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Leo was outvoted. Raph was their leader again.The silence around the dinner table felt suffocating, like none of them knew what to say to break the hush, yet they were all aware of the tension left behind and how it would all explode in their faces if they so much as squeaked the wrong way.Mikey chewed on the spaghetti bolognese in his plate while trying not to look as agitated as he felt. He wasn’t sure it was working, but he was also pretty certain no one cared enough to check to see how the youngest was doing, so… small mercies, right?Donnie had an unreadable, blank look on his face as he focused on his food and nothing else—except for the occasional tap on the screen of his wrist tech. Raph slurped his pasta loudly, cringing again and again at the noise and casting looks around, as if to make sure it wasn’t bothering anyone, although his eyes kept on skipping over the brother sitting opposite him.And Leo… Leo was playing with his food rather than eating it. He kept on rolling the meatball in his plate from side to side, as if that would make everyone assume he was actually putting it in his mouth and consuming it in any way. The spaghetti was getting colder by the minute, but he just kept on creating disfigured shapes with it instead of swirling it around his fork and shoving it in his mouth.Mikey wanted to say something, to get rid of this suffocating silence that followed their vote, but he wasn’t sure what to say or how or what it would get out of his brothers considering how tense they all were right now, pretending like they weren’t listening to the ticking bomb that was resting in the middle of the table, waiting for them to mess up and poke it with a stick until it went boom!Were they wrong to so bluntly vote for Raph to become the leader of the Mad Dogs again? It’s just… it’s been months since Dad told them that Leo would be their new leader, and while at first they were unsure about this new dynamic, it took them only a couple of missions with Leo as their leader to know that this was nothing short of a disaster.Mikey’s ears would forever ring from the sound of Raph’s loud shouts aimed to cut through Leo’s never-ending nonchalance.It was almost admirable, the way Leo seemed to let Raph’s words slide right off his shell, as if they were nothing more than oil. The way he smirked at their older brother, listening to what he had to say before doing the complete opposite, ignoring Raph’s criticism and advice and frustration in favor of just… just messing around.It was all just too much for them to handle, okay? They wanted to put an end to this catastrophe waiting to happen by returning the dynamic of the team back to normal, to its original state.Too bad it earned them a tight-lipped look from Leo and a suffocating silence that enveloped them like a bear hug—claws and all.But Leo must have seen it coming, right? He could let words slide off him like oil, true, but oil burned. And they’ve been holding off on lighting the match that would start the blazing fire for too long.Mikey opened his mouth to speak—he didn’t think it even mattered what he would say at this point, they needed something to be put out there just so that they wouldn’t stay in this chilling moment forever—only for Leo to look up at them all with a wide grin plastered onto his face.“Well, this was fun, but I have a new comic book to read,” he said in a loud, boisterous voice that seemed to startle all of them. “Everything was really delicious, Mikey, top notch. One day there would be poems written about your culinary skills, I’m sure. For now, I bid you all farewell. Hasta luego, hermanos.”He was gone before any of them could speak up—even just to comment on his half-full plate.Looking around at Mikey and Donnie, Raph said, “We did the right thing.” He hesitated for a second, then added, “Right?”Donnie sent Leo’s plate a critical look, as if the evidence left behind was hinting otherwise, yet he didn’t say anything out loud, instead just turning back to his food as if nothing’s changed.Mikey played with his fingers in his lap. “I think so…?”He sent a look toward the middle of the table, still hearing the ticking time-bomb that was counting down to disaster, because this wasn’t it. It couldn’t have been.So the rest of the meal remained as stifling as it was before Leo got up and left, the only sound being the tick, tick, tick Mikey tried desperately to ignore. “D’you wanna talk about it?” Mikey said hesitantly as he stationed himself at the entrance of Leo’s room.His brother raised his head to look at him, not lowering the comic book he was holding at all, as if signaling that he wasn’t done reading it and even though he was paying Mikey attention, he wasn’t going to actually stop what he was doing for him. It would just be a second or two, and then he’d go right back to his more interesting entertainment.Lips tugging up in an easy smile, Leo said, “Nothing to talk about, Miguel. Unless you wanna hear about this new issue. It’s fantastic, actually—ha ha—you’re gonna love the humor in it, I swear. Jupiter Jim travelled to this new planet filled with monkeys and they all copy him until—”“I’m sorry if we upset you before,” Mikey cut in, although he very much did want to hear more about the new issue. Or, better yet, read it himself. “We didn’t mean to. It’s just… you’ve been kind of ignoring everything we’ve been trying to tell you the last few months so you kind of left us no other choice, and—”Leo shook his head and went back to looking at his comic book. “M’kay. It’s fine, don’t sweat it, little brother.”Mikey frowned. “You’re ‘fine’?”