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Buck’s was a two-story roadhouse off I-44 with whitewashed brick and foggy windows full of neon. It was the kind of building you knew when you saw, no sign needed. Folks gravitated towards it, packing the house with bodies and booze near nightly. The way the neon shone through the smoky haze of the barroom reminded Dallas of a horror flick, like Christopher Lee’s Dracula was going to rise from the broom closet. He always thought it made the place look tuff.
It was the kind of place a man could count on and for some, it was all they had to depend. Besides his buddies, the usual clientele was made up of cowboys and truckers. The working type. Some were real honest men, and others weren’t; it didn’t seem to matter as long as they paid and kept to their own.
It was a good week for Buck, a few good races and a steady flow at the bar so of course he was going to blow it all now.
Dallas passed him coming in, his little celebration already in full swing by the time they rolled around, he put a hand on the man’s shoulder indicating the count with his fingers. Figuring, If he was going to gamble the money he should at least win.
“Two more and you’re out. I don’t need you blowing it all, it was my race, man…” Dally muttered, swiping his finger under his nose with an icy look.
Buck sucked his cheeks into his teeth and clicked his tongue as he watched the table. “Sure kid, but when you’re hot…”“Hey, I’m serious, do us both a favor and cool it, alright?” Dally huffed then went to find the others.
He and a few of the boys had been hanging on that side of town and decided to make their way over for a few rounds of Rummy. They’d lost Steve a couple hours ago… something about work? Dally hadn’t been paying attention.They’d gotten a table to themselves in one of the smaller game rooms by some weekday miracle. The muffled noise of the bar filtered in through the wall: bits of conversation, music, and the occasional pool shot could be heard over the creaking somewhere above them.
Two-bit leaned back with his cards flat on the table and a chewed-up pencil sticking out of the corner of his mouth like a fresh cigar. He rocked a little watching Johnny mill over his cards for the millionth time. His brow raised once he finally caught the boy’s eye.
“How many cards you got there, Johnny?”
“‘nuff.”The dark haired boy grunted, waving his free hand in the other's face to shoo him off.
Dally stared down at his hand and his mood soured; he played risky and still had a few faces left if Johnny went out. He’d already started the night in a sour mood when they made him take off his ring to play, regardless of the game. He took a swig of his cheap beer and watched as Johnny placed his cards.“Rummy!” Johnny cried.He went out.
“Well, shit,” Two-bit brought the chair crashing back down onto four legs. He brought the pencil out of his mouth and scribbled on the scorecard, mouthing as he counted.
“Seventy five! You writin’ that down, Two-bit? Huh? Seventy- five.”
“Sure you don’t wanna count ‘em again? Almost didn’t hear ya,” the frustration in the teens voice melted into laughter at Johnny’s fervor.
“Awe, you hear alright. But if you need remindin’…”Dally watched as Johnny leaned over to yap in Two-bit’s ear; he was a competitive son of a bitch when he wanted to be. It’d make him proud if he weren’t so pissed off.“Yeah, I got it. What ‘bout you Dally?” Two took the pencil back out of his mouth and started adding to the sheet.
“Negative twenty,” he grumbled, subtracting those from his hand.
“You know, you keep frownin’ like that your face’ll stick that way.” Two-bit mused with a grin, a joke already forming on his tongue.
“On second thought, maybe it’ll make ya look better!
“I’ll stick my boot in your ass. How’s that for stick? Huh?” He snapped, slamming his palms on the table. Standing made him appear larger and his threats’ genuine but he, as anyone would, found it hard to stay mad at Two-bit.
“You can try, but I don’t think you’d want your boot back!” Two-bit roared with laughter, rocking in his chair and howling like a hyena. His high pitched cackle could make a joke out of anything.
“Got jokes tonight, huh?” Dally chuckled bitterly.“It’d worry ya if I didn’t.”“Ye-yeah,” Johnny added with a grin. “We’d think you were dead!”They laughed, and maybe it was the booze or the late hour or the hypnotism of Buck’s but they kept laughing all through the next round, stifling their laughter every time one of them made a bad play. Then one round turned into two, then three, and by then it became clear they were in it for the long haul.
