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Growing up in the south provided you with a great resilience against many unpleasant weather conditions. Things like blistering heat, humidity that makes the air feel like you are walking through hot chowder, hurricanes, and surprise torrential downpours that flood the streets with less than a days notice. What it didn’t prepare you for was the cold.You thought snow was a fun thing, thanks to all the Hallmark Christmas movie propaganda, but once you moved up north it lost its novelty with a swiftness. It seemed like almost every time the snow came down you would catch whatever virus was currently making its way around your small town. At least this sometimes aligned with snow days so you could hole up in your room and didn’t have to miss too much work or college classes. You moved up here for school and have been staying in your aunts spare room for the semester. It’s been pretty fun but a bit chaotic with all of the houses many.. residents.This seemed to be one of those snow days, or snow weeks, I guess. You woke up the day before the heavy snow with a tickle in your throat. Hoping you weren’t coming down with something, you mixed up a drink with far more than the recommended amount of Vitamin C packet mixes in hopes of delaying the time and severity of your impending illness.“Scurvy?” You hear a gruff voice ask behind you in a playful tone. “What?” You asked, looking over your shoulder at the green haired agent of chaos that apparently “came with the house” in Delia’s words. “All the vitamin C you’re taking, I assumed you are perhaps trying to fend off a bout of scurvy. You’re not losing teeth yet are ya? How long have you been at sea?” He teased. You turned to roll your eyes at him and hopped up to sit on the countertop. “I don’t have scurvy, Beetle, I don’t think anyone’s had scurvy in this century.” You replied. “Hey there’s no shame in the scurvy game, babe! I had it twice myself, and it only killed me once.” He said, while leaning against the counter beside you and flashing you a cheeky grin.He had a habit of making jokes about his death, none of you knew how he actually died. One day he would have an elaborate story about how he bit it fighting a bear in Russia, “If you think I look rough, you should’ve seen the other guy.” He would jest. The next day he would say he got caught impersonating a nun after living in a convent for four years leading to his execution. An hour later he said it was dysentery. You assumed it was probably something more along the lines of the latter. If he did die of some Oregon trail ass disease, it would make sense that he would prefer to come up with some wild story that was more entertaining than the truth.You threw back the chalky drink quickly so you wouldn’t have to taste it for long. When you finished, you sat the glass down on the counter between the two of you. “I have a bit of a sore throat, I’m hoping it isn’t a cold.” You told him, answering his scurvy accusations once and for all. He looked at you curiously, scanning you for signs of illness. Your eyes looked pretty tired, the color seemed somewhat drained from your face, your hair was messy in a way that told him that you didn’t have the energy to care about it. “Hey,” he said, in a softer voice than is characteristic of him, “You do seem a little foggy. Maybe you should get a little more rest.” You were pretty tired still, maybe a nap would help. You nodded in agreement with him and trekked up the stairs to your bedroom. He stayed planted in the same spot, seemingly contemplating.You woke up with a pounding headache and your left nostril completely blocked. The window in your bedroom betrayed the time to you, it was dark outside. Fuck, how long had you slept? Must have been at least 6 hours. You pick up your phone to check the time and see texts from your aunt and cousin asking if you are ok or if you need anything. “BJ says you have scurvy??” Read one of Lydia’s text bubbles. You were a little irritated with him making a joke out of everything but you did find it kind of funny. “He lies,” you texted back, “I’m certain it’s something much worse. Perhaps the black plague.”Not thirty seconds after you hit send, you heard a knock at your door. You weren’t really ready to get out of bed, but now that you’ve answered a text, the whole house is aware that you’re awake. You open the door to see Delia standing there with her arms full of crystals that she shoves into your hands. “Here, put these around your bed, they are for healing and protection, and this one’s for love! Ooh and positive energy!” You struggle to not drop the jagged crystals as they are forced into your hands. “I have to go run some errands real quick, before we get snowed in tomorrow.” She continued, “But there’s soup on the stove, the throw blankets are still warm fresh from the dryer, and I’ve told Lydia to give you your space so you have full reign of the TV if you wanna watch something. I’ll get you some medicine while I’m out.” She spun on her heels and disappeared down the stairs as quickly as she had appeared.You dropped the crystals by the foot of your bed and paused for a minute. The pounding in your head was peaking. You needed ibuprofen. As you came downstairs you saw Beetlejuice and Lydia sitting in the kitchen, Lydia finishing up her bowl of soup, Beetlejuice sat on the counter casually chatting about netherworld gossip. They both stopped and looked up at you as you descended the stairs. You paused. You walked into the kitchen trying to keep as much distance as possible from the other two, and grab the ibuprofen bottle from on top of the fridge. “You good?” Lydia asked. “I’m bad.” You replied, wrestling