Work Text
A group chat 'People' has been created.
20 people have been added to 'People'
Augustine Orlov: .... Augustine: Um, what is this? Protag: Is this a work thing? Augustine: I don't have a job, so I assume not Coworker: Lmaoooo, Imagine not having a job, what a loserrrrr Protag: Coworker? Coworker: How did you know it was me? Protag: ..... Your name? Vincent: What an idiot. Winnie: Auggie, did you add me to this? Rody: How tf did this get on my phone Augustine: Winnie, you're here! Augustine: And no, i didn’t add you, I have no idea what this is. Forcas: I'M IN HEAVEN RN, HOW TF AM I ON A GC????? June: BOY THE FUCK YOU MEAN YOU'RE IN 'HEAVEN'????? Ryan: I just woke up, what is this??? Vonnie: RYAN IT'S 3PM RN, WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU JUST WOKE UP ---------- Ryan: I just woke up, what is this???IAugustine: We don't know. Ryan: Lovely. Angelica: Right. so, if none of us know whats going on, why don't we all introduce ourselves to each other, and turn this into an advice gc? ☺️ Coworker: You message like my grandma, but okay Angelica: .... Angelica: Right, well, my name's Angelica, and I vote we kick this guy Augustine: Fully agree. Winnie: No, that's mean! Vincent: Okay, you wuss. Augustine: Talk to my friend like that again and i'll will find you Rody: Damn, that got threatening fast Vincent: I'm not worried, he's probably 5'7 Winnie: 5'6 actually Augustine: WINNIE STFU Forcas: Yall kinda gay ngl 🫵🏻🏳️🌈 Augustine: I'm leaving Winnie: D: Da-Jeong: I'm on my break right now, what is this Ryan: we don't know, we've established this Vonnie: people can't read nowadays, smh Bok-Su: Can yall stfu, I haven't had my morning coffee yet June: IT'S 3PM Bok-Su: MOTHERFUCKER TIMEZONES EXIST YOU DUMB BITCH Rody: Well that was just uncalled for ---------- Bok-Su: MOTHERFUCKER TIMEZONES EXIST YOU DUMB BITCHIJune: Well where are you at? Bok-Su: Korea June: Oh, thats actually cool June: Australia for me Bok-Su: huh. Normal Guy: Protag, get back to work Protag: I LITERALLY AM, COWORKER WAS BUGGING ME Coworker: Wow, way to throw me under the bus Protag: YOU WERE THOUGH Augustine: Bro is a victim 😭🙏
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Angelica: RIGHT. Angelica: So, we're introducing ourselves to each other! Angelica: List your name, and a fun fact about yourself Coworker: Okay, MOM June: Bloody american asshole Coworker: HOW DID YOU KNOW I'M AMERICAN???? Ryan: You say mom. it's weird. Carmen: It's Mum. with a U Coworker: Something ur clearly lacking Carmen: D: Angelica: STOP FIGHTING AND INTRODUCE YOURSELF. Angelica: My god. Forcas: UR A NUN Forcas: DON'T USE THE LORDS NAME IN VAIN. ---------- Forcas: UR A NUNlAugustine: Angelica, ur a nun? Angelica: Unfortunately. Angelica: That's my fun fact Ig. my names Angelica, and i'm a nun Winnie: Cool! I'm Winnie, and my favourite person in the whole word is Augustine! ☺️ Augustine: Shut up you sap Coworker: 🏳️🌈🫵🏻? Augustine: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DICKWAD Ryan: Relax bro 😭 Ryan: I'm Ryan, and i'm great at surfing McCoy: I literally saw you whack yourself in the head with your surf board last weekend bc you thought you saw a shark, and it turned out to be a lump of seaweed. Ryan: IT WAS A REALLY FUCKING BIG LUMP OF SEAWEED, YOU TWAT McCoy: It was like, the size of me Ryan: Yeah, so massive June: McCoy you literally walked into that one. June: I'm June, and I dyed my hair orange during a mental breakdown. Carmen: It's true, I helped her dye it. Rody: Lmao, that's low-key funny. Rody: My names Rody Lamoree, I have naturally ginger hair\ June: LUCKY FUCKER ---------- June: I'm June, and