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Everything went wrong. The past changed, it was not the one he knew, not one that he could control. Where did he go wrong? Cheng Xiaoshi nearly died because of him. Bridon changed, little by little, nothing aligned with his memories, the one constant in his dives. All his diary entries, notes on how things will go, every minute detail was all for naught. Anomalies consumed this timeline, all that was left were scraps of a memory lost in the sands of time.Bringing his shaky hands together, Lu Guang hesitated. Hundreds of ‘what if’ scenarios flooded his mind, plaguing him with fears, one of which was Vein waiting for him. Anxieties penetrated through his resolve, consuming him. His throat constricted, a knot forming in it, choking him as he felt his vision blur with tears, his nose began to clog as sobs racked through the empty room.
Stuck in a desolate little room, he sat in the right corner, holding his knees to his chest. No warmth surrounded him, only coldness, the reality he was living in was a failed one.
“I can start again… I can save him…” He mumbled to himself, every word getting stuck in his throat. Once upon a time, he spoke this with hope but now, it was just an excuse to live through a life with Cheng Xiaoshi, an excuse to stay in a timeline with him, to replace the Lu Guang of that timeline.
Closing his eyes shut, the muscles in his body coiled tightly as he brought his hands together once more. Taking in one last breath, a soft clap rang through the room, taking him away from this nightmare.Hesitantly, he opened his eyes, his bedroom, once shared with Cheng Xiaoshi, was a mess, his notes thrown around and the dozens of photos he dived into scattered on the desk. A gentle click of a revolver permeated through the silence, the metal nuzzle pressing against the back of his head.“Back so soon?” A familiar voice cooed, so smooth and velvety. Lu Guang’s body visibly tensed, the hairs on the back of his neck rising, he could hear his heart pounding in his ears, resounding in every cell.
Clenching his fists, the white haired boy spun around, bringing his hand up to vent out his frustrations on his tormentor: Vein. The man behind every grievance in his life; Cheng Xiaoshi’s killer. The mere sight of Lu Guang trying to hit Vein amused him, a mocking chuckle came from the older man. His red, braided hair flowed in the dark bedroom, moving with grace like a ballerina, precise and agile, angelic even; a mockery to the boy before him. His black coat danced in the air, mimicking a bull fight between him and Lu Guang.“Your little boyfriend put up a better fight than this, Lu Guang.” Condescension dripped from his words, further fueling the boy’s hatred towards him.He threw every attack in the book at Vein, his movements sloppy and slow the longer the ‘fight’ slogged on. Vein only laughed and dodged every weak attempt of Lu Guang’s, watching as he grew tired and began to pant, his punches barely even coming close to Vein. It was a pathetic sight. How pitiful he was, full of juvenile hope to save a dead man. The red haired man slipped past another one of Lu Guang’s sluggish right hooks, the movement growing predictable and boring.
“Aren’t you tired of losing? I love to see you struggle, but is it not annoying for you?” Vein mocked as he kicked the tired boy, watching him stagger and barely regain a semblance of balance.“Fuck… you…” Lu Guang retorted, breathless and weak. His, somewhat, childish response made the killer before him grin, a wide and toothy one, showing off his sharp canines like that of a predator.
“Suit yourself.”
Lu Guang’s vision blurred, his room became an amalgamated mess of colour. It happened so fast, Vein spoke and something hit him — what was it? He could not tell you — his limp body collapsed onto the cold, wooden floor, his heated skin cooling upon contact with it.Crouching down, the soft chime of his earring filled the room, observing Lu Guang carefully.
The metal barrel of his revolver kissed the temple of Lu Guang’s head, pushing it a bit. His head rolled back and forth, his neck barely able to support itself like a baby.
“Poor Lu Guang.” His deep voice echoed in the air, the last thing he heard before all consciousness seeped out of him.In the comfort of Vein’s isolated home, his kitchen became a butchery. In the middle of it, there hung Cheng Xiaoshi’s naked body, his hair clumped together, his lips blue, his bullet wound frozen over. Vein, wearing an apron, gloves and his red hair tied up into a neat bun, began to sharpen his cleaver. On his chopping board was Cheng Xiaoshi’s left leg. He brought the blade to the ankle, severing his foot from the rest of the leg; he repeated it, cutting off the lower leg from the thigh in one slice. Angling his cleaver, he dragged it along the femur, removing Cheng Xiaoshi’s thigh, although muscular, it will do, it will just be tough to chew on. It was rather unfortunate that due to his build, the yield of meat felt less than what Vein would get out of most of his victims. Vein, as usual, would save the best part for himself: the ass — the most tender part of the human body, containing the most fat.