“Yeah. Splendid, great, all right, estoy bien—”“You can’t just be fine with it. I don’t believe you.”Leo sent him a look over his comic book. “Hey, now, I can’t help your beliefs, Mike, you know that.”“But—”“Now, if you wanna read the comic, you’re welcome to stay. If not, can you please go bug Donnie or Raph instead? I really want to finish this before I go to sleep.”He sounded nothing less than polite. Everything about him—his intonation, his posture, his expression—was perfectly composed to let Mikey know he was being sincere and calm and apparently not offended in the least.But this was Leo.Leo, who started lying to all of them since they were little turtle tots, still learning the way of the world. Leo, who could convince a seeing man that he needed a seeing-eye dog. Leo, who could sell a bottle of shampoo to a bald guy without missing a beat. Leo, who could trick even Big Mama herself, according to what their pop said a couple of days after he made Leo their new leader.Lying was like breathing to him. He didn’t even need to put much effort into it—it was like a reflex. Leo lied with such ease, it got really hard to tell his truths from the lies at a very early age, which meant that none of them could take his words at face value—there was always a grain of salt added to his statements, just in case.So sorry, but Mikey wasn’t convince. He couldn’t see how what’d happened wasn’t offending or hurting Leo in any way. It just made no sense.Still, he could see that Leo wasn’t ready to talk about it, so he mumbled something dismissive and walked away.For now, at least. He kept on pestering Leo about it—every day for over two weeks. Mikey waited until after dinner, then made his way toward Leo’s room, stood in the entrance and asked Leo if he wanted to talk about the vote and Raph being the leader.The answer was ‘no’ every single time, Leo’s calm and collected front slowly cracking as he started giving Mikey disgruntled looks and saying the word in a snappier tone than usual, opting to glare at Mikey when he didn’t immediately leave him, instead lingering behind to see if maybe… maybe Leo would change his mind at the last second.Donnie holed himself in his lab, acting as if nothing’s changed even though Mikey could see him from the corner of his eye, giving Leo wary looks, as if wondering between himself what’s changed with his twin and why he wasn’t making a whole thing out of the three of them picking Raph as their leader instead of him.Raph tried to act like nothing was amiss, but they could all clearly tell that he was going easy on Leo, as if too scared to press him too much this early on. Because even though his words in the past had slipped off Leo’s shell like oil, and even though it all burned brighter than a supernova as they raised their hands to vote Leo out, Raph probably figured something would touch Leo and slip through the cracks in the walls around him eventually.None of them wanted to be the one to make Leo erupt, so they were tiptoeing around him, cautious and wary and light on their feet, as if anything louder than a whisper would tip the scales to one side at long last.Dad was less than content with their decision, of course. He heard from Raph and Mikey about the vote and then frowned through their explanation as to why exactly they all felt like Leo was a terrible leader.He kept on jumping into situations without a second thought; he was brash; he was doing everything on his own, not telling the rest of the team what to do unless it was to make them stand back and just watch him at work; he barely ever trained them, and when he did do anything of the sort, he just tended to make a joke out of it.They had their reasons to vote against him being the leader of the team, okay?“He’s just not the leader type, Pops,” said Raph apologetically, rubbing the back of his neck. “I guess he’s just not built for this kind of responsibility.”