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Time itself could not stretch far enough to summarise just how long Sasuke has known Naruto. It felt as if their friendship was something predestined by a higher power but Sasuke would never tell Naruto that he believed in things like fate or destiny. It seemed stupid to give into those melodramatic fantasies, and Sasuke was the furthest thing from the protagonist of a soap opera.But... he would be lying if he said that he didn't think about the chances of his parents deciding to move to a small neighbourhood in the East of Konoha City. A small neighbourhood that had one vacant house that just so happened to be right next to the Uzumaki residence. Sasuke thought about coincidences a lot and his favourite will always be living beside Naruto. Every one of his memories, even the most earliest ones, all had Naruto in them and he couldn't imagine a life without the blond. They had celebrated every birthday together, learned how to ride bikes together, lost their baby teeth together and failed their exams together too. It's like his mother always said, "What would you two be without each other?". Sasuke knew the answer, and it wasn't pleasant. The bleak nothingness that would've been his life without the blond was something he didn't want to focus on. That kind of a reality didn't exist anyways because how can existence begin without those blue eyes looking at him first?But he'll save the existentialism for another day. Today was Tuesday, and the 2nd day of classes. It was also Sasuke's 9th day of living together with Naruto as roommates in their apartment.Dreams really do come true, another thought he keeps to himself, as he pulls the blanket off a sleeping blond. "Wake up dipshit, we're going to be late to our lecture!" Sasuke groaned, although internally he celebrated that he was the first and last face Naruto saw each day."Mm, Sas, please... five more minutes," Naruto mumbled, speaking into his pillow as he turned away from his roommate.There was something domestic and sweet about waking each other up, it was a fantasy Sasuke had played in his mind from time to time.Middle school was the first time the two of them had ever slept away from home. It was a short three-day trip at a camp for their junior football team. It was also Sasuke's first time spending more than 24 hours with the blond. Sure, they had sleepovers and sometimes Naruto overstayed his welcome until lunch the next day. But that was it.They'd go back to their respective homes and would hangout whenever. But, more than 24 hours with the blond in a cramped log cabin sharing one twin-sized mattress because there were too many boys, had caused a new realisation for Sasuke. He was in love. Madly at that too.And the subject of his affection, of his adoration and all his attention, slept only a few centimeters away from him on the same mattress.The last thing a middle school boy going through the turbulent throes of adolescence and puberty needed was a crush. But, a crush on your male best friend whom you've known since childhood felt like the end of the world. Being gay, or even the term homosexuality, wasn't anything new to the boys. Rather, Sasuke's cousin was gay and they had learned extensively of sexual orientations during health class. But, Sasuke being gay seemed so out-of-left-field that he avoided Naruto for a week to "snap out of it". It didn't work, and they soon fell back into the comfortable routine of their regular friendship. Except, every touch burned his pale skin and those blue eyes of Naruto's looked extra pretty each time Sasuke saw him.The raven made a vow to himself in his last year of middle school that he'll get through these feelings because there was no way that Naruto was gay. When porn magazines and ecchi sites were trending amongst their friend group, the blond had been the first to circulate the material. He was also friends with two sleazy teachers in their high school as well. Every single aspect of Naruto's social life pointed towards him liking girls and that was enough for Sasuke. Anymore digging into his best friend's private activities and the raven was afraid he'd come out of it with a hole in his heart."Ugh, get up damn it! I don't have time for this!" He kicks the sleeping lump of tan skin and blond hair.For a moment, the body stirs but lies limply on the mattress again. It didn't matter how often he did this, but there was not a single alarm in the world that was strong enough to wake up the blond. Having given up for the 2nd day in a row, Sasuke leaves for morning lectures alone but fulfilled. He got his share of Naruto in the morning before the chaos of fangirls and their friends break up what little time he has with the blond.Sasuke felt bad for thinking this way but he hadn't underestimated Naruto's popularity in college. For a guy that most girls avoided in high school, he had gone through a glow-up over the summer before college and had become a heartthrob.Yeah, he made Sasuke's heart throb too. The feeling was sickening and the raven decided that there was no better time than college to get over this lifelong crush. Naruto had his own little circle of fans, people that ate up his time and constantly badgered him for attention. Sasuke could have that too, except it would less obnoxious and would probably be one person who kind of liked him.But that would be fine. If Sasuke could manage to make one friend, and hopefully a lover, that would help him expand his social group beyond just Naruto. That was his only goal for his first year of college, but he hardly knew just how hard it would be to achieve it.
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Sasuke sat down at their small kitchen table, the one with the crooked leg that Naruto fixed with his physics textbook.The morning sunlight was streaming in through the thin curtains and touched the edge of Sasuke's knee. Quiet mornings were a luxury and he was soaking in the serenity of it all.A loud crash came from Naruto's room and the raven leaned back in his chair like routine as the blond came running out. "Sasuke!! Why didn't you wake me up?!?" The blond hollered, still in his t-shirt and boxers, as he ran across the room to their shared bathroom. It didn't matter that Sasuke had tried to wake Naruto up for his first lecture that started at 8:00 a.m sharp. It also didn't matter that Naruto was currently exclusively using Sasuke's bath products because apparently they "smelled better". Sasuke loved routine and he craved it to make him centered and balanced. Plus, the chances of Naruto actually waking up on time were so low that Sasuke felt confident that his routine would never break.The blond would always need Sasuke to wake him up, and this ritual of shouting and shoving had become precious. A key moment of Sasuke's quiet mornings."You have to eat breakfast!" Sasuke shouted as Naruto ran across again, this time with a towel wrapped around his waist. The blond sauntered over to the kitchen table with a greedy look in his eyes and snatched the piece of toast right out of Sasuke's hands. With a cheeky smile and a loud thank you, he went running into his bedroom.8th piece of toast to be stolen by Naruto. It's a record that Sasuke mentally notes because saying it out loud would probably make all his other feelings bubble out too. As he reaches for the bread bag, a quiet vibration comes from his phone and he takes it out of his pocket to see that Itachi is calling.His genius older brother with an age gap that made him see Sasuke as his child. Itachi acted more like a father to Sasuke than their actual father was. He would nag, talk about his glory years in college and would carry a small bag of trail nuts with him whereever he went. Sasuke was 18 now, but Itachi was 27. But, his older brother was the same as ever."Hello?""Hey, how are you?" His brother's signature calm voice came from the other end. Itachi had instilled in Sasuke at a young age that peace was of the most importance. You must never lose peace which goes hand-in-hand with balance. But, that's also why Sasuke never told him that he might be gay.It disturbs their peace. Their dynamic of the proud older brother and the inspiring younger brother.When their cousin had come out to the family, the reactions had definitely been a mixed bag. Sasuke's mother and father did not care, but it might be because that wasn't their son who came out. Itachi, on the other hand, seemed to have avoided Shisui all together for what felt like months. Things are different now and the two meet for coffee every now and then... but for middle school Sasuke, his brother's reaction was everything. "I'm alright. Waiting for Naruto to finish getting ready," Sasuke peered at the slightly open door and accidentally caught a flash of the blond's tan abs."Ah, right, you're roommates with Naruto," Itachi's voice felt uncharacteristically far."Yeah, it's a pain in the ass sometimes. But, I'd rather him than some stranger," "I remember my college days..." Oh no, here it goes. Itachi's infamous reputation at college for being a high-achiever and the most popular man on campus. Shisui and Itachi had been pretty close during college but things trailed off from there.Sasuke didn't know why he kept seeing Shisui's torn expression when faced with his brother's rejection. It felt like Sasuke couldn't let go of that one particular image. "I hope no one's pressuring you to follow in my footsteps. I didn't think you would want to go into architecture just like me, Sasuke," Itachi always spoke fondly of Sasuke, but when he found out that his little brother wanted to do architecture too, he was over the moon.'Of course I had to do it. Everyone's eyes are on me to be the next you.' But Sasuke could never say that to his beloved older brother. Itachi cared too much and he knew that his older brother was sensitive to anything regarding Sasuke."Mm, I like it so far. It's only the second day of lectures but the professors seem capable," he answered quietly, listening in to the shuffling in Naruto's room."Oh that's great!" He felt his brother pause, and Sasuke loathed whatever would come out of Itachi's mouth next."You know I hate nagging, but this isn't nagging, alright? I... Sasuke, you know I love you very much," Sasuke groaned into the phone as he knew exactly what Itachi was going to tell him."It's just... it's not good for you to isolate your friend group to just Naruto. He's a very good friend, but you should take your time in college to meet new people..." He hated these pitiful nagging sessions where it felt like Itachi had rehearsed what to say hours before saying it."I know-""Is that Itachi?" Sasuke looked up to see Naruto.Dressed in his favourite blue hoodie and baggy jeans, the blond grabbed the phone out of Sasuke's hand and began talking loudly into the phone. Sasuke cringed as he saw Naruto's boxers showing from the sagging of his jeans, and turned away.Their style had been another thing that completely changed after the last summer before college. Naruto had taken on some new persona that oozed, what the blond called "swag", but looked like untidiness to Sasuke. Whatever happened to a simple sweater and pants? He put the plates away and ate one last piece of toast as Naruto said goodbye to Itachi. The blond came over to the sink where Sasuke was washing the dishes with a bright smile on his face."What?""Itachi said I'd make a great engineer one day," he beamed at Sasuke.The raven rolled his eyes as he imagined what kind of old man speech Itachi might have given Naruto. "Say, Sas, when you come up with cool buildings and your weird little blueprints, give them to me ok?" Naruto huffed his chest."I'm going to make your dreams come true!" He proudly exclaimed and Sasuke sucked in a breath to stop the beating of his heart."I worry for the structural integrity of my buildings," "Hey!" A small playful shove and he felt the blond push his cellphone into his back pocket. A shiver ran down Sasuke's spine at the touch and he shook his head. "You should hurry up though, we're going to be late," Naruto said with a yawn and Sasuke rolled his eyes."Some roommate you are, I always clean. What do you do?" He asked exasperated and received another cheeky grin in response."Well... I make the messes!" One kick to the leg and Naruto was rushing to pick up both of their bags to ask for forgiveness. Sasuke finished his chore and turned to the entrance to see Naruto on his knees with their bags and shoes neatly lined next to him."Oh great Sasuke, the smartest and kindest in the land! Please let me borrow your notes for the lecture!" He rubbed his hands together in apology and Sasuke huffed a small laugh.Ridiculous as always."Yeah sure, whatever idiot," he laughed as he put on his sneakers and bag, leaving Naruto to stumble behind him.
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"So... what were you and Itachi discussing?" Sasuke asked casually, trying his best not to shake his nonchalant demeanour."Y'know, no matter how many times you ask me, I'm never gonna give you an answer," Naruto answered with a cheeky grin, sticking out his tongue at a stifled Sasuke as he outpaced the raven.They were currently rushing to their respective lectures, but they always referred to it in the singular. It was "their lecture" and, in a way, the singularity of it all was what made it so difficult for Sasuke to let go of his feelings for Naruto. Everything they did and had ever done was in a partnership, and leaving Naruto behind to procure that sort of bond with someone else felt nothing short of wrong. "I don't get why you two need to hide things from me," Sasuke huffed as he caught up with Naruto, and wondered whether the blond's conversations with Itachi had to do with Sasuke's isolation from the rest of society. It seemed that regardless of how loud Naruto talked into the phone, Sasuke was always out of the loop and that frustration was something he didn't want to share with his best friend.As the two approached the brutalist-style building, they each wished a goodbye to another and Sasuke headed down the opposite side of the hallway. Sparing glances at the retreating back of the blond, he noticed the swarm of people that immediately attached themselves to Naruto's side.Amongst the crowd one person stood out and Sasuke felt his stomach churn as he watched her wring her arms around a tan bicep. Sakura Haruno, currently a student in the general engineering program with all the other first-years, and worst of all, had all the same classes with Naruto. It felt like the same universe that placed Sasuke by Naruto's side was now in favour of this pink-haired woman who seemingly appeared out of nowhere.It was only the second day, yet here was this massive crowd and there was Naruto, inching further and further from Sasuke. The raven had only realised he had been walking absentmindedly when he crashed right into someone else, sending both individuals flying to the ground. With a long groan, Sasuke focused his vision on a white-haired man who looked just as puzzled. "Woah man, watch where you're going!" The other guy hollered, displaying his sharp teeth for Sasuke to gaze at with disgust."You should've seen me coming and moved out of the way!" Sasuke argued back as the two of them got up to face one another."Seen you coming?! Hey man, do you think these hallways are a one-way street or what? You have eyes don't you?! Use them!" The white-haired man screeched and Sasuke cringed his face causing the other man to rile up even more."Ugh, sometimes I wonder about the creatures lurking around campus," the raven muttered to himself as he dusted himself off and tried to push past the stranger."Creature?! You calling me a creature, you emo bastard?!" the man screamed again and Sasuke turned around, enraged."Emo bastard?! Fix your mouth before you tell me to fix my eyesight! I don't even know you!" The two of them were barely a few inches from each other, fury radiating off of them in droves."I'm Suigetsu, you moron!" He screamed his name and Sasuke felt like his eardrums were bleeding. Giving nothing more than a huff, the raven turned around and stomped away. His wonderful morning was absolutely ruined and he felt an overwhelming urge to tell Naruto about it right away, but as he rounded the corner, Sasuke stopped and thought about it. That was the first time he'd talked to anyone else on campus, all of his communication had been centered on Naruto and the raven sparkled a bit as he realised this was his first interaction outside of the blond. It didn't matter whether Sasuke had made a friend or foe, this was his personal victory for the day and the blond didn't need to know. It's not like they shared every part of their life anyways.Sasuke looked around to make sure no one else had seen his little eureka moment and then happily made his way to class. The lecture was just as long and boring as it had been the day before, but now the raven had a singular hope to increase his time with this Suigetsu character.'Get me out of this crush-like rut, you white-haired imp' Sasuke thought to himself as he considered that creating a frenemy would probably make his older brother proud.Two lectures later and Sasuke avoided the cafeteria because he knew that Naruto would be there with his groupies. Sasuke was making his way down the hall when his phone buzzed with three notifications from Naruto. All of them had egregious spelling but the basic meaning was "where are you?", and the only thing the raven replied with was "None of your business."Perfect spelling, grammar and punctuation. Hanging out next to Naruto at lunch was painful and he had experience it only once, but that was enough. Sasuke didn't want to see people hanging off his crush and salivating at a single smile from the blond. Sasuke had one goal and that was to meet someone outside of his intoxicating friendship, and he did that, somehow. Now, he needed to make sure that this new weirdo would stay. So, lo and behold, as he makes his way out to the courtyard and the first person he meets is Suigetsu, who is failing at feeding the pigeons in the square."Good job, bird brain" Sasuke quips and immediately catches the other man's attention.Suigetsu sends him a suspicious glare before a knowing look passes in his eyes, and soon he's right up in Sasuke's face. "Fuck you man, you don't get to talk to me like that," Sasuke smirked as he listened to Suigetsu's berating.That's it. Insult him, talk like that all you want, this is the greatest advancement Sasuke has made in his college career and this only proves that he is capable of interacting with someone other than Naruto."Are you even listening to me? God, why do I even bother with you engineering dweebs?!!?" Suigetsu gripped at his hair like a madman but it seemed like Sasuke's smirk only made him angrier.Before the silver-haired guy could get another word in, a sudden flash of blond was standing between Sasuke and Suigetsu and the shock of the intrusion nearly sent Sasuke flying back."Woah man, hey, I'm sure Sasuke didn't mean to get on your nerves," Oh classic Naruto, ever the peacekeeper. It was no wonder that he and Itachi had so much to talk about."You know this shithead?" Suigetsu asked, crossing his arms belligerently. "Yeah- hey don't call him that, he's my best friend," Naruto grimaced as he squared-up with Suigetsu, who backed off when he realised that Naruto nearly towered over him."God, won't you relax? We were just talking," Sasuke chimed in with a roll of the eyes, and both of the guys looked at him surprised."You call that talking, you emo bastard?! The stereotypes are true, you engineering bastards have no social skills!" Suigetsu began rampaging again and only had Naruto's arm to hold him back from throwing a punch at Sasuke.Naruto, on the other hand, looked nearly shocked to hear Sasuke even regard another person. His expression gave his thoughts away and that only fueled Sasuke's turmoil to prove that he can live without the blond."You should stop butting into my business," Sasuke spat as he glared between Naruto and Suigetsu."What? I was wondering where you were, and then I hear people saying that there's a fight happening out here! Then I see it's you! I was worried-" Naruto stammered as he tried to talk while holding back the screaming Suigetsu."Yeah, well whatever. Come on, Seegetsu," Sasuke turned and walked away, only waiting a moment for the white-haired man to follow.To the surprise of both Naruto and Suigetsu, he obediently walked away with Sasuke without another word."My name is Suigetsu, emo bastard! Get that through your thick skull!" he kept the banter up and Sasuke was glad that his new dim-witted friend wasn't asking any questions about the tension back there.Naruto stood still in the square as he watched Sasuke walk away with someone he had never seen the raven talk to. In a way, it felt weird to know that Sasuke was interested in talking to other people but the blond couldn't pinpoint why it was weird. Isn't it a good thing that Sasuke was making new friends? Well, sort of friends? The blond decided that he'd ask about this new development when they get back home, because Sasuke would never miss walking back with Naruto. He hadn't missed a single appointment since they were kindergarteners.