The three of them sat around the table hunched over the cards only getting up for a new beer or take a leak. They almost blended into the atmosphere of Bucks, looking like a couple of regulars deep in a good game they had money on, if not for the boyish edge to their faces or the occasional high pitched giggle.
“ Good lord, I got 'emI got the ho-on-ky tonk blues~”Hank Williams crooned from the jukebox the next room over, the rhythmic blues overtaking all other noise of the bar drowning out whatever rock number came before it.
“Boy, he’s got Hank on already,” Two-bit pretended to look at a watch he couldn’t afford and smiled. “I better get goin’ then.”“You’re just walkin’ out cause I’m ahead, man…” Johnny smirked.“I’ll have no problem beatin’ ya tomorrow, Johnnycakes.”“Wanna bet?”
“What’re you thinkin’… odds wise?”
Johnny sat for a moment his head set back in thought, making a show of it with his brows like Two-bit would’ve done. When he gave himself enough time he came forward.
“Seventy- fifty,” Johnny figured.
“Good deal,” Two-bit grinned, knowing full well those numbers were made up.
He knocked Johnny's shoulder, shaking him lighter than he would one of the other guys. Then grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair and pulled it on with a sigh. He stole one last drink of beer and inched around the table for them.
Two shakes Dally’s hand and then Johnny’s as he makes his leave, as custom. Most of the time, a good shake did more than ‘hello’ or ‘goodbye’.
“I’m gonna go find a hole to shove my head into. If you boys stumble over me in the mornin’, know I didn’t make it too far.”
Two-bit said it with a laugh, but Dallas grabbed hold of his arm as he went to leave and held him there.
“Hey, try n’ make it home, alright? I don’t like trippin’ over you…”“I’ll try dal, but uh, I can’t make any promises.”
“Try yeah? I just, I better not find you in the morning or you’re gonna wish it was just a hangover you’re dealin’ with.”“Dunno which is worse,” two-bit hummed, rooting his arm free from the hoods grip. “Don’t sweat it, Dal.”Dally chooses to believe him in the moment and gave him a playful shove towards the door and added;“Later man.”“Later, Two-bit.” Johnny added.
“See y’all tomorrow.” Two stumbles out into the hall, disappearing into the neon haze. One can only hope he made it to the door without getting himself into trouble, the way he eyed one of the girls on his way out.
Dallas turned his attention back to the cards and gathered them up, shuffling them absently while he thought. He turned back to Johnny.
“What uh, what about you, Johnnycake? Headed home or uh… you up for another game?”
Dally bowed his head a little as his tongue darted out between his lips. He took the opportunity to slip his ring back onto his finger now that Two-bit wasn’t there to call him on it.
“Naw, I’ll go another round.” Johnny shrugged.“‘sides, it’s late and my folks are probably asleep by now. Going now could wake ‘em up and I- I don’t wanna risk it.” Johnny mumbled into the beer.
The only time he was noticed back home was doing something wrong. He cleaned up around the house and did his best to behave but his mama never seemed to notice that and his dad hardly saw him at all if it wasn’t through a bottle or a belt loop.
The way he spoke- like not going home at all was better than going home late… Dally couldn’t stand it.
“Cmon, deal,” Johnny urged.“You got someplace, then?”
Johnny fingered the crushed sides of his empty can. When he looked up again, he meet Dally’s gaze dead-on.“Thought I’d stay here,” he said.
Shit, Dally can’t remember the last time he’d seen Johnny so bold. It was…Dally droped his gaze, funneling the cards back into the carton just to give himself something to do, to try to get a hold of himself. His eyes travel their little outcove and by the time they make it back to Johnny, he’d slumped again, the look and the certainty gone. It was like chasing a ghost.
“If- if you got room, I don’t wanna be no trouble or nothin’… I’ll prolly find some place anyway,” Johnny mumbled, staring down at the now empty card table.