Vein also sliced through the lower leg, cutting out the calf; it was, similar to the thigh, rather muscular but who could tell the difference. He grabbed his meat mallet and began to flatten the two cuts of Cheng Xiaoshi’s flesh, tenderising and softening it. He then seasoned it with salt and pepper, heating up his frying pan, putting a generous amount of butter. He proceeded to cook Cheng Xiaoshi’s thigh and calf, searing the meat on both sides before basting it with butter, garlic and rosemary. Similar to cooking a steak, he also made a red wine reduction sauce, along with roasted potatoes.
With a great sense of pride, he plated the food, ready for Lu Guang to eat; ready to eat his beloved.Lu Guang awoke, a throbbing pain in his ankles and his head. As his eyes adjusted to the light, he saw a long dining table, lined with a red velvet cloth and a golden, five armed candle arm lit in the dim room. He also noticed two scented candles, vanilla began to flood his nose, the sensation was numbing and soothing, reminding him of Qiao Ling, how she loved to decorate the photoshop with them, notably vanilla scents.
He desperately tried moving his legs, only to feel a pure agony in his ankles. He frantically looked down, seeing a bloodied rope digging into his achilles tendon, the sight making his stomach churn, threatening to throw up the empty contents of his stomach.Screams echoed in the dining room, guttural ones, it was a symphony of anguish and torture. His chest rapidly rose and fell. The world was spinning around him. He could taste his undigested food on his tongue. His wrists moved in a frenzy but it was to no avail, he was tied to the chair, stuck in this hell.Amidst his cries, he heard a cackle as the door swung open. Entered the red haired devil, the man responsible for his torment, his signature manic grin plastered on his pale skin, his eyes gleaming with joy. He held out two plates of what looked like steak dressed with some sauce and a side of roasted potatoes.
“What is this?” Lu Guang choked out.“Food.”“I can see that.”“Well, that’s settled then.” The older man mocked.“I can’t eat with my hands tied.”“And I wouldn’t risk you running away.” A hint of sadism sparkled in his eyes, his awareness towards Lu Guang’s torn achilles would make escape near impossible.“Why are you feeding me?”“It’s called treating guests.”Vein grabbed a knife and fork, slicing a small bite-sized piece of Cheng Xiaoshi. He brought the piece of cooked flesh to Lu Guang’s lips. “Say ‘ah’.” He taunted. “Come on, Lu Guang, I’m being very generous by even giving you steak of all foods.”“I don’t-” The opportunity presented itself and Vein readily took it, shoving the fork into the white haired boy’s mouth. The taste of the meat felt foreign, alien and even wrong like it was the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden. His taste buds numbed at the sensation of it in his mouth, he could only feel the toughness of it as he chewed on it.“It’s good right? My guests love it when I cook steak, they always say that my recipe is Michelin Star level.” His voice dripped with confidence.
He went ahead and cut himself a bit of the steak and ate it too. His face contorted into pleasure but it was off. It was not a normal look of pleasure, not one brought out by eating good food or one’s favourite food, it was something reminiscent of sadism, a sense of pleasure for Lu Guang’s misery; he could taste his tears, the sadness and desperation in Lu Guang, the time slipping past the boy’s hands, the grief. Oh, how delectable it all was, a symphony of flavour for Vein to consume.“It’s disgusting.”
“I thought it was quite tasty.”“It’s bland.”
Vein’s lips curled into a feral grin, those sharp fangs of a predator glinting in the candle light. “It’s quite difficult to make such a cut of meat taste good. I went through the trouble to preserve the body, waiting for this little dinner party.” He spoke, his words punctuated by the scrapping of metal utensils against the ceramic plate.
“Seems like someone isn’t as good of a chef as he thought.” Another opportunity to shove the fork into Lu Guang’s mouth, the prods tugging and pulling against the skin of his inner cheek.
Vein pulled the fork out of the boy’s mouth, seeing the crimson blood dripping from two prods, the colour matching his hair. “Come on, Lu Guang, Eat up. I made this for you.” He said, bringing the fork to his lips, tasting the sweetness of the boy’s blood.“Why did you host this stupid dinner party?” Lu Guang was met with silence, only Vein’s soft footsteps snaking behind him.
“Just being generous, consider it an olive branch but you can’t even consider the prospect of a sort of… truce between us.” His words drawn out, looking for a way to persuade the unsuspecting boy. “I suppose peace between us is not an option. You won’t let bygones be bygones.”
A gentle click of Vein’s earring hung in the air, his hands reaching out to tighten the bounds around Lu Guang’s ankles, the friction rubbing against the severed achilles tendon. The white haired boy’s facade of confidence shattered into pathetic cries and wails. The room began to twist before Lu Guang’s eyes, colours mixing together into a spiralling hell, the tortuous tightening of his bounds sent every nerve ending screaming in him, feeling it in his soul.
