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Konan sighed, looking out at the pounding rain. It was lovely. Rain was her favourite weather. It was so calming, and peaceful... it really was a wonderful experience, to simply watch the rain, listen to it fall.It wasn't a wonderful sensation at all to be standing in the cold, completely drenched, banging on the door of a school that looked more like a gothic asylum than anything else. The building was pitch black against the grey sky, with tall, spiked metal fences surrounding the unkempt grounds and chips and cracks in almost every windowpane.Konan sighed: the paper flower in her hair had long since been discarded as a lost cause, having become so soggy she was worried it would disintegrate. She banged on the door again. She knew she couldn't possibly be in the wrong place, but just to be sure, she re-read the brass plate erected above the huge door. St. Misery's School for the Artistically Gifted. This was the place, alright. Her new home for the next two years, or until her father decided differently. He had wanted her out of his hair, and this was about as far away as he could send her. “You’ll love it,” he’d said over the phone last week as she was on the first of 3 trains. She wasn't quite as confident, but then, she didn't have anywhere else to go, and the building was... lovely... in its own gothic, scary-looking way. She did a double-take, noticing literal gargoyles leering down at her from the balustrade. This place was crazy...Finally, somebody opened the door. It was a girl, dressed in a high-collared black dress with a light grey apron tied around her waist with a thin black bow. Konan liked her outfit. She wondered if the girl was a maid, judging by the apron - was this place fancy enough for maids, even with the broken windows!? The girl had dark brown hair, around the same length as Konan's own blue hair. She smiled and cocked her head to the side."Konan Ame?" she asked.Konan nodded."Come in. Lady Tsunade would like to meet you before you get settled. She's the Headmistress. I'm Shizune, her admin assistant."Konan nodded - Ok, not a maid - and followed her inside, wringing out her hair and trying not to drip too much on the front mat."Follow me.” Shizune seemed happy just to tell her about the place as they mounted long staircases. Konan looked around her as they walked; there were paintings all over the place, loads of sculptures in different styles, and doors to classrooms that had all been decorated, presumably by the students. Many were painted, others were carved. Some of them were covered with clay figures, some had paper-mache people on them, or hands coming out of them. Some even had metal dragons and animals that seemed to leap out at her from the wood. There were mobiles hanging from the ceilings, paintings and murals and sculptures and wood carvings and stories or poems that went ceiling to floor, wall to wall...there was art of almost every kind decorating the stone walls. Konan almost strained her neck, looking around herself."...your baggage arrived two days ago, so it's lucky that it didn't rain until today..." Shizune was still talking, Konan realized suddenly. "Here you go. This is Lady Tsunade's office." Shizune said, stopping outside ornately carved double doors (with some not-so-ornate carvings along the bottom: swear words, grotesque faces, dicks of various shapes and sizes...). Shizune knocked twice, then opened the door, beckoning for Konan to go in first.Konan walked inside.Her first impression of the room was that Lady Tsunade had tried to create a haven in which she could pretend that there weren't hundreds of teenagers running and shouting and who-knows-what-ing right outside. The walls were a calming shade of pale grass green, and the carpet was ocean blue. There were huge windows behind the large mahogany desk, shielded from a view of the rain by long white curtains, which swayed in a soft breeze. Lady Tsunade herself was sitting at her desk, scribbling something down on a pad of paper. Following a pointed nod from Shizune, Konan walked forward and sat down on one of the wooden chairs. Feeling awkward, she watched Tsunade write, taking her in.Tsunade had mid-length pale blonde hair that was tied back in two pigtails, kind-looking brown eyes, and —she felt her jaw drop— the biggest boobs Konan had ever seen. Konan herself had no curves to write home about (or even to mention over coffee). These were massive. Bazongas. Beach balls. Watermelons. Forget sweater puppies, they were sweater St. Bernards.

How bad does her back hurt!? A stern ah- hem caught her attention. She flicked her eyes up to Tsunade's face, which was wearing a very practiced my-eyes-are-up-here expression. Konan blushed."Konan Ame. It's a pleasure to have you here," Tsunade said, in a kind, straightforward voice. "Shizune has a copy of your course schedule for you, as well as a time table." Shizune handed Konan several sheets of paper, which Konan began to read.Okay...Monday: 9:00 - Origami | 10:30 - Break | 10:45 - Drawing | 12:15 - Lunch | 1:15 - Gym | 2:45 - Performing Arts | 6:00 - Dinner | Lights Out - No Fucking Around.Konan stifled a giggle. No fucking around... Tuesday to Friday was much the same as that, except she had painting, sculpture, metalshop, sewing, and choir. Gym was every day (groan). Weekends were free time for individual projects, except for mandatory 'Special Events'. She supposed she'd find out what that meant later."Now, Konan," Tsunade began again, her tone a little sheepish, "Because of a slight mix-up in your arrangements..."Konan looked up. A mix-up? Oh dear. Tsunade was shuffling papers, looking embarrassed. Konan looked to Shizune, who grimaced at her."...Because of the rather unique way in which you have been admitted to this school... I'm sure it's no surprise to you, your father was adamant that you join even though the term has already begun. He outlined to us his reasoning," she waved a typed letter, "and we are happy to accommodate, of course. However, since you are late, we were unable to secure you a place in the girls' dorm."Konan waited for the other shoe to drop. This probably wasn't going to be good news."Luckily, your father, or rather his... secretary... hmm..." Tsunade squinted at a presumably indecipherable signature on the form. "Will we accept that? I mean I guess we have already, but I mean, come on..."Shizune gave a discreet yet firm cough. Tsunade came back to herself, tossing the form in a drawer."I'll worry about that later. Anyway, we received consent for you to sleep in the room that we do have available, because one of the other pupils... er... couldn't attend."Konan caught Shizune's eye right as she drew a finger across her neck meaningfully.

Um...? "The room that has been prepared for you has its own en-suite bathroom," Tsunade continued, "So naturally, everybody's jealous. There is also a lock on the door." She was quite obviously straining to make this sound like a good deal. Amazing news instead of horrible news. "I have put every precaution in place to ensure that you will be completely welcome in the boys' dorm."Boys' dorm. Boys. Konan's stomach fell to her feet with a splat. She had enough trouble talking to boys. How was she supposed to sleep in the same dorm as them!?Soon enough, however, and with an unfortunately tiny window in which to think about it and panic properly, Konan was trudging behind a once-again blathering Shizune, headed for certain doom... the boys' dorm.All the dorm rooms were on the upper floor, above the lunch hall and class rooms. The windows were taller up here, which at least made for a lovely view of the rain. And the shitty lawn and crappy driveway. Konan rolled her eyes.

Oh yeah, dad, I'm going to love it here... Shizune stopped outside a set of double doors with thick iron handles, wrapped with a large black chain."What's that for?" Konan asked, her voice a little fainter than usual as she stared at the chained handles. It was the sort of thing you'd expect to see outside the gates of hell , not a dorm room... although maybe they weren't that different."Oh, don't worry about it," Shizune said breezily. She took a heavy key from her pocket and fit it into the lock, giving it a sharp twist. The lock clicked and the chains slipped off. Shizune wound them up and jerked the door open. "This is just to stop any night-time wanderers. Prevent vandalism. Keep 'em in. Prevent teen pregnancies, all that jazz.""Oh, great," Konan said in a falsely bright voice. "Boo, vandalism. Hiss, pregnancy.""That's the spirit," Shizune said with a sharp grin. "You'll be fine though.""Um..." Konan wasn't sure how to take that. As a patronizing compliment? As a cutting insult? As a possibly overconfident claim about the strength of the lock on her door...?"Anyway, it's mostly traditional. Frankly, the lock on the girls' dorm is way more important. They're the ones that really bother trying to sneak out to blow stuff up or start fires most of the time," Shizune sighed, striding through the doors. Konan followed quickly behind her and jumped when they clanged shut. "Your school uniforms are on your bed, and your luggage should have been brought up by now too.""There's a uniform?"Shizune nodded vigorously. " Oh yes. Anybody caught altering their uniform — cutting hems, sewing on lace, tearing sleeves, etc — is awarded, based on the artistic vision and detail of their outfit." Konan smiled: This was an art school, after all. "However," Shizune continued as they turned a corner, "Anyone who alters their uniform in a way that is against the dress code... yes there is a dress code... will lose privileges. We have had occasional issues..." Shizune coughed delicately and caught Konan's eye. "Students showing too much skin, or who don't want to wear a uniform, or any clothing at all... While it gives everyone a laugh —" Shizune seemed to be lost in the memory for a second as her eyes slid out of focus and a grin appeared on her face. "— it is not appropriate, to say the least. In any case, you can't alter your gym outfit too much, because that's the one that there isn't a back up for, in case your design doesn't work out."Konan nodded, looking at the many colourful doors they were passing on either side, each with locks and bolts on the outside. She was starting to wonder if they were keeping zoo animals in here rather than teenagers..."These are the first year rooms." Shizune pointed to four doors. "Second years—" Two doors. ("There was an unfortunate incident in metalshop.") "Third years... Fourth years... Here you are. Fifth years." They stopped. Shizune gestured further down the hall with her thumb. "There are seven years officially. We occasionally have an Eighth year or two, if someone fails their finals. We had a Tenth year a while ago, total no-hoper, but he died ages ago, so it's no big thing." Shizune flapped her hand airily at the idea of one of the students merely dying. So trivial.Konan was hardly listening. She was staring at the Fifth year doors with impending dread. There were two of them, both with a large iron 5 nailed to the front. Shizune had stopped her directly in front of the one painted with an enormous fanged mouth. Shizune walked forwards, unbolted it, and entered, Konan following behind, very unhappily.Inside there was another tiny corridor, with four doors facing each other. At the end was a fifth door, where they stopped. There was a chalkboard nailed to the front. "You can write your name here. Some people go a little crazy with it. You can take a day to decide what design you want to go for," Shizune said. Konan glanced around at the other doors with their chalkboards. She couldn't read the names in the darkness, but she could tell some of them shone as though coated in metal or glitter, and at least one seemed to have a load of spikes hammered into it."I'll do it later," she said, and opened the door.Shizune pointed out the bolt on the door, and the key for the dorm on the dresser. "No copies are to be made of that key, got me?" she said sternly. Konan nodded and looked around.She felt she could grow to love the room. It was small, and a little dark, but it had a tall window in the outer wall which looked out on a forest. There was a twin bed, a plain wardrobe, a storage closet, a small desk, and chair. The walls were a cool sea blue. There was a little bathroom to one side."You can paint the walls and the furniture, as long as it can be easily repainted. No texture work. Outside of that, do whatever you like," Shizune said. "This will be your home for the next year, at least."Shizune reviewed everything else she would need to know, including the fact that there was a day off coming up, and an assembly. "Good night, and welcome to St Misery!" she said as she shut the door behind her. Welcome to St Misery... Konan sighed. It sounded like a bit of a depressing promise.She locked her door, turned on the light, and looked around properly. The school colours were grey and black, apparently. The bedspread was grey and black checks. A small grey carpet lay over the dark wood floor. The school uniforms folded on the bed were grey and black. She figured they were gendered — she could probably ask for pants, but luckily she was a skirt girl. Black pinafore, grey wool tights, grey collared short-sleeve shirt. Black skirt, black wool tights, grey collared long-sleeve, black tie. Black coat with a white raven crest.Konan smiled, flung her jacket onto the bed, and went to the bathroom. Turning on the light, she inspected the mirror, polished sink, toilet, and shower, which didn't have a curtain, and— A HUGE SPIDER OHHHMYYYGODDDD. Konan screamed loud enough to wake the dead and sprinted out of the bathroom. She tore open her case, grabbed her knives, scissors, everything sharp she had brought, and flung them at the monstrous, hairy arachnid that was crouched in the bottom of her shower, guarding the drain like a hellish guardian. She heard them smash into it but didn't stay to check — she sprinted right out again and dove for her bed, clawing her way under the blankets, shuddering. She hated spiders, and that was bigger than a fricking tarantula! She lay there, curled in a ball, until she thought she heard muffled laughter through the walls. Weird… She cautiously crept to the bathroom, duvet cover wrapped around her for protection, and squinted suspiciously at the spider's remains. She gasped: her scissors, throwing star, hand axe, and kitchen knife were all embedded into a plate-sized rubber spider.Konan, face burning with rage and embarrassment, retrieved the very-very-dead rubber spider. She chucked the knives and scissors into the bottom drawer of her dresser, and threw the spider into the garbage bin, stamping on it for emphasis. She had cracked the shower tile pretty badly. Kinda shitty, but she hardly cared. She started to plot her revenge on her new 'roomies'.She unpacked the rest of her suitcase. Most of her drawer space went towards the heaviest thing in her luggage — her massive collection of origami paper. She knew the school had its own supply for students, but she had brought her own just for occasions like this. Before getting started, she crept to her door, unlocked it, and glanced down the tiny hallway. She foresaw bumping into the others in the mornings... She had changed into her pyjamas already (oversized black t-shirt, grey sweatpants — her own clothes largely matched the school uniform, ironically), and padded silently into the hall, eyeballing measurements. She cracked her knuckles, returned to her room, locked the door, and sat cross-legged on the floor, readying herself and raising the energy for what was to come.It was late, but she wasn't tired. She was ready to scare the shit out of the first boy out of his room. She began folding her paper as fast as she could, feeling it almost come alive in her hands. She smirked as her project began to take form; she was gonna get the last laugh this time.The next morning, Konan took a few extra moments in front of the mirror, nervous in spite of herself for her first day at her new school. She brushed her bright blue hair and put it half-up in its usual messy bun. She cleaned her piercings, washed her face, clipped on a silver chain choker, then put on her usual soft grey eyeshadow and eyeliner. She didn't wear much, but figured she should put her best foot forward on her first day. She folded a pale blue origami flower and pinned it in her hair, and slipped on her silver rings. She put on her uniform — she had shortened the pinafore, sewn silver and black lace to the bottom hem, painted white flowers onto the buttons, and made a few artistic holes in the tights. She tied up her black Converse and swung her blue flowery bag over her shoulder, ensuring her schedule was safely tucked inside, along with her notebooks and supplies. As quietly as she could, she opened her door and took a final look at her handiwork, spread on the floor of the hallway. Then she stomped as loud as she could down the hall, making sure to wake up the boys at the ungodly hour of six in the morning.She heard several moans, swears, and other irritated-boys-in-early-morning sounds, and smirked as she opened the door to the main boy's dorm hall, thankful she'd thought to leave early. Just before classes began, this surely would be swarming with horrible teenage boys, yelling and armpit farting and fighting, and... whatever they did...Konan had never actually gone to a co-ed school before. Strictly speaking, she had rarely not just been home schooled by her dad's latest hire, or studied by herself for online school. It was unusual, to say the least, that she had been allowed to attend St. Misery's at all, but her father had been saying how busy he was with business lately, and that he had to travel a lot... Konan wasn't complaining. Or, she was trying not to complain — she was still dreading the fish tank of Axe body spray she would surely be trapped in from now until June. She sighed heavily and walked quietly through the empty hall, making her way to somewhere she hoped she could hide until breakfast.Meanwhile, Hidan was swearing."Why'd she have to stomp through here like fucking Godzilla!? House-hippo-ass bitch..." he seethed.Deidara entered Hidan's room through the adjoining door, rubbing his crusty eyes. "I dunno, man. She was probably paying us back for that spider," he said, nearly unintelligible through a luxurious yawn."Fucking enunciate! Are you even awake?" Hidan demanded, and threw a pillow hard at Deidara's head. It thwacked him straight in the face and Hidan ducked as it came flying back at him, snickering over Deidara's hissed threats. "Anyway, what d'you mean, paying us back? Fuck that bitch, I'm not standing for this kind of shit! I'm getting Pain and Itachi." He jerked the door to the hall open and stormed out, calling, "Wakey-wakey motherfuckers, this bitch has—"Hidan's eyes fell to the huddled mass on the floor. He squinted in the semi-darkness. A girl was lying there, broken, spread-eagled. Nothing but a splatter of meat remained of her head. Her legs and arms were bent at horrible angles, and she was sprawled, broken, in a puddle of scarlet blood... an enormous, shining kitchen knife buried between her shoulder blades."YEEAAAARGGHHH!"Hidan's scream acted like a starting pistol. Immediately, the other doors in the hall flew open as several more yells joined Hidan’s. Deidara crashed into Hidan, sending them both careering to the ground, where they tried to untangle themselves and get as far as possible from the bloody corpse at the same time. Pain, his eyes gummy with sleep, had taken one look, staggered back in surprise, and tripped over an aluminum baseball bat laying on his floor, going ass over teakettle and crashing to the ground, too.It was total chaos. Until Itachi, who had emerged calmly from his bedroom and was leaning against the doorframe, arms folded, gave a snort of laughter."You idiots."That shut everybody up.Pain staggered into a standing position, wincing, and looked closely at the body. "She's made of paper , dummies," he said calmly. As though he hadn't just screamed, too.Hidan jabbed the body with his toe, and gasped in indignation and outrage when it folded over itself slightly. There was an unmistakable rustle of paper."That BITCH! I'm gonna fuckin' KILL her!" Hidan roared, and he was still roaring by the time they'd all gotten dressed and were heading out."You've said that at least four hundred times, Hidan," Itachi said irritably.“Don’t exaggerate."They banged on the door of the other Year 5 boys. A scowling redhead jerked it open."Oh, it's you." he said, running a hand through his rumpled hair."Who the fuck else would it be!?" snarked Hidan."Hey Sasori. Getting up any time soon?" Pain asked, amused: Sasori was still in a hoodie and pyjama bottoms."Can it," snapped Sasori. "What in under god was all that noise last night? First there's a sound like a banshee singing opera—"Hidan snickered. "That's the bitch who's staying in our dorm! The chick! We put a rubber spider in her shower, and she—"Sasori's jaw dropped. "She has a shower!? ""I know! " The entire troupe of boys exclaimed indignantly."Why do I have to wash my cock in the fucking communal showers with all these stupid moronic skidmarks watching when little miss missy gets her own space?" Hidan griped, glaring around at the couple other early risers who were blearily gazing out their doors for the source of the noise."Probably Tsunade and Shizune think it's compensation for having to stay in the boy's dorm," Itachi said."So, she goes and scares the crap out of us—" Deidara jumped in, filling in Sasori."—After you scared the crap out of her first..." Pain interjected, grinning."—okay, fine, after that, and then Hidan starts screaming like a little girl—""Hey! I object to that!" Hidan tugged Deidara's ponytail."Overruled," Sasori said with a smirk. "I heard it. You're making Mariah Carey jealous on those high notes. But yeah, I heard that. And then you all started yelling, and then there was the swearing, and I still haven't had any coffee..." By this time, Kisame and Kakuzu had stumbled into the hallway behind Sasori, shadows under their eyes."Coffee. Where?" grunted Kisame by way of morning greeting, completely not listening to the rest of the conversation."But this bitch, she made a seriously realistic fucking corpse out of paper! It's in our hallway, fuckin' broken-limbed voodoo doll type shit," Hidan said, tugging the sleeve of Kakuzu's t-shirt, as though asking him to come and look. Kakuzu blinked at the hand on his sleeve and shrugged him off and didn't react."I think you need your eyes checked, if paper is fooling you," Kisame said on a yawn, and turned right back around to get dressed. Sasori followed, grinning as Deidara came with him, his head resting on Sasori's shoulder like he was trying to fall back asleep. Kakuzu shoved his hands in his pockets and strolled into the other dorm room to check out the scene of the 'crime.'The other boys from Konan's dorm leaned against the wall together."So...anybody know her name?" Pain asked.The others shook their heads. "She hasn't written her name on her board," Itachi observed.Pain rolled his eyes. Typical. They get a new roommate, a girl , and nobody knows her name. What a way to start. He thought of the 'corpse' and snorted, in spite of himself. It was pretty funny. He bit down on another impressed smile and loped off to get dressed.Once they were all changed, the group walked together through the huge doors of the boys' hall, discussing the new girl. They had finally got their rooming situation sorted just right and had settled into an established dynamic after Deidara joined the school last year, and the arrival of the new girl felt like it could go either way. She could be cool, might manage to fit in with them, or at least not bother them too much... or..."What if she's just like Ino-bitch?" Hidan asked with a groan. The others sighed, rolled their eyes, or grimaced as one. Popular though she was, Ino Yamanaka in the year below them was both bossy and high-maintenance; not their idea of an easy person to live with. "What if she's butt ugly?""What, you think she's going to bring down the tone of our group pictures?" Pain asked, sarcastically." Sasori might think so, hm. You know he's shallow as a puddle," Deidara said, earning himself an elbow to the ribs."We haven't evicted Kakuzu yet, and he's not exactly Marilyn Monroe," Sasori pointed out, then laughed as Kakuzu shoved him against the wall one-handed."Ooh, Pain, your dream might come true," Deidara said teasingly. "Maybe you'll finally have a roommate who can pierce your guche for you without wanting to puke!""I don't want my guche pierced," Pain snapped, then paused, tilting his head. "Although...""Ewww!"They all walked into the huge lunch hall, laughing, grabbed plates, piled them up with food, and sat down at their usual table.In the meantime, Konan had helped herself to an apple, two pieces of toast, and a glass of orange juice, and had sat down at a table by herself. After finishing most of her breakfast, she took out her origami paper and started folding dreamily as she let her thoughts wander. She was soon surrounded by paper cranes, dragons, flowers, boats, castles, horses, butterflies, and swans.After twenty minutes or so, she was joined by a blonde girl, who set her tray down and sat down opposite. She was really pretty — she had powder blue eyes and flaxen blonde hair in a sleek, high ponytail, side bangs sweeping over one eye. She asked her name, her year, and which room she was in. When she mentioned she was in the boy's dorm, the girl stared and scooted her chair closer."You're staying with boys? Ooooh... which ones?" The blonde girl asked."I don't know. I haven't met them yet," Konan said. "I woke up early.""Aw, no fun! Oh well. I'm Ino Yamanaka. This must be your first week here, right? I'd remember you. "Konan raised her eyebrows at the emphasis on 'you.' Did Ino think she looked weird, or something?"Yeah, I arrived yesterday," she said, biting noisily into her apple, putting an end to the conversation.Or so she thought. Ino waved over a friend of hers, who promptly sat down on Konan's other side. She leaned forward immediately, obviously expecting fresh gossip."This is Sakura," Ino said.Konan smiled at the new girl around her apple, feeling awkward.Sakura had bubblegum pink hair tied back with a red headband, a wide forehead, and striking jade-green eyes."Sakura, this is Konan. She's new, in fifth year, and she's staying with the other fifth-year guys. Not sure which room, but I mean, there's not a lot of choices as to who exactly it's gonna be..." Ino said with a giggle."You're staying with boys?" Sakura said in surprise. "Ew!! Why?"Konan gave up on her apple and put it down. "I was registered late. I usually travel around with my dad, or at least stay in the same city as him, but he's really busy at the moment or something, so I guess he thought it would be better to send me away.""What kind of job does your dad have? Damn, I wish I could just travel around," Ino sighed dreamily.Konan gave a one-shouldered shrug. "He runs a company. I don't really know a lot about it. He doesn't talk to me about that. But anyway, I think he signed a form, or his secretary did, saying to basically put me wherever there's space. So, I'm in an extra room in the boys' dorm. At least I get my own shower!"Ino and Sakura goggled at her. "OMG! I am so fricking jealous," Ino whined.Sakura blew a raspberry, crossing her arms. "Luck-eee. You don't have to take your life in your hands in the communal showers. I swear I got some kind of fungus from them last year," Sakura groaned, wiggling her feet. "You should sneak us into yours.""Bitch, yes! We could just stay in Konan's room! Plus, we can hang out with everyone... play 7 minutes in Heaven..." Ino said, shooting a smirk at Sakura, who blushed.Konan picked up her apple again and took another bite. It seemed like the conversation was carrying on perfectly well without her. She looked around the lunch hall, taking in the architecture, the rows and rows of tall windows. 
It’s raining again… how nice…
She was brought sharply back down to earth by a half-shriek, half-whisper from Ino. "There he is! There he is! Konan, look !" Konan blinked around, looking where Ino pointed with a glittering manicured finger. A boy, probably fourteen or fifteen, walked into the lunch hall. Hands in pockets. Pale skin. Dark hair. Konan looked from Ino to Sakura, wondering how they wanted her to react."Who's that?" she whispered.Sakura and Ino half-scoffed, half-laughed. "Ummmm... Sasuke Uchicha! I know you're new, but come on. He is like the hottest guy in the whole school, everybody is completely obsessed with him, as if you have to ask why ..." Konan wished they'd just left her to eat breakfast in peace... She glanced at Sasuke Uchiha again. He was facing away from their table. Possibly on purpose, she thought darkly. She thought his hair looked like the back end of a duck."So," Ino said, tossing her long hair and thwacking Konan in the back with it, "What have you done to your uni so far?""My uniform? Well... not that much," Konan said.Sakura gestured for her to stand up. Konan obeyed, feeling a bit silly. Sakura and Ino's gazes flicked up and down her body, taking in every detail. Konan fidgeted."Well?" she asked, a little sheepishly."I think it's pretty." said Sakura. "I like the ribbons, and the lace...""You're pretty conservative, huh?" Ino asked, propping her chin on her hand.Konan opened her mouth, not even sure what she was going to say to that. Um... Should I be wearing my thigh-high stockings? More chains? No clothes at all? Her father and the various manners and propriety experts he'd hired for her over the years would have rejoiced to hear her called 'conservative.' The thought made her roll her eyes."Well... what did you two do with your uniforms?" Konan asked, looking at the other girls.Ino stood up immediately and twirled around, posing, as Sakura laughed and pretended to be a paparazzo, clicking an invisible camera wildly. Ino had tied up the uniform shirt like Britney Spears, and was plainly wearing a neon pink bra underneath, which showed through. She had put a stick-on rhinestone flower on her bare hip. The uniform skirt was hemmed and folded over itself so many times it barely covered eight inches of her. She wore long white socks and heeled Mary-Janes. Heads turned around them as she pranced and posed. Some guys were plainly enjoying the show. A couple people laughed. Konan wanted to sink into the ground from second-hand embarrassment.Sakura had altered the collared shirt into a halter top, and had embroidered pink flowers around the hem of her skirt. She wore black tights and white Keds."You both look really cute," Konan said with a smiling, hoping she was keeping the second-hand embarrassment she was experiencing firmly on the inside . Ino sat back down with a grin. Then she suddenly leaned forward, squinting at Konan's mouth."OMG, you have a piercing!" she exclaimed loudly, pointing.Konan glanced around. A couple heads had turned at Ino's loud voice. She felt hot at the back of her neck. "Yeah, yes. I have piercings," she said in a low voice, hoping Ino would take the hint; she didn’t like being stared at."Why did you get one there ?" Ino asked, leaning forward and staring as if Konan had dropped food on her chin. "Doesn't it get like, dirty? Or greasy?"Konan frowned. "It's a labret. You just clean it like any other piercing. I mean, it took longer to heal than a few of the others, but now it's fine..."Sakura snorted with laughter. "You know who you need to meet? That freaky orange-haired guy in your year."Ino gaped at her and then burst out laughing. "Oh jeez, Konan, no . No. Leave the uber-goth freaks to their own affairs. Stay on the side of light, and normalcy! Stay with us," she said, taking Konan's hand and stroking it. "Now, take Sasuke. Now that's a guy. A nice, normal, sexy guy without nails in his collarbones or whatever the heck is going on with what's his name..." she trailed off, watching Sasuke drink his coffee. Two seconds later, she seemed to have zoned out completely.Konan extracted herself from the two girls, put away her breakfast tray, and left for her Origami class at the bell.After her first class, Konan liked St Misery much, much better. The teacher was really cool (she actually wore paper!) and had praised Konan on her ability to manipulate paper almost subconsciously. Her name was Kurenai, and she was Konan's favourite teacher so far. During break, Konan stayed behind, feeling a bit shy but needing to ask about catch-up assignments, and she and Kurenai quickly got off-topic, talking about various paper-making methods.They got so carried away that Konan was totally startled by the bell, and had to rush to Drawing, trying not to be late. She was so harried she bumped into someone in the doorway. "Sorry!"She looked up. The boy was tall — her eyes were level with his lips. She met his gaze, and opened her mouth in surprise. He had spiky orange hair, violet eyes, and a lot of piercings. Snake bites, piercings up his nose, bars straight through and silver rings all the way up each ear. 
Cool... 
Konan felt herself start to blush, to her horror. She wondered if this was the boy Ino had been talking about."After you," he said with an easy smile, stepping back. His voice was low and pleasant."Sorry," she squeaked again, and practically jumped into the classroom.The teacher, Kakashi, looked over at her. "Konan Ame, right?" he asked.She nodded."Feel free to grab that empty seat while I take attendance..."Konan looked around and saw an empty seat next to... another empty seat. Wow. A table to herself. She nearly scolded herself for inwardly complaining — breakfast this morning had certainly taught her the innate value of one's own company.  But still… I hope I can make a friend in at least one of my classes… She sighed and sat down, fingering a hole in her tights anxiously as the teacher carried on calling out names. The orange-haired boy didn't come back.  Maybe he had the wrong classroom? "Hinata...here...Temari...here...Neji...here...Sasori...""Here, unfortunately.""Detention, unfortunately."Konan glanced up. A few girls were giggling, glancing over at the boy who had spoken. He was sitting at the table across from Konan's. He had a slight figure and dusky red hair curling in gentle waves around his delicate face. His resting expression was dreamy, long lashes framing his soft grey eyes, but at the moment he was rolling them at the ceiling, arms folded. The boy next to him said something quietly and he turned, a wicked laugh lighting his features.Konan looked over at the other boy. He had waist-length dirty blonde hair pulled into a high half-ponytail, and long bangs covering the left half of his face. He had sun-kissed skin, cat-like blue eyes framed by dark eyeliner, and what looked like several burn scars over his arms.Kakashi continued the roll call. "Konan...here...Deidara...here...Pain's here..." he said, not even looking up to check.Konan blinked. Pain? Is that someone's name? She started doodling in her sketchbook, excited for class to begin, but a few minutes later, Kakashi finished the roll call, then announced that since there were no classes the next day they might as well start the holiday early and goof off. She looked up at him, confused, but he had already pulled out a thermos of tea, leaned back in his chair, kicked his shoes off, and was slipping what looked like an erotica novel out of his coat pocket.The class immediately started talking. Konan slipped her earbuds in, turned her playlist up, and continued drawing, slumped forward with her head on her arm. She was exhausted. She wasn't an early riser by nature, and she'd been up before 6am today, and had barely gotten any sleep the night before because she was folding her origami prank. After a few minutes, her wrist started to slump. Her pencil hit the page and she fell asleep, breathing slow, completely unaware that someone had just sat down in the empty chair next to her.-Pain looked down at the sleeping girl. She was the one he'd bumped into on the way out the door, when he'd been heading for his locker. He'd forgotten his sketchbook, but judging from the huge amount of nothing all the other students were doing, and how many pages Kakashi was into his dirty book, it looked like he wouldn't be needing it. He started drawing anyway, adding more details to the tattoo design he'd been working on, but unable to help it, glanced again at the girl beside him beneath his lashes.Her blue hair fell softly across her face and fanned over her shoulder. Her eyelashes cast shadows on her cheeks. An intricate origami flower was pinned in her hair. Pain glanced again at her labret and he smiled; it looked cute on her. Not many people at the school had facial piercings." Oooh, look at the dirty old pervert slobbering over the new girl~" Sasori stage whispered from the next table over, smirking at him." Oooh, new girl has a piercing, just like me, maybe she wants to be my special friend ~" Deidara joined in, making stupid kissy noises.Pain shot them a glare but snorted with laughter in spite of himself. "Shut up!" he whispered, but too late. The girl shifted, blinked, and sat up." Oooh , the slobbering old perv boy woke her up~" Sasori sing-songed softly, but not soft enough.The girl glanced over at him, a little line between her eyebrows, before opening her mouth in a quiet yawn. She turned her head and froze, staring at Pain. Mid-yawn.Pain bit his lips to stop from laughing, and tried to look friendly, but also not look like he’d just been checking her out.-Konan stared. A boy. The boy. The guy with the purple eyes and piercings and bright orange hair, sitting next to her, drawing, his wrist flexing, tendons... tendoning... and she still had her mouth open! She shut it with a snap and looked away, cheeks burning. 
Earth, please open up and swallow me now… just a big yawning chasm to take me away… That would be great, thanks bestie.
She could feel the boy's eyes on her, and started to refill her led pencil like it was the most important thing in the world to avoid meeting his gaze. The back of her neck was burning."Are you new here?" The boy asked. He had a nice voice. Easy, nice to listen to.Konan turned to face him. It was hard to meet his violet eyes without feeling her face heat up... and she really didn't want 'tomato-head' to be the first thing he thought when talking to her."Uh, yes. I got here yesterday.""You in fifth year?""Uh-huh."The boy smiled. His grin was fox-like, mischievous. He looked like an easy laugher. "I'm Pain," he said.Konan nodded at him. "Nice to meet you."Pain waited a beat and then snorted. "You know, when someone introduces themself, it is kind of common practice to return the favour."Konan laughed. “Sorry! I thought you had more to say... I'm Konan.""That’s a pretty name.""Thank you!""Suits you.""Um, thanks... Is Pain a, uh, family name, or...?"Pain laughed, and glanced up — then abruptly turned back to her. She turned to look at what he'd seen, but he quickly said, "I like your nail polish!" in an unnecessarily loud voice.Konan looked over anyway, just in time to see the dusky redhaired boy and his blond friend making kissy noises and whispering something before they saw her looking and immediately pretended to be deep in loud conversation about the seating plan. Feeling awkward, Konan looked at her nails. "Um, thank you." They had a black base coat, with white flowers splattered with tiny red bloodstains. She'd done them when watching Audition on her phone at the bus depot."What did you use for the blood spatter? A toothpick?" Pain asked. Konan blinked in surprise that he was asking her about her nail art technique of all things."Um, I didn't have one... I used the back of my earring.""Really?" Pain leaned closer. "May I?" he asked, holding out his hand.Hardly breathing, Konan nodded and lifted hers. He took it gently, tilting her fingers to the light. His hand was cool, with small calluses on the palm and fingers. She wondered if he was taking metalshop or woodworking or something. He smelled like wood smoke, white musk, and clean laundry. Konan caught herself noticing this and flushed, clearing her throat."It... it was kind of stupid, because the polish dried on the stud back and it took ages to get off, and I still haven't worn that pair again, but, um..." Konan trailed off, feeling silly. Why did she have to ramble now , when he was so close, looking up at her, looking interested, a small smile on his face!? She knew she was blushing, she knew it . He smiled wider. Fuck! His eyes were mesmerizing... "Um..." 
WHAT IS HAPPENING!?
The kissing noises from the next table were getting louder. Konan looked over again. The two boys were clearly cracking themselves up laughing at them."Let me take your hand and kiss it , mwah , my lady..."" Oooh , so romantic, so dashing... ""If we kiss, will our piercings get stuck together?""Oh I hope so, and then we can crabwalk through the metal detector gates of life together..."Konan took her hand back, raising her eyebrows at Pain, who had straightened up and was watching the two boys, too. It looked like he was caught between a scowl, a weary sigh, and amusement."Friends of yours?" Konan asked."No, I've never seen them before in my life," Pain said immediately. Konan bit down on a smile.The other boys had plainly heard him and looked offended. They stood up and walked over, the blonde huffily crossing his arms, the redhead strolling with his hands in his pockets."Sooo... Mister hilarious..." the redhead said coolly, slinging an arm around Pain's neck and fixing Konan with a little smile. "Gonna introduce us?""I thought you didn't know them," Konan said to Pain with a grin."You're ashamed of us?" the other boy said dramatically, clutching his heart. "What are we, chopped liver?""You're about to be," Pain said, lifting the boy's arm off his neck."Ignore them," the blonde boy said to Konan, leaning against her desk. "What's your name?""Konan.""Cool. I'm Deidara, and this dickhead is Sasori, hm.""Um, I beg your pardon," Sasori said, freeing himself from the tiny girly slapfight he had been having with Pain and leaning across the table to gaze dreamily into Konan's eyes. "Don't get distracted by these peasants, angel. It's just you and me and—hey!"Deidara had seized the neck of his shirt and yanked him back off the table."Stop being a creep. Don't scare the new girl." "Somebody's jealous," Sasori said sweetly. Deidara let go of him like he was dropping a spider and scoffed.  "I'm trapped in this relationship, save me, " Sasori whispered loudly to Konan, earning himself another yank backwards from Deidara. "What classes are you in?" Sasori asked, relaxing into Deidara's grip at once and tilting his head back to rest on the blond's shoulder. Deidara gazed at the ceiling clearly thinking, Lord, give me strength. Konan showed them her schedule."Cool, you're in sculpture, painting, and drawing with me, hm." Deidara said, and Konan smiled back.Sasori examined her schedule. "Let's see...you've got gym with me, Pain, and Hidan every day... You'll like Hidan. Well," he corrected himself, "You'll probably hate him at first. We all did, you get over it," he said, totally casual like this was a normal way to recommend new acquaintances. "Drawing, obviously...metalshop...and that's it." He handed her schedule to Pain, who gave him a sardonic smile before scanning the list."Drawing, gym, metalshop, and sculpture," he said. Konan smiled."Nice," she said, folding her schedule back up. "Are you guys all in fifth year?"They all nodded. Sasori was giving her a rather thorough once-over with his dreamy eyes. Konan shot him a deadpan, unimpressed look when she saw him raise his eyebrows at her chest."Can I help you?" she asked him tartly, crossing her arms."You don't look seventeen," he said, totally unashamed of being caught staring. "Flat as a —" he hissed at Pain, who cleared his throat loudly right as Deidara yanked again on the back of his shirt, cutting him off."Yeah, well, I'm sixteen. And I might not be a D-cup, but at least I'm not, what... 5'4?” she said, arching her eyebrows and pointedly staring right over Sasori's head.Pain and Deidara snorted with laughter. Deidara caught sight of Sasori's sour look and laughed even harder." Anyway ," Sasori said waspishly. "Why are you in fifth year, then?""I'm born in October."“I mean, people born in fall and winter also exist…”  Deidara said, rolling his eyes at Sasori."So, you're a Libra?" Sasori asked with a snort, ignoring Deidara. Konan had the feeling he was trying to regain some sense of dignity and disdain.  He's kind of cute, she thought. In a vain, bratty little baby way. "Uh huh.""Remind me never to ask for your opinion on anything... like what to have for dinner..." Sasori said out of the corner of his mouth."Nah, man, Libras are cool," Pain said, folding his arms and leaning back. "Aren't they supposed to give great advice?""Says here," said Deidara, looking at his phone, "Libras are diplomatic and urbane, romantic and charming, easygoing and sociable. And also indecisive, easily led, gullible, and flirtatious, hm."The three boys looked at Konan. She felt like a fish in a tank."Well?" Sasori said expectantly, propping his head on his chin and fluttering his lashes at her."Well what?" Konan asked, feeling awkward."Flirt with us. Prove you're a Libra. Defend the noble legacy of your zodiac sign," he said playfully.Konan blinked at him. He blinked back. "Um..."Sasori bowed his head in despair. "She's terrible," he said. "Can't flirt to save her life, poor thing.""Ah, I’m sure she’s not so bad," Pain said. He met her gaze and gave her a tiny wink.Sasori pretended to be sick into Pain’s pencil case, and Deidara shot him a supremely unimpressed look. "Gross," he said. "Stop it. You look like Troy Bolton."Pain stuck his tongue out at Sasori. Konan saw a flash of silver. “You have a tongue piercing!? That’s so cool!” she exclaimed.Pain blinked at her in surprise. “Oh, thanks!” The other boys rolled their eyes but Konan ignored them, asking Pain when he got it, if it hurt, what the healing time had been, so excited because she’d always kind of wanted one herself.The bell rang. Pain asked if she wanted to eat lunch with them and their friends, and she accepted, happy that this time she would be eating with people who (presumably) wouldn't be yelling "OMG" out loud every ten seconds.They all filled their lunch trays (Konan took another apple, juice, and a roasted veggie sandwich) and they all sat down at a long table, where a handful of other teenage boys were already sitting. There was just enough room. Konan squeezed between Deidara and Pain, and across from a guy with fine black hair tied in a low ponytail, dark red eyes, and deep eyebags."Yo Pain! Who's the lady?" A voice called from down the table. Konan glanced over to see who had spoken, and met the gaze of a burly blue guy with indigo hair and sharp teeth. 
Um, okay...
"That's Kisame," Deidara said next to her."This is Konan. She's new, and she's in our year," Pain said to Kisame, who nodded, gave Konan a little wave, and went back to absolutely demolishing his meatball sub. Pain continued with introductions, pointing to Hidan (a tall guy with slicked back silver hair and magenta eyes, shirt open on his bare chest); Kakuzu (another super tall guy with olive skin covered in stitches, long brown hair, and odd green eyes); and Itachi (the black-haired boy with the ponytail)."...and that's everybody," Pain said and grinned. "You have a lot of piercings," she blurted out, having just noticed about six more in his ears. He laughed."I sure do.""Is that your only one?" Sasori asked, pointing at Konan's mouth. She shook her head."I have ear piercings, a bellybutton piercing, uh, a nape piercing... Umm..." She met Sasori's dreamy gaze and wondered if she should mention her nipple piercings. Um, maybe not. "And... some tattoos.""Nice! Me too. What do you have?" Deidara asked, leaning over to her. Konan glanced at his hands holding his sandwich and caught sight of two matching mouths on the palms of his hands. That must have hurt... "Just a couple things here and there. Origami crane, origami flower," she said, pointing at her ankle and inner wrist. "I got a big back piece this summer, though! Angel wings," she said happily. She loved them. They curved over her shoulders in a graceful spread, ending above her tailbone. The tattoo cost on top of the fee she'd paid for an actor to pretend to be her dad to sign the consent form had taken most of her summer job earnings, but it was so worth it."Cool! Any others?" Deidara asked enthusiastically."Yeah—""Where?" Sasori asked flirtatiously."Somewhere you'll never see," she responded cheekily."We'll see about that," Sasori said sweetly. "I can be very persuasive."Deidara mimed shoving Sasori's face down into his pasta salad. Konan laughed."Your door has a lock on it, right?" Pain asked. Konan nodded. "Good. You might need it," he grinned.The bell rang, and they put away their recycling and trays, and headed to gym. Pain, Sasori, and Hidan were all in the same class with Konan. They separated to change. Konan found a locker, pulled out her gym uniform, and started to change. She'd pulled on the black shorts and had just taken off her top, about to pull on the grey t-shirt, when Ino and Sakura came up to her, both smiling."Hey Konan!""Hey!" she said. "I guess gym class is mixed with fourth and fifth years?""Yeah," Ino said. Her eyes dropped to Konan's chest. She seemed to raise her eyebrow slightly at her black lace bra. Konan pulled the grey shirt on quickly, feeling awkward all of a sudden. Was Ino judging her on the bra, her nipple piercings, her small boobs, or something else entirely? Or was it that Konan had forgotten a sports bra? Or was she misreading the whole thing? "So... you're sure becoming a favourite with the boys in your year," Ino said. "All of them."Konan frowned. "I wouldn't say that."Sakura leaned against the wall and gave her a conspiratorial smile, like an invitation to share. "Come on , Konan. You sat with them at lunch. We heard they were all over you in your first class! Somebody's popular, huh?"Konan shifted uncomfortably as she folded up her pinafore and put it in her locker. "Who's been saying that?"Ino didn't answer. She gave Konan a concerned look that somehow didn't seem very genuine. Maybe it was the distracting glitter lipgloss she seemed to have put on since breakfast. "Really, Konan. People are going to start talking about you. It's bad enough you're sleeping in the boy's room. If rumours start that you're flirting with them, or dating them, or—" She dropped her voice, but not quite as much as Konan would have liked. "—or worse, screwing around with them, then..." She pulled a concerned face. "It won't do anything good for your reputation. And who knows who it could get back to."Konan raised her eyebrows and folded her arms. "But I only told you two I'm in the boy's dorm. How could anyone else know about it?"" Please. Use your common sense, Konan. Word travels fast around here. We were probably overheard," Ino said like she was talking to a toddler.Konan was starting to get pissed off. What's it to her? Did I ask for any of her fake-friend 'concern' for my 'virtue'? Come on! "What, do I have a neon sign saying 'whore' flashing above my head? Or is that just happening for you?" she snapped."You—""Girls, hurry up!" The teacher roared through the door, making them all jump. "All the boys are ready! Chop chop!"Konan shouldered her way past the other girls and left the change room. She spotted Pain and the others sitting on a bench, a little separated from another cluster of boys who she imagined were the fourth years. She recognized Sasuke Uchiha, who looked to be giving a snippy retort to the blonde boy next to him. Konan huffed over to her new friends. She realized that her face must show how annoyed she was, because Pain raised his eyebrows at her, and Deidara looked over, concerned."Who spat in your mouthwash?" he asked, but she didn't get a chance to reply.Might Guy, the gym teacher, came up right behind her and bellowed, so she jumped about three feet in the air, "Ten laps! Round the gym, let's go, go, GOOOOOO!"They all leapt to their feet and started running.Sasuke was the fastest. Hidan was near the front of the pack, too. Sasori and Pain kept pace with Konan, although she could tell that Pain at least was definitely being slower than usual on purpose. Ino and Sakura were all the way at the back, probably going slow enough to talk, and to see Sasuke when he inevitably lapped them, Konan thought peevishly."What happened?" Sasori asked her on their second lap.Konan made an annoyed sound between breaths. "Ino and Sakura basically called me a slut and said the whole school is going to think I'm sleeping with everybody. And Ino was acting like it wasn't them who told everyone, when it so obviously was, because they're the only ones who know I'm sleeping in the boys' dorm."Sasori almost tripped."Wait.. that's you!?" Konan frowned. "Who's me?""The lunatic who nearly made Hidan piss himself this morning and interrupted my beauty sleep!?" Sasori exclaimed. Pain burst out laughing.Konan started to laugh, too. "Um, well I don't know about that , but... I guess so?""You made that fake body out of paper?" Pain asked, sounding impressed. Konan nodded, and he whistled. "It was so cool.""Thanks! Wait..." Konan's eyes narrowed as she looked suspiciously between them. "Then... it was you guys who put that stupid rubber spider in my shower!?""Um..." Pain said, grinning. "I mean it wasn't my idea..."Sasori was laughing, but abruptly stopped when he caught Konan's expression."We really should be taking these laps seriously," Sasori said abruptly and picked up the pace. Pain followed suit."Hey! Get back here!" Konan yelled, sprinting after them. They were all laughing by now. Konan kept smiling the whole rest of gym class, having fun teasing the others. She couldn't believe how happy she felt... It was like they'd been friends for years already.They were playing volleyball that class. The teacher called for everyone to make groups of four. Before Konan could say anything, Pain had slung an arm around her shoulders and pulled her towards Hidan and Sasori. She was surprised, but so relieved she couldn’t help smiling. 
And here I was scared of being picked last...
Konan was so happy... until she learned, very very quickly, that she sucked at volleyball. In her defense, she hadn't had a lot of opportunity to play any team sports, but somehow that didn't totally account for how terrible she was."What the fuck!" Hidan yelled as her serve hit him in the back of the head for the third time, messing up his hair. The only silver lining was that her serve was so floppy that it wasn't very hard, but still."I'm sorry!" she said, grabbing the ball again and psyching herself up for a fourth try, trying to ignore Sasori and Pain, who were laughing."You know what, I'm switching teams. You try dodging these fucking daisy shots at your head," Hidan said, ducking under the net, slapping Pain on the back and pushing him towards Konan. She grimaced at him, but he gave her a thumbs up."Okay, this time..." she said, throwing the ball up and bending her arm back, trying to time it right, trying not to notice Pain squatting lower and lower, clearly to get his head out of her line of sight. She swung her arm down hard, made contact with the ball with a loud smack, and sent it flying in a direct arc, skimming the net, heading right on target... Smack. "ARGH! FUCK!"Just not the right target. The ball had sped at high velocity right into Hidan's crotch, and probably because he hadn’t expected it to make it over the net at all, he hadn’t even been looking.They all burst out laughing. Sasori looked like he was going to cry, he was laughing so hard. Hidan definitely was crying, clutching his junk and rolling on the ground.The rest of the volleyball game continued a little more normally, once Hidan had recovered. Sasori and Hidan beat them, but not by a catastrophic margin, mostly due to Pain's good reflexes. He high-fived her when she scored her single point, and Konan grinned back at him. She decided that she was actually going to have a great time at St Misery. No matter how unfortunate the name of the school was.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

After gym, they changed and trooped back to their dorm before dinner.

They passed Ino and Sakura on the way. Konan was about to say hi when a boy's voice from somewhere in the scrum of students pressing to get into the main hall snickered, "Don't wear out your new

roommate

on the first night. I want a turn..."

Ino crossed her arms and gave Konan a burning look. She turned away with a disgusted sigh, tossing her long blonde ponytail. Sakura followed.

Konan scoffed in annoyance.

Um... what the heck was that about?

She couldn't see why Ino would be pissed about someone making that kind of comment about

her

, but hey. Maybe it was a highschool girl thing.

Maybe it's like Mean Girls?

Maybe Ino didn't like Konan getting 'attention' instead of her?

If that's true, she's got some fucking problems.

Ino was right, though: the word had spread.

Konan looked into the crowd of faces as they passed, seeing if anybody met her gaze. She heard another low mutter and laughter — "Is she taking an elective in sucking dick?" — and whipped around, staring.

Who is it? Who would...

The guys had heard too, this time. She saw Sasori glance back at Pain, who had shifted slightly closer to Konan. She could feel his arm hovering behind her, like he was worried someone would try grab her. Hidan started yelling at the people ahead to move faster and let them through. Konan listened hard, tuning out the dozens of jabbering voices around her, focusing on that low, venomous mocking, the high laughter.

"She doesn't have any fucking tits. Ugh..."

"So? She'll be available, and she's got three holes and hair to pull. Good enough for me..."

"The 5th years shouldn't be hogging her. Cut a hole in the wall so everyone can get some. Or send her room to room. Pussy delivery service..."

The others had heard too, and turned as one, voices rising with angry retorts, and Pain had stepped forward suddenly, but Konan got there first.

She found the guy, stormed up to him. He looked at her mockingly and mimed sucking a dick, raising a fist and pushing his tongue to the side of his cheek. She punched him in the throat.

The kid grabbed at his neck, gasping and retching. The crowd shuffled backward into each other, gasping and laughing. His friend who had been grinning tried to melt into the background, but Hidan waded in and shoved him into a locker, while Pain grabbed the first boy by the face and slammed his head into the wall.

The crowd started to yell 'Fight! Fight! Fight' and surged forward around them. Konan was pushed sideways and stumbled. Sasori grabbed her and held her upright. She heard him say something to Pain, then he took her by the hand.

"Let's leave them to it, shall we?" he said. There was a tiny soft note in his usual blasé, teasing voice.

Konan shrugged, taking a last look at the boy she'd punched. He looked fourteen, greasy-faced, with stiff black hair. He was still bent-double, struggling for air. Pain yanked him up by the collar of his shirt and was hissing something in his face. She saw Tsunade at the other end of the hall, clearly yelling for quiet but she could barely be heard over the noise of the crowd. Konan turned and pushed her way through with Sasori.

They broke free of the scrum into a smaller hallway, taking the long way to their dorm rooms. Sasori walked next to her, hands in his pockets. Konan couldn't think what to say. She bit her lips, head down. She knew she was angry, but her emotions felt like a tangled, chaotic mess inside her, and she couldn’t think properly. Her brain wouldn't work. She was just staring down, feeling her heart pounding and her cheeks starting to prickle with shame.

She had expected a rough transition, from scattered homeschooling, online courses, the occasional term with a private tutor, straight to boarding school. She hadn't expected

this.

Am I just fucking naïve? What should I have done differently? Is the same thing going to happen tomorrow, and the day after?

For a brief moment, Konan imagined what would happen if she tried to call her dad and ask to leave the school. She'd probably talk to five different people, none of whom could reach him, sit on hold for an hour, then be told that 'his instructions had remained unchanged'. Because that's what they

always

said.

What that boy was saying... is that what EVERYONE is thinking?

Konan wondered.

To her horror, her eyes started to burn and her throat was tightening.

I can't fucking cry NOW!! Oh my god…

She turned away from Sasori and looked at the wall, blinking fast and breathing slowly.

Calm down, calm down.

She could feel Sasori's eyes on her, but thankfully he didn't say anything.

By the time they got close to the boy's hall, she was back in control. The last thing she needed was for people to start calling her a crybaby…

At the entrance, they met Hidan and Pain.

"Hey fuckos!" Hidan greeted them. He had a bruise on his cheekbone but looked in extremely good spirits. "You missed a fucking

amazing

fight, it was gonna be fucking sick. I had that little bitch up against the wall, he was fucking

pissing

himself." He ran a hand through his short silver hair and groaned. "I've been needing this, I've been so pent up—

"

"Yes, we all know what a stressful life you lead, what with all the skipping class… sleeping… skipping

more

class…" Sasori said drily.

"Fuck off," Hidan said laughing. "But seriously man, it was great. But then Tsunaboobs came over, pissed as shit, yelling her head off."

"And?" Sasori prompted.

"And... Pain and I got fucking detention over the weekend." Hidan rolled his eyes. "

With

those little shitstains.”

“Oh no!” Konan said, looking at Pain.

He didn’t meet her gaze. His jaw was clenched tightly and he was flexing his hands. She swallowed, noticing his knuckles were red and raw, the skin scraped off in places. She glanced away again, getting the feeling he didn’t want her to look at him.

“Hey, it’s nothing. The

good

news is that everybody’s on fucking lockdown tonight, and you know what that means!” Hidan said with a huge smile. “Pizza party!!”

Konan half-laughed, confused. “Wait, what?”

Sasori explained as they headed through the hall door towards the 5th year dorm rooms. “‘Lockdown’ basically means the staff don’t want to risk cramming everyone all together again for dinner in the cafeteria. So we all get locked in the dorms early as a ‘containment strategy.’ But they still need to

feed

us, and the easiest way to do that is with…”

“Pizza!” crowed Hidan again, parting the way in front of him with both hands like the prow of a ship, scattering a huddle of thirteen-year-olds.

Konan smiled along with Hidan, but it didn’t quite take. She was still worried about what the next day might be like, after this whole situation. She tried to catch Pain’s eye to ask if he was okay, but as if he sensed the impending question, he lengthened his stride, getting to the 5th year doors ahead of them.

Konan bit her lips, trying to tell herself this didn’t mean anything, but she felt Sasori’s eyes on her again. She picked up the pace too, hurrying into the dorm room while trying not to meet the gaze of any of the other boys in the hall.

“I’m just going to have a shower,” she muttered as soon as she got in and sped down the hall. She opened her door, zipped inside, shut it behind her, and drew the bolt across it as fast as she could, then pressed her back to the door with a huge sigh.

It had been a

long

day. She looked around the room. It still felt unfamiliar. Not like home. She unlaced her Docs and threw them, maybe a little harder than she would on a different day, into the corner. She flopped face-down on the bed and gave a little moan.

I hate it here. Hate it, hate it, HATE it.

She released a huge sigh into the duvet, then levered herself up and took off her uniform. She grabbed a towel and headed to the bathroom. At least there wasn’t a huge fake spider in it today…

She locked the door and slammed the tap as hot as it would go, watching herself in the mirror until the glass steamed over. She looked shadowy, shaky. Her cheeks were still a little red, her eyelashes still a little wet.

I don’t want to be here.

She took a long shower. She just stood under the spray for a while, replaying the day, trying to gain a little perspective. Her classes had been good, volleyball was good. A pretty good day overall, until it all went wrong.

She washed her hair, lathered up her jasmine body wash, shaved her legs. Did everything she could think to do to postpone the moment she had to step out and go back into the real world.

Wrapped in a towel, she sat at her desk drying her hair and listening to music. She wondered if the guys thought she was crying. Or if they weren’t thinking about her at all, having moved on entirely from what had happened. Or if they were glad she was leaving them alone, so they could get back to normal without her. This train of thought left her feeling lonelier than ever.

By the time the smell of pizza floated tantalisingly under the door, making her stomach grumble, she was wearing plaid pyjama bottoms, fuzzy socks, an oversized hoodie, and she had braided her hair, put on her vanilla body butter, and was watching

Friends

on her laptop, fully in her self-care zone. She was just wondering how to sneak out for pizza without it being awkward, when someone knocked on her door.

“Konan, there’s pizza. You want pepperoni, vegetarian, or Hawaiian?” Deidara’s voice called.

“Also, we’re having a party,” Sasori said. “Let us in.”

Konan unlocked the door and barely got out of the way before Deidara and Sasori came in, followed by Hidan, Kakuzu, Itachi, Pain, and Kisame.

“Are we… hanging out in my room?” Konan asked, a little pointlessly as the boys all made themselves right at home.

Sasori put the pizza down on her table. Kakuzu tossed a stack of paper plates next to the boxes and cracked open a bottle of Jameson’s. Deidara flopped onto her bed. Hidan unstacked six shot glasses and took a swig from the tequila bottle he was holding. Kisame dropped a six pack on the floor and sat next to it, tearing one from the pack. Itachi was checking out her bathroom.

Pain came in last, holding a slice of pizza and a stack of paper plates. He gave Konan a swift smile, not totally meeting her gaze, then sat on her chair, leaning back and crossing his ankles. Konan looked around to see Sasori opening her drawers.

“Hey!” she exclaimed, seeing one of her bras in his hand. He laughed and twanged it at her like it was an elastic band.

She tossed it back at him “Those are expensive, you know!”

“Ooh, lacy. Who are you trying to impress?” he asked as he obediently put it back and shut the drawer.

Konan rolled her eyes. “God knows it’s not you. What is all this, anyway? Are you hoping Tsunade’s going to do an inspection and kick me out for all the alcohol in here, so you get your dorm back?”

Hidan snorted with laughter.

“Inspection…

” He said it like Konan had asked if bananas were carnivorous. “Fuck no. We’re holding a Welcome Party-slash-initiation-slash-sleepover. Or something. They do this in chick flicks, right? You like that shit, right?” he asked. “You’re a girl. I mean, close enough to one,” he said with a teasing smirk and a nod at her small boobs.

“Gee thanks.” Konan gave him the finger and laughed when the other boys went

ooooh

, like she’d done a magic trick. “It’s really nice of you to do this, though…”

“It was all Sasori’s idea,” Deidara said, sitting up and grinning when Sasori shot him a scowl.

“Well, wasn’t that nice of him?” Konan said sweetly, linking her hands behind her back and giving Sasori a big grin. “

Thaaaank youuuu, Sasoriii,”

she sing-songed.

Sasori mimed being sick into her underwear drawer. She laughed and went to grab pizza.

They finished the episode of

Friends,

since Konan already had it on, and then had a thirty minute discussion of what movie to watch before settling on

Scary Movie,

taking shots whenever someone said Cindy or Shorty, whenever somebody died, and whenever there was blood on screen. Konan had to give up and switch to water two-thirds into the movie.

Hidan spilled half the tequila on the floor while laughing and everyone else booed him and Kakuzu threw a pizza crust at his head. Konan got up to look for a mop and opened what she had taken for a supply closet on the far wall.

She stared uncomprehendingly for several moments at the inside of another bedroom. She’d had a few shots, sure, but surely she couldn’t be hallucinating?

“What is this?” she said, baffled.

It was a room similar to hers but different. The bed was against the other wall. Clothes were piled on the chair. What looked like a half-finished human-sized puppet sat in the corner. There were polaroid photos covering one wall.

“Uh… my room?” came Sasori’s voice from behind her.

It took a second for that to register.

“What?”

Sasori was lying on her bed with Deidara, smirking at her.

“Almost every dorm room has an adjoining door. Yours connects to the

other

5
th
year boy’s dorm, 5b, through my room. It used to be boarded up when nobody was staying in this room, but it looks like they’ve opened it all up again. They didn’t tell you?”

“Um, no?? I thought it was a closet!” Konan said indignantly, closing the door. “And it doesn’t even have a

lock!”

she exclaimed as the others laughed.

After all Shizune’s talk about locks and safety, there was a doorway straight to a boy right in her bedroom?

Her eyes fell on Sasori, curled up around Deidara. He gave her a wink.

Ugh. I guess it could be worse.

“Are you going to be

using

that door?” she asked suspiciously.

“All the time,” Sasori said with an evil smile.

“Of course you are,” she groaned.

—

“Let’s play Truth or Dare,” Deidara suggested.

“Booo,”

chorused several of the others, but Deidara sat up, not backing down.

“Come on, we want to get to know Konan, and this is her party, so she should get to decide. Do you want to play?” he asked her.

“Umm…

yes,”

she said laughing as Deidara cheered and Kakuzu threw a pillow at her.

They established ground rules (nothing unhygienic (“I am

not

licking any toilet seats,” Itachi had said firmly), no spiders (from Konan), nothing sexual, a group veto allowed with no penalty, if others agreed the dare was really bad), and a punishment for chickening out (deadlifting Kakuzu, or at least

trying to

– he looked to be 200 pounds of muscle).

“Okay, who wants to start?” Kisame asked, cracking open another beer.

“Ladies first,” Itachi said to Konan.

Konan looked around. They had more or less formed a circle, sitting or lying on the floor, except for Sasori and Deidara, who hadn’t given up the bed. She hadn’t played truth or dare since summer camp when she was seven, and that had mostly been daring each other to touch a slug and then screaming

ewww

when someone finally did.

“Okay… Sasori.” The redhead raised his eyebrows at her. Dediara nudged his shoulder, laughing. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth. Yes, okay, it

was

me who looked in your underwear drawer just now.”

Konan laughed. “No, um…” She had been

wanting

to ask, but didn’t want to make it awkward. “Are you…dating…” She glanced at Deidara, trying to read his face. She was

pretty

sure, but…

“Guys, Konan likes Sasori,” Hidan said in a very drunk non-whisper, holding his hand to the wrong side of his mouth for it to be secret.

Konan chucked one of her Docs at his head, then gasped and apologized when he didn’t dodge in time. “Hey!” he said, like two full seconds after it made contact.

“...Yeah, I’m switching this to water,” Pain said with a laugh, taking the tequila away from Hidan and getting up.

“Konan wants my tight, sexy body,” Sasori said, biting his lip.

Konan was laughing, waving her hand

no.

“No, no, no, no—”

“Okay, now you’re insulting me.”

“

No!

I mean, are you dating

Deidara,

or do you

want

to date Deidara?” she asked.

“Way to address the elephant in the room right off the bat,” Itachi said with a grin. “If ‘get a room’ was a person…”

“Yeah, do you have a big fat

crush

on me?” Deidara asked, turning to look at Sasori with a smirk.

Sasori rolled his eyes and bumped his forehead against Deidara’s affectionately. “You dummy.”

“To answer your question,” he said, turning to face Konan. “Yes, we’re dating. I finally gave in to his many charms last year after months and months of begging…”

“

Your

months and months of begging,” Deidara said, taking a swig of beer. Sasori bit his shoulder. “Hey!”

“Aww, you

guys!

I’ve been waiting for you crazy kids to get together,” Pain said sarcastically as he came back from the bathroom with a glass of water for Hidan.

It was Sasori’s turn. “Konan,” he said, giving her a wicked grin.

“Hey, why’re you going back to her again? What are we, chicken eggs?” Hidan slurred through his water glass.

“That’s not the phrase,” Kakuzu said.

“Fuck you, Mister-fuckin’-grammar-guy! It

is

a phrase. I’m phrasing it now, it’s phrased,” Hidan argued.

Kakuzu pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly thinking

Lord, give me strength

. Konan giggled.

“I’m just trying to get to know our new friend,” Sasori said innocently. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare…?” Konan said tentatively, nervous about what he might ask. At the look on his face, she quickly backtracked. “No, truth—”

“Too late!” he crowed. “I dare you to show me

all

of your piercings.”

“

Oooooh

” chorused the other boys. Konan rolled her eyes at the ceiling.

Jeez.

Sasori glanced at Pain with an innocent smile. “She said she had more, so…”

“Fine,” Konan sighed, getting up from the floor with a groan. “But we’re doing it in the bathroom.”

“We’re

doing it

in the

bathroom

,” Sasori repeated in a scandalous voice, shooting Deidara a teasing look. “Are you jealous?”

“Fuck no, I get the bed to myself,” the blonde said, stretching out luxuriously.

Sasori followed Konan to the bathroom. She snorted with laughter when she saw all the other guys leaning forward and staring in before she shut the door and locked it.

Once inside, Sasori stood innocently by the sink, hands behind his back. “So, why are we in here? You have a butt piercing?”

Konan laughed. “

No?

Do they do those?”

“You could ask Pain. He probably has some.”

Trying not to picture that, Konan lifted her hair. “Nape piercing,” she said, turning.

“Uh huh.”

“Labret,” she pointed to her lip.

“I hadn’t noticed,” Sasori said drily.

She pulled back her hair behind her left ear. “Industrial. Conch. Orbital,” she said, pointing.

“Very nice.”

She lifted her shirt to show her stomach. “Belly ring.”

“Ah yes.”

She gave him a look. “Are you going to tell other people about this?”

“That your belly button is an innie? For sure, I’m leading with that in all my conversations from now on,” he said drily.

She didn’t laugh. “No, the next one. Are you going to tell other people?”

“Other people like who? Anybody at all? Or,” he said, his expression shifting, reading her face. “You mean people who aren’t

us

, right?”

“I don’t want to get asked about this.” She pushed her lips out, thinking, on balance. “I guess I don’t mind if you tell the others, like Pain and Itachi and them, if it comes up or whatever, but I don’t want

other

people knowing.”

“I won’t tell.” he said simply. She believed him.

Konan reached behind her back and undid her bra. Sasori raised his eyebrows but didn’t say anything. She lifted her shirt and bra up to show her nipple piercings.

There was a beat. Then— “Very tasteful,” Sasori said politely. They looked at each other and then burst out laughing.

“Gee, thanks,” Konan laughed, re-fastening her bra.

“Now where’s this secret tattoo you were talking about…?” Sasori asked before laughing as Konan shoved him.

They emerged from the bathroom to several wolf whistles.

“You guys, under her clothes her body is completely

made of piercings!”

Sasori exclaimed as he made his way back over to Deidara.

Konan sat back down, readjusting her bra strap, which had twisted. She looked up to see Sasori leaning down and whispering in Pain’s ear.

She raised her eyebrows at Sasori when he finished, and he blew her a kiss. “You said you didn’t mind!”

“It’s true, I don’t,” she said sweetly. “But it’s also my turn again now.”

She grinned at Pain, who gave her a small smile back, looking a bit pink. He’d had quite a bit to drink, too. “Pain, Truth or Dare?”

“Dare.”

“I dare

you

to show Sasori all of

your

piercings.” A knowing laugh flickered around the circle.

“Sure thing,” Pain said with a grin, getting up.

Sasori gave her a horrified look. She blew a kiss right back at him. “Have fun!”

“Come on, Sasori, let’s go to the bathroom!” Pain said cheerfully, taking his friend’s hand and skipping his way there to a chorus of laughter.

Konan grabbed another slice of pizza, did another shot of Jamo’s with Kisame, and had started a conversation with Itachi about his performance art classes while they waited.

After about five minutes, there was a sudden yell — “MY EYES!

MY EYES! Put it away, put it away!!

” — and everyone burst out laughing. Konan thought she was going to

cry

she was laughing so hard.

Truth or Dare continued from there. Pain asked Kakuzu if he had any secret talents, to which he revealed that he did stock trading online and had never lost money.

Kakuzu dared Hidan to solve a long division question by himself with no help, which took several tries and naturally involved a lot of foul language.

Hidan dared Itachi to wear his hair in pigtails for the rest of the game, which earned him a very sour look.

Itachi asked Konan what the biggest lie she’d ever told was. Konan had to think for a while, but eventually told them about the time she’d gotten her dad’s old secretary on board to pretend she was attending a week-long etiquette intensive, when she was actually hitchhiking her way to a Paramore concert.

Konan dared Kisame to do the worm, which was amazing until it came to an abrupt end after he landed on a bottle opener.

Kisame dared Deidara to cut his hair, to which everyone else used the group veto. Kisame then dared Deidara to take Kakuzu’s socks off with his teeth, to a chorus of

ewws.

Deidara, after begging Konan for mouthwash and then gargling loudly in the bathroom, dared Konan to guess how many people each of them had dated.

“That’s hard!” she said. “I mean, how am I supposed to know?”

“Give it your best guess,” came Deidara’s voice from the bathroom before he starting gargling

again

.

“Okay, now that’s just insulting,” Kakuzu said.

Konan bit her lips. “Ugh, I’m bad at guessing this kind of thing. Um…” She looked around. “Okay, for ‘dated’, are we counting like… made out with someone at a party, or like, hooked up with someone a few times but no labels, or…?”

“

Someone’s

got a big number,” Hidan whispered to Itachi, this time ducking the Doc Martin that came flying at his head, which meant it hit Kisame instead.

“Sorry! And you, be quiet.” Konan said, blushing.

“Say actual dating, like labels, the whole thing. Or…

close

to labels. If we don’t narrow it down, I’m not gonna be able to come up with a number that’s under forty,” Sasori said before Deidara smushed his face down into the pillow.

“You slut,” he said, but he was grinning.

“Okay, okay.” Konan looked around the room. “Kisame, two. Kakuzu… two? Hidan… three. Itachi, one, or two… Deidara…” She pursed her lips and tilted her head, looking at him. He grinned at her. “Mmm… I’m going to guess… like… three? No, four.” Deidara glanced at Sasori, who was giving him a disbelieving look, and laughed. “Pain… maybe two or three? And Sasori…” Sasori winked at her. “One.”

He gaped at her as everyone burst out laughing. “What the heck?? You think I have less game than

Kisame?

” he said in shock, earning himself a kick from the boy in question.

Konan laughed, shaking her head. “I mean, you don’t have to tell me if I’m right! But, I dunno, you just kind of…” Her nose wrinkled a little as she smiled, thinking. “To me, as a first impression, you kind of come off like… you’ve probably fooled around with quite a few people, maybe gotten together with a few people, and you’ve probably kind of ghosted them. Maybe you’ve flirted around a lot, and hooked up some, but I don’t think you’ve

dated

anybody except for Deidara. Just my impression,” she said when he looked genuinely shocked.

“I mean… you’re right, for him at least,” Pain said with a grin, looking at Sasori.

Deidara bumped his forehead into Sasori’s shoulder. Sasori was giving Konan a funny look, like she had impressed him.

“You’re good at reading people,” was all he said. She raised her glass to him and finished her drink.

“How off was I with everybody else?” she asked.

“

Way

off,” Kisame said with a bark of laughter. Hidan was shaking his head, but Deidara said she was about right with him.

“Okay,” she said. “Fine. Fair’s fair. Sasori, how much dating experience do you think

I

have?”

“Will you tell us if I guess wrong?” he asked.

Konan bit her lips. Earlier, she would have found this embarrassing. But she was comfortable with all of them now… and she was pretty tipsy. “Sure.”

Sasori looked her up and down, tilting his head sideways. “I think… I think you’ve had one serious boyfriend, but you’ve gone out with like three people, you’ve hooked up at a few parties, maybe made out with a few people on nights out.”

Konan smiled at him. “Wrong, wrong, wrong, right.”

The others gaped at her for a second. “Am I not allowed to have

not

dated anybody?” she demanded.

“But… the

nipple piercings!

” Sasori said in shock, which earned Konan some raised eyebrows and wolf whistles from the group.

“Thanks for waiting thirty minutes before telling everyone here,” Konan said sarcastically. “And I got those for me, because

I

like them. You think I was seriously going to pierce my nips for someone I might only date for a month!? They took way longer than that to heal fully!!” she exclaimed.

Pain, still a little pink from the beer, nodded and shrugged, making an expression like

‘fair enough.’

“Nobody’s ever asked you out?” Kisame asked, eyebrows raised.

Konan blushed. “I mean… No?”

“Nobody at your last school asked you to a dance or anything?” Pain asked, disbelief clear on his face.

Konan stuck her lips out, tilting her head to the side. “I mean… I didn’t really go to a

school

-school before this, and we didn’t have any dances…”

“What the hell?” Hidan asked.

“I got tutored a lot,” Konan explained. “And I was doing school online for years. My mom has been sick for a really long time, and she keeps getting all these different treatments, so I would do online school when I was living with her, or near the hospital… but sometimes my dad would want me to come with him when he went somewhere for business, so then I would get tutors, or sometimes just help out at his work, like, front desk stuff.”

She shrugged. “So, no school dances or anything. But I mean… I was friends with the kids of some of his secretaries and some of the security folks and stuff. We used to go out and party, or you know… hang out at the mall or whatever. House parties. We made out sometimes, but then I’d have to leave, or go home to mom, so… it didn’t really go anywhere with anybody…”

She trailed off. Everyone was staring at her.

“Guys or girls?” asked Sasori after a minute.

Konan laughed. “Um, actually it was mostly girls, but I don’t mind either way, so...”

More staring. She cleared her throat, feeling her face heating up.

“

Anyway

…. Sasori, Truth or Dare?”

The game continued for another half hour or so. Eventually everyone got too tired and decided to call it a night. They cleaned up the mess and folded up the pizza boxes before heading out. Konan waved them out of her room, saying good night.

Sasori went out his own private exit straight to his room in the other dorm. Konan shut it behind him and propped her chair against the door handle. “I heard that, and my feelings are hurt!” he called from the other side of the door.

After brushing her teeth and another shower to get the pizza smell off her, Konan changed into her pyjamas and slipped into bed.

It had been a

long

day. But a pretty good one.

She thought about that afternoon, that younger boy hissing things about her to his friends. She hadn’t thought about it for hours, which was nice. She remembered feeling Sasori’s eyes on her as she had turned away to cry. Remembered Deidara saying the party was Sasori’s idea.

I wonder if he wanted to cheer me up. He’s a real softy, under all that… Sasori-ness.

She closed her eyes. Just before falling asleep, she thought about Pain’s eyes flashing with anger. His arm curled around her protectively. His hand grabbing that boy’s face, slamming him into the wall like he barely weighed anything. His mouth curving up, almost predatory, as he hissed threats into his ear. After, his jaw clenched, his hands flexing, veins visible up his wrist, knuckles scraped raw…

Konan felt her face go hot again. She pulled the covers over her head, but couldn’t shake Pain’s blazing eyes out of her mind, his hands, the curve of flexed muscle in his arms, the

slam

of the boy’s head into the wall.

For a second she imagined herself there instead, Pain pinning her arms over her head, pressing her against the wall, violet eyes gazing down at her, his jaw tense, lips parted, face flushed, breathing hard, his mouth inches away from hers, her gaze on his tongue piercing, imagining what it will feel like, his free hand skimming down her body…

Oh my god. This is bad.

—----

The next day was a holiday, so Konan hadn’t set an alarm, intending to sleep in. She was, however, woken by banging on the door from Sasori’s room as he tried to shift the chair she’d propped against it.

“Konan, can I use your shower?”

“Go away,” she mumbled.

“Konaaaaaaaan~!”

“Go away!!”

“I know you’re awake~! Can I use your shooooweerrrrrrr?”

Konan’s eyes snapped open.

Is this what it’s like having a little brother!?? Maybe if I just pretend to be asleep…

As if he knew exactly what she was thinking, Sasori said, “I’m not gonna go away until you let me in~!

Konaaaan…. Konaaaaan….. My love, my angle… don’t treat me like potato….”

Konan groaned and rolled out of bed, stumbling to the adjoining door and kicking the chair out of the way.

“Thank you, gorgeous!” Sasori said with a smirk at her sleep-crusted eyes, messy hair, and matching grunt of annoyance. He flounced past her in his underwear, a towel over his arm, and shut her bathroom door behind him

“I didn’t need to see that,” she said.

She heard the squeak of the shower turning on, then the rush of water. She crawled back into bed, but couldn’t get back to sleep because Sasori was singing a terrible rendition of ‘Angel of the Morning’ over and over again, totally out of his range and out of key.

After fifteen minutes, the tap shut off. She heard a stream of water splashing, a satisfied

“AAahhhhhhhh”

and then the flush of the toilet.

“I didn’t need to hear that,” Konan groaned.

A minute later, she heard the click of the door as Sasori came out.

“Good morning again, my angel—” he began.

“Wash your damn hands,” Konan grunted, eyes shut, pillow held firmly over her face to block out the light.

There was a momentary silence, then the sound of the tap and a load of dark muttering.

“It’s not my fault you’re gross,” she called.

“Of course not,” came Sasori’s sweet voice from the end of her bed. A second later, his freezing cold damp hands had slipped under the blankets and grabbed hold of her feet.

“HEY!”

Konan kicked at him, but he was too fast. He ran, snickering, and had headed out her main door before she’d detangled herself. She threw her pillow after him anyway.

“And

stay

out!”

Since there was no chance of getting back to sleep now, she stumped to the bathroom. Might as well start getting up.

She pulled off her pyjama shirt and pants and tossed them in the corner, eyes as close to shut as she could get away with. She slipped on a puddle Sasori had left on the floor and banged her arm on the towel rail on the way in. Reached absent-mindedly for the shower curtain only to remember there wasn’t one.

Mental note: ask for a shower curtain. And/or order one online. Does Amazon deliver here??

She fumbled for the tap, then sighed gratefully as a stream of hot water burst down on her. After a few minutes she started to wake up properly and lathered up her loofah.

“Sasori, you better not have used this…” she muttered. She

really

didn’t want to check for suspicious hairs. She would choose the bliss of ignorance on this day…

“Sasori?” called Deidara’s voice from inside her room.

Why am I not surprised,

Konan thought, rolling her eyes. It seemed that she was just going to have to get used to her room being a thoroughfare for the others.

She glanced at the bathroom door as she washed her arms, and saw with a heart-stopping lurch that she had forgotten to lock it in her near-comatose daze.

“Sasori,” came Deidara’s voice,

way

closer.

“Wait—” Konan began, but she had hardly raised her voice before the bathroom door swung open.

“Are you— OHMYGOD!” Deidara yelled when he saw her.

“IT’S

ME,

GO AWAY!!” Konan shouted, throwing the loofah at his head and trying to cover herself.

Deidara staggered backwards, clutching the loofah, eyes squeezed shut, and closed the door, shouting apologies.

Konan caught her breath, then pressed her head against the side of the shower.

I have been at this school for less than two full days. And already,

two

of the guys I live with have seen me partly naked, and completely naked. Fuck. My. Actual. Life.

She took extra long in the shower. Dried off extremely thoroughly. Blow dried her hair. Tied her towel around herself very firmly, using a second towel as a shawl for

extra

coverage before exiting the shower to retrieve her clothes. She locked the bathroom door firmly and got changed, then emerged and returned to sit on her bed as she put her shoes on. Her mouth was in a tight line of irritation. 
If one more person comes in here…
Almost as soon as she had thought it, Deidara knocked on the adjoining door and carefully opened it, looking extremely sheepish, still holding her loofah.

“Hey, I’m sorry about that, I thought it was Sasori in there…”

At that very moment, Sasori burst in the other door, still in his underwear, singing

I’m Too Sexy,

dancing and rubbing moisturizer on his chest.

Konan gazed at him for a second, then turned to look at Deidara, giving him an unimpressed,

THIS is your boyfriend?

look. He grimaced at her, but was clearly trying not to laugh.

Konan glanced back at Sasori, who was now in full-on dance mode, hips snaking in circles, using Konan’s hairbrush as a microphone. She couldn’t help it— she laughed, too.

After breakfast, Hidan suggested that since it was a day off, they give Konan the

unofficial

school tour.

“You mean, all the places you go when you’re supposed to be in class?” Kakuzu grunted.

Hidan grinned. “I mean, sure! I gotta make sure my girl knows the deal, if ever she wants to skip

with

me! It’ll be fun~!” he said, waggling his eyebrows.

“He’s gonna try get you to do a blood pact,” Kakuzu said to Konan.”

“Hey! Don’t spoil the surprise, ‘Kuzu!”

They all agreed to the tour anyway and headed out from the cafeteria, Pain refilling his mug again with black coffee and taking it with him, holding it between his hands like it was the elixir of life.

Other students glanced at them as they passed, but Konan was relieved that they were mostly not looking at

her

, but rather at Hidan and Pain. Probably because they had all seen or heard about the fight.

I don’t want to think about that…

She put it out of her mind and followed Hidan as he pointed out several rooms that were never used for classes, and a roomy storage closet which had a faulty lock.

They went floor by floor, checking out Tsunade’s secret wine stash, a vent in the second floor boy’s bathroom where Hidan had hidden a full-on escape kit, complete with screwdriver, WD40, glass cutter, rope, and carabiner.

“The window in here’s loose,” he explained, pointing it out to Konan. “And there’s scaffolding right outside on this side of the building, where they’re renovating the east wing.”

“Very helpful,” she said appreciatively. She didn’t think she was going to be skipping that much, but it was nice to know there was a way out if she needed it.

They toured the best hook-up places in the school; where to meet if you wanted to buy weed from Kiba, who usually had the best quality; the room Deidara had blown up earlier that term (in the east wing, which explained the reno); the hallway where Hidan, Kisame, and Pain had gone streaking last year as an end-of-year prank, and once they got outside, Pain’s motorbike, parked in the metalshop equipment cage.

“Wait, you have a

motorbike?”

Konan asked, impressed. Pain had his hands in his pockets, standing a little bit behind everyone.

“Yeah.”

“I’ve always wanted to learn to ride one!” Konan said, super excited. “Do you think… could you give me a ride sometime?”

It was her literal

dream

to ride a motorcycle. She would have loved to get one, and had spent hours scrolling through Craigslist and Facebook Marketplace looking for one she could afford, but it had always been a bit of a pipe dream.

Pain gave her a little grin. It didn’t quite reach his eyes, but when he said “For sure,” it sounded like he meant it.

They kept walking to check out the disused greenhouse where you couldn’t be seen from the school, and the cut section of the chain link fence, where you could sneak out.

“When’s the last time you guys all went out?” Konan asked as Itachi demonstrated pushing the snipped section of fence away so there was a gap.

“A few weeks ago, now. For Kisame’s birthday,” he said. “There’s a bus stop not too far from here, and a village about twenty minutes away. Closest city’s about an hour bus ride. We just went out, played some pool. Went to the river.” He shrugged.

“Oh yeah, when’s

your

birthday?” Deidara sked Konan.

“Uh… October 13
th
,” she replied. “I’ll be seventeen!”

“They grow up so fast,” Sasori said, wiping away a fake tear. Konan gave him a playful shove. She caught Pain watching and smiled, but he glanced away too quickly. A tiny frown creased her face.

Is there something wrong?

“Damn, that’s coming up soon,” Kisame said, stroking his chin as they started to walk back to the school, taking the ‘scenic route’ through the gardens, which were heavily overgrown with weeds, and dotted with crushed cans and empty smoke packs. Not that scenic. “We’ll have to start planning.”

“Planning what?” Konan asked.

“We’re gonna throw you a party or something,” Hidan said like she was a little slow. “Like you do… on peoples’ birthdays…”

“Really!?” Konan was taken aback that they’d do that, when they’d only just started to get to know her. “That’s so nice of you…”

“Well if you’re going to get all mushy on us, forget it,” Kakuzu said, half-joking.

“Fine, fine.” Konan laughed and dropped it, but she was still smiling wider than normal. She hadn’t had a real birthday party for years.

--

They went back in for lunch. Konan didn’t know if she could even express it, but she was so happy to have a group of friends to sit with. It kind of felt like she was becoming part of the group… like they were making a little space for her in their established patterns, jokes, and banter.

“So, Konan,” Kisame began, leaning forward across the table to see her around Hidan, who was going to absolute town on a chicken Caeser wrap, “What are you gonna do for Halloween?”

Konan blinked, pausing on chewing her meatball. “Eh? What d’you mean?” she asked, covering her mouth while trying to talk around the wodge of food in her cheeks. It came out more like

Eh? Wradjuu mee?

“Sorry, sorry. So,

Scooby Doo,

what are you gonna do for Halloween?” Kisame said making Konan and Deidara laugh.

Konan took a ginormous swallow. “So sorry. But still, eh?”

Itachi explained. "Halloween...actually, most of the quote-unquote “traditional” holidays are really a big deal in this school. Officially, they’re times for students to let off steam, be creative, whatever. Unofficially, Shizune really loves a theme, and she can talk Tsunaboobs into anything.”

Konan smiled: it was pretty easy to imagine this dynamic between the headmistress and her cheeky admin assistant.

“But Halloween’s always the one where everybody kind of goes the hardest. There’s an academic side to it — every student creates a project that contributes to the decorations, activities, or entertainment for the event. The social side is that everybody has to dress up, no exceptions, and everyone is expected to create their own costume. There’s a competition, a movie night, and a party.”

Konan grinned. “That sounds kinda fun! Do you guys all know what you’re going as?”

There was a collective nod.

“I’m being a super intelligent shade of the colour blue,” said Kisame immediately.

“A what?”

“It’s from Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. They’re called Hooloovoo… anyway. Just. All blue,” he finished a bit lamely, gesturing at his face.

“Oh cool,” Konan said, privately thinking that it would be a pretty low-effort costume for him, since he was already mysteriously kind of blue-tinged to begin with.

Deidara was being a gender-swapped Carrie, Kakuzu was going as an oni, Hidan was going as a satanist, Itachi was going as Edward Scissorhands, Pain was going as Kazuo Kiriyama from Battle Royale, and Sasori was going as a human puppet.

“What do you think you’ll do?” Deidara asked Konan.

“Um…” Konan twirled her fork around her spaghetti, thinking. “I always wanted to do LeeLoo from Fifth Element… Ooh, or Queen Amidala! Or… or I could be the Creature from the Black Lagoon… or I could be Dana Scully! Or….”

“So, a range of ideas,” Sasori said drily. “I look forward to the surprise.”

---

They spend most of the rest of the weekend reading and catching up on assignments. Konan had been set quite a few catch-up projects by her teachers, since she was joining the term late, so she shut herself in her room to start figuring those out. This didn’t stop Sasori and Deidara, and on one occasion, Hidan, from strolling through to say hi, announce they were bored, and proceed to generally be annoying, but with her headphones in it was easier to ignore them.

For a break, they went out and took the bus to the village one afternoon to play darts and shoot some pool. Konan and Sasori paired up and won every game, leading Sasori to announce he would never play with anyone else, to avoid breaking his winning streak. Konan took a photo of all of them standing on top of the chain link fence surrounding the grounds, making stupid faces. It took several tries, and after the last one Shizune leaned through an upstairs window to yell at them, so they ran away laughing.
Konan led everyone in a self-care evening, and they all put on facemasks and slices of cucumber that Deidara had stolen from the kitchens, listened to Enya and pretended they were all divorcees bonding over how horrible their exes were. Itachi had sent them all into uncontrollable laughter with his pitch-perfect Long Island accent saying, “And honey, he was a downright dog I tell you. A liar and a dog.”
The first evening mid-way through dinner, Pain and Hidan sloped off together for their detention. The next night, Pain had detention again. Sunday night, he didn’t come for dinner at all.

“He’s got detention for

another

night?” Sasori asked Hidan, frowning.

“Hey man, I have no idea,” Hidan said. “I know something happened the first night, but we were at opposite ends of the gym. Cleaning mats and shit. I dunno what’s going on with him.”

Konan listened, frowning with worry. Aside from missing dinner and getting detention over and over, something was definitely up with Pain. It was like he didn’t want to meet her gaze. He was never in the same room as her without someone else, now. He didn’t smile at her or joke like he had on the first morning. It was starting to really bother her.

That night, Konan went to bed late after watching an episode of Hannibal with Kakuzu and Hidan. She said goodnight and slipped back into her room, shutting the door. She had a shower, brushed her teeth, changed into her pyjamas, and brushed her hair.

As she was heading back to the bathroom to hang up her towel, she heard voices in the hallway. She paused. The hall had been totally empty when she walked back from Kakuzu’s dorm, so she wondered who was up.

“You just getting back?” It was Sasori’s voice. Quiet, but still audible in the silent dorm.

“Yeah.” Pain’s voice.

“What were you doing?”

“Detention. Reorganizing the weight room. Assembling some shelves.”

“Fun,” Sasori said sarcastically. Then, more seriously, “Hidan only got one night of detention. What are you doing going back over and over?”

Konan slid silently down to the floor and leaned against her door, listening. She knew it was a private conversation and she shouldn’t… But Pain had been distant with her since the first day, and she wanted to know why.

Aside from wanting to know if she’d done something to piss him off, or if something else was wrong, if she was being totally honest, she

missed

him. She’d just met him, but she missed his easy smile when she looked at him.

He had been colder… He was in detention because of her. Maybe if she knew why, she could apologize.

“The first night, we were all together. Those guys… Zaku and his friend.” Pain’s voice was so low it was barely audible. “We were cleaning the gym mats. Asuma was supervising.”

Konan heard Sasori laugh quietly. “Supervising? Just smoking, right?”

“Yeah. I played shōgi with him after… But he made me work with Zaku. And that kid just kept saying all this shit, just—” His voice had risen a little, angry, but he let out a breath and was quiet again. “You know.”

“About Konan?”

Pain didn’t say anything.

“So…”

“So, I punched him. Chipped his tooth on the bleachers, actually.”

Sasori whistled. “Didn’t think he could get uglier, but there’s always further to fall I guess.”

Pain half-chuckled. He sounded exhausted.

“Anyway, he started bitching about it until Asuma let him go to the nurse’s office. And I got another detention. And so did Zaku because he was ‘antagonizing’ me, Asuma said. And ‘cause he fought back. A little.”

“How come Hidan didn’t get detention again too? I’d say he’d fight his own mother if he was feeling edgy.”

“He was across the gym, he didn’t hear anything. Zaku only said it to me.”

“Why?”

A pause. Pain mumbled something Konan couldn’t quite hear. “Dunno why,” or “You know why.”

“I think I’m starting to see the problem.”

“Pretty much.”

“Man, this really isn’t like you. Can’t you just… you know… ignore him? Just get through it? You don’t want to be in detention the whole year.”

Pain was quiet for a minute. Konan pressed her ear to the door, eyes closed, holding her breath. “No, I can’t,” he said finally, even more quietly.

“Wear headphones?” Sasori suggested, clearly joking.

“Maybe, actually. Asuma would probably let me wear them. He wouldn’t notice.”

“There you go,” Sasori said brightly. After a moment, Konan heard him get up. He paused, then said, “...Don’t stay up too late, hey? You’re horrible company in the morning if you don’t sleep.”

“And you’re not?” Pain asked, a smile clear in his voice. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll just be a minute. Go say goodnight.”

Konan listened to Sasori’s footsteps as he walked to Deidara’s room and swung his door open. Light flared under her door for a second, then disappeared with the click of the latch. Konan chewed her lower lip for a few seconds, wondering —

Would it be okay? Will he mind?

— before she got up and silently padded to her chair, wriggling into her oversize black hoodie and tucking her hands inside the sleeves to keep warm.

She opened her door quietly, just a crack at first, to let him know she was coming out. She saw him sitting, leaning against his own bedroom door, elbows propped on his knees, hands raking through his hair. She opened the door wider and the glow of soft light from her bedside lamp sliced a beam across his knees, his forearm, the side of his face. He squinted in the light, dropped his head. She was gripped by a momentary hesitation, then pushed through.

“Hey,” she murmured. She shut the door behind her again, not wanting the light to disturb anyone else. She padded over to him slowly. “Is it okay if I…?”

She didn’t finish the question, but he nodded anyway. His eyes were unfocused, dropped to his knees. She squatted next to him.

They stayed like that for a while. It could have been five minutes. Could have been ten. Konan sat down fully when her thighs started to ache. Pain’s breathing slowed and deepened. She wondered if he was falling asleep. She didn’t mind. It was kind of nice just to be near him. He calmed her down, somehow. Her own breathing slowed, too.

“Hey,” she murmured.

“Mm?”

“Have you been… avoiding me a little bit?”

A pause. A tiny sigh. Konan took that to mean that he knew what she was talking about. That she wasn’t just paranoid.

“Did I do something that bothered you? Or did I say something wrong?”

She felt him shake his head next to her. “Of course not,” he whispered.

“Okay.” She waited for a few seconds, but he didn’t continue. She bit her lips, piecing together what she wanted to say. “I… I had fun with you, on my first day. I mean, it’s been good since then too, but… You won’t look at me. Not really. You don’t talk to me, just us, like this, anymore.” She hugged her knees, tried to find his eyes in the dark. “I kind of miss you.”

Pain was quiet for a few seconds. He sighed. “I’m sorry I made you feel… like I didn’t want to talk with you,” he murmured. “I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you. I don’t

want

to… I really don’t. But…”

Konan closed her eyes, feeling a knot of anxiety on her stomach loosen. “Is it because of that fight? With…” She trailed off. Pain’s shadowy profile had tensed slightly.

“Kind of.”

“Talk to me,” she said softly, looking at him. “Please.”

Pain let out his breath in a quiet laugh. “You're so…” He didn’t finish the thought, but he did turn his head to look back at her, finally. She could just make out his serious expression in the darkness.

“I could’ve killed that guy. I wanted to,” he said flatly. “And… I hate that you saw me like that. I don’t usually get in fights or anything.” His voice was quieter. He sounded ashamed. “I have detention with him. And he pisses me off. He says things…” He shifted beside her, looked away. “Anyway. But I’m just.. angry. All the time, whenever I think about it. And I don’t want you to see me like that. I don’t want you to

think

of me like that.”

Konan stayed quiet for a minute, taking that in. Then she said, her voice quiet and firm, “I don’t think of you like that. And I never will.”

Pain was silent for a moment. Then — “Promise?” Konan could tell he was smiling a little.

“Promise,” she whispered.

“Okay.”

Silence fell between them again, but it was a more comfortable one now. Konan sighed, feeling lighter than she had in days. Pain seemed to have unwound a few notches next to her too. She felt him shift imperceptibly closer as he relaxed back against the door. They stayed quiet, sitting side by side in the dark.

As the minutes lengthened, Konan found herself leaning towards him, millimeter by millimeter, terrified but also excited by the possibility that her sleeve might brush his arm…

She was a little scared of how much she wanted to be near him. It was like she was caught in an orbit around him, spiraling closer and closer and closer. Caught in the pull of his gravity. The gap between them felt like a magnetic sensory threshold, an unbreakable space heavy with potential.

Pain shifted sideways. His arm pressed against her shoulder.

Konan stopped breathing for a second. She was hyper aware of her body. It felt like the place where they touched was warm with electricity.

She closed her eyes and breathed in. He was sweaty. He didn’t smell bad. Just more…

him.

His deodorant. The faint smoky scent she now knew came from his hours working on his woodburning projects. Laundry detergent on his sweater.

Carefully, so slowly she was barely moving second to second, ready at any moment to jump up and pretend she’d been falling asleep, Konan’s head was tipping down, until she found his shoulder and rested it there. She heard a tiny intake of breath from Pain, but he didn’t shake her off. His shoulders lowered, and he exhaled. Konan relaxed against him.

She had come out wanting to talk to him. To tell him it was okay. That she appreciated him standing up for her. That she missed smiling with him and having fun with him. That she was sad to see him stressed and unhappy. That he didn’t have to keep fighting for her. That she was touched that he had been, without her knowing. That he made her feel safe. That somehow, she felt more at home here with him than she had in a long time.

But she didn’t want to break the silence. So she thought all of these things, spoke them silently into the dark hallway, hoping he felt what she wanted to say. That by touching, they could read each other’s minds, and he could hear what she was thinking.

Thank you. You don’t have to do that anymore. It’s okay. It’s okay now.

A while later, so long that Konan had started thinking she really might fall asleep right there in the hallway, Pain tilted his head down towards her. She felt his breath on her forehead, the ghost of his cheek brush against her hair.

“Thanks,” he whispered. She was so sleepy she didn’t feel the swoop in her stomach until he was already pulling away.

He got to his feet, stretched, and held his hands out to help her up. She wrinkled her nose.

“My butt’s asleep,” she whispered in answer to his questioning look. He laughed quietly.

“Good night,” she murmured, looking up at him.

Pain paused for a second, gazing at her like he was on the precipice of something. Saying something? Hugging her? Then he reached out a hand and ruffled her hair.

“Hey!” Konan laughed, smoothing her hair back down.

He grinned down at her. “Good night.”

Konan went back to her room, shut the door behind her. She leaned against it for a second. Gathering her thoughts felt like calling birds home to a dovecote. Waiting, alone and empty, and then suddenly dozens of winged things flapping back inside, making sense of the space. Her feet on the cool hall floor. Pain’s head in his hands. Sitting next to him. Their arms pressed together. Her head on his shoulder. His lips brushing over her hair.