“Hey, hey Johnny, cmon. Have-.” Dally ran his hand over his mouth and down his chin. “Have I ever said no to you?”“There’s room,” he maintained, shrugging on his suede leather jacket. Large and worn it made him look like a hood more than a jockey, and he preferred it that way. Dally puffed out the collar and fixed his hair in a gallant effort to regain a cool demeanor.
“Better you stay in this joint than the lot anyway.”“Aw, the lot ain’t so bad,” Johnny waved his hand. “I only stay there on nice nights anyway. I-I figure it’s like camping or somethin’…y’know?”“Yeah, piece like you’d get eaten by strays ‘stead of coyote’s. You, uh, prepared for that sorta thing Johnny?” Dally shoved his chair in knocking it against the table.
“Quit it Dal.
Ain’t nothin’ gonna eat me,” he huffed and pushed in his chair, “Worst thing that can happen in the lot is Tetanus… with all that junk layin’ around….”“Worst thing?”
The question was cruel and Dallas knew it, though he was never known for gentility. His eyes were cold barring into the boy across the table from him with a strange woundedness to them.
His eyes follow the freshly formed scar across Johnny’s left cheek. It was the first thing everyone’s eyes were drawn to, jagged and large on his cheek bordering his temple. Pity, fascination, but Dallas just felt a burning sense of anger.
Johnny had always been a quiet kid but… that day in the lot took something out of him he wouldn’t be able to get back. There were glimpses sometimes but he was just… scared.
But that wasn’t entirely true either, Johnny kept going. He was tuff and it left Dally senseless.
“I can handle it,” Johnny swallowed and his throat bobbed. His hands stuck deep into his jacket pockets and he hunched forwards as he stood, ducking his face. Hiding like a rabbit in the brush.He knew how to survive. In his sixteen years he learned that much.
“I know you can,” Dally whined, an emphasis that shows too much. He takes a breath and continues.
“It don’t gotta be home, but when you don’t have a place to go…” he stopped himself, “You…you need standards, John. A bus station or somethin’ at least— Christ!”Dally continued to fidget his face hardening back into a familiar ambivalence that doesn’t reach his eyes.
Johnny studied him for a moment, his shoulders loosen and his face softens. A smile ghosts his lips. He looked down and scoffed. “I’ll try and get some, alright?” he knocked himself against the other's shoulder.
“Cmon” Dally huffed. “You Can hang with me ‘til a room clears out. One usually does at these sorts of things…”Dally slipped his arm around Johnny without a word, guiding him out of the room and back the little hallway towards the stairs. Only folks there on weekdays were barflys and young hoods he didn’t care enough to impress, he could hear their nasly laughter at one of the pool tables as they passed and frowned.
“Maybe I won’t have to spend those nights in the lot,” Johnny mused, looking back at him only half way up the first flight. “I could just stay with you, on account of you gettin’ all mushy on me an’ all…”“Mush!”
Dally came to a halt beside him. Johnny kept going but turned to see him as he went.
“I-I-I can’t believe this!” He gawked, making a show out of his shock and awe that Johnny had seen a million times. Sometimes he was just as much of a clown as Two-bit. Real question was if it was on purpose.
Dally grabbed the rail leaning forwards, using his other hand to talk.
“I do this nice thing for you, a pal and I’m mush!” His ears and his face became a nice deep shade of rosy pink embarrassment.
“A big pile of it!” Johnny grinned until it hurt.
Dally slugged him in the arm and shoved him along up the stairs, brushing under his nose. “You want the room or not, man? Huh?”“Sure I do, mushy.”Dally’s eyes went large and he shoved him again. “Get up there! …before I change my mind or somthin’…”
Johnny laughed as he stumbled up the stairs, rubbing loosely at his pumbled shoulder.
“Second down on your left,” Dally came up behind him, placing a warm hand on his shoulder. Johnny counted about eight of them, most of the doors were closed and there wasn’t the same haphazard effort into decorating the hall like there had been downstairs. It was plain.
Even on his worst days, you wouldn’t catch Dally sleeping in the lot. He slept where he could and had a few places marked around town. He was at Buck’s the most because he knew how to keep a room. Rooms in roadhouses like this come and go fast, he’d been watching pairs stumble up and down since he’d first been to the visited. It’d been him too more than a few times.
