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November, 2014
On a scale of 10, Taehyung would rate this morning a 0. First of all, he woke up late and got an earful from his mother for not finishing his breakfast, then he missed his bus and was thirty minutes late to the school. His bad luck for the day didn’t stop there, he had run through the hallways to reach his classroom only to bump into someone and that someone was none other than Choi, his senior and the one who loves to make his life hell.  “Well, well, well, Who do we have here?” Choi looks down on him as Taehyung collects his scattered notes and papers. “Is it my beloved Kim Taehyung?” he crouches down next to Taehyung and watches him hurriedly pick up the papers. “What's the hurry Taehyung-ah?” he smirks and takes a few papers from the ground and stands up.  Taehyung quickly gathers his stuff and rushes to his feet. “Give that back” he stretches his hand out in an attempt to take back his notes. “Tsk not so soon. We just met. Don’t you want to talk to your hyung? Where are your manners?” Choi hides the papers behind his back. Other times Taehyung would say fuck it and leave the place but today he desperately needs those papers, he needs to submit them. “Please give it back. I’m getting late for my class” he says, looking around to see if he could spot any of his teachers to help him. “The nerd is getting late? Well that's bad. Here take it” Choi hands him the papers and when Taehyung tries to get it out of his hand, he pulls back which ends up tearing the papers apart. “Oops. you tore it Taehyung” he says with fake gasp and laughs at him as he throws the other half of the papers on Taehyung’s face. “See you later Taehyung-ah” Taehyung grits his teeth and watches Choi walk away. He feels his eyes tear up with anger and frustration. He hates it when he can’t stand up for himself and gets walked all over by people like Choi. But much to his dislike, he is a bit of a coward who is afraid to speak against people like Choi, because one time he did he remembers getting beaten to trash by them. He bends down and picks up the torn papers and walks to his class.  When he walks into his class, everyone’s attention in the class turns to him. The teacher stops his lecture mid way and looks at Taehyung who enters the class. “Taehyung, why are you late?” the questions. “Sorry sir, I missed my bus” he feels ashamed to be saying such excuses. “The class is almost over. Anyways, submit the assignment and go to your seat” the teacher says. Taehyung stands there and looks at the torn papers in his hand, there is no way he could submit this and there is no way the teacher would believe it if he said his assignment was ruined. He lets out a sigh and braces himself to get embarrassed before the entire class.  “I didn’t complete it, sir” he says quietly and looks down as tears well up in his eyes. He hears the teacher sigh loudly. “Well I'm afraid you will have to stay out for the rest of the class. Everyone who didn’t submit their assignment are out, so find your way” the teacher says and goes back to teaching. Taehyung doesn't look up, he quickly nods and walks back the way he came in. It is only then he notices the students standing outside the classroom. He looks at them whispering among themselves, it just fuels his embarrassment. He walks away from them and stands with his back resting on the wall. He blames himself for missing his alarm which made him end up in this place. If only he wasn’t late and didn’t miss his bus. If only he didn’t bump into the stupid Choi. if only he hadn’t dropped his stuff like an idiot and if only he had the guts to fight back for himself. He hugs his notes to his chest and slumps back on the wall closing his eyes, well at least the day couldn’t get any worse or he thought so.  After the bell rang and the teacher walked out of the class, he walked back in deliberately avoiding the whispers and glances of his classmates. He knows for sure that they are talking about how ‘the nerd’ failed to submit his assignment and got punished. He could even hear some of them giggle at him. But he is too tired to spare a thought for them. He just silently walks to his desk and finds Jimin, his only friend, looking at him with a sympathetic smile.  Jimin quickly scoots to the other end of the desk and makes space for Taehyung to sit. Once he plops down, he rests his head on the bench and closes his eyes, he needs a few moments of silence before the day resumes.  “Half of them copied the assignment only this morning. Don’t mind these idiots. What happened?” Jimin asks, placing one of his hands on Taehyung's shoulders. Taehyung lifts up his head from the desk “I woke up late, missed the bus, ran through the hallways before bumping into Choi, dropped my note and that fucker tore the papers.” he says and shows the torn papers to Jimin.  “That asshole. You should have told the teacher what happened. You should seriously report him, Tae” Jimin fumes looking at pieces of papers on their desk. “You know I did report him, but what happened? Nothing. So forget it, Min. I’ll rewrite the assignment and submit it before going home” he says  “Don’t worry. One day we will definitely get back at him," Jimin says with an angry face but Taehyung thinks he looks like a cute angry bird. “Sure Min” he chuckles, knowing well that neither of them will be able to do that. The rest of the day is better until lunch, where he once again gets to meet Choi or rather when Choi finds him again. Taehyung was peacefully having his lunch with Jimin, who was ranting about the new idol group that has debuted and how handsome they all look. Taehyung was listening to him while eating his first meal of the day. But suddenly someone came from behind and dropped a glass of juice on his shirt. “Oops, that was totally an accident” he hears the voice and the laughter that follows. Taehyung closes his eyes and counts to five before turning back to curse at the fucker. But before that someone else is already by his side pushing away Choi and cursing at him. “What the fuck is wrong with you? You deliberately dropped it on him. Have you gone nuts? Is this how you treat your juniors?” The guy standing before him scowls at Choi, taking a stand for Taehyung. Taehyung is quite surprised, because no one has ever stood up for him. Everyone either watched it happen from the side with pity or laughed at him, but on one has ever done this for him. He looks at them, eyes drifting between Choi and the raven head guy, the guy keeps questioning him about his actions and Choi for once is silent. He just stands there and listens to the guy without fighting back, Taehyung never thought he would live a day to witness this.  “It really was an accident” Choi tries to defend himself and his voice is nothing like how he talks to Taehyung. He sounds scared. “No. I saw you walk all the way to him and I saw you pour the juice on him. It wasn’t an accident.” the guy says with so much authority and Taehyung wishes to never be on the other end and listen to this guy.  The guy turns back to him and Taehyung almost stops breathing. The man is so attractive..  His milky skin, sharp eyes and perfect figure takes away Taehyung's breath. The guy’s eyes immediately softened sensing Taehyung’s shocked demeanour.  His face morphs into a gentle smile, and Taehyung watches his cheeks slightly puff up when he smiles. Cute. The guy looks so cute when he smiles like that. His eyes look at him with nothing but kindness, there is no pity or mockery in those eyes. They look at him with kindness and warmth.  “Hey, you alright?” The guy speaks and his voice sounds like the sound of water falling on a rock, sharp yet soft and smooth, like how the water glides over the surface of the rock. It's demanding but with a touch of gentleness.  Taehyung watches him, mesmerised by the sight until Jimin nudges him from the back. He breaks out of his trance and blinks a few times “uh- I'm fine” he says but then looks down at his shirt, a perfect day to wear whites. He curses at himself, the shirt has almost become translucent and is sticking to his figure. He tugs his shirt away from his body, his cheeks heat up noticing that everyone in the canteen is now looking at him. The guy watches him intently before shrugging off his own jacket and hands it out to Taehyung. “You can wear this. I'm sure you have classes to attend” he says politely. “No it's fine, I can manage,” Taehyung says, not wanting to come off like a loser in front of the handsome guy. “No please I insist” the guy is stubborn and Taehyung not wanting any more attention on him silently takes the jacket “thank you” he says sincerely.The guy then turns back to Choi “Apologise to him.” he demands Choi to apologise. “Jeon you don’t know-” Choi tries to speaks up, “I said apologise, Choi. If you don’t want me to report you, you better apologise now and never bother him again” the guy says. Taehyung hears Choi curse under his breath and watches his face twist in anger. “I’m sorry” Choi grits through his teeth and glares at Taehyung before walking away.  Taehyung can’t believe that Choi had actually apologised to him and that too in front of so many people. He turns to Jimin to make sure he isn’t hallucinating but when he sees the shell shocked expression on his friend’s face it is confirmed that it really happened.  “Thank you so much” he turns back to the guy and thanks him. The handsome man looks at him with a warm smile “It's okay. Take care” he says and then walks away to the nearby table and joins his group. Taehyung’s cheek flares up when he notices everyone in the canteen looking at him and he hears the whispers going around on the tables. He quickly wraps the jacket over him and zips it up. “Holy shit I can’t believe this” he hears Jimin says “Tae, Jeon Jungkook gave you his jacket. Holy shit” Jimin continues to curse at how cool the entire scene was. ‘Jeon Jungkook’ Taehyung mumbles. A small smile tugs at his lips and his hold on the jacket tightens. When he breathes in he can smell the musky scent still lingering in the jacket and something flutters in his heart.  “Taehyung! Did you see that? Choi actually said sorry. And did you see how Jungkook threatened him, that was so hot” Jimin continued to fawn over how cool Jeon Jungkook  was. If he was honest,  Taehyung doesn’t remember any of that, all he remembers is the warm smile and kind eyes that stared at him, the voice that stood up for him and a name that he wants to know more about. He smiles to himself and continues to finish his food, occasionally glancing at his neighbouring table to catch a glimpse of Jeon Jungkook.  After finishing his food, Taehyung and Jimin walk back to their classroom. On his way back to the classroom he realises that by now half of the school is aware about how Jeon Jungkook, the handsome senior, saved the nerd. He doesn’t mind the talks but it's just too much of attention on him. Also surprisingly Choi hasn’t shown up again, so maybe that's a good thing.  He turns deaf to the whispers around him and walks to his class. Thankfully, no one in the class bothered to ask him stupid questions about what happened in the canteen. So he tries to focus on the class, trying to ignore the scent lingering on the jacket that occasionally breezes through his nostrils, or how warm it feels to be wrapped in the senior’s clothes. ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────The rest of the classes were peaceful. Despite the murmurings, no one bothered to approach him and he was able to go through his class without anyone breathing down his back. He also managed to submit the assignment before the end of the day and thankfully his teacher waved him off with a warning. No matter how the day had started it ended on a good note and now Taehyung can’t wait to go back home.  After bidding goodbye to Jimin, Taehyung walks out of the school building. Most of the students are running out through the gates. After an entire day at this exhausting confinement Taehyung can understand their enthusiasm to cross the gate and free themselves from this judgmental cage. Honestly Taehyung shares the same feelings today, after the entire day of excruciating embarrassment and judgmental eyes he can’t wait to get enclosed in the familiar walls of his room.   Clutching onto the straps of his bag he walks out of the gates of hell, drowned in his own thoughts. As he walks through the memorised path, he replays the afternoon happenings. His hands automatically grip on the hems of the jacket as he remembers the senior, Jeon Jungkook. Taehyung has had his fair share of crushes, in fact it was his uncontrollable crush on Andrew Garfield that made him realise how gay he was. While everyone was busy gushing over Stacy, Taehyung couldn’t take his eyes off the Spiderman. That, with increasing list crushes over men made him realise his preference.  He even had a few crushes over boys of his age but none of them were worth making a move on. but right now his crush over Jeon Jungkook, the kind senior, looks a bit more serious. He feels like no one has ever looked at him the way the senior did today. His eyes were a confine to a million stars and when he looked at him he felt all those stars were shining just for him. Taehyung knows all this could be just an exaggerated observation of his mind but no matter how much he thinks about it he can’t seem to escape from those eyes- he was enchanted by them the moment he saw him. “I’m home!” Taehyung announces as he walks through the door. “Fresh up and come down soon. I made some snacks for you. Did you have a proper lunch?” his mother enquires from the kitchen.  “Yes mom, I did” Taehyung shouts back his reply and walks up the stairs to reach his room. He walks into his room, drops his bag on the floor and falls into the bed just like he dreamed since the morning. The jacket still draped over his figure and the scent still loosely hanging on it, serves as a constant reminder of the afternoon happenings.  He quickly gets up and carefully removes the jacket. He holds it at an arm distance and stares at it. It looks like a branded piece of clothing and he is sure it must cost some thousands. He wonders how generous it was of Jungkook to simply give it to him without even asking him to return it back. He once again drifts into his daydreams of the senior who enchanted him.He neatly folds the jacket, reminding himself to wash it before returning back to the senior. Later that night when he sits down to complete his school work, his curious mind asks him to go on the internet and look up at the senior who has been on his mind the whole day. He opens a new tab and logs into his Facebook account. A quick search through his mutual's accounts helps him find his senior. Taehyung raises his fist in the air, with a little joy dancing in his eyes, when he finds out that Jungkook's account is public meaning nothing can stop him from knowing a bit more about his knight in shining armour.   ‘JJK, Student, Capturing life through the lens’ - the bio reads and a smile ghosts Taehyung's lips as he goes through the account. There are pictures of Jungkook and pictures taken by Jungkook. Taehyung can’t help but wonder how it would be to be captured through Jungkook's lens, his pictures are so different and taken from a very unique perspective. In one of the pictures Jungkook had captured the bustling market street on a busy day, but unlike any other market photos, his lens blur the bustling crowd and focuses on a puppy embraced by its mother, Jungkook had captured the motherly love and the warm embrace of the dog duo through his lens. While the crowd gradually disappears in the background the mother-child dog duo stands out through his lens.  A few more scrolls and he finds so many selfies of Jungkook, individual pics and pictures with his friends. The senior looks handsome and so beautiful but then again and again he finds himself getting lost in those eyes. Those eyes are enticing and makes him wonder how it would feel to have them on him all the time.  Through his Facebook adventure Taehyung also finds out that Jungkook likes coffee over tea, he likes egg sandwiches from the cafe near the school and his favourite colour is black. He feels a sense of happiness at the end of his internet adventure, knowing he knows a bit more about Jungkook and a rush of excitement courses through his veins as he plans to know more about his senior.  ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────The next day Taehyung wakes up to the sound of the alarm and gets ready to catch his bus on time. Once he got ready to leave, his eyes fell over the jacket lying on his table. His mother had washed it last night upon his request and now it was neatly folded and kept  on his table, ready to be returned to its owner. Taehyung walked up to his table and took the piece of cloth in his hand. He slowly brought it up to his face and sniffed the fabric in hopes to get a whiff of the senior’s scent. But all he could catch was the smell of the fabric freshener and nothing else. He pouted and stared at the jacket for an entire minute.  