She dove into bed and rolled herself up in her blanket. As exhausted as she had been a minute ago, her heart was pounding so hard now she couldn’t have gone to sleep if she tried.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Konan's birthday came quicker than she'd expected, and she lay awake the night before, just thinking that in less than seven hours, she would officially be seventeen.
Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me..
She sighed and fell asleep.When she next opened her eyes, it was still dark. She frowned, blinking. She looked at the alarm clock. 
5 am… 
She rolled her eyes, flopped back onto the pillow. But she was feeling a little paranoid now. She could have sworn she heard a noise just then… After living in the dorm room for two weeks, she seemed to have developed a kind of sixth sense.“….Sasori…?” she said suspiciously.Nothing.She squinted in the dark but couldn’t see anything. After another few seconds of silence, she shrugged and pulled her blankets back up.  Now I’m just being crazy. She closed her eyes.A few minutes later, she was nearly asleep again when out of nowhere, seven large, heavy, noisy, boy-shaped meteors crashed onto her bed and dogpiled onto her.“YARGH!” she yelled, trying to wriggle out from under them. “Get your foot out of— Who’s fucking… you’re squishing me!!” she gasped, trying to extract her torso from under somebody. “Whose fat butt is this?” she yelled, punching it.“That would be mine ,” came Hidan’s voice. And then he farted on her.“Oh, gross !” yelled Sasori, wriggling backwards off Konan’s legs.The other boys all scattered as well, crawling off the bed as quickly as they could.“That’s just nasty,” Kisame said from near the door. Kakuzu bent over the bed and wrestled Hidan off Konan, who was having some kind of out-of-body experience, her vision temporarily whited out, her consciousness floating peacefully away, somewhere that smelled of lilies, fresh water, steaming rice… She came alive merely to sink her teeth hard into Hidan’s butt cheek before he was dragged off of her. “YEOW!!” he yelled. “She bit me in the ass!! What kinda piranha-ass bitch—!? ” “You deserved it,” chorused the others.Deidara came over and fanned the air over Konan with a magazine. “What are you doing, farting on the birthday girl?”“Put me down, man!” Hidan said to Kakuzu in annoyance, who was holding him aloft like a baby with a poopy diaper. “Hey, I didn’t mean to, it just sorta slipped out, you know how it is.”“Don’t you dare try pull that shit on my birthday, you cretin,” Itachi said in revulsion.“ Cretin!? Come on, it was just one tiny fart!! Just a little pfft , like nothing!”“Apologize, Hidan,” Kakuzu said.“Oh come on…!!” “Konan is still catatonic.”“Fuckin’ drama queen,” Hidan said, but he sounded amused. “Fine, fine. Put me down , man.”Konan heard footsteps approaching the bed. The will to live still hadn’t returned to her. The air around her nose had barely cleared, despite Deidara’s fanning.“Hey, was it that bad?” Hidan asked.“Yes. It was,” she said flatly. “It was like a small creature who eats only carrion crawled into my nose, died, and then shat its guts out post-mortem.”The others howled with laughter as Hidan gaped in disbelief.“Hey, hey, hey, hey, you’re gonna ruin my reputation here, Konan! Come on, it wasn’t that bad—”“…It was like someone filled a syringe from the contents of an outdoor toilet at a 3-day concert where the only food available was Taco Bell, then squirted it into my nose.”“I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe,” Sasori gasped, collapsing on the side of her bed.“Konan, you—”“…It was like a body had decomposed in stagnant water for a month, then the remains were put in a blender, turned into perfume, and sprayed directly into my nostrils.”Pain was clutching Kisame to stay standing, positively crying with laughter.“Okay! Okay, okay, I’m sorry!” Hidan yelled, kneeling at the side of her bed, hands clasped. “I’ll make it up to you!”Konan sat up slowly, gazing down at him. “You. Owe. Me.”“I do! I owe you!”“A Huge Favour.”“The biggest! Of course!”“I am your queen for the day.”“Yeah, sure, okay! I’ll do whatever! Just fuckin’ stop with the… the descriptions… man, it wasn’t that bad , was it??”“It was like—”“NO! OKAY! OKAY IT WAS BAD!”For the rest of the day, Hidan piggybacked Konan wherever she had to go, opened doors for her, and vigorously defended her against any and all outside attack, whether verbal or physical. This was the part that Hidan took to easily and definitely enjoyed the most. Sasori in particular kept getting shouted at. “Put some respect on her name, you bitch-ass motherfucker!!” Hidan yelled that afternoon when a girl in the cafeteria asked Konan if she could scoot her chair forward so she could pass.Shizune stopped by to deliver two birthday cards which had come in the mail for her. The first was from her mother. It had a watercolour painting of a field of cornflowers. ‘Dear Konan, Happy birthday! I wish I were there to celebrate with you. I hope you’re well and enjoying life. I hope your dad is taking good care of you. Hope to see you soon. I’m doing fine, so stop worrying about me! I know you are. The rain is peaceful by my window, so I am glad it is raining more. It makes me think of you. All my love, Mom.’  Konan thought she recognized the writing of her mother’s regular carer, Lianne.The second was on thick cream paper, and had an embossed golden pattern of flying cranes on the front. She recognized it as being from a set of stationary she had purchased for her father’s secretary when she got engaged. Inside it read, ‘Konan, your father wishes you a happy birthday. Hope you’re enjoying school.’ Beneath the message was her father’s signature, stamped on, and the signature of Holly, his personal assistant.She slipped them into her bag, smiling at Pain, who had watched her open them.“From my parents,” she explained. That evening, she and her friends had a little party in her room. The boys had bought a cake for her, and all sang happy birthday very off-key as Deidara lit the seventeen candles. It looked like someone had made a swirly figure of her name in metalshop, which was sitting on the icing, reflecting the candlelight. She applauded when they finished, Hidan ending last on a high falsetto youuuu!  “That was great!”“You’re patronizing us,” said Itachi.“Well, yeah, but–”“Make a wish already!” Deidara yelled.Konan blew out all the candles but one, which she blew out on the second try. Sasori raised a teasing eyebrow.“Ooh, Konan’s got a boyyyfrieeend… ” he crooned.Hidan slipped behind him and twisted his nipples through his shirt, making him yelp loudly.“Stop teasing my queen.”“Okay, hating this!” Sasori exclaimed.Kisame passed Konan a present wrapped in silver paper. She unwrapped a shower curtain.“Aw, thank you!! God, you guys really know me,” she joked, hugging it to her chest and laughing. “I’m gonna go hang it up right now!” She got up, giddy.“Don’t you mean I’m gonna go hang it up right now?” Hidan sighed, holding out his hand.Konan beamed. “Oh yeah! Thank you!”“Show’s over, folks,” Sasori said with a sad little sigh, leaning his chair back and folding his arms behind his head as he watched Hidan messing around with the curtain.“Deidara’s the only one who ever got a show, stupid,” Pain said, giving Sasori a shove which almost tipped his chair over. (“Hey!!”) He glanced around when several of the others coughed awkwardly, scratching their noses or looking with sudden interest at the cake decorations. “...Right?”“God, I wish that were true,” Konan said, scowling as she started to cut and serve the cake.Pain frowned, looking at the guilty faces. “Who exactly has been spying on Konan in the shower?”“Hey, hey, spying is really a little strong, I was just checking if the shower was free!” called Hidan from the bathroom.“You broke the bolt on my door!” Konan said, fuming all over again.“I heard a scream so I came in to drag Hidan out but Konan was still there…” Kakuzu said with a shrug.“Okay, I am totally innocent, though, it wasn’t spying, wasn’t the shower, it’s not my fault she ran out butt-naked!” Kisame said, raising his hands.“I forgot my laundry bag in the hall! I didn’t know you were there, you said you were going out, and I wasn’t naked anyway, I was wearing underwear!” Konan protested.“...Running right past where I happened to be standing…” interjected Itachi matter-of-factly.“Okay, okay,” Sasori added in, grinning, “I was spying, I mean like I was pretending to spy as a joke, but it turned out that she was actually changing at the time, so I guess it counts, and it was not a bad view, I can tell you, so…” he tailed off before actually getting tipped out of his chair by Deidara.In the middle of all this noise, Pain got up and walked over to Konan’s door, hands in his pockets, staring at the rusty bolt, which, now that he took a closer look, had plainly been snapped in two, apparently by Hidan when he’d barged into it. The metal had just given way, weakened with age. He pointed at it. “Want me to fix this for you?” he called to Konan. “Yes, please !” Konan said, walking over to him. “Do you know how?”Pain gave her an easy grin. “Come on. Of course I do.” He glanced at the table, where the others were now arguing over who had been the most innocent of spying on Konan and fighting over the biggest slice of cake. “I’ll show you.”Konan followed him down the hall to his room. “Is it okay to come in?” she asked, pausing on the threshold, hands behind her back. All of a sudden, she felt kind of shy: she had been in Deidara and Sasori's rooms several times and Kakuzu's once, but nobody else’s, and she had never even seen the inside of Pain’s room.He gave her a swift smile, took her hand, and pulled her inside. “Of course! This is where the magic happens.”Konan looked around as Pain passed by her. His room had a similar layout to hers, but mirrored. His walls looked to have been painted in black chalk paint; they were covered in dozens and dozens of diagrams, blueprints, calculations, and illustrations, plus a few silly drawings that had plainly been done by the others (Kisame wuz here, a Hamtaro-style drawing of Deidara, etc). His desk looked surprisingly small surrounded by the huge floating shelves he had installed all around it, which held many-segmented drawers, coils of wire of different thicknesses, sheets of metal, batteries, bits of scrap, soldering irons, heat guns, drills, toolboxes, wire cutters, bits of wood, a rotary saw, safety goggles, a blowtorch, thick gloves, several tubes of polysporin and bandages, and pumice hand soap. These were the shelves that Pain was currently rummaging in. A whole other set of shelves hung outside his bathroom door, but these were much smaller, and mostly held products Konan recognized for cleaning piercings and caring for tattoos— rubbing alcohol, saline-spray rinse, second-skin, unscented moisturizer. He also had a glass display of different needle gauges, tapers, gauze, disinfectant, and latex gloves.  Did he do any of those himself!? Konan wondered, a little shocked, glancing at Pain’s nose and ear piercings. This guy is crazy. His bed had the same cover as hers, and his bathroom was the same, except with no shower. He had photos of the others taped on the back of his door, along with photos of people who were surely his family— an older man with auburn hair who looked very like him, and several who Konan took to be his siblings.Hung on the wall were some of his art pieces — a large eagle with spread wings curved above the door, each feather made of a separate piece of metal, all welded together; a wood block with what must be hundreds of nails of different lengths embedded in it, which shifted into a city skyline as you walked past; several mounted wood burning illustrations of rainbursts under roiling clouds across a desolate landscape.“These are beautiful,” Konan said, gazing around. “Thanks,” Pain said. He sounded a little shy.  Cute .He came back over to her, juggling several tools and various bits of metal. “I could replace the bolt, but I can also just put a better lock on your door. I have these just hanging around.” He waved a couple blister packs of lock sets. “Sure, if it’s not a bother!” Konan said, gazing at his armful of stuff. “Why do you have all that?”Pain gave her a mischievous grin as he moved past her, back into the hall. “Uh… a while ago I thought it would be funny to change some of the locks on the building.”Konan followed him. “You mean, like the external door? What happened?”“That, and others. Tsunade’s office, the maintenance office, staff room, metalshop. A few more. Tsunade was mad about it. She made an announcement, and the sanitation staff were of course pissed off. But I put the originals all back a couple days later. I just needed a little time with the old stuff.”“Why?”He prodded her door open with his foot and set his tools down on her dresser. “I wanted to make copies of the keys.”“How?”“I took the locks apart. Measured the pins, cut corresponding notches on the new keys.”“Just for fun?”“Yeah.”“Wouldn’t it have been easier to just steal the keys?”Pain had started unscrewing the bolt mount. He gave her a bemused look. “I mean, sure it would’ve. But doing it this way was more fun. I hadn’t tried it before.”“They didn’t get suspicious and change the locks?”“I mean they probably were suspicious. But they haven’t changed them yet. It would probably be too expensive for them to bother with every important door in the place.” He popped off the bolt mount and started to dismantle her doorknob. “And if they do, I can just steal and copy their keys, like you said. Because that’s easy. ”“So, you’ve been letting Hidan mess around with WD40, rope, and scaffolding…” she said, remembering Hidan’s escape kit he showed her on his tour of the school, “When you have keys!?” Pain smirked.  “Um… yeah.”Konan laughed. “Damn.” And then she remembered something else. “Wait, what about the huge chain on the hall doors? How did you undo that from the inside? Are you Harry Houdini!?” She was only mostly joking. It felt like nothing would surprise her at this point.Pain looked around at her, raising his eyebrows. “Microgauge blowtorch,” he said. “You just slip the nozzle through the crack in the door, put on your safety goggles, and set to work. Gets through that baby in about ten minutes, max. Just gotta avoid setting fire to the wood.”“You’re kidding.” Konan said, staring at him in disbelief.He snorted with laughter. “ Of course I’m kidding. There’s an emergency exit. I know the alarm codes, and all you need to stop it locking after you is an allen key.”“Oh. That’s easy.”“Yep.”Konan went to fetch them both some birthday cake before it was entirely devoured by the slobbering horde (the other six boys), and sat down next to him. “So do you use the keys for anything?” she asked.Pain popped her doorknob out and started to unscrew the latch bolt. He made a funny face. “Maybe…”“Like what?” she asked, laughing. He levered the whole latch bolt out with a screwdriver, rolled it towards her, and fished in his pocket for the screws. “This and that.”“Like what? ” she asked, poking him with her foot.“Was that a kick?” he gasped. “Here I am, slaving away, not even getting to eat any cake because I’m busy fixing your door, and you kick me…”“Oh come on,” Konan said, rolling her eyes. “Here, have some cake.” She used the side of his fork to cut a bite off his untouched slice and held it over to him as he began to screw the deadbolt in. He leaned over, eyes focused on the deadbolt mount, saying “aaahh.” Konan started to giggle. “You have to look , or I’m gonna miss!”  “How are you missing? ” he asked, snorting and looking at her. He turned her head right into the cake, which smushed on the side of his mouth and then fell. She caught it in her hand, and raised it up to his mouth, but he was turning away laughing.“No, that’s gross!”“I don’t want it in my hand! Eat it!”“I don’t want your hand germs on it!”“ Germs? I just washed my hands like ten minutes ago!” she laughed, waving the chunk of cake in front of his face.  “Tee hee hee, eat this cake from my hand,” came Sasori’s voice, pitched up and sing-song from over by the table.  “Tee hee hee, nooo I’m too shy…” came Deidara’s voice, similarly falsetto.Konan snorted. “Ahem?” she said, raising her voice and glancing back.Hidan, who had been snickering with the others, caught her eye. He gave her a comically dramatic salute. “Yes, my queen!” Then he swiped his thumb through the chocolate icing on his slice of cake, seized Sasori by the head, and smeared the icing across the protesting redhead’s forehead so it looked like he had a massive unibrow.An uncontrollable snort of laughter burst out of Konan, and when Sasori shot her a filthy look, she just laughed harder. His dreamy grey eyes sitting under a Rock-Lee like caterpillar looked ridiculous. Deidara looked like he was going to piss himself laughing, pointing right in Sasori’s face, until Hidan seized the front of his shirt, icing-covered thumb descending towards his own eyebrows. “No, no, no!! Nooooo, I beg you!! ” Deidara yelled, holding Hidan’s arm away from him. They struggled dramatically for a few seconds until Hidan managed to plant a thumb onto Deidara’s upper lip, swiping across to give him ginormous icing moustache.Everyone was completely paralyzed with laughter, even Sasori and Deidara, who were laughing at each other. When they got up to wash it off, Konan said, “Wait, wait, wait, I want to… to take a…” but she was laughing so hard she couldn’t say picture and was just miming clicking something, which made the others lose it even more. Pain pulled out his cellphone for her and she got some glamour shots of Sasori and Deidara, posing like models with their huge moustache and unibrow. Even after they stopped and went to wash the icing off, one of them would suddenly snort with laughter and start everyone up again.About twenty minutes later, Pain was able to eat his cake and finish installing the deadbolt. “The bathroom itself locks fine, yeah?” he asked, tossing Konan her new front door key. “Uh-huh.”“You want a lock on the door to Sasori’s room?” he asked through a final bite of cake. “Um…” Konan felt a powerful gaze burning into her. She turned to look and saw Sasori in full puppy dog mode, looking at her with huge, betrayed eyes, lip quivering. “Oh, he’s so sad…” Konan gasped, only half-joking. Pain raised an eyebrow at Sasori. “What do you need constant access to Konan’s room for, anyway?”Sasori turned his puppy-eyes beam onto Pain, who seemed a lot more immune than Konan. He gazed back, unimpressed.“I don’t suppose this is because you want an easier route to Deidara’s room, because you’re a little princess who doesn’t like walking on the cold floor outside, hmmm ?” Sasori blinked imnocently, but it was kind of ruined when Deidara elbowed him in the side and said, “Leave me out of your pervy plans.”“Konan and I had a long talk the other day,” Sasori began, unruffled and wistful, his hands clasped together like a melodramatic actor in full monologue. “About how sad she is that she doesn’t have any siblings, and how sad my childhood has been without any siblings, and we shared our secret dream to be each other’s brother and sister, to build our own bonding memories, and to hang out, and tease each other, and have sleepovers together, and go in each other’s rooms for fun, just like siblings do…” “Uh-huh,” Pain said flatly. “Konan, did that actually hap—” He stopped mid-sentence as he glanced at her, and immediately snorted with laughter. Her face was shining with joy, her hands clasped together just like Sasori’s.“Whether or not the conversation happened… I believe in your dream!” she exclaimed, eyes sparkling. “Yay!” Sasori said, leaping to his feet and opening his arms wide. “Sis!”“Bro!” Konan said joyfully, jumping into his arms. They immediately crashed to the floor. “You’re really weak,” she said in surprise, clambering up and giving him a bemused look. “What the hell was that?”Sasori coughed, lying on the ground like a crushed ant. “ That was a 500-pound elephant jumping into my gorgeous yet slender arms, when I was just hoping for a simple hug.”“Hey,” Hidan said warningly, pointing threateningly from Sasori’s eyebrows to the remaining slice of cake and back again.“I mean…” Sasori backtracked, “I am but a delicate flower. As are you, of course. But when one delicate flower throws itself with insufficient warning into the arms of another delicate flower…”“Oh shut up ,” Konan laughed.—They all settled in to watch Ip Man together, since it was Konan’s favourite movie. Afterwards, when the others were trailing out of her room, she remembered what she had been trying to ask Pain. “Hey, so where do you go when you sneak out?” she asked him, grabbing his sleeve gently as he headed for the door.Pain paused and turned back to her. “You wanna find out?” he smiled.Konan blinked up at him and bit her lips. “Like, tonight?”He grinned. “Yeah.”She thought about it for a second, but couldn’t really help grinning back. “Yeah, okay!” “Cool.” He paused in the doorway. Konan, who had thought they were walking out together now, jerked backwards, looking up at him. He was so tall . “I’ll meet you by our door in two hours. We’ll be quiet so we don’t wake the others.” He looked her up and down briefly. She felt her cheeks heat up; he’d never done that before. “Wear black. And a hat, if you have one. Just in case.” He grinned at her, winked, and shut the door. Two hours later, at 1am, Konan was in her black hoodie and leather jacket, black leggings, black boots, and black baseball cap, and standing inside their dorm door, waiting. She heard a quiet click of a door opening, and craned her neck to see Pain smiling at her from down the hall, also in all black. He was wearing a leather jacket, and holding a black motorcycle helmet under his arm.Konan’s jaw dropped, and then she bit her lips together to stop herself from squealing with joy.  Pain could clearly tell she was excited, because he looked at the ground to hide his laugh, and then pressed a finger to his lips, looking at her like What are you doing? What happened to quiet ? Konan mimed zipping her lips, but couldn’t stop herself from bouncing on the balls of her feet in giddiness. Pain unlocked the front door, and she followed him out. He re-locked it, and led her down the hall, the opposite way from the main doors, which were chained up on the other side. They went down the hall, past the first-years’ rooms, then turned a corner and stopped at the end, in front of a door that read ‘Fire Exit. Do Not Open - Alarm Will Sound.’Konan watched nervously as Pain slotted an allen key into a hole on the push bar and turned it with a click. The bar remained held in place, the deadbolt recessed.He unlocked and then flipped open the alarm pad on the wall next to it. He tapped in a code — 4525 — and it gave a soft beep. He pushed the push bar quietly, and opened the door for her. Voilà. They walked silently down the corridors and stairs until they reached the metalshop. Pain took out his keyring, unlocked it, shut the door behind them, and led her to a door on the opposite wall. Through that, they were in the equipment cage the others had shown Konan from the outside during her second tour of the school. Under a grey tarp at the back, behind various kilns and other machinery, was Pain’s motorbike. Pain gave her the helmet he’d been carrying. “Put that on,” he said with a smile. “It’s a spare.” Konan took off her baseball cap and hid it behind a roll of chicken wire, then pulled on the helmet. It was snug on her face, and squished her cheeks a little. She lifted the visor, smiling at Pain. “This is so cool!” she whispered. He had pulled off the tarp, opened the door in the chainlink, and was wheeling his motorbike out. He looked over at her and snorted with laughter. “Sorry,” he whispered, snickering at her, “but you look like a marshmallow! Your cheeks are all chipmunky…”Konan rolled her eyes, smiling, and followed him. They locked the cage door behind them. They walked the motorbike over to the cut section of the fence. If they just rode it there, Pain explained on the way, the noise would probably wake someone up, which would cause unnecessary hassle and might mean more eyes watching the place at night.Once on the other side of the fence, though, once they reached the road, he got on the bike and held it steady for Konan to get on behind him.“I’ve never been on one of these before!” she whispered, putting a hand on Pain’s shoulder to brace herself as she swung her leg over the back.“I know. Happy birthday,” he said, glancing back at her with a smile before he lifted his own helmet and put it on. “Now lift up your feet and put them on the pegs.”Konan did as she was told.“You’re gonna want to hold on pretty tight.”Konan placed her hands on his waist.“Way tighter than that.”“Is this you asking for a hug? You could just say so.”Pain laughed, and picked up her hands one by one, wrapping her arms around himself. “ No , this is me telling you we’re about to go fucking fast and I don’t want you flying off or getting whiplash.”“O-kayyy, whatever you say,” Konan said jokingly, like she didn’t believe him, but she held him tightly, pressing herself against his back.“Ready?” he asked, starting the engine “Yeah. Are you about to say ‘hold on spidermonkey,’ or something stupid like—”The bike shot forwards and the rest of Konan’s words were lost in a scream of delight.They zoomed down the road so fast the trees on either side were a blur. Konan could feel the wind pressing in against her arms and thighs, and she re-tightened her arms around Pain as he leaned to the side for a turn. “This is amazing, it’s like we’re flying!!” Konan screamed, not even caring that Pain surely couldn’t hear her against the roar of the engine and the wind. It felt like barely ten minutes until they were pulling into a corner store parking lot in the village. Pain turned the bike off and held it steady as Konan swung her leg off and got down. Her legs felt a little shaky from the adrenaline and excitement. She tugged the helmet off and watched, beaming, as Pain kicked down the stand, dismounted, and pulled his own helmet off. “Fun?” he asked simply, grinning at her.“Uh-huh! It was amazing!! It was the best thing I’ve ever done in my entire life!!” she said, breathless.“Wow, okay. I guess I’ll be taking you out again, huh?”“You’d better!” Pain was watching her, holding a hand up to his mouth, rubbing his lower lip, like he was trying not to smile. Then he looked away and shook his head, giving up and letting out a breath of laughter. “What?”He glanced back at her, biting down on a huge grin. “You’re just cute,” he said.She stared at him. He shrugged and raised his eyebrows, like What can I say? He shook his head again and walked towards the store. “I’m gonna grab a drink. You want something?”“Uh… maybe chips?” she said faintly, following him, feeling her cheeks heat up. 
You’re cute… you’re cute… you’re cute… 
His voice played on a loop in her head as she followed him around the shop, not paying attention to anything, nodding vaguely when he waved a bag of Lays at her. As he stood in front of the refrigerator, deciding between 7-Up and Ginger Ale, she caught sight of her reflection in a security mirror, and her jaw dropped in horror.Her face was bright pink, her hair was staticky, and several strands were stuck down stupidly to her forehead. “Why didn’t you tell me I looked this stupid!?” she hissed to Pain as he paid, trying to flatten her hair and flapping her hands at her face to cool it down.“You don’t look stupid.” He turned around to see her mid-hand-flapping. “Well, maybe now you do…” he said teasingly.“Hey!” He snickered and tossed her the Lays as they exited the store. The parking lot was deserted. There was a series of tall concrete barriers blocking the ends of a few parking spaces. Pain sat down on one and opened up his 7-Up. Konan ate her chips, sharing a few with Pain. Then she clambered onto the barrier and started to walk back and forth along it, trying to keep her balance.After a few minutes of quiet, Pain spoke.“This might be a little awkward, but I was wondering…”“Mmm?”“You got birthday cards from your both your parents—”“Yeah, kind of.”“What do you mean?”“My mum sent a card… Well, the nurses probably wrote it for her, but she chose it. She knows I like flowers. My dad’s secretary sent his card, and it’s a copy paste of the last ten cards from him. They even used a stamp for his signature.” She snorted. “I don’t think he even knows it’s my birthday.”Pain shook his head, clearly a little baffled but he didn’t pry. “Okay. But… What about your friends?” He paused when she didn’t say anything. “Did they text you?”Konan kept balancing on the concrete divider, but her gaze dropped away from him and her smile faded.Pain finished the 7-Up and leaned over to put the bottle down.“If you don’t want to talk about it… don’t. But… you told us you used to go out with friends, sneak out. Go to parties. But I never see you texting anybody, or calling anyone. I was just wondering… why.”Konan chewed her lips for a few seconds. “It’s not a very interesting reason,” she said eventually.“It doesn’t have to be.”“I do have friends , you know. I wasn’t lying. I do… I did.”“I believe you.”“Then why do you want to know?” It came out angrier than she thought. She bit her lips together again, looking down.“Hey,” Pain said softly after a moment. It’s okay.”She didn’t react, just watched herself scuff the toe of her boot on the surface of the concrete..“C’mere. Look at me.”If they hadn’t had that conversation in the hallway, a few weeks back, she wouldn’t have done as he asked. Talk to me . Please . She hesitated for a second, then walked along the divider and sat down facing him, one leg either side of it, her arms folded, but looking at him.“What happened?” he asked gently. His gaze was soft, concerned. “It’s nothing to like, be worried about, or sad for me about,” she said, half-warningly. “It’s not even anything, really.”“Okay, noted.”Konan chewed her lips again, scraping a nail along the concrete divider, chipping off her nail polish.“My dad found out that I was sneaking out with some of them. My friends. He found out I was texting them. I think he got suspicious somehow, and he probably got someone to take my phone and show him the chats. That’s what I think , anyway,” she said with a shrug, “I could just be paranoid. But one day I looked at my phone and my contacts list had been wiped of anyone and everyone who wasn’t my dad, my dad’s secretary, my mom, the hospital, my tutor, and the front desk of my dad’s building,” she said, ticking them off on her fingers. “And then,” she continued, trying hard to keep her voice offhand, “Then… All my friends were basically his employees’ kids. He fired all of their parents. One day, they were just gone. And it really sucked, because… Like, my friend Bella’s dad, he was the doorman at my dad’s main building forever, for as long as I can remember. I called him ‘Uncle.’ And I’ll never… see him again.” Her voice caught in her throat. She cleared it hastily.Pain shifted forwards until their knees touched. Konan closed her eyes and sighed.“Anyway. Dad took my phone. Told me he was going to incinerate it. Got me a new one, new SIM card, so I lost all their numbers. Despite that, I tried to keep messaging them, on like Facebook and stuff. But nobody ever replied. So…”Somehow, saying this out loud hurt a lot more than she thought it would. She had been trying not to think about it, had pushed this all out of her mind for weeks and weeks, trying to forget. She couldn’t look up at Pain. No matter what face he was making, she knew she would cry. She kept her eyes on her fingers, pressing into the grain of the concrete, focusing on the dull stabs of the grit.“So… I don’t know. Like I don’t know why, but… I kind of think… my dad, or people who work for him, must have like. Talked to their parents or something. Forbidden them from letting their kids contact me. And obviously he wasn’t going to tell anyone that he was sending me here . I think he sent me here because he was sick of dealing with me. Maybe he was mad he felt he had to fire his employees over me or something. I dunno why he does anything he does.”She was rambling now, but Pain didn’t interrupt. Konan gave a huge sigh and tugged on a smile, or as close to one as she could get.“But basically, that’s why I didn’t get any other birthday cards or texts.”“Konan, I’m really sorry.” Pain put a hand on her shoulder. She didn’t move for a moment, then shifted forwards a little. He slowly welcomed her into a hug. She leaned forward and pressed her face into his chest. She was holding herself stiff, trying to keep it together. But as he began to rub her back slowly, she started to cry, trying to muffle the sounds in his shirt. He wrapped his arms tighter around her, pressing her against him. She felt his chin tuck down on her head. After a while, she calmed down and pulled away, rubbing her eyes on her sleeve. “Can I ask you about any of that?” Pain asked her quietly, one arm still around her shoulders.“Sure,” she said, then “ugh.” She sounded like she had a bad cold. “Need some tissues? I’ll grab some,” Pain said, getting up at once. “Thanks.”“Anything else?”“Maybe a Snickers.”Pain smiled. “‘Kay. I’ll be right back.”Konan listened to his footsteps receding, feeling pretty sorry for herself. 
It was such a nice day. I had an amazing time biking out here, spending time with Pain. And now he knows my dad is crazy and I’ve blubbed all over him. Probably got fricking snot on his jacket or something.
Pain came back two minutes later and handed her the Snickers and pack of tissues. She thanked him in a thick voice and blew her nose. When she snuck a glance at his front as she opened the Snickers, she was relieved to see there was no snot snail trail. 
Thank Christ…
“Want some?” she asked, offering the chocolate bar to him. “Sure.” He leaned forwards and took a bite. She smiled. It felt like maybe they were getting back to normal, a little.“So, can I ask… why didn’t your dad like your friends?” 
…or maybe not.
Konan took a bite of chocolate and chewed. Crying had helped her calm down a little. She leaned back and looked up at the moon, thinking. “Well, he didn’t know them, so there’s no real reason he wouldn’t have liked them. He might not have liked that they were his employee’s kids. I don’t know if it was some kind of… like, if it was him being snobby.”“He’s not like that?”“No, he definitely is like that,” Konan said with a scowl. “He’s the kind of guy that would rather catch fire than sit in coach, or take a bus. And he’d have a heart attack if he knew half the stuff I did, living away from him. He’d always make me dress different, act different. He couldn’t have people see his daughter on the bus, or at a concert, or shopping at a mall, or whatever.”She shook his head. “I mean, dunno if that is why, but maybe he thought it was inappropriate that I used to eat dinner at the home of the woman who vacuumed his floors.”“He’s pretty rich, huh?”Konan nodded. “Yeah. Like asshole-rich. He talks a lot like normal people aren’t really… people… in the same way that he is.”She caught Pain’s raised eyebrows and sighed. “I don’t like talking about him. Or thinking about him. He’s the CEO of this big company he founded, MIRAI. They do a lot of stuff, mostly in biotech and stuff like that. He owns a load of labs around the world, and funds all sorts of scientific studies. Packages the result as vaccines, cryogenic pods, anti-aging creams, that kind of thing.” She shrugged. “He doesn’t talk to me about any of that. Which is good, because I hate all of it.”“So, basically, you’ve been saying… that I paid for chips, tissues, and a chocolate bar… for an heiress?” Pain asked, grinning.Konan blinked innocently at him. “You offered to! And anyway, he doesn’t give me money for stuff. If I’m going somewhere with him, his assistants get clothes for me to wear and things, so I don’t embarrass him, and then they take them away and re-sell them. Because the school fees include food and uniforms, I don’t have an allowance or anything. I have some money from working part time and stuff, but,” she shrugged, “not that much. Anyway, he’s always said not to depend on an inheritance from him, so heiress is out of the picture entirely.”“And you mostly lived near your mom?”“If I could, yeah. I spend the most time with her. We had a little apartment near the treatment facility where she gets her full-time care. Sometimes she’d need to see a specialist for a while, far away, and I couldn’t visit, so then I’d go see my dad. Or if he was going to a particular kind of conference or summit, or banquet or whatever, he’d say it looks better for him to be supported by family, and he’d make me go. Sit at his table in total fucking silence for the fancy dinner.”She was pressing her knuckles into the surface of the concrete again, frowning. “I don’t use his last name. I use my mom’s. I never spend time with him , anyway. I never really did. If I’m “with him,” I’m with his security team, or his secretaries. I tried to emancipate myself last year, but it upset my mom so much she got worse, so I gave up…”“Could I ask… what’s wrong with your mom?” Pain asked.Konan sighed. “Uh, quite a bit. It’s okay,” she said quickly when Pain started to say I’m sorry, you don’t have to, “She’s been sick for a long, long time. She has an auto-immune disease, but her doctors can’t seem to diagnose it properly, so it’s really rare. And now she keeps getting diagnosed with other things. Chronic fatigue syndrome’s the usual, hyperthyroidism, anxiety, BPD…schizophrenia,” Konan said quietly, watching Pain under her eyelashes. He nodded. “She’s usually… pretty out of it. Her treatment plan keeps her pretty drugged up a lot of the time. But almost always sweet, when I see her. Gentle,” she whispered. “Totally the opposite of dad.”An old anger flared inside her. She frowned down at her hands.  “He doesn’t even visit her. All the nurses and doctors talk about sending him reports and stuff, but he hasn’t been to see her in years.”Konan caught Pain’s look and shrugged. “Don’t ask me why they’re not divorced. Maybe my dad thinks it’s unacceptable to do so. But if my mom was legally allowed to sign her own divorce petition…” She trailed off on a hollow laugh. “Anyway, my mom being sick is basically why I started the term late. Even though my dad doesn’t care about my mom , he cares about me . Mostly about my health. He’s always paranoid that I’m going to get sick like her. So after the whole thing with my phone and my friends cutting me off, I stayed up in my room and didn’t eat for a couple days. I was just angry, and really upset.” She shrugged. “But he said I was looking weak or sick or something and sent me off for a load of tests and stuff.”“What kind of tests?”“Dunno,” Konan said through the last mouthful of the Snickers. “Bloodwork, heart monitoring... Weighing, measuring. Load of different scans. Lots of injections of this and that. They had me on an IV drip for a while. Nutrients, whatever. They never tell me, because presumably they just tell my dad, and he’s the only one that needs to know. He always makes them run through that kind of stuff. About once a year he decides I look sick, or I’m not growing enough, or I’ve done something to annoy him and he sends me to a private clinic for a few weeks. It’s stupid.”“Huh. That’s kind of weird.”“Tell me about it.”Pain was quiet for a moment, thinking. Then he asked abruptly, “Can I see your phone?”Konan raised an eyebrow. “Why?”“I wanna see how the other side lives,” he said with a teasing grin. “Me with my five year old beat-up hunk of junk…”Konan snorted, pulled out her cellphone and handed it to him. He whistled. “Pretty nice.” She rolled her eyes and looked back up at the sky as he fiddled around. There was a waxing crescent moon, a shining sliver of nail hanging far above them in the darkness.“Do you use your phone a lot?” Pain asked. There was a note in his voice that made Konan feel uneasy.“Not that much anymore. I mostly use it for music, and taking pictures. I call my mom. I don’t text anybody. If I want to talk to you guys I just walk down the hall. Why?”“Well… I don’t want to concern you, but there’s a mirroring app installed on your phone.”“What does that mean?”Pain turned the screen around. He was in her app list. There was one with a grey square with a red circle in the centre, labeled ‘Data Protection Software.’“I mean… that didn’t just come pre-installed? It’s a privacy setting thing, isn’t it?”Pain shook his head. “It’s not, Konan. It’s really, really not. It mirrors everything on your screen onto a different device.” He handed her back her phone. “It might be how your dad – or something – saw who was in your contacts, who you were messaging.”It felt like Konan’s throat was starting to close up. Her breathing was getting shallower. “What – what do you mean? Why? What should I –”“It’s okay. Breathe. Here’s what we’ll do,” Pain said calmly, holding her shoulders. “No, why would he–?” Konan squeaked.“Hey. Look at me, okay?” His voice was calm and warm. She looked into his violet eyes and her breathing slowed. She inhaled and exhaled with him. Her heart beat slowed down. He grinned. “There you go. We’ll be just fine. Now, do you have any of our numbers?”“Um… no. I mostly just talk to you guys.”“Okay. Did you take any photos or videos of us?”“Yeah.”“Okay. I’ll send those to myself, and we can delete them. I think it’s best if whoever’s watching your phone doesn’t think you’re friends with all of us, or that you’re remaining friends with all of us.”“Won’t they… whoever… see your phone number if you send them?” She wasn’t sure why she was whispering, but she couldn’t help it. She was scared.  As if he knew what she was feeling, he gave her a reassuring smile and said, “It’s okay. Watch.”She watched obediently as he popped out his SIM card, opened up the back of his phone case, pulled out a sheet of tiny QR codes, and scanned one. After scanning it, he tore it off the sheet and put it in his pocket. “It’s an e-SIM,” he explained. “Why do you have so many?”“Emergencies like these?” he said with a smile. “Not really. I got them for sometime stupid. A prank or something. But I kept them because they’re just kind of useful to have on hand, in case,” he shrugged.He set up his phone again with the new number, downloaded Whatsapp, then sent Konan’s photos of all of them having fun outside, of Kakuzu pushing Hidan’s face down into a bowl of cereal, of Sasori’s icing unibrow, to himself. “Ta-da! I’ll send them back to you once we get you a new phone, and I’ll switch my SIM card back.”“A new phone? Won’t they notice if I stop using this?”“So keep using it. For music, and to call your mom. Take pictures of birds and things. But use the new phone for texting us if you want to, and taking pictures of your friends. For anything you don’t want… whoever… to know about, in case it causes a problem.”“Okay.” She bit her lips. The mass of roiling panic and paranoia inside her ( Who installed a mirror app on my phone? Why? Was it Dad? Why!? What has he seen?? Have I watched any porn on my phone, oh my god!??) felt muffled slightly, like a powerful current hidden beneath gentle waves. Shining above them was a thought that gave her a warm feeling of safety: Pain is here. He’s looking after me.  “Thank you,” she said, nudging his knee with hers as he handed her back her phone. “You’re a really good friend.”His eyes flicked down for the barest half-second, then he smiled at her. “Anytime. And now… we should probably be getting back,” he said, patting her leg and standing up. He grabbed her helmet for her and they headed back to the motorbike. The ride home passed in a blur of wind and racing thoughts. Konan followed Pain back inside the equipment cage, through the classroom, along the hallways, and back through the emergency exit in a daze, running through their entire conversation, coming back over and over again to her phone, and whether or not it was her father who was spying on her.It was only later, after she’d showered and crawled into bed, that she realized what she’d said. Fuck!! She slapped her hands to her forehead and groaned in embarrassment.
Thank you… you’re a really good friend.

Really good friend…

Friend. Friend. Friend.

Did I just friendzone MYSELF!??

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Konan lay awake, her mind racing.  Calm down, calm down… Maybe Pain didn’t notice. He’s probably not even thinking about it. Just because I called him a really good friend doesn’t mean I ONLY think of him as a friend. He’s not silly enough to take that seriously, right? If he thinks he’s being friendzoned, would he be mad at me, though? Only if he were even like 2% interested in me… I mean, he shouldn't be mad, that’s so immature… but he’s 17!! He’s immature! He’s a teenage boy and teenage boys are so stupid!!! Argh!! Eventually she gave up on sleep. There was a soft beam of light glowing under the door to Sasori’s room, and she could hear sounds like he was moving around, so she got up and padded over to it and knocked softly “Hey,” she said as she opened the door, “Could you give me some advice….” Konan trailed off, realizing what she had walked in on.Sasori was on his knees on the bed, head buried between Deidara’s bent legs, gripping his thighs, a muffled groan spilling from his lips as Deidara’s hips thrust upwards. Deidara was naked, gasping, back arched, one hand fisted in Sasori’s hair, the other desperately clutching the headboard. As soon as he noticed her, there was a wet pop and Sasori lifted his head and looked around, his arms still wrapped around Deidara’s thighs. “Hey, Konan,” he said, panting.Deidara yelled and fumbled to cover himself with the blanket.“Sorry, sorry, sorry!!!!” Konan squeaked, zipping back out the door and slamming it after her.She dove back into bed, her cheeks burning. After a few seconds, she heard the boys laughing, and then the sounds started again, and now that she knew what they were, it became much harder to just ignore them and try to sleep. She glared sourly at her alarm clock: 3:20 am. She got out of bed with a sigh, grabbed her headphones and opened her laptop. 
Rewatching Hannibal it is… 
–Pain couldn’t sleep. He’d spent the last couple hours doing everything he could to deal with the first of his concerns — he’d swapped his SIM cards back, ordered a new phone for Konan, reconfirmed and re-upped his privacy settings on all his public accounts, swapping VPN locations before he started researching her dad and his company — but had hit a wall and was now ruminating on his second concern.
‘You’re a really good friend.’
He chewed his thumb, thinking. After a minute, he figured since he was awake anyhow, he might as well try and talk it out. He pulled his hoodie on, grabbed his keys, and headed out of the dorm. He unlocked 5b and headed down the hall to Sasori’s room. There was a line of light glowing under the door.  Does that guy ever sleep? Saves me waking him up and pissing him off, though. He knocked once and swung the door open. “Hey, I need to talk to you—”Sasori was naked on the bed, facing away, knees apart and sunk into the mattress, Deidara between them, legs spread loosely, back pressed against the headboard. One of Deidara’s hands was gripping Sasori’s asscheek as he thrust forwards; the other was stroking his cock as Sasori fucked his mouth.Sasori had barely looked around and said “Hi!” when Pain shut the door with a loud “Oh, gross!!”
Nope, nope, nope, not what I needed to see… Why doesn’t he ever put a fucking sock on the doorhandle!? 
He got back to his room and flopped onto the bed, but every time he closed his eyes, he saw Sasori’s ass.
Ugh. Why does being friends with them come with such a high cost?? I run the risk of taking psychic damage every time I go through that door…
Pain rolled over, grabbed his laptop and headphones, and sighed. He and Konan had been talking about Hannibal the other day, and now was as good a time as any for a rewatch. He pressed play on the last episode he’d been watching. Will Graham’s sweaty, haunted face shone on the screen as he awoke, shaking, from a nightmare. 
Me too, Will. Me too.
—At six thirty in the morning, Sasori opened the door to Konan’s room and prodded her awake. “Hmfgh?” she grunted, squinting at him through crusty eyes. “You wanted to talk?” Sasori asked, sitting on the bed.“Oh. Yeah…” Konan fumbled around, shutting her laptop and pulling out her earphones. She’d fallen asleep after about 3 episodes.“Is it a private talk?”“Uh huh…” Konan rubbed her head, trying to remember what she wanted to talk about.“We can get breakfast early and take it to go. Wanna go for a walk?”“Okay.” Sasori grinned at her. “I’ll get coffee and stuff and meet you back here in 20 minutes. Take a shower and get dressed, Sleeping Beauty.” He ruffled her hair.“Thanks…” Sasori was just leaving when Konan’s brain finally kicked into gear. “Sorry about last night…”He smirked at her from the door. “No worries. Got yourself a real good look, though, didn’t you? You pervert.”Konan reddened. “I didn’t mean to..!!”“ Sure you didn’t,” Sasori said before shutting the door with a wink.Konan crawled out of bed and got in the shower. By the time she had got out, brushed her hair and teeth and was starting to dress, Sasori was back with a paper bag that smelled like heaven, and two steaming mugs of coffee. He clicked his tongue when he saw she was still only half dressed.“You’re so slow!”“And you’re watching me dress. Who’s the pervert now?” she asked, too sleepy to bother about Sasori seeing her in her panties. At this point… who even cares…? “Wow, okay. Guess I’ll drink both of these,” Sasori said. waving the steaming mugs. “No, no, no!! I was only joking!” Konan backtracked immediately, and Sasori laughed.Konan pulled on her wool tights and skirt and shrugged on a sweater over her uniform, and followed Sasori down the stairs and out the main doors, which were unlocked at 7:00.They headed outside, their breath fogging before them as they drank their coffee and shared the toasted bagels with cream cheese Sasori had brought, passing Tsunade who was leaning against the wall, Starbucks in hand, talking on the phone.“So, what was so important you had to come barging into my room at three in the morning?” Sasori asked gamely, taking a huge bite of bagel.Konan wiped cream cheese from the side of his mouth with a napkin. (“Thanks, mom,” he said, mouth full.) “I mean, when you put it like that… it’s not that important. But I don’t know who else to talk to about it. They’d probably think I’m being stupid.”“But I won’t?” Sasori asked, eyebrows raised.Konan paused. “I mean you probably will, but like… I feel like you don’t respect me anyways, so I can hardly go down in your eyes.”“Aw! I respect you!” Sasori said in surprise. Then, after a pause, “I mean I don’t show it, but…”Konan laughed, “Well, whatever. I guess I figure if you make fun of me, it won’t hurt my feelings because you make fun of me all the time regardless.”“Okay, fair. So, what is it?”Konan pulled her sleeves down further to cover her hands, and took another sip of coffee, wondering how honest to be.“Before I tell you, and totally on a different subject…” she began, “Aside from Deidara, do you tell all of the others everything? Like are you really, really close with everybody?”Sasori frowned at her, chewing suspiciously. “Uh… In what way?”“I mean, I’m talking to you right now, rather than say, Kakuzu. Because I like him a lot, but I’d say I’m closer with you so far, you know? Like, I trust you. And you said you’d be my brother, so…” she trailed off shyly.“Awww!” He looked genuinely touched. “Stop, that’s so cute.”“But, so, who are you closest to?”“Pain and Deidara,” Sasori said with a shrug. “Then probably Itachi.”“Gotcha.” That’s what she’d thought. And that meant that if she said anything about Pain specifically, Sasori would surely tell his best friend. 
I’ll try keep it vague and casual…
“Okay, so… This is the thing. And please don’t tell anyone else!”“Okay,” Sasori said, sitting down on a low stone wall and finishing his bagel.“Promise?”“I promise.”Konan sighed and steeled herself for impending embarrassment. “Okay. Hypothetically speaking… If you, as a guy, were told by a friend, as a compliment , that you’re a “really good friend”… what would you think?”“That they think I’m a really good friend,” Sasori answered with a shrug.“Would you think they liked you?”“Uh, yeah?”“Just as a friend?”“Probably?”“And, hypothetically speaking,” Konan said, pacing back and forth, gesturing with the end of a bagel, “Would you think that if they had really liked you as more than a friend, that they wouldn’t have said that, and so, might you assume that if they did say that then they don’t like you as more than a friend?”Sasori looked bewildered for a second and then laughed at her.“What? These are valid, important questions! Questions for… research!” she said, folding her arms.“Research, huh?” Sasori asked with a shit-eating grin.“Yeah!”“And, just to check, you’re not asking this because you accidentally friendzoned yourself with someone you like?”Konan stopped pacing and her jaw dropped. “Is that what you think!? Is that what it sounds like!? Did I friendzone myself!?” “I thought this was all hypothetical?” Sasori asked, shit-eating grin widening.Konan stared at him for a second. He’d got her. “Ugh, fine,” she sighed and sat down heavily on the wall next to him.“Sooo….” Sasori said, still grinning broadly, leaning in conspiratorially, “Who is it?”Konan felt herself going red. “I can’t tell you,” she mumbled.Sasori blinked at her. “Why not? It’s Pain, isn’t it?”Konan gaped at him. Sasori smirked back at her. “Bingo.”“How did you know!?” she squeaked when she’d found her voice.Sasori raised his eyebrows, taking another big bite of bagel. “Girl, you’re not that subtle,” he said through his mouthful. “It’s like asking whether Buddy from Elf likes Christmas.”Konan pressed her hands to her face. “Please, please tell me you’re joking.”
Let the ground swallow me up right now… let me die…
“I’m joking,” Sasori said, patting her shoulder. “You’re just not very hard to read.”Thanks,” she said sourly through her hands. “Does Pain know, too!?”Sasori tilted his head to the side, licking cream cheese from the edge of his mouth. “Hmm… Good question. He’s not totally unobservant,” he mused, “So… maybe. But he might be second-guessing himself. And, to be fair, we’ve all only known you for like three weeks. It’s not really long enough to be able to tell if someone acts differently around you… unless you’re a genius like me, of course.”Konan knew she must be bright red. “I don’t suppose you’d tell me if you knew whether or not he likes me?” she asked into her coffee mug.“You’d suppose right. I do have some loyalty, and Pain is my best friend.”“Right,” Konan sighed, looking at the grass.“For my part, I do think you’re exactly his type.”Konan gave him a half-smile. “Thanks. That’s nice of you to say.” Sasori frowned at her. “It’s true.”“Well thanks,” Konan said, finishing her coffee. “I guess it’s a moot point anyway. I friendzoned myself, as you said.”Sasori was still frowning at her, but he followed her lead and got up, folding up the empty bagel bag. They started walking back to the main door.“You can bounce back from that,” he said with a shrug.“How?” “You’ll think of something.”Konan rolled her eyes. “The only reason I’m asking you , opening myself up to this humiliation in the first place, is because I can’t think of something. You don’t have any ideas?”“Gee, I don’t know, how about asking him out?” Sasori said sarcastically.“I can’t… Like you said, he hasn’t known me that long. He’d think I’m crazy,” she muttered. “I just… I don’t want him to think that I don’t think of him as more than a friend.”“You’re a pretty impatient person, huh?”“Kinda!”“So this is what Deidara complains about,” Sasori muttered, grinning. He watched her tap her fingers anxiously on her coffee mug for a few seconds, his expression uncharacteristically unreadable. “Do you want actual advice?” he asked.“Yes, please.”“Keep spending time with him, one-on-one. He likes that. And, even to a total moron, that comes off as hey, I like being together with you, specifically you. Not a bad place to start.”Konan nodded slowly, fiddling with her sleeves.“What are you worried about?” Sasori asked.Konan bit her lips. “Mmm… I guess… I’m scared in case I’m ruining things. I’m scared to lose him as a friend. If he doesn’t like me back, and things get awkward… or if we somehow did get together, and we broke up, I’d…” She looked sideways at Sasori. “I’d lose you in the divorce. I’d lose all of you, and... I’m so scared of that.”Sasori gave her a friendly nudge with his shoulder. “We wouldn’t evict you, you know.”“You’re his best friend. I would lose you.”Sasori glanced at her swiftly. He didn’t answer, but she knew she was right.“Were you and Deidara friends before you started dating?” she asked.Sasori blinked, apparently surprised by the question.  “Uhh… Kind of.”“Kind of?”Sasori looked away, rubbing the back of his neck. “Uh… He was Pain’s friend. I was just kind of… hitting on him all the time. At first.” Konan was trying hard not to smile — Sasori was embarrassed!  “But yeah, we became friends, after a while.”“You weren’t scared of losing him as a friend if things didn’t work out?”Sasori poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue, looking at her thoughtfully. She worried maybe her question could come off as judgemental. She rephrased to what she really wanted to know.“When did you know… that it was worth the risk?”Sasori gazed at her for another moment. “Probably when just being his friend, as good as it was, became unbearable.”Konan blinked. “What do you mean?”Sasori tapped his fingers on his coffee mug and looked out at the fields.“When Deidara came to the school, I asked him out immediately, over and over. I was basically harassing him, honestly,” he said kind of ruefully, scratching his cheek. “At first I was pretty much just having fun. He was super hot, really fun to tease, and I kinda just wanted to hook up with him. It felt like a challenge, to make him admit he liked me.” He genuinely looked kind of ashamed of himself, like he couldn’t believe he had ever thought of Deidara like that.“But then we spent more time together, and I really got to know him… We did become friends. And… I became completely obsessed with him, honestly,” Sasori said with a little laugh, hands in his pockets. “It was like he was all I could see, all I could think about. I mean, I still wanted to fuck his brains out, obviously,” he said, like he was saying that water is wet.“Naturally,” Konan said, nodding.“...But eventually it got to a point, about three months after we met, maybe, where even though it would have completely killed me to lose him, lose his friendship… his laugh, talking to him, the way he took up so much fucking space in my head, in my life… The fact that he wasn’t mine in the way I wanted, that I couldn’t touch him, hold him…” Sasori closed his eyes, biting the inside of his cheek, like he was reliving that frustration.Konan’s heart was pounding harder just listening to him. Have I ever loved anybody like this!? Will I ever love anybody so much? “Frankly, it was a very different situation than yours. Deidara knew I was fucking dying for him, he couldn’t not know. But he didn’t think…” Sasori broke off, took a breath, and started again, his voice quieter, like this was hard for him to relive for her. “He thought I wasn’t serious about him. And he was scared of how he felt about me. But in the end,” Sasori shrugged, “I just kept trying to convince him. I stopped caring if it pissed him off, if it made him run away from me.” “Basically, the fact that there was a chance, however small, that I could get everything I wanted in the world, eventually got so hard to ignore that I just stopped caring about any possible what-if losses. The possibility of being with him was literally driving me crazy. I would have done anything, risked everything. Because the idea that if there was a chance for us to be together, and the only reason we never got together was that I didn’t fight harder for it, that I held back, was worse than losing everything… even him.”“Wow.” Konan stared at him. Sasori shrugged and sipped his coffee. Konan watched a flock of geese fly overhead, heading for the lake. “Thanks for telling me that,” she said.Sasori had turned a little pink. He kept his gaze down on his coffee. “No big deal. I mean, everyone else already knows all about it.”Konan grinned and shoulder butted him gently. “You cutie. You’re so in wuuuuv, huh?”Sasori snorted with laughter. “Um, I think you’re jealous?” Konan shrugged. “I mean… yeah, kind of. You guys seem really happy. And you have a beautiful love story.”“Not if you ask Deidara about it,” Sasori said, rolling his eyes, but unable to hide his smile. “He gets hung up on the details.”“Your campaign of harassment?” Konan guessed.“Details.”Konan smirked. “Maybe I will ask him about it. Get an unbiased version.”Sasori laughed. “Do what you want. He gets embarrassed if he has to talk about it. But don’t think for a second it’s gonna be unbiased. He hated my guts for about a month and a half.”Konan laughed.Anyway,” Sasori said, changing the subject back as they walked up to the school entrance, “When it comes to Pain… You could save yourself a whole lot of trouble by just going to his room, taking off your top, and showing him your nipple piercings.” Sasori snorted. “I think he’d have an aneurism.” “Yeah right!” Konan said, startled into laughter again. “You think I’m not serious!?” Sasori smirked, but before Konan could make another retort, the warning bell for first period rang. They stepped inside to find Deidara walking up to them, holding Sasori’s bag as well as his own. “ There you are, hm. What have you been doing? You hate being late— mmh!” Deidara’s scolding was cut off abruptly when Sasori pulled him down into a deep kiss. When they broke apart, Deidara was grinning and Sasori’s dreamy eyes were triumphant and heated.“Um… I’m gonna go to class…” Konan said, scooting past them awkwardly. She was pretty certain that re-living the story of how they had got together had put some ideas in Sasori’s head, and she sure didn’t need to be around for the results this time. “Have fun!” she waved, “And Deidara, I’m sorry about last night!”“Oh fuck, right, that’s— hey!” Deidara said in surprise as Sasori pulled him by his tie back out the front doors.  —Pain was in the metalshop, working on his Halloween installation when Sasori found him after classes ended for the day.“Hey, gorgeous,” he said, leaning against the doorframe, holding two big cups of coffee.Pain grinned and got up. “One of those had better be for me.”“It’s your lucky day,” Sasori said, passing him the one full of black coffee. “You wanted to talk before, right?”Pain nodded, taking a long grateful sip of coffee. “Yeah. Why don’t you put a fricking sock on your handle, or put up a sign or something? Or hey, crazy thought, lock your door??” he asked as they headed for the equipment cage exit. “I really don’t need to see you frolicking as much as I do.”Sasori smirked. “ So sorry.”“Yeah, that’s a sincere apology,” Pain muttered, but he grinned in spite of himself as they headed out across the field.“So, what did you want to talk to me about so desperately that you had to spoil me and Deidara’s one year anniversary?” Sasori asked.“It’s not your anniversary yet, liar.”Sasori smirked. “Not that kind of anniversary.”Pain rolled his eyes. “I hate that I know this, but it’s not that anniversary yet either.” Sasori laughed in surprise. “Wow, you really are my best friend.”“Yes. I’m your incredibly long-suffering best friend, who has seen many things I wish I hadn’t.”They headed for their usual spot on the bleachers, climbed up and sat on the top. Pain was half-way through his coffee. After such a long night, it felt good to be outside again; the cool wind ruffling his hair and stinging his face woke him up a bit.“Okay,” he began. “I have two things I wanted to talk to you about. The first is a lot more important… at some point it might be necessary to tell the others, but for the moment, I’m just telling you.”“Ooh, I feel special.” “Yeah, yeah.” Pain waved an impatient hand. “Okay. So last night, Konan told me some stuff about her family...”Pain summarized the important parts of the conversation, as Sasori’s eyebrows slowly raised higher and higher on his forehead. “I ordered a new phone for her. It’s blue, so if she’s taking a picture of you with the black one, just… remind her, I guess,” Pain finished with a shrug.Sasori gave a low whistle. “Do you think… Like, with her dad, is it bad-bad, or he’s just controlling? I mean, I don’t agree with it, but there is the argument that as a parent he feels he has a right to know what his daughter’s doing on her phone, to protect her.” He glanced at Pain. “Or do you think it’s something worse?”Pain shook his head, frowning over his coffee. “Man, I dunno. From what she said about their relationship and all that stuff with her old friends, it seems at the very least he’s a pretty ruthless guy in terms of controlling his daughter’s movements wherever possible, and particularly who she spends time with.” He bit his thumb thoughtfully. “He also has a lot of power over the people working for him, even in their personal lives. At the very least, they’re definitely not unionized,” he said, shaking his head with a snort.“Other than that, I’m not sure. I did some digging — it’s not really my specialty so if anything else happens, I might ask Itachi to look into it, but from a quick look, the company is pretty opaque. Very little publicly available information on it.” Pain shrugged. “That’s not necessarily odd for a privately-owned company in biotech and stuff. They fund various research projects at universities and research centers around the world. Stuff on cancer treatments, some tech stuff, but mostly bioengineering, etc. All the language on their website is about ‘pushing the envelope,’ ‘leading the way to the future,’ ‘standing at the cutting edge of destiny,’ that kind of crap.”Sasori whistled. “Fancy.”Pain nodded. “Oh yeah. So her dad’s gotta be pretty fucking loaded, and you’d think he’d be well-known, going to conferences and yacht parties and benefits. Rubbing shoulders. Except he’s not, at least nowhere near anybody with a camera. The guy’s a ghost. He doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page.”“What?” Sasori asked in surprise.“There’s one photo of him on Google. One, and it’s from twenty years ago. Which is crazy, because he must go to conferences and shit. Anybody on the Forbes list or whatever is photographed places, but maybe he has people to lean on to stop them getting out!? I have no idea. He doesn’t do interviews, doesn’t do presentations at conferences, never arrested, never testified in court, nothing.” Pain shrugged. “I mean, none of that has to be sinister, it’s just kind of odd. But, in the meantime, new phone for Konan.”“Yeah… That sounds good,” said Sasori, visibly a bit creeped out.Pain patted him on the back. “One problem at a time, buddy.”“Right. Okay. Happy to chip in on the phone if it means I’m not gonna get doxxed or whatever ““Thanks. And like… could you not tell Konan about any of that? I don’t think she knows that stuff.”Sasori quirked an eyebrow. “She’s kind of naïve, huh?”Pain shrugged.“Maybe. But… I think it’s tough if that’s your own parent. The things that look weird to an outsider might not be weird to their semi-estranged kid, whose dad has always been this way. It just seems like such a fucked up relationship to have, where he’s super distant — barely any direct contact, no real conversations, he doesn’t know her at all — but at the same time, he’s watching everything she does, controlling where she goes, who she knows.” He shook his head. “I don’t blame her for being more focused on her mom. And that’s a whole other can of weird.”“What’s up with her mom?” Sasori asked.“Again, there’s like no trace of her in the public records after she got married. There’s a picture of her from like 1985. Miss Japan contestant.”“Nice.”“Yeah, it was cute. And then she got married to Konan’s dad. Nao Ame marries Shin Arakaki, 1986. And then she disappears.”Sasori’s eyebrows drew together. “Uh… how does a person just disappear?”“Dunno. Konan says she’s been sick for a really long time. It sounds like she’s hardly left the hospital. Physical illnesses, mental illnesses, illnesses with no diagnosis… Seems like her husband pays for treatment at a private clinic, but even that’s fucking weird. He could pay to have her get treatment at home. He has the money, but he doesn’t do it.”Pain leaned in, speaking even quieter. “ Plus, he put Konan in a private clinic for tests, transfusions, injections… before sending her here. And apparently he does that a lot, even if nothing's wrong with her.”Sasori looked weirded out. “Kinda creepy,” he said.“You’re telling me,” Pain said, rubbing his face. “Anyway, so that’s the first thing I wanted to talk to you about.”“And the second thing? As your best friend in the world, you come seeking my advice… what can I do for you?” Sasori asked, striking a dignified little pose, like a venerable sage on a mountain top.Pain raised an eyebrow. “...Nevermind.”“Oh come on,” Sasori said, dropping the act, but Pain was already laughing.“Okay, okay, so the thing about Konan’s phone, that’s secret obviously, but this is like… more secret, okay?”“Let me guess, could this be about your huge crush on Konan?” Sasori asked.Pain was taken aback for a second, then just rolled his eyes and gave a massive, long-suffering sigh. 
When I became friends with this guy, did I black out and sign some kind of deal with the devil?
“You know what? I fucking hate you,” Pain said as Sasori laughed. “I don’t want to ask how you know, because it’s gonna be something really annoying and hurtful…”True to form, Sasori immediately put on a stupid voice and said, “Ooh, is your lock broken? Let me fix it with my big strong hands and my toolbox full of tools, look how helpful and capable I am… Ooh, which nasty perverts have been spying on Konan in the shower, boo hoo hoo, why am I the only one who hasn’t seen anything, even though I want to soooo badly… Oooh Konan, check out my motorbike, aren’t I such a cool sexy badboy… Oooh lemme just stare at her all the time with a stupid grin on my face like a big dumb marshmallow baby…” “Oh shut up,” Pain said, shoving Sasori sideways. “I knew you’d be a huge dickhead about this.”Sasori was still laughing.“Okay, okay, are you gonna stop taking the fucking piss and give me advice, or am I going to have to tell Deidara about the promise ring you have waiting for him in your sock drawer…?”“Hey!” Sasori said. “Okay fine, fine. What do you want me to tell you? What kind of underwear she’s wearing today? What her nipple piercings look like? Because they are…” He blew a chef's kiss.“You already told me about them, thanks very fucking much. Why did you tell me right in front of her!?” Pain groaned, putting his head in his hands, still embarrassed, “I couldn’t look at her the whole rest of the night! And I mean, I already couldn’t look at her…”Sasori drained his coffee. “Yeah, I know.”“Wait, wait, how do you know what underwear she’s wearing today!?”Sasori just grinned at him. “No big reason.”Pain rolled his eyes. “Aw man…” He sighed heavily, raking a hand through his hair.“So, you’re pretty hung up about her, huh?” Sasori asked mildly, watching him.Pain flopped sideways against him with a groan. “She’s driving me crazy. She’s so easy to talk to, and she’s so nice, and funny, and fucking cute… ugh .”“There, there,” Sasori said flatly, patting him on the head.“Come on, I’m seriously asking for advice from my best friend. You so owe me from the hours I spent listening to you moan about Deidara last year. The least you could do is pretend to care,” Pain said sourly.Sasori sat up straight, immediately focused and enthusiastic. “True that. Okay, taking it seriously. What’s up, bestie? I am here for you.”Pain snorted. “Okay, thank you. Now, as a preface— I don’t really believe in the friendzone…”Sasori bit his lips together, apparently to stop himself from laughing.  So much for taking it seriously, Pain thought, but ignored it. “Anyway, you know me, I’m not like those guys who are like, oh this girl only thinks of me as a friend, what a bitch, now I’m gonna be a pissy baby forever, friendship sucks, she owes me love, blah blah blah…” Pain made a face. “No. Friends are very important. I love being a good friend to people, and I’m very happy that Konan thinks I’m a good friend, and no matter what, friendship in any form is a blessing…”Sasori was obviously killing himself trying not to laugh.“That being said…” Pain said, catching Sasori’s eye and laughing in spite of himself. “So, I took her out on the bike for her birthday, and it was really fun, she had a great time. Then we started talking about her parents, which was kind of a bummer (my fault, I asked her). Talked about that. And then she said, ‘you’re a really good friend’.” Pain shrugged and took another sip of coffee. “So, I’m like 95% sure that that was all it meant — I was being a good friend to her, so she said so. I appreciate that she thinks so. But in your opinion… Do you get the vibe that she might think of me as more than a friend, or do you think definitely not, this was her shutting down any energy I was putting out, letting me know we are totally platonic which would be fine , but—”“But… the nipple piercings…” Sasori said dreamily. Pain kicked him in the shin and he burst out laughing.“Okay, okay. In my totally unbiased opinion—” Sasori began.“What do you mean, unbiased? You’re my best friend! Be biased! I need reassurance!” Pain said jokingly.“Right, well from a totally observational standpoint, Konan sure spends a lot of time with you, for ‘just friends’ .”Pain snorted. “Actually, I think she spends the most time with you, mister don’t-put-a-lock-on-my-door-to-Konan’s-room…”Sasori grinned. “Everybody needs friends, man.”“Why does she need my friend though?” Pain laughed, half-joking. “Come on man, think of the possibilities here,” Sasori said, swinging an arm around Pain’s shoulders. “Think about it. If I’m her friend and your friend, I can give you inside info.”Pain grinned. “As sleazy and suspicious as you can be…”“Ouch.”“...I kinda think that especially if it were something she thought you’d keep secret, you wouldn’t tell me.”Sasori smiled. “And there’s the compliment I’ve been waiting for. You’re right, I wouldn’t tell you something secret… not that she’s told me anything, obviously,” he added quickly. The rugby team was walking out onto the field to start practice. Pain and Sasori scooted further up the bleachers to avoid the players’ friends who were coming out to watch.“Okay, what were we talking about?” Sasori said, settled at the top and zipping up his coat as the wind picked up.“Konan.”“Oh yeah. Okay, yes, she spends a lot of time with me, totally not in a romantic way…”“Promise you’re not recruiting her for a polycule?”Sasori tugged at his lower lip with his thumb. “Um… no. How do I say this… Objectively, Konan’s cute, sure,” Sasori said, talking over Pain’s splutter of ‘ I didn’t think you’d take the question seriously!’  “But you know how jealous I get, and more to the point, you know how jealous Deidara gets.”“Oof… yeah.” “So, for our own happiness, sanity, and the safety of others… it’s a closed relationship.”Pain laughed. “Thank fucking god.”“Anyway, Konan and I hang, but she’s never talked about her family with me. If she’s opening up about that with you, that sounds like a good sign, right? She trusts you.” Sasori said reasonably. “And didn’t you say something about having a nice conversation with her about your detentions?”Pain sighed, and couldn’t stop himself from smiling. “Yeah, it was really nice. I was hanging out in the hall after you saw me come back that time, and she came out for a drink of water or something, and she sat down next to me, and…” He scratched his cheek, looking away from Sasori to try and hide his smile.“I dunno, man, it was just really… really nice… I wasn’t really talking, and she said ‘Talk to me’ so I did… and just like…” He sighed again.Sasori’s eyes flicked left and right like he thought he was being filmed for a prank. “Um, hello? What’s with the dreamy sighs and the blushing and the tee-heeing? She sat next to you and said ‘talk to me’!? That’s it!?”Pain shoved him gently. “Come on, it was really nice of her. And then she, like, leaned her head on my shoulder, and she smelled so good , and I felt like I was going crazy because I just wanted to kiss her…”Sasori mimed being sick over the back of the bleachers and Pain laughed.“Well if you two had that magical moment together,” Sasori said sarcastically, “How could you be thinking she sees you as just a friend? She’s not snuggling up to me telling me everything’s gonna be okay… which I would appreciate , actually, my life is very hard…”Pain snorted with laughter again. “She’s really sweet, she’d probably do it if you asked her. But anyway,” he said, leaning closer to Sasori so the girls a couple rows below them couldn’t hear, “You think she might be into me?”“Based on the evidence…,” Sasori tilted his head to one side. “Wellll… she could just be kind of oblivious and think you’re her best friend.”“Oh,” Pain said, slightly deflated.“But here’s the part where I’m your best friend,” Sasori said, giving Pain a poke. “I was going to keep this to myself… You know how I hate to gossip…”“You’re a paragon of virtue,” Pain grinned.“...And you know how good I am at reading people…”“Sherlock Holmes could never .”“Exactly. You remember that day you beat up that guy?”“I do vaguely remember that, yeah. It fucking sucked.”“And I took Konan away from the fight?”“Yeah…”“And you and Hidan joined us outside the boy’s hall, and you were really angry, y’know, eyes all dark, panting, fists clenched, muscles flexing, knuckles like you’d been punching a shark, etc, and then you stormed off in a huff without saying a word to her…”Sasori examined his nails, clearly enjoying himself. 
Drama queen.
Pain scowled. “I mean, you don’t have to spell out that I was a huge dickhead, but yeah.”Sasori looked him full in the face, wearing his biggest shitbird smirk. “I have never seen anybody more obviously thirsting for someone as much as Konan was when she was looking at you looking like that. I thought her eyes were going to fall out of her head.”Pain gaped at him. Sasori grinned and slapped him on the back. “Safe to say, she thinks you’re hot as hell, man.”Pain stared at him, feeling his face heating up. It felt like his chest was seizing up with excitement.
Seriously…!? Could she maybe be… into me? But—
The happiness train came to a screeching halt. “I don’t want her to think I’m hot when I’m angrier than I’ve ever been in my fucking life!!” he blurted out and Sasori laughed. “That’s not healthy!”“I’ve got no advice for that, man. Maybe she needs therapy or something. You could try get the same effect by going for a run or something. Hit the gym.”“I go to the gym, you’re the one who doesn’t go to the gym.” Pain grumbled.“Okay, so go to the gym , get all sweaty and flexy and then go to Konan—”“If I’m sweaty, she might think I stink!”“Okay, your B.O. issues are not my problem…”They started laughing and just kept arguing and shooting the shit for a while until they realized they would be late for dinner. They stomped down the bleachers and headed for the school.“Now, sorry if this last piece of advice is way out of left field,” Sasori said as they passed the old greenhouse, “But have you thought of, oh I don’t know… asking her out?” Pain grimaced. “I mean, yeah, but I’ve only known her for like three weeks. She might think that’s kind of weird.”Sasori rolled his eyes and shook his head, mouthing Why me? at the sky.“Who knows?” he responded aloud, “Maybe she’s thinking the same thing. Maybe you guys are exactly the same, and you're both completely crazy… ”Pain shrugged, burying his hands in his pockets. “Well, I dunno. I feel like it’s gotta be the perfect moment, you know? I can’t just ask her out at breakfast. It’s gotta be special. Just like… she’s so cool, and amazing and stuff…” He trailed off, bashfully kicking a pile of fallen leaves.Sasori gave him an unimpressed stare. “Remember when I was an amazing friend to you, and I brought you coffee, listened to your problems, and gave you advice? Why are you paying me back with this notice-me-senpai shit?”Pain laughed and shoved him off the path. They passed Tsunade on the way in, chatting with Asuma, who was on a smoke break. She glanced at Sasori.“You’re getting a lot of fresh air today, Mr. Akasuna,” she said. “Attending classes as well, I trust?”“Naturally,” Sasori replied, ignoring the curious look from Pain as they headed inside for dinner.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The school was going crazy. Halloween, which was coming up fast, was apparently the favourite holiday of the year, for both students and staff.Konan herself was getting caught up in the excitement of decorating the school: each student had an individual assignment of decorating one section of the school for Halloween. Konan was supposed to decorate the ceiling of the lunch hall, and she had a great idea for it. However, her idea required a much bigger time commitment than anticipated, not to mention collaborating with other students for the rigging and motors, so she was exhausted.Her brain bandwidth also hadn’t been helped by the fact that Pain seemed to be dealing with the extra stress by going to the gym more, and his project seemed to involve a lot of work with a blow torch, so he was often coming to lunch flushed and sweaty, or damp from a shower. Lunchtime had become a battle of will for Konan, trying to keep her eyes on her plate instead of following the path of a drop of water down his neck, his shirt sticking to his chest as he caught his breath, the flex of his arms as he cracked his knuckles and stretched his hands, or the flush of colour on his cheeks. There had been a particularly embarrassing incident just the other day when Pain had come to dinner straight from the weight room. As he had pulled his hoodie off, his shirt had pulled up, too, exposing his chest and stomach before he noticed and tugged it back down. Konan had full-on missed her mouth with her fork, watching his muscles flexing and curving under his skin as he stretched. Her gaze traveled over several studs running down his chest, a nipple ring, and a faint trail of hair leading down from his belly button, disappearing below his waistband. She had actually swallowed. And then she’d caught Sasori watching her with a shit-eating smirk and raised eyebrows, and had immediately pulled out a book to hide behind, pretending to read, before Pain saw how red her face was. I am a huge pervert and should not be allowed in public. I am a huge pervert and should not be allowed in public, she had thought to herself furiously, over and over, trying very hard not to acknowledge that she was definitely going to be thinking about that nipple ring and happy trail for the rest of the day. Instead of her project. Fuck. The day before Halloween, she trudged into the lunch hall from her origami class, feeling so worn-out it was like somebody had used her as a dishcloth. Twenty times, on a cheese grater. She was gazing dumbly at the stack of juice boxes, trying to make her brain start working again to decide between orange and apple, when one of the lunch ladies came around and handed her an enormous mug of coffee.“You look like you need it today,” she said kindly and waved Konan on her way.Konan carried her lunch tray over to the usual table, where the others were already chatting and laughing. It felt like her sanity was hanging by two threads, and one of them was the coffee on her tray. She sat down next to Pain. If I hear the word Halloween one more time…  "So, how's your Halloween project going?" he asked her.Konan's head hit the table. “That good, huh?” he asked through a bite of toast.Konan groaned and raised her head. “I’m going crazy. This whole thing is absolutely hopeless. I’ve barely slept in the last whole week, I have like a million paper cuts, the hot water in my shower stopped working—”“I know , it fucking sucks,” Sasori said from her left.Pain gave her a friendly nudge. “I’m sure your project will look awesome when it’s done. We were going to go check out Itachi’s installation after lunch. You wanna come?”“Yeah…” Konan said, taking a bite of pasta salad. She was excited about seeing all the cool artwork around the school, she just wished she was finished hers, too.“You’re excited for the dance, though, right?” Deidara asked her, leaning forward across the table. “It’s always the best one of the year.”“Hell yeah it is!” Hidan chimed in, leaning forward across Kakuzu, ignoring the other boy when he started poking him with a fork to get him out of the way. “It’s the only reason I even go to this fucking shithole!” “Yeah, right!” Konan laughed. “What’s so cool about the Halloween party?” she asked.Deidara shrugged. “Aside from the ridiculous amount of liquor Hidan sneaks into the punch every year? Not a lot. I mean, it’s the best of the school parties. Over the summer, there are parties in the empty barn by the lake, and those are more fun. But at least for the Halloween party, you don’t have to be dressed up as an elf or snowflake or fucking cupid or something.”“Shizune sure does love a theme, huh?” Konan said, reading the soulless looks on the boys’ faces at the apparent memory of last year’s Christmas and Valentine’s day parties.“Do you guys have your costumes all ready?” Kisame asked from down the table. The boys around her nodded. Konan just banged her head back down on the table. “Oookay, nobody talk to her until November,” Sasori said, covering Konan’s head with a napkin. “She needs help.”After lunch, they headed to the classroom that Itachi and a group of other students had turned into what they were calling an ‘illusion chamber.’ They had made the floor crooked and repainted the walls, so as soon as you stepped inside you felt completely off-balance. There was some kind of fog machine that started up via motion sensor, and the further you walked into the room, the further away from your destination you seemed to be. It took Konan a full minute to realize they had replaced the back wall with a video display showing the wall shrinking away from her. Red lights shone through the fog, and when she turned back to the door, a huge mirror had been lowered in front of it, so it was like she was trapped in a disorienting pocket universe. Konan knocked to be let out, and found her balance was completely out of whack when she stepped back onto level ground, so she started to fall sideways until Pain caught her around the waist and set her upright again. “That’s so cool, Itachi!” she said after smiling at Pain in thanks. “Did you do the mural and the lighting?” “Yeah,” Itachi said with a small smile. “This room is one of the collaboration projects between several classes. We wanted to set a timer to fill the room with fake blood after a minute, but the blood would have been really hard to clean up between sessions. We made info sheets about the creation process,” he said, handing her a little red pamphlet.“Oh, cool!” A few more students had joined them outside the room, as they waited while Sasori and Deidara went inside. A girl Konan didn’t recognize came up with a group of her friends, heading right for them.“Hey, Pain! You’re checking out the room?” the girl said, walking right up to Pain, who turned to smile at her. “Yeah, it looks really cool,” he said. “You did a great job.”“Aw, you really think so? You’re so sweet!” she giggled. She had beautiful chestnut hair that fell past her hips. A loop of it was tied in a bun on top of her head, and she had swooping bangs that fell across one of her emerald eyes. She had perfect winged eyeliner, cherry red lipstick, and smelled like strawberry body spray. Konan looked her up and down subtly, pretending to be reading the information sheet Itachi had handed her. She was very curvy; she had altered the uniform skirt so it was full-length, but she wore the shirt tied completely off her shoulders, highlighting her cleavage.
She’s super hot…
“Here, I want to show you how we set up the smoke machines!” she said, looping her arm through Pain’s and pulling him back inside after Sasori and Deidara emerged from the room.After the door had shut behind them, Konan sidled up to Itachi.“Do you know her?” Konan asked in a low voice. Itachi looked around at her. “Who, Mei?”Konan nodded. “That’s her name?”“Mei Terumī. She’s in sixth year. She’s one of the students from another class who worked on the illusion chamber.”“And I guess she and Pain are… friends?” Konan asked, trying to sound casual. “They seem to know each other really well...”Itachi nodded, adjusting the stack of info pamphlets on the table outside the door. “Yeah.”Konan immediately realized that Itachi was as different as it was possible to be from Sasori as an information source. She was going to have to be pretty explicit.“Do you know if they’re, like, dating, or if they dated before, or if he likes her…?” she asked in a low voice, throwing caution to the wind.Itachi raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know about that. I mean, they definitely have chemistry together.”“Gotcha,” Konan said, and retreated. She sidled over to the other side of the corridor, where Deidara and Sasori were hanging out, but didn’t join their conversation. She scuffed her shoe against the wall, hands in her pockets.  I mean… Fair. If I were Pain, I would be all over her, Konan thought glumly. When Pain still hadn’t come back out of the room five minutes later, Konan told the others she had to go work on her project and headed off, a little huffily. 
If he’s going to seize the opportunity and make out with her for ages, why couldn’t he warn us not to wait around!? 
She headed back to the origami classroom and pulled out her drawer of work. She put in her headphones, lined up her loudest, most mind-numbing metal playlist, and started folding as fast as her hands would go, pushing through when they started to cramp up. She skipped dinner and waved Pain away when he stopped by with an offer to keep her company.“Thanks, but I’m really behind,” she said with a quick smile, her hands never stopping.At four in the morning, she wheeled her huge bin of completed pieces on a trolley into the lunch hall, looking around for the ceiling rig that Shikamaru had built for her. She found the remote he had told her about to lower it, set up a ladder, and started looping wires around the pulleys.By five thirty, she was finished. She had a hundred and fifty black origami bats, all attached to near-invisible stiff wire in intervals. She raised the rig back up to its ceiling track, and pressed the ON button to test it. She couldn’t help cheering, all by herself in the dim lunch hall, as her swarm of bats flew around the room, raising and lowering in an ominous cloud. She adjusted the timer so it would fly around by itself, then cleaned up and headed back to bed. Well… I guess not really ‘to bed,’ she thought grimly, stifling an enormous yawn, I have to get ready for Halloween…. She headed into the boy’s hall (Shizune had kept the main doors unlocked that night, to accommodate students working late on their installations), unlocked 5a, the her own door, and finally belly flopped down on her bed. A thin beam of golden sunlight was already shining through the window. “I don’t want to get up…” Konan groaned into her pillow.“Too bad, babycakes. It’s Halloween!” Sasori’s voice said from above her, and then she was being rolled like an unbaked bread loaf. “Go away…” she moaned as he rolled her around.“Wakey wakey! I need you to do my face paint!”“Rarrrghh… I don’t wanna….” Sasori laughed. “You are so sleepy , huh? Here, I’ll fix that.” He left, heading for her bathroom.“No… no water…” Konan groaned, covering her face, but Sasori came back with a wet towel anyway and wrung it out on her head. “Cold!!”“Facepaint please!”Chuntering darkly, Konan heaved herself out of bed, washed her face, brushed her teeth, and put her hair in a bun. She poured a glass of water and held her hands out for the paints and brushes Sasori had ready.“What are you being again?” she asked, handing him a hairband to hold his bangs out of his face.“Human puppet.”“Right.”They listened to Sasori’s music (mostly Adam Lambert and Charli XCX) as Konan used a sponge to paint hollows in his eyes and carve out the hollows of his cheeks, then painted joint lines down the sides of his mouth and around his eyes. She painted a final line around the top of his neck to make his head look ‘attached’.“All good?” she asked, holding up a mirror for him.“Gorgeous, of course. Thanks.” “Brilliant, now shoo. I need to change, and I only have 20 minutes.” Konan said, pointing at the door. Sasori drooped sadly, walking away like a kicked puppy. “Oh come on!” Konan said impatiently and he laughed, hurrying up.She grabbed the costume she had sewed together last week from the dresser, and locked the bathroom door behind her. She looked sadly at her reflection; she looked like a raccoon after a rough night out. 
Yikes. 
She jumped in the shower, sighing gratefully as the hot water poured over her tired body. It had been fixed last night, thank god. She wasn’t very excited about Halloween anymore, or about her costume. She had been kind of fantasizing about what might happen at the party, if she might have been able to ask Pain to dance, or if they might hang out after, maybe she could have gathered the courage to ask him out…
That’s all kind of pointless now, I guess. Mei Terumī’s probably going to the party as a Playboy Bunny, or a sexy nurse, or a sexy cat, or a sexy devil, or a sexy maid, or a sexy ophthalmologist,  or…
She felt stupid for letting herself get carried away with her crush on Pain. Sure, Sasori had said she was his type , but that didn’t really mean anything. Hell, Mei Terumī was her type, but she wasn’t about to ask her out. Plus, Pain had his own life, he might have secrets from his best friend. He might have a crush on Mei, or they might have been dating secretly for weeks... 
Why am I so good at bumming myself out!?
She toweled herself off, washed her face, and put on moisturizer, trying to psyche herself up. Tonight I’m just going to have fun with my friends. And it’ll be great. So what if Mei has a huge rack and could definitely pull off a Pam Anderson Baywatch swimsuit? Good for Mei. Maybe I’ll ask her to dance, if Pain doesn’t want to. …Why does Pain’s taste in women seem to be the exact same as mine!? How is that fair!? She tied up her hair, pulled on a wig cap, followed by the long black wig she had borrowed from the theatre department. She wet-combed it away from her face and put on the white spaghetti-strap dress with black lace she had sewn last week, then started to apply make-up.When her lashes were done and she had made herself look pale and vaguely undead, she pulled out the bottle of fake blood. “Time to get messy,” she murmured as she smeared it over the lower half of her face, down her chest and across her top.When she was finished, she shoved in the set of plastic teeth, squeezing more blood over them. By that point, she had about five minutes to grab her stuff together in time to go to breakfast. She grabbed her bag, swung open her door, and ran right into Pain. “Hey, I was just coming to get you,” he said, and then looked her up and down. “Woah, you look awesome!” “Thanks,” Konan grinned through the fake teeth. “You, too. Very spooky.”Pain laughed. “Those teeth..”She’d forgotten he was being Kazuo Kiriyama. He was wearing black pants and an open black uniform jacket with a white shirt underneath. He had a duffle bag slung over his shoulders. His orange hair was all back-combed and messy, and he was wearing opaque white contacts, with streams of blood pouring from his eyes.“I guess you can’t have the gun, too, huh?” she asked, looking him up and down.“Yeah.” He shrugged. “You’re Megan Fox?”“From Jennifer’s Body! ” Konan said with a smile. She tried to say it again – the plastic teeth made every ‘s’ sound like ‘th’. “‘ Jenniferth Body…’” She shrugged. “The teeth give me a little bit of a lisp.”Pain laughed. “Yeah, they sure do. Lithp.” “Shut up.” They headed to the lunch hall together, and found the others at the table already.“You got your bats done!” Deidara said, pointing as Konan came over. “They’re so cool, Konan!” “Thank you so much!” she said, beaming as the others looked up at the swarm of origami bats swooping around the room. “You guys look awesome!” she said, her jaw dropping as she saw all their costumes, ignoring them when they all cracked up at her lisp.“Gee, thankth…” Sasori said, snickering over his mug of tea.Kisame was being a super intelligent shade of the colour blue, and seemed to have painted himself more blue than usual, but aside from a blue t-shirt, that was basically it. Itachi, however, had nailed Edward Scissorhands to an almost alarming degree, complete with wax scars on his face and the full leather-buckle outfit (plus scissor hands, of course). Deidara was wearing a white suit and was completely drenched in fake blood, getting it all over everything he was touching. Kakuzu was an oni, and had airbrushed himself red, was shirtless with a huge rope tied around his waist, and curved horns glued to his forehead. Hidan was a satanist, and so was also shirtless with a huge pentagram ‘carved’ into his chest and a fake scythe. Konan went to grab some breakfast, and looked around the hall to see everyone’s costumes. She waved at Ino and Sakura, who were both dressed as Mean Girls characters: Regina as a playboy bunny, and Karen as a mouse (duh!). Sasuke Uchiha was dressed as The Crow, Rock Lee was Bruce Lee in his yellow jumpsuit, and Tsunade was Marilyn Monroe. There were zombies, skeletons, gargoyles, witches, vampires, werewolves, and more.
This school sure does go all-out for Halloween…
Aside from her cloud of bats, there were murals all over the dining hall; demons, monsters, zombies, and skulls stretched over the walls. Every table had a sculpture on it, some made of clay, others made of metal or wood. There were totems made of corpses, sculptures of bones, plague rats, recreations of famous scary movie scenes, and more.Throughout the day, Konan spent time exploring hallways she didn’t usually have to walk down to try and see all the exhibits and paintings all the other students had done. Huge sculptures of homages to various Saw traps that Pain had made stood in the hallway outside the metalshop. In another hallway were a dozen intricate paintings of different systems of the human body, so detailed they looked frighteningly real. In one area of the school, everyone in the theatre department was dressed up as killer clowns and would race at you when you tried to get to your classroom. Sasori’s artwork — three human-sized puppets impaled with saws — hung from the centre of the hallway leading to the gym, and they would open their mouths and swing down at you, brandishing swords as you walked past them.By lunchtime, if Konan had ever had any doubts that her school was the most elaborately decorated building for the next hundred miles, they were gone. Every piece of furniture in her painting class was covered with handmade ceramic cockroaches. The girls’ bathroom on the second floor was lit red and full of fog. It was very difficult to pee in peace when horrible screams and clangs kept echoing around the room, and when she went to wash her hands, the water that came out of the pipes was bright red. Kisame had created a huge papier-mache shark that looked like it had disemboweled someone at the edge of the swimming pool. Hidan had erected a pentacle of blood and severed body parts across one of the walls of the gym. Kakuzu had set up several body bags hanging from the sewing room ceiling, all oozing red paint and dangling clumps of string that looked like entrails. A fourth year student called Gaara had made a massive, monstrous sand sculpture in the east wing, which took up an entire staircase. One wall of the choir room had been replaced by a huge screen, which had a hologram-like display showing ghosts and monsters banging on the walls and reaching out into the room.Konan sat down for lunch, her eyes exhausted from looking this way and that to make sure she wasn’t stepping on anything, anybody, or worse, triggering one of the many booby traps that was set throughout the school to hurl blood, rubber spiders, or something else unpleasant at the unwary passerby. She pulled open her phone to check her make-up; she’d had to take out her rubber teeth early in the day, as they chafed against her gums (not to mention the lisp), but the blood was holding up pretty well. She found Sasori and Deidara in the queue for spaghetti. “Hey! How’s it going?” Deidara asked her.“Pretty good! We’ve hardly been able to do any actual work in class, since there’s so much stuff everywhere, but other than that…” Konan shrugged. “You were right, Halloween is pretty crazy here!”“Wait til you see the dance hall,” Sasori said with a grin.“I don’t think I’ve seen your work yet, Deidara,” Konan said as she loaded up her tray with a bowl of spaghetti bolognese. Deidara grinned at her. “It’s on a timer, set to go off in…” He checked his phone. “About five minutes.”“That’s kind of ominous,” Konan said with a laugh. Deidara just waggled his eyebrows at her as Sasori rolled his eyes behind him.“It’s a bomb. Of course ,” Sasori said, with a huge fake yawn.“Stop disrespecting my craft!” Deidara snapped back, elbowing him jokingly.Five minutes later, when their lunch table was full, Deidara waved for their attention and they all looked over at the huge sculpture of a laughing head, which was positioned on a platform at the other end of the lunch hall. It started emitting a loud countdown, and the students closest to it backed away or tried to cover their lunch. 3…2…1…  With a loud bang, the huge head exploded, and a shower of red viscera rained upon the students, who screamed and laughed, trying to cover their heads. “What is all that?” Konan asked Deidara, who was standing up and cheering.“It’s just like gummy stuff. Made from gelatin and corn syrup, hm.”“Oh gross!!” Konan laughed, realizing several pieces had fallen in her spaghetti.–Might Guy didn’t make them get changed for gym class, as he acknowledged that most of their costumes would take half the class just to get off and on again. He himself was dressed as a ninja turtle.“Okay, my little athletes!” he called as they assembled on the bleachers, looking a bit like a freakshow – among the crowd were Big Bird, the Grudge, Batman, Pennywise, and Cousin It –  “It’s a wrap on volleyball. We’ll be doing a mini unit of swimming before moving on to the annual dance unit, so prepare to float through the water like dolphins next week!”There was a loud groan. Konan glanced at Pain. “You guys do dance every year?” she asked him.He nodded. “First year is square dancing. Then it was…”“Jazz,” Sasori said glumly.“Then hip hop, then salsa,” Pain rounded off. “ Every winter term. It sucks, and there’s always a showcase in front of the school… Luckily I’m pretty sure it’s up to us this year.”Konan made a horrified face and Pain sighed, nudging her shoulder with his. “You’ll be fine.”“Now, just to state the obvious,” Guy was saying, his voice raised slightly to cover the conversations that had broken out, “Everyone will need a swimsuit for the swimming unit. If you don’t have one, get one by Monday. Now, if anyone has any questions, I’ll be in my office… be free, and enjoy your youth at the party tonight!”“No class, I guess?” Hidan said, getting up and stretching.“Probably a safety hazard for old Big Bird,” Pain said, jerking a thumb at Naruto Uzumaki in his huge yellow costume.“I’m just gonna talk to Guy,” Konan said, getting up and holding her white dress around her as she hopped down the bleacher stairs. She leaned around the door to his office, where he was typing on his computer. “Konan, what can I do for you?” he asked, taking another moment to finish a sentence before looking at her.“Um, about the swimming unit– ““You need to get a swimsuit?”“Yes, I don’t have one.”“There’s a store in the village. You have the weekend to pick one up.”“Yeah, that’s fine, but…” She scuffed her shoe on the floor, feeling a bit silly. “I can’t actually swim, though.”Guy raised his prodigious eyebrows. “Can’t swim? Not even a little bit?”“I mean… I’ve never tried.”“Well, now’s the time to do so! No worries, Konan, I’ll prepare some floaties for you, and I’ll just grade you on improvement rather than ability or the racing portion. How’s that sound?”“Okay. Thanks!” She nodded and went back to her friends.They headed out with the rest of class to catch the screening of the Rocky Horror Picture Show that was playing in the theatre before dinner. Volunteers were handing out bags of rice, water bottles, and kazoos as they walked in.Konan hadn’t seen the movie in theatres before, but she got used to the experience and soon started shouting “slut”, “asshole”, and making jokes about the man with no neck with the others.After dinner, they decided to just head back to the dorms and do some pre-drinking before the Halloween party. Some of them were going to change for the party; Itachi took off his scissor hands and Hidan left his scythe in his room.Konan was starting to feel excited again; she hadn’t seen Mei around all day, and Pain was acting totally normally around her, just as friendly as always. She cut the hem of her dress above the knee so she could dance properly, then joined the drinking game Hidan had started with the others.“What are we playing?” she asked, looking at them all writing on bits of paper, folding them, and putting them in a hat.“Straight Faces,” Kisame said with a smile. “Have you ever played?”“I don’t think so,” she said, sitting down and pouring herself a vodka soda. “Everybody writes like, stupid shit on bits of paper. It’s usually dirty jokes and stuff, something to try and make the person reading it laugh. If they laugh, they take a drink,” Hidan explained. “You have to read it out loud, and you can’t smile, make any kind of face, nothing. Nobody listening can react either. Or you drink.”“Sounds like we’re all getting pretty drunk,” Konan said with a snort. “They won’t let us in, though!”“You a lightweight?” Pain said teasingly, grinning at her.“ No , I’m worried about Hidan,” she said coolly, shifting closer to Pain and grabbing a pen and paper from him.“Bitch… you’re crazy,” Hidan muttered, tongue between his teeth as he wrote. “You’ll regret shitting on my name like that.”“We’ll see,” Konan said with a smile. Everyone got a drink or a shot glass, and Kisame set a bottle of tequila in the middle of the circle as they sat around it. They wrote five dirty lines each on paper, cut them up, and tossed them in Konan’s baseball cap.“Ladies first,” Itachi said with a grin, offering the hat to Konan. “That’s not fair!” she said with a laugh. “I can’t always go first…” But she put her hand in the hat anyway and pulled out a piece of paper.The boys all leaned in, staring at her to check for any reaction. She cleared her throat and unfolded the note.“I love sucking huge sloppy ding-dongs,” Konan read, her face impassive, but her voice broke on the last word and she giggled.“DRINK!” The boys chorused, and she took a big sip from her vodka soda.Pain was on her left, and went next. “I am queef face,” he said, steady as a statue. He didn’t have to drink, but everyone else had burst out laughing, and so they all drank.Itachi said “I have a tiny tutu for my penis,” with a straight face, but Kisame, Hidan, and Pain had all snorted with laughter and took another drink.They managed to get past Kisame, Kakuzu, and Deidara without laughing (except for Hidan, who laughed and drank for all three), but when Hidan dissolved into giggles barely three words into “Lick my blobby, blobby ballsack,” everybody laughed and took another drink. Sasori cleared his throat, unfolded his paper, and read, “I wuv to be balls deep in a warm pile of spaghetti, uwu,” but he couldn’t stop himself from grinning and had to take a drink, along with Deidara, Pain, and Hidan who had all laughed at the stupid faces he had made trying not to make a face.It was Konan’s turn again. “Last round,” Sasori said, checking the time, “And then we better go to the party.”Konan bit down on the insides of her cheeks in an effort to prevent her face moving, and unfolded her paper. She snorted with laughter even before she’d read it, and all the boys yelled Driiink!!  “What’s on this?” Pain asked, taking the paper from her. He started to read it out loud (“Konan, please come– “) before cutting himself off with a flustered laugh.Konan picked it up again and read aloud, “Konan, please come to my room tonight and ride my face like a horse.” She snorted with laughter again and tossed the paper back. “Was that you?” she asked Sasori, who tried to look innocent.“Just having fun,” he said with a wink.They got to their feet (Hidan a little less gracefully than the others) and headed out for the Halloween party.—Konan followed the others down to the first floor, and they joined a lineup by some double doors that Konan had never noticed before, and Tsunade herself was letting people in two by two, examining their costumes and checking the contents of peoples’ bags."Dressing up as yourself is not a ticket into the dance. Next!" she called, turning away some disgruntled fourth year.When they finally got to the front of the line and were allowed in, Konan gasped in surprise. They had entered a huge, dark room that was almost as big as the gym. There was spooky glow-in-the dark graffiti and illustrations over the walls, a fog machine on the stage, which sent roiling clouds seeping around their feet, and flashing violet and turquoise lights that lit up the heads and waving arms of the 100 or so students already inside, dancing. The DJ was bobbing his head, one hand in the air, building to a beat drop in a remix of ‘Heads Will Roll’ by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.“This is awesome!!” Konan squealed, beaming at Pain and bouncing up and down. “Let’s go in! Do you wanna dance?”He grinned down at her. “Sure.”They had hardly made it a few steps when Mei emerged from the crowd and headed over to them. “Hey! I was hoping you’d come,” she said to Pain, slinking over close to him. “I wanted to show you what we did for this space…”Konan watched her twirling a lock of hair around her finger and holding her other arm across her waist so it highlighted her chest. 
Dressed up as Jessica Rabbit… And she looks amazing. Of course she does.
Mei’s sequin dress hugged her curves tightly, the sweetheart neckline barely hanging onto her tits. She looped an arm through Pain’s, who looked around, saying something, but Konan was already melting back into the crowd, following Hidan and Kakuzu towards the snack table “Keep lookout, will you?” Hidan said, glancing over his shoulder as he pulled a bottle of vodka out of his pants. “Tsunade never does a pat-down,” he explained, seeing Konan’s stare. He poured the vodka into the punch as Konan and Kakuzu looked around, trying to act nonchalant while checking for teachers.“Here,” Hidan said, passing Konan a very full cup of spiked punch. “Thanks,” she said, drinking it in one.“ Daaaaamn, Konan’s going hard tonight!!” Hidan cheered, holding a fist to his mouth as she did a spin for him.“I’m gonna go dance!” she yelled in his ear over the music, and squeezed her way through the crowd, looking for Deidara and Sasori, who she had seen on the floor earlier, and pointedly not looking around for Pain, who had probably been pulled into a dark corner by Mei by now.Konan found her friends as the song changed to ‘Fell in Love with a Girl’ by the White Stripes remixed with ‘Na Na Na’ by MCR. They were jumping up and down, yelling the lyrics with everyone else as the lights flashed overhead. They waved and yelled at her when she joined them, but she couldn’t hear what they said and just nodded, grinning, and danced with them.The room was heating up. Konan felt sweat on her back as she jumped around, and it felt like the air was getting thicker. The smell from the fog machine was making her light-headed, and she was definitely pretty drunk. She beamed at Sasori and Deidara, as the song changed to a metal mix of ‘ET’ by Katy Perry. She leaned forward and hugged them both, shouting, “I love you guys!” into their necks. Sasori laughed and Deidara pulled her back in for another hug and kissed her forehead. “So you’re a friendly drunk, huh?” Sasori shouted over the music. “Where's Pain? He’s missing out.”Konan frowned and leaned over to Sasori, cupping her hands over his ear and saying, “I don’t wanna talk to him. He’s with Mei, he doesn’t like me.”Sasori gave her a weirded-out look. He beckoned Konan back over and yelled, “Yes, he does! He’s obsessed with you!”“Yeah right!” Konan rolled her eyes, giving him a little shove.“Mei who!?” Deidara yelled.Konan rolled her eyes and looked around. The room was dark and there were too many bodies and faces spinning around her to find who she was looking for. “I dunno… she’s dressed as Jessica Rabbit,” she yelled back, shrugging. “Whatever. Just dance with me!”Konan turned back to the DJ, head banging as he built up to a drop. He spliced in ‘Dum De Dum’ by Keys n Krates, and Konan screamed with the crowd, tossing her hair and raising her hands in the air. A boy held another cup of the punch out to her and she took it, smiling, drinking the whole thing. She didn’t want to think , just be. The crowd of bodies around her lurched and swayed like one huge entity, writhing to the music. She lost track of time, smiling, hands in the air, jumping and swaying and head banging.She stumbled over and fell backwards into someone’s arms. She looked up and saw Pain. “Hey!” he yelled over the music, smiling down at her. “I’ve been trying to find you.”Konan regained her balance and kept dancing, turning to face him. “Hey,” she yelled back. “I’ve just been with these guys,” she jerked her thumb behind her. Pain laughed. “Who?”Konan turned around to look for Sasori and Deidara, but they weren’t there. She was surrounded by bodies jumping and swaying and twisting, but she didn’t recognize anyone except Pain.“Where’d they go?” she said a little stupidly.Pain leaned down to her. “If you mean Deidara and Sasori, they’re probably in a bathroom or something. It’s their anniversary tonight.”“Aww! That’s cute!” Konan yelled back, a little too loud for how close Pain was. He shook his head. “Not that kind of anniversary.” “Oh!” Konan laughed awkwardly. “Still nice!”“I wanted to talk with you,” Pain said, leaning down so she could hear, his voice warm and low in her ear.Over the smell of vodka, fruit punch, and the cloud of different body sprays, perfumes, deodorants, and sweat around them, she could smell him. He had taken off the black coat from his costume, and was just wearing the white shirt, rolled up to the elbows. They were pushed closer together by the bodies around them, and Konan’s arm brushed his stomach as they danced. The DJ mixed into ‘Untouched’ by the Veronicas and the purple lights in the room flared, so suddenly everything was the same colour as Pain’s eyes. See you, breathe you, I want to be you. Konan couldn’t focus on anything, could barely hear anything Pain was saying. Her hands lifted up and she held the hem of his shirt to steady herself as she danced. Her eyes closed and opened and Pain was bending lower. She watched his mouth come closer. 
Don’t even think about the consequence cuz right now you’re the only thing that's making any sense to me.
He’d taken out the contacts he’d been wearing. She was gazing into his violet eyes, and it felt like she was falling. She was losing balance, lost in him, the smell of him, his warm body so close to hers. The whole room was spinning. Her feet slipped on a spilled drink.“Hey, are you okay?” Pain asked, grabbing her under the arms and holding her up until she found her feet again. “Uh-huh,” she said, still swaying.“Have you had any water?” he asked her, looking into her eyes, frowning slightly. She shook her head.“Okay, let’s get you some.” Pain looked around and made a drinking gesture with his hand. Konan looked where he was facing, and saw Kisame giving him the thumbs up from about ten rows of people away. Her eyes slid across faces, bodies, people swirling in a many-coloured haze until her eyes fell on long wavy chestnut hair, purple eyeshadow, a red sparkly dress.Mei was dancing, swaying her hips as she moved through the crowd towards them, the lights reflecting off her dress. She glittered like a mermaid, twirling through the push and pull of ocean currents. She reached out to Pain with a violet-gloved hand, its silk glowing in the light. The space before she touched him felt like a dream, and Konan knew she was staring. It was magical, Pain’s hands moving from her shoulders, and she could feel him hesitating as they moved gently down to her waist. He was beautiful under the lights. She felt his eyes on her, and felt vaguely, like a beautiful echo in the back of her drunken mind, that they were in a separate universe, where something new could start.Mei’s hand tapped Pain on the shoulder. He didn’t look. She tapped again and tugged the back of his shirt. “Hey stranger,” she said in her low, musical voice. Pain’s hands loosened from Konan’s waist as he turned to her. Konan stepped backward. Pain’s fingers slipped off her. Immediately she felt cold. The roiling mass of bodies behind her swallowed her as she stumbled into them and turned away. She caught sight of Kisame’s face as he pushed towards them, water glass held above his head, and then he was also swallowed by the bodies. She heard voices say her name. She saw blonde hair, animal ears, corsets. Ino and Sakura greeted her, said dance with us . She slipped through them, away, away. After feeling so warm and alive, caught in the beam of Pain’s gaze, she just wanted to be alone in darkness now that he had turned away, gone forever into Mei’s arms. Konan slipped again and fell into someone else, as voices called her name behind her. She heard laughter and apologized vaguely until they pushed her upright again. She pushed on the exit doors and stumbled outside as Mama by MCR started up behind her, to a huge scream from the crowd inside, which frightened her now that she had slipped free of it. The hallway was dark, only lit by the emergency lights, probably to avoid blinding everyone when they emerged. Tsunade was gone from her little table. There were dropped tickets, spilled glitter, bottle caps, a ripped condom wrapper, used makeup wipes scattered over the floor. Konan’s head swam and she reached a hand out to steady herself against the lockers as she hurried down the hallway.  I don’t want Pain to follow me, I don’t want him to find me. …If he even notices I’m gone… In her head all she could see was Mei’s purple silk gloved hands stroking his face, sliding down his neck, wrapping around him, and him leaning in to kiss her jewel-red lips.  He can do what he wants ! He’s free to do whatever he likes!  She pressed a hand to her face as she staggered forwards, wishing she could stop the imaginary movie in her head, Mei gripping Pain’s hair, Pain dipping her backwards and kissing her neck.Konan heard footsteps behind her and she hurried up, turning a corner.  I don’t want to talk to anybody, I don’t want to think about anything… The dim emergency lights turned her dress orange in the dark. Her stomach felt untethered and she bent over, holding her breath, hoping she wasn’t going to throw up. Up ahead, she saw the sign for the girl’s bathroom. Her head was pounding. The wall of sound from the dance hall had dimmed all the noises outside, and everything seemed oddly muffled as she slipped on the floor towards the bathroom door, staggering, and pushed it open.She braced herself on the cool porcelain of the sink and retched, but nothing came up. She turned on the tap and cupped water in her hands, drinking gratefully. She splashed water on her face, not caring if she was messing up her makeup. She pressed her cold hand to the back of her neck, sighing as the nausea receded, even as the room continued to spin gently around her. She tried to focus on her reflection in the mirror. Huge eyes, blurry eyeliner, smeared fake blood around her mouth. Her pupils looked overlarge. She caught another handful of water in her hands, let it fall in the sink, watching hazily as it swirled down the drain.All of a sudden, her body felt heavy. She blinked hard, trying to refocus. Her hands slipped on the side of the sink. Before she really realized it, she was sinking sideways and dropping like a skein of ribbon onto her knees, slumping back against the wall. The floor tiles were cool against her legs. This is gross, she thought as her head tipped back against the bathroom wall. It started to take more and more effort to open her eyes again after a blink. Her breathing was slowing, relaxing. Her whole body felt like it was melting. She closed her eyes, her head tipping sideways against the pipes under the sink. It felt like falling asleep.There was nothing but silence and a yawning, soft-edged darkness for a while. Or maybe just a minute. Then the bathroom door opened and shut. Konan lowered her chin to her chest, vaguely trying to hide her face from the girls coming in. The footsteps stopped in front of her.“Found you,” said a soft voice.Konan tried to raise her head, but as if her neck was too weak to hold it up, it tilted over sideways onto her shoulder. She’d got one look at them before her eyelids closed again, so heavy.  It was the black-haired boy and his friend. Their voices floated up through Konan’s foggy memory.
“She’s got three holes and hair to pull. Good enough for me…”

