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i’ll be there soon. a simple text. to anyone else, it would seem like a usual text sent to give information about one’s whereabouts between two bandmates. to hongjoong, though, it means end. destruction. despair. salvation. burn. the biggest fire he knows is on his way to him, and there’s nothing hongjoong can do than sit in his studio and wait for him. he knows people tend to think he always has the upper hand; he’s the leader after all. the captain. while it’s true that he does indeed have power over other people, he doesn’t have any power over or against seonghwa. he surrendered to him years ago —how long has it been now? it feels like he’s known seonghwa since the day he learnt what pain was. between them, seonghwa gets what he wants. what hongjoong wants is what seonghwa wants anyways, so he always gives and provides. this is almost a ritual now. hongjoong works until the morning, always seeing the am on his digital clock before he leaves the studio so that when he arrives at the dorms and he walks into their shared room to sleep, he doesn’t have to talk to seonghwa and listen to his agonising words which he utters so sweetly and softly. seonghwa is greedy, though he’s very good at hiding it, so whenever he can’t stay awake to meet hongjoong when he comes back to torture him somehow, he comes to the studio in the middle of the night, whenever he’s finished with what has been keeping him busy the whole day. hongjoong doesn’t really know what to do with seonghwa. seonghwa is nothing. seonghwa is everything. seonghwa is always too much. too beautiful. too persistent. too stubborn. too soft. too greedy. too kind. too lovable. too shy. too tormenting. hongjoong is only a man who tries to survive each of his days, doing the best he can to take his team higher, make his music better, try his best harder and harder. on some days he barely survives. seonghwa is entirely different, sometimes hongjoong wonders whether he’s an actual human being or the embodiment of his dreams and nightmares. seonghwa is everything he wants. seonghwa is everything he can’t have. in this world, in this century, hongjoong can’t have seonghwa in the way he wants. he can’t have him at all. seonghwa is brave, sometimes he takes from hongjoong —just like he will very soon. hongjoong isn’t as brave as him, maybe he has no courage in his heart. there are so many people who depend on hongjoong and how much success he’ll achieve and bring, so he can’t risk what he has already earned —somehow. he doesn’t know how he has been able to attract this many achievements either, and how he has been able to attract seonghwa to himself. there’s attraction between them. of course there is. he would kiss every inch of seonghwa’s body if he could. he listens to his recorded voice over and over again when no one’s around. he has a folder special for seonghwa on his phone. he buries his face to seonghwa’s pillow on some mornings, when seonghwa has tormented him incredibly, just to satisfy his hunger. somehow, after seonghwa kissed him silly one night years ago, he realised that seonghwa is attracted to him too. such a shame. a creature such as seonghwa, who could have anyone he wanted, wants hongjoong out of all people. hongjoong knows seonghwa wants him. it’s not like seonghwa tries to hide it anyways. he doesn’t shy away from showing it in front of the cameras or when nobody’s there to see it. god knows how many times hongjoong almost had heart attacks when he opened the door to their room, only to find seonghwa touching himself on his bed with one of hongjoong’s oversized t-shirts dripping over his body. the door is unlocked with a click because seonghwa has a key too. maddox has one, why can’t i? he’s our producer, seonghwa. i don’t care, i deserve to have one too. hongjoong’s eyes leave the computer screen —he doesn’t even remember what he has been working on, seonghwa is always a distraction. he walks in with grace, his steps hitting the ground softly. he doesn’t acknowledge hongjoong until he locks the door again. ‘’the weather is getting colder,’’ he says, hongjoong adores the way his lips always find a way to form a pout whenever he speaks. ‘’i’m freezing.’’ hongjoong believes him. his dark brown hair is a little bit messily spread over his cheeks, his messy looks perfect to hongjoong. he’s been letting his hair grow longer and longer. want you to pull it, hongjoong, make me take it. the tip of his nose and his cheeks are pinkish red, and his nose scrunches in the most endearing way when he sniffs. hongjoong realises how he’s wrapped himself in thick clothes, his coat almost too big for him. is he wearing a beanie with cat ears? hongjoong wants to fucking ruin him sometimes. i can torture you too, i can also make breathing impossible for you when i’m around too, i can have you wrapped around my finger too, but i don’t. because i care about your fucking sanity. because before we were anything, we were friends and i wouldn’t try to hurt my friend with my very own being. cruel, he is so impossibly cruel. ‘’i’ll turn the ac on,’’ he replies. ‘’or you could warm me up in different ways.’’ ‘’at least bother to ask me how i am sometimes, seonghwa.’’ seonghwa frowns at his words while taking off his beanie and coat. he has baggy jeans and a wool sweater underneath. ‘’it’s not like you tell me the truth.’’ ‘’did you come here in this cold to pick a fight with me?’’ ‘’you’re the one attacking me first,’’ he steps closer, hongjoong wants to run away. ‘’did something happen? why are you so tense?’’ ‘’nothing happened, i’m fine.’’ ‘’thank you for proving my point,’’ he says cheekily. hongjoong wants to kiss him so badly, stealing all the air in his lungs. ‘’you’re insufferable.’’ nonchalant to hongjoong’s pain and all giggly, seonghwa sits on hongjoong’s lap with all his weight, straddling on his body, trusting in hongjoong’s chair way too much. but hongjoong loves this part. all of seonghwa, all over him. his warmth, the proof of his existence is right between hongjoong’s arms. what more could a man want? ‘’just admit that you’ve missed me,’’ seonghwa says, his cold fingertips landing on hongjoong’s cheek and making him shiver. hongjoong grabs his hand and leaves kisses on the pads of his middle and index fingers. ‘’and maybe i’ll show you some mercy.’’ ‘’i’m fine just like this, thanks.’’ ‘’are you?’’ seonghwa tilts his head. ‘’you have no idea, hongjoong…’’ hongjoong looks at him with an eyebrow raised. ‘’about what?’’ ‘’all the things i want to do to you. all the things i want you to do to me.’’ ‘’i’m pretty sure i’ve got some ideas.’’ ‘’what you know isn’t even the half of it.’’ ‘’i feel like you’re in the mood to show me more, hm?’’ ‘’i am. but i just need you to admit that you’ve missed me today first.’’ ‘’oh, it’s not happening, sweetheart,’’ hongjoong teases. he’s playing with fire. he has missed seonghwa, of course he has, he misses seonghwa even when they lie next to each other at the darkest time of the night. the only thing he desires in the entire world is seonghwa, so how can he not? ‘’why do you make it so hard for both you and me?’’ ‘’because you like it just like this, don’t you? i know you do, i know deep inside you like me being a challenge.’’ ‘’you have me all figured out, captain?’’ ‘’told you to not turn the title into something sexually charged.’’ ‘’and i told you i wouldn’t listen.’’ ‘’maybe someone needs to teach you how to listen, seonghwa.’’ ‘’will you take responsibility, then, captain?’’ god, hongjoong wants to bite him until his teeth leave a mark behind on his soft skin. ‘’will you be strict with me?’’ seonghwa nuzzles his neck like a kitten. that fucking beanie has given hongjoong so many new ideas. ‘’i want to learn everything you have to teach, hongjoong. show me how to be good for you.’’ the truth is that he already is good for hongjoong and they both know it. beneath this façade lies the real seonghwa who is always so pliant for hongjoong and melts until he forgets how to form a single coherent sentence when hongjoong is deep inside him. this, however, is fun; how they have fun, at least. this push and pull, still feeling that electricity when their hands touch, the mouth-watering taste of the forbidden and impossible. hongjoong knows seonghwa likes it when love hurts. perhaps he does a little bit too. perhaps that’s why he hasn’t wanted anyone else since he learned seonghwa’s name. they’re more alike than he assumes. ‘’i think,’’ hongjoong starts. ‘’the best way to learn to listen is to learn how to stay silent first, don’t you agree?’’ ‘’oh, i love where this is going,’’ seonghwa says and hongjoong almost breaks his character. ‘’let’s start simple,’’ he says when he swallows the need to laugh at seonghwa’s cuteness despite the mood they’re in. ‘’open your mouth.’’ seonghwa —fuck. seonghwa immediately listens. no questions or protests whatsoever, he opens his mouth and rolls his tongue out. that fucking tongue, one of hongjoong’s biggest enemies. hongjoong presses two of his fingers on his tongue. it’s warm and wet, but hongjoong is dying to discover how it tastes too. seonghwa doesn’t move, just lets hongjoong rest his fingers there for a moment. he’s looking at hongjoong with his big eyes, round, and shiny as if he stole the stars in the night sky on his way to hongjoong’s studio. so bright. hongjoong wants to make them even brighter with tears. he pushes his fingers a little more, just to see what seonghwa will do. he takes it, eyes always on hongjoong but this time his look turns into something competitive —asking, is that all you can do? he has no idea how much hongjoong has to fight against his urge to ruin him every single day. his fingers traveling more and more deeper, hongjoong feels his fingertips brush against seonghwa’s throat. his digits are all wet now, seonghwa’s hot and not-so-steady anymore breath fanning over them. hongjoong retrieves his fingers back and watches how seonghwa’s saliva connects to his skin like spider web. seonghwa’s eyes seem to have lost their focus until he blinks once, twice, and his look lands right on hongjoong’s lips. hongjoong won’t kiss him. not today. he chuckles at seonghwa. “two fingers are enough to shut you up?” “you know i always need more.” ‘’i do, i know how insatiable you are.’’ ‘’only for you,’’ seonghwa says as if sharing a secret with him. ‘’and because you always spoil me rotten. i know i can just simply be and want and you’ll give it to me.’’ sometimes hongjoong finds himself hating how honest he is. how speaking of such things comes easily to seonghwa, hongjoong will never understand. how he doesn’t carry any fear? or is he only good at hiding it? most of the time hongjoong finds himself hating how he can never speak his mind easily; to anyone else, he can say whatever he thinks, even if his words are harsh or rude, however talking to seonghwa is almost always impossible. maybe it’s because none of the words which crave to leave his lips and be heard are filled with harshness or rudeness, maybe it’s because when he sees seonghwa, he wants to confess every single feeling he has been growing just for him. ‘’what do you want?’’ he asks. ‘’what do you want right now?’’ ‘’you, hongjoong. anything you’ll give me. i’ve never wanted anyone or anything else.’’ ‘’anything might be a little risky, don’t you think?’’ ‘’you’ve given me worse than anything, and i’ve taken it so well, no?’’ he has, he always does and hongjoong can’t deny it. ‘’get on the couch,’’ hongjoong orders. seonghwa moves then, smoothly and quickly like a river, flowing down on hongjoong’s body and stopping when he’s on his knees, on the floor of hongjoong’s studio, looking up at hongjoong. ‘’want to stay here, can i?’’ he asks as if he actually needed permission. ‘’want you to use me like this.’’ it is impossible to maintain his sanity around seonghwa, something he learned years and years ago. that’s why doesn’t —can’t look at him sometimes. as though he has his own special techniques to torment hongjoong, everything he does somehow effects hongjoong in the worst ways possible. the way he dances, the way he makes those little sounds while he’s having fun, the way his neck becomes red whenever he’s drunk… a punishment and a reward sent for hongjoong and hongjoong only. he almost stops breathing when he feels seonghwa’s cheek pressed to his inner thigh. hongjoong is in comfortable jeans made of thin material, so despite the fabric, he can still feel seonghwa’s warm and heavy existence right between his legs. this time, for some reason, he doesn’t want to run away; what’s about to come is already intoxicating. he doesn’t make any comments on seonghwa’s need to be kneeling before him even though he can think of thousands of mocking words and revenge is too appealing. but no. seonghwa thrives on compliments, that’s his first reason. and despite the fact that he’s never knelt in front of seonghwa like this, they both know that seonghwa has the upper hand; he has all the power because hongjoong gave it to him a long time ago, willingly handed his leash to seonghwa, trusting him, a silent acceptance of defeat and surrender. ‘’you can stay just like that,’’ he says. ‘’but it will only mean that i’ll be the one taking tonight.’’ seonghwa nods eagerly, the friction between his legs going directly to hongjoong’s crotch. hongjoong likes his enthusiasm, and he will make sure to make use of it. ‘’want to make me feel good?’’ seonghwa nods again and soon enough, his fingers are travelling up to hongjoong’s zipper. ‘’want to feel it on my tongue.’’ seonghwa says, it sounds like he’s talking to himself rather than hongjoong. ‘’then deep in my throat.’’ these are words hongjoong really likes. as he pulls the zipper down with a bit of impatience, hongjoong feels his body reacting and his bulge becoming more and more obvious. seonghwa impatiently tugs at his jeans, hongjoong doesn’t move to make it easier for him just to watch seonghwa struggle and how an expression of dissatisfaction forms on his face. he looks up at hongjoong with a frown and pouty lips and just when he’s about to break his pout to protest, hongjoong presses his thumb on his lower lip and caresses it slowly, feeling how plump and soft it is on the pad of his finger, and how a little chapped it is too, probably due to the cold weather. ‘’it’s unfair how pretty you are, you know that, right?’’ the words escape from his lips before hongjoong can even realise what he’s about to say. his words seem to soften seonghwa, his frown immediately disappearing. there’s a new glint in his eyes. of course he knows how pretty he is, that smug little smirk he’s trying to hide so unsuccessfully —because hongjoong would never miss anything about him, his attention always belongs to seonghwa— proves that he fucking knows it. hongjoong wants to touch him until he can’t come up with a coherent thought sometimes, wants to fuck him until cries with pleasure. he manages to press all the wrong buttons hongjoong has—somehow. anything he does is incredibly frustrating because hongjoong can’t have him, because when this bubble protecting them inside his studio pops, there will be no hongjoong and seonghwa anymore. because seonghwa is hongjoong’s proof of success as a leader and an artist but his proof of failure as a man. seonghwa, indifferent to the war he triggers inside hongjoong, nuzzles into hongjoong’s lap, his cheek pressed on his crotch like a kitten asking for attention and pets, on his own terms —hongjoong will burn that goddamn beanie to ashes. then hongjoong feels a wetness right on his bulge. fuck. he looks down at the view of seonghwa licking a long stripe on the outline of his still confined cock. he has to press his lips together to not let out a loud moan. he can’t show how much he needs him, seonghwa is arrogant enough as he is. seonghwa, though, seems to not care about it; while his tongue travels on hongjoong’s boxers again, he lets out the softest, the most content moan as if this is all he wants to do for the rest of his life, as if he doesn’t want to be anywhere else. hongjoong knows this is all play-pretend, most of seonghwa’s desire isn’t entirely because he wants hongjoong, but because hongjoong is convenient, a body he has wrapped around his finger who is willing to give him whatever he wants and whenever he wishes. there is a bit of lust —there must be— that seonghwa harbors for him, he assumes, but he doesn’t let himself be carried away. he can’t. one of his hands —he’s been grabbing the arm of his seat, he’s just realised— finds seonghwa’s hair —it feels like the most quality silk, hongjoong likes it— and he moves his fingers carefully to grab his hair. he pulls it to lift seonghwa’s head from his crotch. seonghwa looks at him, a little confused but his eyes already filled with lust, however a soft, hazy sparkle shines in there too. god, fingers in his hair and a cock soon to be in his mouth, and he’s gone. hongjoong likes it more than he’s willing to admit. ‘’please,’’ seonghwa says. hongjoong tries not to believe the neediness in his voice, however the way it almost cracks as he says, ‘’please, hongjoong,’’ is about to delude him. ‘’i want you in my mouth, please, want to taste you —need to taste you.’’ maybe seonghwa is a skilled manipulator, or because hongjoong is always so pliantly easy for him to crack, hongjoong lifts his hips a little and before he can even reach to pull his trousers and underwear down, seonghwa hurries to the task. finally, his cock is set free and his clothes are a mess around his ankles, it feels a bit awkward but seonghwa doesn’t look like he cares —so why should hongjoong? before seonghwa can get his hands on his body, hongjoong holds his hair tighter to stop him from moving and watches how seonghwa’s eyes roll back a little as hongjoong’s grip gets stronger. he’s driving hongjoong crazy. ‘’open your mouth,’’ hongjoong says while holding the base of his cock with his free hand. seonghwa, understanding what hongjoong wants, opens his mouth and rolls his tongue out, and he looks like he’s just walked out of hongjoong’s wettest dreams; he’s everything hongjoong craves. hongjoong pulls