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The windows of the van were down and the night was quiet as they drove to Gluttony. Stolas didn’t say anything, afraid that his thoughts would only worsen the mood and, by extension, Blitzø. He didn’t need to bring him down with his terrible thoughts. Blitzø had already had such a bad day as well.The foliage around them changed and Stolas leaned towards the window, breathing in the earthy scent that reminded him of his own gardens. There was an ache in his heart at the thought of rebuilding his gardens because of their destruction, but he was beginning to come to terms with it.He tried to breathe deeply; he didn’t want to trigger another attack. The air was cool on his face as Blitzø continued to drive deeper and deeper into the ring.The whole thing started because of those thoughts anyways. Stolas had finally returned to his palace after refusing to step talon in there. It was too much to try and reenter the place that was his “home” for so long when his home was at the new apartment he shared with his family.Blitzø didn’t want him to go alone, but Via had accompanied him. Blitzø had left in a huff that morning after Stolas told him he was going to take the day off from work. It made Stolas sad to see him leave on such an unhappy note, but before he left their apartment, Blitzø had sent him a heart text message. It made Stolas’ heart flutter softly in his chest, the little display of affection Blitzø always afforded him.As soon as Stolas stepped into the palace, his heart dropped. The palace had puddles of water everywhere, curtains hung astray, tapestries of him and Via were in complete disarray. Stolas couldn’t handle the look of it, but he continued because of Via.His gardens were destroyed. His office was ransacked. His bedroom was torn to shreds.But the thing that made everything worse was when he passed Via’s bedroom. The glow of black and purple magic was obvious and bright. When he walked close to it, he felt the magic lash out. It coiled tightly around his wrists and raised his arm, only to pause, shiver, and gently coil up his arm.Via came up behind him. “I had to do this to keep…them out. I didn’t know it could do that.”“Oh, Starfire…”He reached for her and she rushed into his arms. The idea of his daughter feeling unsafe in her own home made him sick. He was glad that Blitzø thought to look for the larger apartment and have Via move in with them and Loona.Stolas was proud of her, but hated himself for allowing it to come this far.When they returned home, Blitzø and Loona were already there, setting up pizza and snacks for their weekly movie nights. Via had walked into her room and Loona followed close behind. Stolas had never felt so grateful to have someone as precious as Loona in Via’s life.Blitzø walked up to him and Stolas noticed the bandages wrapped around the length of his left arm, from his hand to his shoulder. His tank top hung loosely off his frame as he held his free hand out to him.Stolas took his hand and held onto it like it was a lifeline and he was desperately trying to stay afloat. Blitzø explained that he had a few terrible clients and the last hit was a sneaky guy who got the jump on him. Blitzø fought it out with the client after that because he failed to tell them that his killer was a weapons collector.He didn’t want to say it, but Stolas knew it was because he was distracted. It was his fault that Blitzø got hurt.Stolas glanced at Blitzø from his peripheral, his bandaged hand was resting in his lap as he drove. He wished desperately that he could at least hold Blitzø’s hand. How selfish of him.Eventually, Blitzø slowed to a stop at the edge of a seemingly random spot along the road. Stolas turned to look at Blitzø, his eyebrow arching, obviously confused. “Are we there?” His eyes darted around the area beyond the van’s windows.Blitzø reached for Stolas’ hand and ignored Stolas’ question. “We both had a pretty shitty day, huh?”Stolas quickly intertwined their fingers and brought Blitzø’s hand to his beak, pressing a gentle kiss there. “That seems to be taking it lightly.”“I really wished you didn’t go to the palace alone.”“Darling, I needed to. And my powers have been restored. Via was with me as well.”Blitzø grumbled beside him, his grip tightening. “Why do you even have to go back?”Stolas sighed, looking down at their hands. “I needed to see the damages. Make arrangements for proper repairs. I need to try and restore it because it is Via’s home. The staff must also be reinstated and taken care of. No doubt traumatized by Stella’s and Andrealphus’ antics.”“Antics…” Blitzø muttered.