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The lights had gone out a few minutes ago, and most likely everybody was asleep. Except for Thanos. Thanos wasn’t the type of person to fall asleep right away. In fact, it normally took him at least an hour to fall asleep.He stared up at the metal end of the beds that were layered on top of eachother. Wrapped around the blanket everyone was given, (Which did not do shit. It was still terribly cold) he exhaled a shaky sigh. He looked around, seeing if any of his teammates were awake. They were not.Thanos sat himself up, his hands locking around his knees. He didn’t really know what to do with himself right now. Everyone was asleep, he was high, and bored. He fidgeted with his ring, staring down at his feet.Of course, not being in the complete right mindset, he grabbed his cross that was hiding underneath his shirt. Opening it, he was welcomed with different colored tablets. He grabbed another one, putting it to his mouth and taking it. He closed the cross back up and put it back under his shirt.He took another deep breath in, letting it settle. He slowly laid back down, his head hitting the uncomfortable mattress. He rested his hands on his stomach, feeling it move up and down as he breathed.He looked around again, not realizing that he was literally engulfed by darkness. It kinda freaked him out. A little too much. He sat himself up again, clutching his hands together. He was in complete silence, nothing was heard. No sounds were spoken out, the only thing he could hear was the ruffling of sheets every now and then.He didn’t like the fact that he could hear everything that was going on around him. He also didn’t like the fact he couldn’t see. He wasn’t fully aware that nobody else could be right beside him, so it just made him freak out. And the drugs wern’t even fully hitting him.He rubbed his thumb on his ring, feeling the cold metal. He let out a shaky sigh, shutting his eyes so he could somewhat calm down, at least a little bit.That did not work.If anything, it made it a little worse. He opened his eyes back up, fulling expecting to see somebody there. But he didn’t. Thank god.He brought his knees up to his chest, hugging them tightly. He hasn’t felt anything like this in ages. The last time was probably when he first started. So, why? Why was now the time to be tripping out like this? He didn’t like it.He didn’t like how quiet everything is, how dark it is. He wanted somebody to get his mind off this, somebody to talk to. He shuffled out of bed, silently walking to where Nam-gyu rested.He poked at Nam-gyu, seeing if he was awake.“Nam-su?” He whispered out.“Nam-suu.. Are you awake?”He stared at Nam-gyu, waiting for any movement.“..Nam-su.”Thanos poked him a little more rough, wanting him to be awake. He didn’t want anyone else.“C’mon.”“Wake up,”Nam-gyu slowly started waking up, rubbing his eyes and turning to look at Thanos.“What?” Nam-gyu mumbled, groggy.Thanos bit at the tip of his fingernails, looking over at Nam-gyu.“Can I.. Uh, stay right here? With you?” He asked, avoiding eye contact.Nam-gyu didn’t fully comprehend what Thanos said, but said yes cause.. Well, cause Thanos was asking.Thanos stayed standing up in front of the bed where Nam-gyu was still laying down. He looked down at Nam-gyu, who looked like he was about to fall asleep again.Thanos pushed Nam-gyu,“Don’t go back to sleep.”Nam-gyu groaned, rubbing his eyes again.“Fine- fine.”Nam-gyu sat up,“So, what’s up? ..Or did you just wake me up for no reason?”Thanos moved in closer to Nam-gyu instinctively,“I.. I don’t know, man. I just- I don’t feel very..”He paused, moving his hands around trying to find a word.“I just wanted to talk to you, Nam-su.”Umm ok gay. Nam-gyu became used to Thanos always calling him Nam-su. It wasn’t correct, but he got the first part right?? So score??“Nam-gyu..” Nam-gyu corrected, before looking over at Thanos.“You wanted to talk to me? What for?”Thanos shrugged, looking away.“Not any specific reason.”“Can’t a guy just wanna talk to his friend in the middle of the night? Isn’t that normal?”Nam-gyu nodded slowly.