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Sierra sat on her deteriorating couch, cigarette in hand. A mist of smoke filled the whole apartment, as she sighed and inhaled some of the smoke. She looked down at her feet, almost in shame as a roach crawled across the floor. The mess of her apartment didn't even phase her. She felt awful about everything. She got Gwen into smoking, which led every other one of her friends down a dark path of smoking. Cody had been infected with the groundbreaking deathly virus, because of her. She had led him on, and ended up breaking his heart.Her phone rang, lighting up the smoke-filled room with a sheer blue light. The rings felt deafening, and her head pounded with a headache she didn’t even realize was there. She leaned across her peeling couch, to grab the phone with one hand, and a cigarette in the other. She strained her arm, not wanting to lift herself from her sorrow, and brought the phone to her face. She took a drag of the cigarette while tapping “pick up“Hello??” she muttered in a raspy voice that she barely recognized.“You need to get to the hospital right now.” demanded a voice on the other side of the phone. She could tell it was Gwen from how she sounded. She never really cared to note anyone’s names in her phone, except Cody. But he blocked her.“Why??” she really couldn't care less about anyone right now, unless someone just died.“Courtney just flatlined. Her lungs gave out.” Gwen said, voice quaking, in a state of shock.Sierra nearly flew up out of her couch, into the foggy apartment.“WHAT?!!!!”She shrieked, grabbing her keys off the table near her window, as she kicked her door open, and sprinted to the elevator. She spammed the “close door” button, just wanting to get to the hospital as fast as she could. Gwen was completely silent on the other end of the phone, at a loss for words Sierra assumed. The elevator dropped under her feet. She stood in complete silence in the elevator, which was slowly filling up with smoke from her cigarette. The elevator beeped, 5 times. Once for every floor, until she reached the ground. She exhaled, as the doors opened, letting out a breath she didn't even realize she was holding.She gripped her keys as she swiftly fled from the smoke filled elevator.“HEY! What did ! say about smoking in the building!” Demanded someone in the lobby. She recognized her as one of the tenants from the floor below her.“My KIDS live here with me. It’s disgusting how you think smoking in front of them is okay.” The lady scoffed.Sierra really didn’t care about what anyone thought about her addiction right now. She just wanted to get to the hospital. Sierra stalked past the staring eyes in the lobby, threw the building’s door open and sped walked to her busted up car. She nearly tore the car door off, as she fell into the driver's seat. She jammed the key into the keyhole, and rested her hands on the steering wheel, staring off into the distance. Her cigarette was almost burnt out. She rolled down the car window, and threw it out onto the pavement below.She turned her head to the right, half expecting to see Cody sat next to her, like how he always did during their relationship. What if he was dead? What if the disease had taken him out? It was a thought that had never crossed her mind, as he was always a grounding point of her life. Leaving him crushed her completely. She felt awful.She squeezed her eyes, trying to clear her mind of the thought of him, as she drove backwards and into the empty street. Her foot almost touched the bottom of the car, as she sped to the hospital, the anxiety fully kicking in. Was it her fault that Courtney died? Not directly, she reassured herself. She gripped the steering wheel as she sped into the main road, leading to the hospital. She had gotten Gwen into smoking, who had gotten Courtney into vaping. So she was partly responsible.Sierra pulled into the hospital parking lot, and speed walked to the glass doors. She hurriedly pushed them open, and saw her friends in the waiting room. Gwen was sobbing, her phone on the arm of the uncomfortable chair. Sierra didn't even realize that her phone was still calling Gwen’s. She quickly pressed the end call button. Gwen was sitting, curled up in a ball, sniffling.“Gwen I'm so sorry..” She croaked, heart pounding in her throat.“I NEVER GOT TO TELL HER HOW MUCH I LOVED HER” Gwen wailed into her knees.