I dyed my hair orange during a mental breakdown. lBok-Su: I genuinely can't get a picture in my head of what you look like June: I can send you a photo? Bok-Su: meh Da-Jeong: This is how she acts around people she likes btw June: HUH???? Myeong-Hoon: Darling, did you add me to this? Da-Jeong: No. Angelica: BACK TO INTRODUCTIONS Angelica: We got off track. Bok-Su: I'm Bok-Su. I was studying to be a doctor, before SOMEONE got me kicked out of the uni June: So your like, hella smart??? Bok-Su: Ig McCoy: I'm McCoy, I met Ryan bc I used to be a life guard, and he almost drowned. June: THAT'S HOW YOU MET??? Carmen: Wait thats actually a super cute story 😭 Ryan: I did not almost drown McCoy: Yes, let's ignore how I had to help you cough up all the water in your lungs Ryan: To be fair, I caught a sick wave right before that. McCoy: It would've been cooler if i didn’t have to save your life right after it Vincent: My name is Vincent Charbonneau. I cook. Winnie: WAIT UR THE FAMOUS CHEF??? Vincent: Yes. Winnie: CAN I GET UR AUTOGRAPH???? Vonnie: Famous chef where? i've never heard of you. Vincent: France. Vonnie: Oh cool. Vonnie: My names Vonnie. I actually speak French. and Japanese. Carmen: And Korean! Vonnie: not very well. Bok-Su: 당신은 한국어를 하지 못해요. Vonnie: 무슨 말씀이신가요? 제 말은, 제가 문자 그대로 그렇게 한다는 거예요 😭
Da-Jeong: That's pretty cool
Vonnie: Thanks.
Manon: My name's Marianne, but you can call me Manon. I like baking!
Protag: ANOTHER PERSON???
Coworker: How many people are there 😭
Forcas: Like, 20? idk bro
Forcas: I'm Forcas. i'm an Angel
Normal Guy: Do you mean, like, you're really sweet, or a literal angel?
Forcas: Both for you, baby 😉
Normal Guy: You're weird.
Forcas: :(
Normal Guy: I like you.
Forcas: :)
Angelica: Gross. Anyway!
Normal guy:
My name is [REDACTED] and i'm the CEO of [REDACTED]
Augustine: What?
Protag: Don’t ask, he's never going to respond Winnie: CEO OF WHERE THOUGH Normal guy: [REDACTED] Vincent: That answers literally nothing ---------- Manon: My name's Marianne, but you can call me Manon. I like baking!lRody: MANON YOU'RE HERE? Augustine: You guys know each other? Manon: He's my ex Protag: Oop Bok-Su: how did y'all break up. Rody: She dumped me bc i wasn't good enough 😭 Bok-Su: Okay, so you're pathetic Rody: :( Vincent: Loser Rody: YOU'RE LITERALLY MY BOSS Augustine: You work for him? Winnie: I can't even remember all the relationship dynamics in this gc 😭 Carmen: Me neither. Carmen: I'm Carmen, and i'm dating Vonnie! Forcas: You're a lesbian? ----------Forcas: You're a lesbian?lNormal Guy: I thought you were an American Carmen: I'm Australian? Vonnie: Also, being lesbian is a sexuality. June: It's a meme, Vonnie ---------- Normal Guy: I thought you were an AmericanlForcas: THANK YOU, NO ONE EVER GETS MY MEME REFERENCES Augustine: loser who tries to be trendy but is actually a washed up middle aged man with a beer belly and stubble bc he can't be bothered to shave it. Forcas: .... ---------- Augustine: loser who tries to be trendy but is actually a washed up middle aged man with a beer belly and stubble bc he can't be bothered to shave it. lAngelica: Amazing description. you are my new favourite person. Winnie: You're always my favourite person, Auggie Augustine: Stfu Coworker: He says, probably kicking his feet and giggling. Augustine: I hate you Augustine: My name's Augustine Orlov. Only Winnie is allowed to call me Auggie Bok-Su: 🚬 June: LMAO I'M ACTUALLY DYING ---------- Bok-Su: 🚬lAugustine: STOP Coworker: Wait, what does that even mean??? Protag: It's bc British people call cigarettes fags Coworker: Okay, but how does that correlate??? Coworker: Oh. Coworker: THAT'S