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Kyungah is not very happy about what is happening right before her eyes. This was supposed to be a fun day at the pool at their totally overpriced all-inclusive hotel with lots of drinks before it’s even midday and at least one of them getting sunburned. Instead, she is sweating profusely in the heat that is unbearable at only 11 a.m., she is kind of drunk on just two margaritas, and she has to watch Baekhee flirt with a pretty girl she picked up from God knows where.The girl has beautiful short, silver-dyed hair, the whitest teeth Kyungah has ever seen, and big boobs. Very big boobs, which is something Kyungah knows Baekhee likes and which is also something she, unfortunately, does not have.Chanhee tells her regularly to stop criticizing herself for her non-existent chest, and she is right, but Kyungah just can’t help it when the woman she’s secretly been in love with for years announces at least once a day how much she likes boobs. At least she got lucky in the butt department, even if that means none of her jeans fit her properly.All in all, Kyungah is hot, dizzy, and jealous right now. Something that her best friend, of course, immediately picked up on, judging by the way Chanhee glances at her every two seconds.“Y’know you could just tell her that you’ve been dreaming about fucking her since you first saw her instead of sulking around.”Kyungah slowly, very slowly, turns toward the taller woman. She enjoys the way Chanhee flinches back from her gaze and lifts both hands up in the air. “Okay, I take it back, sorry. Gosh, you haven’t looked at me like that since I told you I hooked up with Jongin again.”“Don’t mention that asshole’s name. I don’t wanna hear shit about your stupid ex anymore. Did he try to text you again or what?”Chanhee’s entire face turns red, and suddenly, the pool is much more interesting than Kyungah, which tells her everything she needs to know.“Gimme your phone!”“No, you don’t understand. He said it was all a misunderstanding, what happened with Haeun, and-”Kyungah doesn’t wait for more; she just launches herself at her best friend, who squeals and uses the advantage of her unfairly long legs to get away from her.Their squabble is interrupted when Baekhee suddenly appears right between them. Her short pink hair is wet, standing up all around her head, and her bikini bottom is sitting dangerously low on her hips.Kyungah stops mid-motion and prays to every god out there that her hair is still in the neat ponytail she tied it in this morning and didn’t get ruined by Chanhee’s clumsy fingers.“Whatcha guys doin’? Fightin’ ‘cause of that prick ‘gain?” Baekhee asks around the piece of gum in her mouth.“None of you get him! He’s not a prick, he’s just misunderstood!” Chanhee whines, clutching her phone to her chest and glaring at both of them.“No boys talk during our first ever trip together. We swore on that!”“But Seeun is babbling about Junmyeon non-stop,” Chanhee grumbles.“Junmyeon is her boyfriend, and you know that Seeun is a clingy one,” Baekhee argues back.They all know that. Seeun is, in fact, up in the room she shares with Chanhee right now, face timing her boy toy as if they haven’t seen each other in three years instead of three days.Kyungah sighs. She would probably be the same with Baekhee if she showed any interest in her, which she doesn’t. Instead, she is waving toward the stunning woman she was talking to earlier. Kyungah just can’t catch a break.“Put your phone away, and get in the water! The girl over there, Minnie, wants us to meet the friends she’s here with. We could go out with them tonight!” Baekhee is ecstatic at the prospect of partying in a large group. Kyungah isn’t.The first time she ever felt jealous regarding Baekhee was when they were out partying two years ago when they were still in college. They had been roommates for over a year, and Kyungah had witnessed Baekhee kissing (and doing things she’d rather not think about) with other women. But she never felt jealous before. Not until that night in the club when she watched Baekhee genuinely laugh at a joke some blonde-haired beauty made. Acid rose in her throat, her heart beat fast with anger, and her mouth turned into a frown. The same one she is wearing right now while she eyes this Minnie girl and her friend group. They all look like goddamned supermodels. She doesn’t even stand a chance.Kyungah wants to say no to fun in the pool and going out tonight, but she can’t. She can never say no to Baekhee, which is why she’s all dressed up in a black crop top and tight, short pants a few hours later after she spent hours avoiding Minnie. Seeun says the pants make her butt look even bigger, which is what Kyungah wants. She also put on a pair of black combat boots, which Baekhee made fun of when she packed them because “we’re going on a beach holiday, Kyungie, what do you need those for?”Around her neck is a choker, her fingers are decked out in rings, and she went all out on her makeup with dark lips and even darker eyes.Her normal everyday life doesn’t allow her to bring out her alternative side very often, but she’s on holiday, she’s lovesick, and she wants to get fucked up, so she even took the time to change the little stud piercing under her lip to a ring that clacks against her teeth but makes her look “hot as fuck,” according to Chanhee.There is a long line outside the club when they arrive, and the music is so loud they can hear it from down the street. Kyungah sighs when they get in line. It moves quickly, though, and soon they’re at the front.