“Oh, you know what I mean.” Stolas couldn’t keep the irritation out of his voice. So sue him, it was the wrong word and he’s tired. “I’ve already checked in with all of them. I’m paying for any necessary medical attention for the foreseeable future and ensuring they are getting pay for any possible time off.”Stolas looked out the window again. “I’m trying Blitzø. I promise. I spoke with each of them privately. It’s part of why I’m so emotionally strained. I can’t help but feel responsible.”He felt Blitzø’s grip tighten and he pulled on Stolas’ hand, forcing Stolas to look at him. Blitzø’s eyes glowed in the darkness, wide and sad. Stolas’ heart went out to him, why was he so upset?“I’m sorry Stolas. I shouldn’t have assumed. But it’s not your fucking fault for what that bitch and her little bitchlet did. I’m fucking…” He sucked in a deep breath, “I’m so fucking proud of you for taking responsibility and helping, but this is not on you, okay?”Stolas nodded, tears welling in his eyes. “You have no idea what your words mean to me.”Stolas was stunned as Blitzø leaned back slightly. Did he still do something wrong?“I just…” He let go of Stolas’ hand and grabbed the steering wheel roughly. The sudden chill on his talons churned his stomach with anxiety. What was going on? What did he do?“Did I- Have I done something wrong, Blitzø?” Stolas looked at Blitzø’s hand on the steering wheel and he almost stretched his hand out to take it again, but he stopped himself.“Yes,” Blitzø bit out, glaring forward. “Why are you being so fucking reckless? I get that you and Via have powers. And I get that I’m just a fucking imp against those assholes. But why can’t you just let me fucking help?”Stolas’ brow furrowed, so confused and annoyed at Blitzø’s words. “Pardon me, but what the actual fuck? You’re going to sit there and lecture me with you’re arm wrapped like it is?”Blitzø’s head whipped around, turning his glare to Stolas. “I fucking told you Stols, a client got a jump on me and we didn’t have all the fucking info from that shitty asshole.”“Mhm, and it had nothing to do with your being distracted?”“Distracted? What the fuck are you talking about?”“Oh please Blitzø.” Stolas rolled his eyes. Did Blitzø really think he was that thick? “You’re going lie to me and say you weren’t thinking of me. I thought we were past all of this lying.”Blitzø barred his teeth a bit. “Seriously? Lying? I’m not fucking lying Stolas. I just don’t want you to fucking worry and think it’s your fault.”Stolas threw his arms up in front of him and sat up again. “Well that doesn’t matter now does it? I’m not a fucking idiot.” Stolas crossed his arms, the red glow from his eyes painting the dashboard in front of him. “I know it’s my fault because I know that you were thinking of me as much as you won’t admit it.”“Well fine. Yeah, its your fault.” His heart sank in his chest. Stolas knew he was right but it didn’t hurt any less that Blitzø said it. “Your fault because you couldn’t just fucking wait for me.”Stolas sighed, bringing his hand up to pinch the skin between his lower eyes. “Blitzø, I needed to go today for Via’s sake. I couldn’t wait for you to finish your day because I didn’t know the extent of the damages.” He felt the feathers on his arm ruffle, his nerves getting the best of him. He was strung thin.“Oh don’t fucking go there. You didn’t go for Via.” He saw Blitzø’s tail lashing beside him and knew the imp was trying not to hit the steering wheel in front of him. Somewhere in his head, he was grateful for that, but still too annoyed to voice it.Stolas waved a hand in front of him, so utterly confused. “What do you mean I didn’t go for Via? Of course I did.”“No, you went for your fucking self. You went to see how your shit was.”Stolas flinched, did Blitzø really think so low of him? He bit back the frown and willed himself to keep the tears at bay. “I can assure you I cared so little about ‘my shit’ because of what I saw for Via,” he bit back. He felt the venom in his words.“So, it was so important for you to go today even though we live somewhere else.” Stolas heard the crack of Blitzø’s voice under the sarcasm. He hated the way that sounded.Stolas sighed, holding back his anger. “What don’t you understand about it being necessary for Via?”He heard Blitzø sigh behind him and turned to look at him. He was still holding the steering wheel with his free hand, but he noticed the way his tail had wrapped around it. A sign that he was really upset. Stolas almost reached for him again, but stopped at Blitzø’s harsh words. “Because I’m sure Via would’ve been fine with waiting. Did you even ask her?”Stolas reeled back. He hadn’t even thought of it. “Well…no. Because I assumed-”Blitzø scoffed, the sound annoying Stolas