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Aspen Print sat in front of her mirror, anticipating the exciting and wonderful day to come. She knew for a fact that today would be both exciting AND wonderful; for today was her wedding day!She thought of all the magnificent times her and Jack would have together…. As husband and wife! At last! Aspen could barely contain her excitement as she fiddled with her platinum blonde hair, tousling it into different styles.Aspen had always been too tomboyish and intellectual for matters such as hairstyles. She considered throwing her hair into a cute-yet-casual messy bun— her go-to most days. Maybe a ponytail? Or something with a bow?Aspen was pulled from her predicament when her bedroom door slammed open, revealing one extremely excited (and bouncy) Judy Paige.“Oh Aspen, I can’t believe the day is finally here!! I can’t believe you’re GETTING MARRIED!!!” Judy screeched as she threw herself around Aspen’s chair and shoulders.“I can barely believe it either!” Aspen replied, giggling like a little girl (which was weird because she’s usually so intellectual). “Honestly, Judy, I thought Jack might never propose. All that rambling about worthiness…”“I KNOW!!!” Judy exclaimed. “It got pretty inoperable after a while.”“I think the word you’re looking for is insufferable, Judy.”Judy stuck her tongue out in response to this, feigning anger at Aspen. Of course, Aspen was intellectual enough to know this was all some silly game and she shouldn’t take Judy’s slight to heart.Aspen sighed and turned back to her reflection, lamenting her now-messy hair.“Believe me, I’m more excited for this wedding than anyone, but what am I supposed to do about my hair? Or my makeup? You know I’m far too wise and intelligent and sophisticated for this, Judy!”“What’s all the commotion?” Called out a wobbly voice.“In here, Granny!” Aspen responded.Granny stepped into the bathroom, her creaky walker clicking on the tile floor. “Aspen dear, what is with all this giggling nonsense that you are up to?”
“I told you, Granny, today’s my wedding to Sheriff Jack Newsworthy!” Aspen sighed dreamily. Just the thought of Jack's stunning smile and shining chocolate brown orbs meeting hers at the altar sent her heart singing.“Wedding to the Sheriff? That’s news to me.” Granny sniffed. “Are you really going to leave your hair like that? Please. If you care about my poor old heart at all, let me do your hair into something that won’t send your fiancé running for the hills.”Aspen sighed. “If you insist, Granny. Judy? Have you sold the papers today? I want everyone to know about this very special day!!!” She resisted the urge to squeal. She was an intellectual, mature woman, not a school girl.Judy saluted with her left hand. “You got it, Aspen” and she skipped off.Granny dug her hands into Aspen's hair. “Now, how do you feel about a half-down updo with a fishtail braid?”Aspen sighed. Not even the most journalistic part of her could make sense of those words.
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Judy Paige happily skipped down the asphalt sidewalk, newspaper bag under arm. “Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Jack Newsworthy and Aspen Print’s wedding tonight! Whole town invited! Extra ex-““FOR THE LAST TIME, GET THAT DISGUSTING THING AWAY FROM ME!” Yelled a posh accented voice.Judy glanced around with her curious orbs, searching for the source of the harsh words. Her gaze eventually landed on a familiar pair, who were standing in an alley, trying to be inconspicuous (and failing horribly).“Oh come on, it ain’t that bad, Andy.” Panhandle, the local hillbilly pickpocket, assured his associate. “The critters were already dead before they were sewn together.”“I don’t care, stop shoving it in my face!” Whined Anderson, the former butler of a certain villainess.Judy had no idea why those two were back in town, considering the fact that she hadn’t seen either of them since their bosses had been jailed. She discreetly crept closer, listening in on their conversation.“We need to get down to business, Panhandle. If we’re going to take down our ruthless superiors, we need a plan.” Anderson sneered.“I already got one!” Panhandle replied in a chipper tone. “[melvin write panhandles plan here later can’t think of anything right now]”“No, no, no! That will never work! Luckily, I have already thought extensively about how I can ruin Chiffon’s career. The key to our success is that wedding.”