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Sasuke found himself on the east side of their campus, an area he wasn't very familiar with as all his classes took place in the western quadrant. "Where are we?" Sasuke turned to Suigetsu, who didn't seem very happy to have followed the raven all the way here."Huh? Didn't you do the campus tour a week ago?" Suigetsu answered sarcastically."No, I was busy moving. I don't have time for frivolous things like tours," Sasuke spoke so matter-of-factly that it left Suigetsu with his mouth agape."Frivolous?! You're so pretentious it's making me sick. East campus is where all the culture and action happens!" He explained ecstatically, pointing at each building and naming each of their functions.There was the central university library, then a few smaller buildings that houses each of the departments belonging to the Humanities division. There was even a small park where it seemed like a group yoga session was happening. "Hn, I see," Sasuke wasn't very impressed by it.The west side of campus was where the more logical side of the student population resided, or that's what Sasuke believed. He couldn't imagine leaving his lecture to see people doing downward dog only a few steps away from him."To each their own, I suppose," Sasuke shrugged but his response irked Suigetsu."Ugh, you engineering brutes no nothing but your bland little concrete buildings," Suigetsu snapped."Hmph, I'm in architecture," Sasuke barked back, somewhat offended that Suigetsu thought of his favourite part of the campus as bland. "Architecture? Then what are you doing in the engineering buildings?"The question made Sasuke still. Technically, his classes were a few buildings away from the core engineering buildings. But, he can't just come out and tell Suigetsu that he's there just for Naruto. It would sound too weird."I like the buildings, is there something wrong with hanging out there?" Sasuke turned his nose up as he commented."Man, you're such a prick, you know that? Whatever," Suigetsu rolled his eyes and sat down on a nearby bench.Sasuke took a moment but sat down next to his new "friend". Suigetsu was slumped where he sat and looked across the park at each of the people who walked by. "I'm in kinesiology, thanks for asking," the white haired man spoke after a while. Sasuke was surprised by the information but felt a little bad because of his lacking social skills. Why is it so hard to talk normally to other people? He talks all the time with Naruto, but he's struggling now with Suigetsu."...sorry," Sasuke mumbled, and jumped when he felt Suigetsu instantly turn to face him."Woah, so you're capable of apologizing!" Suigetsu spoke loudly, and Sasuke cringed as he avoided the stares of the people passing by."Don't talk so loudly, idiot... yeah I can apologise, I'm not some-" "Weirdo? I totally thought you were a robot sent to piss me off. But, I guess you have a human sode after all," Suigetsu hummed happily to himself."I approached you because I wanted to make a friend," Sasuke spoke quietly, his ears burning from the embarassment of the confession. Suigetsu didn't say anything and that worried Sasuke, but he felt too scared to look up and see the expression on the other man's face. "I see..." that's all Suigetsu said, and it made Sasuke's stomach churn.Maybe he had lost the chance to make a new friend after all. Maybe someone like him wasn't meant to make friends at all. Meeting Naruto and staying friends with him all this time had been pure luck after all."I'd like to be your friend, but no more pissing me off, got it?" Suigetsu turned to Sasuke and flashed a toothy grin."S-seriously?" The raven couldn't believe it, the first friend he's made outside of Naruto."Yeah! We're buddies now!" There was something so innocent and sweet in Suigetsu's laugh that Sasuke found himself chuckling too.The two sat on the bench for hours just chatting and for once, Sasuke felt like maybe he was understood by someone outside of his family and Naruto. He can have a life outside of his intoxicating friendship with the blond, and it gave him further hope that a relationship would be possible too."By the way, I thought you already had a friend? That blond guy back there, I've seen him around campus before," Sasuke didn't know how to begin to describe their friendship."Oh, he's... a childhood friend," a short answer that couldn't even begin to encompass how extraordinary their friendship was."Oh, ok... he seemed pretty passionate about stopping our fight," Suigetsu chuckled but Sasuke only felt sick to his stomach. Was it obvious to other people the way Sasuke looked at Naruto? Did they seen the yearning in his eyes? The time on the bench passed and the warm glow of the setting sun approached soon enough. The two men bid goodbye to each other and Suigetsu made Sasuke promise to meet him for lunch again on Thursday.Two days from now, Sasuke will have his first lunch with his new friend. These were small accomplishments, but he felt good about it. They were huge steps to Sasuke after all.His current hurdle, however, was walking back home with Naruto who he knew would 100% ask about what happened at lunch. He could hear the blond's raspy voice already.Why didn't you eat lunch with me? Where were you? Who was the guy you were arguing with? ...why did you tell me to mind my own business?Sasuke could see those droopy blue puppy eyes, the wobbling of those pink lips and the way his eyebrows will scrunch just the slightest.The raven had a problem and he was waiting for Sasuke at the front gates.
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As Sasuke warily approached the iron gates marking the entrance of the university, the tall and familiar figure of his childhood friend came into view.As expected, there was Naruto and next to Naruto, of course, was his entourage. Probably just as discouraged and annoyed as yesterday that the blond was choosing to walk home with Sasuke rather than hangout with them.Immediately the raven made eye contact with Sakura as he approached, and the woman's inner thoughts couldn't be more obvious as she scrunched up her face. 'Yeah, yeah, I know. Hate to see you too,' Sasuke thought to himself before being blinded by Naruto's gleaming smile."Sasuke! You're here!" Naruto called out, pushing past the semi-circle of his fanclub to reach the raven.This star-like quality and over-the-top popularity was pretty high up on the list of things that Sasuke hated about Naruto. The blond had this gravitating aura that just brought people to him through some strange hypnosis. Sasuke knew he was the first of many victims but breaking this curse was all he cared about. Besides making a new friend, his next move in his plan to distance himself was to not get so excited over any attention the blond gave him.Having Naruto notice him in the midst of a big crowd filled with people more attractive and sociable than Sasuke was something the raven craved for. Those blue eyes following him, waiting for him, listening so intently to him.He could get drunk on how powerful Naruto made him feel, but just as easily, Sasuke fell into despair when the reality hits that Naruto would never feel the same as him.Unrequited love is just another word for involuntary loyalty. Or, Sasuke thought and right now, he needed to act like it was no big deal that Naruto had waited for him all this time."You sure took a while to get here," the blond spoke with a bright smile as he approached Sasuke.But the raven stopped himself from responding that he was with Suigetsu all afternoon.What was it to Naruto anyways? "Hn," he muttered, pushing past Naruto and gliding effortlessly through the crowd to get out of campus. A deep sting ached in his heart as he caught the passing expression on the blond's face as he walked by. But, Sasuke was on an important mission and becoming weak to the enemy again wouldn't be good.As he trudged down the sidewalk to get to their apartment, he heard Naruto say a quick goodbye to the entourage and speed down next to him."What was that about?" the blond asked carefully, his gaze piercing the side of Sasuke's face."What was what about?" Sasuke responded, trying his best to be nonchalant and act like his negligence was an everyday occurrence."You didn't say hi or anything, you just pushed past me," Naruto's voice sounded accusatory and it made Sasuke's blood boil.His brother always told him that he was born with a short fuse."What's it to you?" Sasuke glowered as he sped up but Naruto easily caught up."See? You do things like this, you ignore me, and then at lunch- what was that at lunch? You were in a fight!" the blond exclaimed and Sasuke rolled his eyes."We're not in preschool anymore, I don't need to constantly hangout with you," Sasuke was seething as all his pent up emotions came bubbling out.He avoided looking at Naruto's face even though his heart was screaming at him to apologise."What- Sasuke, that's not the point! You were in a fight! You never get into fights, you're supposed to be the rational one!" Naruto sounded in disbelief."I really don't want to talk about this right now, I'm hungry and tired, ok?" Sasuke sighed and Naruto stopped talking until they walked through the front door of the apartment.It was like a dam had broken and Sasuke was cornered between Naruto and the front door as his keys dropped to the ground.Naruto was very well-built, and Sasuke had a healthy build himself, but in this position, those imposing pecs had Sasuke nearly wheezing. The raven looked up to see the suspicious look in Naruto's eyes and feared that the blond might be into what he's trying to do. Was that a good or bad thing?"Who is he?" Naruto's voice was low and careful.Sasuke shifted his eyes to the left wall, trying his best to avoid the hard stare, but Naruto wasn't giving up."The guy you were fighting with, who is that? I've never seen him around," At this response Sasuke was rolling his eyes again.This was such typical Naruto behaviour and that angered Sasuke. To Naruto, the only world that existed was the one that he experienced and interacted with daily. Anything outside of his interactions simply didn't exist to the blond and this sort of negligence was something Sasuke hated about him.This and the fact that close was never close enough for Naruto. The latter was definitely felt more as Sasuke began to sweat the more his mind battled between rational thoughts and being bent over the kitchen counter by the blond. "Right, because if you don't know them, then surely they don't matter right?" Sasuke scoffed, gulping as he noticed the strain of Naruto's jaw."I'm not saying that- what, why would you think I'm saying that? I never see you with anyone else and today, all of a sudden, you're about to throw fists with this complete stranger," Naruto speaks with an almost venomous tone and Sasuke wonders how this argument will end."He's not a stranger, he's my friend," At the word friend Sasuke could've sworn he saw a look of shock on Naruto's face, but he blinked and it was gone."His name's Suigetsu, he's in the kinesiology program," Sasuke spoke while staring at the floor and hoped that this would be the end of the questions.Naruto had other thoughts."If he's a friend, why were you two fighting?" The blond asked curiously, and that look of suspicion passed in his blue eyes again.What was Sasuke going to say? He can't be upfront and just tell Naruto that he's planning on reducing the space the blond took up in his heart.That Sasuke planned on meeting new people, having other friends and, one day, getting a lover who feels the same about him. That he didn't want to suffer an unrequited love anymore, that Sasuke deserved a life not so closely entwined with Naruto.Instead he stumbled over his words and panicked when his thoughts weren't straightening out. In a flight of panic, he pushed past the blond, dropping his coat onto the living room floor and ran into his room to hide.Sitting on the edge of his bed after locking the door, Sasuke heard soft shuffling from the living room and realised that Naruto was putting their jackets away. It's unlike him to show any responsibility like that but maybe arguing with Sasuke had him shaken up. Just like how Sasuke was shivering as though a mad fever were running through his body.Growing up so closely together had meant a lot of moments shared in close proximity physically. A lot of hugs, holding hands, sleeping in one twin-sized bed and even, in middle school, an accidental kiss on the lips.But nothing brought a frenzy of heartbeats, so much so that Sasuke thought he was having a heart attack, quite like the last few seconds. Having Naruto pressed up against him, constricting him between the cold metal of the front door and the warmth of his chest had Sasuke reeling.All the raven wanted in that moment, arguments and pettiness be damned, was to wrap his arms around those wide shoulders. He wanted to hold Naruto close, kiss him, kiss him some more and tell him that this deep love was eating him alive.Instead, he had ran into his room to hide like a coward. His phone suddenly buzzed from his back pocket and Sasuke opened it to find a small message from Suigetsu.Confused at first as to how the man got his contact information, he remembered a brief interruptuption to exchange their numbers during their long conversation on the bench.
Suigetsu
5:37 p.m.