“Yes.. That is normal. I didn’t mean to make you think it wasn’t… Normal.”Thanos nodded his head repeatedly, not responding. He stared out into the darkness, he swore he saw something. Jesus christ ok. He looked away from the abyss, looking over at Nam-gyu.Thanos held Nam-gyu’s hands, staring at him. He didn’t say anything, he just held them, gently rubbing the top of Nam-gyu’s hands.Nam-gyu looked down at his hands, now intertwined with Thanos’. Okayyy. He looked back up at Thanos, stiffling a little smile.Thanos’ mind was racing with a million different thoughts all at once, it was so overwhelming. The main thought that kept coming back was the time he was about to kill himself, before he got recruited to join Squid Game.He didn’t like that thought. He didn’t like thinking of that specific part in his life, but it kept coming back.Nam-gyu noticed Thanos staring off into space, but just from the way his body was tensed up, he could tell Thanos wasn’t well.“Hey, are you okay?” Nam-gyu asked, snaking away one of his hands that Thanos was holding, and rubbed the side of Thanos’ arm.“C’mon, just-” Nam-gyu mumbled, tugging him a little bit so he gets the idea that Nam-gyu wants him on the bed.Thanos let go of Nam-gyu’s hand, sitting on his bed. His legs went up to his chest, looking at Nam-gyu.Nam-gyu moved in closer to Thanos, still rubbing his arm.“You, uh.. Look like somethings going on. Did you.. Wanna talk about anything?”Thanos nodded, but he didn’t even know where to start. So many things were circling around his head.“Not right now. I have too many thoughts– In a little bit.”Nam-gyu nodded, and was about to speak but then he got cut off.“But, uh.. Could we just..”Thanos paused, trying to word this not weirdly. He really didn’t want this to be weird. He slowly just went down, his head hitting the mattress.Nam-gyu didn’t get it at first, but then it hit him.“Oh. Yeah, sure.”He said, trying not to act all giddy. His head went down to the mattress soon after, his hands immediately snaking around Thanos’ waist, his chin resting on Thanos’ shoulder.Nam-gyu sighed contentedly, shutting his eyes. This was nice. He liked the feeling of being this close to Thanos, which normally he’s always this close to Thanos, but it’s better when he actually went for it first.Thanos fiddled with his fingers, breathing deeply.“Nam-su..”“Yeah?”Thanos grabbed Nam-gyu’s hands, putting them up to his chest.“I think I wanna talk about something now.”Nam-gyu nodded, gently tapping at Thanos’ chest with the tip of his fingers.“Okay.. Uhm. I don’t really know where to start. There’s just so many things that are going inside my mind right now,”Thanos huffed, shutting his eyes for moment.“I feel better. Now that you’re here. But, mainly I’ve just been thinking about.. Where I was. Before I got handed the card for this place. I was- I was in a really bad place in my life. I don’t like to think about it, but it won’t stop coming up. It’s like my mind wants me to remember. But, I don’t wanna remember. I wouldn’t like to remember.”Thanos explained, sighing. He never really got to talk about his feelings like this.“And it’s just- I haven’t felt like this in a really long time, man. Other than thinking about that, I realized that it gets really quiet when it’s night. I don’t like that.”He huffed, rubbing his eyes as he continued to talk,“Earlier, I did take another one of my tablets, which I normally do. But, for some reason, it doesn’t feel as good as it normally does! It’s like, making me freak out. I really don’t like it, Nam-gyu.”He turned around, now facing Nam-gyu, their faces mere inches apart.Nam-gyu was paying attention to everything he was saying, but the second Thanos turned around, his eyes immediately went down to his lips. Jesus CHRIIISSTTTT.Nam-gyu nodded, pulling his hands away from Thanos, only to gently nudge Thanos’ head down so he can rest it in the crook of Nam-gyu’s neck, then running his hands through Thanos’ hair.“It’s okay, man. I don’t fully get it, but.. I do want you to know..”Nam-gyu paused, thinking of the right words to say.“I’m here for you, okay? No matter what, dude. When we make it out here alive, I’ll.. I don’t know.. We’ll do something. I promise.”Thanos nodded, still burried in Nam-gyu’s neck.They stayed like that for the rest of the night, until it was morning again. Nam-gyu was gonna remember this forever. Jesus christ he is GAYYYYYYYYYYY.