“That doesn’t sound like my Baby Blue, no,” argued Splinter as he rubbed his chin thoughtfully, looking over at the train cart that Leo had declared for himself.And the thing was, Mikey could see where their dad was coming from. He still remembered all those moments in the past, when Raph was incapable of taking matters into his own hands, instead leaving Donnie, Leo and Mikey without a big brother to guide and lead them in the right direction. And he remembered how each time, without any prompting, Leo would step up and naturally slip into the shoes left behind by Raph, keeping them focused and ordering them around to make sure everything went smoothly.It was almost startling, how serious Leo could get when he had all the pressure on his shoulders instead of Raph’s. It was like there was a switch in his brain that would flip the moment they were left without Raph, toning down Leo’s goofiness and laziness in favor of making place for the responsibility an older brother had to possess in order to make sure nothing went wrong and nobody got hurt.So Mikey could see why Splinter would be baffled by Leo’s poor leadership skills, because… how could he possibly be this bad at it when they had all been there at least a couple of times to experience the side of Leo that could handle being the one everyone looked up to for guidance and assistance instead of Raph.Where was this part of Leo now?Pop tried to talk to Leo once, pulling the blue-masked turtle to his room to try and figure out what went wrong. Mikey and Raph shamelessly crept closer, trying to maybe hear what the two were talking about. Donnie even slipped out of his lab, just as intrigued and curious as his other two brothers.They couldn’t hear a thing, but they all had front row seats to Leo bursting out of the room with his usual dramatic flair, grinning casually as if nothing was out of the ordinary. He didn’t even give the three of them a second look, probably since it wasn’t a surprise to see them lurking out there, waiting to see if they could figure out what their father and brother were talking about behind closed doors.Dad stepped out a few moments later, looking grim and just as baffled as he did before this conversation. Apparently he still had no idea what was going on with Leo, which meant this was a bust.When Mikey went to Leo’s room after dinner that evening, his brother’s door was locked, silently telling him Do not come in, you’re not welcome. The one to finally make Leo burst, erupt and raise his voice in the end was Mikey. Which he should have seen coming, but he was just desperate to try and get something out of Leo—anything he could work with, really, because his brother acting as if everything was all right just didn’t make sense.It was just another post-dinner confrontation, although this time when Mikey stopped at the entrance of Leo’s cart, his brother didn’t even let him speak before he groaned deeply and rolled his head back in clear frustration, lowering a book he was holding with tight fingers and white knuckles. He looked like he was preparing to toss the hardcover straight in Mikey’s face.“No, Mikey, I don’t want to talk about it,” he said before Mikey could even ask. “I get that your thing is talking about feelings and emotions and making sense of them, but I don’t want to! I’m sick of your thing! Can you, for once in your life, back off and leave me alone instead of trying to nose into something that’s none of your business? Stop coming here every day, stop asking me the same stupid question over and over again, stop trying to weasel an explanation I’m not ready to give! Just leave me alone!”Honestly, getting smacked in the face by the fat book would have felt better.Mikey took in Leo’s posture—shoulders tense, legs like coiled springs, lips set in a firm line, eye ridges furrowed in anger and eyes burning a hole into Mikey, daring him to defy him and still ask his question—and his eyes started to sting and burn and glaze-over with moisture without his consent.A part of him whispered stubbornly that he had no right to feel sorry for himself. That he’s been bothering and bugging Leo for weeks now, and it was about time Leo retaliated. He saw it coming, after all. He should have known Leo would snap sooner rather than later, even if he could force himself to stay calm for so long.But that logic was overruled by the sheer distress and shock and hurt that Leo’s words caused. He felt like someone he trusted just took a peek at his brain to see what would hurt Mikey the most, then used it to make precise cuts at his chest, knowing exactly where to press the blade of the knife to get the best results.It didn’t help that even though Mikey wasn’t unfamiliar with his brothers’ anger aimed at him, he was still the least acquainted with it. They usually held back when it came to him, as if too afraid of actually hurting his feelings because he was the youngest, the one they were supposed to protect and not inflict pain upon.He hated himself for sniffling pathetically, but the tears just poured out of his eyes without his permission and the sound tore through him before he could stop it in its tracks.Through his blurry vision he thought he could see Leo’s hard expression easing up, morphing into something softer, but Mikey couldn’t tell if it was just wishful thinking.Before Leo could say anything else, Mikey bolted out of there and straight to his room, ignoring Raph’s confused voice calling out his name and asking what was going on. He just slammed the door of his own train cart behind him, then instinctively pulled his limbs and head into his shell and let himself clatter to the floor as he tried to keep his sobs as quiet as possible in the dark space no one could disturb him in. Leo stared at the spot where Mikey was just a second ago, his hand half-raised before him as he tried to—futilely—catch and hold him back. He could see the moment when Mikey’s brain leaned toward his fight-or-flight instinct, and with him it was usually a mix of freeze and flight, so it wasn’t very surprising to see him whirl on his heel and flee.