again. “See? You assumed? So you went for yourself.”Stolas felt the otherworldly power rolling under his skin. He wouldn’t dare think of using it against Blitzø, but he couldn’t deny the anger he was feeling. “Why do you keep saying that?”Blitzø laughed, loud and sarcastic. “It’s the only thing that makes sense Stolas! Why else would you go if you didn’t even talk to Via about it being today.” His tone was exasperated.Stolas pushed further, unable to keep the annoyance out of his own voice, “Because I needed to see everything.”Blitzø glared at him, “But why? Why did you need to see everything today? Without me?”Why was that such a big deal? Why did he keep bringing up that he went without him? It would have all been so much easier if Blitzø had been there! “It was necessary to see it for myself, okay? Why is that so hard for you to comprehend?”“Because you could have waited!” Blitzø’s hand came off the steering wheel. He balled his hand up into a fist and kept it tightly on his lap. Again, Stolas knew he was grateful for not physically lashing out, but he couldn’t care to say that now. “Why are you being fucking impatient?”Stolas seethed, “Blitzø I can assure you it’s not me being impatient.”He turned to lay his glowing yellow eyes on Stolas. “Then what? Huh? Tell me.”“Why is it so important?” Stolas questioned, his voice raising slightly.“Why is it so important for you to go?” Blitzø bit back. He turned back to the steering wheel and squeezed his eyes shut, his tail tightened around his arm.“Because it’s our home-”“YOU have a fucking home!” Blitzø half-yelled.Stolas froze. Not because Blitzø yelled, he was surprised that he had held back yelling for so long and was grateful for that again. But, no, he had frozen at Blitzø’s words. Stolas knew that. Blitzø had always heard Stolas call their place his home. It is his home.Blitzø’s pressed his forehead to the steering wheel, unable to keep the emotion out of his voice, “And it’s with me…why are you trying to leave? I thought…we were…”Stolas couldn’t find his voice. He was screaming in his head. That’s a lie! I want to stay. I’m not leaving! However, he couldn’t get the words out. This was like a nightmare and he was struggling to utter a sound.Blitzø turned to look at him, his head still pressed on against the steering wheel. His eyes were shining with unshed tears, “If you want to go back Stolas, why can’t you just tell me? Why play around with it?”Stolas finally sucked in a breath, finding his voice. “Blitzø, darling, that’s not… I didn’t mean for you to take it this way. It was my home. It’s not anymore.”“How do I know that?” Blitzø whispered.Stolas couldn’t keep the small amount of desperation out of his voice, he needed Blitzø to understand him, “I never thought you would take it this way. I didn’t mean for it in that way. Ever.”Blitzø sighed, looking down at his hand which was no longer in a tight fist. Stolas hoped there was no harm he caused himself from his claws. “Stolas I just…I’m so used to people leaving.” Blitzø sighed, “Most of the time it’s because I push them away. But I’m trying to be better. Loona, Moxxie, Millie…I’ve gotten better.”Blitzø flexed his fingers, unable to look away from them. “But you…you’re you and we’re us…you have options. Places you can go. Being in a relationship and not pushing away is hard because I don’t want to push you away. The idea of you leaving terrifies me. But if you want to go, I’ll let you.”Stolas couldn’t bare to not hold onto Blitzø, couldn’t stand the distance between them any longer. He reached out and grabbed Blitzø’s arm gently. He felt his tail flex beneath his palm, but he didn’t pull away. Stolas was glad he was afforded that.“No, no, I never want to leave you.” Blitzø turned to look at him again. His eyes were so restless, moving back and forth between both of Stolas’ own. “I want to be with you. Always. I didn’t mean for it to be this way. I should’ve spoken to you about it.”Blitzø looked down at Stolas’ hand against his arm. “I should’ve just stayed in the office if I couldn’t go with you. You’re right. I was distracted. Not all of it was my fault, but still.”Stolas couldn’t help but tighten his grip on Blitzø’s arm. “But that was my fault.”Blitzø’s tail unwound itself from his arm to wrap around Stolas. “No. You’re not gonna do that. Yeah I was thinking of you, but that is not on you. Okay?”Stolas nodded, mutely.Blitzø sighed again. “I didn’t mean to make your day worse Stols. I’m sorry for all of this. You already had a bad day.”Stolas shook his head. His voice was soft as he spoke. “No, it’s okay. I should have been more conscience of your feelings. Besides its better that we get this out now. Before it festers and becomes something else.”