When he was done sulking and decided to put the jacket in his bag a thought stuck in his mind. This jacket was the only connection he had with Jungkook so the longer he retained it, the longer he would have a chance to talk to the senior. He looked at the jacket and giggled mischievously as he placed the jacket back on the table. He will return it but maybe not today. He smiled to himself as he walked out of the room.───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────Unlike yesterday, today he reached the school on time and thankfully he didn’t bump into Choi on his way to the classroom. Maybe it's a good day, he smiled to himself as he set up his things on his table.  The first half of the day was filled with lectures and classes, half of the time during which he found himself drifting away with the thoughts of Jungkook. He couldn’t help but wonder what the senior was up to? If he had come to school today? If he remembers him? And so many more thoughts of the same kind. Jimin even threw a few questioning glances to his side but Taehyung shrugged them off with some lame excuses.  Thankfully the lunch break came sooner and Taehyung was the first one to pack his bag and leave the classroom leaving a very confused Jimin to trail behind him. “Tae!” Why the rush?” Jimin asks as he runs up to Taehyung.  Taehyung stops on his track and looks around as if he is lost “uhm… I’m hungry. Very hungry, let's go” and he drags Jimin with him to the cafeteria. The cafeteria is buzzing with the student population when the two friends come in. Even though it's only been a few minutes since the bell rang, all the counters are overflowing with students. They cannot be blamed after an entire morning of burning their energy in learning concepts that never makes any sense, anyone would be hungry as a wolf. If it was any other day then Taehyung would have also been crowding one of those counters, but today lunch isn’t his priority. “Let’s go fast, the queues are getting longer,” Jimin says with a grimace as he looks at those long lengthy lines of students. He tugs Taehyung’s hand and moves forward but Taehyung doesn’t budge. His legs don't move an inch and Jimin turns back to catch Taehyung’s eyes racking through the whole cafeteria. He pulls Taehyung’s hand again and this time manages to get his attention. Taehyung looks at him with a sense of hurry in his eyes “You go stand in the line, I’ll join you soon” he says and before Jimin could ask where he was going, Taehyung walks away. Jimin watches his friend jog through the crowd and finally disappear.  Something is wrong, Jimin thinks as his face twists in doubt. Taehyung walks past the crowd of students as his eyes search for a particular face. He mutters a chain of ‘excuse me’ as he walks past students carrying their lunch trays, careful enough to not bump into anyone.  His eyes jump from table to table as tries to figure out where the senior is seated. But unfortunately he doesn’t find the senior with black hair and starry eyes. He stands in the middle of the cafeteria with students scrambling around him as his face falls in disappointment. His eyes lose the excitement that they adorned the entire day and a small pout sits on his lips. Maybe Jungkook didn’t come to school today, he thinks. He just wanted to see him again and say hi but it seems like luck isn’t on his side today. Drowned in utmost sadness and disappointment he walks back to where he left Jimin. With a fallen face and a sad frown, he slowly pushes through the crowd and walks back to the line where Jimin is. He quietly joins the line behind Jimin. “What happened?” Jimin turns back and asks, seeing the sudden change in his mood. “Nothing” he quietly mumbles with his eyes cast down. It's so silly to feel disappointed over something trivial like this. He didn’t know about Jungkook until yesterday and today feeling disappointed over his absence feels silly. But Taehyung can’t help but feel that silly sadness. No matter how much he tries, the sadness lingers in him and he feels upset.  He is drowned in his own misery that he doesn’t notice Jimin moving forward in the line and the empty space before him. He stands there blocking the students, drowned in his own thoughts.  “Excuse me. Can you move forward?” Taehyung hears a husky whisper near his back. It startles him out of his thoughts. On reflex Taehyung turns back to face the person behind him and when he does he slightly stumbles on his feet as he comes face to face with the starry orbs that he has been searching for the entire time.  His eyes widen as he takes in the presence of Jungkook standing behind him. The frown dissipates and is replaced by a wide smile as he sees Jungkook. His heart lets out a sigh of relief and happiness begins to bubble in his veins. Taehyung stares at him with parted lips, blown eyes and stupid smile adorning his face. “Ahem” he hears Jungkook clear his throat and smile at him sweetly, at which Taehyung’s heart melts like an ice under the sun. “You need to move,” Jungkook says with his lips pressed together and that is when Taehyung turns back to see the big gap in front of him. An embarrassed flush coats his cheeks as he bows down a couple of times and quickly mutters a sorry and scramble forward to collect his lunch. As he collects his lunch tray, he can’t help but wish for the ground to swallow him as a whole. Not only did he fail to notice Jungkook when he had been standing behind him the entire time but also managed to embarrass himself in front of his crush for the second time in a row.As he walks to his table with the lunch tray in his hand, he looks at Jungkook through his peripheral vision. The senior laughs at something that his friend says and walks past Taehyung. However, Taehyung's eyes track each step until Jungkook along with his friends settle down on the table in front of him. Another giddy smile takes over his face as he realises he can watch the senior for the entire lunch break. Though Jimin doesn’t say anything about his weird behaviour he can see the questions hanging at the tip of his friend’s tongue. He blatantly ignores the questioning glances of Jimin and continues to eat his lunch while his eyes treat the sight of Jungkook.  After the lunch he abandons Jimin at the table and excuses himself to go to the washroom. But truth be told he saw Jungkook enter the washroom a few minutes ago and that's what prompted him to abandon his friend at the table. He enters the washroom and spots Jungkook near one of the sinks, washing his hands. He timidly walks up to the senior, palms begin to sweat as his heart flutters with each step. He doesn’t know why he followed the senior, he doesn’t know what to say to him. He just saw an opportunity to talk with Jungkook and took it without another thought. But now he starts to doubt as he gets closer to Jungkook. His mind comes up with so many ways this could go wrong and to top that Jungkook might not even remember him.  When too many doubts cloud his mind, he realises how stupid it was to follow the senior to the washroom. Just as he steps back and is about to turn around, Jungkook catches him. “Hey!” The senior greets him as he catches Taehyung's retreating figure through the mirror in front of him. Jungkook closes the tap and shakes off the excess water from his hands before turning to face Taehyung.  Taehyung feels like his ears are deceiving him when he hears the Jungkook. He really didn’t want to get caught like this- like a creep. He swiftly shuts his eyes close and holds his breath as he readies himself to be called out for following the senior like a weirdo.  “Hey! It’s you right? Yesterday….. In the canteen?” Jungkook drags his sentence as if not really wanting to remind the other of the incident.Taehyung’s eyes fly open and mouth parts in shock as he realises that Jungkook actually remembers him. He stares at Jungkook with wide eyes as his lips threaten to break into a grin. He doesn’t realise that he had been blatantly staring at the senior until he hears the said senior let out a chuckle. “You there?” Jungkook asks, pulling him out of his reverie. He raises his brows and lips turn into a teasing grin as he waits for Taehyung’s reply. Great. He managed to embarrass himself for the third time. Taehyung mentally hits himself for being a loser. His face is probably in the shade of a cherry after getting caught red handed. But despite his misery he does notice the grin plastered in the senior’s face. He can’t say if it is meant to be a playful one or a mocking one but either way that little grin makes his heart leap with happiness. “Hello?” Jungkook waves his hand in front of his face. “Oh hi?” Taehyung cries internally at how the words were merely audible. “Oh finally! I thought I gained some invisibility” Jungkook says and chuckles at his own attempt at humour. Though Taehyung finds the humour a little old, just a little it's still a good joke, he manages to pull a chuckle out of his own mouth. “I…. I just wanted to thank you for yesterday. Thank you so much for helping me” Taehyung finally manages to utter an entire sentence without making another embarrassment. He bows down to show how sincere his gratitude is. “Hey it's okay!” Jungkook immediately says when he sees Taehyung bow to him. He places his hand on Taehyung's shoulder and encourages him to straighten up. “Don’t thank me. Anyone in my place would have done the same.” he says and offers Taehyung a sweet smile. Taehyung itches to say that he is wrong and that no one has ever bothered to help him when it happened before. He bites back his tongue from saying that if not for Jungkook then he would have been walked over by Choi like every other day and no one would have bothered to stand up for him. A sheen of tears coats his eyes as he thinks about how he himself could not stand up for his defence.  “I don’t think so” he manages to say it as a whisper. Before Jungkook could catch on to it he smiles at the elder “I’m really thankful for your help” he says. “It's okay. I’m sorry you had to go through that yesterday. Are you okay?” Jungkook asks him with concern.  Taehyung is taken aback by how genuine his concern sounded. He feels something warm settle in his chest on hearing it. Apart from Jimin, no one else bothered to care for him on this campus and for once it was nice to be cared for by Jeon Jungkook.  “Yeah,” Taehyung nods as his lips break into the brightest smile. “That’s good. If he ever bothers you again, let me know. Okay?” Jungkook says and Taehyung immediately agrees. He will tell Jungkook because Jungkook cares for him. “Oh by the way, I’m Jeon Jungkook from Class 12” the senior introduces himself. Taehyung bites back the smile as he stops himself from saying I know . It wasn't like he spent hours observing (read: stalking) the senior’s socials, right? So he does the most reasonable thing and tells the senior his name in return. “I’m Kim Taehyung from Class 11” he says with a shy smile. “Ah! Taehyung, the class topper. Right?” Jungkook says with a knowing smile. “You know me?” Taehyung couldn’t help but voice out his surprise. Also it was one of the very few times where he was called as a topper and not as a nerd in a mocking tone. “Yeah, you are quite famous for your academic laurels. I have heard your name but didn’t know the pretty face behind it” the word rolls out Jungkook’s mouth ever so smoothly and before he realises what he had said, Taehyung turns red. Taehyung’s entire face flushes with a deep shade of red when he hears Jungkook refer to him as pretty. He opens and closes his mouth, not being able to utter a reply. He simply stares at the senior with his blushed face. Soon Jungkook realises what he had said and lets out an embarrassed chuckle as he lifts his hand to scratch the back of his nape. “Sorry if I overstepped. It's just that I have heard of you and you do look very pretty but I didn't mean to come off like that…I” his ramble is cut off when Taehyung laughs. Relief floods through Jungkook's system when he hears those honey-like laughter. “It's okay hyung. I don’t mind” Taehyung whispers along with his chuckle.  Jungkook stares back at him as he lets the younger’s words sink in and before he could reply they hear the bell ring, indicating the end of their lunch break.  “We should go” Jungkook says and they both walk back to their classes.  As Taehyung walks back to his class with an interrogative Jimin next to him, something in him says that he will meet Jungkook again tomorrow. ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────The next time Taehyung meets Jungkook it happens by chance. He was in the library looking for a cozy spot to sit down and do some studying. That is when he found Jungkook in one of those corner tables. The senior seemed to be engrossed in the book he was studying, his lips pulled together to form a pout and the pen in his hand was constantly swirled between his long slender fingers. The senior’s hair was a bit messy but a cute kind of messy. There was something magical in Jungkook's presence that made it impossible for Taehyung to not be attracted to him. It was a kind of pull that no matter how much he resisted at the end he had to give in to. This attraction had no rational explanation, rather it was just magical. Pulled in by that magical force, Taehyung slowly makes his way to Jungkook's table. He gently drops his books on the table and pulls out a chair to sit. The action draws the senior’s attention and Jungkook looks up from his book. He looks up from his book with an annoyed glare which soon melts into a grin when he sees that it was Taehyung who sat across from him. “Taehyung” Jungkook says as he watches the boy settle down. “Hi hyung! Hope I'm not disturbing you” Taehyung says shyly. “Oh never! I was just fighting for my life with this linear equation.” Jungkook groans, pointing to his textbook. Taehyung giggles at his response “Do you need some help, hyung?” he asks with lips pulled into an innocent smile. Jungkook looks at the boy in front of him dressed in pastel sweaters and hair brushed down with bangs softly falling over his forehead. The soft glow of the lights makes the blonde’s skin shimmer like gold and Jungkook finds himself getting lost in the beauty. The little upward tug of lips drives Jungkook's heart crazy.  “But it's class 12 math,” Jungkook says with a frown. “Well I ain't a nerd for no reason. Don’t worry, I take advanced math as my elective, I can help you” Taehyung says with a chuckle.   A pretty nerd, Jungkook wishes to correct the younger but he holds back his thoughts and accepts the help with a smile. For the next one hour Taehyung helps Jungkook with his arithmetic problems, occasionally creating problems for Jungkook's heart with the slight brushing of fingers as he explains an equation and the gentle glazes of those brown orbs as Jungkook talks. During their time together they often find themselves staring at each other with heart eyes and tender smiles. The tiny claps that Taehyung does everytime Jungkook gets the answer correct and the soft giggles that erupt when they mess up the answers bubbles a new feeling between them. It's warm and fresh like the first ray of sunlight on a spring morning.  “Well that was easier than I thought” Jungkook says as he closes his notebook. “I told you! You just have to understand how the formula works, then it's all easy peasy” Taehyung says with a casual shrug. “Easy peasy and math don’t go well with me” Jungkook says “but thanks to you” he flashes a grin at Taehyung. “No worries hyung. Let me know if you need my help again” Taehyung says. The next moment a silence engulfs the two as they stare at each other with soft smiles. Taehyung once again gets lost in those starry eyes while Jungkook slowly falls for the pretty nerd. No words are being spoken yet the attraction is very much conveyed through those stares. It's Taehyung who breaks contact first with a shy smile. It's all new- the warmth and the affectionate glances that make him believe that maybe Jungkook also feels the same for him. Unsure of how to navigate these new found feelings he casts his eyes down to his lap and fiddles with his sleeves. As he tries to process his feelings, he suddenly remembers about the jacket. His head shoots up and he looks at Jungkook with a sheepish smile “hyung I'm sorry I’ll return your jacket soon. I kept it for washing but forgot to do it” he says with a pout. Even though his tongue says that he will return it his mind very well knows that it's not going to happen anytime soon. “It's okay, Tae. take your time” Jungkook says. He couldn’t help but think back to that day when Taehyung was wearing his jacket. He hopes he can see the boy in his clothes one more time. ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────After their accidental meet up/ tutor session in the library, Taehyung and Jungkook happen to meet each other regularly, which is every single day. It's like either Jungkook accidentally stumbles on Taehyung during lunch and they end up spending the entire lunch together or Taehyung accidentally comes across Jungkook in the library which results in them having a trivia about each other. It happens so religiously that there isn’t a single day where they don’t meet each other. 
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