Johnny looked around the room, his hands shoved deep in his pockets. There was a crumpled old hunting pack sat open on the floor, emptied, a polished pair of cowboy boots next to it. The one nice, honest, thing Dallas owned. The room itself was alright with its peeling blue paint and out of date floral curtains, some cubby’s under the window and an eight track player. It was better than standard with a dresser by the door and a desk across from the bed that sat piled with the rest of the few belongings Dally had.
“Neat pad,” Johnny let his hands at his sides.
The weight drops off his shoulders and he almost stands straight, but he slouched so much it just wasn’t possible anymore.
“Thanks,” Dally smirked, glancing back over his shoulder. His attention turned back quickly to the hall watching for any sort of movement, when none came he locked the door behind him.
“Make uh, make yourself comfortable.”
“All right,” Johnny smiled into his chest and sat back on the bed. He propped the pillow up behind him with a sigh, turning back over to watch Dally. With those big black eyes of his he looked something like a puppy.
Dally waved his hand briefly as he milled around the room on a fixed path, he’d stayed enough times that it was routine. He tugged off his ring, dropping it into an ashtray he’d been using for both purposes despite how it tarnished the jewelry.
“Man, must be nice havin’ a place like this.”
“Like what?” Dally asked, working his way out of his boots. Johnny wouldn’t tell a soul but it made him lose an inch, he tried to hide his grin by looking away.
“I didn’t mean nothing… just, it must be nice havin’ a place where you’re remembered n’ doors lock…folks get kicked out if they fight…”
The way he drawled on reminded him of Ponyboy. He stopped for a moment searching for the words.
“They don’t yell, here—.”A muffled moan barrels through the wall just to spite him but he knows what he meant. He couldn’t hear his parents from here, across town, across the highway in some room above a bar.
In Dally’s room above a bar.
Johnny looked up at the wall and the gun rack above the old concert poster, and all the other posters around the room. Dally had done some decorating of his own speckling the wall with pictures torn out of his western and car magazines. There was a small collection of cheap wax toys and matchbooks.
“It must be nice to have a place that’s yours is…is… what I meant.”“I sleep here but it ain’t mine,” Dally spoke plainly, hucking his jacket over the back of the desk chair. He took a look around the room trying to see what it was Johnny saw in it.
“Seems like your place to me,” Johnny shrugged. He tilted his head to the side, his big black eyes bearing into him. “I mean— he don’t charge you rent or nothin’ does he?”“Who, Buck?” Dally gawked.“Yuh-yeah the cowboy…”“He don’t. We’re partners,” he agreed, his tongue darts between his lips. “I make too much for him to pull something like that on me…” That was what he cared to believe anyway.
The older male had taken after him like a brother. Dally wouldn’t let himself get so close to admit that he'd grown cold long before he felt the man’s warm hand on his shoulder.“S-so what’s the problem?! You got your stuff all over the place and don’t gotta pay rent… now, yo-you don’t got your name on that door but that don’t mean you don’t got a place.”“It’s… it’s different, man,” Dally stuttered, “Havin’ a room is nice n’ all… but isn’t like having a home… y’know…” Dally raked his fingers back through his hair, his eyes settling on his socks. He paused and kicked at the chair a little, puffing out his chest.
“What I got ain’t a sure thing…”
he softens.
“Well, havin’ a home ain’t all it’s cracked up to be either. You don’t wanna go home anymore than I do!” Johnny huffed.Home was a sure thing alright— and it wouldn’t change for either of them.
Dallas froze, his fade stuck in a childish expression of shock that melted quickly into anger. A few words here and there about home and Johnny had him all figured out like some dirty headshrinker.
He should’ve rolled him for that. Instead he said; “And? So-so what if I don't, man? Huh?!” He barked, glaring at him for as long as he could stand.
“You still talk about it…” Johnny pointed out, there was no softness to his suggestion. “You have a place but you want—.”“You know… yeah, I do talk about it. That’s fair… that’s real fair,” Dally ran his hands down his face grasping at his sweat.