“Mikey? Mikey!” Raph’s voice called from outside, sounding concerned.And of course he’d be concerned—Leo just messed up. He was fed up with Mikey asking him if he wanted to talk about the whole leadership thing, true, but he’s been trying to rein in his annoyance while facing his little brother because he knew he was just worried. Everything Mikey did was always so pure, especially when it came to his brothers.It was just… he didn’t want to think about it all too much, but everyone else seemed to be pushing for Leo to talk about it and he seriously didn’t want to.He didn’t need Dad to tell him that he had all the qualities of a leader inside; he didn’t need Raph to gently try and make sure Leo wasn’t hurting as a result of the united front his brothers had formed during that dinner; he didn’t need Donnie to bug him about inventions he’d like to get from him when that stupid shock collar still made his skin crawl at the mere thought of receiving more personalized gifts from his twin.And he didn’t need Mikey to come to his room every day without fail just to ask Leo if he wanted to talk about something he clearly didn’t want to talk about.He shouldn’t have taken his frustration out on Mikey, though. That was definitely the wrong thing to do. For a second it felt amazing, to throw the words in Mikey’s face, knowing they might not be accurate, yet they were certainly the right ones to use in order to get Mikey to back off. But then that second passed and Leo was left with a sparkly-eyed, heartbroken and hurt young brother who stared at him like he just took one of his katana and stabbed him in the heart with it.As if Leo needed any more reasons to feel like scum.“Leo, what happened? What did you do?” demanded Raph frantically the moment he appeared at the doorway.Leo’s hand dropped listlessly. His other hand let go of the medical book he’s been re-reading before Mikey showed up. The glint of protectiveness in Raph’s eyes made Leo feel even worse, because it was aimed at Leo, like Leo was the one the family needed protection from. Which was true, but it still hurt.“I-I didn’t—” he stuttered, his head shaking from side to side anxiously. “He just… um…”Raph softened at once. “Hey, buddy, you okay?”He just hurt Mikey. Why was Raph suddenly being nice and kind to him? Uh, maybe it had something to do with the way his hands were shaking a bit.They both startled a little at the sound of a door getting shut. Raph sent a look over his shoulder. Leo didn’t need to look to know this was Mikey’s doing and that he just shut himself in his room. Because of him. Because Leo purposefully sliced him with his words, with the same kind of precision a surgeon needs during an operation.Turning back to Leo, Raph raised an eye ridge. “What’s going on?”“Um…” Leo curled a little into himself, then shook his head with a frown and got off his bed. “I’m gonna go talk to Mikey.”“Are you sure—”“Yes, Raph. Just let me handle it. I messed up—I’ll fix it,” said Leo with as much confidence as he could muster, patting Raph on the arm as if to say Don’t worry, I’ve got this.Hesitantly, Raph moved out of his way. “Hey, Miguel? Mikey? I know you’re in there, bud,” said Leo’s voice.Mikey sniffed and tried to bite back on his wails as he hugged himself the best he could in the cramped space of his shell, feeling the cold floor pressed up against him, not really offering any sort of comfort.
Tap-tap.
There was a knock on the door of his room but he didn’t answer, instead closing his eyes in a vain effort to try and block everything out—the chill of the train cart, the shuffling feet outside, the thoughts racing through his head, arguing over whether or not Mikey even deserved to sulk and cry when it was his fault Leo ever lashed out in the first place.Tap-tap-tap.“Mikey?” said Leo. “Can I come in? Mike?”He couldn’t answer even if he wanted to, because he was pretty sure that if he opened his mouth, what would come out would be a loud, agonized and miserable wail. Which would be bad because then Leo would feel guilty when Mikey was supposed to be the guilty one here for pushing Leo too hard.Although Leo did hurt him.But… only because Mikey hurt him, first.Ugh, he was losing it.
Tap… tap.
