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“It says here you are experiencing…issues in your sexual performance?” Dr. Conan asks, clicking through the notes on his computer screen.Billy hesitates. “Sort of.”Dr. Conan pauses and looks up. “What do you mean by that?”“Um.” Billy fidgets, picking at a loose thread on his jeans. “My, well. I— I don’t think I’m having issues, but my partner. My boyfriend, I mean. He’s, uh.”Dr. Conan watches him wordlessly.“I’m ace. Asexual. And I’m not sexually attracted to my boyfriend, and, like, he knows that, he knew that from day one, it’s not like… Anyway, it’s just. He thinks it’s weird now because he’s seen me, you know. Get hard. And he thinks that I’m just. That maybe it’s a medical issue, and not my sexuality.”“He may be correct,” Dr. Conan says easily. “There are a number of health issues that can impact sexual desire and performance. I’m glad he convinced you to come to see me.” He turns back to his computer and starts typing quickly. “When you experience an erection, are you able to orgasm?”Billy isn’t sure what’s worse, having this discussion at all or having it with someone so clinical about it. Not that he would’ve preferred some sleezy doctor out of a porno, all sexual innuendo and knowing looks. That’s never been Billy’s thing, and it certainly isn’t now. But it’s almost more disconcerting to have the doctor be this blasé.“Billy?” the doctor prompts. “When you are erect, do you orgasm?”“Sometimes,” Billy whispers. He clears his throat and says it a little louder. “It takes a while, though.”Dr. Conan nods, still typing. “And are there specific things that make it easier or more difficult to achieve orgasm?”Billy doesn’t know how this is relevant, but he’s not about to ask. “I, uh, if I’m not thinking about it a lot. And if I’m not thinking about myself, if that makes sense? Like, sometimes I listen to, uh, Audios. Or read something. But it’s like, it’s other people doing that, not me.”“So you are more easily able to achieve orgasm when you are depersonalized or disassociated from yourself.”“You make it sound like, like a mental issue when you say it like that.”“Is it not?” Dr. Conan is still typing.Billy flounders, unsure how to answer.“Have you achieved orgasm with your partner?”“Sometimes. Like I said, it takes a while.”“And how does he feel about that?”Billy frowns. “That’s not your business.”“Billy,” Dr. Conan says, quiet but firm. “I am your doctor. I am here to help you. But to best help you, there are many pieces of information that I need. What may seem irrelevant to you is very important to me. I wouldn’t ask otherwise.”Billy sighs and rubs his hands together. “He says… he says it makes him feel like I don’t really love him.”Dr. Conan nods impassively and types for a few more seconds before pushing away from the computer. “Okay. Thank you for telling me that, Billy. I know that was uncomfortable.”Billy laughs nervously, because what’s he supposed to do, say it wasn’t?“I’d like to take a look at a few things on your body now. I’ll step outside for a moment. If you could please strip out of your pants and underwear.”“Um. Don’t I get a gown?”“Of course. They’re in the drawer under the bed. I’ll knock on a few minutes.”He steps out of the room without further ado, and Billy unbuckles his belt. He knew this was coming, or, he knew it was a possibility. But he was hoping this could be resolved with a chat and some bloodwork, maybe. A hormone test or something.He takes off his pants sand underwear then checks the drawer for gowns, but it’s empty. Just as he starts to cast around for another drawer, maybe, or a cabinet, there’s a perfunctory knock on the door and Dr. Conan is stepping inside.“Ah,” he says.“No, uh.” Billy blushes. “The drawer is empty.”“The nurse must have forgotten to refill it. Sorry, Billy, but this will be quick. It would probably take me longer to hunt down something for you. Are you comfortable to continue like this?”“Sure,” Billy says, not entirely certain if he believes that. But getting this over with sooner is definitely preferred. He climbs back up on the bed and watches the doctor briskly wash his hands then sit on the rolling chair and wheel himself to the foot of the bed.“Lay back and spread your legs a little for me,” Dr. Conan says. “Good. My hands are a little cold.”Billy jumps as the cool touch lands on his inner thigh. Weren’t doctors supposed to wear gloves? “Um.” He tries to look down, but the movement shifts his legs and the doctor tuts softly.“A little wider,” Dr. Conan says, and Billy obeys, laying back again and staring up at the ceiling. “Good boy,” the doctor says, almost absently. He’s so close that his breath tickles Billy’s skin. “I’m going to inspect your testes and penis now.”“Okay,” Billy breathes.The doctor’s hands are cold, but they begin to warm quickly. Billy feels hands cup his balls, rolling them slowly. It’s gentle at first, then firmer. And rougher.“Uh—”“This may be slightly uncomfortable,” Dr. Conan says calmly. “If you feel sharp pain, tell me immediately.”“N-no pain, just. Um. Strange.”“Good boy. Testes appears normal. No visual anomalies and I don’t feel any lumps.”The doctor’s hands stroke over his balls one more time then slide up to Billy’s penis. It’s the same routine, a soft grip that steadily gets firmer and rougher. It’s dry, and Billy winces a little at the rough drag.“Oh, my apologies, Billy.”The touch leaves for a moment then returns, slicker. His grip on Billy is smooth, and his hand moves more quickly. His other hand rests on Billy’s thigh, gently pushing as a silent reminder to keep his legs spread.