with the child lock on the bottle. “I knew you were a bad girl.” Beetle teased, “I can always tell.” He chuckled to himself. “Beetle, seriously?” Lydia said, shooting him a look of disdain mixed with mild exasperation. “Serious as a heart attack. I know a brat when I see one.” He answered without breaking eye contact with you, smiling deviously. He was physically incapable of being serious, you were sure. It was a little annoying sometimes, but honestly something about him still shamelessly flirting with you when you knew you looked like an actual dumpster fire was.. charming? You didn’t even want to look at yourself in the mirror right now and here he is still unable to take his eyes off of you, grinning like an idiot.You shake out a few ibuprofen, at least one pill more than the recommended dose, and throw them back before pouring a glass of water to wash them down with. You just want the headache to ease up soon. You get a bowl of soup from the pot on the stove and retreat to the farthest corner of the kitchen, hoping not to spread your plague, and sit on the floor with your soup. Lydia and Beetle watch you with a puzzled expression until you look up and see them staring at you. “I don’t want either of y’all to catch this from me.” You answered to the question nobody asked. Lydia looked back at her bowl, satisfied with your answer. “I’m probably gonna go chill in my room, so you don’t have to worry about getting me sick.” She announced as she stood to put her dishes in the sink before turning to leave. BJ however, was still sat on the counter, now kicking his feet playfully. “I can’t get sick.” He beamed. “What?” You replied. “I’m already dead! I don’t catch any of your weird breather sicknesses. I don’t even have to breathe.” He was grinning ear to ear, totally pleased with himself.“I remember how awful colds were, you just want to curl up and cuddle someone but you can’t because you would get them sick too. Well baby, not a problem here! You can bring all your biohazardous love right here to me.” He said while pointing both of his thumbs at himself and sporting an exaggerated smile. You could hear Lydia groan in disgust as she reached the top of the stairs. You rolled your eyes at him and moved to sit at the table, since the only infectable patron had retreated, and sipped your soup. He was right, partially, when you were sick all you wanted was to be held, but you would never let him know that. “You really can’t get sick?” You asked curiously. “Nope.” He answered. “So what are we doing tonight? Wanna watch a movie?” If he ever took his eyes off you, you didn’t see it. “I do have one movie I always watch when I’m sick.” You replied, he gave a little inquiring eyebrow raise. “It’s Die Hard, isn’t it?” He teased in a lower but confident voice, “Not my first choice but anything for you babe.” He finished. That made you chuckle a little bit. “No,” you answered, “It’s kind of old, but I think you will like it.”
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Mel Brooks movies have always had a special place in your heart. You already love the feel of older films, and the addition of the wit and humor really solidified them as classics to you. You were partly surprised that someone who’s been around as long as Beetlejuice hadn’t seen “Young Frankenstein”, but you were more than excited to introduce him.As soon as you sat down on the couch, Beetle pelted you with pillows, and covered you with the fluffiest of the throw blankets. He plopped down on the couch a few inches away from you and started messing with the remote to get your movie started. You watched him silently. You did like him. You wish sometimes that he was a little less forward, that you could get to know him better behind all the pickup lines and tall tales. You were happy that he was here with you now, and that he can’t get sick, so at least you don’t have to be alone. He’s good company.Throughout most of the movie, you found yourself glancing over at him at all your favorite parts, curious to see his reactions. He seemed to really enjoy the film. He also seemed to think he was being smooth as he scooted over to be closer to you. You tossed part of the fluffy blanket over to cover him as well. The outside of his knee was touching your thigh, it occupied more of your thoughts than you cared to admit to yourself. He stared at you for a minute. You pretended not to notice. He turned his attention back to the film. After a few scenes of the film passed without you taking them in at all, since your mind was focused on the warmth of his body next to you, you felt his hand move onto your knee.You froze for a moment and met his eyes. You were content with the situation, and he read that on your face, which he took as a green light to move his hand slightly higher and more to the inside of your thigh. With that small movement you felt the heat rise in your body in a way that you weren’t prepared for, you put your hand on top of his hand holding him still. You start to pull his hand away from your thigh and he goes right into his apology “It was worth a shot, you don’t have t-“ he shuts up when he realizes that you aren’t removing his hand, but you pull it behind you to your opposite shoulder so he has his arm wrapped around you. His eyes widen a little in a mixture of surprise and relief. “I’ll take it.” He chuckles and cuddles you closer so you lay back slightly on his chest, where you stayed nestled comfortably for the rest of the film.You almost fell asleep. Close enough to fool Beetle at least. As the credits rolled he watched you as your chest rose and fell with each breath, and pressed a kiss into the side of your head, before resting his own head against yours. He