“A wedding!? I didn’t know there was a wedding!!!” Panhandle exclaimed.“It’s all anyone has been talking about for the past week, you blockhead! If we can ruin the wedding and then pin it on Chiffon and Sleazy, they won’t ever be accepted in town again!”“Weren’t they not accepted in town before?”The two sidekicks continued to bicker as Judy seethed. RUIN the WEDDING?!?? The wedding that Aspen, Judy, and the whole town had been anxiously anticipating for years?!?? Not on Judy’s watch! Maybe if she……. sabotaged the saboteurs?Judy sprung out from her hiding place, prompting screaming from both Panhandle and Anderson.“Wait, wait! Calm down! I want to help you!” (This was all part of Judy’s awesome amazing master plan, you see. She was smarter than most people gave her credit for. She was going to only pretend to be on the side of Anderson and Panhandle, cleaning up their messes as they attempted to ruin Aspen’s wedding. Judy had never been able to lie, however— good thing Panhandle was dumb as rocks!)“Oh sure! We could use the help, right Andy?” Panhandle said, holding out a dirty hand for Judy to shake.“Put that hand back, you sewer rat!” Anderson yelped, pinching Panhandle's hand between two dainty gloved fingers and moving it back to its owner's side. “How do we know we can trust her?”Judy leaned against the wall and pulled her hat over her eyes, trying to look as mysterious and cool as possible.“Maybe you can trust me, maybe you can’t…” Judy drawled. “But I can be your inside man. I can get you into places noooobody else can.”Panhandle lit up at this offer. Anderson was harder to read, but Judy could tell he was interested as well.“She could be just what we need, Andy! Earlier you were saying it’d be an issue to—““Hush! Stop giving out our secrets like candy!” Anderson snapped, clapping his hand over the pickpocket’s mouth.Anderson stayed quiet for what felt like an eternity, thinking over how Judy could fit into their plan and whether she could be trusted. Just when Judy was getting antsy enough to leave, Anderson finally spoke up.“….We will let you help with our plans. You are an invaluable pawn in our mental logic chess.” Then, his voice dripping with shame, “And you’ve already heard our plan anyway. This way, I can keep an eye on you and make sure you don’t utter a single word of our scheme.”“So it’s a deal?” Judy held out her hand, maintaining her cool and mysterious exterior.“I guess.” Anderson sighed as he shook Judy’s hand.
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Sleazy Tab Lloyd felt more like Sleazy Sad Lloyd as he moped up the stairs of the wedding venue. Today was a day filled with happiness and love for only some people, leaving none for poor old Mr Lloyd. The embodiment of love, Jack Newsworthy, was slipping away from Sleazy’s grasp with every step he took further down the hall.Sleazy lamented that day…… that terrible day that Jack arrested him. And he didn’t lament it for being thrown in jail, no; he lamented it because that was the day he realized he truly loved Jack Newsworthy. He had feigned disgust in the moment, but in their rose-petal strewn mixup, Sleazy felt a love stir inside him that he had never felt before, like lightning striking him through the chest and sending his heart and brain into a flurry of contradicting thoughts and emotions. Part of him was filled with butterflies— The other part was filled with horror at the stirring of said butterflies.“Who do you think was in charge of the decorating? A six year old?” Chiffon DeLure whispered, walking alongside Sleazy. She then made sure to laugh extra hard at her own joke to make up for Sleazy’s somberness.