He had a place. A good place.
He shouldn’t miss… or want… he doesn’t!
He doesn’t want to go home! He never has! Johnny had just wriggled the idea into his brain like a greasy little worm.
That’s all.Dally shot Johnny a look, one plenty had seen before he belted them or broke an arm. Violent, volite and vulnerable the way a wild animal was when backed into a corner.
“But at least I ain’t the one who goes back!”Johnny ducked his head only for a moment, then looked up again meeting Dallas with the same boldness he had downstairs. He had nothing to worry about because he’d seen that look a thousand times within himself, fear recognized fear.
That very fact set Dallas alight as he couldn’t accept it in himself, much less take it from anyone. No one told him what to do and no one would be telling him how he felt. No one…“I-I-I don-don’t… I don’t get why you keep doing that to yourself, Johnny. How you can waddle back there, tail between your legs and let them—.”“-‘Cause, man!” Johnny flinched, ducking in on himself. A mixture of shame and anger mixed in his gut as he turned back onto him. Only now it was worse as he could hear the softness of his footsteps and the tremble in his voice. It would be so much easier if he’d just been angry at him.“I dunno!”
Johnny’s body burst to life in a great spasm, his arms shot up into the air and his eyes wide and wired. It didn’t stop Dally just as it hadn’t stopped him.“You go back an-and what?! What’s there to go back for? Huh? When your folks—.” Dally swallowed his words like bile. There was a desperation in his voice that made Johnny writhe.
“I left for less than you…” he whispered.
“You might’ve burned all your bridges, Dallas but I wanna keep mine!” Johnny howled. He tore his jacket off and whipped it across the room in a manic burst of emotion. It missed Dally and struck the wall. The energy left him in an instant.“I-I wanna keep mine…” he whispered, his eyes stuck on his jacket across the room.
“Leaving won’t make no difference. It-it won’t matter where I am, I’ll still hear ‘em! I keep hopin’…” Johnny took ragged deep breaths raking his fingers back through his hair.
There was no answer either could give that would sound believable, But there were things Dally couldn’t admit and places Johnny couldn’t leave.
They wanted without knowing what it was or what it would look like. It was a greedy and nervous feeling, one that was so deeply human it couldn’t be recognized.
“I-I dunno man, … alright?”
There was a pitiful, horrible, noise that escaped him. Something close to a sob but Johnny didn’t cry. Not over this.“Okay,” Dally whispered.Dally didn’t know a good thing when he had it, how could he? If he was not a hood- if he was not tough what was he? He had a damn good deal here with Buck. He had…
Johnny…
“Okay,” he repeated softly to himself, stepping back from the other as he slumped deeper into the bed.
Dally turned and grabbed Johnny’s jacket off of the floor and took a good look at the battered denim, battering the extra dust off from the floor. He tossed it onto the flimsy shelf by his bed.
Johnny stared up at him almost unblinking, a clouded expression on his face as Dally slipped him a Kool. The shorter boy dug a lighter out of his pocket and used it behind cupped hand. He kept it lit for a moment, in case the hood needed a light but he just sat on the cubbies, cigarette between his lips, chewing on the end for a few minutes before chucking it.
“How come you listen to me?” Johnny asked, punctuating his question with a smoke ring, “When I tell you to lay off n’ stuff…it’s not like I make you or anything,” he sighed.
“Doubt I could anyway…” he mumbled. With his jacket off Johnny could see the muscle on Dally’s arms, and undoubtedly his thighs. Between the rodeo and running from the law he’d built himself up for a hungry seventeen year old.
Johnny took a final hit and put his cigarette out, further tarnishing Dally’s jewelry. He fiddled with the ring in the ashes and sighed.
“Hey. You ever think it’s ‘cause you’re worth listenin’ to?” Dally asked, bringing one knee up to his chest while Johnny's eyes went quickly to his own knees.
“I dunno,” he huffed. Dallas raked his fingers back through his hair easily without being weighed down by product. His tongue darted between his lips.“I uh, guess it’s ‘cause you’re different, Johnnycake. You’re you!” His hand fell at his side.