It was a rainy day and Taehyung's classes were getting over sooner than usual due to the unexpected weather. The teachers dismissed the classes halfway to ensure the kids reached their home soon and safely. Apparently the rain is about to get worse according to the forecast. So the moment the classes were dispersed the students as usual rushed to the gates pushing past each other in the joy of going back to their home. While everyone was sprinting out of the campus, Taehyung stood by the steps of his school building waiting for the rain to slow down. He looks at the students running past him, at times brushing past his figure, as they make their way amidst the rainfall. Some of them, instead of rushing out, are simply standing under the rain and enjoying the soft caress of the water over their skin. While some are playing with puddles of water, jumping over it and splashing the muddy water over their friends and themselves. 
 
Taehyung looks at them with a soft smile silently wishing he could also have fun like them. But he knows it's better if he doesn’t, because the moment he gets wet under the downpour his sinus is going to act up and cause him severe problems. Playing in the rain would then lead to days of painful headache and cold. It would take him at least three to four days to recover and the process itself is quite annoying. So it's better he stands afar and watches the beautiful rain cascade down to the ground. 
 
He slowly lowers himself on the last step of the staircase, the building’s roof reaching just above his head, shielding him from the rain. He could feel the drizzles of the rain fall over his feet, the tiny cold droplets covering the exposed part of his socks and seep through it to reach his skin. Freckles of goosebumps raise over his skin at the sudden contact. But nevertheless he enjoys it. The rain along with it carries a gust of wind that breezes between the droplets. Taehyung lets out a sigh, relaxing his figure under the caress of a zephyr. 
 
He slowly stretches his hand out palm facing the sky, the droplets of rain gather in the valley of his palm. Taehyung watches them slowly turn into a small puddle in his palm before throwing them upward and letting it splatter along with the rest of the droplets. He lets out a small giggle as he watches the water his hand splash around. He does this a few more times, letting himself enjoy the rain in his own ways. 
 
“Hey” Taehyung hears a voice, one that he is too accustomed with. Even without turning his head, Taehyung can tell who it is. 
 
“Hyung!” Taehyung turns back with a giddy smile on his face to greet Jungkook.
 
Jungkook gives him an equally cheerful smile, his front two teeth peeks out like a bunny’s smile. He walks down the staircase to the last step and stands next to where Taehyung is seated.
 
“What are you doing here?” Jungkook asks and looks around at the students walking past them. “Not going home?” he asks again, looking down at Taehyung who is sitting on the stairs.
 
“Nope” Taehyung says, stressing on the last syllable and shakes his head curtly. 
 
Jungkook lets out a faint chuckle before lowering himself in the spot right next to Taehyung's. He removes his bag from his shoulders and places it on the side as he turns to face Taehyung.
 
“Well what's the plan then?” Jungkook asks making Taehyung blush a little due their proximity.
 
Jungkook is sitting very close to him, their shoulders brushing against each other’s and Taehyung could feel the small warmth that radiates from the senior’s body over his. Taehyung quickly ducks his head, as the warmth spreads across his cheeks. He lets out a small giggle before looking back up at Jungkook, who all this time had his eyes on him.
 
“So, what’s the plan?” Jungkook asks again with a faint smirk on his face.
 
“Nothing gonna wait until the rain stops,” Taehyung says, avoiding Jungkook's gaze on him.
 
He hears Jungkook hum to his reply as the senior stretches his hand out feeling the rain over his skin. “Not a fan of rain huh?” Jungkook asks, retrieving his hand back and as he wipes them off on his pants.
 
“I love the rain but it makes me sick,” Taehyung says, staring at the rain.
 
Jungkook looks at him, a confused crease etched on his skin in between his eyebrows, not clearly getting the meaning of the younger’s words.
 
“I have sinusitis, so whenever I get drenched in rain I'm prone to headaches and colds. Trust me it's really really annoying,” he says with a loud sigh. His shoulders drop in defeat as he looks at Jungkook.
 
“Oh you have to be careful then. Wouldn't want a pretty boy falling sick right?” Jungkook says as he turns to wink at the younger.
 
Taehyung couldn’t help but bite the inside of his cheeks to stop himself from grinning like a fool at the senior’s words. Jungkook for sure knows how to flirt. This isn’t the first time he has called him pretty but that doesn't help with his racing heart nor the flush of pink on his cheeks. At the first instance Taehyung never took Jungkook to be such a big flirt but as they say, appearances  do deceive. And Taehyung was deceived. Over the past few weeks Jungkook has used all his chances to flirt with Taehyung. Either by his actions or words, Taehyung always finds himself a victim to Jungkook's flirting skills. He wondered if the senior had always been like this. If he is used to flirting with people all the time. Suddenly the thought leaves a bitter taste on his tongue. Jungkook can’t be flirting with others right? This side of Jungkook should only be reserved for Taehyung. Only Taehyung is allowed to be a victim to his flirt, no one else can. His mind is suddenly filled with sour clouds making him frown in jealousy.
 
“Does hyung say this to everyone?” Taehyung asks as he bores his gaze on Jungkook. If Jungkook fails to notice the pinch of irritation in the other’s voice then his eyes make it clear. 
 
“Say what?” Jungkook asks hesitantly as he notices the sudden change of the younger’s mood. The shy gazes now turn into something that is akin to a glare but a cute one at that. 
 
Taehyung doesn’t answer immediately, he maintains his gaze on the senior before he scoffs and turns away. “Whatever you said now” he says with a bite.
 
“What did I say?” Jungkook asks, which earns him a sharp glare from Taehyung.
 