hey, emo face! dont forget to send me ur school sched
Emo face, huh? Sasuke chuckled softly to himself as he sent an emoji of a middle finger to his new friend. He can't hide in his room forever. At some point, he's going to have to face Naruto and his thousand questions as the blond realises that Sasuke is pulling away.In Sasuke's mind, he knows that Naruto won't really care as Sasuke is practically the same as any other friend the blond has. You lose one friend, you gain another.But, in Sasuke's heart, he really hoped the blond would miss him and beg him to stay with him. Like a forlorn lover except it didn't seem possible given their current relationship. Sasuke slowly opened the door of his bedroom to see Naruto sipping a soda can while on the sofa. He seemed to be spacing out as he barely paid attention to what was playing on T.V.As soon as Sasuke took a step outside, Naruto immediately sat up and looked at him."Sasuke I-""I'm going to get started on dinner," he spoke monotonously and bee-lined to their kitchen area. Wrapping his apron around himself, he began to busy himself with cooking but despite hearing the sound of the T.V., he knew that Naruto was watching him. In all 19 year of knowing each other, Sasuke knew that this abrupt change in behaviour was not going to be taken well by the blond at first.'He'll grow used to it... hell, he might not even care after a while,' Sasuke tried to comfort himself with the thought.As children, Naruto had always received whatever he wanted whether it was for his birthday or for Christmas. He was never in need of anything and because of this, Naruto never really spent too long on one item. When a certain toy or activity that he once wanted had lost it's luster, he'd simply move onto the next best thing. In a way, Sasuke knew that the same process will happen to him. When Naruto finally tires of his cold behaviour and chooses the next person in line to be his new best friend, Sasuke can do nothing but watch. He'll get thrown away and this next person will get to enjoy all the good and bad of Naruto.By the time he had finished cooking, Sasuke finally paid attention and realised that he had cooked all of Naruto's favourites. Like a fool, nothing had changed even though he had willed himself to make some difference.As he called the blond to sit down and eat, the selection of dishes brought a warm smile on Naruto's face and Sasuke hated how his heart melted at the sight."Thanks Sas," the blond immediately began scarfing down the meal while Sasuke took small bites.They ate in silence which wasn't new but after the plates were clean and there was nothing else to preoccupy themselves with, the two were left with an unsettling aura hanging over them."I didn't mean to make you mad," Naruto spoke quietly, his eyes trained on the dinner table. "I know," Sasuke responded in a soft tone, glancing between Naruto and his empty plate."It's good to see you make new friends," Sasuke didn't know how to respond but muttered a quick 'I know'.The conversation, for the first time in their lives, was going nowhere and Sasuke knew that this was only the beginning of the first crack in their relationship.The raven got up to wash the dishes like clockwork while Naruto left to take a shower. For the rest of the evening, they went about their usual routine but barely said a word to one another. The time they would spend at night watching trash T.V. together never happened as Sasuke retired to his room early.He didn't want to spend more hours glued to Naruto's side like he usually did. Stealing glances and shy touches wasn't what Sasuke wanted anymore and his sleep that night was terrible. In the bedroom across the hall, Naruto laid on his bed scrolling through his new text messages. But, the only thing on his mind was how pained Sasuke looked while talking to him.The raven had never worn such an expression around Naruto and the blond hated that his immediate instinct was to blame the arrival of this new friend.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
"Sasuke... Sas, wake up," a soft voice called out to Sasuke who groaned in response.It was way too early, his room felt dark and his duvet was soft and warm. Whoever was shaking him and calling for him to get up clearly had something coming for them as the raven blinked one eye open to send an evil glare at them.Naruto was sitting on the edge of his bed, his tan hand pushing Sasuke's bangs away from his face as he softly called for the raven to get up. "Mm, I'm up..." Sasuke mumbled sleepily.Suddenly a warm weight was resting against his abdomen and he could feel the heat emanating off of whatever it was through the duvet cover. Opening his eye again, he was shocked to see Naruto lazily sprawled on top of him, his face resting against Sasuke's stomach and his eyes watching the man closely. "What is it?" Sasuke asked slowly, unsure of why the blond was acting like this all of a sudden.Sasuke had assumed that Naruto was mad at him given their argument from the day before, but he laid there with this serene look on his face."You look so sweet when you're sleeping," Naruto whispered and Sasuke laid still, his ears ringing as he tried to understand whether he heard that right or not.Naruto sat up, the weight shifting on the mattress and dipping forward as the blond reached down to be face to face with Sasuke. "W-what-" "I want to apologise Sas, you know I don't want to lose you..." the blond's words sound so carefully chosen, like he had taken the time to recite his lines over and over again.It was so unlike Naruto as he usually said the first thing that came to mind, and this change in behaviour had Sasuke's heart beating hard enough to break through his ribs."You're not going to lose me... it's just- I should expand my circle, don't you think?" Sasuke sat up slowly, his eyes trained on Naruto's hands as they encircled his own."Expand your circle? But why? Am I not enough?" the blond pleaded and Sasuke was sure that his heart was a second away from breaking through his chest cavity. A heavy silence fell over them as Sasuke tried to wrench his hand away from Naruto. This sort of sweet talking and those puppy dog eyes, everything seemed so centered on Sasuke and he wanted Naruto to never look away."Of course you're enough... you're more than enough but, we won't always be together like this..." Sasuke spoke with a soft sigh."Why won't be together?" Naruto asked and Sasuke felt that familiar churn in his stomach as he saw exactly where this conversation was headed.Strangely enough, he felt courageous to face the truth head on. He's going to tell Naruto everything that's been weighing on his heart and the raven felt sure that Naruto would understand.There was no more of that anxiety gripping him in a cold sweat every time the topic of their future came up, and Sasuke decided there was no better time than now to speak up."Because I like you Naruto, and I mean it romantically... I want you as my boyfriend but I know that won't happen because one day you'll find some girl you like and I won't get to be by your side anymore," Sasuke bared out his heart and soul, but met with a silence, he worried that maybe his feelings had come across too harshly.Naruto sat completely still, his warm hands still holding onto Sasuke's cold fingers in a strong grip, and his eyes didn't leave Sasuke's gaze whatsoever."You like me?" Naruto's eye widened ever so slightly and Sasuke thought he would throw up from the regret he felt over confessing."Y-yeah, I do... I understand if you don't like me back, I'll move out and-" But before he could finish his statement of apology and next steps, he felt soft lips push against his and two strong arms wrap around his waist. He closed his eyes on instinct and breathed in the strong musky scent of the blond's ocean cologne. Naruto was kissing him, the man he had been in love with since forever, the guy that Sasuke had thanked the universe and every single star for, was currently kissing him. They let go with some reluctance, and he felt Naruto pepper his face with short kisses and finally pull back to look Sasuke in the eyes. "And here I was suffering from unrequited love all these years," Naruto spoke with a beaming smile that nearly blinded Sasuke."All these years?" Sasuke answered confused."Yeah, since as long as I could remember, I didn't want anybody but you," he pressed a kiss onto Sasuke's thin lips and gently caressed the side of his face.It felt like fireworks were erupting in his sternum, and tears blurred the raven's vision as he tried to process that the two of them had been in love with each other secretly all this time. Intense feelings of joy overpowered every sense in Sasuke's body and he closed his eyes from the overwhelming shock of it all.Sasuke opened his eyes to find his upper half on the floor while his lower half was slowly sliding off the bed. He had been drooling and there seemed to be another situation going on below. He sat up slowly as he looked around his room and then realised that all that joy and fireworks had been make-believe. It was a dream and Sasuke said every curse in existence at once at the realisation.There wasn't any heartfelt confession of feelings, no sloppy kisses and Naruto's tan muscular arms weren't holding Sasuke by the hips. He silently screamed into his pillow but as he finally calmed down and came to terms with his reality, he remembered their argument from yesterday and immediately sank into the mattress. There was nothing worse than having to face Naruto now with the double whammy of yesterday's meltdown and this morning's humbling dream. Sasuke would rather jump out of their apartment window right now in his shorts and t-shirt and go to campus looking like he'd been robbed than walking out of his bedroom and facing Naruto. While he contemplated what he should do, a pleasant smell suddenly wafted into his room and it smelled like the most delicious breakfast ever. His stomach grumbled and he groaned internally at the fact that he'd have to eat something before he left. It suddenly dawned on him, however, that the smell meant someone was cooking in the kitchen, and scrambling out of bed, he peeked out to see who it was. Leaning against the counter while whisking eggs in a bowl and wearing his apron was Naruto, and the sight of the blond cooking something seemed as foreign as Sasuke oversleeping. Naruto hadn't noticed Sasuke standing by the door so the raven cleared his throat to get his attention."Oh, hey, good morning," Naruto spoke with his usual morning rasp and upon closer inspection, it seemed that he had heavy eyebags comparable to Sasuke's. "...good morning," Sasuke responded quietly as he sat down by their small dining table right across from the kitchen space. It felt weird not cooking in the kitchen and instead spectating whatever gourmet cuisine the blond was coming up with. Sasuke had never seen Naruto use a cutting board let alone a knife, but the thinly sliced fruit and the golden toast was a pleasant surprise that seemed to cheer him up."I'm sorry I overslept, you should've woken me up..." Sasuke spoke sheepishly, looking down at the hardwood flooring contrasting against his pale bare feet."C'mon, it's rare for you to oversleep so I let you rest... you must've been tired," Naruto had turned his back and was currently cooking something else at the stove.They stayed in a comfortable silence, but the longer the seconds went without talking, the more nervous Sasuke felt as every memory of his dream came flooding back. "I didn't know you knew how to cook," he tried to bring up a different topic that would hopefully help him forget that he dreamed about confessing."Well, I thought it would be a useful life skill to have. Mom bought me like half a dozen cookbooks before we moved here 'cause she didn't want me poisoning you," Naruto chuckled as he flipped an omelette in the frying pan. "So, you've known how to cook all along but you've let me make breakfast and dinner this whole time," Sasuke huffed in annoyance and realised that the cookbooks were probably the suspicious looking stack of books he usually saw next to Naruto's bed."I love your cooking, how could I not let you cook?" Naruto turned around to wink at Sasuke mischievously.Sasuke held in a sharp breath at how excited a simple wink had him feeling. He fidgeted in the dining chair before standing up and taking two glasses out of an overhead cabinet. He poured orange juice into the glasses and began to neatly set the table for breakfast. Naruto gave him a grateful smile and continued with plating their breakfast, and soon the two were ready to feast. Lectures would start late today anyways, a fact that Sasuke had forgotten but Naruto had somehow managed to remember and remind him with. Everything about this morning felt so backward and odd, but as golden pieces of toast mixed with the perfect omelettes and sweet slices of strawberries, all of the weirdness melted away into a general feeling of contentment."I'm never cooking again," Sasuke spoke satisfied with the big breakfast.Naruto only groaned and gave him those puppy dog eyes again in protest. They managed to agree to Sasuke making breakfast and Naruto working on dinner, whenever their schedules allowed for it. The semester will ramp up sooner and later so these few moments of eating together were especially appreciated by either party.Naruto got up to do the dishes, ignoring Sasuke's pleas to let him do it instead, and asked Sasuke general questions of how everything was going so far.Sasuke could feel that he was purposefully avoiding bringing up any mention of what happened yesterday and it made Sasuke feel worse as that comfort and freedom they felt with one another was slowly diminishing. It was all Sasuke's fault that Naruto felt like he had to walk on eggshells around that incident and Sasuke couldn't imagine what to do to fix it. All he could think of as a solution would be to maintain that distance, it would be healthy for both him and Naruto, they could go on with their lives without feeling this obligation to always be attached at the hip.They finished getting ready to head back to campus and Sasuke realised that most of the sweatshirts that he had in his closet were the blond's. Naruto's signature wardrobe made up on warm hues mainly oranges of different tones, and a lot of jean material had made its way to Sasuke's closet. Either through intentional sharing or that strange osmosis of clothes travelling that happened between people who were very close.Sasuke shouldn't wear the sweatshirt, he knows he shouldn't yet he gravitates towards a muted orange sweatshirt with a silly fox embroidered on the back. Anyone who knew well enough would know that he'd never wear such a gaudy thing, but everyone who knew him also understood that whatever was Naruto's was Sasuke's and vice versa. With the emergence of Suigetsu, Sasuke held onto a small hope that things will change and he didn't dare to question whether loosening the strength of the bond he had with Naruto was right for him or not.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
His first lecture of the day had finally ended and Sasuke had barely paid attention. His lack of note-taking would come back to bite him in the ass later when he had to revise for each of his classes. The raven was currently slumped on the same bench that he and Suigetsu had sat on a few days ago. East Campus was beautiful, he had to hand it to his new friend, this side was filled with life and new faces that seemed happy to be at school. Sasuke had about three hours before his next block of lectures but he had nothing to do. He had Suigetsu's contact information, but he couldn't muster up the courage to send a text. Sasuke felt limp and lifeless, the morning had been so backward that it had infected the rest of his day. Plus, with the emergence of that horrible dream that felt way too real, his mind couldn't concentrate on much else. So, there he was, looking like a corpse in the middle of all the livelihood. "Woah dude, you look shitty," a familiar voice called out and Sasuke nearly jumped. It was Suigetsu, dressed in what looked like an athletic uniform, and with his hair gelled back. Sasuke had never seen him like this, the last two times had been with a messy mop of silver hair and a plain sweatpants and sweatshirt combo. But, Suigetsu looked put together and it made Sasuke feel sheepish about his disoriented self."So you're quiet today, huh?" He took a seat next to Sasuke on the bench and offered him a stick of gum.Sasuke took it with a quiet thank you but was confused as to what he meant."Today?" he questioned."Yeah, I never know how you're going to react to me. One day you're going to fight me, then the next you ask me to be your friend," Suigetsu cackled and Sasuke turned about 80 shades red.He wanted to make a ditch and then crawl in it, his half-assed attempts at making new friends have become the bane of his existence. "I appreciate it though, you're kind of strange but like, interesting too?" Suigetsu chewed the gum noisily, and waved hello at each person that passed by.It felt like he knew practically everyone, well, except for the people on the other side. Suigetsu spoke of the engineering buildings like they were some cursed space, but really, he just never had a reason to go to that side of campus except for their cafeteria. Sasuke balled up the foil wrapper of the gum and the image of kissing Naruto popped into his head again. The vision was haunting him and it felt like Suigetsu knew that something was up. He stared at Sasuke with those empty purple eyes and the raven thought of digging a ditch again. How was he supposed to explain these complex feelings to Suigetsu who probably would see him as a creep?"You busy later?" he casually asked and Sasuke told him about his three hours long break. Suigetsu broke into a big grin and without another word, grabbed Sasuke's hand and ran. Sasuke felt out of shape from how many long inhales of air he was taking as it felt like Suigetsu was dragging him to the ends of the world. "Hey! Where are we going?!" Sasuke called out breathlessly as Suigetsu refused to stop. Familiar campus buildings soon turned into office buildings, which then turned into smaller shops and parks. They were way outside of campus and were in an area that Sasuke couldn't pinpoint. Partially residential but mostly abandoned. The smaller shops were all closed, and the roads were quiet. Cars would occasionally pass through as they made their way down the street, but there wasn't a single other pedestrian except for the two of them.Their run had slowed to a brisk walk, but Suigetsu still hadn't let go of his hand. Sasuke tried to keep up with his pace, his eyes glued on their hands as the silver-haired man finally came to a broken chain-link fence."Mind telling me where we are now?" Sasuke asked, still trying to catch his breath. Suigetsu kept moving forward, his hand clutching Sasuke's tightly and he ducked underneath the opening to get to the other side of the fence. Sasuke crawled through, although struggling with only one hand free. The two of them were traversing through a dark alleyway and Sasuke felt his stomach churn at the thought that Suigetsu might be leading them somewhere dangerous."Suigetsu- come on, just tell me already! Where are we?!" Sasuke stammered, anxiously looking back down the alleyway at the waning light.But the silver-haired man kept going without another word and soon they were reached the end of the alleyway. Instead of another street awaiting them on the opposite side, a giant metallic door was there. Suigetsu finally let go and knocked on the towering obstacle thrice, and a slit opened where two seedy eyes regarded them. The door opened slowly and the harsh scent of tobacco hit Sasuke. Suigetsu turned and smiled confidently at Sasuke, grabbing his hand and promising him that he'll love this. What this was, Sasuke had no clue and the familiar churning of anxiety in the pit of his intestines began. However, it was only a few steps further and soon Sasuke was thrust into the most colourful world he had ever seen.Neon lights spasmed around the room they came to the edge of a cast-iron balcony that overlooked a club. It was like a scene out of a movie and there were bodies dancing wildly below."Welcome to Nebesa!" Suigetsu screamed over the loud techno music, his bright smile was infectious and Sasuke realised that he was smiling too. Suigetsu only grabbed his hand again as he walked them to a man dressed like a waiter. He whispered something in his ear and soon the stranger led them to a booth on the top floor. The seats were plush and the wall surrounding was decorated with velvet curtains. They had a great view of everyone dancing and Sasuke was handed a menu of things to eat or drink. It seemed like a posh place and the signification of not having any numbers on the menu scared him. "I-I don't think I can afford anything here!" he stuttered, he felt weird about admitting that he wasn't exactly the most financially well-off when compared to everyone else at the university. That was one of the things that comforted him about his relationship with Naruto. They both came from the same place and the same kind of family. They both knew what struggling looked and felt like, and he was afraid that Suigetsu would see him differently because of it. There was a shocked expression on Suigetsu's face before he broke out into a smile again. He scooted closer to Sasuke and patted him on the back."Silly! There's no prices in Nebesa, everything's free!" he laughed, and Sasuke felt even more confused than before.Nothing noted as "free" in life was ever really free. A price always came along sooner or later, and often, the price was heavier than a monetary transaction."I-I don't feel right about taking things for free," he stammered, moving closer to speak into Suigetsu's ear."Hey, don't feel bad! The funds actually come from everyone who runs this place. You have to know the right people to get in, so it's real exclusive, that's why everything's free! Not just anyone can get in- or find it, honest!" He explained to Sasuke, but what the raven was really concentrated on was the sensation of Suigetsu's warm breath puffing into his ear with every syllable. Sasuke had never been so physically close with anyone other than Naruto, and his family certainly didn't count. He was shoulder to shoulder with Suigetsu, and he could feel his nerves spiraling into chaos. "I... I just wanted to take you here because you never look happy whenever I see you. You looked bummed out today... I'm sorry for dragging you here, I can take you back to campus now," Suigetsu deflated where he sat, and Sasuke nearly jumped at him with apologies."N-no! This place... is different, not necessarily bad. I... I just have a lot on my mind," Sasuke's voice went quiet as he spoke of the latter.Suigetsu sat up again, his expression showed that he didn't believe that Sasuke liked Nebesa but he didn't push for confirmation. Instead, he called out to another waiter and ordered two drinks for them. "What did you order?" Sasuke watched as the other man neatly piled the menus together to hand off to another passing waiter."Something simple. It's called Daydream, it's a tea-infused vodka with elderflower syrup. I sort of guessed that you might something light and flowery, but I probably guessed wrong, hm?" Suigetsu offered an apologetic smile and stared at the dancefloor, his eyes looked drained of that previous light.But Sasuke couldn't piece together what he felt at that moment. Somehow, this man he had randomly friended as a means to get away from his childhood best friend had managed to guess his tastes right and had even brought him to such an exclusive club just to raise his spirits. "...you're incredible, Sui," the nickname rolled off his tongue effortlessly and Sasuke clasped his hand over his mouth in shock.Suigetsu looked equally astounded but began to laugh loudly again."Sui?! Hey man, only my big sister calls me that!" with a raucous laugh, he patted Sasuke's back again."Fine, I'll make an exception for you," he teased and looked back out onto the dancefloor, this time his eyes were shining bright like before. Sasuke sat there, stunned and silent. Not only had he just used a nickname, he felt like he had entered a new realm of trust and friendship with Suigetsu. They sat beside each other comfortably, and Suigetsu didn't return back to the opposite side of the table. People were moving frantically to the beat of the techno music that slowly transitioned to house music. Bodies were bumping into one another but there was nothing strange or random about it, rather it felt sensual. Sasuke felt like a voyeur sneaking glances into this private circle of strangers that seemed to live in a world so far from his own. In a way, he felt envious about their ability to sway so freely. A waiter soon arrived with a silver tray and elegantly placed two of the same drink before them. Suigetsu picked his up and clinked it against Sasuke's, he cheered and Sasuke quietly laughed at how quickly Suigetsu gulped down the drink. They stayed up on the balcony until Sasuke finished drinking. The drink had a slight bitter aftertaste, but the overall tones were quite pleasant and floral. He leaned over to Suigetsu and told him of his review, the other man simply smiled proudly at his recommendation. "Wanna go down there and dance?" Suigetsu asked after spectating for a while."Huh? Like you and me? Dance?" Sasuke asked confused, he's never danced, not even as a child. It was one of those activities that seemed too awkward for anyone, including himself, to see him do. The thought of his body trying to sway like the people below only made him feel equal parts humiliated and a future sense of frustration when he realises that he'll get the moves all wrong."Well yeah, dummy, who else? Come with me," Suigetsu stood up abruptly and held out his hand. Sasuke felt like he had a choice but at the same time none. If he refused Suigetsu now, then he'd just ruin the pleasant mood they've kept up till now, right? Not wanting to break this magical spell of being far away from him and his regular life, he took Suigetsu's hand and they rushed down the steps to the dancefloor.Seeing everyone up-close was far different from the spectating and Sasuke felt that flurry of nerves again. It felt like people were staring although realistically, no one cared. He felt like their eyes were staring holes through him as Suigetsu weaved them through the crowd. The pair finally made it to the centre of the dancefloor, and Sasuke watched in awe as Suigetsu began to slowly sway to match the beat. He felt lackluster in comparison when Suigetsu began to blend-in seamlessly with the crowd, and everything within Sasuke screamed at him to turn around and leave. "Having trouble?" Sasuke barely made out the words through lipreading, but he nodded frantically. The walls of people felt like they were closing in on him as a punishment for not being the right type of guy to party with them. But, then he felt hands on his hips and he looked down to see that Suigetsu had placed them there.He looked up at the silver-haired man confused, but Suigetsu smiled at him with a knowing look. He moved closer to Sasuke, bending to his ear to talk."Don't be scared, I got you bro," he spoke ecstatically, and began moving to the beat again.This time, however, with his hands on Sasuke's hips. The moving began to rock Sasuke back and forth, and the raven realised that he was matching the beat as well. Suigetsu was guiding him and doing a good job that the people didn't feel like suffocating walls, they felt like regular bodies bumping against him. Sasuke smiled, for what felt like after the longest time, a genuine grin. He felt free of that constricting shell of himself that felt too uppity to leave his quarters of the architecture and engineering buildings, yet also too anxious to meet anyone new. Here he was, dancing with Suigetsu, whose hands had found purchase on his hips. They were swaying effortlessly, and as the beat picked up, Sasuke grew scared that Suigetsu could let go at any moment and placed his pale hands over top of the other man's. Suigetsu mouthed 'you ok?", and Sasuke nodded excitedly. It felt right to be here. He didn't mind missing those lectures if he could live in this new bubble of confidence for just a few moments more. They danced and danced for what only felt like a few minutes, but Suigetsu let go of one of his hands to grab his phone from his back pocket. Sasuke felt strange about the slight sense of disappointment but soon he saw the time on the phone. More than three hours had flown by since they left campus, and it would get dark soon as fall was steadily turning into winter. Suigetsu led them off the dancefloor and slowly they made their way back to the empty street. The sun was setting, and Suigetsu's hand felt comfortable in Sasuke's. They didn't say much as they slowly walked back to campus but upon nearing the campus gates, Sasuke shrugged Suigetsu's hand off and marched forward. He turned around for a second, ignoring a flash of something on the other man's face and bowed politely."Thanks for taking me there," he spoke, trying his best to keep his face as serene as possible. "Yeah, of course... just, send me a text if you ever wanna go back there," Suigetsu flashed that grin of his again, and turned to go to the east side.Sasuke stood there, watching the retreating figure of Suigetsu's back, and when he was gone, Sasuke finally decided to leave for the apartment too.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
It was close to 8 p.m. when Sasuke finally opened the front door of the apartment. Cracking it open slowly, he realised that for the first time he hadn't gone home with Naruto. The entry hall was empty and it seemed like the lights weren't on in the living room. Breathing out a sigh of relief, he slowly removed his shoes and made it into the kitchen.Pulling out a glass to have some water, Sasuke thought about his adventure at the club with Suigetsu. His phone buzzed and he looked down to see a message from him.