his head closer to his cock then, and places his tip right on seonghwa’s tongue, his lips almost buck with the sensation. just half an hour ago, he was fully focused on the new song he’s been working on with no traces of inappropriate thoughts in his mind; however, right now, all he can think about is shoving his dick right into seonghwa’s mouth and watching him choke on it. ‘’don’t be greedy,’’ he warns when seonghwa moves his tongue just a little. ‘’let me enjoy the show, you love being under the spotlight, don’t you? want to have attention on you.’’ seonghwa blinks at his words, almost nodding, hongjoong can see that he wants to say something but he doesn’t want to be disobedient to his demands either. he replaces his cock then, pressing it on seonghwa’s upper lip that he adores, how plump it is, how it helps soften seonghwa’s entire face, how it has this perfectly slight plumpness right in the middle, and watches his precum coating his pink plushness. ‘’i’ll give you all the attention you need… look at you… so fucking beautiful,’’ he can’t stop praising him, it comes so easily and naturally for hongjoong to come up with compliments for seonghwa; even though sometimes all the things he wants to say but can’t let out cut his throat and bleed themselves out to be heard, even though sometimes it hurts to have a lot of thoughts full of seonghwa. he can see how seonghwa basks in his words, that blissful and content glint in his eyes like a star stuck in the night sky, as he slowly pushes his cock into seonghwa’s mouth while pushing his head down on his length just a little bit. he lets out a moan, how can’t he? the hotness and the wetness seonghwa offers feels so fucking good. hongjoong didn’t realise how much he needed some relief, he can sense his tense shoulder muscles slowly dissolving as seonghwa swallows more and more of his cock. they’ve done this plenty of times before. he knows how seonghwa likes receiving it; he likes it when hongjoong takes him into his mouth slowly, he gets all squirmy when hongjoong sucks his tip, and he lets out the filthies moans when hongjoong pushes two fingers into his hole, but when he finally is stuffed with three, he starts thrusting into hongjoong’s mouth to chase his relief. the way he likes giving it, though, it mostly different; he sucks hongjoong’s cock feverishly as if he doesn’t hurry up, hongjoong will run away, and he takes all of hongjoong’s cock into his mouth without any warning, hectic, and until his nose is buried in hongjoong’s pubes if he hasn’t had the time to shave and sometimes likes to comment on how he likes the way his hair feels on his face, which hongjoong has always found a little interesting to say the least, and he likes stroking hongjoong’s length while sucking his balls and moving his tongue on them, and the most important thing is that he likes giving handing control over to hongjoong, likes having his hair pulled or when hongjoong presses his head down on his cock, says the weight of it helps him feel… what was it? concrete. don’t you mean, maybe, grounded? no, hongjoong, i said concrete. seonghwa lets out a ‘’mmm,’’ when he has half of hongjoong’s length in his mouth, and hongjoong’s chest is already rising with his almost irregular breaths. his beautifully round brown eyes are still on hongjoong’s face, they don’t possess anything hostile or challenging in them anymore, there’s only submission and satisfaction left. hongjoong feels the weight of his palms, still a bit cold, on both of his thighs, sending delicious electricity kind of sensation straight to hongjoong’s cock which is by now fully hard and leaking slowly. he holds his head there to give seonghwa some time get used to the feeling, and to himself as well because seonghwa’s tongue brushing to his cock feels so good already. fuck, hongjoong just loves watching his pretty lips wrapped around his girth and the shape his mouth takes. on another day, he could tease seonghwa more, but tonight, contrary to what he thought earlier, he doesn’t want to tease seonghwa any further, because even though he would never admit it, he needs seonghwa too, and he needs relief, so this is the perfect opportunity to take both selfishly. he pushes him down on his cock completely until he feels his tip bump into the back of his throat and his cock entirely trapped in his mouth. seonghwa’s tongue moves on the skin of his cock with vicious intent, this time making hongjoong’s hips buck and he swallows more of it greedily as hongjoong involuntarily shoves more of his cock between his