He felt his very being shake, writhing under the increased pressure onto his open wounds, the burning sensation igniting in his ankles, searing more of his flesh.His voice felt hoarse, his body was on fire, once numb was now spasming in waves of unending anguish; forever in pain, in grief, forever tortured under the hands of Vein. Crimson hair flowing around him like tantalising smoke, constricting his lung, squeezing out the air, watching all life deplete from the boy’s eyes.
“Is… Cheng Xiaoshi… still dead…?” Lu Guang managed to croak out.“No, he’s alive. Do you want to see him?”
“Yes!” He cried out, believing Vein’s words in an instant, blinded by hope. Tears began to fill up in his eyes, blurring the world around him.Vein’s red eyes filled with glee, lighting up at Lu Guang’s instant response. He left to the kitchen, unhooking Cheng Xiaoshi’s body, feeling the weight of it against his own, its icy touch against his heated one. Vein, feeling his sadism take root in his heart, dragged the dead boy into the dining room, blood dripping out from the juncture where his left leg was once there, painting the floor red.
“Here he is!” He spoke cheerfully, celebrating the presence of Cheng Xiaoshi to Lu Guang.“Where is his leg…?” He managed to say, his lips trembling, his eyes glistening tears as they flowed down his cheeks.“Right there.” He pointed to the plate of ‘steak’.Bile rose up and all undigested pieces of Cheng Xiaoshi re-entered his mouth, a burning sensation spreading on the back of his throat and the roof of his mouth. Turning his head, he felt his body lose control and contents from the previous hour came out of his mouth. Strangled sobs mixed with Lu Guang’s gags filled the room, the sounds of sweet harmony to Vein's ears, one filled with sorrow. The rotting scent of Cheng Xiaoshi’s body mingled with the white haired boy’s vomit, overwhelming the sweet vanilla scent from the candles. The amalgamation of scents only forced out more churned up food to rise from his stomach.Vein’s hand glided across Cheng Xiaoshi’s face, his touch against his cheeks and lips a gentle caress. “Guangguang, I’m here!” The older man mimicked the once lively boy’s voice, his fingers pursing the lips to move as if they were uttering the words. Guangguang. The nickname echoed in Lu Guang’s ears, memories flooded into his mind, fond ones with the man he wanted to save, the man he loved.
“Guangguang please… Just help me this time, please?” Cheng Xiaoshi pleaded to Lu Guang, using the nickname the moment he heard it to placate the other boy.
Such a simple and childish nickname; one he did not appreciate enough. It was always the perfect way to soften Lu Guang, to make him agree to any ridiculous idea that Cheng Xiaoshi concocted, every time the name ‘Guangguang’ slipped past his lips, the affection in his tone, the reliance and neediness in the boy whenever he uttered the name; it reduced the usually stoic boy into a gushing mess internally.
“I’m sorry Cheng Xiaoshi. I wish you knew how much I loved it when you called me ‘Guangguang’.” Lu Guang’s regrets infected his psyche, his thoughts plagued with such feelings.
“Why can’t I have more time?”
Time was his to control, manipulate and bend to his will and yet, it was never enough, nothing is ever enough. He never had enough fucking time.
“Aren’t I tasty, Guanguang?” Vein cooed, mirroring Cheng Xiaoshi’s tone, eerily replicating a sense of warmth, of comfort in such words; he encapsulated Cheng Xiaoshi.The image of Vein twisted before the white haired boy’s eyes, the long red hair shortened, becoming dyed black, its braid falling out into a short ponytail. His clothes melting into Cheng Xiaoshi’s favourite jacket, his height shrinking down a couple of inches. His eyes gleamed with hope for the first time, the sight of his love before him, so raw and alive, pure light beaming from his body like the sun; there was no mistaking it — perhaps it was the blood loss creating such a phantom, or perhaps his torturer has forced upon the perception that Cheng Xiaoshi is alive.
“C-Cheng Xiaoshi…” Lu Guang’s voice dropped to a whisper, unable to believe his eyes. He was alive. Hundreds of dives, maybe even thousands — the number blurred in time — and he did it, Cheng Xiaoshi was saved.
The world around him flatlined, noises became muddy and hazy, the only thing he could hear was echoes of Cheng Xiaoshi’s sweet voice whispering to him, the only distinct word was ‘Guangguang’. The boy’s eyelids grew heavy, his line of sight slowly fading from the dim light emitted by the candles to darkness, colours of his lover dissolving into the darkness; the very image of hope falling into the pits of disparity. Cheng Xiaoshi's pristine body, once alive, began to rot, his limbs falling apart, his blood vessels and bones visible to Lu Guang, his skin peeling off from his flesh, baring his internal organs to the white haired boy.
“Cheng Xiaoshi… I need you…” He pleaded to the corpse in front of him, his voice cracking under pressure, the dryness of his throat paining him to speak above a whisper. “I love you… please come back…”
Lu Guang, the man who dived one too many timesLu Guang, the man who fell in love with a dead man.
Lu Guang, the man who ate his lover.