FUCKING HILARIOUS Normal Guy: Bro is a little slow. Protag: THEN WHY DO YOU EMPLOY HIM Normal Guy: It's funny to watch him try and flirt with you Protag: ???????? WHAT???????? Coworker: My name's Bryce Stryker, but I also go by Chase Beckley and Clayton Cox Bok-Su: that doesn't make sense, you cretin Protag: I don’t think he realises that. ------------ Normal Guy: It's funny to watch him try and flirt with youlForcas: Clayton wants some cox ig Normal Guy: LMAO WHAT Coworker: What?? Bok-Su: How many times where you dropped on the head as a child? Protag: At least seven i'd say Bok-Su: makes sense. June: these names are boring. June: I can change them right? Da-Jeong: Please don't, I can hardly keep track of who's who anyway. Da-Jeong: Speaking of which, my name's Da-Jeong, and I'm a surgeon Bok-Su: WHICH YOU DON'T DESERVE Da-Jeong: FUCK OFF Myeong-Hoon: I'm Myeong-Hoon, and i'm married to Da-Jeong! Bok-Su: Count your days Myeong-Hoon: ???? ---------- Bok-Su: WHICH YOU DON'T DESERVElJune: Bok-Su, should I change the names Bok-Su: Yeah, bc it will piss Da-Jeong off Bok-Su: Why are you caring about my input though? June: Bc you seem cool. Bok-Su: I swore at you earlier June: Exactly Bok-Su: ... you're weird af
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Protag: HEY FORK-ASS MOTHERFUCKER Protag: YOU'RE AN ANGEL RIGHT???? Forcas: Yeah? Protag: TELL GOD TO GIVE ME ONE DAY OFF WORK PLEASE Forcas: No. Normal Guy: Protag ur expected at eight in the morning Protag: I'm gonna fucking kill myself Winnie: Please don't! ❤️ Angelica: I promise Jesus loves you, he doesn't want this for you! Protag: Rlly not helping my religious trauma rn Angelica: .... Angelica: I'm going to go away and die in a hole now, please update me when i return Augustine: Real Rody: Manon, pls take me back 🙏🙏🙏 Vincent: what a pathetic loser. Vincent: Kinda hot though. Manon: okay, what the actual heck Vince. Rody, still no Rody: 😞 Bok-Su: I agree with Vincent Bok-Su: not about the hot part though, men are disgusting June: WLW? Bok-Su: Yeah, wlw Coworker: Are yall speaking in code? Protag: Coworker, It stands for Women Love Women. They're lesbians, Harold Coworker: That's not my name ---------- Protag: Coworker, It stands for Women Love Women. They're lesbians, HaroldlForcas: MEME REFERENCE SPOTTED?????? Forcas: This is the best thing to happen to me in the last century Angelica: You are sad Augustine: Sorry to interrupt your insults, Angelica, but Winnie, did you take my hoodie? Winnie: Yeah, I took the orange one. Winnie: I'm sorry, but it's really comfy and it smells like you, so I love wearing it. makes me feel like you're here with me 😭 Augustine: .... Keep it. McCoy: You guys ‘friendship’ makes me feel so lonely 😭 Ryan: Just come cuddle with me bro McCoy: I'm about five minutes of sadness away from taking you up on that offer Carmen: Sometimes I can't tell if you two are dating. Da-Jeong: They aren't? June: Wait hold on, social experiment! June: Send in a flag emoji if you are part of the LGBTQ community! I'll start, 🏳️🌈! I'm bisexual Bok-Su: Lesbian and Aromantic 🏳️🌈 Protag: I'm gay and trans. Coworker: You're trans? Idk what I am, i don't care. Everyone wants me anyway! Augustine: Keep dreaming, fatso. Augustine: I'm mlm. don't have a label either, don’t really want one Winnie: I'm gay! Augustine: YOU ARE?????? Coworker: Bro realised he had a chance 😂 Forcas: I'm an angel June: New sexuality acquired: Angel Forcas: idgaf everyones hot Forcas: Mainly men tho Augustine: Kay, so ur gay. whos next? Vincent: Gay Manon: YOU'RE GAY? I DATED YOU??? Vincent: Oopsies. Rody: DID VINCENT JUST SAY 'OOPSIES'???? Rody: Also, Bi Manon: I'm straight, but I support yall! Ryan: We already know Carmen and Vonnie are major girl kissers, so i'll go next. i'm part of the community. some part. idk what McCoy: What's with yall and not knowing???😭 McCoy: I'm gay Ryan: He's a himbo June: Himbo confirmed McCoy: Still don't know what that word means Da-Jeong: Straight Myeong-Hoon: I'm an Ally!!! ---------- Da-Jeong: StraightlBok-Su: Yeah right Da-Jeong: ??????