“Send her room to room. Pussy delivery service…”
“What are you doing here?” she asked, her mouth moving so slowly she barely got it out, the words slurring together. “She’s still awake, Zaku,” The black-haired boy’s friend whispered. He had wide, nervous eyes. They were both sweaty, shining under the fluorescents.“She’ll be out soon.”Konan forced herself to keep her eyes open. Her heartbeat seemed to be slower than it should be. She knew without even trying she probably couldn’t stand up. 
Did something happen to me?
“Get away from me,” Konan breathed. Zaku walked towards her, undoing his belt. “Stand by the door. I’ll go first,” he said to his friend, ignoring her. “Your boyfriend’s not here to protect you, huh? The ugly fucking cuck.” Konan shifted backwards against the wall. Part of her mind, the most awake part, was going a mile a minute, just screaming at her body to get up, to run, make noise, hit him, kill him. The rest was wading through molasses just trying to process what was happening, what was in front of her, what was about to happen to her. The other boy walked over to the door. Konan stared into Zaku’s empty black eyes. He had acne around his mouth, a cracked front tooth, and faint yellow bruising still visible around one eye. His pupils were blown, like he was on something. “Get ready to choke, bitch,” he sneered, one hand reaching for her head, the other for his fly. “Get the lights.”Everything went dark. Konan opened her mouth and screamed as hard as she could, with all the energy she could muster. She raised her arms, startled by how weak she felt, trying to push him away, and kicked out her legs. A hand grabbed at her head, ripping the long black wig off, then seized her own hair so tight her scalp burned and she gasped in pain. He slammed her head into the tiled wall. Once, and there was a bright, burning pain in the side of her head. Twice, a ringing started in her ears and the pain dulled to a spreading, throbbing ache. Three times and she couldn’t feel her face. Lights popped in her vision and she slipped all the way down to the ground. She heard voices screaming. The hand grabbed her hair again and forced her head up. Zaku crawled over her, rucking her dress up to her ribs, leaving her cold and exposed on the tiles. She felt his hot, stale breath on her face. He shoved his hand into her crotch, groping at her, trying to yank her panties sideways. She jerked her knee up as hard as she could. Slow and clumsy as it was, she still managed to get him in the stomach. He grunted, then raised her head by the hair and brought it back down on the tile again, hard. She cried out in pain.“Calm down already, I won’t have to hurt you if you just fucking stay still, ” the boy hissed.He pinned her arms to the floor with his knees, the weight of him making her gasp in pain. She spat in his face. He slapped her across the face, sharp as a whip crack. She was kicking and twisting but her whole body felt heavy. “See? That’s what you get, bitch.”His hand clawed at her jaw until he forced her mouth open with his fingers, pulling her mouth open. She tasted his sweaty, disgusting fingers on her tongue and tried to bite down, but his other hand was pressing her forehead back. She was crying as she tried to twist and turn her head, but she couldn’t. “That fucking pussy boyfriend of yours isn’t gonna want you anymore. Choke on it, bitch. Show him you like it.”His weight shifted forwards, his knees digging agonizingly into her arms. She heard him laughing, could smell his sweat. He pulled his underwear down and spat in her open mouth. She gagged, retching as she tried to spit everything out, as his hands forced her jaw to stay open.Heavy footsteps vibrated across the floor, through her body. She heard someone yelling. The lights came on, blinding her. She kept her eyes shut, still struggling against the knees pinning her arms, the hands forcing her mouth open. She was suddenly shoved backwards across the floor, like a wave had crashed over her. Zaku rolled forwards over her face, his body yanking her hair back. She cried out, and then he was gone, ripped away from her with a hoarse yell. She coughed and rolled over, retching and crying, trying to press herself against the wall, eyes still shut tight against the bright light. There was a huge crash, yells, heavy, choked breaths and a rhythmic, dull thumping and crunching. Someone was crouching over her. She felt a soft, cool hand stroke her forehead before taking hold of the hem of her dress and pulling it back down to cover her. “Konan, can you hear me?” The cool hand pushed her sweaty hair away, checked her pulse. The sound of a tap turning, water flowing. a damp cloth wiped over her face. Konan opened her eyes slowly. As soon as the fluorescent lights hit them, she squinted them closed again, her breathing catching and picking up as she started to hyperventilate.“Can you get up? I can help you,” Sakura said, crouching down and pulling Konan’s arm around her shoulders. She tried to stand and lift her, but Konan couldn’t get her legs under herself to stand.“I can’t,” she panted. The bangs and crunches were slowing down. Ragged breathing and other voices floated up from the other end of the bathroom. She noticed her whole body was trembling.“She can’t stand,” Sakura said to someone else.“I can carry her.”Konan, who had been content just to focus on trying to breathe, on wishing she were nowhere at all, didn’t exist, had no body to feel it hurting, felt her throat tighten immediately when she recognized Pain’s voice. Tears started streaming again from her closed eyes.“You good?” Kisame’s voice.“Yeah. You’ll take care of them?”“I’ll talk to Shizune and Tsunade. Nobody will bother Konan.” Ino’s voice.“You sure?”“Yeah.”“She should see somebody.”“About her head, yeah. About the other stuff… you can leave that to me.”Konan felt someone crouch down in front of her. “Hey. It’s me.” Pain’s voice.  “Let’s get you out of here.”“Okay,” she breathed.His arms looped around her gently. He got to his feet, lifting her, and straightened, holding her against his chest. As he carried her out of the bathroom, she opened her eyes to look for Zaku. He was sprawled on the floor, partially lying in a stall whose door had been smashed off its hinges. There was blood smeared across the wall, across the toilet seat, the floor. His face was a mess. His friend was also unconscious, slumped in a corner by the door, guarded by Kisame. Konan shut her eyes again and turned her head, pressing her face into Pain’s shirt, unable to stop her silent crying. She could hear him shushing her soothingly. He was shaking, too. His heartbeat was fast, pounding in her ears, but it started to slow as he carried her all the way to the nurse’s room.“Ino said she’d talk to them first, so they don’t have to tell your parents, if you don’t want them to,” Pain said quietly.“I don’t want them to,” Konan replied automatically, her voice muffled.Pain set her down gently outside Shizune’s office when they reached it. Her balance was still iffy, so after a few seconds of checking in silently, he held her loosely against him. Konan didn’t say anything, just leant back against his chest. Behind her closed eyelids, colours shifted and swirled. Her head still felt fuzzy, and throbbed dully where it had been smacked against the tiles “You’re shaking,” she murmured, eyes closed, feeling Pain’s arms trembling around her.He took a shaky breath, gave a humourless half-laugh. “I’m not surprised.”Konan gazed at his hands. They were beaten to shit and bloody. One of his nails was torn. “Don’t let Shizune see your hands.”“I won’t.”They stood in silence together. After a few minutes, Ino came out, her face set and determined. She leaned over to Konan and whispered, so Pain couldn’t hear, “Did they touch you at all?”Konan shook her head.“Okay. Just tell Shizune about your head. That you came with the others to stop them, that it was me. That you fell.”Konan didn’t have enough in the tank to argue or ask questions. She managed a weak, “Why you?”Ino squeezed her arm, but didn’t reply. She walked past them. Pain slipped his hands into his pockets and followed Konan into the office.Shizune was wearing a white lab coat over a silk black dressing gown. Konan sat down on the raised bed. Shizune asked Pain to leave, but Konan said she wanted him to stay.  He sat down on a chair, gave her a tiny encouraging smile, despite the obvious tension in his jaw. Konan let her mind wander as Pain answered a few basic questions, until Shizune shone a flashlight in her eyes, making her groan and close them. She tested her reflexes, then looked at Konan’s face, her gaze assessing. “Did you leave your drink unattended, or did anyone offer you a drink or another substance?” she asked.“I had the punch. And then…” Konan tried to remember through the haze of noise and the throbbing of her head. “Someone gave me some more..”“Do you know who? Did you know them?”Konan shook her head. “No, I was dancing…”Shizune bent and typed something on her laptop. Konan saw Pain’s eyes flick to it, then back to her.“It’s not unlikely that you may have been drugged. Now, the only way to confirm that is with either a blood or urine sample. However, on your intake forms, your father explicitly denied consent for any tests of this nature to be conducted internally with less than a week's prior notice.” Shizune’s voice was neutral, but her eyebrows raised slightly. “I strongly recommend you go to a clinic which meets his standards as soon as possible, meaning tonight or tomorrow morning, to complete these tests.”Konan nodded, wondering vaguely why her dad had bothered denying her internal healthcare. She figured this meant he had indeed been directly involved in her enrollment, or perhaps that he hadn’t paid attention to anything except this part.“And you’ve got a head injury?” Shizune asked, snapping on a pair of latex gloves.“Yeah.”Shizune raised the flashlight and took a look, gently prodding at her temple and the back of her head. Konan winced as her fingers parted her hair close to the place her head had been smacked into the wall.Pain shifted sideways towards Shizune’s desk, apparently trying to give Konan some privacy as her head got poked at.“Good news…” Shizune said after a few minutes of gentle prodding, “The wounds seem to be superficial. There’s significant bruising, some breakage of skin and incidental bleeding, but there’s no evidence of fracture or other damage to the skull. You’ll have to be monitored for worsening symptoms, but I think we can be reasonably confident on that front. The main concern is going to be concussion, which is unfortunately difficult to assess at this time, as you’re still recovering from the effects of the drug, and likely alcohol.” Shizune glanced at Pain, who had shifted back to his previous seat by the door. “Since you can monitor Konan’s symptoms, please consult this list—” She handed him a sheet with bullet points. “— and if she is exhibiting more than three of these symptoms by 11am tomorrow morning, bring her back here.”“If she has a concussion, will it be okay for her to go to sleep?” Pain asked.Shizune gave Konan an assessing look. “As long as she can hold a conversation, she’s good to sleep.”She pulled the latex gloves off and dropped them in the garbage. Konan gazed down at the blood on them. For the first time, she realized what the sticky feeling at the back of her head must be. Her thoughts started to catch up to where her body was, what was happening. “Do you, um…” She bit her lips, trying to force her brain to think properly, to get this right. “What is your… confidentiality policy?”Shizune leaned against her desk and folded her arms. “Nothing I discuss with you can be shared with any other members of staff or students.” She jerked her head at Pain. “Present company excluded, obviously, as you requested he stay.” “What about my parents?”“I will have to file a serious incident report, which will be sent to your parents, yes.”“It’s not a serious incident,” Konan said.Shizune scoffed. Konan took a deep breath, trying to focus. “There might have been something in the drink I had, maybe. But without test results you can’t prove that. I went into the bathroom to find Ino. I slipped on spilled water. I hit my head. It’s not bad enough to go to the hospital or anything, you said. There’s nothing to suggest anything else happened.”Shizune was gazing hard at Konan. “Am I supposed to believe that?”Konan shrugged.Shizune gestured at Pain. “You. Out.”Shizune kept her eyes on Konan as Pain stood up and loped out of the office, shutting the door behind him.“Konan, you and I both know that’s not what happened.” Shizune said soothingly. “You don’t have to feel ashamed at all. None of this is your fault. Now, I understand it can be uncomfortable or scary to tell your parents—”“You should go and see the two boys who are injured,” Konan interrupted her in a flat voice.Shizune frowned. “Have any other staff been informed? Where are they?”Konan shrugged. Her head was aching and she was starting to feel nauseous again. “Dunno. They’re in the girl’s bathroom near the dance hall.”“Konan. I will need to report this.”“You’re going to report a lie.”“Konan…”“Those boys should be expelled and arrested for assault.”“They assaulted you?”“No. Haven’t you just spoken to Ino?”Shizune’s eyes flickered. Konan knew she guessed right. “I’m not seriously injured, I was not involved in any kind of altercation, outside of being a witness. I slipped and fell. May I go?” Konan asked, getting to her feet, balancing herself on the desk.“Konan, I still need to—”Konan walked to the door. “Just to clarify,” she said, turning back, using all her willpower to stay still, totally steady, “You’re wasting your time on me when there are two students lying unconscious on the bathroom floor. One of them got his face smashed in. He’s covered in blood. You should call an ambulance for them.”Shizune’s eyes widened and she reached for the phone. “What the hell happened to them?”“They slipped and fell, too,” Konan said simply.She left the room to the sounds of Shizune frantically requesting a staff member report to the washroom immediately, then dialing the emergency services.Pain was waiting outside, leaning against the wall. As soon as he saw her, he reached his arm out, waiting a second for her nod to put it around her. “You okay?”“Uh huh.”He smiled at her, obviously knowing she wasn’t. “Yeah. Me too.” He squeezed her shoulders, then gave her a skeptical look. “Can you walk okay yet? We have to go up the stairs. I just checked, and the elevator’s busted.”“Uh…” Konan showed off a slow, swaying walk for about ten feet and then bounced a shoulder off the wall.“Yeah, maybe not,” Pain said with a little grin. “Would you be okay if I carried you again?”Konan nodded. He bent down and she climbed on his back, looping her arms around his neck. They headed up toward the boy’s dorm hall, taking the long way to avoid as many people as possible.“Do you think Shizune will tell my dad?” Konan asked. Her voice was still faint, her words tumbling loosely-formed from her mouth. “He’d make me leave tomorrow, if he actually reads whatever report she sends.”“Maybe. But… “ He cleared his throat. “Okay, I kind of did something, and I can totally switch it back super easily, no harm done. But I thought it might be helpful, but I didn’t have time to ask you…”Konan frowned. He sounded nervous.
Pain is never nervous. 
“What’s wrong?” she asked softly. He sighed, pausing a minute. “I’m gonna put you down for a sec, I feel weird talking about this when I can’t see you.”“Okay.” She slid down his back until her feet hit the ground, holding his coat to balance her. He turned to face her, holding her arms gently to support her, and there was an anxious crease between his eyebrows.“Okay. I figured you wouldn’t want your dad to know about this, unless they actually...” He couldn’t get the words out. Konan just interrupted him.“Yeah.”“And there’s no way to stop Shizune telling him, since he’s still your legal guardian and you have been…” He bit his lips and paused, then continued in a tighter voice, “...injured pretty badly.”“But..”“So, I changed his contact information on her copy of your records.”“Oh. On her laptop?”Pain nodded. “She’ll figure it out if she cross-references them, but there’s no reason for her to do that.”“What number will she call?”Pain half-smiled. “Mine. She won’t recognize it.”“Wow, you’re so sneaky.” Konan smiled at him, genuinely, if still a little weakly.Pain gave a short bark of laughter. “Sneaky, huh?” he said as he turned so she could hop on his back again. “Seriously, please tell me if you want me to switch it back.”Konan shook her head, with an exhausted sigh, pressing her cheek into his back. “Nope. He’d have taken me away.”“You still want to stay here?”They reached the top of the stairs and were headed for the boy’s hall entry.Konan closed her eyes. “I don’t want to go back. You guys are my home.”Pain squeezed her legs as he carried her.“I’m glad.”—Konan took a long, hot shower. She avoided getting her head wet, as her injuries still stung and ached. She washed her make-up off. Her face was red and stinging on one side, and faint purple bruises were already showing up in her arms and legs. She brushed her teeth, applied moisturizer, and slipped into her comfiest hoodie and sweatpants.Pain was still sitting on the bed where she'd left him. He was hunched over, gazing into space, rubbing his knuckles. He had washed all the blood off his hands in the bathroom, but there were cuts and raw patches across the knuckles of his right hand still.He looked up and smiled when he noticed her. “All good?”Konan nodded.“I got you gatorade, water, and some snacks from Kisame’s stash.” He pointed them out on her table.“Thanks.” She sat down next to him. “You want to hang out?”He looked at her curiously for a second, then smiled. “Sure thing. What do you want to do?”She was so grateful he hadn't needed her to say it – Please stay with me. Please don’t leave me alone. I don’t want to be by myself. They ended up lying on the bed, watching Friends until Konan got a headache. She sat up to get an Advil, and suddenly the room and her stomach were both spinning and she staggered for the bathroom. Pain followed her and held her hair up as she threw up the vodka punch, and rubbed her back when she started crying from embarrassment, saying she was silly and he wasn’t going anywhere. She brushed her teeth again, drank more water, and they lay back on the bed, with the lights off, both above the covers. As Konan sobered up, details from the night started surfacing, disjointed and sharp, like the scrape of a nail against her brain, like flashes of neon lightning. Mei’s violet silk gloves. Deidara kissing her forehead. A voice and a plastic cup of punch. The Veronicas. Pain’s eyes, his face as he leaned down to talk as they danced. Footsteps behind her. The cold porcelain of the sink. Her knees on the tile. A fist clenching in her hair, tearing at the roots. Hot breath on her face. Salty fingers shoved into her mouth, prising her jaw open.She was crying. Trying to be quiet, breathing deep but uneven as tears flowed down her cheeks.“Hey,” Pain whispered. When she didn’t answer, he shifted next to her and held out an arm. “Would it be okay if I give you a hug?” he whispered hesitantly.“Yeah,” Konan choked out. She wouldn’t have said yes to almost anyone else tonight. But she felt scared, and lonely, and angry, and confused. She shifted right into Pains chest as he opened his arms and pulled her close, wrapping his arms tight around her He rubbed her back slowly. She cried into his chest. He pressed her closer and tucked her head under his chin.She heard him murmur, “It’s okay. You’ll be okay,” into her hair, really quietly. “I promise.”She knew, from the sound of his breathing, that he was crying, too She fell asleep pressed against him.—A few hours later, she woke up, still wrapped loosely in Pain’s arms. He was asleep, his face relaxed and somehow even younger. She closed her eyes. She was buried so deep in his scent; it was soothing. Laundry detergent. Wood smoke. Her mouth felt horribly dry. After a minute of forcing her sluggish brain to make a decision to get up, she slithered down the bed out of Pain’s loose grip and got to her feet. She grabbed the Gatorade and drank a third of it.“Konan?” came Pain’s sleepy voice from the bed. As if reaching through to her from a whole different world, a parallel space, she felt a tiny flicker of embarrassment and happiness, through the haze and the weight of everything that had happened that night. 
He’s staying the night in bed with me…
“Hey,” she answered him. “I was just thirsty.” “Good. Drink some water.”“Okay. You want Gatorade?”“Yeah, thanks.”She brought it over to him and switched to water, drinking as much as she could before putting it on her bedside table and crawling back into bed next to Pain, getting under the covers.“Thank you for staying with me tonight,” she said after a few minutes.She heard him shift in the dark to look at her. “Of course, whatever you need. … I’m happy to.”She shifted closer again and nudged at his arm. He raised it obligingly so she could settle back where she had been, close to him.“Are you okay?” she asked after a minute.Pain seemed stunned by the question. “ You’re the one I’m worried about, Konan. I’m fine, don’t even– don’t even think about worrying about me. I’m fine.”“You were crying.”“Uh-huh,” he said after a pause.“How come?”He exhaled with a tiny incredulous laugh, blowing a few strands of hair from her forehead. “What do you mean, how come?”“Are you sad?”“Yeah, I’m really sad.”Konan hummed in agreement. “Me too.”“Do you want to talk about it?”“Not really.”“Me neither.”Konan scooted up the bed to face him. His eyes had been closed, but he opened them to look at her when he felt her move. Again, a tiny part of her, as though from a different world from hours ago, before the dance, realized how intimate this felt. To her amazement, she felt her cheeks heating, in spite of everything, watching his long eyelashes flickering, taking in the depth of his violet-eyed gaze.“If I do talk about it, will it make you sad?” she asked. “Or angry?”Pain shrugged.“Probably both. But you can still tell me. If you want to. If you think it would be helpful to you, then you can tell me whenever you want to.”“I feel like maybe I want to…” Konan considered, fingering one of the drawstrings of Pain’s hoodie absently. “Or rather, I don’t really want to, but I don’t want to be the only person who knows what happened, because I’ll have no one at all to talk to. And I’ll go crazy . So, can I tell you what happened?”Pain closed his eyes and exhaled heavily, like he was mentally preparing himself. “I’ll listen, then. You can tell me if you want.”Konan nodded slowly. She scooted closer to him, tucking herself into his arms again.“I left the dance,” she said. She was doing her best to just talk, not visualize anything. She breathed in Pain’s scent, enveloping her, all around her. It calmed her down. “I wasn’t feeling well, and I went to the bathroom. I drank some water. I felt really dizzy and sleepy suddenly, and I fell…” She described what she remembered. The boys coming into the bathroom after her, what they’d said, the lights going off. Zaku grabbing her by the hair, smashing her head into the wall. Pulling up her dress. Trying to pull her panties away. She heard Pain’s heartbeat hammering faster through his hoodie as she kept talking. Her voice started to shake when she reached the part where Zaku had spat in her mouth.“He put his fingers in my mouth. He forced my jaw down and pressed my head back on the floor. I knew what he…” She shook her head, trying to get the image out of it, the recollection of his weight on her arms, pinning her down. Pain’s arm was rigid around her, and he was shaking again. “And then you guys came in,” she sighed, tears blooming at the corners of her eyes. “I heard your voice.”They lay quietly together for several long minutes. Konan listened to Pain’s heartbeat slow down again, felt his muscles unclench around her. She breathed slowly with him. It had been good to tell him what happened; the jagged tension in her stomach had loosened. “Thanks for letting me tell you,” she mumbled into Pain’s hoodie.“No problem,” he said softly.“Yeah right,” she snorted in spite of herself, and Pain actually laughed, too.“But are you okay? Do you want to tell me anything? Or… ask me anything…?” She offered that last one even though she didn’t particularly want to know what questions he might have. It was only fair, though.Pain hummed, but shook his head.“Okay,” Konan said. “For the record, though… What I told you before, when you were getting detention… That’s still true. That’s always true, okay?”Pain took a deep breath and held her tighter for a second. “Thanks, Konan.”She shook her head. “Thank you ,” she said, sincerely. She nudged his forehead with hers so he looked at her. He held his breath, gazing at her.“Seriously. Thank you for staying with me. Thank you for holding me like this. Thank you for helping me, and being so kind,” she said, throat tightening. “Thank you for looking for me, and saving me, and thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for everything tonight.” She blinked quickly, trying not to start crying for about the millionth time. She took a deep breath. “You’re my best friend.”Pain’s mouth twisted and he pulled her right into him, wrapping her in his arms and tucking her under his chin.—A long time later, when Konan had dozed off and woken up again a few times, she decided to ask Pain the question she’d almost forgotten about.“Hey. Are you awake?”“Mhmm.”“Can I ask you something?”“Mhmm.”She scooted back a bit to be able to see him properly. “Are you into Mei?”“Hmm?”“Do you like Mei?”Pain finally opened his eyes, and frowned at her, looking confused.“She has a crush on you,” Konan explained. “I mean, she didn’t say anything, but it’s kind of… obvious… so I was just wondering… Do you think you’ll go out with her?”Pain was looking even more confused, a line appearing between his eyebrows. “Uh… nope?”Konan frowned. “Why not?”Pain laughed a little and propped himself up on his elbows. “Uh, why would I?”“She’s so hot, though!”Pain raised an eyebrow at her, grinning “Sounds like you should ask her out.” “Hey…” Konan said, pushing her lips out and blushing. “I mean, but Itachi said you were going to start dating her!”Pain looked bewildered, which just confused Konan even more.“What?”“I don’t know, that’s what he said!”“Seriously?”“Um…” Konan tried to think back to that morning. It felt like a week ago, at least. “I was asking him about you guys…” Pain raised his eyebrows, grinning. “You were, huh?”Konan felt herself blushing more and tried not to look at him. “Yeah, because I don’t know her, and you guys seemed really friendly and stuff… And Itachi said that you guys have a lot of chemistry or something.”Pain started to laugh.“Well, I don’t think it’s crazy to assume that you liked each other,” Konan said defensively, crossing her sore arms. “I thought he was picking up on some vibes or something, and she spent the whole day flirting with you…” Konan trailed off, trying not to laugh, too, as Pain completely cracked up next to her.“Konan, we have chemistry class together.”Konan’s jaw dropped. She stared at him, and he laughed harder at her confused face.“They teach chemistry here!? It’s an art school!“They teach lots of stuff here. A lot of kids are in science classes. Jiraiya teaches chem. It’s mostly experimentation with using solutions and materials for artworks or installations. Oil, acids, creating clouds and stuff. Mei does a lot of work with creating gasses for her installation rooms. Vapours, artificial mist, that kind of thing. That’s what she was showing me in Itachi’s collab display room.” “Oh,”  Konan said, torn between feeling stupid, annoyed, and embarrassed.“Okay, fine. But still, I’m not wrong! She totally has a huge crush on you!”Pain paused for a moment, eyebrows raised, then rolled over onto his stomach, propping his head on his hand, elbow on the mattress, grinning at her mischievously. Konan was suddenly wary.“Why do you care if Mei has a crush on me?” he asked.
Damnit.
Konan avoided his gaze, burrowing down in her hoodie. “Did I say I did? I was just interested, as a common courtesy to my friend… ” “Best friend,” Pain corrected her, still smiling.“Yeah, well even more so, then. It’s good to be up to date…” She felt her cheeks burning and cleared her throat, hoping to regain some kind of dignity, “...and like, on top of who my best friend is interested in, romantic-styles… For general knowledge reasons.”“Uh huh…”“Well, that’s that, then. Thanks for the talk.”“Is that why you were kind of avoiding me today?” Pain asked. She could still hear a smile in his voice. “No…” She was definitely blushing now. 
He noticed!?
“Uh huh. Sure.”Konan wiggled further down in her hoodie until she was fully out of sight. She heard Pain laughing above her. “Hey. Come back.”“No thanks.”Pain’s hands slid towards her under the blanket and shimmied her back up the mattress. He lifted her hood back off her face. She huffed at him, embarrassed, knowing perfectly well she was fully blushing. He was smiling at her, and there was something in his gaze that gave her butterflies; she couldn’t help but smile back.“What?” she asked.“I do like someone.”“That’s nice,” she said, trying so hard to keep her voice light.“It is, thanks. They make me very happy.”“That’s good.” “Uh huh.”“Have you told them you like them?”“Not yet.” Pain was gazing steadily into her eyes.Konan could barely breathe. They were both half-asleep, defences lowered. She shifted nearer to him on the mattress. He shifted a hand closer to her and started playing with a lock of her hair.“What are you waiting for?” she asked softly. She was living in a dream world where there was no question he was talking about her, and she had no wish to stop pretending.Pain gave her a little smile. His eyes travelled across her face. “The right moment,” he murmured.Konan gazed at him breathlessly. And then, the weight of the night sank back down onto her. Even in this dream world where she was the girl he liked… This was not the moment. The aches on her skull, the sore side of her face, and the blooming bruises she could feel even through her hoodie, were more than enough proof of that.She shrugged and smiled. “I hope you find a good moment soon.”“Me too,” Pain whispered.Konan nodded and wiggled closer to him. She folded herself back into his arms, rubbing her face into his hoodie, making him laugh. He stroked her back gently as they both started to settle into each other again. She closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Late the next morning, Sasori came in to poke her awake, Deidara following behind him with a tray of food. Konan moaned in gratitude at the smell of bacon and eggs, and then moaned in pain when she sat up. “Are you okay?” Deidara asked, sitting on the end of the bed, and looking so worried Konan forced a smile to reassure him.“Mostly,” she said, scooting into a sitting position with a wince. “My arms just really hurt, and my head really hurts…”“How come?”“Um…”Sasori set the tray down on her lap and snorted at Pain, still asleep, curled over on his side. “Look at Sleeping Beauty over here.” He gave him a sharp poke in the ribs.Deidara rolled his eyes. “Like that’s gonna work.”Apparently, Pain was an extremely heavy sleeper, so it took quite a bit of nudging and increasingly irritated greetings from Sasori, plus Deidara pulling the blankets off of him, to get him to finally open his eyes.“Morning sunshine,” Sasori said sweetly in response to Pain’s grouchy squint. “We brought Konan breakfast, and imagine our surprise… you were also in here.”Pain sat up slowly, rubbing his face. Konan offered him a piece of toast. “When did you guys get in last night?” Pain asked Sasori, taking the toast absent-mindedly. Konan, meanwhile, was three big spoonfuls into scrambled eggs, hardly listening, mostly concerned about her gnawing hunger, headache, and the dull throb in her head and arms. Sasori glanced at Deidara, who blushed and gazed pointedly at the ceiling, shrugging. “Uh… call it 3am?” Pain took a big bite of the toast. “Uh huh. Did you talk to anybody?” “Anybody like who? About what?”Konan glanced up; neither Sasori nor Deidara were looking at her. 
They don’t know anything happened.
Pain caught her eye, giving her a little inquiring lift of his eyebrows as he chewed. Do you want them to know? Who should tell them? Sasori was giving them both an extremely weirded-out look. “I leave you alone for a few hours and suddenly you have your own silent language, and lest we forget, you’re in her bed, ” he said teasingly. “You dog…”Konan finished the piece of bacon she’d been chewing and shifted the tray onto Pain’s lap. “I’m gonna take a shower,” she announced, giving Pain a little nod as she got out of bed. You can tell them what you think they should know. He nodded back to show he understood. She padded over to the bathroom, stopping on the way to grab clean underwear, a new hoodie, and a clean pair of pyjama bottoms, having no intention to leave the dorm today.She locked the door behind her and pulled off her clothes, ignoring the low hum of Pain’s voice on the other side of the wall. She gasped. “Oh my god… ”“You okay?” came Pain’s voice immediately. She had been louder than she thought.“Uh… Yeah, I’m fine,” she called back. “Just… bruises.”She stared at herself. Her hair was messy — whatever. There were flakes of dried blood on her forehead — fine. But what had startled her were the blue and violet bruises that had blossomed across her skin overnight. There were huge bruises on her biceps, where Zaku had knelt on her. Her forearms and legs were also dotted with purple splotches. She took off her underwear, and noticed something she’d missed the night before — fingernail scratches in her inner thighs. 
That motherfucker… 
She bit her lips angrily and turned on the shower. By the time she had brushed her teeth, pinned back her hair as well as she could without touching the sore patches on her head, washed her face, applied moisturiser and deodorant, and gotten changed, it was obvious that Pain had told Sasori and Deidara what had happened last night.She came out to slightly less breakfast remaining on the tray, Pain sitting fully upright, looking more awake, and Deidara and Sasori obviously trying not to stare at her.“Is it cool if I use your shower?” Pain asked, getting up. Konan nodded, and he shuffled past them to the bathroom, yawning. Konan sat back down on the bed and helped herself to more food. “Thanks for bringing this,” she said. “It was really nice of you.”Sasori and Deidara were both sitting at the end of the bed, looking very awkward, and very sorry for her. She smiled at them. “You guys look really stupid, though. Stop staring at me!”Sasori snorted and looked down, while Deidara looked at the ceiling.“That’s not what I meant!” Konan laughed. “I just mean… Just be normal! Please? Otherwise I’ll feel…” She trailed off, shrugging when she couldn’t think of exactly what she would feel, other than an overwhelming loss of hope that anything would ever go back to the way things were.“Okay,” Sasori said seriously, getting comfortable and helping himself to the last piece of toast. “So. What exactly happened with you and Pain last night, hmmm?” He smirked at her, completely his usual self. “Sharing a bed I see. Under the covers, too. Did you make some progress, or what?”Konan rolled her eyes, laughing. “ That’s more like it.”“...Is what you said last night?”—After Pain came back from the shower, he and Sasori left to go for a walk, and Konan asked Deidara if he wanted to hang out.“Sure, hm. Do you want to go anywhere?” he asked. He had had more trouble acting normally around her than Sasori, but talking about something other than the night before seemed to be helpful.Konan shook her head. “I have to go to the village tomorrow to get a swimsuit, so I’d kinda like to stay here today.”Deidara raised an eyebrow. “You don’t have one? Did you forget it?”“No, I can’t actually swim,” Konan confessed, moving the empty food tray to her table.Deidara laughed. “Seriously? You never learned? Have you ever tried?”“No… But like, I can stand in the water at the beach, and I can float in an inner tube, and I can sit in a hot tub just fine, and…” she trailed off, realizing how lame it sounded as Deidara laughed harder.“So, you can’t swim, and according to Sasori, you can’t play volleyball…”“Hey!”“Did you never play any sports or anything? Can you even ride a bike?” Deidara asked teasingly. There was an embarrassed silence. Deidara gaped at her. “Wait, I was joking!! You seriously can’t ride a bike!? ”“My parents never taught me, okay?” Konan said defensively. “But I did other things! I can play piano and violin! I did horseback riding, I learned to play tennis, and golf, I did dance, and gymnastics, and…”Deidara snorted. “Wow, slow down, Fancy Nancy. Horses? Golf?” Konan shrugged, grimacing.“But you can’t ride a bike? ” “I don’t know why!” Konan said, laughing too now. “And to be fair, I didn’t like golf, it was fucking boring. I liked gymnastics, though!”“Why did you do golf if you didn’t like it?”Konan shrugged. “My dad picked everything. He didn’t let me play soccer, I remember... Anyway, I was wondering…” She scuffed her foot shyly on the rug, hands behind her back, smiling at Deidara, who immediately looked wary.“What?” he asked suspiciously.“Um… Sasori told me a really beautiful story…”As soon as she said Sasori’s name, Deidara rolled his eyes, but couldn’t keep a little smile off his face. “Whatever he’s told you is probably 80% bullshit.”“It was about how you guys started dating. It was so cute!”Deidara gave a huge sigh, covering his face. “You want to talk about that? You don’t want to do anything else?”“I could braid your hair while you tell me?” Konan offered. “I’m pretty good…”To her surprise, Deidara uncovered his face, eyebrows raised. “Really?”“Yeah, totally. I’d be happy to.”“Cool, yeah, let’s do that,” Deidara said, getting off her bed. “Let’s go to my room, though. There’s more privacy.”“Sure!” Konan followed him out the door. “Do you like getting your hair braided?” she asked curiously.Deidara shrugged, opening the door closest to hers in the hall, which was covered in bright ‘No Entry,’ ‘Caution,’ ‘Unstable Contents,’ ‘Explosives Within,’ ‘Private,’ and ‘Trespassers Will Be Prosecuted’ stickers. “My sister used to do it. I just like people playing with my hair, honestly. It feels nice,” he said as they headed inside.“Wow, your room is so cool!” Konan said, looking around. She hadn’t been inside Deidara’s room yet. Like Pain, he had erected lots of shelves around the walls, but Deidara’s were covered with what looked like at least a hundred white clay sculptures of animals and human-like figures with wide hollow mouths and large hands. Unlike Sasori, Deidara didn’t have dozens of polaroids taped to the walls, but he did have a framed photo of blonde people who must be his family, a few with the whole friend group, messing around and laughing, and one whose frame lay face down. “One of your pictures fell over,” Konan said, reaching for it. Deidara glanced over and made an embarrassed noise. “Is it secret?” Konan asked, her hand freezing in midair. “No…” Deidara said, looking a little flustered. “I just… I can’t look at this thing every day, and Sasori doesn’t like seeing it, but… Ugh, it’s seriously nothing…” He reached past her and jerked the frame upright.It was a candid photo of Sasori. It had obviously been taken at night, and the flash had gone off, whiting his whole face out into a near-featureless moon. He also looked to be mid-sneeze.Konan burst out laughing. “He looks so stupid!” she exclaimed, staring down at what had to be the worst photo of Sasori in existence.Deidara grinned. “He hates that I keep this here. He hates this photo, but Pain printed it out for my birthday last year and it’s just so fucking dumb…”“Wait…” Konan looked around his room again. “Is this the only picture of Sasori you have here?”Deidara was trying so hard to keep a straight face, but just couldn’t under her incredulous gaze. “Uh… yeah.”“No wonder he hates that!!” Konan yelled, completely losing it as she looked again at Sasori’s half-closed eyes, the blur of his open mouth, the overexposed white blob of his face. It took them a while to stop laughing, but they eventually caught their breath and sat on Deidara’s bed, Konan leaning against the wall, Deidara leaning against her legs so she could braid his hair.“So,” Konan said after a few minutes, running a brush gently through Deidara’s long blonde hair, “Um, like I said, I had asked Sasori about how you guys got together, and it was a really cute story—”Deidara gave a derisive snort. “Yeah, okay, sure. ”“Well, I was wondering if you could tell me, like your side of the story, because it sounded really romantic…”Deidara gave an enormous, soul-weary sigh.“...and I would love a distraction from like… everything that happened…” she wheedled.“Yeah, yeah,” he relented. “Okay, well, before you start, you know, taking Sasori’s word for it, and imagining some kind of rom-com, meet-cute, rose-tinted love affair… whatever the hell he said…” He said darky, “You should know that the very day I came to this school, one year ago…”Konan grinned, watching him settle in, folding his arms and leaning back, gazing into the middle distance like he was about to embark on an epic war story or something, like he was about to begin, T’was a dark and stormy night… “Within the first five minutes of being in this building, I knew that I had entered hell.”Konan gave a little splutter of laughter. “What do you mean?”“While waiting to meet with Tsunaboobs and get my orientation package, I was suddenly cornered by this smug, piece of shit, five-foot-nothing pervert.”Konan giggled. Deidara was completely getting into it now, considering he hadn’t wanted to tell her the story — she genuinely felt like a hairstylist and he was giving her all the drama, pausing for her laughs and gasps.“And, if you can believe it, this dickhead, okay, he used to walk around with a fucking lollipop sticking out of his mouth.”“What!?”“I know , fucking lunacy. So I was like, just standing there, holding my transfer papers or whatever, and he came up, and…” He was obviously getting a little flustered already. Konan grinned as she saw his ears and the back of his neck had turned pink. She could totally see why Sasori had said that he had loved to tease Deidara. He was really cute when he was embarrassed or annoyed.“He just fricking like pins me against the wall, completely in my personal space, I don’t even know this guy, so like… what kind of first impression is that…?” Deidara demanded. “Yeah, that’s pretty… crazy,” Konan agreed, visualizing the scene in her head. Deidara, wide-eyed, pressed up against the wall; Sasori, in a classic make-out-against-a-locker pose, hands splayed on either side of Deidara’s head, a lollipop sticking out of his mouth. 
Sasori… You maniac…
“So, he pisses off, I talk to Tsunade or Shizune, whatever, and then , they assign me to a room,” Deidara said with a huff. “And for a little context here, the 5th years have this dorm set-up right? But the lower years are like three or four to a single room. So I head in, meet my roommates. That’s when I met Pain.” Deidara scowled and sighed again. “And I’m pretty sure I was in the middle of telling him all about this dickhead I had met, when who should come through the door…? Sasori. So it turns out that this fricking creep is actually also my roommate, so you can imagine…”“Oh no!” Konan gasped, being the perfect audience. She started on a new section of braids as Deidara muttered under his breath. “So, I guess you couldn’t even talk to Pain about it, could you? ‘Cause he’s really close with Sasori right? Did you have anyone you could talk to?”“Not really!” Deidara said, annoyed. “Not to mention, okay, after a while, Pain started to… like, okay, he’s Sasori’s best friend, he knew Sasori was…” He trailed off and gave an irritated little scoff, “You know… interested in me, or at least, interested in harassing me, and he just started stirring shit, basically.”“Pain did?” Konan asked, giggling.Deidara snorted. “He sure fucking did. ‘Oh, let me just lock you guys in a closet for an hour, let me just impersonate a fucking taxi driver to take Sasori to the airport to see you…’” “Are you serious!?” Konan exclaimed. “It’s hard to imagine him doing that…”“Nah, he loved it,” Deidara snorted. “I kind of think I was their hobby. Like they were both completely obsessed with annoying the shit out of me.”Konan patted him on the back, giggling. “I’m sorry, Deidara.”He laughed. “I mean, okay, I’m making it sound pretty bad. And it did suck… but… the thing about my man Sasori, is that he…” Deidara trailed off, humming, like he was trying to find the words. Konan ran her fingers through his hair, separating another section. “What?”“Well, okay, I mean, as repugnant as I found him to begin with,” Deidara said, very primly, making Konan bite down on a smile behind him, “And as difficult as I found it to get over the near-insurmountable barrier of his terrible first impression, and his personality, and lack of respect for other people’s personal space…”Konan was full-on killing herself trying not to burst out laughing.“Eventually, I was sort of able to… you know… there were small moments in between being pissed off all of the time, where I could kind of see that he was… alright… and not, not… terrible to look at…” Deidara grumbled, the back of his neck reddening again.“So, you guys became friends?”“Well, yeah, I did hang out with him and Pain… and pretty much only them at the time… so… yes, we were friends. But it was a complete Stockholm syndrome situation,” he said defensively. “I didn’t really have an option, we were all living together…”“But like, you… you did like him, though right?” Konan asked, now a little uncertain, “I mean, you… he didn’t like, harass you into a relationship, or like wear you down until you gave in… like, you’re… you were happy, right?” she stammered.She was starting to get a tiny bit worried, like she’d asked a sweet elderly couple about their love story and been told they had a twenty year age gap and had met when she was fourteen, or something.Deidara laughed, clearly picking up what she was putting down. “Okay, okay, I might be misrepresenting things. It was all good, Konan.”“Okay, but like… you sure?”“How do I say this… If someone you really… argh…” Deidara tilted his head to one side with a loud sigh, obviously struggling to explain. “Okay, yes, he invaded my personal space when we first met. And, actually, every fricking day. But, I don’t… like it was annoying, for sure, but I’m not really a guy who needs a lot of personal space…”“Okay…” Konan said slowly.“And yes, he was constantly like, flirting with me or whatever… But the thing is… even at the time, I did think he was pretty hot, even if I didn’t, I guess, want to admit it because I hated him… but I didn’t hate him… I mean, I kind of hated everything he did, but like… not really…”Konan nodded slowly. “Gotcha.” These guys were a fucking mess , she thought, mystified. Sasori’s out here pinning random strangers to the wall and sexually harassing his roommate. Deidara is apparently the god of playing hot-and-cold, hating everything about Sasori while also being incredibly turned on by everything he hates about him. Jeez… Talk about sexual tension… She suddenly snorted with laughter, imagining what it must have been like for Pain , living with both of them, just waiting for them to stop fighting and start dating when they were so clearly obsessed with each other… No wonder he started messing with them all the time. She kind of wanted to ask him about it.“Okay, well, Sasori kind of skated past all that stuff,” she said. “He just said that you thought he was like, messing around, and didn’t think he was actually into you, for real.”Deidara shrugged. “Yeah, I mean, sometimes even now I think that.”“Seriously?”“I mean, yeah. He’s still basically the same as he’s always been. And yeah, last year I thought he was just messing around because he thought it was fun to piss me off, or try to hook up with me, or whatever. But… I know he keeps trying to like, prove he’s serious. But now it’s kind of…” He shrugged again.“You still think that he’s not actually into you?” Konan asked, starting on a new braid and giving him a little pat on the shoulder. “What do you mean?”“It’s just hard to understand him sometimes. He wasn’t serious about anything when we met, and now it’s like he’s too serious, or something.”Konan frowned, a little worried; this was so different from how Sasori had talked about his feelings, and his relationship with Deidara.“Deidara,” Konan said firmly, “Sasori basically told me that he can’t fucking breathe without you.”Deidara was quiet for a moment, the side of his face flushed. He picked at a piece of lint on his duvet. “I mean, he would say that. He says all the time,” he said, softly and a little sulkily.Konan frowned as she finished another braid, confused by Deidara’s reaction. “You don’t believe it when he says that? Or what? It’s kind of intense?”Deidara shrugged. “I mean, I know he’s obsessed with me. I know he like, loves me, hm…” He was still embarrassed, talking into his knees. “He always talks in like forever and always , but…”Konan wrapped an elastic around her current braid and tapped Deidara to get him to lean forward. She scooted around until they were sitting facing each other.“What’s up?” he asked hesitantly. Konan gazed at him, biting her lips anxiously. She wasn’t totally sure how she could broach the topic… or if she should even try.“Hey… I know we haven’t known each other that long,” she began, a little nervously. “Obviously I haven’t known you as long as Pain and Sasori have, and I know we haven’t really had a lot of long talks before.”Dediara blinked at her, a little bit nonplussed. “Uh huh…”“And I know this is like, awkward, but I just wanted to say…” She took a deep breath, “...that if you would like to talk about anything, I’m happy to listen, always. I know you have lots of friends, and I know you’re really close with Sasori and Pain, but if you ever want to talk to someone else, I’m here.”Deidara still looked confused, but he smiled a little. “Okay, Konan. You’re on.”“I’d be happy to. Anytime.”Deidara raised an eyebrow. “Not to be overly suspicious, and I do appreciate the offer, but… is there any particular reason you’re saying this now?”
Ah. How do I say… ‘Because I apparently can’t stop myself from diving into the personal business of my friends, and I am worried that you can’t seem to accept that your boyfriend loves you’?
Konan shrugged and tugged the neck of her hoodie up to cover her mouth, feeling nervous.“Well… I’m sure things are different now… and I know Pain and Sasori are wonderful friends to have, but I guess I felt a little sad hearing you talking about how your friend group last year was basically just them, and since they’ve known each other longer, and since Sasori was trying to go out with you… it just sounded kind of lonely, if maybe you couldn’t share how you were feeling to someone uninvolved.” She shrugged, glancing at Deidara to try see how he was taking this.His eyes had widened in surprise, and he sat up a little straighter, but he didn’t say anything, just watching her.“And,” Konan said, forcing herself to be truthful, “Even though I know you and Sasori express yourselves differently, and I’ve talked more with him so far… it made me a little sad to hear that you don’t seem to really, completely accept how much he loves you.”She hugged her knees, really feeling like she was crossing a line, but unable to stop now.“And I might just be reading too far into it, and I’m really sorry if that’s a total overreach, but it’s just… that’s why I wanted to say, if you ever want to talk about anything with someone who’s not Sasori, I’m here.”“What are you, some kind of little friendship fairy?” Deidara said with a snort of laughter. Konan sighed. “Okay, nevermind. Sorry. Forget I said anything.” She got up to leave, but Deidara grabbed her wrist. “Wait… I’m sorry. Don’t go.”Konan turned. Deidara was looking down, blushing, as he pulled her back towards the bed.
Is this what life with a tsundere is like!? Jesus, Sasori must have a heart of steel…
“What?” she asked, sitting back down. Deidara folded his arms, avoiding her gaze, but still pink in the face. “I’d like that,” he said.“To talk to me?”“Yeah.”“Okay.”“Not today, though.”Konan grinned and sat back down on the bed. “Okay. Could you give me some dating advice, then?”Deidara rolled his eyes but smiled, too. “Sure. Like you need any help… Didn’t you guys wake up together?”“Yeah, but… Okay, it’s kind of a long story, but basically he kind of implied that he likes me, too, in a roundabout way, but he’s waiting for a good moment to ask me out.”Deidara snorted. “How about this: ‘Konan, how’s it going?’ ‘Good, thanks.’ ‘Wanna go out with me?’ ‘Sure do.’ Tada!” Konan laughed. “I mean I’d be down for that, but I guess he’s really focused on like… the right atmosphere? I’m not sure. Probably a day when my head isn’t all scabby.”Deidara wrinkled his nose, but said “Fair, I guess.”“Anyway,” Konan continued, getting up and pacing back and forth. “I’ve been thinking about how to create the perfect moment.”Deidara smirked. “You live for drama, huh?”Konan lifted his legs so he fell over backwards, laughing. “Hey, hey. Where’s my advice man?”“Alright, alright. What are you thinking?”“Okay, so I don’t personally have any dating experience, so all these ideas are from rom coms…”“Uh huh. We’re off to a good start,” Deidara said sarcastically, grinning.“Shush! Alrighty, well, first up I was thinking of the Bridget Jones’ Diary approach, but the Mark Darcy romance is really hard to replicate, since they hated each other at first, and we don’t hate each other.” Her eyes fell on a roll of drawing paper and supplies on the floor. “Could I borrow this?”“Knock yourself out,” Deidara yawned, leaning back against his pillows, crossing his arms behind his head.A few minutes later, Konan had taped several large sheets of paper to the wall, and was tapping a felt marker against her chin thoughtfully. “Okay, but later, Mark Darcy sees her laughing in a rowboat on the lake, and she’s really happy and gorgeous…” She wrote ‘laughing on rowboat’ on the paper. “...and then later he sees her in a playboy bunny outfit, and that’s definitely powerful…” She added ‘playboy bunny’ to the sheet. “And then they make dinner together and have some fun.” She added ‘cooking.’Deidara was staring at her with his eyebrows raised, plainly trying not to laugh.Konan ignored him. “Not necessarily a lot to work with there. So then I was thinking about Legally Blonde , where Elle Woods falls in love with Owen Wilson’s brother. And that’s mostly personality-based, plus the fact that she’s Reese Witherspoon, so obviously she’s gorgeous…” Konan wrote ‘personality’ on the sheet, and then ‘hot celebrity / duh.’“But the interesting thing is that he sees her also dressed up as a playboy bunny!”Konan circled ‘playboy bunny’ on the sheet several times.“Another one I was thinking about was 10 Things I Hate About You, but there’s a little trouble there, because you guys would have to pay him to go out with me, and I don’t have a sister so that subplot’s kind of out, and you need to pay him because I have a reputation as being a huge bitch who nobody wants to date, and then he falls for my personality, but then there’s a dramatic showdown where I find out that you guys were paying him, but I still love him, so….” She was busy scribbling ‘pay to date,’ ‘lies,’ and ‘huge bitch,’ on the paper when Deidara burst out laughing.“Come on! You’re falling at the first hurdle with the no-sister thing, and then you slam into the next hurdle because you’re not a huge bitch, and you just fricking barrel roll into the third hurdle, because Pain doesn’t need paying to ask you out, and even then, Kakuzu wouldn’t lay down a red cent for something so stupid!” he laughed.Konan couldn’t help laughing, too. “Well, help me then!”“Uh… How about The Notebook ?” Deidara asked. “How do you feel about emotionally blackmailing Pain into being your boyfriend by threatening to kill yourself if he doesn’t go on a date with you?”“Um, not great? Is that what happens in the movie!?”“Yeah. It’s supposed to be romantic…”“...Yikes.” They spent the next two hours making more and more outlandish suggestions and laughing their heads off. By the end of it, Deidara had an extremely elaborate, Game of Thrones- style braided hairdo, and the papers stuck to the wall were completely filled with ridiculous scenarios and suggestions, including several drawings of Konan in a bunny outfit.Eventually Sasori stuck his head in to ask what they wanted for lunch, only to get distracted by the posters full of crazy stuck to the walls. He walked over and squinted at them. “‘Fall in fountain together,’” he read out, “‘Learn the drums,’ ‘Defeat the evil exes in hand-to-hand combat,’ ‘Disguises as woman to run from mob, joins band in drag, then un-drags for date with me??,’ ‘Run to him in snow in underwear,’ ‘Yell out secret phrase revealing true identity while rolling down hill to possible death,’ ‘Be sex worker then get paid to be fake girlfriend,’ ‘Replace dance partner, learn to dance,’ ‘Get pregnant, give baby up for adoption, then start dating??,’ ‘Fight, tumble down hill, have sex on grass under stars to Elton John song (as lions),’....” Sasori trailed off, turning to look at Konan and Deidara who were both nearly crying from laughing. “I don’t even want to know…” –That night, before going to bed, Konan knocked on Sasori’s door.“What’s up?” he asked. He was lying on his bed, reading a book.“Nothing, just looking,” Konan said with a shrug, walking over to the wall he had covered with polaroid pictures.“Okay…” Sasori said, watching her.She looked at the photos, hands behind her back like she was at a gallery, smiling at the dozens and dozens of photos Sasori had taken of their friends, laughing, fooling around, posing. It was cute seeing photos from a year or more ago, where they all looked younger. Sasori seemed to have had a curly mullet when he was fourteen or so. There were at least thirty photos just of Deidara. Deidara smiling, laughing, sticking his tongue out, kissing Sasori, asleep in the back of a car, Deidara climbing a tree, laughing by the lake, lying on the floor, eating pizza, making a silly face… There wasn’t a single bad photo of him.“Wow, these are all really good,” Konan said, smiling at one of Deidara scowling at the camera, hands in his pockets, his hair blowing in the wind. “Thanks.”“Deidara’s really photogenic.”“Yeah, he is.”Konan was trying so hard to keep a straight face.“If only we all could be so lucky,” she said, her voice breaking as she tried to suppress a giggle.“What do you… HE SHOWED YOU THAT STUPID FUCKING PICTURE OF ME SNEEZING, DIDN’T HE!?” Sasori roared as Konan burst out laughing, running from the room as he chucked his pillows after her.—-The next day, Deidara did another breakfast run to the mess hall for everyone, and they ate together on the floor of Konan’s room, as she didn’t want to head into the main part of the school sooner than she really had to. The gang wanted to go to the village to shoot pool, and Konan mentioned that she’d need to stop by the store while they were there to pick up a swimsuit. “Swimsuit shopping, huh?” Sasori asked, rubbing his chin. “Sounds fun, I’ll come with you.”“I mean, we might as well all go,” Itachi said over his mug of tea. “It won’t take too long.”“You forgot your swimsuit, hey? That’s a pain,” Kisame said to Konan, who shook her head.“No, I don’t actually have one…”“Konan can’t swim!” Deidara said, making a ‘tada’ gesture around Konan’s head, complete with jazz hands. “ And she also can’t ride a bike!”Konan rolled her eyes as several of the others looked at her in surprise and Hidan burst into derisive laughter. “ Thanks, Deidara.”“However! She can play piano and violin, ride a horse, dance, play tennis and golf, and she did gymnastics,” Deidara rattled off, like he was a first grader telling them cool facts about his favourite dinosaur.“Gymnastics, huh?” Sasori said, raising an eyebrow.Konan knew where he was going with it, and pointedly continued to drink her coffee without taking the bait. “So, you’re pretty flexible , huh?”
Bingo.
When she glanced up, as expected, Sasori was waggling his eyebrows suggestively at Pain. He was so predictable. “Leave her alone, Sasori,” Pain said mildly, stealing Sasori’s last bite of bagel from his plate.Sasori ignored him. “Bet you thirty bucks you can’t do the splits all the way to the floor,” he said to Konan.Before she’d even opened her mouth to reply, Kakuzu piped up, “I’ll take that action. Make it fifty.”Konan stared at him. Kakuzu held a hand against his cheek, blocking Sasori’s view, and mouthed Don’t screw me on this! at her. Konan shot him a harrassed eye roll. Everyone else was piping in with bigger and bigger bets, until it seemed like they would get a grand total of $200 from Sasori if Konan could do both side and middle splits to the floor, put her hands on the floor backwards from standing, and touch Hidan on the shoulder with her foot standing two feet away or less. Konan grinned at Sasori, raising her eyebrows. “If I throw in something extra, will you pay for my bathing suit?”Sasori, who was starting to look concerned he might actually have to pay up, gave her an appraising look. “Only if I get to pick it.”“Hell no.”“Fine. You have to pick something from my top 5 choices.”Konan bit her lips. They were both looking at each other so suspiciously, Deidara was laughing at them. “ Deal,” she agreed.“Can you actually do all this stuff?” Pain asked Konan, hands in his pockets as he backed out of her way.She smiled at him. “You saying I can’t?”“I’m ready to be incredibly impressed,” he grinned.“Okay…” Konan scooted her chair out of the way as the others moved all the plates, giving her as much room as the space would allow. She pulled on a pair of socks and did a couple deep stretches to limber up.
Good thing I wore leggings today…
She stood up, raised her eyebrows, smiling at Sasori, and slid easily down into a side split, hitting the floor. The boys all yelled; Hidan was staggering around, clutching his hair, going completely crazy; Kakuzu pointed at Sasori. “That’s fifty,” he said, drawing a thumb across his neck, grinning. Sasori rolled his eyes, then dropped his jaw in shock as Konan pressed against the ground for support, lifted up, switched her hands so they were on the same side, rolled her hips, and sank back down again into a middle split, lowering her torso flat on the ground, laughing as the guys screamed again, yelling “A hundred!!” Konan caught Pain’s eye as she lifted out of the splits and got to her feet. He was cheering with the others, his ears pink. Sasori leaned over to him, arms folded, and whispered something in Pain’s ear, but Pain just shoved him off, laughing.Konan shook out her arms, rolled her shoulders back, and then dipped into a smooth backbend, planting her hands on the floor, and just for fun, lifted her legs over in a walkover.  “A hundred fifty!!!”  The boys screamed around her as Sasori groaned loudly. “Who the fuck cares she can’t ride a bike!? This is sick!! ” Hidan exclaimed, gesturing at Konan, who took a little bow as she straightened up. “Cirque du fucking Soleil over here!”Konan beckoned him over and he came, grinning. Deidara measured two feet between them, and Konan stood, holding his arm with one hand for extra balance – it had been a while since she was doing gymnastics regularly, although she did still keep up with her stretching. She slowly raised her right leg to the side and up, biting her lips as she focused on her balance. The others around her were going “ohhhhHH—” as she rotated her leg and brought it up nearly vertical and rested her heel against Hidan’s shoulder.
“TWO HUNDRED!!!!” 
Sasori had collapsed into a chair, where Deidara stood, simultaneously laughing at him and patting him sympathetically on the shoulder.Konan lowered her leg and shook it out, grinning at Sasori. “You ready to buy my bathing suit?” she asked.“This better be worth it,” he said grumpily. “Yeah, I think so. It’s been a while though.” Konan scanned her friends, assessing their height relative to hers. She stepped over to Pain. “Could you be my volunteer?” she asked, smiling, a little out of breath. “Need me to hold your foot or something?” he asked.She shrugged, grinning. “Or something. How’s your core strength?” “Oooooooh,” the boys chorused teasingly.She hadn’t meant to say it, had just blurted it out, but there was definitely something in Pain’s eyes that told her he liked it. He blinked at her, taken aback, then smirked. “I’m sure I can take it.”Konan raised an eyebrow, smirking. “Okay, if you say so.”She caught sight of Sasori and Deidara, looking at each other gleefully and whispering. She was pretty sure she knew why.
Somehow… I’m 1000% flirting with Pain in front of fucking everybody. On a Sunday morning. On god’s day. Oh well.
“Okay,” she said, refocusing, knowing she had to give him a heads up otherwise they were both going to go completely crashing to the floor, and he’d probably have some serious neck pain. “I’m going to run at you, push off with my hands, and land on your shoulders. And you’ve got to stay standing, and kind of catch me. So you need to brace yourself. Sound good?”“Uh…” Pain said, staring. “Yeah, sounds good. You can do that!?”“It’s way easier on a spring floor, but yeah. I’m not going that high.”He whistled.She positioned him at the end of the hall, which would allow her enough run-up space, and which thankfully was high-ceilinged and not too narrow. Then she pulled off her socks, not wanting to slip. She tried to ignore the fact that every single one of the others had their phones out, recording.“Ready?” she said.“Ready for the sickest thing ever!? Fuck yeah!” Hidan cheered.“Ready?” she said, quieter, looking right in Pain’s eyes. He nodded, legs braced, arms out and ready.She nodded at him, took a moment— then ran down the hall, timing her steps. She got her hands down, felt the familiar impact slam in her wrists, the vibration in her arms, straight and strong as her legs soared up behind her and she flew up, flipping, opening her legs and wham– Pain caught her as she landed on his shoulders, curled around him, his arms holding her thighs, her legs crossed behind his neck, her hands cupping the back of his head.There was an explosion of cheering from behind her. “You gotta buy her swimsuit!!!” She felt Pain breathing hard into her stomach and laughed; it tickled. She loosened her grip around his head, slipping down as he supported her, and met his gaze, grinning at him. His eyes were wide and dark as he stared at her.“How… how do you get down?” he asked faintly.“Uh, it’s easiest if you’re able to take a knee. Be careful though,” she said. He slowly lowered one knee to the ground, keeping his back straight, holding her in place. She bent backwards, spine curving until she could touch the ground with her fingers, loosening her thighs’ grip around his neck so she didn’t pull him over, then brought her legs arcing down, and stood up. “You okay?” she asked when she was able to get a good look at Pain as he stood up. “Did I hurt you at all?” He shook his head, but he looked a little dazed. “All good,” he reassured her, patting her on the shoulder and heading over to Sasori, who was pretending to cry into his wallet.Deidara sidled up to Konan. “Is your idea of creating the ‘perfect moment’ crushing his head with your thighs?” he asked her in an undertone, grinning.“Shh!” she giggled. “And no… But do you think… I dunno…” She blushed, not even sure what she was trying to say. “Do you think it would make him kind of interested though?”Deidara patted her on the back. “You just backflipped your pussy into his face. If he’s not thinking about that for the entire year, I’ll be surprised, hm.”—-They took the bus into the village, and split up outside the pool hall; Kakuzu, Kisame, and Itachi went to grab a table. Kakuzu was already plotting out bets to double his share of Sasori’s money, and they promised to order nachos for the others. Konan wasn’t entirely sure why she had a whole entourage with her just to get a bathing suit, and she felt it was a little ridiculous when she, Sasori, Deidara, Pain, and Hidan all filed into the tiny boutique, taking up about 60% of the floorspace. Konan sat on a loveseat by the dressing room with Pain as Sasori, Deidara, and Hidan ran around picking swimsuits for her to try on, laughing and yelling and generally being kind of annoying. She glanced occasionally at the sour-faced cashier, who had tried to help them at first, but had quickly retreated when faced with Hidan asking ‘Where the fuck are the fucking bikinis?’.  If they get us kicked out, I’ll have to swim in my gym uniform, I guess… Honestly, that might be less embarrassing than anything they pick… She and Pain were part-way through their third game of chopsticks when Sasori and the other two approached, each holding about four swimsuits. Konan raised her eyebrows; several of them seemed to be made of 90% string.“Alright, so the deal was…” Konan began hesitantly.“You have to pick a suit from my top 5,” Sasori said, smirking.“Right…. And the reason you seem to have collected a load of butt floss pretending to be swimwear is…?” she asked, pointing to one suit which fully had a g-string as the bottom bikini piece.Sasori gave her an innocent shrug. “That’s all they have!”“No it isn’t —” Sasori interrupted her, lifting her to her feet and pushing her into the changeroom; “Yes, yes, yes, now get to trying these on! And I want to see them all,” he called over the closing door.“Maybe I’ll just buy my own swimsuit,” Konan called back.“Nevermind, just show me the ones you like!” Sasori amended sweetly, and she snorted, muttering about the hassle of being friends with a massive pervert.The trouble was, none of the boys seemed to have picked a single swimsuit that seemed likely to stay on for more than ten minutes. Good thing I went for a wax recently, she thought glumly.“This counts as sexual harassment, right?” she asked, scowling as she came out in the first swimsuit, a bright pink halter one-piece which was cut so high it was three inches over her actual hip, and had a large oval cut-out at the stomach.“It looks like it’s giving you a wedgie,” Deidara said, wincing.“Yeah, well, it is.”“What the hell are those bruises?” Hidan asked, pointing at her arms. Konan flinched; Sasori and Deidara both looked at Pain, who looked at Konan, who, after a beat, smiled sardonically and said, “You should see the other guy.”Hidan grinned at her. “That’s my girl!”Konan gave Pain a bemused little smile before turning back to the changeroom. He raised his eyebrows in return.Konan tried on the next swimsuit, which she did like despite the fact that she would never in a million years want to swim in it, let alone spend more than half an hour in it. It was the kind of thing she’d have found sexy if someone else were wearing it, but she didn’t want to wear it herself.The bottom half was a black thong, and the top half was mostly string, which wrapped and criss-crossed up her waist into two black strips of fabric for the cups and a halter neck.“Tada,” she said sarcastically as she came out to show them, trying to cover what she could with her arms.Hidan Deidara, and Pain whistled. Sasori was resting his chin on his bridged hands, like an exam proctor or a wizened sage.“What’s up? Not enough string?” she asked.“Move your hands,” he said.“Ok, I’m getting sick of this. I’m not your dress-up toy! I’m just gonna choose one myself,” she snapped, irritated, turning to head back to the changeroom.“Ah- ha!!” Sasori crowed suddenly. “TATTOO!!”Konan put her hands on her hips and tipped her forehead against the changeroom door with a huge, annoyed sigh.“Is that what this is all about!?” she demanded, turning back around to glare at Sasori, “Because you could’ve just asked me!!”“A tattoo in a place ‘you’ll never see, ’ you said!!” Sasori said triumphantly, totally ignoring her. “Mystery solved!”“Is it cherries?” Deidara asked, getting up. “Yes…” Konan sighed. She had gone to see The Runaways for Kristen Stewart, become obsessed with Elle Fanning’s cover of ‘Cherry Bomb’, and had stopped at a drop-in tattoo parlour on the way home, correctly assuming that they wouldn’t check ID, and that her father would never find out.“Can we take a picture?” Sasori asked. “What!?” Konan asked, turning around angrily, to see him holding a blue polaroid camera with a silver star bow.“Is that…?” “It’s a present for you,” Pain said. He was still sitting on the loveseat, arms folded casually across his chest, smiling at her. “We got you a new phone, too!” Dediara said, holding out a box wrapped in blue paper.“We did?” Hidan asked.“You owe me some money,” Pain said, grinning at him.“Are you… really??” Konan squeaked as Deidara passed her the box with the new phone. She couldn’t believe it. “That’s so…”“So can we take an inaugural picture? The old champagne-against-the-boat thing?” Sasori asked, waving the polaroid camera.“Okay, sure,” Konan said, relenting in the face of the gifts. She looked at Pain, smiling at her, and mouthed Thank you . He winked.Pain took the photo. Konan looked over her shoulder with a peace sign, while Sasori, Deidara, and Hidan crowded around her on their knees, pointing at the tattoo on her butt cheek.Konan changed into another swimsuit as they waited for the picture to develop. “Can I just go with this one?” she asked Sasori, emerging in a plain black string bikini. It was cute, not as revealing as the others, and while she didn’t feel super confident about the strings, she wasn’t about to be Michael Phelpsing her way around the pool, anyway.“Hmm… I approve!” Sasori said. “I’m getting bored, anyway, and the others have probably eaten all the nachos. Let’s go!”“Hey! You have to pay for this, dummy!” Konan called after him as he got up to leave.After Konan had changed back into her leggings, sweater, and raincoat, and Sasori had proceeded to the cashier, Pain pulled her aside for a second.“Thank you so much for the new phone and the camera!!” she said breathlessly before he could speak. “I can’t believe you did that…”“No worries. You can make up for it by texting me first,” he said with a grin before kind of refocusing, rubbing the back of his head. “Uh, it has a SIM card, all our numbers are in there already, you just need to figure out a phone plan.”“Amazing!”“I thought you’d like the camera,” he said quietly, nodding at it, “Because you can take as many pictures as you like, and you never have to worry about anyone seeing them on your phone or email or anything.”Konan nodded. “Plus I can make a cute wall of polaroids, like Sasori’s!”“Starting with one of your ass,” Pain snorted, handing her the picture, which had finished developing.“Jesus…” Konan giggled, looking at everyone making stupid faces. She put it in her pocket, then suddenly remembering something she had wanted to tell him, gasped with excitement, grabbing his sweater. “What the—” “I saw the photo!! The photo of Sasori sneezing that Deidara keeps in his room!!” she whispered excitedly.Pain burst out laughing.“It’s so good, right!? I took it last year.”“ Yes, it’s fucking amazing!! And, it’s… it’s…” She was giggling so much she could barely talk at this point. “It’s the only picture of him… in the whole room…” “Shh, he’ll hear you…”“But Sasori has so many of Deidara, and they’re all perfect …”They were both dying from laughter, trying to be quiet and completely failing. A loud AHEM from Sasori sobered them up. “We’re going!” he said tartly, with a face that told Konan he knew exactly what they had been laughing at.They dissolved into quiet giggles again as they followed him out of the store. — By the end of the day, Konan had five other photos printed from her new camera; one of her on Hidan’s shoulders, holding their pool cues like swords after they beat Itachi and Pain at pool and won all the money Kakuzu had bet on the game; one of herself, Sasori, and Deidara all sharing a milkshake; one of the whole group with their arms around their shoulders; one of Pain winking at the camera while Kisame gave him bunny ears, and one Sasori took of her and Pain sitting together on the bus ride back.When they were back in the dorm, Itachi, Hidan, and Kisame went to grab dinner and bring it up; they were all going to watch John Wick together. Pain came up and asked Konan for a quick chat, so they went into her room.“Shizune called me,” he said quietly, so the others couldn’t overhear.Konan frowned, then remembered. “Oh,” she said. “Okay… Did it go alright?”“She didn’t seem to realize it wasn’t him, at least. I mean, hopefully she hasn’t spoken to your dad before.”Konan snorted. “ I have a hard time getting him to come to the phone. I doubt he’d take her call.”“Okay. Well, all she said was that you had been involved in a violent incident, that she had recommended you go for a blood test to check for illicit substances, and that the other students involved had been punished.”Konan groaned and flopped onto the bed. “Thank god she called you. He’d have fucking helicoptered me out of here and locked me up somewhere.”“He’s that protective?”“He’s that paranoid ,” Konan grumbled. “I mean, when I wasn’t with him, he didn’t seem to particularly care what I did. But if he ever heard I’d snuck out, or if he thought I was seeing someone, or doing something ‘dangerous’, he’d go crazy.” She snorted. “I think he’d have a heart attack if he knew what actually happened.”“I mean… any parent would, though, right?” Pain said quietly.Konan shrugged. “It’s hard to explain.” She didn't want to explain.—
“A young lady such as yourself must remain pristine,” he said tightly. The shards of glass that had once been a beautiful desk ornament lay scattered at his feet. He was still staring at her new labret piercing, eyes bulging.
“You hardly ever see me, why do you care!? It’s my body!” Konan screamed back, near tears.
He slammed a fist on his desk, making her flinch. 
“No, it isn’t!” he yelled. “I have invested a significant amount of time and resources into ensuring that you become a desirable woman, ensuring that you make a profitable marriage, ensuring that the most powerful men on this earth will want you.” “I don’t care! ” Konan screamed back, clenching her fists. “I don’t want any of that, I don’t care about any of that! I just want to—”
Her father continued as though she hadn’t said a word. 
“I am ensuring that you are capable of carrying yourself like a woman of high value; elegant, pure, and well-educated, even if you choose to spend your days wasting that training, tearing about like a hallion, but I will not have you lowering your worth through this teenage willfulness!”
He forced her back into her chair at the desk, gripping her shoulders and pointing his finger in her face.

“When the day comes when you must meet with your destiny, you will NOT have this unsightly mutilation. It shall be removed, along with any others.”

“Mutilation!?”

He narrowed his eyes. “Konan, you must be a good girl. Your body is to remain untouched, unblemished, and unviolated until you are eighteen, is that clear?”

“What are you talking about!?”
“Is that clear ?”
Konan stared up at him, jaw clenched, furious tears welling in her eyes.

He stared back, then released her, adjusting his cufflinks. He walked around his desk, dress shoes crunching on the broken glass in the carpet, and sat back down, slicing open an envelope with his letter opener.

“Konan?” he prompted coldly, reading the letter like she wasn’t there.

“Yes.” Konan said, hating him.

“Yes..?”

She dropped her gaze, reaching for the icy shell she wore around him. She tucked her hair behind her ear as she sat up straight. She slipped a polite smile on her face as she readjusted her skirt and let her gaze go flat, burying her outrage deep inside her. Staying angry would do her no good at all, she knew.

“Yes, sir,” she said sweetly.
“There’s my good girl,” he said, smiling at her. “Your reputation is my reputation, Konan. And I cannot have you putting that at risk, do you understand?”
“Yes, sir. I do.”

—
“So… anything else?” Konan asked, shifting uncomfortably.“I mean, I have detention again, with Kisame.”“I’m sorry. They found out it was you guys there?”“Yeah, but it's seriously all good,” he said with a grin, then his expression shifted. “Both of those guys have been expelled from the school.”Konan stared. “Really?”“They’re never coming back,” he said reassuringly.She pressed her hands to her face, trying not to cry. But she was so relieved. She felt lighter, closer to normal.“Zaku won’t be arrested unless you press charges, though,” Pain said. “It’s up to you.”“I couldn’t do it anonymously?”Pain shook his head. “I seriously doubt it. Plus, you’re still a minor, so you’d probably need one of your parents there to sign any kind of witness statement. Your name couldn’t be published, and neither would his, but…” He shrugged. “Up to you.”Konan frowned. “Okay, I’ll think about it. Thanks for telling me.” “Anytime.”She teetered on the edge of reaching for a hug. It felt a little weird; he had been holding her for most of the previous night, curled together in her bed, totally naturally, and today they were back to normal, back to three feet apart. After a brief hesitation, she stepped forwards and he opened his arms for her immediately, smiling slightly, wrapping her in a soft hug and holding her close to him, tucking her head under his chin, easy as he had last night. “Thanks,” she whispered again.—After dinner and the movie, Konan went to bed and lay awake for a long time, mulling things over, unable to get away from the heavy certainty in the pit of her stomach: that she had majorly, irrevocably fucked up.She couldn’t file a police report without telling her parents. Her mom couldn’t leave the hospital, so it would have to be her dad. Even if she somehow got her mom to make the long trip, or even if she were able to file the report at a station closer to her, her mother would tell her father.Her father would demand to know why the school hadn’t contacted him.
I shouldn’t have let Pain change the number. I should’ve just let things happen as they were supposed to. I’d have had to leave, but at least…
Expelled or not, without an official report, Zaku could easily go on with his life doing the exact same things, and much worse, to other girls. He would have no criminal record.
I have to report him… But my dad could sue the school or something… And I have no idea what he’d do to me…
She stayed up worrying for hours, tossing and turning until the early hours of the morning.—Pain lay awake in his bed, staring at the ceiling in the dark.It had been a long day. And a pretty humbling one In the morning, he’d felt pretty good, all things considered; as completely fucking horrible as the circumstances had been, he’d been happy to be able to be there for Konan, happy to have had deep conversations with her, to have been asked to stay the night, to have held her as she slept. He’d got an ego boost and some serious long-lasting elation, knowing for sure she liked him back; figured when it seemed like she was doing better, when time had passed and she gave him a signal or something, he’d ask her out. No problem.But things had gone haywire from the minute Sasori had asked her if she was flexible. 
“How’s your core strength?”
She couldn’t have known, surely , that that line was going to be on repeat in his brain all day. Core strength. Core strength.  That was incredibly sexual, right, I’m not crazy? I’m a red-blooded teenage guy, how else am I gonna take that!? She was basically asking how long I can go for , right? And she had been giving him a little challenging look, quirking an eyebrow at him, biting her lower lip as she did when she was teasing. 
Come on…

—-

“You okay? Did I hurt you at all?” 
His brain wasn’t fucking working. He had barely recovered from the impact of her slamming into him, the weight of her, from her fingers in his hair, from her thighs around his neck, from the hot breath of her laughter, the smell of her, wrapped up in her. Her flushed face and sparkling amber eyes swam in front of him. “All good,” he heard himself saying. She smiled and he wobbled his way over to Sasori, who was shaking his head, laughing at him. “Is she trying to kill me!?” Pain whispered, eyes wide as he slumped into the chair next to him, heart pounding like a bass drum.“Neck pain?” Sasori whispered back sarcastically.Pain shook his head and ran both his hands through his hair. Every nerve in his body felt electric, buzzing. “Bro … I’m fucking knees weak, arms spaghetti over here,” he breathed, leaning his head on Sasori’s shoulder. “Did you see that!?”“I would’ve just fucking nutted right there,” Sasori said, grinning, flipping through the cash in his wallet. “I bet Kakuzu won’t accept an I.O.U…”Pain laughed breathily, running a hand through his hair, blinking fast to try and reconnect his brain to the rest of him. “Man…”—As he waited on the loveseat outside the changeroom, Pain was biting the inside of his cheek, trying not to listen to Sasori describe the various tangles of thongs and bras he had persuaded Konan to try on for him. He had been torn on accompanying them all to the swimsuit store, rather than heading straight to the pool hall with Itachi on the others. He had known this was going to be fucking torture, but he was human; he wanted to see, too. And he didn’t want to abandon Konan to Sasori’s mercy, even though she could handle herself just fine. Sasori could get carried away, and it wasn’t like Deidara or Hidan were exactly good influences on him.He was trying to take deep, calming breaths without looking like he was having to take deep, calming breaths before she had even appeared in a swimsuit. His imagination was completely running away with him, and he could feel the back of his neck heating up, remembering the weight of her on his shoulders, her hands in his hair… 
Oh god, I’m pathetic. I’m a fucking degenerate. I can’t look at her… 
He was about to get up to leave, muttering something about being hungry, when the change room door swung open and Konan stepped out, looking unimpressed.“This counts as sexual harassment, right?” she asked, hand on her hip.She was wearing a hot pink one-piece that showed off a lot of leg and then some, curving all the way to the top of her hips, like the swimsuits from Baywatch. A huge cut-out in the centre showed her stomach and belly ring. Pain was working so hard to keep his eyes on her face. After Hidan had asked about the bruises on her arms and she’d headed back into the room, Pain exhaled, realizing he’d been holding his breath. He could tell Sasori was trying to catch his eye, and closed his, rubbing the bridge of his nose. 
She’s gonna kill me. Oh my fucking god.
When Konan came out in the second swimsuit, Pain nearly lost it completely. He wolf-whistled her jokingly with the others, and then sat with his nails digging into his thighs.She was holding her arms around her stomach, but as she argued with Sasori she moved them and Pain’s eyes snapped immediately to the black string which crossed over itself right in the soft part of her waist, pulling her in and digging into the skin like rope. And as soon as the rope thought had occurred to him, he was completely lost to any logical conversation for about five full minutes. The bikini bra had no cups, so the fabric triangles covering her chest just showed her natural shape. Without any padding, he could just see the indents of her nipple rings through the fabric. His breath caught in his throat.
Oh my fucking god, I shouldn’t be allowed in public. Think about something else, think about something else…
The others were arguing. He was barely listening. Konan was turning around. The bikini bottom was just a black thong. She had a fucking amazing ass. He was biting down on the inside of his cheek, trying to focus on what Sasori was saying. Tattoo . He stared, unseeing for a second, and then with blazing clarity, at the small cherry tattoo on her right butt cheek. “Oh my god ,” he whispered, covering his mouth with a hand and closing his eyes.The one she finally chose was only slightly less eye-popping. A black string bikini. Pain was giving himself a very stern mental talking-to about how he was not allowed to imagine himself pulling the strings. As Konan changed back into her clothes, Sasori slung an arm around Pain’s shoulders and leaned into him. “How are you doing?” he asked, grinning, unscrewing the cap of his water bottle. “Hey, remember when you thought it would be funny… for me to start coming to lunch after having a shower, or after working out?” Pain said lightly, leaning back in the chair, eyes closed.“Yeah?”“And I did it, and it was really fun to see Konan’s reaction? And you said she thought I was hot… And that was like a nice ego boost for me?” “Yeah…?” Pain sighed. “I am a fucking worm at her feet, man.”Sasori choked on his sip of water, laughing.—-Pain punched his pillow into a more comfortable shape and rolled onto his side. He tried to focus on what they’d been talking about, on the worried crease on Konan’s forehead when she had asked if she could file a police report anonymously.
Maybe I fucked up? I shouldn’t have changed her dad’s number. Will she be able to make a report? Maybe Ino could do something… she seemed pretty invested in helping Konan avoid trouble… Said she was just being nice, but that’s really far to go just for that… 
Konan smirking as she slid all the way down in the splits flashed before his eyes.He shook his head, rolled over again.
Fucking god… Okay, how to solve this problem… First we need to see if Konan actually does want to make a report, and if she does, come up with a believable reason the school didn’t contact her dad, or reason for a delay…
The outline of her nipple rings poking through the black fabric cups of the string bikini… Konan turning around to head back into the changeroom, black strings criss-crossing her torso, cutting gently into her skin, pressing into the flesh of her waist, zig-zagging across the delicate greyscale angel wings tattooed across her back. The black thong swallowed in the curve of her ass cheeks, the little cherry tattoo, and he wanted to fucking bite it… 
Okay. Tomorrow… Talk to Konan. Police report.
Konan looking at him from the end of the hallway, checking in, reassuring. Then the burning look of her running towards him, her body disappearing down then flipping up then fucking slamming into him as he braced for her, her legs sailing either side of his head as she folded herself around him, her legs crossing behind his neck, her lower stomach pressing into his face before she fell back an inch, his hands holding her thighs, feeling the softness over the hard muscle, the heat of her, his breath hot right there as she laughed, breathing down on him, arms wrapped around his head, fingers in his hair. 
“How’s your core strength?”

Oh my fucking god…
Pain closed his eyes, pulling off the blanket as his body temperature rose, dropping his hands from where they had been clutching his hair, sliding one down, biting down on the inside of his cheek as he sunk fully into a fantasy, all the images blazing in his memory blending together, intoxicatingly, maddeningly vivid.The scent of her, jasmine body wash and vanilla shampoo, her body soft and curving into him, his arm reaching around her waist to pull her in closer, roll her onto her back, kissing her face, watching her reactions as his hands skim down her body, grabbing and pulling her ass cheek up, hand sliding inside her thong, kissing down her neck as her legs wrap around him, pulling him in. Her silver nipple rings, the curve of her breasts, her soft stomach, the cold metal of her belly ring, thin black strings crossing over her waist, pulling tight into her skin, making a groove he follows with his mouth, and his fingers pull at the string ties of her bikini bottom and she squirms beneath him, laughing, her thighs so soft, his arms sliding under them, around, lifting, hands gripping them, fingers digging into the flesh as he slides down and exhales hot against her pussy and she wraps her legs around his neck, her fingers twisting in his hair, and she pulls him right into her and he’s opening his mouth, and his tongue is wet and so is she , and she’s grinding against his face, and his whole entire body is throbbing, fucking aching for her…
FFfffuuuuuuuuuuuckkkk……

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

It was still dark when Konan woke up. As soon as she registered that she was awake, all the thoughts and worries from the night before came skittering back into her brain, and she couldn’t focus on any single one, but she also couldn’t fall asleep again, so she gave up and staggered to the bathroom to have a shower.She seemed to be the first one awake in the boy’s hall, and was too early for breakfast, so she wandered the hallways, chewing anxiously at her thumbnail, still rolling the problem over and over in her head, not seeing a solution. I can’t file a police report without telling dad what happened, and then he’ll find out what Pain did, and then who knows what could happen. And he’ll send me away, might keep me with him with a tutor again. And he probably wouldn’t let me text any of my friends… So I can’t file. But if I don’t, what if Zaku does something like this again? What if he goes farther next time? What if something awful happened, and it was in the newspaper? I’d feel horrible. So I have to do something, but… She was so lost in her thoughts she almost walked straight into Ino, who had appeared from around a corner, wearing a baby blue sweater, leggings, and earphones. She looked like she was about to go exercise.“Sorry,” Konan said, backing up a step and smiling automatically.Ino took out her earphones, smiling back. “No worries, Konan! I’m glad I ran into you, actually.”She leaned closer, a concerned line between her brows. “How are you doing?” she asked in a quiet voice.Konan looked down. She didn’t want to have to answer how she was doing ever again, but Ino had actually been there, and if she was right, had actually told Shizune that it was her who Zaku had attacked…“I’m okay.”“Yeah?”Konan gave her a half-smile and shrugged. “I have a load of bruises, but they’ll go away. And my head is fine. It’s definitely bruised, but the cuts are scabbed over,” she said, touching the back of her head reflexively. “And some scratches, but they’re fading, too.”Ino tutted sympathetically. “Yikes. Well, please let me know if I can do anything, okay? Like, if you ever need a distraction to get out of class or something, if you’re not feeling it, I can just like, jump up and scream there’s a huge bee in the corner or something. Just hit me up about it.” She winked.Konan laughed. “Thanks. I mean, same goes.” She pulled out her new phone, scrolling to her contacts. “I can give you my number?”Ino’s eyes fell on the phone and she frowned a little. “You got a new phone, hey?”“You’re pretty observant,” she said, giving an impressed little laugh. Ino immediately rolled her eyes, giggling. “It’s bright blue, Konan! Anybody with eyes would notice. Wasn’t your old one black or something?”“True,” Konan smiled. Ino pulled out her own phone, which had a glittery periwinkle phone case and a dangling angel charm, and they exchanged numbers. “Okay, well text me!” Ino said, turning to go with a wave. Konan bit her lips, thinking, then impulsively reached out and grabbed Ino’s hand. “Wait! Could I… talk to you about something? I kind of need some advice.”Ino turned back, looking curious. “Sure,” she said. “Want somewhere private?” Konan nodded, and Ino led her down a few corridors until they reached a bench at the end of a hallway. It was a dead end by two classrooms that weren’t being used this term, and the overhead light had gone out. Very private, especially at 7am.They sat together on the bench, Ino looking curious and expectant, Konan twisting the hem of her skirt in her hands, a bit nervous. She trusted Ino; but she also didn’t really know her that well.“So, on the day that it happened,” Konan began, glancing at Ino, who nodded in understanding, “I know you talked to Shizune, right? I wanted to say thanks.”“Yeah, no worries.”“Did you… did you say it was you?”Ino nodded. “I did.”“Can I ask why?”Ino paused, pursing her lips, looking like she was considering what to say. “I thought… that it might be helpful. I didn’t want you to have to deal with all that unless you wanted to. Like, I can always go back to Shizune with you and say I lied, you can say it was you, no harm done. But…” She shrugged. “I know what it’s like to have to deal with school admin shit when you like, can’t handle it on top of everything else.”“Weren’t your parents freaked out, if Shizune called them?”Ino grinned. “I called them right before she did to give them a heads up. They’re chill. I kind of do this stuff for my friends a lot.” When Konan stared, Ino quickly backtracked. “I mean, not this exact thing, thank god… But like, I cover for Sakura a lot if she’s skipping. Or if she has really bad period cramps or something, I’ll skip and head to the village to get her pizza and chocolate, that kind of thing. So they’re used to getting calls about me missing class, or whatever.”“Aw! You’re a really good friend…”Ino giggled. “Aw, that’s nice! Thanks, ladybird.” She rolled her shoulders backwards, rubbing at a tense muscle absent-mindedly. “Anyway, you wanted advice?”“Yeah, so… I really didn’t want my dad to find out what happened, even if Shizune reported that it wasn’t me who was like…”“Yeah.”“But, I still was hurt and everything. If my dad heard anything about that, he’d have taken me out of school, and might have… I dunno… sued, or something. It would have been a really big deal.”Ino nodded. “Sure.”“Pain switched the emergency contact on my file on Shizune’s laptop when she wasn’t looking to his number instead of my dad’s.”“Woah. That was smart.”Konan shook her head with a sigh. “Yeah, but… I can’t file a police report, because they’d need to talk to my parents, and if they that, then my dad would know that the school didn’t contact him about this, and that would be an even bigger shitshow. And I kind of feel…”Konan swallowed around a hard lump in her throat. “I feel like I’ve really fucked up, on top of everything else, because… like, I have to report it, right? What if he does it again? He won’t have a record or anything, or anything on his school transcript or whatever, other than like, fighting…”Konan rubbed her eyes. She was exhausted, and she’d been so easy to cry the whole weekend. She was sick of it, sick of everything.“I didn’t think about it at the time, I was being stupid… I just couldn’t… I didn’t want to talk about it, and I couldn’t even think about dealing with my dad on top of everything else, it would have been a complete nightmare.”“Hmm.” Ino nodded, looking sympathetic, but clearly thinking hard. “Okay… I might be able to do something to help.”Konan snorted. “What are you, my fairy godmother? You can’t do anything.”Ino gave a dry laugh, her eyes focused in the middle distance, still thinking. “Not a fairy godmother. But my dad knows people in law enforcement, and he probably knows someone at the local station…”Konan frowned. “Seriously?” When Ino nodded, she shook her head and continued, “Okay, but I’d still have to file the report, and legally my parent would have to be there.”Ino shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not. The important thing is the information in your statement, not who you are. We need to get photos of your injuries before they fully heal though. I don’t suppose you took pictures on the night, hey?”Konan shook her head, a little dumbfounded at how quickly Ino had started putting together a plan.“Okay. Well, take photos today. And think about what you want to do. I’ll talk to my dad, see if we could work something out. If you decide to file a report, just text me. I can set it up, no biggie.”Konan smiled. “Okay. Thanks, Ino.”Ino gave her a one-armed hug and got up, putting her earphones back in. “Anytime, chickadee. I’m heading for a run. See you!” And she headed back down the hall, platinum ponytail swaying behind her. Konan shook her head, marvelling at how chill Ino had been about the whole thing, and also at how within twenty minutes, her unsolvable problem had become seventy percent more solvable. 
Who the hell is Ino’s dad, Don Corleone!?
When the cafeteria opened, Konan was one of the first inside, heading over to the coffee machine and filling up one of the big mugs. Problem number one was apparently under control somehow… which meant now she could obsess over problem number two: swimming.Setting aside the fun she’d had with the boys yesterday, and the fact that the bikini she’d ended up with wasn’t half bad, if still not what she’d have chosen for herself… she had barely even worried about the fact that she couldn’t swim. At all. She wasn’t worried about getting bad grades, after talking to Guy, but she was worried about being made fun of while she sat in the shallow end, splashing around like a baby while everyone else swam like olympians…She imagined herself sanding in knee-high water, holding an inner tube around herself, watching sadly as Pain, Hidan, Sasori, and the other kids swam in the deep end, a rainbow appearing behind them as they leapt, glittering, out of the water in graceful arcs like a pod of dolphins as harp music played in the background…She snorted with laughter. What the hell am I imagining!? “Laughing all by yourself, huh? The first sign of madness…” Sasori’s voice said behind her. She looked around to find her friend pouring himself a coffee, looking up at her with a teasing smile. “I thought the first sign of madness was being friends with you?” she asked, tossing him a sugar packet.“Ouch,” he said sarcastically. “What are you doing up so early?”Konan shrugged as they headed to grab trays and get breakfast. “I slept really badly. Just worried about stuff.”“What kind of stuff?”“Swimming.”“Worried you’re gonna drown or something?” Sasori asked, grabbing a slice of banana bread.Konan frowned. “I mean, I wasn’t … there’s a lifeguard, right?” she asked, choosing a blueberry muffin.Sasori snorted. “As if. ” “What do you mean ‘as if’!? What the hell am I going to do?”Sasori patted her on the back as they walked to their usual table. “Hey, don’t worry. I’ll give you mouth to mouth.”“I might choke on my vomit.”Sasori laughed, sitting down. “You’ll be fine! Guy will pencil dive in the water and rescue you. Then he’ll give you mouth to mouth. Won’t that be nice?”Konan rolled her eyes. “You’re a horrible little man, aren’t you?”“ Little!?” Konan laughed at him. “Did you guys do swimming last year? What’s it like?”Sasori leaned over and took the first bite of her blueberry muffin. “Vengeance,” he explained with a full mouth, then swallowed. “Uh, it’s fine. We do a lot of laps, different strokes and stuff. Usually we get free time, too.” “Does any of that happen in like… waist-deep water?” Konan asked.Sasori shook his head. When he saw her disappointed face, he smiled genuinely and ruffled her hair. “It’ll be okay. You’ll probably have floaties. And we’ll swim over to hang out with you.”“Yeah?”“Of course. You worried about everyone laughing at you as you lie around like a beached whale?”Konan bit her lips in annoyance. “I mean… not in so many words…”Sasori winked as Deidara came over to the table, yawning and rubbing a shadowed eye with one hand, carrying his breakfast tray with the other. “It’ll be fine,” he said reassuringly.Deidara sat down and immediately put his head on Sasori’s shoulder, looking like he was trying very hard to go back to sleep. The other boys filed in slowly in groups. Pain was the last to arrive, looking like he hadn’t slept for a week. He didn’t get any food, just two full mugs of black coffee. “Rough night?” Konan asked him, staring as he drained the first mug in one.He shrugged and muttered something incomprehensible. Konan watched him, slightly concerned. When he looked up and met her gaze, noticing she was still looking at him, he blushed. 
What is going on with him?

Also… he’s so fucking cute.
 All through the morning classes, Konan was thinking about swimming, despite Sasori’s reassurances. It wasn’t just her inability to swim that was bothering her, or the bikini Sasori had chosen… It was Hidan’s reaction when she had come out in a swimsuit, yelling, ‘What the hell are those bruises!?’
Everyone’s going to see, in the bikini… Ugh.
Even though her uniform covered everything, especially as she was wearing tights with it, Konan couldn’t help wishing she was still in the hoodie she had worn all weekend. She didn’t want to think about her body, didn’t want anybody looking at her body. Trying on swimsuits had been kind of shitty enough, but it was with her friends, not random classmates. She looked up frequently in class, turning her head as subtly as she could, trying to see if it looked like anybody was looking at her more than was normal. She had been worried about staring, as had happened when Pain and Hidan had punched Zaku a few weeks back. But not even they were getting any weird looks. 
It seems like nobody knows what happened… Thank god. 
She had been worried that somehow the word could have spread, if anybody had seen her heading to Shizune’s office afterwards, or had heard anything outside the bathroom at the time… She breathed a sigh of relief. Then realized with horror that all of a sudden, everyone was staring at her. Kakashi had apparently asked her a question and she had no idea what the hell it had been. 
Fuck.
By the time gym class came around, Konan was ready to call it on the day. She was exhausted. Instead of heading to the gym as usual, she followed Hidan and the others to the lowest level of the school, where the pool apparently was. She headed into the girl’s changeroom with Ino, Sakura, and the others, finding a changing stall and locking the door. She took off her uniform, preparing herself for the certain doom of having to walk out to the pool in front of everybody… in front of all the boys in the class… 
…In this stupid fucking bikini… At least it’s not that string nightmare. But I won’t even be able to hang out with the others, I’ll be all alone in the kiddie pool or something… 
She took the bikini out of her bag miserably and started tying it on. It occurred to her that she might as well use the opportunity to take photos of the bruises, like Ino had suggested, just in case. She took out her phone and took some selfies, doing her best to crop her face out, of the large bruises on her arms, the many smaller bruises on her legs, the scratches on her upper thighs which had almost healed, and the scabs and red bruises on her scalp. When she was finished, she shoved her uniform into her bag, and stuffed it into a locker. She smiled tightly at Ino and Sakura as they passed, Ino in a purple bikini, Sakura in a red one-piece. She followed behind, dragging her feet like she was heading for the gallows.
This is going to fucking suck….
Might Guy was standing right outside, facing the turquoise water, with a whistle around his neck, and a green full-body wetsuit on.
Uh… we’re not at the beach…
“Konan. I have your floaties.”“Oh! Um, thank… you….” Her voice tailed off as her eyes fell on a huge pile of float bands and lifejackets, all covered in a variation of sickeningly cute cartoons. “Are those… for kids?”“Unisex, unisize. Help yourself, however many you think are necessary to keep you safe in these treacherous waters.”She couldn’t tell if he was making fun of her.“Okay. Uh, is there a shallow end of the pool?” she asked, looking around. “Yep.”About a dozen other students were already splashing around, laughing and messing about in what looked like the deep end, which had floating lane dividers. An extra-long divider marked a third of the pool as the shallow end. There were wide stairs, a slanting tiled floor, and a mini diving board on one side.“Should I just sit over there, then?” Konan asked.“Sit on the side of the deep end, watch the others swim,” Guy said. “You can splash around in the shallow end when they do their lengths, but try pick up tips by observing the others.” He blew a whistle, making her jump out of her skin, and marched over to the group of boys who were trying to sit on the dividers to tell them off. Konan reached glumly for the cutesy arm floaties.A few minutes later, Konan walked miserably over to Hidan, Pain, and Sasori, who were hanging out by the edge of the deep pool. Sasori and Hidan were treading water and laughing while Pain was standing on the edge, pretending to step on Sasori’s head.Konan bit her lip absentmindedly as her eyes skimmed up Pain’s legs, taking in his calves, his surprisingly thick, muscular thighs, the curve of his ass, his shoulders, the lean, graceful lines of his arms… “You look like such a dad ,” Sasori said, dodging Pain’s foot and splashing him.“Fucking Magnum P.I. over here,” Hidan said. “What are those, hot pants?”“You’re just jealous, pencil-legs,” Pain said.“How dare you…”His trunks were endearingly dorky, shorter than usual, ending mid-thigh, cutting across his thick muscle.Konan turned pink as she walked over to them, as soon as she realized Sasori was watching her check Pain out from behind. 
Fuck!
Pain followed Sasori’s gaze and turned around, smiling when he saw her, and then really smiling when he saw all her floaties, biting his lip and plainly trying not to laugh.Konan blushed harder and lowered her gaze — right down the line of his chest piercings to his happy trail, ending in the waistband of his short green trunks…
Damn…
Unlike Pain, Hidan and Sasori didn’t bother trying not to laugh when they saw her. They fully lost it, Hidan even pointing at her like someone had just thrown a pie in her face.“You look so fucking stupid—” he howled before Pain shoved his head below the water with his foot. “Don’t listen to him,” he said, “You look cute.”“Yeah fucking right she does,” Sasori choked. “Why thank you,” Konan said, rolling her eyes. She was wearing a light blue life jacket which was covered in pictures of Hello Kitty in scuba gear; she had a pink My Little Pony innertube around her waist, and yellow Caillou armband floaties.She knew she looked fucking ridiculous… but on the plus side, the arm floaties covered the big bruises on her biceps really effectively.“Please, Konan, please jump in here,” Hidan said, emerging from the water, his voice cracking with how much he was trying not to laugh. “I really wanna see if you even like, touch the water with all that shit on.”Konan looked apprehensively at the water. “I don’t know… that’s really deep…” “I promise to save you if you manage to sink even with all that shit on,” Sasori said, grinning. “Jump! Jump! Jump!” Sasori and Hidan started cheering. “We won’t let you drown,” Pain said reassuringly when he saw Konan glance around to see that Guy was still yelling at the group of younger boys, not paying attention at all.“Ugh…. okay….”Pain patted her on the shoulder and jumped in, joining Sasori and Hidan.With some difficulty, Konan crouched and then sat down at the edge of the pool, putting her legs in the water. She could barely touch the floor with her hands, what with the floaties and the innertube, and her friends watching silently, all trying so hard not to laugh it looked like they were experiencing intense mental anguish, were not helping.After a full minute of scooching, Konan’s butt slipped off the edge of the pool, and she sank down with a gasp. And then came to a complete stop; the width of her lifejacket didn’t fit inside the innertube, so she hit the innertube and didn’t sink lower. The only part of her actually in the water was her legs to her mid-thighs, so she was floating, super top-heavy, for about three seconds, until she abruptly tilted forwards, belly flopping face-down in the water, her butt stuck up in the air because of the inner tube, barely able to paddle her arms because of the life jacket-floatie combo.Before she had quite realized what was going on, a pair of strong hands pulled her upright again by the loop on the back of her life jacket, and Pain smiled at her as she emerged, coughing. He floated her back to the side of the pool and let her push off against him to get back onto it. “I think those floaties are actually making things worse ,” he said, ignoring Hidan and Sasori, who were laughing their heads off again.“Maybe,” Konan said, wiping her eyes and pushing her wet hair back. “Girl, you weren’t kidding… you can’t fucking swim at all , can you!?” Sasori said, wiping his eyes and shaking his head.“I said I can’t!” she said, annoyed. “What the hell happened to ‘I promise to save you’ !?”She took the life jacket off; without it, she could float okay in the innertube, her arms over the side for balance, and the arm floaties to cover her bruises. She was still much happier sitting on the side, though. Guy started the class.“Alright swimmers,” he said, giving a sharp blow on his whistle to get everyone’s attention, “And non-swimmer,” he said, nodding at Konan as an afterthought, “We’re going to do laps! Not you, non-swimmer. You stay here.”“Yeah, yeah,” Konan muttered, feeling herself going red as everyone else in the class stared at her, some giggling.“Swimmers, laps! I’ll divide you into groups. One group per lane, two lengths per stroke. Front crawl, back crawl, breaststroke, side stroke. Go, go, go!”With a lot of whistling and pointing, he got the others organized, and a few minutes later, everyone else was swimming up and down the lanes, bobbing in and out of the water. Konan splashed her legs in front of her, bored. After about twenty minutes of watching everyone else swimming back and forth, Konan got up and headed for the shallow pool. She entertained herself by spinning around in her innertube, staring up at the ceiling until she got dizzy, then started doggy paddling back and forth slowly. She was completely bored out of her tree until finally Guy blew his whistle again and announced the start of races. Konan walked over to the deep end to watch. “Here, non-swimmer,” Guy called, tossing a dry-erase marker at Konan, “You can write down the fastest lap times,” he said, pointing at a whiteboard by the side of the pool.  So much for learning to swim, Konan thought, but at least she had something to do. She stepped out of the innertube and walked over to the whiteboard.“Okay everyone. Four swimmers at a time, front stroke. Fastest time of each group will be written down by my non-swimming assistant,” Guy announced, pointing at Konan.“Hey, Vanna White!” Sasori called to her.Konan laughed and walked back and forth, posing in front of the whiteboard like the letters lady on Wheel of Fortune as he cheered.“Nice floaties, Vanna!” Hidan called and several others laughed. Konan jokingly gave him the finger.“Top four fastest times of the class will then swim to determine the ultimate champion of the day!” Guy said, raising his fists in the air. “Who’s ready!?”There was a slightly unenthusiastic cheer from the swimmers. Konan, from the other end of the pool, gave a loud wooo!  “That’s what I’m talking about!” Guy said, grinning and pointing at her. “Alrighty , everybody out, and line up by the lanes…”The next fifteen minutes involved a hell of a lot of shrill whistling from Guy and chaotic splashing up and down the pool. Konan scribbled down times for the winners of each heat, and then erased all but the four fastest when everyone had gone, narrowing it down to Pain, Sasuke, Suigetsu and Sakura. Guy blew his whistle, and Konan cheered with the others as the top four dove into the pool, emerging fifteen feet later to grab a breath and swimming furiously for the other side, where they flipped over, pushed off the wall, and barrelled back to their starting point. Suigetsu came first, followed by Pain, Sakura, then Sasuke.Konan wrote the results on the board and went to join the others. Guy blew his whistle again, gave Suigetsu a mini rubber duck wearing sunglasses as a prize, and announced they would have free time for the last half hour of class. Hidan suggested they play chicken, so they headed to the deeper end of the shallow pool, where Konan climbed on Pain’s shoulders, and (after about five minutes of bickering) Sasori climbed on Hidan’s shoulders, and they started trying to push each other off, trash talking and laughing over each other. Konan managed to push Sasori off Hidan and Pain spun her around as she cheered. Then they headed to the deep pool to play Marco Polo. Konan put her innertube on so she didn’t sink, but she was so slow that she was Marco for about ten minutes straight until Pain took pity on her and just didn’t move for a whole minute until she managed to paddle her way over to him.In the last couple minutes of class, Hidan suggested a race between himself and Pain, with Konan on Pain’s back as a handicap. Konan tossed her innertube to the side and held onto Pain’s shoulders, her knees holding his waist. Sasori sat on the edge of the pool, leaning back  and cheering them on absent-mindedly. Guy blew his whistle again as Hidan reached the finish line first with room to spare. “Wrap it up! Head back to the changerooms, swimmers! And non-swimmer…”Hidan got out of the pool, cheering loudly, and headed to the boy’s changeroom with Sasori.Pain swam Konan to the edge of the pool, where she slid off him and climbed up onto the side. “Sorry for slowing you down,” she grinned. “How dare you not be weightless and create no drag.”“Oh, my innertube!” Konan exclaimed, realizing it was still laying on the other side of the pool. Pain grinned, turning. “Shall we?” “I can just walk ,” she laughed, realizing he was offering to swim her across again.“Suit yourself. It’s not every day you get a ride from the second-fastest swimmer in a mixed-age co-ed art school gym class…” Pain said coolly, teasing her. “Oh fine. Thank you. ” she said, sliding back in the water and sliding her legs either side of him again, her hands on his shoulders. “Mush!”“I’m not a sled dog, ” Pain snorted as he kicked off from the side. “On Dasher! On Cancer! On, uh, Pietro!” Konan cheered as they streamed through the water towards the other side.“What the hell is that!?” Pain said laughing.“Santa’s reindeer.”“No it’s fucking not!!”“Hey! Less talking, more swimming! We’ll be late for dinner!” “Dinner’s an hour away…”“And yet here we are, still in the middle of the pool…” Konan said, grinning as Pain laughed.“Trash talk from Konan, huh? Alright, alright…” He suddenly picked up speed, changing from a leisurely breaststroke to a front crawl. Konan squeaked and tightened her grip on his shoulders as they twisted with each stroke. They were going so fast she could feel the water pulling at her. Pulling at the strings of her top.Which were loosening.Which were undoing, streaming behind her in the water.
Oh my god, oh my god.
“Wait, wait, wait!” she said, letting go of his shoulders with one hand and trying to reach behind her, grab the ties of her bikini top, but the floatie created a four inch block between her arm and her back and she couldn’t bend her arm any further. Pain didn’t hear her, continuing his front crawl, hands ripping through the water, legs kicking behind her. Konan held his waist with her legs and let go of his shoulders with both hands, trying to hold the tie at her neck in place, but this turned out to be a terrible idea – the water resistance hit her waist as her weight shifted back, making her sink backwards and start to slip off him. Still going fast, the water rushed into her, and the next thing she knew, her bikini top was gone.  Konan slipped off of Pain with a gasp, and started kicking, panicked, as she sunk to her neck, her upper arms floating, but the rest of her definitely not. As she bobbed and splashed, she reached behind herself desperately, trying to feel for her top in the water. Pain had stopped, turned around, and was swimming back to her.“Why’d you let go?” he asked, reaching out for her.“Wait, wait, my top is gone!!” she hissed, reaching for Pain’s shoulders so she could stop kicking like a drowning rabbit.“Wait, what!?” he said, staring at her, his eyes flicking down automatically.“ Hey!” Konan whapped him on the shoulder, trying to block his view with a floatie. “This isn’t a peep show, it’s an emergency!”Pain was plainly trying not to laugh. “Okay, let’s get you to the edge first,” he said.She held his shoulders, pressing against him to try stay covered, and then abruptly raising herself up an inch, realizing she had been pressing her breasts against his back.Once at the other side, Pain grabbed the edge of the pool, panting.“Okay, sorry– what happened!?” “Um, my top came undone and fell off! Can you go get it!?”Pain slowly turned around, Konan still holding onto him, but keeping distance between her torso and his, until Pain could see the rest of the pool. “I guess it doesn’t float, huh?”“Uh… I guess not…” she said, looking at the empty surface of the water. “Okay. You… sit on the edge of the pool. Um… cover yourself, I guess,” Pain said, “And I’ll dive for your top. It might take me a couple tries… I don’t have goggles.” “Okay,” Konan said. “Thank you!” She let go of him and lifted herself out of the water. “All good?” Pain asked after a moment.“All good,” Konan said, her hands pressed to her breasts. He turned around and looked at her for a second, then snorted with laughter.  “Hey!” she said, laughing, too. “It’s not funny!”“You’re ridiculous. How did this happen!?”“You were swimming too fast!”“Right, it’s my fault,” he said, rolling his eyes with a grin as he turned back to face the pool. He kicked off the side and dove beneath the water. Konan bit her lips nervously, looking around. She stood up and hurried over to get her innertube, stepping into it and pulling it up so it covered her chest. She saw Pain’s head break the water thirty feet into the pool. He took a breath and dove down again.  I guess it’s hard to find, if he doesn’t have goggles… Konan thought, drumming her fingers nervously on the inner tube. She walked back over to the edge of the pool.There were voices echoing from the changerooms. Getting louder. Konan sat down and put her legs in the water, splashing her feet anxiously.
What will I do if someone comes? Classes are over… Wait, do we have a swim team!?
Almost in answer to her question, a stream of boys, all in matching black spandex swim shorts, spilled out of the changeroom. They were laughing and chatting amongst themselves, but they were heading for the opposite end of the pool. A couple of them were looking at her, apparently confused. Konan immediately slipped down into the water with a squeak to hide herself. If her arms were fully propped over the edges of the innertube, her chest would have been visible, so she slid her arms inside the ring, her hands holding her breasts again, relying on her arm floaties to stop her from sinking, reaching to grab the edge of the pool from underneath the innertube.She couldn’t see anything except the bright pink inside of the innertube, and just had to hope that Pain would find her top soon… if not…
A walk of shame with a huge inflatable bandeau… Fabulous…
But the next minute, she heard splashing and Pain’s voice as he swam back towards her.“Konan?“Yeah?”“Are you… where are you?”“Where do you think ?” she asked, confused, before realizing he probably couldn’t see her, as the only thing above water was her head, which was hidden in the My Little Pony floating doughnut. She kicked upwards as hard as she could until she was able to peer over the top of the tube, and she saw him grinning as he swam over.“What are you doing?”“What’s it look like I’m doing!?” she asked, a little hysterically.“It looks like you’re trying to drown,” Pain said, laughing, his voice getting louder.“Well, the swim team came out!” she said defensively. “Did you find it?”“Yeah.” “Hooray!”The inner tube sank into the water as Pain leaned his arms on it, catching his breath, holding her top in one hand, looking down at her.“Hey, hey, hey!!!” Konan exclaimed, shoulders to her ears, hands on her boobs, fucking Caillou floaties squashed into her chin, trying to cover herself. Pain turned his head so he wasn’t looking right at her, biting down on a huge smile.“Okay, I know you’re mad, I know you’re struggling…” “Struggling…” Konan snorted, grabbing her top from him.“...but you’re so fucking cute right now.”Konan blushed, totally unable to think of anything to say back. She focused on trying to re-tie the strings of her top, but it was completely impossible, wearing the floaties and hiding inside the innertube. “I can’t get this back on,” she whispered. “I can’t do it with the stupid floaties!”“Want me to tie it for you?”Konan could feel her face heating up even more at the thought, but she couldn’t think of a better solution, and the voices of the swim team were getting louder, like they were walking to their side of the pool.“Yes, please!” Pain guided her back over to the side of the pool, where she lifted the innertube off and turned to face the wall, holding the edge so she didn’t sink. Pain took the bikini top back and lifted it over her head, his arms encircling her as he took hold of the halter strings. “Could you lift your hair?” he asked softly. She was hardly breathing as his hands brushed her nape as he tied the string up. He lowered his hands, reaching around her to grab the back strings, his arms skimming her waist as he pulled them around her to tie them. 
He’s so warm…
“All good?”“Uh-huh,” she said, a little breathlessly. “Okay. Let’s get you out of here, huh? Before the bottom half falls off…”“Oh, shut up...”—-Konan headed back to the dorm room, preferring to use her own shower to wash her hair for dinner, rather than use the tiny hotel-sized shampoo they had in the pool showers. By the time she made it down for dinner, her hair towelled dry, the rest of her friends were already at their usual table. She headed for the dinner line, grabbing a bowl of soup and crackers, and went to join them.Pain was slumped over in front of his tray, head buried in his arms, Deidara and Sasori on either side of him, both grinning wickedly and laughing, very obviously teasing him.Deidara spotted her; she heard him whispering, “Here she comes, here she comes!”Konan put her tray down and sat down opposite them, between Hidan and Kakuzu, who were also grinning. By now, Konan was having to work very hard to keep a straight face.“So… you heard about it, hey?” she asked the group as a whole.“Girl, have you never heard of a double knot!? ” Sasori exclaimed, as Deidara, Hidan, Kakuzu, Kisame, and Itachi all snorted into their plates.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