“I’m sorry for what I said to you,” Leo said hesitantly. He waited for a moment when Mikey still didn’t speak up, then added, “Okay, I’m coming in, all right?”Mikey squeezed himself tighter at the sound of the door screeching open, immediately followed by Leo muttering “Aw, Mikey,” in this sad little voice. Then his footsteps approached Mikey’s spot on the metal floor before a hesitant hand brushed against his shell.“I’m sorry I said all that stuff to you, Mikey. I didn’t really mean it, I promise,” said Leo as he drew gentle circles into Mikey’s patterned shell. “I was just frustrated, you know? But I don’t really think this way. Your thing—your whole… therapeutic, emotional bullshit—we all love it. It just… it can get a little… overwhelming, sometimes.”Mikey shook with the force of another sob running through him, ugly and loud. The hand on his shell froze for a moment.“Oh, shoot,” muttered Leo, and then both his hands were on Mikey’s shell, pulling him off the floor and into his lap, against Leo’s plastron. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Mikey, please don’t cry. It’s okay. It’ll all be okay, I promise. I… um… I’ll tell you the truth, all right? Just please don’t cry.”And oh, this was so much better than the cold, harsh floor of the cart. They were turtles, so they weren’t exactly warm, but everything was better than the steel floor of Mikey’s room, especially a hug from one of his brothers. He basked in the feeling of the arms wound around him, tightly pulling him closer, like barriers from everything bad the world had to throw their way.It felt like the safest place in the world, and the purrs emerging from deep within Leo, vibrating against Mikey’s plastron, soothed him further, like balm on the burns left by the scolding words from earlier. He returned it reflexively, without thought, his sobs subsiding slowly.“There you go,” whispered Leo.His purrs chanted Safeprotectedcalmrelaxlovesafe.It took Mikey a couple of minutes to stop crying, though he could still feel the tear tracks drying on his cheeks as he sniffed every now and then, the sound echoing around him in the comforting space of his shell. Above him, Leo’s voice kept on murmuring gently, holding him securely like he would fight anyone who would dare try and rustle Mikey away from him.Silence enveloped them, only disturbed by the occasional sniff from Mikey or a calming hum from Leo.Sliding his arms and legs out, Mikey sat properly on Leo’s legs and wrapped his hands around his brother, clinging to him with enough force to make Leo huff out a bit as the air was pushed out of his lungs. He didn’t let up, though, so Mikey figured it was okay.Then he raised his head and peered up at Leo through a thin sheen of tears, heart thundering in his chest as he studied the face smiling down at him in pure, genuine relief. Leo wasn’t supporting one of his shining, larger-than-life smiles, but rather a smaller, more sincere one that made his eyes crinkle around the corners and his cheeks puff.“Hey, buddy,” he said quietly, moving one of his hands to once again rub against Mikey’s shell.Mikey sniffled one more time. “I’m sorry I pushed you,” he said. “I shouldn’t have. I should have just left you alone. You—” He took in a deep breath, then let it out slowly. “You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to, Lee. I promise I won’t ask you again.”For a long moment Leo seemed to contemplate his words, still on the fence on whether he should accept Mikey’s words and not bring any of this up again or determinedly stick to his earlier promise to explain things to Mikey at long last.Doing his best to look neutral, Mikey waited without saying another word, just glad to have Leo there with him, calm and at ease instead of throwing harsh statements in his face like he did before.And then Leo’s face cleared and he said, “Hey, remember that park we found once, with the public chess sets?”Mikey blinked up at him. “Um… yes?”“Wanna come there with me?”Oh, so he didn’t want to talk to Mikey. This was fine. It was fine. Leo didn’t owe him answers or explanations. He never did. So Mikey will accept this and he’ll just be glad his brother wanted him around even though he’s been a thorn at his side for the last few weeks.Although… chess wasn’t really his thing. And Leo knew that.“Sure,” he said, because he figured that was the correct response. He wasn’t that much into chess, but he did like the idea of spending time with Leo, even if it involved a lot of losing and thinking and moping.Leo’s smile looked like a mix between nervousness and happiness, which was baffling, but Mikey decided to overlook it.