“Right. It's your second nature to say such things that you don’t even remember saying it to me. Which answers my questions, you say this to everyone.”  Taehyung puffs out a sigh and folds his arms at his chest, as his lips contour into a small pout. He turns to face the other side, turning away from Jungkook.
 
Jungkook looks at Taehyung with absolute shock. What did he even say? Did he say something that offended Taehyung? Jungkook thinks. He looks at Taehyung who is busy sulking while facing the other side, refusing to see Jungkook. Jungkook unconsciously holds his breath afraid of having to mess up his chance with Taehyung. He gently places his hand on Taehyung's shoulder trying to get his attention. 
 
“Tae what happened? What is it about?” Jungkook asks.
 
Taehyung then sharply turns back to him with a sulky face and glare which is cuter than it is intended to be. “You just called me pretty,” he mumbles.

Jungkook looks at him wide-eyed before his lips break into a shy smile. He realises he wasn’t exactly subtle with his attempts at flirting. 
 
“Do you go around calling everyone pretty? That's not very nice of you hyung” Taehyung says through a pout as he fixes his eyes on the rain.
 
Jungkook for a moment freezes before it settles in him that Taehyung’s reaction is not because he said something wrong but because the younger is jealous. Interesting, he thinks. Unknown to him his lips break into a small smile and he immediately bites the corner of his lips to stop it from turning into a grin. 
 
He has indeed been flirting with Taehyung for the past few weeks and the younger though hesitant, always has a shy reaction to his advances. But today is the first time Jungkook gets to see this side of Taehyung. A grumpy jealous boy who huffs and puffs at your face as he assumes that you go around calling everyone as pretty. Silly Tae, Jungkook itches to kiss that pout away and ease the younger’s worries. He wants to tell him that no one except him is pretty in his eyes and that the endearment is reserved just for him. 
 
With a contoured smile he looks at Taehyung. “Looks like someone jealous,” Jungkook says with a hum, biting his lips to not let out the chuckle that bubbles in his throat. 
 
Taehyung’s demeanor flatters for a moment before he clears his throat and turns to look at Jungkook with a masked sternness. “I'm not jealous,” he says.
 
“I never said it was you Taehyungie” Jungkook says with a wide grin. Taehyung looks at the senior flashing his annoyingly beautiful grin and curses mentally for falling for his tricks. 
 
“Hyung is mean,” Taehyung whines with the same pout. 
 
“No,” Jungkook says with a gasp. Acting as if he is offended by the younger’s words. He watches the younger's pout deepen as he crosses his arms at his chest and glare at him.
 
Jungkook lets out a chuckle and leans to his side letting his shoulder brush against Taehyung's. “Well just to let you know, I don't go around calling everyone pretty. I only call those who I find really pretty and right now I only think there is one person who can be called that. Do you want to know who it is?” Jungkook asks leaning further into Taehyung’s side. 
 
Taehyung doesn’t reply instead he stares at the senior with wide eyes filled with meek glint. He is too stunned by their proximity to come up with anything bratty. He is left speechless as he stares at Jungkook's raven orbs that gazes at him closely. Taehyung , despite the cold breeze, feels a layer of warmth as Jungkook looks at him. He feels his throat dry up a bit and pushes down a dry gulp as he swallows hard. The apple of his throat bobs as the tip of his teeth nibbles over his bottom lips. 
 
Jungkook seemed to have caught up with Taehyung’s speechless state because the senior, without waiting for a reply, proceeded to toss his words around Taehyung’s heart, making it skip a beat as it fell a little bit more for Jungkook.  
 
“That person is right here in front of me sulking, thinking that i go around and flirt with every being on this campus,” Jungkook with an endeared smile. He then slowly pulls away from Taehyung and turns to face the rain. He rests his palms on his side and as he leans back he tilts his head to catch the sight of Taehyung blushing furiously. The deep pink slowly crawls onto his skin, coating his cheeks and the tips of his ears with its shade. It's beautiful, Taehyung looks beautiful. With the shy glances and playful smile the boy looks ethereal. Jungkook sometimes finds it difficult to believe that such a beauty happens to exist on earth and at times he finds himself questioning how lucky he is to have stumbled upon this gentle being. 
 
Jungkook got to know about the bullying and how Taehyung has been treated by Choi previously. The rage he felt that day was like never before and he almost broke Choi's face when he confronted him. If not for his friends holding him back that day he is sure that he would have hurt him for troubling Taehyung. That day he left Choi with a very strong warning to never again even breathe in Taehyung's way or else Jungkook would make sure he regrets it for the rest of his life. After that day Jungkook didn’t see Choi bothering Taehyung. 
 
Happiness suits Taehyung and Jungkook wants to be the one to put that smile on his face. He wishes Taehyung would let him do that for the rest of his life. 
 
“Should we get going?” Jungkook asks.
 
“But it's still raining,” Taehyung says, as he looks at the looming grey clouds in the sky.
 
“Then let me take you home,” Jungkook says as he pulls out an umbrella from his bag. “I will protect you” he says as he playfully swings the umbrella like a sword.
 
“Then… I guess I need your protection,” Taehyung says as he stands up and reaches his hand out for Jungkook. 
 