Suigetsu
8:03 p.m.
had fun tdy, do it again sumtime? ＼(^^)／
Sasuke's mouth naturally stretched to a grin as he typed out his response.
Sasuke
8:04 p.m.
Yes, I look forward to it. :)
Only after sending the text did Sasuke truly notice how empty the apartment felt. Naruto's lecture should've ended a while ago, but after a quick knock at his bedroom door, Sasuke realised that he was the only one in the apartment.He called the blond and only got his voicemail twice. Fearing that something might have happened to Naruto, who was usually punctual when leaving school, he sent him a dozen messages. That's when it dawned on Sasuke that if something had happened to Naruto, he would have no way of knowing or being notified of it. Sasuke had no connection to Naruto at school and this was troubling him.'In the case of an emergency', he gave himself the excuse. But, he could feel his old self that still very much crushed on Naruto was creeping back.Calling him once again, Sasuke patiently waited as he heard each ring and then someone answered."Hello?" It was a feminine voice and what sounded like techno music in the background."Naruto?" Sasuke asked, but he had a feeling that this wasn't his best friend."He's busy right now, you're Sasuke, right?" The voice spoke indignantly of him."Yes..." "Yeah, don't bother waiting up for him. We're out drinking right now," Before Sasuke could ask further questions, the call cut and he was alone, standing under the dim light of the kitchen.But isn't this what he wanted? To be separate from Naruto? To wish him the best in his new life that had new people, new places to go and things to experience? That's what Sasuke wanted for himself too... but, the loneliness was killing him. The apartment was so silent, it was never this quiet before and he didn't feel ok staying here. Sasuke took a shower, trying to go through his usual routine but coming back out to an empty living room felt weird. Usually, Naruto would be splayed out on the couch, watching sports T.V while snacking on something. The raven marched to his bedroom, trying to ignore the memory and was shocked by how empty his bedroom looked. Compared to Nebesa, brimming with life and colour, Sasuke's bedroom was so bland. Just a bed, a desk and a chair. There was his bookshelf too but it only had his textbooks. Who was Sasuke within this house? The thought gnawed at him. He wanted to be free and happy, the type of hedonist who only brimmed with personality. But the real Sasuke felt burdened by everything and didn't even make the effort to hang up a poster in his room.Sasuke felt strange, looking back on his time on the dance floor... who was that? Dancing with Suigetsu so freely? Was he pretending? Did he actually enjoy it? Sasuke's head was hurting and he felt scared, for once in his life he could admit it, he didn't know what or who he was without Naruto around. He felt pathetic.Hesitantly pulling out his phone again, he rang a number."Sasuke?" The voice called out."....Sui," Sasuke whispered."Hey, what's wrong? You ok?" He could hear the sound of something creaking and he imagined Suigetsu sitting up to listen to him."I-I... sorry, I don't know why I called..." Sasuke felt foolish."Hey- no, it's ok, it's fine. I can listen to you if you want to talk?" Suigetsu's voice was so calm and leveled that it was soothing Sasuke."I feel scared to be alone in this apartment..." Sasuke thought he sounded like a child, and the helplessness of his voice made him cringe."Scared? Is something bothering you?""N-no... it's just..." Sasuke sighed frustrated, unable to come up with the words to describe what was happening."...you want me to come over?" Suigetsu asked softly, it felt like his mouth was right next to Sasuke's ear.He shivered a bit and nodded his head, only to realise that Suigetsu didn't hear his confirmation. "Yes... if you could," Sasuke coyly responded and let Suigetsu know where he lived.About 20 minutes later, there was a knock on the door and Sasuke opened it to reveal Suigetsu holding a small pack of beer."Hey, how're you feeling now?" his gentle smile made Sasuke feel something he couldn't quite describe. "I feel... ok," he led the other man to the living room where they sat around the small coffee table."Nice apartment, I like the decor," Suigetsu looked around and smiled."Oh... thanks, Naruto picked most of it out," he mumbled the anecdote to himself."Naruto? Oh, that blond guy! Your childhood friend right?" Sasuke nodded his head slowly, his thoughts returning to how empty the apartment was.Suigetsu didn't push any questions to ask about Naruto's whereabouts and casually opened the beer pack to hand Sasuke a can.They drank in relative silence until Suigetsu brought up the club."I'm glad you had fun today at Nebesa," he smiled at Sasuke, and the raven thought it was sweet how Suigetsu's eyes scrunched up with his smile. "I've never been to a club before, and I've never danced in front of so many people either," Sasuke took a big gulp of beer. The drink made him feel warm and fuzzy, and those feelings became synonymous with the confidence he felt dancing."Well, I thought you were a great dancer," Suigetsu slightly slurred his words, being on his third can. "Really?" Sasuke scooted closer."Yeah... really," Suigetsu's violet eyes were only a few centimeters away from Sasuke's face.Realising that he had come too close, Sasuke tried to back off but stopped when he felt Suigetsu's hand on top of his."...you don't have to move away," he mumbled and Sasuke nodded his head. The two moved slightly to lean against the sofa while they sat on the floor. Their shoulders were touching and then Suigetsu's arm moved up and hooked over Sasuke's back. He liked Suigetsu's smell, it was slightly sweet and yet with a strong overtone of peppermint. "You smell like toothpaste," Sasuke chuckled and watched Suigetsu turn red."Um, well I rushed to brush my teeth before seeing you and I spilled the paste..." they both laughed together. Sasuke turned and finally noticed how close their faces were, it was strange that he hadn't noticed how long Suigetsu's eyelashes were.The silver-haired man looked at him and they found themselves silently observing one another. Then Suigetsu's hand reached up to cup Sasuke's face, and he lightly brushed his fingers on the pale skin."Really soft," he muttered and Sasuke smiled.But, Suigetsu let go and moved back to their old position. Sasuke felt disappointed, and maybe it was the confidence of the two beer cans he had chugged, but he spoke up on his disappointment."That's it?" He turned to look at Suigetsu again who looked shocked by his question."...you want more?" He gulped and Sasuke nodded.Suigetsu turned to face him again and cupped his face, this time his thumb gently pressed on Sasuke's bottom lip. He slowly inched forward and placed a chaste kiss there.Inching back, he looked at Sasuke intently to see any hint of rejection but the raven only smiled. Then it became a whirlwind of passion as Suigetsu's lips crashed against Sasuke's.This was Sasuke's first kiss and he found himself slowly forgetting about Naruto's absence with each smooch. "Open your mouth," Suigetsu's voice sounded rough and desperate, and Sasuke parted his lips slightly.That's when he felt the warmth of Suigetsu's minty tongue, that also strongly tasted of beer, wrestle against his own. Sasuke had only seen this type of a kiss on film and he wondered what he was supposed to do."Just suck on my tongue, like that..." Suigetsu whispered the instruction to him and Sasuke softly sucked on it.Even though he'd never admit it, Suigetsu tasted good mixing with his own tongue. There was something about how carefully the other man treated him that had Sasuke wanting more."Yeah, like that, good boy," the compliment went right down his spine and he shivered into Suigetsu's arms. They made out on the floor for a while before Sasuke felt Suigetsu wrap one arm over his waist and hoisted him onto his lap. Sasuke rocked against the other man as they continued kissing passionately, and his hands traveled frantically all over Suigetsu.Suigetsu's hands were cupping Sasuke's ass, gripping onto the flesh and kneading it as they made out. Soon, Sasuke's hands traveled downwards and felt something hard underneath the fabric of the other man's jeans. Letting go of the kiss to press his forehead against Suigetsu's, Sasuke chuckled."Someone's excited," he teased."How can I not be?" The hunger that laced Suigetsu's words had Sasuke blushing. He couldn't believe this was real, that he was seated on his lap and that they'd been making out for what felt like hours."Touch me," Suigetsu's words sounded both like a request and a command. Sasuke slowly unzipped the jeans, and touched the outline of his hardened cock over the fabric of his boxers."...it's huge," He whispered, shocked and somewhat scared.At the height of Sasuke's unforgiveable horniness for Naruto, his teen self had researched how gay sex worked. Sasuke knew the basics of it, but he also knew that bottoming sounded like the biggest chore on the planet. "If you're scared, baby, I can bottom," Suigetsu smiled kindly up at Sasuke, and the raven felt that warm shiver again."Really?" "Yeah," Sasuke crashed their lips together as he released Suigetsu's leaking cock from the cage of his boxers. Taking out his own aching cock from underneath his sweatpants, he rubbed the two muscles together between his hands. They were moaning into the kisses as Sasuke pumped up and down. Feeling a bit mischievous, Sasuke rubbed his tongue on Suigetsu's slit and felt the reverberations of a deep moan into his mouth. He pushed Suigetsu back to lean against the sofa as he enjoyed how wrecked he looked. Sasuke had pushed Suigetsu's tight t-shirt up to reveal his huge pecs, his dark pink nipples glistening from the sweat of his chest.He continued to press his tongue onto the raging pink slit as he pumped their cocks in his hand. Suigetsu came with a loud moan, the cum flying to land on both his and Sasuke's abdomens.Removing Suigetsu's shirt and his own, Sasuke maneuvered themselves into his bedroom while making out again. Suigetsu sounded raspy and broken down, and that only incited Sasuke to do more. But, as they lay down on Sasuke's twin sized bed, with hardly any space for them, Suigetsu's eyes began to flutter to a close. Sasuke stopped sucking on his nipple to notice that the man was fast asleep, and with a smile and sigh, threw the covers over both of them.As he lay there, studying the features of Suigetsu's face, Sasuke found himself feeling fond of the man's presence. No one had ever kissed Sasuke or even expressed interest in him like that. But, here was Suigetsu, who was even willing to bottom for him. The thoughts of the silver-haired man bouncing on Sasuke's cock was thrilling but he had to sleep now. So, willing the thoughts away, and with a hand wrapped over Suigetsu's waist, they fell asleep side by side.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Sasuke woke up to the soft touch of someone caressing his head. Opening his eyes with some struggle, his vision focused on a pair of beautiful violet eyes that crinkled as the face smiled. That's when the memories of yesterday came flooding in, and Sasuke nearly jolted out of his tiny twin sized mattress. "Mm, morning sleepyhead," Suigetsu mumbled with a lop-sided smile. "M-morning," Sasuke stammered, unsure of where to look as Suigetsu's plump chest was revealed."You're acting like I'm going to eat you up right this second," he giggled.That relieved the tension, somewhat, and Sasuke lazily threw his arm over Sui's waist to regain some blood circulation.Suigetsu's body was beautiful, he couldn't deny that, and with his pale skin complimenting the light blue bedsheets and the golden rays of morning sun, Sasuke thought he looked beautiful.Something inside him stirred and he moved closer to press a kiss against Sui's lips. They were thinner than Naruto's, Sasuke thought to himself as he nibbled on the bottom lip. Suigetsu rolled over to hold himself up on his elbows as Sasuke enveloped him in his arms. His hands traveled down the toned back muscles to lightly knead at soft ass."So soft," Sasuke moaned into the kiss and Sui giggled."Is it? I thought it was all hard from the muscle," he laid his head down on Sasuke's chest.They lay in each other's arms for a while as Sasuke felt himself hardening from the contact. Suigetsu sat up slightly to look down at Sasuke's raging erection and smirked knowingly at the raven."Oh, so very excited this morning, Mr. Uchiha," he playfully teased.Shuffling down to get under the covers and face to face with Sasuke's clothed cock, the view looked impeccable.Sasuke had to bite back a moan from how hot Suigetsu looked acting all hungry for dick. Maybe this was the partner Sasuke wanted, maybe meeting Suigetsu was the exit that Sasuke needed to do more in life.Suigetsu shuffled Sasuke's briefs down and released his cock, the weeping muscle slapping him on the cheek. The look in his violet eyes was animalistic, and his following actions were too. Gripping the base of the cock, Suigetsu began pumping slowly and licking a stripe from the base to the tip. "Tastes so good," he mumbled to himself, and brings Sasuke's hand to touch the back of his head."Teach me what you like?" His last words, with a mischievous wink, before Suigetsu pushes half of Sasuke's cock into his throat. He bobs up and down as Sasuke grips his hair for control, leading the silver-haired man deeper and deeper with each thrust.Sasuke felt sadistic as he watched the tears stream down Suigetsu's pale cheeks, and watch his spit drool from the corners of his pink lips."Mm, suck on it like that baby," Sasuke groaned, pushing him to deepthroat more. He felt like he'd orgasm soon so he pushed Suigetsu's mouth down further as he bucked against the warm envelope. "Gonna cum, you're so good, fuck-" Sasuke came, keeping Suigetsu's head down to swallow every last bit of his cum. He finally let go after his high was over, allowing the other man to come up for air. Sasuke's cum was painted on his pink lips, and his eyelashes were wet with tears. That was Sasuke's first time receiving a blowjob, he had given his first blowjob, sort of, and handjob yesterday. Things were moving fast, and yet, not fast enough, Sasuke thought to himself.He pulled Suigetsu onto his lap as he sucked at the soft skin around his neck and chest. Suigetsu only moaned, lightly rutting against soft cock while boasting a huge erection himself. Sasuke was sucking on that plump chest when Suigetsu mentioned something that made him stop completely."Oh, by the way, I'm pretty sure your roommate came back home to check up on you," he moaned softly into Sasuke's ear."What?! What did you say?!?" He stopped the kisses to look up at Suigetsu."Uh- that blond roommate of yours? Weren't you worried that he wasn't home? He came in earlier this morning to check on you," Suigetsu looked confused."When was this?" Sasuke could hear the violent beating of his heart in his eardrums. "Early today... why? What's wrong, baby?" Suigetsu cooed, trying to lean in for another kiss. Sasuke stopped him with a push to the chest and got up, rushing to throw on his pants and a shirt. They're his clothes from yesterday but did it really matter? Naruto might have just seen something that Sasuke did not feel ready enough to explain."Hey? What's wrong?" Suigetsu looked worried, sitting at the edge of the bed wearing nothing. Sasuke didn't know what to do. He had to kick out Suigetsu. "Get your clothes on. You have to leave." Suigetsu looked confused, and most of all, hurt. He picked up his jeans, lying haphazardly on the floor, and wordlessly dressed himself up. Sasuke creaked open his bedroom door slightly and spotted Naruto watching something on the T.V. Shit. He's still home. Sasuke led Suigetsu out down the hallway and was close to the entrance, when Naruto called out to them from the sofa."Oh, morning guys," his usual rasp was there but so was a hint of worry. Actually, it sounded like agitation and Sasuke paled at the fact that Naruto might know something.The blond walked over to where the pair stood, still dressed in an old t-shirt and shorts. "Not staying for breakfast?" He asked with a small smile, and before Suigetsu could speak, Sasuke answered for him."No! I mean, no, he's not hungry. Right? Ok, um, well, bye," Sasuke stammered, unsure on whether to look at Naruto or Suigetsu.The latter looked disappointed, more in Sasuke than in Naruto's offer, but to Sasuke it felt like perhaps the silver-haired man was mad at the lack of hospitality. Opening their front door and leading Suigetsu out, Sasuke closed it just as fast and faced the blond. "I'll make breakfast for today," Sasuke rushed to the kitchen, preparing something, anything to keep his mind off things.But, Naruto sat at the kitchen table and watched Sasuke's back. "Who is that?" The blond asked, and Sasuke froze. "Just a friend," he muttered.There was another period of silence as Sasuke broke eggs into the frying pan and tried to find the salt."I've never seen him before," Naruto spoke again."You did... at the fight," Sasuke cringed at the memory.Naruto didn't say anything and peeking at his expression, Sasuke realised that the blond perhaps didn't see the fight as a big deal. 