A couple days later, Konan’s bruises had faded, and the raw patches and bumps on her head had healed completely. She texted Ino after classes.
Still think u can help me make a report without my dad knowing?
Half an hour later, they were on a bus heading to the next town over, sharing a pair of headphones, listening to Teagan and Sara as Ino chatted happily as she read Konan’s palm, using a guide she found in a folded up magazine on the seat across from them.It was a little overwhelming to spend time with Ino, Konan decided, but she was a lot nicer than she’d first thought. At the station, Konan bought them both coffees and pastries from the little coffee shop.“Okay,” Ino said, leaning forward, “So, you’re going to make a statement, and so will I. This guy,” Ino nodded at a thick-waisted middle-aged man with spiky red hair, who was walking over to them, also holding a coffee, “is a family friend, and he’s going to be your guardian for the interview.”“Uh…” Konan said, looking up at the man, who nodded at her as he sat down at their table. “Morning,” he said in a gruff voice. “Um… good morning,” she said, shooting Ino a weirded-out look. Ino was reapplying her lip gloss, but she caught the look at grinned. “He’s harmless. Right?”The man gave Konan a bland smile and sipped his coffee.“Anyway,” Ino continued, “So, you give your statement. Give your name as Coral Akimichi.”“What?”Ino waved an airy hand. “None of this matters, but it’s probably best if you don’t give your real name, just to be like, crazy safe. I mean, don’t sweat the details girl! It’s all good on our end. You make a statement, your name won’t be on the file, your parents will never know, that piece of shit gets picked up, he’ll get a record, blah blah blah.” She took a big bite of her pastry. “When they bring him in, I can ID him. I’ll be making a statement, too, so you don’t have to come in again.”Konan could only stare. “But… none of this is legal!” Ino glanced at the spiky-haired man, who gave Konan a slightly patronizing look. “Don’t worry about that,” he said simply. Konan stared at Ino, who just gave her a wink.Crazy as it sounded, in the end it all went exactly as Ino said it would. The nondescript man who did Konan’s interview didn’t seem suspicious, didn’t ask for documents verifying her identity or anything. The spiky-haired man just sat next to her, totally impassive, and after a while she forgot he was there as she recounted the details of Hallowe’en night and showed the officer the photos she’d taken of her injuries. Once they were all finished and safely on the bus back to school, Konan shook her head, marvelling, at Ino.“Are you some kind of mob baby!? ” she hissed. “What the heck was all that!?”Ino burst out laughing. “Me!?” she giggled, taken aback. “Nah, not quite.” She winked, then spent the entirety of the bus ride weaving a friendship bracelet while Konan read crossword clues aloud for them to solve together.—A few days later, Konan was working on a still-life watercolour homework assignment for her painting class when Deidara knocked on her door. “Hey,” he said, scuffing his sock on the floor, hands in his pockets, “You busy?”“I just finished this layer, so you’ve got perfect timing actually,” Konan said, heading back to her easel and cleaning her brushes. “Wanna hang out in my room?” Deidara asked.“Sure,” she said, smiling, and followed him curiously as he headed back out the door. They passed Pain in the hall as he knocked on Itachi’s door, and headed through Deidara’s door. Deidara closed it after her.“Your painting looks good,” Deidara said, sitting back on the bed, hands still in his pockets awkwardly. “Thanks,” Konan said, sitting down opposite him. “So, what did you wanna do?”“Um…”“Did you want to talk?”“Yeah…”“About Sasori?”Sort of…”“Sounds good!” Deidara gave her a quick smile, then shrugged uncomfortably. “Do you think we could sit like we were before? I kind of… I’m not great with eye contact in conversations like these,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.Konan gave him a gentle shove of the shoulder. “Totally! Want me to braid your hair again?”Deidara grinned at her.A few minutes later, they were back in formation, Konan sitting against the headboard, brushing Deidara’s hair as he sat, leaning against her bent knees.“I guess,” he began slowly, “I’ve been kind of thinking about what we talked about… About why, before, I really thought Sasori wasn’t serious about me… and about how now, I kind of sometimes feel he’s a little too serious about me…”“Uh huh,” Konan said, running her fingers through his hair as she sectioned the pieces, feeling him relax against her legs as she did.“Sasori told me once I don’t trust people easily,” Deidara said slowly, moulding a lump of clay in his hands into various shapes as he talked. “I guess that’s true.”“Mmm. Like, friends and romantic partners? Family?”Deidara shrugged. “Everybody, probably.”“Have you dated people before Sasori?”He nodded. “Like, casually, I guess.”“Nobody serious?’Deidara shrugged again. “I mean, I was dating this one guy for a month and a half or so, but that was still casual. He was seeing other people, too.”“Hmm. That didn’t bother you?”“Nope.” Deidara shrugged. “I didn’t like him that much, but like I also knew about it, so it wasn’t a shock or anything.”“Can I ask… have you ever been in love with anybody, before Sasori?”Deidara sighed hugely and pressed his hands to his face. Konan watched his ears ans the back of his neck slowly turning pink.  “No…” came the muffled reply after a minute.Konan finished the first braid and brushed the hair away from the left side of Deidara’s face, pulling it back gently. “Are you close to your family?” she asked.“Nah,” Deidara responded right away.“How come?”Deidara was quiet for a few minutes. Konan focused on the braiding, giving him time. Eventually, he said, “I used to be really close with my older sister.”“The one who used to braid your hair?”“Yeah.”Konan waited for him to go on. After a minute, he did.“We used to hang out a lot. My older brothers were kind of shitty to be around when I was younger. Normal sibling stuff. But yeah, I hung out most with my sister. She was chill, cool to be with.”
Probably he’s downplaying it a little bit… it sounds like they were very, very close.
“Do you still hang out?” she asked.“Nope,” Deidara said, the barest hint of a clipped tone in his voice. “She ran away from home when I was like, twelve.”“Oh my gosh…”Deidara shrugged. “Haven’t heard from her since. Nobody knows where she is.”Konan paused in her braiding, taking that in. “I’m so sorry, Deidara… You don’t even know if she’s okay?”“Nope,” he said, again in that detached, clipped tone, then he shrugged again. “I mean, she was a tough, crazy bitch. She could talk her way out of anything, and she could do shit. Fix things really well.” Konan could hear a smile in his voice.“She’s probably abroad somewhere. Working as like, a bouncer, or an electrician, or a tree planter or something. She’d be good at that. Yeah, she’s fine,” he finished quietly.Konan rubbed his back gently. “It must have really hurt when she left, though. That must have been awful… Did she tell you she was going?”Deidara shook his head. After a minute of quiet, he said, “She had a huge fight with my dad. Probably about something stupid, as usual. She was out late, she was meeting her boyfriend, she was smoking, whatever… But I guess she decided that was it, and she left.”“That’s awful…”Deidara rubbed his face. “I thought she was gonna text me. I mean, even when she was fighting with everyone else, she never fought with me, hm. But she never texted, called, anything.” His voice caught in his throat, and Konan could tell he was fighting with every fibre of his being not to choke up. “I went to try find her. Checked the bus depot, went downtown, went everywhere we used to hang out together. But like, I didn’t really know how to find her. I was a kid.”“That must have been so hard,” Konan murmured.“I mean… yeah. I was closest to her, and after she left, everything was different… it kind of all went to shit, honestly.”Konan rubbed his back silently for a few minutes, then asked, “Could I give you a hug?”Deidara shrugged. She put her arms around him carefully. After a moment, he scooched backwards up the bed towards her so she could give him a back hug, laying her forehead against his shoulder.She felt him relax into her gradually, his heartbeat slowing. It was like she had caught a wild rabbit in her lap. “I mean, it makes sense, if someone so important to you left really suddenly, that that would affect you, right? That’s a huge change, and heartbreak you couldn’t prepare for or like… really get any closure on, right?” she asked carefully after a few minutes.She winced, feeling like it didn’t come out how she meant, but Deidara just sighed.“The thing is… I dunno. I don’t want you to be right, if that makes sense. I hate things where you can just point to shit about your family, or childhood, or whatever the fuck and say, well that’s why you’re like this. I don’t think there’s any reason for me being how I am, I just am,” he said, his voice rising. “I don’t like asking why , I guess. Things are just the way they are, you know?”Konan nodded, loosening her arms around him, not wanting him to feel trapped in a hug. He stayed where he was, though, still leaning back against her. “I dunno, I’ve been thinking about what you said, about how I don’t talk about me and Sasori the same way he does… and I know you’re right, hm.” His back was tensing up as he shrugged his shoulders, cracked his knuckles anxiously.“Maybe I’m just… scared, or whatever, to trust that…” He shook his head hard. “I don’t fucking know or care why , but I just can’t trust that someone’s going to… Like, that it won’t happen again. Someone’s a huge fucking part of your life, and they disappear, or they leave you…” His voice cracked. “And you can’t stop it, or know when it’s going to happen.”Konan felt tears pricking in her own eyes hearing the hurt and anger in his words.“And you’re just left there, everything in your life totally fucked over, everything that is safe, or normal, is just gone, and it’s never gonna be the same.” Konan reached up and started stroking his hair again, slowly, letting him talk.“And… I can’t talk about any of this shit with Sasori,” he said, sniffing and giving another jerky shrug. “He won’t get it. He’s, like, incapable of getting it. He talks about everything lasting forever, everything will always be the same. And it fucking won’t , and he just… I don’t know,” Deidara muttered, shaking his head. “I don’t wanna talk about it anymore.”“Totally,” Konan said softly. Deidara scooted out from in front of her, rubbing his eyes harshly, and joined her, sitting against the headboards.“Wanna watch something?” he asked, avoiding her gaze.“Yeah, that would be nice,” Konan said, smiling at him.They ended up watching a monster truck rally together on Deidara’s laptop until Konan started to fall asleep, and got up to head back to her own room.“Thanks for talking to me, Deidara,” she said softly, giving him a hug. “Happy to chat again, or just hang out, anytime.”“Mhmm,” he said, giving her a quick squeeze before waving her out.Konan headed to her bedroom, thinking over the conversation.
I wonder if they’ll be okay… It seems like Deidara’s scared Sasori won’t understand him… but if they don’t talk, something bad’s bound to happen. Sasori’s so confident about them, I wonder if Deidara feels he can’t bring up any insecurities or worries… 
Konan flopped onto her bed, rubbing her face. As if I know what I’m fucking talking about. How many people have I dated? Big fat 0 on the scorecard. Have I managed to ask out Pain? Hell no. If we do get together, will I have any idea what I’m doing? Fuck no. Konan’s eyes snapped open and she rolled over. For the first time, aside from feeling happy and excited at the possibility of going out with Pain, she felt incredibly nervous.
What do people do when they’re dating? What if we have nothing to say to each other? What if we break up after like two weeks because I don’t know what I’m doing!? 
Oh my god… Maybe I should ask Sasori and Deidara for advice…  —-A few weeks later, Pain was lying facedown on Sasori’s bed, groaning, as Sasori sat reading next to him.“So, you still haven’t asked her out, huh?” Sasori asked, turning a page.Another loud groan. “I know…” came Pain’s muffled voice. “I’m waiting for the perfect moment… or like a hint that it’s the right time, that she wants me to…”“That whole backflip into your face thing – not enough of a hint?”“I couldn’t do it then!” Pain exclaimed, rolling over, still covering his face with his hands. “That was two days after what happened on Halloween! She was hurt, still. And what was I supposed to say? ‘Hey, forget about that horrible thing that just happened to you, I really liked how you held my head with your thighs just then, wanna go out with me?’ Come on…”“Maybe, but I’d say flying crotch-first at your face is a pretty huge hint, but maybe that’s just me…” Sasori said, clearly enjoying himself.“I think she was just trying to have fun and distract herself ““If you asked her out, you could distract her more… ”“You guys were all there…” Pain mumbled.“Well, excuse us for breathing. Shall we go sleep outside in the trash like raccoons until you get your balls out of the drawer and ask the girl you like out on a date?” Sasori said sarcastically. “And then there was the whole, tee hee, my top came off in the pool and there’s only we two here, what should we do? thing. What happened there? Not enough of a moment, either?”“My previous point about it being really close after Halloween still stands. Plus, what did you want me to say? ‘Gee Konan, I know your top is at the bottom of the pool, but while I have you here, trapped and topless, would you like to go out with me’? How would you like it if someone suddenly came onto you while your swim trunks were missing!?”Sasori laughed, flipping a page. “You are asking the wrong guy, my friend. I wouldn’t mind, if I were interested.”Pain snorted. “Okay, fair, totally wrong person to ask. Deidara would hate it though.”Sasori chuckled. “Yeah, he would,” he said, almost reminiscently. “He’d’ve tried to drown me, probably, if I’d done that…”Pain laughed. “True.”“But anyway, it’s been three weeks since then. It’s mid-November. And you still haven’t asked her out yet, because…?”“I mean… three weeks still isn’t that long since Halloween…” Pain mumbled, ignoring Sasori’s scoff. “Plus, I have actually kind of tried to get her on her own to talk. I asked if she wanted to hang out, but she was going out with Ino; then she was hanging out with Deidara when I was heading to talk to her and I had to pretend to be looking for Itachi who wasn’t even in his room ; then I took her out on the bike for another night ride, and I was literally about to ask her when we ran into Hidan and Kakuzu, fucking around, and they wouldn’t let us leave…”He scrubbed a hand through his hair. “Then I thought it would be perfect if we were dance partners in gym class because you have to do so much solo practising, but Hidan got there first,” he grumbled.Sasori laughed. “Your face was fucking priceless, though. You looked like he’d just stabbed you.”Pain bapped Sasori’s book into his face, annoyed, and received a slap on the forehead with the book in return. “I like how Hidan doesn’t give a rat’s ass about his grades in any class, until he has a chance to be the best in the dance unit,” Pain said with a snort.“Mmm, and they’ll be the best, why? Because Konan’s a dancer… and a gymnast… and she’s so flexible… ” Sasori whispered in Pain’s ear.“Get away from me, mouthbreather,” Pain said mildly. He received a kick from Sasori.“The second Guy asked who wanted to partner up, he was like, ‘ME’ so fucking loudly I thought I burst an eardrum,” Sasori snickered. “Who’s your partner again?”Pain sighed, pressing his hands to his face. “Hinata.”The process of establishing dance partners for the unit hadn’t gone according to anyone’s plan, and had ended in semi-chaos. At first, Guy had announced that if anyone wanted to partner up, they could do so by raising their hands together. At which point Hidan had immediately seized Konan’s arm, flung it upwards and yelled, “Me and Konan are going to shit all over you rhythm-challenged motherfuckers!!” This had earned him a night’s detention for vulgar language. (Guy was the only teacher who cared about that.)Other immediate partners were Sasuke and Karin, who, like Hidan, had jerked Sasuke’s arm into the air. Sakura and Ino had volunteered to partner together, apparently not wanting to be stuck with anyone who wasn’t Sasuke. Guy had said they had to partner boy-girl, which earned him several accusations of homophobia, plus a loud inquiry about nonbinary students. Guy yelled that the point of the dance unit was to encourage students to make friends outside their own friend groups, and that volunteering for partners was over forever, and that he was just going to pick people at random based on who they were standing near. And this of course resulted in a huge amount of violent shuffling.“ALRIGHT! EVERYONE FREEZE!” Guy yelled, blowing on his whistle.He moved through the crowd of students in a foul mood, pairing people off and writing down their names so they couldn’t switch and hope he forgot.Pain ended up with Hinata. Ino was with Choji. Sasori was paired with Sakura. Karin was with Suigetsu. Sasuke and Naruto were partnered together, to their mutual horror. At  the end of the day, the only people who were happy were Hidan and Konan, who Guy had forgotten to split up.“Okay, so what’s the plan then?” Sasori asked, closing his book and folding his arms, looking down at Pain. “You’re going to lie on my bed whinging until Konan asks you out herself, or until she gives up on you when someone else asks her out?”“Who’s asking her out!?”Sasori examined his nails. “You think you’re the only person in the entire school who thinks she’s pretty? The winter dance is coming up in December, and by then everyone will have seen her dancing at the showcase, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she gets some offers…”Pain’s forehead wrinkled with worry, until he caught sight of Sasori’s huge smirk and realized he was messing with him.“Oh, fuck off,” he said, giving Sasori a shove. “I’ll have asked her out before the dance showcase, I’m not that pathetic.”Sasori said nothing, just made a little face over his book. Pain laughed and shoved him again.“ Hey. I just… I feel like she probably needs more time since—”“Since Halloween?”“Yeah.”“Have you asked her if she does?”Pain paused, thinking, then frowned. “You know what… no, I haven’t.”“Didn’t want to bring it up?”“I guess…”“You think it could be you who needs more time to move past it?”Pain frowned, sitting up. “What is there for me to move past? It wasn’t her fucking fault, and it doesn’t change how I feel about her, why the fuck would it?”Sasori raised his eyebrows at Pain’s tone, but kept his light. “ I’m not saying that. But if you haven’t talked to her about it at all, and you haven’t asked her out when you both know you like her, she might start to worry about that, don’t you think?”Pain gaped at him. “She’s not… Why would she… Oh my god…” He groaned, flopping back down on the bed and covering his face with his hands. “I hope to fuck she’s not thinking that, like come on!” “I’m not saying she is, but like… I might be, if it were me.” Sasori shrugged. “What should I tell her!? How are you supposed to say, ‘Hey, please don’t worry, I am still just as attracted to you as I was before you were assaulted’!? What in the fucking world…” Pain made a horrified face. “What kind of disgusting, shallow, ignorant, inconsiderate little pissbrain… And that’s what she’s thinking I’m thinking!??”Sasori raised his hands. “Hey, I never said that. There’s an easy way to find out, though.”“How?”“ Ask. Her. And while you’re at it: Ask. Her. Out.” “Okay, okay, okay. You’re right.”Sasori rolled his eyes. “Why is it like pulling teeth to get you to ask out a girl you like..!?”“Well, there’s a lot of tension!! At this point, it feels like it has to be some spectacular thing with fucking fireworks or something!” Pain exclaimed.“You are ridiculous.”“Speaking of asking people things,” Pain grinned, “Are you ever planning to give Deidara that promise ring gathering dust in your sock drawer..?”Sasori shut his book. “Good night.”Pain laughed. “Come on! You have a whole thing planned, don’t you? You taking him on a trip somewhere? Waiting for a special day?”Sasori glanced reflexively at the top drawer of his dresser, but didn’t answer. Pain nudged him gently.“Hey… you okay?”“Yeah.”“You excited?”“Yeah.”“Nervous?”“No.”“So…?”Sasori crawled onto his bed next to Pain, who scooched sideways to make room for him.“I’m thinking of asking him over the winter break. I’ve got some things planned.”“That’s great!”“Yeah.” Sasori smiled gently, eyes closing, his voice soft and earnest.Pain smiled too. “I’m really happy for you, buddy. And I’m happy for Deidara, finally locking you down, hey?”Sasori grinned. “Thanks, man. I mean, that’s the idea, I guess.”His smile faded, and he started picking at his nails. Pain gave him a tiny worried look.“You sure you’re not... you seem a little… You don’t think he’ll say no?” “No.” Sasori snorted. “Well, not really. But it is Deidara, so I am expecting some kind of drama. I wouldn’t expect any less of him, but…” A wide grin spread over his face, like he couldn’t help himself. “I think he’ll be happy. I’m really, really excited.”—Konan closed her eyes, sighing, as she moved through cool-down stretches after another late dance practice with Hidan. Hidan, the maniac, didn’t ever seem to be interested in stretching afterwards – he’d just slap her on the back and head out the gym doors into the grounds, presumably to meet Kakuzu and bus into town.Being dance partners with Hidan had allowed Konan to get to know him a lot better, which had been lovely, but had also come with a few surprises, the biggest of which was that Hidan and Kakuzu spent several nights a week at a literal underground fight club in town.“I’m sorry, you what?” Konan had asked in disbelief the first night Hidan had pulled his jacket on after practice and casually mentioned where he was going.Hidan had shrugged at her, smiling. “You wanna come?”“Uh…”He raised his eyebrows invitingly.“Sure?”And that’s how she had found herself, an hour and a half later, standing in a packed basement warehouse that stank of body odour and beer, squashed between several middle-aged men, yelling their heads off, in her faded Spice Girls t-shirt and pink spandex shorts, sweat running down her back as she screamed and booed with the crowd, watching the guys below completely beat each other to shit for money. Kakuzu had been fighting that night, with Hidan carefully instructed on how much to bet on him. Apparently they switched off who was fighting and who was betting, and did this so regularly, and so rarely got actually hurt in their fights, much less lost , that they were known in the community as the ‘Zombie Combo.’But tonight, Hidan had gone alone to meet Kakuzu. Konan decided to save accompanying them for occasions when she really needed to blow off steam, actually felt like watching one or other of her close friends completely beat another man to a pulp, and when she wasn’t in her workout clothes. She finished stretching out her hamstrings and got to her feet, taking a deep breath. She was actually enjoying the dance unit — mostly because Guy was letting them do whatever they felt like, and Hidan had left that completely up to her, so she was re-using one of the routines she’d learned from her dance classes. Hidan was a good partner, and really enthusiastic – sometimes a little too much so, like when he’d asked if he could lift her above his head at the end, and had missed his grip and nearly dropped her.She’d been spending so much time with him doing after-school practices, that she hadn’t had as much time for her other friends. She hadn’t had another chat with Deidara, hadn’t gone over to annoy Sasori (or vice versa) for at least a week, and hadn’t gone on the motorbike or hung out with Pain for a while either…
I wonder if he thinks I’m mad at him, or ignoring him… 
After the swim unit (during which Konan had learned to tread water, but nothing else), she had wondered when he might be planning to ask her out. He’d said she was cute, out loud, to her face, which he hadn’t done before. But since then, he hadn’t flirted with her at all, and he hadn’t even invited her to hang out for a couple weeks…
Maybe he’s not interested in me anymore?
Konan pulled her shoes back on and zipped up her sweater, heading back to her dorm. 
Maybe I totally misread what he was saying before, and it wasn’t me he liked to begin with?
Konan bit her lips and shook her head, trying to quiet that insecure inner voice. He knows I like him. If he wasn’t interested, surely he would have told me so by now. And he told me he thought I was cute after that, so if he isn’t interested, he is the worst possible master of mixed messaging. What if I ask him out and he turns me down!? Why can’t he just say something like a normal person!? What the heck is he waiting for!? She was frowning at the ground, so focused on her inner monologue that she walked straight into Pain who was turning the corner. “Oh! It’s you!” Konan exclaimed in shock.“Should it not be?” Pain asked with a confused grin. “Um, no, it’s… fine?” Konan laughed awkwardly, feeling herself going pink from embarrassment.
God damnit…
“Okay…” Pain smiled, rubbing the back of his head. “I was coming to find you, actually.”“Really!?”“Should I not be?”“Um, no, it’s… wait, we’re looping!” Konan said, giggling. She took a deep breath. “Okay. You were looking for me? What’s up?”Pain put his hands in his pockets and fell into step next to her as she continued down the hallway. “I was wondering if you wanted to hang out tomorrow.”“Sure! What do you want to do?”“You said you wanted to learn to ride the bike…”“Seriously!?” Konan’s eyes were wide with excitement. “You’d let me try?”Pain grinned down at her. “Yeah. I mean, don’t drive it into the lake please, but…” “Oh my god! That’s so awesome, thank you!”“It’ll be easier to teach you when it’s light out, obviously, so… did you wanna skip first period with me?” Konan couldn’t help smiling. “Um, for sure!” “Cool! Meet me by the hole in the fence at 8:30?”“I can get us breakfast!”“Awesome. See you later,” Pain said, shooting her a smile and heading down the other hallway to the cafeteria. Konan kept walking towards the dorm rooms, pressing her hands to her face to try calm herself down. 
I’m gonna learn to ride a motorbike! And, right when I was getting so mad at him, Pain asked me to hang out! Is this destiny!?
She snorted with laughter at that last thought, shaking her head as she continued on her way.   –The next day, she headed down to breakfast early, carrying a bag with a change of clothes over her shoulder, and filled a paper bag with a few muffins, and grabbed two large coffees to go. She stopped to pull her jeans on under her skirt and pull on her leather jacket before sneaking out the front doors and heading over to the gap in the fence, where Pain was waiting on the other side, leaning against the bike, grinning broadly as she ran over.“Good morning, sunshine,” he said easily, reaching a hand out to help her through the fence as she balanced the coffees and bag of muffins.“Hey,” she said, taken aback, unable to stop a surprised smile spreading across her face. She felt herself turning red and looked down. 
Why does it feel like we’re on a date??
“Thanks for the coffee,” Pain said, taking the cup she held out. “We can eat over there, then you can try riding?” he suggested, nodding at a copse of trees about thirty feet from the road. “Might as well not get caught before we get anywhere, if any staff look outside ““Sure,” Konan said, and followed as Pain pushed the bike towards the copse. Hidden behind the first wall of trees, a well-worn path leading right to it, was a twisted pine, whose trunk curved low to the ground before straightening to the sky, providing a natural bench. Pain put down the kickstand, dropped the bike helmets onto the leaves, and sat on the curved trunk. Konan joined him, offering him the bag of muffins and looking around; judging by the amount of half-buried cigarette butts and the couple of crushed beer cans littering the wide clearing, this was a commonly-used hangout spot. The lake was visible to the north-west through the edge of the woods, a ways off.“How’s your dance with Hidan coming along?” Pain asked, biting into a carrot and raisin muffin.Konan shifted sideways on the tree to face him better, nearly spilling her coffee. “Pretty good! We’re doing a samba. Hidan actually has pretty good hip rotation, I’m very impressed! But we had to cut an aerial lift because he kept nearly dropping me.”Pain raised his eyebrows and whistled. “Sounds like it’s gonna be a knockout performance.”Konan nodded, smiling, then snorted with laughter. “Sorry, I just remembered– did you know Hidan and Kakuzu are regulars at the underground fight ring in town?”Pain choked on his coffee. “Excuse me!?”“They’re known as the ‘Zombie Combo,’ and they bet on each other and make a load of money…” Konan trailed off, giggling at the look on Pain’s face.“Wait, there’s an underground fighting ring in town!?” he asked, still stuck on the first point. “Uh huh! It’s called ‘The Blood Cage.’”“ Zombie Combo!?” “The unkillable duo! When one goes down, the other rises! Kakuzu hasn’t lost in two months!”Pain laughed. “Are you their biggest fan?” he asked teasingly.“Only a moron would bet against them. They made a load of money last time!”Pain stared at her. “And they do this a couple nights a week!? Damn… I'm making Kakuzu pay for dinner when we go out for the rest of the year.”Konan laughed. “And that’s your dance partner, huh? Hidan’s a man of many talents,” Pain said, shaking his head and taking the last bite of his muffin.“How are things going with Hinata?” Konan asked. “I haven’t talked to her much. Is she nice?”Pain rolled his eyes with a shug. “I mean, yeah, but she’s so shy it’s hard to hear her. I feel like I need a fucking ear trumpet or something to hear her say anything over the music. But sure, she’s nice.” Pain’s phone vibrated. He slipped it out of his pocket, frowned at it, and typed a response. “Sorry,” he murmured, glancing up at Konan, who shook her head.“All good.” She finished her muffin and took a sip of coffee, looking peacefully around at the trees. It was a chilly November day, but the dappled sunlight streaming between the tree branches still felt warm on Konan’s legs. She swung her feet in front of her, smiling at Pain’s motorbike, ready and waiting for her to try it out. “Okay,” Pain said, shutting his phone. “Ready?”“Yes!!” Konan said immediately, slipping down from the tree and beaming at him.He laughed. “Ten out of ten for enthusiasm…”He walked her around the bike, pointing things out, telling her what they were called and what they did, and quizzing her at the end. He walked her through the basic step-by-step of turning the bike on, how to sit on it, how to brace the weight of the bike and balance when stopped, the clutch, throttle, brakes, signal lights, headlights, turning, and stopping. It was a full half hour before Konan actually tried to ride the bike. Pain did his best to tell her how to avoid jerking forwards suddenly, but she still managed to shoot off unexpectedly fast, luckily still managing to stop well before hitting a tree. After a couple more tries, Konan was laughing giddily, zooming slowly back and forth, then in a wide circle, then between the trees, as Pain watched, hands in his pockets, calling out instructions. After another half hour or so, Konan took a break. She sat back on the tree, pulling off the helmet and quickly running a hand through her hair, having learned her lesson about helmet hair.“You’re doing really great,” Pain said, smiling at her and taking the helmet, hanging it on the bike handle.“Thanks!” she beamed. “Thank you for teaching me!” “For sure,” he said easily. He looked at her for a moment, rubbing his jaw, like he was on the edge of asking something.Konan pulled off her jacket, fanning herself. “What’s up?” “I’ve been meaning to ask how you’ve been doing,” he began, sliding his hands into his pockets, rolling a stone on the ground with the toe of his shoe, “Since…” He met her gaze briefly. “Since Halloween.”“Oh.” Konan considered, then shrugged. “Fine, I think.”“Yeah?”“Yeah. I mean, it would’ve been so different, absolutely horrible, if he hadn’t been expelled, but he was.” She shrugged again. “I filed a police report, in the end. Ino helped me.”“Oh, good.”“Mhmm.” Konan looked at him curiously. He looked up and grimaced back at her.“Sorry, I know I’m being so fucking awkward,” he said with a smile. He came over and sat down next to her, hands still in his pockets. “I was wondering… Like, when we talked that night… I got the vibe that you might be down to maybe go out with me sometime, if I asked you.” Konan exhaled suddenly, taken by surprise, and raised a hand to her face as she felt herself reddening.
Fuck! I’m all sweaty!! I probably look stupid!! Is he asking me out!? Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god… SAY SOMETHING!!
“Um… uh huh…” she managed, nodding and trying not to look too excited.Pain was clearly trying not to smile too, now, looking at her. “And if that’s still the case… I just wanted to see if you need more time, since what happened. Like, I’m totally cool for whatever you need. I’m not going anywhere.”Konan felt her cheeks heating up even more. 
Fuck! Stop saying nice things!! I look like a damn tomato! 
“Um, I don’t…” Konan looked down at her knees, trying to stay calm when she desperately wanted to get up and cheer. “I really appreciate that, it’s very kind of you to consider… that. I think at this point, I’m… good?” She bit her lips, trying to imagine various scenarios and how they might make her feel. “I think definitely I did need a little time, and I can’t like, guarantee that I won’t ever feel kind of weird or bad about something because of it…”“Totally. You don’t have to,” Pain said quickly.“But… I’m not sure how to say this…” She was bright red, she knew it. Her voice grew smaller and smaller as she kept talking, gazing at her knees. “I haven’t… I guess, I hate that he was the last person to…” Her hands flapped up and down her torso uncomfortably. “I mean, it would be nice, I think, for me, if he weren’t the last person to, um, touch me. In certain places. If that makes sense.”Pain was just gazing at her intensely. She hugged herself, looking away again shyly.
TMI much?? What the hell did I just say!??
“Sorry, that’s totally not what you were asking. Umm… yes, I’d be happy to date… someone… now.” 
Kill me now, kill me now, kill me now…
“And, um, there’d be no pressure or anything to, like, do anything right away because of what I just… Actually, please just forget what I said…”
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP TALKING!! 
“...But, just to be totally, totally clear, you do like me, too, right?” She forced herself to look at him, and then really wished she hadn’t; she was so embarrassed, it was like looking into the sun.He was grinning at her, looking ridiculously happy. There was something sweet and warm in his gaze. Konan could barely breathe looking at him.“I do like you,” he said softly, leaning forward a little. “I really, really, really like you.” Konan felt completely rooted to the spot, heart pounding so hard she was sure he would hear it, too. She shifted forward slightly, mind completely blank, just sinking into his violet eyes as he leaned closer. His hands came up to cup her face, one thumb stroking softly across her cheek. She could hear him breathing, was surrounded by his scent — woodsmoke, white musk, laundry detergent. Her hands trembled as she reached forward to take hold of his jacket. His breath ghosted over her face as he leaned in. She parted her lips, her breath shallow, heart hammering in her ears, her gaze dropping to his mouth as he lowered his face, tilting his head to meet her—His phone rang. They both froze, looking at each other. Pain reached backward to take his phone out of his pocket, not backing away from her. She was very aware of her breathing as he glanced up at her before looking down to swipe to block the call— and froze.“What is it?” she breathed, seeing his face tighten and his brow furrow.She looked down at the phone. It was Sasori calling, and there were several unread texts, the most recent reading ‘SOS.’“Is something wrong?” she asked.Pain glanced at her — Is it okay? — and when she nodded, he backed up, keeping a hand on her waist, and answered.“Hey, man, what’s— ?” He didn’t even get through the question before Konan heard Sasori’s voice, more distressed than she’d ever heard him, cut him off.The line between Pain’s eyebrows deepened as he listened, and his gaze shifted from Konan back in the direction of the school.“He’s not in class? … No, he’s not with us. Yeah I’d tell you, come on. … I’ll see.”He covered the phone and asked Konan, “Deidara hasn’t texted you, has he?”Konan fumbled for her phone and turned it on. No messages. She shook her head at Pain, who nodded.“Nope. He could just be skipping, he’s not in his room? … Okay, are his shoes gone then? His coat?”Konan was frowning with worry, too, now. “Deidara’s gone?” she whispered. Pain glanced at her, nodded. She bit her lips and double checked that she had no messages or missed calls.“I mean, maybe he just…” Pain cut out, suddenly looking more serious. Konan heard Sasori’s voice rising, sounding more upset than she’d ever heard him. She got up and walked over to the bike, feeling like she was intruding even if she couldn’t hear what he was saying.“You think so?” Pain said quietly. “Hey, it’s okay… it’ll be okay… I’ll come back, we’ll look for him. Yeah, no worries. … Come on, don’t say that. I’ll see you really soon.” Pain hung up. He looked down at his phone for a few seconds, thinking. Then he turned to Konan, standing by the bike, putting her jacket back on. “I’m sorry,” he said, getting up and walking over to her.“No worries,” she said, picking up the spare motorbike helmet. “Should we ride back? It’s faster. Is Deidara missing? He went somewhere?”“I think so,” Pain said, grabbing his own helmet. “I’ll drive us back to the fence — you can head back. I’ll be meeting Sasori out front,” he said in answer to her confused look. “He wants to check the bus stop, then the village, and then… I dunno,” he sighed. “Why would he have gone?” Konan asked, pulling her helmet on.Pain shrugged. “It’s not totally out of the ordinary for him,” he said, swinging his jacket back on. “But… Sasori thinks he found the promise ring he had hidden in his drawer.” Konan gasped. “Wait, what? Sasori got him a promise ring!?”Pain shrugged. “Hard to explain why that would make him head out, but…”Konan bit her lips nervously, feeling that she could actually make a pretty good guess.“I dunno,” Pain continued. “Deidara’s sometimes a bit of a flight risk. Anyway,” He stepped over to Konan, putting his hands on her shoulders. “I’m really sorry about this.”“Don’t even worry! This is way more important…” Konan said, flustered. Pain smiled and flipped up her visor. “This is important, too.” He tilted his head, leaning in, and before Konan could react, he had kissed her gently through the opening of the helmet. “I promise I’ll make it up to you,” he said seriously, violet eyes blazing.Konan could barely nod in response, blushing furiously. He winked at her and shut her visor again, before striding to the bike, swinging his leg over, turning the key and kicking out the stand. Konan followed him, slipping on behind him and holding him tight as he revved the engine and they roared out of the copse, back to the school.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Konan was the only one of her friends in drawing class that day. At lunch, she had to sit and wonder vaguely where Pain, Sasori, and Deidara were with the others, who apparently weren’t sure what was going on either. Konan heard from them that Deidara had been gone since before breakfast, and hadn’t been in any of his classes for the day.

In gym class, Hidan and Konan rehearsed their dance performance, running through tricky sections and practising their timing. Konan could hardly focus, her mind kept flicking to Deidara, to where he might be, whether Sasori and Pain had found him yet.

She flat-out skipped Performing Arts, unable to focus on anything else. She went back to the dorm room and changed out of her uniform, back into jeans and a hoodie. One glance out the window told her it had come onto rain, so she grabbed a coat, too, feeling another sharp pang of worry about Deidara.

I hope he’s somewhere inside, at least…

Konan pulled on her boots and headed downstairs, out the front door again. Outside, the rain was falling in sheets. She pulled up her hood and ran out the front gates, then turned left, following the fence back to the trees where she had been with Pain that morning, figuring it was private and would be relatively sheltered.

As it turned out, she was wrong; the pine trees grew too sparsely around the clearing to provide cover, so she kept going until she reached the woods bordering the lake, where the canopy was thicker. She sat on a large fallen tree after finding a dry patch, and pulled out her phone.

Still no calls or messages from Deidara, but she wasn’t surprised; if he wasn’t texting Sasori, he wouldn't be texting her. She closed her eyes, thinking. Based on everything Deidara had talked about when they’d last hung out, if he had found the promise ring, and if Sasori had not talked to him about it in advance to keep it a surprise, it wasn’t totally inconceivable that Deidara could have been freaked out enough to leave the school to think.

But where would he go?

Figuring it couldn’t hurt to try, Konan texted him:

Hey, I hope you’re okay in the rain. I’m here if u want to talk or anything.

She sighed and wiped her runny nose on her sleeve, sniffing, holding her knees to her chest. She was cold, and already pretty wet just after walking here. But it was better to be outside, clearing her head and alone, than inside trying to pretend everything was normal.

But… it’s kind of pointless. I just impulsively came out here, but Pain and Sasori know Deidara way better. They’d know where he might have gone. I’m not helping anything.

Starting to feel a little silly, she focused instead on the rain, listening to it falling through the trees, the rushing echo of it landing in the lake a few dozen feet away. At least it was peaceful. She zoned out, eyes closed, breathing in the scent of pine and petrichor.

A few minutes later, her phone buzzed. It was Pain:

On our way back. Did Deidara show up?

She tried not to feel disappointed. She replied:

Okay. No, he’s not back.

She pulled the drawstrings of her hood tighter and closed her eyes. There wasn’t anything she could do to help. The only thing she could figure was that if Deidara had left, taking only his shoes and his coat, presumably – he had every intention of coming back. She wasn’t sure if he’d taken his wallet, even. Which could mean he hadn’t gone very far at all.

Konan stood up, thinking.

If I were freaking out, stressed, and wanted to go somewhere to think, where would I go?

She paced back and forth, running through the places her friends had shown her where they hung out around the school. But Deidara would have wanted to get further away, to not be found quickly, if he needed some time alone. Would he have gone into town?

I came

here

,

Konan thought suddenly, stopping. She looked around, as though Deidara were suddenly going to appear from behind a tree.

Maybe he went outside somewhere, too?

She started to walk, heading to the edge of the treeline by the lake, which would afford her a pretty good view, in case he happened to be on the shore. Failing that, she would walk around the perimeter before heading back to school. Just in case.

As she broke the treeline, squinting in the sudden brightness out of the dark canopy of the trees, her phone rang. She reached into her pocket as she scrambled down the slippery embankment, holding onto the tall grasses with her other hand for balance. She looked at the screen and froze: Deidara was calling.

It took a couple tries, swiping her thumb across to answer the call, as raindrops fell on the screen.

“Hello?”

Deidara didn’t say anything for a moment. Konan pressed the phone harder against her ear, stumbling over the rocks at the edge of the lake, heading for a large boulder a ways away to sit on.

“Deidara, are you okay?” she asked. “Where are you?”

“Hey, Konan.” Deidara’s voice was low, muffled by the rain. “I’m fine.”

Konan could hear her heart pounding in her ears. She made it to the boulder and sat down, pulling her hood further over her head, trying to fit the phone inside it so it wouldn’t get wet as she bit her lips, trying to hear him as he talked. The rain was coming on even harder, a complete downpour, and her jeans were completely soaked, her fingers starting to go numb.

“What’s going on?” she asked, raising her voice over the rain. “What’s wrong?”

Silence for a minute, and then Deidara mumbled, “Sasori got me a ring.”

“A ring?”

“A promise ring, I think. I found it in his drawer. I heard him and Pain talking about it last night.”

The roar of the rain was loud on Deidara’s end, just as loud as Konan’s.

He’s not inside. He might not even be under shelter.

“Wow. That’s intense.”

“It is, right!?” Deidara’s voice raised sharply. “It’s crazy! What the hell is he thinking!? How could he be like, hanging onto this thing for who knows how long… he never even

talked

to me about it…”

Konan hummed sympathetically. “That’s pretty crazy, yeah.” She started looking carefully all around the edge of the lake, just in case, squinting as hard as she could at every blurry shadow, every shape.

“Just like… I don’t understand how he’s so… He’s

so—

ugh! Like what the hell is going on with him, I have no idea. First he’s just like, messing around with me, having fun with me like nothing he does fucking matters, like it won’t bother me— fine, he stopped that. And now he’s completely going the other way, like what the fuck is a

promise ring!?

What am I supposed to do with that, he’s promising to what, to… to fucking

marry

me or something!?”

Konan let out a small laugh. “Probably that’s the idea. But it’s way in the future, I’m sure, right?”

“That’s the

problem

. I just don’t fucking…”

Konan’s eyes widened, focusing on a dark shape across the lake, on the opposite side near the field and abandoned farmhouse. It was definitely a person, in a black coat, pacing back and forth on the shoreline.

“I can’t deal with this,” Deidara said through gritted teeth. “I… How am I supposed to get married to him!? He says I drive him fucking crazy already, and who knows what’s going to happen when we leave school!?”

Konan watched the figure on the other side of the lake rub their head in exasperation, and kick something.

Yeah, that’s him.

“He always thinks he’s completely

right

about everything, like he can see the future, like nothing bad will ever, ever happen, and he’s always planning shit behind my back and he never

asks

me about fucking anything…”

As Deidara ranted, Konan lowered her phone, wiping it semi-dry with the hem of her sweater, and quickly pulled up her text chat with Sasori, typing as fast as she could:

He’s at lake by old house,

hitting send.

No matter how angry Deidara was, and how hurt and annoyed Sasori probably was, Konan knew they wouldn’t resolve anything unless they talked to each other. Plus, she reasoned, Sasori was probably completely out of his head with worry. Surely it was best to let him know Deidara was okay?

“But yeah… he’s probably really mad, right?” Deidara asked quietly.

“I mean, he’s really worried about you,” Konan said, reading the incoming message from Sasori:

thanks

“Figures.” Deidara muttered, sounding a little guilty before jumping right back into indignation — “I mean, yeah, okay, I fully freaked out. But can he fucking blame me!? I couldn’t believe he was thinking about this, about… whatever the fuck he’s thinking about.”

Konan closed her eyes, catching that Deidara couldn’t seem to bear to say

marriage

again.

“How long has he fucking had that thing tucked away? What the hell is he thinking!?”

Konan sighed, shivering a little, watching rivulets of water cascade under her shoes. “You don’t think he’s thinking he loves you?” she asked quietly. “Maybe he thinks this is how he can prove to you that he’s serious, like we talked about. He wants you to know he’s in this, with you. Right?”

Deidara growled in frustration. “That’s the problem!”

“How is that the problem?” Konan asked, trying to keep her voice calm even as she was getting frustrated herself. “You just think it’s too soon, right? That’s fine! That’s okay, that’s norma!l It’s okay to feel stressed about that!”

“It’s not even… yeah, but like, I just don’t understand how he even… I never, ever

think

about getting married, or about the future, or where we’ll be, or whether or not we’ll even be

together

in two years, five years, whatever. It’s hard for me to like…”

His voice cracked. Konan watched him, on the other side of the lake, gripping his head in frustration.

“It’s hard for me to believe, or just to fucking

comprehend

that if he says forever, to

him

that literally means

forever, literally forever,

like that’s fucking impossible!! It’s just not going to happen!!”

“But do you

want

it to be forever? With him?”

Deidara panted, catching his breath for a second. “That’s not the point, though!”

Konan, watching him across the lake, spotted another figure, sprinting across the field from the farmhouse. Darkened though it was by the rain, she could still make out Sasori’s red hair. She breathed a sigh of relief, clutching the phone tight to her ear.

“Even if I wanted it,” Deidara continued angrily, “Even if I wanted to, to always… be together with him—” His voice cut out.

Konan watched him across the lake, turning to see Sasori, now sprinting all-out across the bank towards him. She watched as Deidara seemingly hesitated, not moving, until Sasori had reached him -– and apparently punched him in the face. They both went sprawling to the ground.

Konan slid off the boulder with a gasp.

What the heck was that!? Is Sasori going to

fight

him!!? I thought they were just going to talk!! I shouldn’t have texted him, what the hell was I thinking!!

She started to run hurriedly along the shore, slipping and sliding and nearly twisting her ankle on the small rocks and logs as she went.

“Konan!”

She skidded to a stop, looking back to see Pain, striding towards her. She turned and started on her way back to him.

“Konan, you’re soaking wet!” he said, reaching out and staring down at her in surprise.

“It’s raining!” she said, teeth chattering, slipping and losing her balance on a rock.

“Hey,” he reached out and caught her, rebalancing her. “You look like you went

swimming

, though!” He grinned down at her.

“How did you know I was here?” she asked.

“I saw you when I dropped Sasori off,” he said, nodding towards the opposite shore. “Let’s go back. The bike’s parked close. You need to dry off, or you’re gonna get sick.”

“But, Sasori and Deidara are fighting!” she said anxiously, pointing across the lake where the two figures were still wrestling on the ground. “I texted Sasori when I found Deidara and he ran at him and hit him, and–” She gazed across the lake, jaw dropping. “They’re full on

fighting!

They’re going to hurt each other!”

Pain took her hand, then immediately yelped out – “You’re fucking

freezing!!

What the hell were you doing out here!?”

He started to walk quickly along the beach back to the path she’d taken down from the woods, leading her by the hand. His own felt almost burning hot compared to hers.

“But, what about them?”

Pain led her up the slope into the trees. “They’ll be fine,” he said reassuringly.

“What do you mean

‘fine’!?

That’s crazy!” Konan exclaimed, slipping a little on the pine needles.

Pain turned to face her, stopping, and sighed. “Sorry. I know it’s crazy. I know. I think I’m just used to them.” He smiled ruefully. “But could you please let me take you back to school? You look like you just fell off the deck of the Titanic, and I know you’re going to get sick if you don’t dry off.”

Konan laughed in spite of herself. “Okay, okay. But… I mean,

they’re

going to get sick too!”

“Oh yeah, they’re

fucked

. But that’s on them,” Pain said, grinning.

—

As Sasori ran at Deidara across the muddy beach, Deidara stood rooted to the spot, his phone held loose in his hand as he watched. Sasori’s face was blurry, impossible to read through the heavy rain. Deidara knew this was going to go one of two ways; he turned to face him, bracing himself for whichever was coming.

Sasori barrelled straight towards him. Deidara didn’t bother raising his hands. Sasori punched him in the face and crashed into him, sending them both flying. Sasori had so much momentum he rolled straight over him, skidding through the mud before he staggered up and ran back, tackling Deidara, who had just raised himself up on his arms, back down to the ground.

Sasori’s hands were grabbing and shoving everything they could reach, apparently unable to decide if he wanted to pull him up or push him down again. He straddled Deidara’s waist, closing his fists in Deidara’s jacket, jerking his torso up and smashed his forehead into Deidara’s, grabbing the back of his head, hand twisting in his hair, breathing hard into Deidara’s mouth.

Deidara closed his eyes, letting Sasori’s anger wash over him. He could feel him shaking against him, hands clumsy with cold as they ripped at his coat, manhandled him, cupped his face. Deidara felt him checking he was okay, checking he was in one piece, and then felt him getting furious again, shoving him back against the ground, shoving his face away.

Deidara raised his knee up, kicking Sasori off of him with a grunt and rolled away, running back, putting distance between them. Sasori stood up, his black jacket smeared with mud, his face pale, cheeks pink with cold, his eyes dark with fury, panting.

“What the FUCK is wrong with you!?” he yelled.

Deidara snorted in disbelief, clenching his fists angrily. “ME!? You’re the one that fucking—”

“YOU,” Sasori yelled over him. “What the fuck is wrong with YOU. Did you see it?”

Deidara just closed his mouth, looking at him. Sasori swallowed hard, nodding.

“Did you see it?” he repeated. “The ring I got for you?”

Deidara nodded.

Sasori shook his head and laughed. A hollow sound, swallowed up by the rush of the rain. Deidara could see his anger in every rigid line of his body.

“Of course you did. And you ran away. Like fucking

always

,” he spat. “Care to tell me

why?”

Deidara’s jaw tightened. “I needed time to think, hm.”

Sasori gave a sarcastic laugh, gesturing around them at the pounding rain, the desolate lake, the mud.

“In the rain? Without telling anyone where you’re going?” He took a step forward, pressing a hand to his chest. “Without telling

me

where, or why you’re leaving, and then not answering my fucking calls!?”

Deidara glared at him, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I didn’t

ask

you to come running after me. I’m fine,” he said mutinously.

Sasori just gaped at him speechlessly for a moment. “Deidara, we’ve been together for a

fucking YEAR.

You can’t still be pulling shit like this on me!”

Deidara tossed his head angrily, looking away. “I’m not ‘pulling shit’! I needed some fucking space to

think!

When are you gonna fucking listen to me!?”

He heard Sasori scoff behind him. “What is there to think about that’s so fucking crazy you have to run away to do it!? How much fucking space do you

need!?”

Deidara didn’t answer, rolling his eyes at the sky.

“Why did finding the ring freak you out?” Sasori asked in a good attempt at a casual tone of voice, plainly making an effort to get himself under control.

“I can’t tell you.”

“Why the fuck not!?” Casual tone out the window.

“Because you’re

you

, and you’re gonna make a big fucking deal—”

Sasori stomped towards him and grabbed Deidara by the jacket, pulling him around to face him.

“How can I

not

make a big fucking deal about my boyfriend fucking

running away

when he finds the promise ring I got for him!? How am I supposed to be totally chill about that!?”

Deidara bit the insides of his cheeks, glaring down at Sasori’s furious face, taking in how pale he was, the bloody red of his cheeks and his nose, his soaked hair, stuck in wet curls to his forehead.

“Just go back, alright?” Deidara said quietly. “You’re getting all wet, you’ll get a cold. Go back to school. I’ll be back soon.”

Sasori just stared at him, like he couldn’t believe his ears. “

What?”

“Go back, I’ll be fine.”

The hurt was obvious on Sasori’s face, flaring in his eyes like a flash of lightning, his lower lip pulling up in the middle. Deidara softened, leaning closer.

“I’ll come back, I promise.”

Sasori let go of him and stepped back, glancing away resentfully. “Who were you calling?” he asked.

“What?”

“When I came, you were on the phone. Who were you talking to?”

“Konan.”

Sasori snorted, nodding. “So you ignored my calls all day. All my texts. But you’ll talk to a girl you’ve known for, what, a month? Month and a half?”

“Don’t be a dick. You like her.”

Sasori ignored this. “Tell me why you freaked out when you saw the ring,” he said, staring hard at him.

Deidara swallowed, gazing back into Sasori’s grey eyes. His dark eyelashes were clumped together with rain, and his eyes were rimmed with red, like he’d been crying already. A cold vise of guilt closed in Deidara’s stomach as he sighed, preparing.

He had a sense of an inevitable, unstoppable impending disaster, like he was standing at the edge of the ocean as the water got sucked out all around him, receding into the distance, and he was just waiting for the tsunami to come roaring towards him.

“Because it’s a big deal,” he replied.

Sasori frowned, shaking his head as if to dislodge a mosquito. “Yeah, it’s a big deal… Funny thing is, I thought it would make you

happy,

not make you

fucking disappear

on me..”

“I didn’t disappear—”

Sasori snorted and rolled his eyes.

“— I just need time to

think

about it,” Deidara continued, trying to sound reasonable. “It’s a big fucking deal, Sasori. I didn’t realize you were thinking…”

“You didn’t realize I was thinking about marrying you?” Sasori said flatly.

Deidara’s jaw tightened at the condescending note he caught in it. “Yeah. I didn’t.”

Sasori just gazed up at him, shifting as his foot slipped in the mud. “Have you never thought about us getting married one day?”

Deidara said nothing, shifting his gaze to the lake.

He could hear Sasori’s breathing come louder, sharper. Their height difference was just a couple inches, but somehow it was always more noticeable when they were arguing. Deidara could sense Sasori fighting the urge to grab him and force his face down to look at him properly.

“Have you never thought about us being together after we finish school?”

Deidara looked back at Sasori. He could see the hurt in his face, plain as if it were written there. He felt his throat tightening and tears burning at the corners of his eyes, knowing it was his fault. But he wouldn’t lie to him.

“Not a lot, no.” His voice was soft.

Sasori froze. He seemed to have stopped breathing. He curled back a little, like Deidara had physically punched him in the stomach. Deidara was taking slow, deep breaths, feeling the wave pulling back to its limit, the last moment of quiet before the crash, the inescapable destruction, the end.

“Can I ask why not?” Sasori asked.

“I don’t like thinking about the future,” Deidara said with a small shrug.

Sasori pinched the bridge of his nose, hand on his hip in a very characteristic pose, trying to get himself under control.

“Okay. But you want us to stay together, right?”

Deidara glared at him, shoving his shoulder angrily.

“Of course I fucking want us to stay together! But just because I

want

it doesn’t mean we

will

.”

Sasori stared up at him, mouth open. He said nothing.

“You can’t control that!” Deidara exclaimed, his heartbeat pounding in his ears, his face heating up in anger. “You can’t control what’s going to happen! What, am I complete piece of shit for saying that even if like, 98% of me thinks we’ll stay together and we’ll be fine, there’s a totally fucking rational 2% of me that knows like, hey,

shit happens!

What if you change your mind, what if you cheat on me—”

Sasori burst out into a hollow, broken laugh, head tipping back to the sky, before his face twisted into anger again, fists clenching.

“Don’t you dare,” he hissed. “Don’t you fucking dare.” He shoved Deidara in the chest. “I don’t believe this. I can’t fucking deal with this over and over again.” He shoved him again. “I can’t fucking

breathe

without you, and you think I’m gonna

cheat

on you? What the fuck is wrong with you!? Don’t you DARE put any of this shit on me. This isn’t fucking about

me

, it’s about YOU, Deidara. Don’t put that on me.”

Deidara slapped his hands away, swallowing hard. “I’m just saying, even if we want it, there’s no way to

know—

”

“You’ve got one foot out the fucking door, is that what you’re telling me?” Sasori said, taking a step closer.

Deidara backed away. “No–”

“How can you expect us to stay together when you yourself don’t even fucking

believe we will?

What’s the point, for you? What the fuck are you even telling me right now!?”

“THIS is why I didn’t fucking talk to you about this!” Deidara yelled, shoving Sasori away from him. “This is your fucking

problem,

you…” He shook his head furiously. “Just because something might not last forever doesn’t mean it’s not good, or beautiful! It doesn’t mean it’s not

real!!”

Sasori’s chest was heaving; he was trembling with shock and rage as he yelled right back.

“What’s the

point

of falling in love with somebody,

how

can you fall in love with someone – how can you

let someone

be in love with you,

fucking insanely in love with you,

when you’re just fucking

waiting

for it to end!?”

Deidara growled, a raw animal sound escaping his throat as he buried his hands in his hair, at his absolute limit.

“Every fucking day with you is the best fucking day of my life, Sasori!”

he yelled, striding forwards and grabbing Sasori by the collar, shaking him. “

Every day

. I would die for you, don’t act like you don’t fucking know that!! Just because I’m realistic doesn’t mean I don’t fucking love you, and don’t you

dare

pretend for a second that it does!”

Sasori gazed up at him, breathing hard, his face impassive.

In a soft voice, so clearly heartbroken it made Deidara ache, he said, “I got you that ring because I want to be with you forever. Because I

know

we’ll be together forever

.

And I got it for you because, ironically, I thought that’s what you

wanted

from me, too.”

He pushed Deidara’s hands off of him, stepping back.

“I thought you wanted some kind of proof that I’m not going anywhere. But I guess I was way off, huh?”

Deidara just stared into his face, into the line of hurt between his eyes, seeing the tears building in his eyelashes.

“The ring I got for you… when you saw it, did it look like fucking

handcuffs

to you or something?” he asked, his voice breaking.

Deidara couldn’t speak. After breathing hard for so long, it felt like he couldn’t breathe at all any more. He saw Sasori realize he wasn’t going to deny it, watched his face crumple as he closed his eyes, letting the tears spill down his face.

Watching him, Deidara felt as if his stomach was being cleanly scooped out, leaving him empty, a ruined husk below his breaking heart.

“How can you even

think

that way!?” Sasori asked between ragged breaths.

Deidara clenched his fists, determined to say everything he had to, to get it all out.

“We’re fucking

seventeen years old

, Sasori!

You’re

the one who’s fucking crazy, thinking about getting married, about

forever—

”

Sasori stared at Deidara, eyes blazing, tears and rain streaming down his face.

“I LOVE YOU,” he yelled, his anguished voice tearing out of him. “I’M GOING TO LOVE YOU

FOREVER

. FOR THE REST OF MY FUCKING LIFE BECAUSE I CAN’T FUCKING STOP. I CAN’T FUCKING

ESCAPE

YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT.”

He dropped to his knees in the mud, crying, shaking his head. Deidara stared at him, lost for words.

“I don’t fucking get it,” Sasori gasped, tears falling into his lap. “I just don’t fucking

understand

you.”

Deidara was crying too, tears flowing hot down his cheeks, hands stupidly at his sides as he watched his boyfriend cave in on himself.

“You spend half the fucking time we’ve been together saying you don’t believe I love you. No matter what I fucking said or did, you’re always testing me, asking me to

prove

that I love you, that I’ll never leave you, saying you don’t trust me.”

Sasori’s voice broke again as he clutched his face.

“And then when I get you

this,

when I’m right here fucking standing up and showing you that I want to be with you, just you, only you,

forever,

that I have no fucking intentions of going anywhere — YOU’RE the one who fucking runs!?”

He shook his head slowly.

“You’re always,

always

running away from me,” said, sounding so defeated. “It fucking kills me, Deidara. It just fucking kills me, every time, and you

know

it will and it’s like you never give a shit. You can’t keep doing this, you just

can’t,

I can’t fucking take it.”

Deidara watched Sasori crying over him, feeling as if his heart was tearing itself apart. He wanted to bend down to him, cup his face, press his forehead against his, kiss him, apologize, say he didn’t mean any of it. Wanted it so badly it was like he was resisting the pull of a magnet.

“SAY SOMETHING!” Sasori screamed furiously. “Say it’s fucking over if you want to, say whatever the fuck you have to say, but don’t just…”

He shook his head, choking and shuddering on his knees in front of Deidara.

Deidara completely broke down, shaking and crying, staring down at Sasori as the tears fell hot and fast from his eyes.

“I hate that I’m doing this to you,” he sobbed. “I hate that I

can

do this to you. I never wanted this.

This

is what I’m scared of, Sasori! I’m scared that we’ve only been together for one fucking year and I can break your heart without

meaning

to, and it’s killing me watching you like this.”

“Oh, it’s killing YOU?” Sasori yelled, wiping his face with a sleeve, his eyes red-rimmed and raw as he glared up at him.

He got to his feet, trembling, and turned away from Deidara, taking deep breaths as he walked away, staring out at the uneven surface of the lake, pitted and rippling under the cascade of cold rain.

“How is it a fucking

surprise

to you that you can break my fucking heart?” he said. “You’ve gotten pretty fucking good at it! You’ve had a lot of fucking practice!”

Deidara glared at him. “That’s not —”

“Flying off to fucking Germany without a word, always running away, pulling away from me, leaving me to chase after you,

beg

you to come back to me. You ever wonder what that’s like for me?”

Sasori pressed a clenched fist to his forehead, eyes squeezed shut.

“

How

can you do this to me, Deidara?” The ‘how’ sounded like a heartbroken, begged question to the universe.

Deidara moved to him, knowing Sasori would pull away or hit him, but not caring, completely unable to bear staying where he was. He bent over, pressing his forehead onto Sasori’s shoulder. Sasori stayed rigid, but didn’t turn, didn’t move.

“I think something’s wrong with me,” Deidara mumbled against him.

“You don’t fucking say.”

The mocking tone in Sasori’s voice pissed Deidara off. He knew he only said it like that

to

piss him off, and was angry that it had worked, despite everything else. He shoved him forwards, turning and walking away.

“I’m

trying

to fucking explain. I’m

trying,

” he spat, jamming his hands in his pockets. “I can’t trust fucking

anybody

to stay with me. I don’t know the fuck why, but I can’t! I can’t,” he said, fury roaring like magma back to the surface, feeling everything he’d been trying to figure out just exploding out of him.

“I’m scared, all the time, that something’s going to happen. So I keep people out, if I can. And in the back of my mind, I always think they’re going to fucking leave anyway, and I just am always waiting for that day, because I

know

it’s going to come.”

Sasori turned to him and just watched him, mouth slightly open. Deidara stared at the ground, clenching his sleeves in his fists, trembling.

“If I prepare for that, even just like 2% prepare for that, then it feels like something I can anticipate, something I can control. Because I

can’t

control what’s going to happen, and I can’t fucking deal with that. I just can’t.”

He looked up at Sasori, desperate for him to understand him, just this once.

“I don’t know

why,

but it fucking scares the shit out of me that I don’t know what’s going to happen. And you ARE going to leave me, at some point—”

Sasori opened his mouth angrily, ready to argue back, but Deidara shouted over him.

“You’re going to DIE one day! You can’t fucking say you never will.

I’m

going to die. You could get sick, you could get fucking hit by a car, and if I don’t hold onto that 2% of knowing it’s IMPOSSIBLE to be together forever, that it’s IMPOSSIBLE that NOTHING will ever happen to us, I think I’d fucking

break apart!”

He covered his face with a shaking hand. “I KNOW it’s stupid! I know holding onto that won’t stop you from dying, or me dying, or, or you fucking leaving me because I’m such a fucked up piece of shit mess and I keep on hurting you over and over…”

He was breathing in ragged gasps, barely intelligible through his crying, eyes clenched shut, digging his nails hard into his palms.

“My world would completely fall apart if that happened. And it feels like I can

stop

it, if I just hold on, hold on tight enough. But I just can’t say

forever

. I can’t just trust that

nothing

is ever going to happen to us, because no matter what I do, something ALWAYS will.”

Each breath seared in Deidara’s chest as he panted, leaning his hands on his knees, trying to wipe his eyes.

“You’re fucking crazy,” Sasori breathed, shaking his head, staring at him.

A small, surprised laugh burst from Deidara through his tears.

“You’re insane,” Sasori continued. “Why are you like this!?”

“I don’t fucking know!!”

Deidara yelled.

They stood, panting and staring at each other, twenty feet apart on the muddy bank, Sasori pale and red-cheeked in the cold, Deidara’s long hair soaked, his bangs plastered to his face.

“Marry me.”

Deidara stared.

“What!?”

Sasori stepped forwards, his heavy breaths slowing. His eyes didn’t leave Deidara’s face as he got down on one knee.

“Will you marry me?”

Deidara’s mouth opened and shut soundlessly as he watched Sasori unzip his pocket and pull out the grey velvet box, flipping it open to show the silver ring sitting in it, the satin darkening with rain.

“It’s… it’s a promise ring.”

“I don’t fucking care,” Sasori said simply, holding it up. “Will you marry me, will you promise to marry me?”

Deidara continued to stare at him. “What about… what about everything just now?

“

I don’t care

,” Sasori repeated. “You’re crazy. You drive

me

fucking crazy. I don’t give a shit if

you

don’t believe in forever, as long as

I do,

and as long as you spend every single one of your fucking days next to me.” His gaze was softening at the edges, but still blazing, his eyes locked onto Deidara’s, jaw set. “

Will you marry me?”

Deidara wasn’t looking at the ring, just at Sasori, his face burning with furious, determined, stubborn, unyielding, overwhelming, inescapable love.

“Yeah.”

Sasori stared up at him, chest rising and falling rapidly. He didn’t move for a minute. Then he got to his feet, closed the ring box, not taking his eyes off Deidara as he started forwards, slipping on the muddy bank as he ran, picking up speed.

Deidara started to cry all over again watching Sasori race towards him, seeing his face lit up, open, indescribably, radiantly happy, smiling back, unable to help it even if he’d wanted to.

For the second time, Sasori crashed straight into Deidara and tackled him to the ground.

He was holding Deidara’s face tight, crushing his forehead against his own, staring into his eyes, whispering,

“Really, really, really?”

until Deidara seized him by the back of his head, holding him still, kissing him harder than he ever had before, as they held each other tightly in the pounding rain.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

When Konan and Pain got back to school, Konan immediately stumbled into the shower, but had to turn the temperature way lower than normal to avoid feeling like her body was burning. After warming up and washing her hair, she wrapped herself up in her winter pyjamas, socks, slippers, and a dressing gown and rolled back into bed. She fell asleep almost at once, and missed dinner. The next morning, she was woken by a gentle knock on her door.

Pain poked his head in. “Hey, I was just seeing if you’re coming down for breakfast today.”

“Good morning,” Konan said. Although, what came out was actually more like ‘

good bording’.

Her nose was completely stuffed up. She gave a huge sniff, to no effect.

“Oh, my god,” Pain said, laughing. “You’re sick!”

“Do I’b dot,” she mumbled, sitting up a little. “I’b fide, I just can’t feel by dose.”

Pain was leaning on the doorframe, shaking his head. “I’ll let Shizune know. She can bring up some medicine.”

“It’s just a cold!”

“No,

that’s

what killed the dinosaurs.”

Konan sniffed again, reaching for the tissue box on her bedside table and blowing her nose loudly. “But, I really wanted to… I wanted to pick up where we left off… od da tree…”

Pain was grinning broadly at her. “Uh huh?”

Konan pouted. “You were going to kiss bee! I was so excited! I can’t be sick!”

Pain examined his nails, smiling. “I don’t think I was going to kiss a

bee,

actually. I like them, but not

that

much. Besides, I already

did

kiss you.”

“Kiss bee bore!”

Pain just shook his head, laughing.

“How can you dot want all dis? Cub here! Cub here to bee!” Konan said, opening her arms, giggling and then immediately coughing roughly.

“You’re kind of a vector of infection right now, sweetie. I’ll be happy to pick up where we left off once you’re better.”

“Coward! Don’t rud away from bee!” Konan called jokingly, shaking her fist as he left.

“You gotta focus on getting better for the dance showcase!” he called as he closed the door.

“Oh doh! I forgot!” Konan clapped a hand to her forehead, which she noticed was kind of hot and sweaty. “Oh doh… baybe I ab a bit sick…”

Half an hour later, Shizune came up wearing a medical mask to take her temperature, and gave her a Gatorade, Dayquil, and Nyquil. Pain reappeared after breakfast, also wearing a mask, and put a mug of tea and a container of soup on her bedside table before retreating in the face of a coughing fit, holding two pencils up like a crucifix.

Konan drank the tea, took a Dayquil, set herself up with her laptop and

Seinfeld

, and was about to fall back asleep when her phone vibrated a couple times. She dug it out from under her blankets and saw a message each from Sasori and Deidara.

Sasori:

Forgot to say – he said yes! omg omg Super crazy, excited to tell u about it. ;) Staying out, back in 2 ish days, pls water my plants x

Deidara:

back in 2 days :)

Konan smiled, rolling her eyes at the characteristic differences in their texts, but relieved that everything was okay. She closed her eyes.

–
 
Sasori and Deidara had caught a bus from the road not far from the lake. The driver hadn’t been too impressed when they stepped aboard, completely soaked and covered in mud, but agreed to let them on if they sat on some newspaper. They bussed into town. Sasori stopped in at a pharmacy to get lube, snacks, and the kind of body wash, shampoo and conditioner Deidara liked while Deidara booked them into a hotel and ordered take-out. It was a semi-familiar routine at this point.

Deidara was already in the shower by the time Sasori got back, having picked up the second key from the front desk. Sasori toed off his soaked converse and flipped them over on the shoe tray to drain. He chucked the lube onto the bed and headed into the steam-blurry bathroom. He peeled off his clothes, dropping them onto the muddy pile Deidara had started, and stepped into the shower to join him. He set the bodywash, shampoo, and conditioner down.

Deidara reached out for him. His hands were burning against Sasori’s skin. He slowly shifted around so Sasori was under the spray of water. It was lukewarm, but he was so cold, it felt burning hot. Sasori flinched away. Deidara closed his eyes and ran his hands slowly over Sasori’s back, warming the skin until it could tolerate the temperature. Slowly they turned it up higher until it was hot. Sasori sighed, tilting his head back under the spray. He pushed his hands through his hair, then reached for Deidara, pulling him in and turning again, so they were both under the water, facing each other, Sasori’s hands stroking the back of Deidara’s head, his hair, his shoulders, Deidara’s hands reaching for Sasori’s waist, running up his back, sliding down.

Sasori reached for the body wash and poured some between his hands, lathering it up. He looked up into Deidara’s cool blue eyes, then dropped his gaze to the red mark on his cheek where Sasori had hit him. He stretched up to kiss it, his soapy hands going to Deidara’s chest, moving across it, pushing him to turn around so Sasori could see his back. He ran his fingers across the scattering of purpling bruises from when he had shoved him to the ground, again and again. His hands slid across them, thumbs digging gently into Deidara’s shoulders, massaging, then travelled down, around his sides, pulled him into a back hug as they rotated slowly under the shower.

Sasori kissed across Deidara’s shoulders, pressed his face into his skin, felt Deidara’s hands come up to hold his arms in place around him, then to lift them up as Deidara turned again to face him, his hands taking Sasori’s face gently, thumbs swiping across his cheeks. Deidara lowered his face to kiss Sasori under the spray of the water, softly, kissing and kissing again, gently sucking at his bottom lip, kissing the edge of his mouth, kissing his cheeks, his eyelids, his forehead, his nose, his chin as Sasori rubbed his back.

Deidara poured some body wash and started to lather up Sasori. He knelt in the shower, looking up at him as his hands ran up and down his thighs. Deidara kissed him right at the top of his thigh, across the soft skin there, rested his face against Sasori’s half-hard dick, sighing, before standing, running his hands across Sasori’s stomach, chest, shoulders. Sasori poured out some of the shampoo, rubbed it between his hands and kissed Deidara softly again before pushing his shoulders down gently until Deidara turned and sat down on the floor of the shower as Sasori’s hands slipped into his hair, lathering the shampoo through it all, bundling it together, and then massaging his scalp, cupping the back of his neck, rubbing out the tension there. Deidara tipped his head back and sighed. He stood up to rinse it out before Sasori did the same with the conditioner before they swapped, Deidara washing Sasori’s hair.

They didn’t speak. Didn’t need to. They met each other’s gaze, turning or changing positions or just being close, and they were always touching; Deidara’s hand on the Sasori’s hip or rubbing his back, Sasori pressing his head against Deidara’s chest, Deidara’s arm slung around him, stroking his back with a slow thumb. Sasori zoned out, just focusing on the warmth of Deidara under his hands and lips, watching his skin getting its colour back, then turning pink in the heat of the water.

After thirty minutes, they turned off the shower and stepped out together, towelling dry. Deidara put on his robe; Sasori didn’t bother. Deidara turned on the TV to something mindless. Sasori asked him what he wanted to eat. A routine they knew. Deidara always wore his robe; Sasori never did. They never watched TV. They wouldn’t be eating until after. Deidara got into bed. Sasori moved the lube to the bedside table and joined him.

Normally Sasori would move to Deidara’s side, slip under his arm, lean on his chest, roll on top of him, but this time Deidara moved first, closing the distance between them, opening his robe for Sasori to snuggle into, sharing body heat as they waited for the crisp sheets to warm up with them. Deidara’s thigh pushed between Sasori’s and he slid his arm beneath Sasori’s shoulder, wrapping him up in a close embrace, one hand cupping the back of Sasori’s head, pressing him into the hollow of his neck, holding him gently and lovingly as a baby. Sasori breathed in slowly, inhaling the scent of the honey body wash, the coconut shampoo, and Deidara. The faintly smoky smell he always seemed to carry, like he was on fire. He kissed his neck softly as Deidara rubbed his back.

Slowly the air between them warmed up with them, and Deidara pulled Sasori across to his chest, nosed across Sasori’s face, eyes closed, knowing where to go and finding his mouth at once, opening his mouth for him, breathing him in, starting gently as he always did when he was sorry. Sasori let him in, hands pushing Deidara’s wet hair from his face, nodding as Deidara slipped his tongue in, just losing themselves in each other, time spilling like sugar through fingers as they kissed, sighed into each other, hands slow and warm on each others’ bodies until Deidara, listening to the pace of Sasori’s breathing, raised himself up on his elbow, rolling Sasori onto his back, one arm still wrapped around Sasori’s waist, holding him close, and shifted himself on top of him.

Sasori hummed softly as he felt Deidara’s dick, hard and pinned between them, Sasori’s rubbing against Deidara’s hip as he shifted. Deidara kissed Sasori deeply, pressing a hand to his cheek, stroking. They were always soft with each other after a big one. Sasori’s arms slipped up around Deidara’s shoulders, pulled him in and held him close, hand tangling in his hair, rubbing the back of his head. Deidara’s kisses slipped sideways across Sasori’s cheek, travelled under his jaw, down his neck as he dipped lower, beneath the blankets. Sasori shivered as Deidara’s wet hair left cool trails down his chest as he slid out of sight, Sasori feeling his weight shift down the mattress as Deidara’s hands reached low, rubbing over Sasori’s thighs before his hot mouth enveloped the head of Sasori’s cock, sliding down.

Sasori gasped, groaning, reaching down below the blankets to bury his hands in Deidara’s hair, stroking his head softly as Deidara lowered his mouth all the way down, tongue licking upwards and around slowly, before sliding back up, a hand coming up to hold the base, pumping up and down loosely as his mouth returned to the top, sucking softly, tongue circling as his head bobbed up and down.

Sasori sighed and gasped as Deidara alternated the hand and mouth combination with moving his hands to working into Sasori’s thighs, pushing them up, spreading him out, and burying his face entirely in him, the head of Sasori’s dick hitting the back of Deidara’s throat, Deidara making those muffled huffs and tiny groans Sasori knew so fucking well, knowing exactly what he was thinking, exactly what he was feeling, knowing what he was going to do before he did and loving it.

Sasori tipped his head back and moaned as Deidara just rested right up against him, nose buried in his skin, tongue sliding up and down Sasori’s dick, entirely swallowed by him, hands massaging his thighs then slipping up to work at his nipples softly. Deidara raised his head, lips popping off, bending down again to kiss up the shaft, sighing into him.

Sasori whimpered, pulling at Deidara and he came obediently, crawling up the bed, knees either side of Sasori until they were pressing either side of Sasori’s head, propped against the pillows, pinning him against the headboard, and Sasori opened his mouth for Deidara’s cock, which slid right in as Sasori’s eyes fluttered closed, moaning at the taste, at the hand Deidara buried in his hair, at the feel of Deidara’s ass and the hair on his thighs as his hands ran across them. Deidara thrust into his mouth slowly, groaning and sighing as Sasori did exactly what he knew he liked, moving his tongue and grazing the shaft with his teeth.

Deidara pulled all the way out, holding the head against Sasori’s lips. He looked up, already knowing Deidara was looking down at him. Their gaze held as Sasori licked his lips, rubbed them across the head of Deidara’s dick, circled it with his tongue. Deidara’s hand came down, gripped the base of his cock and smacked Sasori’s cheeks with it gently, how he knew he liked, dragging the head across Sasori’s mouth as he whined, opened up, begging for it, then thrust back in, Sasori groaning, eyes rolling back as Deidara’s cock filled his mouth, hitting the back of his throat, his nose buried in Deidara’s trimmed pubes, breathing him in, clutching his ass, pushing him in further, forcing him to

stay. Just stay.

He panted against him as Deidara swore, hand tightening in Sasori’s hair.

“Fuck…. Fuck….”

Deidara exhaled hard, pulled out and immediately dropped, tipped Sasori’s wet mouth up, kissing, licking into him, forcing his tongue in, holding his head tight while his other hand lowered beneath the sheets and grabbed Sasori’s dick. He hummed into Sasori’s mouth appreciatively as Sasori gasped, his hips bucking as Deidara tightened his grip, wrist loose and relaxed as he pulled up, stroking him at just the right pace. Sasori turned his head, breath hot against Deidara’s cheek.

“Me?”

Deidara shook his head, biting gently at Sasori’s neck. “No, I want to.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Sasori grinned. “Okay.”

He rolled Deidara over until he was under him, hair splayed against the pillows, cheeks flushed, looking up at him, grinning as Sasori reached across to the bedside table, opening the bottle of lube, squeezing a good amount onto his hand, capping it and tossing it onto the bed. He shifted Deidara’s right thigh up onto his shoulder, kissing across his belly, following his happy trail down, reaching his hand up and circling his asshole with a lubed finger, taking Deidara’s cock into his mouth when he gasped and twitched.

Deidara’s hand found Sasori’s hair again, and Sasori closed his eyes, mouth stretched around his length, humming in response to Deidara’s gasp as Sasori slid his finger in, then a second one. Deidara moaned, bucking his hips, dick hitting the back of Sasori’s throat and Sasori moaned in response, stroking himself with one hand as the fingers of his other hand pumped in and out of Deidara, stretching him slowly, adding a third as he relaxed. Deidara moaned low, then whined, and Sasori laughed, as he always did, around Deidara’s cock, and Deidara softly told him to go fuck himself, as he always did.

When Deidara was ready, Sasori raised his head up, lips popping off and yanked him down the bed, how he knew he loved it. Sasori lubed himself up, and Deidara raised both his legs up to Sasori’s shoulders, gazing up at him, cheeks pink, mouth open, lips swollen, eyes half-lidded, dazed, and Sasori leaned down, positioning his cock with one hand, pushing in. He pressed his forehead into Deidara’s hard as he entered him slowly, hissing as Deidara gasped, staring into each other’s eyes, breathing into each other’s mouths.

“Come on,” Deidara murmured, biting at Sasori’s lower lip.

Sasori grinned, and started moving, thrusting smoothly, capturing Deidara’s mouth, sliding their tongues together, the sting of his weight resting on his hands keeping him grounded against the slick, unbelievable tightness, the heat of Deidara’s body, being so completely wrapped up in him. He pressed in, his hips landing flush against Deidara’s ass and Deidara moaned, grabbed the back of his neck, pulled him

closer,

his other hand wrapped tight around his own dick, stroking in time with Sasori’s thrusts as he began to pick up the pace, grinning as he watched Deidara’s head tip back, his mouth open, his eyelashes fluttering, listened to the sounds he made.

Sasori raised himself up on a knee and pulled Deidara further down the bed, forcing his knees further back either side of his head and Deidara gasped, moaning louder. Sasori folded low, kissing and licking at Deidara’s nipple, his hips snapping forward rhythmically. Deidara’s nails found Sasori’s thighs, scratching down as he arched upward.

“Kiss me, kiss me,” Deidara panted, pulling him up and Sasori obeyed, leaning up and falling into Deidara, their mouths crashing together, Deidara opening his mouth for Sasori’s tongue, breathing hard into him as Sasori’s hips thrust faster, each one punctuated by a gasp from Deidara.

Sasori felt the familiar coiling in his lower belly and groaned, pulling back, gazing down at Deidara, whose eyes were tight shut.

“Look at me,” Sasori breathed.

Deidara opened his eyes right away, finding Sasori’s and gazing hard at him, his mouth open, lips swollen and red.

“Fuck,”

Sasori hissed, grabbing the back of his head, pressing their foreheads together, fucking into him faster. His other hand replaced Deidara’s, stroking his cock fast and tight. Deidara groaned loudly, back arching, body twisting, his legs locking behind Sasori’s shoulders.

“I wanna be yours,” Deidara breathed, panting into his mouth, his hands running over Sasori’s waist, up to his shoulders.

Sasori growled, dipping low and kissing him hard.

“You

are

mine, forever,” he whispered, and Deidara tipped his head back, moaning as Sasori thrust in

hard

, pace slowing as his hips snapped into Deidara’s ass, deeper than ever, clapping together again and again and again.

“

I’m gonna come,”

he hissed and Deidara nodded against him, panting in his ear, hand covering Sasori’s over his cock, pacing with him.

Sasori gasped, body jerking as he came, twitching and falling into Deidara’s shoulder, sucking desperately at his neck as Deidara came hard, too, ropes of cum spurting across his own chest as he whimpered, eyes rolling back. Sasori lowered himself as Deidara’s shaking legs slid off his shoulders, but stayed inside him as he bent over Deidara’s chest, licking up his cum. Deidara laughed weakly, shoving at him.

“Don’t do that…”

Sasori ignored him, licking up the last of it and swallowing as he pulled out gently, Deidara groaning as Sasori’s cum spilled out of him. He looked up. Deidara lay beneath him, breathing hard, his body pink, sweaty, eyes blown out, lips swollen. Fucking

pornographic.

Sasori shook his head, panting and smiling, brain just barely starting to work again.

“I love you.”

Deidara smiled back, beckoning him back in. Sasori raised himself up and fell into his boyfriend’s arms. They pulled the blanket up, rolling together, legs intertwined, arms wrapping up in each other, both breathing hard, sweaty, feeling their heartbeats against each other, Sasori’s head buried in Deidara’s neck, his hands in his soft hair.

“I love you, too,” Deidara whispered. “I love you so fucking much.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“ACHOO!!” 
Konan blew her nose and lay back against her pillow with a groan. She had been bed-bound for two days. A seasonal cold had been sweeping the student body, and spending several hours freezing cold in the rain hadn’t helped her immune system any. Konan had been trying to keep up with homework, but spent most of the days napping, her head feeling like it was stuffed with cotton.Hidan, Kisame, and Pain had entertained themselves at her expense for much of the first day by getting her to repeat phrases, laughing at the result of her stuffed-up nose and irritated sinuses; she had gone through ‘keep on keeping on’ (keeb od keebing od), ‘happy birthday’ (habby birday), and even the opening to ‘The Next Episode’ (one, doo, dree and doo da four, Snoop Doggy Dogg and Dr Dre are ad da door). She had been more concerned about missing dance practices with Hidan, but he wasn’t worried at all, saying that she’d have to come down with the black plague before they were in any danger of doing badly. She wasn’t so sure, but he flat-out refused to come near her until she was no longer dripping snot like a faucet (his words, not hers).Pain had come round, wearing a mask, to drop off her dance costume. The fourth year fashion design students had created all the dance costumes for their class as a project– Konan was relieved hers seemed to have been made by someone who knew what they were doing.She tried it on– it was deep plum, long sleeved, tight-fitting to the hips where it dropped into a flowy mid-length asymmetrical skirt on the right side, and a sparkly purple bikini on the left side, with a sheer fabric cutout holding it together, creating a dramatic side view.She came out of the bathroom to show Pain, sitting by the window. He whistled through his mask. “Smokin’.” She gave an enormous sneeze, blowing her nose noisily into a tissue. “Slightly kills the vibe, but you still look good,” he said, giving her a thumbs up and retreating from the germs.Sasori and Deidara were away for two days, and when they returned on the third day, they were both just as sick as Konan. She had squealed herself into a coughing fit to see Deidara wearing the silver ring when she saw him for the first time since they got back, much to his embarrassment.Figuring they were all sick and it couldn’t hurt, the three of them shoved Sasori’s bed through the door, pushing it up against Konan’s to make a mega-bed, and they all rolled up into dressing gowns and slippers, cuddling together and sharing a tissue box and Advil, watching Sex and the City. Pain came in at lunch with soup and tea for Konan and did a comical double-take at the three of them under the blankets in the mega-bed, waving at him.“Hey, where's our lunch?” Sasori asked, miffed, as Pain passed Konan the container of soup, placing the thermos of tea on her bedside table.Pain snorted. “I didn’t realize you were here. You know, you’re probably making each other worse… and it smells like one big armpit in here. No offense.”“We’re offended,” Sasori said coolly.“But now that you know we’re here you going to get us any soup?” Deidara asked, blinking hopefully.Pain scratched his jaw. “Let’s see… probably not.”“Boo! boo! Stingy!” Sasori said, shaking a fist. “We were your friends first, you ingrate!”“Cough on him!” said Deidara, and they both started hacking and coughing violently.“Oh, gross, keep your nasty germs to yourself…” Pain groaned, backing up and retreating out of the room. “Now I’m definitely not bringing you any! ”“Oh no! Soup, please! Soup! Soup! Soup!” Sasori and Deidara chanted until Pain had shut the door on them, rolling his eyes. “You wanna share mine? I don’t think I can finish the whole thing by myself,” Konan said.“Aw! A true friend!” “One for all and all for one!”“Hooray!” Konan cheered, feeling possibly a little high on the Dayquil.“Sooo,” Sasori said, leaning over as Konan blew on the surface of the chicken noodle soup, “He still hasn’t asked you out, huh?”“Not in so many words,” Konan sighed. “But he said he liked me! And he kissed me!”Deidara sat up, looking impressed. “Wow! I thought he was never gonna grow a spine. Go Pain!”“Oh, well… It was super cute, but it was just a peck. We were going to kiss properly, but there was an interruption.” Konan took a spoonful of soup and burned her tongue. “What interruption, hm?”“Sasori called to say you were missing.”“Oh. My bad.”“Sooo,” Sasori began again, propping himself up on an elbow and smirking at her, the effect partially ruined by his crusty red nose, “You must be pretty pent up, huh?”“Ooh, yeah that would be frustrating. He blueballed you, huh?” Deidara said, grinning as he leaned forward for a tissue.“Shut the fuck up,” Konan laughed, rolling her eyes.“Sasori, my man, I don’t know how safe it is to share a bed with Konan,” Deidara said in a stage whisper. “She might be so desperate she’ll make a move on us in the night!”Sasori clapped a hand to his chest, gasping. “Where did I leave my rape whistle…?”
“Hey!”
–As soon as Konan was well enough, she returned to dance practices with Hidan in the mornings and evenings, falling back into the memorized steps and turns with more ease than she’d feared. As it turned out, what she should have been worried about catching up on was her end of term project for decorating the school for the winter holidays. She decided to be less ambitious with this one than she had with the Halloween one, and decided not to collaborate with another student, instead planning to create a ten-foot paper angel that would simply hang on the main entry wall. This still required her to fold several thousand pieces of origami, so in addition to her body being sore and exhausted every day from dancing, her hands were aching and she had to wear wrist braces in her other classes to try and help with the discomfort. Finally, the day of the dance showcase came. It was a bigger event than Konan had realized, to her horror; every single gym class was doing a dance unit, so all of them were showing routines, plus the actual dance classes were naturally doing their end-of-term showcase at the end of the evening. This was, in Itachi’s words, supposed to create a sense of camaraderie and foster a supportive community amongst the students, but really made everyone in the gym classes feel like a load of chumps, like amateur athletes doing forward rolls before olympians came out to do complete floor routines. The only pieces of good news about it were that afternoon classes were cancelled for the day to encourage everyone to attend the performances, and that it was not required to watch all the performances. Konan was planning to watch the people in her class only, and then immediately leave to go get dim sum All throughout her origami and drawing classes, despite the need to focus on her project in one, and her end-of-term portfolio in the other, Konan could barely keep her mind off the showcase, running through the routine in her head, hearing the song over and over in her head. Her thigh was jiggling so much in Drawing that Sasori actually stood up, walked over, and pressed it down to the ground in annoyance. “You’re shaking the tables.”“Sorry,” Konan said vaguely, staring into the middle distance.“It might be kinder to just tranquilize her until it’s all over. Make Hidan do a solo, hm,” Deidara suggested. “What if… what if my leg doesn’t go up… what if it does, but my outfit tears and then I’m just flashing everybody…. What if…” Konan murmured, staring intensely at nothing at all, visualizing each horrible scenario as it occurred to her.She could feel Pain, Sasori, and Deidara all giving her concerned looks.“Maybe a tranquilizer’s not a bad idea, but I’d definitely start with a joint,” Pain whispered to Sasori, who nodded as Deidara began humming ‘Don’t Worry Be Happy’ in her ear.“Aren’t you guys worried?” Konan asked.Pain shrugged and she scowled. “Okay, not you ,” she said, actually half-annoyed. “You never get nervous, you’re like some kind of bizzaro, unfeeling, still-pond-surface alien…” Pain made a face like he was getting called to the principal’s office and Sasori and Deidara exchanged grins. “Konan’s feeble mind is snapping…” Sasori sing-songed.Deidara patted her shoulder. “I get nervous, sure. It helps this is the second time I’ve done it. It also helps knowing that if you’re mediocre, nobody remembers you. So aim for being in the middle of the pack, and you’ll never be made fun of or recognized for your performance today.”Konan nodded. “Mediocrity,” she muttered. “Okay. For the love of god, mediocrity.”The three boys raised their eyebrows at each other.At lunch, Konan couldn’t eat anything. She just sat next to Hidan, her head rocking on his shoulder as he ate his sandwich, running through every single beat, every single step, muttering to herself. She nearly screamed when the bell rang. As they gathered up their things and headed to the performance stage where the showcase was taking place, Pain put a warm hand on her back. “You’re going to be fine, Konan,” he said reassuringly. “But you need to breathe , okay?” She stared up at him, biting her lips, then copied him as he took a deep breath in, held it, then exhaled. “Better?”“Yeah. Thank you.”He patted her on the head as they were shepherded into separate change rooms. “Good luck! I’ll be cheering for you!”The performances were in descending order by age, and since gym was only mandatory up to fifth year, their class was going first, because of course it was. Konan changed into her purple dance costume and fastened up her sparkly heels, her hands numb, mind blank. She caught Ino’s eye as she was stuffing tissues in the armpits to stop her from sweating through it before they even started. Ino grinned and showed Konan the tissues she had stuffed under her boobs through the centre cut-out of her silver outfit, and they laughed at each other. Konan relaxed a little as she sat next to Ino and Sakura on the long waiting bench to the side of the stage, hidden from the audience by long velvet curtains, both her head and Sakura’s resting on Ino’s shoulders as she read them their horoscopes off her phone in a peaceful voice. This quiet moment was shortly interrupted by the thunder of footsteps as the other gym classes and most of the student body filed into the seats facing the stage. Konan watched the lights change from white to blue to purple to yellow to green to red as the students in the tech box practised their changes. Her heart was beating so fast it felt like a hummingbird’s.She caught Hidan’s eye across the stage where he was chatting with Pain. He lifted his chin at her, giving her a wink, looking really good in his tight-fitting black pants and white collared shirt, which he had left open to mid-chest. She waved, then met Pain’s gaze. He was wearing a black shirt and jeans, very casual, and Konan realized that the only reason she had such an elaborate costume was because she had chosen to do samba instead of hip hop or something. She sighed: it was way too late for regrets.All too soon, Guy was racing along their row, giving them a ten-minute start warning and handing out lists of the running order. Konan and Hidan were going close to the end. Tsunade appeared backstage, wearing a flattering pantsuit and headed out onto the stage, catching a microphone from Jiraiya as she went. "Okay people,” she said to the crowd of gathered students, her voice echoing, “Today, our combined second and third, and fourth and fifth year Gym classes will be performing the original dances they have been working on all month, and the show will close with the end-of-term showcases from our Dance classes. I'm really excited to see everyone's hard work paying off, and I'm sure that all of you are, too,” she said, the last few words coming out a little threatening."But I don't want to hear any foul language, or booing, or anything like that. Only positive reviews are permitted in my school. I want you guys to cheer for everybody's performance, and the groups with the biggest cheers will be our winners. Any kind of screwing around will be met with detention for the rest of the year. Good luck to the dancers, and have fun, everyone!”She headed down the stairs and sat down in the audience. Konan was biting so hard on her lip she could barely feel it. Ino gave her a worried look and took her hand gently as the lights dimmed and the first pair – Karin and Suigetsu – took their positions on stage. As blue lights flashed, ‘Right Thurr’ by Chingy started playing and they began a hip hop routine. Suigetsu stepped on the string from Karin’s cargo pants part way through and they got into a silent argument, but managed to regroup and finish their routine. Sasori and Sakura were up next. Konan and the others cheered and clapped as they hit their marks, ready for the music, Sasori giving Konan a wink over Sakura’s head. They were both in black baseball caps and all-black outfits; Sasori in a black tee, Sakura in a cropped tank top. They did a really clean and funny hip hop routine to ‘Pick It Up’ by Famous Dex & A$AP Rocky, making silly faces and switching positions to keep the performance dynamic. “You were great!” Konan and Ino said as the routine ended and the pair came jogging backstage.The next couple did a pretty rough routine just following the instructions to ‘Cha Cha Slide.’ The group after that were over-ambitious, attempting a super difficult heels routine to a Britney Spears mix with a lot of floor work, but one of them didn’t have enough strength to get up from a deep squat, and fell over.Pain and Hinata were up next, and Konan realized with a jolt that she’d never actually asked Pain what they were doing. She waved at him as they headed onstage, and he grinned at her. Hinata was looking beautiful in a glittery lavender tank top and figure-hugging black flare pants. Her long indigo hair swayed behind her, free of her usual hoodie.The lights came on and lit the stage rose-pink. Pain held Hinata’s hand, and as ‘Rechazame’ by Prince Royce began, he twirled her into him and held her close as they began a Bachatà. It was a very intimate choreo, Pain holding Hinata super close as they swayed with the footwork, knees bent gently, his right leg between hers as their hips circled and met. He spun her out then back in smoothly, her hair whipping behind her. It was a beautiful routine, relatively simple but done really well. Konan imagined learning it and doing it with Pain herself, and was feeling very jealous of Hinata and her innocent lavender eyes, cute pink cheeks, and massive rack until she remembered Pain had been annoyed with how quietly she spoke, and that everyone in the school knew she had a massive crush on Naruto, anyway.They got a big cheer as they finished their routine and exited the stage. Sakura gave Hinata a hug as they returned and Konan gave Pain a double thumbs-up and fanned herself jokingly across the stage as he waved, grinning. Ino and Choji went next, setting up chairs on stage with the lights out and beginning offstage, coming out with the music to ‘Check On It’ by Beyonce, hips twisting as they walked to centre. Ino looked gorgeous in her silver one-piece costume with the stomach cut-out and a flouncy skirt with attached underwear – which they saw a lot of in the routine, as it involved a lot of hip rolls, twerking, and chairwork. Konan grinned, feeling she knew which of them had come up with the choreo. Choji kept up surprisingly well, tossing his hair and bumping his hips, the lights bouncing off his spangled shirt, but was about a beat behind for most of the song nonetheless. All too soon, it was Konan and Hidan’s turn. Konan hastily removed her armpit tissues, tossing them in the bin as she met Hidan’s nod with a harassed smile as she went to take her mark upstage and her friends whispered ‘good luck’. She took a slow, deep breath as she waited in the dark, one hand on the wall, Hidan offstage ready for his entrance. Her mind was blank. She focused on her breath, pretended this was a performance at her old dance studio. It’s going to be fine.  The lights went up and the first beats of ‘Baila Baila’ by Angela Via played. Konan’s body moved automatically, swaying her hips and doing a body roll, tossing her hair as Hidan came walking on stage, checking her out. She turned, he held her, and with the sforzando bounce of horns, she kicked her leg up and he caught it by his face, grinning. With the second sforzando horn note she bent back, supported by his arm, her leg still over him, then he brought her up for a quick kiss and they walked hand in hand downstage until the beat came back in and immediately went into samba footwork, twirling and spinning, hands coming together then apart, her skirt flying.
DJ turn it up, pump it loud, let's get wild, get your freak on the floor, that's what we came here for…
Her mind was mostly blank, but she was relieved to still be able to smile at Hidan, grinning as he hit his solo moment, circling his hips to a huge scream from the audience. They rejoined, twisting, hips bumping, coming together and apart, free arms in the air. Konan’s calves were burning already, but she ignored them, focusing on the music and the count in her head. Hidan squatted and held her waist as she worked her hips, circling him as he spun on his toes, the centre of her orbit before restarting on the foot work, apart and together, free hands in the air.
Papi I’m ready, come let’s go, my body’s hot and I need more, just work it high and work it low, you can pretend that it’s all yours…
Konan pushed Hidan down into a deep bend, where he supported himself with one hand, the other on her waist. He pulled himself back up slowly, coming up biting his lip as she grinned at him, before they thrust their hips into each other twice on the beat. Konan felt her face heat up at the loud scream from the crowd as they stepped out and back into the footwork again, twirling away.
I know you wanna feel me and you wind me like a toy, I like the way you’re moving and you shake it back and forth…
Hidan span her away then followed her, bending and shimmying as she put a hand to her head, the other out, doing a whole body shake and he met her and tilted back, shaking his shoulders as she tipped her head back.They stepped apart and together, shimmying again, then fell back into footwork, crossing the stage together for Konan’s solo part.
Feel the heat, bump and grind, pack it up, add some whine, shake it up, shake it down…
Hidan was on one knee, holding Konan’s hand, shifting across the stage following her, being silly and fanning himself, mouthing oh damn to make her laugh as she did her footwork backwards, hips working, holding her hair. Hidan span her twice, and then they were back to footwork, apart and then back together, crossing the stage again. He lifted her, holding her tight, one of her legs bent, the other straight as he spun her around. Feet back on the floor, they turned on the last steps, and on the final beats of the song, Hidan’s arm wrapped around her, her arm around his neck as he dipped and she ended in a half-split. They panted, staring at each other as the crowd cheered. Then Hidan made a stupid face at her and she laughed. The lights went down and he hoisted her to her feet. Her legs were jelly, and his clearly weren’t any better as they staggered together back upstage. “You did amazing!” she panted, leaning her head on his shoulder, waving at Pain who was clapping loudly, grinning at them.“Thanks, you too! We completely hosed these fucking nerds,” he said with a laugh, slapping her on the back as they broke apart.Konan staggered towards the changing room. There were only a couple groups left, the first of which was already taking up position on stage. As she pushed the door open, she heard the beginning of ‘S Club Party’ and smiled: a song that came with a routine would have been a much easier route to take. 
Lesson for next time: just do the Soulja Boy dance or something…
By the time she had changed into sweatpants and a hoodie and rejoined her friends backstage, it was Naruto and Sasuke’s turn, as they were closing the show for their class. Konan grinned, watching Sakura and Ino whispering eagerly to each other as Naruto and Sasuke took their places, wearing street clothes. Konan headed over to Sasori, Hidan, and Pain and flopped down on the bench next to them to watch. Sasori ruffled her hair.“You were really good!” he whispered.“Thanks, you too!”She looked back at the stage as Naruto and Sasuke were lit up in blue lighting, standing together.“I know you hookers don’t think this is over with,” Naruto said loudly, pointing out at the audience.“Hah! Let’s kick it old-school,” Sasuke said, and they high-fived as ‘It’s Tricky’ by RUN DMC faded in. “Oh my god!!” Konan whispered, excited, covering her mouth as she stared at the others. “They’re doing the White Chicks dance!!”Right on cue, Sasuke and Naruto hit the moves. The whole crowd was screaming as they did the flips, dips, puppet moves, breakdancing, and even the headspins. Konan was cheering and clapping with everybody else, laughing at their ending swagger moves, like they’d just scored a touchdown.The curtain went down so the classes could swap out. Konan, Hidan, and Pain went to find good seats in the audience to watch Deidara, Kisame, Itachi, and Kakuzu, who were all in the second set of fifth and fourth year gym classes. Konan felt much happier, actually excited to see the other routines, now that she was all done for the day. After twenty minutes, Asuma, the other gym teacher, came out to tell everyone to be quiet, as new dancers were starting.Tenten and Rock Lee, two fourth-years, began the next set with a perfect reproduction of the original choreography to ‘If’ by Janet Jackson, wearing matching black crop tops and cargo pants. After that, Temari and Shikamaru came out, dressed up as Mia Wallace and Vincent Vega and doing the twist dance from Pulp Fiction. Kisame and Anko Mitarashi, a girl with a spiky ponytail and long bangs, came out in full 90’s looks, doing a New Jack Swing choreo to ‘Finesse’ by Bruno Mars. Kakuzu and a girl with dusky red hair and a white headband came out to a huge cheer — possibly helped by the fact that Kakuzu was completely shirtless, showing off his muscles and scars. They did a crazy krumping routine to a song with a vibrating bass, popping and jerking and rolling. Two students Konan didn’t know did ‘ Single Ladies’ by Beyonce. Next up was Itachi, who was partnered with Mei. Konan couldn’t help looking her up and down, biting her lip unconsciously — Mei looked hot. She was wearing a high-cut black leotard over a sports bra with cut-off jean shorts, her long hair in a ponytail. Pain nudged her, laughing at her when she realized, blushing, that he’d noticed she was checking her out. She shoved him back playfully, rolling her eyes and grinning as ‘Get Busy’ by Sean Paul came on. Itachi and Mei’s routine was really well choreographed, but it was also kind of funny, just because of his personality, to watch Itachi, hands on his hips, throwing it back and crawling on the ground, popping his booty. They got a huge cheer at the end, Konan and the others joining in enthusiastically.Deidara and his partner, a girl with short black hair, dark eyes, and black winged eyeliner, were closing out the group. Konan and her friends screamed as they came onto the stage. Deidara was shirtless, just in black leather pants and a belt, showing off the sewn-mouth rune tattoo on the right side of his chest. Konan wolf-whistled and Sasori yelled “You’ll do great, sweetie!” at the top of his lungs. Konan snorted as Deidara’s eyes narrowed in their direction and he flipped them off with a grin before getting into position. Sasori shimmied his way out of their row, getting his phone out to film the dance, in full ‘Mean Girls’ mom mode, as ‘Insane’ by DPR IAN began. Deidara’s routine was really sexy. Konan covered her mouth, blushing as he and his partner thrust and rolled and gyrated over the stage, and when they both pulled off their belts, she screamed with the rest of the crowd as they wrapped them around their necks, then wrists, rolling their bodies as the music devolved into hot breaths flooding the theatre. When they finished, the theatre erupted into screams and clapping. After the others had changed and came back out, Tsunade announced that the top three performances from the fourth and fifth years, measured by volume of cheers, were Hidan and Konan (Konan buried her face in her hands as Hidan yelled ‘Fuck yeah!!” at the top of his lungs, throwing his fists in the air), Deidara and Kurotsuchi, and the winners were Sasuke and Naruto. Everyone cheered and clapped, and as the second and third years got ready, Konan and her friends headed out of the theatre to grab their coats, planning to take the bus into town and get dim sum. After dinner, Konan headed straight back to her room to have a shower, and headed into Sasori’s room. They’d planned to have a self-care evening together after the dance showcase, so when Deidara and Pain found them later, they were lying on Sasori’s bed, the room softly lit by string lights, watching 10 Things I Hate About You , wearing robes and face masks, drinking mimosas with mini folding umbrellas. Pain pulled up a chair to join in, Konan passing him a face mask and cucumber slices, but Deidara just laughed at them and left to hang out with the others.“Cheers to the dance showcase being over!” Konan cheered, clinking glasses with the others.“Amen,” Sasori said, rolling his eyes. “Cheers to never, ever, having to do it again,” Pain said, lifting a cucumber slice off his right eye so he could see them.“Hear hear!” “Cheers to me and my recording of Deidara’s sexy belt dance, which I can watch whenever I want, and can use to blackmail him forever!” Sasori said, waving his phone in the air. “Cheers!” Pain and Konan said, laughing.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

A couple days later, Konan woke up in the morning to see her breath fogging in front of her in the dark. “Jesus!” she exclaimed, sitting up and immediately regretting it – the air in her room was freezing. She gathered all her blankets around her like a floppy beetle shell and scuttled to her chest of drawers, hopping from foot to foot on the icy floor. She pulled on three pairs of socks, pulled up another pair of sweatpants over her pyjama bottoms, and pulled two sweaters on over her sleep shirt. She checked the time on her alarm clock and sighed – she had woken up two hours early. She put a hand by the radiator, frowning, but it was on – just feeble, apparently, in the face of the sudden cold snap. She padded over to the window and gasped: the fields surrounding the school were buried in snow, which was still falling thick and fast.All thoughts of going back to sleep gone, she hurried to her bathroom, taking all her blankets with her, and turned on the shower, waiting until steam filled the room to undress, then hopping in. She made a plan for the day as she shaved her legs, humming to herself, excited; the holidays were never a big deal for her, but she did love snow. Twenty minutes later, she was heading out of the dorm, wearing two pairs of thick wool tights under her uniform, a thick sweater, gloves, and a coat (as she had suspected, the hallways were also freezing). She got to the front doors right as Shizune, wearing a floor-length puffy coat and fluffy slippers, unlocked them, and ran out into the snow, laughing. She walked all around the school, taking pictures of the snowy building and snow-capped trees, and a few selfies of her trying to catch a snowflake on her tongue. She sent them to her mum in an email, with a message hoping it was snowing where she was, too. She was late to lunch, joining the others when they had mostly finished eating. “Were you outside?” Pain asked her, smiling and brushing snow out of her hair.“Yeah! It’s so beautiful out there!” she said, biting into a warm bagel. “I hope I can go out again before it melts, but I have to finish that stupid fucking angel,” she grumbled.“Ah, the Christmas spirit…” Sasori said, winking at her when she rolled her eyes at him.Much of the school had already been decorated as students finished their projects early, looking forward to spending the weekend on other things. There were huge silver snowflakes hanging from the ceiling, massive trees throughout the halls, decorated with blown-glass flowers and bells, woven stars, hand-made swans, and embroidered winter birds. One of the hallways was set up with a snow machine and glittery silver mist – the work of Mei and Itachi, Konan figured. There were beautiful murals of snow-capped mountains, ski resorts, reindeer, snowy owls, and old-fashioned cozy village scenes.Mistletoe had been positioned at strategic locations in the busy corridors, which seemed to make everyone overexcited, even though hardly anybody actually kissed under them. Most people who had a crush on someone seemed to gather there under increasingly suspicious pretences. It was hard to act natural when there were ten people standing around you, all also pretending to be looking for something in their bag, or pretending to be texting, eyes constantly flicking up to check for the person they were waiting for. In the end, it just created traffic in the hallways for no good reason. The only exciting thing that happened was that Sakura had shoved Naruto out of her way, straight into Hinata, who had been passing under the mistletoe. Hinata, who presumably had thought Naruto was barrelling into her for the purposes of a kiss, promptly fainted. Aside from spending all her spare moments folding her giant paper angel, Konan was attending extra practices for the holiday concert, as her choir class would be performing. She was relieved she didn’t have a solo, and wasn’t too stressed about it, but she had, in a moment of insanity, agreed to be in Ino, Sakura, and Temari’s performance of Jingle Bell Rock – the ‘Mean Girls’ version. They’d assured her that it was just a bit of fun, as hardly anyone actually comes to the choir performances anyway, so she wasn’t as stressed about it as she had been about the dance showcase, but she did have to get her costume together for it.The school had also set up Secret Santa candygrams for the last two weeks of school before the winter break. During first period, everyone was handed a small piece of paper with a name from someone in their year on it, and they had to send that person a candygram with some sort of secret or hint on it, so they could guess who you were. Once you solved it, you took a picture with your Secret Santa, and that picture was your ticket into the winter dance.Konan got Sasori, which made her laugh. She could probably think of a hint for him without too much trouble. She headed to the nearest candygram table, which was set up in the main entryway, chose a candy cane, wrote Sasori’s name on it, trying to disguise her handwriting, and then her hint: You’re a cross between Charlotte and Samantha. They had watched Sex and the City pretty recently, so it was probably a pretty easy one for him to get, but she didn’t want it to be too hard, anyway. She finished her angel after school, and Kurenai helped her to hoist it up and mount it on the wall. The next day, Naruto went class by class, dressed as Santa, handing out the Candygrams.“Ho, ho, ho!” he said, tossing one to Konan. She read her clue excitedly.
You have nip piercings. (They’re cute!)
Konan frowned down at the paper, starting to go pink. It could be any of her friends, but she wasn’t sure who among them would specifically bother to tell her they were cute. It was possible it was a girl in her gym class who might have seen something while she changed… or maybe somehow someone had overheard her friends talking about it, if they had done so? She was mystified. At break, Konan met the others in the main lobby outside the cafeteria, where a crowd had gathered around a photo booth that had been installed. It looked really cute – it had been decorated to look like a gingerbread house, complete with a door coated with ‘icing’. Friends and couples were going in to take their pictures, then sticking them up on the wall behind it. Konan bounced on the balls of her feet, grinning as she looked for people she recognized — Sakura and Ino had gone in, beaming at the camera, kissing each other on the cheek, doing peace signs. Sasori seemed to have managed to drag Deidara in, as there was one normal one of them smiling, and then three of them making out. Konan tried to catch Pain’s eye, hoping to go in with him, but before she could ask, Sasori slipped an arm around her and pulled her away from the group, against the wall.“Are you my Secret Santa?” he asked. Konan’s jaw dropped. “Hey! It was that easy!?”Sasori laughed at her. “Um, yeah, it was that easy. Nobody else I know watches that show, Konan.”“Well, Deidara watched it with us!”He just raised his eyebrows at her.She sighed, rolling her eyes. “Fine, fine. You need a picture?”“Please,” he said, raising his phone to take a selfie, his tongue sticking out. Konan copied him.“Thank you,” he said sweetly, patting her on the head, “for making it so easy.”“Yeah, yeah,” she muttered, turning to return to her friends, but Sasori held her back.“By the way, has Pain fucking asked you out yet?” he asked, keeping his voice low.Konan sighed. “ No.”  Sasori facepalmed.“But I mean,” Konan said hurriedly, “I was busy, and then he was going to, I think, but there was the whole thing with you and Deidara, and then I was sick, and then I was busy, and now…”“Konan, you’re an angel. If I were you, I’d have kicked him in the face by now for being such a blue-balling pussy.”Konan laughed. “Well, I mean, I could just ask him, though. I just haven’t found a good moment, I guess.”Sasori rolled his eyes. “You guys and your moments. ” He looked over at Pain, who was laughing at Hidan, who was trying to drag a very unwilling Kakuzu into the photobooth. “You going to get a photo with Pain in there?”“I mean, I’d really like to…” Konan said, blushing a little. “Or even, would you and Deidara take a picture with me? That could be fun…”Sasori ruffled her hair, giving her a tiny pitying smile that made her feel about two inches tall.“Babe, if you don’t have a picture with Pain by tomorrow, I’ll take ten with you. And they’ll all be me crying over how sad your situation is.”Konan snorted, then, catching Sasori’s expression, exclaimed, “Are you serious!?”“A thousand percent.”Konan rolled her eyes and walked away from him.
Okay. By the end of the day, I’ll have taken a nice picture with Pain. As friends. Or, if I’m really lucky, he’ll ask me out and then maybe we can take a really cute picture together…
Her eyes travelled back to the wall of photos. Sasori and Deidara kissing, Ino kissing Sakura’s cheek, Temari’s arms around Shikamaru, Asuma kissing Kurenai’s forehead… Konan felt herself turning pink, imagining getting a similar photo with Pain.
Whatever it takes!! Please, please, please… 
At lunch, Pain never appeared, apparently trying to finish a project in metalshop. That afternoon, they played dodgeball in gym class, and it was girls against guys, so she and Pain were on opposite teams and she barely had a chance even to say hi. After classes, she had to rush to the theatre for the choir performance. There was a much smaller crowd than there had been for the dance showcase, which was a huge relief, but her friends had kindly shown up, even though she’d only mentioned it to Deidara. They clapped politely after her class’s holiday medley performance, but were cheering and catcalling wildly when she, Ino, Sakura, and Temari took to the stage in their pleather Santa outfits and miniskirts to ‘Jingle Bell Rock,’ which meant she couldn’t keep a straight face and kept giggling throughout the performance. Hidan took a polaroid photo of her and the girls in their outfits, and she headed back to her room to add it to her collection while Pain headed back to the metalshop, muttering about an end-of-term project. Konan broke off a piece of scotch tape and looked for a good place for her latest photo. Her collection was getting pretty big — nowhere near the size of Sasori’s, but it was taking up a lot of space on the wall above her chest of drawers. There was the one of the boys posing and making stupid faces by her butt in the string bikini; Konan and Hidan posing like bodybuilders in their dance costumes; the one of all her friends linking arms; Pain winking with bunny ears; her, Sasori and Deidara drinking a milkshake; her, Itachi, and Kisame in a totem pose by the greenhouse; her and Sasori in facemasks, cucumbers over their eyes, holding mimosas; the one of her on Hidan’s shoulders after winning at pool; one of her looking pissed off in all her floaties from the swimming unit; Kakuzu holding her upside down, pretending to shake her for lunch money; Konan braiding Deidara’s hair on his bed; her on Pain’s motorbike; her, Sasori, and Deidara all tucked up sick in the megabed, and a selfie Pain had taken of them both on a night ride, sticking their tongues out at the camera. Her eyes fell on the silver stud in his tongue, shining in the camera flash, and she bit her lips, sighing. She flopped backwards onto the bed, closing her eyes. 
That day in the clearing… 
He had been so close, they had been so close. His hands cupping her face, his warm thumb stroking her cheek, his breath fanning gentle on her face as he had leaned in, the smell of him, so familiar, the warmth of his body, and if she’d just leaned forward a little more… His lips soft on hers as he leaned to kiss her through the opening in the motorbike helmet, but gone too fast… She imagined running her fingers through his hair, holding him still, their lips meeting, her mouth opening, imagined the cold metal of his piercing sliding against her tongue…She sat up suddenly, fanning herself.  Okay. Okay, It’s going to happen. We’ll take a picture. And then I’ll ask him out. I HAVE to, otherwise I’m just perving over my friend like a creep…  At dinner, however, Pain had an incredibly long conversation with Itachi about the plot holes in Lost, and Konan wasn’t able to get a word in . She looked across the table glumly at Sasori, shaking her head at him in answer to his inquiring look. He rolled his eyes in response.As they all headed out of the cafeteria after dinner, Konan, heart beating a little faster than usual with nerves, took Pain by the hand to hold him back. He smiled at her, raised an eyebrow. “What’s up?”“Um, I was wondering…”
God, this is so stupid. It’s just a picture. 
She took a deep breath. “Would you take a picture with me? Please?”A tiny frown crossed his face. “I’m not your Secret Santa, though.”Konan felt herself turning pink. “No, um… in the booth…” she said kind of lamely, gesturing at the wooden gingerbread house. His expression cleared at once. “Oh! Yeah, for sure!” “Really!? You will!?”“Yeah,” he said, grinning and giving her a funny look. “Have you been waiting to ask me or something?”She turned away, her cheeks reddening more. “...no…”“Aww,” he said, laughing and sliding an easy arm around her shoulders. “Sure, let’s take one.”Konan bit her lips, trying not to smile too widely, glancing around as he guided her inside the booth; nearly everybody had left the lobby by now, and there was no line for the booth, which was lucky. “Oh wow, this is so cool!” she said as the door shut behind them with a click and she sat down. It was surprisingly roomy for a photo booth, with a little bench seat, a glittery blue backdrop framed by velvet curtains on either side, and a little stand holding optional props, including santa hats and candy canes. The ceiling was criss-crossed with string lights. “Look at this, this is so fun!” she exclaimed to Pain, pointing at the moulding along the ceiling which had been made to look like icing, like they really were inside an actual gingerbread house. The walls themselves were also beautifully carved to look like giant biscuits.“You’re so cute,” he said, shaking his head and looking at the sheet of instructions taped by the black screen, where presumably the camera set-up was hidden.Konan flushed, burrowing her hands in the sleeves of her sweater. 
Ask me out, then! Ask me out if you think I’m cute! God! 
“Looks like we just press this button, and then there’s a countdown and it takes four photos,” Pain said, sitting back and putting his arm around her. “Ready?”“Uh-huh,” Konan said, looking at the preview screen and trying to fix her side bangs quickly.
Wait, wait, wait, I should ask him out before the photos otherwise he’ll just leave oh GOD why am I so bad at this!?
“Um–”Pain pressed the button and an intricate set of three clockwork wood-carved reindeer slid one at a time across the beam at the lower edge of the screen, counting down.Konan hitched a smile on her face as the flash went off. She just copied whatever pose Pain did, so they smiled, then had their tongues out doing devil signs, then peace signs, then silly faces. “I guess it prints them outside,” Pain said, pushing on the door to leave.
Oh no…
“Huh,” he said, pushing again. The door didn’t move. “Is it stuck?” Konan asked, leaning forward.“Um… Maybe…” Pain pushed hard on the door. Nothing. He felt around the edges for a lock or a quick release. He pushed again. He kicked it. It didn’t budge.“Should we call for help?” “I guess,” Pain sighed, then banged his fist on the door several times. “Hello?”They listened; it seemed completely silent outside. Pain knocked several more times as Konan called for help. Nobody came. As they stared at the door, they noticed the thin crack of light beneath it suddenly extinguish; the lobby lights had gone out.“Well that’s unhelpful,” Pain said mildly.“It’s not even that late,” Konan said, checking the time on her phone. “Why would the lights go off?”“Maybe maintenance is short-staffed and they cleaned it earlier or something.”“Um, are we stuck in here, then?”“Um…” Pain said down again, running a hand distractedly through his hair. “Maybe for a little bit.”“I could text Sasori or someone,” Konan offered.“Sure, yeah, I’ll see if Itachi’s around.”Konan texted Sasori: Hey, the door’s stuck on the photo booth. Could you come let us out? ;0  After a minute, a reply came through: LOL sorry I’m super busy. Have fun. Konan rolled her eyes at the ceiling. “Nevermind, I’ll text Deidara,” she muttered. “That piece of…”
Hey, Pain and I are literally trapped in the photobooth in the lobby. Pls come open the door?
“Itachi’s on a bus with Sasuke going holiday shopping,” Pain sighed, starting to text someone else.Deidara replied after a couple minutes: Hey Konan. Do you have to pee or anything? Konan frowned down at the phone. No? Not yet ?? Are you busy? We are trapped btw. Need help uwu D: Don’t uwu at me lmao. Yeah, Sasori told me not to let you out unless it’s like an emergency. Konan stared at the message.K: WTF? We’re stuck! What do u mean Sasori’s telling you not to let us out!?? She typed back.D: Don’t u want Pain to ask u out tho, Deidara responded.Konan glanced at Pain quickly and angled her phone screen away in case he could see it.K: ……I kind of didn’t want that to be a hostage situation though!??? D: Lmk if u have to piss tho I’ll come let u out Konan heaved a sigh. “Do you have to pee?” she asked Pain dully.“Uh, not yet?” he said, distracted, his own thumbs whizzing across his phone screen. Konan nodded and sighed again.K: Well now I just feel like a massive creep though. I could just lie and say we have to pee!!  D: Good point. Nvm text someone else if you have to pee, I can’t trust u.  K: Everybody’s busy!!  D: LOL okay phone me like twenty times if you have to pee.  K: DEIDARAD: Sasori will get mad tho... Just ask him out!! Ask him and then you can be free immediately!!  K….. Pls help me uwu  D: No uwu Konan sighed again and switched her phone off. “Hidan and Kakuzu are at their fight club, and Kisame isn’t answering,” Pain said. He raised his eyebrows at Konan. “How about Deidara?”Konan bit her lip. “Um, he said he could come in a bit, he’s just in the middle of something.”Pain rolled his eyes. “Of course. That’s better than nothing, though.”“I guess it’s nice to hang out, though. You’ve been really busy,” Konan said, taking her sweater off — it was getting kind of warm in the tiny booth.“Yeah, you too,” Pain said, glancing at her. “I wanted to say, by the way, your dance with Hinata was really good! It was really, um… sexy.” She smiled up at him. His eyes were so beautiful under the soft string lights. He looked embarrassed, shrugging.“I mean… thanks. Yours was,” he shook his head. “Pretty fucking amazing, Konan.”Konan grinned at him. “Hidan said he had fun, at least.”“Yeah, I bet he did,” Pain murmured. “It’s really hot in here,” Konan said, fanning herself.“Hopefully it won’t be for too long,” Pain said, pushing again, futilely, at the door. Konan bit her lips, gathering her courage. 
Okay. He literally can’t escape. I feel kind of creepy, but might as well take advantage of the circumstances!! 
“Um, I was thinking earlier today about the… conversation… we were having in the clearing, when you were teaching me to ride your bike?” She began, shifting a little closer on the tiny bench.Pain closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, flexing and clenching his hands. Konan’s eyes fell on a vein running up his arm, on a burn mark he’d gotten from metalshop on his inner wrist. She swallowed. “Uh huh?” he said.She looked into his face. Feeling her gaze, he opened his eyes and looked back. They were so close together, she would hardly have to lean forward at all…“You were going to kiss me, right? I know you did, but before that you were like… you know… going to…”It felt like she was breathing harder than necessary. She wondered wildly if the photobooth had any air holes. Her eyes fell on Pain’s lips as he licked them. She looked back up and saw by his expression that he’d seen her watching. A corner of his mouth lifted in a smile.“Yeah.” He leaned down, tilting on the bench so he was facing her, and pressed his forehead against hers. Konan parted her lips unconsciously, her eyes back on his lips, thinking how his snake bites would feel against her skin, thinking again about that fucking tongue piercing… Without totally thinking about it, she put her hand on his thigh. He inhaled sharply and let it out in a small laugh. “Okay, Konan…”“Uh huh?” She felt stupid, completely intoxicated by him. She could smell his white musk aftershave, the faint smell of woodsmoke that stuck to him after his woodworking class. Pain grinned at her. She looked up, meeting his beautiful violet eyes, so close. She felt the heat in her face and knew she was blushing.“I had this whole thing planned to ask you out,” he said ruefully. “I was going to ask you to hang out tomorrow . I had this whole set-up, because I’ve been meaning to ask you for like, weeks .” He shook his head. “And I waited so long, so everything had to be way better because it’s you and you’ve been so patient, and I really wanted it to be special…”“That’s nice,” Konan breathed, only half-listening, “but you can just ask me now, and then please kiss me, and then we can still do that nice thing you planned?”Pain leaned closer, sliding his hands into her hair, his gaze dropping to her mouth.“Okay,” he whispered.His lips found hers. They kissed softly, parting and then coming back, eyelashes fluttering, glancing at each other, checking in. Konan cupped the back of his head and sucked on his lower lip, her teeth scraping it. He tilted her head to the side, pulling her into him. Konan gasped into the kiss and he opened his mouth, his hands tightening in her hair as the intensity almost instantly ratcheted up. Konan nodded against him, her hands blindly seeking his chest, pulling herself closer to him. She breathed into him and he slid his tongue into her mouth. She shivered, letting out a small moan and his grip in her hair tightened. She gasped, feeling the metal ball of his piercing graze her tongue.Her heart was pounding so hard it felt like the blood was thrumming inside her body with each beat. She felt Pain pulling her closer, lifting her, and she helped, getting to her knees and straddling him, sitting on his lap. She slipped her arms around his neck, suddenly in control of the kiss, leaning down for him, licking into his mouth as his hands stroked up and down her back. She pulled back suddenly, remembering—“Wait, so, so…” she panted, gazing into his eyes, feeling almost drunk on him.“Please be my girlfriend,” Pain breathed, biting at her bottom lip.“Yes , yes,” she answered breathlessly, kissing him again, sliding her tongue against his, burying her hands in his hair.A few minutes later, the camera flashed several times again. They broke apart, looking at the screen. “What… did you push the button?” Konan panted, glancing at Pain’s knee, which was close to it.“Nope,” he said, nosing at her collarbone. “Maybe it’s on a timer?”The door swung open. Konan and Pain both shielded their eyes against the sudden brightness of the lobby, whose lights seemed to have come back on. Konan scooched off Pain’s lap, back next to him on the bench, blinking. “Hey, you two crazy kids,” Sasori said in an amused voice. “You’re free to go.” Konan squinted at him. He was holding a book in one hand, and two photosets in the other. He handed the pictures to Pain as he stood up and got out, stretching. Konan followed him, half-blinded by the light. She looked around; the lobby looked totally normal, except there was a small desk lamp plugged in in the corner, where two chairs had been set up as though someone had been sitting with their feet up. Her eyes fell to Sasori’s finger, holding a place in his book. Was he… hanging out here, reading, the whole time!?  Pain was inspecting the photobooth door, still a little pink in the face. “Did you push something against the door, or what?” he asked Sasori, annoyed.Sasori scoffed, heading back to the lamp and unplugging it. “Please. I just locked it.”Konan gaped at him. “You had the key?”Sasori rolled his eyes. “Duh. I helped make it. It’s a group project.” He looked directly at Konan, raising an eyebrow at her mussed hair and rumpled shirt, which she quickly straightened. “You’re welcome.”He gave them both an ironic wave and left, heading down the hallway toward the stairs to the dorm rooms. Konan looked at Pain, who had a hand pressed to his face in embarrassment. “I’m gonna fucking kill him,” he muttered, shaking his head. “Here.” He passed Konan the two sets of photos. The first was the one they had posed for. Konan felt herself going red again looking at the second set, which showed her on Pain’s lap, curled into him, hands in his hair, his hand up the back of her shirt, kissing deeply, then looking around in confusion at the camera.“If we put these ones on the wall,” Konan said, waving the posed pictures, “And I keep these ones, if that’s okay…”“Totally.”“Do you wanna take another set so you have one, too?”Pain raised an eyebrow at her. She grinned at him.“I mean, I’m not gonna say no…”  he said, smiling and following her as she headed, giggling, back into the booth.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The next day, Pain took Konan out in the evening to show her what he had originally planned to do to ask her out.

They took his bike out to town and went to a nice restaurant, played pool, and then headed back to the clearing in the trees outside the school grounds.

Konan gasped in surprise as she got off the bike. There were string lights hanging from the branches all around them, casting the clearing into a warm glow. He’d also set up a tarp on the ground, under several blankets and pillows. There was a bottle of wine next to it, and tealights in mason jars dotted the snowy ground. She turned back to him to see he was holding a silver origami flower. He handed it to her.

“Did you make this?” she asked, taking it from him and gazing down at it. It was the same design she wore in her hair every day.

“Yeah. It took me a while to get it right,” he said sheepishly, hanging his helmet on the motorbike handlebars and walking over to the blankets.

“It’s lovely, thank you!” she said, smiling at him.

He grinned back. “You’re welcome.” He tossed her a hand warmer packet from a box by the wine. “In case you’re cold,” he explained.

“This is so amazing, Pain,” she said, looking around them again as she shook the hand warmer and it started to head up. “What would you have done if it rained, though?”

He shrugged, laughing. “I’d have been fucked.”

“Won’t the snow melt and get the blankets wet?”

He looked down at the tarp and blankets. “Um… you know, you would have been a very helpful person to talk to when I was planning this…”

She laughed. “I’m sure it’ll be fine.” She sat down, careful to keep her snowy boots on the edge.

“I also forgot the wine glasses, so um, here,” he said, passing her the whole bottle.

“Oh, cheers,” she said, taking a sip.

“Alright. Pretty redundant now, but… Konan, would you like to go out with me?” Pain asked, sitting next to her, grinning.

She pretended to think about it for a second, and he gave her shoulder a playful shove.

“Hey! You already said yes, come on…”

“Fine, yes again. I’d love to, thank you.”

He shook his head, smiling. “You’re so silly.”

Konan took another sip of wine, then handed the bottle back to him. “So, tell me… This blanket is kind of suggestive… did you have something in mind, luring me out here?”

Pain snorted, raising his hands innocently. “Hey, there is nothing inherently suggestive about a blanket on the ground.”

Konan shook her head, grinning. “That’s where you’re wrong, this is obviously a blanket with a plan. It’s a sex blanket.”

Pain laughed, surprised. “This is a completely innocent blanket, for the record,

you’re

the one who’s bringing this energy here…” He patted the blanket defensively, taking a sip of wine. “This is a virginal, snow white, untouched blanket.”