“Remember,” Dr. Conan says, “if you feel sharp pain, tell me.”“Okay,” Billy whispers, blinking quickly. The grip is tight and fast, and the doctor is starting to twist his hand slightly. It doesn’t hurt. It…it feels a little like he’s going to. He’s going to—“Ah, excellent,” Dr. Conan says. “I’m going to bring you to full erection now, just to make sure everything is working well in that department. If not, it could be a blood pressure issue.”“Couldn’t you just take my blood pressure then?” Billy asks, breath catching in his chest as he feels his body responding to the physical stimulation.“There are many other causes behind erectile dysfunction aside from blood pressure, Billy,” the doctor says. “The way your penis becomes erect helps me determine what, if anything, is wrong.”“Okay,” Billy says, for lack of anything else to say. He’s fully hard now, and the doctor squeezes slightly.“Good firmness,” Dr. Conan notes. He moves his hand to grip the base of Billy’s cock and squeezes firmly, slowly dragging his hand up to the tip. “No lumps.” The hand leaves the returns, slicker than before. The doctor rolls back Billy’s foreskin and grips the base of Billy’s cock with his dry hand, moving Billy’s cock to rub the exposed tip firmly in circles against Dr. Conan’s slick palm. “Does this hurt?”“N-no,” Billy says, mind spinning. “It’s s-se-sensitive, though.”“But no pain?” the doctor presses, rubbing harder.“Not painful.” Billy shudders, feeling a little precome spurt from the head.“Pre-ejaculate released normally. Any pain from that?”“No.” A slick finger rubs right across the slit, and Billy shudders. “That didn’t hurt,” Billy rushes to say. “I just. I wasn’t expecting it.”“Of course,” Dr. Conan says. “Consistency is normal. I’d like to see a little more, though.” His hand wraps around Billy’s cock and starts stroking briskly—and that’s what this is, Billy can’t possibly call it something else. The doctor is stroking him off.“D-doctor—”“I know this seems strange,” Dr. Conan says. “But you said yourself, you have difficulty bringing yourself to orgasm if you are not distanced from yourself. This is the most expedient solution. You can distance yourself from this as much as you need to, Billy. I’ll take care of this.”Billy twitches at a particularly strong grip that twists just so at the head. “I…Are you going to make me come?”“Yes,” the doctor says. “I need to see what happens to your body when it’s aroused. And what happens when you ejaculate.”“Oh,” Billy says. He swallows, his mouth dry, and feels his cock leak a little more precome.“It’s the best way for me to evaluate if anything is wrong,” Dr. Conan explains. His voice is the exact same even tone as when he was taking his notes at the start of the appointment. Billy tries to latch onto that, to the fact that his doctor is doing this to him but it’s just part of a medical examination. It’s not a sex thing, it’s a medical thing. Slowly, he relaxes back into the bed.“Good boy,” Dr. Conan murmurs. “Just relax and let it happen. This should go a little faster if you relax and just let me do this.”The slick hand is still moving, almost hypnotically consistent. It feels good, like scratching a mosquito bite feels good. That feeling that he shouldn’t be doing this, but continuing because it’s more satisfying in the short-term than not doing it.Except he isn’t doing it. He’s just letting it be done. And that…that catches on something in his mind, makes his breath come a little faster.“Good boy,” the doctor says, and his hand starts moving a little faster. “That’s it. Just like that. Have you or your boyfriend experimented with prostate simulation?”“Uh.” Billy tenses before he can stop himself. The hand twists in that just-right way and Billy melts back into the bed. “I’ve done it to my boyfriend a couple times. He, he hasn’t done it to me.”“Have you done it to yourself? It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Billy.”Billy shakes his head. “I, it always seemed weird. To—to touch myself there. I don’t know.”“Okay.” The hand that has been resting on Billy’s thigh this whole time twitches. “I’m going to touch you there, Billy. We need to make sure you’re not having prostate issues either. And since you don’t touch yourself there, I want to do a thorough examination.”Billy nods. “Okay. That…that makes sense.”“Good boy.” Both hands leave Billy’s body, and he hears water running. Then, the rubbery slide-snap of a glove. Oh, god. One hand wraps around Billy’s cock again, slick and gentle. “Just remember to relax. This will feel strange, but I’ll be as quick as I can. Push out for me.”Billy scrunches his eyes shut and pushes, shuddering as something cool and slick presses against him.“That’s it, Billy. Keep pushing. The speculum will feel a little cold at first.”Billy gasps as he feels the cool metal, lubed and, fuck, sliding into him, pressing gently but inexorably against those rings of muscle at his opening. It’s strange, and invasive, but Billy licks his dry lips to say, “It doesn’t hurt.”“Good,” the doctor says, and then the speculum passes some point and just fucking sinks into him without any more resistance. “Oh, that’s so good, Billy. Good job. Just breathe.”The other hand around his cock stroke more quickly for a few pumps, building that arousal back up. Billy is dizzy with confusion, his body reacting to all this strange physical stimulation without any input from Billy’s brain.