'Of course he wouldn't, with all those friends, I wouldn't remember it either,' Sasuke thought to himself. Somewhat jealous that Naruto had forgotten one of the bigger incidents to happen in Sasuke's life, while Sasuke remembered everything of Naruto's. Well, now the playing field was a little more even. Naruto doesn't seem to know what happened in the bedroom."I didn't know you were so close with him," he mumbled, and Sasuke swore he heard the agitation in his voice."We're good friends, he slept over last night," A step up from his admission of 'just friends'. Peeking back at Naruto, Sasuke could feel the agitation from just the sound of his bouncing leg. His slipper tapping against the tiled floor. "You guys drank too, I had to clean up the cans," Naruto got up, grabbing things to set the table."Oh, sorry about that," Sasuke was enjoying each reaction. As they sat down to eat breakfast, Sasuke realised that Naruto wasn't eating. He merely sat there, staring at his plate. "Why were you guys not wearing clothes in bed?" Naruto looked up at him, disgruntled.Sasuke just wanted the Earth to swallow him whole.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
"Why were you guys not wearing clothes in bed?" Naruto looked up at him, disgruntled.Sasuke nearly dropped his fork on the plate as his brain scrambled for something that didn't sound like he was trying to fuck Suigetsu. "It was hot last night... y'know, after all the drinking, I guess we must have thrown our clothes off subconsciously," he avoided the blond's gaze. It was silent and Sasuke comforted himself with his half-lie. It was hot after drinking, just hot enough to prompt making out and blowjobs. Typical friendly activities, and Naruto had no reason to know that many details anyways. "Must've drank a lot to remove your clothes," Naruto mumbled, playing with the food on his plate.Sasuke only nodded his head, finally looking up at the blond and noticing his dark circles."Well, you look worse for wear too-""You never do that with me," Naruto interjected, interrupting Sasuke suddenly.The raven put down his fork slowly, maintaining steady eye contact with Naruto as he tried to understand what was happening."Never do what?" He swallowed."You never drink with me, never sleep next to me... but you do all that with a guy you just met?" Naruto grimaced, his grip tightening around his spoon.Sasuke slumped in his chair slightly as he thought about it. It's true that he's never drank with Naruto, his fear that he'd accidentally confess under the influence of half a beer can prevented it. Furthermore, how could he possibly sleep next to him too? Laying next to each other, under the same bedsheet, the temptation was too much. Sasuke would regret it, and it would be the end of their lifelong friendship."Suigetsu and I just... clicked?" He sounded unsure of himself but hoped that Naruto didn't notice. Instead, it seemed his response only made the blond angrier. He got up, the dining chair scraping behind him as he left the plate in the sink."What's wrong, Naruto?" Sasuke got up after him, following the blond down the hall towards his room."I- I'm sorry, just... give me a second," that's all Naruto said before slamming his bedroom door in Sasuke's face. What Sasuke didn't expect was this one outburst turned into a week of Naruto going out his way to avoid Sasuke.He wasn't hungry for breakfast anymore, which was a blatant lie given the blond's growling stomach. He couldn't walk with Sasuke to campus in the morning because something came up. All of these excuses were eating away at Sasuke, and in this week of Naruto's absence, Sasuke had also forgotten Suigetsu. Now here he was, alone in their apartment and it was the second week of avoidance. He was becoming sick and tired of it, no longer knowing what to do.So, Sasuke called the only person he felt could help him make sense of his situation.The line rang for what felt like forever before a soft voice called out from the other side."Little brother?" Itachi's voice spoke calmly. "Itachi... can we talk?" Sasuke spoke quietly, keeping an ear out for Naruto coming back home."I can't talk right now... if possible, would you like to meet tomorrow at a cafe? I'm quite busy right now," Itachi mumbled into the phone, and Sasuke imagined that he must've called in the middle of a business meeting.He agreed to the plan and set down the phone. Another day of trying to survive Naruto's new icy demeanor. But, from the looks of things, it seemed the blond wasn't coming home today, again. Sasuke let out a deep sigh and retired to his bedroom. How can he fix his issue when he wasn't even sure how Naruto viewed the problem to begin with? As he lay in bed that night, Sasuke finally noticed how disconnected he felt from Naruto. For the first time, Sasuke had become invested in someone else and lied to Naruto. But it's not like he could just come out and tell the blond he was gay. That would be too much. Naruto didn't return home last night, after all, and as Sasuke waited inside the café, his thoughts drifted to Suigetsu.Sweet Suigetsu who was kicked out without another word. He probably hated Sasuke now and the thought of that made him slump further on the plush seat. "Don't you know that's bad posture, Sasuke?" His older brother's warm voice called out and Sasuke turned with a smile. Seeing Itachi was so much better than just talking over the phone. Sasuke had felt this way since he was a toddler. His older brother's presence just had a way of making him feel safe.Itachi took the seat opposite to him, draping his suit jacket on the back of the chair and setting his phone down on the table. "So? What's wrong?" He smiled kindly.A waitress came by to get their orders, just a simple coffee for the both of them. "I think I've made Naruto mad at me... but, I'm unsure why he's mad," Sasuke confessed, wringing his hands. Itachi's expression deadpanned and he crossed his arms."Ah right, Naruto... what happened, Sasuke?" His brother asked coolly and Sasuke felt sweat forming on his back."I... I don't know. I invited a friend over for drinks, and he stayed the night. When we woke up, he left and it was just me and Naruto, he didn't seem happy about the hangout," Sasuke rambled, trying to make sense of where things went wrong.Itachi had a bright smile on the other hand."Oh my beloved little brother!! You finally made a new friend besides Naruto!" Itachi beamed, Sasuke had never seen him smile so widely."Uh right... it's just, I want to understand how to make up with Naruto-""You know Sasuke, sometimes the people we believe support us, don't support us at all. Naruto might be jealous that you're finally meeting other people," Itachi huffed, nodding his head and agreeing with his own point.But, it didn't make sense to Sasuke. Naruto had no reason to be jealous of Suigetsu, they weren't as close as he was with Naruto. Something wasn't adding up."But, don't you think it's weird that he's mad?" Sasuke pressed and Itachi's face contorted into something less than fury. "You don't understand Sasuke! They'll tell you they love you today, that they want to protect their relationship with you and then they throw it all to the wind tomorrow!" Itachi grumbled.It was like his older brother was talking in riddles. But, something clicked."Are you... talking about yourself and Shisui?" Sasuke mumbled, hoping that he was wrong but the blush on his brother's face was a great indication of something different."Why?! Did he talk to you?!" Itachi nearly jumped at the raven, and Sasuke found himself scrambling back in his seat."W-what?! I thought you guys met every once in a while," It felt like that sentence was a hidden trigger because there was his, usually, calm older brother silently crying.The tears ran down his face as Itachi tried to smudge them away with handfuls of napkins. People were beginning to stare and Sasuke begged his brother to stop. It took a while but Itachi finally calmed down. His breath was still quivering and his gaze was glassy, but he was no longer wracking his body with sobs. Taking a moment before asking, Sasuke tried to think of the right words to say. "I haven't talked to Shisui, big brother, I don't think anyone has..." Sasuke lightly patted Itachi's hand. Itachi nodded his head, his long eyelashes looked like an extension of his tears right now. Sasuke's heart ached as he looked at the sight of his older brother.Itachi opened his mouth, ready to say something but shut it again. His lip quivered, and the tears brimmed again."I... I love Shisui, Sasuke," Itachi mumbled, pressing his hand against his eyes. The chatter of the other patrons, the clinking of silverware, all of that noise faded away as Sasuke sat with those words. To his knowledge, Itachi was engaged to some woman from his workplace. Sasuke had met her twice before. To his little knowledge, to his blurry memories, Itachi had hated Shisui. But what is this? He loves him. Like he loves Sasuke? Or the way Sasuke loves Naruto? "W-what do you mean?" Sasuke stammered, moving his brother's hand down to keep eye contact. "...I'm not gay, it's just- he was my everything," Itachi's voice warbled as a new stream of tears flowed down his cheeks.That at least meant his brother was bisexual. Did it? Sasuke was unsure. This new set of developments to the plot that was his life gave him an out of body experience. A single memory came out of the haze to Sasuke. A distant one that felt like it was purposely buried for some reason.Sasuke was eight years old and playing in the backyard. Naruto had gone on a trip with his parents to the countryside to meet relatives and his mother was out grocery shopping. Itachi would be home at any moment so the child bided his time outside while waiting for his older brother.There's no one Sasuke loved more than Itachi and Naruto, he thought to himself. He was asked to write about his favourite people at school today, and had written both of their names.His teacher had asked him to pick one but it felt impossible for the little Sasuke. How could he choose one over the other.That's when he heard the front door click, and he raced into the house and down the hall. For a split second, he saw it.Itachi pushing Shisui against the wall and kissing him the way the people in the movies do. He didn't know what to do, so he stood there silently. Shisui noticed him first, followed by a little gasp and then Itachi was picking Sasuke up in his arms. It was a really hot summer's day, and Itachi sat with Sasuke on his lap. Shisui kneeled next to him, pouring something refreshing into three glasses.Sasuke gulped the drink down but his gaze never wavered from where his brother's arm was looped around Shisui's waist. "I'm sorry Sasuke... I'm sorry, you must be so disappointed in me," Itachi mumbled, his words clashing against one another.Sasuke held onto Itachi's hand as he sat with that memory. The two of them had been in love, after all. Sasuke didn't know why Itachi was mad at Shisui back then, he didn't want to figure it out either. The words simply came out of his mouth in the moment."I'm gay, big brother," he spoke, more clearly than ever before.Itachi looked stunned for a moment, his eyes darting from Sasuke's face to the table. He slowly nodded his head, letting out a deep sigh. He didn't say anything, Itachi just brought his little brother into his arms for a tight hug.It felt like that summer day again. When all those difficult things remained unspoken, when opinions didn't matter and Sasuke was just a little boy in Itachi's eyes.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Meeting with his older brother had only left him with more questions than answers, well, he certainly had a few answers on what Itachi's current relationship with their cousin was. As he strolled down the sidewalk, his mind drifted back to his childhood with Naruto. Four seasons and nearly thirteen years of friendship, could it be that no one really knew how he felt about Naruto? Shisui's relationship with Itachi was a buried memory that only resurfaced after so many years had passed, if Sasuke's secret remained buried, would no one find out?He shook his head, his thoughts felt heavy and he didn't feel like going home. It wasn't like Naruto would be there anyways, there was no hope of having a conversation right now. Sasuke desperately wanted to understand how his business with Suigetsu could possibly affect the blond. Often times, Sasuke felt like he stood at the edge of the public image Naruto had built for himself. He was the cool-headed childhood friend who was slightly removed from the rest of society, and Naruto played the dopey blond who was kind of charming once you got to know him. His newfound success as a college heartthrob only further emphasised the edge of that circle, and Sasuke couldn't understand why the spotlight had suddenly shifted to him. He never asked Naruto about his rendezvous with random women, hell, Sasuke didn't even know if he was a casual or serious relationship type of guy. 