Konan shrugged, grinning playfully at him, nudging him with her shoulder. “I mean, I know you’ve got pretty good game, aside from the huge inexplicable delay in asking out the girl you like…”

“We’ve only been going out a day and already you’re shit talking me, huh…”

“How many girls have you brought out on this blanket?” Konan teased him. “Is this your secret weapon?”

“How many times do I have to defend this blanket’s honor? How dare you continue to besmirch the blanket,” Pain said, laughing. “I bought this like two weeks ago, nothing has happened on the blanket, I swear.”

“I mean, nothing

yet…”

Pain raised his eyebrows at her.

“...Konan, it’s really cold out here. There’s literally snow on the ground. I dunno if you’ve ever heard of ‘shrinkage,’ but let’s just say

I’m

going to be embarrassed and

you’re

gonna be disappointed.”

“I was just joking!!”

—

Jokes aside, Konan quickly realized that just because Pain had asked her out, it certainly wasn’t the end of her anxieties.

They spent their spare time together for the rest of the week, going out on his bike, taking lunch outside, hanging out in her room or his. The clearing quickly became their spot to meet, and they spent a

lot

of their time there making out.

Because she hadn’t actually dated anyone before, Konan wasn’t sure what the expectations of doing anything beyond that might be, and since she didn’t have any close girlfriends to ask anymore, she began to take surveys of her dorm mates, under the pretense of finding out the identity of her Secret Santa.

She knocked on Hidan’s door on Saturday morning, holding a clipboard.

“Who the fuck… oh, hey,” he said, yawning, as he opened the door for her. “What’s up?”

“Good morning, do you have a few minutes to talk about your sex life and also Christmas?”

Hidan stared at her. “What the fuck is going on in here on this day…?”

“Are you my secret santa?”

“...No…”

“When did you lose your virginity?”

Hidan laughed and shoved her in the shoulder so hard she fell back a step.

“Fuck outta here with this nonesense…”

Konan looked at him appraisingly. He folded his arms, raising an eyebrow.

“Fine,” she said, admitting defeat. “Be that way. Keep your secrets.”

She went to the next door as Hidan watched her, leaning against the doorframe, and knocked on Itachi’s door. She heard footsteps approaching the door.

“Don’t answer! She’s gonna ask if you’re a virgin!” Hidan said loudly.

The footsteps stopped, then audibly retreated.

“...Are you my secret santa?” Konan called through the door.

“...No,” came Itachi’s muffled voice.

“Will you answer a question about when or if you lost your virginity?”

“Nope.”

Konan rolled her eyes at Hidan and went for Deidara’s door, but it was open and his room was conspicuously empty.

“Ugh. Fine, I’ll ask

Sasori…”

she grumbled, stomping away as Hidan laughed.

“Yeah, that’s right! Take your pervball questions back where you came from!”

She shut her door on him and headed for Sasori’s room.

As expected, Deidara was there, and for once they were both fully clothed; Deidara was lying on the bed on his phone, and Sasori was at his desk, sanding down a wooden arm.

“Hey, Deidara,” Konan said glumly, flopping down next to him on the bed.

“Hi Konan, welcome to my room…” Sasori said vaguely, not looking up. “Please feel free to help yourself to my bed and my boyfriend…”

“Fiancé,” interjected Deidara, not looking up from his phone.

Sasori smiled, cheeks turning slightly pink.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, you guys are adorable,” Konan said, rolling over into Deidara’s shoulder. “Could you help me? …What are you watching?”

She leaned over, looking at his screen. A yellow moving van was going under a bridge which was too low for it, and the metal roof got scraped off.

“It’s a compilation of trucks and vans trying to go under a low bridge,” Deidara said vaguely. “They call it ‘the can opener’. It’s amazing.”

“Huh. Okay, um – on a totally different subject, are you my secret santa by any chance?”

“Nope.”

“Okay… When did you lose your virginity?”

Deidara dropped his phone on his face in surprise. Sasori turned in his chair, looking very interested.

“Any particular reason for this sudden, personal question?” Deidara asked weakly.

“Could you answer and then I’ll tell you? And how about you?” she turned and asked Sasori.

“What kind of virginity?” he asked, popping a piece of gum in his mouth.

“I dunno, everything.”

Sasori leaned back, folding his arms behind his head, a faraway look in his eyes as he chewed his gum.

“My first kiss was Ariel Stein, a girl who lived on my street when I was eleven. She was followed by Rinko Kazehaya, James.. James something, Trey Martin, Kai Turner, that guy at that thing…”

“Okay, okay, nevermind,” Konan said hastily. “Um, if you don’t mind my asking, roughly how long did

you two

wait to have sex after you started dating?”

Deidara and Sasori looked at each other. Sasori grinned. Deidara rolled his eyes and turned over, going back to his video.

“What, you don’t want to reminisce?” Sasori asked Deidara’s pointedly turned back.

“Reminisce without me, hm,” Deidara replied sourly.

“What are you including under the header of ‘sex’?” Sasori asked, rolling his chair over.

“Uh, anything I guess. I was asking about, like… this and that…” Konan went pink and tailed off inaudibly.

“Lets see, we definitely messed around a lot

before

getting together…” Sasori said, a grin sliding over his face as he watched Deidara’s ears turning red. “And I think… when would you say our first time was, Deidara?”

Deidara pulled a pillow over his head and didn’t respond.

“You don’t have to tell me if it’s uncomfortable for you,” Konan said hurriedly.

“I think it’s more like, we don’t agree on when we officially got together,” Sasori said conversationally, ducking the stuffed animal Deidara threw at him. “Which, as you can imagine, makes it hard to celebrate our anniversary.”

Konan frowned, remembering something. “Pain said something about a sex anniversary on Halloween…?”

Deidara groaned and held the pillow tighter to his head.

“That’s right,” Sasori said, smirking at his boyfriend, “We

definitely

weren’t together then, though. Anyway, just to cut to the chase – are you nervous about having sex with Pain?”

Konan nodded and sighed.

“And… is there any reason you’re not having this conversation with

him..?

Konan bit her lip, drumming her fingers on her clipboard. “I think he’s more experienced than me.”

“Uh huh…” Sasori said, examining his nails.

“He is, right?”

“Did I say that?”

“You implied it.”
“You’ll have to ask him.” Sasori shrugged innocently. “But he’s not going to try to pressure you into anything,” he continued, frowning at her. “He’s not like that.”
“Unlike some people I could mention, hm…” Deidara said, his voice muffled by the pillow.

“

You

came onto

me

, actually, if you’ll recall,” Sasori said. “Anyway, back to Pain.”

“I know he wouldn’t pressure me or anything!” Konan said. “I just… I worry he’d be disappointed, or he wouldn’t want to wait very long, and I don’t know what I’m doing, what if I suck at everything, or what if–”

“I mean sucking is not a bad thing depending what you’re–” Sasori began, smirking.

“Konan?” Deidara interrupted, rolling over.

“Yeah?”

“Just go talk to Pain about it.”

“...Fine.”

She got up with a sigh and headed back through the door. As it closed, she heard Deidara asking Sasori, “Okay, fine, when did we get together

officially

, though, was it before or

after…

”

—

She knocked on Pain’s door, and when he said ‘Come in,’ entered and flopped down on his bed with a groan.

“Uh… make yourself at home,” he said, glancing over at her with a smile from where he sat at his desk, soldering iron in hand.

“Hey,” she said, her voice muffled in his pillow. She rubbed her face into it, breathing deeply.

“You little scent perv,” he said affectionately, putting the soldering iron back in its stand and then rolling his chair over to her. “You okay?”

She shook her head.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m kinda… nervous.”

“About what?”

She turned to look at him, holding his pillow to her chest, feeling her cheeks heating up. “About… um, having sex. With you.”

He looked surprised.

Fuck.

“I mean,” she carried on, talking a little too fast, “I definitely, definitely

want

to, with you, at some point, soonish for sure, probably

pretty darn

soon, if you’re up for it, for some of them, but… but I mean ‘soon’ can mean a lot of things, and I was thinking like, depending what you’re interested in maybe, uh, some things sooner than … but I mean, unless

you

want to wait, but if you don’t then, um–”

Pain held up his hands, looking a little concerned. “Hey, hey, woah… what’s going on?”

She sighed, just feeling stupid now.

“Can I join you?” he asked.

She nodded, and he lay next to her on the bed. She looked at him anxiously. He smiled back. She sighed and rolled into him, hiding her face in his chest.

“You dated people before, right?” she asked, her voice a little muffled.

“Uh huh.”

“How many?”

“Two.”

“Did you have sex with them?”

“Just the second one.”

“When was that?”

“Uh… two ish years ago, or something?” Pain said slowly.

“Do they still go here?”

“No, they graduated.”

Konan made a questioning noise and felt Pain shrug.

“They were seventeen when we were going out.”

“You were fifteen?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow.”

Pain shrugged again.

“So, what are you nervous about?” he prompted after a few minutes.

Konan shifted against him, trying to think of what she actually wanted to say.

“Um… I guess, I don’t have that much experience, really,” she began and felt him nod against her hair. “And there’s definitely a

lot

of things I really,

really

want to do with you…”

He gave a breathy laugh on an exhale, running a hand up her back. “Okay. That’s nice to hear. Same goes…?”

“I mean… definitely…” she mumbled, going red, thinking of her various Pain-centered fantasies she had spent the last few weeks carefully cultivating and perfecting in her mind. “But, I just – because I haven’t done them before, I don’t want to rush it, or rather, I don’t want to get it wrong, or for you to be disappointed…”

Pain made a baffled noise.

“Disappointed?”

She shrugged against him, keeping her face hidden.

“Konan, would you please look at me?”

Reluctantly, Konan backed her face away from his chest and looked up. He was smiling at her.

“I’d

never

be disappointed, firstly,” he said seriously, kissing her forehead. “So don’t even go there. Secondly, there’s absolutely no pressure to do anything you don’t want to, or to do anything at all right away, or even

soon

, and if you think I

am

pressuring you, please just yell at me.”

She giggled and he kissed her cheek.

“Plus, there’s definitely stuff

I

haven’t done before,” he said, kissing her other cheek. “And it doesn’t matter what we have and haven’t done, anyway, because it’ll be my first time with

you

, and I’m really excited.”

He paused, backtracking. “I mean, not so excited that I’m not happy to wait as long as you want, though.”

Konan sighed, rubbing her face into his chest.

“Thanks, Pain.”

“Feel better?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m glad. Anything else?”

“...I don’t suppose

you’re

my secret santa, are you?”

—

A week later, Konan had started to get slightly nervous about the winter dance. She had

finally

figured out who her secret santa was by process of elimination – Sakura – and had gotten a selfie with her, so getting into the party wouldn’t be a problem, but she was starting to have uncomfortable flashbacks to the Halloween dance, and everything that had happened after it.

The others assured her the vibes were very different from the Halloween dance – less of a rager, more of a romantic / friends vibe hanging around taking pictures and swaying awkwardly to Michael Bublé. Hidan and Kakuzu were planning to skip it entirely, in fact, since in Hidan’s words, it was “boring as a book club for people in a fucking coma.”

“While we’re talking about the holidays,” Sasori called down the table at dinner the day before the dance, “Who’s coming to my place for Christmas?”

Everyone else raised their hands.

“My dad’s visiting my sister this year, so I’ll be there, yeah,” Pain said, before noticing Konan hadn’t put her hand up.

“Spending the break with your parents?” he asked her with a smile.

“Sorta,” Konan grumbled, stabbing her fork into her baked potato with slightly more force than was necessary.

She had received an email from Holly, her father’s secretary, informing her that her mother was undergoing treatment and couldn’t have visitors over the break, and that her father had requested her presence at an art benefit and gala, and thus she was expected to be there. Holly had booked her a taxi to the airport for the day after the dance, and a roundtrip flight to Italy, where her father currently was staying on business.

“My dad wants me to visit, and I don’t want to make him mad.. Or whatever… by refusing, in case he takes me out of school, so I’d better go. I’m going after the dance, and I’ll be back on January 2nd,” she said glumly.

“Wow, you’ll be gone for a while,” Pain said, his face visibly falling for a second before he hitched a bright smile back on. “I’ll have to give you your present early, then!”

“Aw, thank you! I got one for you too, actually.”

“Gift exchange after

Hannibal?

”

They’d been watching the third season together. After dinner, they headed back to the dorms and Konan stopped by her room to retrieve his gift from its hiding place in her dresser. Pain was setting up his mini-projector. Konan laughed as she walked in to find Will Graham’s face blurry and on an unflattering pause on the wall.

“Merry Christmas!” she said, passing Pain his gift, which was wrapped in silver paper.

“Aw, thank you!” he said. “Can I open it now?”

“Yeah.”

He smiled, looking really excited and carefully slit through the tape and pulled the paper off. “Woah, this is so nice!”

“You like it?”

She bit down on a smile, watching his happy face as he looked at it. She’d made him an oil painting of his motorcycle parked in their spot at sunset.

“It’s beautiful,” he said, holding it away to see it better. “I’ll hang it up!”

“Oh, you don’t have to now–” she said, but he was already heading over to his shelves full of tools, searching for a hammer and nails.

She sat on his bed as he banged in the nails, using a spirit level to make sure the painting hung straight. He hung it on the wall next to his door.

“Think it looks good there?” he asked.

She nodded, smiling.

“So I can see it every day,” he said, joining her on the bed.

He sat, back to the wall, facing Will Graham projected on the opposite wall, and pulled her against his chest. “Thank you for my present,” he said, kissing her neck. “I love it.”

“You’re so welcome,” she said quietly. “I’m happy you like it.”

“You want your present?” he asked, wrapping his arms around her.

“Isn’t it just you?” she asked in a silly voice.

“You big flirt,” he said, laughing. “No.”

He picked up a small box wrapped in glittery blue paper.

“Oh wow!” Konan said happily.

“You haven’t even opened it yet!”

“I like the paper,” Konan said, unwrapping it carefully.

She lifted the lid on the small white box inside and gazed down at a silver necklace, with a silver charm that looked exactly like the origami flower she wore in her hair.

“Oh my gosh!”

She lifted the necklace out, looking at the flower in amazement. “Where did you find this? It’s so cool!”

“I made it for you.”

“You what?” Konan asked in surprise, turning to look at him. He had tucked his chin over her shoulder, and kissed her on the cheek as she turned her head.

“Do you like it?”

She looked back at the necklace. “I love it,” she murmured, amazed. “I can’t believe you

made

this, Pain…”

She turned the charm over. On the back, there was a small silver button.

“What’s this for?” she asked, pressing it. A USB connector popped out of the charm. “Woah!”

Pain laughed. “Put it in my laptop. You can look at it now, if you want.”

“Okay!”

Konan stuck the charm into the USB port on Pain’s laptop, and opened the file, replacing Will Graham’s big sad face with an explorer file with one file labeled ‘Contact Info,’ and a folder labeled ‘Photos.’ She opened the ‘Contact Info’ document. The names, addresses, emails, and phone numbers of all her friends were listed there, including some family member contacts.

“What’s this?” she asked softly.

“This is so, if you lose your new phone, or if anything happens,” Pain said quietly into her shoulder, “You can find us again.”

Konan took a shaky breath, rubbing her hand against Pain’s arm, wrapped around her. She remembered their talk on the concrete barrier outside the corner store, the first night he’d taken her out on the bike, telling him how she’d been forcibly cut off from her old friends. She leaned back more against him, felt him kiss her shoulder.

“Thank you,” she said in a small voice.

“Wanna see the pictures?”

“Yeah,” she said, clicking out and opening the folder.

“They’re pictures we all took this fall,” Pain explained. “So you can keep a copy. And if you’re going away, like for winter break, you might not be able to take your new phone, but you can always have these with you…” he tailed off as she opened up the first photo file and burst out laughing.

It was the photo of Sasori sneezing that Deidara had framed in his room. Full flash, mooned-out, blurry, his mouth open, eyes squeezed shut, looking completely ridiculous.

“Oh my gosh…” Konan murmured, clicking through the others.

There was a video Pain had taken of her riding his motorbike in the woods, laughing as she barely missed a tree. There was a photo she remembered him taking one day at breakfast, everyone pretending to eat like wild animals. There was a selfie Hidan had taken with her at their fight club, and another with Kakuzu after his fight, sweat and blood on his face, her in her Spice Girls t-shirt making peace signs. There was the video they’d taken of Deidara blowing up all the ceramics he’d made in the fall term in the baseball dugout, all of them laughing and then running from the falling shards of clay.

There were hundreds of photos – her and the others in their Hallowe’en costumes, a shaky video of Konan kicking Sasori into the swimming pool, video of Pain piggybacking her in the deep end as they played Marco Polo, video of all their dance routines, Sasori and Deidara’s engagement photos (which were copies of Awkward Family Photos the others had requested, like the arm shelf and the hand-in-each-other’s-back-pockets poses), Konan surrounded by paper for her origami angel wings, Itachi twerking, a video of Kisame completely missing a pool shot after hyping himself up, photos of Konan, Deidara, and Sasori spooning each other in the mega bed, covered in used tissues and empty Nyquil packets, Pain kissing her on the cheek down by the lake…

“I love it,” she said softly. “Thank you so much.”

She turned and kissed him softly.

“I’m gonna miss you when you’re gone,” he said quietly.

“I’m gonna miss you, too.”

“Do you think you’ll be able to call me at all?”

Konan bit her lip, thinking. “I hope so… I

should

be able to.”

“Okay. That’ll be nice.” Pain said, kissing her on the nose and smiling. “Now, let’s see what poor old Will’s been up to, huh?” he said, clicking his laptop back to

Hannibal

.

“Probably something sad, violent, and kind of out of his control that makes Hannibal super horny for him,” Konan sighed.

“Oh, probably.”

As the episode began, Konan turned the necklace charm over in her hands, smiling down at it. She realized there was a tiny inscription on the back, above the button that had revealed the USB.

I love you.

She felt herself blushing. She leaned back into Pain, wrapping his arms around her, closing her eyes, unable to believe how fucking happy she felt.

—

The next morning, Konan woke up early and put her gifts for the rest of her friends outside their doors, as a special surprise when they came out for breakfast. She didn’t have a lot of money available, so she had made all of their gifts.

She had silkscreened sleeveless shirts for Hidan and Kakuzu with blood spatter and ‘Zombie Combo’ on the back and a little cartoon design of them fighting on the front.

She had made a quick run to the supply store in the village to make a vanilla body scrub for Itachi and a sea salt one for Kisame.

For Sasori, she had printed off several photos of him she’d taken that he looked really good in, and put them in frames from the thrift store that she’d repolished and decorated, so he could put them around, and possibly hide the one of him sneezing that Deidara loved so much.

For Deidara, she’d managed to find supplies in one of the school store cupboards to make a candle that smelled like a bonfire.

She had wrapped all their gifts in silver paper, and when they’d all gone for breakfast, she hung back and put them outside their doors with hand-written cards wishing them happy holidays.

It had snowed again that morning, but luckily this time Konan’s radiator seemed to have got the memo and kicked it up a notch. She still wore her parka over her uniform, hoping to get a chance to go outside.

As it was the last day of classes, there was a special pancake breakfast with peppermint mochas and hot chocolates, plus photos with Santa (just Naruto in a costume) in the cafeteria. Konan made the rest of them pose with her, making silly faces, and ended up with a picture where everyone else was standing around her as she sat smiling on ‘Santa’s’ lap, like they were a bunch of bodyguards, touching their ears and pretending to speak on walkie-talkies, or identifying a nearby threat. Hidan was actually just a big blur in the finished photo as he leapt through the air, pretending to tackle someone.

Kakashi canceled Drawing class, as he was prone to do on days near holidays, so she headed outside with Deidara, Sasori, and Pain, after having managed to convince them to help her to build a snowman. It ended up being a ‘too many cooks’ situation in terms of creative direction, and they wound up building a three-headed dog biting a regular snowman in half, plus another snowman watching in horror. They took photos in front of them, Deidara shoving snow down the back of Konan’s coat after they’d already taken a few, so Pain took a few more of Konan screaming and then of her chasing Deidara around the field.

In the evening, as she started to get ready for the holiday party, she started to have flashbacks to the Halloween party, which was not particularly helpful. As she put on foundation, she remembered smearing fake blood onto the bottom half of her face. She applied silver glitter eyeshadow and got a flash of herself crying, trying to get the blood off again, trying not to touch the painful, throbbing bruise on her cheek.

She pulled on tights and a black velvet minidress, listening to music, trying to stay positive, but wondering vaguely what Pain would say if she told him she didn’t really want to go to the party.

But maybe I’d be letting myself down? Shouldn’t I just try walk in with my head high, forget all about what happened last time?

She applied lip gloss, brushed on some body shimmer she’d borrowed from Ino, and slid silver star clips into her hair in place of her origami flower.

I’ll just try to have some fun. I’m sure it will be lovely.

As they walked as a group down to the dance hall, however, Konan found herself walking slightly slower and slower as they got closer. They were barely at the bottom of the stairs, joining the crowd of students all lining up, and nowhere near the first floor bathroom, but already Konan was almost looking for it, her hands clamming up. She let go of Pain’s hand, hoping he hadn’t noticed.

“Hey,” he said quietly, putting an arm around her and pulling her to the side of the hallway gently, away from the others.

“What’s up?”

He shrugged, smiling. “I was wondering if you might just want to, like, hang out tonight?

Konan blinked at him. “You mean, not go to the party?”

“Yeah. I’m really happy to go, if you want to! I’m just also totally happy to take it easy, just hang out. Go for a walk.” He shrugged. “Whatever you want. I just wanted to let you know, I’m down for whatever you feel like. Just in case.”

Konan closed her eyes, smiling. “Am I just that easy to read?” she asked, laughing.

Pain put his hands on her waist. “Maybe I just know you really well.”

“Maybe.” She grinned at him, putting her arms around his neck. “I’d be super down to just hang out.”

“What do you wanna do?”

“There’s champagne at the party, right?”

“Yeah.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Could you grab some? We could go for a walk…”

He smiled. “I’m all over it.”

Twenty minutes later, they were outside in the snow, Konan wearing her parka over her velvet minidress, Pain in his coat, passing a bottle of champagne back and forth and laughing as they headed for the sheltered bleachers.

“So, I have a question,” Pain asked after a while, a third of the champagne gone. “You had a crush on me, right?”

Konan, already pink from cold, felt herself flushing more as she let out a half-embarrassed laugh. “Uh…yeah?”

Pain was clearly trying not to look too self-satisfied, biting down a big grin. “Oh yeah? For how long?”
Konan rolled her eyes, smiling too. “Oh fine… Yes, I had a big crush on you, since like… day one… As you probably knew. I was even asking Sasori for advice about what to do…”
“What, what? You were asking Sasori about it?” Pain asked suddenly

“Um, yeah? I tried to be subtle but kind of… guessed right away I was talking about you…”

Pain burst out laughing, shaking his head as Konan took another swig of champagne.

“That motherfucker…

I

was asking him for advice because I liked

you!”

“Seriously!?”

Pain nodded.

“Well, what did he tell you!?” Konan asked, only like 10% indignant.

Pain rubbed his jaw, trying to hide his smile. “Um… okay, he said… he thought you thought I was… hot, I guess.”

Konan hid her face in her hands with a groan.

That motherfucker…

“He said he thought you were like checking me out after I was fighting that asshole after gym class your first day,” Pain said, a little embarrassed. “He suggested I start, like, trying to be sweaty around you, like come to dinner after the gym and stuff…”

“Wait, that was on purpose!?” Konan exclaimed. “I thought you were trying to

kill

me!”

Pain was trying

so

hard not to laugh. “Wait, wait, you liked it though? You did!?”

Konan fanned her hot face, avoiding his gaze but unable to keep the embarrassed smile off her face.

“Um… yeah? Of course!?” she exclaimed again when Pain immediately burst out laughing. “You were all…”

She gestured vaguely at him as he raised his eyebrows expectantly.

“Yes?” He grinned.

“All… sweaty, and your shirt came up one time… and you… you know…” Konan could barely talk, she was so embarrassed. “Well, Sasori told

me

I was exactly your type. Was

that

true?” she asked, trying to change the subject.

Pain laughed again. “I mean, yeah, I guess so.” He took the champagne from her and took a sip. “I mean, I told him last year I love girls with nipple piercings, so obviously he told me about yours right away, and that almost killed

me

…”

Konan looked at him, surprised. He shook his head, smirking at her.

“Konan, I was going fucking crazy for you for weeks… and weeks…Pretty much since we met.” He shook his head, trying to cover his smile. “You have

not

made it easy, with your bikinis…”

“Okay, Sasori made me try those—”

“Losing your top in the pool…”

“That was an

accident!”

“Fucking flipping onto my shoulders… doing the splits in front of everybody…”

“Well, um…”

Pain was leaning forwards with each example until he was right up close, his hands sliding up her thighs under her coat.

“The way you feel, holding me when we go out on the bike… she smell of your shampoo… that fucking

lip bite,”

he breathed, lowering his face to hers.

Konan, startled, released her lower lip from between her teeth, her eyes fluttering shut as one of his hands slipped into her hair.

“You’ve been driving me fucking

crazy,”

Pain said, “This whole time. Also, I meant to say this – you’re

so

beautiful tonight.”

She felt herself blushing again, tipping her head down in embarrassment, but he cupped her face and brought it back up, gently pressing his forehead against hers. She opened her eyes to see him, up close and gazing at her with those violet eyes, smiling.

“You’re funny.”

He kissed her cheek.

“You’re thoughtful.”

He kissed the other cheek.

“You’re kind.” He kissed her forehead.

“I mean it, Konan.” He reached forward and took hold of the flower necklace she was wearing, that he’d made for her. “I love you.”

She tilted her chin up to meet him, grazing her lips gently across his, and kissed him softly. His hands cupped her face and he leaned in more, kissing her back hard, one hand closed in a fist in her hair. Konan relished the sting and the cold ache of the next row of bleachers digging into her back, the contrast with Pain’s hands, hot on her thighs, sliding up to hold her waist, his breath, smell of champagne, his lips, his tongue as her mouth opened, sliding against hers, his teeth tugging at her bottom lip, careful of her labret, and she gasped, giggled, her hands slipping into his jacket, untucking his black dress shirt to press into his skin, hold him close to her.

They kissed and kissed, coming back for more, pushing closer, Konan feeling more and more focused on the heat and weight of Pain’s hand, gripping and sliding up her thighs, the smell of him, the weight of his presence, the swoop in her stomach as he sucked her tongue or pulled away to kiss down her neck, pulling her closer.

“Do you… do you want to go back inside?” she breathed.

Pain looked into her eyes, his expression open, eyes dark. “Yeah, sure. Are you cold? Or–”

“Yeah. I’m cold. Do you… wanna come to my room?”

Pain’s eyebrows raised the tiniest bit as he grinned.

“Yeah, sure,” he said softly before leaning in and kissing her again, long and soft and slow.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

When they reached her room, Konan shrugged off her boots and parka. She paused on the way in, seeing Pain just watching her, leaning against the wall.

“You’re invited, come in,” she said, smiling and pulling him in by the hand.

She shut the door behind them and locked it, blushing as she caught Pain’s eye, his raised eyebrows.

“People just come in here all the time…” she mumbled, crossing the room to Sasori’s door.

She grabbed a piece of paper, scribbled ‘don’t come in!’ on it with a little doodle of a frowny face, and taped it to the other side of the door before shutting it, too.

“Got something in mind, that requires all this privacy?” Pain asked teasingly from where he stood, resting an elbow on her dresser.

“Oh, be quiet and get over here,” Konan said, walking over and grabbing his hand again, pulling him over to her bed as he laughed in surprise.

Konan pushed him down onto the mattress, and crawled on after him, sitting over his hips, straddling him, her hands running across his chest. He was gazing up at her like she held the moon and stars in her eyes. She blushed.

“You really like me, huh?” she asked, half-teasing, looking down.

“I fucking adore you,” he replied seriously, and pulled her down into a kiss.

Konan melted into him, her hands sliding into his hair, sucking his bottom lip, as he opened his mouth and their tongues slid against each other. She nodded into him as he tilted her head, deepening the kiss, another hand sliding around her waist, stroking her back, pulling her closer against him.

Konan lost track of time, lost in him, in his smell, in the scrape of his cheek against hers, the electric tingles that shot straight down her whenever their tongues touched, the warmth of his hands on her body, in her hair. He pressed a thigh between her legs and she moaned, clutching at him. He kissed her harder, about to roll her over, and she pressed a hand to his chest as a thought occurred to her. She pulled away, propping her cheek on her hand, her elbow next to his head on the mattress, catching her breath. Pain grinned up at her, stroking her cheek, his other hand still looped around her, fingers stroking her back gently like he couldn’t

not

touch her.

“Hey,” she began softly, kissing his face gently as she spoke, her lips running across his cheek, up to his temple, down to his nose, his mouth. “I’m not ready to have sex right now.”

“I know. All good, honey,” he replied, just as softly, kissing her back.

“But, maybe, some other stuff?”

Pain looked at her, eyebrows raised. “Other stuff?”

Konan leaned over, hiding her face, shy, as she kissed up his neck, to his ear, gently nibbling on his earlobe. “Is there anything else I can do for you? Or anything else you wanna do?”

Pain gasped as she licked the shell of his ear, then let out a breathy laugh. “Yeah, there’s

definitely

something I wanna do. If you’re okay with it.”

Konan sat back up, still straddling his hips. She blushed, feeling his hard cock under his jeans as she rested her weight on it. His hands slid up her thighs gently, running back and forth across her tights. He was biting his lower lip, gazing up at her, face flushed.

“What do you wanna do?” Konan whispered.

Pain grinned. “How about I show you what I’m thinking.” His hands ran up and down her hips. “If you’re not into it, let me know. If you want me to stop, let me know. No worries.”

Konan leaned forwards over him, hands pressing into the mattress as her hair fell in a curtain around their faces. He lifted a hand and stroked her cheek, hand sliding into her hair and holding it back. She gazed into his violet eyes, feeling her heartbeat pounding in her ears, very aware of the heat between her legs as she shifted in his lap, feeling the friction and pressure between them. She trusted him. She wanted him.

“Okay.”

Pain reached up and pulled her down with a grin, holding her close as he rolled them, flipping her onto the bed. He knelt between her legs, his body pressing down onto hers as he kissed her deeply before he lowered, trailed kisses her down her neck, down her shoulder as his hands travelled down, slipped under the hem of her dress and ruckled it up, running over her stomach, gripping her waist, before sliding into the top of her tights and starting to pull those down, too. Konan’s hands were running over his shoulders as he made his way lower, trailing kisses down her stomach. He paused, his hands in her tights, rolled half-way down her thighs. He looked up at her, waiting until she met his gaze.

“You good?” he whispered.

Konan nodded. “Yeah.”

He got to his knees, still holding the roll of her tights, then grinned at her and pulled them all the way off, yanking her thighs up into the air as he did. She yelped and giggled as he threw the tights off the bed. He lowered himself between her legs, kissing up her belly again. He pulled her dress higher with his teeth, dragged his lips across her chest between the lacy cups of her bra, kissed up her neck before she grabbed his head and pulled his mouth to hers, parting her lips and shivering as his tongue slid in, twining with hers. She slid her fingers into his hair, rolling up against him, pulling him closer.

Pain pulled away, breathing hard. “Still good?”

Konan was panting, every inch of her body vibrating with anticipation.

“Yeah,” she breathed.

He shot her a swift, wicked grin before head dipped and he pulled aside the lace of her bra to circle his tongue around her nipple, flicking the barbell.

“Oh

god!”

she squeaked, twitching.

He laughed softly and did it again, then slid back down her body, kissing and biting at her hips. His arms slid under her thighs, looping around them, gripping them with his hands, his fingers hooked under the waistband of her panties. He slid them down, lifting her legs to get them all the way off, then lowered again. He was kissing and biting and sucking at her inner thighs as Konan tossed and trembled above him, gasping, positively

throbbing

in desperation for him to do what she knew he was about to, what she hoped to

god

he was about to do.

Her ability to think had completely left her, her mind was just a haze of

oh my god, oh my god, oh my god

as he lifted his head, meeting her gaze, his eyes dark with want, giving her one last

‘you good?’

look. She nodded frantically back at him.

His arms snaked back around her thighs, and he buried his face in her as he sank right down, mouth opening instantly, his tongue sliding against her pussy, and he just shut his eyes and

groaned

on a huge sigh like she was the most delicious thing in the world, as he licked in long, broad, slow strokes, his fingers digging hard into the soft skin of her thighs.

Konan’s head was tilted back into the bed, her back arching, her hands grabbing into the sheets, gasping and shaking, biting down on her lip to try be quiet, Pain breathing hard against her. His arms shifted around her and he

lifted

her, raising her thighs to rest on his shoulders as he buried his face deeper, his nose pressed against her as he pushed his tongue

inside,

and she was whimpering, gasping, desperate, and she crossed her legs behind his head as he moaned, his nails scraping down her hips, head nodding into her as he ate her out. He tilted his jaw down, gasping.

“You don’t know how fucking long I’ve wanted to do this,” he breathed into her.

“Me too,” she whispered, feeling the heat in her face, knowing she must be bright red.

“You taste

so fucking good

…” He dipped down again, licking her slowly, holding her gaze.

Konan half-laughed, half-gasped, embarrassed and so fucking turned on she barely knew what to do with herself, pressing one hand to her face, biting down on it, her other hand sliding down her body to bury in his hair. He clapped one of his hands onto hers, forming a fist, showing her. She twisted his hair in her hand, pulling it and he moaned, swirling his tongue against her.

She was shaking against him, her hips rolling as she ground down against his face, as he started

sucking

, and then suddenly he was rolling her over, manhandling her like she weighed nothing at all as he slid up the bed, pulling her with him, guiding her up to his head, pulling her body down onto him.

Konan was breathing hard, staring down at him, her knees on either side of his neck, her mouth open, completely mindless, her whole body on fire. She pulled her dress up from where it was bunched at her chest, tore it off and threw it off the bed, undid her bra and pulled it off. Pain, lying beneath her, ran his hands along her thighs, up her waist, up to her chest, across her breasts. Her breath hitched as his thumb flicked over her nipple. He bit his lower lip, growling as he pulled her further up until she was directly above his face.

“Wait, wait, will you be okay? Will you be able to breathe?” Konan panted, running a hand through his hair.

His eyes were so dark as they locked onto hers, his thumbs circling her hips.

“I don’t fucking care if I can’t,” he said, then, seeing her worried expression, laughed. “I’ll be totally fine,” he reassured her. “Come on and fucking sit on my face already.”

He gave her a wicked smile as she gasped in surprise. His thumbs circled her hips one last time before his hands tightened and he pulled her

down

. She moaned as he opened his mouth into her, tongue flicking and swirling against her clit, his head nodding, his arms wrapping around her thighs, pulling her against his face.

“Oh fuck yes,”

he breathed.

She got the message and started grinding against his face, rolling her hips, moaning as she heard Pain groaning into her, his hands sliding around her, digging into her ass, holding her hips, pulling her down harder and harder against him. She looked down, almost

crying

it felt so good, to see his eyes rolling back below her as he moaned, voice muffled, growling

‘Oh my god, you’re so fucking hot’

into her.

She shut her eyes, gasping, clutching the headboard, grinding down as hard as she could, riding his tongue, loving his tight grip on her thighs, his hands grabbing her ass, her hips, his thumb coming around to play with her clit as his tongue focused lower, her head tipping backward as she gasped and cried out, her toes curling, her whole body trembling.

Almost an hour later, they heard noises in the next room, and Sasori’s muffled voice from behind the door. Konan was barely registering what could be happening, mind completely, blissfully blank, on her back again, her body loose as a pile of string, her legs slung over Pain’s shoulders, his tongue pushing and twisting inside her, his hands scraping down her stomach, grabbing her hips, gripping into her asscheeks, when Sasori opened the door.

“What’s this paper for? Oh.”

Pain lifted his head. He and Konan looked at the door, yelling “Go away!” at the same time.

Sasori smirked at Konan. “Just some payback,” he said with a grin before shutting the door behind him, calling, “Have fun!”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The next morning, Konan woke with her alarm. She sat up, rubbing her eyes, and opened them to see a colourful poster taped to the inside her door. She rolled out of bed, frowning, put her feet in her slippers and padded over to investigate. It was hand-drawn with oil pastels in the style of an ad from the fifties; there was a drawing of Konan in a new-look style dress, leaning against a stove, holding a wooden spoon and shrugging. In big letters around her were the words:WHY SLAVE OVER A HOT STOVE… WHEN ALL MY BOYFRIEND WANTS IS TO EAT OUT?Konan burst out laughing. “What the fuck!??” she gasped.Right on cue, Sasori and Deidara came in through the other door. Considering how much they argued with each other, it was amazing how in-sync they were, both giving her shit-eating grins as they lay down on her bed, watching her. “So?” they asked together.Konan faced them, rolling her eyes but still laughing. “What the hell is this!?”“A Christmas present,” Sasori said smoothly, still grinning. “And, judging from last night… Pain gave you his Christmas present early, too…”“Oh, get out of here!” Konan said, blushing and grabbing up one of her slippers and chucking it at him, but not very hard. “Oh, boo-hoo, I’m so nervous, I’m scared, I want to wait, I’m an innocent little flower and I can’t have sex …” Deidara said in a baby voice. “And then bam, Pain’s drowning in the pussy, hm.” Konan’s second slipper hit him in the face. “Hey!”“Why are you guys sexually harassing me? Where’s my… I dunno… ‘yas queen, get it girl’ kinda support?”Sasori raised his eyebrows, snorting. “Ooh, dated stereotypes, yaaas,” he said, snapping his fingers sarcastically. “Ugh, you know what I mean.” Konan said. “I want to talk about it! It was amazing!!”  Sasori and Deidara exchanged looks.“We just came to make fun of you,” Sasori said, getting up off the bed and stretching. “Given that both of us are friends with him… I don’t really want to hear about his sick cunnilingus moves.”“Well, who else am I supposed to talk about it with?” Konan asked in surprise.“Aw, she sounds so sad…” Deidara said, looking at her. Konan immediately put on her best heartbroken puppy face. Sasori groaned, tilting his head back and scrubbing his hands through his hair. “ Ugh… fiiiine,” Sasori said on a huge sigh, flopping back down on the bed. “But I have ground rules.”“Okay!”“I can hear an overview. I am not here for specifics. If you want to talk ‘ooh, his hand was here, and then his tongue was there ’--”“Oh, gross ,” Deidara interjected, making a face.“Exactly. If you want to get into that, go run along and make a friend and tell them all about it.”“Okay.” Konan nodded, biting down on her grin, so excited, waiting for the go-ahead.Sasori looked at her and sighed. “So… how was last night?”Konan squeaked happily, sitting down on the floor in front of them and grinning. “Okay, it was so amazing , we decided not to go to the party because he could tell I didn’t want to go, so he got champagne and we went over to the bleachers… Oh, and before that, the other day, so this is important – he gave me a necklace he made, and on the back it said ‘I love you,’ can you believe that!?” “Be still my beating heart,” Sasori groaned, settling in for what promised to be an extremely long dish session.—After breakfast, Konan went back upstairs to pick up her travel bag and make sure she had the essentials – her wallet, headphones, old phone and charger, and passport. She didn’t have to take anything else; she knew from experience that her father always ensured his assistants got clothes for her to wear wherever he wanted her to be, and that if she ever brought anything of her own, it would mysteriously disappear. Her favourite No Doubt t-shirt had apparently been incinerated by the PA he had five PA’s before Holly.She pulled on a sweater she didn’t particularly like, just in case, and headed downstairs to the entrance hall, double-checking she was wearing Pain’s necklace under her shirt. He met her by the door, giving her a big hug, and waited for the taxi with her. When the black car rolled up, exactly at 10am, he gave her a final hug and kiss. “I’ll see you in a bit. Text me or call me whenever,” he whispered. She gave him a final kiss and got in, waving through the window.She plugged her headphones in and sat back, closing her eyes as the car pulled away. She fell asleep on the way – it felt like barely twenty minutes later the driver was telling her they had made it to the airport. Konan paid the taxi fare and got out, opening her phone to double check the information in the email she had received from Holly.She headed inside and went to the information desk, reading off the email that a package had been left for her, and showing them her passport. The lady at the desk passed her a shopping bag with a designer label, saying they had been holding it for a week. Konan took it, sighing inwardly, and headed to the washroom. After closing herself in a stall, she opened the bag and looked inside. There was a sealed black envelope with her dad’s company logo on the front in silver. She rolled her eyes and tore it open. 
Is there any need for him to be this fucking dramatic?
She recognized Holly’s handwriting and wondered if she ever got a holiday.
‘Konan, as per usual please wear these in the airport and for your flight. As per usual, your father requests you not speak with anyone in the airport or on the plane. See you soon.’
Below were the details of her flight and information on which desk to go to. Konan bit the inside of her cheek, peering at the clothes in the bag and groaning. She wondered for a moment if anyone would actually find out if she didn’t wear them, just to spite him, but remembered that his driver was picking her up from the other side, and she’d just get them both in trouble if she was still in her leggings.The clothes were still wrapped in paper. Everything was designer, and still had the tags on. Konan stared at them, rolling her eyes as she pulled them off, not particularly bothering to be careful. Honestly… Why does he spend so much money on this stupid stuff. Does he leave the tags on to show me how much he ‘loves’ me by spending so much? Or is it to make me feel bad for not wanting it?? Why the hell does he do anything he does… She pulled on a pair of tight black jeans, noting as she did that they were a half size too small.
Hint fucking taken, thanks Dad.
She pulled on a black turtleneck, a long black coat with leather sleeves, and knee-high black leather boots with a narrow heel and stylish wide leg. She slipped on the provided large black sunglasses, black face mask, and black designer baseball cap, and stuffed her old clothes in the provided black leather Birkin bag.She emerged from the stall, grouchy, and noticed two teenagers washing their hands look at her and immediately start whispering, avoiding her gaze, like they thought she was some kind of celebrity. God… I want to go home, she thought, and paused for a second, realizing that ‘home’ in her mind had become St. Misery’s, rather than even her apartment by her mom’s hospital. She sighed, telling herself it was just a couple weeks, and keeping her dad happy meant that she would be allowed to go back.She headed to the airline desk to pick up her ticket, trying to ignore the mix of people looking at her and people looking suddenly away from her, as though the outfit was somehow a reverse-polarity magnet.She knew why he made her dress this way at the airport, even if she didn’t like it, or agree with it. He had drilled into her that because she attended benefits and events with him occasionally, that his business partners, and more importantly, potential investors and business contacts, and most importantly all of their various staff and team members, would be able to recognize her by sight, and so she not only had to act the way she was supposed to, she had to look how he wanted her to look, to be sure she didn’t embarrass him or the company. However, on top of that, he wanted to also look unapproachable, as he apparently didn’t want anyone approaching her to talk about his business, in case she said the wrong thing, or was seen speaking to the wrong people.  “You seriously think anyone cares what I have to say!? I don’t know anything about your business, anyway!” she had argued, but it hadn’t helped. He seemed entirely convinced that she was both very recognizable, and instantly recognizable as his daughter, and that everyone who was anyone would know who he was, and thus who she was. So she had to look very important, rich, and stylish, and yet completely unapproachable. A pretty high order for the people he kept on staff to dress her, but one they seemed to manage again and again.Konan absentmindedly took hold of the metal flower necklace, closing her eyes, wishing she was back at school with Pain and her friends. —When Pain joined Sasori and Deidara for lunch, neither of them could look at him.“What?” he asked. They just exchanged uncomfortable, half-laughing grimaces.
“What?”
“Nothing,” said Sasori, taking a bite of his sandwich, “But I was thinking you would do really well as a submarine captain. All that going down ...”Pain rolled his eyes, sighing. “Of course. Thank you, by the way,” he said sarcastically to Sasori, “For barging in yesterday. Very polite of you, very considerate.”Sasori blew him an air kiss. “You were apparently such a superstar, I thought it only fair you have an audience.”Pain’s ears perked up. “Superstar?”Deidara snorted into his cup of soup. “Ugh, don’t tell him, he doesn’t deserve to be happy, hm.”Pain made a sad puppy dog face at them. “Not you too,” Deidara groaned, rolling his eyes. “ Stop…” “Woof, woof?” Pain said hopefully. Deidara threw a balled-up napkin at his head. “No! No. I’m sick of it, no stupid, cute, sad, dog faces…” He trailed off, looking from Pain to Sasori, both of whom were now looking sadly at him, pouting, holding their fists up like paws. “What kind of furry-ass foolishness…”Sasori laughed and refocused on Pain. “Alright, you lucky son of a bitch,” he said, pointing at him with a spoon, “Basically, your girlfriend is obsessed with you and wants to sit on your face for the rest of her life. Happy?”Pain turned pink, and was unable to stop himself from grinning. “Wait, are you serious?”Deidara pretended to vomit into his soup as Sasori gave a bored sigh. “We went to see her this morning, looking forward to making fun of her, figuring she’d be really embarrassed, really shy, really easy to mess with…”“Imagine our disappointment,” Deidara said, “When she actually wanted to tell us every single fucking thing you did to her.” The smile immediately dropped from Pain’s face. “Wait, what? What did she tell you?”“Don’t worry,” Sasori said, reading his expression, “We made her stick to a general overview, for your sake and ours , obviously. She was really excited and doesn’t have a lot of friends who aren’t also friends with you, poor thing. But yeah, we did get the 411.”Pain pressed a hand to his face, sighing and nodding. “Okay.”“And you came off very well,” Deidara said teasingly.“I think she’s the one who came,” Sasori snorted.“Didn’t your tongue get tired?”“I’m surprised he didn’t get all wrinkly on his face, like how your fingers do if they stay in water too long…”“O kay…. ” Pain said, standing up. “I’m just gonna take this coffee to go…” As he walked away, muttering about packing for the winter break, he could still hear Sasori and Deidara cracking jokes behind him.“Pain must be an amphibian, living half the time on the ground, half the time in the pussy…”“He’s like Aquaman…”“His favourite Bond character is Pussy Galore…”
—
The flight to Milan took several hours. Konan sat in first class and watched a few movies, then did a few crosswords on her phone. It had actually been quite a while since she had flown out somewhere to see her dad, and all of the little rules he had set out for her trips like this were somehow reflecting back to her strangely, like in a funhouse mirror. Like she was starting to realize how weird they were, when they had been completely normal and expected for her entire life. For example, she was forbidden to sleep on flights, as it was apparently low-class to do so. As a child, she had trained herself to never fall asleep, to drink water and walk up and down the plane if she felt tired, or, worst-case-scenario, hold herself completely rigid and upright in her seat, hiding her closed eyes with her sunglasses, so it looked like she was just resting.When watching movies on a plane, she had to keep in mind that other people might see her screen, so she was forbidden from watching anything that hadn’t been screened at Sundance or TIFF, wasn’t a documentary, or hadn’t won an Oscar, and even then it depended which Oscar. She was only ever booked on the window seat, to minimize the chance of having to interact with anyone, even in first class when everyone was at least four feet away, anyway.  Why does he live like this!? Why does he make me live like this!?  She chewed the inside of her cheek and dug her nails into her palms angrily.
When I’m eighteen, I will never see him again. When I’m eighteen, I’ll change my name. When I’m eighteen, I’ll tell my mum I’m leaving. I’ll send her letters. He’ll never find me. I’ll go work at a restaurant, I’ll go backpacking, I’ll dye my hair. He won’t find me. And why the hell would he even bother trying to, anyway!? He doesn’t give a shit about me. He just cares if I embarrass him. 
She took deep breaths, closing her eyes, trying to clear her mind again. None of these thoughts would be helpful in spending three weeks with him, under his direct supervision. She imagined her body covered in a cool glass shell, impenetrable, still, untouchable, unbothered. 
When I open my eyes, nothing in this world can touch me. Nothing in this world will upset me.
She opened her eyes, a small smile on her face under the mask, eyes cool and calm behind her sunglasses. She watched Melancholia. When they landed, Konan was the first off the plane. She noticed a few people photographing her at the arrivals gate, like they thought she was some kind of influencer. She rolled her eyes behind her sunglasses and looked for her father’s usual driver, but Jean wasn’t waiting for her. She looked at all the signs held up, looking for her name, but couldn’t see anything.
Weird…
Just as she pulled out her phone to double-check she hadn’t received an email with new instructions, her name was announced over the airport loudspeakers with an instruction to come to the front desk.She headed over, pulling up her sunglasses. At the desk, a woman in a navy blue uniform with a sleek up-do said that a message had been left for her.“The message is…” the lady said, pulling something up on her computer, “Quoting here, ‘Some business has come up, and your father is unable to make time to see you. A room has been booked for you at the Hilton. Your return flight leaves from here at the original date and time. Please stay in the hotel until your return.”Konan’s jaw dropped. “That’s it!?” she exclaimed.The front desk lady’s carefully plucked eyebrows arched upwards. Konan cleared her throat. “Sorry. Thank you,” she said, sliding her sunglasses back down and stepping back. She walked away and leaned against the wall, pulling out her phone. She called her dad’s number.It picked up at once.“Konan, hello.”“Hi Holly,” Konan said, instantly recognizing her father’s PA. “Can I talk to my dad?”“I suppose you received the message about the change in plans?”“I sure did, yeah,” she snapped.“Tone.”Konan bit her lips and sighed. “Sorry,” she apologized. Holly, rightfully, reminded her all the time that just because she was mad at her father, it didn’t mean she had any right to vent it on her.  “I did just get the message. Can I talk to him about it?”Holly hummed in amusement. “Would you like me to put you on hold for an hour before talking to me about it, or would you like to just talk to me now?“Fine,” Konan sighed. “I guess you know all about this hotel thing?”“Since I’m the one who booked it for you, yes I do. You’re welcome, by the way. It’s a nice room.”“Why don’t you stay in it, then?” Konan asked, trying hard not to sound as annoyed as she felt. “I don’t want to stay in a hotel for three weeks! I wanted to stay with my friends!”“Friends?”Konan bit the inside of her cheek. “Nobody.”“There you go,” Holly said. “There’s no need to worry your father with your social life.”“Fine. Could you please pass a message on to my dad when he is available, then?”“Verbatim, or do you want me to adjust your tone?” Holly asked. Konan could hear the wry smile in her voice.“Please adjust my tone,” Konan said. “Alright. Dear dad, I was really looking forward to spending time with you during my break from classes, spending the holidays with you, and attending the… whatever… art event thing…”“Art Basel.”“Sure. As I am unable to see you during the break—”Holly cleared her throat, interrupting her. “We’re opening with this: ‘Dear Dad, As always, I am incredibly grateful for your focus on business, to provide for myself and my mother, not to mention the benefit of your shareholders and employees. It is always a joy to spend time with you, and I understand that on this occasion, something vital came up preventing this. Thank you for generously arranging alternative accommodations for me. I look forward to seeing you as soon as may be possible.’” “Um… laying it on a little thick, aren’t you?” Konan asked, bemused.She heard Holly laugh lightly. “I sense something he won’t like coming up, so I’m trying to soften the blow.”“Right. Okay, so… yadda yadda… ‘I would like to politely decline the kind gift of the hotel room you booked for me, as I would like to retain my focus on my studies, and so I would like to go back to school for the break, in order to continue to make the most of this incredible experience.’ How’s that?”“Not bad. Are you asking him or telling him?”“Telling him.”“And how exactly are you going to get back to school?” Holly asked. Konan could hear the rapid clack of her keyboard in the background.“You can’t change the flight dates?” “I’m sure it’s not impossible.”“Well… hopefully that works, then. I don’t suppose you could send me money for another taxi? He put my money in a fu– in a trust or something.”“Language. And, well, technically that was me, at his direct request,” Holly said. “You can’t pay for a tattoo on your card and not expect that to happen, Konan.”Konan rolled her eyes, furious at herself all over again for how stupid she had been. “It was my money, though. I earned it!”“Your father considers finances to be a family matter, particularly as you are still a minor.”Konan took a deep breath, trying to calm down.“Well, it was unhelpful. I can’t pay for anything now.”“You sure paid for a coffee at a police station in November just fine. Konan, please don’t forget that I have to give all your bank statements to your father… I don’t like having to share information that will disappoint him.”The bottom dropped out of Konan’s stomach. “Hold on, hold on… did he see that!?”“What was it about?”“Nothing! Nothing, I… lost something. So I was making a report.”“Uh-huh,” Holly said, like she didn’t believe a word. Which was fair. “Lucky for you I caught that and managed to edit the statement before he asked for it. You’re welcome.”“Thank you! Oh my god, that would have been, um…” Konan’s heart was pounding. She had been completely distracted, worried about her police interview, having fun with Ino, and had totally forgotten about that… “Well, in any case, I certainly can’t transfer you any funds before I’m able to pass on your message and before I get his approval to do so. I don’t have that much power, contrary to popular opinion. It looks like you’ve got enough to get you back to school from the airport.”“Okay, thanks. Anything else?”“Yep, I’ve managed to re-book your flight. I’ll email you the information. And… you’re going to have to submit a very detailed report of what you accomplish over the break.”“Is he going to read it?”“No, but I will. And he’ll ask me if it sounds like you’re working hard, and I don’t like to lie to him, obviously.”“Fine. Plus the usual reports?”“Naturally. Have fun with your friends.”She hung up. Konan breathed a huge sigh of relief, and headed out the doors, back to the ‘Departures’ side of the airport.—It was evening the next day when she arrived back outside St. Misery, looking forward to surprising her friends. She had been watching the taxi rate calculator nervously, but luckily she had just enough in her account for the fee plus a tip. The car reversed, turned around, and headed back up the snowy drive. Konan walked up to the doors, slipping a little in her heeled boots, and pulled the wrought iron door handle.It didn’t budge. Konan tried again— nothing. She frowned, looking around. There were no cars parked out front, not even Tsunade’s. “Umm… fuck,” she said to herself.She had been focused on the planned trip to Italy; she had not , apparently, paid any attention to announcements about when the school would be closing.She pulled out her phone, but knew it wasn’t much help— she hadn’t added any of her friends’ numbers to the old one, and the new one was in her dorm room, locked upstairs. She tapped a fingernail against Pain’s necklace — their contact info was on there, but she needed a computer or something to plug the USB into, and she’d left her laptop behind, in her room. “Um…” Konan was starting to get a bit cold. She looked down at the high heeled boots she was still wearing. She’d been worried about what would happen to the clothes she wore to the airport, so on her way there, she’d just been wearing her beat-up converse, which would be even worse in the snow. She pulled off the long black designer coat and scarf, trying to ignore the cutting wind, and put her ugly sweater back on underneath them. It wasn’t much, but it was a bit better.While she had the school’s wifi, she figured she should probably use it, keeping in mind the spyware apps on her phone. She logged into her bank to check the account.18.75.She had 18.75 in her account. 
“Fuck!”

Ok, calm down. Step one, find somewhere with a computer I can use. No, step one, go to the bus stop. Step two, go to town. Thank god for my bus pass… Step three, find a computer. Maybe at the library. Step four, call Pain or maybe Sasori if everyone’s going to his place… I hope it’s not far away…
Steps one and two ended up working out pretty well. Thankfully her student bus pass didn’t expire until December 31st, so she was able to catch the bus into town without paying the cash fare. She was freezing cold while waiting, but luckily the bus itself had been warm. She got funny looks from several passengers, in her designer clothes and obviously brand new Birkin bag, and her lumpy old sweater. She got off the bus in town, and headed for the library, but it had closed two hours ago. She tried to think of any other places that would have free-to-use computers, and landed on an e-café, but by the time she reached the only one in town, staggering through the snow, it too had closed. Panicking slightly, she found a 24-hour coffee shop, bought the cheapest thing she could, and sat down, warming her hands on the paper cup and shivering.16.00 in her bank account.—The next morning, Konan bought a tiny travel toothpaste and toothbrush from the pharmacy, and headed to the library to warm up, brush her teeth, and use the computer. She was stiff, achy, cold, exhausted, and she had 11.50 in her bank account.She plugged the USB stick into one of the freely accessible computers and sighed with relief as the folder with everyone’s contact info came up. She was about to dial Pain’s number when she came up short— last time they’d talked about it, he’d said it would probably be best if she didn’t use this phone to contact them.For the first time in over a month, Konan pulled herself up short wondering why on earth she had to be so sneaky about having friends, why her dad, or someone working for him, was spying on her phone, to what extent he was doing so. It’s weird, but is it bad? What is he hoping to see, or worried about seeing?  She borrowed a pen and paper from the librarian and wrote down all her friends’ numbers and addresses, and wrote down directions to Sasori’s place from her current location. Unfortunately, it was most of a day away by train.She bought a granola bar from the convenience store across the way, got cash back, and used a payphone in the library atrium to call Pain.He picked up on the third ring.“Hello?”“Hey, it’s me,” she said.“Hey! How’s it going?”“Uh… Well, my dad canceled the trip and wanted me to stay in a hotel by myself for three weeks…”“Seriously?”“...So I came back, but the school is closed.”“Oh no!! Where are you now?”“I’m at the library in town. I got your number from the necklace, so that’s coming in handy already.”“Awesome! Are you able to get the train to Sasori’s?” Konan bit her lip. “Well… I should be able to get there somehow,” she said, trying to sound confident. “I might take the train.”“Want me to come down and get you? You’ll have to wait a bit for me to get there, but I’m happy to do it.”“No, you’d be on the bus for like nine hours,” she said, hitching a smile to her face. “I’ll just come up and meet you. “Okay, if you’re sure. If you take the train, it looks like that should get into the local stop around 6pm. I can meet you there?”“That would be great. I was wondering, by the way…” She took a deep breath— she had a gut feeling but really did not want to be right. “Do you think there’s likely to be a GPS tracker or something on my old phone? Along with the mirror apps you found?”Pain was quiet for a minute. “I would have said it’s not unlikely, but… You said your dad never found out about you going to that Paramore concert, right? Or going to parties with your friends?”“Yeah, he didn’t know.”“Then you’re probably fine,” Pain reasoned. Konan sighed with relief. “Thank goodness,” she said. “Okay, I’ll figure out—” She caught herself. “I’ll figure out the way to the station, get a ticket, and hopefully be there at 6pm.”“Yeah, okay. Can you maybe buy a burner phone to call us with?”“Um, maybe. Okay, I’d better get going…”“Okay. Promise you’ll call or text me if you can if you need anything?”“Uh-huh. Bye.”Konan returned to the computer, chewing the inside of her cheek as she looked up directions to the Greyhound stop in town. As she checked how long it would take her to get there and the time of the next bus, she called Holly again.“Konan, I actually have a very busy and a lot of work to do,” Holly said as soon as she answered, sounding harassed.“I hardly ever call you!”“Keep it that way. What do you need?”“How do you feel about an overdraft?”“What could you possibly need to purchase now? You arrived back at school safely. From what I can see, you purchased a coffee in town last night. Late study session?”Konan gritted her teeth. “How comforting it is to know you keep such a close eye on me.”“That’s my job. Your father cares about your wellbeing,” Holly said vaguely.“Right. About the overdraft?”“Your request for an advance on your allowance is pending. If there is a necessary purchase in the meantime, I’m sure your father won’t begrudge you. The overdraft limit is quite small, though. To prevent frivolous spending.” When the hell do I even buy ANYTHING!? He wouldn’t have to worry about fucking overdrafts if he hadn’t taken my money, anyway! Konan took another deep breath. Visualized her mind stilling like a pond after a mayfly took flight. “I found some beautiful reference materials in town for a project I am working on. It’s at an open-air market, and they’re cash-only, but they would be so useful. I might hit the overdraft when taking cash out at the ATM.”Holly made a suspicious humming noise. “Your father doesn’t like it when you get cash out, Konan.” 
I can hardly use my card to buy a train ticket though, can I!? He’d completely freak out.
“Is there anything else I could do?”“Go back to school,” Holly said, and hung up. Konan threw her phone furiously back into her bag, tears springing at the corners of her eyes. If she asked Pain to come and get her, plus pay for her ticket, it would cost him a couple hundred dollars. She had absolutely no idea if he could afford that, and it felt like a ridiculous ask when they’d only been going out for about two weeks.Maybe she could just phone again and lie, say she wasn’t coming after all, and find somewhere… a shelter or something, to sleep in, if she could.She drummed her fingers on the table, trying to ignore the grumbling of her stomach. Her eyes fell on the Birkin bag. 
I’m a moron. At least this shit might come in useful.
Konan quickly logged onto Craigslist on the library computer and made a post. She wasn’t super optimistic, since the town wasn’t that big – if she didn’t get a response in an hour, she might have to just start approaching people on the street or something – but it was worth a try.A quick Google made her pause, though, jaw hanging open.
Why did you give me such a fucking expensive bag!?!??? 
She phoned Holly again, who this time was definitely in a bad mood.“Konan—”“Who decides what to buy me, when you send me clothes for the airport? Does my dad decide? Does he know what you guys get for me?”“For goodness’ sake!! Why are you asking so many questions!?”“Does he know what you get me to wear? Does he know!? ”“He provides a budget. He provides instructions and expectations. Myself and his PR team make the purchases. He is not a man who cares about womens’ fashion, Konan.”“Is he going to ask for this back!?”“Why would he bother!? Now, stop calling me!” She hung up. Konan changed tack instantly. She couldn’t just sell this bag on Craigslist. Aside from anything else, nobody in this town would possibly have that much money, and it was absurdly reckless to essentially give it away for a couple hundred bucks. But if she kept it, and found a way to sell it later, she would have more than enough to run away as soon as she turned eighteen. Go someplace else, completely start again. She was absolutely certain her father had never gotten her anything so valuable just to wear at the fucking airport before. If he ever insisted she wear couture to an event or something stupid, they were always rentals, or else he’d take them back and put them in a glass case, loan them out for an exhibition or something like that. She’d never paid much attention, had always been more focused on counting down the minutes when she could leave the event, get out of whatever she was wearing, and leave him.
Is he just more distracted or something? Why does he care how much I’m spending, but not how much his assistants are spending on stupid stuff I’m never going to use again!?
Rolling her eyes, Konan edited her Craigslist ad to sell the sunglasses instead. She put them up for about fifty percent of their worth; more than enough for bus tickets and food, and definitely cheaper than you could get them at a store, with instructions to meet her at the library within two hours, and to pay in cash.Nobody responded to the post, but Konan wasn’t too discouraged. She headed over to the train station anyway, buying a coffee on her way to keep her warm.At the depot, she wandered around, approaching likely-looking people, steeling herself, trying not to come off as creepy.“Hey, I know this is weird, but, I have these sunglasses, they’re Prada – I just need cash, so I’m happy to sell them at a really good discount…”She caught the eye of a man sitting in a chair, reading a newspaper, smirking as another woman shook her off. She went pink and looked away, feeling like he was laughing at her.After a few attempts, the security guard came over to tell her she couldn’t be harassing people at the depot. The man with the newspaper got his phone out, apparently laughing under his breath as the security guard walked away from her. She turned to face the wall, looking up, trying really hard not to cry. She was freezing cold. She was exhausted. She was hungry. She had absolutely no way to get where she wanted to go. She had absolutely no alternative places to stay. She swallowed hard, and looked around the concrete atrium for a payphone. She’d just have to call Pain, and promise to pay him back as soon as she could.She turned around to find the newspaper man walking towards her, tucking his paper under his arm and smiling.“Hey. I’ll buy your sunglasses,” he said, grinning at her. She looked at him uncertainly. “Really?”He nodded, scratching his unshaven jaw. “For sure. Or rather, why don’t I make it easier — I’ll buy your ticket. Where are you heading?”Konan told him nervously, hardly daring to believe her luck as he nodded and headed to the desk. “That’s where I’m headed, anyway,” he said over his shoulder as he paid for her. He gave her her ticket and she handed him the glasses. “Cheers. Saves me getting my wife a Christmas present.”Konan smiled at him.“What’s your name?”A habit formed from people never getting her name right at coffee shops kicked in immediately.“Katie.”“Nice to meet you,” he said. “I’m John.”They got on the train together. Konan sat by the window, and he sat diagonally opposite her, putting his feet up on the seat next to her with a yawn. He reopened his newspaper. He smelled really strongly of smokes. Konan put her earbuds in, but kept having to take them out as he occasionally asked her questions.“Heading home for the holidays?”“No, I’m staying with friends.”“Not your family?”“No.”“Your parents must be pretty relaxed, then. If my daughter didn’t come home for Christmas…”“My dad’s busy.”“Mum?”“She’s in hospital.”“I’m sorry to hear that, that must be really hard.”“Kind of. Thanks.”It continued for most of the trip, Konan trying to give as short answers as possible. He went on his phone for a while and Konan listened to music, watching the scenery fly by, listening to the announcements for each stop, waiting for the right one.“Is that your natural hair colour?” The man looked at her, grinning, like he knew he was being silly.Konan laughed awkwardly and shook her head, just wanting the conversation to be over already.He raised his eyebrows. “You have very striking eyes, too.”Konan shifted uncomfortably, pulling her coat around herself. “Um, thanks.”He didn’t say anything else, just looked at her for a minute, then went back to his phone. As casually as possible, Konan took the black face mask out of her bag and slipped it on, coughing self-consciously to pretend she was a little sick, and didn’t just want to hide her face from him a little, much good as it would do her now. She was starting to feel kind of uncomfortable. She wished he’d take his feet off the seat next to her. After catching him looking at her over his phone a couple times, she just pretended to fall asleep, her face turned to the window, arms wrapped around herself. She wished she could text Pain. Or just get away from this guy without him getting offended, especially after he bought her ticket… There was nothing particularly off about him, but the glances at her were pretty weird. She kept an eye on the time. When her stop was announced as the next up, she got up.“Bathroom,” she said, smiling. “No problem,” he said, folding his legs off the seat with a smile. There was a tiny pause before he said, “Katie.”Konan half-glanced at him as she crossed in front of him. His expression was pleasant, but there was something in his gaze that unnerved her.She smiled at him and walked away down the train to the sign for the washroom, trying not to hurry. She opened the door to the washroom, pretended to see a big line up inside, and kept walking down the train. A cool female voice announced her stop. A few cars down, there was another bathroom. She looked over her shoulder.John was following her, a while back, hands in his pockets.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Konan bit the insides of her cheeks and slipped into the bathroom. There was no one else inside. She locked herself inside a stall, focusing on the vibration of the train, listening hard for the announcement, waiting to feel it slowing down at her stop. She was trying very hard to be calm.
When the train stops… no, before it stops, I’ll leave and go to the end. When I get off, I’ll find a payphone… no, I’ll find a station guard, and ask them to stay with me as I use the phone… but am I being too paranoid? 
Konan heard the bathroom door open and lifted her feet up automatically, but she sighed with relief, hearing a woman and her daughter talking as they came in. When she heard them washing their hands, she came out, washed hers, and followed right behind them as they left the bathroom. She didn’t see John anywhere. The train was slowing down. The woman and her daughter were returning to their seats, apparently not getting off yet. Konan stayed as close as she could, pretending to be texting, standing by the door closest to them. As the train slowed down, she looked out onto the station beyond, and felt her heart lift with relief; Pain was standing, hands in the pockets of his winter coat, looking at the train. She waved frantically to him through the window; after a few seconds, he saw her. He waved back and started walking over. The train slowed to a halt. Pain loped over as the doors opened, grinning, but his smile faded quickly as his eyes slid behind her. Konan stepped off the train as an arm slid around her shoulders, holding her. “So, this is your friend?” John’s voice asked from her side. “Yes,” she breathed.“Hi, I’m John. I was looking after her on the train.” He held out his free hand, apparently for a handshake.Pain didn’t take it. His gaze had slid back to Konan’s face. His mouth thinned, his jaw tensing.“Don’t touch her.”“No worries,” John replied, his arm leaving her shoulder but sliding down to her waist.Pain reached forward and grabbed Konan, pulling her away from John into his chest. Konan heard the warning ding of the train doors.“Happy holidays, Konan,” John said as they shut, and the train began rumbling to leave the station.Konan’s breath was shallow as she pressed her face into Pain’s chest, only half-believing she’d actually made it to him. He wrapped his arms around her, but it was a minute or two before he spoke. She could tell he was watching the train leave. “Who was that man?”Konan shook her head against his chest, holding him tighter. “I don’t know him.”“He knew your name?” “I don’t know why. I didn’t tell him.” She took a deep breath and lifted her head, rubbing her eyes. “I don’t want to talk about it. Thank you so much for coming to meet me!” “No problem,” Pain said, still looking very concerned. “Are you okay, though?”Konan tried to nod, but the mixture of relief and leftover stress were making her throat close up like she was about to cry. She tried to clear it. “Kind of,” she said. “Kind of, huh?” Pain asked, putting an arm around her as they started to walk out of the station. “Want to tell me about it?”“I guess,” Konan replied in a thick voice. “But first, could we please get some food?”—-They found a McDonald’s a couple blocks from the station. Konan used the last of the money on her card to get herself a burger, fries, and a drink. She told Pain about feeling uncomfortable at the airport, about the jeans being too small, her dad canceling on her, her calls with Holly, her attempts to sell her sunglasses, John and his questions, John following her down the train.“And I couldn’t text you or anything because I didn’t want the stupid mirror app on this phone to record your number,” she said, chewing a fry and reaching into her pocket for her cellphone. It wasn’t there.She tried the other pocket, inside pocket, jeans pocket. She dug her hand through her bag. It wasn’t there.“Not to be paranoid,” she said slowly, “but I think he stole my phone.”“The guy on the train?”“Yeah…” Konan stared into space, eyebrows pinched close with worry, eyes unfocused for a minute. What had she lost, really? She knew her parents’ contact info. She hardly used that phone anymore, anyway.“Oh well, it doesn’t really matter.”Pain was watching her, leaned back in his chair, arms folded, a concerned look on his face.“And you’ve never, ever met him before?”Konan shook her head.“What kinds of questions was he asking you?”Konan shrugged, taking another bite of her cheeseburger. “He asked why I wasn’t seeing family for the holidays, blah blah blah. I thought he was watching me after a while.”Pain shook his head. “How do you think he learned your name? After he stole your phone, maybe he read a text to you?”Konan shrugged. “Maybe.”Pain ate a fry thoughtfully. “You said your dad makes you wear expensive clothes at the airport, and when you accompany him to public-facing events. And he doesn’t want you talking to people he might be in business with, right?”Konan nodded, rolling her eyes. “It’s stupid. Anyone he really cared about would be on a private plane.”“Maybe your dad thinks you’re easily recognizable. Maybe that’s just what it is, if you’re the daughter of a famous or very wealthy person.”Konan rolled her eyes as Pain took out his phone. “I doubt it. Nobody would know or care about me,” she said.Pain snorted. “Actually…”He slid his phone across the table. It was on a Google image search for her name. There was stuff she knew about – logos or promo images for art exhibits or programs she’d taken part in, photos from show jumping competitions she’d done when she was younger, a blurry photo of her in a tutu. The kind of things that ends up on the internet if you do activities that have open showcases or an eager PR person putting all participants’ names on the blog or website.Then there were photos of her at some of the fancy events she had been dragged to by her father, various openings or benefits, entering or exiting a building in various gowns. She never posed for photos, so they were just her from behind or a distance, walking. The weird ones were the ones of her obviously at the airport. She recognized the mint green athleisure look she’d worn two years ago, another outfit with a teal crop top and tracksuit bottoms into snakeskin boots, which she’d absolutely hated. She was always in sunglasses.“Wait, that’s from today, ” she said suddenly, pointing to a photo of her in the mask, sunglasses, black boots, jeans, turtleneck, and long black coat. Pain clicked the page the image linked to. It was an airport fashion blog. Konan stared at it, mystified. There were a couple comments.
Not the Birkin bag, too…

Are the boots Weitzman or Chanel?

Who is she!!???

Konan Arakaki, Shin Arakaki's daughter. Her dad's like a huge science donor or smth. Nepo baby. Them stylists tho
Konan slid the phone back over to Pain. She felt sick, humiliated, and suddenly hot, like she was sitting under a powerful lamp.“Well, that explains it, I guess,” she said shortly. She stood up abruptly to return their trays. She felt Pain’s eyes on her. “Can we go?” she asked.He got up. “Sure. We have to catch a bus soon anyway.”They walked in silence to the stop a few blocks away. Konan felt bad for venting her anger on him, and couldn’t even articulate properly why what they had seen had made her so angry. I hate that there are pictures of me on the internet. I hate that my father is right, and that some people out there clearly know who I am. I hate that that’s only because of him, that I’m never not going to be associated with him. I hate that that’s me . I don’t want anybody to know me. I want to disappear… Pain slipped his hand into hers and squeezed it gently. Konan leaned against him with a sigh. She leaned her head against him, then, feeling her throat tightening again and tears prickling at the corners of her eyes, she fully turned into him, hiding her face in his neck. He wrapped his arms around her, rubbing her back.“It’s okay,” he murmured. She let out a long, shaky breath. “I’m sorry.”“Me too.”“I was really stressed, and scared.” She sniffed. “I hated seeing those photos.”Pain nodded, his cheek pressed against her hair.“I don’t want to talk about anything from today anymore, if that’s okay.”“Sure.” “I don’t want to go see my dad ever again. I don’t want to talk to him. I don’t want to talk about him.” “Okay,” Pain said quietly. Konan sighed again. She realized she had been holding herself stiff and finally relaxed into his arms. He kissed the top of her head.“I missed you,” she said into his coat.“I missed you, too.”She tilted her head up to look at him. “I’m happy to see you,” she said.“I’m happy to see you too.”He kissed her gently.—When they got to Sasori’s place, everyone else was already there, laying around watching Die Hard. They yelled greetings to Konan as she waved, following Pain around as he gave her the tour. On the bus ride there, Pain had told her that Sasori had inherited the cottage when his parents had died, and since his grandmother had moved into a home, he often invited them all to stay during school holidays.It was on a windswept hill, with long grasses outside, currently hidden by a thick blanket of snow. The exterior was stone, and the inside was furnished simply, and was quite cozy. There was a little kitchen, one main bathroom, a master bedroom, two guest rooms, and a pull-out couch in the living room, which would be where she and Pain would be staying. Konan smiled at the framed photos on the mantle, of Sasori’s grandma, or Sasori as a child, smiling with his parents, and then of him as a twelve or thirteen-year-old, clearly not wanting to be photographed, frowning among wildflowers.Part-way through the tour, Sasori joined them, showing Konan where the towels were kept, and giving her a little heads up about the house.“So, yeah, my grandma used to live here, and she had some live-in help before she went to the nursing home,” he said, leading her back towards the main floor bathroom, which was just off the living room. “So, as a heads up, there’s no locks on the bathroom right now—”“Oh my god, okay.”“Yeah, it’s a project for the break,” Sasori said, grinning. “I gotta pick up some locks, and—”“Sasori!” Hidan called, getting up off the couch and coming over. “Tell her about the high seat!”“The what?”Hidan grinned at Konan, pushing past Sasori and leading the way, opening the door like he was a tour guide. “Behold!”“Is that…” Konan blinked at the four-inch high plastic seat perched over the actual toilet seat. “Does that come off?”“Yes, it does,” Sasori said, sounding impatient, “And nobody’s supposed to use it, it was in the closet, but—”“But you can be really high up,” Hidan said enthusiastically, “And there’s like a super long wait before before your shit hits the water, and you feel like fucking King Kong!”“How is that King Kong!?” Pain asked.“Why is that your King Kong fantasy!? Just shitting from really high up!?” Konan giggled.Hidan frowned at them. “Hey, hey, hey, don’t yuck my yum, it’s good stuff—”“Why is that your yum!?” Sasori asked, sounding aghast.Hidan flipped them off as they laughed and returned to the couch.“Anyway, as I was saying,” Sasori continued, “Yeah I have to go to the hardware store, get some locks, and I’m going to be doing a lot of sorting of my grandma’s stuff, since she said to get rid of anything I don’t need, so if you want to help, that would be great.” He smiled expectantly at Konan.“Er… of course! What are friends for?”“Not to be cynical, but is that why you were so eager to invite everyone over here, even though it’s your first holiday break since getting engaged to Deidara?” Pain asked drily, leaning against the wall.Sasori smirked. “It’s like Konan said – what are friends for? Cheaper than paying for a service to do it, anyway.”“Yeah, I respect that,” Kakuzu said as he passed them, heading back from the kitchen with a beer.“Anyway, you and Pain will be sharing the fold-out sofa bed. Is that cool?” Sasori asked as they walked back to the living room, where the others were just finishing the movie. Konan glanced at Pain, who raised his eyebrows at her. “I mean… yeah?” she said. “I might need to borrow some clothes though. Like pyjamas…”“No problem,” Pain said.“Dibs on shower first!” Kisame said as the credits rolled, leaping off the couch and zipping into the bathroom.“Can I go second?” Konan asked. “I smell like an airport. And a library. And a bus.”“Yeah, you reek,” Sasori said cheerfully as he headed past her into the kitchen. “Hey!”Pain was laughing until he caught Konan’s eye and immediately scowled at Sasori’s back. “How dare you, you take that back right now,” he said sternly, but his voice was shaking.“Unbelievable,” Konan muttered, but she was grinning too. —Once Kisame finished in the shower, Konan asked Pain to borrow something to wear for bed when she was done, and he passed her a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. She took them and headed into the shower. “Okay, I’m going into the shower,” Konan called loudly, “As there is no lock, please don’t come in until I say I’m coming out!”There was a chorus of vague assent from the boys, all scattered in their rooms. Konan went in the bathroom, and nearly slipped on a huge puddle of water Kisame had left on the floor. 
Jeez.
She peeled off her clothes and chucked them in a corner, scowling in the mirror at the red marks left on her skin from the too-tight jeans. She took a lovely hot shower, taking time to wash her hair and wash all the memories of the past two days away. She stepped over the side, reaching for a towel. Immediately, her foot slid away from her, skidding along the wet tile on a dropped bar of soap. Konan screamed as she collapsed to the ground with a huge crash, landing in Kisame’s cold puddle on the tiles, her back hitting the side of the tub, her towel falling off the rail on top of her.“What the fuck are you screaming abou– WARGH!” Hidan had pushed open the bathroom door, covering his eyes and immediately stepped on the bar of soap, too, which had shot from under Konan’s foot to the other end of the room. His foot slipped back and he toppled forwards, diving at Konan and landing in a heap on top of her as she screamed again. Hidan squashed her back down onto the ground just as she was trying to sit up.“Are you okay, what the hell is happening— ACK!”Pain had come charging in and immediately tripped over Hidan’s flailing legs, soaring over them and crashing down in the shower, his knee hitting Konan in the face. “OKAY, NOBODY ELSE COME IN HERE OR I’LL FUCKING KILL THEM!” Konan screamed as both the boys groaned in pain.Sasori and Deidara opened the door, but stayed standing in the hall. Deidara took out his phone to take a picture.  “GET OUT!” Konan screeched, throwing the bar of soap at Sasori’s head. It took about two minutes for Hidan, Pain, and Konan to get to their feet, all groaning and moaning and muttering, but unable to stop themselves from laughing, too. Konan turned the shower back on so she could warm up again before bed.—Konan fell asleep quickly, exhausted from the last couple days. Pain waited until her breathing had slowed down, curled up on one side of the pull-out bed, before heading into the room Itachi and Kisame were sharing, knocking on his way in.Kisame was lounging on his bed, playing a game on his Steam Deck. Itachi was sitting at the desk, typing on his laptop.“Hey, Itachi,” Pain said, pulling up a chair to join him. “Can I ask you for a favour?”“What’s up?” Itachi asked, turning his chair to look at Pain and re-tying his ponytail.“Okay, I know this sounds a little weird…”He told Itachi about the photos of Konan on the internet, about the guy on the train knowing her name when she hadn’t told him, about her father potentially ordering the mirror apps to be installed on her phone, and summarized what Konan had told him about how protective and obsessive he was about who his daughter was talking to or spending time with.Itachi’s face remained quite neutral as usual as he listened, merely raising his eyebrows.“He sounds like a pretty interesting guy,” Itachi said. “What’s his name?”“Shin Arakaki.”Itachi turned back to his laptop, tapping away. “CEO of MIRAI, huh?”“Yeah.”“Interesting.”Pain watched Itachi’s fingers whizzing over his keyboard for a minute.“Other than telling me about it, what did you want me to do?” Itachi asked, his eyes on the screen.“Well, I’m probably being paranoid,” Pain prefaced, “But I just think it’s unlikely that this guy on the train follows airport fashion blogs.”“ She’s an airport fashion girl? With her taste?” Itachi scoffed. “She’s literally lying over there in a raggedy old Bikini Kill t-shirt!”Pain kicked his leg lightly. “Hey! That’s my shirt, aside from anything else. Anyway, her dad’s super rich, obviously, and he hires stylists for her if she’s going places she’ll be seen, it seems.” He shook his head. “Anyway, this guy on the train… the vibe just felt so weird. Why would he steal her phone? What’s the point of that?”“You want me to look into it?” Itachi asked, glancing at Pain, who shrugged and nodded.“Just if you have time.”“Sure.”“Thanks, man.” Pain put his hands in his pockets and stood up, bending over Itachi as he clicked open a new window and started typing in commands, pulling up TOR.“Um…” Itachi turned to look at Pain, eyebrows raised. “This isn’t like the movies, you know. I’m not going to just type three things and go ‘I’m in.’ This will take me a minute.” He grinned and turned back to the screen. “So like, step off, bro.”“Step off!?” Pain said, laughing in surprise.“I said what I said.”“Fine, fine,” Pain said, and headed over to join Kisame, watching him play his game.About fifteen minutes later, Itachi called him back over.“Well, I did find something kinda weird.”Pain padded over excitedly. “Ooh, on the dark web? How fancy!”Itachi scoffed. “Just look .”Pain bent over his shoulder, watching as Itachi scrolled slowly through what looked like some kind of forum. As he saw more and more, his jaw tightened and he started flexing and clenching his hands, trying to stay calm even as his stomach was turning.There were dozens and dozens of photos of Konan posted there. Some of them were ones he’d already seen earlier that day, available on Google Images. Photos at events, galas, at airports, but there were many more. It looked like Konan had done some modelling when she was younger, or possibly they were posed family photos that had somehow gotten online. There were photos of her clearly as a young child, dressed up for a special occasion, sitting on a chair, holding a teddy bear, or posing with a watering can. There were more of her looking like a pre-teen, her hair long and in an updo, wearing a white dress and long silk gloves. There were dozens of low-resolution ones of her at what looked like a gymnastics tournament, and several of her in dance costumes, wearing stage make-up. There was one of her on a horse. One of her doing the splits, posing with a gymnastics medal, had dozens of disgusting comments under it. Someone had also posted gifs. There were only a couple, but they made Pain's jaw ache with anger. Konan bouncing off a mat in the splits on repeat. Konan mounting the beam, sliding her leg over. Several slowed-down and zoomed-in clips from what looked like a dance performance, Konan doing a body roll.Somehow worse than all that, a number of the photos had been edited, as though they were trying to age her up. Her chest was bigger, hips wider. Several of them had edited photos to make her blonde, for some reason. There were comparison posts weighing up her facial structure with that of several famous models. There were loads of deepfakes, explicit photos where her face had been edited onto a porn star’s body. Pain closed his eyes, trying to breathe normally, opening them again as Itachi scrolled down to a post with dozens of comments about how old she was, a countdown until she was eighteen. One of the more recent photos of her at the airport had comments speculating about what kind of bra she might be wearing. Pain frowned, noticing several commenters had just put the letter ‘A,’ with no context.“So, this continues for a while,” Itachi said. “It looks like a lot of these have been re-posted from elsewhere, so I doubt this is the only page like it. But, if we go to the most recent posts—”He clicked a few times. The posts changed, and Pain gasped.“What the fuck!?”There was a long chain by user Cattlebrand56, started a couple hours ago
This chick on the train looks like her haha. Thinkin bout it.
It was a photo of Konan, in the exact outfit she had been wearing that day, sitting in a seat on the train, looking out the window.“This must have been him. John,” Pain said quietly. “Scroll down, scroll down.” They read the comments.
Gonna take her?

Wait but that IS her right??

That’s a $35,600 Birkin. Boots are Chanel – see link.

Coat’s Sally LaPointe.

Could be her?

Wait – found this on IG. Airport fashion girl.
The photo of Konan at the airport. 
Zoom on the boarding pass?

Flight to Milan. This is literally her.

A.

Hard to see how shes lookin in the photo tho
Cattlebrand56 jumped back on: jackpot. She left with some emo guy but i got her phone
Oh my fucking god

She got pics on there?

Lol lucky fucking guy. Have fun man

While u can

Post it post it

Nudes??
Cattlebrand56: unlocking it gimme some time
We salute you sir. Post if you need advice
Judging by the timestamps, John had taken an hour and a half to get home, unlock the phone, and upload the photos, which implied he had cracked phones before…Cattlebrand56: Jackpot There were selfies Konan had taken while lying in bed, sitting in a car, standing by a lake, laughing holding a beer, smiling at sunset. Pictures she’d taken in the mirror, trying on clothes, playing with her hairstyle. Some people on the chain were excited about the pictures that showed her feet. Most were going crazy for a photo she must have taken the year before, of her grinning happily in the mirror, showing her bare chest and freshly pierced nipples, but they were also all asking why her tits were so small.Pain’s nails were digging into his palms, wishing he knew each of the commenter’s precise location so he could tear their spines out their assholes.John had listed her top-played songs, and the chat was commenting on her apparent love of Muse and Paramore, asking what her Spotify account was, what her playlists were called, asking if he could find her login info for different websites, if she had a private Instagram.The chat was super long after what looked like the most recent selfie, one of Konan smiling in the snow outside the school.
What building is that?

This was taken a few days ago, damn!

Found it.
A Google Maps link to St. Misery’s. Pain and Itachi exchanged glances.
It’s a boarding school! She goes here!?

Man we should roll up LOL
“This is so fucked up,” Pain whispered.“So, I guess this user is your John from the train,” Itachi said, clicking the profile of Cattlebrand56. “Wait…”The page was blank, showing an error message.“It’s deleted,” Itachi said, shrugging. He clicked back to the forum. Another error message. Itachi started typing, text filling up his command window after he pressed enter. “I’ll just try save some of this data, before… yup.”He hit reload. Error message: This page does not exist. “It’s gone? The whole thing?” Pain asked.Itachi shrugged. “Might be crossposted. Might not be. But yeah, someone is trying to clean up this mess.”“Who?”“Could be a moderator. Unlikely. Probably someone who’s monitoring this side of the internet for stuff about her. Maybe the stuff about her school was too much. Someone doesn’t want her to be so easily found.”Pain nodded slowly. “People working for her dad?”“Could be. Not a bad thing, to take that down. It’s not safe for her.”“Those guys… are so fucked up,” Pain said through gritted teeth. “Fucking disgusting pieces of shit.”Itachi shrugged again. “I mean, yeah. It’s not the craziest thing to see on here, though, honestly.”Pain couldn’t say anything in reply. Whenever he closed his eyes he saw the photos of Konan as a child, smiling at the camera. The edited photos of her face on someone else’s body. The comments excited for her to become legal.“You want me to keep an eye out for this stuff?” Itachi asked eventually.Pain took a deep breath. “Yeah, maybe, if you could. If it’s just people being fucking creepy, then I guess… if you could let me know if anything feels significant, that would be great.” He shook his head. “She… she told me once that she thinks her dad is so rich, he doesn’t think of normal people as being real. He doesn’t think in the same way as everyone else . But I think she’s kind of… the same, sometimes.” “What do you mean?” Itachi asked, looking confused. “She seems fine to me.”“I just mean… She’s so pissed off with him, rightly, because he doesn’t understand her, and he pulls all sort of shit that hurts her, or puts her in fucking danger like today… I don’t want to get into it, because it’s her business, but…” Pain shook his head. “I think because he treats her how he does, she thinks he’s wrong about everything. But it seems like he’s not wrong about this kind of thing.” He gestured to the laptop screen. “He’s trying to protect her, I guess. He must know if you’re in the public eye then fucking creeps are going to do shit like this. And she never thinks it’s possible.”Itachi shrugged. “It’s not something anyone would want to have to think about, I suppose. I’ll keep some feelers out, just to check on stuff.”“Thanks, man.”Pain said good night and headed back out to the living room, where Konan was still asleep. He pulled his hoodie off and turned off the hall light, then slipped into bed next to her. He lay on his back, listening to her soft, slow breath. He reached his hand out slowly, just until his fingers pressed softly against her back. He focused on the feel of the shirt she wore, on her breathing, on the warmth of her body against his hand, trying to clear his mind. The only thing he knew with certainty about everything Itachi had shown him was that he would never, and could never tell Konan about any of it.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The next morning, Konan woke up early and decided to make breakfast for everyone. She found all the ingredients for pancakes and put on Etta James as she made them, like her mum used to do when she was little. She cut slices of banana and used whipping cream and chocolate chips to put silly faces on the pancakes as one by one the boys got up and joined her, filling their plates.“This is nice!” Deidara said, walking in in his pyjama bottoms and tshirt, helping himself to a pancake with an owl on it.Pain came up behind Konan and kissed her on the cheek. “Thanks for this, honey,” he said sleepily, giving her a one-armed hug. Everyone else slowly trooped in, in various combinations of pyjamas and clothes, and they all sat down to eat, passing each other mugs of tea and coffee.“So, what do you guys want to do today?” Sasori asked after everyone had a full plate. “The ice on the lake is thick enough for skating, apparently…”“Skating?” Konan asked excitedly, leaning forward to look at him down the long table. “Can we go? Do you have skates?”“I mean, no, but we can just go and slide on the ice in our boots, for fun,” Sasori said, shrugging. “It’s really not that–”“I would love to go!!” Konan said, beaming at him. “I’ve never skated before!”“This really isn’t going to be a good representation of what skating is actually like,” Itachi said, patting her hand. Catching her disappointed expression, he hastily added, “But we can still go! It’ll be fun!”“Yay!”After breakfast, everyone headed off to get dressed and put on their coats and boots. Sasori and Deidara had agreed to loan Konan some clothes for the winter break, since she was closest to their heights, so she was wearing a pair of Deidara’s sweatpants, one of Sasori’s t-shirts, and Pain’s black hoodie. Sasori dug out a pair of his grandmother’s snow boots and one of her coats, which fit Konan perfectly well. When everyone was ready to go, they tromped out of the cottage in their boots, coats, and scarves, walking and sometimes slipping along the snowy road down to the lake at the bottom of the hill. Hidan and Kakuzu ran up behind Konan and grabbed her by the arms, sliding down the path with her as she screamed in surprise, laughing. They reached the edge of the snow-dusted frozen lake. There was a large patch about thirty feet across from one side which had been cleared, and lots of footprints and skate blade markings, indicating it was a popular location. “First person to fall over makes lunch?” Pain suggested, and they all agreed.“Don’t you dare,” Itachi said, catching Kisame about to shove him.Konan looped her arm through Pain’s and followed him tentatively onto the ice. Almost immediately, her foot shot out from under her, and he had to grab her quickly to stop her falling.“It’s slippery!” she exclaimed.“Um, duh , it’s ice …” Deidara said as he passed her, grinning as she stuck her tongue out at him.“You okay?” Pain asked, smiling as Konan stood upright again.“Yep, I think so.”She followed the others as they walked and slid towards the middle of the clear patch. Deidara and Sasori were messing around, pushing each other, trying to make each other fall over. Hidan, Kisame, and Kakuzu were playing foot hockey with a pinecone. The wind was piercing, but the view was beautiful; the hills surrounding the little lake were dotted with cottages like Sasori’s, all lit up and blanketed in snow. Konan let go of Pain, holding her arms out and trying to copy Itachi, who was pushing off from foot to foot, sliding gracefully across the ice in his boots.She immediately lost her balance and tipped sideways, grabbing Kakuzu’s arm. Kakuzu keeled over, his legs shooting out from under him, taking out Itachi’s legs. Itachi grabbed Hidan’s scarf to try and catch himself, but the scarf just tightened around Hidan’s neck, strangling him as he flailed around, grabbing at it, and crashed straight into Deidara, who launched headfirst into Sasori, who slipped and staggered backwards into Pain, who had seen Sasori coming and had grabbed onto Kisame for support, banking on him having good balance. He didn’t. Kisame’s feet slid out from under him as he tried to stay upright, and he collapsed, taking Itachi’s legs out again just as he was trying to stand up. They all lay spread-eagled on the ice in a sprawling dog pile, glaring at Konan.Who hadn’t actually fallen down.And who, by that point, was laughing hysterically, clutching her stomach and pointing at them. “You’re not gonna help us up?” came Kisame’s indignant muffled voice from underneath Sasori. Konan couldn’t answer him, she was laughing so hard, her face aching. Sasori kicked her legs out from under her and she toppled over with a shriek, landing on her ass. They were all laughing by then, only stopping abruptly when they heard a loud crack. Luckily, it was just a kid smashing rocks into the other side of the pond. They all breathed a sigh of relief, and began staggering to their feet, clutching at each other. But none of them could actually stand without immediately falling again, so they all had to crawl to the side of the pond, tails between their legs as more children came and began to laugh at them. Until Hidan caught one of them in the face with a well-aimed snowball, and a stream of colourful swear words.Despite their aches and bruises, they decided to have a guerrilla-style snowball fight on their way back, which gave everyone a lot of exercise, running uphill, diving behind snow-covered shrubs, and sneaking up on each other. Konan managed to facewash Sasori when he was distracted by Deidara, only to get shoved face-first into a snowbank by Pain. Hidan avenged her by pelting Pain with a dozen snowballs as he ran for cover, while Konan tried to extract herself, covered in snow from head to foot.When they got back to the cottage, they trooped inside, damp, hot, and laughing, and collapsed around the table for hot bowls of ramen, courtesy of Kakuzu. After cleaning up together, which miraculously only resulted in two broken dishes, thanks to Hidan who seemed to like to throw plates instead of pass them, they all headed back out again to walk down the hill to the village for groceries.As Konan followed the boys around the supermarket, watching as they rode on the cart, had sword fights with zucchinis, and made highly phallic displays with eggplants and oranges, laughing like kids, she was hit with a massive wave of gratitude not to be stuck in that hotel room, eating dinner in bed and watching Say Yes to the Dress reruns, completely alone.Sasori bought fancy wine and cheese, and ignored everyone else making fun of him for being snobby. “It’s the holidays, I’m allowed to be snobby,” he said, thwacking Deidara on the forehead with a chunk of brie.Pain bought Konan a pack of underwear, socks, and another bra on the way back, to wear during the break. Hidan and Kisame quickly co-opted the bra to twang satsumas at each other in the check-out line until Konan complained they were stretching it out, at which point they just pretended to garrote her with it.
Boys.
In the afternoon, Sasori marshalled them to start sorting through his grandma’s stuff.“No offence, man, but why the fuck do I need to do this? It’s your shit,” Hidan said with a yawn, scratching his stomach.Sasori gave him a smile, his eyes flinty. “Want to sleep in the snow? Be my guest.”“Ugh, you’re such a drama queen…” Hidan sighed, but he dropped the complaints.Konan got assigned to correspondence, so she ended up in the study, sorting through box after box of letters and the decades-long build-up of papers Sasori’s grandma had hung onto. Most of it was instructions from a doctor ten years ago, letters to old friends, birthday cards, notices about water or electric services. Eventually she found boxes full of Sasori’s report cards and paper projects from when he had been a child, which made for very funny reading. It was cute, somehow, imagining the seven-year-old Sasori getting a note home for being too shy and quiet in class, and then four months later another note home for being too loud and distracting.There was a little journal entry he’d written which made her heart ache – I wish mummy and daddy would come back. grama says they wont but i dont know why. She saved a stack of letters and reports to show him later, and saved any photos she found.At the bottom of the third box, she found a stack of papers and cards tied with ribbon. She pulled it off gently, and opened the first card, a little valentine with Sonic the Hedgehog on the front, and clumsy little-kid writing inside.
Dear Sasori,

I like you. Please be my valentine. From Jonathan.
“Aw!!” Konan said, smiling down at it.She picked up the next paper, which was a letter written in sparkly gel pen, with hearts over the i’s.
Hey Sasori,

I think you’re really cute, and you smell nice and have cute eyes and I love hanging out with you. At the mall yesterday, your jeans were so cool and you were so awesome doing that flip off the stairs. i love playing digimon with you. Your really sexy. Will you please please be my boyfriend?

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ariel
Konan was giggling, imagining a little girl twirling her hair and hiding her face in her pillow from embarrassment, writing this love letter. She skimmed through the next few until she found a birthday card that looked to be sent by a teenager.
Sasori,

Happy bday

I keep thinking about the other night, at the movies. Come to my place tonight, we won’t be interrupted. I’m gonna suck your dick so hard your chest folds in like a Capri Sun.

José
Konan stared down at the card, jaw on the floor. With no thought in her head except “Capri Sun,” she gathered up the stack, holding the cards and letters to her chest, and ran, snorting with laughter, down the stairs.“Guess what I found!?” she squeaked, skidding into the living room where most of the others were gathered, sorting through clothes, DVDs, and cassette tapes, and dumping the stack down on the table. Sasori glanced over. “Oh, god.” “What are these… love letters?” Itachi asked, picking one up curiously. “Should we do a dramatic reading?” Pain asked, poking his head out of the kitchen where he had been sorting through pans.Konan gasped. “Wait, wait, we should do like a fancy night, a wine and cheese and Sasori’s old valentines night!” she exclaimed.“...And then we can burn them all!” Deidara said from behind Konan.She whipped around to find him wearing an apron and rubber gloves, his hair all tied up in a messy bun, hands on his hips, looking sulky.“You want to burn them all?” Pain asked in surprise, glancing at Sasori, who was just grinning at Deidara.“Aw, are you jealous? Seriously?” Sasori asked, sliding his arms around Deidara’s waist.Deidara’s ears went slightly pink as he scowled. “ No. I just think it’s weird to keep all that stuff. Especially when you have a…” He trailed off, muttering and obviously trying to avoid Sasori’s gaze as he smiled up at him.“...a fiancé,” Sasori finished for him. “Sure, then. We’ll read them out after dinner and then you can burn them if that would make you happy.”“You’re making me sound like some kind of crazy possessive pyromaniac, hm,” Deidara grumbled.He glanced up. Everyone was carefully avoiding eye contact, trying not to laugh, while Sasori just said, “ I didn’t say it…”
“Hey!”