You said it yourself, you have difficulty bringing yourself to orgasm if you are not distanced from yourself.
Billy almost laughs. Apparently, his body has no problems at all with arousal when he isn’t the one behind the wheel. Fuck.There’s some more pressure at Billy’s hole. The doctor says, calm as ever, “I’m going to touch your prostate now,” and then Billy’s twitching uncontrollably, arching away from the sensation as a finger rubs against something inside him that’s tender.“Hurt?” the doctor asks.“No,” Billy admits, forcing himself to relax again, or try to. “No, but. It’s so. It’s very.”“Yes, I’m sure it’s a lot.” The doctor lets go of his cock and rests his wet hand on Billy’s hips, holding him in place. “It can feel very good, if you let it. I’m almost done. I just need to check a little more.”“Okay,” Billy says, closing his eyes. The touch returns, so soft at first. It circles around that spot inside Billy, mapping out the area maybe. Then it starts rubbing, alternating between a circular and a back-and-forth movement. Billy can’t help the way his thighs spasm, body dancing at the end of the doctor’s finger.“Nothing feels strange,” the doctor reports. “Your prostate doesn’t feel inflamed or swollen. That’s very good.”Billy wheezes. He’s so hot he feels like he’s burning up, sweat beading and making his skin stick to the bed underneath him. He’s never felt like this before. He doesn’t know if he ever wants to feel like this again.Dr. Conan removes his finger then slides the speculum free. The emptiness is jarring, and Billy almost asks for the doctor to put it back inside.“Almost done with the examination,” the doctor says. “You’re doing so good. All I need to see now is your ejaculation.”He goes back to stroking Billy’s cock, and his other hand lowers to cup Billy’s balls. He caresses them gently, stroking and rolling and cupping. One finger lowers to press against the skin behind Billy’s balls, and he gasps, feeling that foreign hook in his lower stomach. He’s only felt this a couple times, and fuck, it’s scary. And exhilarating.The doctor starts rubbing that stretch of skin as he increases the speed of his strokes, and Billy starts really writhing now, gasping and sweating as he feels that hook twist in him, coiling tighter and tighter and—He gasps loudly, back arching off the bed, as his orgasm hits him. He sinks back down to lay flat, breathing heavily as his cock jerks in the doctor’s hands. The doctor keeps stroking him through the orgasm, then past it.Billy whines as the euphoria fades and his cock gets sensitive. “H-hurts,” he whimpers, trying to squirm away, and the doctor immediately lets go.“Good boy, Billy,” the doctor praises, stroking his thigh gently. “Thank you for telling me.”There’s a snap as he removes his gloves, then the sound of water running again. The hands return, and something small rubs across his lower stomach. “Just taking a semen sample for analysis,” the doctor says soothingly. Then a warm cloth brushes against his skin, and Billy shivers as the doctor gently wipes him clean.“You did very good, Billy. Your ejaculation was normal, you clearly found pleasure in it and experienced no pain or discomfort.” The doctor stands and moves to the head of the bed, reaching down to gently coax Billy into sitting upright. He returns to his rolling seat and clasps his hands on his lap. “I saw no issues or anything of concern. Your body is performing normally, Billy. We can run some blood work to be extremely sure, if you would like, and I’m going to send the semen sample to the lab for tests, but as of now my conclusion is that your lack of arousal is due to your asexuality and not caused by an underlying medical issue.”“Thank you, doctor,” Billy says. His heart rate is slowing, and he’s embarrassed now, sitting naked from the waist down with his dick hanging out.“Billy,” his doctor murmurs, then he’s moving closer and kissing him gently, soft lips and a comfortingly familiar touch as he cups the back of Billy’s head. “You were so fucking good, baby. God.”Billy whimpers and pulls his boyfriend into a hug, ducking down to rest his head on Parker’s shoulder.“Here,” Parker says, and he leans back enough to help Billy pulls his underwear and pants back on. Then he climbs onto the bed and wraps Billy up in his arms. “Shit, baby, you came so hard. How was it, was it everything you were hoping?”Billy shakes his head. “More. Holy shit. It was…I’ve never felt that…that much…” He huffs, annoyed that he can’t find the words.Parker hums and presses kisses all over Billy’s check and throat. “Here, drink this.” He holds a juice box out, straw bumping against Billy’s lips. Billy hadn’t even seen Parker pull that out. He drinks obediently, letting his weight completely sink against Parker as Parker runs his hands across Billy’s body. It’s sexless and comforting, and Billy is so happy he would purr if he could.“You know I don’t feel that way about you being ace,” Parker murmurs against his throat. “Right? I love you the way you are. I fucking love all the ways you show me you love me.”“I know.” Billy smiles and kisses Parker. “I love you, too.”