Direct message from Bok-Su to June
Bok-Su: Were you gonna change the names? June: I forgot, gimme a few minutes June: What do you want me to call everyone? Bok-Su: You're asking my input? :) June: I love how malicious that smiley face looks
GC 'People'
'June' changed 18 usernames
Surgeon: Beautiful Pumkin: I think my name's cute Surgeon: Agreed Himbo: HELLO??????? Surgeon: You got it easy, calm down Twink vampire chef: I will find you Ranga: LMAO VINCE WHAT IS YOUR USERNAME???? Ranga: What does 'Ranga' mean Lesbian #1: It's Australian slang for orangutan Lesbian #2: It's what we call people with orange hair Ranga: Wtf 😭 CEO of liking men: Why have you done this. I am utterly disappointed. God of liking men: No i improve of this change God of liking men: I am a God. Nice nun lady: your not though. you're an angel. God of liking men: I CAN DREAM, ANGELICA Steak: Why am I just called steak 😭 Pumpkin: I thought it was funny, idk Nepo baby who needs to be robbed istg: Why is my name so long 😭 Nepo baby who needs to be robbed istg: It's so uncalled for smh Anxiety-Gay-Transgender: I'd complain about my name if it wasn't so accurate Auggie: Did I not say only Winnie could call me this? Auggie: But thank you for giving me a relatively normal name WinWin :3 : Didn't Augustine used to call me this when we were little? I LOVE IT THANK YOU ❤️ Surgeon: You guys got good names bc you're tolerable Auggie: Thank you? WinWin :3 : THANK YOU Surfer Bro: I approve. Good job, Junebug Pumkin: You're welcome bro Himbo: WHAT DOES HIMBO MEAN Fuck up of a doctor: ....I'm not gonna comment on it Doctors male wife: Hey, don't be mean to my wife :( Surgeon: make me Anxiety-Gay-Transgender: Hey isnt there 20 people in the GC? why'd you only change 18? Pumkin: They havent spoken yet, idk what to call them Antag: I'm too busy plotting to murder you Anxiety-Gay-Transgender: you have got to be fucking kidding me
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'Pumkin' changed one persons name
Psychotic motherfucker: Count your days Anxiety-Gay-Transgender: I'M SORRY OKAY? WE WERE TRYNA GET OUT Psychotic motherfucker: YOU DON'T GET TO BE SORRY Psychotic motherfucker: I'VE BEEN TRAPPED HERE FOR FUCKING MONTHS Psychotic motherfucker: BECAUSE OF YOU Psychotic motherfucker: AND I HATE YOU Nice nun lady: what in gods name? God of liking men: Watch your mouth Auggie!: I'm actually interested in the lore now, fill me in? Psychotic motherfucker: YOU PROMISED TO LET US OUT BEFORE TAKING OUR ONE RESOURCE WinWin :3 : AUGUSTINE MAKE POPCORN Auggie!: ON IT Colleague: Antag, relax. we both know you would have done the same Psychotic motherfucker: SHUT THE FUCK UP, WE WOULDN'T BE IN THIS MESS IF IT WERENT FOR YOU Psychotic motherfucker: I HATE YOU, I WISH I HAD STABBED YOU WITH THE SCISSORS Fuck up of a doctor: what the actual fuck happened Anxiety-Gay-Transgender: Okay, so basically, me and Bryce were stuck in the elevator, and these guys are our doppelgangers, and they were trapped, I told them i'd let them take our place if they gave us their scissors, but when they did, I shut the door on them. Surgeon: Shit, that's low Anxiety-Gay-Transgender: I NEEDED TO GET OUT Psychotic motherfucker: AND I NEED TO END YOUR LIFE YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT, I HOPE YOU DIE IN A FIRE Anxiety-Gay-Transgender: That actually happened in one ending lmao Auggie!: WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'ONE ENDING'??? Anxiety-Gay-Transgender: Long story, for another time Colleague: Antag, i'm begging you, please calm down