had wanted to hold you like this for so long. All he could think was that he hoped you wouldn’t wake up yet, so he could have you in his arms until the morning. His dream dissolved when you were hit with a fit of coughing and you pulled yourself away from him out of the habit of trying not to cough near infectable humans.You leaned forward where you were sat on the sofa and he softly rubbed your back as you coughed. Once you gathered yourself you turned to him to tell him goodnight, muttering that you should go to bed. He grabbed your hand in both of his before you could rise, looking up at you with a nervous expression you were certain you’d never seen from him before. “Do you want me to come with you?” He carefully tried to phrase it in a way that made it sound like he was offering a favor rather than a plea. You paused for a moment, still a little hazy from having been so close to sleep, and cupped your free hand around his hands. “I just want to sleep. I don’t want you to try any spicy stuff.” You said in a slight groan. His voice dropped to a sweet low tone, “Hey, it doesn’t have to be anything like that, we can just sleep.” He almost whispered. You looked at him with big eyes that asked your question for you. He pushed a piece of your matted hair out of your face, “Nothing like that, just like..” he gestured to how the two of you were cozily entangled on the couch, “Just like this. Like this but on the bed.” You answered by getting up and pulling his hand that held yours behind you as you walked towards the stairs.
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You fell asleep with his arms wrapped around you and his face nestled into your neck, legs intertwined and sheets hopelessly tangled. Which made it all the more abrupt to wake up and feel the bed empty beside you. “Figures” you thought to yourself. He must’ve lost interest or decided it was too much, you were mentally preparing your diatribe when you heard your bedroom door creak open. You turned slightly to see Beetle tiptoeing into the room with a mug and a copper teapot. He didn’t realize you were awake as you’d been deathly still, and you felt the bed dip under his weight as he crawled over to coil himself back around you as if he had never left.After a few more minutes of being wrapped around you, he propped up slightly on one arm and slowly started to trace a finger, feather light, up and down your spine. When he saw your lashes start to flutter open, he smiled at you and sat up on the bed to pour you a hot cup of tea. “How do you feel?” He asked in his raspy voice, even more gravely since he had yet to shake the sleep off. You felt terrible. Your headache had dulled but it was replaced by a feeling of pressure in your sinuses, you couldn’t breathe through your nose at all, and your throat felt like you’d gargled tacks. You told him all of this and he listened intently as he put the exact amount of sweetener you liked in your tea. He must have been paying attention to your habits before. Before he handed you the tea, he pulled out a water bottle he had prepared with those vitamin C mixes. “For the scurvy.” He urged with a coy smirk as he handed you the bottle. You started to laugh but it turned into a coughing fit. Once you stopped coughing you threw your head back and groaned miserably. “I know it sucks, baby, I’m sorry.” He said, as you leaned forward to bury your head in his chest for a minute. When you sat back up you drank the vitamin C, and then he handed you the tea. Tendrils of steam rose off of the surface of the tea. You could see out the window just past him how the snow was coming down outside, it made your warm bed and warm tea feel a million times cozier by contrast. The tea was perfect, exactly how you like it, and it soothed your sore throat. You look over at his little setup and see he has ibuprofen and cough drops for you as well. Why did you brush this guy off for so long. Was he always this thoughtful?“I need to shower.” You said, suddenly very aware that your messy bun was now somewhere around halfway down your back, with half of the hair free from it at this point. It took you ages to brush out the loc of tangled hair that had formed at the nape of your neck. The steam from the hot shower did a little to help unblock your sinuses. You stepped out feeling slightly better, almost human. You wrapped yourself in a towel and hurried back to the safety of your bedroom. When you walked in, you saw that your laundry basket, that had been spilling out onto the floor, was empty. Your bed was made, and atop the duvet there was a neat stack of clothing. Your favorite oversized flannel that you liked to sleep in, sweat pants, your comfiest boyshort undies, and warm fuzzy socks. They were warm like they just came out of the dryer. You dressed yourself and came downstairs in search of the responsible party.You stepped into the kitchen just in time to see Lydia and Delia pulling cookies out of the oven. Lydia’s mom had always enjoyed baking with her on days they were snowed in, and Delia did her best to try to keep the tradition alive. That was one of your favorite things about Delia, she cared about details like that. Lydia didn’t wait for the cookies to cool before popping a still-gooey sugar cookie in her mouth. “They are always the best before they cool enough to be solid” she said when she noticed you watching her. “Soup.” you groaned as you moved towards the fridge to dig out last nights leftovers. Delia sent Lydia upstairs and set aside some cookies on a plate just for you as she chatted “How are you feeling today? You should eat a lot. That ‘feed a cold, starve a fever’ stuff isn’t true you know. Your body needs fuel to fight off the