“Well…I still want to make you feel a little bit better.”Stolas slid down the seat, his long frame stretching across the seat as he rested his head on Blitzø’s shoulder. He felt Blitzø turn his head and press a light kiss to his head feathers. Stolas smiled slightly as he stared forward, focusing on a raised piece of rubber on the steering wheel.“This helps though.”Blitzø didn’t say anything and Stolas feared that he was still upset at him.“I’m sorry you had a shitty time today, Stols. I wish I could’ve gone with you…”Stolas looked up at Blitzø, “It honestly would have been so much easier if you had been there. But darling, you had things to get done. I wish I could’ve been at work today to help you.”Blitzø bit his lip and looked at Stolas from the corner of his eye. Something was bothering him and Stolas felt nothing but concern. He placed a palm against his cheek and turned his face so he would look at him. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”Blitzø’s eyes moved away from Stolas before looking back at him. “I want to do something for you that helps me after a rough day. Do you wanna try?”Stolas tilted his head in confusion, “Is that why you brought me here?”Blitzø shrugged, “One of the reasons.”“That’s so sweet of you,” Stolas smiled up at him and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. Blitzø blushed and Stolas found it completely endearing. “I would love to.”Blitzø gave a shy smile and shifted so Stolas could sit up. “Here’s how it goes: we’re at this place in Gluttony where the road barely turns. I’m gonna play some music and drive fast.”Stolas tilted his head again, “Okay…?”“Well, the important part is that the windows are down and we are leaning out of them.”“While you’re driving?”“Yep.” Blitzø started the car again.“You’re leaning out of the window too?”“Mhm.” He lined himself on the street and Stolas could see nothing but open road in front of them, surrounded by trees and carnivorous plants he loved so much.“How will you drive?”Blitzø turned to Stolas and grinned, his tail waving in front of him.Stolas swallowed hard, “Are you sure that’s wise?”Blitzø laughed, “I’ve been doing this for a long fucking time. I promise to take care of babe.”Stolas’ heart fluttered at the endearment, heat flushing his face. He would never get used to Blitzø being so sweet. He absolutely adored him.“Okay. I trust you darling.”Blitzø’s smile widened. “Let’s fucking go!”Immediately, the van took off. Blitzø’s tail went down and pressed down on the gas pedal. With his good hand still on the wheel, he leaned out the window, threw his other arm up and yelled.Stolas blinked at him. He leaned out of the window, the wind immediately pushing his feathers back. All of his eyes watered, but he saw Blitzø on the other side of the van smiling at him. Stolas smiled back and returned his gaze forward.The trees rushed past him and the wind was cool on his face. He took a deep breath and looked at the stars above him.With the rush of wind and leaning out of the car as well as the stars rushing past him, he felt everything fall off his shoulders.He knew that his problems would catch up with him. He knew that he had things to figure out.But right now, with Blitzø and the plants and the stars, he felt infinite.He smiled and stretched his arms out, flexing his talons and enjoying the wind rushing past feathers. He couldn’t bring himself to yell like Blitzø was doing but he still enjoyed the rush of adrenaline.Stolas felt like in this moment, nothing could catch them. They were untouchable. It was only them and the stars and the wind.He could feel the wind making his limbs numb from the cold but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Stolas didn’t move until Blitzø knocked on the roof and motioned for them to get back in.Stolas took one last look at the stars before returning to his seat inside the van. Blitzø was there beside him, still smiling brightly at him.Stolas smiled at him as Blitzø came to a stop. He leaned over and wrapped his tail around Stolas’ waist, pulling him closer. “You’re important to me Stols. I need you to know that. I want to do things like this with you because I really need to be there with you.”Stolas leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to Blitzø’s lips. It was soft and light, a kiss that promised there was no where to go, that they had time.He pulled away, pressing his forehead to Blitzø’s, rubbing his feathers against his forehead mark. “I’ll make sure to have you there with me, darling. I wouldn’t want it any other way.”He heard Blitzø let out a breath slowly. Stolas nuzzled his face again, coaxing him back up for another soft kiss.