'Pumkin' changed one persons name
Poor guy: The last time you got this mad, you had a panic attack and started hyperventilating, and I don't know how to help you when that happens 😭 Nepo baby who needs to be robbed istg: Just be quiet, and when he starts calming down, talk to him quietly. depending on how bad the panic attack is, a hand on the shoulder can help, but just be comforting. it might take a while though, just be patient. Surfer bro: ???? How do you know how to deal with panic attacks??? Nepo baby who needs to be robbed istg: I'm friends with Protag, he has anxiety and panic attacks all the time Nepo baby who needs to be robbed istg: I did some research Anxiety-Gay-Transgender: ... you did research after that? Nepo baby who needs to be robbed istg: You're my friend, of course I did. Himbo: Was not expecting this guy to be that considerate ngl Anxiety-Gay-Transgender: that's actually really sweet, thank you Anxiety-Gay-Transgender: Maybe I will be taking you up on that offer of drinks on Friday
'Pumkin' changed one persons name
Nepo baby: Oh nice! i'm paying! Nepo baby: Ah, I see i've been promoted. I no longer need to be robbed. Pumkin: You're an Idiot, but you clearly mean well Anxiety-Gay-Transgender: Fantastic way to describe him CEO of liking men: Agreed CEO of liking men: He's so stupid, I’m surprised he has the brain capacity to type Nepo baby: That was just uncalled for 😔 Auggie!: I'm so glad were back to insulting each other, that sappy shit made me want to wretch. Lesbian #2: ever get the late night munchies and just start chewing on metal and wood and stuff? Surfer bro: wtf is happening, I have the biggest headache and this weirded me out Lesbian #2: that’s because you’re hungover, you alcoholic Surfer bro: ARE YOU NOT??? YOU DRANK LIKE, THIRTY COCKTAILS Lesbian #1: You didn't know? Von barely ever gets hungover. this morning she just got up and made me soup for my headache. Surfer bro: Bruh Surfer bro: I wish someone would make me soup rn, my head feels like it's gonna explode, I need to call in sick to work 😭 Himbo: Want me to come over? Surfer bro: YES. WinWin :3 : is it gay to buy roses for my best friend when I go to visit him? Pumkin: yes. Auggie!: ???? YOU’RE COMING TO VISIT???? Auggie!: WHY WAS I NOT MADE AWARE OF THIS SOONER? WinWin :3 : I was trying to surprise you 😭 Auggie!: THEN YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE ASKED IT IN A GC THAT I’M LITERALLY IN Surgeon: June Pumkin: Yeah? Surgeon: I just realised you misspelled pumpkin Pumkin: what? Pumkin: oh fuck Pumkin: Oopsies
'Pumkin' changed one persons username
Pumpkin: There we go Surgeon: Much better Pumpkin: Thank you for pointing that out <3 Surgeon: ..... You're welcome. <3 Fuck up of a doctor: Yep, Bok-Su's in love Surgeon: STFU YOU ASSHAT NO I'M NOT Ranga: VINCE CAN I PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAVE A PAY RAISE Twink Vampire Chef: Sure Ranga: REALLY?????? Twink Vampire Chef: No, that was a moment of weakness, I take it back Steak: HELP 😭 Anxiety-Gay-Transgender: What, why? Steak: why the fuck is Vincent giggling and kicking his feet while texting Rody???😭😭😭 Surgeon: better question is, why the fuck are you hanging out with Vincent? 😂 Steak: he's good at making food. and he's gay, so i'm painting his nails.