“You want a smoke?” she offered, barely thinking. Realization set in. Her friends are dying, and it’s all her fault. She got most of them into smoking, as a coping mechanism for dealing with the horrors of what happened on reality tv.Alejendro, wheeled his wheelchair to face her.“SIERRA WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??” He shouted, enraged.“COURTNEY JUST DIED BECAUSE OF HER ADDICTION, AND YOU'RE ASKING GWEN OF ALL PEOPLE TO GO SMOKE WITH YOU??” Alejendro was furious.“This is the third death we’ve had because YOU keep getting people addicted.” He said, voice dying a bit in grief.“Well DJ died from that weird disease that’s spreading.” Sierra argued, feeling very out of her body. She didn’t know what she was saying.Alejendro just stared at her, with an emotion she couldn't recognize.The loudspeaker in the hospital shouted something she wasn’t paying attention to. The lady at the front desk shuffled away.Stress boiled in her veins, as she reached to her pocket, and pulled out a cigarette box, with one left, a pink lighter, and accidentally pulled out a shriveled dead flower from a hydrangea plant. It was one of the many Cody had ordered for their wedding she canceled, because of her identity crisis. Shame boiled in her throat as she let it drop down to the clean hospital floor.She flicked the lighter weakly, and lit a cigarette, and jammed it in her mouth. She took a deep breath. And exhaled smoke.Fury filled Alejendro’s face, and he screamed at her“SERIOUSLY SIERRA?? IN THE HOSPITAL?? YOU ARE PREGNANT! I THOUGHT YOU WOULD AT LEAST HAVE THE DECENCY TO KEEP YOUR BABY ALIVE SINCE OBVIOUSLY YOU CAN’T KEEP YOUR FRIENDS ALIVE.”Sierra took a step back in terror, as Alejandro covered his face with his hands, cursing in spanish. She wasn’t thinking as she reluctantly tossed the lit cigarette into the trash, which immediately ignited into a massive fire. The room erupted in screams, as she dashed for the door, slamming it behind her, and unconsciously locking it, as she would her apartment door. She kicked the shiny glass door open, as the rain started pouring down.She was completely out of it as she fled to her car, not thinking at all. She ripped her car door open, and sped drove to her apartment, searching for any cigarette stashed away in her messy, dented car. Hot tears started pouring down her face, as she stopped at a lit up gas station, contrasting the dark sky. She hopped out of her car and shuffled her feet into the gas station, to pick up some cigarettes.As she walked up to the checkout, the cashier looked at her with a judging glare, one she recognized. She knew she shouldn't be smoking pregnant, but she was addicted. It was the only thing keeping her in line. She kinda realized she was out of line now. She might have just lit a hospital on fire, with all her friends inside. She payed for her cigarettes, the minimum wage teenage cashier not wanting to refuse a sale.She lit one, leaning against the side of the building, as rain pounded down on the ground. She hoped it would put out whatever fire she might have started. Even if it didn't, it was a hospital, there were probably hundreds of safety precautions in place. She was most worried about herself, and the repercussions of what would happen, as everyone else would be fine and alive and probably not in jail. Except maybe duncan. And Courtney.She walked back to her car, and drove the rest of the way to her apartment building. Finally being sheltered from the hard rain, she wandered into the dark lobby, only being illuminated by the hum of a soft yellow light. She stalked towards the elevator, and lazily closed the doors, not caring much. It felt like time had stopped, and she was just wandering through the frozen world. 5 beeps signaled she had reached her floor.She stepped out of the elevator, and found her way to her apartment, and shook the door handle, before taking the key out of her pocket and swinging the door open. She locked the door behind her, and slouched her way through the mess of her apartment, and sunk into her couch, pulling a scratchy blanket over herself, and putting her cigarette out on the overflowed cigarette tray. Sierra reached for the remote for the tv, and switched to some weird tv show about cops or something.She started crying, barely knowing why. She drifted off to sleep, while the hum of whatever tv show she put on acted as some sort of lullaby, distracting her thoughts, and allowing her to fall asleep.