'He would totally be serious, maybe too serious about dating...' He held back his smile as he imagined Naruto with a bouquet of flowers and neatly-pressed tuxedo, all of it just to ask someone out. That someone would never be him. It was becoming dark, and he had somehow found himself back on campus. It was the East side, the supposed "fun" side, but he felt less than enthralled to be here. Finding the bench with a view opposite to one of the larger playing fields on campus, Sasuke sprawled himself out and stared at the orange sky. The sun was setting and he would have to make a decision soon on what he was going to do regarding this issue with Naruto. "God, look who it is," a familiar voice called out, and he turned around to see Suigetsu standing there.Dressed in what looked like his uniform before and with a duffle bag hanging from his shoulder, the silver-haired man looked like he'd just stepped out of a rough game of rugby."Your nose is bleeding," Sasuke pointed out, chuckling at how quickly the other man wiped his upper lip."Stupid teammate knee'd me in the face during practise," Suigetsu gave a lopsided smile. He maintained his distance, Sasuke noticed, and looked ready to leave the conversation at any moment. The man standing in front of him right now had triggered one of the biggest fights he'd ever had with Naruto, and Sasuke was in awe that such a chance encounter with Suigetsu would lead him to question his lifelong best friend."You should sit down, you probably feel dizzy," the words had come out before Sasuke could verify that's what he really wanted.Suigetsu looked unsure of Sasuke, continuing to stand still and awkwardly stare at him."Who made you a doctor? I thought you were supposed to be an architect or something..." he chuckled although his eyes rushed to look at anything else."You remembered," Sasuke smiled and moved to leave space on the bench.Suigetsu slowly set his bag down next to the bench, and cautiously took a seat next to Sasuke. He really reminded the raven of a cat ready to jump off and leave at anytime, and something instinctually wanted him to make Suigetsu stay."About what happened at my apartment-" "-don't worry about it," Suigetsu interrupted, still avoiding eye contact.Sasuke felt stifled, it was obvious this was a touchy subject and he had unknowingly hurt two people at the same time. This was his only opportunity to fix things with Suigetsu and he was going to give a damn good try."No, I want to apologise. I invited you over, I kissed you, I- Sui, I'm sorry for kicking you out like that," Sasuke tried to sound as sure of himself as possible, even the slightest hint of hesitation could have Suigetsu running off.He didn't speak for a while, the two of them sat on the bench in silence as Sasuke contemplated what he would do if his only friend, and potential love interest, decides to end everything between them."I know you like him, not me," Suigetsu spoke softly, turning slowly to face Sasuke.He propped one knee on the bench, and rested his head in his hand as he gave the raven a small smile. An all-knowing smile.Sasuke didn't know where to begin, he couldn't give an excuse either and so he sat there, shocked. "It's ok... I had a feeling from how you reacted to the news that he saw us in bed," there was a faint touch of melancholy in those violet eyes, and Sasuke reached out to hold Suigetsu's cheek without a second thought. Suigetsu leaned into his touch, kissed Sasuke's palm gently before pulling away."I... no, we, shouldn't do this, Sasuke. Especially not when you have feelings for someone else," he turned to pick up his bag but Sasuke held him in place, his hands gripping Suigetsu's hips.He softly gasped as his eyes looked down to see Sasuke holding him down so firmly, and he looked up to see the pure desperation on the raven's face."...please don't go, I... I don't know how to explain things but, I swear to you Sui, there is an explanation," Sasuke felt how far away his voice sounded in the moment and worried that maybe everything was over.Suigetsu sat down again, even though Sasuke didn't loosen his hold, and simply nodded his head. Sasuke let out a deep sigh, his thumbs circling the soft fabric of Sui's shirt, and pulled the other man toward him.He was hugging Suigetsu, tightly at that, and even more, in public. Sure, no one was around and it was practically dark, but this was a big step for Sasuke and he felt somewhat accomplished with the strides he'd been taking lately."You have to promise to explain it to me soon, ok?" Suigetsu inched back to make eye contact with Sasuke, who nodded in response."I know, baby, I will," Sasuke cooed, leaning in to press his forehead against Sui's."I know you're horny when you call me baby," he giggled.It was such a beautiful sound, he thought to himself, as he took in the shine of Suigetsu's eyes and the way a small dimple appeared whenever he smiled. Maybe Sasuke's destiny wasn't with Naruto after all, maybe they weren't meant for the all too common trope of childhood friends who magically turn into lovers. Just maybe, he and Naruto had grown up to be very different people who didn't understand each other anymore. "You going back to your apartment?" Suigetsu asked, still held in Sasuke's arms."Trying to avoid it, actually," Sasuke sighed as he remembered the impending mess waiting for him to clean up some day."Great, let's go to my place," Suigetsu got up, grabbing Sasuke's hand and leading them to his apartment. From the second-floor window of the cultural centre was a certain pink-haired lady who had just taken a photo of their touching moment."I always knew you were a freak, Sasuke..." she saved the photo on her phone, her emerald eyes shining in the blue light of the screen.Suigetsu's apartment was only a block away from the alley where Nebesa was located, and Sasuke thought of the club being a great excuse to ask Suigetsu out on a date. What better way to get to know a probably romantic partner than in a dark, loud club filled with strangers? Right?Sasuke's hand was on Suigetsu's lower back as the man led them up two flights of stairs in a dingy apartment building that Sasuke would call less than safe. He couldn't imagine living in such a place himself but upon seeing the inside of Suigetsu's apartment, he understood the appeal.Despite the shady outer appearance, the inside of his apartment was huge. Suigetsu's interior design tastes also made the place feel homey, and suited more of Sasuke's preferences than what his actual abode looked like. There was a monochromatic appeal to it, and the focus on lighting looked beautiful. No ugly ceiling lights, but a mixture of soft atmospheric lighting from various lamps. It was a beautiful place to live, and Sasuke felt the connection between Suigetsu's warm demeanour and his comforting personal space. "I can see the connection," he muttered, his hand still holding onto Suigetsu's lower back as he placed the duffle bag in a small closet. "Hm? Connection between what?" Suigetsu turned to look at him and then at his home."Between your personality and your house," Sasuke marveled, letting go as Suigetsu walked into what looked like the entrance to a bathroom. The sound of a faucet turning on could be heard, and then he walked out again to stand in the kitchen space. Flipping on a light, a warm bulb from above bathed him in a soft yellow light that looked like a halo around his head. Suigetsu looked mesmerising, and after the miserable day Sasuke had, a miraculous angel that also looked sexy while wrapping an apron around his waist was exactly what he needed."Feel free to stay here as long as you need," he grinned brightly, ducking to grab something out of a lower cabinet."I-I can't do that, Sui, it's enough that you let me come over," Sasuke stammered, moving to lean against the kitchen island."You're acting like I'm sending you home after dinner, no way," he smirked, taking out a cutting board and opening the fridge.Sasuke sat there stunned as he watched the silver-haired man move around the kitchen effortlessly, he looked so graceful as each step in whatever recipe he was following came to him without an effort. Sasuke hadn't even asked him to cook, but here Suigetsu was, coming up with something for their dinner. They spent their time idly chatting about whatever else was going in their life, apparently Naruto wasn't the only popular person Sasuke knew. Suigetsu had a lot of friends within the kinesiology and medical programs, and even more friends outside of their university. His well-connected social life is what gave him admittance to exclusive places like Nebesa, and apparently, also gave him a lot of experience in the bedroom. Imagining Suigetsu moaning and bumping his hips carelessly to anyone else's hand turned a coil in Sasuke's stomach, but it also turned him on slightly. Sitting down to eat dinner opposite to each other, Sasuke watched as Suigetsu picked up his fork to eat. The way those soft lips bit into the food, his pink tongue that would peek out to lick his lips and even the way his eyelashes would flutter as he looked down at the plate.It all made Sasuke hungry for something else than the delicious dinner that Suigetsu had made for the both of them.He was eager to wait, however, and soon dinner was done. He found himself sitting on the couch, with a content Suigetsu curled up next to him, his legs resting on top of Sasuke's lap as his head was in the crook of his neck. He smelled like lavender, Sasuke breathed in his scent and felt that hunger strike again.Looking down, he took in the concentrated look on Suigetsu's face as he watched the T.V. and pondered whether it was ok to kiss him right now. Slowly bringing his hand up and turning Suigetsu's face to look up at him, Sasuke looked into those pretty violet eyes."Can I kiss you?" he whispered, and Suigetsu nodded his head.He leaned down and pressed his lips against Sui's, and before long, his tongue was prodding into the warm mouth. Their tongues swirled as Suigetsu moaned into the deep kiss, his hands finding purchase around Sasuke's shoulders as the raven shifted him to sit on his lap. Suigetsu was rutting against him the longer they made out, it only felt like a couple of minutes but a quick glance at the wall clock told Sasuke that it was nearing thirty minutes. He let go of the kiss to pull Suigetsu's shirt off, his large pecs bouncing in front of Sasuke's face as he kissed his left nipple. "You're so pretty, Sui," Sasuke mumbled as he began sucking on the nipple. "D-don't say that," Suigetsu moaned, pressing the back of Sasuke's head as the sensation heightened."Why not? You are pretty," Sasuke let go, moving onto the other pec.Moving his hands down his toned abdomen, Sasuke's fingers dexterously unzipped Suigetsu's cargo pants and reached in to pull out his hardened cock. It was already leaking precum heavily, practically drowning Sasuke's hands in the fluid. The raven looked up to see the desperate look in the other man's eyes and dove in for another kiss. "You got a bed?" he mumbled through the kiss and Suigetsu nodded vigorously. Pointing down the short hallway to a closed door, Sasuke immediately pulled him up into his arms as he stood up. Though Suigetsu was heavy and he was struggling with holding him up, Sasuke had somehow stumbled his way into the bedroom, while the other man remained latched onto his lips. He lay Sui gently on the sheets and took in the view of his shivering companion, the pleasure wracking his body and twisting his expression. Their clothes were off in an instant, and though Sasuke had been naked with Suigetsu before, this felt new and for the first time, felt undeniably right. They were making out as Sasuke's hand reached down to Suigetsu's plump ass, his finger rubbing circles around his puckered hole."I-I don't have lube," Suigetsu's eyes widened, the realisation dawning on him. "Hey, hey, look at me, it's ok. We don't have to have sex today, we're not in a rush," Sasuke tried to reassure his partner, while also calming his own fears of his lack of sexual experience derailing their escapade.Suigetsu looked troubled instead, and turned his head quickly to his nightstand. Sasuke followed his gaze and saw the lotion sitting there, and turned back to see Suigetsu reach out for it."Hey- I don't want you to feel pressured-""I'm not pressured, Sasuke... I want you to fuck me, hard," Suigetsu blushed, handing the lotion to Sasuke who felt like he could cum right then and there."You certainly have a way with words," he mused, stroking Suigetsu's silver hair away from his face.He squirted a generous amount of the scentless lotion onto his hand and moved downwards to apply it onto Suigetsu's asshole. His fingers made the circular motion again and he sucked on Suigetsu's puffy nipple to distract him from any tension. Gently pushing his pointer finger inside, he slowly thrust in and out, watching the expressions on Suigetsu's face."You- you don't have to treat me like I'm made of porcelain," he huffed out, breathing in and out. "I'm not, I just want to be gentle with you, take my time with you," Sasuke straightened himself up to look down on Suigetsu.His response had the silver-haired man blushing, and he reached out his arms to bring Sasuke close to him."I've... already touched myself down there enough times that I'm comfortable with you going further," he whispered and Sasuke felt a strong shiver go down his spine. Pushing his lips against Suigetsu's while pushing three fingers in at the same time, he swallowed the high-pitched moan that came out of the man and pressed his tongue against the other. The sounds Suigetsu made were nothing like the gay porn Sasuke had studied a while ago, this was exciting, electric even. Suigetsu sounded beautiful and he looked beautiful too, but he'd save the compliments for later. "I don't have condoms," Sasuke suddenly realised, his movement stilling as he pulled his fingers out."...I don't mind Sasuke, I know we're both clean," Suigetsu mumbled, pressing his face into the pillow as he parted his legs further. It gave Sasuke an even better view of his meal, and he was surprised by the sound of his heart, ready to break out of his ribcage. "Are you sure? We can just hold off-" "Please," Suigetsu whispered, pushing his thighs further apart with his hands, practically spread out for Sasuke. Without a second thought, he lined his throbbing cock with Suigetsu's entrance and pushed in slowly. The grip of that velvety heat made Sasuke dizzy, it was too much and the sensation was unlike anything his mind could ever come up with. Suigetsu moaned aloud, calling out Sasuke's name and holding his hands out. They hugged as Sasuke languidly thrust in and out of the shivering body beneath him, he was slow but it was enough to make Suigetsu cum hard. Both of their stomachs painted white as Sasuke began to build up his pace. His pretty lover was loud, and rather than embarrassment, he enjoyed hearing Suigetsu scream his name.It was something akin to pride, that whoever his neighbours were in this dingy apartment, knew that the person that was currently bending Suigetsu in half was a guy named Sasuke. His chest swelled with pride at the mess he was making out of the silver-haired man whose nails dug deeply into his back. The sound of Sasuke's hips slapping with Sui's plush ass echoed throughout the room, and the squelching noises of his tight little hole were only driving Sasuke further down that tunnel of pleasure. He leaned down to capture Suigetsu's lips, teeth clashing and tongues swirling around. He could feel his stomach tighten as the velvet walls of Sui's ass finally milked him, and he came deep inside. His own moan pressing flush into Suigetsu's mouth as the other man came for the third time that night. His legs were shaking after holding onto Sasuke's waist, and finally pulling out had him cumming one last time. Sasuke lay down next to Suigetsu, who immediately curled into his arms, and he pressed a soft kiss against his sweaty bangs. "You feel so good, baby," he whispered, pushing the hair back. Suigetsu smiled up at him, kissing Sasuke's chin and wrapping himself further around the raven."Give me a second, I'll bring a washcloth to clean you up," Sasuke spoke, amazed by his aftercare abilities.Thank goodness for romantic gay porn and how-to guides found on shady corners of the internet. Coming back from the adjoined bathroom with a warm washcloth, Sasuke wiped down Suigetsu's body carefully and when he was done, realised that he was fast asleep. He walked back to the bathroom to place the rag in the hamper and saw the dim light of his phone coming his pants pocket. Reaching down to the open his messages, he saw the missed calls and notifications of Naruto's texts building up on the screen. Whatever it was, it can wait for tomorrow just like how Naruto had made him wait a week. Right now, Sasuke's attention was entirely on Suigetsu and he didn't need anyone coming in between that. Sweeping the blanket on the edge of the bed over both their bodies, he gentle scooped Suigetsu to sleep on his chest as he wrapped his arms around him. This was the warmth Sasuke had been craving for, and the assurance he felt when he was with Sui was more than enough to make Sasuke come to a decision on who he wanted.