Ranga: WHAT?????
Nepo baby: What colour? 😂
Twink Vampire Chef: Black Ranga: Of course Psychotic motherfucker: I'm back Anxiety-Gay-Transgender: Please, god, one moment of peace God of liking men: Request denied. Anxiety-Gay-Transgender: Fuck Poor guy: Thank you Coworker for the advice 🙏 Nepo baby: You're welcome! i'll message you some ways to prevent that from happening again Poor guy: Thank you 😭 Anxiety-Gay-Transgender: I still can't believe you searched up how to help me Nepo baby: Is it that difficult to accept I care about you? Anxiety-Gay-Transgender: .... no comment Nepo baby: Dude 😭 Psychotic motherfucker: I sometimes forget we're literally the same person Anxiety-Gay-Transgender: Real
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Surgeon: On a scale of one to ten, how legal is murder Pumpkin: Depends Lesbian #2: ???? NO IT DOES NOT DEPEND, THE ANSWER IS ZERO. ON A SCALE OF ONE TO TEN, IT IS ZERO PERCENT LEGAL Pumpkin: not if no one finds out Surgeon: marry me Pumpkin: sure, when Surfer bro: Jesus, sapphics move quick Himbo: What does sapphic mean? Lesbian #1: How can you even call yourself a part of the LGBTQ community Ranga: theres a reason his name is himbo Surfer bro: true, very true. Nice nun lady: Good morning! remember that Jesus loves you! Anxiety-Gay-Transgender: I have religious trauma WinWin :3 : Thanks, Aphrodite and Philotes loves you! Augustine: I'm a minor WinWin :3 : ???? No you aren't. Augustine: I'm not mature enough to be an adult Pumpkin: I don’t really believe in god, but thank you anyway! Twink Vampire Chef: God has done nothing for me. i hope the devil uses my backbone as a ladder when i go to hell. Angelica: ....None of you appreciate me. Angelica: Except Winnie, obviously Angelica: Thank you Winnie WinWin :3 : Of course! Angelica: I have no clue who Philotes is though Angelica: I know Aphrodite WinWin :3 : Oh, Philotes is the goddess of friendship! Nepo baby: Of course he worships the goddess of friendship Surgeon: Junie Pumpkin: Yeah? Surgeon: I still can't picture you
Pumpkin: [PHOTO]
Pumpkin: That's me! Surgeon: Oh. Here's me. [PHOTO] Pumpkin: Oh, you're hot.