“Lets go, hyung,” Taehyung says as Jungkook grabs his hands and raises himself from the stairs.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
With the daily meet ups and getting to know each other a little more everyday the initial attraction has transformed into an affection that is so close to blooming into a love. There are flirtatious glances, caring touches, and loving words exchanged between them. It is clear that they both like each other and that they are just waiting for the right moment to confess. It's almost been a month since Taehyung met Jungkook and to say his life has never been any better would not be a lie. It's like his life took a drastic shift and for once all the good things are blessed upon him. Jungkook came in like sunshine and changed his life for good. Now he cannot imagine one without him. It's so strange how attached Taehyung has grown to the senior in the span of just a month. He has too much trust, too much care and too much love for Jungkook. It's almost like he is obsessed with the elder and his attention. Taehyung doesn’t know if it's a good or a bad thing and he doesn’t contemplate it, because for now he has all of Jungkook's attention and care and he is loving it. It's on a Friday evening, that Taehyung and Jungkook decided to meet outside the school for the first time. The winds of early December breezes through Taehyung's hair making him shudder a little due to its coldness. It's clear that any remaining warmth in the air had given away to prepare for the winter ahead.  Taehyung enters the cafe, where they agreed to meet. The cafe isn’t anything extravagant, rather it's simple and cozy, radiating a home-like vibe. The interior mainly consists of wooden decors with coir frames and the furniture are also of subtle whites and browns. Taehyung looks around before settling on a corner table as he waits for Jungkook. Jungkook jogs through the streets as he comes to stand before the cafe. As he spent hours on finding the perfect costume he didn’t realise that he was getting late. So at the end he grabbed whatever was available and ran down the streets to reach the place on time. Now standing before the cafe he checks the time on his watch and much to his disappointment he was 10 minutes late. With heavy pants escaping his mouth he let out a sound of disappointment. He was 10 minutes late for his first date with Taehyung. That is if you consider- Jungkook asking Taehyung to accompany him to a nearby cafe to try their new cake menu and Taehyung agreeing to it-, as a date, then it's a date. In Jungkook's mind it's a date because it's the first time they will be meeting outside the school.  His heart races a bit faster as he reminisces about the past month he spent with Taehyung. The shared lunches, the not so accidental library meetups, impromptu study sessions and the little time they spend after the school hours before parting ways has become something that Jungkook started looking forward to in his day. Jungkook often lost himself in Taehyung’s giggles and revived when those brown orbs stared at him as if he was the sun that shone on his blue sky. It wasn’t hard to realise that he was falling harder for the boy in pastel sweaters and chocolate eyes. Jungkook who took his steps with caution to never stumble in his life was now falling hard and fast for Taehyung and it felt like his second nature to fall for the boy who is carving his space in Jungkook’s heart.  Jungkook stepped inside the cafe and the very next moment, as if his eyes were magnetic to Taehyung’s presence, he spotted Taehyung sitting at one of the tables. Taehyung is wearing a baby blue satin shirt that is loosely tucked into his black jeans. The sight was heaven on earth. The blonde hair serving as a halo to Taehyung's figure and his glorious features makes Jungkook believe that indeed Taehyung must be the reincarnation of Lucifer, the most beautiful fallen angel of heaven. Because nothing else reasons with his ungodly beauty. Not just by looks but Taehyung as a person is also angelic and Jungkook thanks the heavens for sending Taehyung to him.  With quick strides he stands before Taehyung.  “Hyung! You are here, "Taehyung says with eyes glowing in excitement. “Of course,” Jungkook says, trying to play it off coolly but oh boy, only does he know that his heart might jump out of its cage any moment. Taehyung looks at him with a shift in his demeanour, his puppy eyes peek out and face morphs into an innocent expression. And Jungkook knows exactly what is going to spill out of the blonde’s mouth. He has seen it, heard it before- almost everyday. He knows what comes after this innocent expression, he knows what this angel of his is up to. So he leans back on his chair with arms folded at his chest as he looks back at his angel with a teasing smirk.  “Hyung…” Taehyung begins with those innocent eyes staring straight at Jungkook's heart. “I- I….” as he fiddles with his fingers Jungkook finishes his words. “Did you forget my jacket….. Again?” Jungkook says, trying so hard to control his smile as he watches Taehyung’s eyes go wide on getting caught.  Jungkook loves this adorable look on Taehyung's face. He would give anything to him, if he were to ask for his heart he would carve it out of his chest and give it to the blonde, what is a mere jacket? But before he gives into those chocolate brown orbs, he likes to tease a little. He schools his expression to a serious one and says “hmm let’s see what is it now? Did you put it to wash again? Or did you misplace it on your mother’s shelf? Or did you forget it on your table? Or oh! Did you forget to fold it properly? Or……. is this little angel turning into a jacket thief? Jungkook sports a teasing grin as he looks at Taehyung’s flushed state. He purposefully slips in the nickname just to pull out this exact reaction out of the blonde. But soon Taehyung goes from a flushed face to playful smile “maybe i'm not the innocent angel you think…. Maybe  I'm a jacket thief disguised as an angel. I lure handsome seniors and steal their jackets,” Taehyung says and lets out an infectious giggle at the  end. “You know other seniors?” Jungkook asks, raising his eyebrows. Taehyung scoffs at the reply. How did he fall for such an oblivious guy? If Jungkook is going to be oblivious then maybe it's time Taehyung takes matters on his own. “Well…. I know one and let me tell you something about him. He is a bit of an idiot, an oblivious one at that. I'm an exclusive thief and I steal only from him” he says. Jungkook stares at him for a minute as if processing his words and then lets out a loud gasp “did you just call me an idiot?” he pouts and sinks down on his chair, sulking like a child.  Taehyung lets out a hearty laughter looking at Jungkook's cute antics “oh no! Did i?” he says as laughter bubbles in his throat. Jungkook rolls his eyes and leans forward “well as long as it's an exclusive theft, I don’t mind” he says and Taehyung’s laugh freezes and is replaced by a shy smile. “And do you know what else you stole?” Jungkook asks with a sneaky smile as he slowly reaches out to hold Taehyung's hand. “What?” Taehyung whispers as if caught in a trance. Jungkook slowly tugs Taehyung and drags his hand to his chest. He gently lets Taehyung’s fingers rest over his chest, right above where his heart lies. “Something that belonged to me, something that no longer belongs to me, something that you possessed from the moment we met, something that I’m willing to give you” Jungkook looks at Taehyung and with a warm smile he asks “Taehyung are you willing to take it when I give it to you?” A beautiful smile blooms in Taehyung's face as he understands the meaning behind Jungkook's words. Is Jungkook finally asking him out? Taehyung’s heart skips a beat in happiness and he looks at those starry eyes and how each of those stars shine for him, sincerely. He gently presses his fingers that lay on top of Jungkook's chest. “If it already belongs to me, then how could I not take it hyung?” He whispers, letting each word out like a vow. As if he is vowing to keep the other’s heart safe and pledge it with his own heart in return.  The moment engulfed with unsaid confession lingering in the air gets broken when the waiter comes in to take their order. Taehyung retrieves his hand shyly and Jungkook clears his throat to brush off the embarrassment.  Once the waiter leaves a comfortable silence settles between the two. Taehyung looks at the street through the window while Jungkook looks at Taehyung. When Taehyung turns back he is met with the warm stares of the senior which renders a soft smile on his face.  “Hyung, are you free on the 10th?” Taehyung asks as he sips into his hot chocolate. “Day after tomorrow? Yeah I’m free” “It's my birthday and we have a small celebration at home. Do you wanna come?” Taehyung asks with eyes pleading him to say yes.  “Do you want me to come?” Jungkook asks as his eyes glint with sheer happiness.  “Yes,” Taehyung whispers loud enough for the senior to hear. “I’ll be there” Jungkook whispers back his promises to Taehyung. They spend some more time in the cafe talking about everything and anything except for the confession that was left lingering in the air. Although it was done on purpose.  When they leave the cafe it is with the unspoken promise of confessing to each other the next time they meet.───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
10th December, 2014
Taehyung stands at his door, eyes set on the streets awaiting Jungkook's arrival. After their meet up in the cafe Taehyung didn't get a chance to see Jungkook again. He took a leave from school the next day and today Jungkook was absent. But nevertheless Taehyung waits for Jungkook because Jungkook did promise to come for his birthday. To be honest Taehyung did expect the day to begin with Jungkook showering him with wishes and maybe surprising him with some sweet gestures but when he found that Jungkook was absent his heart did frown a bit in hurt. He convinced himself that maybe it was all a plan. To not see Taehyung until it's time for the party and then surprise him at the party, maybe that was Jungkook’s plan. Taehyung kept reasoning with this idea for the entire day to not let himself be affected by Jungkook's absence.  But now standing before his house waiting to see if Jungkook would come, shatters all his reasons bit by bit. His entire family and jimin are inside waiting for Taehyung to come and cut the cake while Taehyung excused himself outside to wait for Jungkook. With his fingers crossed he stands there letting the cold wind brush through his figure, numbing skin.  Time passes but there is no sign of Jungkook. He can’t feel his own skin with how the cold has freezed his sensation except for the pain of his breaking heart. His eyes burn not because of the cold but because of the pent up hurt. He looks into the street one last time before his heart breaks completely. Jungkook is not coming, as the realisation sets in, he feels his throat tighten and eyes well up with tears.  He was going to confess to him today.  He was going to tell him those three words. He was going to promise a forever to him today. But Jungkook broke everything. He did not show up as he promised. Was this all a game for the senior? Did he not really like Taehyung? Or is this one of those sick pranks that the bullies played on him? The more he thinks the worst his thoughts are. Was everything said and shared between them a pretense? A pretense that Taehyung so badly fell for?  Taehyung feels hurt, confused and angered at how Jungkook broke the promise. He watches the evening slip into night and it settles in him that Jungkook will no longer come. Just as he is about to turn back, he feels the soft tender fall of the snow. He looks up at the sky and finds the sky showering down the flaky ice. The first snow.  It's the first snow of the year and if only Jungkook was here with him they would have witnessed it together.  As he watches the snow fall, the first tear slips through his eyes followed by a sob that rips through his throat. Crouching down under the snow, Taehyung shivers as he cries. He lets out all the pent up emotions through his tears and when he is left with no more tears the pain comes back. Maybe this was Jungkook's gift to him. A birthday gift that he would never forget. ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────When Taehyung enters the school the next day, he is prepared. Prepared for all the laughs and mocks that are to be thrown on him. Afterall it was a joke right? And he was the joker. He is prepared for all the insults and mocking comments that the students have for him. For believing like a fool that The Jeon Jungkook would ever like him. Even though he has thought about all possible scenarios and made up his mind to face them, there is one thing that he thinks he cannot handle. He doesn’t think he is strong enough to handle if Jungkook were to ever come to his face and laugh at him for believing the stupid prank.  Although a smaller part of his brain says that maybe Jungkook got held up yesterday and didn’t really mean to break his promise. Maybe he will show up today and apologise for yesterday. But the negatives weigh more than the positives in his brain. So caught up in his mind Taehyung doesn’t see the person standing in front of him and accidentally bumps into the figure. “What the fuck!” the person in front of him groans and turns around. Choi. Taehyung stumbles back a little when he sees that the person he bumped into was none other than Choi. he mentally curses himself for falling into his own trap, now he is doomed. He closes his eyes tightly, waiting for the worst.  “Kim, watch where you go” Choi says in a highly annoyed tone and then turns back to his friends Taehyung opens his eyes and looks at him bewildered. That's it? He watches Choi ignore him and talk to his friends. Taehyung stands there a bit dumbfounded by what just happened. Noticing Taehyung’s presence Choi once again looks at him with a questioning gaze. “What?”  Taehyung shakes his head and with quick steps he walks away. He looks around to see if the students are staring at him but to his surprise no one does. Everyone seems to mind their own business and no one looks his way. With confusion etched in his mind he walks into the classroom. Once seated at his desk next to Jimin, he drops his head on the table with a loud sigh.  “What happened?” Jimin asks. Jimin has been worried about him since yesterday. His best friend couldn’t understand what really happened with Jungkook. Yet he was there with him the whole evening letting Taehyung cry in his embrace without asking him any questions.  “Is it about Jungkook?” Jimin tries again which only earns him another loud sad sigh from Taehyung.   Jimin sinks back in his seat, understanding that Taehyung needs some space. He hasn’t seen Taehyung so sad and dejected ever, especially for the past one month. Ever since Taehyung became friends with Jungkook he got to see a different version of his best friend. This version of Taehyung was happy, smiling, cheerful and always giggling. He has smiled a lot, laughed a lot and sometimes even blushed a lot because of the senior. Though it looked like they had something more than a friendship between them, Jimin didn’t comment on it. Because he liked seeing Taehyung happy like never before. But now looking at Taehyung with this sadness doomed on him he doesn’t know what to do. He hopes for things to get back to normal soon.───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────When the lunch break fell upon them, Taehyung went to the cafeteria with the same thoughts running in his head. He knows he will have to face Jungkook and there is no escape. But he is scared. When he entered the cafeteria his eyes automatically fell on the table where Jungkook usually sits with his friends. His eyes stay there longer than required to see if the senior is present but to his surprise, Jungkook was not there. When he noticed the senior’s absence he felt a spur of irritation igniting in him. His eyes once again pricked with tears but his heart was so hurt that he felt himself becoming annoyed with it.  With teary eyes he strides towards the table where Jungkook's friends are seated. “Where is Jungkook?” he asks, startling everyone on that table.  The group of seniors look at each other and then at him before they speak. “Uhm….. he is absent” a silver haired guy says. “Why?” Taehyung knows his words might sound rude but right now he doesn’t have the patience. “Don’t know. Go and ask him if you want” the silver head says with a click of his tongue expressing his irritation. “Okay. Do you know his address?” Taehyung doesn’t know what came over him. Maybe it's the hurt or the tears that are about to fall off his waterline that is making him impatient. “Annoying” the silver head murmurs before telling him the address. “Thanks” Taehyung murmurs before going back to his table. He will wait for another day and if Jungkook doesn’t reach out then Taehyung will. ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────Two more days pass by with no sign of Jungkook. Now the hurt in Taehyung has morphed into worry. He is getting more impatient and worried as days pass and not knowing where Jungkook is doesn’t help with his anxiety. He can’t stop thinking about the senior with starry eyes and warm smile. He can’t help but think about all the time they spent together, all the words they exchanged and all the promises they whispered. He can’t help but think about their time together in the cafe where they almost confessed. He can’t stop thinking that they were almost a couple and they were an unfortunate case of too many almost. All these thoughts keep him cold and awake making his heart weight a little more everyday with the hurt and worry. He is scared to lose Jungkook. He is scared to think about his life without Jungkook and most importantly he is scared to lose himself in Jungkook's absence.  So today he decided to visit Jungkook at his house. He followed the address that the silver haired senior gave and with a short walk from his school he reached. It was a very secluded area, one that Taehyung didn’t know existed. At the end of the street was a three story mansion, which was said to be Jungkook's house. He didn’t know Jungkook came from a wealthy family, the senior was always grounded and simple.  With hesitant steps he walked to the gate and pressed on the electric bell attached to the wall. He waited for a few minutes and rang the bell again. After which the gate opened revealing a middle aged watchman behind it. “Hey! What do you want” the man dressed in full black and armed with a baton asks him.’’ “I'm Taehyung. Jungkook’s friend from school. Can I meet him?” Taehyung replies with his heart in his throat. The man before him is twice his size and has an intimidating aura that Taehyung can’t help but cower under his gaze. The man looks at him and sighs “listen kid, no one lives here anymore. Jungkook and his family have vacated and they are not here. Go back” the man says and without waiting for any response he closes the gate. Behind the closed gates Taehyung stands still letting the guard’s words process in his mind. Jungkook left, the thought rings in his mind until the realisation sets in him that he would no longer be able to see Jungkook. But then again where did Jungkook go? Taehyung steps forward and rings the bell again and when no one answers he bangs on the gate with his fist. He needs answers, he needs Jungkook. He can’t leave without knowing where Jungkook is. So he stands there banging the gate until his palms turn red and pain seeps in. when he feels the exhaustion, his hands drop to his sides and feet stumble a little. He squats down with his face buried in his palms as the first cry rips through him.  He cries and cries until he no longer can. Where did Jungkook go? What happened to him? Is he okay? All the questions bombard him and all he can do is cry. When  he reaches home late in the evening, Taehyung is at the verge of an anxiety attack. His hands and feet are freezing cold and tremble like a leaf while his mind feels like a mess. He isn’t able to comprehend his surroundings. He doesn’t hear the concerned voices of his parents, he doesn’t feel his mother’s touch and he doesn’t see his father’s worried gaze. All he sees is a blurry image of those starry eyes and a voice that echoes a single question in his mind.  
What happened to Jungkook?
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