“What has you so mopey, Lloyd? You’re really raining on my parade, you know.” Chiffon huffed. Sleazy made no effort to respond— Chiffon would only get territorial of Jack if Sleazy told her about his woes.Now arriving in the main wedding hall, Sleazy slumped himself down on a bench. The citizens of Four Corners clamored around Mr Lloyd— some talking of that horrendous Edward Torial, others talking of the wedding, and others still chatting about the mythical Dusty. Sleazy quickly realized this was possibly the worst spot for him to choose— right between Chiffon and that insufferable Granny Print.Speaking of insufferable, where was that Panhandle? Sleazy realized with a jolt that he hadn’t seen that rodent all day.However Sleazy didn’t have too much time to ruminate on this thought as the officiant, Edward Torial, and the handsome Jack Newsworthy walked down the aisle.Sleazy allowed himself to stare at Jack, just this once. After all, this might be the last long look Sleazy could get at the sheriff before he was locked behind a wedding band for all of eternity. Jack walked down the aisle with his usual cowboy swagger, his formal suit looking out of place compared to his muddy shoes and dust-filled hair. This messiness would usually disgust Sleazy, but on Jack, the dirt just made Sleazy think of desert sunsets and long, romantic horse rides.Sleazy tuned out the rest of the ceremony, only staring into Jack’s beautiful chocolate brown eyes. Sleazy felt a sharp stab of longing in his chest as Aspen walked down the aisle, stepping up next to the altar and taking Jack’s soft hands in hers, a thing Sleazy would give all the riches in the world to do.This was sure to be a long, long night.Very rudely interrupting Lloyd’s thoughts, Edward loudly ushered Ms. Pickles over. He couldn’t even officiate without his asinine soapbox. Once the box was placed at his feet, and Edward rose to average height, the vows finally began.“My friends and fellow voters…” Edward was suddenly interrupted by a shriek of terror coming from… the bride herself!!!“It’s missing! My ring is missing!” Aspen cried.Judy, standing at Aspen’s side, turned beet red at those words. She was supposed to be in charge of the wedding ring, evidently.“Say, Aspen, are you sure? I could’ve sworn it was right there in the ring box!” Jack said, reaching towards his bride in a gesture of comfort.“Well I just opened the ring box and it WASN’T THERE!” Aspen’s bottom lip trembled as her eyes threatened tears.“Calm down, Ms. Print!” Edward shouted. His political tone of voice wasn’t very conducive to comforting crying brides. ”We’ll send the guests out to search for the ring. Trust me when I say: our citizens of Four Corners will leave no stone unturned, no nook and no cranny—““Oh give it a rest, will you? Aspen’s crying and all you’re doing is giving a speech!” Judy exclaimed. “Everybody, search for that ring! There’s a prize of…. Uh….. Ten thousand dollars for whoever finds it!”Chiffon turned to Sleazy, a money-hungry glint in her eye. This offer certainly made the wedding a bit more interesting.
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Panhandle snickered, satisfied with the hiding spot he’d picked for Aspen’s ring. Nobody would possibly think to look in the fountain outside!The guests had scattered throughout the wedding hall now, searching desperately for the ring that was the source of so much ire on this wedding day.
“I wouldn’t search there. Why would the ring be in the food?”“This younger generation is truly hopeless.”Mr. Grizzly and Mrs. Pickles stood off to the side, preferring to heckle the action instead of participating in it. Perhaps Jack frantically searching through (and ruining) the reception buffet was worth a bit of heckling, however. From the mac and cheese to the candied fruit, no food was graced with the mercy of Sheriff Newsworthy.
Wanting to get in on the judgement-passing action too, Panhandle began to glare daggers at Mr. Grizzly and Mrs. Pickles. He’d never liked those two on account of their devotion to Edward Torial.“What are you squinting at?” Mr Grizzly asked, glaring right back at Panhandle.“Well, you! And I was glaring! Was it not obvious? Do I hafta work on my evil glare more?” Panhandle asked, completely dropping his intimidating and scary persona.
Mrs. Grizzly and Mr. Pickles glanced at each other, dissolving into laughter.“This nincompoop doesn’t even know what a rhetorical question is!” Mrs. Grizzly exclaimed. This comment caused the two of them to laugh even more as Panhandle simply stood there, confused.“Honestly, why are we even looking for this ring? I wouldn’t be surprised if this streetrat stole it!” Mrs. Pickles said.Mx. Grizzly nodded and turned to Panhandle. “Why exactly aren’t you searching for the ring with everyone else anyway?”