virus. Food and hydration are the most important.” She said in what seemed like a single breath. “I’m feeling less achey but more congested.” You answered, to the original question she had already moved on from. She sat down the plate of cookies in front of you, they were shaped like little snowflakes, and she placed the back of her hand on your forehead. “Warm, you definitely have a fever.” She said decidedly before continuing, “Is BJ doing a good job keeping you company?” She asked as she walked back to the sink to clean up some of the carnage from scratch baking. You felt your face flush a bit at her question. Did she know that he slept in your bed last night? What does she think happened? Is she teasing you? You turned back to your soup to hide any blushing that might be noticeable and decide to play it cool. “Yeah actually, he’s been really helpful. He brought me tea and meds this morning.” You said. “He can be sweet when he wants to be.” She said as she laughed a little, “He told me he can’t catch a cold, and that he will try to take care of you so Lydia and I can keep our distance.” She said, wiping her hands dry on a tea towel. “Let me know how that goes, I will be happy to step in when he starts to get under your skin.” Delia chuckled as she tossed the towel onto the counter and headed up the stairs.You sat there and enjoyed your soup in solitude. The quiet was blissfully still.Where was that green haired little freak, anyway? You didn’t have to wonder for long. As you held up your bowl to sip the last dregs of soup you heard a slight creak of the chair across the table from you. When you lowered the bowl you saw him perched across from you. His elbows on the table with his hands supporting his chin while he shot you an intentionally goofy smile. He held the pose and the eye contact, with one hand swooping down to steal a cookie before resuming its place in his silly pose. “Hey sugar.” He said. “Hi.” You said with a small laugh. “You look hot.” He added, hoping to get a full giggle. “I am hot. Delia says I have a fever.” You replied, deciding to just slide past his remark, even if it did make you feel a little fuzzy in your chest. “I did think you felt a little hotter than you should be last night. Wait.. fuck. that came out wrong.” He stumbled a bit over his words, “I don’t mean in a spicy way, you didn’t want that, just your temperature seemed high.” He explained. “I knew what you meant.” You smiled at him.You spent the rest of the day, which wasn’t much since you had slept until noon, lounging around the living room. Reading a book, flipping through the TV looking for a show to binge, never finding anything to settle on. Beetle was a looming presence all afternoon. He brought you cups of tea occasionally, and busied himself with his own book, a paperback with a red cover and a title that read “How To Stop Being Such a Chick Magnet: A Guide for the Excessively Sexy.”You knew that this was joke, he conjured the book as a bit and was waiting for you to comment on the outrageous title, you weren’t about to take the bait and give him that satisfaction. You did however feel the magnetism, you wanted to snuggle up to him again but you felt like you didn’t want to come off as too clingy, or give him the chance to joke about his book being ineffective. Fortunately you didn’t have to initiate, because as you sat on the other side of the sofa he shifted over and laid his head in your lap. Your fingers hastily found their way into his hair and you twirled his locks with one hand while your other hand massaged his scalp. His whole body relaxed. You could have sworn he started to purr.You kept one hand in his hair and with the other hand started running soft fingertips back and forth across his shoulders, alternating patterns, drawing circles and spirals. He melted under your touch. “BJ?” You started to ask him a question, when you got no reply you realized he had fallen asleep. Well, this is very cute and all, but now you are trapped on the couch because you don’t want to wake him up. Hopefully you don’t have to pee any time soon.
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He finally woke up a couple hours later, but not before the polish dried.While he was passed out, you noticed Delia’s manicure kit was left out on the side table, within your reach. You took advantage of the opportunity to do one fun thing while you were arrested under his head and arms. He was always a pretty hard sleeper, so it wasn’t difficult for you to give him a full manicure complete with cutting, filing, and polishing without him stirring. Delia was usually a French manicure kind of gal, so the only colors that were left out were pink and white. Fortunately, you had gotten really good at making tiny designs and had dotted his nails with little pink and white flowers. It was actually some of your best work with nail polish, you were certain that had a lot to do with your client being unconscious.He awoke with a yawn and a dramatic stretch after which he immediately went limp like a rag doll. He laid that way for a moment before he turned over onto his back to look up at you. He didn’t break his silence immediately, he studied your face for a bit, you could tell he was trying to think of the perfect creepy thing to say, and it just occurred to you that his position in your lap was dangerously close to your netherworld. “Scurvy looks good on you.” He said with a sly smile. There it is. Not creepy as you were expecting, though. “You’re just saying that now because I still have all my teeth.” You replied teasingly. “You would still be cute with no teeth.” You could tell he wanted to add a dirty comment, you could see on his face that he was exercising Herculean restraint to not be salacious. “You do know it’s not scurvy, right? Like I just want to clarify that this is a bit and you know it’s just a common cold?” You asked. “There’s nothing common about you, babe.” He answered. You rolled your eyes at the cheesy line. “Yes I know it’s not actually scurvy, I was a sailor at one point, I saw enough of it to know the signs. I ate citrus in some form every day for months after that, lemonade, lemon bars, screwdrivers, margaritas, a cake with a 40 orange glaze, and I was already dead at that point!” He replied. “I didn’t know you were a sailor?” you said with an eyebrow raised.