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Sasuke awoke underneath the warm duvet, blinking eyes open and pulling the sheet off his head to reveal the warm glow of sunlight streaming through the window. Saturday, a precious day off. He looked under the duvet at Suigetsu, wrapped around his pale torso and still asleep.The sunlight gave him a better view of the room and its well-decorated interior. There were a few posters hanging on the wall of films Sasuke had never heard of before, and a tall bookcase filled to the brim. There was a lot more personality in this room than what he had noticed in the living room, but theme of coziness didn't evade the space. There was a light scent of sandalwood and he spotted an amber diffuser sitting on the vanity. Peeking at Suigetsu, Sasuke took his time to take in each feature of that soft face. His wispy lashes that were much darker than his hair, his straight-bridge nose, and his pouty lips. Suigetsu was so sweet, but Sasuke felt that "undeniable" gut feeling from last night was fading into confusion now. Should he be here? That's when he remembered the missed calls from Naruto, and gently turned onto his back to grab his phone from the nightstand.He turned on the phone and was immediately met with his lock screen, a precious picture of their childhood with a seven-year-old Naruto kissing a shy Sasuke on the cheek. The guilt churned at the pit of his stomach but why? He hated that he felt guilty but he loathed himself for sleeping with Suigetsu despite his crush on Naruto. Despite the years he spent yearning for the blond. Suigetsu yawned, stretching his hands up and groaning as he relaxed his entire body. He looked up slowly and met Sasuke's gaze, the guilt began to eat Sasuke alive, but Suigetsu only smiled softly. "You look like an angel," the words effortlessly flowed from him, and Sasuke held back from saying anything further.Suigetsu only giggled in response, rolling on top of Sasuke and resting his head on the pale chest. They lay like that for a while, Sasuke's focus flitting between the wall of notifications from Naruto and Suigetsu slowly breathing. He didn't know what to do, it felt like nothing had been solved by coming to Sui's apartment and he felt like a coward for running away from any interaction with Naruto."Sui, I-""I know, just... please stay until breakfast, I promise I'll make something tasty," he looked up, that sad smile from before on his face. Sasuke was weak to him, just as he was weak for Naruto but could he love two people at once? It was wrong, and everything in his mind screamed to decline politely and leave. But, when Suigetsu sat up, the weight of that tempting body sinking onto Sasuke's groin, every rational thought immediately fled from his conscious.His lips crashed against Suigetsu as he pushed the man onto his back, positioning himself above him and pushing two fingers back inside. They made love again, Sui breathlessly moaning underneath as Sasuke relentlessly chased the high he always felt with the silver-haired man. After round and round of pounding into Sui, he finally stopped and carried the man into the shower with him. The shower was hot, although they had to take turns to stand under the showerhead but Sasuke needed any distraction to stop himself from thinking of Naruto. As he stood against the cold tiled walls of the shower, watching Sui bend slightly to get all the cum out of him, Sasuke couldn't help but think of the natural schedule he and Naruto had. Saturday, exactly at 10 Naruto would wake up without any help and beg Sasuke to make something savoury for breakfast. It was the only day where the blond didn't need Sasuke to assault him out of bed, and those quiet mornings without the rush to get to lectures on time was savoured. He shook his head, willing the thoughts to get out and focused on Sui who was rubbing a pink-coloured soap on his chest."Strawberry flavoured?" Sasuke swiped a bit of the pink fluid and sniffed it."No, silly, it's cotton-candy!" Suigetsu smiled, his hands creating small bubbles from the lathering.It was Sasuke's turn to wash Sui, and he tried to focus, but his mind conjured up images of Naruto in the shower. He knew the blond used his soaps despite telling him time and again to buy his own shower products. "Sasuke? Are you alright?" Sui asked, and Sasuke snapped back to reality."Y-yeah, I'm fine. Turn around, let me wash your back," he muttered quickly, throwing on a smile. They finished showering and headed back into the bedroom, Sui rushed to grab something for Sasuke to wear and Sasuke stood awkwardly, watching Sui try to dress him up. "I'll wash your other clothes and hand them back to you later," Suigetsu spoke calmly, taking something blue out and pairing it with a creme-coloured pant."You don't have to do that, it's alright," Sasuke responded, picking up his clothes strewn around the floor.Sui looked disappointed as he set the clothes down on the bed, and without another word, dressed up in clothes of the opposite order from Sasuke's. Blue jeans and a creme shirt."We're matching," Sasuke chuckled, but Sui didn't respond. He simply left the bedroom, closing the door behind him and Sasuke stared down at the clothes. Was it really such a big deal to let him wash the clothes? He should've just said yes.Sighing deeply, he put on the outfit and looked at himself in the mirror. He had never worn anything creme before, the appeal of the colour was too soft for Sasuke's tastes but he did wear Naruto's gaudy orange clothing. He had no excuses and decided to at least be more cooperative with Sui during breakfast.He looked at himself in the mirror again, taking just a moment to observe his reflection, and Sasuke realised how well-rested he looked. Something that was lacking from his reflection for the whole week that Naruto didn't talk to him. It felt like a mistake to be here with Suigetsu, but it also felt like a mistake to leave.Opening the bedroom door and heading to the kitchen, he saw Sui in his apron, whisking away at something in a large bowl."What's for breakfast?" Sasuke asked, sitting at the kitchen island."I thought waffles might be good, with an eggs benedict topping?" Suigetsu turned around, a soft glow on his face."Wow, that's... impressive," it was such a complex breakfast, and Sasuke felt both touched and burdened.The conversation died from there as Suigetsu continued to work with his back turned from Sasuke, practically avoiding eye contact and only nodding his head whenever Sasuke said anything. The raven couldn't handle it anymore, ever since they took that shower together, Sui had become colder."Sui, hey... please look at me," Sasuke spoke gently, not leaving his seat in fear that he'd invade the other man's personal space.Suigetsu slowly stopped in his movements, taking a second before turning around to look at Sasuke. "What?" he asked, his eyes immediately darting to the ground."I'm sorry if I've been acting... out of it, it's just... I feel like I've-""Made a mistake?" Sui interjected, and Sasuke startled.Is that where he was going with his sentence? Did he think of this as a mistake?"N-no, it's not a mistake! I am fully aware of what I did and said to you, and I don't think us sleeping together is wrong," but the words felt wrong to say out loud, and judging by Suigetsu's hurt expression, he knew it too.Again, the discussion died and Sasuke finally stood up to move towards Sui. "You're distracted Sasuke, who you are in the daylight is so different from who you become at night," Sui's eyebrows knit in worry, and he turned away towards the counter.The waffle was burning, and the charred scent had Sui cursing, but Sasuke was unsure who it was directed at."I'm sorry, I'm so sorry baby-""Please don't call me that, not when you're emotionally invested in someone else," Sui dropped the burnt waffle on the floor and they both watched its crusted edge break into pieces."I'm sorry Suigetsu," Sasuke said once more, reaching out his hand to touch the other's shoulder.Suigetsu didn't push him away, but he didn't welcome the touch either. It was like he had become a marionette, unable to perceive Sasuke's words or touches. Sasuke pulled him into his embrace and was shocked to feel something wet on the front of his shirt. He was crying...Sasuke immediately pulled Suigetsu's face upwards to look at him, and those precious violet eyes had a small stream of tears running down pink cheeks. "Why are you crying?" he asked, worried."B-because I know how this ends," Suigetsu gulped, wiping harshly at his eyes.Sasuke pulled the weeping face into his chest, unable to come up with comforting words that promised good things. What can he say that he could back-up in the end? Nothing came to mind. "Can't you stay with me for longer? You look so ready to leave," Suigetsu cried into his shirt, wrapping his arms around Sasuke's torso to hold him in place."Sui... I have to get back to the apartment, he's called me so many times already," Sasuke sighed, and the other man reluctantly let go.Wiping his tears away with his arm, Suigetsu's cheeks and eyes had inflamed to a deep pink colour. He looked exhausted but there was still something willful in his gaze."I can wait," he finally spoke, arms crossing."Wait?" "For you. I'm... willing to wait," Suigetsu mumbled, biting his lower lip to stop the fresh onslaught of tears."Don't do that, Sui," Sasuke took a step back and the tears came rushing down."Why?! You told me he was straight last night, that there was no chance he was gay!" Suigetsu cried out making Sasuke startle. That's right, while under his lust-driven monkey brain's control, Sasuke had slipped every detail of his unrequited love for Naruto. Even the fact that he felt like the blond would never feel the same way for him. "I should go," Sasuke marched out of the kitchen and headed to the bedroom to grab his clothes and stuff them in his bag that was by the couch. Suigetsu followed him silently, only quiet sniffling could be heard and Sasuke held back from turning around to comfort the man again. He shouldn't, not when he's unable to swear that he'll stop pining for Naruto. His mind felt like it was torn in two, but his stronger instinct was to leave and find Naruto. Putting on his shoes by the doorway, he saw Suigetsu crouch and watch him from his peripheral. Without turning around, Sasuke muttered a quick goodbye and left the apartment. As the door closed, he heard Suigetsu take a deep breath, a choked sob leaving him. The scent of sandalwood was burning his nostrils, and the raven felt sick.It was already eleven o'clock, probably a little bit past, and Naruto's favourite baseball team would be playing on the T.V. right about now.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
-The Same Day as Chapter 11-
Each lecture had melted into the next, and Naruto found himself in a daze. Life felt so normal within the four walls of his lecture hall, but in that tiny apartment he shared with his best friend, it felt like everything had turned upside down. Naruto had caught- no, he had seen Sasuke sleeping next to some guy, caught would be too strong of a word. Sasuke wasn't doing anything with him, at least Naruto hoped not, but he couldn't understand why seeing it made him angry. It was some kiddy sleepover, not the end of the world, but Sasuke's pale bare skin was under the sheets with someone else. It gave him a headache.Who was that guy anyways? What was he doing in their home? Sasuke never drank with other people, he barely even had half a beer can when Naruto wanted to drink together. Why is he so comfortable with that stranger but not with him-"-ruto! Hey, Naruto!" he jumped a little as he finally realised that Chouji was waving his hand at him."H-hey," he mumbled, looking around to see his entire friend group was waiting for him at the exit door."Dude, the lecture ended like five minutes ago, the fuck are you still doing sitting there?" Kiba chuckled, Chouji joining him."Who knows, maybe he finally started paying attention and realised how behind he is," Shikamaru spoke, turning to look at all the notes written on the board from the lecture.Sakura stood idly behind the guys, with Ino busily typing away beside her.Naruto slowly got up, hauling his backpack over his shoulder and walked down the steps of the hall to join his friends. He forgot that they had plans to grab lunch together later, but what he really wanted to do was call Sasuke. He had been avoiding the raven for a while now, and he was successful too. It felt weird not hearing Sasuke's voice, and not seeing him preparing breakfast in the morning. He lightly tapped his phone in his pocket, a silent reminder to at least give his best friend a call later.Maybe they can work it out together, this was a stupid fight after all and Sasuke probably thought Naruto was being an idiot. Comforting himself with a vague promise of everything returning to its former state, he joined the conversation as the group walked to one of Naruto's favourite ramen restaurants."I just don't get why you're so interested in him?" Sakura poked Ino's arm, the blonde angrily turning away to continue texting whoever."Wait, are you still into that Sai guy?" Naruto interjected and began to laugh at how red Ino's face got.Everyone groaned together and Ino began defending her crush on some guy from the visual arts department. Yeah, this was how things were meant to be. Naruto and his friends, laughing and having fun, and when he gets home, Sasuke will be waiting for him. Normal. That's all he wanted. "Y'know, he's never going to look your way because you always act weird around him," Kiba barked, bending over from the laughter. "Yeah! Like who the hell says 'you too' after serving the guy his meal!" Chouji nearly choked from the laughter."What are you guys talking about?! When did I say that?!" Ino yanked Kiba by his hair, the guy screamed his apology hoping she'd let go."Wait- is that why you quit your job at that cafe?! Seriously?!" Sakura giggled too, and Naruto noticed the way she slowed down to match him in pace.Sakura was nice, a little bossy but it wasn't anything Naruto couldn't handle. She was pretty smart, and he knew a handful of guys in their program who had a crush on her. "You feeling ok?" she whispered, the two of them behind the noisy group."Yeah, just a little under the weather," he reassured her, she was really nice. The group soon arrived at the restaurant and were escorted to a corner table in the back. As Kiba went to sit down next to Naruto, Sakura somehow pushed her way through and grabbed the seat."Ugh, always so pushy," Kiba grunted, choosing to sit across from Chouji instead.That was one of the things that Naruto noticed while hanging out with this new group of friends, no matter where he sat or went on campus, Sakura was always beside him. It felt weird to see pink hair and not black next to his bright blond hair, it was definitely a new combination but he didn't mind the companionship.Sasuke barely ever came to lunch anymore, deeming Naruto's friends as "too loud", but it wasn't exactly like everyone else enjoyed his company at lunch either. Sasuke didn't speak much, and though he was exceptionally good looking, his icy demeanour immediately isolated himself from the others. Sakura poured water into his cup from the pitcher, and he noticed how she sat much closer to him than the others. "Oh by the way, I saw your friend Sasuke and another man at work," Ino interjected, catching Naruto's attention."Work? You mean your old job, like the place you quit?" Kiba laughed again, earning a punch to the side from Ino."Another man? What do you mean?" Naruto could feel the dull ache of the headache returning."I don't know really, I tried to say hi to Sasuke but I swear he doesn't know who I am!" Everyone agreed on it, there was little doubt that Sasuke knew who any of Naruto's friends were."Yeah but the guy- sorry, I was wondering who you're talking about?" Naruto tried to downplay how curious he was, but no one else seemed to notice."Um, well he was also really good looking. I'd say he's older than us by a couple of years, oh and he had long black hair. Actually, now that I think about it, he kind of looked like Sasuke," Ino tried to remember details about the encounter.Itachi. The first name that popped into mind after that description, and Naruto visibly relaxed. He turned to look at Sakura who was staring bullets at him, she looked displeased but he didn't get why.
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Sasuke took his phone out of his pocket, and grimly stared at the notification wall that had built up over night. How many missed calls can a single person even send before the battery dies out? Every call and message from Naruto looked like he was earnestly seeking for help, but Sasuke knew that it was probably the blond worrying about his whereabouts. Memories of the fight came back and the mixture of all the guilt had him dialing Naruto, he wasn't in the mood to apologise after the shit show with Suigetsu, but he did at least want to let the blond know that he's coming home. The line rang for a while, which he expected, Naruto wasn't very tech-savvy and he wasn't especially interested in carrying his phone wherever he went. After three rings, he finally answered."For fuck's sake, where were you?!" the disgruntled voice from the other side had Sasuke stopping in his tracks, this doesn't sound like Naruto."Naruto?" Sasuke called out, unsure of who this other voice was."It's me, I asked you a question. Where were you?" Sasuke had never heard Naruto swear so strongly before, and especially not directed at him. "I was staying at a friend's house, I'll be home in a bit," he answered calmly and heard what sounded like Naruto stubbing his toe. Another strong curse word and then the blond was jumbling words out of his mouth that Sasuke could barely interpret. It was a lot of incoherent noise, and rather than answering to it, he hung up the call. Speed-walking down the street, he began to panic as he imagined that Naruto might have called the police to report Sasuke as missing. Or, maybe he forgot to do something important and Naruto was in trouble? His mind spun in circles until he was on a familiar street leading back to their apartment. Rushing up the rusty stairs two steps at a time, he finally stood in front of their front door and hesitantly knocked. Naruto swung the door open quickly, the movement shocking Sasuke but what scared him more was the state of the blond. The dark eyes, the messy bird's nest of blond hair, and that enraged look in his eyes. Before he could say anything, Naruto had grabbed him by the collar and pulled him into the apartment. Sasuke was pushed up against the wall besides the front door and his head ached from the impact of hitting the wall. "Ow- what the hell are you doing?!" he growled, rubbing the back of his head as Naruto held him in place. After the initial panic blew away, Sasuke finally got a good look at Naruto who stared at him intensely. "I've been waiting for you to come home since yesterday evening, but you couldn't even bother to call to let me know you won't come home? Not even a text? I know we fought, but fuck, don't act like you're the only one waiting up!" Naruto seethed.So, he knew. Naruto knew all along that Sasuke waited for him, day after miserable day, night after miserable night. He knew and that didn't change his schedule, but as soon as Sasuke wants to stay away, that's when all hell breaks loose."I'm sorry I didn't call or text! I-I was busy! I didn't notice the missed calls!" Sasuke tried to reason."Bullshit! You actually expect me to believe that?!" Naruto curled his fists more in the front of Sasuke's shirt."I was with somebody-" Naruto's expression dropped, Sasuke noticed the twitch in his eye and it looked as though Naruto had been punched in the stomach."I saw something interesting yesterday, I didn't want to believe it..." he scoffed before continuing."But, the way you act now has me thinking it's true after all. You and that kinesiology guy... are you two... a couple?" Naruto said the latter quietly, as though he was still willing himself to believe it's not true. "W-what?! No- I mean, where did you even get that from?" Sasuke's panic outweighed his guilt at treating his time with Sui as an inferior thing, but everything he had hid until now might just unravel itself. "So it's true?!" Naruto brought his face closer to Sasuke in shock, those ocean blue eyes straining widely. "N-no!" Sasuke tried to shimmy the blond's iron grip off of him."Are you seriously dating him?! Sakura showed me a photo of you two on East Campus- and I- is it true, Sasuke?!" Naruto stammered, his eyes frantically searching Sasuke's face.The raven panicked at what to do, but it dawned on him, why did this matter so much to Naruto? The same guy who had people asking him out every day, his best friend who happily abandons him during the day to spend time with his new friends."If it is true... what's it to you?" Sasuke stopped struggling and looked Naruto in the eye.Suddenly all the frantic movement had ceased, and the still air was between them. The oxygen flushing out of his lungs, and a pale disposition taking over Naruto."Are you kidding me? What is it to me? My best friend stops hanging out with me, stops talking to me, stops