lips. hongjoong keeps his head pressed on his crotch for one, two, three, four seconds before pulling his hair again to separate his mouth from his cock and provide seonghwa with some time to breathe. ‘’i want more,’’ he says, panting a little. ‘’more, please, hongjoong—’’ ‘’have your fun then,’’ hongjoong says, eyes locked on his delightfully inviting lips shining with his own spit and hongjoong’s precum. ‘’prove how much you want it and how good you can be for me.’’ nodding eagerly and dutifully, seonghwa gets to work upon his words, this time starting with pressing a kiss on hongjoong’s inner thigh. ‘’i’ll show you,’’ he promises. ‘’i’m just so, so good, only for you, hongjoong,’’ he leaves kisses on hongjoong’s skin, scattered randomly, until he bites into his flesh without a single warning. it doesn’t hurt, only makes hongjoong hiss with pain, pleasure and surprise at the same time, resulting in him squirming on his seat. ‘’i’m the best for you, you’ll see.’’ it sounds like a long-term promise, so hongjoong chooses to ignore it. he doesn’t mean it like that. it’s only about us having sex, he says it only to get me going. don’t fall for it. his fingers wrap around hongjoong’s shaft when he finally stops tormenting hongjoong’s legs, and while stroking his cock, his mouth lands on hongjoong’s balls, leaving long stripes of saliva on them, the wicked noises coming from his mouth cause hongjoong to feel like is committing the most unforgivable sin yet he can’t help but think that this must be what they call heaven on earth is. seonghwa’s tongue climbs up after a short while, licking hongjoong’s cock from its base to the tip, and a loud, sinister moan leaves hongjoong’s lips. the thing about seonghwa is that his main source of pleasure is knowing and seeing that he is pleasing the other party, which, in most cases, hongjoong is lucky to be — like the good boy he is, his brain completes his thought. hongjoong shuts his eyes for a moment. he definitely didn’t need that reminder. he tries to ignore it but now the only thought his brain can produce is my good boy, only good for me, mine, mine, mine, no one else’s, my good boy only. it becomes impossible when seonghwa leaves a kiss on the tip of his cock before taking it into his mouth and burying it in his throat. seonghwa takes him, handles him so well that sometimes hongjoong is almost convinced that seonghwa is made for him. but he is, hongjoong isn’t sure whether this is brain or heart speaking, he is made for me, only me, not for anyone else in the entire world, my friend, my star, my seonghwa. that’s why it feels so good, he is mine. having opened his eyes to not miss a single moment, hongjoong watches seonghwa working skillfully on his cock. the view and the sensation are about to drive him crazy. inside his mouth is perfectly warm and perfectly wet, and the way his tongue brushes hongjoong’s skin feels like he’ll explode into pieces any moment. seonghwa comes up to take a breath, hongjoong can see his clothed chest rising up to fill his lungs with air, and when he recovers, he spits on hongjoong’s cock. hongjoong is sure the last crumb of sanity left in his body has just evaporated. his plump lips become even wetter and pinker, they shine flawlessly like newly washed cherries. he then proceeds to use his palm to spread his spit all over hongjoong’s cock and all hongjoong can do is pant for air and moan his name. ‘’so fucking good,’’ he hears himself saying but it somehow feels like this is a stranger’s voice —so needful, so desperate. is he really this desperate for seonghwa? is this how he sounds all the time to his members’ and seonghwa’s ears? ‘’you’re so fucking good, seonghwa.’’ seonghwa gifts him a wicked little smile before talking. ‘’the best, only for you, hongjoong.’’ and when he says those words in a tone dangerously similar to hongjoong’s, how is hongjoong supposed to convince himself that he’s lying? so unfair, so cruel, so seonghwa. and so mine. he dives in again, and hongjoong, reduced to an irregularly breathing, constantly moaning mess, watches seonghwa in awe. both of his hand resting on hongjoong’s legs, seonghwa’s head starts moving up, down, up, down… up and down on hongjoong’s cock. he covers it with a mixture of his saliva and hongjoong’s precum, the mess leaking down to hongjoong’s crotch too; he finds himself enjoying how dirty all of this is turning to. with the way he bobs his head on hongjoong’s cock so fast, seonghwa’s hair starts getting in his way, so hongjoong lifts a hand and gently combs it