Panhandle’s stomach dropped at this accusation. He’d never been able to lie.“Uh…..um….well……….uhhhhhhh………..The popcorn!” Panhandle said, whipping around and bolting in the other direction. Unfortunately, a familiar fussy butler was standing right behind him. Panhandle barreled into Anderson, nearly toppling him over. Anderson righted him, albeit with a slightly disgusted expression.“Watch where you’re fleeing!” Anderson said, brushing Panhandle residue off of his suit. He then turned to Mr. Grizzly and Mrs. Pickles. “Are you and Mr. Grizzly actually going to help with the search, or are you only going to commentate? Rudely commentate, might I add.” He sniffed.“There’s no need for us to help. We believe that with Edward Torial leading the search, the ring will be found in no time.” Mr. Grizzly said, puffing out his chest.“Oh yes. Honestly, why doesn’t everyone just give up searching and let Edward find it? I’m sure he’d find the ring in no time.” Anderson said. Panhandle glanced at him incredulously. How could he praise Edward Torial?After a bit more chatter with the old people, Anderson turned around, motioning for Panhandle to follow him. The two of them left the main room, wandering down some hallway. Panhandle had absolutely no clue where they were going; the halls all looked the exact same to him.Panhandle prepared his angry face. He would need it if he was going to confront Anderson about his Torial touting back there. He summoned his inner Sleazy (the most intimidating person he could think of) and spun on Anderson.“Andy- I mean, Anderson, how could you praise Torial like that? You didn’t… vote for him, did you?” Panhandle asked. The nervousness in his voice crept through more than he meant it to.“Oh, of course not! But I had to keep Mr. Grizzly and Mrs. Pickles satiated. The less people are searching for the ring, the less likely it is to be found!” Anderson rolled his potato brown eyes.”Ohhh, I see…sneaky!” Panhandle giggled mischievously at this. Anderson really had this whole evil plan figured out!Panhandle’s head spun thinking of all of the diabolical plots he and Anderson could enact together. Horse theft, bank robberies, best friend sleepovers where they spilled all their secrets and then painted each other's nails while giggling at romcoms… the possibilities were endless!“Say, Andy, I’ve been thinking. What if we kept scheming together AFTER the wedding?” Panhandle said. “We could be the greatest criminal best friend duo this town has ever seen! We could have friendship bracelets and everything!”Anderson stopped in his tracks at this proposition— seriously considering Panhandle’s offer for best friendship, Panhandle was sure.Panhandle was taken aback when Anderson started to…laugh?Anderson laughed and laughed and laughed, so hard tears started to drip down his posh face. At a certain point, Panhandle became scared he’d run out of air and faint right in front of him. He hadn’t ever seen the butler laugh that hard before. Actually, he hadn’t seen him laugh at all before.“Me? With you? Committing crimes?” Anderson asked when he regained his composure just enough to get words out.“Yeah, that’s what I just said!”“Oh Panhandle. Sweet, stupid Panhandle. You think I’m happy to be working with you?” Anderson asked. Panhandle nodded sheepishly, his face contorting until it was identical to a kicked puppy’s.“...I figured you wouldn’t be scheming with me if you didn’t want to be friends...” Panhandle squeaked.“You could not be more wrong, Panhandle. This is all business to me. This wedding, this scheme, this partnership. It’s always been business.” Anderson stated, fixing his suit cuffs. “So put those fantasies out of your mind and let’s see our plan to completion, yes?”“Yes, Anderson...” Panhandle mumbled, looking down at his dirty shoes and the rest of his filthy outfit. The dead squirrels Panhandle had sewn into a scarf remained his only true friends in this world; the only souls who would truly listen to his woes. They were the same as him on the inside: Empty.
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Chiffon DeLure doesn’t lose. She doesn’t lose at horse races, she doesn’t lose at auditions, and she certainly doesn’t lose at searches for lost wedding rings.…Which was why Chiffon DeLure was currently digging with her hands in the flowerbeds of the wedding hall, praying the nearby fountain wouldn’t splash on her hair. Extremely ungraceful and out of character, sure, but Chiffon was willing to be both of these things when $10,000 was on the line. If Anderson or Sleazy were here, she’d have made one of them get their hands dirty for her, but Anderson had been gone for days and Sleazy was too mopey to help anyone lately. Chiffon’s life was, truly, very difficult and tragic and hard.Chiffon was jerked out of her thoughts by a new, slimy texture that assaulted her searching hands. Grimacing, her eyes scanned the new stains that covered her head to toe. She wondered if she’d ever get the smell of garden soil out of her boa.“Never thought I’d see Ms. DeLure digging for buried treasure.”Chiffon whipped around at this comment. Who said that?! Who’d witnessed Chiffon at her lowest?!Standing behind Chiffon was Aspen Print, her wedding dress billowing out from her observing place. Chiffon looked the bride up and down, silently judging every aspect of her.