September 2024
Seoul- the heart of the country, a home to many but not to Taehyung. Seoul gave and took so much from him, that he no longer wants to associate with this place. Although his therapist says it is the people and not the place that haunts you, Taehyung will have to disagree. Because even though the city has changed, Taehyung could still see the ghost of his memories every time he walks down a familiar street.  Seoul was once a metonym to happiness. That was, when he played in the park with his parents when he was a kid. When he met his best friend Jimin in school. When he met Jungkook and fell in love with the senior. Those were the happy times.  But the Seoul now is nothing but an abyss of miseries for him. Because the same place destroyed all of his happiness. It first took Jungkook from him and then his parents. Everything still feels like a fever dream because one day he was happy and in love with Jungkook and the next day his happiness was snatched. Jungkook disappeared like he never existed and till today Taehyung doesn’t know where he is. The initial years following the senior’s disappearance were horrible, not just for him but for people around him too. Because back then Taehyung almost lost his mind and was always on the edge of an anxiety attack. He never felt rested in those years.  His grades were dropping and his health was deteriorating. He isolated himself from everyone, barely spoke, barely ate and barely lived. It was self destructive and nobody knew how to help him.  But then it all climaxed when his parents died. An unfortunate car accident on one of the main roads of Seoul took his parents away from him. He was left alone with no one by his side. There were times when Taehyung decided to end his misery on his own, because he didn’t see the purpose of living in a world where everything hurt and everything haunted.  If not for his uncle, Taehyung wouldn’t be seeing the daylights today. His mother’s brother took him under his care and helped him get better even when Taehyung refused his help. He is eternally grateful to his uncle, who had taken the role of his parents and helped him see the light at the end of the tunnel. His uncle enrolled him with his therapist, helped him graduate and helped Taehyung to stand on his own leg once again. The once helpless boy has now grown up into an independent adult only because of his uncle.  For Taehyung, Seoul was a trap. A trap into which he fell on his own and a trap where he was lost for the most of his life. The city was haunted by memories which are too painful to even think about. Taehyung had spent years in this trap trying to get better and stop himself from getting hurt from the ghost of his memories.  Even though he had overcome the hardest parts of it, sometimes in the back of his mind the ghosts still lurked around. But as his therapist said, healing takes time and it's okay to feel hurt in the process.  It's been 10 years now and Taehyung thinks it's time he moves away from this trap. It was indeed his uncle’s suggestion to move away from this place and start somewhere afresh.  “Are you sure you can be alone here?” Taehyung asks his uncle, Yoongchae “Yeah! And maybe it is finally my time to find a girlfriend” his uncle says with a playful smirk on his face. Taehyung laughs “sure sure, samchon”  Taehyung says as he folds his clothes to arrange them in the suitcase. “It's not like you can’t find someone in Daegu” Taehyung mumbles with a pout “I’ll miss you samchon” “I’ll miss you too kid but you know I can’t leave my business here. And Daegu is just 4 hours from here. I can always come to visit you during the weekends” Yoongchae says as he walks to Taehyung. He gently places a hand on his nephew’s shoulder “It’s for your well being tae” he says which earns him a soft nod from Taehyung.───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────Once Taehyung has loaded his bags in the car he comes to stand before his uncle and Jimin to bid his goodbye. Jimin is quite emotional because of his departure but knowing everything he is just happy for his best friend.  “Remember to call me once you reach there and update me everyday” Jimin says with a wavering voice. Taehyung simply smiles at him and pulls him in for a hug “I will Min” he says and when he pulls back from the hug he can’t help but feel the wetness of his eyes dampening his cheeks. Jimin has been with him through the thicks and thins of his life. Taehyung is grateful to Jimin for sticking with him through all these years. “Thank you for always being there. I’ll miss you so much, Min” Taehyung says. “You idiot! That’s why I said I’l come with you to Daegu” Jimin almost cries. “You know it's not too late, I can still join you,” Jimin says. “I know but I don't want you to. I need to do this on my own but hey you are free to visit me, i’m not gonna stop you” Taehyung says with a chuckle. “Well then don’t complain if you get to see my face more often then” Jimin says which leaves the duo laughing loudly. “Boys it's time to go,” Yoongchae says to which Jimin whines loudly. Taehyung then goes to hug his uncle who holds him tight is his arms and says “take care and don’t forget I’m just a call away” Taehyung wordlessly nods. After another round of hugs and goodbyes, Taehyung gets into the car. With one last glance at his uncle and Jimin, he leaves.───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────Taehyung rolls down the windows when the driver announces that they have hit the outskirts. The fresh air, unlike the one in the city, brushes over his face ruffling his hair on its way. He leans against the window frame and lets his face bathe in the fresh breeze. The city air was always suffocating, stuffed with dirt and pollution, it never felt lighter. Breathing in there was a chore.  But this feels different- the air, the lightness in it, the way it grazes over his skin like a soft caress, and how breathing it in doesn’t feel difficult.  Maybe just like the air, life outside of the city would be easy too- simple and breathable. He desperately hopes that this new chapter of his life is less painful and easy on him. ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────The sun is still up when he reaches Daegu. The drive wasn’t very long, just a 4 hour ride like his uncle said but Taehyung is tired. It's been a very tiring trip- physically and emotionally, for him. So when the driver drops him in his new house, he immediately drags his bags inside after sending off the driver and heads to the nearest room to take a nap. He postpones the house tour to later for when he wakes up from his nap.  It's an individual house with a small garden in the front. The house is located away from the main city. Taehyung preferred this to the ones in the main city because honestly he is too tired of living with a bustling population. He likes it here, it's calm and peaceful. The neighbourhood isn’t brimming with houses, rather there’s barely any house in the surrounding except for the one house next to his. The rest of the land is either barren or filled with some crops. Taehyung likes it, the calmness keeps his nervous system at peace.  He lets out a sigh as he drops his bag in the room near the kitchen, there is another room on the other side of the living room. Taehyung thinks he can use it as his studio, he plans to check the lighting in the rooms later and then decide. But for now he needs to sleep, everything else can wait. He quickly sends a message to his uncle and Jimin, letting them know that he reached Daegu and then drifts off to sleep. ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────It's after the sun has set and the moon has taken over the blue sky that Taehyung wakes up. He wakes up to his phone pinging with message after message. With his eyes closed he reaches out to mute his phone, to save himself from a headache. He then twists and turns on the bed for a few more minutes, giving his body the time to fully wake up. Once he is fully conscious , he gets up from the bed and reaches out for his phone.  There are few messages and missed calls from Jimin. Taehyung frowns, that’s weird. He ignores the messages and goes to call Jimin. And Jimin picks up the call in just two rings. “Hello,” Taehyung says, a bit surprised at how quickly his call was answered. “Hey Tae,” Jimin says and Taehyung can sense the tension in his voice. “Is everything alright?” Taehyung can’t help but question it. Jimin’s voice and the number of unread messages in his phone makes him question if everything is alright there. “Yeah… yeah all good,” Jimin says apprehensively. Taehyung doesn’t buy it. Something is very wrong but he can’t tell what it is. Taehyung feels a small headache build in the back of his head. It hasn’t even been a day since he left Seoul, yet now something is wrong. Before he could prey more into it Jimin interrupts.  “How is it there?” a clear method to deviate the tension. “I'm fine. Took a nap and just woke up,” Taehyung says as he brings the palm of his hand to rub over his nape. He feels a bit of stiffness over that part, maybe it's the pillow.  “Oh good…. Good, good,” Jimin says, making Taehyung frown. Now that is totally weird. That reply was truly out of Jimin’s style.  “Jimin,” Taehyung says a bit sternly. “What happened? Are you okay?” he asks. The line falls silent for a moment before Taehyung speaks again, “Jimin?” he calls out to see if his friend is still on call. “Yeah” a whisper comes from Jimin's side. “All good Tae” Jimin says but Taehyung still isn’t convinced. His friend is never one to be so hesitant and silent on a call, Jimin is always full of life… “Min, what’s wrong?” Taehyung asks, this time his voice is a bit gentle yet firm. Making it clear that he knows Jimin isn’t telling the truth.  “Tae… it’s nothing” Jimin says, he surely tries his best but it isn’t enough to convince Taehyung. Taehyung doesn’t reply, waiting for Jimin to speak up again. “I.. I don’t know how to say it” Jimin's faint voice falls through the speakers. Taehyung lets out a sigh “Just say it Min. whatever it is, just say it” he says as gently as he can. Taehyung feels his anxiety building up, his mind is just a few seconds away from coming up with tons of scenarios to make him worry.  “It’s just that there is some news going around the city” Jimin pauses for what seems like a breath. “In the early hours of this morning, the police found a car fully burnt near the city bridge. It is said that the driver was overspeeding and the car crashed near the bridge causing the accident”  “Oh,” Taehyung says. The thought of accidents brings back his ghost of memories. It's a hard topic to talk about because he is also a victim of one such accident. It's sad knowing the news. But he doesn’t really get what’s in there that’s making Jimin worry. “What happened to the driver?” Taehyung asks. “The driver died,” Jimin says.  “Oh” Taehyung doesn’t know what else to say to that. It's another difficult thing to talk about. He can’t help but imagine how miserable the driver’s family must feel at the moment. It must be a pain beyond death. Because it's always the ones who live that have to carry the pain of their loved ones passing away. People who die experience the pain once but people who live after them are scarred for life.  But then again why is Jimin telling him this?? “What else?” Taehyung asks, not really getting where this conversation is headed. “Taehyung…. Shit this is more difficult than i thought” Jimin mutters.  “Taehyung please don’t freak out” Jimin says and Taehyung frowns harder, why would he freak out? “Taehyung the driver was Jungkook…..” As soon as he hears that name, there is a loud ringing sound that pierces Taehyung's ears. He doesn’t hear any of the words that follow. His mind goes blank and he keeps on staring at a random part of the wall opposite to his bed, what did Jimin say? Jungkook? His eyes widen and heart sinks to his stomach. “What? What did you just say?” Taehyung shouts into the speaker. What the hell did Jimin just say?  “Taehyung, I told you to not freak out,” Jimin cries out on the other end of the line.  Taehyung doesn’t care, what did Jimin even say? He must have heard it wrong, right? Because how did Jungkook's name come into this conversation out of nowhere?  “What the hell did you say Min?” he asks frustratedly. His hands shake violently, and he barely stops the phone from slipping out of his hands twice… “Taehyung, the one who was driving that car, was Jungkook. The police and his father confirmed it. I saw it in the news. The footage even shows Jungkook's father identifying the remains of the car.” Jimin goes silent after his explanation . It can’t be true…it can’t be… Taehyung feels like he is in one of his nightmares again. He pinches himself to try waking up from this horrendous nightmare. This has to be a nightmare…yes! A nightmare, he is still asleep, he needs to wake up. He needs to wake up right now!. When he wakes up all of this will be proved wrong. He needs to wake up. He needs to.  He goes to slap his face but stops when he hears Jimin's voice ring through the phone again and he realises that it isn’t a nightmare but a reality. His nightmare has turned into his reality. “Taehyung, please say something” he hears Jimin's sniffle. What is he supposed to say? “Do you mean Jungkook……our school senior? The one I… my Jungkook? Jimin if this is a prank I swear I will stop talking to you” incoherent words slip from his mouth. He isn’t able to process anything. The shaking of his hands has now transferred to his body. He can’t handle this. His very being is rattled from the inside. Jungkook can’t be dead.  This is a prank, a joke. Or maybe the police got it all wrong. Jungkook can’t be dead, he just can’t. He is not allowed to die. This is impossible.