There wasn’t anyone Johnny was trying to be and Dally respected that. There weren’t all that many true people left in the world.
“Shit, Dally…” he said, a broken chuckle followed as he pulled a foot up onto the bed to untie his chucks. Dally turned.“Hey, no uh, no…no shoes on the bed, man. There’s enough on there without you addin’ to it.”“Man, that’s gross!” Johnny wrinkled his nose, his foot dropping like lead.
“Ain’t my place remember?” Dally laughed, moving from the cubby to right beside him. He sensed the shift and pounced on it. He elbowed Johnny in the ribs while he tried to untie.
“Not all the time, anyway…”
“Quit,” Johnny knocked him back, a smile forming in their back and forth.“Quit what? I’m not doin’ anything…” Dally raised his hands cool and innocent at his chest in mock frustration. As if knocking him with his ribs was all he really wanted to do.“Guess we’re alone now, huh?” Johnny mused, able to get a shoe off.
Dally wouldn’t be all touchy like that if they weren’t, even if it’s just playful. No different from how the gang always is with each other, ‘cept for how it made him feel.
“Yeah,” Dally glances down, a sly smile on his face. “Yeah we’re alone, John. Guys that stay here know not to go pryin’…”“Ri-right.”Johnny gathered his sneakers in his arms, trying to hide the shade of his cheeks or the way he began to shift. He was aiming to go put them by Dally’s out of the way somewhere.He went to stand when the hood stopped him, gesturing about the room. It looked like his pack exploded, there were clothes everywhere.
“Leave 'em’, it’s fine,” he hummed.“The lot’s cleaner than you are…” Johnny chuckled. He let his shoes drop to the floor anyway.
“Awe,” Dally whined, cocking his head to the side with that same loopy grin.
“Thought you liked me gettin’ a lil dirty… ” his voice lowered, hand sliding up Johnny's arm before pulling him in. The boy shuddered and his eyes widened once he realized what the other was talking about. He melted, sinking back into the mattress beside him.
One arm snaked around his shoulder and tugged him towards the rougher boy. Then the other arm. Now he’s holding him, Dally’s face buried along his neck, nosing his way up until he reached his forehead. Kissing it.
“Get outta my hair!” Johnny yelped, batting Dally on the back like a bad dog. “You’re gonna get grease on your lips doin’ that!”
Dally pulls back, his lips- sure enough- shining with hair grease and that same sly smile. He licks them clean without breaking eye contact as if it were the best tasting thing in the world.
“That don’t bother me, honey. ” he hummed, practically on top of him. His hands brazen now.
“Glory!” Johnny cried, and he almost let him get away with it, drawn by his rooting. But he pushed back again.
Dally was still trying to be macho but seeing how magnetized he was - was near goofy. He was a pain but… there was just something about him.
“Quit foolin’ around… and kiss me proper,” he pulled at the collar of Dally’s shirt, his head flopped and was guided to look at him easily. Johnny held his face with a clumsy, wanton tenderness.“Cmon,” he nudged, his eyes flickering between the hood and the door. “No one’s gonna check…”He spoke as if Dallas wasn’t half on top of him already. As if their hands hadn’t turned to a different sort of playful.
Dally scoffed, holding himself back from reminding Johnny he was the one to stop him. He sat up and corrected his posture anyway, holding him properly as if this were a date. He leaned down and Johnny met him, almost impatiently, with a kiss.
This time he pulled away, leaving Johnny to linger against him. There was a childishness to his look, as if Dally denied him— as if he ever could deny him. Johnny pawed at him.“So,” his tounge darts out between his lips and he chuckled. “This is what you were really after, huh?”
“You don’t have to play games with me, Johnnycake. I-I’m very giving… y’know… n’…”“I ain’t playin’ games!”
“What’d you call this then? Checkin’ doors and getting all handsy like you are?”
Dally’s hands slid down his sides, his searching making it near impossible for Johnny to come up with a response. He lulled his head to the side, coming up with an answer as dally buried himself in it.