“ID?” The big, bulky guy at the entrance asks. She starts rummaging through the little fanny pack she has with her. She searches and searches, and with every passing second, her heart beats faster. There’s her phone, the hotel key card, some money she put in a smaller compartment, which should also hold her ID, but the only thing in there is her library card from home and a hair tie. Shit, did she pack the library card instead of her ID in her hurry earlier?“Kyungie, you okay?” She glances up at Baekhee’s question, palms sweaty with embarrassment and frustration directed at herself.“I forgot it. In the hotel. I’m sorry,” she mumbles, voice wavering slightly under all the attention that is on her. Shit, they must all think she’s so dumb.“No ID, no entry. Next,” the bouncer calls out, already looking at the group of boys behind them. Kyungah can hear them snicker, and she bites the inside of her cheek against the flood of humiliation that washes over her.“We can go back to the hotel together to get it,” Seeun suggests.“No, you guys go ahead. I’ll go to the hotel and stay in for the night. Wasn’t in a mood to party anyway,” she smiles tiredly and makes a dismissive gesture when her friends protest. “It’s alright. You have fun; I’ll go watch a movie, okay? And don’t you dare wake me up when you come home at 3 a.m. No bringing hook-ups to our room,” she glares at Baekhee when she says that before quickly turning around and walking away, a bit unsteady on her feet.She lied, of course. Even though she wasn’t in the mood earlier, getting ready got her there. She would’ve loved to drink and dance with the girls even though she would’ve probably swallowed one shot of tequila too many while watching Baekhee flirt with that Minnie girl or God knows who else. This way she doesn’t have to endure that at least.“Kyungie, wait up!”She whips her head around so fast her neck cracks, and she scrunches her nose in pain. She’s getting old, and it clearly shows. But she doesn’t have time to concentrate on the slight sting because Baekhee is running after her as fast as she can with the ridiculously high heels she’s wearing.“I’m coming with you!” She states when she finally stops in front of Kyungah.“What? No, don’t be stupid. I don’t have a problem being alone and-”Baekhee doesn’t let her finish her sentence. “You know you’re not gonna convince me whatever you say, so stop trying. Let’s grab some snacks on the way back and watch movies and shit talk.”With that, it’s decided. Baekhee grabs her hand and drags her along while chattering endlessly. Kyungah can’t help the small smile that blooms on her face, warmth spreading through her chest. She chose her over a party and a possible hook-up with a hot girl. She tries not to interpret too much into that; she knows Baekhee is just a good friend, nothing more, but still. She can let herself dream a little.As they walk down the dimly lit streets, the buzz of the party fades behind them, leaving just the quiet rhythm of their footsteps. Kyungah clutches the strap of her fanny bag, doing her best to ignore the way her heart is pounding. Baekhee's hand is still gripping hers, fingers warm and soft against her palm, and despite her earlier resolve to remain distant, a tiny thrill courses through Kyungah's chest at the closeness.Baekhee, completely oblivious to Kyungah's inner turmoil, continues talking as though nothing happened, her voice light and carefree. "We can grab some instant ramen too! I’m in the mood for something spicy. And-" she pauses mid-sentence to glance sideways at Kyungah. "You good?"She forces a smile, nodding her head. "I’m fine," she says, but the words sound weak even to her own ears. She wants to brush it off, but it’s harder than usual. Maybe it’s too much sun from this morning, or the disappointment of not getting into the club, or the years and years of repressed feelings that decide to surge up now, threatening to swallow her whole.Baekhee doesn’t buy it. She stops walking and pulls Kyungah to a halt too. "What's going on? You didn’t protest about getting instant ramen, and you usually always lecture me about health and shit when I wanna eat that. And you’re all… weird." Her eyes are serious now, the usual playful tone gone from her voice.For a split second, Kyungah considers saying nothing, letting the silence stretch between them until they reach the hotel. But then she remembers the look on Baekhee’s face earlier. How she’d been talking to Minnie, laughing in a way she sometimes laughs when it’s just the two of them, late at night, after enough wine has loosened them up and they giggle about anything and everything. The jealousy she’d buried deep down resurfaces, and before she can stop herself, the words come spilling out."You want to fuck her, don’t you?" she asks, her voice barely above a whisper. She can't meet Baekhee's eyes; instead she stares at the ground, where the dim glow of the streetlights flickers off the pavement.Baekhee blinks, caught off guard. "Huh?"Minnie. She’s just one of the many girls Baekhee picked up over the years. And even if Minnie would’ve said no, there are enough other pretty women in that club."I saw you with her. You were laughing, and it was," Kyungah continues, trying to keep her voice steady, though it cracks around the edges, "you were really into her. And I-" She cuts herself off, shaking her head. "Forget it. I’m just being stupid."The silence