“Yes” Jimin whispers but Taehyung hears it loud and clear.  “It could be some other Jungkook,” Taehyung says, not ready to accept what his best friend has just told him.. “Even I thought so, until I saw the news footage. It had an image of Jungkook's father at the spot of his accident. It’s really him, I’m so sorry Tae, I know how you felt about him.” “But how…” Taehyung chokes out the words out of his mouth, breathing is a task at the moment and he feels the familiar burn in the back of his eyes.  “I don’t know Tae. They didn’t mention any other details” Jimin tells him,  but Taehyung doesn’t really listen to him. None of the words get to his head. The first news he gets about Jungkook in 10 years is of his death? No. it can’t be. Jungkook cannot be dead. He is not allowed to! Maybe Jimin mistook someone else for Jungkook. Jimin can’t remember Jungkook like Taehyung does so it's possible that someone who looked like Jungkook died and Jimin misunderstood. There is no way Jungkook died. Taehyung will see it for himself. He quickly hangs up the call with Jimin and opens the news app on his phone. Hr scrolls through the home page with trembling fingers, trying to find any article about the accident that Jimin had mentioned. He moves past the first few posts and then on the sixth post he finds it. And he feels his world closing in. 
‘An unfortunate accident on Jongo road- Kills 1’ 
 No no no no no. None of this is real. This can’t be. This is not his Jungkook. He will not believe that. Never. Jungkook cannot go, he can’t leave Taehyung like that. Taehyung stares at the post , as it hovers over the screen. He feels his heart beat against his chest, he is scared to open the news. What if Jimin was right? The question stops him from clicking on the post.  
Jungkook is not dead, Jungkook is not dead, Jungkook is not dead, Jungkook is- he can’t be.
 His finger clicks on the post and as it enlarges on his phone screen he sees it. “Jeon Jungkook (28) found dead in an accident near the Jongo road…” 
Dead.

Jeon Jungkook…found dead
 The phone falls from his hold and hits the floor with a loud thud. Tears cascade down his face as the news sinks in his head. Jungkook is dead.  “NO!” a scream rips out of his throat. Taehyung clutches onto his chest, as if it physically pains him. He leans forward, putting his entire weight on his thighs and drops his head down over his knees. It feels like someone has cut open his chest and pulled out his heart with their bare hands.  “NO!” “Jungkook!” he screams again and again. Hoping his voice reaches the senior and brings him back to life. He cries and screams, his voice echoing in the bare walls of his new house. He rocks back and forth on the bed, this is not real, it is not real, no he cannot accept a reality where Jungkook is not there… All these years Taehyung believed that Jungkook was somewhere in the world living his life and that belief brought ease to his mind. But now Jungkook is no more. Jungkook was not here anymore,  and Taehyung had lost his last chance to see the man he fell in love with in high school but never grew out of.  Jungkook was right there in Seoul when Taehyung decided to leave. Jungkook was right there in one of the adjacent roads dying when Taehyung rolled out of the city. Taehyung had a chance to meet him. Taehyung had a chance to meet him for one last time. But he didn’t. They have always been an unfortunate case of too many almosts.  Like some sick joke of fate, Taehyung once again lost Jungkook and this time it was for life. He reaches out to grab his phone from the floor, wiping off his tears as he looks at the screen once again. The headline glares at him. He slowly scrolls down the page, holding back his breath. As he scrolls down he sees the picture of the accident, a car crushed from the front and looking at it he realises there is no way a person came out alive. The entire front portion of the car was compressed by the hit and the car was half burnt. Tears fill in his eyes as he stares at it. He can’t help but wonder how much pain Jungkook would have been in before giving up. His throat clogs and he feels his breath stuck in his lungs.  As he scrolls down further he finds another image titled ‘victim’ and there he sees him. The boy who came into his life like a saviour. The boy who painted Taehyung's dull days with his colour. The boy who protected Taehyung. The boy who swept him off his feet at the first glance. The boy who Taehyung fell for before he knew. The boy to whom Taehyung lost his heart. The boy who promised to give his heart. The boy who broke his promise. The one person whom Taehyung yearned to see in all these years. And now he sees him. The boy who had grown into a fine man, he sees him and those soft features all matured and the round black orbs being the only same thing, stares at him right through the screen. The man in the picture is his Jungkook, the one he yearned to see but not like this. He didn’t want to see him like this.  Taehyung had too many dreams of the day when would finally get to meet Jungkook again. But none of them prepared for this. Not one of his thoughts warned him about this. He wanted to see the man in person- in flesh and blood. He wanted to grab the man’s collar and ask him for answers. He wanted to shout on his face for leaving him. He wanted to cry in his arms for how he worried him. He wanted to be embraced in a hug by the man. He wanted to tell him how much he missed him. He wanted to hear the man say that he missed him. He wanted everything and anything from the man but not this. He had one wish- to see Jungkook, the man he fell in love with. But when has the universe been kind to him? And now his years of waiting come to an end as he sees him. As he sees Jeon Jungkook through the screen as he reads the news of his death. If he knew this is how he will get to see Jungkook again, then he would have never wished for it. He would have never let the stars hear how he missed him and how much he wanted to see him. He would have never let the moon witness his cries to bring Jungkook back to him. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want to see Jungkook like this. How sinned must he be for the universe to pull this upon him? Was loving him a sin? Was wanting to see the man who left him without a word a sin? Taehyung bends down to pick up his phone when he sees it buzzing with an incoming call. He stares at the screen through his teary gaze and sees that it's Jimin. He attends the call and puts the phone on speaker, barely having the energy to lift the device.  “Tae,”  a distressed Jimin, speaks through the phone. “Tae, you there?” Jimin speaks again when he doesn’t receive a reply.  Taehyung quietly hums, not finding the voice in him to speak up.  “Tae please be fine. I know this is hard but please-. You know what i’m coming there, you shouldn’t be alone right now. I’ll-” “Don’t. Don’t come here. I- i want to be alone. Please” Taehyung cuts him off with his request. “But tae-” “I’ll survive,” Taehyung says waveringly. He doesn’t know if he can. He doesn’t know if he wants to survive this. But to stop Jimin from coming here he lies. “Please let me be alone” Taehyung pleads not sure of how he sounds but hopes its desperate enough for Jimin to let him be alone. He hears a quiet sigh from the speaker “okay, okay. But promise me the moment it gets too much you should call me. Anytime anyday you should call me and I'll be there with you” “Okay” Taehyung breathes. After a few more minutes Taehyung hangs up the call. When the silence of his room engulfs him once again, the loss, regret and guilt everything rushes back to him. As if auto tuned his body moves on its own and Taehyung finds himself sitting on the floor in front of his suitcase. He reaches out to slowly unzip the luggage. He opens the case and his hands dig into the pile of clothes, as his heart searches for one piece.  He pulls out all of his clothes, scattering them out on the floor with much less care. He takes every single piece out until his eyes fall on the one piece of cloth that he was searching for. With a trembling hand he reaches out to grab it. He takes out the neatly folded black jacket from the suitcase. His vision blurs as his eyes brim with tears.  He tightly clutches onto the jacket like his life depended on it. He slowly brings it to his nose and inhales trying to trace the once prominent scent on the jacket. The scent is no longer there, just like the person. But Taehyung knows that it was once there, just like the person.  He looks at the jacket longingly, he wishes to see Jungkook one more time and he promises to give it back to him. Or at least that was his excuse to meet Jungkook right?  He pulls the jacket to his chest and holds it tightly, imagining the senior in his arms. Why did Jungkook break his promise again? “Why are you breaking me like this? Why are you doing this to me? Why did I have to get to know about you like this? I just wanted to see you. Was it too much to ask?” he whispers with tears as he clings to the jacket. “How can you leave me? You said it belongs to me, you said your heart belongs to me and how could you take it away from me like this?” he cries. “Why did you come into my life if you were to leave? Why… just why?” Taehyung cannot accept the fact that this is where everything ends. He cannot accept it. Jungkook still owes him answers, he still owes him his heart. He can still feel the promise lingering in the air but isn’t Jungkook here then? He then looks at the jacket with glazed eyes. His fingers come to gently caress the soft material. “Were you in pain?” Taehyung chokes on his own tears as he remembers the images of the accidents.  He falls forward with the jacket clutched between his arms and chest “did it hurt so much? Were you in pain? I'm sorry I didn't find you. I'm sorry I couldn't help you. I’m sorry-” his words get drowned in his sobs. His body jerks and shivers as he cries.  He cannot imagine the thought of Jungkook being in pain. No matter how much he had been hurt by the senior he could never once wish the same for the other. He cannot picture the reality of Jungkook being stuck in the crash. He just can’t.  “Why? Why!” Taehyung screams, he feels like throat is being ripped apart but unfortunately only a whisper of his voice comes out. He falls to his side, body curled up like a child on the floor as he hugs the jacket to his chest. With every passing second he feels his body going numb along with his mind and before he knows he is lulled into the darkness. ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
When Taehyung wakes up, the world outside has fallen deep into the night and the coldness has engulfed his room. The coldness from the floor is seeping into his skin but he couldn’t care about it. It was nothing compared to coldness that has his heart and mind frozen in a complete state of numbness. 
 
He slowly stretches out his limb, uncurling from the foetus position.  He rolls on his back and lays flat on the floor, face towards the ceiling. He stares at the white ceiling, eyes sunken and dull as he fixes his gaze on nothing but the whiteness. 
 
The earlier burn is still present at the back of his eyes, constantly reminding him that none of that was a dream. No matter how much he wished for it all to be a dream. For everything to go back to normal as he wakes up. No matter how much he prays for his mind to uncloud from the thoughts of Jungkook, he can’t. 
 
Because in reality Jungkook is dead. He has woken up in a world where Jungkook no longer exists. He has woken up in a world where he is left all alone. In a world where Jungkook has left him all alone. Didn’t the elder promise to come? Didn’t he promise to give his heart? Then why did he break it? If all the promises were made only to be broken then why make it in the first place. 
 
Disappearing from Taehyung's eyes is one thing but disappearing forever is another. No matter how much it hurt him, Taehyung would have preferred the first. He would have been fine if  Jungkook decided to never see Taehyung again but he cannot be fine with Jungkook being gone like this.
 
Now that he stares at the ceiling he realises he doesn’t even have a picture with the elder.

For so much love, said and unsaid, he has nothing to hold on to

. He is left with only the figment of memories he shared with the senior. A fresh tear rolls down his cheek as it settles in him that he would never be able to have a picture of Jungkook, ever again. 
 
Why is the universe merciless to him?

What was his sin?

And why is he punished like this?
 
He tilts his head to the side, his cheek rests on the icy cold floor. The cold contact has no effect on him. His mind is stuck at the thought of all the lost chances. 
 
His mind wanders to the depths of what ifs and how different things could have turned out. But no matter how many other ways this could have turned out, it doesn't change his reality.
 
He lost Jungkook.

Forever

.
 
The thought he can never see those starry eyes again in this lifetime creates an unsettling feeling in the pits of his heart. He cannot live like that. Something needs to be done. He needs to do something about it.
 
He stands up from the floor, planting his foot on the cold surface and  lets out a breath. Pushing back the tears that threaten to cloud his eyes, he slowly walks across the room. He turns on the lights. Illuminating the night lit room with dull hues of yellow. 
 
He picks up one of the storage boxes lying on the corner of the room. The box is labelled as art supplies. One thing that kept him alive all these years was art. They say every darkness gives you a hope to find the light and for Taehyung art was his hope. During the dark years of his life painting was the only way Taehyung could let out his emotions. 
 
If he was angry, he let the world hear him scream through his paintings. 
 
If he was sad, he let his tears roll down through his paintings.
 
If he was lost, he let the strokes of his brush guide him back home. 
 
If he was happy, he let the glimmers of his smile shine through his paintings.
 
If he was scared, he let the paint fumes cocoon him from the rest of the world..
 