being normal... all because of some guy?!" the blond rambled and it felt like Sasuke had gone deaf. A deep, piercing ringing tone funneled through his ears, and his eyes couldn't focus on the movement of Naruto's mouth anymore. He couldn't hear the words, all he wanted was to desperately buck this guy off of his body."Get the fuck off me," Sasuke spoke through gritted teeth, his blood boiling as he realised that nothing changed.His disappearance only mattered because it interrupted Naruto's normal. Him being an anomaly in the blond's day-to-day life was the only reason Naruto even realised something was wrong.Naruto let go of his grip on Sasuke but kept his hands caged on either side of the raven. "So that's why you're this mad? Because I was spending the night with someone else?" Sasuke asked, the energy draining from his body."You don't get it, Sasuke, how would you feel if I deserted you for some random guy?" Naruto questioned, but the regret immediately showed on his face."Deserted you like you've already deserted me? Right, of course, because the fucking world revolves around you, doesn't it?" Sasuke spat venomously. Naruto took a step back and that's when Sasuke felt a flash of confidence to do something brash."I slept with him," he suddenly confessed and reveled in how pale Naruto looked by that information."You what?" he muttered."I fucked him, Naruto." Sasuke crossed his arms, sending a pointed look at the blond.There was a long silence between them as Sasuke felt unsure now of whether that was a good move or a bad move. Naruto suddenly crumpled, wobbling to the ground and hiding his face in his knees. Sasuke didn't know what to do, but suddenly the blond's wide shoulders began shaking, and then a long sob came out of his trembling body.The raven immediately swooped down to hold the blond against him, and gently cradled his face up to look at Sasuke. Tears flowed from Naruto's pink face as the blond cried harshly into the air, Sasuke's hands held either side of his face softly."Don't leave me, Sasuke," Naruto wept, the tears weren't stopping anytime soon.This was a new state of panic, he hadn't seen Naruto cry since they were in middle school when his uncle Jiraiya passed away and he couldn't remember how he comforted the blond back then. Without much of an idea on what to do, his body moved without thinking and he pressed a kiss against Naruto's plush lips. He shut his eyes tightly as his lips pressed against the blond's, but worrying that maybe this wasn't the right thing to do, he immediately stumbled back.Naruto looked shocked, his mouth agape and his eyes were both dazed and focused on Sasuke."I'm sorry- I-" his words were cut off as Naruto pounced onto him, wrapping his arms around Sasuke's shoulders as he pressed a kiss against the raven's mouth."Naruto- wait-" Sasuke pulled his face away for a second, but the opening gave Naruto a chance to push his tongue in.The sensation of kissing Naruto was entirely unlike anything Sasuke had experienced before, it couldn't compare to the kisses he shared with Sui either. This was more than the cliche fireworks going off in your mind, these deep kisses felt like comfort. Like a warm duvet over soft sheets in the middle of a cold winter. The back of his head was pressed against the wall, and one of Naruto's hands cradled the back of his neck while the other wrapped around his waist.They were making out. Sasuke was making out with Naruto. It was a reality. Finally letting go to take a few breaths, Naruto grinned at Sasuke who blushed in contrast. "You taste sweet," Sasuke muttered, hiding his face in his hands.He could hear Naruto's soft laughter, and felt the warmth of the blond kissing each of his fingers that were currently hiding his shy expression."That was our first kiss... technically," Naruto spoke proudly, pulling Sasuke's hands off his face."Technically?" Sasuke asked, curious."Well, our actual first kiss was in kindergarten," the blond confessed with a small blush, and Sasuke felt like kicking him. He lay on the floor in Naruto's arms, with the blond in between his legs. "So... what now?" Sasuke asked sheepishly."I want us... to... um- this is embarrassing," Naruto pushed his face into Sasuke's chest."You're embarrassed?! What about me?!" he poked at Naruto's head.The two of them laughed together, before Naruto stood up and reached out a hand to Sasuke. They were standing together now, and Naruto looked much more serious now, which made Sasuke's stomach turn. "I... I want to understand that you don't have anything going on with the other guy anymore, right?" the blond asked, his eyes shining in the dim light of the hallway.Sasuke took a moment to think of the question. It's true, nothing more was happening or will happen between him and Sui, despite the latter's mention of waiting for Sasuke. He would have to clear that up to Sui later."Yes, we're not a couple or anything. I... I'm not involved with him like that anymore," Sasuke confirmed.Then in a swoop, he was pulled into Naruto's arms and kissed all over on his face. "Woah! Hey now!" he laughed, as he embraced Naruto."I know I don't have any right to ask you this after my meltdown... I've hurt you a lot Sasuke, and I know that comes from us not talking to each other anymore. We used to be able to understand each other telepathically before, remember?" Naruto mused and Sasuke chuckled, nodding his head."I don't want to lose my best friend, but I was hoping... that he could be something more too. I-I don't know how being boyfriends work, but what I know is that I love you. Hearing you spend the night with someone else makes me insanely jealous y'know... I want to be that person. So, what I'm asking is... will you... go out with me?" Naruto rambled, but to Sasuke it felt like the most romantic thing he'd ever heard."You want us to date?" he asked, unsure of whether he heard it correctly."Yeah," Naruto smiled warmly.Sasuke would've fainted had it not been for Naruto's arms around his waist. "Yes!" he exclaimed, wrapping his arms around the blond's shoulders, hugging him tightly. They held onto each other, Sasuke laughing as he felt Naruto pulsate with joy. They had a long way to go in terms of moving towards a healthy relationship, but this was certainly a development that Sasuke never thought would happen for the rest of his life. This was everything he ever wanted.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Soft beams of sunlight streamed through the linen curtains, Sasuke curled his hands around his warm cup of tea as he watched the morning news while Naruto slept soundly in the other room. Solidifying their relationship and evolving it to that of lovers was something so unreal, he smiled to himself as he imagined the blond's bedhead when he finally wakes up.Nothing particularly exciting was going on in the news but the calm was something he hadn't felt in a while, Sasuke let out a deep breath as he relaxed into the plush leather of the couch.The exact words that Naruto had used last night, as they fell asleep in each other's arms, were that of an apology."I'm sorry for being such a knucklehead, I should've noticed sooner how you felt about me. So much for being telepathic best friends, huh?" he mused, his blue eyes drooping from the sleepiness.Sasuke had let him go to sleep, but he really wanted to clarify that nothing could come between them anymore. A certain pink-haired woman could be a potential threat, and Naruto wasn't gay to begin with, and the idea that the blond might one day leave him seemed too real. So much for a peaceful morning.He really wanted to get better at handling these anxious thoughts but whenever he was alone, like right now, they spiralled to the forefront of his mind from seemingly nowhere. Setting his cup of tea down on the coffee table, he leaned on the edge of the sofa's armrest to look down the hall towards their, now, shared bedroom. Not a stir or shuffle from behind the door. Naruto was still fast asleep and Sasuke would feel insanely guilty if he woke up the blond just to ask if he'd ever leave Sasuke.Raising the volume of the T.V. ever so slightly to distract his mind, he began flipping through the channels, trying to find anything that could temporarily make him feel better. He came across a reality show called "Date Now" that recounted real-life dating stories told partially by a narrator and by re-enactments. The current episode couldn't hit any closer to home, the generic pop theme in the background was a minute distraction to the visual content on screen. A young woman was recounting her story of her years of pining for her childhood best friend, a guy she loved to death, who ended up leaving her for someone else only a year after they started dating. Sasuke was sat on the edge of his seat and he watched the, somewhat poor, re-enactment of the events. He couldn't help but sympathise with the woman and a flash of Sakura's face came across his mind. What were the chances that Naruto would leave him for her, or for any other woman? What was the likelihood that he'd leave tomorrow?!The raven shot up to his feet and began to pace the living room, biting the nails on one hand and thinking up all sorts of scenarios that could occur. Suddenly stopping in his tracks, Sasuke felt his stomach growl out of hunger and sighed.What was he doing so early in the morning? Naruto was asleep, not cheating on him. He was right down the hall. Sasuke had to calm down. He decided on a simple breakfast for the both of them, and began preparing the meal. As he gently stirred the egg yolk for the omelette, his mind was careening towards that headspace again, and he wasn't sure how long he was standing there but he heard a loud yawn behind him. Before he could turn around, two tan muscular arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him towards a warm chest. "Good morning," Naruto mumbled into Sasuke's hair and bent down to kiss his cheek.Sasuke's heart was hammering against his ribcage, and he thought he'd melt right into the floor as a human puddle. How can Naruto be so casual with all the PDA? Sasuke could barely handle a hug, let alone a kiss on the cheek. "Omelettes for breakfast?" the blond's voice was raspy and the raven slightly shivered, nodding his head as an answer.Naruto let him be, taking his seat at their small kitchen table and watching Sasuke's back as he resumed stirring. "Is something wrong?" Naruto asked after a while, and Sasuke went absolutely still."No, what do you mean?" he didn't bother turning around, pushing his waist against the counter to steady himself."It's just- you're not looking at me, for one. Two, you've been stirring for a while now," he could hear Naruto huff out a small chuckle and that made him go red. It's embarrassing that Sasuke was being so obvious that someone as dense as Naruto knew something was up. He finally turned around, bracing a small smile to prove that nothing was amiss but the blond was skeptical."Now that we're dating, there's no excuse for the lack of communication, Sas," the blond smirked and Sasuke had to hold back from the enormous eye-roll begging to happen. "I... I don't know where to start or even why I'm feeling this way... I-" he tried to kickstart those rough emotions from earlier but now he just felt empty.He felt defeated despite not doing a whole lot of fighting and the part of himself that had given up overpowered the rest of his mind. "Yeah?" the blond coaxed him to continue, and suddenly it felt like a dam was cracking and everything came out at once."I think you might get tired of me, realise you're not into me, or guys in general, and then leave me for a woman, like Sakura," he snapped his hands over his mouth but the words were already out.Naruto sat in a stunned silence, wide blue eyes holding onto Sasuke's gaze and refusing to look anywhere else.Sasuke wanted to book an airplane ticket to someplace far enough that eventually he and Naruto could forget that he ever admitted to something so egregious. "I- woah, ok... I see," Naruto's response made him feel even worse, and he wanted his human puddle state to return and make sure he evaporated into thin air. Leaning against the counter for support, Sasuke crossed his arms defensively and prepared himself for whatever the blond was going to say."I didn't know you were worried about that, Sas... I don't think I'll be getting tired of you anytime soon, and I promise I won't ever just get up and leave without a word. As for Sakura- well, I'm not really into her. It's funny you think that, though," he sheepishly grinned and Sasuke was sure that he was more red than a tomato now. Naruto got up with a laugh and wrapped his arms around the embarrassed Sasuke, who was currently covering his entire face with his arms. The blond cradled him gently in his arms, placing kisses over the back of his head and neck, sprinkling a few giggles too. "You don't have to be shy about it. I like when you tell me what's on your mind," Naruto whispered into Sasuke's ear.The feeling of his breath tickling his ear had the raven pulling away slightly, blushing even more. But, the blond pulled him back into his grasp, pressing his lips against Sasuke's in a sweet embrace. Naruto's lips were pillowy soft, it was such a different feeling and he had no way of explicitly describing how happy he felt when he was held by the blond like this. They pulled apart for a breath but before Naruto could say another word, Sasuke pushed his face back onto the blond's. Hands fumbled around, their breath was shaky and Sasuke closed his eyes and trusted that Naruto would help them both stumble their way into the bedroom. Landing onto the bed with a thump, he looked up to see his boyfriend above him, staring at him with a lascivious smirk. "You look so cute like that," Naruto hummed."Like what?" Sasuke wrapped his arms around his neck to pull him down onto him."Like a cat, who's startled but wants more," Sasuke rolled his eyes at the response and huffed.There's no dignified response to that and he didn't want to entertain Naruto further. Resuming their makeout session, Naruto gracefully pulled off Sasuke's shirt and begin his attack on the raven's pale collarbones. Licking and biting as he pleased, Sasuke was sure that he'd have to wear a turtleneck once the weekend was over. He couldn't hold back his moans, biting his bottom lip to prevent any noise, but the feeling of Naruto's teeth grazing against parts of his skin no one has ever touched before sent Sasuke for a spin. These touches, the warm scent of body wash and his natural scent was so intoxicating. Sasuke had never taken drugs before, but he assumed that the ecstasy that came with the narcotics was similar to this, and he was becoming addicted to Naruto's everything. "I want to do more than just kiss," he mumbled against the blond's neck, pressing kisses to the tan skin."You feel ready for it?" Naruto traced small kisses up his neck towards his lips."Yeah, I think so," then his lower half was being lifted into the air as Naruto slipped Sasuke's shorts off him and was kissing his knees.The blond's hands felt so warm against his cool skin, and the general temperature of the room was rising as they were taking off their clothes. Naruto bent down towards the beside table, opening the drawer and pulling out a lotion. "It's not lube, but it's also not spit, so I guess it's ok," the blond spoke mostly to himself, but Sasuke heard every word."Did you research this?" he was shocked that Naruto wasn't making any stupid comments about him being wet or anything along those lines."Well, duh, I don't want to hurt you. I want you to feel really good, Sas," that youthful grin stretched across his lips and Sasuke could've sworn that this was all a dream. His heart was so full of love, it felt ready to burst out of his chest, and falling deeper into the romantic mood, he pulled his legs apart. Giving a sultry look across towards his boyfriend, the blond went bright pink at his actions and rushed to get the lotion on his hand. "It's going to be cold," he gently warned before pressing a finger inside. Nobody had touched Sasuke like this, his only sexual experience was with Suigetsu but he was never the bottom. When imagining Naruto as his lover, his fantasies never specified who was doing what, but now that they were here, and it was very much real, being a bottom seemed both scary and fascinating simultaneously. Sasuke imagined that this was something he'd only ever do for the blond. Every other instance of a sexual encounter had him feeling so rigid, his experience with Sui had given him some confidence, but not enough to bottom. But with Naruto... yeah, there were some sacrifices Sasuke was willing to make. The raven moaned aloud as he felt more than two fingers breach inside him, and his eyes jolted towards Naruto who gave him a sadistic smile."I hope you're busy thinking about me and not someone else," he sulked, pumping three fingers in and out of Sasuke. The sensation was so much that he couldn't muster up a snarky enough response to the blond's statement, and resorted to moaning out Naruto's name over and over. Soon the pumping stopped, but then he felt something hard right at his entrance, and looking down, nearly went pale at the sight. Naruto's dick was larger than he had remembered, and it was not like Sasuke was constantly jumping at the chance to get a look. His memories of what the blond looked like down below was marred by different instances throughout their lives of seeing it.What was currently ready to enter him was a different beast entirely. It wasn't an unnatural size, but the thought of anything longer and thicker than a baby carrot going inside made Sasuke nearly faint."Having second thoughts?" Naruto mused and Sasuke felt his competitive side rise to the challenge."N-no, it's bigger than I thought..." he continued to stare down at his boyfriend's dick."Thanks for the compliment," the blond smirked, shuffling closer and holding Sasuke's thighs apart.He began to slowly push in, but the pain was unbearable, Sasuke could feel the tears gathering at the corners of his eyes but he didn't want to stop. Not when they were already here, the disappointment would be unbearable. But, the pain was just an intolerant too. "Sas, babe, let's save this for another day, when you're more used to it-" the blond grunted but Sasuke wasn't having it."Just push it in, I'll be fine!" he groaned, pushing his head back into the pillow to stifle the pain. His eyes were shut tightly but all he heard was a soft inhale and exhale, and then something huge plowed into his insides. Sasuke let out a scream that sounded partially like him, and partially like a woman from a bad porno. He wanted to hide his face under the pillow, but couldn't do much as Naruto began to pound him below. His body was jolting up and down, rocking like a boat at sea, and the only way to steady himself was to hold onto Naruto's shoulders. Grasping onto the muscular shoulder blades, and pushing his face into the crook of the blond's neck, Sasuke took multiple deep breaths before he began to feel some pleasure in the movement. Sure, it felt like he would never walk again, but Naruto was also hitting him at a certain angle that was having him see stars. His hands were slipping from his boyfriend's back, and before he could muster any words about it, Naruto was flipping him onto his stomach and pulling his ass up into the air. Ramming his dick back inside Sasuke again, the raven was gripping the sheets as he moaned aloud. Every thought that was in his head prior vanished immediately as the momentum and the feeling became too much, and soon, Sasuke came from the back. A first for him, and a significant factor in riling the blond up. The momentum didn't stop, if anything, the rhythm only became faster and sharper. Sasuke's dick was aching from the overstimulation and his head was dizzy from being pulled back and forth. He could feel the strain in his throat from his moans, but muffling his voice proved useless as Naruto kept a hold on the back of his neck to prevent him from pushing his face into the sheets. All Sasuke could do was cry out and enjoy the feeling of being pounded into. As Naruto's pace quickened, Sasuke came a second time with a jolt and then felt the blond shiver behind him. He collapsed onto the raven, heaving breaths and hot skin pressing against one another. Naruto rolled onto Sasuke's left side, and pulled the raven into his arms again. "For a first time... not too bad," he chuckled, pushing Sasuke's bangs back from his sweaty forehead.The raven was too dazed to say anything, let alone blink and found himself slowly falling asleep. Naruto was saying something to him, but with the strain of their physical activities and the calming scent of the blond's body, Sasuke closed his eyes and soon went into a deep slumber. "Y'know Sas, I'm going to love you forever... sooner or later, when I'm not shy about it anymore, I'll tell you that," the blond kissed his forehead, getting up slowly to grab a towel to wipe the raven's body with. Morning sunlight had faded into the afternoon, and the bright rays had become a softer orange in hue. The ingredients for breakfast lay on the counter, the cup of tea has become lukewarm, and on an XL twin mattress, too small for them, lay two lovers, fast asleep in each other's arms.