“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me,” He said, raising his eyebrows suggestively, “I used to sail under Blackbeard!” “I’m calling bullshit.” You replied. He chuckled, “Well maybe not THE Blackbeard but he had a beard and it was black.” He defended. You rolled your eyes again. “How did your crew mates feel about your whole, you know, being dead thing?” You asked with a genuine curiosity. “Would you believe me if I told you it was a ghost ship?” He asked. You started to reply to his rhetorical question but he continued. “We weren’t all dead when we set sail. It’s pretty convenient to have a few specters onboard though, a pirate who can’t die in battle is a valuable asset. Those long journeys though, lots of reasons why sailors don’t make it to their destination.” He paused, for dramatic effect, you were sure. “Like scurvy?” You asked. “You got it, girl.” He nodded in agreement. “Anyway at one point we ended up with no surviving crew, and we entertained ourselves by hiding and scaring the shit out of anyone who encountered our ship. Good times.” “Spooky.” You remarked. “That’s my whole job.” He grinned.For a moment the two of you were silent, just looking at each other, and the next moment he was on his feet. You took the opportunity of no longer having him in your lap to finally take a trip to the bathroom. Meanwhile in the kitchen he busied himself with preparing some spicy instant ramen. As he emptied the seasoning packet into the soup, he noticed the tiny flowers adorning his nails and smiled widely to himself. He was really enjoying getting so much time with you. You were usually swamped with school and work, and quality time with the strange specter haunting your aunts house wasn’t a priority in your little bit of free time. The time you did have was usually spent together with the girls. He had never had you all to himself before like this.He came back into the living room with the instant ramen and some capsules of NyQuil. As he sat them down on the coffee table in front of you he teased “By the way, for future reference, I am more of a stripes guy.” He smiled while playfully flipping you off with his floral nails. He didn’t rejoin you on the couch this time, instead he walked around behind the couch and bent down to hug around your shoulders. “You should have some dinner and get back to sleep soon.” He said with his cheek pressed to yours before rising. You turned back to look at him as he started to leave, “BJ?” You called before he reached the door. He looked back at you with his eyebrows raised inquisitively. “You can sleep in my room again tonight, if you want.” You felt embarrassed to say it, yet the embarrassment was quickly replaced with a slight giddy feeling as you saw his face light up a little before he caught himself and tried to play it cool. “Okay yeah, yeah I can do that,” he said, barely concealing his delight at your proposal. “I’ll meet you up there in a little bit.” He continued before turning back to leave again. You smiled to yourself as you enjoyed your noodles and then headed up the stairs.
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In the morning you found yourself curled up on your side, your eyes opened to see the empty space in the bed next to you. Before you could wonder where he had gone you heard a slight creak of the floor boards behind you. As you started to turn over he realized you were awake and started to speak, “You know, I know you said no spicy stuff but you gotta admit, this green is really my color!” You rolled over to see that dumbass striking a goofy pose in the mirror while wearing pieces from your slutty poison Ivy costume from Halloween. You threw your head back in laughter and it knocked loudly onto the headboard. Within a second he was on his knees on the bed next to you making sure you were okay, but struggling through laughter to ask. You couldn’t stop giggling to answer him anyway. As you were both still cracking up he placed his hand on the back of your head where it had made impact and stroked your hair soothingly. He was leaned over your body just inches from your face. Your eyes were locked in a mutual stare as you both couldn’t conceal your giggles. He broke the eye contact for a micro second to look down at your lips and then right back at your eyes.You don’t know which one of you moved first, it may have been both of you, but your lips crashed together and you pulled his body down on top of yours. You wrapped your arms around his neck. His hand was still in your hair and he ran his fingers through it as he kissed you. He pulled away slightly to plant soft kisses all over your face, and then rolled his body so that you were both lying on your sides facing each other. He pulled you closer to him and wrapped his arms tightly around you as he returned to your lips. God you were so glad he couldn’t catch your sickness. You passed your tongue gently between his lips and your fingertips softly caressed his back. That seemed to be like a magic spell for him, every time you touched him that way you could feel all the