“Great. Wear a disguise, okay? I’ll be right back.” Leo portalled them over to the park with ease—an ease that hadn’t been there at first, but now using the mystic power was like second nature to him—then guided Mikey toward a free table, the chess set lying there, inanimate. A couple of elderly people was sitting at the next table, only casting Leo and Mikey a brief glance before going back to their conversation and game.Everything kind of felt… normal. They both organized the pieces, getting ready to play, and Leo talked quickly about random subjects the entire time, acting like nothing was amiss, like Mikey wasn’t still occasionally trembling from his previous crying session. He smiled and laughed and threw jokes around just like he always did.But there was something tense about him that Mikey noticed at some point, growing more and more obvious the closer they got to the game itself. It was in his hunched shoulders and his darting eyes and his too-wide grins and his restless legs that bounced under the table.He didn’t comment on it, instead happily starting the game once it was all set.For a few minutes Leo was silent, his mouth firmly shut as he gazed down at the board with studious eyes and the kind of concentration he rarely ever gave anything else in life. Mikey let it drag on, focusing on the game the best he could while trying to maybe figure out what the heck Leo was planning so he could last longer in this game. There was no way he would win, but he could lose with dignity, right?And then Leo moved one of his bishops and said, “I knew Dad was planning on making me the leader. It was kind of obvious. He kept on watching me extra carefully after we first fought the Shredder, so it didn’t really come out of nowhere.”Mikey cast him a surprised look, his fingers hovering over a pawn that he was desperately trying to get across to the other side of the board.Instead of looking at him, Leo was still studying the board, his eyes moving around like he was already seeing their next ten steps of the game even though Mikey wasn’t sure what his current move would be.“But it also did, because I kept on trying to make him see I shouldn’t be the leader. I didn’t want to be the leader,” continued Leo with false nonchalance. “I literally kept on eating poison to try and let Splinter see I would be the worst person to lead the team. Obviously, that didn’t work.”Mikey shoved his pawn forward, then gave Leo an incredulous look. “You didn’t want to be the leader?”A small smirk appeared on Leo’s face as he moved his knight. “As incredible as it would be to boss all of you around,” he said, sending Mikey a brief look of amusement, “no. I’m good with following Raph’s orders. Or, even better, with suggesting a plan and letting him execute it.”Frowning a little in confusion, Mikey tried to both focus on what Leo was saying and on the game. He bit his lip when he noticed his last bishop was in danger and clearly unprotected. He tried to make sense of the fact that his most attention-seeking brother didn’t want to be the leader.“Why does it matter if you only suggest the plan?” he asked as he moved his bishop. “Wouldn’t it be easier to just come up with a plan and go with it without having to relay it to someone else first? Sounds like something that would have been easier to do if you were, you know, the leader of the team.”“It would’ve been easier, yes, and maybe then Raph wouldn’t keep on going in with his default plan of smash-everything-and-everyone,” said Leo with a shrug. “But… as long as the plan has to be approved by someone else, it wouldn’t be my fault if someone got hurt because of it.”Mikey fell silent as he let the words roll around his head.They kept on playing silently, Leo refusing to look at him even once as they moved their pieces across the board, taking out some of the little statues. The white pile—Mikey’s pile—was growing bigger and bigger with each passing moment. Somehow, his pawn was still alive, though, slowly making its way to Leo’s side of the checkered board.Eventually, with a contemplative frown on his face, Mikey said, “You don’t want to be the leader because you’re scared one of us would get hurt?”“It’s more complicated than that,” said Leo softly as he knocked over one of Mikey’s pawns before dragging it away.“How so?”For another long moment Leo didn’t say a word, but this silence felt almost choking, suffocating, oppressive. When Mikey looked across the table at his big brother, he found a blank look on his face as he tapped one of his fallen rooks on the table absently. He looked like he was lost in thought, though he still moved his queen when it was his turn, so he wasn’t completely gone.Wetting his lip, Leo finally opened his mouth. “Back when we first fought the Shredder—when I grabbed Dad to negotiate with Big Mama and left you behind to take care of that demonic armor—I had a plan all figured out; I had a plan to outthink Big Mama and beat the Shredder, and I was… I just went with it without even giving it a second thought. I barely even thought about how much danger you guys were in, because I was determined to see it through ‘cause I was certain it was gonna work.”“It did work,” noted Mikey with a flabbergasted smile. “You got that mystic collar from Big Mama.”Leo moved his pawn one square forward.