—
That evening, Deidara joined Konan, Sasori, and Pain in the kitchen, as they discussed what to make.“Want me to help?” he offered, leaning in the doorway.Sasori immediately turned around and took him by the shoulders, gazing seriously into his eyes.“I love you,” he said, shaking his head, “But you’re not setting foot anywhere near that stove.”“Why not?” Konan asked in surprise, turning around and holding out the carton of eggs he’d asked for. Sasori sighed, shaking his head, still looking at Deidara, who seemed kind of miffed. “Every time Deidara cooks–”“Not every time,” interjected the blonde, “You’re seriously exaggerating here–”“ Almost every time,” amended Sasori, “That this guy has stepped foot in this kitchen with the intention to cook, he has set a fire or made something explode.”“What?” Konan asked in disbelief.Sasori pointed wordlessly at the ceiling. Konan looked up and saw several burn marks.“Wow.”“The smaller ones were from popcorn,” Sasori sighed.“How did you do that with popcorn!?” Konan asked, stunned.Deidara was struggling to free himself from Sasori’s grip, plainly trying not to laugh. “Okay, it’s actually a very special skill, which is clearly not being properly appreciated…”“Well, when the popcorn looks more like lumps of coal… ah, no, that’s not generally going to be appreciated,” Pain said, folding his arms and leaning against the cabinets with a grin.“Some people would be grateful if their boyfriend wanted to cook for them, hm,” Deidara muttered, poking Sasori in the chest.Sasori just raised an eyebrow at him. “I appreciate the sentiment. I don’t  appreciate the fact that I haven’t been able to actually eat anything you’ve ever made.”Deidara burst out laughing. “How dare you!”In the end, Pain made chicken fried rice for everyone and Konan sautéed some gyoza on the side.They played Monopoly while they had dinner, since Konan had never played, and as everyone else darkly predicted, Kakuzu won by a landslide and forced them all into grovelling bankruptcy.As Deidara headed out to start the fire, and Sasori and Itachi got up to get out the wine and cheese for the valentine-reading and bonfire, the others decided to play charades. All the Monopoly losers secretly agreed to never correctly guess any of Kakuzu’s, which led to a hilarious outburst after they’d all looked uniformly blank as he mimed Sailor Moon, getting more and more annoyed with each mute ‘In the name of the moon!’ and ‘Moon! Prism! Power!’ pose. Hidan went next after he dropped back onto the sofa with an irritated sigh. Hidan looked at his prompt, shook his head, and after miming that it was a play with 11 words in the title, and making a farcical effort at the letter ‘E’ and a load of gesturing for the second word, Pain burst out “The Importance of Being Ernest, a Trivial Comedy for Serious People!!”“ That you get!??” Kakuzu roared, throwing up his hands as the others burst out laughing.They put on coats and scarves for the bonfire, which Deidara had happily started in a makeshift fire pit lined with bricks from a collapsed wall at the end of the yard.“Okay, stand back,” he said, grinning as he held an arm up in front of Konan.“What’s up?” she asked.“I made a firestarter!” he said, holding up what looked like several pinecones packed with sap, but smelled faintly of gasoline. “This’ll get things going…” “Oh, okay, okay, everyone back up…” Pain muttered hastily, grabbing Konan by the back of her coat and dragging her backwards hastily.Konan watched, mystified, as the others also retreated about fifteen feet, Hidan even holding Kakuzu in front of him as a shield.“Why? It’s just a —”
BOOM!
A huge spurt of flames exploded twenty feet upwards from the fire pit, illuminating Deidara’s silhouette in front of them as he cheered, fists in the air. Embers sparkled down in a shower and a wave of smoke washed over them. Pain patted out a few embers on Konan’s coat as she coughed and rubbed her eyes.“What the heck?” she spluttered, looking back at the bonfire, which was now crackling happily, the flames lowered but still five feet high, as Deidara threw more logs on. “Welcome to Deidara’s idea of a good time,” Itachi sighed, passing her with a tray of sliced cheese and crackers, rolling his eyes.Sasori followed behind, holding several bottles of wine and grinning, shaking his head. They brought out deck chairs and blankets, and passed around the wine and cheese plate as Sasori handed out his old valentines, cards, and letters. “There’s nothing from Deidara in here, is there?” Kisame asked suspiciously, leafing through his stack. Deidara whipped his head around, frowning at Sasori, who shook his head.“I don’t think so… Deidara’s never really been a fan of the written word,” Sasori said, shooting his boyfriend a grin.“That feels like an insult…” Deidara muttered, poking at the logs in the fire with a long stick. “Wait, was it your grandma who collected these together?” Konan asked, shuffling through her pile, eyes widening at how horny one of them was. “That’s kinda wild.”Sasori shrugged, biting down on a cracker and settling into his chair. “I guess she thought I’d want ‘em. She boxed some stuff up a while ago.”“Alright, alright. We’ll go in a circle – snaps for emotion, snaps for sexiness, toss it in the fire when you’re done,” Kisame said loudly, getting to his feet. “Agreed?”“Yes,” chorused the others, circled around the fire in groups, huddled under the blankets.“Alright, I’ll start,” he said. He cleared his throat dramatically, opening a heart-shaped card with a flourish. “‘Dear Sasori, will you go out with me, Yes or Yes? P.S.--’”“Boo, hiss, unoriginal, no snaps,” Itachi called, waving his wine glass, his cheeks already pink.“I’m not finished, ya lightweight,” Kisame shot back, “There’s a P.S.!”“More like a pee-yew …” Itachi slurred into his wine glass, and the others all laughed.They got through all the valentine cards Sasori had received in grade school, and then it was mostly birthday and holiday cards, presumably as most of the actual flirting was happening via texting. There was a very cute note written by Sasori’s granny which just said that he’d come to tell her he was in a ‘it’s complicated’ relationship on Facebook with three kids in his year. She had been clearly confused but wanted to record how proud he’d been.“Proud of that?” Kisame asked in disbelief. “Three at once? Sasori, you dog!”By the time they reached the bottom of the stack, the as-yet undefeated champion was still the Capri Sun card, but some others had come pretty close.Finally, Sasori stood up, holding the last letter in his hands. “Dear Deidara,” he began.“Wait, what?” Konan asked on a hiccup as everyone looked around, giggling. “Is this one you wrote?”“Look at his face!” Itachi said in what was probably meant to be a whisper but definitely wasn’t. Deidara was staring at Sasori from behind, his expression hard to read. He looked half-surprised, half-wary, and his ears were turning pink.“You probably don’t want me–” Sasori began.“Don’t read it!!” Deidara yelped, kicking the back of Sasori’s leg anxiously.Sasori turned around and grinned at him, continuing, “You probably don’t want me to read this but–”The others laughed as Deidara scowled, jerking his chin away, ears bright red. Sasori moved forward to him, reached out and ran his fingers through his hair. It looked like such an easy, intimate gesture Konan suddenly felt like she was intruding on a private conversation.“– but I will, I’m sorry. I want to share how crazy I am about you. I feel like even though I’ve tried in hundreds of ways, to varying success, to make you really feel and believe how much I love you, there’s always something holding you back from me.”Deidara’s eyes locked onto Sasori’s, his face flickering in the firelight. Sasori opened his palm as he stroked Deidara’s hair, and Deidara pressed into him.“I understand why now, and I don’t care,” Sasori continued softly. “If you’ll let me, I want to spend every single day of the rest of my life with you, and I want you to spend the rest of yours with me. Every second I’m on this earth, I will love you.”Deidara’s mouth crumpled and he reached up to cover his face. As Sasori continued, Konan could hear a smile in his voice.“I want you to know I’ll be there, that I’ll never, ever leave, that you’ll always, always be the most important thing in my life. That you’ll be mine forever. That I’ll always be yours.”Part-way through, Pain had got out of his chair quietly and slipped back towards the cottage. He reappeared several feet behind Deidara and gave a thumbs up to Sasori, who nodded. There were several clicks of a lighter, and Deidara turned around in surprise as suddenly the air was full of sparks and a high hissing. A dozen fireworks blasted off into the sky, and everyone gasped and looked up as they went off high above with explosive bangs and cracks. They burst into spirals and showers of golden sparkles.Konan screamed with delight, pressing her hands to her cheeks, then gasped and covered her mouth as she looked back down to see Sasori on one knee in the snow, holding Deidara’s hand, the one already wearing the promise ring.Deidara’s lips were pressed tightly together, the blush from his ears finally spreading to his cheeks as he sat stiffly, his hand in Sasori’s, avoiding his gaze.“This is kinda overkill, don’t you think, Sasori,” he mumbled. “I said yes already…”“Sure, but I didn’t want to waste the fireworks,” Sasori said cheerfully.“You mean… Wait, you were planning to ask me in front of them!?” Deidara yelped in disbelief, staring down at Sasori, who smirked.“Why, you think that would have been a bad idea?” he asked, a sarcastic note in his teasing voice.“You idiot, ” Deidara sighed, pulling Sasori up by the collar and smashing their foreheads together before kissing him as the others whooped and wolf-whistled.—--They all stayed outside until the wind changed direction and started blowing smoke in their eyes. Deidara began putting the fire out as the others gathered up the wine glasses, shivering in the increased cold.“My question,” Konan said to Sasori as she helped him fold his blanket, “Is how you knew what we were going to do.”“What do you mean?” he asked.“I mean… this was your original proposal plan, right?”Sasori shrugged, a smile tugging the edges of his mouth, his gaze shifting to Deidara’s face, lit warm and sunny by the dying fire. “Yeah, pretty much,” he said.“But… but how did you know Pain would suggest reading your valentines out loud?” she asked, dumbfounded.“Okay, well I was in on it,” Pain admitted, grinning over his wine glass, carrying his folding chair.“But I’m the one who suggested we do the wine and cheese…” Konan said, mystified.“...which I bought when we were all together so I knew you knew we had it…” Sasori said, smirking at her.Deidara joined them, having clearly been listening to the conversation. “How did you know I’d want to set the letters on fire?” he asked in an uncharacteristically small voice, scuffing his foot on the ground, hands in his pockets.Konan bit her mitten at how cute he looked. Sasori just laughed. “You’re really asking me that?”“Well…”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

That night, Konan was careful to lay a towel on the floor by the bathtub before her shower, not trusting the others not to leave puddles behind. The night before, she’d been so exhausted she’d barely thought about the fact she was sharing a bed with Pain, and since she’d gone to sleep way before him, it hadn’t totally registered. But as they were showering one after the other, and brushing their teeth together, there was no way it wasn’t top of her mind. She was somehow hyper aware of everything he did.She watched him wash his face with cleanser and clean his piercings. Her shoulder brushed against his arm as she flossed. His eyes met hers in the mirror and she blushed.“Why are you watching me floss!?” she said, embarrassed, turning away.“ You’re the one watching me, ” he replied with a laugh.“Well, I have to look at something …”She was blushing again as they got into bed together. Pain seemed to run warm, so he was sleeping shirtless, just in sweatpants. Konan was borrowing his t-shirt again, and only wearing panties underneath. They did a crossword together on Pain’s phone as the others filed past to use the shower, Konan not sure how close she should scooch to see the screen. It’s a little hard to read the vibe. We’re dating now, and we’ve shared a bed platonically before, but… the last time we were in a bed together, apart from last night… Konan felt herself blushing, remembering the night of the winter dance. Pain pulling her tights off. His arms wrapped tight around her thighs, fingers digging into the skin. His eyes rolling back in his head as he pulled her down onto his face, moaning into her, clutching at her hips. You taste so fucking good…
How am I possibly going to be able to sleep now!?
“You okay?” Pain’s voice snapped her out of her daydream.“Um… yep. Yep, fine. Totally fine. Totally completely, all good… nothing, um, going on…” She gabbled in a high voice, cheeks red. She turned over and started fanning her face, rolling her eyes at herself, hoping he wasn’t going to ask what the hell that was.“What the hell was that?” he asked, laughing.
Of course.
“Nothing, nothing,” she said. “Thirteen across is postulate. ”“Oh, nice,” he said, typing it in.“Want the light off?” Itachi called to them from the hallway. “Everyone’s done showering.”“Sure,” Pain called back and immediately they were plunged into darkness, apart from the glow from his phone. “You sleepy?” he asked Konan.“Sure,” she said, and the light from his phone went out.As soon as they were totally enveloped by the dark, it felt like every nerve of her body was on sudden high alert, feeling the weight of him sinking the mattress just a foot away, hearing the rustle of the sheets as he shifted, his breathing. “So, are you normally a cuddling person, or not really?” he asked from the patch of darkness in front of her, and she could hear the smile in his warm voice.“What do you mean?”“Well, the last time we went to sleep at the same time in the same bed, you were very much a cuddling person.”“Mhmm.”“But now you’re like a suspicious cat perched on the edge of the mattress, staring at me in the dark.”“How do you know I’m staring!?”“I can see the green light from the smoke alarm reflecting in your eyes.”“Oh.”“Are you uncomfortable?” he asked, sounding concerned.“No, no,” she said, trying to sound reassuring. “Sorry. I’m kind of nervous though.”“Nervous?”“Excited?”“Wow, excited , huh? What do you think’s going to happen?” he asked her teasingly.“Okay, nevermind,” she grumbled, rolling over to face away.A long arm reached out and pulled her backwards, sliding her across the mattress until she felt Pain’s chest against her back, where it looped around her shoulders.“Sorry for teasing you,” he said quietly, mouth brushing the back of her neck. “Is this okay?”“Yeah,” Konan said, rubbing her lips softly over the back of his hand. “Are you mad?”“No.”She rolled over and inched closer to him, pressing her face into his chest and slipping her arm over his bare waist, biting her lips as she slid her hand across his warm, soft skin. He shivered under her fingers.“That tickles.”“Sorry.”“It’s okay.”He reeled her in closer, and she lifted up so he could slide his right arm under her, wrapping her loosely in a hug. “This comfy?” he asked.“Um… yes…” she said, her eyes a few inches away from his nipple ring, completely and utterly enveloped in the smell of his body wash, his body…“What’s up?”She scooted backwards. “Okay. How do I say this…”She could make out his concerned, disconcerted expression in the dark, and giggled. “It’s nothing serious , I promise,” she said.“Do I stink?” he asked.“ No, no, I mean… I mean you smell nice. Really nice.”“Oh yeah?” The teasing note was back in his voice.“Yeah,” she said. “And that’s part of the problem. Pain, I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but you’re really sexy.”Pain laughed. “Thanks, Konan. That’s nice to hear, I’m glad you think so.”Konan rolled her eyes. “It’s just… ugh, okay, it’s distracting when I’m trying to fall asleep, that’s all. So if you like, press me into your chest really close, and, and you smell really nice, and I just keep thinking about, um…”“Yeah?” She could hear the grin in his voice and felt him shifting forward on the mattress.“Ugh, whatever,” she said, relenting. “I’ll just get used to it.”He laughed and wrapped her in his arms again. She sighed, pressing her cheek against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. It was actually very soothing, when she focused on it. She scooched closer, trying to get comfortable. She found her knees kind of pressed against his thighs annoyingly, so she lifted her top leg and slung it around him, like she usually did with one of her pillows. There was a moment of silence. “Hey Konan?”“Yeah?”“Speaking of distracting… what’s this leg doing?”Konan opened her eyes and looked up at Pain. “Hmm? It’s comfortable for me. Does it bother you?” Pain laughed on an exhale, shifting. “I mean, not bother per se, but… you’re also really sexy.”She laughed, too. “Um, thanks. That’s nice to hear, I’m glad you think so,” she said, mimicking him.“Very funny. But… you’re really not wearing a lot, and if you wrap your leg around me like that, um, it’s gonna be kind of hard for me…”“What, really?”“ ‘What, really?’ she says,” he muttered, bopping the top of her head with his chin. “Shoo, shoo, get this outta here,” he said jokingly, lifting her leg off of him.“I’ve been evicted!” she cried.“You sure have.”They fell into a comfortable silence for a few minutes, holding each other loosely, before Konan suddenly gave a huge gasp.“Ooh, I have a great idea!!” she exclaimed.“Let me guess: you’re going to gasp suddenly in the dark and give your boyfriend a heart attack?” Pain asked drily.“Aw, boyfriend!”“Who do you think I am, your florist?” he snarked, and she laughed. “What’s this idea, then?”Konan shimmied her way up so she was level with him, scooting her head onto the pillow next to him. “Do you think we could get the others to play Truth or Dare? Since we can actually like, go outside and go to town and stuff for the dares, instead of being stuck in school. It’ll be more fun!!”“Maybe,” Pain said, grinning at her across the pillow. “Am I allowed to give you any dares…?”“What kind of dares?” she asked, giggling as his hands slid up and down her waist, tickling her.“Oh, I have a few ideas…”—The next morning, Kisame made everyone scrambled eggs, hashbrowns, sausages, and fried tomatoes for breakfast. Pain had a huge mug of black coffee and got a refill as well. “Didn’t sleep a lot,” he said in response to Konan’s questioning look.“As a heads up, before I forget, Deidara and I will be going to visit my grandma for a couple hours on Christmas Day,” Sasori announced, sitting down at the table with a truly impressive array of bed head. “We’ll be back for dinner, blah blah blah, don’t blow anything up when we’re gone.”“Surely there’s little chance of that if you’re taking Deidara with you,” Itachi said, grinning at Deidara, who stole a hashbrown from his plate in vengeance.“Okay, so you’re going tomorrow… Do you guys want to play Truth or Dare today?” Konan asked, looking hopefully down the table.Pain, Sasori, Deidara, and Kisame looked up, nodding. The others didn’t look very enthusiastic.“I just thought it might be a nice break from cleaning out Sasori’s granny’s stuff…” she said, pushing her lips out in a pout.“Wait, wait, that’s a damn good point,” Hidan said, rubbing his chin. “Play truth or dare… no folding granny gitch. I’m in.”“Thanks for being so respectful of my only living relative,” Sasori said drily, twanging a fried tomato at Hidan’s face with his spoon.“So we’ll play?” Konan asked.The others nodded.“We’re going into town for drinks tonight, too, right?” Kakuzu asked, getting up and collecting dirty plates. “I could use it.”“Yeah. So, I guess if anyone has any dares they have to do with other people, we can save them for later, too,” Deidara yawned, standing up and stretching. “Okay, let’s do some cleaning, and then we can play after lunch,” Sasori said, ignoring Hidan as he quickly skittered out of the room at the mention of ‘cleaning’.Konan and Pain teamed up to fold and bag Granny Chiyo’s clothes. Sasori said she had plenty at the care home, and didn’t need any of what was left, so they sorted through everything that was still in good condition, and set it aside in bags ready to donate, putting anything too far gone into a separate pile. It took a surprisingly long time, and they had just finished tying the last bag of pantsuits and blazers when Hidan called them to say the pizza he’d ordered had arrived.They helped themselves to a couple slices of pizza, and joined the others in the living room for Truth or Dare.“How about our gracious host goes first,” Kisame said, giving Sasori a sharklike grin. “My pleasure,” Sasori said, smirking at the others. “Konan, Truth or Dare?”“Truth,” Konan replied.“Who in this room have you had a sex dream about?”Konan sucked her teeth. “You know what, you guys were right, first thought best thought, Truth or Dare sucks, let’s pack it in,” she said, getting to her feet and trying to take her empty pizza plate back to the kitchen, but Sasori stuck out a leg to block her way.“Come on, this was your idea,” he said, grinning at her evilly. “So, spill.”Konan sat back down next to Pain and sighed heavily, turning to hide her face behind his shoulder, trying to ignore his silent laughter. “Um… Pain, obviously…” she said, her voice muffled in his shirt. “Really?” he asked, interested. “I’m excited to hear about that…”“Oh jeez,” she sighed. “Also, Sasori and Deidara…”“Oh god ,” Deidara groaned at the same time as Sasori said, “ Obviously.” ”“To be fair, you guys have sex really loud right next to my room all the time …” she said defensively. “Um, and also Kakuzu,” she mumbled.“A woman of taste,” Kakuzu said, nonchalantly helping himself to another slice of pizza as Hidan stared from him to Konan, jaw slack.“ Him!? What about me!?” he exclaimed, almost sounding actually offended. “I’m a fucking stallion, baby!”“She’s saving the best for last, I’m sure,” Kisame said drily, patting him on the arm.Konan emerged slowly from behind Pain, trying not to make eye contact with anyone, very aware of her burning cheeks and Pain and Sasori’s smirks. “Okay, okay, it’s my turn,” she said, clearing her throat in what she hoped was a dignified manner. “Kisame, Truth or Dare?”“Dare.”“I dare you to go outside and do the Single Ladies dance in your underwear.”“Yikes,” Itachi commented, grinning, as Kisame got to his feet with a sigh.Once he got back inside, everyone having screamed and wolf whistled at him as he shimmied and bumped his hips, knee-deep in the snow in his shark-patterned boxers, the Truth or Dare really ramped up.Kisame dared Hidan to lie shirtless on the table and let everyone use him as a charcuterie board for the rest of the game, including keeping an olive in his belly button, which was hilarious and also disgusting – nobody actually wanted to eat the vaguely warm salami slices off his stomach, but listening to him complain the whole time was absolutely worth it. Hidan dared Konan to strip naked and do a snow angel. After making everyone swear not to look, Konan did it, and came back, yanking on her hoodie and sweatpants, teeth chattering, to ask Deidara who in the room he had ever had a sex dream about, which turned out to just be Sasori (admitted through gritted teeth, pointedly not looking at the person in question, who wore an incredibly smug expression). Deidara dared Itachi to retrieve and eat the pimento olive from Hidan’s belly button without using his hands. Itachi dared Kakuzu to eat three pieces of salami off Hidan’s bare chest, no hands. (By this point, Hidan was yelling that he was being punished three times instead of just once.) Kakuzu asked Konan what her sex dream about him had been about, and Konan, bright red in the face and trying desperately not to look at Pain, who was shaking with laughter again, patting her on the back, recounted as briefly as possible a vague and blurry encounter in his fight club ring. Konan dared Pain to do his best imitation of Deidara’s belt routine from the dance showcase, but had to cover her face, blushing, when he actually did a really good job , grinding on the floor and rolling his body as the others screamed, covering their eyes. Pain dared Itachi to prank call the local pizza place. Itachi dared Kisame to eat a spoonful of sriracha. Kisame whispered a secret dare to Deidara, telling the others it was a surprise; Deidara scowled, looking unhappy about it, and dared Sasori to let him cook breakfast the next day. Sasori dared Konan to sit in Pain’s lap, facing and straddling him, for the rest of the game. Konan asked Sasori the weirdest places he’d had any sexual encounters, which ended up being a surprisingly long list including various closets and classrooms in the school, the back of a taxi, the back of a bus, the beach, the washroom in a bar, and a Victoria’s Secret changing room. Sasori fired the question back at her, and all Konan had to offer was that she had eaten out a girl in the top bunk of a bunkbed at a house party.Eventually everyone ran out of ideas for dares, and Hidan headed off to shower, complaining loudly he was going to stink like a pimento sandwich for the rest of the holidays. Pain leaned in to talk to Konan, but Deidara took her by the wrist and led her away first, saying he wanted to hang out. Konan waved to Pain and followed Deidara into the room he was sharing with Sasori. He shut the door behind them.“What’s up?” Konan asked, sitting down on the bed opposite him as Deidara stretched out, leaning against the headboard.“Two things,” Deidara said, pressing his hands to his face. “First, Kisame dared me to…” Deidara broke off, giving a huge sigh and rolling his eyes. “Quote, ‘Dress in drag tonight and hit on Sasori at the bar without him knowing it’s me’.”Konan burst out laughing. “How the hell are you going to do that? He’ll obviously know it’s you!”  Deidara blew a raspberry, folding his arms. “I know that. It’s fucking stupid. But he said if I don’t do it, he’s going to bring a wheelbarrow of snow in here and dump it on me and Sasori while we’re sleeping.”Konan giggled. “Okay, yeah. That’s a shitty punishment.”“So, can I borrow those clothes you were wearing when you came here?”Konan raised her eyebrows. “Yeah. I can give them a wash. The jeans probably won’t fit you, though. They’re small on me.”Deidara shrugged. “Hey, I’m not going for total accuracy here, obviously.”“Can I do your makeup, too?” Konan asked, getting kind of excited for it. “Oh, I think I saw a curling iron in the bathroom – I could do your hair differently!” Deidara snorted, rolling his eyes. “Oh, fine. Knock yourself out.” “Yay!” Konan grinned. “What was the other thing you wanted to talk about?”“Oh, that.” Deidara grabbed a pillow and pulled it over his face. “Sasori’s taking me to meet his grandma tomorrow.”“Yeah, he said.”“I haven’t met her before.”“Okay.”“I’m just worried…” “If you’re gonna talk through a pillow, you gotta be a little louder than that, babe,” Konan said, patting his leg.“I’m worried about making a good impression,” Deidara mumbled.“Why?”“Because of the whole… ring thing…” He shifted uncomfortably. “And I don’t know how to make a good impression on old ladies.”“Bring her Werthers,” Konan joked. “Don’t set fire to anything?”“I guess. I also worry, like, what if he’s already talked to her about me?”“He probably has,” Konan reasoned. “I mean, I’d assume so.”Deidara groaned. “What if she remembers everything he’s ever said about me?”“Would he have said anything bad?”“ Anything bad… ” Deidara repeated with a snort. He tossed the pillow off his face. “I keep forgetting you weren’t here last year.”Konan laughed. “Aw! You’re used to having me around, huh?”Deidara’s ears reddened. “Yeah. It’s nice, hm.”“Cutie,” Konan said, poking him.“I changed my mind, it’s awful.”“Hey!”“Anyway, I’m kinda worried because if he told her anything about me from last year, I feel like that’s a bad first impression to try to come back from, you know?”“I mean, you didn’t beat him up or something, did you?”Deidara bit the inside of his cheek and took a moment to answer.“You didn’t…!” Konan gasped.“No!! No… I mean… I’m pretty sure it doesn’t count. We fought a lot, and he was really pissed off with me all the time, that’s all. I think.”“I’m sure he’s told her a lot more good stuff than bad stuff, though,” Konan said reasonably.“Well, maybe… Ugh, ” Deidara burst out suddenly, pressing his hands to his face. “I just don’t want to go, it’s so stressful… It’s just like… meeting the family, you know.”“Ohh,” Konan said, finally understanding. “Oh, right. I see why you’re nervous.”“What if she hates me, and she tries to tell him to take back the ring?” Deidara asked, rubbing anxiously at the silver ring on his finger.“I’m sure she wouldn’t,” Konan said soothingly. “Have you told Sasori you’re nervous?”“Of course not!” Deidara exclaimed. Of course not, Konan thought to herself wearily.“Why not?” she asked.“If I tell him I’m nervous to meet his grandma because I want her to like me , because it matters to me ,” Deidara explained like he was talking to a four-year-old, “I will never, ever hear the end of it.”“It could be meaningful to him, though,” Konan said brightly.“That’s the problem!” Deidara exclaimed. “If it’s meaningful, he’ll be all gross about it. He’ll dissolve into a stupid little melting pile and he will tease me about it for fucking ever. He’ll be all, ‘oh, so you really do care, aw you were nervous to meet my family, you want granny’s blessing to marry me, oh Deidara you’re being so cute and open with your feelings, I would marry you even if my granny hated you, I’ll marry you right fucking now , you’re never getting away from me, I love you—’” “Okay, okay!” Konan cut him off, laughing. “Well, what can I do about it? You want me to come with you?”Deidara snorted. “Thanks, but no. How are you with subtle investigations?”Konan bit down on a smile, knowing what Sasori would say the answer was, but not wanting to pass up the opportunity. “I am amazing at them! I am so subtle, I’m like a… um…”“You’re like an appropriate simile, got it,” Deidara said, rolling his eyes. “Well, you’re the only available option, hm. You’ll do.”“I’m flattered.”“Can you find out what Sasori has told his grandma about me? Just so I can like… mentally prepare?”Konan saluted him. “I’m on it!” She slid off the bed into a forward roll and crawled like a ninja out of the room, ignoring Deidara’s snort of derisive laughter when she lost her balance while opening the door.—Konan sidled up to Sasori, who was cleaning the kitchen, and perched on the counter, trying to look nonchalant.“You being useless and in the way for a reason?” Sasori asked after a minute. “Um, ouch. I’m here to keep you company.”Sasori raised an eyebrow at her. “Why aren’t you keeping your boyfriend company?”“I am a multifaceted person with many relationships and friendships in my life,” Konan said loftily, “And if I don’t water the plant of our friendship, it will die.”Sasori snorted. “Alright. Water away.”“I’m insulted you’re not taking me to meet your grandma, since you said I was like your sister,” Konan said, hoping this was a friendly and unsuspicious opening point into the conversation. “Am I so unimportant to you?”Sasori wrung out the cloth he was using to scrub the stovetop beneath the tap and shook it out. “That’s cute. Did Deidara send you to ask me about my granny?”Konan stared at the back of his head, jaw dropped, before trying to salvage the situation. “Uh, no? Why would he?”“Because he’s never met her before, she’s my only family, he hates meeting new people, he’s feeling pressure because of the ring I gave him,” Sasori rattled off, peeling off his rubber gloves. “Maybe he’s worried about making a good impression, or he thinks she’s going to try and welcome him to the family, and he hates that kind of thing… Could be a lot of reasons.” He shrugged, turning to look at her, folding his arms and leaning against the counter.Konan gaped at him. “Why do you guys have communication problems when you know him so well?” she asked, before realizing what she’d said. “I mean, sorry, not problems—” Sasori gave her a wolfish grin. “Yeah, you just try to back that one up.” He shrugged. “I get it wrong sometimes, as you know. Deidara’s complicated. and he surprises me a lot. But this, being worried about meeting Granny, I think this is normal. Not unexpected. Not crazy,” he said fondly. “So, am I right?”“Well, yeah,” Konan admitted, folding like a card. “He asked me to ask you what you’ve told your grandma about him, because he thinks you might have told her some stuff that happened last year that he thinks might make her dislike him. He’s worried she’ll think he’s not good enough for you, I think.”“Aww, really!?” Sasori exclaimed, his eyes creasing into happy crescents.“And that’s the response he didn’t want to see, so he sent me.”Sasori laughed. “Fine. Luckily for Deidara, I didn’t tell granny anything about him until we had gotten together, so I didn’t mention all the…”“Bad stuff?” Konan guessed.Sasori made a face. “There’s nothing bad to say about him at all, and there wasn’t back then, either. Frustrating, sure. I could have told her I was in constant emotional torment over a guy who wouldn’t admit he didn’t hate me, but…” He caught Konan’s eye, grinning. “That’s not really the vibe of our relationship. I think I told her what he looks like, that he makes sculptures, a little bit about his family, and that we had started going out, and then just general updates. Not a whole lot.”“Okay. And are you visiting her to like, present Deidara as your future… husband?” Konan turned pink at the word. It was still so crazy to think about, even though they probably weren’t planning to get married for years and years. The edge of Sasori’s mouth lifted. “Something like that. She’s not super well, and I want him to meet her, at least once.”“Oh. Gosh, I’m sorry.”“I mean, she’s not on death’s door or anything,” Sasori shrugged, pulling the rubber gloves back on and turning back to the sink. “Got enough to report back to your master?”“Woof,” Konan said, grinning and trotting out of the kitchen to tell Deidara.—Pain caught up with her as she left Deidara’s room, having relayed the information from Sasori. “Hey!” he said, looping an arm around her shoulders as she headed down the hallway, falling into step beside her. “Where’ve you been all day?”Konan leaned into him, putting an arm around his waist. “Interfering with Sasori and Deidara.”“Classic. Very fun, I highly recommend it.”“Deidara said it’s basically what you did all last year,” Konan said, looking up at him. “Is that true?”Pain scoffed. “I mean…not all last year. But most of it, yeah.” He followed her to the kitchen, where she grabbed them a ginger cookie each. “You wanna hang out?”Konan offered him the cookie and he bit into it. “I would love to. There’s not really anywhere private, though,” she said in a low voice, as Hidan and Kakuzu passed the kitchen, arguing loudly and proving her point.Pain shrugged and tilted his head at the kitchen window. “Wanna head outside?”Five minutes later they had their coats and boots on. Konan followed Pain, her gloved hand in his as he walked around the cottage, looking for a place that was shielded both from the wind, and from the view of anyone inside.He leaned back against the wall of the cottage, to the right of the window to the study where Itachi and Kisame were staying, and pulled her into him, smiling. “So, what was bothering Deidara?”“He’s nervous about meeting Sasori’s granny.”“Gotcha,” Pain said, lacing his gloved fingers with hers. “Meeting the family, huh?”“Mhmm,” Konan said, stretching up to kiss him on the cheek. “Pretty scary.”He grinned down at her. “You scared to meet my family?” Konan blinked, feeling her cheeks prickling with heat. “You want me to meet them?”One corner of Pain’s mouth stretched up in a teasing half-smile. “Being that you’re my beautiful and amazing girlfriend… Uh, yeah, it would be nice to get you to meet them.”“Hey,” she said, blushing at the compliment and smacking the front of his coat gently.Pain was grinning as he leaned down to kiss her left cheek, then the right, then the tip of her nose. “Are you nervous, too?” he asked teasingly. “Yeah, kind of,” she mumbled, pressing her face into his coat and sliding her hands into his pockets. “That’s normal, though.”“They’ll like you,” he said reassuringly. “And you probably won’t get to meet them until the spring or something, anyway.”“Right.” Konan was biting her lips, half-nervous and half-excited. She’d never ‘met the parents’ ever before, and she wasn’t at all sure what Pain’s family would be like… but it was also super cute he was already thinking of introducing her, as someone important to him.“Do you want me to meet your parents?” Pain asked, drumming playfully on the top of her head.Konan jerked her head up in surprise, staring at him. “Why would you want to!?” she asked, kind of dumbfounded.He raised his eyebrows. “Because you’re my girlfriend… and they’re your parents…?” he said like it was obvious.“Oh. Okay, sorry. I’m just like…” She laughed awkwardly. “I’m… I never thought about that, I guess? I don’t think any of my friends have ever met either of my parents, actually.”Pain gave her a weird look. “What do you mean?”“Like, I guess they must have when I was really little, and my mum was better,” Konan said, frowning. “But other than that, I can’t think of any times it happened…” She shook her head. “I mean, do you want to meet my dad!?”Pain shrugged., his arms around her. “Sure.”“That doesn’t make you nervous?”He shook his head. “Not really, no.”She laughed. “You’re a pretty unflappable guy, huh?”“That’s right.”“Can’t be flapped?”“Can’t be flapped.”Konan giggled, shoving her hands further into his pockets. “Alright. Well, maybe not my dad, though. But if you want to, I can bring you with me next time I visit my mum.”Pain smiled. “I’d like that.”She tipped her chin up to kiss him. “So, we’ve all heard about Kakuzu’s starring role in your subconscious,” Pain said with a mischievous grin, “But I’d like to hear a little more about your sex dream about me…” Konan pressed her face into his coat as he laughed into her hair. “Which one..?” “More than one, huh?” he asked, pulling her closer into him. “Which was your favourite?” he whispered, lowering his face to hers.She shivered, feeling his warm breath on her face, and looked up, her nose grazing his cheek. She met his gaze and bit her lips, feeling her face heating up again, over-aware of his body pressing against her through their winter coats. “You want me to tell you?”“Yeah.” He kissed down her forehead, trailing his lips down past her right eyebrow, across her cheek. Her eyes fluttered shut and she started unzipping his jacket slowly, sliding her hands inside, holding him.“You had just been in a fight,” she said softly, eyes closed, remembering, her breath catching and her head tilting to the side as Pain started kissing her neck. “You were breathing hard, and you pinned me against the wall.”She felt him grin against her skin as he slowly unzipped her coat, too, kissing down to her collarbones. “Like this?” he whispered, taking her wrists in his hands and spinning her, smiling at her gasp as he pushed her back against the wall, holding her hands above her head and closing the gap between them, pressing in. “Yeah, like that,” she breathed, looking into his eyes, feeling the cold stone of the cottage against her back, against the backs of her hands, feeling the pressure of his hand pinning her wrists, his other hand at her jaw, leaning down into her. “Then what?” he said, his teeth grazing down her neck. She shivered, her pulse jumping, mouth opening as her breathing picked up. “You… you kissed me, and you were touching my body,” she whispered, barely audible over the wind, but he caught him grinning again before she closed her eyes. He kissed her, pushing her back against the wall, taking her lower lip in his mouth and sucking it until she opened her mouth. He slid his tongue in, his leg shifting between hers, and she gasped, her breath fanning against his cheek, pressing herself back into the wall, the cold hard stone contrasting with the heat of his mouth, his body. His free hand cupped her face, then travelled down, slipping into her open coat, pulling her shirt up and sliding across to her waist, pulling at her. His thigh pressed between her legs and she gasped, the air between them heating up, his breathing faster against her cheek, his tongue deep in her mouth, exploring her. Her feet slipped slightly and she moaned as he held her up by his grip on her wrists, his hand gripping her waist, his thigh between her legs. He sighed into her, his hand on her body sliding lower—With a huge crack and a shower of snow, the window they were standing next to swung open abruptly, whacking into the side of Pain’s head. He broke away from Konan with a loud swear, his hand clapping to his temple. “What the fuck!?”“Oh, there you are, man.” It was Kisame’s voice. He leaned out the window, craning his neck to see them. “Konan, too, hey?”“Fuck off! You fucking hit me in the face!” Pain said, rubbing his face as Konan shook snow out of her hair, staggering away from the wall.“Sorry about that. Can you give us a hand? We’re trying to get a wardrobe down the stairs.”“You guys can’t do it by yourself?” Pain snapped, glaring at Kisame, who grinned ruefully.“Kakuzu threw his back out trying and Hidan’s stuck between the wardrobe and the wall, yelling his head off. Shouldn’t take long?”Pain rolled his eyes, rubbing the side of his head, his hand coming away a little bloody. “Fucking hell…” He looked at Konan, who smiled and shook her head, flustered.“Go, go! No worries!” she said, waving him off.Pain gave her a long, burning look, making her blush. He smiled and left as she shooed him off, saying TBC over his shoulder as he headed around the house. Konan took a moment to fan at her face to cool her cheeks down before following his footsteps through the snow and heading back inside. She pulled off her coat and boots, blowing on her cold hands. She could hear a load of yelling from the staircase. Shower’s free, then, she figured, excited to warm up. As she headed to the bathroom, she saw Pain’s phone lying on a side table. She grinned, getting an idea, and picked it up. Her heart was still pounding, and she could still feel the cold pressure of the wall against her back, the weight of his hand on her wrists, his other hand hot on her bare skin, sliding down… She undressed quickly, fixing her hair in the mirror, feeling giddy with excitement – she’d never taken a sexy picture before, but she wanted to do it now, when she felt reckless and turned on, not worrying. She turned on Pain’s phone and swiped up on the camera – he had the kind where you could take about five pictures without needing to unlock it. She took several selfies from different angles. She pushed her tits together and winked in one. She took one in the mirror, sitting on the counter, showing her ass. In the last one, she just made a funny face, smiling as she turned the phone off again and started the shower, excited to see Pain’s reaction, hoping she made him laugh.By the time she got out of the shower, the boys were just finishing up getting the wardrobe down the stairs. Hidan was freed, all of them were sweaty and grouchy, and a drawer had fallen out of the wardrobe and hit Itachi on the foot. He joined Kakuzu on the couch, muttering darkly. Konan put Pain’s phone back where she’d found it, and headed to the kitchen to make a hot chocolate.Soon after that, everyone started getting ready to go out to the pub. As she had planned with Deidara, Konan announced that she had a headache, and she’d take an ibuprofen and wait for it to go away before joining them. Deidara said he would wait with her and then walk down to the pub with her, since she didn’t know how to get there. Kisame gave them both a solemn nod over the heads of the others, who shrugged and said they’d meet them down there. Pain offered to stay, but when Konan whispered the real reason she was coming late with Deidara, grinned and said he’d go early so he could see Sasori’s reaction.Konan pretended to lie down with a headache while the others dressed and headed out the door, then leapt up and followed Deidara into the bathroom, grinning at his resigned expression. “Ready for your hair and make-up?” she asked as he pulled off his shirt and sweater, looking down at the folded pile of clothes Konan had washed and dried with an expression like a condemned man looking at the waiting gallows. “I guess,” he sighed, and sat down on the edge of the bath, reaching for the black turtleneck as Konan plugged in the curling iron and hair dryer.—Forty minutes later, Deidara had a beautiful blowout, his long bangs swept to the side to show his whole face. Konan didn’t have a lot of makeup with her, and it would have been the wrong skin tone in any case, but he had winged eyeliner, mascara, gelled eyebrows, and tinted lipgloss. He was in his own black skinny jeans under the black turtleneck and long black leather coat. Miraculously, he had kind of small feet for his height, so he had managed to get into the knee-high heeled boots. Konan stood back to get the complete effect.“You look pretty good, actually,” she said, tilting her head as he gave her an unimpressed look. “Kind of like Blake Lively—”“Take that back right now,” Deidara snapped, tossing his hair, and Konan laughed, apologizing.Konan gave him the Birkin purse to complete the look, on the strict understanding not to lose it. He rolled his eyes and slung an arm around her to hobble together down the hill. It was pretty slow going, making sure they didn’t bring each other down in the snow, and they spent the whole walk to the pub shoving each other and laughing. “Okay, so what exactly do you have to do?” Konan asked when they finally reached the village and saw the pub a couple blocks away.“Uh… I think see how long I can flirt with him before he recognizes me,” Deidara replied.“Are you gonna do a different voice?”“No, why?”Konan snorted with laughter. “I mean, he’ll know it’s you as soon as you talk, though!”“Konan, he’s gonna know it’s me as soon as he sees me. This is strictly an avoiding-snow-getting-shoveled-on-my-bed manoeuvre, hm.”“Oh, right. Okay. You’re very noble and self-sacrificing.”“Thank you.”They reached the pub. Several people were hanging around outside, smoking. Konan and Deidara peered through the window, trying to see if they could spot the others. Konan was aware of how funny they must look together, since Deidara was looking very done-up and fancy, hair curled, heels on, and she was wearing an old woman’s coat and boots, and a sweatsuit. “There they are,” Deidara said, pointing several tables deep into the restaurant. “I guess I should stay outside, or at least not join them until you’ve been recognized, otherwise they’ll figure I must be with you, right?” Konan asked.“Yeah. Come inside though, or you’ll get cold,” Deidara said, taking her by the hand and leading her in, glancing at the middle-aged men outside the pub on their way through the door, who were looking them up and down, kind of bemused.Konan lurked by the host stand, poking through a sad wicker basket of mints and trying to look inconspicuous in the low lighting as Deidara strode past, pretty confident in the heels aside from a brief wobble, and sat down at the bar. Konan watched as he seemed to order a drink from the bartender, and pointed at the table where the rest of the boys seemed to be playing King’s Cup.A few minutes later, a server brought the drink over to Sasori, and pointed at Deidara, who was clearly trying to look nonchalant, his long curled hair hiding his face as he squeezed a lime into his own drink. Konan watched, grinning, as Sasori took a sip of the drink and clearly looked Deidara up and down, frowning. She saw Kisame and Pain covering their mouths, obviously trying not to laugh. Sasori squinted hard at Deidara, who had taken out his phone, and looked to be texting. A few seconds later, Konan’s phone vibrated.
What the hell’s taking him so long? This is awkward.
Konan replied, He’s like staring at u She laughed as Deidara clearly got her message and tossed his hair in what she could tell was characteristic impatience, tilting his head back like he was rolling his eyes. Before she got a message back, she saw Sasori’s expression clear and a big grin spread over his face. He picked up his drink and headed over to the bar. He slid an arm around Deidara’s waist and leaned in. Konan smiled – he was probably having fun, pretending not to know it was him, flirting with the ‘stranger.’Konan headed over to her friends and sat in Sasori’s seat, finishing his other drink and joining in on King’s Cup.By the time Sasori and Deidara made it back to the table, looking really cute since Deidara in the heels was a full head taller than his boyfriend, they had made it around the circle about eight times, and Konan had caught up to the others on drinks, having been on the receiving end of three twos, plus she was chosen as a mate by Pain, Kakuzu, and Hidan, and went through two waterfalls. They played a very sloppy game of pool and several frankly dangerous rounds of darts, before winding down and heading out. They left in a loose group, Sasori and Deidara at the back, Deidara’s arm slung across Sasori’s shoulders, laughing together. Hidan was running ahead, doing clumsy jumps and karate kicks at Kakuzu and Itachi, who were fending him off. Konan was leaning into Pain, staggering a little, giggling as he told her about a funny episode of The Office she’d forgotten about. It took a moment for Konan to register the shouts from behind, for her to understand them.“Fucking faggots.”Konan turned around, but Pain was already going, striding back down the street towards Sasori and Deidara, who were passing a group of men outside the bar. Konan yelled for the others to come back, hearing more shouts from the strangers and turning back around, starting to run and follow Pain. Konan watched Deidara say something to one of the guys, who stepped forwards, looking like he was about to lunge forward, when Sasori bent down, smoothly grabbed a bottle from the ground, flipped it in his hand, and brought it smashing around on the side of the guy’s head before he got within a foot of Deidara, sending him reeling. Pain had reached them and ran straight into the guy, tackling him into the wall. Konan, running back down the road, was overtaken by Kakuzu, Kisame, and Hidan. The guys outside the pub, squaring up to Sasori as Pain was wrestling with the first one, clearly were thinking better of it, watching the other boys charging down the road towards them. Three of them slipped back inside, the fourth getting bodied against a railing by Hidan who leapt right for him, kicking him in the ribs.After a few minutes, the first guy was lying on the ground, still throwing insults, but groaning now, and not getting up. Pain stepped on his hand as he walked away, panting, heading for Sasori and Deidara and throwing his arms over their shoulders, walking them back up the road. Kakuzu shoved the other guy towards the pub and the rest of them turned around as well, heading home.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Back at the cottage, Konan poured everyone glasses of water to help sober up, and then sidled up to Deidara to see if he was okay, but other than complaining that his feet hurt as he yanked his way out of all the designer clothes, he seemed totally fine. Sasori was just grinning, watching him as he used a makeup wipe to clean off the eyeliner and lipgloss. She ruffled Deidara’s hair and kissed the top of his head anyway, even if he didn’t seem bothered, before heading to the bathroom to quickly shower and brush her teeth.As she shaved her legs, a little unsteady after the drinks, her mind wandered away from the homophobic assholes outside the pub, and back to Pain, pressing her up against the wall of the cottage earlier that afternoon, and that ‘TBC’ he had whispered over his shoulder on his way in.
To be continued.
Konan flushed, running her own hand down her bare stomach, closing her eyes and remembering the feel of his hand doing that, the heat of his skin contrasting with the bite of wind on her exposed stomach.She got out of the shower, towelling off excitedly, hoping Pain was still awake. She padded into the living room to see that he’d pulled out the bed and was lying down, on his phone. “Hey,” he said as she joined him, pulling off her sweatpants to slide into bed next to him. “You have a good shower?”“Yeah.” She scooted close to him, wrapping an arm gently around his waist and laying her head on his chest. “Did you end up finding those pictures?” she asked, hiding her smile.He seemed to freeze, and didn’t say anything for a minute.“Pictures?” he asked eventually.“The pictures of me?”“Which ones?” His voice sounded strange. She could feel how tense he was under her arm.“The nudes?” she said in a small voice, disconcerted by his reaction.He didn’t reply. She glanced up at him, frowning a little. His breathing was getting faster.“I thought you’d like them, maybe,” she said, starting to feel a little embarrassed and confused. She sat up, trying to see his face.He looked frozen in place, still holding his phone up even though the screen had gone dark. He wasn’t looking at her, just frowning, eyes wide in the middle distance.“You thought I’d like them?” His voice was so strange, distant, like he wasn’t conscious he was speaking.“Are you okay?” Konan asked softly, sitting up. “You’re really pale.” She looked him up and down, watching his chest rising and falling.Pain licked his lips and sat up, his movements jerky, uncomfortable. He dropped his phone, clenching and unclenching his hands. His eyes just flicked over to her and away, like he couldn’t meet her gaze. Konan was mystified – she lay a hand on his arm gently, and realized he was shaking slightly.“Pain, what’s wrong?”He didn’t answer. Konan scooted away from him, giving him space, sitting to face him, staring. There was a funny look in his eyes.“I’m sorry, I just… I borrowed your phone, and I thought–”“My phone?” Now he looked at her, still pale, but frowning.“Yeah, I used your camera. I’m sorry if that bothered you, I won’t do it again… You didn’t see them?”He was just staring at her, looking so confused. She reached forward and picked up his phone.“Can you open it for me? I won’t look,” she said, holding it so he could swipe his pattern. He did, taking a second to raise his hand, not meeting her gaze. She turned the phone back and opened up the gallery, showing him. “I took these earlier. I just kind of thought you’d like them,” she said, a little defensively. He just stared at them for a second, still breathing a little too fast. Then he suddenly went ‘Oh!’ on a big exhalation of air, colour flooding back to his face. Konan was staring at him – there were beads of sweat at his hairline and his eyes were wide. He looked abruptly away from the phone, like he couldn’t bear to see the photos, head bent down over his hands, clenching and unclenching. “I can delete them,” she said, taking the phone back.“Yeah. Yeah, please,” he said, his voice so unlike him she just stared again.“Pain, are you okay?” she asked, now seriously worried. “Are you… are you having a panic attack, or something? Do you need water, or like, just to breathe, or…” She was starting to panic herself, unhelpfully. Pain had never acted like this, at all. He was never anxious, not prone to panicking, or spiralling, or freaking out over anything . It was so unexpected she couldn’t even think what she should do to help. She was just about to go get him water when he stood up suddenly, and stormed away down the hall. “Where are you going?” Konan asked, following him, watching in bewilderment as he grabbed his coat and stuffed his feet into his boots, wrenching the front door open. He was biting his lips and his jaw was tight. He just shook his head, not facing her. “Back in a bit,” he muttered, and slammed the door behind himself, leaving nothing but a cold blast of air and a dusting of snow on the carpet.—Sasori opened the door on the third small knock, his eyebrows raised. “What do you…” He trailed off when he realized Konan was crying. “What’s wrong?”Konan shook her head, her mouth pressed tightly closed. She didn’t know how to start, or what to say. Tears were burning in her eyes, pouring hot down her face. Sasori pulled her into a loose hug.“What’s up?” Deidara’s voice called from the bed. Sasori turned around, still holding Konan, so Deidara could see. “What happened?” Konan heard Deidara get up, and a second later, his arm was around her, too, stroking her back. She broke down, unable to hold it together, and cried hard into Sasori’s shoulder. She heard Deidara shut the door, then felt him kiss the top of her head, coming back to the three-way hug.“You guys are so nice,” Konan blubbed, and she felt them laugh. “You caught us on a good night,” Sasori joked. “What’s wrong, though?”“Pain’s gone,” she choked out. “He left. And I have no idea why . I don’t know where he went, he didn’t take his phone, he just left, and it’s dark outside, and he hasn’t come back–” “What?” Deidara asked in surprise. “He didn’t say where he was going?”“No,” Konan sniffed into Sasori’s shoulder. “I think he was having a panic attack or something, he was freaking out, he was breathing really fast, he wasn’t saying anything…”“ Pain had a panic attack?” Sasori asked, sounding totally taken aback. “He’s never had one before… are you sure? What were you talking about?”Konan just squeaked for a moment, trying to stop crying, not succeeding. “I… He was mad about some photos I took on his phone,” she said, rubbing her face. “I thought he’d like it, or whatever, but obviously he didn’t. But, I need to go look for him, he could, like, freeze or something, he’s hardly wearing anything warm, but he just ran off in the dark…” Her breathing was speeding up and catching as a fresh wave of panic washed over her, wondering how well Pain knew his way around, what would happen if he got lost in the dark…She felt Sasori and Deidara exchange looks. “Konan, you stay here,” Sasori said firmly. “I’ll go find him. Stay here with Deidara, okay?”He lifted her arms away from his neck and spun her around gently into Deidara, who put his arms around her, patting her back. “Bring your phone,” Deidara said warningly to Sasori, who presumably nodded as he opened and shut the door, leaving them together. “So what were the photos?” Deidara asked once Sasori had left. Konan sighed, her face itchy from crying. “I took some nudes on his phone, to surprise him. And he just freaked out completely, he didn’t even…”A surprised laugh burst out of Deidara. “Wait, what? Your nudes were so hot they gave the man a panic attack?”  Konan couldn’t even laugh, she just cried harder. Deidara pulled her back onto his and Sasori’s bed, rubbing her back as she cried into his shirt, alternating between apologizing for being a pain in the ass and bothering them, and asking him why Pain had gotten angry, what she could have done wrong.—Pain heard the crunching of snow behind him before he heard Sasori’s yell.“Hey fuckface!” He stopped, but didn’t turn around. His breathing slowed down, each breath of frigid air searing in his throat and lungs. He heard Sasori panting as he ran to close the gap.“Go away,” Pain said, closing his eyes. 
If he asks if I’m okay, I’m gonna kick his ass.
“What the hell’s wrong with you?”
…I’ll take that.
“Nothing.”“Yeah right,” Sasori panted, coming closer. “Why is it always me running after people?” he muttered, crunching through the snow until he was on a level with Pain. “Cause you love interfering where you're not wanted?” Pain snapped back mockingly, unable to help himself.He wished Sasori hadn’t come. The last thing he wanted right now was someone interrogating him or taking the piss out of him when he was already angry with himself and shaken, and knowing Sasori, he figured he was about to experience both in quick succession.But Sasori did a bit of a double-take, his expression shifting quickly from offended to concerned, eyebrows lowering in a suspicious frown.“Konan said you had a panic attack or something.”Pain tilted his head back, closing his eyes, jaw clenching. “No.”Sasori snorted. “What are you calling it, then?”“Nothing. I got really stressed, and like, anxious. I was just freaking out…” He shrugged. “It was hot in there. I couldn’t breathe right.”Sasori raised his eyebrows. “O-kayy… and that’s not a panic attack? What do you think it was, heartburn or something?”“Dude, shut the fuck up, why are you even —”“I’m worried about you,” Sasori interrupted. “This hasn’t happened to you before, so something must be wrong.”“I’m fine ,” Pain snapped, then sighed. Again, he couldn’t control his temper. Konan’s face, confused and hurt, was burning in his mind. 
I’m such a piece of shit…
Sasori just raised an eyebrow. “No need to be such a dickhead. I thought you might want to talk.”“I don’t.”“Would you rather talk to me about it right now, or Konan?”Pain didn’t reply.“Uh-huh. So, you’re talking to me,” Sasori said, folding his arms. “Konan said she took some photos on your phone? Why the hell did that make you run out here like the fucking house was on fire!?”“I don’t want to talk about it, and don’t fucking yell at me,” Pain snapped, starting to breathe fast and shallow again, pressing his numb hands to his face.“Okay,” Sasori said calmly. “I won’t yell. But Pain, I’m your best friend. And I’m worried about you. Tell me what’s going on.”Pain didn’t reply.Sasori clicked his tongue impatiently. “What, is your plan to just wander around in the snow for another few hours, find your way home, and in the morning you think nobody’s ever gonna ask you what happened? Nobody's gonna be pissed off with you? Everything will be totally normal!?”He stared at Pain, looking for a reaction. When he gave him none, Sasori sighed, folding his arms. “Come on.” His voice was low and concerned. Pain had known him long enough to know that he was genuinely unnerved by his behaviour.   He sighed again, trying to get ahold of himself. “Fine. Can we walk, though? I can’t just fucking stand still right now,” Pain said, flapping his open coat, feeling like he was overheating again. “Sure,” Sasori said with a shrug, and fell into step with him, striding across the snowy fields under the full moon. “You want me to ask yet again , or are you just going to fucking tell me now?”Pain rolled his eyes and elbowed Sasori sharply, making him stagger in the snow with a laugh.“Konan asked me if I’d seen the pictures of her.”“The ones she took?”Pain dragged a hand roughly through his hair. “Well, obviously, that’s what she meant , but… Okay, I didn’t tell you this — and you can’t tell anyone , okay?”“Hey, it’s in the vault,” Sasori said with an ironic grin.“You’re vaulting it?” Pain responded with a half-laugh on an exhale.“I’m vaulting it.”“Fine. Itachi knows about this, because he’s the one who found it…”He explained about the man from the train stealing Konan’s phone, about the forum on the dark web, about the photos and the deepfake porn. When he finished, Sasori looked staggered. It took him a minute to be able to speak.“Who… why… Why, though?” he stuttered, staring at Pain, who just shook his head vehemently.“I have no fucking idea, which is almost as bad, somehow.”Sasori pinched the bridge of his nose. “Okay. But it’s deleted now?”“Itachi said stuff might have been cross-posted to other forums or sites or whatever. But that one was taken down, yeah.”“Which I guess leaves us with the other question, of who took it down . Like who knows about it?”“Could be her dad’s people.”Sasori snorted. “Like that situation isn’t also fucked up…” He shook his head, rubbing his forehead. “Okay, so obviously, when Konan asked if you’d seen the naked pictures, you thought she meant those, right?”Pain bit the inside of his cheek and nodded. “Man… Honestly, I haven’t been sleeping since I saw them. It’s the most… I can’t even, like…” He shook his head again, shoving his hands in his pockets and walking faster, making Sasori jog a few steps to catch up. ‘Degrading,’ or ‘disgusting,’ ‘horrifying,’ ‘repulsive,’ didn’t cover it.“And so you freaked out?”“I mean yeah! ” Pain burst out. “I was just like, totally uncomprehending, like, wait you know about those!? How can you, what are you talking about… But she was just staring at me, so confused, and then when she explained and showed me the pictures that she took…”He pressed his hands to his face again, taking a deep breath, his stomach aching from guilt. “And I just feel like such a fucking asshole, like she was just being cute, having fun, taking sexy pictures for me… But when she said ‘pictures,’ all I saw was those fucking fake porn photos, they were just like burning in my mind, and I couldn’t look at the ones she took, it made me feel sick because I didn’t want to see them when I was thinking about the ones those fucking shitstains made, it made me feel fucking disgusting.”He groaned, digging his nails into his cheeks, pulling icy air in with each breath, trying desperately to stay grounded and not go back to that disconnected place he’d been before. “I asked her to delete them, because I’m just so fucking paranoid now, after the pictures of her at the airport were on that fucking forum, and that guy took her phone, and everyone knows where she is, and for some reason they know who she is, and it’s just like… what if someone hacks my phone, somehow!?” His breathing was getting shallower and shallower. It felt like the air around him was getting heavy, pressing in on him, compressing his chest. He pulled his coat off, not feeling the cold. “And then, I’m just like — who are these people!? She’s my girlfriend, and I’m freaking out over her taking a nude on my phone because of them, and it feels like I can’t do anything about it, and I fucking hate that so much…”He felt Sasori’s hand on his back, just pressing gently. He didn’t throw him off, trying to slow his breathing again. “There were the most disgusting comments, you wouldn’t believe… And when that guy cracked her phone and uploaded selfies she took, that were just for her, that she had no reason to think would ever be seen by anyone, let alone a bunch of strangers who have been counting the days til she’s fucking legal… I just want to kill them. I want to fucking beat the shit out of them. But I can’t. And I don’t know what I can do about fucking any of it.”Sasori didn’t say anything until Pain’s breathing slowed back to normal.“Would it be possible to report it to the police? It’s technically child pornography, right?”“It definitely is,” Pain said through gritted teeth, his mind flashing, unwillingly, to some edited photos where Konan looked thirteen at most. He swallowed hard, feeling physically sick.“Okay. So maybe we can do something about that. But what about tonight?”Pain rubbed his face. “What do you mean?”“I mean how I came out in the cold to find you at 1am because your girlfriend is really upset?” Sasori said with a touch of impatience. “You gonna come back and explain already?”Konan’s confused, hurt face blazed in Pain’s mind again, and he heard her voice calling for him to come back. His chest ached, but he shook his head.“How could I come back!? How can I explain — I can’t explain why I got freaked out, I just can’t!” he burst out. “How am I supposed to tell her about all that shit, how could I..? I can’t do that to her…”Sasori grabbed his shoulder, making him stop and face him.“You don’t think that you doing this — storming off all of a sudden, not explaining why, not coming back, not telling her what she did wrong—”“She did nothing wrong!!” Pain burst out.“And how is she supposed to know that!?” Sasori demanded angrily.Pain blinked at him, taken aback. Sasori sighed.“You don’t think this actually might be worse than telling her the truth?” “No, I absolutely don’t,” Pain said firmly, turning to keep walking, but Sasori held him back, glaring at him.“She’s crying her fucking eyes out right now,” he said angrily, pointing back in the direction of the cottage. “She came to our room sobbing because you’d left and she doesn't know why. Because you wouldn’t talk to her. Because she thinks she did something to make you angry and she has no idea what it was. You don’t care about that?”It felt like Sasori had punched him in the gut. Pain looked away, winded.“You think she’ll forgive you for this with no explanation at all!?”Pain’s eyes burned at the corners as he imagined Konan crying alone. He wondered how long it had taken her to make herself get up and knock on Sasori and Deidara’s door.“Is it seriously worth losing her over this?” Sasori asked, staring up at Pain in disbelief.“What can I say to her, man?” he asked Sasori quietly, his voice breaking. “What am I supposed to do? If it was Deidara, could you tell him there are people in the world making fucking child porn of him and shit?”Sasori’s face tensed briefly, and he turned his head with a sigh, stuffing his hands in his pockets before looking back at Pain.“Yeah, I would tell him,” he said simply. “Look, Konan can hate her dad, she can hate random people on the internet, she can hate that this is happening for some reason… Why are you willing to make her hate you? ” ---When Pain and Sasori returned to the cottage, everything was how they had left it – lights off, still, silent. Pain didn’t say anything as he pulled his boots and jacket off, but he glanced at Sasori, getting an easy nod back, before he pushed the door open to his and Deidara’s bedroom.As expected, Konan was still there, lying asleep next to Deidara, her face still puffy from crying. She couldn’t have been asleep for that long.Pain bent down and cupped her face gently as Sasori pulled off his sweater in the background, getting ready to go back to bed.“Hey,” he whispered, rubbing his thumb over her cheek until she woke up.Her eyelashes fluttered. She opened her eyes slowly, blinking in the dark. “Hey,” he said again, keeping his voice soft to avoid waking Deidara, too. “It’s me.”She reached out an arm clumsily, touching him. “You’re back,” she mumbled.Pain stroked her forehead as it creased up anxiously again, hushing her gently.“Yeah. I’m sorry. I need to talk to you about something, okay?”She nodded sleepily and he helped her out of bed. Sasori shot her a little smile as they passed him, Pain holding Konan’s hand as she followed behind him.He led her to the kitchen, pausing in the living room to grab his other hoodie for her. He turned on one set of the lights and passed her the hoodie. She pulled it on and sat at the table while he poured them both a glass of water. He sat down opposite her and passed her her glass.“You awake?” he asked gently, watching as she rubbed her knuckles into her eyes.“Mhmm,” she replied, taking a sip of water. “Okay.” He laced his fingers together, elbows on the table, looking at his hands for a few seconds before meeting her gaze. “First of all, I want to apologize for how I acted earlier, and I’m really, really sorry for walking out on you and not explaining what was going on.”Konan shook her head. “Don’t worry about it,” she said, her voice soft and tired, “it’s okay.”Pain gave her a small smile. “No, it’s not, Konan. It wasn’t fair to you, and I’m really sorry.”She tucked her hands into the sleeves of the sweater and bit her lips, looking at him. “Thanks. Are you going to tell me what was wrong?”He nodded. “Yeah. Yes.” He took a deep breath. “I’ve been kind of keeping something from you for a couple days.” He caught Konan’s slightly raised eyebrows and redirected his gaze to his hands, feeling the prickle of anxiety creeping up the back of his neck. “I did it because I didn’t want you to know about it. I thought it would — like for any person, it’s a lot , and I knew it would really upset you, and you were already really stressed and upset the night you got here—”He hated the self-justifying note in his voice, even though he still believed he had been right to do it, and he was relieved all the same when Konan interrupted him.“Pain, can you just tell me?” she asked, propping her cheek on her hand, “Because somehow the preface is stressing me out a lot more than whatever it is will.”Pain gave her a hollow half-smile, shaking his head, unable to help it.
I wish.
He took a sip of water and another deep breath, laying his hands flat on the table.“Okay then. The night you came here on the train, you told me about John, the guy who stole your phone. Something about the story raised a few flags for me, and I had already been worried about some things, so I asked Itachi to look into it, because he’s good at that, and he found some stuff on… basically, on the dark web.”Konan’s face was oddly still, although she was still worrying her bottom lip between her teeth.“Itachi found some… stuff. He found a forum, basically. It had photos of you. Some of the ones we saw, of you at the airport, but it had a lot of others. Pictures from when you were a kid. Doing gynnastics. At some kind of event. Riding a horse.” Pain swallowed, his gaze back on his hands. “Some of them were… edited. There were these fucked-up comments…” He forced himself to shrug, even as he felt the manic, paranoid buzzing he had been feeling for the past few days was building tension in his shoulders, a sick, metallic anxiety in his stomach.“As it turns out, the guy from the train, John, is active on there. He posted about you, with a photo of you from the train.” Konan’s gaze was blank as she shook her head mutely, chewing at her thumbnail.“He was like, ‘Could this be her?’ and others said yes… He took your phone. He was able to unlock it, and he posted pictures from it to the forum.”Pain’s voice was starting to wear out as he talked and talked, but he kept going, one hand pressed to his forehead, eyes closed.“One of the photos let the people on the forum figure out where you go to school.”“What?” Konan asked in such a small voice it made Pain want to hold her. He swallowed the impulse, knowing he couldn’t stop or he wouldn’t be able to bring himself to continue.“But then the forum was closed, John’s profile was deleted, and everything on the page was scraped off, totally gone.” Pain shrugged. “Itachi said there might be crosspostings on other forums, other sites. But that one is gone.”“Okay…”“I have no idea why any of that was on there, or whatever. We can talk about it more later, if you want to. I don’t have any clue who took it down, if it was some kind of moderator, or maybe people working for your dad’s company, I have no idea.” Pain shook his head, raking his fingers through his hair.“So… yeah. That’s that. And that’s why I freaked out when you asked me if I’d seen the pictures of you, because some of the edited pictures of you on the forum…” He couldn’t look at her. “They were deepfakes.”He heard her tiny intake of breath and his eyes flicked up unwillingly. Her eyes were shut tight and her face was mostly hidden by the sleeves of the hoodie, pulled over her hands which were pressed to her cheeks.He sighed and continued, tipping his head back and folding his arms across his chest. “So anyway, I was confused. I haven’t been sleeping great, and I’ve been really worried about the forum and shit, so somehow I thought that’s what you were talking about. Then when you showed me the photos you took…” He shook his head and looked at her. “I’m really sorry for the way I reacted. I love that you did that, that you wanted to take those to surprise me. I’m sorry I asked you to delete them. I’ve just been getting so paranoid, but it really freaked me out that some random person on a train recognized you from that forum, and they took your phone and stole your photos… I was just thinking like, are these photos even safe on my phone, and I was just fully freaking out and spiralling…”He shifted uncomfortably, meeting her gaze over the sleeves of her sweater. There were tears sparkling in her eyes, ready to spill. He swallowed.“I’ve never felt like that before in my life. I felt really scared, honestly. But I shouldn’t have stormed out on you. And I probably should have told you all this as soon as I found out. But when you arrived, you were so exhausted, and already really upset, and…” He glanced at Konan, at the tears that were pouring silently from her eyes. “I didn’t want to do this to you.” He shook his head again, vehemently. “I didn’t want you to have to know this. I wish I didn’t know, that I hadn’t found out. I still think I was right not to tell you, honestly. I’m sorry if you don’t, and that’s totally valid, since it’s information about you, but…” He sighed, and rubbed his face. “Yeah. So, that’s everything.”Konan had been sitting completely still for the last few minutes. She was looking at him, but her gaze was slightly unfocused. Tears slipped from her unblinking eyes, sliding into the sleeves of her hoodie, still hiding the hands pressed to her face.They looked at each other in silence across the table.—“That’s everything? Everything you know?” Konan asked eventually, once she had found her voice.“That’s it.”“Okay,” she said vaguely, nodding.Thoughts – hundreds of thoughts, and questions, and horrifying ideas — were screeching across her mind in a roiling tangle, flaring up, leaping to the surface only to be replaced by the screaming maw of another, so quickly she could barely hold onto one.
Where did they get the pictures of me!?

Which photos were they!?

How were they edited!?

What kind of deepfakes!?

Who is doing this!?

Who has seen it!,

Why are they doing it!?

Who took it down!? Why!? Why now!?
She felt sick. She reached for her water glass and drank deeply, fighting down the bile that had risen in the back of her throat.The rational part of her brain recognized dimly, but with undeniable truthfulness, that Pain didn’t know the answers to those questions, so there was no point in asking him. She had a feeling she knew someone who might have more information, but her questions would have to wait.She pressed the tip of her tongue hard into the point of her canine, trying to focus on the physical sensation, to stay grounded and present, instead of getting washed away in the neverending crashing waves of panic and terror and fury.
Push it down. I’ll deal with it tomorrow. 
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
First things first.
She looked up at Pain. He was looking down at the table, his head propped on his hands.She forced herself to ask the questions.“So, you saw some fake nudes of me on that forum, is that right?”Pain nodded slowly.“And so you couldn’t… you felt you couldn’t look at the real ones I took, right?”She tried to keep her voice neutral, but wasn’t able to keep a small note of hurt out of it. She cleared her throat to try and cover, but she knew Pain had picked up on it.He tilted his head back to look at the ceiling, his nails digging into his folded arms. “Mhmm. Because, at the time, I was already kind of… spiralling, I guess.” He looked disgusted with himself.She nodded, biting her lip. She pressed her fingernails into her thumbs in turn, trying to drum up the courage for the next question.“Are you…” She swallowed. “It’s okay if you can’t say this for sure, or if you don’t know right now, but… Are you going to be able to… Can you look at me, though? I’m sure the bodies they put on my face are better, or whatever–”Pain scoffed,  but she ignored him. She was looking down at the table, gaze unfocused, tears building in her eyes again as they started to dry out, as she struggled to finish the question.“—but… but… Are you still okay with just me? … Can you still be with me?”Pain reached for her. Hesitatingly, she put her hand in his and looked at him. He was staring at her, a crumpled, almost heartbreaking expression on his face.“Of course I can, of course I’m okay with you, what are you even trying to say?”She bit her lips. “Are you just saying that because you want it to be true, though? Can you look at me without thinking about those pictures?”Pain just gaped at her in silence. She sighed and looked away, biting her nail. When she looked back over, Pain’s mouth was shut tight and he was staring down at his hands, clenching and unclenching them, his jaw tense. She recognized the unfocused look in his eyes this time.She stood up, pushing her chair back. At once, Pain was getting up, too.“Wait, wait…” he said, reaching for her. With a start, Konan realized he looked scared. She smiled at him, forcing herself to stay calm this time. She took his hand.“Come with me,” she said, her voice soft.He followed her down the hall, a perfect mirror of when he had led her to the kitchen half an hour ago. She pulled him gently into the bathroom, turning the light on and shutting the door behind them. She turned the shower on.She knew it could be a bad idea, but it was kind of a last resort.He was watching her warily as she turned to face him. She pulled off the hoodie and tossed it on the floor. “You were out in the cold,” she said quietly, reaching for the hem of his sweater. “You need to warm up.”He let her pull it off. Their eyes met again as she tossed it aside. She held his gaze and pulled off his Bikini Kill t-shirt she was wearing. She noticed him tense up a fraction as she stood topless before him. He kept his eyes firmly on hers. She pulled his shirt off, too. She took a breath, and slid her panties down, kicking them aside.The bathroom began to warm up, steam starting to fog the mirror as the shower water turned hot.She faced him, completely naked.“You need to take that stuff off, if you’re going to have a shower,” she said, pointing at his jeans.He shook his head, grinning as he slid off his belt, unzipped his jeans and pulled them off.   “And those,” Konan said, nodding at his black boxers.Pain glanced at her with a half-smile. “Okay. Please keep in mind I was out in the cold for a long time…”“It takes that long to get back to normal?” Konan asked in surprise, giggling.Pain snorted. “No, I’m just messing with you.”“I won’t look if you don’t want me to,” she said.He smirked. “I’ll hold you to that, then.”“Okay, okay,” she rolled her eyes, smiling, happy they were able to talk normally again, at least for a moment.He held her gaze as he slid off his boxers and socks, kicking them into the pile of clothes. She kept her eyes firmly on his, biting down on a grin, until a flash of reflected light caught her eye and made her glance down.Her lips parted in hazy surprise as she saw that he had two silver piercings right above the shaft of his penis, and another barbell running through the head.“Is that… a Prince Albert!?” she asked in amazement, semi-aware that she was biting her lip, despite the situation. He had a nice dick.“Apadravya,” Pain corrected her, “But what the hell happened to not looking!?” he asked, laughing and covering himself.“I’m sorry!” she said, giggling and returning her gaze to his face.He snorted, rolled his eyes with a smile, and walked past her into the shower, pulling her with him.He stood under the spray for a minute before swapping with Konan, careful not to brush against her, his gaze never leaving her face.She sighed. “I appreciate you’re being respectful, but this is really important, so please look at me .”He smiled a little at that. His gaze lowered slowly off her face, down her neck, past her collarbones. He sighed under the stream of water. Konan caught something hitch in his eyes, and he closed them.“Talk to me,” she murmured, reaching for his hands. He tipped his head down, resting his forehead gently on hers. “I just remembered a comment on the forum, that’s all.” His voice was so quiet.“Can you tell me?” She traced circles on the backs of his hands with her thumbs.“It mentioned me, because John saw me. It said something like, ‘Enjoy it while you can.’”Konan rolled her eyes to the ceiling and took a breath, filing that away. “Enjoy it, then,” she said softly. She took his hands and placed them on her waist. His eyes stayed closed, but she saw his shoulders lower as he relaxed a little.“Talk to me,” she repeated, leaning her head against his shoulder.“I worry you have a different concern about the fake pictures of you than I do.”“Yeah?”“Yeah.” He pulled away, looking at her, half-suspiciously, his hands still gently holding her waist. “Are you worried I’d be comparing you to the fake pictures?”Konan bit the inside of her cheek, flushing with shame to hear him say it out loud. “Um… Yeah, I guess.”Pain snorted, shaking his head, then gave her a serious look. “Konan, that’s not even a fucking possibility , okay?” She was opening her mouth to protest when he held up a hand, continuing. “ My concern is that those images made me feel fucking angry, and sick. And I don’t ever want to think about them again, but…” He shook his head, nails digging briefly into her skin before his hands smoothed out again. “I’m worried about it, and worried about you, so I think about it. But I want to stay with you. I want to focus on you.” Konan nodded to show she’d understood him, a knot of tension releasing.“So focus on me,” she said, moving his hands to her chest. He half-laughed in surprise, shaking his head, his thumbs on her nipples. She reached up and brought his face down to hers. She met his gaze carefully, hoping he could see in her eyes how much she trusted him. “Look at me,” she whispered. “Stay with me.”His eyelashes were wet, framing his violet eyes with dark starbursts. Konan stroked his cheeks with her thumbs. He closed his eyes for a second, shivering.“If you get pulled away, and you get lost,” she murmured, shifting a hand to cup the back of her head, “I’ll be your lighthouse, okay? Just come back to me.”She kissed him softly. As she guided his hand down, he kissed her back, just as soft. She tilted her head and opened her mouth for him, He kissed her harder, one hand sliding down her body to squeeze her ass, his other hand in her hair. She sucked on his lower lip, running her hands down his chest, around his waist, stroking his back. He sighed into her, and she felt his muscles loosening, the tension melting away. He pushed her back against the wall of the shower, pressing against her, kissing her fiercely.“Is it working for you?” she panted, pulling away.He gave her a funny look, his eyes dark. “Uhh, yeah, it’s working for me…”She snorted with laughter. She knew they were both very aware of his semi-hard dick pressing against her stomach. “Do you want me to stay?” she asked, pressing against him, pushing him back under the spray of the shower, grinning when he gasped, feeling his cock twitch against her  “Or do you want, um…” She really wasn’t sure how to ask what she meant without it being awkward, but from his grimace she knew he got her meaning. He covered his face with a hand, embarrassed. “Oh my god… um, if it’s okay, maybe I’ll just have a longer shower… by myself?”“Yeah, okay!” she said, laughing and backing away. “Enjoy!”“I just…” He looked so embarrassed, Konan felt really bad. She made sure she was only looking at his face, eyes never travelling down, as hard as that was. “If you were gonna stay, I just — I wouldn’t want that to happen right after I was a total asshole to you. Like, I wouldn’t want to have those memories side by side.”Konan smirked at him. “So… you’re not Deidara, is what you’re saying? You’re not turned on by conflict and dysfunction?”Pain burst out laughing. He looked completely free of worry for the first time in days. Konan beamed, so happy to see it. “Yeah, thank god… who needs that aggravation?” he said teasingly.Konan smirked. She was determinedly not looking down, but it was very difficult. Out of focus or not, she could still see the light catching on his piercings. Her mind was running away with her, imagining the weight of his cock, what it might feel like in her mouth. She bit her lips, thinking of the feel of it pressed against her stomach, and leaned back against the shower wall with a sigh.“Well, I’ll go, but… Just saying… It’s a pretty long winter break…” she said, raising her eyebrows at him and grinning. “Enjoy your solo shower, but… I’m just saying, I’m interested in joining you whenever you feel like it. Just saying.”“ Just saying, huh?” Pain shook his head, laughing. “Get outta here… trying to seduce me…”Konan laughed too, and turned to step out of the shower, pushing aside the curtain. Pain pulled her back, cupping her face and kissing her deeply. Konan closed her eyes, sliding her tongue into Pain’s mouth as his free hand shoved her back against the shower wall, pinning her hands up like he’d done outside the house, and she moaned into him, arching forward, wanting to touch him, wanting him to lean forward, press his cock against her, wanted him to just give in and let the memories of today be chaotic and messy…Too quick, he let her go and backed away, breathing hard, his eyes dark, but grinning at the expression in Konan’s face as she realized that that was all she was getting.“What a fucking tease!” she exclaimed, only half-joking. “Who’s seducing who now!?”He laughed as she stepped out of the shower and towelled off, heading out to change for bed and let him finish, wondering how many ‘TBC’s she could take before she burst into flames.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The next day, Konan planned to take a solo excursion into town after breakfast, hoping to get an early start to the day. Breakfast, however, took longer than usual— Deidara, as predicted by Sasori, had managed to utterly scorch everything he touched. Konan was woken by the smoke alarm, and when she padded down the hall to investigate, she found Deidara laughing in a kitchen full of smoke, and Sasori rolling his eyes, turning on the fan and opening the windows. Deidara’s scrambled eggs looked more like bits of igneous rock on the surface of the pan than actual food, so they all had cereal for breakfast, and teased Deidara by  complimenting him on how good the Frosted Flakes were.Afterwards, Konan headed out. She walked down into town and found a small convenience store which, as conveniently as the name implied, sold burner phones. She knew paying on her card would put it in the negative, but she didn’t care. It would be taken care of soon. She bought the phone, opened the packaging, and set it up. She found a park bench in a quiet part of a public park and called her father’s main office line. She had to call four times before Holly picked up, probably as it was an unregistered number.“MIRAI,” she said suspiciously, not giving her usual spiel.“Holly, it’s me,” Konan said in a falsely sweet voice.“What the hell’s this weird number?”“A burner phone. I have three things to say.”“Konan, what on earth—”“Firstly, I used my card to purchase this burner phone from a convenience store in Cardiff ““What are you–”“I need you to erase that from my bank statement.”“Why would I do that?” Holly burst out, clearly fuming about being cut off. Konan talked over her, her voice light and clear as an early spring creek.“When I took the train here, my phone was stolen by a man. That man was a member of some kind of dark web community forum. On this forum–”“Konan–”She again continued as though Holly hadn’t spoken at all. “— were dozens and dozens of photos of me. There were private photos, photos from events. Deepfakes made to look like pornographic pictures of me. The users on the forum seem to know who I am. The man on the train stole my phone, unlocked it, and posted pictures I took to the site. Shortly afterwards, the forum and the man’s profile were taken down, completely wiped. There is no way in hell my father didn’t know about this, which means there is no way in hell that you didn’t know about this. Now transfer me to my dad right fucking now,” she hissed, digging her fingernails into her palm.There was silence on the other end of the line. Then Holly sighed.“Konan, you’re not going to want that.”“I don’t care what you think I want,” Konan snapped angrily.“Hmm. You should. Listen to me, Konan, please.” Holly’s voice was low, like she was trying not to be overheard. She sounded more serious, and somehow more human than usual.“If your father learns that you know about that, about the forum or whatever you found, the fact is, he will remove you from school. Immediately. You will be returned here, and you will likely be kept in the building. Your father wants to protect you from the people out there who would do such things, but more than that,” Holly said urgently as Konan scoffed derisively, “Your father doesn’t want you to be unsafe, and he is aware that some people in the world may try and find you, so he has people monitoring sites like that to protect your safety.”“Not monitoring them well enough to take them down before somebody takes my phone and finds out where I go to school, though, huh?” Konan snapped, her mind reeling.Holly just sighed. “Konan, I can only tell you what I know. The fact is, if you like where you are going to school, if you enjoy not being tutored privately in the suite of rooms in your father’s building, keep quiet about it.”“It’s child porn, isn’t it!? A load of it was from when I was a fucking kid! Can’t he report it to the police!?”“It is being handled. There is an ongoing investigation, and the perpetrators will be arrested and brought to justice,” Holly said smoothly.“Is that true?”“Konan, this isn’t the kind of thing you should worry yourself about. We can replace your phone. Put this out of your mind, it is being handled.”“I don’t want a new phone. I’m sticking with this, it’s all I need. I don’t suppose you’re going to tell me why the fuck people on the internet know who I am and would even want any of those fucking photos of me!?”“I can’t answer that. However, I strongly, strongly advise you not to bring it up to your father.” Konan made a frustrated noise. “Why are you so fucking useless!?”“Konan, I’m going to hang up.”“Fine. Tell him I’m not doing any of those fucking reports.”“Which ones?”“All of them.”“Konan, ignore the report about your schoolwork or projects, fine. But you have to keep weighing yourself. You have to keep tracking your period. You have to keep measuring yourself. We need that data for your health. It is passed along directly to the medical team, and your father will notice and he will be extremely upset if you do not do it,” Holly said sternly. “He will pull you from school if you refuse. You know perfectly well he only let you go because you promised you’d do them yourself!” “I have a question, Holly,” Konan said, chewing the inside of her cheek, beyond irritated, “If my father was the one who chose this school, why is he supposedly so likely to remove me from it for every little thing!? Doesn’t he want me going here?” There was a long silence. “Konan,” Holly eventually said, in an even lower voice than before, “I’ll call you back in one hour. Keep your phone on.”She hung up.Konan pushed her lips out in irritation, shoving the burner phone into her pocket. She got up angrily from the bench and strode around the park to warm up again, thinking. So, dad knows about the forum… forums, possibly. He has people monitoring them… Does he know why people are making them…? I’m not some famous child star or something, why would anyone, even gross pervs on the internet, bother collecting photos of me? Does dad know why they’re doing it? Why monitor it if the police are investigating it anyway?  She kicked her boots in the snow, frowning. Holly obviously knew about the whole thing… How long had all this been going on for?
…Does mom know?
The second the thought was formed, she dismissed it, shaking her head automatically.  Impossible. And if she didn’t know, Konan certainly wasn’t going to tell her and risk upsetting her in her fragile state.She walked around and around the field at the centre of the park, chewing her thumbnail anxiously, until finally Holly called back.“Konan,” she said as soon as Konan picked up, “Against my better judgement, I am going to be honest with you.”“Oh, how generous of you.”“It’s not generosity, it’s stupidity,” Holly snapped, then sighed. “Konan, part of my job is to be your handler–”
“Handler?”
“—but lately you have become increasingly difficult to handle . I mean, the tattoos and piercings and concerts were annoying, certainly, but at least you weren’t asking so many questions…” “Did you just call me specially to insult me?” Konan asked.She heard Holly click her tongue impatiently. “Konan, listen. Your father does not know you are going to an art school. Your mother made the request directly to me to put you in a school you would enjoy this year. I will get into serious shit and possibly fired if your father learns where you really go. Got it?”Konan frowned, unseeing, at several small birds hopping in the snow beneath a yew tree. “Why did she do that?”Holly let out a long sigh. “Motherly affection? She knows you hated your last tutor. Ask her yourself when she’s feeling better. Anyway, that’s the reason I need you to just behave and stop giving your father opportunities to find out you’re not at a finishing school!”“What exactly are you getting out of lying to my dad for so long?” Konan asked suspiciously. “I thought you were obsessed with your job.” Holly scoffed. “You spoiled little brat… Yes, I value my career. I have one of the highest paying staff positions in this whole company. I have fucking gold flakes and caviar in my night cream because of this job, okay?”“Ooh, I’m so jealous,” Konan snarked.Holly ignored her. “...And because your dad needs me, I have a lot of job security. However, your mother made me an offer I couldn’t refuse to fudge a few documents here and there. I don’t care where you go to school or what you get up to, but I do care whether you give your father any reason to look into things. Luckily, he has been having an incredibly busy year, and your education is not that high on his priority list right now. So let’s both be grateful and do what we can to keep it that way, capiche?”Konan rolled her eyes, wishing Holly could see. “Capiche,” she replied mockingly.“Good, now fuck off. Merry Christmas,” Holly snapped and hung up. —Konan walked back to the cottage in a stormy mood, her mind still thrumming with everything that had been kept secret for what she considered to be no good reason at all, everything that she knew was still being kept secret, and everything she was still being expected to go along with. She stamped up the hill through the snow, working up a sweat.As she approached the cottage, panting, she saw Hidan out front with Kakuzu, play-fighting. Hidan did a roundhouse kick, slipped and collapsed, laughing. Kakuzu kicked more snow over him, saying something that made Hidan yell ‘Fuck off!’ Konan waved as she walked up to them.“Konan! Get this fucking guy, defend me!” Hidan yelled from the snow. Kakuzu faced her, putting his dukes up jokingly. Konan pulled off her coat and tossed it into the snow. “Can I actually try?” she asked Kakuzu.He smirked. “Bring it on, twiglet.”Konan laughed and ran at him, going for a shoulder check. She slammed into him, full-force, and promptly fell to the ground. Kakuzu hadn’t even taken a step backwards. It was like she’d tried to shoulder check a wall.“Jesus!” Konan cried from the ground, her shoulder aching. Hidan, who had gotten to his feet by now, pulled her up and dusted her off, laughing hysterically. “You were like a fucking fly hitting a windshield on the highway!” he cackled.“No comment,” Konan snorted, massaging her shoulder.“Wanna try again?” Kakuzu asked, cracking his neck casually.“Yeah,” Konan said, putting her fists up by her face.“Don’t do the stupid run-up this time,” Kakuzu advised her. “You’ll just fall harder.”“Gee, thanks,” she replied drily, bouncing on her toes. She threw a punch. Kakuzu dodged much quicker than she expected, his hands shooting forwards toward her. Before she knew what was happening, he was lifting her by the waist up into the air, like she was a toddler.“What!?” she exclaimed. “Well what if I do this?” She tried to knee him in the face. He threw her upwards gently, twisting so she span, and caught her a second later, lowering her, his arms looped under hers, hands locking behind her head. She was stuck, her hoodie and t-shirt ruckled up at her ribs. Hidan immediately started tickling her.“Come on!!” Konan burst out, laughing as she tried to kick him away, still suspended in the air. “This isn’t sparring, this is bullying!!”  “Alright, alright. Try a leg lock on Hidan, then,” Kakuzu said, raising her until she could get her legs around Hidan’s neck as he dutifully turned around for her. “Okay, when I drop you, use your body weight and twist to try bring him to the ground,” Kakuzu instructed. “Okay…” Konan said hesitatingly, not quite getting it, but she wasn’t given time for any questions. Kakuzu let go. She locked her legs around Hidan’s neck, trying to twist as her torso dropped downwards He didn’t go anywhere, staying totally still and upright.“Come the fuck on,” he said, exasperated and grinning. “Konan, this is all you've got?” Konan was laughing, swinging down his back, fingertips grazing the snow. Her shirt had slipped to her ribs. She tried to pull it back up with a hand as she twisted to bite jokingly at Hidan’s leg.“Oi, Suarez!” Kakuzu laughed.The crack and hiss of someone opening a can caught her attention. She looked around– it took a second to register upside-down, but the other boys had all come outside to watch. Pain was grinning at her, cracking open a beer with Deidara.“Hey, where’s mine!?” Hidan demanded, spinning around. Konan’s legs slipped from his neck and she fell on her head in the powdery snow as the others laughed.She kept play-fighting with Hidan and Kakuzu until she got tired, happy to have worked out her stress from the morning. Despite her best efforts, she was mostly used as a defensive object by the boys, holding her up and getting her to kick her legs or tossing her bodily at the other. Her most effective moment was leaping onto Kakuzu’s shoulders while he wrestled Hidan, and locking her legs tightly around his neck, hanging on to his head, as he basically ignored her, until she covered his eyes with her hands so Hidan could get him in a hold.“Okay, but do you want to actually learn to fight when we get back to school?” Kakuzu asked when they headed inside together, panting and sweaty.“Yeah!” Konan said, grinning up at him. “Can you guys teach me without breaking my arms by mistake or something?”Hidan laughed. “Give us some fucking credit. You’ll be fine, shrimpy.” He tousled her hair and strode past her, pulling off his hoodie and t-shirt, complaining that he stank, and headed into the bathroom to shower.Konan showered after him, and then joined the others for lunch, which was grilled cheese sandwiches courtesy of Kisame.After lunch, they played a game called ‘Friend or Faux,’ where everyone bet on the answers the person holding a prompt card would give to see how well they knew each other. The questions started out pretty innocent, guessing or proving they knew each others’ star signs, favourite ice cream flavour, whether they had ever dumped someone, and then got more and more racy, culminating in Itachi having to confess he liked silk underwear best, Deidara admitting he likes having his hair pulled, and Konan having to tell them, very pointedly avoiding Pain’s gaze, that she had been sixteen when she had first given oral, but had not ever blown a guy before. Partly because he got matching answers to almost every single one of Sasori and Deidara’s questions, to his own dismay, Pain won the game and got a second sandwich as a prize.After lunch, Konan headed out for another walk, bringing Pain with her this time. They wandered down to town together and headed into a café, Konan only realising partway through that this might count as an actual date .She started trying to smooth down her hair, checking her reflection in the window, but gave up when she caught Pain’s eye and saw he was grinning, watching her.“Am I not allowed to try look nice?” she asked, blushing.“You do look nice,” Pain said, taking a sip of his black coffee. “It’s just fun to watch you.”“Watch me do what? Fix my hair?” she asked in confusion, spooning the whipped cream off her mocha and licking it.He was smiling at her. She couldn’t help it – she felt herself going red under his gaze. “Yeah,” he said, taking a sip of his black coffee. “You’re really cute when you get embarrassed.”Konan pressed her lips together, giving him a look, and started fanning her hot cheeks, turning to face pointedly at the window as he laughed.He nudged her knee with his under the table and winked when she looked back.“ Stop it, ” she laughed, her face still hot. “I wanted to talk about something important!” “Okay, okay, sorry,” he said, assuming a very solemn expression, which actually made her laugh more.  Eventually, she got herself under control and Pain consented to stop teasing her for a few minutes, and she was able to tell him about the phone call she’d had with Holly. “Anyway,” she said after wrapping up, “the main thing I wanted to say, that I forgot to say yesterday, is just that…” She paused, biting her lips. She wasn’t actually nervous asking for this, it was just habit at this point. “Because my dad always keeps so much shit from me, and it drives me crazy, and I’m sick of it… If anything like this happens again, or even if it’s something small, can you just tell me next time?”Pain looked startled for a second, but immediately nodded. “Yeah. It totally makes sense why that would bother you. I didn’t really think about that.” He took her hand across the table and squeezed it gently, rubbing his thumb over the back. “Again, I’m really sorry about that whole thing.”Konan smiled at him. “No worries. Thank you, though.” “Sure. Can I ask for something kind of similar?” he asked with a small smile.Konan blinked at him. “Okay.”“So, you remember when you got back to school after your dad cancelled on you, and it was closed, and you called me?”“Yeah…?”“And I asked you if you were okay, if you wanted me to come down and get you, and you said you’d be fine?”Feeling like she knew where this was going, Konan took a sip of coffee, not meeting his eyes. “Yeah…?”“And I asked you to promise to call or text me if you needed anything, and you said you would?” His tone was half-playful, and she knew he’d noticed she was avoiding his gaze.“Um, yes…”“And you kind of didn’t do that, right? You didn’t have enough money for the train. You didn’t have money to get something to eat. But you didn’t call me. Why didn’t you tell me what was going on?” he asked. He was exasperated, but his voice was soft. He sounded a little hurt, actually.She straightened her expression, and sighed, looking in his eyes. He squeezed her hand again. She swallowed.“I guess… I didn’t feel like I could ask you for money. We’ve only just started dating, and I haven’t known you that long, and aside from anything else, a train ticket is kind of expensive… You offered to come get me, but that would have been three train tickets, and I couldn’t ask you to pay that, even if I paid you back. Plus, I thought I could just solve the problem and you wouldn’t have to worry. And, to be fair, I did solve the problem…” She trailed off, watching him shake his head in disbelief.“Right, you solved the problem…”“It’s not my fault the helpful person turned out to be a psycho creep!” she said defensively.Pain closed his eyes and sighed, rubbing his forehead. “Of course it’s not your fault, but… Please just ask me for help, next time.”“Well–”“Konan.”“I mean, what if–”“Konan.”“But, maybe–” She was grinning now, knowing she was just being silly.“Konan,” he repeated, grinning too. He slipped his hands under the small table and rested them on her knees. “You’re my girlfriend. I want to help you. It makes me happy to help you. It makes me happy to know that you would call me if you needed help.”She was blushing again. He waited until she met his gaze. The cool light from the windows cast a blueish tint over his violet eyes. He smiled.“You promise you’ll call me next time you need help?”“I promise.”“Okay. Thanks.”He slid his hands a few inches higher up her legs, his smile widening as Konan’s lips parted unconsciously. His hands were warm. She looked at him, almost defiantly, trying so hard not to focus on the weight of them on her thighs, on the memory of his hands sliding up them, under her velvet black mini dress, sitting on the bleachers the night of the winter dance. His hands on her bare skin, arms wrapped around her thighs, fingers digging in, looking at her, eyes dark and desperate, asking You good? before absolutely burying his face in her—She blinked, jerking herself out of the fantasy. Pain’s grin had a mischievous edge, his eyes sparkling in a way that told her he knew exactly what she had been thinking about. “So, what do you want to get up to after this?” he asked innocently, sliding his hands back off her thighs and taking a sip of his coffee. Her legs felt cold, feeling the absence of the heat of his hands.She gave him a defiant shrug, sipping her mocha, trying to keep her face impassive. “I don’t mind. Whatever you feel like.”“What happened to what you were ‘just saying’ last night?” Pain asked, quirking an eyebrow. “Last night?” she repeated.His gaze dropped to her lips and he smiled again. He licked his thumb and reached over to wipe chocolate syrup off the corner of her mouth. She watched him suck it off his thumb and bit her lip, shaking her head in disbelief.
This guy…
It took a second before what he’d said actually registered. Her own voice came back to her, echoing in the steaming bathroom. 
Enjoy your solo shower, but… I’m just saying, I’m interested in joining you whenever you feel like it. Just saying.
She blushed, swallowing. His grin widened, watching her. “I could be down… for whatever…” she mumbled. Pain scooted his chair forward a couple inches. His leg shifted under the table to press against the inside of her right thigh. He pressed his tongue to the inside of his cheek. “Cool. Same.”“Okay.”“Uh huh.” He was grinning again.“What do you think the others are up to?” Konan asked as casually as she could, tapping the outside of her empty coffee cup.“I’ll text Hidan and ask,” Pain said, just as casually. He got out his phone. Unfortunately for Konan, the text conversation lasted long enough for her to visualize, in ridiculous detail, Pain in the shower. Everything she had tried so, so hard not to pay attention to because they had been talking about something important. The water running in rivulets down his chest, between his pectorals, dripping from his silver nipple rings. His stomach, the curves of his abdominal muscles as he bent and twisted. The thin trail of hair leading down… His thighs, thick and surprisingly muscular. The curve of his ass. His violet eyes, gazing at her heavily under his wet lashes. His fucking cock that she said she wasn’t going to look at but definitely did , the silver balls shining either side of pierced head, the visible veins as it became more and more erect, the way it hung heavy at a slight curve…“They’re at the lake,” Pain said, slipping his phone back in his pocket. Konan cleared her throat, avoiding his gaze, trying to fight the urge to fan her hot face again. “Well, it’ll be nice to have the house to ourselves for a little bit,” she said before draining her cup and getting up.“It sure will,” Pain agreed with a sage nod and took both their cups to the recycling bin.They headed out of town again and started walking up the hill. Konan took Pain’s hand and they walked, holding hands, swinging them and laughing at each other, being silly.When they got a bit closer to the cottage, Konan tugged Pain down and kissed him, giggling when she felt him smile into the kiss, walking her backwards off the path until her back hit a tree. She put her arms over his shoulders, stroking the back of his head, tilting her head to deepen the kiss, sliding her tongue against his, gripping harder when he gasped, pressing his body harder against hers. A snowball hit them both in the side of the head. They broke apart, looking around. Hidan, twenty feet away. ducked behind a tree. Another snowball came flying at them from another direction. Pain dragged Konan down to duck as several other snowballs came flying from all directions.As it turned out, the boys had lain in wait to ambush them. They were playing teams snowball fight /capture the flag. Konab and Pain formed the last team, and were waylaid by a flurry of snow balls every time they were even looking like they were about to leave. They ended up getting so into the game they only made it into the house when the others all started to talk about dinner. It was Konan’s turn to cook, so she had to go and worry about that for a while, eventually serving everyone french onion soup. Then the others all insisted on watching Die Hard 3 together.By the time they eventually got to bed, Konan was deeply frustrated in more ways than one.  How hard is it to get some peace and fucking quiet around here!? she wondered in bewilderment as Kisame walked past them for the fourth time, a towel over his shoulders, humming Last Christmas. Finally, everyone else wound down for the night, too. Pain had a shower last, so by the time he got back, Konan was already in bed, trying to craft a plan for the next day to ensure sexy alone time with Pain. She couldn’t actually believe she was missing her room at school, which while relatively small, at least had four walls and doors she could close, instead of the open-plan living room they were currently stuck in.Pain turned the light off. Everything was dark except a soft glow across part of the hallway, where Itachi had forgotten to turn off the hall light outside his room. Pain slid into bed with a sigh and scooted up behind her. Konan was hyper aware of each movement, the smell of his freshly-shampooed hair, his breath on the back of her neck. He slung a long arm around her with a big sigh. Konan linked her fingers with his, closing her eyes, Definitely not intending to sleep, though, if she was lucky.She focused on the details: the heat of his arm against her, the weight of it on her waist, his body sinking the mattress down two inches behind her. She pulled up the front of her shirt slowly, pulling his hand against her, smiling as he stroked her stomach, his hand warm on her skin. She shifted backwards into him, biting her lips as his chest pressed against her back, as she wiggled her hips closer into him. His head shifted on the pillow, nosing closer to her.“You sleepy?” she whispered, opening her eyes, looking out at nothing in the dark, listening hard to hear his reaction, the shift of the mattress as he stirred.“Not really,” he replied, his voice soft and easy. She hummed, wiggling back into him, grinning as she felt his dick through his shorts between her asscheeks. “What are you doing?” he asked, and she could hear the smile in his voice.“Nothing,” she said innocently, still wiggling. “Yeah right,” Pain whispered, leaning over and kissing her neck.She shivered, breathing deeper, turning her face to him as his breath fanned over her neck, her ear as he circled her skin with his tongue. He kissed across her face, found her lips. She opened her mouth for him and he slid his tongue in. She moaned softly, everything feeling easier and more intimate when they were already comfortable, on the edge of sleepy, defenses lowered. She pulled his hand down as it pressed into her stomach, guiding it down to her panties. He sighed into the kiss, his hand sliding between her legs, outside her panties. He began to move his fingers, stroking her gently. She giggled and sighed, kissing him harder, shifting her hips and parting her legs so he had better access. He shifted his weight up onto his right elbow, kissing her more deliberately, his hand firm now between her legs, fingers bent, pressing against her, circling and stroking. Konan was breathing harder, twitching as he hit a good spot, slipping an arm under his head to stroke his hair.Suddenly, she tensed up, flashing back to where she had been lying on the bathroom floor on Halloween. She heard the clink of a belt buckle. She smelled the bathroom cleaner. Her blood. Zaku’s breath. The rank odour of his underwear. Felt his cold hand scrabbling at her panties, his nails scratching at her, his hand clammy between her legs.Pain had stopped. He pulled his hand away and propped himself up on his elbow, looking at her, concerned.“Konan, are you okay?” he whispered.She nodded vaguely, not sure what to say. “Sorry, um… I just…”He looked into her eyes, a worried wrinkle between his eyebrows. “Did I hurt you? Was it uncomfortable?” Oh fuck. No, no, no… Why are we both having issues now? “Want to stop?”She shook her head. “No, not at all, I just, I just—” She took a deep breath. “I just kind of had a little flashback. To Halloween. That’s all.”“Oh, gotcha,” Pain said, pulling further away with a nod. “You want some space?”  “No, I don’t want space, I don’t want to stop,” she murmured urgently, grabbing at his arms, pulling him back, her eyes on his lips, still so turned on but now feeling cold, confused. “But… but…”Pain kissed her forehead. “Okay. It’s okay. Can I try something?”She nodded.“Okay,” he said in his low, easy voice. “Just look at me.”She met his gaze, deep violet in the dark. He shifted her so she lay on her back under him, propped up on his elbow. He smiled at her, leaning close, pressing his forehead against hers. “Keep looking,” he murmured. “It’s just me, right? It’s just us.” She smiled, recognizing what he was saying. His hand slid down her stomach slowly.“You’re good. You’re safe, honey.” There was so much trust and want in his eyes, Konan felt like she was sinking into him as his hand travelled further down, slipping back between her legs, pressing against her softly, then when she nodded, more purposefully, circling. Pain was nosing across her face, kissing softly, breathing encouragement and reassurance, listening to her. When her breath hitched or he felt her tense, he lifted back up, saying Look at me, I’ve got you, it’s okay.  “Okay,” Konan breathed, her heart pounding fast, hips automatically lifting up to meet his hand when he moved it.“Okay?” he asked, sliding his fingers up to the waistband of her panties, dipping just below. “You want me to?” he breathed, gazing down at her, eyelids heavy, eyes dark.Konan nodded. “Yeah. If you want to,” she whispered back, pulling him down to kiss again.She focused on his hand as it slid under her panties, and she felt herself blushing when his fingers slid against her and she realized how wet she was. She lifted her hips so he could pull the panties down, losing herself in his kiss, in his touch, as he rubbed her pussy, coming up to circle her clit as she gasped into his mouth. He kissed her neck, lowering as he slipped two fingers into his mouth, meeting her gaze as she watched him taste her, then slid them inside her. He was breathing hard against her as she grabbed his arm when he bent his fingers, pressing against her, finding a tight bundle of nerves that made her gasp. She clutched at him, leaned forward to catch his nipple piercing with her tongue.“You know what you like, right?” he breathed into her hair. “Uh-huh.”“So tell me.”“Okay.”She was fully on her back, Pain propped up over her, kissing her neck as she whispered to him, letting him know when to go faster, press here, circle there, push harder, when to stroke softer. She felt him sit up and opened her eyes. He was gazing down at her, grinning, still fingering her lazily. She blushed and turned her head.“Don’t stare at me…”“Sorry.” He dipped, kissed her. “I kinda want to eat you out again…”She blushed harder, gasping as his thumb swiped across her clit and his fingers pressed up inside her. “Sure, if you want…” she mumbled, giggling as he immediately pulled the blankets down. He hiked her legs up over his shoulders, bending low, shooting her a wicked smile that sent heat right where he was focusing before burying his face in her again, licking long and deep, moaning into her at his first taste. She writhed against the sheets, gasping, as he applied his tongue to her clit. Konan trembled in his grip, biting her lips, eyes shut tight as his tongue swirled around it, flicking, and he slid his fingers back inside her “Oh my god,” she moaned quietly, pressing a hand to her face as she felt herself shaking, his fingers bending against her in the way that made her mind white out, her thighs trembling on his shoulders. She whimpered, breathing fast, barely able to form a coherent thought, but knowing she wanted it deeper. She patted Pain’s shoulders to get him to lift up, and scooted down the bed so her head was off the pillows, flat on the mattress. She swung her legs up and over, her feet hanging down either side of her head, weight resting on her shoulders and upper back, holding her ankles down, spread totally open for him. Pain stared down at her, lips slack, eyes blown dark. “Jesus, Konan, what the fuck…”  he breathed, grabbing her around the thighs. He smashed his face into her pussy, eating her out like he’d been waiting for it all day, groaning, licking long and hard and fast, pushing his tongue inside and swirling it, holding her thighs tight, his body pressed up against her lower back. He pulled back, raised himself up on his knees and slapped her ass, making her gasp and laugh. He grinned as he leaned over her, panting, one hand playing with her pussy, the other pressing the tips of his fingers to her lips. He watched, eyelids heavy, as Konan opened her mouth for him. She held his gaze as she tasted herself on his fingers, sliding her tongue between them and then up and down, sucking gently, getting them wet with her spit. “Fuck,” Pain breathed, and pulled his fingers out, immediately slipping them back in her pussy, fingering her fast and hard.“Oh my god!!” she squeaked, head jerking up as she inched up the bed on the force of his hand, blushing at the wet, slapping sounds of his palm against her pussy.She clapped a hand to her mouth, her breath fanning hot over her fingers as she tried desperately not to make noise, watching Pain’s wrist moving as his fingers, curved just inside her, hit that bundle of nerves again and again and again, so hard, five times a second, his other hand pinning her still by the shoulder. He was gazing down at her, lips open, jaw loose, eyes blown so dark they were almost black.He bent down again, mouth open, licking at her, tongue moving fast on her clit as his fingers just kept fucking going . He bent them harder and Konan screamed into her hand, nearly crying.  “Jesus, Konan,” he exclaimed again, shaking his head, panting, kneeling up to watch her, his hand still moving so fucking fast. “Is it okay, if I – I gotta – please –”Konan nodded, no idea what he was asking for but she was barely hanging on,  squeaking around the hand stuffed in her mouth, biting down, trying unsuccessfully not to make any noise as he fingered her like a fucking machine. She heard a rustling and saw him shift, pulling his boxers down. His other arm started moving behind her legs and he let out a half-sigh, half-growl, leaning over her again and she could feel his other arm brushing against her ass at a fast pace as his hand pumped up and down the length of his cock. Knowing he was jerking off as he watched her, fingered her, made even more heat rush to Konan’s face and she shut her eyes, biting down on her hand. She felt him lower again and lick up her pussy, sucking her clit as he fingered her, knuckles bent, hitting that bundle of nerves, his palm sliding against her pussy, and all of a sudden every muscle in her body was tensing and shaking as she squeezed her eyes shut, and she was whimpering “I’m gonna come, I’m gonna come,” and he panted, “ Yeah, yeah, yeah , fuck yeah , please, baby ,” against her as she pressed both hands to her mouth to muffle the sound as she screamed, half-crying, her whole body caught in a lightning strike of pleasure so intense it almost hurt . “Oh my fucking god, ” Pain groaned into her, pulling his fingers out and wrapping his arm tight around her thigh, nails digging in as he buried his face in her pussy, licking her up in broad, fast strokes. She was gasping below him, her whole body trembling like she’d just run a marathon. Her legs flopped down and he lowered himself, still on his knees, crashing his lips into hers and kissing her hard, licking into her mouth, sighing as he felt her chest falling and rising, felt the sweat in her hair. She could hear the sounds of his hand working up and down his cock, felt his arm moving against the back of her thigh, stroking fast. Konan turned her head and he kissed her neck as she looked down, catching sight of the silver beads either side of the head of his cock through his pumping fist. The barbell. She felt her mouth water and blushed, embarrassed of herself, but still...“Let me, let me,” she mumbled, getting onto her knees.“Konan, hold on, wait, I need a— I’m gonna—” Pain panted. He was reaching for the kleenex box on the bedside table, staring at her in surprise as she moved towards him.She fell forwards into him on her wobbly legs, grabbing his hips as he gasped.  “Oh fuck,” he hissed, one hand jerking over his dick, other hand missing his grab for the kleenex, eyes squeezing shut as Konan leaned down, mouth open. A hot stripe of cum hit her face before she got her mouth over him, taking both of them by surprise. She slid her lips over the head of his cock, moaning in surprise at the girth as her lips stretched over it. She shut her eyes and ran her tongue over the metal ball ends of his piercing as thick, hot liquid filled her mouth, and it was only then that she realized she hadn’t thought this through.
Um… oh my god. I don’t know what I’m doing. When does it end!? Am I supposed to swallow!? I didn’t think about this oh my god oh my god… help…
Her cheeks puffed out as Pain shuddered above her, a hand stroking her hair, whispering “Oh my god, oh my fucking god.” When he’d finished, he pulled out of her mouth, gasping, face pink, chest sweaty, staring down at her like she was something miraculous. Konan stared back, mouth full, trying to communicate panic and confusion.“Spit it out, it’s okay, spit it out,” Pain panted after a second, realizing what was going on, patting her on the shoulder. “In the bathroom?”Konan crawled off the bed, feeling ridiculous, wanting to laugh, wondering to herself as she hurried to the bathroom whether or not she liked the somewhat salty taste of him.She flicked the light on and zipped to the sink and spat it all out. There was definitely more than she’d expected. She turned on the tap and cupped her hands beneath it, rinsing her mouth out. “Uh… Merry Christmas…” She started and spun around. Deidara was outside the bathroom door, wearing plaid pyjama pants and a Santa hat, holding a bag of presents and a stocking. “Yeah, you too, Merry Christmas,” she said, trying to sound normal, pulling the front of her t-shirt down so he couldn’t see it was the only thing she was wearing. Deidara was staring at her face, plainly trying as hard as he could not to burst out laughing, his mouth clamped shut, shoulders shaking. He staggered past, waving the stocking at her vaguely. She heard him shut the door to his and Sasori’s room and immediately laugh like a hyena.She turned to look at herself in the mirror. Her jaw dropped. What was very obviously a white stripe of cum stretched from her right eyebrow down to her left cheek, and was currently sliding down her face. “Oh my god…. ” she groaned, reaching for the face wash. “Was that Deidara?” Pain asked, confused, still sounding a little winded, leaning around the bathroom door, face pink. He’d put his boxers back on and found a hoodie to wear. He saw her face. “Oh. Um, sorry… I guess he saw that, huh?”They stared at each other for a second, then burst out laughing, too.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The next morning, Konan and Pain woke up first. After brushing their teeth and washing up, they snuck around the house, waking everyone up to open their stockings, planning to make up for this dickheadedness by making waffles and bacon for breakfast. Konan followed Pain into Sasori and Deidara’s room first, tiptoeing behind him, covering her mouth to stop from giggling.Deidara was asleep on his back, his right knee bent sharply at an angle, as though to fend off Sasori. Deidara’s right hand lay across Sasori’s lower back, two fingers hooked into the waistband of his boxer briefs. Sasori lay on his stomach, at a diagonal, his hips avoiding Deidara’s knee, his right arm looped loosely around Deidara’s shoulders. After a silent count to three, Konan and Pain jumped on the bed, yelling ‘MERRY CHRISTMAS!!’They retreated after receiving a handful of hard kicks and rolling back off the bed again, laughing as they headed to the next room.Kisame slept under the covers, peaceful as a portrait. Itachi lay over his covers, limbs splayed, wearing a wrap-around eye mask that covered his ears, too, with a small fan and dehumidifier humming by his head, plus his phone open to a sleep monitoring app. They were slightly less hostile to being roughly woken up, although Kisame did bean Konan in the face with a stuffed shark toy.Hidan, as it turned out, slept utterly and completely naked. Konan was only saved from seeing more than she wanted to see by a tiny corner of his sheet, which had folded over his crotch like a fig leaf. Pain shoved her towards Kakuzu, opting to wake Hidan up himself. Kakuzu was asleep on his stomach, holding his pillow. Konan reached down and tickled his feet. Without opening his eyes, Kakuzu rolled over and chucked his pillow with incredible force in one smooth movement. Apparently he’d figured it was Hidan bothering him, as the pillow headed directly for Hidan’s face, just as Pain was about to wake him.“What the fuck!?” Hidan sputtered groggily. “Merry Christmas!” Pain and Konan chorused, retreating as Hidan looked to be about to get up, surely seconds from dislodging his modesty corner.Despite the wake-up call, it took the others a full hour to fully assemble in the kitchen, yawning and scratching, to fill up their plates with waffles and bacon, and fill their mugs with tea and coffee. Since Deidara and Sasori were heading to visit Sasori’s grandmother for the afternoon, they decided to all open stockings and presents over breakfast. Konan had already given out all her gifts, and Hidan and Kakuzu actually wore their Zombie Combo sleeveless tanks when they got dressed. She had already received the necklace from Pain and illustrated poster from Sasori, but she also received several chocolate bars from ‘Santa’ (Deidara) in a stocking, a coupon book for swimming lessons and inflatable Little Mermaid water wings from Kisame (which made everyone laugh), a butterfly knife from Hidan, an at-home spa kit from Itachi, an alarm clock that looked like a bomb from Deidara, (but after asking Deidara several times to reconfirm, wasn't actually a bomb), and a blue and grey scarf hand-knitted by Kakuzu.Later that morning, Sasori and Deidara set off to visit Sasori’s granny, Itachi and Kisame started baking mince pies, and the others started prepping for Christmas dinner. Konan put herself down as in charge of the roasted veggies and mashed potatoes, then pulled on a coat and headed outside to phone her mum.Her mother picked up on the third ring.“Hello?”“Hi Mum, it’s me.”“Konan!” Just hearing her mother’s voice made her smile. Residual tension she hadn’t realized she was carrying melted away. “Hey.”“It’s so good to hear your voice. How is school?”“Good, it’s the holiday break, of course.”“Oh, of course,” her mother said a little vaguely. Konan closed her eyes, nodding along, figuring she must be dosed up on something. “Does your father call you a lot? Has he visited?”Konan snorted. “No, of course not. Does he visit you? ”Her mum laughed lightly, airy-fairy as usual. “Mmm. Are you with your father, now, then? Weren’t you travelling with him?”“No, he cancelled last minute, so I’m staying with some friends.”“How nice, sweetie. Friends from school?”Konan grinned, feeling a little shy but excited to share. It had been way too long since she’d managed to get her mum on the phone. “Yeah, they’re my roommates. They’re really nice – I told you about them before.”“Oh?” 
She doesn’t remember. Oh well.
“Are you having a good time?”“Yeah,” Konan said with a smile. “How about you, how are you doing? You’re having a new treatment or something?”“Oh, yes. I’ve been feeling quite tired, and weak, and my system’s been a bit off. I’ve been feeling these… palpitations, I don’t know. And my breathing is weak lately.”“You sound pretty good to me,” Konan said, knowing she always said the same thing.“Thank you, sweetie. I hope this time it works.” Her mother paused for a second, then let out a small sigh. “Your father hasn’t pulled you out of school or anything?”Konan frowned. “No?”“He hasn’t mentioned summer trips or anything?”“I hardly talk to him. And, I don’t ever want to talk to him ever again,” she said, voice rising. “I’m never living with him again, either.”Her mother sighed again, but didn’t chastise her. “Oh, Konan…”Konan changed the subject. “I have a boyfriend,” she said shyly.“Really?” That seemed to catch her mother’s attention – her voice was clearer, less vague. “A boyfriend, huh? I hope he’s a good young man. He’s kind?”“Yeah,” Konan grinned. “He’s very kind. I think you’d like him.”“That’s good. Tell him to treat my baby girl like an angel, and to cherish her properly, and respect her, and to give her lots of love, and let her keep her freedom—”“ Mum! How can I possibly tell him any of that!?”Her mother laughed gently, but it soon turned into a coughing fit. When she recovered, she said, “I hope I can meet him someday. Your boyfriend.”“You will! Next time I can come see you, I’ll bring him to visit.”“Oh good.” Her voice was so faint now. “Konan, the doctor’s coming. I’d better go.”“Oh. Okay.”“Merry christmas! I love you, sweetie.”“Love you, mum. Merry Christmas.”—Christmas day and the day after passed in a haze of food, wrapping paper, and passing out mid-way through a movie, wrapped up in blankets as the others balanced tangerine and mince pies on her head. While she had had a few other things on her mind, Konan hadn’t forgotten about wanting to give Pain head. In actual fact, she was thinking about it a lot. To a kind of uncomfortable degree. To the point she was incredibly grateful that none of her friends could read her mind when they started complaining that she was zoning out while they talked to her. She was starting to feel a low hum of anxiety whenever she thought about the fact that no matter how she looked at it, she was falling behind.
I mean, he went down on me the night of the winter dance… for like… hours… 
She felt her face getting warm, remembering this.
And then he fingered me AND ate me out the other night and… and made me come…
She fanned her cheeks, feeling them heating up.
And meanwhile, I haven’t given him head, or a handjob, or anything at all, but he’s constantly like, ‘ooh, Konan, sit on my face,’ ‘you taste so good,’ ‘I wanna eat you out again,’ jerking off while fingering me, instead of–
“You okay? Is it too spicy?” Pain’s voice cut through her inner monologue.“Um...  eh?”Konan snapped back to reality, a forkful of curry half-way to her mouth, one hand fanning her face, Pain and Kisame both staring at her across the table.“Oh, um, yeah, spicy!” she gabbled, dropping the fork and reaching for her water glass, fanning her hot face harder with her free hand.She could swear Pain was half-smirking as he watched her.
Worse than all that, that motherfucker seems to know exactly what I’m thinking about whenever I’m thinking about…this…
The main thing that concerned her was that she had never given head before. Yes, she had managed to get her mouth on his dick at the last moment the other day, but he’d come right away and she hadn’t exactly done anything. To be fair, she wasn’t 100% sure of what she should do, if given the opportunity. She’d watched porn, for sure. But it was hard to tell exactly what the giver was doing, since their head isn’t exactly see-through. And some of the stuff in porn she’d seen frankly seemed uncomfortable, and gross. She really wasn’t terribly sure she wanted Pain to hit her in the face with his penis and tell her how much she wanted it. She wasn’t too sure about the choking, either, or about him dragging her off the side of a bed to fuck her face. The men in the videos never seemed to care if the girl was literally choking. And they said things she didn’t ever want Pain to say to her, and frankly, the girls usually said things Konan couldn’t imagine herself saying to him in a million years. Is that what he’d want me to do, though!? I have no idea… And how could I ask him that? She’d been Googling so much that at this point, her search history was kind of appalling.
Blow job tips first time

Hand job vs blow job

What to do with tongue during blow job?

What if you bite the dick by accident during blow job?

What exactly is deep throat?

How to breathe doing deep throat?

Do guys like deep throat?

gag reflex deep throat

if i am not a throat goat is it even worth it to give anybody head?

