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BEST POTATO IN PARADIS
A Profile with Sasha Braus of the Scout Regiment
By: Survey Corps Scout Connie Springer My dear friend and potato connoisseur Sasha and I traveled across Paradis searching for the best baked potatoes in all the lands. We scoped out tiny hole-in-the-wall restaurants in the center to the distant villages beyond until we found the ultimate potato.I found Sasha after our latest expedition, and she seemed a little worse for wear. She was slight bruised and scraped up but was otherwise healthy and in good spirits.“I’m so excited!” Sasha exclaimed and embraced me the moment she saw me. Her soft auburn hair had come loose from the ponytail in her haste to begin our next noble mission: potato tasting. Her warm brown eyes sparkled in excitement. “Let’s eat our body weight in potatoes!”We were off to an ambitious start.The first location we tracked down was a quaint little shop on the outskirts of Wall Maria. The area had been reclaimed from the Titans but occasionally one ugly abnormal crawled out from the rubble, so Sasha and I kept our eyes peeled as we trekked down the cobblestone streets and dirt road paths. We were thrilled to taste these potatoes, having heard raving reviews from our comrade Mikasa who used to go to this cute neighborhood shop in her childhood. We located the humble establishment at the foot of some rubble.“Hello from-“ Sasha began but stumbled forward as an angry villager shoved past her and yelled something about government corruption.“Hello from the Scouts!” Sasha tried again with unabated enthusiasm, as I hastily jotted down her review on my notepad. “We are out and about in the outer walls, in the now liberated Wall Maria. Here we have Maria’s Grocery, known for their juicy sweet potatoes baked with fresh, local butter and cinnamon! Quite the classic! Think of the warm, creamy, buttery potato your mother would make in the cold seasons! Mm, I think I’m tasting a bit of egg yolk. So good!” Sasha said. “Though I wish it had been cooked only a little less time. It’s a bit too soft and falls apart in your hands. And I haven’t got a spoon. That’s my only complaint.” Sasha wiped her hands on her trousers and pulled her green hood over her head against the cold wind. Our boots crunched on shattered glass as we walked back to the gate, searching for a quieter place to finish our meal. Behind us, an abandoned push cart full of waste had caught fire, and a few feral children were roasting something on a stick close by.A group of protestors shouldered past Sasha, and she almost dropped her potato! It was yet another demonstration against the misunderstood scout regiment. We pulled our green cloaks more tightly around us. Sasha wondered aloud whether we should have worn civilian clothes to disguise ourselves, but I reminded her there was no shame in being a scout. The sound of a gun went off in the distance, and Sasha flinched. We heard the distant shouting of the military police and angry townspeople. Undeterred, Sasha bravely pressed onwards. The next potato we tried that day was from the Holy Wall, a small restaurant in Mitras. The line was long and stretched around the corner of the hole-in-the-wall restaurant, as there were few spaces for seating in this popular little spot. It was an antique look to the place, a very cute and very old design I had not seen for quite some time. We waited in line for over ten minutes before Sasha and I were able to purchase a potato apiece. It was the most overpriced potato I ever purchased in my short lifetime, but Sasha had no regrets.“Wow! Aesthetically, this is the prettiest potato I’ve ever laid eyes on! Take a look at that warm, golden coloring!” Sasha was enchanted yet again by a potato. She took a ravenous chomp. “I’m tasting a mix of unknown spices and savory seasoning. I don’t think my taste buds have ever had the privilege of trying such scrumptious flavors! So far, the best potato!”I had to ask Sasha to repeat herself because unfortunately we had been caught amidst a hoard of wall worshipers. To our dismay, we were booed. We pushed past the angry priests and their followers to finish our potatoes in a more peaceful environment. Once we escaped from the civil unrest, Sasha scarfed down her potato and rated it even better than the Wall Maria potato and eyed mine almost menacingly. Always hungry, she wanted to buy another Mitras potato, so I had to make sure she conserved what was left of her wallet. I also tucked my potato safely in my pocket, out of her reach.“Might as well turn in, Sasha. Remember, we have the scouting expedition tomorrow.”“The tireless work of the survey corps never ends!”We retired to bed early that day, having a mission the following morning. At dawn, we set out to the outer walls. On our way, we stopped for breakfast at a humble potato stand at a farming village within Wall Rose. We were greeted warmly by the shop owners a lovely senior couple that would remind anyone of their own grandparents. The potatoes did not look too perfect or round, rather, they were quite lumpy, but the smell had me nearly drooling. However, we weren’t able to sink our teeth into the mouthwatering potato because Captain Levi would have our heads for running late, so Sasha packed our delicious potatoes away for lunch. Self-sacrifice was the name of the game for the scouts.During a quick expedition to a supply shed, we were ambushed by a hoard of bloodthirsty Titans. Fortunately, the magnificent skills of the scouts served us well, and we rapidly dispatched the bunch. Sasha zipped away from a steaming Titan, potato already in hand, and I enthusiastically followed her, hoping for a chance at another interview, and, possibly, a bite of that delectable potato.“I reheated it for you, Connie!” Sasha said excitedly, the potato dripping juices and hot from the Titan steam. She ripped it in half and tossed me my lunch.“Incredible,” I gasped. The ingenuity of the scouts impressed me every single day. I don’t regret joining for a moment as I met some of the most amazing people in my life in the survey corps, which also happens to be recruiting right now.We landed on a nearby rooftop, one of the few surrounding ones that wasn’t on fire from the searing heat emanating from the evaporating titans, Sasha already tearing into the potato. “This baked potato is so soft and buttery! Even reheated, it’s the tastiest thing I ever put in my mouth! It wasn’t the prettiest potato, but it's truly my favorite one!” A shrill scream interrupted her reveries, as our comrade Armin was startled by an unexpected abnormal bursting through the roof of an abandoned home, but our intrepid and talented comrades Jean and Mikasa were quick to neutralize the threat. “We have a winner!” Sasha said. She had already devoured the potato faster than a Titan could snap up unsuspecting villagers. “The top three potatoes in Paradis. In third place, the delicious Wall Maria potato. Very good, but quite a normal and typical potato recipe, maybe the texture could be a bit too soft and squishy for some. Second place, the Mitras potato from the Holy Wall. It's a gorgeous potato, and warm and juicy and bursts with flavors you never quite tasted before. And finally, first and foremost, the village potato! Honestly, there’s nothing like a good old fashioned village potato, simply seasoned with a pinch of salt and local butter! There you have it, folks! The best potato in Paradis!”I completely agree with Sasha’s assessment. If you have the time and an adventurous spirit, please don't hesitate to make a trip out to the villages of Wall Rose, for an experience your tastebuds will never forget. You won’t be disappointed! -Connie Springer