Painting was the only way through which he could let his screams be heard. For the canvas was his heart and the paints were the bleeds from it. And right this moment when the voices inside his mind are too loud and when his heart is too numb to beat for the life in it,  all he could think of is painting. 
 
He sits on the floor and opens the box,  spilling out the contents inside the box over the floor, scattering the paints and brushes all over the place. He then takes out a canvas and places it on the floor before him. He looks at the colourful bottles of paint scattered around him red, blue, pink, green, yellow and so many more but his hands instinctively reach out for the black one.
 
He takes his palette in another hand as he begins to scoop out a generous amount of the black liquid from the bottle, using a palette knife he smears it over his palette. He picks up a brush and mixes the blackness until it turns smooth, the lumps and liquid mixed together. He stares at the smear of darkness for a whole minute before finally breaking down. A sob rips out of his throat as his fingers tightly curl around the brush. The pain returns replacing the numbness and he feels his heart beat against his skin.
 
Jungkook is dead.
 
And Taehyung has no means to hold onto the hope of seeing him someday in the future. Taehyung no longer has the means to find answers to his questions. He longer has the means to find a cure to his heart. 
 
He no longer has the strength to move on from this, from Jungkook.
 
The tears escape from his eyes and roll down his cheeks as they fall onto the palette blending in with the blackness. With blurry eyes and trembling fingers Taehyung lifts the brush picking up the paint from his palette and strikes the brush against the canvas for the first time that night. Painting the white surface with nothing but black.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Taehyung doesn’t know for how long he had sat there on the hard surface with the canvas and paints all around him. But now the floor is no longer cold and the light through the windows has outshone the amber ones in his room. 
 
The world outside is no longer dark. The sun has lightened up the dark sky as it paints it with its bright yellow-orange rays. Taehyung could feel its warmness slipping inside his room through the window sills. But no matter how warm it is, it isn’t enough to warm his frozen heart. 
 
He stares at the canvas, looking at the painting he spent his night on. What started as lazily strokes of black has now turned into the one thing Taehyung loves the most. The entire time Taehyung spent painting his solace. Over the years he has painted so many things but nothing compares to this.
 
For this was his love that he didn’t dare to think about.  Amidst the black paint covering the canvas there rests a face that Taehyung yearns to see one last time. There rests a face whose features are too strongly etched in his brain. A pair of eyes that held Taehyung's entire universe, a pair of brows that sometimes raised to tease him lovingly,  the lips that warmed his heart with its  simple tug. He ended up painting the siren of his heart, his Jungkook. 
 
At the end it was all his heart wanted to see. It was all that his heart needed to see. He painted those starlit eyes wishing to witness them shine one more time. He let his brush stroke against the canvas as his heart ached to run his fingers between the raven strands. He let his tears paint the upward tug of the lips as he brought life to the painting. A smile so beautiful that no one could ever replicate it with a mere stroke of paint. A face made with stardust and galaxies could never be recreated with a mere brush. But Taehyung tried his best because he needed something to look at when he missed the elder. He needed something to remind him that those memories were real. That Jungkook was real and he once existed. He stares at his painting wishing he had the power to bring the person back to life. All he asks for is to see him one last time, just one last chance.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Taehyung sat in the room with the painting in his hand for almost the entire day until he received a call from Jimin. Jimin had called to check up on him. Even though he was in no state to engage in a conversation, Taehyung still indulged his best friend knowing it would put Jimin's worries to ease. 
 
After his call with Jimin, Taehyung decided to go out for a walk. Something that Jimin made him promise over the phone. He said the fresh air would make Taehyung feel better and alive. He made him promise to go for a short walk after their call. Taehyung was left with  no other option than agreeing to whatever Jimin said and in all honesty it felt like a better option than crying in the room.
 
He leaves the painting on the floor and walks out of the room. On his way out he notices how all his stuff is yet to be unpacked. Most of them are scattered across the place while some of them are stacked up against the walls. He looks around the house for the first time since he arrived. The place looks empty and dull, resonating with his inner self. Taehyung feels a weight on his chest as he looks at the vacant room. For a house so empty it shouldn’t be this suffocating yet Taehyung feels a coil around his lung, stopping him from breathing freely. Maybe it isn’t the house but the weight of  his own thoughts and the pain of his own heart that suffocates him in this large space.  He takes in a deep breath trying to calm his racing mind. And when he lets out a sigh his legs lead him to the door, he needs to get some fresh air.
 
The sky is painted with hues of twilight as Taehyung steps out of his house. The neighbourhood is too quiet and Taehyung wonders if this is how life outside the city was as the sun sunk down the horizon. Despite the disappearing sun the air is still warm. Taehyung feels the soft caress of warmth over his skin as he walks through roads. 
 
Contrary to the city, where the roads are bustling with vehicles and people at any time of the day, the road here is pretty much empty. There isn’t anyone pushing past him as they rush to god knows where and neither there are vehicles that blow their horns till your ears go deaf. 
 
Here Taehyung could walk at his own pace with no one breathing down his neck and rushing him to move fast. One step at a time, Taehyung takes his sweet time to move forward. He swings his leg lazily with each step forward in the empty road. 
 
If everything had gone according to his plan then Taehyung would have explored this place by now and would have probably got acquainted with his neighbour. He hasn't got the chance to look at the world outside the confines of his wall as his mind was being haunted by the loss of Jungkook. 
 
He walks down the road as he watches the sky change its shades. His mind effortlessly goes back to thinking about Jungkook. No amount of fresh air relieves him from the clutches of his own thoughts- thoughts pertaining to Jungkook. He wonders where the elder was for all these years. He wonders if he ever thought about Taehyung. Did Jungkook remember him? Did Jungkook ever think about the time they spent together? Did Jungkook yearn for him like Taehyung did? Or did Jungkook forget about him like he never existed? Was Taehyung just another passing cloud in Jungkook's sky?
 
He has too many questions to ask but no one to answer. He has too many doubts to be cleared but no one to assure. These questions have been living in his mind for 10 years now and at this moment Taehyung realises he will never get to know the answers to this. Because the only person who is answerable to him, the one who could put his mind to rest is no longer there. Jungkook has never been and will never be here to give him his answers. First he vanished from Taehyung’s sight and now he has gone too far away from Taehyung. Taehyung will have to live the rest of his life wondering about the answers for this. A particular breeze breaks him out of his thoughts. A chill air breezes through him, making his skin shudder at the contact. Taehyung realises that he has walked quite a distance from his house. 
 
He looks around and notices how this side of the road is desolate with no houses on either of its side. Taehyung quickly turns back and begins to walk in the direction of his house. The sky is turning darker by the minute as Taehyung quickened his pace. He doesn’t wish to get lost on his first day in this place. 
 
As he watches the dark orange fade into the greys of the night sky he feels the pain of his loss settle in him again. When does one stop grieving? When will this pain fade into a scar? Taehyung wonders as he looks at the empty road before him. Will he ever feel alive again? He wonders. 
 
But then again if the pain fades away and scars are forgotten will that be the end of his time with Jungkook. Because right now every time his heart beats with inconsolable pain he thinks about the elder. He thinks about his time with him. He thinks about his love for the senior and most importantly he thinks about Jungkook. In the moments of ache, Jungkook occupies his mind. In moments between his tears, he remembers Jungkook's face. If one day the pain fades and he begins to smile, will Jungkook's thoughts be lost in that smile?
 
If so then he never wants to smile. He will then learn to live with the lingering thoughts of Jungkook at the back of his mind while his heart bleeds. Well this isn’t new for him. He has lived ten years of his life with the pain of waiting, what can a couple of ten more do to him? Except this time, he has no hope to hold on to. Silent tears escape his eyes as he walks through the empty road. 
 
Soon he could see the compound of his residence, with a few quick strides he reached the gates. His eyes glances at the house next to his, it looks pretty much the same as his from the outside. From what it looks it seems like the house is locked from outside meaning the owner isn’t in there. So Taehyung mentally makes a note to pay a visit to his neighbour soon. He reaches out to open the gate when he hears a roar of a motorbike in the distance. Leaving the gates half opened, Taehyung turns around to see where the sound comes from. On his right side he sees a black bike entering the street. His eyes are stuck on the black vehicle as he watches it enter the street with grace. The person riding the bike halts the vehicle in front of his neighbours house. He watches the man, whose face is covered with a helmet, get down from the bike and open the gates. 
 
The man doesn’t seem to have noticed Taehyung’s presence. He unlocks the gate and pushes away and goes back to hop on his bike. Taehyung then watches the guy drive his bike into the neighbouring compound and finally turns off the engine. 
 
The guy is decked in black from top to bottom and even the helmet covering his face is black in colour making it difficult for anyone to guess what he hides behind it. Taehyung watches the man’s movements closely and when he sees him get down from his bike Taehyung contemplates whether to initiate a conversation or not. The man for all he knows might be his neighbour after all he had the keys to the gates.  He thinks it's wise enough to get to know about his neighbour in the beginning itself after all there aren't many houses in this neighbourhood. So it would be better to at least introduce himself. But as Taehyung looks at him he could see that underneath that black outfit the guy is packed with muscles and could even see some tattoos peeking from underneath of the guy’s sleeves. The outlook of the guy creates a little apprehension in Taehyung's mind. Because even with his face covered the tattooed guy exuded an intimidating aura which made Taehyung cower a little. But with too many thought already clouding his mind, Taehyung doesn’t ponder over the fear and decides to give it a shot. There isn’t anything worse that could happen to him anymore. 
 
The man seems to be busy on his phone when Taehyung slowly walks to his gate. His neighbour doesn’t notice Taehyung’s presence immediately. Even though the gates are still open, Taehyung doesn’t dare to step inside. He stands by the gates waiting for his neighbour to notice his presence. The guy has his back towards Taehyung and Taehyung could see that he is still busy looking down at his phone. 
 
Taehyung lets out a loud sigh, rethinking his decision. He is too tired for this and every cell of his body cries in exhaustion but Taehyung is here waiting to get introduced to his neighbour. He could feel his patience wearing down steadily so he decided to do something. 
 
“Hey!” Taehyung calls out loudly, trying to grab the neighbour’s attention. 
 
The man who was busy looking down at his phone looks up and slowly turns his head to see Taehyung. Taehyung puts on a tight lipped smile on his face as he watches the man turn to face him. 
 
“I recently moved into the house next to yours-” Taehyung begins to introduce himself while at the same time the  man lifts his hand to unbuckle the straps of his helmet and slowly lifts the case off his face and ruffles his hair to set them in their place.
 
It all happens slowly, one moment Taehyung half way into introducing himself to his new neighbour and the next moment his words hang in the air as he looks at the man in front. Behind the black helmet is the face that he longed to see. The face he spent the night tracing with the tips of his brush. The face that appeared in his dreams and nightmares. The face he prayed to see one last time. 
 
It's the same face that once gently smiled at him and enthralled him at its first sight. It's the same face that carried those starlit eyes and brightened up his days as those stars shined at him. It's the same face that belongs to the man Taehyung fell in love with. That face was the answer to his endless nights and teary prayers. 
 
There stands before him- his salvation, his Jungkook. The man who was said to be dead stands before him in flesh and blood as he stares back at him with furrowed brows and dark eyes. 
 
Taehyung’s eyes widen and he covers his mouth behind his palms as he lets out a gasp.

“Jungkook” he breathes out as a single tear rolls down his eye.

Jeon Jungkook is alive.