“A bonus, like in pinball or somethin’, man. Feeling…” he gasped. “Up weren’t my intention… ‘s just happened…” Johnny mumbled.“I needed a place n’ I was already here… I told you before, I thought you was listening then.”
“Sure,” Dally hummed. He softened seeing the more serious look in the others eyes. “I was.”
“- ‘n gettin’ handsy… jus- we’ll, I can’t help it!” Johnny's hand buried itself in Dally’s already ruined hair.
“So don’t help it… he-help me!” He scoffed.
“ it’s just… you’re takin’ a page out of my book talkin’ like that, Johnny. Forgive me for getting a little excited…”
“You’re a real bad influence, Dal.”
“You think so, honey?”
“Hush up.” Johnny huffs, dragging him back into a kiss.
~Johnny sat back on top of the shelves in front of the
window. He had a cigarette balanced between his lips as he flicked through the pages of one of Dally’s cowboy magazines.
It was mainly bull riders and blue jean advertisements and he tried to make it look as if he were really interested, or maybe he was. Dally couldn’t tell with the way he held the pages, glancing at him only briefly between smokes.
He pulled another cigarette from the carton and settled back down on his bed, rooting around to try and get comfortable. He lounged as Johnny read, his mind busy and buzzing like a crowded channel.
After a time of laying and looking and static, his mind filled with those thoughts- secret and happy- Dally hauled himself upright and started to shuffle through 8-tracks, only one of two of them being truly his, the rest Buck’s or busted from elsewhere.
“I’d tell ya to turn on the radio but I want something real,” he paused, his tongue swiping at his lip.“Real music, not a lullaby, man. Here,” he handed the tape over, which to Dally was more like shoving it in the boy's face.
“That’s- that’s uh, Cash… put it in, huh?”
“Sure, not like I was doing nothing…” Johnny muttered, crumpling the edges of the magazine as he brought it down to his lap trading it for the track.
“Watch it.”Johnny scoffed, blowing a few of his bangs out of his face and rolling his eyes. He put the tape in. Even hunched in on himself Dally could see the look in his eyes and how they lit up with curiosity and sarcasm.
Almost the way he was before…
A strong twang filled rythm rolled from the speaker taking any deeper thought Dally formed along with it. He smiled and leaned back again, taking one long last drag before putting his cig out right in the middle of his ring.
“I uh,” he stutters, fidgeting with his fingers rather than facing the other boy. “I like that you chose here, man. For uh…a lotta reasons.” Dally smirked, surprising a chuckle as a rubbed under his nose, “But… I-i thi- I think, you should stay here more often y’know?”Johnny put down the magazine for a second time, he had started to halfheartedly flick through it when Dally spoke.
“Yeah?” He asked.
“Yeah,” Dally sobered, scooting closer he grabbed Johnny's knee and squeezed.
“Even if we weren’t foolin’ around, I—” he paused, looking away, “If you ever need someplace… n’ your usual spots don’t work out or whatever… I just want you to consider it, alright.”
“You mean that, Dally?” Johnny breathed, filled with a restrained excitement.
Dally knocked his knee with his knuckles, touching with a desperation he’d never felt before. He rubbed his thumb over the soft skin, a spot that may have once been a scuff and sighed.
“You know I do…”“All right,” he shakily agrees. Johnny reached, his fingers curling in his lap as he looks off at the boots on the floor rather than him.
He knows, even if it had never been said. None of the guys were ever good at forming the words for why they stuck by each other. And Dallas? Jesus, he thinks saying it would kill him.
What they had…Johnny looked at him as though he understood. When Johnny looked at him he didn’t want to fight the world because someone knew him… a strange and awful feeling in his gut. Being with him… he was a tamed dog.
“Cmon,” Dally sighed, letting go. “Get me another weed, will ya?”Johnny leans over him, reaching for the pack of kools on the corner shelf above the bed. He leans back picking one of the last few. Their fingers brush when Dally takes it.
“Thanks.”“Yeah…” Johnny mumbles softly and slides off the cubby.
He moves across the room, his eyes scanning the floor for his shirt. He swoops down grabbing it off the floor and dragging his feet on his way back over.
