Actions

Work Header

Unconditional Acceptance

Entire Work

Work Text

James "Rhodey" Rhodes sighed and checked his phone for the twelfth time in an hour. It was more of the same, really: half a dozen concerned messages from Pepper Potts and radio silence from everyone else.He didn't know what he'd expected. More? Yeah. He nodded to himself. More. He didn't expect the ex-Avengers to visit him in the Compound, In fact, he hoped they wouldn't because the last thing he and Tony needed to be accused of was harboring fugitives.But a few "thinking of you, Rhodey," texts would've been nice. Maybe a bouquet of flowers or a card? Weren't they his friends still? He supposed not. They'd fought together. They'd been a family… and now they weren't.It sucked, more than getting hurt, more than being interrogated when he was lying in a hospital bed, unable to move his legs, paralyzed and pain-filled, more than the fact that his boyfriend hadn't touched him in over a month and hadn't looked him in the eye in even longer.He didn't know how much longer he would be able to take Tony's distance from him. Rhodey had no illusions about the man in his life; emotional support wasn't Tony's strong suit, but if they couldn't figure out a way to be around each other anymore, it was going to break them and Rhodey just couldn't lose one more thing at the moment.He retrieved the remote from the table beside his wheelchair and flicked the TV off, not that he'd been paying much attention to that episode of Law & Order anyway. He set the remote down and weighed his phone in his hand for a moment, hesitating before he called Tony."Huh," he said, thrown when Tony immediately picked up."What is it?" the engineer asked in the careful, wary tone Rhodey was so unaccustomed to hearing from him."You answered on the first ring," he pointed out, setting the phone on speaker and shaking his head.Tony snorted. "I have caller ID… and JARVIS.""Tony, you have never answered on the first ring in the entire time I've known you," Rhodey pointed out, unable to help himself.There was a pause and then Tony said lightly, "Sorry. It won't happen again. Hang on."Tony immediately hung up on him and Rhodey blinked, startled. Then he smiled and the beginnings of a soft laugh escaped him. That was more like it, more like the old Tony. It amused him to no end when he had to call back three times before Tony finally picked up again.The teasing felt so much more natural than this caution, guilt, and distance. It felt easy again, more like the Tony and Rhodey of the last four years and less like whatever they'd been lately… strained to say the least."Make it quick, Platypus," Tony snapped with feigned impatience. "I am slammed down here.""Sure you are," Rhodey muttered, rolling his eyes. "I was thinking about dinner.""And you called to update me?" Tony said teasingly. "As much as I enjoy getting some insight into your thought processes, babe —"Rhodey groaned. "Are you going to have dinner with me tonight or not?""Yeah, I'll be up in a little while," Tony promised, but Rhodey only sighed, knowing it was a lie."How long is that?" he mumbled doubtfully, glancing down at the over-sized wheel just to his left. "I've hardly seen you the last five nights.""Well, I just move that fast. Blink and you'll miss it," Tony replied, the slight quaver in his tone betraying him."I miss it, Tony," Rhodey said quietly. "I miss you."A painful lump rose in his throat and he choked it down, swallowing hard, refusing to let himself cry. Tony didn't say anything either and the silence stretched on so long that it became almost unbearable.But then, mercifully, Tony broke it. "I know," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "I'm sorry, babe. I'm just… I need to fix this and then everything will go back to normal, I swear."Rhodey sighed. "By 'fix this,' do you mean me?""I have to make this right," Tony insisted, sounding close to tears himself."You have to stop," Rhodey pleaded, wishing he could go to him now. "Look, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but you can't make it like it never happened, Tony.""I can sure as hell try!" Tony said fiercely.Rhodey shook his head and said wearily, "I need you to stop trying, baby.""That's not who I am, Rhodey," Tony said, sounding almost apologetic.Rhodey raised his free hand and rubbed his eyes tiredly. In a sense, he'd expected this. He'd known when he woke up in that hospital in Germany that Tony wouldn't stop until he'd found a way to assuage his guilt over what happened and that was what had Pepper so worried, not how well Rhodey was coping, but how badly Tony was coping."I need you to see me as I am, Tony," he murmured, trying to keep his tone gentle. "Will you just come up here so we can have this conversation face-to-face?""I can't," Tony said immediately and predictably. "I'm too busy.""I'm coming down there," Rhodey declared, setting his phone in his lap and gripping the hand rims on the wheels of his chair."No, you're not," Tony flatly protested. "You can't right now. Give me a week, two, tops, and I'll have you running down those stairs to stop me from doing stupid shit."Rhodey scowled. "That might be the most ableist thing you've ever said."Tony sighed. "Sorry. But I swear I'm almost done. I can fix this, Rhodey!""Tony, nothing you build down there is going to change