“Only a country bumpkin would choose to wear a braid on her wedding day.” Chiffon sneered.“Oh, really? At least my hair isn’t coated with dirt.”“I am looking for your wedding ring! The least you can do is show me a little respect!”“The least you can do is stay out of my wedding after attempting to steal my soon-to-be husband!”“Oh, that’s it!” Chiffon leapt at Aspen, ready to rip her hair out. Maybe she wouldn’t have gone directly for the incessant grammar snob under most circumstances, but digging for hours under the beating sun was certainly not most circumstances.Chiffon and Aspen tussled for a long moment, an ensemble of viewers forming at the commotion. Someone started to chant.“Fight! Fight! Fight!”The rest of the ensemble of guests joined in. “Fight! Fight! Fight!”The two women wrestled and shoved and kicked and bit and yanked and scratched, inching closer and closer to the fountain until, with fight-ending finality, Aspen pushed Chiffon into the water feature. Aspen’s face became indiscernible through bubbles as Chiffon’s whole body fell into the water.When Chiffon surfaced from her little swim, she was fuming— almost too angry to notice the glint on the floor of the fountain’s pool.Chiffon glanced downward, worried she lost a diamond earring, but was surprised to see a wedding ring shining underneath the water. Any displeasure Chiffon felt over falling into a fountain disappeared as she grabbed the ring, holding it up for everyone to see.“I did it! I found the wedding ring!” Chiffon yelled. Then, regaining her classy composure, she turned to Aspen. “I’ll expect that $10,000 within the next week, Ms. Print.”“You actually believed that? I’m sorry, Chiffon, but you can’t trust Judy when she says she’ll pay you $10,000. I don’t think there’s that much money in this entire town!” Aspen said. The crowd laughed at this, making Chiffon’s blood boil even more. “I will, however, take that ring.” Aspen snatched the ring from Chiffon's hand. “The wedding is back on!”The crowd cheered, following Aspen back into the wedding hall. They chattered excitedly.“Thank goodness the ring was found!”“I wonder how it got in the fountain…”“Almost feel bad for Ms. Delure.”“I’m only here for the cake.”“Voting is a privilege!”
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Sleazy Tab Lloyd felt like he was being punished by some cruel divine power as he watched Aspen Print walk down the aisle for the second time today. How any guest could maintain excitement for this marriage was lost on him. Chiffon grumbled to herself, sitting at Sleazy’s side.“Rough day for you too?” Sleazy asked, taking in Chiffon’s appearance. She was somehow simultaneously covered in dirt and soaked head to toe. What had she been up to? A Dirt Biking tournament immediately followed by a tsunami? A county fair during a tropical storm? Bullfighting in an aquarium? Sleazy entertained himself with the possibilities.“We shouldn’t have ever come to this foolish wedding.” Chiffon grumbled, mopping the mud off of her skirt with napkins from the inexplicably ravaged buffet.Sleazy turned his attention to the altar, which Aspen had reached by now. Edward Torial stood at the altar, preparing himself for his speech.“My friends and fellow voters…” Edward said. He then paused for what felt like several minutes, tensed, as if waiting for something. “Ah! Nothing interrupted me this time! We are gathered here today to celebrate the marriage of Aspen Print and Jack Newsworthy. Melvin doesn’t know how weddings work or what officiants say, so now it is time for the vows probably. Do you, Aspen Print, take Jack to be your lawfully wedded husband?”“I do.” Aspen said, her fluttery voice filled with all of the love in her heart. Sleazy fought the urge to vomit.“And do you, Jack Newsworthy, take Aspen to be your lawfully wedded wife?”Sleazy kept his eyes trained on Jack in the next moments, praying he’d hesitate. Praying that he’d get cold feet, call off the wedding, and realize he’d been in love with Sleazy the entire time. Praying that he’d remember the special connection the two men shared.Sleazy’s stomach sunk to the floor as Jack looked into Aspen’s eyes and said…“I do.”“Then I now pronouns you—”“I object! I object to the wedding!” Sleazy yelled. He’d shot up out of his seat and shouted the words before he realized what he was doing, as if he was possessed by some spirit of unrequited love. He knew what he must do now. If Jack was going to be kept away from him, across space and time, Sleazy could at least tell him how he felt.