What if i throw up on my boyfriend’s dick will he still like me? 
It was getting to the point that she was teetering on the edge of asking Sasori or Deidara for advice, but she resisted, knowing that would open a huge can of worms and would probably be uncomfortable for everyone, including Pain since they might tell him she’d asked. Not to mention, she would probably learn a little too much about her friends’ personal preferences. She decided to keep it to herself.Unfortunately, Sasori happened to walk in on her in the kitchen early in the morning on New Year’s Eve, at the exact moment she had been conducting an experiment with a banana. “What in under god are you doing!? ” he choked. He had been half-way through a yawn and sounded like he’d swallowed a fly.Konan quickly bit off the banana and dropped the other half of it into the sink in a panic.“Um… nothing…” she said, mouth full. Sasori could barely get his breath back, but he was already laughing hysterically, clutching at the door frame for support. “ Please tell me you weren’t doing what I think you were doing,” he gasped.“I’m just having breakfast,” Konan protested, chewing innocently. “Potassium, you know…”“Oh right, ” Sasori shot at her. “You weren’t trying to practice your GG9000 on a piece of fruit?”“Um… my what?”“Girl, you were blowing that banana,” Sasori said, shouldering past her with a snort and picking up the other half of the unfortunate fruit out of the sink, chucking it into the compost bin. “Unless you eat like an anaconda .”Konan groaned and swallowed. “What do I have to do to get you to promise to never, ever, ever mention this to anybody?” she asked, pressing her hands to her face.“Hmm, I dunno,” Sasori said. She could hear the smile in his voice as he hopped up onto the opposite counter. “What are you offering?”“I dunno. My soul?”“Pass,” Sasori said, picking up a bottle of orange juice and twisting the cap off. “Who am I going to tell, anyway? You’re so suspicious, Konan. You can’t just trust me to keep this to myself?”Konan scowled and hopped up on the counter opposite him, folding her arms. “I think you’d think it was funny to tell Pain about it.”“Yeah, you’re right. You’re convincing me, actually, maybe I’ll go wake him up and let him know he’s in for a surprise. Tell him to really focus on the manscaping tonight,” Sasori said, starting to laugh again. “But as a heads up, Konan, you can’t peel a dick, okay? Don’t try, for your boyfriend’s sake.”Konan kicked his leg. “I know that… ” She sighed: might as well ask for advice now that basically the worst had already happened. “I just… I haven’t done this before, okay? I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to be bad at it.”“You’ve never given him head before?”Konan shook her head.Sasori guffawed. “So when Deidara walked in on you the other night, what exactly was on your face? Moisturizer? ”Konan’s cheeks were burning. “Oh my god!!! Nevermind, I never want to talk about this ever, ever again…”“Come on, it's okay.” Sasori was smirking at her, his gaze ridiculously amused, but also a little pitying. “But, you do know there’s this thing called Google? ”.Konan kicked him again. “I know, I know! I tried that! I ended up with a load of different opinions, and the things to do might depend on whether or not he’s circumcised or whatever, and then I got sidetracked by the stupid dildo scene in White Chicks… “Sasori snorted. “Uh, yeah, don’t do that,” he said, taking a sip of orange juice.“I gathered that much!” Konan said indignantly, then sighed. “I just don’t know… like, what if I’m terrible? What if I have a really bad gag reflex? What if I throw up on him!? And, doesn’t it hurt your knees? And, what if I don’t want to swallow? Or what if I’m so bad he like, loses his boner… And, and—”Sasori choked on his juice, spluttering. “Oh my god . Stop freaking out.”Konan groaned, tipping her head back until it hit the kitchen cupboard. “Well, I’m stressed out! And I don’t want Pain to know I’m this neurotic and pathetic!”Sasori sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Okay. Blanket statement: just talk to him about whatever you’re worried about. He won’t think you’re neurotic and pathetic. God knows why not, because you’re definitely both, but—”Konan caught his grin, but just sighed, shaking her head.“Come on. You’ll be fine,” he continued, a little more earnestly. “I will answer five yes or no questions on this subject, and then I’m going back to bed. I know a lot more about my best friend’s sex life than I would ever wish to,” he said with another shake of the head, “And I don’t want to add another chapter to that book.”“Really? Five questions?” Konan asked, perking up at once.Sasori gave her a suspicious look, taking another sip of orange juice. “Can I reserve the right to not answer a question if it’s too weird?”Konan shook her head. “No! The weird ones are the ones I can’t find anything helpful for on Google!”“Ugh fine. Go ahead.”Konan drummed her fingers on the counter, thinking. “If I’m not satisfied with your answer, can I get another free question?”“Hell no! I’m doing you a favour!”“Okay, fine.” She pushed her lips out thoughtfully. “Okay. Are you supposed to use hands, or no hands? Where do your hands go? What if you overbalance on your knees, like is it weird to hold his legs or something? What if I’m like, getting on my knees, and I lose my balance, what if I grabbed his dick, would that be bad?”Sasori laughed again. “Um, firstly, that was like five different questions. Second, what the hell are you thinking, using his dick like a fucking handlebar!?”Konan was laughing too, now. “Come on, come on! Where’s my answers?”Sasori rolled his eyes, scratching his cheek uncomfortably. “A lot of this just depends on what you like, Konan, and what he likes. Just try something. Use your hands for a bit, whatever.” He shrugged. “If you’re on your knees, yeah, you can hold his hips or something if you want to.”“Well, do you know what he likes?”Sasori raised an eyebrow. “Funny enough, he really doesn’t bring it up, no.”Konan sighed. “Fine… Well, generally am I supposed to be doing deep throat, or whatever?”Sasori took half a minute to respond, just letting out a long sigh like he couldn’t believe he was doing this. “I really wouldn’t worry about that for your first time, Konan.”Konan nodded, feeling her face reddening, but persevering. “Okay. Now, um, how hard exactly am I supposed to be… sucking…?”Sasori was leaning back against the kitchen cupboards, his eyes squeezed shut, face getting pink. “Nothing too crazy, and then just ask him what he likes, okay?”“Okay. Um… What exactly am I supposed to be doing with my tongue? Like, what feels good? I found a load of conflicting information…” Sasori pressed his hands to his face. “Oh my god… Uh… Okay. When, when you start, like, before you get it in your mouth, you can like, lick up the outside, or around the base, and use your hands…” His voice was getting smaller and smaller, muffled in his hands.“Lick up the outside, like… from the bottom? At the head, are you supposed to like… put your tongue in the… the thing…?” she asked.Konan’s face was burning. She covered her face with her hands, too, matching Sasori’s pose as they just talked at each other across the kitchen tiny in muffled voices.“Probably not, that’s really sensitive…” Sasori said. “But, so you can lick up the shaft, and then you put your mouth over it, and when you sink down to the base, you can still be like, using your tongue—”“What in Satan’s gaping asshole are you sick fuckos talking about!?”Konan and Sasori jumped, uncovering their faces, and turned to see Hidan standing in the doorway to the kitchen in his pyjama pants, brushing his teeth and staring back at them.Sasori opened and shut his mouth, his shoulders starting to shake with silent laughter.“We’re rehearsing a play!” Konan burst out. Hidan stared at her. “A play!?”  “Yes,” she said breathlessly. “What kind of whack-ass pervy play is this?”“Um… Sasori, what’s it called again?” she asked desperately, unable to think of anything.“Oh, it’s a stage adaptation of the sequel to Rochelle Rochelle: A young girl’s strange erotic journey from Milan to Minsk ,” Sasori said at once, plainly trying and failing to keep a straight face.“Right!” Konan said, nodding vigorously. “Yes, the sequel, um… Rochelle Rochelle 2: an even more erotic journey, this time from Winnipeg to Waterloo.” Hidan eyed them suspiciously, then snorted. “Yeah fucking right .” He turned around, and before Konan and Sasori could do anything except hiss no, no, no, he’d called out, “SASORI AND KONAN ARE TALKING DIRTY IN THE KITCHEN!” at the top of his voice.Konan and Sasori immediately jumped off the countertops and scrambled out of the kitchen, forming a mini scrum at the door and crushing Hidan against the doorframe as he tried to block them, while shouts, catcalls, and whistles burst from every other room of the house.—Pain didn’t bring up the supposed dirty talk incident until after dinner, when they were changing into pajamas before joining the others for a movie before pre-gaming and heading out. Sasori was supervising Deidara in the kitchen while he made popcorn, and so far there had only been one unexpected bang, so things couldn’t be going too badly.Konan pulled on the Bikini Kill t-shirt she had been borrowing from Pain, then put the hoodie she borrowed from Kisame back on top. It was so big, it fell to her thighs, which made it perfect for curling up and watching a movie. When she emerged from the neck of the hoodie, Pain was unfastening his belt with lazy, practiced movements, hand rhythmically jerking the leather strap out from the loops. Time seemed to slow down as she watched, heat prickling at her cheeks. “What’s up?” Pain asked her, grinning. Konan blinked, realizing with another surge of heat to her face that her mouth was weirdly full of spit — she had been full-on salivating. She swallowed, looking away.“Nothing, nothing…” she mumbled, reaching for her own sweatpants and pulling them on.“Really?” Pain asked, amused.Konan heard the slide and jingle of metal as he slipped the belt off, and heard it drop to the floor. She closed her eyes, willing herself to stop blushing. 
Don’t think about it, don’t think about it…
But Pain doing the sexy belt dance from Deidara’s end of term routine played immediately in her mind nonetheless. She saw him biting the leather, wrapping it around his wrists and rocking his hips forward, rolling his body with the belt looped around his neck…“Nothing’s on your mind?” he asked, teasingly. “Not even… Rochelle Rochelle 2: an even more erotic journey ?”Konan looked up at him, jaw dropping. “How do you know about–”Her eyes flicked for a second down to his hands as he popped the button on his jeans.“What are you doing?”“I’m not allowed to change into sweatpants?” he asked, teasing again. “No, no, you are,” Konan said hastily, looking away and starting to fold the bed back into a couch so everyone could sit. “Do what makes you comfortable.”“You sure?” She could hear the smile in his voice. And she could hear his zipper go down.“You look a little flustered, that’s all.”Konan kept her eyes down, fluffing pillows and finding the TV remote.“I’m fine,” she replied.She heard Pain’s jeans come down. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him rummaging around for his sweatpants.“You thirsty?” Pain asked coyly.Konan whirled to face him, blushing madly.“What!? No…” He was pulling his sweatpants up over his boxer briefs. The waistband caught on his bulge for a second, shifting it up before he readjusted his grip and pulled the sweatpants over, the fabric still curving noticeably across the front.“You want something to drink?” he asked. “I’m heading to the kitchen.” Konan shook her head mutely. He walked past her, snickering, and bumped her shoulder with his arm on the way out. By the time he came back, she had folded herself back up in a corner of the sofa, and Sasori, Itachi, and Kisame were crowded around, arguing over what movie to watch. Once all the others had gathered, they put it to a vote, and collectively decided to watch Alien. Pain sat down again, turfing Hidan onto the floor to sit next to Konan. Deidara tossed everyone a Jarritos, then sat down, leaning against the sofa between Konan’s legs on the floor, Sasori flopped across his thighs. Itachi was folded on Pain’s other side, holding the tub of semi-burned popcorn Deidara had made, and Kisame and Kakuzu lay sprawled on cushions on the floor.Pain’s arm was close enough to Konan’s that she felt it every time he shifted. She felt even more hyper aware of him than she had the night she’d sat next to him in the hallway, talking about his detentions. The hair on her arms stood on end, and every time he sighed or readjusted, she tensed up.  It took a solid fifteen minutes for her to stop replaying his bulge shift and actually pay attention to the plot of the movie. She didn’t know why that had burned itself on her mind – she had seen his actual erect cock before, but so briefly, that somehow just the casual movement, and the fact that she had been thinking all day about giving him head, had basically got her thinking of nothing else.
I am a depraved pervert who should not be allowed in public… I am a depraved pervert who doesn’t deserve to have such a nice boyfriend if I’m just going to fully objectify him like this…
After another twenty minutes, Pain leaned into her, his hand gently pushing her hair back from her face. She flinched and closed her eyes as he whispered in her ear, his warm breath fanning over her skin.“Sorry for teasing you about that earlier.”Konan took a needlessly deep breath and turned her head to whisper back to him. “About what?”His hand stroked through her hair again, making her shiver. She felt him laugh softly against her. His lips caressed the shell of her ear on his whispered reply.“Konan, I love you, but you're really not that subtle. Plus, Sasori mentioned something. …Were you thinking of giving me head?”
This guy. Damnit. And god damn that blabbermouth Sasori…
Keeping her expression as still and cool as she could, eyes on Sigourney Weaver, Konan whispered back, “Okay, okay, okay. Yes, I was thinking about it. You got me.” Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Pain’s eyebrows raise and the corner of his mouth hitch up. “Oh really?”“Yeah, yeah. Can we please watch the movie?” she hissed back, feeling her cheeks starting to heat up.She heard his quiet laugh again. “Sure. Cutie.”Konan hid the lower half of her face in her sweater sleeves so Pain couldn’t see her blushing, or her embarrassed grimace when he kept glancing her way.“Stop looking at me!!” she mouthed when he looked a fifth time.He grinned and leaned back over to whisper, “Sorry. It’s just pretty fucking hot that you’re thinking about that.”Konan’s face was burning. 
This fucking guy…
She pulled her phone out and started texting Deidara when Pain had sat straight again and refocused on the film.K: Hey. Need advice. I’m not asking Sasori bc he just tells Pain everything, even tho he always says he won’t but he obv does.
Anyway, Pain always has the upper hand in everything. Like, I never have the upper hand. He has so much hand I have no hand. Nothing ever embarrasses him?? And he just teases me all the time.

Sorry for tmi but i was thinking of giving him head… i was nervous and Sasori was giving me advice but now Pain found out and he’s making fun of me. i need hand. help??
Konan hit send. There was a short vibration and she breathed a sigh of relief that Deidara had his phone on him. She saw him slide it out of his pocket, switch it on and change to night mode to read her message. He gave a small snort of laughter, then typed a response.D: Yeah u have my sympathy. Hand is important, I hate it when I have no hand. Also, TERRIBLE idea, never ask Sasori for advice. K: Yeah, I thought I learned my lesson before… Lesson 100% learned now. To be fair, I didn’t MEAN to tell him, he walked in on me practicing. Deidara sent a series of laughing/crying emojis.D: Practicing!? I don’t even wanna know K: uggghhhh yeah pls don’t ask. Back to hand ? D: Ok so rn he’s teasing you right K: mhm he knows i wanna do it he’s holding it over my head like a smug little snake D: dickhead K: i knoww D: Ok maybe he’s like a paper lion. If ur assertive, he’ll be so shocked. he won't expect it from you bc you get embarrassed easy. So like flip the script yknow? Embarrass HIM! He won’t see it coming. K: ahahahaha okokok what should I say tho??? Deidara sent another wave of laughing emoji’s D: Ask him for a dick pic. ask for nudes lol Konan stifled a laugh in her sleeve.K: omgomg ok!! he would die ahaha he could literally never. He doesn’t even take selfies  Konan waited ten more minutes before texting Pain, just in case he’d been paying attention to her and had noticed her texting Deidara. Then, she sent him a message.K: Hey sorry I got embarrassed before. I have definitely been thinking about it...  it’s kind of all i’m thinking about actually… would u be down to send me some pics? ;) it’s a looong movie… Konan covered her mouth with her sleeve again, trying to keep a straight face, pretending to pay attention to the movie as she watched Pain out of the corner of her eye. A few seconds later his phone pinged loudly.“Boo, boo, throw him out of the theatre!” Kisame called jokingly. “We need a guy with a flashlight to come kick you out.”“Sorry,” Pain said vaguely, sliding his phone out of his pocket. Konan saw him switch to silent before opening her message. He glanced at her curiously then looked down at the screen. Deidara winked at Konan over his shoulder. She winked back, feeling smug.
The upper hand is all mine! Escalate! Never surrender! 
Pain, taking a sip from his Jarrito as he read the text, choked suddenly and started coughing. Itachi thumped him on the back. Konan and Deidara exchanged mischievous smirks.K: Success!!  D: lol he did NOT see that coming. When Pain recovered from his coughing fit, Konan felt his eyes on her. She kept her gaze on the TV, but was still hiding her mouth in her sleeve, knowing she couldn’t keep a straight face for long.A notification appeared on her phone screen. She opened her messages.P: …u serious? Konan bit her lips and glanced at him. He was looking at her, eyebrows raised. She cleared her throat and typed a reply, trying to come across as more confident than she felt, while also giving him (and herself) an out.K: dead serious, i can’t stop thinking about it. it’s all good if you don’t want to take one tho! whatever you’re comfortable with ^^ She watched him read her message. He rubbed his jaw and covered his mouth with his hand, staring down at his phone. Konan was sure he was blushing a little. She texted Deidara, grinning behind her sweater sleeve.K: omg he looks so embarrassed ahahaha. Omg… after teasing me so much when push comes to shove he’s folding like a deck of cards ahaha. Hand is all mine! Yay hand!! D: Haha congrats. I’m living vicariously through you. Feel like I haven’t had the upper hand in a while either…  K: Sucks right?? Is this how Pain and Sasori feel all the time I wonder? Like I can just embarrass him like this with a simple text message… I feel so powerful… D: I’ve created a monster K: lol Pain slipped his phone into his pocket and stood up, extracting himself from the tangled pile of limbs at his feet. He gave Konan a look, then loped off toward the bathroom. Konan stared at his retreating figure, then gazed, bemused, at Deidara, who shrugged at her.K: wait wait wait where’s he going??? He’s not actually gonna… take a photo????? D: he’s not seriously gonna go get hard for a picture in the middle of Alien???? this guy is unhinged K: my upper hand……. ;;n;; wth am i going to do!?? is he gonna send me a dick pic!?? i can't handle that!!!  D: lol good luck. hope the upper hand was good while it lasted. enjoy the pic i guess Konan pressed her forehead to her knees and closed her eyes. 
I guess I literally asked for it.
In spite of her plan backfiring, she was kind of excited.Pain hadn’t come back yet when the first picture arrived. Konan felt her phone vibrate and closed her eyes, her heart pounding. Carefully, holding her lower lip between her teeth, she buried her phone in the oversized sleeve of Kisame’s sweater so nobody else could catch a glimpse of the screen, the other sleeve pressed against her mouth to muffle any noise she might make, she opened the photo.Pain had taken the picture holding his phone up to the bathroom mirror. His face was mostly out of frame, but he was holding his sweater and shirt up with his teeth. Konan’s gaze travelled down his toned chest and stomach, pausing on his nipple rings, then landed on his other hand, which was holding his half-hard cock from outside his sweatpants, showing the outline through the fabric. She stared hard at the screen, ignoring the others flinching as the alien tore someone else apart. Pain’s hand was half-open, cupping his dick, showing off its girth. She swallowed and pulled her hood down further, hiding her hot face, her nose barely three inches from the screen.Before she’d got hold of herself, eyes still fixed on the outline of his cock, another photo came in.Pain’s thumb was hooked in the waistband of his boxer briefs, pulling them low, showing his happy trail, the piercing right above the base of his shaft shining in the light. His cock was just being held down by the waistband of his underwear, visibly swollen against the fabric. Konan could barely think to wonder if she should text anything back. Pain walked back into the living room, cool as a cucumber, and sat back down next to Konan like nothing unusual was happening at all. Deidara stole a quick glance of his shoulder, stifled a laugh, and took out his phone. A text from him appeared at the top of Konan’s screen two seconds later.
Your face is SO RED
Konan pressed her forehead to her knees and closed her eyes. Pain had sat down closer than he’d been before, so his hip was pressed against hers. He slid his arm over her shoulders. Konan was taking slow, calming breaths, even as her whole body was screaming at her, begging her brain to just forget everyone else was there, reach over, shove his hoodie up, straddle him, pull his sweatpants down with her teeth. His hand across her shoulders was slowly, slowly sliding down as he watched the movie. His hand slipped under the bottom of her hoodie and she inhaled sharply, his hand hot on her skin as it slid slowly to her waist, gripping her hip and then curving around her, pulling her closer against his hard side. She felt him lean closer and rest his chin on her shoulder. Her phone vibrated.She swiped it open, opening her eyes and looking down, her phone still hidden in her sleeve, to see he’d just sent her a video.Very aware of his hand now running down under the waistband of her sweats to slide over her hip across to her thigh, she lowered the volume on her phone down to silent and hit play.He must have propped his phone against something when filming it. The angle was like she was sitting right in front of him. His hand was gripping his cock, fist languidly sliding up and down, showing the silver beads of his apadravya piercing, one on the top of the head, the other below. Judging by the size of his hand, his cock was at least six inches long, and thick.  His hand on her leg curved inward, gripping her inner thigh, and if he just moved a few inches…Konan was breathing slow and deep, biting down on the sleeve of her sweater, eyes closed, simultaneously willing the movie to end already, wanting to fast forward the night to a point she would have a chance to slam Pain against a wall and pay him back for doing this to her, and also wishing it would last another few hours, loving the heat of Pain’s body and the thrill of trying to be quiet as his hand skated across her body under her clothes, hoping the others didn’t notice.—When the movie ended, everyone split up to get changed and gather the drinks, planning to gather back in the living room again to pre.Konan stood up on wobbly legs as the other boys got to their feet, stretching, and took the glittery baby blue mini dress she’d thrifted out of the bag, heading down the hall to the bathroom with it. She turned to see Pain watching her, hands in his pockets. “I’m gonna change in the bathroom,” she said. Her voice sounded strange, after keeping silent for so long. He started to grin. “You wanna come?”“Sure.”He followed her down the hall and shut the bathroom door behind them.“It doesn’t lock,” Konan reminded him, a little breathless as soon as they were alone.Pain just smiled at her, his eyes dark. He leaned against the door, arms folded, watching her as she pulled the sweater off, tossed it onto the floor, then slid the sweatpants off, holding his gaze. The fact that he was, of course, wearing the same clothes as in the video, and they were right back where he’d filmed it less than an hour ago, made it very difficult to focus on anything else. Konan was willing herself not to just stand and stare at his bulge.Deciding she might as well pretend she really had come in here to change, she pulled off her t-shirt and unclasped her bra, then slipped the glittery dress over her head. As she pulled it down over her hips, she caught Pain looking her up and down.“Something on your mind?” she asked, grinning at him, blushing at the heat in his gaze. Pain reached out and took hold of her wrist, reeling her into him as she giggled. He put his hands around her waist and span her, shoving her back against the door. “You're so pretty,” he breathed, pressing his forearms against the door on either side of her head, blocking her in, “And you’re driving me crazy.” Konan could hardly feel her own face from how turned on she was. She was gazing at his mouth, her own lips parted, and shivered when the corners of his lips lifted in a smirk as he breathed her in.“Did you like the video?” he asked softly, nosing across her cheeks, laughing when she tried to catch his mouth with hers.“Yeah,” she whispered, her hands sliding up his stomach under his hoodie, feeling hard muscles, biting her lips when they moved and stretched as he leaned in closer.Pain grinned again then kissed her, hard, sliding a hand into her hair and closing it into a fist, licking into her open mouth as she whimpered and panted against him, pulling his other hand down between her legs, burying her own hands in his hair as she slid her tongue against his.He pressed his fingers against her and she grinned into the kiss when he growled in surprise, feeling how wet she already was through her panties. He had just started sucking on her neck, moving his hand faster when someone shoved at the door from the other side. Konan flinched, eyes opening. Pain pulled back, looking at her, reading her expression as the person outside hammered a fist on the door.“Konan! Lemme in I gotta take a shit!” Hidan yelled. Konan rolled her eyes, grinning up at Pain. He bent down and kissed her again, firmly. “Konaaaaan I got a shitmonster I gotta let swim freeee!” Hidan called, banging on the door.“TBC?” Konan asked.Pain looked her up and down, biting his lip on a small smile. Then he sighed and bonked his forehead gently against hers.“TBC,” he agreed. He backed away from her, raking a hand through his hair and readjusting his sweats.Konan gathered up her discarded clothes and opened the door for Hidan, who raced in.“Thanks, I– Ohhhh,” Hidan said, turning and seeing Pain as he headed out the door. “Sorry for the cockblock, man,” he said, unzipping his jeans, “I got a fuckin’ A-bomb chambered, and it’s ready to drop!!”“Oh gross,” Konan muttered, waiting until Pain had slipped past her before slamming the door on Hidan. “Don’t leave it clogged this time!” she called through the door.“That wasn’t me! It was–” Hidan’s indignant retort was cut off by a long fart. Konan and Pain burst out laughing and ran back to the living room, where Kisame and Itachi were already setting up drinks and shot glasses.—They played Paranoia to pre-game. Konan did her hair and make-up in a mirror Pain held up for her, twisting her hair into space buns and applying eyeliner while Sasori explained the rules. The others had changed, too, mostly into variations of jeans and t-shirts, but Deidara had put in some effort, wearing a fishnet longsleeve under his MCR t-shirt, with a studded choker, ripped black jeans, and Docs. “Okay, rules are, one person whispers a question to the person beside them in the circle. That person has to say the answer to the question out loud. Anyone who wants to know what the question was, takes a drink,” Sasori said, pouring everyone a starting shot of Jameson’s. “Sound good?”“Yes,” they all chorused, like they were in primary school.“Who’s first?” Konan asked.Sasori smirked. “The person who asks ‘who’s first’.”Konan rolled her eyes and looked to either side. Deidara was on her right, Sasori on her left. “Okay,” she said, considering. She cupped her hand over Deidara’s ear and whispered, “If you had a free pass, and you had to use it on someone in this room, who would it be?”Deidara frowned around the circle, arms folded. “Ugh, Itachi,” he said eventually. “On pain of death.”Sasori, Pain, Itachi, and Hidan asked to hear the question, and took shots.“You’re gonna cheat on me with him? ” Sasori exclaimed jokingly.“On pain of death?” Itachi asked in mock-outrage.Deidara stuck his tongue out at both of them.They went around the circle several times, everyone taking at least one shot per round. Konan drank to learn that Kisame would kill for Itachi, out of everyone in the room; that Kakuzu thought they were tied for worst wingman, for opposite reasons (he wouldn't care and wouldn't put in effort, while Konan would get too excited and would be super obvious); that Hidan had a crush on someone at school, and that Sasori thought that, aside from Deidara, he would have the best bed chem with Konan out of everyone in the circle. She blushed and shrugged at Pain, who had also taken a shot to hear the answer. “Hands off,” he said to his best friend, grinning.Sasori raised his hands, shrugging. “Just being honest. I know too much about the rest of you nerds for any kind of chemistry.”“And you don’t know too much about me? You’ve seen me naked!” Konan exclaimed.“Well, maybe that helps ,” he said with a smirk.Pain and Deidara both cleared their throats loudly, putting an end to the discussion.On her turn, Konan asked Deidara when he thought he’d actually started liking Sasori back, last year. He took about two minutes to answer, sighing and raking a hand through his hair, asking over and over if she could change the question. Finally, he muttered: “Honestly… By the end of September, probably.” Everyone drank a shot to find out what the question had been, since so much anticipation had been built up. “The end of September!??” Sasori exclaimed in disbelief, staring at Deidara, whose ears were bright pink as he played with the edge of the carpet. “Yeah, so?” Deidara mumbled, grinning when Sasori made an endearingly familiar noise of impatience and reached behind Konan to give him a shove.On the last round, Itachi called a taxi service, and everyone drank for answers to the final questions. Konan learned that Pain’s favourite sex position was ‘pie in the sky,’ which he’d found after Googling it quickly. Everyone who drank to find out the question Googled it, too, and Konan realized, blushing, that it was what they had done a couple nights ago. She took a couple more shots to learn that Hidan thought Kakuzu would survive a zombie apocalypse, that Kisame had lost his virginity in the backseat of a car, that Itachi didn’t have a crush on anyone, and that Sasori’s favorite singer was Rihanna.When the taxis arrived, they headed outside. As they passed, Kakuzu handed out fake ID’s. Konan stared down at hers, which said she was 20 years old. “When did you make these!?” she asked, bemused. “And… how did you get this picture of me?” Kakuzu just winked. “Let me have my secrets.”Konan shook her head, grinning, and followed Pain.He pulled her into the very back seat of the van, while Kisame, Itachi, and Kakuzu piled in the middle, leaving Sasori, Deidara, and Hidan to go in the second car.Pain sat in the corner seat, and when Konan sat on the right hand side, he rolled his eyes at her and dragged her across to the middle seat, right next to him. Konan fell into him, giggling as the lights went out and the taxi pulled away from the house. In the seat in front, the others were loudly chatting about what music might be playing at the club, and quickly got into an argument over whether Charli XCX or Grimes made better music to dance to.Konan leaned into Pain, shifting closer as he slung his arm around her, pulling her in. She pressed her face into his neck and sighed, feeling warm from the alcohol – she was definitely tipsy.“Hey,” Pain said softly, a smile in his voice as she started to kiss his neck.“Hey,” she breathed into him. “Thanks for the pictures. And the video.”“You liked them?”“Yeah, I did.” She kissed her way up to his cheek. He looked down at her, a small embarrassed grin on his face before he dipped and gently grazed his teeth over her lower lip before kissing her.When they broke apart, Konan kissed across his cheekbone to his ear and whispered, “I’ve never given a guy head before.”Pain nodded, pulling his jacket off. He lay it over her bare legs.I want to make you feel good,” Konan said softly in his ear, feeling impulsive from the alcohol. “What should I do?”Pain’s arm, slung across her shoulders, bent at the elbow, his hand sliding into her hair, holding her head in place gently as he leaned into her, his lips caressing the shell of her ear, his other hand slipping under the coat he’d laid across her lap, running across her thighs.“You can do whatever you want to do,” he breathed. Konan shivered, leaning against his arm as his other hand slid higher and higher up her thighs beneath the coat.“But what would feel good?” she breathed.Pain laughed softly on an exhale against her neck. “Everything you do feels good.”Konan flushed, her cheeks already hot from the drink.“But what do you want me to do?” she pressed.Pain’s hand paused, inches away from her panties under the coat.“What do I want you to do?” he repeated. She could hear the teasing smile in his voice, but nodded anyway. Pain tugged on her earlobe with his teeth, his warm breath fanning over her skin, giving her goosebumps, as his left hand pressed up against her crotch, stroking and circling slowly as she parted her legs, trying desperately to keep quiet and keep a straight face in case any of the others turned around. “I want you to get on top of me, straddle me, grind down on me,” Pain breathed into her ear, “I want you to pin me down. I want you to suck my neck. I want you to leave marks on my body so everyone knows I’m yours. I want you to run your tongue down my chest…”Konan gasped as he licked the shell of her ear. Pain hushed her, his right hand lowering from her hair to slide across to her neck, cupping her jaw. “Konan, you gotta be quiet, or they’ll hear us,” he crooned softly. “Now, do you want to hear the rest or not?” She bit her lips and nodded, her cheeks bright red – through all that, he hadn’t stopped stroking between her legs.“I want you to rub your hands over my thighs, and bite them, give me hickeys, I like that…”Pain just kept going, voice low and close in her ear. When he pushed her panties to the side and started playing with her clit, she turned to hide her face in his shoulder as he kept whispering in her ear.“I want you to start slow and relaxed. I wanna see if you can fit it all in your mouth…”By the time they reached the club and the taxi stopped, Konan was sweaty and shaking, her panties soaked. “TBC,” Pain whispered to her with a grin as she clambered weakly out of the taxi He paid the driver and got out of the taxi last, holding his coat in front of him. Konan fanned herself in the snowy air, thankful it was so cold to cool herself down quickly, trying to hide her face from the others. The other boys’ taxi pulled up a minute later. “You guys get here fine?” Sasori asked after paying.“Yeah, but Pain and Konan were tryna make a baby in the seat behind us,” Kisame said, jerking a thumb at them. Konan turned and pressed her face into Pain’s shoulder as the others laughed.“Jealous?” Pain asked mildly as he walked Konan over to join the line outside the club as the others started teasing Kisame instead.“You look a little shell-shocked, hm,” Deidara said, sidling up and joining Konan once Pain had been pulled into a conversation with Sasori and Itachi. Konan cupped her hand over Deidara’s ear to whisper, “Pain was talking dirty to me and groping me the entire car ride here. ”Deidara snorted. “Oh, gross . I was wondering why he was holding his coat like that.” In response to Konan’s blank look, he added a mocking “Boner alert . ”Konan laughed, too, covering her face. “You’re too powerful,” Deidara continued, shoulders shaking with laughter. “You’ve got this man consumed with lust for a whole goddamn day. We’re gonna be here until after midnight! He’s gonna be so pent up he’s gonna have a dick aneurism when you finally blow him.”Konan cackled, blushing and shaking her head at the ridiculous image as she reached the front of the line first. She showed her fake ID to the bouncer, crossing her fingers. He waved her through, but stopped Deidara and the others. Konan turned back in surprise.“What about you?”Deidara rolled his eyes around the bouncer. “They always let girls in first. We’ll meet you inside.”“Shouldn’t I wait?” Konan asked, trying to stay where she was as a stream of young women from the other line buffeted her on the way in.“Nah, we’ll meet you!” “Okay…” She couldn’t see Pain behind Kisame and wasn’t sure he’d noticed what was happening.“Come find me soon, okay?” she called, and Deidara gave her a thumbs up. Konan followed the stream of women uncertainly; she’d never been in a club alone before, and didn’t like that she didn’t know the layout of the place. She got a hand stamp, and after transferring her wallet and phone to her boots as she had no pockets, dropped her coat off before walking down the stairs to the dance floor. The large room was lit up by flashing turquoise lights, and the floor was sticky in places from spilled drinks. Konan’s ears vibrated from how loud the music was. There was a big crowd of people dancing by the stage, where the DJ was mixing, and line-ups by the two elevated bars either side of the floor. Konan figured she’d kill some time by getting a drink. She’d had so many shots during the pregame that she was still comfortably tipsy, but still self-aware of the impulsive, playful mood she was in, that she always got into when she was buzzed. She smiled to herself as she got closer to the bartender, deciding what to get and wondering whether she might manage to get Pain into a dark corner of the club when he finally got inside…The bartender nodded at her as she reached the front.“Tequila shot?” Konan called over the music.“Make it two,” a man said loudly from her left. “I’ll get ‘em.”The bartender nodded and turned to grab shot glasses.Konan looked at the man who was sitting on a bar stool, already holding a drink of his own. He looked to be in his mid- to late-twenties, with a nondescript face, stubble, a fade, and a silver chain necklace.“It’s okay,” Konan began to say, reaching for her wallet.“My pleasure,” the man said, cutting across her and tapping his card on the machine.“Thanks,” she said.“Sure thing. I’m Ryan. What’s your name?”“Kira,” she replied.“Pretty.”The bartender put her two tequila shots down on the bar mat. Before she could take them, Ryan picked them up and put them down on his other side. She walked around him so she was out of the way of the till, keeping an eye on the drinks, but she didn’t see him do anything to them.
Ugh, I’m being paranoid. But how do I leave this guy without being rude…?
“You’re not local, are you?” Ryan asked. “I’d remember you.”Konan, who had been looking toward the entrance for her friends, shook her head. She picked up the first shot and downed it, slamming the glass down and biting the lime wedge after. She could feel his eyes on her.“Damn. Smooth,” Ryan said. He shifted his leg and turned the bar stool so his knee was framing her legs against the counter, very subtly pinning her in. “So, are you just in town for the night, or…?”“Um, no, a few more days.”“Cool. You here with anybody?”“Yeah, my friends,” Konan said, looking towards the door again. “They’re not inside yet.”Ryan gave her a once-over. “Wanna dance until they get in?”“Um…”Pain’s hand came from nowhere and picked up the second tequila shot.“Cheers, man,” he said brightly to Ryan, whose expression closed off at once. Pain downed the shot, slammed the glass back on the counter and slung his arm around Konan’s shoulders, turning her away from the bar and guiding her down to the dance floor.“You got in!” Konan said happily, looking up at him.“You got a free drink!” he said, matching her tone and grinning down at her.“So did you,” she pointed out, and he laughed, holding her hand tight as they slipped into the crowd, then reeling her in close to dance with him.Konan looped her arms over his shoulders as he pulled her in tight, grinning down at her as he guided her hips to meet his. Sasori and Deidara joined them for a while. Sasori stole her away from Pain to dance with him, pretending to make Deidara jealous (it didn’t work), then Deidara did the same (it did work; Sasori grabbed Deidara back and dragged him in the direction of the bathroom). Kisame and Hidan appeared, pushing more shots on them and headbanging wildly. Pain pulled Konan close by the hips and began kissing her neck as the flashing lights turned purple and the song changed to something with a deep, reverberating bass. Konan put her arms around his shoulders, sliding her hands up into his hair. His teeth tugged on her earlobe.“I want you so fucking much,” he breathed against her, rocking with her to the music. “I can wait. I’m happy to wait for as long as you want. But I just wanted to say so, so you know.”“I know,” she breathed back, kissing up the triangle of skin exposed by his shirt.When it was getting close to midnight, Konan heard some girls excitedly saying it was snowing outside.“You wanna go see the snow?” she asked Pain. He nodded and followed her out, holding her hand. It was like they had emerged into a snowglobe; the city streets glowed with Christmas lights, and the headlights from the roving taxis lit up the snow as it fell in spiralling flurries, dusting the hair and coats of the people outside the club, sharing smokes or waiting to get in. Konan beamed, looking around, and took Pain’s hand again. Without a word, they started walking together, heading down the side streets, looking for a quieter place. They found a small park, covered in a fresh blanket of snow. Konan couldn't walk through it in her heeled boots, so Pain piggy-backed her to the centre, spinning her around a few times for fun. “Can I say something weird?” Konan asked, slurring her words a little. She kissed Pain on the ear and tightened her arms around his neck.He tried to look at her, turning his head. “Sure thing.”“Okay.” Konan kissed his cheek. “You know how you’re my boyfriend?”Pain laughed. “I have a vague awareness of that fact, yeah.”“You’re silly. But just listen,” she said crossly, kissing his other cheek. “I’m listening,” he said. She could hear his smile.“Well you’re my boyfriend, right?”“Right.”“Well I just wanted to say, even though you’re my boyfriend, you’re still my best friend, too.”“Aw, really?”“Yep.”“That’s nice.”“I think so, too.” She kissed the top of his head.He set her down as they heard faintly from a couple blocks away, hundreds of voices calling out, “Ten… nine… eight…”  Konan and Pain joined in the countdown together, Konan grinning up at him, her cheeks pink from the cold and the drinks, Pain taking her hands in his.“Six… Five… Four…”Pain pulled her in close and cupped her face in his hands, pressing his forehead to hers gently.“Two… One…”“Happy New Year!” Konan whispered at the same time that Pain said, “I love you,” and she pulled him down for a long kiss, holding him tightly, as snowflakes danced around them.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

They texted the others to see when they were heading back. Hidan was gathering everyone to head to a second location, but Pain, after checking with Konan, responded that they would head back early.The taxi ride back was more PG than the ride to the club, but Konan was pretty certain she wasn’t the only one feeling on edge with anticipation. When Pain brushed her hand with his as he did up his seatbelt, when their eyes met in the dark, when his leg shifted to press against her, she felt a burning heat in her stomach; her whole body was practically throbbing, her heart pounding faster the closer they got to home. She closed her eyes, replaying Pain’s voice in her ear: “I want you to straddle me, grind down on me… I want you to bite my thighs, give me hickeys… I want to see if you can fit it all in your mouth…” As the taxi turned up the long driveway, Konan reached over and put her hand on Pain's thigh, pressing down and rubbing slow over his jeans.She met his gaze, lips parting as she saw the almost dangerous expression in his eyes, how dark they were. Konan fumbled the keys into the lock as Pain paid for the taxi. As soon as they’d shut the door and tugged off their boots and coats, Pain shoved Konan up against the wall, pinning her there exactly as she’d told him she likes it, kissing her hard, desperate with need, grabbing at her body, hiking up her dress. Konan kissed him back, gasping as his warm hands slid over her body, grabbing at her, and she tugged his shirt up, running her hands under it, across his chest, circling his nipples with her thumbs as he shivered into her. With a growl, Pain broke away and lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist and kissed him deeply as he walked her down the hall, only bumping her head on a doorway once.He yanked the couch back into their bed one-handed, then threw her down on it. He pulled his shirt off, his breathing slowing as he met her gaze. Konan knelt on the bed and watched his face as she unzipped her glittery blue dress and pulled it off, dropping it to the floor. She watched him look her over, smiling and shaking his head. “You’re so beautiful,” he breathed.“Take your belt off,” she said softly.He arched an eyebrow at her, not missing the commanding tone, and smiled as he obeyed.“Slower,” she said.His hands slowed, languidly bending the belt back to free the leather from the prong, then sliding it out from the loops in a practiced rhythm as Konan watched.“Take your jeans off,” she murmured. Pain did so, popping the button, unzipping. Konan’s eyes were on the outline of his cock, pressed up and to the left, straining against the fabric before he slid them down and kicked them off. “Come here and sit.” He sat on the edge of the bed. Konan crawled forward and swung her leg across his hips, straddling him. They both gasped as she rocked forward, grinding a little on his cock, which was fully hard, only held down by his boxer briefs. Pain slid his hands up her back, pulling her close against him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, rolling her hips, grinding on him as she bent and kissed him. He opened his mouth for her immediately, moaning as she licked into him, swirling their tongues together as she slid a hand into his hair, forming a fist and tightening until he groaned out a laugh.“God, you’re so fucking sexy,” he breathed, hungry eyes on her mouth.Konan sucked his lower lip and raised herself up onto her knees. Pain’s hands immediately slid down to her ass, grabbing and kneading her cheeks.She shoved him in the chest until he got the message and scooted up the bed, grinning at her, his hair a mess, cheeks flushed. She crawled across him and kissed him again, licking into his mouth, sloppy, pinning his arms down as he fought to hold her, grinding on his dick and then lifting up, smiling when he groaned, his hips arching up, trying to find her. She kissed across his cheek to his ear, licking the outside. “Am I doing a good job?” she whispered, “Is this how you want it?” As he nodded, gasping, she slipped her tongue inside his ear and giggled as he shuddered, laughing. She kissed down his neck, sucking and biting gently in the places that made him shiver. She was scooting slowly down his body on her hands and knees, licking and kissing down his chest as his hands ran up and down her thighs, squeezed her ass. She circled his nipples with her tongue, flicking them and sucking them, scraping her nails gently down his waist as he hissed and groaned under her.“Let me know if anything doesn’t feel good, or if you have any requests, okay?” she said, sliding further down, pushing his thighs apart and starting to massage them, grinning as she felt thick, hard muscle under her hands. “It’s fucking amazing so f–” Pain cut himself off with a gasp as Konan bent low and ran her tongue along the inside of his thigh, her hands skimming upward to massage his hips. She kissed, licked, and sucked her way across both of his thighs, leaving a trail of hickeys and seriously enjoying the way his hips bucked under her every time her cheek lightly grazed his straining cock. “You want me to?” she asked breathlessly, sliding her fingers under the legs of his briefs, massaging his pelvis either side of his cock, carefully not actually touching it yet.Pain was panting and sweating beneath her. He looked like he couldn’t even speak, but he nodded fast, staring at her, his eyes blown dark, colour high in his cheeks. Konan held his gaze and bent down, lowering her mouth to the head of his cock, mouthing at it through the fabric of his underwear.He closed his eyes, breathng, “Konan, oh my god, fuck, please .” She giggled against him, breathing hot onto his dick through the fabric, rubbing her mouth along the length, then licked and kissed the skin above his waistband before taking it in her teeth and pulling it down and over his rigid cock, hands massaging his thighs more before taking hold of the boxer briefs and sliding them all the way off. His cock was fully hard, and heavy, curving slightly to the left. A noticable vein ran up the underside. The large silver beads of his apadravya piercing shone in the light. Konan wet her lips, hands massaging Pain’s thighs still. His cock was big. If she closed both fists around it, one stacked on the other, they wouldn’t cover it all. Pain was watching her, eyes half-mast. He inhaled as she reached out a hand and grasped the shaft.She was surprised by how soft the skin of his cock was, and how hot it was. She watched his face as she moved her hand up and down, using her wrist. She bent down and kissed wetly around the base, then licked up the shaft, listening to Pain’s breathing. She kept her hand moving as she rubbed her lips over the head, then circled it with her tongue, running it over the piercing beads. Pain tipped his head back and let out a long, sighed 'Fffuuuck' as she took the head of his cock into her mouth and massaging his hips with her hands as she lowered down, her lips stretching around his girth. He was thick. Konan stroked the lower part of his shaft with her hand as she tried to relax her jaw, closing her eyes and licking across the shaft as she sucked. Pain’s hand slid down to her head and she moaned against him, loving the feeling of his hand in her hair while she sucked his cock. “ Fuck, Konan,” he breathed, working his lower lip between his teeth. She listened to the noises he made, paying attention to his tiny hitches of breath, the twitch of his hips, finding what he liked. When she needed to take a break to rest her jaw, she used her hand, spitting on his dick to keep it slick as she licked and sucked gently at his balls.“Konan, come up here, come up here,” Pain panted after a while, reaching for her. She pulled off his dick with a wet pop and crawled up to him, replacing her mouth with her hand and pumping him firmly as he pulled her head down, gaze on her lips. She moaned in surprise as he licked hungrily into her mouth as she sped up her strokes. His hands slid up and down her waist and then his thumbs hooked into the waistband of her panties, tugging down.“Not yet, not tonight,” she breathed, breaking away from his kiss.Pain shook his head, leaning up to kiss across her collarbones. “Yeah, I know. Do you wanna 69 though?” Konan looked down at him in surprise. He grinned up at her and shook her asscheeks in his hands, making her laugh.“Okay.”Pain scooted down the bed and guided Konan as she crawled over him and turned around, her knees on either side of him.“Is this okay?” she asked nervously, feeling a little overexposed as she lowered down.“More than okay,” Pain said. His hands ran over her thighs and slapped her ass playfully. “Loving the view.”“Hey,” Konan said, embarrassed, but her next words were lost in a gasp as Pain wrapped his arms around her hips, pulling her down, and he slid his tongue against her pussy. Konan closed her eyes for a second, dropping her head as Pain buried his face in her with a moan, then she slid her arms under his thighs, gripping them firmly, and took his cock back into her mouth, sliding down, finding she was able to get more of his length into her mouth at this angle, although it was still a stretch. Pain’s low moan as she slid to the base, her tongue swirling against his length, sent vibrations through her pussy and she hummed appreciatively around his cock.She bobbed her head, massaging his thighs, turned on even more by the ache in her jaw, how full her mouth was, how messy she was getting, her face wet with her own spit, her eyes rolling back when Pain leaned forward, pushing his tongue inside her and twisting it.She felt his breathing getting faster and his legs starting to tense. He pulled away an inch, panting, his hands digging into her hips. “I’m gonna come soon,” he breathed, licking at her while he waited for her to reply.“What should I do?”“Just go a little faster… and don’t stop. Where do you want me to come?”“In my mouth, that’s fine,” Konan breathed and slid back down to the base in one, relaxing her jaw as much as she could. Pain groaned, his hips snapping up, the head of his dick curving down the back of her throat. She gagged and pulled up until she got a breath, then sunk back down, going even faster for him while maintaining a consistent pace, mouth so wet, lips getting sore but she loved it.She listened to Pain’s breathing against her getting shallower and shallower, his grip on her thighs getting tighter. She felt his stomach tense.“ Okay, okay, baby, I’m gonna come– ” he panted, breathing shallow against her as his hips snapped up, meeting her mouth. Konan closed her eyes and held his shaking thighs as he came hard, hot, salty cum filling her mouth. She swallowed when he pulled out, and sat up, turning back around, panting. Before she could say anything or even form a coherent thought about what had just happened, Pain pulled her down into a kiss, rolling her over, his breath fast and hot across her cheeks as his heart rate started to slow back down to normal. She ran her hands through his sweaty hair, grinning against his lips, still tasting him on her tongue.“How are you? Are you okay?” Pain asked when they broke apart, panting and looking down at her, stars in his eyes and stroking her cheek.“I’m fine,” she murmured, running her hands up and down his chest. “Did that feel good?”He laughed breathily above her, shaking his head. “It was fucking amazing, Konan. Did that feel good… ” He stood up and pulled his underwear back on, then scooped her up at the waist, carrying her to the bathroom as she giggled. They showered together, kissing and pressing against each other under the spray. By the time the others staggered home, extremely drunk and all excitedly yelling about a fight Hidan had gotten into and some guy called Geoff who they had met at a shawarma place, Konan and Pain were in sweats, lying together in bed, half-asleep and watching The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants.  —A couple days before the start of term, everyone cleaned the house and packed up, heading back to school. They took a bus to the train station. Pain, ignoring Konan’s arguments, paid for her train ticket, and they were all soon zoned out, napping, or chatting, settled in for the hours-long ride back down south.After listening to music for a while and watching the scenery go by, Konan fell asleep, her head tilted against the glass, Pain sitting in the seat next to her.—Pain waited until Konan was clearly deeply asleep, lips parted slightly, breath fogging up the glass of the window, before gently kicking Sasori’s foot to get his attention.Sasori and Deidara were sitting opposite, sharing earbuds and talking. Sasori glanced up at Pain, who beckoned him. Sasori pulled out the earbud as Pain stood up, beckoning again. Sasori pointed questioningly to Konan as he stood up. Pain jerked his chin at Deidara. Sasori bent, and Pain heard him say he’ll be back soon, and to keep an eye on Konan. Deidara shrugged and nodded.Pain walked to the end of the carriage before starting, Sasori following him, sighing audibly, hands in his pockets.“I wanted to ask for advice,” Pain said in a low voice, leaning into Sasori as they passed Hidan and Kakuzu, who were arm wrestling.Sasori snorted. “It feels like I’m giving you both advice constantly and getting nothing in return.”“You’re not getting free entertainment?” Pain asked with a slight knowing grin.“Okay, yeah, maybe,” Sasori agreed. They found a half-full carriage and sat down in two empty seats.“What’s she done this time?” Sasori sighed. “Bitten a chunk out of your dick?” “No.”“Sore subject, huh?” Sasori smirked.  “Hopefully not literally.”Pain groaned and rolled his eyes. “Ugh, shut up.”“Fine, fine. What’s the problem?” Sasori sat up and gave Pain his full attention, legs crossed, chin propped on his hand.“Okay,” Pain began, then sighed, bracing himself. “So, I’ve told Konan I love her like five times now...”Sasori whistled. “That many, huh? And you started dating… what, three weeks ago? That’s nearly twice a week. You’ve been busy.” Pain rolled his eyes, carrying on. “Regardless, she hasn’t said it back yet. And that’s okay!” he added, raising his hands. “If she needs more time, fine, if… “ He rubbed his chin. “If she doesn’t feel that strongly about me yet, that’s also okay, I mean like you said, we’ve only just started dating… Actually, maybe I’m the one being weird…” he trailed off.Sasori raised a delicate eyebrow. “Um… yeah, maybe. But, y’know… you do you.”“I mean, like I said, it’s totally okay!” “Your mouth is saying it’s okay, but your face is giving kicked puppy.”Pain rubbed the back of his head. “Well… I mean…”Sasori sighed and crossed his arms. “So, basically, you fell fast and hard, and now you’re wondering if maybe she fell softer?”Pain bit the inside of his cheek, quiet for a second; he didn’t like how Sasori had summarized the situation, but he wasn’t exactly wrong. “Kinda,” Pain said a little grudgingly.Sasori watched him for a moment, chewing his thumb.“What?” Pain asked.Sasori raised his eyebrows. “You really fell for her that fast?”Pain exhaled through his nose and bobbed his head. “Yep. She’s that fucking easy to fall in love with, man. Before I knew it, I…” He shook his head and shrugged.Sasori gave him a sharp-edged grin. “My condolences. This is why I go for sulky dickheads who pretend to hate my guts: more resistance.”“ …You fell just as hard if not harder, and definitely faster, ” Pain retorted.Sasori raised his hands: you got me. Pain laughed.“Okay, back to it,” Sasori said, clapping his hands together. “You’ve said I love you several times, and she says.. I just like you as a friend? I appreciate you?”Pain shook his head. “No, she hasn’t said anything, is the thing.”“What do you mean? She just stares blankly at you?”“No…” Pain raked a hand through his hair, thinking. “She’ll kiss me, or something. Like, I engraved ‘I love you’ on the back of her Christmas gift, and I know she saw it, but she didn’t say anything about it when she read it, just said thank you.” Sasori nodded slowly. “Okay…”“Yeah, and on New Year’s Eve,” Pain continued, "We did the countdown together, and I said ‘I love you’, and she said–”“I know?”“...She said ‘Happy New Year’.”Sasori winced. “Oof. Did she say anything after?”“Nope.”“ Ooof. You haven’t asked her about it?”“No…”  Pain rubbed his jaw again, not fully meeting Sasori’s gaze. “It feels kind of needy, somehow. I don’t want her to feel like I’m putting a lot of expectations on her, but… At the same time, I just think it’s weird that she hasn’t said anything about it, y’know?”Sasori snorted. “Okay, well setting that aside a sec, you’re saying it because you love her and you want to say it right?Pain felt the back of his neck heating up but shrugged and nodded. “Yeah.”Sasori gave him an ironic look. “Uh- huh. And does your feeling that way about her depend on her saying it back to you?”Pain, seeing where he was going. sighed and leaned back in his chair, folding his arms across himself, suddenly very aware of himself as a teenager, acting like a teenager. “I mean, no, but… it would be nice to get a read on how she feels about me since we’re going out! ”Sasori massaged the crease between his eyebrows like he was fending off wrinkles. “Yeah. Right. Do you have any reason to think she doesn’t want to be with you, or doesn’t care about you very much?Pain kicked the toe of his Converse against the plastic base of Sasori’s seat. “Aside from this, no.”Sasori gave a one-shoulder shrug. “Maybe she just has a hangup about it?”“Could be.”“Well your two options are to ask her about it, or just be patient and wait.”Pain tipped his head back against the seat and groaned. He’s probably right. I hate it when he’s right. “But you do think it’s weird, right?” he asked.Sasori clicked his tongue impatiently. “Um, yeah, it’s fucking weird she hasn’t even acknowledged that you’ve been saying it.”“Thank you!” Pain burst out, super loud. “I knew I wasn't crazy!!”“Jury’s still out,” came Kisame’s voice faintly from the next carriage.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

As much fun as she had had over the winter break, Konan was hugely relieved to finally return to school. For one thing, she was able to wash and return all the hoodies and sweatpants she had been borrowing for the others, and wear her own clothes again. For another, having a bathroom that locked was nice, plus having her own room and space. Sleeping in the same bed as Pain has been fun, and exciting, but particularly as she was an only child, she found she was used to having a certain amount of personal space, and she had missed it. In gym class, they were starting on a rugby unit, which had elicited an enormous groan from the students when Guy had made the announcement. The weather had been consistently cold, rainy or snowy, and the ground outside more often than not was either rock-hard with frost, or a field of slippery mud.In drawing class, they started a portraiture unit. Konan and Pain partnered together, which initially Konan thought would be really fun, but as she worked on her second oil pastel portrait and kept having to ask him to look at her, she realized with a slight start that he hadn’t been meeting her gaze properly for a few days.Once she noticed, it was hard not to; at lunch he would talk with her and laugh at her jokes as usual, but mostly looked down at his plate, or would kind of look at her but his eyes would be lowered. They were spending more time watching movies and TV episodes together rather than talking. And considering how enthusiastic Pain had been, Konan found it a little odd he hadn’t initiated anything sexy, or even any making out since they’d been back. She found herself seeking out his gaze, trying to catch his eye more often, calling his name more than she would normally when catching up to him in the hallway or asking if he wanted more coffee, trying to make him meet her eyes.It reminded her of the period last term, where he had been avoiding her gaze and avoiding spending time alone with her while he was getting repeat detentions for fighting. Konan decided to just monitor the situation and give him some space for a bit. In spite of that decision, she still found herself trying to cheer him up, trying to be funnier than usual, kinder than usual. Nothing seemed to help, though. He’d smile, thank her, give her a one-armed hug, briefly kiss the top of her head, but when she’d look up at him, try to catch his eye, he’d already have turned away.Sitting up late at night, chewing her thumbnail as she worried about it, Konan had narrowed down what could be bothering him. For one thing, she was still waiting on the top up to her account from Holly so she could pay him back for the train tickets and everything he had paid for over the holidays. She was checking her account every day and had made several phone calls, but Holly had said she was busy and it would be coming, then refused to answer any more calls. The second idea she had was that something totally unrelated was bothering him – a family issue, maybe, that he didn’t feel comfortable telling her about. This was probably the most concerning to her, but if he didn’t want to share it with her, she didn’t want to push him.The third thing, that she wasn’t as confident about as a reason, was that Pain wanted to have sex with her, or possibly was feeling rejected because she hadn’t initiated anything lately…
Although, that’s just because he’s been so gloomy, I figured he wouldn’t want to do anything… 
A few days later, on Saturday morning, she woke up early, got breakfast in a to-go bag, and headed to their place by the curved tree. She sent him a text message.
Meet me at our spot?
It was quite cold, and she had drunk half her coffee and was cursing herself for not wearing gloves when Pain joined her, his footsteps crunching in the thin layer of snow across the floor of the clearing.“Hey,” she said, passing him the other coffee and the bag of bagels, which had unfortunately cooled a bit. “Thanks,” he murmured, taking a sip of the coffee. “What’s up?”She watched him hesitate for a second before leaning against a tree rather than sitting next to her on the curved bough of their usual pine tree. She bit her lips, absorbing the tiny stab of chill disappointment.“I finally got the transfer, so I can pay you back. I’m sorry for the delay, and I’m sorry if that’s been bothering you.” She pulled out an envelope from her pocket and stepped forward, handing it to him. He opened it, blinking in surprise at the three hundred in cash inside.“I thought I’d better not do a direct transfer, what with… this and that,” she said, shrugging, knowing she didn’t have to specify.“This is too much money, Konan,” Pain said, passing her back one of the fifties.“No, it’s okay! Keep it,” she said. “It’s as an apology, because I know you’ve been stressed about that, and I’m really, really sorry it took so long. It wasn't that I had forgotten, I just had to wait for a transfer to come through, but I totally get why this was bothering you!"Pain just stared at her. “Was… was it not that?” she asked awkwardly, now having a horrible feeling she was doing everything wrong. “I thought maybe you were kind of annoyed with me about that… or is it that, uh, you… you want us to go all the way?” she asked, scuffing the toe of her boot on the ground. “Like, the next step, I guess? Because if it is, I mean, I get it, I know I’m making you wait... And especially since you've done it before, probably it's annoying to have to wait a long time, just because it's my first time?"Judging from Pain’s expression, that wasn’t it either.He rubbed his mouth, which had tightened into a thin line and put his hands on his hips, turning away for a second and shaking his head.“Konan, I don’t want your money, and I don’t just want to sleep with you either. What kind of fucking piece of shit do you think I am!?”Konan stared at him, her face hot. Her lips moved but her mind was totally blank for a second before she stuttered, “I… I don’t think you’re a piece of shit!”“Really?” Pain asked, anger in every tense line of his face, eyebrows raised at her. “Because the reasons you’ve come up with for why I’d be annoyed with you are ridiculously insulting. You do get that, right?”Konan could feel her heart thudding in her chest as she stared at him. “Oh,” she said faintly, digging her nails into her palms.   “You know what?” Pain shook his head. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Could you just… give me some space? I’m a bit fucking pissed off with you at the moment.”He chucked the envelope of money back at her, turned on his heel, and stormed out of the clearing, leaving Konan to stare after him, feeling like the biggest piece of shit in the world.—Konan shut herself in her room for the rest of the day, skipping meals and even barricading Sasori out of her room, pushing her bookcase in front of the door. She lay on her bed, sulking, glaring at the ceiling, and hate-watching stupid shit on Youtube, trying to numb out her brain.The next morning, in only a marginally better mood, she woke up early again to avoid everyone else, pulled on her boots and thick coat, and took herself off to the lake to walk around moodily, listening to The Pretty Reckless and chuntering under her breath. Around 2pm, Deidara texted to ask where she was.K: The lake. Wanna come hang out? D: Sure. Want grilled cheese? K: Yes pwease :3 D: …… sardines it is… K: Nooo my grilled cheeese!! Deidara found her forty minutes later, sitting on the same boulder where she’d watched Sasori run towards him across the shoreline last fall. She waved him over.“Yay, my grilled cheese!” she cried, unwrapping the tinfoil parcel he’d tossed her and taking a big bite. “Thank you!”“You’re welcome,” he grinned, shoving her over on the boulder to join her. “You wanna talk about why you’re fighting with Pain?”Konan frowned at him, cheeks bulging with cheesy bread. “How do you know we’re in a fight?”Deidara rolled his eyes. “Konan, everybody knows. For one thing, you barricaded the door so Sasori couldn’t get in, and he was complaining about that all day yesterday–”“Drama queen,” Konan muttered.“True,” Deidara agreed, “But that’s besides the point. Anyway, you didn’t shut him out because you were with Pain, because he was very obviously in his room alone, and in a bad mood, slamming the door and playing his mopey emo music super loud all day.”Konan scoffed and rolled her eyes, ignoring the surge of guilt in her stomach. “What a baby.”“...Not disputing that either," Deodara shrugged. "Anyway, he’s been biting everyone’s heads off, and Sasori keeps implying he knows why you’re fighting and it’s annoying, so I came to find you to see if you wanted to talk about it, hm..”“Oh. Well, thanks,” Konan said grudgingly through her mouthful of sandwich. It wasn’t hot anymore, but was still pretty good, particularly after a couple hours of sitting still with the lakeside breeze cutting at her face.“For sure,” Deidara grinned. “I owe you one, anyway.”Konan swallowed and shook her head. “Nah.” She took another bite of sandwich. “So, why does the all-knowing oracle Sasori think we’re fighting?” she asked, half-grouchy, half-curious.Deidara shrugged. “Well, he says it’s because you haven’t said ‘I love you’ yet, even though Pain has…”Deidara trailed off as Konan started coughing, choking on a crumb she had inhaled on a gasp.“Wait, what!?” Konan asked, eyes streaming, when she could breathe again. “That’s it? Is that actually what he’s so mad about!?”Deidara frowned at her. “Don’t you know what’s mad about? You’re the one he’s fighting with!”“Okay, to be fighting with someone, I think both people have to know what the problem is!” Konan burst out angrily. “How was I supposed to know that was the problem!?”Deidara raised an eyebrow. “Woah, woah, so what did you think the fight was about?”“I don’t know!!” Konan exclaimed. “He just got all pissed off with me yesterday, and still didn’t say what was wrong!”“Okay, okay,” Deidara said in a surprisingly soothing voice, like he was trying to calm a horse. “Ignore that for a second. First, tell me about the ‘I love you’ thing. Is it true he’s said it to you already?”Konan stared across the slushy, partly-frozen lake, feeling her insides twist guiltily. “I mean…  Yes.”“Wow, okay. And have you said it back?”Konan flushed. “I guess… not, no.”Deidara nodded. “Cool, totally fair.” They sat in silence for a few seconds.“Have you guys… talked about that, at all?” Deidara asked, a little awkwardly.Konan frowned. “Uh… no.”Deidara pulled off a piece of her grilled cheese and popped it in his mouth, crossing his legs and facing her. “Huh. Tell me about that, hm.”Konan rubbed a finger across the rough surface of the boulder, biting the inside of her cheek. “I mean… there’s not a lot else to say about it. He gave me this necklace as an early Christmas present,” she said, pulling the silver chain free from the neck of her sweater and showing Deidara the flower charm. “And it says ‘I love you’ on the back.”“Cute.”“Yeah, I love it. But… so that was when we’d been together for maybe a week. ”“Woah.”“Yeah, exactly!” Konan burst out. “I don’t see how he could expect me to know that I loved him after a week, that’s crazy.”“100% agree,” Deidara said, helping himself to another bite of grilled cheese.“I dunno, I kind of thought he meant that more figuratively, or in a friend way. But then, he said it out loud other times,” Konan continued, “Like, we’ve still only been dating a couple weeks! And the more often he says it, it’s like the more pressure is on me, but I didn’t realize he was like, keeping track or that it was bothering him… I just…” Konan trailed off, feeling Deidara’s eyes on her.“Does it stress you out or something, that he’s saying he loves you so fast?”Konan chewed her thumbnail, stalling. “Um… A little bit. It’s like, he doesn’t necessarily know me that well, and also, I guess it feels kinda fast to know you feel that strongly.”Deidara nodded and shrugged. “I mean, makes sense to me. So, it’s a bit soon for you to say it back, right?”“Right. I mean… I guess I don’t really… know…” Konan trailed off as a handful of memories floated up in her mind, blending together like tracings laid one over the other.—-
“Miss, do I have to write this in the card?” Konan raised her hand, swaying on the child-size wooden chair.

Miss Shimizu walked over, her leaf green skirt swaying around her calves. “You can do it, Konan. I know you can spell that, those are simple words for a smart girl like you. L-O-V–”

“Do I have to? I don’t say that, it’s weird.”

Miss Shimizu blinked down at her as Konan held up the yellow construction paper heart.

“We put ‘I love you’ on Father’s Day cards, Konan.”

“Can I just do ‘Happy Father’s Day’?”

“This is a day to share how you feel about your father, to let him know you love him.”

“O-kay,” Konan said slowly, not convinced. “Is he giving me a card?”

“Maybe on your birthday,” Miss Shimizu said, squatting down so she was eye-level with Konan. “But even if he doesn’t, remember that both your parents love you very much.”

“How do you know?”

“All parents love their children, Konan.”

—

“Do you like this movie, sweetie?”

“Yeah.”

“Just this part?”

Konan shook her head, but pressed the rewind button again. She was laying in bed, squeezed in next to her mother, watching Mulan on the fold-out hospital TV.

She pressed play, and Fa Zhou pulled Mulan into a hug.
‘The greatest gift and honor is having you for a daughter.’
Konan pressed rewind again.

“One more time?”

—

“Konan, don’t say that.”

Konan backed away from her father’s desk, hands behind her back, eyes on the card and gold-wrapped present she had just set down on it. It took a second for her to register what he’d said.

“Pardon?”

Her father closed his laptop and turned his chair to look out the window at the unobstructed view of the clear sky, purpling with dusk.

“I’m touched that you feel that way. But it’s not done, to say that aloud. It’s low class.”

“Low class?” Konan shifted from foot to foot in her shiny black Mary Janes. They were new, to be worn to the restaurant booked for her father’s birthday, and they were stiff.

“People like us have no need for that,” her father continued, one finger circling the rim of his whiskey glass. “Love is not a helpful emotion, Konan. It breeds weakness. It can stay the hand when the better decision would be to strike. It clouds the mind, hamstrings dispassionate reason and strategy.”

He turned his chair back and stood, setting his glass down and adjusting his cufflinks as he walked towards her. His cool hand fell on her back and began to guide her out of the room, leaving the card and gift untouched on the desk.

“It is not something you will need to delude yourself with, my girl,” he said, his dark eyes meeting hers briefly before rising to tap his security code on the smooth panel by the door, automatically closing the blinds and turning off the lights. “Commoners prattle on about it, make movies and songs and a lot of noise about it, to disguise their own failings, their inability to rise above their circumstances, to be a player of the game. They are irrelevant, and so they pretend to have the moral high ground, when really they have nothing at all.”

He smoothed his hair in the mirror by the door and checked his watch. “It’s not something you should expect to feel in life, Konan, so put it from your mind and keep it out of your mouth.” His black eyes met hers. “Respect me, obey me, appreciate what I do for you. There is no need for anything else.”

He opened the door, and Konan walked out.

—
Konan bit the inside of her cheek, feeling a wave of shame and irritation.
That has nothing to do with this, though, right?
“I thought it was a bit soon to say, it, yeah,” she said vaguely, still a little zoned out. “I think, like, obviously I knew he was saying it, and I wasn’t, but I barely had time to figure out whether or not I love him yet, and like, build up to saying it back. But I do love him, I’m sure, and so now I guess I’m waiting for the right moment but there’s a lot of pressure…“Okay,” Deidara said, frowning like she was making no sense, but nodding to show he was listening. “So, that’s what you’re fighting about? Because he wanted you to talk to him about it, or say it too?”“Uh… not really. I think I have to apologize to him, honestly, but like what was I supposed to think…” Konan trailed off, muttering.“What happened?”Konan sighed angrily, scraping her boots on the boulder. “Well, because he didn’t tell me he was feeling annoyed or sad or whatever about the ‘I love you’ thing, I thought he was mad at me because I still owed him money from winter break, or maybe it was because I’m waiting a bit more to go all the way, so I gave him money, and then I asked if it was because I want to wait to have sex, and—”Deidara gasped and clapped his hands to his face. “KONAN!” he half-yelled, half-groaned, shutting her up. “What?” she asked, genuinely surprised.“You did not do that! Are you serious?”Konan felt her cheeks getting warm, her temper rising again. “ What? ” she repeated hotly. “It’s not my fault he didn’t say anything and I had to guess!”“Whether or not he said anything about it, the guy has said he loves you three or four times, got nothing from you about it, and then you basically called him a stingy horndog!”“No, I didn’t!”“You thought he was pissed off about either sex or money, right?”Konan gaped at him, fumbling for words. “Or… or something else…”Deidara pressed his hands together and propped his chin on his thumbs, closing his eyes and taking a breath before speaking again, like he was gathering patience. “I know this isn’t exactly my area of expertise or anything, Konan, and I know I don’t have any fuckin’ moral high ground here, but don’t you think he was probably feeling insecure or something because you haven’t said you love him back, or talked to him if you need more time to say it? If it were you, wouldn’t you be looking for some kind of reassurance?”Konan’s shoulders lowered as she started feeling tinges of shame again. “Um… yeah, probably.”“I know he didn’t spell it out for you and ask,” Deidara continued, “But people hardly ever do that. So now you’re fighting because instead of understanding what he might be thinking, you took a couple stabs in the dark that hurt his feelings, hm.”Konan sat silently for a few seconds, a huge weight in her stomach.
I am the biggest jerk on the planet…
“Well… well, he didn’t say that!” she repeated lamely, with no conviction.Deidara gave her a half-pitying, half-ironic smile. “Konan, like 90% of my fights with Sasori have been about shit I didn’t ask him about or didn’t tell him about.” He shrugged and leaned back on his hands. “The difference is, I kinda get off on chaos, and Sasori bounces back quickly. Neither of those are true for you and Pain.”Konan stared at him, digging a nail into her thumb. “What should I do?”Deidara stretched and yawned. “Easiest solution’s usually the best, so I’d start with apologizing.”—A few hours later, Konan was back at the sitting tree where she’d argued with Pain the day before. After her conversation with Deidara, she had taken the bus to the village and sat in a café, writing a letter to Pain. She’d purchased a box of doughnuts she knew he liked, bussed back to school, slid the letter under his door, and was now sitting on the thick curved branch of the tree, leaning against the trunk, box of doughnuts held to her chest, wondering if Pain had found and read the letter yet. If he hadn’t, she wondered how long she should sit and wait, as it would be getting dark in a couple hours, and it wasn’t exactly warm out. If he had, she wondered the same thing, except with an extra helping of anxiety in case she had hurt him so badly he would never forgive her and was at this moment planning to break up with her as soon as she stepped foot back into the dorm.She ended up following that train of thought down a rabbit hole that included a huge fight in front of all of her friends, Sasori ceremoniously breaking a friendship bracelet he had been going to give her, the others all evicting her from the dorm and throwing her stuff out the window, and Pain ripping the flower necklace he had given her from her neck, telling her she was unloveable, cruel, and stupid and he could never be with someone so insensitive.Just as she’d reached that happy thought, Konan jumped as she heard footsteps through the trees and the crunching of frost underfoot.She sat, tense and anxious, as she watched Pain walking towards her, picking his way around the trees, his hands in his pockets.Konan bit her lower lip, trying to tell from his expression if he was still angry. His serious face split into a smiled, and he turned his head and laughed as he got closer, stopping a few feet away.“Are you nervous?” he asked knowingly.The knot of tension in Konan’s stomach loosened a bit, just at the sound of his warm voice, back to normal, no longer hard with anger.“A bit,” she replied.Pain laughed again, shaking his head at her. “Yeah right, ‘a bit’! You look like you’re expecting the sky to fall down on you!”Konan smiled weakly. “I’m not allowed to be nervous?”Pain took another few steps towards her, hands in his pockets, smiling. “No, you are. It’s just cute.”Konan bit her lip, watching as he walked closer. He slid his hands out of his pockets, putting them on the branch either side of her. “Are you still angry with me?”He gave her a small grin and shook his head. “No.”She leaned in tentatively for a kiss, but he dodged, smirking, and kissed her forehead instead, slipping the bakery box from her arms. “I am gonna take this box of apology doughnuts, though.”Konan smiled, relief loosening her shoulders.“And…” Pain said, tucking her hair behind her ear and cupping her face, bending in. “You’re gonna come meet my family at spring break. Deal?”“Deal,” Konan grinned, pulling him in by his jacket for a kiss.—
Dear Pain,

I’m really, really sorry for what I said. I didn’t get it at the time, but I understand now that I really hurt your feelings. I was really insensitive to how you were feeling, and I’m sorry. I personally had been worried about owing you money, and I think I’m anxious about going all the way, so I kind of projected those worries onto you instead of understanding how you were feeling and what you might have been worried about. I’m sorry.

Thank you for telling me you love me. I hadn’t not noticed you saying it, and I wasn’t consciously trying to avoid or deflect it, but I realize now that that’s what I was doing. I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I did, and I’m sorry.
The words ‘I love you’ aren’t something that I grew up saying, or hearing from other people, or that I’ve ever said to somebody. It was actually kind of discouraged in my family. I hadn’t realized I might hear those words from you so soon, or that I might be able to say them so soon, so I hadn’t been thinking about it, or rather, I had but it was with anxiety and not excitement, as it should have been. Because I know those words should mean a lot, I was scared of not being totally sure when I could say them and fully, 100% know I was in love and had no doubts. So, in the end, I tried not to think about it even though this was selfish and hurt you. I’m sorry.
I know it’s late, and I’m sorry to have this at the end of an apology letter, but I don’t want to make you wait any longer. And I do, 100% mean it.

I love you, too.

P.S. If you are still mad at me, that’s okay. Please meet me at our spot to talk. If you forgive me, please also meet me at our spot.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The rest of January passed smoothly. Hidan and Kakuzu had been true to their offer to teach Konan to fight, and had been sparring with her after classes, in what they charitably described as a ‘warm-up’ for their own fights at the club in town. When Pain had the evening free, he sometimes swung by the gym to watch and cheer. Konan was also getting more motorbike practice in, riding on the road with Pain when it was deserted late at night.They had physical examinations at the end of the month. For the most part, it seemed like a set of self-recorded fitness tests -– how many push-ups can you do in a minute, how many sit-ups, how many squats; running from one end of the gym to the other between increasingly fast beeps until you dropped out — but they ended with a one-on-one physical exam from a nurse or doctor. The staff had organized it so that the students headed into the gym grouped by year. All the fourth and fifth years headed in at the end of the period right before lunch, lining up against the wall. Booths with crisp sheet dividers had been set up across the gym. Konan saw Shizune, and a couple other nurses, presumably contracted for the day to help with the exams, flipping over charts on clipboards and typing on laptops.“What kind of stuff do they measure?” Konan whispered to Kisame as they waited their turn.“Just year-on-year stuff,” he replied. “Weight, height, cursory check for injuries, illness, vaccines if you need them, blah blah.”“Oh, okay.”When Konan’s name was called, she headed into the available divided segment and sat in the waiting chair, holding her hands together a little nervously. She didn’t love interacting with doctors, even though she’d had to do it so much. Usually she was stuck with the same guy who her dad seemed to love, and he always had the same assistant, a kind of annoying, mild-mannered assistant with silver hair……who was the very guy in the white lab coat currently turning around to face her, holding a clipboard.“Hi Konan. Good to see you.”“Kabuto!” Konan burst out, surprised.Kabuto held up a finger. “Please be quiet, Konan, so you don’t disturb others.”Konan frowned at him as he flipped through her file and started running a finger across a line of syringes, ready on his desk. “What are you doing here?”He lifted one half of his mouth in a smile. “I am a healthcare professional, Konan, and I was contracted for the task. Now, please remove your clothes and put this on.”He passed her a thin blue dressing gown. Konan took it, frowning suspiciously. “Where should I change?”“There’s a divider you can step behind,” he said mildly, pointing at it. Konan walked around it, raising an eyebrow, but obeyed and began to change. Kinda wish this had an actual door , but I guess that’s too much to ask for. Once she was barefoot and wearing the tunic, Kabuto gestured to a scale with an attached height ruler. Konan sighed and stepped on the scale, closing her eyes as Kabuto adjusted the metal ruler, brushing against the top of her head to measure her height.“How’s your diet?” he asked, scribbling on his clipboard.“Fine. Lots of veggies. Blah blah,” Konan replied in a bored voice. “Hmm. How many calories per portion?”Konan glanced at him, frowning. “Shouldn’t the school have that information? I eat in the cafeteria.”“Right, we’ll be pulling that data,” Kabuto muttered, as if to himself.“Are you sharing this stuff with my dad?” Konan asked suspiciously.“It saves you a special trip for your check-up, now doesn’t it?” Kabuto said with a small smile, stepping over to her, holding a tape measure. “Otherwise, my colleague would be the one doing this.”“Ugh,” Konan said, closing her eyes and raising her arms as Kabuto measured her hips, waist, chest, arms, thighs, ankles, and head circumference. “I hate that guy.”“You still have undersized breasts for this stage of your anticipated development,” Kabuto murmured, pushing his glasses further up his face. “Gee, thanks,” Konan said sarcastically, folding her arms. She didn’t know anybody else with a family doctor, so she couldn’t compare notes, but she hoped other people’s didn’t make comments like that all the time.“Wait, how do you know I go here?” she asked after a while, remembering Holly saying it was a secret.Kabuto sat down on his rolling chair and tapped quickly into his laptop. “Hop up on the table.”Konan obeyed, rolling her eyes. “Are you gonna answer the question?”Kabuto just smiled again. The warmth never reached his eyes.“I have access to the relevant data allowing your medical team access to you when necessary to monitor and improve your physical condition, Konan,” he said smoothly. “Now, lie back, and open your knees.”“Excuse me!?” Konan squeaked.“You’re scheduled for a Pap smear. It’s a standard medical procedure.”Konan gritted her teeth, glaring up at the ceiling and breathing through her nose in angry bursts as Kabuto’s cold gloved hands felt around her labia, poking and prodding, and then inserted a very cold speculum. “Are you sexually active?” came Kabuto’s voice from between her legs.“Uh…” Konan frowned, distracted by the horrible cramp-like ache in her lower abdomen as Kabuto opened the speculum and poked at her with some kind of long tool. “Nope.”
Better not say a damn thing I don’t want my dad hearing about. 
“You’ve got a hormonal IUD. Still working well for you?”Konan winced; whatever Kabuto was doing, it was really uncomfortable. It felt like an intense period cramp “Yeah, fine. I mean, I’m not pregnant, so...”“How could you be, if you’re not sexually active?”“Uh… divine conception?” Konan asked, taking a stab at a joke, but Kabuto didn’t laugh, or even act like he’d heard her.Kabuto had been the one to talk her into the IUD a year ago, ostensibly to ease the intense pain she got with her periods.“Good, good. Well, it’s still in place of course. Okay, all done with that.”He slapped a gloved hand on her calf, and Konan lowered her legs.“Bloodtests and vaccines,” Kabuto said with a smile, rolling his chair back over to the laptop.“Oh, goody” Konan said sarcastically, eyeing the array of needles waiting for her on a silver tray.—“What the heck happened to you?” Deidara asked, waving her over as she caught up to the others, already half-way through their lunch.“Medical exams,” Konan said with a shrug, setting her tray down between him and Pain.“Everybody else finished like half an hour ago, though,” Pain said, rubbing her back and frowning slightly. “I thought maybe you were feeling sick?”Konan shook her head. “No, but there were so many tests and shots, and then I got prescribed new vitamins and stuff.. ““What shots? And who the hell is prescribing you anything?” Deidara asked, popping a fry into his mouth. “You just get weighed, they measure your height, listen to your heart and lungs and get you out of there.”Konan sighed, spearing a piece of steamed cauliflower onto her fork. “Well, I had some doctor my dad knows, and he usually does a whole load of tests and shit, so I guess he took the opportunity.” She shifted uncomfortably; the Pap smear had not been her favourite experience.Pain dropped his fork. “Wait, what?” “What?”“One of your dad’s doctors gave you an exam!? Here? ”Konan nodded. “I mean, he sorta handwaved how he found out about the medical exams, but he didn’t really do anything weird. Just the usual, like blood tests, vaccines, measuring… I got a new prescription… oh, and he did a Pap smear, which sucked… ”“You’re not supposed to get that til you’re twenty five,” Hidan said casually, gnawing on his baked potato. In response to the looks of general astonishment this interruption had prompted, he said, “What? I know shit. I watch House. ”“Well, fine, that’s weird, but the other stuff is just what he always does,” Konan shrugged. Spotting the crease between Pain’s eyebrows and the tension in his jaw, she rubbed a hand over his shoulders and smiled. “I’m fine, it’s nothing to worry about.”A week later, Konan’s new prescription came via Shizune, who informed her it was apparently to treat an underactive thyroid, which Kabuto had, in his usual manner, failed to mention. Konan took it, but didn’t notice any difference. Pain said her face looked thinner after a couple weeks, but that was about it. She figured it wasn’t doing any harm, and generally decided to put the whole thing out of her mind. She had much more important things to think about now, namely that Valentine’s Day was fast approaching.This was a Very Big Deal for two central reasons, and several ancillary reasons. Firstly, it was her very first Valentine’s Day when she had an actual valentine to worry about, and she was super excited. Secondly, she had decided it would be a good day to lose her virginity with Pain. She hadn’t been waiting to go all the way with him for any particular, specific reason, just until she felt ready, and she was pretty sure she did. The fact of the matter was it was getting harder and harder for her to hit the brakes when they got really into 69’ing or fingering or a blowjob and not just say, ‘fuck it, let’s have sex.’ However, it was her first time, and she was determined to make it as romantic as possible.   The ancillary reasons that Valentine’s Day was a big deal this year were that once again, the school was hosting a themed dance, plus rosegrams where you could send a rose to somebody you liked, and everyone had to make themed decorations (again).Tsunade herself had made the announcement about the decoration projects, primarily, it seemed by the amount of time she spent on it, to stamp down on anyone’s burgeoning ambitions of putting up naked statues around the school, which seemed to have been an issue in previous years.“I don’t care if cupids generally are portrayed as being naked, I don’t care that traditional life drawing and much sculpture work is of the nude form, I don’t care how horny you little cretins are,” she roared from the assembly stage, narrowing her eyes at them, “There will be no giant peni in my school this year!!”  Konan turned to stare at Sasori and Deidara, who were sitting next to her and shaking with silent laughter. “What happened last year!?” she whispered in disbelief, but their response was cut off by another yell from Tsunade.“I don’t care if you’re celebrating female pleasure either, there will be no vulva wall, and no giant titties either!!”  Konan had (for once) got a head start on her decoration project, and her hallway full of hanging origami hearts and stars in various shades of red and pink was nearly finished. The dress code for the Valentine’s dance was red, pink, white, or themed, and in the name of putting her best foot forward for seducing Pain, she was planning to go as a pink sexy bunny, in a nod to her and Deidara’s old mindmap of ways to get him to notice her. She’d sewed herself some ears and a tail, and was working on a boned pink bustier. Her main source of stress in the weeks leading up to the 14th was the main event – losing her virginity.Whenever she had a spare moment, she was making lists of things she needed to have prepared or to think about. She’d made several draft playlists, ranging in mood from sweet, to moody R&B, to love-lasts-forever-and-requires-a-screaming-chorus-of-desperate-passion, to full-on fuck-me-now. Whenever she had a second to zone out she was thinking about what underwear to wear, what to say, whether she should lay a towel down.Which is how she almost got hit in the head with a rugby ball when she wasn’t paying attention in gym class.“Heads up!” someone called out. Konan turned in time to see the ball zooming towards her through the blur of pouring rain, directly at her face. Before she could even start to duck, a hand shot out of nowhere and caught it. “Close one,” came a mellow voice from her side. Konan looked around to see Yūdachi, a boy she rarely talked to, toss the ball in the air before throwing it back down the field. He had shaggy brown hair, tanned skin, and a scar on his cheek.“Thanks,” she said distractedly, tucking a loose piece of hair behind her ear.“You should pay more attention,” he said over his shoulder as he turned away, “Otherwise you’ll get hurt.”Konan laughed. “I’ll try.”Yūdachi jogged leisurely back over to the scrum. Konan gave herself a little shake – the adrenaline of nearly getting a broken nose was only just hitting her as her brain caught up to what happened.“You okay?” Pain called as he came over, splattered with mud, one leg of his shorts hiked high on his thighs Konan grinned at him. “Hey, cutie,” she said teasingly, tugging at the leg of his shorts, making him laugh. “Yeah, I’m fine.”“Good,” he said, looping an arm around her neck and kissing her forehead. Konan didn’t think any more about the incident until the following class, when she had the ball for once, and was sprinting down the field, mud spattering her shins, looking to her left to see if she could pass to Naruto, hearing Choji thundering on her heels, when Yūdachi came barrelling out of nowhere and tackled Choji to the ground. Guy blew his whistle as Yūdachi and Choji went sliding through the mud. After class, once Konan had showered and de-mudified herself, Sasori had sidled up to her.“That Yūdachi guy has saved you twice now. Think he likes you?”Konan snorted. “Pardon?” Sasori raised his eyebrows and shrugged, slinging an arm around her shoulders and glancing back at Pain, who was following them out of the gym. “Stranger things have happened.”“Gee, thanks,” she said sarcastically, and changed the subject.—Valentine’s day came faster than Konan expected, despite all her planning.She had several mood music playlists loaded onto her phone, with a speaker ready to go. She had purchased (with cash) a highly complicated lingerie set which she hoped she’d be able to figure out in time for a dramatic reveal. She had washed her sheets, made the bed, and smuggled rose petals out of the craft cupboard to sprinkle artfully across the duvet. She had a towel ready in case of bleeding, and had read and re-read all her favourite middle grade and YA books which had a first-time scene, plus several online guides for what to do and what to expect. She had taken a free condom and free lube packet from the dispenser outside of Shizune’s office and set them on her bedside table. She hadn’t managed to find a disco ball, but she had managed to borrow a set of pink and purple string lights from the theatre department for mood lighting.
In 24 hours I will have had sex! Goodbye virginity! I can no longer be sacrificed by dark forces to appease the gods! 
She had her costume all together – a pastel pink leotard and bustier over bright pink tights, with matching bunny ears, tail, and heels she had borrowed from Sakura. She put on blush, mascara, lipgloss, and clips with hearts on them. She was running late heading down to breakfast, and left her valentine’s card for Pain on her bed, figuring she would give it to him after classes. She plugged in the string lights, taking one last look at the set-up, a fizzy excitement in her stomach, before heading out the door and walking down to breakfast with Deidara, Itachi, and Sasori, laughing with them about how short Sasori was compared to her in her heels.Both of them had gone low-key with their Valentine’s outfits – Sasori was wearing a dark red button-up instead of his usual uniform shirt, and Deidara just had a silver bow and arrow set strapped to his back. They toured the school on their way down, stopping to admire the spooky beating hearts made of black thread Kakuzu had installed above the central staircase, and Sasori’s giant anatomical clockwork heart that hung in the lobby. Pain had made an impressive metal sculpture that showed the martyring of St. Valentine and functioned with a series of magnets. Itachi had set up shelves of dozens of ‘rose-coloured glasses’ that allowed the wearer to see secret messages written on the walls around the school – most of which were love sonnets, but some of which, hidden in bathroom stalls or behind the bleachers, were absolutely filthy erotica.When they got down to breakfast, it was to find that the cafeteria had been absolutely festooned with pink and red heart-shaped balloons, doilies, confetti, giant valentine candies, and paper flowers. “Ouch. My eyes,” Konan said, wincing at a hot pink balloon arch. “Oh, we’re just getting started,” Deidara sighed, turfing a fake dove out of his chair before sitting down. “Happy Valentine’s day,” Pain said to Konan as she sat down beside him, leaning over and kissing her cheek. He passed her a bouquet of wildflowers.“Pain, these are beautiful!” she gasped. “Thank you.”“Glad you like ‘em,” he said with a smile. “You’re a bunny girl?”“Yeah. I know it’s not very original,” she said with a shrug. “I just thought it would be fun.”She knew she wasn’t the only bunny girl in the school. She’d spotted Ino, Mei, and Karin earlier, all of whom were in leotards and tights, while Sakura, Hinata, and Tenten at least had gone the angel/cupid route with feathery wings.“Do you have a tail?” he asked teasingly.“Sure do!” She stood up, turned, and wiggled her hips as he laughed.“Oh, I have chocolates for you guys,” Konan said, digging her arm into her bag. She pulled out chocolate Kisses and passed them out. Since there was a box of chocolates waiting for Pain on her bed, she’d only brought six.“Did you guys send any rosegrams?” Kisame called down the table.“Yeah,” a few of them chorused back.“Oh, I forgot!” Konan exclaimed sadly.She had been so focused on everything she wanted to do after school, she had completely forgotten about them.“Sorry!” she whispered to Pain.He gave her an easy smile. “It’s all good!”“I do have something for y–” Konan was cut off by the arrival of Naruto, once again on holiday-gram delivery duty, this time dressed ridiculously as a baby cupid, complete with white towel loincloth, a laurel wreath in his yellow hair, golden bow, quiver, and heart-tipped arrows, plus a bag full of red roses with notecards attached.“Happy Valentine’s Day!” he cried, tossing confetti over their heads as he passed a rose each to Sasori, Deidara, Itachi, and Hidan, and two to Konan.“Ooh, Itachi’s got a secret admirer!” Kisame crowed, reading Itachi’s note over his shoulder before Itachi silenced him with a look.Sasori and Deidara were busy laughing at their Valentines, which they had evidently got for each other and filled with extremely dirty jokes.Hidan read his aloud: “Roses are red, violets are blue, I really wanna do bad things to you.”“Did you send that to yourself?” Kakuzu asked drily.Hidan chucked a tangerine at his head. “How fucking dare you!” he yelled, laughing with the others. “Stop casting fucking aspersions, I’m a fucking alluring piece of ass!!”Konan opened her two valentines, putting the roses in her water glass.The first was from Pain.
Dear Konan, Happy Valentine’s day! I am so fucking lucky that you’re my girlfriend. I love you to the moon and back. Pain.
“Thank you!” Konan beamed, leaning over and kissing him, sliding her hand into his hair until a chorus of groans and ‘get a room!’ from her friends made her pull back, laughing.“Who’s the other one from?” Sasori asked curiously.“You mean it’s not you?” Konan asked, teasing, but opened the card anyway. 
Happy Valentine’s day. You’re super hot. Text me if u want to be ate out til ur eyes roll back ;) Hanabi
Sasori choked on his coffee. “Hinata’s little sister!?”Konan glanced sideways at Pain, who raised his eyebrows back at her, then scanned the lunch hall until she caught the eye of a younger girl with straight black hair, wearing a black t-shirt, choker, and red devil wings. Hanabi waved and winked. Konan waved awkwardly back, aware her face was bright red.“Um… well, that was unexpected!” she said, folding both cards up and stowing them in her book bag as Pain stood up. “By the way, I have something for—” she began, but the bell for first class rang, and by the time it stopped, Pain had already slipped into the crowd.Over the course of the day, Naruto and his white loincloth were constantly popping into classrooms, handing out roses and valentines.To her bemusement, Konan ended up receiving three more valentines over the course of the day. Two were anonymous, and one was from someone she’d never heard of before, who turned out to be a short third year called Konohamaru. He called her a “spicy mama,” and once she’d read the valentine, waved at her in the hallway, asking if he could get her bra to show his friends. “Um, excuse me?” she yelped, staring down at him. He was a full head and a half shorter than her in her heels, and his voice was actively breaking so he sounded like a first grader’s recorder performance, but he looked up at her like he was Javier Bardem, Marlon Brando, and Idris Elbra rolled into one. He winked and flipped his long scarf over one shoulder. “You heard me, baby girl. Now pucker up those pretty lips and I’ll make all your dreams come tru– yargh !!” Kakuzu, who was passing with Pain, had yanked the end of his scarf, tightening it around his neck. His friends laughed and Konan skittered away from him after muttering an awkward apology, seriously not knowing how to handle such a weird kid.Konan had started to get serious second thoughts about dressing as a playboy bunny for the whole day. She’d really only done it for Pain, and because she thought it would be fun, but she hadn’t banked on the stares she was getting in the hallway, or the occasional wolf-whistle. Not that she was the only one. Valentine's Day seemed to have brought out the horndog in the majority of the student body. True to his own brag, Hidan was getting a lot of attention as he swaggered through the halls, completely shirtless, showing off his muscles, wearing a pair of lace-up red leather pants, which were apparently the entirety of his themed costume. Other girls and guys were whistling, smacking each other on the ass as they passed, and shouting pick-up lines and catcalls throughout the halls, only quieting under Tsunade’s crackling glare as she stalked the school, eyes apparently peeled for inappropriate costumes. Konan saw Kankuro getting dragged away by the ear, Tsunade screaming at him to change immediately, when she’d spotted the enormous wooden codpiece he was wearing.In the break between third and fourth period, Yūdachi caught up with her in the hall, pulling her to the side and smiling at her. “Hey, did you get my rose?”Konan blinked in confusion. “Oh, one of them was from you? Thank you…”He raised his eyebrows. “Wow. ‘One of them’? You’re popular.”Konan turned to look for her friends, scuffing her heel on the floor. “Um, not really.”Yūdachi leaned against the wall, arms folded. “Well, to reiterate, I think you’re cute.”“Oh… thanks…”“And you look hot today.” He poked one of her bunny ears. Konan grimaced awkwardly.“Er… thanks,” she repeated, not really sure what else to say, but not really on board with where the conversation was going.“You wanna go out with me on Saturday?”Unlike New Year’s Eve, this time Konan saw him coming; as Yūdachi had been talking, Pain had come walking toward them across the hall, hands in his pockets, eyebrows raised. Right as Konan was about to say ‘No, thank you,’ he leaned his shoulder right between them against the wall, his back to Konan, mirroring Yūdachi’s casual pose. His shoulder bag shoved Konan backwards and she stumbled back, frowning.“Sorry, man, she’s busy Saturday,” Pain said loudly. “She has plans with her boyfriend.”Konan caught Yūdachi’s unimpressed tone. “Ah. And I’m guessing you’re the boyfriend in question?”“Good guess.”“Right. Well, I’m pretty sure I was talking to her.” Yūdachi pointed around him at Konan.“Yeah. You were. For the very last fucking time.”Konan turned, leaning her back against the wall and rolled her eyes at the ceiling. 
All I wanted was a nice day, followed by a nice dance, followed by a romantic evening and Pain and I could finally go all the way and everything would go really well… 
Yūdachi laughed, apparently in disbelief. He leaned around Pain to look at Konan.“When you get bored of this guard dog routine, hit me up. I’ll show you a good time.”Konan and Pain watched in silence as he walked away. “What the hell was that?” Konan asked, arms folded across her chest as Pain turned around.He frowned down at her, taken aback. “Funny. I was about to ask you the same thing.”“What do you mean?” Konan asked, trying to keep her voice low as other students passed by.“Well, I can’t help but notice that you’ve been getting hit on a lot lately,” Pain said, ignoring Konan’s scoff. “And you never seem to mention me when it happens. Why don’t you want people to know you’re taken?”Konan’s irritation ratcheted up a notch, and she pushed away from the wall to stand straight, facing him. “Taken? I’m not a lamp at a garage sale!”Pain rolled his eyes impatiently. “Fine, you don’t want people to know that you have a boyfriend, then.”“Is all of this about you, or just the preliminary questions?” Konan hissed, trying again to lower her voice as she caught a couple sidelong glances from passersby.Pain ignored her. “Are you embarrassed of me?” he asked, his voice a challenge.“ What!? ” He shrugged, sticking his jaw out. “I don't think it’s a crazy thing to ask.”Konan took a startled step back, staring up at him. “Of course I’m not embarrassed of you, how can you even—”Pain folded his arms, leaning against the wall, getting more stubbornly casual as Konan stood straighter in her indignation. “You don’t want people to know we’re exclusive, then? Keeping your options open?”“No!” Konan snapped, forgetting to lower her voice.Pain raised an eyebrow. “Then what, you like the attention?” Konan’s jaw dropped and he pressed his advantage. “This fucking joker—” He jerked his head in the direction Yūdachi had left. “The others you got roses from, that guy buying you shots at the club—”“Hey!” Konan exclaimed, getting her breath back, glaring up at him. “I don’t know what kind of vapid narcissist you think I am—”Pain glared back, fingers digging into his folded arms. “I think you’re my girlfriend, but I don’t know if we’re on the same page about that!”Konan breathed hard through her nose, meeting his angry gaze, trying her best to understand, but too pissed off to really fire on all cylinders for the issue.“Do you not trust me, or something?” she asked.“I trust you!” Pain snapped back.“Well, it doesn’t feel like you do!”Pain growled, tipping his head back in frustration. Konan saw Ino and Sakura do a double-take as they passed, then start whispering together. She tried to ignore them.“How do you think it makes me feel when you get all these valentines, or when all these guys or fucking Hanabi asks you out and you don’t even bother to say no, I have a boyfriend? ”Konan stared up at him in disbelief. “I want people to leave me alone because I say no, not just because they’ll respect another guy. What the hell are you asking me to do, get your name tattooed on my face!?” she exclaimed, voice rising.Colour flooded Pain’s face and he took a deep breath, visibly trying to calm down. “Okay,” he said, more quietly. “I get that. But it still hurts when you act like I don’t fucking exist, and it hurts you’re pissed off at me for stepping in instead of the other fucking guy, and that you never tell anybody we’re dating.”Konan mouthed wordlessly for a second, hurt and angry and confused. “I am pissed off at him, and… Who exactly am I supposed to be telling!?” she asked, spreading her arms. “I barely talk to anybody except for you guys! Am I supposed to make a big announcement? Start a blog!? Do you want balloons!? Want me to wear an ‘I heart Pain’ t-shirt every day for the rest of my life!?”Pain made a face. “Don’t do that, I’m being serious.” He glanced away, then back at her, giving her a stormy, reluctant look from under his lashes. “Konan, sometimes you act like we’re still just friends.”She gazed up at him, scared all of a sudden, like the ground was sinking beneath her. “What are you talking about?”Pain shrugged, not meeting her eyes. “It’s Valentine’s day. I got you flowers and a card, and I wasn’t necessarily expecting anything in return, but when you gave chocolate to everyone else at the table, but not your boyfriend – yeah, I felt kinda hurt! I think that’s normal!”“I gave everyone dollar store Kisses, okay, it’s not like it was homemade fucking ganache! And I tried to explain, but you left before I could tell you! I was going to give you something later! I wanted it to be special! I was going to—” Konan cut herself off, looking away and swallowing, feeling an angry flush heating her face as she finished the sentence sarcastically in her head. 
I was gonna ask if you want to go all the way. Wow! Oh wow! I was gonna give you my ☆♡~virginity~♡☆ Sparkle emoji, glitter gif whatever. Fucking idiot.
“Okay, that aside,” she continued in a low voice, glaring up at him, “If you hadn’t barged in and basically peed in a circle around me like some kind of giant territorial dog back there—” Pain gave a huge eyeroll. “Come on, Konan, don’t—”“You’d have seen I was about to turn that guy down!” Konan continued, ignoring him. “I was gonna tell him no, and I was doing fine without your help, and it’s not my fault you’re so insecure!” she burst out.Pain raised his eyebrows, taken aback. “Yeah, cause you’re so good at that, telling people no,” he shot back after a pause, stung.Konan stared. She jerked back, withdrawing from him, giving him a disgusted look.Pain looked shocked. “Wait, Konan–”“Fuck off,” she snapped, turning her back on him.“I didn’t mean that, I meant—”Too angry to speak any more, Konan walked away.“Konan!”“Leave me alone!” She swung her bag closer over her shoulder and strode into the throng of students heading to their classes, trying to get as much space between her and Pain as possible.—Konan skipped fourth period. She stomped up to the dorm, slammed her door, ripped off the heels that were hurting her feet, and chucked them in the corner. She pulled on her boots and her parka, and ran back downstairs, peeling out the front door into the wet mist outside, with her earbuds blasting music and her hands shoved in her pockets. She spent half an hour furiously kicking rocks behind the bleachers, trying to avoid being seen by the first year gym class, who were a hundred feet away, miserably sliding through the mud clutching field hockey sticks. Eventually, she calmed down enough to reflect that she really wanted to talk to her mom. Not particularly optimistic about her mom actually picking up , she dialed the number, waited for the automated blurb, then put in the extension.As expected, it rang out. Konan tipped her head back and sighed, feeling the feather-light misting of the rain on her face, trying not to be too disappointed. 
Of course.
She re-dialed the main number, waiting for the front desk.“Heiwa Private Hospital, Long Term Care, how may I direct your call?”“Hi, I want to talk to Nao Ame, I’m her daughter. She didn’t answer her extension, so I just wanted to know if she’s busy, or when she’ll be back.”“Let me see…”Konan closed her eyes, pressing her back against the hard metal pole of the bleacher support beam. 
She’s not available, she’s not available.
“Hey, sweetie, it’s Konan, right?”“Yep.”“Your mother’s not available right now, I’m afraid. She’s just having a little routine procedure done, but she’ll be in recovery for a few days.”
Knew it.
“Okay, nevermind,” Konan said in a falsely bright voice.“Want to leave a message?”“Uh…”
Hey mom, you know that boyfriend you’ve never met? Well, I was really excited to go all the way with him tonight, and I love him and I’ve been planning everything out and I was really happy about it, and now we’re in a huge fight and he’s being a total dickhead, and he basically said it was my fucking fault I got sexually assaulted last term. Which, by the way, that happened and I didn't tell you. Even though I know he didn’t mean it, I don’t care, and I don’t want to talk to him ever again. What should I do?
“Sure, just… Please say I hope the procedure goes well, hope she’s feeling okay, that I miss her and love her.”“Sounds good.”Konan hung up and pushed her lips out in a childish pout, drumming her nails on the back of her phone. 
Now what?
What she really wanted to do was go on the motorbike and drive it as fast as she could until the wind pushing against her and the roar of the engine blasted all thought and feeling out of her. But she couldn’t do that by herself, and in any case, the motorbike was directly connected with Pain on account of it being his, and she didn’t want to think about him. Not to mention, when they eventually made up, he would kill her for borrowing it without permission.
Dickhead
She was pissed off, full of adrenaline from unspent anger, and more hurt and embarrassed than she’d really realized earlier when she’d stormed away from Pain. Part of her wanted to call Deidara and complain to him, and part of her wanted to text Hidan to see if he wanted to go break shit with her to try and achieve some kind of catharsis, when she changed her mind and shut her phone, reflecting that maybe she should try and think through her problems herself for once. She hopped the school wall and started walking the perimeter, trying to sort the accusations Pain had leveled against her into ‘reasonable,’ ‘possibly reasonable,’ and ‘unreasonable.’ But she kept getting stuck on the hook of his reluctant gaze under his lashes, on “Konan, sometimes you act like we’re still just friends.” She glared at the wall as she passed, fingers tracing its rough surface as her eyes slowly filled with tears of frustration and embarrassment. “I think you’re my girlfriend, but I don’t know if we’re on the same page about that!”
What does that even mean?
Konan bit the sleeve of her parka as she started to cry in earnest, trying to be quiet, her face hot and head aching. I don’t understand him, and I don’t understand why not! What am I doing wrong!? She had about cried herself out by the time she heard the sounds of someone else ahead of her, and smelled cherry vape. She wiped her face hastily and stopped, considering whether to just go back the way she’d come, not wanting to see anyone.Yūdachi leaned forward around the curve of the wall, his expression shifting when he recognized her. “Hey,” he said, exhaling a sweet-smelling cloud and stepping out in front of her. “Oh. Hi,” Konan said, a little thickly.Konan saw his eyes scan her face and obviously notice she’d been crying. She folded her arms, wishing now she’d bothered to zip up her parka.“Had a fight with your boyfriend?”—After screwing his head back on straight, Pain headed to the performing arts classroom and checked through the window on the door for Konan, but she wasn’t in choir. Which meant she was skipping because she was pissed off with him (fair), which meant she’d probably head to the dorm to change. He took the stairs three at a time and burst in, heading for her room. The door was shut. He stopped outside, catching his breath, then knocked tentatively. No answer. “Konan?” he called softly. Still nothing. Half-thinking he probably should just leave her alone, he took a chance on the handle, and it opened.  Either she’s not that mad, or she’s so mad she forgot to lock it… Pain poked his head inside. It took a few seconds for him to fully take in the room, but when he did, he stared around in surprise, walking in. Konan’s room was cleaner than usual, and lit by pink and purple fairy lights, which criss-crossed the walls and ceiling, bathing the small room in a warm glow. Her bed was carefully made and sprinkled with rose petals. A folded towel sat with a sense of purpose on her desk chair, and folded on top of it was what looked like a white lace lingerie set. The books, papers and pens that usually littered her bedside table were gone, replaced by a trio of pillar candles, at the base of which sat what was unmistakably a silver condom packet. As he stared at it, gobsmacked, brain chugging at half speed, something shiny caught his eye and he turned to see a foil-wrapped box on her desk. Sitting on top was a heart-shaped card with his name in gold on the front.Pain buried his face in his hands and sank down on the edge of Konan’s bed with a long exhale.
I am the stupidest fucking asshole in the goddamn world.
After about five minutes of inwardly screaming at himself, Pain figured he couldn’t feel any worse and picked up the card, flipping it open to read it. His eyes skimmed across Konan’s familiar handwriting.
Dear Pain,

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Thank you for always being so kind. Thank you for showing me what love can be like, and for being patient with me. I love you. I love you so much. I love the way you take care of your friends, I love your laugh, and your smile. I love it when you tease me, and when you play with me, and when you hold me. I love hanging out with you, and how safe and happy you make me feel. It’s embarrassing to write, but if I’m ever having a bad day, I think about the time on the night of the winter dance when you said you adore me, and I always feel so loved and happy, so thank you for that, too. I don’t know how I could love you more, but I know that I do, every day. Thanks for waiting, and not pressuring me – I was thinking I’d like to go all the way with you tonight, if you feel like it?