this," Rhodey insisted, wishing he could get through to him that he didn't need Tony's tech, just Tony."Well, that shows how much you know me," Tony said in a voice that held none of his usual charming cockiness.He was exhausted and frightened and honestly, Rhodey was too. Not of the loss of his mobility (he hadn't had a minute to process that). No, he was afraid that this was going to be what cost him Tony and the thought of that was too much to take."Do you think that you can build yourself a bionic boyfriend and nothing will change between us?" Rhodey exclaimed, picking up his phone from where it had slipped between his thighs. "Look, if you wanna develop some mobility aids that make it easier for me to get around, by all means, but the longer you look at me and see something broken that needs fixing —" he broke off, tears welling in his eyes as he croaked, "You're getting too far away, baby. Come back before you can't.""I just… it's my fault," Tony said miserably. "I have to make it right. I have to!""I get it," Rhodey said in a voice of forced calm. "You can't fix things with Steve —""And I don't want to!" Tony interjected angrily."That's your call. But you can't fix me either and I need you to stop trying," Rhodey said desperately. "Stop seeing me as broken and start seeing me as a person again, as the same old Rhodey, as the guy you fell in love with. Come up here or I'm coming down there, whatever the cost."There was silence for a moment and then Tony said quietly, "You won't."Rhodey set his phone on the coffee table and gripped his hand rims. "Try me."Tony's panicked voice issued from his discarded phone as Rhodey moved, pushing the wheelchair toward the hallway. "JARVIS, is he —""Approaching the stairwell, sir," the AI confirmed."FUCK!" Tony practically flew up the stairs, tripping on the last step and crashing, cursing, to his knees in front of Rhodey, who just looked at him. "Jesus, Platypus!" the engineer exclaimed. "Don't scare me like that! I'm sorry, okay? I… I just need —""This is about what I need, Tony," Rhodey insisted, keeping his voice level by sheer force of will. "I need time to process this. I need you to let me work through it. You trying to undo it isn't helping my head space right now. I need you to be present. Not down there, up here, with me. Just hold my hand, have dinner with me, watch a movie, kiss me until I can't breathe, but be here, okay?"Tony's eyes glistened, tears welling in their mahogany depths. "But if I can help —""If you can (which I don't doubt)," Rhodey said warmly, leaning forward and cupping his boyfriend's cheek with his hand, "we will talk about it when I'm ready, when and if I want high-tech help, not on your schedule, not because you're trying to hide from it by building —""A bionic boyfriend?" Tony said with a wet chuckle, wiping his eyes. "That wasn't half bad, Platypus, and you're right. I'm sorry. I just… I'm scared and I can't undo anything else —"Rhodey shook his head, silencing him with a look. Tony still didn't get it and maybe it was going to take more than one conversation and a few more tears before he did. It was what Tony did when he was hurting; he fixed things, but Rhodey couldn't be one of those things."You can't undo this, Tony," he said slowly and clearly as Tony sighed and seemed to accept that fact at last. "It happened and it sucks, but we just have to find a way to deal and that's not by ignoring it or trying to replace what I lost. I need you to love me as I am. Not as the Bionic Man. Not if I walk again. Unconditional acceptance, Tony. Can you give me that?"A tear trickled unchecked down Tony's cheek, but he nodded. "I can do that. I… I swear. I'll stop until you give me the go-ahead. I'll… I'll work on being here. I'm… I'm sorry, babe. I didn't ask what you wanted or needed and I should've."Rhodey smiled and brushed the lone teardrop away with his thumb. "You got scared, huh?""I will deny it if anyone ever asks, but yeah," Tony agreed, getting to his feet and bending down to hug Rhodey, holding him close for the first time since Germany."Just sit with me for a while," Rhodey requested and Tony smiled his assent.Rhodey led the way back to the living room, returning his wheelchair to what had become his spot: right beside Tony's recliner, not that his boyfriend had used it much lately. But this time, Tony took his seat and did as Rhodey asked. He just sat with him and held his hand, not turning on the TV or filling the silence, just offering him the unconditional support he needed.Almost half an hour passed in comfortable companionship before Tony gave him a sideways glance and said, "You said something about dinner before… So burritos or fettuccine?""You pick," Rhodey replied, too content to care much about what he had for dinner."If I pick, it'll be chop suey and chocolate cake," Tony muttered with a guilty laugh. "I mean, I can afford the calories at the moment. I'm living on coffee and Red Bull.""Fine. Chop suey and chocolate cake," Rhodey agreed, smiling when Tony leaned over to press a grateful and very sweet kiss to his lips.It had taken longer than it should have, but he finally felt seen and listened to. He had his Tony back, not the mad scientist who'd been haunting the workshop downstairs lately, and he just hoped that whatever happened, he got to keep him.

↑ Top · Fandoms