between them stretches long enough that Kyungah can feel her skin prickling with heat, the words swirling inside her like a storm. She wants to take it back, wants to pretend she didn’t say anything at all like she usually does when too much of her true thoughts spill out. But Baekhee’s fingers, still holding hers, tighten slightly, and she steps closer. Close enough that Kyungah can feel her breath on her face."You’re not stupid, Kyungie," Baekhee mumbles softly, the hint of concern in her voice growing. "I-" She pauses, looking uncertain for the first time since they started walking. "Look, I didn’t think you were, like, watching me back there. I wasn’t trying to make you feel... bad.""You didn’t," Kyungah interrupts quickly, shaking her head, her voice trembling despite her best efforts. "I just-" She stops, fighting the lump in her throat. "Fuck, I’m being stupid. Of course you can get with a girl or whatever. I don’t even care. Sorry, I’m tired, I can’t think clearly. We can get ramen and whatever you want. Just forget it."Baekhee’s expression hardens, and she reaches out, cupping Kyungah’s cheek gently with one hand. The touch is tender, even if her expression isn’t. "Kyungah," she says, her voice firm. "You’re lying."Kyungah closes her eyes, trying to steady her breath. She doesn’t know what the hell is going on and why Baekhee is looking at her like that. If she’s lucky, this is all a dream, and she is currently getting a heat stroke at the pool."You’re lying, and I’m lying too, and I- yeah, I wanted to hook up with Minnie. There are a lot of people I wanna hook up with, and I laugh with them and flirt and all that shit, but I don’t wanna be with any of them. I wanna be… I-" She curses and looks down for a moment, her fingers pressing lightly into Kyungah’s cheek."I wanna be with you. I like you."The words fall between them like a bomb, and Kyungah blinks, utterly stunned. This is usually the part in her dreams where she either wakes up or something absurd happens that makes her realize she’s just dreaming. There is nothing, though. Nothing but the chatter of other people walking along the street, the cool night air on her skin, and Baekhee’s big brown eyes focused on her with an almost pleading look in them."What?" she whispers, unable to form a real question.Baekhee shrugs helplessly, the hand she still has on Kyungah’s face falling down to her side. "You think I don’t notice? The way you stare at me when I’m with other people? How you get pouty and silent when I mention dating someone? Kyungah, you’re not good at hiding your feelings.""But if you know that, why…?" She can’t finish the sentence, can’t even control it spilling out of her. If Baekhee knows she likes her and never told her, that can only mean she isn’t into her, right? That she doesn’t like her back? That Kyungah’s worst fear is true."I’m scared of what I feel for you." Baekhee’s voice cracks with sincerity, and Kyungah feels her heart lurch in her chest. "I don’t want to lose our friendship. I know it sounds stupid, but after watching Dae and Yixing break up and hating each other afterward and the whole friend group almost falling apart ‘cause of all that… I was scared. I am scared. I don’t want that for us."Baekhee shakes her head, cutting Kyungah off when she tries to say something. "I thought maybe if I ignored my feelings, they’d just go away. Or I’d fall for someone else, or you’d lose interest. But it only got worse. And I like you so, so much. It hurts, and when I’m with someone else, I can’t help thinking about you. I know that’s wrong. I’m sorry. I should’ve told you earlier. I’m really, really sorry." She looks down, biting her lip, and it seems like she’s about to start crying.Kyungah feels the ground shift beneath her. Baekhee is in love with her. Her heart races.Maybe she should be angry or disappointed Baekhee didn’t tell her before, but she understands it. She thought about it too. The possibility of becoming a couple and then having a fallout like Dae and Yixing had. Something that was only resolved by both of them moving away, losing contact with each other and, unfortunately, the rest of their friend group too.Kyungah doesn’t want that. But she doesn’t want to keep suppressing her feelings either. She doesn’t think she can now that she knows Baekhee feels the same.Without letting herself think too much, she closes the gap between them, her hands reaching up to grasp Baekhee’s shoulders, pulling her in.Baekhee seems surprised at first, but then her arms wrap around Kyungah’s waist, and their lips meet in a soft, tentative kiss. It’s nothing like she expected. No fireworks, no grand gestures- just the taste of Baekhee’s lips, warm and gentle against her own. And in that moment, all the confusion and doubt fade away.When they pull back, Baekhee looks at her with wide eyes, her breath coming fast. "Was that okay?"Kyungah can barely speak, her voice tight and thick with emotion. "I- that was more than okay," she whispers, a grin tugging at the corner of her mouth.And the uncertainty is still there between them. All the things they have to talk about: the fear of it not working out, her crippling insecurity of not being good enough and the long time hiding their feelings from each other. But it fades away that night, when Baekhee curls up against Kyungah’s chest and peppers light kisses along her collarbones. All that matters in that moment is finally having Baekhee the way she’s wanted to for so long. Everything else can wait.