Johnny sat beside him with his shirt in his lap, wanting something to sleep in but to Dally it looked as if he were going. It was a little late to be shy.“This, uh, this make us goin’ together, Johnny?” He asked, putting the cigarette aside. His tongue darts as he wipes his face, “ ‘cause this is a bit more serious than just messing around in the back of a theater or somethin’. Staying, I mean. Lotta folks…not just anyone sticks around.”
Johnny had his arms stuck in his shirt and slipped it on so fast he choked himself. He looked like a idiot, gagging himself on his own shirt, wide eyed and dumb, but he let out a “Sure thing!” before his head was even through the hole.
“Ye-ah man, I mean… I know I mean more to ya than just foolin’ but… official, boy...”“You real?” Dallas mumbled. He wanted to be annoyed but there’s something soft growing behind his eyes that he can’t seem to hide. He leans in when Johnny’s arm reaches around him.
“Uh-huh.”“I thought so. That’s- that’s
good. Quiet mouse like you, I never know if, uh….” Dally sat up straight, falling back in on his rough boyish habits. A tuff, showy hood who lusts more than he feels.
“I-I don’t talk enough to not mean what I say, Dal. I said I wanna be with you.”
Dally frowned a little, still not totally believing it. Then Johnny lunged forwards and kissed him, grabbing his face, his hands disappearing behind his ears. Dally’s hands feel at his waist, his arms wrapping around him.
“Believe yet? Huh?,” Johnny chuckled breathlessly.
“That’s real good… yeah Johnny, I believe you,” Dallas grinned, slowly peeling back the layers of the act again to add; “I just like being sure is all…”“Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that and you can be sure of me.”“Hey….I am sure of you,” he urged, cutting the rest of his words off. It was himself he wasn’t sure of.
Dally squeezed and let go allowing Johnny to turn and flop back onto the rest of the bed. Who took no time taking up the rest of the available space.
Johnny chuckled, putting his arms behind his head and staring up at the water stained ceiling. He closed his eyes and listened to the music, ignoring whenever Dally nudged at him to move. His eyes shifted from the ceiling to the other watching him nod his head as Johnny Cash sang his hits. He tapped his hand along to the beat of Ring of fire, blushing when Dally smirked at him.Somewhere a door opened and he sat up. It was the first time in hours he heard a noise not coming from their room.
“Bet that room is open by now huh?”“Hah-hah, heh…” Dallas burst into laughter beside him, a breathy and literal noise. His hands moved to cover his face and hide his grin. His chest heaved and he rolled.“You’re still thinking about that? God, man… What uh, what happened to— didn’t we just say we were goin’ together? I can share…” Dally inched forwards, cooing in his ear and burying his face in the crook of his neck.
Determined to again be a sleeze rather than bare himself. He could easier speak secrets to skin than say them aloud.
Johnny gasped and shoved him off, not faltering in the discussion. “It’s your place Dal, whether you admit that r’ not. I-I just… I don’t wanna take your bed or nothin’.”“You’re not takin’ anything I wouldn’t give. s’ just an offer.”“Dallas…” Johnny mumbled.
“Alright, alright… you still want that room, I’ll go check it out, okay?” Dally stood, adjusting his jeans as he glanced back at Johnny.“Stay put.”Dallas stood at the door dragging his fingers through his hair to rough it up again and put weight in his step before moving into the hall. Plenty had seen him there before half dressed and pouting in the middle of the night, he blended into the empty hall.
The doors were mixed, most rooms already abandoned or those occupied shuttered for the night. There were plenty of options if Johnny really wanted one and Dally said there’d be room, if they were together or not.
“Hey, I uh—.”Dally shut the door and turned to find Johnny out cold. He laid curled in on himself in bed just as he would have out in the lot. Practically a prey animal using the same position for warmth and protection. Only he snored like he was ten times his size. He supposed it kept creeps away.
“Jeez, kid,” Dally sighed, bringing the blanket up just close enough for Johnny to grab and do the rest himself. He watched the boy unfurl and scoffed.
“G’night, Johnnycake.”