“Yeah, and you know how I felt while you guys were fighting for your lives?” he said, and his carefree tone dipped down until it sounded bitter and slightly darker than usual. “I was exhilarated.”Mikey’s hand wavered a bit as he went to grab his bishop. He looked at Leo again, taking in the crease of his forehead and the way he was squeezing the life out of his rook instead of lightly tapping it. He wouldn’t meet Mikey’s eyes, either, as if too anxious about what he might find on his face.He looked… angry. And guilty.“Why?” asked Mikey, making sure to keep his voice free of anything judgmental.“Because!” said Leo, his voice raising a bit. “Because for the first time in my life I felt like I was facing an actual challenge, and it was exciting and fun, okay? I felt like I was playing chess, but against an opponent that actually had a chance at beating me, and I absolutely loved it, even though the pieces I was moving around were literally the members of my family.”He grabbed Mikey’s hesitant hand, closed it around the white bishop, then moved it to the square where Leo’s pawn was, knocking it over.Letting go of Mikey, Leo dropped the pawn next to his other fallen pieces. “And that whole time I kept on feeling bitter because I knew none of you trusted me or believed I might actually have a plan. Even Dad tried to squirm out of it, and it hurt, but in retrospect… was it even a good plan if it put everyone but me at risk?”“Leo, that’s not… that’s not an indication of anything. Your plan worked. We would have been in danger either way, but you made sure we would be able to get rid of the Shredder. That was already good enough. None of us would have been able to get that collar from Big Mama.”“But what if someone got hurt?” pressed Leo, finally meeting his eyes. There was something frantic and desperate in his gaze. “What if Donnie or you got hurt? What if April did? Raph never green-lit that plan. This would have all been on me, and I hadn’t even considered that until I heard that Donnie’s battle shell got, well, shredded. And this could have been his actual shell, Mikey. And if that had happened, it would have been my fault because it wasn’t Raph executing that plan, it was me.”Mikey remembered that—Donnie’s terrified cry kept on haunting his dreams every night for weeks after that incident. It was a nightmare. And Donnie himself had been too spooked and nervous to let himself walk around without his battle shell for what felt like ages; even when he was home with his family.He shook his head. “But you… you couldn’t have known that would happen,” he protested. “None of us could. It was the Shredder’s fault—and the Foot Clan’s, actually. Your plan was amazing, Leo. That’s exactly why Dad thought you’d make a good leader—because your go-to plan is usually more sophisticated than attack-the-enemy-until-they-submit.”Leo’s shoulders curled inwardly as he went back to staring at the game, moving his king with his finger.“That’s a good thing,” Mikey reminded him uneasily, “isn’t it? You’re smart!”“I’m manipulative,” corrected Leo, and his tone of voice changed again, sounding hollow and lifeless now as he took in the progress of their game. “How do you think I knew immediately that Big Mama was bad news? She acted the same way I do sometimes, and I recognized it. It’s why tricking her was so fun, since I knew we thought the same way so outsmarting each other… manipulating each other… it was tougher than usual; it was an actual challenge.”Mikey’s mind was reeling as he stared at the board with a deep scowl. He could hardly concentrate on what they were doing with their pieces anymore. Frankly, he had no idea how Leo was keeping track of both the game and their conversation, but… he really shouldn’t have been surprised.Not really thinking it through, he advanced with his prodigious pawn only for Leo to swiftly take it down with his queen. Mikey nearly cried in frustration again, but he held the tears back and instead put the pawn away, next to its buddies.“Well…” he started saying unsurely, though his tone was curt and sharp and determined, “well, if you’re manipulative, then so am I.”Leo’s hand faltered as he went to move his rook. He gave Mikey an unreadable look. “Don’t be stupid, Mikey, you’re not manipulative.”“Yes, I am,” he said stubbornly and watched as Leo took down his queen. “I know I’m the baby of the family. I know I can get away with a lot of stuff because of it, ‘cause you’re always taking pity on me or you think you shouldn’t be as harsh when I make a mistake. I can get away with a lot of stuff because I’m the youngest, and I play this card all the time because I know you won’t react badly.”Leo stared at him for a moment longer, then looked back down. “I’m so telling Donnie and Raph you said that.”Shrugging, Mikey thoughtlessly moved his king to the side so Leo’s rook wouldn’t be able to threaten it. “Like you guys didn’t know that already. Either way, my point still stands—that’s manipulation, too, so you’re not the only one who does it. And I don’t think it’s a bad thing when you use your squills to win a fight or get out of a dangerous situation, Lee. It’s called using your strengths.”His brother still didn’t look satisfied or pacified, instead looking at the game almost grimly.