back, collecting his strands between his fingers and keeping them there. seonghwa’s moves fasten before he stops at his tip and sucks it firmly. ‘’oh, fuck,’’ hongjoong groans. ‘’seonghwa, fuck.’’ encouraged, seonghwa goes down on his cock and takes it all of it in, hongjoong can feel the tip of his nose on his shaved skin. ‘’eyes up,’’ he orders, to which seonghwa immediately listens. ‘’so good,’’ he rewards him with praise. ‘’you’re so good for me, seonghwa. i like it, do you like it too?’’ he nods, mouth full of cock. ‘’yeah? you like being good for me? only for me?’’ he nods again. hongjoong wants to either kiss him tenderly or… ruin him entirely. then, hongjoong uses his hand in his hair to detach seonghwa from his cock and seonghwa whines at the lack of contact. ‘’don’t whine as if you don’t like me pulling your hair,’’ hongjoong says. ‘’use me,’’ is seonghwa’s reply, completely ignoring hongjoong’s words. there’s a brand new sparkle in his darkened eyes, feverish. he looks so out of it that hongjoong almost pities him. ‘’use me to feel good, hongjoong, please. please.’’ hongjoong would never deny such a generous request, but still, he asks, ‘’are you sure?’’ a breathless, needy, cracked ‘’please,’’ is all he gets as an answer. without further ado, hongjoong shoves his head down on his cock, making himself moan loudly, and a surprised yelp can be hard from seonghwa but it comes out muffled. hongjoong starts to chase after his own relief selfishly —he does feel guilty a little, but he told seonghwa he would only take and he accepted it. with the help of his fingers locked into seonghwa’s perfectly soft hair, he moves his head on his cock, seonghwa’s drool is all over hongjoong’s cock and his own chin. he’s so painfully beautiful, hongjoong wants to lick that drool off of his skin; would be the perfect way to taste seonghwa. he pushes his head down with a bit more strength, his cock once again buried in seonghwa’s throat, and they both groan at the sensation, hongjoong’s voice sounding hoarse. a satisfied moan escapes from seonghwa, the vibration of it stimulates hongjoong’s cock even further. he knows he’s getting closer and closer, and the way seonghwa looks absolutely wrecked with a cock deep in his mouth and tears shining on his eyes, hongjoong thinks he’s managed to hold himself back successfully. ‘’want me to cum inside your mouth?’’ he asks. ‘’hmm,’’ seonghwa mumbles and hongjoong almost growls at how it provokes his pleasure more and more. ‘’you’ve been so good,’’ he praises while pulling seonghwa up. ‘’i’ll reward you, you’re so sweet and good, seonghwa.’’ working his tongue around hongjoong’s tip, especially pressing it right on his opening, seonghwa blinks at him, and hongjoong isn’t sure whether seonghwa understands his words anymore. he looks both ruined and blissful at the same time, right where hongjoong wants him to be, where he knows seonghwa loves being. ‘’so beautiful,’’ hongjoong presses his cock in, making it create a bulge inside seonghwa’s cheek. he caresses his stretched skin. ‘’you’re always so mesmerizingly beautiful, but there’s something seeing your lips stretched around my cock does to me,’’ hongjoong keeps talking, encouraged and comforted by the thought that seonghwa isn’t really conscious of what leaves his mouth. he’s almost there now. he needs just a bit more, but he’s so, so close, his abdomen tightening with that sweet need. he can’t properly fuck into seonghwa’s mouth while sitting like this, so he keeps moving seonghwa’s head on his cock, he can’t help but guide him move faster and faster. ‘’pinch when it’s bad,’’ he says, keeping it simple to help seonghwa take in his words more easily. ‘’do you understand?’’ ‘’mmm,’’ seonghwa utters and now that hongjoong has assurance, he doesn’t hold back. seonghwa is pliant under his touch, letting hongjoong guide him like he’s a marionette, can keep up with the speed hongjoong needs expertly. he has practice under his belt after all, he knows hongjoong. the pleasure is becoming almost too much, swallowing hongjoong gradually fast. hongjoong feels like he’s on fire and soon there’ll be nothing left of him. seonghwa will demolish his entire existence like a greedy and unstoppable wildfire. but if hongjoong burns, seonghwa has to burn too. that’s why he pushes his head more and more, not in a hostile way to hurt him —he would never— but because he knows seonghwa likes it too —the weight and the girth of hongjoong’s cock stuffing his mouth, and because he knows seonghwa gets off on it. seonghwa lets out the softest moans, each of them reaching to hongjoong and adding to his pleasure. he’s there, he’s almost there. ‘’i’m almost there,’’ he informs seonghwa too. ‘’fuck, oh fuck, so close.’’ he makes seonghwa move his head up and down on his cock slowly one last time, looking carefully at how his lips are stretched by his cock, how his own drool is all over his chin and nose, how unfocused his eyes are, and soon, his vision almost going pitch black, hongjoong lets himself go. ‘’fuck,’’ is all he can verbalize while his cock erupts, splashing inside seonghwa’s hot mouth. for a moment he fears that he won’t stop cumming ever, and when he finally stops, he can’t say a single word for a little while, his lungs desperately searching for air. his eyes land on seonghwa as his chest is still heaving. seonghwa’s lips are still wrapped around his cock and hongjoong is hit by the realisation of how much he has sweated in his clothes and how sensitive his cock is. he lets seonghwa give it one last suck before he detaches his lips from his cock with a pop. hongjoong knows he does it on purpose. such a little tease. he opens his mouth wide, jaw slack, tongue rolling out, and shows hongjoong all the cum he’s gathered on his tongue. ‘’want to spit it out?’’ hongjoong manages to ask. seonghwa frowns at his words and closing his mouth, he swallows the cum —hongjoong’s cum, to be precise. hongjoong can hear the gulp and is hypnotised by the way his throat and neck moves. he wants to kill hongjoong apparently. ‘’help,’’ seonghwa says, extending a hand towards hongjoong as if hongjoong is able to lift a finger. but seonghwa is the one who has been sitting on his knees, so he takes his hand to help him stand up. yet, contrary to what he thinks, seonghwa, instead of standing on his feet, climbs on his lap. ‘’hwa— seonghwa, my cock, shit, seonghwa—’’ hongjoong says in pain, towards which seonghwa seems apathetic. his clothed ass is on hongjoong’s spent cock but if he keeps staying there, hongjoong’s afraid his cock will grow interest again. he puts all of his weight on hongjoong and he can’t do anything else but pray that his chair is strong enough. seonghwa’s limbs dangle from the chair, and he lies there comfortably for a little while. hongjoong listens how his breathing calms down and becomes more regular in a satisfied silence. ‘’did you like it?’’ he hears seonghwa ask in a whisper. ‘’you know how much i came.’’ ‘’yes, but still…’’ ‘’i liked it, seonghwa,’’ hongjoong says then. ‘’thank you, and i’m sorry,’’ he can feel seonghwa’s erection pressed on his body. ‘’do you want me to help with it?’’ ‘’not here,’’ he says softly. ‘’i’m getting sleepy. can we— can you—’’ does he… does he sound shy all of a sudden? ‘’hongjoong,’’ he says, almost like a purr. ‘’yes, seonghwa?’’ ‘’come with me,’’ seonghwa says? demands? asks? hongjoong isn’t sure. ‘’don’t spend the night here. spend it… with me. i know this studio is your shelter but don’t shelter from me.’’ ‘’hmm,’’ hongjoong murmurs and thinks about his offer for a moment. he can’t be faking it. this can’t be unreal. he speaks so gently, his warm breath hitting hongjoong’s neck. hongjoong wants to believe it so badly. ‘’on one condition.’’ ‘’what’s that?’’ ‘’you’ll let me eat you out and make you cum before you sleep.’’ ‘’i thought that part was obvious.’’ hongjoong chuckles softly at his words. ‘’give me five minutes to recover, then we’ll go.’’ ‘’together?’’ ‘’yes, seonghwa, together.’’ it takes them more than fifteen minutes to collect themselves, seonghwa spending more than half of it in the bathroom to look presentable and hongjoong gets dressed and fixes his clothes and hair too. while hongjoong is turning off the lights, ‘’you’ll like walking in the cold air,’’ seonghwa says. ‘’it’s so refreshing. we made so many snow ducks today.’’ ‘’want to make some together too?’’ hongjoong asks while they are walking in the hallway. ‘’can we?’’ hongjoong smiles when he hears the excitement in seonghwa’s voice. ‘’why not?’’ hongjoong tries to not let his courage run away from him. ‘’it’s good to enjoy snow while it stays.’’ ‘’it is,’’ seonghwa agrees. when they finally reach to the exit of the building, hongjoong reaches out and takes seonghwa’s hand into his. he doesn’t turn his head, but he knows seonghwa looks at him in surprise for a second. hongjoong doesn’t say anything but opens the door with his free hand. seonghwa was right, the cold weather that hits his face and surrounds his body is quite refreshing, but with seonghwa’s hand in his, hongjoong is irreversibly warm.