Pumpkin unsent a message
Pumpkin: I like your hair! Surgeon: I saw that message. Pumpkin: Shit. Surgeon: you're cute too ig Pumpkin: AHSKJCHLEWHFLHAWLKHLKFHELHWLHTL Surfer Bro: ERROR 404: June.EXE has stopped working. Please refresh page. Surgeon: Lol Auggie: Can y'all flirt elsewhere please? Psychotic Motherfucker: agreed Auggie!: Also, i hate to burst you guy's bubble, but y'all live on completely different continents. WinWin :3 : Don't even lie, you live for bursting peoples bubbles Auggie!: you know me so well Anxiety-Gay-Trangender: Out of curiousity, what country do you two live in? Auggie!: Canada Nepo baby: OH, DO YOU EAT POUTINE ALL THE TIME, EH? Anxiety-Gay-Trangender: That's pretty cool. Please ignore him, he's an idiot Auggie!: Oh, it's all good. Fuck up of a doctor: Augustine acting rationally for once??? God of liking men: CAUGHT IN 4K, NOT CLICKBAIT Win Win :3 : Oh, no, he's gonna say some tryannical shit in Win Win :3 : 3 Win Win :3 : 2 ----------Nepo baby: OH, YOU WANT SOME POUTINE, EH?lAuggie!: Do you shoot up schools all the time, eh? CEO of liking men: Decimated Doctor's male wife: Oof, that was just uncalled for Surgeon: I like this child Nepo baby: No, i don’t, are you into Ice hockey or something. Auggie!: .... Auggie!: Fuck you Auggie!: Kill yourself Win Win :3 : AUGGIE WE CANT SAY THAT Doctors male wife: WOAHHHHHH, NO, OMG, DON’T KYS PLEASE Twink Vampire Chef: i see no issue with this child's statement Surgeon: Me neither. Very reasonable. Psychotic Motherfucker: I AGREEE, KILL YOURSELF Poor guy: Other me, please don't God of liking men: Low-key, demons kinda chill Nice nun lady: I swear to god, one day you’re going to give me an aneurism God of liking men: You swear to WHO????!!!! Nice nun lady: I’m about this 👌 close to throwing away my bible 😑 God of liking men: *Dramatic gasp* Win Win :3 : Aren’t you literally a nun? Nice nun lady: at this point, that’s not going to stop me Surfer Bro: Love is dead and never existed. All you did was betray me as I lay sick and festering. You are the definition of dread. Anxiety-Gay-Transgender: Jesus Christ dude, are you okay? Surfer Bro: My cat ate my garlic bread 😭 Lesbian #2: y’know, I always thought you were dumb, but you could be a poet if you didn’t drink so much. Surfer Bro: Not worth giving up alcohol Ranga: I always pictured you as a dog person ngl Himbo: He has a dog and a cat Steak: And they get along? Lesbian #1: They get along about as well as Vonnie and Ryan do Steak: So like, always at each others throats but are still best friends? Lesbian #1: Exactly Himbo: I just searched up what himbo meant Surfer Bro: SHIT EVERYONE SCATTER Himbo: I just- why. Surfer Bro: You're hot and dumb. go figure. Lesbian #2: oh, so you finally admit you find him attractive Surfer Bro: Don't start bitch Ranga: sometimes, when I have to go to work in the morning, fire starts looking really good. Twink Vampire Chef: excuse me? Ranga: you heard me Twink Vampire Chef: ....Anyway, why is there a chair missing from the diner? Ranga: One of the customers straight up took it when it took longer than five minutes to bring them their food. Ranga: I go through this shit on a daily basis Auggie!: Customer service jobs suck ass Ranga: RIGHT????? Anxiety-Gay-Transgender: are relationships supposed to be this exhausting? Nepo baby: I SAID I’M SORRY Anxiety-Gay-Transgender: YOU BURNED DOWN THE KITCHEN MAKING COFFEE, HOW DID YOU MANAGE THAT? Ranga: we are equally bad at cooking Nepo baby: Well at least I can make cereal Ranga: That was uncalled for. 🙁 ----------Anxiety-Gay-Transgender: are relationships supposed to be this exhausting?lCEO of liking men: SORRY???????? WHEN DID YALL START DATING?????? Anxiety-Gay-Transgender: We aren't. Nepo Baby: aw, really? Anxiety-Gay-Transgender: WHY DO YOU LOOK DISAPPOINTED Poor guy: He likes you, dumbass Anxiety-Gay-Transgender: Does that mean you like my doppelganger??? Poor guy: NO SHUT UP- HE'S ON THE GROUPCHAT- HE'S GONNA MURDER ME Psychotic motherfucker: What Poor guy: Can yall play staying alive at my funeral, I’m not making it through the day Auggie!: Bro's last words: Win Win :3 : Frrrrr