Edward’s eye twitched. “Yes…and for what reason are you objecting?” He said, trying his hardest not to scream.Sleazy ignored the mayor and turned instead to meet Jack's eyes. “Jack, I love you. I have always been in love with you. Ever since we shared that chase scene, I have loved you, and even before then without realizing it. A part of me has always known, but I couldn’t accept it.”He took a deep breath, lower jaw trembling slightly. “I know I am too late, I know nothing can change now………. But I just need you to know. I need you……….. To understand.” He stared directly into Jack's piercing gaze. “I need you.”The room went silent at Sleazy’s spur-of-the-moment confession. Sleazy watched Jack’s face change from confusion, to shock, to… a somber smile?“Sleazy, I…”Just at that moment, Dusty the Pony Express rider came charging through the doors of the hall on his trusty steed.“Dusty!” Everyone exclaimed in unison. There wasn’t a single citizen in this town who didn’t love Dusty— even when he was hours late to the biggest wedding in the town’s history.“I’m not late, am I?” Dusty asked, sheepishly looking up at the bride. “I brought the mail!”“Hooray!” The crowd yelled. Sleazy, however, was in the middle of a confession and would not be having any of this cowboy revelry.“Yes, you are late, Dusty.” Sleazy said, glaring a hole through the cowboy. “So I suggest you lead your horse outside and take a seat.”“My Buttercup doesn’t wait outside, Mr. Lloyd. Now that she’s over her cold, we’re spending as much time together as possible!” Dusty said, hugging the neck of his horse to prove his point.“You tell him, Dusty!” Mrs. Pickles yelled from the back row.Sleazy sighed as he watched Dusty attempt to make Buttercup take a seat beside him. The closest he got was having the stupid horse stand off to the side.“Now, as you were saying, Jack?” Sleazy asked, turning back to the beautiful man at the altar. The sun was setting now, casting Jack’s face in a warm orange glow.“What I was saying, Sleazy…… Is that I was hoping in my soul that you’d object. Because I…the truth is…. I love you too.” Jack said, his deep chocolate eyes staring into
Sleazy’s.Sleazy gasped and ran up to Jack, shoving Aspen out of the way and taking Jack’s tender hands in his. Sleazy’s breath came out sporadic, disbelieving of Jack’s words.“Really, Jack? You really love me?”“Yes, Sleazy. Aspen’s nice, sure, but our marriage was just what was expected of us…what was expected of me. I’ve been truly in love with you ever since you graced our town with your presence. Today, I truly want to be married to you.”The two grooms looked up at Edward expectantly.“Well it’s… certainly unconventional to hijack someone’s wedding… but who am I to say no to love?” Edward proclaimed, then he sighed. “Even if it involves the most evil man any of us know…”Aspen had sat off to the side and sobbed into her palms as the grooms commenced with their vows. Judy had joined her and was rubbing her back, providing any comfort she could.As the happy new couple said their I-do’s and kissed joyfully, the guests gave very confused applause, whispering amongst themselves.“Poor Aspen…”“We have been tricked, we have been backstabbed and we’ve been quite possibly, bamboozled.”“Whoopee! Gay gay homosexual gay!”“I only came for the cake anyway.”“Voting is a privilege!”Aspen only sobbed harder.“Oh, it’s all Panhandle and Anderson’s fault!” Judy said, handing Aspen a tissue. “I’m sure this was part of their plan too!”“Their plan?” Aspen asked through tears, pulling her face out of her hands.“Yeah, their plan! They ruined the whole wedding and hid the ring on porpoise!”“I think the word you’re looking for is purpose, Judy.”The whole wedding hall (with very good hearing apparently) gasped and turned to Panhandle and Anderson at this revelation, who were attempting to sneak very quietly out of the room.They froze upon having the entire room's eyes on them.“Well we’re in hot water now, huh Andy?” Panhandle said, laughing nervously.“Panhandle.” Anderson said, turning to his accomplice.“Yeah, best friend?”“RUN!!!!” Anderson yelled, shaking Panhandle with uncharacteristic panic.Anderson’s gloved hand grabbed onto Panhandle's filthy one, apparently forgetting to be disgusted, and yanked him toward the floor to ceiling doors. Together, the two criminals barreled out of the wedding hall.“Aren’t you going to stop those fools? You are the sheriff, after all.” Sleazy asked, looking into Jack’s endless eyes (and honestly not caring what his old pickpocket and the butler got up to).“They’ll stop themselves, I’m sure. All I’m concerned with is the beautiful life we will share from this moment on.”“Oh, screw this! I’m taking Buttercup and I’m leaving!” Aspen yelled, climbing onto Dusty’s pony (much to Dusty’s chagrin). She majestically rode the pure white horse out of the wedding hall and into the sunset, her veil billowing behind her in the wind, starting her new (very intellectual) life on the frontier.From villains stealing your husband, to butlers crashing weddings, to politicians officiating marriages, truly anything could happen in the wide open Wild West.