tension in his body dissipate. He pulled away from the kiss to pull you into his chest and planted a kiss on the top of your head. You started to move your hand down his chest and as you started to slide your fingers under the waistband of the green costume bottoms, he stopped you. “Ah, you said no spicy stuff.” He said with a wave of his finger and a smug teasing grin. You shot him a look but the smile on your lips betrayed your amusement.He rolled onto his back and pulled you partially on top of him. You had your head on his chest and one leg thrown over his. He was, of course, still wearing the green pvc corset and cheeky underwear. “I guess the green really IS working for me.” he teased. You rolled your eyes but nestled into his neck as he stroked your hair. You fell asleep like this for a while, you aren’t sure how long, but when you woke up he was still holding you tight, playing with your fingers on the hand you had on his chest. “Can I ask you a personal question?” You asked nervously. “Six inches but it’s thick.” He replied without missing a beat. You slapped his chest but laughed anyway. “Thats definitely not what I was going to ask.” “Maybe, but you definitely wanted to know.” He said with a low chuckle. “I have a SERIOUS question.” You said. “Go ahead, angel.” He replied while planting another kiss on your forehead. You paused for a moment, still afraid to ask. “How did you actually die? Like truly? No funny anecdotes or tall tales. What really happened?” You almost whispered your query. He froze for a few moments staring up at the ceiling. You almost regretted asking the question in the panicked anticipation until he started to speak. “There was a girl.” He started, “We loved each other. I loved her for years before I ever got the courage to tell her. We had a few really great years together, the best years of my life. This was a long time ago, girls couldn’t really choose who they wanted to be with, it wasn’t like it is today. I wasn’t a rich man, her dad forced her to marry a man that could pay more for her hand.” He paused. You started to say you were sorry but he started again. “Her husband was cruel. He moved her far away from the city where no one ever saw her. He hurt her.”He had an expression on his face you had never seen from him before. Hate. He continued after a pregnant pause, “I was powerless. I tried everything to get her out of there, every time we escaped he would send someone to find us and drag her back to him, and every time he treated her worse. I would have killed him if I’d had the chance. One day I finally managed to get her to freedom, we ran away to Marseille where we were far enough from anyone who knew him and could betray our location. For a few months she was safe and we were happy.” He took a deep shuddering breath. “and then?” You asked, immediately regretting prompting him to relay what was clearly a painful memory. “Well,” he went on, “When we made our escape, she was four months along carrying his child.” When he said this you gasped a little but tried to stay quiet. “They um.. didn’t make it. Her or the baby.” He said, with a faint tremor in his voice. “It came too early. She lost too much blood, there was nothing I could do to save either of them.” The silence that hung in the air after he spoke felt as if it could outweigh an elephant. You wished you had never brought it up. You wished you could hit rewind and ask him why his hair was green or something instead. He started to speak again, “I couldn’t forgive myself for everything that happened to her. I should have been able to protect her from him.” You heard his throat catch as he spoke. “So I uhh… I.. drank enough whiskey to drown a horse and uh.. strung myself up.” He finished the sentence in a whisper, looking down with unbroken focus at your hand that he was fidgeting with. You were stunned into silence. You stared at him with an expression of shock mingled with sympathy. “Yeah..” he said, “It’s not as exciting as the Pompeii story or as funny as the convent one.. the truth is.. decidedly less sexy. That’s why I don’t usually talk about it.”You sat together in silence for a while. Taking in everything that was just shared, letting it sink in. You didn’t know what to say, or if there was anything you could say that would mean anything. You planted a soft kiss on his temple and just held him for a while. When the silence began to threaten your sanity, you whispered into his ear, “You did everything you could for her. I think that makes you braver than Blackbeard himself.” He chuckled a little under his breath, “Blackbeard was actually kind of skittish. He just had a great PR guy.” He playfully gave your thigh a light slap and started to move off the bed, you had to unstick your skin from the PVC corset which made you both burst out laughing again. “We should probably get out of bed,” he said, “You need food. And I need to get out of this outfit, it’s starting to chafe.”