“Have you noticed how our ninpō matches with who we are?” Mikey said, keeping his tone light as they continued to play. “Raph can generate a, like, giant red version of himself, right? And he can either use it to pound whoever he’s facing off against, or he can protect us with it. And Donnie can make these mystic technological weapons with a single thought. And I have my rad nunchaku that, you may have noticed, is just as wild and captivating as me.”Leo snorted a bit as he used his pieces to back Mikey’s king into a corner.“And there’s your power,” continued Mikey, unbothered by the approaching end of their game, since… well, he knew this was coming from the moment he agreed to play against Leo.“Portals,” Leo indulged him as he moved his knight. “Because I like magic, and disappearing acts are awesome?”Mikey kicked him under the table. The yelp from Leo earned them a set of disapproving looks from the elderly couple sitting at the nearby table, but they soon looked away, seemingly without noticing the fact that the two of them had, you know, green faces. Oh, well.“No,” said Mikey pointedly as he shoved his king back. “It’s because you have an innate ability to look at a scene and evaluate the situation quickly before coming up with a plan to handle it in the best possible way. Your ninpō literally allows you to approach our fights like they’re games of chess. You can just move the pieces as you see fit with your portals.”Leo glanced up at him. “That’s… true,” he said hesitantly, then his lips twisted a bit as he said, “Great, so my powers encourage me to manipulate everything and everyone, too.”“It’s not a bad thing,” insisted Mikey as Leo advanced toward his king with his queen.“Isn’t it? You know why I didn’t want to talk about the whole vote thing? It was because I saw that vote coming from a mile away. I was counting on it. I didn’t want to be the leader, so I did my best to convince all of you I was terrible at it, ‘cause I knew you’d get sick of it eventually and then Raph would step back up and claim this stupid title for himself. I didn’t want to talk about it because I was relieved I didn’t have to keep on tricking you guys anymore.”Mikey glanced at the hopeless game on the table, then looked at Leo again. He wrung his fingers in his lap and let his leg bounce up and down under the table.“And I’m going to tell Donnie and Raph about it, just so you know,” he said, ignoring the unsurprised-yet-still-annoyed look he received from Leo at that, “but I’m not mad at you for that. And they won’t be, either. You… you acted out ‘cause you were scared. It sounds like a lot of pressure to carry by yourself, Leo, but… but you’re not alone. You should have just told us about it. Then we could’ve found a way to make it work out.”Hesitantly, Leo bit his lip, then said, “Like what?”“Like… like…” Mikey racked his brain for an idea, “like hearing your plans out before going through with them, so we can voice our doubts if we have any. Then you can decide whether the risk is worth it or not, and we’d be aware of it, too. You can—you should—talk to Raph about it. He’s been the leader for two years. He must have been nervous about it, too. Maybe he still is.”Finally—after what felt like forever—Leo’s lips tugged up, forming a small smile. He still looked uncertain and hesitant, like he wasn’t sure he could really trust what Mikey was saying; or maybe he wasn’t sure any of this would actually help. But he was smiling, so Mikey figured he was at least hearing him out.When he looked at Mikey again, there was a proud glint in his eye that made Mikey straighten up in his chair a little, his own smile widening.“Okay, you’re pretty smart when it comes to all this emotional crap, I’ll give you that,” he said fondly.Mikey beamed at him. “Thanks!”“Too bad it can’t help you win a game of chess, though,” he said and knocked Mikey’s king down.Scrunching up his snout, Mikey dismissively said, “This was a lost cause from the moment we started. The only one who ever had a chance against you was Donnie and I’m pretty sure he hasn’t won a game in, what, four years?”“Five,” Leo corrected smugly.Mikey rolled his eyes and pushed himself to his feet before latching onto Leo’s wrist in order to rouse him up as well. “Come on. Let’s go get pizza. We can go to Run of the Mill. Talking about serious stuff over pizza is always better than talking about it over nothing.”“Miguel, we already ate dinner,” noted Leo in amusement, though he still let Mikey drag him away from their table and toward a couple of bushes.“No one back home will ever say no to pizza, though, so it’s a foolproof plan.”With a shlink! Leo pulled out his katana and cut the air with it, forming a familiar blue portal for the two of them, hidden behind the bushes so that no one (the old couple) would see anything unusual happening around the park.“You’re paying,” warned Leo before he pushed a laughing Mikey through the portal.