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You tossed him one of your oversized band tees and a pair of sweats to change into, and you slipped on a cozy cable knit sweater and fleece pajama pants. Lydia and Delia would know something was up when they saw him wearing your clothes, but you figured they were both pretty smart and had already sussed out that something was going on with you two. If nothing else, the Maitlands would rat you out because there’s no way Beetle wasn’t going to brag about it to them, and your room was close enough to their attic that they probably overheard the two of you. Charles would likely remain oblivious until enlightened by Delia.You were feeling a lot better today. There was still a solid rasp to your voice, and some lingering phlegm in your throat, but you were certain you were on the up and up. You had slept late again, you always got a lot of sleep when you were sick, and you must’ve missed everyone because you didn’t run into anyone when the two of you came down around lunchtime.Brunch. That’s what you wanted right now. Beetle didn’t always eat, he didn’t have to, but the guy had a sweet tooth and never turned down a good waffle. You got out the waffle iron and his eyes lit up. “Yes. Immediately yes. Let’s do it.” He said as he started gathering ingredients. He started to ask “Chocolate chi-“ “Yes, obviously.” You cut him off. In no time he had the batter mostly mixed and the front of his Tshirt was covered in flour. He started to pour the mini chocolate chips into the bowl but you grabbed his arm and stopped him. “Trust me” you said with a smile. “The Waffle House in the town where I grew up always added the mini chocolate chips on TOP of the waffle instead of mixed into it. I didn’t understand why the first time I ordered it, until I added the butter.” You paused for effect, “the butter and the chocolate melt together and spread over the waffle perfectly. Believe me, that chain smoking line cook there on work release knows EXACTLY what he was doing.” You insisted. “Isn’t Waffle House the one where people always get in fights?” He asked. “Yeah they are also dirty and some of the people are rude but the food is good enough that people keep coming back anyway.” You answered. Only people who have lived in the Waffle House region really understand it. It’s charming in its own disgusting way, like Beetlejuice!You irreparably wrecked the first waffle. No first waffle is ever good. “The first waffle is always a sacrifice to the breakfast gods.” You explained. “Is it meant to be a burnt offering?” He teased. You dipped your finger in the batter bowl and dotted the batter onto the tip of his nose. He immediately licked it off with his long tongue and you both chuckled as you turned to pour the next bit of batter into the waffle maker.When the two of you agreed that the stack of finished waffles was an acceptable height, you both set to work topping your respective waffles. Beetle decided to try out your butter and mini chocolate chip combo and immediately kissed you on the mouth. “600 years and I’ve never thought of this. What have I been doing all this time?” He remarked. “Waiting.” You answered. “Take me to Waffle House someday?” He pleaded. “I think it might truly be the happiest place on earth.” He added. “Trust it is not just a Waffle House but a Waffle Home. The best part for you is you don’t even have to worry about how your arteries are clogging in real time, you’re already dead.” You said, joking, but slightly jealous of his gastric liberty. “Bury me in bacon grease.” He said as he applied the magic combo to the next waffle.“I believe it’s my turn to ask you a personal question.” He started. “Oh yeah?” You said, with one eyebrow raised. “Where have you been all my death?” he asked sarcastically with his signature cheeky smile. “Uhhh not alive, for most of it, and then mainly Waffle House.” You replied, finishing the last of your waffle. “The age gap doesn’t freak you out?” He asked nervously. “Well I figure the years you’ve been dead don’t really count towards your age, since you stopped aging when you died, and you clearly stopped maturing as well.” You said with a mischievous smirk, “So really you’re just like, a thirty something year old guy with 600 years of experience. You’re a hell of a lot more interesting than folks my age, nobody has lived long enough to have good stories… I know half your stories are made up but at least you’ve lived.” You meant what you said, you always felt like most people were just going through the motions and letting life happen to them, it was refreshing to hear from someone who despite literally not having life anymore, still chose to make something from what they had. Beetle smiled thoughtfully. He hadn’t expected that response. He wasn’t sure anyone, himself included, had ever thought of him in that way before. He certainly didn’t know how to reply, but he felt relieved and.. seen.“We should get you a clean shirt. You look like Ronald McDonald with a cocaine problem.” You teased, gesturing to all the flour on his shirt. “Hey, I may not be covered in cocaine, but I can keep you up all night.” He replied with a sly smile. “Promise?” You shot back. His brows shot up in surprise and arousal, you’d never flirted back with him quite so aggressively before. “You betcha, babe!”
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The two of you weren’t even fully through the door of your bedroom and he was already tugging up at the hem of your sweater. The second the door shut behind you he picked you up and pinned you against it. You wrapped your legs around his waist and felt him getting harder against your thigh as his hot breath was on your neck. He planted kisses from your ear down to your shoulder before returning to your lips. You bit and sucked at his bottom lip and he slipped his tongue between your teeth. Your hands were tangled into his mess of green hair. He started to rock against you.He threw you over his shoulder, walked over, and tossed you onto your bed, crawling between your spread legs. He slipped his hands under your sweater and let out a sigh as he touched your soft, supple skin. You sat up to pull the sweater off and as soon as your arms were free, he pushed you back down onto the bed and started trailing hot kisses along the line of your clavicle, moving down towards your breast. He cupped your breasts in his warm hands and traced circles around your nipples with the pads of his thumbs. He sucked playfully and teasingly at each nipple, alternating between them. A shock went through your whole body as he bit down on one of them, you cried out, causing him to pause and look up at you for confirmation that he wasn’t hurting you. You answered him by grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him back to your chest. He resumed his work, nipping and teasing and licking and sucking at them until you felt his hot hands slipping down your back, then under the waistband of your pants, gripping handfuls of ass.You pulled his shirt over his head and he sat back to remove your pants and your underwear. He took your now bare leg in his hands and started a new trail of kisses up the inside, starting at the ankles, the kisses getting looser and sloppier the further he went up your inner thigh. You were already dripping by the time he made it to your slit. He glanced up at you and waited for your nod of approval before he hooked his arms around your thighs and pressed his fingertips into your hips, sinking his tongue into and along you. He let out a short moan of satisfaction, for so long he had wanted to taste you, your warm wet spread over his face and dripping from his chin. He licked you clean and teased your clit with the tip of his tongue before flattening it against you and sucking. Your back was arching off of the bed and your hands were in his hair, tugging at his green locks. You were trying desperately not to crush his skull between your thighs. Panting between your moans of pleasure, you gasped for what small breaths you could manage.Music to his ears. As you started trembling beneath him he slipped a finger into you while he continued sucking your clit. This sent you over the edge and he could feel your walls contract on him as you came. He crawled back up to your face to kiss you. You could feel his hard bulge against you, waiting to be freed. You tugged at the elastic of his sweats and he obliged, pulling them off and tossing them behind him. “Six inches, but it’s thick, hmm?” You teased with a wicked smile. It looked like more than that, but you never knew him to be modest. He let out a low chuckle as you rolled him onto his back.He seemed a little surprised to see you take over the lead. You took his length in your hand and smiled at him before swinging your leg over his chest to straddle him, facing away so that your ass was in his face. His cock was hard and ready. You spit in your hand and started gently working it with your hand, teasing the tip with your tongue. You sucked at the head for a while before taking the length of it, still working your hand down the shaft. You were getting wetter by the second sucking on his warm cock, and he was stealing little tastes of you between his shuddering breaths. You stopped abruptly. “Why’d you.. stop? ..Babe?” He asked as he caught his breath. You dismounted and turned to face him.You crawled up to his face and gripped his throat while stealing a wet kiss. Sweat was beading down his forehead and little green tendrils were sticking to it. He looked at you with a wild look of hunger and desperation in his eyes. “You did say you know a brat when you see one.” You teased as you were slinking back to your rightful place and mounted his hips. His chest was rising and falling at a rapid pace under your hands, his eyes glued to you, you steadied his cock under you and slid down onto it slowly. He watched you lustfully as your eyes rolled back in your head “Always rolling your eyes for me baby,” He said in a low growl, “I like it best when you do it like tha- OHhhhh“ he started to joke but was cut off with a moan of pleasure as you took his full length into you.You started to bounce slowly. You knew he was already close, you wanted to drag it out if you could. His head rolled back as he started bucking into you, matching your pace. His hands were on your hips, pulling you down onto him hard. You felt yourself getting close to a second orgasm. You shift your body forward so that your clit hit his pubic bone for extra stimulation. He gripped your ass tightly as you both picked up the pace, both of you moaning as he thrust himself into you. You were so close.In a flash you were on your back. He had flipped you over and tossed one of your legs over his shoulder as he straddled the other on his knees. He held your leg on his shoulder with one hand and the other was rubbing your clit as he pounded into you. You were breathless. He knew how close you were as your legs started to tremble and you let out a wild noise. He was close too. You pulled him down onto you, locked your legs around his waist and came hard seconds later. He followed as your walls contracted on him and you felt the warm sensation of being filled. After a minute, he collapsed onto the bed next to you, both of you gasping for air. Once you caught your breath, he pulled you onto his chest and you laid there in his arms as you both fell asleep.You awoke from your nap a few hours later, to the sound of Beetle blowing his nose. You looked at him a little confused, “BJ?” You asked. He raised his brows “What?” he replied, tossing the tissue in the trash and sniffling a little. “You’re sick.” You said, looking at him through narrowed eyes. He avoided your gaze. “Beeeeeeeeejaaayyyyyyy?” You asked suspiciously, “Did you tell me you couldn’t get sick so you could spend time with me?”The look painted on his face was something between guilt, mischief and mild amusement. “What could possibly make you think that?” He said dramatically with an impish grin. You rolled your eyes while shaking your head at him, but barely concealing a smile. “There’s my girl.” He beamed, as he bent down over you and stole a kiss.