Love from your valentine, Konan

XOXO
Pain folded the card again and replaced it on the desk carefully. He had been wrong — he felt a million times worse. 
I am the biggest piece of garbage on the face of the planet… What the fuck is wrong with me…
After taking a few more moments to feel utterly disgusted with himself and miserably looking around at all the work Konan had clearly put into setting the mood for later (even in the pits of self-loathing, he cracked a small smile, imagining her balancing precariously on her rolling desk chair to hang the lights), Pain stood up and strode from the room, shutting the door behind him. The first step to setting things right with Konan was actually finding her.He texted Deidara, Sasori, and Hidan to check they hadn’t heard from her, then headed outside. He figured, trying and failing to fully push down the ache of guilt that came with the thought, that Konan didn’t particularly want him to find her. Weighing this up against he fact that he fully thought he was in the wrong and was determined to apologize, he carried on, deciding against the bent tree in the clearing and the lake, given that those were places she knew he knew she liked to go. He strode across the field to the bleachers, thinking he could get a pretty good vantage point from the top, in case she was around the grounds somewhere. Failing that, he’d take the bus into the village to check the cafés, parks, and the library. He circumvented the first year gym class, Docs sliding a little in the mud, and took the bleacher rows two at a time, staring around. At first, he saw nothing. Then he noticed a cloud like cigarette smoke puffing up on the other side of the wall, about a hundred feet away. Knowing Konan didn’t smoke, his eyes flicked away, but quickly flicked back, realizing someone with blue hair was standing right near the cloud, the other side of the tall end of the stone wall. He jumped down the bleachers and started jogging, frowning as he got closer and closer. Konan seemed to be on the other side of the wall, right near the point where the stones had come away, leaving one part of the wall about six feet tall, and the other part, a few feet down, only four feet tall. Pain figured he’d jump over that section to join her, when he heard voices and slowed, approaching at a walk, trying to be quiet. He smelled artificial cherry– somebody was vaping on the other side. Pain recognized Yūdachi’s voice, then heard Konan reply. He stopped, heart pounding. 
Aw, fuck. What do I do now?
After a moment’s indecision where he considered on the one hand just walking away, but possibly risking being overheard leaving, or on the other hand, interfering again to avoid being seen to be eavesdropping, Pain decided, completely against his better judgement, to do neither and stay put. He leaned against the cold stone wall, listening silently.“Had a fight with your boyfriend?”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Konan didn’t reply, just mentally asked the universe why and how she could possibly run into this guy of all people.“Want a hit?” Yūdachi asked, offering the vape. Konan shook her head.“Wanna talk about it?”“Not with you.”“Ouch,” he said with a little teasing smile. “You sure? I’m a great listener.”Konan raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, no thanks.”“It’s true, ask anyone.”“I don’t feel like talking.”Yūdachi watched her, taking a long puff on his vape and exhaling. Konan ignored him and watched the vapor cloud ripple and disperse in the breeze.“So… you really dating that guy?” Yūdachi asked abruptly. “What’s his name again?”“You know his name,” Konan said flatly, not looking at him.“Pain, right,” Yūdachi said, sucking his teeth and scratching the scar on his cheek. “Come on, why are you going out with him? Sounds boring. Sounds like a pain… get it?”Konan looked at him coldly. “He makes me happy,” she said shortly.Yūdachi snorted, stepping forwards. “You don’t look happy,” he said, gesturing to her face.Konan, perfectly aware that her eyes were probably red and puffy, said nothing and looked away again, considering just walking away. She had wanted peace and quiet, not a talk with a near-total-stranger, and certainly not this guy. She felt his eyes on her again and pointedly didn’t look back.“He’s pretty possessive, huh?” he asked.Konan started, caught off guard. “No, he’s not.”“Sorry, but he won’t even let you talk to another guy. I’d call that possessive.”Konan turned, scowling at him, hands balling in her pockets. “You weren’t just talking to me. You were asking me out.”Yūdachi stowed his vape in his pocket, crossing one foot casually over the other as he leaned against the wall, a perfect mirror of their previous conversation in the hallway, which pissed Konan off even more. “Fair,” he allowed with a grin. “I noticed you didn’t give me an answer. Your boyfriend did.” He raised an eyebrow. “He still your boyfriend after this fight?”Konan glared at him. “That’s none of your business.”Yūdachi held up his hands. “Sorry, sorry. Just asking.”“Well, stop asking, please.”Yūdachi gave her an evaluating look, tilting his head to the side. “He must be a pretty insecure guy, not letting you talk to whoever you wanna talk to,” he observed after a moment.Konan stiffened, hearing her own voice echoing back horribly through his. It’s not my fault you’re so insecure! “I heard he got into fights all last term, beating up some fourteen year olds. Big man, huh? And that’s the guy you’re with?”  Yūdachi clicked his tongue. “Come on . You’re way too good for him. Some over-possessive psycho with anger problems and half a pound of metal in his face? That’s your type?” Konan turned to fully face him, arms folded tightly across her chest, jaw tight. “Don’t you dare talk about him like that!” she said angrily, glaring up at him. “You don’t know anything about him, and you don’t know anything about me. ”She turned her back on him and took a step to leave. “You sure about that?” Yūdachi called casually from behind her.Konan cast a venomous look over her shoulder, then paused. At the back of her mind, a tiny, panicky worry snagged at her — the forum? She forced her face into a blank, placid smile, forced her mind to be still and quiet, calm as a pond’s unblemished clear surface.“I’m sure,” she said sweetly. She turned away again, only to feel his hand close on her wrist.“What’s the hurry?” Yūdachi asked, casual as anything.“Let go,” Konan said coldly.He didn’t. “Come on,” he said, going for persuasive. “You say I don’t know you— fine. I want to get to know you, and you can get to know me, too. Come out with me tonight. I’ll show you a really good time. We’ll have fun, I promise.” He smiled at her, his thumb stroking circles on her wrist. “A girl like you shouldn’t be alone on Valentine’s Day,” he said.“I don’t want to go out with you, now let go of my fucking hand!” she snapped, yanking her arm away, but he held on.Yūdachi’s eyes hardened as he backed off a step, but tightened his hold on her. “I just want to take you to dinner!” he snapped back, his voice much harsher all of a sudden. “Is that such a fucking disgusting idea to you? I’m a nice guy! Why are you acting like I’m some kind of psycho?”“Get off me!” Konan exclaimed, trying to pull her hand free of his grip. He let go, surprising her, and as she reeled backwards he followed, stepping forward quickly and pushing her up against the wall.“Jesus Christ,” Konan hissed, not even a little afraid, she was so angry, trying to twist her shoulders free, but his hands were pinning them against the wall.“What?” asked heatedly, his face close to hers. “Waiting for your loser goth boy to come save you?” He shook his head, running his tongue over his front teeth. “He’s not coming, Konan. Come on,” he whispered, shifting his thigh between her legs. “I know you want something new.”Konan laughed in his face, enjoying the effect as he reddened blotchily, eyes widening in anger. “If Pain were here, he’d fucking rip your arms off,” she said with a wide smile. “Aren’t you lucky it’s just me?”She jerked her thigh up, kneeing him in the balls with all her strength. He wheezed like an asthmatic hamster and deflated, curling away from her. Konan stepped to the side, facing him calmly as he turned. “You’re pathetic,” she said, hearing Kakuzu’s voice in her head as she planted her feet and waited patiently for him to raise his head, like she’d been practicing.She kicked him in the chest, sending him backwards into the stone wall. He crumpled to his knees in the frost-yellowed grass, winded and gasping.“And, as my boyfriend told you,” Konan said, stepping back from him, “I have plans on Saturday. So, regarding the date — thanks, but no thanks.”Feeling immensely proud of herself, Konan strode over to the point where the wall lost height, planted one hand on top, and hopped over. She dusted her hands off, straightening up……and found herself face-to-face with Pain.He was leaning against the tall portion of wall, nearly directly the other side of where Yūdachi was still wheezing. He had his arms folded across his chest, and was clearly embarrassed at being caught eavesdropping. Konan stopped, staring. It only took a second or two to realize that he must have overheard all or most of what had just happened; that he’d come looking for her; and that, riding on an endorphin high as she was, despite everything, for half a second she was 100% actually happy to see him.“Hey, you,” he said, his tone a little uncertain, but warm.“Hey, you,” she echoed, slipping her hands in her pockets, trying to read his expression.“Sorry for listening,” he said awkwardly. “I was looking for you. And I guess I… found you.”She smiled in spite of herself. “I guess you did.”Pain shook his head. “I should have left.”Konan gave a one-shouldered shrug. “It’s okay.” She frowned as Yūdachi gave a loud cough from the other side of the wall. “But… you heard all that?”“‘Fraid so.”“So you were here… and you didn’t come rip his arms off.”Pain grimaced. “That’s right.”Konan’s eyes fell on his fingers, digging into his folded arms. “Did you want to?” she guessed.“Oh yeah.”“You just listened to me kicking his butt instead.”Pain’s mouth twitched. “I sure did.”Konan smiled. “Thank you!” she said, completely genuinely.Pain smiled back for a second, then shook his head, pushing himself off the wall to stand straight, facing her. “I want to apologize,” he said seriously. Konan nodded, meeting his gaze and listening.“I’m sorry, Konan. Really, really sorry for everything I said. I was just being a fucking idiot, and I just got in my head about stupid shit that doesn’t matter, and I was wrong, and I didn’t mean it.” He shook his head at the ground and swallowed. “And, and before, the whole ‘saying no’ thing, I did not , I swear to god, mean—”“I know,” Konan stopped him. “I know you didn’t.”He looked at her, blinking hard and nodding. “Okay,” he said after a second. “I'm sorry for everything else I said, too. and I do trust you, I promise. I mean, you’re like…” He shook his head, swallowing again.She took a step closer. “I don't think you were wrong to say I should tell people I have a boyfriend, if it comes up. I guess I hadn’t noticed, because to me, it’s not other peoples’ business, but it makes me happy when you say I’m your girlfriend, and I hadn’t been doing the same for you. so, I'm sorry, too.”Pain squeezed his eyes shut, nodding. “I love you, Konan,” he murmured.Konan smiled. “I love you, too.”He cracked a small grin as his shoulders loosened, looking at her, then glanced away for a second, smile widening.“Hey, sorry if this isn’t the moment, but, just, I didn’t say it this morning because I was being a dickhead… by the way... you do look really cute in that outfit.”Konan laughed in surprise, beaming. She ran towards him and he grabbed her in his arms, grinning back and swung her around as she laughed. He held her up by her waist, her arms around his neck, looking down at him.“You’re not mad?” he asked.“Not mad,” she whispered back. She bent down and kissed him. She felt him smile against her lips as he lowered her, holding her tightly against him. She wrapped her legs around his waist and he laughed, turning to press her back against the wall, holding her up by her thighs and kissing her cheeks and forehead before she pulled him back down to her mouth.“You know,” he said, breaking away breathlessly after a few minutes. “I have to make another apology.”“Why?” Konan breathed, gazing, a little punch-drunk, into his violet eyes. He grimaced. “I went looking for you, to apologize, and your room was unlocked when I tried it.”“Oh.”“So, I kinda spoiled a surprise, I think.”“I guess,” Konan said, feeling herself going red as he grinned at her.“And, I read the valentine you wrote for me.”“Oh. That’s fine, it was for you, anyway.”“It made me feel awful because it was so nice, and I'd just been a fucking dick to you,” Pain said ruefully.Konan bumped her forehead against his gently. “Aw, I’m sorry.”“Don’t be. And, thank you.”“You’re welcome.”He glanced up at her, biting his lower lip in a grin that took on a wicked aspect when he saw how pink she was. “So… I noticed you redecorated up there. Lots of candles and rose petals… Nice lighting. Any particular reason for that?”Konan groaned and pressed her face into his shoulder. “Oh my god… You know why.”"Do I?"Konan could hear the smile in his voice. She pulled back, sighing, and looked at him. He looked mischievous, but also so happy. She bit her lip, glancing away, playing with some moss growing on the wall by her shoulder. “ Fine, ” she said reluctantly. “I was wondering if…”“Yeah?” Pain asked, grinning.“If you might want to…”Yeah?” he asked, voice quieter, his breath warm against her neck as he bent his head to kiss it softly.“Go… all the way tonight?” she breathed as he kissed up her neck to her jaw, pressing her back into the stone wall, hands running up her thighs.His mouth reached her ear. “I’d love to.” Konan grinned and pulled him into a long, slow, time-dissolving kiss before he pulled back for a breath, waiting until she met his gaze.“Are you sure? After today?” he asked, hesitatingly.She nodded. “Yeah,” she said, and meant it.—They stayed in the grounds for another hour, then took Pain’s motorbike into town for dinner at a nice restaurant, because Konan somehow didn’t want to eat with everyone else when her mind was buzzing with the knowledge that she would be going upstairs to have sex immediately after, and because Pain wanted to do something nice for her for Valentine’s day, after being a raging asshole (his words) to her that afternoon.Despite the food being delicious, neither of them really had very much to eat. Konan was too nervous, worrying about being full or gassy or getting a stomach ache later during their… activities. Pain said he didn’t want to get a cramp. Putting their helmets back on, they could barely make eye contact without laughing or grinning guiltily, and Konan hadn’t managed to cool her face down properly for hours.Eventually, they reached the dorm again, and after fending off Hidan, who apparently wanted to get everyone together to play cards in the hallway, they managed to shut themselves in Konan’s room.Konan pressed her back against the door and locked it, smiling nervously at Pain, who was standing a little awkwardly, hands in his pockets, but smiling back at her. “Um, I have some music,” she said, feeling weirdly fuzzy, like someone had replaced her brain with cotton candy, as she walked over to her speakers to turn them on, and opened the music app on her phone. She heard Pain sidle up behind her and curve his chin over his shoulder, his hands on her waist.“Playlist one of five, huh?” he said teasingly. “That’s a lot of pressure. I’ll see what I can do.”Konan laughed. “Hey, hey, you have to wait until I get changed!” she said, lifting his hands up as they strayed to the lacing of her corset. She crossed to her desk chair. “You can lie down,” she said, blushing as she nodded at the bed, “And I’ll be right back.”Pain raised his eyebrows and smiled as he obeyed, then laughed when she hit play and ‘Go All The Way’ by Raspberries began. Konan picked up the white lingerie set, and with a last smile, headed into her bathroom to change.She got her bunny costume off fine, but now that it came time to actually put it on, the lingerie set was more complicated than she’d realized. It was all one piece, not counting garter belt and stockings, which she had to imagine went on top… “But then, what about this?” she mumbled to herself, holding up the rest of it, which included a load of diagonal interlacing straps. She pulled one end over her head, only to quickly realize she was trying to put her arm through the crotch. “All good?” Pain called through the door as ‘Take Me Home Tonight’ by Eddie Money started playing. “Uh, yeah! Just a sec!” Konan called, voice slightly muffled by several straps over her mouth.It took another five minutes, but she finally got it on properly. She looked at herself in the mirror. Her reflection gazed unconvincingly back. The lingerie set had looked much better on the model than it did on her— it seemed to pull in tightly in various places, making her flesh bulge out in weird spots. Plus, her tits were too small to fill the lace cups properly. She sighed heavily and pressed her forehead against the door for a second, wondering why she had even bothered, and whether she could possibly just not wear it, even after all this hassle and build-up. She decided she’d better keep it on regardless – taking it off again would probably mean another ten-minute struggle. Luther Van Dross’ ‘Never Too Much’ began as she exited the bathroom nervously to find Pain lounging on the bed, smiling at her. He had lit the candles, and Konan was happy to see that they at least looked nice, throwing a flickering light across the side of his face, blending with the pink and purple string lights.“Oh, wow, ” Pain said, sitting up and looking her up and down.“Er, thanks,” Konan said, embarrassed, arms over her waist. “It was hard to put on, and it’s kind of…” She gestured at her waist and thighs, where the lacy ribbons criss-crossed, pulling against her skin, and where the bands of the garters were tight on her thighs. “Kind of… crazy sexy?” Pain finished for her, his eyes travelling up the ribbons of her garter belt. “You gonna come over here yet?” Konan laughed and walked over to the bed, slipping a little in the sheer white stockings. As soon as she started to crawl over to him, Pain leaned forward and grabbed her around the waist, pulling her up to him. She straddled his hips and melted into his arms as they cradled her against him, one hand cupping the back of her head, guiding her down into his kiss, the other firm against her back, pressing her against him. She closed her eyes as he opened her mouth with his, his tongue sliding between her lips to twist against hers and she sighed, her weight resting on one elbow to the side of Pain’s head, her hand stroking through his hair, her other hand stretching down to slide up underneath his shirt. He arched against her touch, muscles tensing and relaxing as her fingers danced across his stomach, up to his chest. Pain’s hand slid down to her ass, gripping it firmly as she laughed, pulling away to kiss his neck. Pain rolled her over and started kissing down her body. He sat up, tugging thoughtfully at one of the lace bands crossing her waist. “Is this all one thing?”“Uh, aside from the garter belt and stockings, yeah.”“Huh.” Pain ran his hands over Konan’s thighs as he frowned down at the lingerie set. “And they’re on top?”“Yeah.”“Alrighty. You okay if I try take it off?”Konan grinned up at him. “Be my guest.”He rolled her over onto her stomach, massaging her asscheeks as she laughed before fumbling with the hook and eye ties of the garter belt. After a second, she felt it loosen. “Do you want me to keep the stockings on?” she asked, rolling back over and pulling the garter belt up.“I mean, I wouldn’t say no,” Pain said with a grin, tugging at the thigh of one of them.“‘Kay.” Konan unclipped the garter belt and tossed it to the side. Pain cupped her face and kissed her. “Step two,” he sighed, breaking the kiss and looking with concern, once again, at the teddy. “Is there like a fastening at the back, or…” He rolled her over again like she was a loaf of bread, fingers tugging at various straps, running over lace panels. “There’s one here–” Konan tried to reach the middle of her back.“Ow.” “Oh, sorry!” Konan said, lowering her elbow from Pain’s face. She scooted down the bed away from him. “Here, I can try to…” She put her tongue between her teeth, frowning as she felt behind her neck for the stupid little ribbon tie. “Got it! Um, there’s another hook and eye thing kind of there…”It took them ten minutes to get the blasted thing off, and they kept bumping into each other. Finally, Pain tugged it all down her legs, flipping her onto her back and sending his arms arching backwards in a huge yank. “Oh fuck, ” he hissed as he knocked the candles over. “Oh my god!” Konan squealed, “Oh my god, are you okay?”“Just… lightly burned…” Pain said vaguely, peeling the drying wax off his skin. “Oh, wait, your sheets…”“Oh fuck,” Konan muttered, sliding off the bed and hurrying over to tip the candles back up, grimacing at the pool of wax now cooling on her bottom sheet. “God damnit… I mean, at least nothing caught fire.” “Konan!” She let out a tiny scream as she spotted the stream of smoke issuing from behind her bed. “Oh my god!”  She ripped Sasori’s poster out from behind the headboard where it had been rolled up, and raced it to the bathroom, stuffing the corner which was actively burning under the tap and slamming the knob on as Pain laughed from the bed. Once it was extinguished, she returned, unrolling the paper sourly to show Pain the blackened corner of the All my boyfriend wants is to eat out poster Sasori had drawn for her. Pain, who hadn’t seen it before, laughed harder. “I mean… so much for setting the mood,” Konan muttered, tossing the poster down. “You got burned and I just ran around completely naked dousing a fucking fire.” “I’m still enjoying the view,” Pain said seriously, smiling at her. “Oh,” Konan said, suddenly feeling a little shy.“Come back over here.” Pain reeled her in, pulling her back down on top of him, then rolling them over so he pinned her down on the mattress with his body. They made out through several Barry White songs before Pain started heading south again, kissing down her neck, across her breasts, running his tongue over her nipples as she squirmed beneath him, his hands sliding down her waist, gripping tight. “Can I eat you out?” he breathed against her, lips skimming down her stomach, eyelids heavy as he looked up at her. “Yeah,” she replied, propped up on her elbows, watching, lips parted, as he slid his arms under her thighs, curling them around to grip tightly, holding her open as he lowered his head, kissing and sucking at the sensitive skin on the inside of her thighs as her breath shook, just waiting for him.Finally, he slid his tongue up against her pussy and she flopped back down on the bed with a gasp. His fingers dug into the skin of her thighs, pulling her down the mattress closer to him as he nodded against her, eating her out slow, deep, and wet. She bucked her hips against his face and he groaned, half-laughing into her, twisting his tongue against her clit again. She reached down and tugged at the fabric of his shirt until he lifted up.“Take it off,” she murmured, looking at him, her chest heaving, thighs parted.It was the first time she’d seen him undress from his school uniform. He got on his knees and watched her watch him undo the knot of his tie and slide it off, dropping it to the floor before unbuttoning his shirt. “Should I… get the condom?” Konan whispered, blushing. “Okay,” Pain said, a little pink himself as he slid off his belt. “Still good?”“Still good,” Konan replied, crawling up the bed to grab the condom packet. She turned back to face him, grinning as he slid his pants down, and bit down, ripping it open. “Ew, that tastes weird,” she muttered. She spat a piece of foil into her hand. “Um…”“What’s up?”Konan pulled the condom out of the wrapper. “I bit it.”“Is it okay?” Pain walked over and took it from her, holding it close to one of the string lights. “Konan, you bit through it. How sharp are your fricking teeth!?”Konan laughed in disbelief. “Um, normal, I think!? Is it okay?”Pain gave her an incredulous look. “Um, no? There’s a hole in the condom. Generally, that’s not what you want. Do you have another?”“Uh… no.”“You just got one!?” “Well, it’s my first time! I wasn’t exactly expecting a round two!” Konan fired back, laughing. “Do you have any?”Pain ran a hand through his hair, chucking the condom in the garbage. “Um, yeah, I have a box in my room.”Konan shot him a teasingly impressed look and whistled. “Wow, a whole box, huh? Who did you get those for?”Pain made a face and rolled his eyes at her, sitting down on the bed. “Well, what do you want to do?”“What do you mean? You just said you have a whole box of them in your room!” Pain stared at her. “Konan, everyone’s fucking playing cards or Yahtzee or whatever in the hallway! I’m not going down there with a fucking boner to grab a condom.”As if to prove his point, there was a sudden outcry of glee from the other side of the door. Konan thought she heard Hidan accusing someone of cheating.“Well, well, what should we do?” she sputtered.“You said you have an IUD in, right?”She raised an eyebrow at him. “I am not getting fucking rawdogged on my first time, buddy. Besides, we haven’t got tested or whatever!”Pain snorted. “Tested for what? I don’t know what kind of crazy lifestyle you think I’m living, lady, but—”Konan rolled her eyes, trying to think. “Okay, okay, what about Sasori?”“If anybody needs to get tested—”“No, no, he must have condoms, right?” Konan said. “Also, you give him a lot of shit for someone who’s been in a monogamous relationship for—”“You didn’t know him last year, and anyway, I don’t want to use Sasori’s fucking condoms!”“A condom’s a condom!” Konan said, getting up and finding the lingerie set. “Oh, don’t put that back on—”“I won’t do it up!” she said, rolling her eyes again as she shimmied back into the lace bear trap. “I’ll just sneak in there, and go get some!”“Some, huh?” Pain said, waggling his eyebrows.“One, then. At this rate, we might not even fricking get there…”Konan hurried over to the chair she had propped up against the door to Sasori’s room, and shifted it out of the way before turning the handle and opening the door. At any rate, with everyone in the hallway, she’d be able to find the condoms, grab one (or more), and get back out without their owner ever being the wiser.“Woah-ho-ho! What are you wearing!? ”Or not.Sasori was clearly in the middle of getting ready for bed, about to pull on a sleep shirt.He stared at Konan, who was caught movie-style, pressed against the wall like she was trying to blend in with the paint. She tried to get ahold of herself and act natural, clearing her throat and leaning against his dresser like she did this every day.“Heyyyy Sasori,” she said, crossing her ankles casually and shooting him a finger gun and a wink. “Where’s a cowboy like you keep his condoms?”He stared at her for a full five seconds. Then— “Oh, no.” “Well, mine broke!” Konan whined, giving up on casual entirely.“You only had one!?” Sasori burst out, staring at her.“Can I borrow some, or not?”“ Some!? ”“Well—”“I guarantee you, the maximum you’re gonna need is two ,” he said, snorting and walking over to his dresser. “Unless Pain either has the stamina of a marathoner, or nuts when a warm breeze washes over him…”“Are you gonna lend me one or not!?” Konan exclaimed, starting to feel kind of cold in just the lingerie. “Calm down, you’re the one that burst in on me with your fucking chooch out! Now, take these and go,” Sasori snapped, chucking two condoms at her head. Konan caught them, laughing. “ Chooch!?” “I didn’t want to embarrass you!” Sasori called grouchily after her as she headed out the door, shutting it behind her and replacing the chair against it.Konan found Pain laying on the bed in his underwear, now listening to ‘Pony’ by Ginuwine. “Got some!” she said, holding the condoms triumphantly. “You think they’ll fit?”Pain snorted. “Unless Sasori’s hung like a fucking elephant, which I know for a fact he's not…”“Yay! Okay!” Konan grinned, tossing them to Pain as she shimmied back out of the lingerie, which was much easier to do since she never did it up. “I think the music’s kind of got ahead of us, though…” she mumbled, hurrying over to her phone to get onto a different playlist. She had just changed to ‘Let’s Get it On’ by Marvin Gaye when Pain burst out laughing behind her. “What’s wrong?” she asked, turning around, a worried crease between her eyebrows. “You don’t like this one?”“No, it’s not that,” Pain gasped, barely covering a huge grin with his hand.“I look stupid?” Konan asked, covering her stomach anxiously as she walked back to the bed.“No, ” Pain said, still laughing. “Honey, there’s a rose petal stuck in your butt crack.” “Oh my god, ” Konan snorted, giggling too, rolling over so Pain could get it out. “You know, I had everything all planned out, and it was supposed to go smoothly, and everything keeps going wrong…”“Classic first time stuff,” Pain said easily, kissing her shoulder and pulling her over to him. “You still down?”Konan sighed, then nodded with a smile. “Yeah. I want to. Are you still down?”Pain half-smiled, half-grimaced. “I mean, yeah. Probably need a few minutes to get back into it, but…”“Marvin Gaye doesn’t get you instantly hard?” Konan asked, teasing, reaching a hand over to stroke at his half-hard cock through his boxer briefs. “Funny enough, no,” Pain said, sighing as she slipped her hand under the waistband, getting a slightly firmer grip and stroking smoothly. “That, on the other hand… maybe.”Konan giggled, bending over him and kissing him deeply as she pumped him slow and firm. His hands slid up her thighs, hot over her skin, thumbs pressing circles over her hips, sliding up her waist as she sucked his tongue. He pulled her down next to him, breaking the kiss for a second to slip his fingers into his mouth to wet them before his hand slid back down her body between her legs. Her hand kept stroking his cock as she raised her leg, resting it on his hip as his fingers pressed against her clit, circling as she moaned into the kiss. Konan felt his cock getting harder and harder, hot in her hand as the air around them heated up with their bodies and their breath. Pain pulled her lower lip gently in his teeth, then pulled her back in, cupping the back of her head, his tongue sliding against hers, deep in her mouth, powerful, as she felt overwhelmed by him, as his fingers slid inside her and she sighed into him, then moaned as he bent his fingers, finding that bundle of nerves that drove her crazy. Her hand was speeding up on his cock, thumb sliding over the tip, wet with pre-cum. “You wanna jump in?” Pain breathed against her cheek, his fingers still crooking inside her, slower now as he let her get her breath back. “Yeah,” she said, suddenly feeling a jolt of anxiety. “Um…”“What is it?” He kissed her cheek.“Will you go slow?”“Yeah, of course I will.” He stopped, looked carefully into her eyes. “Let me know, whatever you want. If you want me to stop, or do something different, just tell me. Okay?” He kissed her forehead. “I want this to be good for you, that’s the most important thing.”She gazed back into his violet eyes, the purple and pink fairy lights glittering, reflected there. His eyelashes were so dark, and long, casting shadows as he blinked. She nodded. “Okay,” she whispered.Konan scooted up until she was in the middle of the bed, biting her lip as she watched Pain tear open one of the condoms and slid it down his cock. He smiled at her, taking in her nervous expression, and reached for the packet of lube she’d got from Shizune’s office, tearing it open as well and sliding his hand up his cock a few times before lowering it to her pussy, rubbing her gently.“Sorry, it’s cold,” he murmured. “But we better make this as comfortable as possible, right?”“Right,” she whispered back. He smiled and nudged her legs open with his knee. She opened her arms and he fell into them, exhaling a little laugh. “You ready?” he asked, voice soft, warm, so familiar. Konan met his gaze and nodded. “Okay,” he breathed, as ‘Venus’ by Sleeping At Last began.Konan felt him guide the head of his cock down, pressing against her. Somehow, even though she knew exactly how big it was, it felt bigger. “Relax. Breathe slow,” Pain whispered against her temple, kissing her cheek. “Breathe with me.”Konan closed her eyes, trying to focus on the feel of his skin under her hands, on his voice in her ear. She felt him push in further. They both sucked in a breath at once.“Jesus fucking Christ, you’re really tight,” he hissed, stopping and lifting up, pressing his forehead against the mattress. “Is that good or bad!?” Konan asked, staring at him.He exhaled a breathy, disbelieving laugh. “It’s good, I mean, yeah, but… Jesus. ”Konan laughed. “It’s okay, relax, breathe slow,” she repeated back to him, and he laughed, too. “Okay, okay. Damn,” he whispered, biting her shoulder playfully before kissing her. “I’m gonna keep going, okay?”“Okay.”He pushed in more. Konan felt a dull ache deep inside, getting worse and worse. She tried to slow her breath, tried to relax. Pain got her to hold his hand and squeeze it so he knew if she was hurting. He put two fingers in his mouth and then slid his hand between them and started rubbing her clit, slow. As her breaths lengthened, he looked in her eyes, waiting until she nodded, then he slowly started pulling out and thrusting back in, pushing further and further each time. She bit her lips against the ache.“You okay? You want to stop?” he murmured, kissing her again when she shook her head. “Almost there, almost there, baby.”He pressed his forehead against hers, eyes locked on her own. She watched his eyelids flicker, lips parting in a low moan as he pushed in all the way, so she felt his pelvis pressed up against hers. “Holy fucking god ,” he sighed, head lowering.“Just wait—” Konan panted, nails digging into his arm for a second. “Just, just stay for a sec, okay?”“Okay,” he breathed, meeting her gaze as she closed her eyes tight, chest rising and falling as she tried to adjust to the way she was stretched, to the pressure. After thirty seconds, she whispered he could move again. He bent and kissed her as he pulled out and thrust back in, in one slow, smooth movement. Konan gasped as he pushed all the way in again, cupping the back of his neck. “Better?” he whispered, breath warm on her face.“Better,” she agreed faintly, sliding her fingers through his hair.As he thrust into her, still slow but getting a little faster, she was focusing less on the vague ache, which had lessened greatly, and more now on the smell of his sweat, on the feeling of his cock sliding inside her, the pressure and stretch of it, the rhythm of their bodies coming together, the feel of his skin, of being completely, totally overwhelmed by him.“Woah, okay,” Pain breathed, stopping suddenly, panting. He kissed her shoulder, thrusting slow again, then stopping, sucking his teeth. “What’s wrong?”“Uh…” He looked up at her, giving her a funny smile, frowning a little. “You just feel… really, really good.”“Oh good?”“Yeah, no, this is… kind of crazy.”She looked between his eyes, trying to read his expression. “Did you come?” she whispered.He laughed. “No. Almost.”“That’s okay!” Pain smirked, rolling his eyes. “I mean it’s not ideal… Give me a second.” He dipped low, kissing her long, and slow, and deep, his hands sliding up underneath her to hold her tightly. After a few seconds, he started thrusting again, faster until Konan started gasping each time he was all the way in, their skin getting sweaty and sliding against each other. Pain rolled Konan onto her side so they faced each other on the pillow, Konan’s legs around him, her hips rocking to meet his, her hand on his cheek as they kissed, his left hand between them, rubbing her clit again. “Oh, my god, ” Konan breathed, whimpering as their hips met perfectly and the head of Pain’s cock hit a spot deep inside her that felt really, really good.  “‘M gonna come soon,” Pain breathed against her, and she nodded against him, holding him closer, lifting her hips to meet his as he sped up his thrusts, fist closing in her hair. He kissed her desperately. She felt him shake as he moaned, panting against her, stroking her face. She held him through it, then stroked his hair as both their breathing started to slow down, still feeling her heart hammering against his. He got his breath back, then pulled out, gazing down at her, his eyes blown out, lips wet. She watched him slide the condom off, tie it, and slide off the bed to chuck it in the garbage. “Feeling okay?” he panted, pulling his boxers back on before coming back over to sit next to her, cupping her cheek. “Uh huh,” she said, nodding up at him.“Good.” He grinned, sliding his knee over and lifting her hips up, ignoring her yelp of surprise, skimming his arm through her legs until her hips were elevated on his folded leg, his torso between them, his weight resting on one hand by her waist, the other hand on her inner thigh. “You wanna keep going?”Konan stared up at him, still dizzy on him, hardly able to string her words together as her eyes met his, purple, pupils dark, face warm in the string lights, his hand heavy and warm on her skin, sliding down as ‘Baby Hold On’ by Eddie Money began. “You want to?”He leaned down, grinning. “Oh yeah,” he whispered before kissing her, soft at first, then roughly, passionately, as he slid his fingers inside her, shifting until he got the right angle and then pistoning in and out of her, the elevation of her hips making him hit something really good inside, and it was barely a few seconds before she was moaning and squeaking into him, grabbing at his arms, reaching for his body. He chuckled into her, tongue sliding against hers, so deep in her mouth as his fingers hit that spot again and again and again, her legs shaking, and then suddenly he was pulling back, gone. Konan felt cold for about half a second before he grabbed her hips, yanking her down the bed and she laughed as he slid off, on his knees on the floor, pulling her thighs over his shoulders. The raised bed put her at exactly the right height, she realized later than he clearly had, as he yanked her hips until she was right at the edge of the mattress, and buried his face in her with a long moan, sighing into her, licking her up in fast, long strokes of his tongue before sucking her clit, then circling it, his tongue so wet and warm, then pushing it inside her, swirling it, his nose pressed right against her pussy, his eyes so dark they looked black, gazing right at her as she watched him, heavy-lidded. She was gasping, chest heaving, propped on her elbows to watch, biting down on her hand to try be quiet. “Don’t do that,” he breathed, lifting up, panting. “Huh?”“Let me hear you.” She caught the flash of a grin before he was back down again, fingers digging into her thighs. She lowered her hand from her mouth, blushing, and crossed her legs behind his head, pulling him in harder against her, lifting her hips up, grinding against his face. She watched his eyes roll up in his head as he moaned, licking her faster, deeper, and she dropped her head back on the mattress, gasping and moaning, shaking and sweating.“That’s it, baby, that’s it,” he breathed into her, sliding his fingers inside, tongue circling her clit. “Oh fuck, oh fuck,” Konan squeaked, reaching down to bury her hand in his hair, pulling it as he hissed and groaned appreciatively, fingering her even faster, fingers crooked against the bundle of nerves just inside as her head got fizzy, feeling the pressure building. “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god ” she whimpered in a high-pitched stream, neck arched back, mouth open and gasping, eyes squeezed tight shut as her body trembled as she came, Pain’s fingernails digging into her thighs as she squeezed them around him, and he was panting “Fuck yes, fuck yes, baby,” against her as he fingered her through it.Konan opened her eyes, panting and sweaty on the bed, and loosened her legs, reaching for Pain, who came up, grinning down at her until she pulled his face down into a kiss. Her breath fanned across his cheek as she caught it back, kissing him deep, tasting herself in his mouth. She pulled him down into her loose and sweaty body, breath catching in surprise when she felt his cock, hard again, press between her legs through his boxer briefs. “Can you do it again?” she breathed.He huffed out a laugh, lifting himself up on his hands to look at her. “Um, yeah, I can. You want to?”Konan grinned up at him, heart pounding hard. “Yeah.”He shook his head, grinning too, and pulled off his underwear, grabbing the second condom and sliding it down, pumping his cock a few times as Konan shuffled her hips back to the end of the bed, trailing her fingers lightly over her ribs, absent-minded, giving herself goosebumps as she watched him. Pain, smirking down at her, pushed her legs apart, one hand sliding down her thigh as he positioned his cock against her and entered her slow, biting his lower lip, watching every change on her face as he pushed all the way back inside.Konan stared at him as he slid inside, tipping her head back and moaning when he was all the way in — it felt way better this time, without any discomfort, although she was still getting used to the size of him. She reached for him, and he laughed as she pulled him down, She wrapped her hands around his neck, kissing him slow and deep as he thrust into her. She broke away for a second, her forehead lowered against his chest as she watched, lips parted, blushing and mesmerized, as his hips lifted and snapped forwards again, smooth and powerful, watched his cock slide in and out of her.Eventually, Konan pulled Pain up onto the bed and made him sit up by the pillows, grinning at his look of surprise as she swung a leg over his hips, balanced on her knees, hands holding the headboard as she reached back for his cock, trying to line it up. “Go slow, go slow, don’t hurt yourself,” Pain breathed into her hair, hands stroking down her sides as she slowly lowered down, going up a few times, onto his length, groaning when she got all the way down, sitting on him. This felt very different, and she leaned forward, panting, forehead against Pain’s shoulder as she adjusted to it.His hands went to her back, then her ass as she rebalanced herself, lifting her hips up a little, rolling them experimentally, smiling when Pain gasped, watching his face for what made him close his eyes, bit his lip, tip his head back, moan, looking for what felt good. She lifted and dropped her hips, shaking her ass for him, making him laugh, blushing at the wet, slapping sound every time she came down. When she got tired, he held her in place, arms wrapped tight around her, holding her still as his hips snapped up, jackhammering into her. She felt her asscheeks shaking with his thrusts and she bit down on his neck as she melted against him, moaning, half-crying into his skin as he panted and whispered in her ear. By the time they’d shifted again, Pain leaning against the headboard, Konan sitting in his lap, her legs wrapped around his lower back, arms around his neck, kissing him long and sloppy, their tongues licking into each other as Konan grinded against him, her pussy slick as he thrust up slow into her, both of them moaning into each other, Pain’s arms wrapped around her, Konan’s brain was complete mush and she could barely tell where she ended and where he began. She rocked her hips forwards, grinding hard and slow, pulling Pain’s hair like he liked it, whining as his cock thrust up in her, deeper, hitting that really good spot. She felt Pain stiffen, heard his breath catch and grinned against him, knowing what was coming. “Baby,” he breathed, hand tight on her lower back, pulling her even closer into him as he thrust up into her faster, making her gasp.“Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on, come on,” she panted into him, holding him tightly, tilting her hips against his, eyes closed, listening to him breathing, feeling him like a tide pulling out and then crashing over as he came again, sucking on her neck, nails dragging across her skin. After a while, they let go of each other, Konan lifting her stiff leg off him and collapsing sideways with a laugh as he scooted off the bed, slipping off and tying the second condom, pulling his underwear on again for the second time, and joining her, curling up beside her, his body hugging hers, arm slung across her waist as he caught his breath in her hair. When they got cold, they pulled the blanket over. Konan closed her eyes to Pain’s lips trailing kisses across her shoulders.“I love you,” she whispered in the dark.“I love you so much,” he whispered back.—A couple days later, Konan got a text from Deidara, saying the others were having a party and to come back to the dorm with Pain right after class. She headed up the stairs with him, wondering aloud what exactly the occasion was supposed to be. As soon as he unlocked the dorm and opened the door, that became pretty obvious.The others were waiting for them, gathered in a huddle, all smirking together, holding up a tray cake with blue flowers they must have ordered from a grocery store. The icing read, ‘Congrats on the Sex.’“Way to go! Get your freak on!” Hidan cheered, only half-sarcastically, tossing condoms in the air like confetti. One landed on the cake with a soft splat. Konan realized that what she had taken for balloons, drifting and bouncing across the floor, were in fact more condoms, inflated to a ridiculous size. She felt her jaw hanging open as she stared.“So….Who’s the Lonely Island fan?” Pain asked drily, breaking the awkward silence

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

On February 20th, Konan woke up with her specially-set alarm, and took a quick shower before dressing, humming with excitement. She put her hair up in a slightly messy french twist, put on a pair of gold earrings and a matching necklace, and dark red lipstick. She pulled on sheer black tights, her black spaghetti-strap minidress, and her black peacoat. Examining herself in the mirror, she added her round black sunglasses and slipped on her black heeled loafers, grinning as she did so. The dress code had been set as 90’s movie core, and she felt she’d hit the nail on the head.As soon as she was dressed, she tiptoed over to the adjoining door to Sasori’s room, mentally preparing herself for anything she might see. She pushed it open, squinting around in the dark.“Sasori, are you awake yet?” she whispered. The lights clicked on, and she yelped in surprise. She’d been prepared to see Sasori completely naked, to see both Sasori and Deidara completely naked, possibly in the middle of something acrobatic and horrifying, but she had not been prepared to see them both fully dressed, posing like models.Sasori was wearing a suit, black coat, and a dark plaid scarf with black sunglasses, leaning artfully against the bookcase. Deidara lay on the bed, one hand behind his head, his legs loosely crossed, doing his best Kate Moss  in a long navy coat with white t-shirt tucked loosely into black slacks, shiny black loafers underneath, also in black sunnies.“How long have you been posing like that?” Konan whispered accusingly. “About five minutes,” Sasori said, stretching and grinning at her. “Okay, very funny,” Konan said, rolling her eyes and beckoning at them. “Come on, let’s get the others.”They crept together back through Konan’s room and across the hallway to Hidan’s room, trying to open the door without a sound.Unlike Sasori and Deidara, Hidan was completely asleep, snoring like a bear, mouth hanging open like he was hoping a passing kitten might use it as a bed. Konan, Sasori, and Deidara looked at one another, their faces splitting into identical evil grins. Deidara clapped his hand over Hidan’s mouth, muffling his yell as Konan yanked the covers down and Sasori jumped on the bed and started tickling him. Hidan’s eyes snapped open wide and he was thrashing like an eel, kicking his legs wildly. Sasori received several knees and elbows in sensitive places, Hidan got kneed in the dick, Konan saw a hell of a lot more of Hidan than she wanted to (she kept forgetting he didn’t seem to own pyjamas), and Deidara nearly choked, trying to be quiet while also laughing his ass off. After a few minutes of confusion where Hidan whispered some extremely colourful and vivid oaths at them all while they tried to cover his junk for him with a range of items, including a sock, a pencil, a computer mouse, and a pair of shoes, they eventually got him dressed in an all-black suit and coat combo, with a spare pair of sunglasses jammed over his face. When they released him, Hidan added some dangly silver earrings with chains and a cross.“Kakuzu next, Kakuzu next,” Hidan whispered gleefully, putting several sharpened pencils between his fingers, giving himself Wolverine claws; he seemed to get over his own ordeal pretty quickly, as long as he made sure his friend suffered worse.They took the adjoining door to Kakuzu’s room, but were foiled in their plans. Kakuzu was sitting in a chair with the light on, already dressed in black slacks, a black turtleneck, dark grey peacoat, and sunglasses. Itachi and Kisame were already up too, both in suits, coats, and sunnies. “Birthday boy’s next,” Hidan said, grinning at Konan, who nodded. They crept back into the hallway, arranging themselves in a circle outside Pain’s door. Sasori knocked. It took several more knocks before Pain actually woke up and came to the door. He gazed at them, eyes barely open and crusty with sleep, wearing his Bikini Kill t-shirt and sweatpants. Then he shut the door in their faces.“Hey, hey, what kind of ingratitude is that!?” Hidan exclaimed, jerking the door open again as the others laughed. “Get out here!”Pain shuffled back to the door, blinking a few times and looking at them properly, covering a huge yawn. “What’s going on?” he asked blearily, rubbing his knuckles into his eyes. “Why are you guys dressed like that?”“We're going to a funeral,” said Itachi.“Who died?”“My uncle Hank,” Hidan said, nudging Kakuzu and grinning. “Okay… have fun, I guess,” Pain yawned, trying again to shut the door and head back to bed, but Kisame grabbed him by the back of the shirt and tugged him back. “Hey!”“You’re coming with us, dumbass,” Kisame said, and they all followed him back into Pain’s room, laughing as they picked out an outfit for him.In the end, Pain had been allowed to have a shower to wake up properly before putting on a black t-shirt, black pants, grey coat, dark blue scarf, and his black sunglasses. Kisame and Itachi made a trip down to the cafeteria to get them all coffees to go before they headed out of the dorm, walking down the hall in their sunglasses like something out of The Matrix.“So, what exactly is going on?” Pain whispered to Konan as they followed the group. She grinned and looped her arm through his as they headed down the stairs. “Hidan’s uncle Hank died, and specially requested that all of us attend the funeral, so that’s where we’re going.”“Right… he specially requested that… before he died, right?”“Uh, yeah.”“Who the fuck is this Hank guy?”“Hidan’s uncle.”“I got that, but why does he want all of us at the funeral? I never even met the guy,” Pain whispered as they headed for the front doors, getting funny looks from other students as they passed.“Because this was the only way to get all of us the full day off school without getting in trouble.” Konan smirked, pressing the earpiece of her sunglasses so they waggled up and down playfully. Pain snorted with laughter as, right on cue, Shizune stepped into their path, arms crossed. “Right… You’re all off for…” She lifted up a piece of paper, one eyebrow raised as she scanned it. “Hank Terasoma’s funeral?”“That’s right,” Hidan said, doing a passable broken-hearted voice.“Hmm.” Shizune looked them over. “What’s the theme of the funeral? ‘Say Anything?’ ‘Breakfast Club?’ ‘Four Weddings and a Funeral?’”Konan stifled a giggle and tried to turn it into a tiny sob. When none of them said anything, Shizune sighed and stepped out of their way. “Alright, well, be back before lights out. My condolences to your family,” she said to Hidan as he passed.Once they were out the doors and out of earshot down the front path, they all burst out laughing.“Nice!” Kisame said, high-fiving Deidara and Sasori as they ran for the road, heading for the bus stop.“So, where are we really going?” Pain asked, grinning at Itachi, who tapped his nose conspiratorially.“Patience, my friend. All will be revealed in time.”In the end, it was revealed a little earlier than anticipated, when the second bus they hopped on drove past the sign for Playland. “Oh, sweet, I love this place!” Pain said, looking eagerly out the window. Behind him, Kisame, Deidara, Sasori, and Konan high-fived.The plan had been several weeks in the making. Konan had asked Sasori and Deidara what Pain’s favourite things to do were. Kisame had overheard and floated an amusement park, as he and Pain had gone about twenty times over the summer of their fourth year at school. They had needed to get Hidan on board with the fake-dead-relative plan, since, apparently, Shizune and Tsunade would be too suspicious of either Deidara or Sasori needing to suddenly disappear for a family emergency, as they had both played that card before. Itachi had suggested the dress code, both to be more convincing with the funeral story, and also for fun pictures. Kakuzu had generously provided the funds for their tickets, after winning big at the pool house.“Did you lose weight?” Sasori asked Konan suddenly, startling her out of a daydream.“Uh… I don’t think so?”He squinted at her, tilting his head. “I think so.”“Oh. Okay.”“And your hair is weirdly… shiny.”Konan gave him a suspicious look. “Are you trying to pay me a compliment, or…?”“Nope.”“Oh. Thanks for clarifying.”He took her hand and examined her nails, frowning. He took off her sunglasses and glared at her face.“Your skin is better.”Before she could say anything, he then reached forward and patted her chest. “Are you wearing a padded bra?”“No… Also, um, hey,” she said, swatting his hand away. He raised his eyebrows. “Well, something weird is going on.”“Am I not allowed to grow? Are you ruining my possible eventual transition from A-cup to B-cup?” Konan asked, half-joking, not taking him seriously in the slightest. “No, you’re not allowed to grow. Growing is for losers,” he retorted.“Of course you’d say that. Mister five-foot-four,” Deidara snarked, tuning into the conversation.“Five foot four and a half!” Sasori growled, turning and punching Deidara in the shoulder playfully. “You’re not even taller than me!”“Yeah, I am!” Deidara yelled back, and they were off, arguing and laughing.“Hey, did you fill these out yet?” Kisame asked her, tapping her shoulder with a roll of paper.“What are they?” she asked, taking the roll and unfurling it to find several sheets with what looked like surveys on them.“It’s the yearbook questionnaire,” he explained. They do this every year, so they can print rankings for stuff like best Halloween installation, best costume, most-likely-to, whatever.”“Oh, gotcha,” Konan murmured, taking the pen he passed her and scanning the list. “We can also submit photos to the yearbook, so if you have pictures of events, or of your friends, you can send them in, and they might get printed,” Itachi chimed in.“Can we submit Sasori’s—”“ NO.”  “ — sneeze photo?” Deidara asked through laughter, grinning at Sasori, who was giving him the evil eye.“That would be amazing, ” Konan agreed enthusiastically, high-fiving Deidara.“You better not, or else I’ll submit your bikini photo,” Sasori said threateningly, and Konan immediately assumed an expression of saint-like innocence and returned to the survey.There were about a dozen normal-ish questions she’d expected to see (Cutest Couple; Most Fashionable; Favourite Teacher; Best Hair; We have a crush on…; Top Athlete), but there were also categories like ‘Metalwork MVP’ for every medium, and a whole host of questions on the seasonal events (Best Halloween Installation/Artwork, Best Halloween Costume). Shaking her head at the pages and pages of questions, she started to fill them out. She put Sasori and Deidara down for Cutest Couple, partly because she couldn’t see how they wouldn’t win, unless a surprise couple formed before the end of the year. She put Ino down as Most Fashionable, mostly because she knew Ino put in effort, and winning would matter to her, and she put Kurenai down for her favourite teacher, even though she suspected that Kakashi might win. She had to skip a load of questions she couldn’t think of anything for, but voted Pain for Metalwork MVP. It was a bright, crisp day, and their breath fogged before them and the metal gates of the amusement park shone before them in the sun like the gates to heaven. Konan linked arms with Pain and Deidara, beaming, as they lined up to get tickets. “I feel like we’re in our own ‘Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’ or something,” she whispered to Pain, who nodded and smiled at her.The middle-aged man working the ticket booth gave them a funny look as they passed him. “You guys dressed up for something special?” he asked.“Funeral,” Sasori said, totally straight faced, and they all burst out laughing.The park was pretty quiet, only just having opened for the season. They photos all day, posing with their sunglasses, their sombre clothes sticking out against the brightly coloured rides and attractions.Once inside, Konan knew they’d made the right choice for Pain’s birthday — he was like a little kid, running from ride to ride, pulling her along by her hand. They went on roller coasters, super high rides with swings on chains that terrified her, teacup rides, vomitron-style rides, and more. After, they went through the haunted house, which Pain assured her wouldn’t be terribly scary, but which, as she insisted for the next twenty minutes when they finally got out, he had been dead wrong about. They had been instantly separated, scuppering her plan of holding the back of his coat and following him around with her eyes closed; they got put into literal coffins by horrifying clowns, hammered in, apparently buried, and then dug back up again by an enormous spider, which Konan was barely able to gather the strength to crawl past, gibbering, eyes full of tears as the clown actors chivvied her along. And then, even though she felt fully justified in how scared she'd been, the others called her a baby and teased her for the rest of the day.Eventually, she needed a break and followed Kakuzu around for a while as he and Hidan circled the arcade and carnival games. Hidan worked up a head of steam, gnashing his teeth and swearing as he missed the darts, flubbed the ring toss, and failed to catch any fish, and then swore more when Kakuzu, after taking forever, observing others trying, managed to succeed at almost every one of them, winning Hidan various massive teddy bears and bunnies that they had to lug around for the rest of the day. Kisame kept trying to get people to go on the log flume, but Itachi (his first victim) spent an hour dripping when he walked, sniffing and sneezing, so the others were warned off. Sasori and Deidara spent most of the morning on a single rollercoaster, which had a camera, taking photo after photo, Deidara getting worked up because they would agree on a pose together, and then every time, Sasori would purposefully ruin the shot.Konan got everyone together to ride it as a group, so she could buy the resulting photo as a memory. They ended up taking two— one with them all doing their best to keep a straight, sombre face, in full funeral vibes (only slightly ruined by the fact they all had to hold onto their sunglasses to avoid losing them), and another making silly faces. The silly one was Konan’s favourite— Itachi was screaming his head off, all dignity forgotten, Kisame’s hands waved in the air, Kakuzu was pretending to (or actually) putting Hidan in a headlock, Sasori was making a ridiculous face like a snorting pig, Deidara had gone fully Blue Steel, and Pain and Konan were in front, tongues out with peace signs.In the late afternoon, everyone started fading a bit, and they took the bus back, stopping off in town to head to a bar. Konan was about to follow the others inside, when her phone rang. She waved Pain on before answering, realizing it was Holly’s personal number.“Hello?”“Konan.” Holly sounded relieved to hear her. Which was odd.“Hey, Holly… What’s up?”“Oh…” Holly paused, and cleared her throat. “Just… Just checking on a few things. How are you?”Konan frowned down at a cigarette stub in the parking lot.“Since when do you care how I am? ” she asked suspiciously.“Oh, Konan,” Holly half-sighed, half-groaned, “Fine, whatever, I hope you’re well.”“Yeah, I’m good.”“Good, good. Okay. Did— did a doctor come to see you recently?” Her voice went up, a little tense.“Uh… yeah. Yeah, Kabuto came to the school physical exams. Somehow. ” Konan snorted, rolling her eyes.“He… he did?” Holly’s voice definitely sounded odd. Not at all her usual snappy, I’m-better-than-you-and-you-bore-me tone. “One of your dad’s medical team?”“Yeah. What exactly is the problem?” Konan asked, crushing the cigarette stub into the pavement with her heel and glancing at the doors to the bar. “I mean it was annoying, but not weird. I mean, not weird for me. My friends thought it was weird…”“Yeah, I’m sure it was,” Holly muttered, sounding a little more like herself this time. Konan could picture her rolling her eyes.“So… Any special occasion for this call?” Konan asked after a second. Apart from anything else, she kind of had to pee.“Yeah, um… No…” Holly sighed. “Konan?”“Yeah?”“If your dad wants to take you anywhere this summer, or asks you to visit or anything… Say no.”Konan frowned harder, glancing again at the door to the bar. Pain had come out, giving her a questioning look. She waved at him, pointing to the phone. “Uh… what? Why?”“Just trust me.”“Well, if he was gonna ask me, you’d be the one telling me, right? So just—”“Just don’t go, damnit!” Holly snapped.There was a brief silence, then she sighed, and said, “I heard from your mum you’ve got a boyfriend.”“Um… Okay. Yes.”“That’s great, Konan. I'm happy for you. I hope he’s good to you.”
Why does she sound like she means it? And… kinda sad?
It was disorienting, Holly being nice. It was like the popular mean girl suddenly revealing she’s a normal human like everybody else.“Er, okay. Thank you, Holly… Yeah, he’s… he’s great.”“Good. Okay. Maybe you should—”Konan waited.“Hello?”Holly didn’t respond. “Holly? Are you still there?”There was a small beep, and the call was disconnected. Konan looked at the phone for a second. She gave it a minute, but Holly didn’t call back. “You coming in?” Deidara called from the door.“Yeah,” Konan said, walking over. She put her phone in her pocket with a shake of her head and strode inside, pausing to order her drink before hurrying to the bathroom. Holly never called back.—A week after Pain’s birthday, they were all called to Tsunade’s office and given detention for skipping class, and were assigned to clean and sort out all the used and old paint supplies in the art room.“I don’t get it,” Konan grumbled as she filled the mess sink with water and detergent. “I’ve skipped class before, and nobody makes a big deal. You just get an absence note on the term report.”“Yeah, why’re they making us do this shit? We didn’t blow anything up,” Deidara griped, pulling a wire comb through a paint-caked brush.“Dunno. You think they actually checked out the Hank’s funeral story?” Pain asked, glancing over at Hidan. “Did they call your family or anything?”Hidan snorted. “Fuck no, and my family aren’t fucking snitches, anyway. I bet my old man would’ve sworn up and down Hank was the best fuckin’ brother he ever had.”Konan laughed. “He sounds pretty cool.”“Yeah. A fuckin’ asshole sometimes, but he’s got a good side,” Hidan grinned, shrugging as he swirled a handful of brushes in a container of turpentine. “Even if they found out we skipped to go to the amusement park, it’s weird they’d bother to actually give us detention, still,” Kisame said, wringing out a cloth in the sink.“You think maybe it’s because we made such a big deal about it, with the fake funeral, and dressing up, that they bothered with this?” Pain asked drily.There was an awkward pause.“I mean… Whatever, it was worth it,” Konan said, grinning as she met Sasori’s amused gaze. “So we’re bad at subtlety, whatever.”“But still, how did they figure out it was BS?” Itachi asked musingly, scrubbing at a shelf with an old sponge.“Okay. Just to rule out total idiocy, nobody told anybody about the plan?” Kisame asked.They all shook their heads. After another twenty minutes of speculation, they gave up, deciding the teachers must have super surveillance technology or something, and the topic of conversation drifted to yearbooks, which would be coming out in a few weeks.“Did you guys fill out the survey?” Sasori asked.“Yeah, I put myself down for everything,” Hidan smirked. “Narcissist,” Kakuzu snorted. “You’ll win if they have ‘Most Delusional About His Own Talents’...”“Oh fuck off, Kakuzu,” Hidan laughed, chucking a pencil at him.“Did you guys submit any photos to the yearbook?” Konan asked. “I put some in, some good ones of us.”“Yeah? Like what?” Sasori asked suspiciously. “Not sneeze-gate, I fucking hope…”“ No,” Konan assured him as the others laughed. “Just some of us playing pool, the ones of us when we were sick, one from Valentine’s day…”“I sent some in!” Hidan said. “Thev’e gotta fucking print them, they’re…” He trailed off, leaving them hanging.“They’re what?” asked Itachi.Hidan was looking at Kakuzu, scuffing the toe of his sneaker on the floor, looking guilty.“What’s up?” Konan asked.“Let me guess,” Kakuzu said, watching Hidan and giving a long-suffering sigh. “You submitted a photo of us to the yearbook… which was taken at the amusement park, on the day of the supposed funeral.”“What!?” the others chorused as Hidan looked around guiltily.“And,” Kakuzu continued, examining his nails as Hidan went full perp-sweat, “Isn’t the staff member in charge of the yearbook club… Shizune, who saw us leaving, and who you specifically told about the funeral?”“Hang on, hang on, even if that’s… uh, true, um—”Hidan laughed and dodged as the others all chucked sponges and rags at him, yelling.—“Any plans for spring break?” It was early March. The school had been enjoying a break in the rain, and everyone was lounging around in the grass, having taken their lunch outside to enjoy the spring sunshine. Konan glanced at Pain, who nodded at Sasori.“We’re heading to my place to visit my family,” he said, nudging Konan with the toe of his shoe.“Sounds good,” Sasori said, taking a bite of his sandwich before getting clonked in the head by a rogue frisbee, courtesy of Hidan.As the others started running around and fighting, Konan leaned over to Pain.“Do you think your family will like me?” she whispered. He grinned at her. “‘Course they will. And anyway, it’s low stakes; hardly anybody will be home. Plus, if they don’t like you, I’lll disown them.”Konan laughed and gave him a shove.Despite this reassurance, she spent the next several evenings watching “How to Impress Your In-Laws” videos on Youtube and reading advice columns. Whatever Pain said about ‘low-stakes,’ the fact was, this was the first ever time she’d be meeting a boyfriend’s parents, and considering one of her own parents arguably didn’t really like her, she really wanted to make a good impression.She ended up packing what she knew were way too many clothes for a one-week trip, but she wanted to keep her options open. For the first day, she ended up going for ‘respectful and innocent,’ hopefully to convey that she had good intentions, and 100% definitely had not had their son’s cock in her mouth just two days ago. Definitely not. She met Pain at the front door of the dorm, wearing a pale blue knee-length floral dress with a matching cardigan. She had opted not to do her usual eyeliner, instead going for a more clean and natural look. Pain did a double take as she joined him, lugging her backpack behind her.“You look nice,” he said, his expression a little mystified.“Am I not supposed to?” she asked as they headed out the door.“No, just… You look like you’re going to a… picnic-vibe engagement party, or something.” Konan made a face. “Well, excuse me… ”Pain laughed as they headed down the stairs. “Sorry, sorry, you look really pretty, just different… ”It was a long bus ride to Pain’s house. They stopped for lunch half-way through, and the sun was starting to set by the time they walked up to the house. Konan fiddled anxiously with the bottom of her cardigan as Pain dug around for his keys.“What if your dad hates me?” she whispered.Pain snorted. “He won’t.”“What if he does, though?”“I’ll fight him to defend your honour,” Pain said sarcastically, unlocking the door. “But that won’t be necessary, because he’ll love you.”“You think I’m overdressed, right? Will your dad think I’m weird!?”“Konan, it’ll be fine,” Pain assured her, grinning as he swung the door open.“You know what, maybe I’ll come visit next year when I’m more mentally prepared,” Konan hissed, backing away even as Pain put his arm behind her to push her forward.“We’re here!” Pain called loudly, grinning at Konan’s look of horror. With a shove, he got her over the threshold, just as a shout of welcome came from somewhere down the hall.Konan hurriedly toed off her flats and put them in the shoe rack, then tried to stand as straight as she could, hands flitting between held together in front of her, at her sides, and held behind her back.“What are you doing?” Pain murmured, grinning as he watched her.“I can’t decide what is most respectful!” she hissed back, a note of hysteria in her voice. “God, I should have brought flowers, or wine, or, or, a salmon or something.”“Okay,” he murmured back, sliding her backpack off her shoulders for her, “You’re not a grizzly bear… It’s super cute that you’re so nervous to meet my family… But also, you need to calm down. It’s gonna be fine, and completely chill—”A piercing shriek made both of them about jump out of their skins.“You’re home!!!" A blur of orange hair and a bright green sweatshirt came barrelling down the hallway and threw herself at Pain. “Jesus, Annie,” Pain said, grabbing her in a hug and setting her down. “You almost broke my neck.”Annie looked similar to Pain, with orange hair and purple eyes, but she was shorter than Konan, and looked strong and wiry, like a volleyball player. She scoffed, swatting Pain hard in the chest. “Yeah right.” Pain shoved her back, grinning. “Konan, this deranged animal is my sister, Annie.”“Hi, it’s nice to meet you.” Konan smiled, hoping she looked normal and friendly, not startled or about to shit herself. It was hard to read from Annie’s expression whether or not she was succeeding at it. Pain’s sister looked her up and down, her catlike smile widening. “Ooh, so this is your famous girlfriend,” she said, putting her hands on her hips and walking all the way around Konan, like she was a casting agent or something.“Famous?” Konan asked, half-glancing at Pain, who was rolling his eyes.“She’s just being stupid,” Pain muttered, giving Annie another shove and picking up his and Konan’s bags. “Let’s go to my room, we can put this down…”“He talks about you all the tiiiime,” Annie groaned, pulling her cheeks to look like a zombie. “Every phone call, we’re like, ‘how’s school, how are your friends, how are your classes,’ and he’s like, ‘have I told you about how much I love my giiiirlllfrieeend?’ ”Pain aimed a kick at Annie, his cheeks turning pink. “Konan, would you believe that this irritating little pustule is actually in her second year of university?”Annie guffawed. “Are you calling me immature? Ooh, you’re so big and grown-up now, bringing your girlfriend over. Like I didn’t change your fricking diapers, ya beanbag!”“You didn’t, you were four.” Konan giggled as she followed Annie and Pain down the hall.“Hey! Who’s sneaking past without so much as a ‘Hello’ to their old man, huh?” A warm voice called from what Konan figured had to be the kitchen, given the smell of frying garlic.Pain turned, rolling his eyes, but smiling. “You ready?” he asked Konan in an undertone.She had no time to react before Pain’s father appeared, leaning against the doorframe, holding a spatula and wiping his free hand on the tea towel draped over his shoulder. He looked so similar to Pain, it was like a genetic copy-paste. He had the same hair and face shape. He was a bit shorter, a bit more tan, and had laugh lines around his mouth and eyes, which were brown instead of violet, but otherwise, they were mirror images of each other. “So,” he said, extending a hand to shake Konan’s. “This is the little lady you’ve been so anxious for us to meet, Deva.”Konan shook his hand, smiling nervously, but glanced at Pain, who explained, “It’s my first name.”Yahiko chuckled. “Teenagers, right? They all love a nickname. Well, it’s lovely to meet you at last, Konan. Call me Yahiko. I’m the bugger unlucky enough to be these menaces’ dad, of course.” He looked her up and down. “Did you two come from a party? Or… piano recital?”Konan blushed, her eyes falling to his own outfit of jean shorts with holes in them, flip flops, and a faded ZZ Top concert t-shirt. 
I am overdressed as hell.
“Dad, ” Pain said, rolling his eyes. “Shut up, she looks pretty.”“Oh, of course, she sure does,” Pain’s dad said, giving Konan a wink and grinning, his smile startlingly similar to his son’s. “I’m embarrassed myself, that’s all. We keep a pretty casual household, Konan, sorry I didn’t dress up for the occasion, but we are very happy to have you here. So happy, I’m making my special lasagne…”Konan followed him into the kitchen, which was warm, bright, and full of eclectic little knick knacks, its cupboards and walls hand-painted with birds and flowers.“I’ll just put these in my room,” Pain murmured to her, but as he turned to go with the bags, Yahiko blocked his way with a spatula.“Ah, ah, ah. Konan’s in the guest room.”Pain rolled his eyes. “Come on, dad.”“I will not come on. She’s a lovely young lady, and I’m sure you two enjoy spending time together, but you’ll not be sharing a room under my roof,” Yahiko said sternly. “Save something for the honeymoon, eh?” he shot at Konan with a quick wink, sending her bright red.“Stop, you’re being so embarrassing,” Pain sighed. Konan grinned; it really was fun to see Pain among his family. She’d never really thought about him being the youngest child, but it was really obvious now.“Nah, I don’t need you two kids makin’ more in my house,” Yahiko said drily. “I’m not a kid, ” Pain grumbled.“Besides, it’s no different to school. You’re in separate dorms, right?”Pain half-glanced at Konan, who bit down on a grin, shaking her head.“Right? ” Yahiko asked suspiciously.“Yep, right, same as usual, dad. I’ll put these in my room, and the guest room, then…”“You do that,” Yahiko said, stirring the garlic in the pan.Annie rolled her eyes and smiled at Konan. “Here, I’ll give you a tour.”Konan followed Annie to the living room, where there were a number of photo sets of Pain and his siblings at various ages. There seemed to be a large age gap between the oldest and youngest, so Pain’s oldest brothers were already married with families of their own. Konan spotted a large portrait of a woman she presumed was Pain’s mother, with dark hair and violet eyes. Annie showed her where the bathroom was, the closet for extra towels and bedding, and finally the guest room, where they found Pain setting her backpack down on the chair. It was dark green with wood floors and a plaid bedspread; it felt like being in a little cabin.They were just heading back to the kitchen when the doorbell rang.“Who could that be?” Annie asked Pain, who shrugged.She headed to the door. They heard her open it, and then a sudden burst of shrieks and laughter.“Um…” Konan said, looking at Pain. “That sounds like—”Before she could finish, Sasori and Deidara came into the hall, chatting loudly with Annie, who had an arm slung around Sasori’s neck.“What the hell are you doing here?” Pain asked, just as Deidara said, “We made it!”“You said we’re all coming to your place for spring break,” Sasori said, rolling his eyes as he walked forward to ruffle Konan’s hair. “Thanks for waiting for us, by the way.”“I meant me-and-Konan ‘we’, not you guys ‘we’!” Pain exclaimed as Annie laughed.“Oh, I’m so sorry, what a misunderstanding,” Sasori said, with a smirk that told Konan there had been no misunderstanding at all. “Well, since we’re here…” Deidara said with a shrug and a grin that plainly said, might as well make ourselves at home. “Hey, Papa Y!” he called into the kitchen.Yahiko appeared in the doorway, stirring a bechamel sauce. “Hey, boys,” he said in surprise. “You staying over?”“If you’ve got room,” Sasori said. “We brought you a focaccia.”“Ah! I knew I liked you,” Yahiko said with a grin. “You can use the spare room at the end of the hall.”“Cheers,” Deidara said, already heading that way with their bags.“Hey, hey, why do they get to share a room?” Pain asked his dad.“Because they are engaged, mister. Plus, I only have one other room that’s not full of junk. Plus, nobody’s at risk of getting pregnant, so their parents can’t call me up and yell at me.” “They’re not engaged,” Pain protested. “Promise ring counts as engaged under my roof, that’s the rule.”“I knew I liked you,” Sasori said to Yahiko. He turned to Konan. “You dressed for Wimbledon or something?” he asked, laughing when she gave him a shove.“Oh, shut up,” she muttered.It was a really fun dinner. As it turned out, Annie was the only one of Pain’s five siblings who was home, so it was just them, enjoying Yahiko’s lasagne with the focaccia Sasori and Deidara brought, and a round of wine.“So, Konan,” Yahiko began as she was clearing plates and he was scooping ice cream. “Tell me about your family.”“Oh, uh… there’s not a lot to tell, really,” Konan said as she filled the dishwasher.“Any brothers or sisters?” “Nope.”“What do your mum and dad do?”“Um, well my mum used to do modelling—”“Wow, a stunner, hey?”Konan smiled. “She was, yeah. She’s had some health problems, though.”“I’m sorry.”“It’s fine. She’s been sick for a long time, so I’m used to it.”“I see,” Yahiko said, doling out ice cream into bowls as Annie handed them out. “And your dad?”“Oh, he runs a company.”Yahiko whistled. “Businessman. What field?”“Um…” Konan caught Pain’s eye, and he grimaced. “Cosmetics… They fund a lot of research… Uh, genetic experimentation…”“I’ll put the ice cream away, dad,” Pain said, a little louder than needed, scooting in and grabbing the tub, opening the freezer.“Well, that’s pretty, uh, impressive,” Yahiko said after a pause, glancing at Pain. “Have you met these fine people then, Deva? Konan’s parents?”“Not yet,” Pain said with a quick smile at Konan. “You want chocolate syrup on your ice cream, or banana, or nuts?”As the night wound down, Sasori and Deidara headed off to bed, followed by Annie. Konan, feeling surprisingly tired, headed down the hall soon after, Pain going with her.“Separate rooms!” Yahiko called down the hall.“I’m just saying goodnight!” Pain called back, rolling his eyes.“You can say goodnight from the hall!” Yahiko called as Pain stepped through the door after Konan.“Dad, stop being neurotic! We’re seventeen, not seven!” Pain burst out, wheeling back and glaring down the hall.“I’d be less worried if you were seven! How old do you think I was when I knocked up your mum the first time?” Yahiko said loudly. “I know what you’re about, I’m wise to your game, your hormones are raging and you can’t think straight because you’ve found yourself a knockout, and you’re thinking if you’re lucky, you might be able to convince her to let you—”Konan was paralysed with silent laughter, looking at Pain, whose ears were now bright red. “Oh my god, dad, why are you being so embarrassing!? ” Pain groaned, shutting the door on Konan with an apologetic look and marching down the hall.The argument continued as Konan got ready for bed, but inevitably, of course, Yahiko put his foot down and Konan stayed where she was. The rest of the week passed very pleasantly, as they went on hikes around the countryside, watched movies, and played board games. After the first day, however, Konan deliberately wore t-shirts and hoodies for the rest of her stay.—On a Sunday afternoon, late in March, Konan was reading a comic book on Pain’s bed while he worked on a drawing assignment she had already finished, when, glancing over at his piercing and tattoo equipment on the shelf, an idea struck her. She had been feeling a little antsy for a while, and knew why — she wanted a new tattoo. She hadn’t gotten anything since the previous summer. Ever since she’d gotten her first piercing, she had only managed to go about eight months without adding something else. Another piercing, or a tattoo, or (briefly) dying her hair. She started to get a weird feeling, like she was in a rut, or stagnating. It didn’t make much logical sense, but she knew it when she felt it. She glanced over at Pain, biting down on a grin, wondering how he’d take it.“Is that stuff just for show?” she asked. When he looked up at her, she nodded at the shelf of equipment in glass cases. He gave her a funny smile, lowering his head back to his drawing. “No. I’m not that lame.”Konan put down her comic book, rolling over. “You give yourself tattoos?”“I have, yeah.”“Are you good?” He grinned, eyes still on his drawing. “You said you like my tattoos.”“I do.”“Well, there you go.”Konan bit her lips, kicking her heels in the air. “Have you ever tattooed anybody else?”Pain was clearly trying to concentrate, but not so much that he was bothered. “Uh… yeah. One of my brothers, and I did some stitches for Kakuzu on his ankle.”“That’s pretty cool.”“Yeah,” Pain said absentmindedly. Konan scooted closer to him, grinning. “Kinda gives me an idea.”“It does, huh?”“Yeah. I know somebody who really wants a tattoo…”“Uh huh?” Konan was fully grinning now. He was absolutely not really listening to her. “And they really want you to do it for them…”“Uh huh…”Konan waited. It took Pain a full minute to register what she was saying and look up at her. “You want a tattoo?” Konan nodded.Pain gazed at her, smiling confusedly. “You want me to tattoo you?”Konan slipped off the bed, getting to her feet. She pushed Pain’s rolling chair back gently away from his drawing and slid her knees either side of his hips, sitting in his lap. He held her at the waist, looking up at her. “  I would love you to tattoo me,” she said, sliding her arms around his neck, grinning as his eyes dropped to her lips and his smile widened.“Hmm, I’m not so sure it’s a good idea,” he said in a low voice, one of his hands slipping into her sweatpants, getting a grip on her ass. “You’ll have to convince me.”Konan giggled and lowered her face to kiss him, pressing him back into the chair, rolling her hips as she sucked his lower lip then slid her tongue into his mouth, leaning into him.“Hang on, wait, Ko–” Pain began, voice muffled as the back of the chair tipped backwards.With a squeak, she realized the chair was tipping back. In the second it took her to notice, it was too late. “No, no, no, no, no—!!” Pain yelled as they crashed backwards, Konan falling on top of him, both their legs tangling in the chair’s. Konan couldn’t stop laughing.She did manage to convince him in the end, though.A week later, she was laying on the bed, her arm on Pain’s bedside table which was covered with parchment paper, Pain in his chair, bending over her. She had decided on a stick-and-poke tattoo after seeing how much detail and shading he was able to do. His gloved hands were soft and warm on her skin as he worked, and she watched him, smiling.“So, why this design, then?” he asked her.Konan smiled. She loved his concentrating voice. It was gentle, a little vague around the edges somehow, as if he were sleepy. She had asked him for a sphere full of stars. “Hmm…” She closed her eyes. “It’s kind of embarrassing.”“What do you mean?”“Um… I don’t think I’ll explain it that well…”“Now worries. It’s just me.”“It's because it’s you…”“You think I’ll be judgemental about your tattoo choices?” Pain asked with a little snort of laughter. “No, just… The design makes me think of you.”“...Because I’m so round and sparkly?”Konan could hear the smile in his voice. She grinned, keeping her eyes closed. “ No, just… I don’t know. The night you took me on your bike for the first time, for my birthday, that was really… important to me. It meant a lot, and it’s a special memory for me,” she said, feeling shy. Pain stayed quiet, so she continued. “I remember the stars were shining really bright then, when we were talking, so I wanted them as a reminder. And the sphere… I guess I wanted, like, the memory to be held safe by something, somehow, like how I feel held and safe with you…” Her voice was getting quieter, and she dug her thumbnail into the pad of her index anxiously. “...And just… spheres are like, matter pulling into the centre, like the planets orbiting the sun, pulled in by this gravitational force. That probably doesn’t make sense,” she said, laughing a little, “I’m not great with physics or whatever, but… I always feel pulled in by you, like I always want to be closer and closer.”Pain’s hands lifted off her wrist and she heard him roll his chair closer. He bent down to kiss her softly on the mouth, then on both cheeks, her nose, and her forehead. “That’s very sweet,” he said with a smile when she opened her eyes. “You big sap, huh?”“Hey!”“It’s not a bad thing,” he whispered, kissing her again. “It’s very cute, and I love that about you.”Konan wrinkled her nose, feeling herself blushing.“It’s kind of a lot of pressure, getting a tattoo inspired by me when we’ve only been going out a couple months,” Pain said, shifting back to start working again. She glanced at him and saw he was grinning. “What are you gonna do if we break up?”Konan scowled. “I’ll say it’s a fucking Dragon Ball. Happy?”Pain laughed. “Yeah, that’s a good back up. You know what, it really does kinda look like one…”“No, it doesn’t…” “You gonna collect them all? Make a wish? Bring me back to life if I die?”“Stop it!!” Konan exclaimed, laughing. “Anyway, if I had a wish I’d wish for world peace. And then bigger boobs.”“Gotcha. The life of your boyfriend is as nothing compared with the possibility of a bigger rack, huh…”“Exactly.”Pain jerked his arm wildly, pretending to go outside the stencil. “Oh, whoops…”Konan laughed. “Hey!”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

In the late spring, the school prepared to host its annual end-of-term fair. The fair took place over one full day, and each student had to contribute an art project or installation for the decoration as usual, plus take a morning or afternoon shift in one of the dozens of themed booths that would make up the fair itself. Apparently the school always rented other equipment, like spinning teacups, a ferris wheel, and various food trucks, but much of the entertainment was provided by the students themselves.The themed booths had been decided by write-in votes, and would be assigned to groups of students, class by class. Konan, Pain, and Sasori were in gym class when Guy announced the groups and booths would be decided. “To make sure everything is fair, we’ll be drawing straws,” Guy said, wheeling out a blank whiteboard. He divided the class into groups of ten. He brought the first group out and held out an opaque container packed with straws. “Draw!” he cried, and Konan watched as the students all pulled straws, some ten inches long, others only tiny stubs. “Five shortest straws, come here… You’re group A. Five longest, you’re group B.”He proceeded in this fashion through the class. Konan drew a tiny nubbin of a straw and was assigned to group D along with Sasori, Sasuke, Sakura, and Sai. Pain, Hidan, Ino, Choji, and Neji were all in group E. Once everyone had a group, Guy sat them back down again, in their groups, and flipped over the white board. All the themed booths were listed, with a pink bracket drawn around those apparently assigned to their class, and pink letters denoting which group got which booth. Her jaw dropped in horror when she saw which one was labelled ‘D’.
Kissing Booth.
The other options, assigned to the other groups, were fortune telling, maid café,  face painting, test your strength, fun house, and dunk tank, which is what group E got assigned to.Konan glanced in dismay at Pain, who shrugged and grimaced back at her.“How many people are we gonna have to kiss?” she asked Sasori. “Aren’t we all gonna get mono, or herpes, or something?”Sasori shrugged. “Personally, I’m more worried about getting strangled.”Konan grinned. “Deidara’s not gonna believe you didn’t volunteer for this?”“Oh, probably not,” Sasori replied cheerfully.—While the school prepared for the fun fair, students crowding the studios and hallways, working on their booths and installations, Konan had something else to worry about. As the end of term approached, she was starting to worry about where she would spend the summer holidays. Normally, her immediate choice would be with her mum, at the apartment by the hospital. But she hadn’t heard from her mother for a few weeks; her calls and texts had gone unanswered. She hadn’t forgotten Holly’s mysterious warning not to accept any offers of travel from her father, but she hadn’t had the chance to turn him down— she hadn’t heard from him either, either directly or through Holly. She was starting to wonder whether she’d have anywhere to stay, since the school would be closed. On her lunch break, Konan tried phoning her mum’s cellphone, extension, and finally the front desk at the hospital, for the third time that week. “Heiwa Private Hospital, Long Term Care, how may I direct your call?”“Hi, again, I’m calling for Nao Ame, I’m her daughter?”“Oh, yes, I remember you calling the other day,” the receptionist said. “Let me see… Okay, your mother is unavailable at the moment.”“Right,” Konan sighed. It had been the same answer for weeks now.“From what I can see, she’s been discharged for the day, she’s out with a visitor.”It took Konan to register that. “What?”“She’s out for the day, dear. A visitor has taken her for some fresh air.”“Who? Who is it?” Konan asked.“I’m afraid we can’t disclose that information, dear.” Could it… Is there any way it’s my dad? Konan wondered wildly. I mean, it has to be, unless it’s another specialist or something… But he never visits her. “Sorry?” Konan asked, realizing abruptly that the receptionist had been speaking.“Was there anything else I can help you with, dear?”“Oh, no, thank you.”“Take care, then.”Konan heard the click of the phone as the receptionist hung up, and kept staring into space, chewing her thumbnail. Almost on autopilot, she dialled Holly’s cell number. It didn’t ring out. Instead, an automated voice told her that the number she had reached was not in service. She tried again, and got the same message. Frowning down at her phone, she called her father’s company line.“MIRAI corporation,” said a flinty, lightly accented voice.Konan’s frown deepened. “Holly?”“Pardon, could you repeat that?”“Who’s this?”“You have reached the office of the executive branch for the MIRAI Corporation. How may I direct your call? Alternatively, if you have the extension of the person you wish to reach, you can enter it now.”Konan hung up.A few minutes later, she called back, biting her thumb anxiously.“MIRAI Corporation.”“Hi, sorry, I called earlier. I was wondering, is Holly Campbell available?”“I’m sorry?”“Holly Campbell, Senior Assistant to the CEO, or something?”“My apologies,” the voice said after a pause, “I’m not seeing anyone listed at this company by this name.”“Were you just hired?”“I’m sorry,” the voice said after another pause, “Who is this?”Konan hesitated.“Hello?’ the voice asked, sounding irritated now. “The CEO, Shin Arakaki, is my father,” she said eventually. “Listen, if you’re new, I’m trying to get in touch with your predecessor. Did Holly leave a forwarding number or anything?”This time, there was a long pause on the other end. “Oh… hello, Miss Konan. I believe the person you are asking about left to travel,” the voice said. “I’m afraid I don’t have any other information. Goodbye.”“Wait—”The receptionist hung up. Konan scowled and redialled.“MIRAI Corporation.”“Is my father in the office today?”“Miss Konan, I can’t give out that information.”“What? Why not?”“For security reasons.”“Well, if you can transfer me to him, won’t that make it obvious he’s there!?”“Is this a request to speak with the CEO?”“Yeah, yeah it is,” Konan said, scowling.“I’m afraid he is unavailable at this time. Would you like to schedule a pre-arranged call?”“Well is he ‘unavailable’ or is he not actually physically there!? ” Konan burst out, feeling the beginnings of a headache.“I don’t appreciate your tone.” 
And I don’t appreciate how goddamn USELESS you are deliberately being!!
Konan took a deep breath, willing herself to calm down. “I’m sorry. What’s your name?”The receptionist hesitated.“I’m not gonna complain about you or something,” Konan said with a light laugh. “I’ll probably be talking to you a lot, so I’d like to know who I’m calling.”“Oh, I see,” the voice said, a degree warmer, and Konan knew she had been right that the receptionist was worried about repercussions. “My name is Alma, Miss Konan.”“Alma?”“Yes, but I should tell you that personal calls to this number are not allowed, Miss. Unless you have a specific request or you would like to be transferred to your father for a personal call, I will need to hang up.”“What?” Konan asked, startled. “But you just said my dad is unavailable, anyway!”“Yes, he is. Do you have any specific requests?”“Um, not really, but—”“Goodbye, then.” Alma hung up.Konan stared down at her phone, fighting a strong urge to chuck it as far as she could.
What the hell was that!? Has she been warned not to talk to me? And what the fuck’s going on with Holly, giving me some kind of cryptic warning not to visit Dad, then fucking off to Barbados or wherever she’s gone!? 
Annoyed as she was, she had several nagging doubts hanging over her for the rest of the week. For one thing, she hadn’t managed to confirm either way whether or not it was her dad who had taken her mum out for the day, visiting her for the first time in a decade. For another, she wondered whether Holly had actually gone on vacation, or whether she had in fact been fired, and if so, judging by Alma’s behaviour, had she been fired for her relatively close relationship with her?She had little time on which to dwell, however, as the preparations for the fun fair ramped up. Konan had partnered with Ino on the installation project; they were making a huge origami star, which opened at the start of the fair, releasing hundreds of dried flowers. The star was so big, Konan had to keep it in the gym as she worked on it. When she met up with Ino to discuss the configuration, and what Ino needed in terms of an internal holding pocket for the flowers she was pressing and drying by the batch, Ino spent several minutes quizzing her about her skincare and make-up routine, rather than the origami.“I mean, it’s like you’ve suddenly got glass skin,” she said, peering at Konan’s cheek.“Uh… okay…”“Your skin was not this good. If anything, it was kind of oily…”“Gee, thanks.”“...and your dark circles are gone…”“What dark circles?”“ Honey, you were like a vampire,” Ino said with a giggle.“Okay, okay, can you knock it off and focus, please?” Konan asked, irritated. “We have two weeks left!”“Oh, fine,” Ino sighed, looking back down at Konan’s diagrams and measurements. “You on any new meds, though? Vitamins? Serums?”“Um… thyroid medication.”Ino raised an eyebrow. “Huh. When did you go to a doctor for that? Or was it Shizune?”“You’re really full of questions today,” Konan snapped, tapping the sheet with her pencil.“I’m just asking out of concern for my friend,” Ino said, pretending to be hurt.Konan rolled her eyes. “My family doctor came to the medical exams, and that’s when I got the prescription. Happy?”She had expected this to result in more questions from Ino, but on the contrary, Ino just raised her eyebrows and whistled before focusing once more on the diagrams.—On the day of the end of term fair, Konan put on a white sundress, and filled her pocket with lip chap. The funds from the fair booths would be split between paying for a back-to-school party in September, various student scholarship funds, and charities voted by the student body, so theoretically, it was all for a good cause, but she still didn’t want to do the kissing booth. She figured that all the students who had written it in as an option had all imagined they wouldn’t be in charge of it.  Aside from anything else, it’s especially weird since the fair is open to friends, families, and the public, and all of us are minors … Maybe I can just strategically need to pee or feel sick if some horrible gross guy gets in line…  In the end, she hadn’t really needed to worry. Tsunade herself spent much of the day camped out by the kissing booth, next to a sign letting fairgoers know the booth was for students only. Sasuke had, to the surprise of no one in the group, skived off and was nowhere to be seen for the whole day, disappointing a huge gang of students who had excitedly raced up at the start of the fair, asking where he was. Sai ended up chasing away half the people who lined up for him, as his habit of brutal honesty saw people turn back and hurry, red-faced, back into the crowd. Konan and Sakura caught each other’s eyes, trying to hold back laughter as Sai, with an angelic smile on his face, told Karin her breath smelled like cabbage.Sakura got most of the requests, but her habit of questioning what each customer had eaten that morning, and vigorously brushing her teeth, flossing, and gargling with mouthwash between customers apparently offended them, so her line got thinner and thinner as the morning went on.Sasori had no customers at all, to Konan’s surprise.“I would’ve thought there’d be a stampede for you,” she said, frowning.“Oh thanks,” he said with a grin. “Is this your way of confessing your feelings to me?”“ No, you’re just…” She gestured vaguely at his face. “I dunno. You have pretty eyes, and you’re very sexy—”“Oh, thanks!”“—And in this scenario, they don’t have to deal with your grating personality.”“Oh, thanks.”  “Well, I’m being serious. Nobody’s even asked for you,” Konan said with a frown.Sasori tipped back on his plastic chair, crossing his feet on the booth table. “It’s no question why.”Konan gave him a quizzical look, and Sasori jerked a thumb behind them. Deidara was leaning against one of the tent supports a few feet away, arms folded, his face like thunder. He almost seemed to be emanating a powerful dark aura, like a demonic miasma. “Oh,” Konan said. “Yeah, that makes sense now.”At that moment, a little brown-haired fourth year girl sidled up for the booth in Sasori’s line-up lane, caught sight of Deidara, and hurried away again with a frightened squeak.“At least I have my dignity,” Sasori said with a sideways grin at Konan, who was on her break. “ I’m available, not a kept fancy woman.”“Oh, be quiet. At least I’m making some money, unlike you!”Konan had only had one customer, who had essentially purchased her for the day. At the start of the fair, Pain had come by, budged in the line in front of Konan until he was at the front, ignoring the complaints of the guys behind him, and sat down in the chair across from her. “How much is one kiss?” he asked, grinning at her.“It’s three for one,” Konan replied.“Okay. Is there a time limit?”Konan pointed to the alarm clock on the table next to her. “One kiss gets you one minute.”“Wow, a minute-long kiss, huh?” He whistled. “That’s actually a long time.”She grimaced. “I know, I’m concerned.”“Still, the price adds up.”“It’s for a good cause.” She smiled at him, raising her eyebrows.“Hurry up already!” someone called from behind Pain, but he ignored them.“Well, if it’s for a good cause, how could I refuse … ?” Pain grinned, opening his wallet. “Let’s see, you’ve got…” He turned to check out the line for Konan. “Nine guys lined up already.” He whistled again and Konan laughed. “Popular girl. What if I lay down a hundred, and I get to keep you to myself for your whole shift?”Konan stared as he counted the cash and slid it across the table. “I mean, nobody said you can’t do that, but… Actually, you’d be significantly underpaying.”“Are you gonna tell on me?” Pain asked, leaning forward and smirking.Konan shook her head, leaning forward, too. “Nope.”“Good,” Pain whispered, grinning. He cupped her face and kissed her, slow and soft and sweet. Konan didn’t bother setting the timer.—Once the morning shift was over, Konan and Sasori wandered around, checking out the other booths. Pain was on duty at the dunk tank, and they had fun cat-calling him as he wandered around shirtless, giving balls to ticket buyers to throw at the target, trying to get one of the students balanced on boards to fall into the water. Ino was, unsurprisingly, the favourite to get in the water, but she seemed pretty pleased with it — Konan noticed she must have deliberately worn her neon green bra so it showed under her soaked white t-shirt.“You think she’s going after the prize?” Konan asked Sasori.“I think she’s probably already won it,” Sasori said, eying the jar full of cash Pain had under his arm, most of it likely from Ino’s customers. Tsunnade had announced that the student booth that raised the most money would win a prize, which according to popular rumor was a hot tub party. Judging from the jar brimming with fives, Ino’s group were definitely a contender.After that, they swung by the maid cafe, where Hinata and Tenten were understandably the most popular requests, then went through the haunted house to find Hidan. And they did find him, when he leaped out at them, giving a horrifying, guttural scream, covered in blood and very realistic prosthetics to look like he’d been impaled by a large spike and disembowelled. Konan actually fainted, which Sasori teased her about for the rest of the day, but when she’d recovered, she argued back that not only had she not had lunch yet and thus was also dealing with low blood sugar, but that anyone would be terrified by that experience, and judging by the amount of people emerging from the haunted house shaking, pale, and crying, she was right. Deidara and Kakuzu weren’t much better – somehow they’d all ended up in the same group, and as Sasori had been half-walking, half-carrying Konan through the haunted house, they’d found Kakuzu covered in stitches, looking like his skin was stretching and tearing outwards, and Deidara, strapped to a table with a crazy moving prosthetic tongue bursting out of his chest like a scene from Alien. Near the end of the fair, the faculty set up tables where students could pick up their yearbooks. Konan and her friends went to grab one each, and sat down on the bleachers to go through them. Konan had, of course, missed picture day in late September, so her photo was blank, but a lot of the photos they had submitted had been accepted. Hidan burst out laughing when he saw that the picture that had gotten them all detention had actually been accepted, and was printed as a full page spread; all of them licking ice cream, squashed on one bench in front of the rollercoaster. One of the ‘Awkward Family Photo’ style pictures Sasori and Deidara had taken for their engagement, of Sasori smiling, doing an arm shelf pose in front of a dark background, with Deidara’s head, superimposed on one side. There was a photo of Hidan and Kakuzu, evidently after one of their fights in town, making peace signs on either side of Shizune, both of them with black eyes. There was a photo of Itachi and Sasuke in the snow, Itachi poking his little brother in the forehead as he often did. Kisame had a really epic picture that took up half a page, where he was splashing out of the swimming pool mid-butterfly stroke. Konan was surprised to find one of her, crouched on the ground, folding thousands of white feathers for her angel wings. By far her favourite was one she knew Deidara had taken, of Pain lifting her up and spinning her around, both of them laughing, out in the fields in the rain, both of them in their gym clothes. “Guess who got ‘Cutest Couple,’ Sasori said, leaning into Deidara and grinning. “You’re not serious,” Deidara deadpanned, staring down at the page Sasori was pointing to triumphantly. “Oh my god… ”Konan laughed and leaned over Sasori’s shoulder to see. There was a ranked list under a bubble letter heading.
Sasori & Deidara (5th year)
Shikamaru & Temari (4th year)
Pain & Konan (5th year)
Asuma & Kurenai (Faculty)
“Oh my gosh!” Konan said in surprise, elbowing Pain to get him to look, too. “People voted for us!” “I feel like our friend group is overrepresented in here,” Itachi said, leaning in too. “Who exactly did they poll for this?”“Hey, can it. We can’t help being adorable,” Pain said, pulling Konan into him and kissing her forehead. “My sweet baby angel!”“Honeybunny!” she answered back dramatically, laughing as Itachi, Sasori, and Kisame all pretended to be sick. At the end of the fair, everybody split up to help pack up their booths. Konan and Sasori finished first — although the Kissing Booth tent had been decorated, it was certainly easier to pack up than the entire haunted house set Hidan’s group had created, or the large dunk tank. When they finished, Tsunade announced that they would be holding a pizza party in the cafeteria. Konan joined the others as they headed upstairs to change. Pain was still damp from being plunged into the water (Sasori had spent a certain amount of money taking shots to dunk him), and Hidan, Kakuzu, and Deidara all had a varying amount of prosthetics and paint to get off. As she shut the door of her room, her phone rang. It was an unlisted number. She let it ring out the first time, figuring it was spam, but they immediately called back. On the third attempt, she picked up.“Hello?”“Hello, my girl.”It took her a second to register who it was.“...Dad?”And because she could not remember a single time in her life when her father had called her himself.“I’ve some bad news to tell you.”Konan frowned, sitting on the edge of her desk. “...Okay… If this is you cancelling on some summer plans you didn’t tell me about yet, that’s fine, I don’t want to go, anyway.”“Konan, your mother is dying.” “...What?”It felt like a sinkhole was opening beneath her, an inescapable void yawning open, a place that made no sense, and she was caught, suspended in stunned continued animation, a Looney Tunes character walking on clouds, seconds before a fall.“We’re flying her home for palliative care.”Konan couldn’t feel her face“What?” she repeated numbly, tongue like cotton.“She’s asking for you.”It was only when they started to spill, dropping heavy onto her knees that Konan realized the blurring of her vision had been from tears.“Can you put her on?” she asked, voice wobbling.“She’s sleeping,” her father replied. “Don’t cry, my girl. I’ve made travel arrangements for you, so you can come home and say goodbye.”--By the time Pain came to find her, she was a sobbing mess, curled up on her bed, face red and swollen, buried in her pillow.“Hey,” he said, voice lowering as he saw her. She heard him lock the door and walk iver, felt him sit lightly on the edge of the bed, his hand light on her back. “What’s wrong, baby?”Konan tried to speak, but didn’t quite manage it. Pain waited as she forced herself up, wiping her face on her pillow.“I have to go,” she choked out, “Can you tell me what happened?” Pain asked softly as she sait up, shifting to the edge of the bed, wiping her eyes.She looked at him, taking in his worried eyes, and immediately lost what little control she had tried to regain, collapsing into him, pressing her face into his chest as she broke down crying again, sobbing her heart out.Pain rubbed her back and waited. “My dad called,” she finally said, “My mum is dying.”His eyes widened and his hand stilled on her back for a second. “Oh, my god, honey. I’m so, so sorry.” Konan looked down, crying again, feeling his gaze on her. “Is there anything I can do?”She shook her head, sniffing. “I have to pack. My dad ordered a car.”“Okay,” he murmured.Konan got up and started grabbing clothes from her dresser and shoving them in a bag. Pain watched her silently, knowing not to interrupt, until she picked up her yearbook.“You sure?” he asked, voice still low but she heard the concern.She looked down at the cover. “I wanted to show my mum. I want her to see you guys.”Pain leaned forward, lowering his head. “That’s really, really sweet. But baby, I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”Konan’s fingers tightened on the book as she flared up immediately. “Oh, cause I have such a fucked up family I can’t even show a fucking yearbook to them!?” she exclaimed, angrier than she really felt but not able to contain it. “You really think my dad’s so fucking crazy he’s gonna steal this or something, like he has nothing fucking better to do when my mom is…” She was crying again before she’d even finished the sentence. Wordlessly, Pain got up, slow and soft, and guided her into his arms. The yearbook fell to the floor with a thud as she buried her face in his shoulder.The car arrived forty-five minutes later. Konan stood with her friends outside the school as it pulled up. Her father had phoned the school to inform them, and Shizune had stopped by to share her condolences and to tell Konan not to worry about end of term assignments, and they’d speak about it when she got back.Pain had told the others what happened, at Konan’s request since she wanted to say goodbye, but couldn’t face saying the words. Pain’s arm was around her waist, Sasori’s around her shoulders as they had waited for the car. Now it was, here, they let go and she stepped forward. It was one of her dad’s company cars. The driver rolled down the window.“Time to come with me, miss.”Konan nodded, but couldn’t seem to make herself move. As though from lightyears away, she heard Holly’s voice, faint and half-remembered. If your dad tries to take you anywhere this summer… Say no. The driver glanced at the others, then back at Konan. “We should hurry. Your mother doesn’t have much time,” he said quietly, his eyes serious.Konan nodded and swallowed.“Do you want me to come with you?” Pain murmured, picking up her bag for her. “Just for the drive?”Konan squeezed his hand. “Yes, please,” she whispered back.She turned around to hug the others, getting words of comfort and pats, and a ruffle of her hair from Kisame. Then Pain opened the door of the car for them to get in. “No passengers, miss,” the driver said abruptly, seeing Pain about to follow Konan. “He’s just coming for the drive, until we get to the airport,” Konan said. “I’ll take a taxi home,” Pain added, but the driver shook his head. “Sorry, miss. Just you. I have instructions.”Konan looked at Pain. He pulled her into a hug. “It’s okay. Go, be with your family,” he whispered, stroking her hair.“Okay,” Konan said, voice breaking. “Bye…” She could hardly bear to say it.“Take care of your mom, and yourself. Be safe, call if you can. I love you,” Pain said, kissing her forehead. And then he was gone, climbing out of the car, shutting the door.The driver wordlessly started the car and peeled away from the school. Konan waved to her friends, crying, startled by the sudden departure. All too quickly, they were at the end of the drive and speeding down the road, the school shrinking then hidden by trees.Konan cried for the first half hour of the drive, exhausting herself. She watched the countryside blur as they passed, eyes glazed over. Eventually, though, she noticed they weren’t going the right way.“Why aren’t we going to the airport?” she asked thickly, sniffing and sitting up straight.The driver’s brown eyes flicked to her, then back at the road. “Flights are delayed. You’re taking a helicopter, then a private plane. Your father will meet us. He’s landed at an old army helipad, it’s a bit out of the way. But it will be faster than chancing a commercial flight.”Konan frowned, but said nothing, turning to look out the window again. By the time they reached the disused army base, Konan had fallen asleep. When she awoke to the driver calling her name, it was dark outside, and raining. A bright light was shining through the windscreen, blinding her as she opened her eyes, and she could hear a loud rhythmic sound she had to imagine was the helicopter.She got out of the car, rubbing her eyes. Almost immediately, the driver’s hand was on her back, pushing her forward towards the black helicopter illuminated under huge floodlights through the driving rain.“Hey!” Konan said, stumbling and slipping on the tarmac, but she couldn’t hear herself or any potential reply over the deafening noise of the propeller.The side door of the chopper swung open and she clambered inside, looking around. A man she didn’t recognize, wearing a dark turtleneck and puff coat, sat on one seat. There was another available, and a plastic screen dividing the back from the cockpit. The man in the coat handed her a bulky pair of headphones, which she pulled on. Instantly, the noise was reduced. She sat down when he gestured.“There she is.” Her father’s voice came through the headset, loud and slightly fuzzy. Konan saw the figure in the front twist around slightly, and recognized her father’s profile. “Get your seatbelt on.”Konan turned back to look at the driver, holding out a hand for her bag. He shook his head and shut the door of the helicopter.“What about my stuff?” Konan asked aloud without meaning to, staring out the window as the driver headed back to the car.“Don’t be silly,” came her father’s voice through the headset. “Is her seatbelt on?”“No, sir,” grunted the man in the coat next to her. Konan glanced at him and reached for the cross belt, fumbling with it.“Konan, I won’t ask again,” her father sternly, like she was five years old. “I know, I’m… How is mom? What’s happening?” Konan asked, gazing through the plexiglass divider.“She is with the medical team. Seatbelt?”The metal plug clicked in Konan’s hands. “It’s in place,” the coat guy said into his headset.“Good. Take off,” her father ordered. Konan felt the helicopter vibrating even more, and a slight swaying movement as they left the ground. She looked out the window as they rose into the air, but could see nothing at all except for the floodlights illuminating the rain below as they rose into darkness. She bit her lip, her whole body tense as a compressed spring as her mind whirled, thoughts and images flitting through it so quickly she barely grasped one when it was replaced by another. Holly’s out of service phone number. Pain holding her as she cried. Holly’s warning, not to go anywhere her father took her. Pain, pale and shaking with disgust at Sasori’s kitchen table, telling her about the forum. The long-term care receptionist saying her mother had been taken out for the day by a visitor. Pain’s face, open and amazed, eyes blown dark as he held her under the pink and purple string lights. Her father on the phone, saying her mother was dying.“Put this on, miss,” the man in the coat said, passing her a respirator. “We’re going through a low-pressure area.”Konan took it, watching as he slid a respirator over his own face. “Doesn’t this thing automatically adjust cabin pressure or something?” The man shook his head. Konan pulled the respirator over her face and turned back to the window. She pressed her forehead against the thick glass and closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them, subtle movement to her side caught her eye and she turned to see the man in the coat pulling back and taking out a phone, texting. She watched him suspiciously for a few seconds, wishing she could shift away from him, wishing her dad was back here, too. Wishing, briefly, that despite the terror for her mum that hummed at the base of her skull and had not abated since she heard the news, that she hadn’t come at all.She frowned, leaning back in her seat. She felt dozy, sleepy. Something was poking in her shoulder. She grabbed at it. It took a couple tries, as her arm was slow and heavy. A flexible plastic tube was caught between her and the seat, She tugged it clumsily. It pulled on her respirator. Her fingers followed the tube up to the respirator itself; it was plugged into an input gauge at the side. She frowned and tried to tug it out, but a large cold hand closed around her wrist. She tried to free herself, but had no strength.“Dad?” she asked, voice faint, before darkness swallowed her.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Pain lay on his bed, fingers drumming on the back of his phone, chewing the inside of his cheek, only slightly aware of the gnawing hunger of his stomach. Sasori had come by a couple hours ago, said something about dinner, and later dropped off a take-out box of food which was now cooling on Pain’s desk. He was gazing at the blinking green light of his laptop in the darkness, trying, as he had been doing all day, to convince himself that just because he hadn’t heard from Konan in a week and a half, it didn’t necessarily mean that anything terrible had happened to her.When it had only been a few days, he had been able to manage himself better. A few days were nothing. Of course Konan hadn’t answered his messages. Of course not, she had her mother to worry about, she probably had a long flight. And maybe things with her mother were so bad she couldn’t think of anything else, and that was so fair. In her shoes, he knew he’d be completely lost, unfocused on anything else. He had figured that things were probably really crazy and chaotic. He had sent her a few messages, asking if she'd landed, how the flight was, how things were going, that he was thinking of her, and hadn’t got a reply. That wasn’t particularly unexpected. Maybe her mother had passed away already. Or not, and maybe the doctors were trying something else. Konan was probably sleeping by the hospital, holding her mother’s hand. Maybe she’d forgotten her charger, even. A couple days later, he checked a few airport fashion blogs where she’d been photographed and posted before, but there was nothing. Again, it wasn’t necessarily weird; her father was taking her for a family emergency, perhaps he hadn’t even thought about or cared what she wore to the airport on this occasion. This was a little unusual, given how Konan had described him, bit again, not necessarily unbelievable. But, possibly because of the trouble she’d gotten into the last time she’d traveled alone (he smiled slightly, imagining her face if she heard him say that), he was having a bad feeling about the whole thing, and was having trouble convincing himself it was irrational. Finally, after another half hour of trying to talk himself out of it, he texted her again. 
Hey, thinking of you, hope you’re doing okay. Could you text me when you get a sec? Just so I know you’re alright. Miss you, and I love you. Take care of yourself. 
He tossed his phone down the bed and got up, head spinning for a minute as he realized how hungry he was. He stood up, holding the wall, wondering vaguely when the last time he’d eaten was, and hit the lights, squinting and blinking in the sudden brightness. He grabbed the take-out box Sasori had dropped off and took a huge mouthful of stone-cold chow mein, opening his laptop screen with a socked toe and hitting play on the episode of How to Get Away with Murder he’d fallen asleep to the night before.He was doing a pretty good job at distracting himself until Itachi knocked once and came in, carrying his own laptop, a crease between his eyebrows.“I think maybe you should see this.”—Konan woke up slowly. She had a feeling she’d been drifting in and out of consciousness for a few minutes, or maybe hours. Maybe longer. She vaguely remembered hearing voices before, conversations she couldn't retrieve, her memory thick and slow like molasses. She remembered being cold, and bright lights, and the sound of wheels on linoleum, like a shopping cart being pushed through a store.Her eyelids were heavy. Her mouth tasted stale. She heard voices around her, again, not trying to be quiet. When she blinked, bright fluorescent lights dazzled her eyes, and she squinted. She wasn’t in her bed. She felt weak, and heavy. She didn’t bother trying to raise her head at first. When her eyes adjusted, she saw a white pillowcase, blue bedsheet, thin white blanket. She felt something scratchy and papery against her skin. She was on a bed, with high, grey plastic sides. The room she was in was white, sterile-looking. She inhaled, somehow knowing she needed to brace herself for this, like she’d done it before, and turned her head, groaning in pain as she sat up. A stabbing pain shot through her abdomen, like really bad period cramps. Her head span and instantly she felt sick, like she was about to throw up. “Awake again?” She knew that voice.“Going to be sick?”Another familiar voice, but first things first. She nodded, the movement not helping the situation. A cardboard container was pressed into her hands not a second too late, and she vomited into it, her body groaning in pain as she did. A pair of gloved hands took the container of sick away, then passed her a plastic cup of water and another container. “Rinse and spit,” the second voice said briskly. Konan obeyed, swishing water around her mouth a couple times and spitting into the container, then drinking the rest. She passed both containers back, then raised her head slowly, breathing hard through her nose, and squinted at the two figures in front of her.Kabuto set the water and spit containers into a plastic bin in the corner of the room, where a masked nurse in blue removed them, then he turned back to her, adjusting his glasses and giving her a porcelain doll smile that didn’t reach his eyes.The other man, the one who had spoken first, stood at the end of her bed, smiling down at her. In his case, the smile was too big, his narrowed eyes snakelike and unnerving. A silver insignia of what looked like a supplicant figure was embroidered on the breast pocket of his lab coat . Konan glanced at Kabuto and saw he had a matching insignia on his coat, and he was holding a clipboard with it embossed on the front, over the word Andromeda. “What’s going on?” Konan asked. Her voice was rough and dry. She took another sip of water, her eyes flicking between the two men. Orochimaru and Kabuto, her dad’s lead medical doctors. She hadn’t seen Orochimaru since September, and was incredibly glad of it; aside from his visits always meaning many tests and injections, he gave her the creeps. Kabuto, of course, she had seen in the spring, up at the school.“We’re resuming your treatment,” Orochimaru said in his soft, silky voice, pressing a button on the end of her bed to tilt the top half of her bed up, so she didn’t have to strain to look at them. “We haven’t seen the developments we’d expected at this stage, so we’re having to… accelerate things. It’s quite exciting, really. Quite… experimental. ” “I’m sorry?” Konan asked, completely lost. “What the hell are you talking about? What happened? Why am I… here?” she asked, looking around the stark white room full of machinery, charts, and monitors. As she turned, pain flared in her chest and she winced. “And why do I ache everywhere?”Kabuto glanced at Orochimaru, who smiled and turned his back on her, to face a monitor, with what looked like a load of data and chemical modelling on it. “We’re taking care of you, Konan,” Kabuto said, putting a cool hand on Konan’s shoulder. “As Dr Orochimaru mentioned, the treatments are experimental, and will be hard on your body. But please describe the sensations you are experiencing.”Konan stared at him. “What exactly is wrong with me!?” she asked, hearing a beeping sound getting faster with her heartbeat. “Your father will be here soon to explain,” Orochimaru said from the corner.“What are you feeling, Konan? Itching? Pain?” Kabuto asked again.At the last word, Konan did a double-take. “How long have I been here!?”“Please describe what you are feeling.” Kabuto repeated, still friendly and polite, but with a hard note in his voice that told Konan she’d better answer him.She took stock. “My head hurts, I feel kind of sick still, my chest really aches, my thighs are kind of… itchy… um…” She narrowed her eyes, glancing from Kabuto to Orochimaru. She felt kind of like she had after Kabuto had performed the Pap smear on her. Achy deep inside, at her cervix, and kind of cold and weird. “What exactly have you done to me?” she asked slowly.Orochimaru turned to face her, flipping a chart over. He had just opened his mouth to speak when the door opened with a beep and the sound of an automatic lock sliding out of place, and her father walked in, wearing a black suit and medical mask, adjusting his cufflinks.“Dad!” Konan exclaimed, partly out of shock, but mostly because, in a strange and completely unfamiliar twist, she was actually happy to see him. It only lasted about five seconds, however, as he glanced in her direction, then immediately walked over to Orochimaru and asked for an update in a low voice. “Dad, what the fuck is going on!?” Konan demanded.Her father didn’t look at her, but immediately snapped, “Don’t you dare use that disgusting language when addressing me.”Konan swallowed, heart hammering, the beeping intensifying correspondingly. She shut her eyes tight and opened them again, trying to banish the fuzzy edges from her mind. She was suddenly very aware of the various intravenous needles, tubes, and electrical nodes protruding from her arms and chest. “Dad,” she began again in a measured tone, “What is going on? What’s happening?” Something slid into place with a heavy clunk. “Where’s mom!? Is she here?”Her father nodded to Orochimaru and put his arms behind his back, facing Konan at last. “No, she’s not.”“Where is she?” Konan asked, trying to get a read on his expression, and failing as she always had. “Is she okay? What happened? Is she still…?”“She’s dead, Konan.”Konan stared at him. His face was expressionless. Tears filled her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. In the background, Kabuto investigated a frantic high-pitched beeping she barely registered.“What?” she gasped. “When?”Her father checked his phone. “A month ago.”Konan mouthed silently at him, tears dripping from her chin, her skin stinging oddly from them. “What…?” she breathed, looking in his dark eyes for something she couldn’t name. “How? How?” When he didn’t say anything, she took a shuddering breath and asked, dreading the answer, “How long have I been here?”“Two weeks. Do you remember the trip here?”Konan gaped at him. “ Two weeks!? ” Slow as she felt, she could at least figure one thing out. “You just said she, she died, a month ago,” she hiccuped, feeling herself starting to shake with anger. “You lied to me! You fucking lied to me, did you kill her!?”Her father sighed. “Konan, if you don’t calm down, you’ll need to be sedated again. In any case, the doctors need to proceed with their work. I’ll catch you up on events when you’re feeling more receptive.” Konan gaped at him, hot tears flooding her eyes, hands shaking. “What!?”“And,” he said, reaching for a folded newspaper from the desk, “If you get any bright ideas about trying to ‘befriend’ more of my staff, read this.” He tossed it. It fell gently on the bed by Konan’s knee. He turned and left the room, ignoring Konan as she begged him to wait, to come back, to tell her what the hell was happening.Breathing hard and lightheaded, aware of Kabuto’s eyes on her, she reached for the newspaper and looked at the front page. It was a small paper from somewhere in Australia. A bold headline in all-caps proclaimed, ‘Police refuse to rule out targeted hit in vacant house slaying.’ Konan’s teeth found her lower lip, biting down gently as she read the article, wondering how on earth this could have anything to do with her, praying that it didn’t.
The body of a young woman discovered last week in a vacant house has now been identified through dental records as Holly Campbell, 32, a British national. 
Konan stared at the name, feeling a cold grip close on her stomach.
The circumstances through which she entered the country are still being investigated, as there is no record of her arriving on any international flight, and she was known to be living in Milan, Italy up until a month ago. The victim appears to have been bound and suffocated, the body hidden behind plastic sheeting in one of the many vacant houses in the area waiting for redevelopment. The murder has terrified the local community, and rumours of a targeted killing are flying, not helped by the Chief of Police, Malcolm Brodie’s statement to the press that the investigation ‘cannot rule out the involvement of organized crime’ and that this ‘clearly was a targeted attack,’ although he insists they are keeping an open mind on motive. 
Konan threw the paper away from herself. She was sobbing, her body shaking until she retched, at which point Kabuto brought another sick container and she threw up, crying and vomiting into the box Kabuto held in front of her, her own hands trembling too badly to hold it. She screamed and cried until Kabuto nodded at Orochimaru, who injected a needle into one of her IV drips, and slowly, her face wet with tears and spit, she fell once again into unconsciousness.—“What’s up?” Pain asked through a mouthful of chow mein. There was something in Itachi’s expression he didn’t like.Itachi shut the door behind him and sat down on Pain’s rolling chair, scooting over to him. Pain sat up, swallowed, and closed his laptop. He grabbed his water bottle, eyes on Itachi.“So, I put a couple GPS trackers on Konan’s stuff,” Itachi began, scratching his nose.“You what?” Pain asked, choking a little on his sip of water.“I put GPS trackers on her stuff,” Itachi repeated in a bored voice, “Just in case. There was some shady shit going on with her, you asked me to keep an ear to the ground, any of this ringing a bell…?”“Yeah, yeah, okay,” Pain said, waving his hand, “Okay, pick it up, GPS tracker… track ers? How many?”“One in each of her phones, one on her bag, one embedded in the sole of those boots she wears all the fuckin’ time…”“Woah, okay. So, several.”“Yeah. Anyway, I’ve got some data I wanted to run by you.”Itachi rolled the desk chair over and flipped his laptop around. Pain frowned down at a map. There were small blue tags at several locations.“She left her blue phone here,” Itachi said, tapping the school’s location on the map. “So, she has the burner with her. Now, none of the trackers ever actually went to an airport.” “What?!” Pain exclaimed, jolting to his feet, nearly sending his own laptop flying off the bed. “Are you serious!?” Itachi just looked up at him calmly, eyebrows raised. Pain growled in frustration, dragging a hand through his hair and pacing the room. “ Jesus, and here I was fucking talking myself down, convincing myself everything’s fuckin’ fine… When did you find that out!?”“Are you going to complain, or let me finish?”Pain sighed and rubbed a hand over his face, took a breath, and sat back down. “Okay. She didn’t get on a plane.”“Well, we don’t know that,” Itachi continued, zooming his map out. “The trackers didn’t go to the closest airport. Her phone, boots, and bag all went to a low-usage army base to the east.” He tapped a finger on the screen and zoomed in really close. “Her bag and phone stayed there while her boots took a trip to Italy. The bag seems to have been dropped off here, in what looks like a shopping centre or something.” Itachi switched tabs to Google Maps, showing several large outlets and stores at that exact location.“You don’t think it was her leaving it there?”“No, I don’t. By this point her boots were over water. The bag goes to the mall, and the phone goes here.” He tapped the screen and switched tabs again to Maps, pointing out the dump.Pain stared at the screen, clenching and unclenching his fists unconsciously, jaw tight. “Itachi… I’m not crazy, right, this looks like someone was throwing away her stuff, right?”“Looks like it,” Itachi said, watching him carefully. “Shall I go on?” Pain nodded, eyes unfocused as Itachi tapped another mark on the screen. “Okay,” he continued. “So, her boots head to Milan. There was a stop off at an airport. Judging by travel speeds and some weirdness with the data, my guess is they took a helicopter from the army base, then flew a private jet across.”“So where is she now?” Pain asked, doing his level best to keep his voice steady. Itachi tucked his hair behind his ear, peering at the map and zooming in. “Well, if the boots are still with her, then it looks like they’re here.” He pointed to a point slightly north of the centre. “Municipality zone 9.”  He switched maps, zooming in again. “Porta Nuova. According to Wikipedia, it’s one of the city’s most high-tech districts, and of course, that’s where the main building of her dad’s company is.” Pain exhaled forcefully. “Okay. Okay, well, maybe a load of weird shit happened, but in the end, she’s there with her family… Her mom… her really fucked-up dad… who may or may not have thrown away her phone and taken her home in literally the most suspicious way possible…”“Sorry, is that supposed to be reassuring?” Itachi asked drily.“Kinda.” “Do you have any other way of contacting her, other than texting?” Itachi asked, shutting his laptop. Pain shook his head, closing his eyes as they adjusted to the sudden darkness, feeling quite suddenly the weight of how idiotic that was.  Fucking wonderful. What the hell did I think was going to happen!? If she gets hold of a phone, she can call me, sure, but if she doesn’t? I don’t have her fucking email, even. “Well, I guess I’ll just have to wait,” he said in a flat voice. “Her dad has done shit like this before, to some extent. Konan said he throws away her clothes, and he spied on her phone. It sounds crazy and fucked up… but maybe everything’s okay.” Pain couldn’t stop a bitter laugh escaping at the end. He couldn’t even convince himself.—Konan awoke in semi-darkness. The fluorescent lights she remembered were off. The room, if it was the same room, was partially illuminated by the blue-light glow of several monitors and blinking green and orange lights on overhead machinery. Her chest both ached and stung, like there was a boulder wrapped in poison ivy sitting on her breasts. Her hips felt sore, and even as she blinked her eyes slowly open, adjusting to the dark and her surroundings, she felt bone-tired, to her core. As she tried, briefly, to raise her head before giving up with a gasp of pain, she heard voices. She turned her head slightly to see a thin beam of light showing where the door wasn’t quite closed. She shut her eyes again and listened.She could hear her father and Orochimaru talking in low voices. Over the hum of the computers and machines in the room, she ppcaught a stream of numbers, something about hormones, increasing dosage. Something was at capacity, past safe limits. Orochimaru mentioned ‘long-term effects,’ and her father dismissed him impatiently, his voice growing more agitated. “I don’t care, this needs to be done, she needs to be perfect, exactly as you promised,” her father hissed, voice louder for a second. “Andromeda has a hard deadline, and it will be met.”Orochimaru said something in reply, and then brisk footsteps Konan recognized as her father’s faded away down the hall.Konan bit her lips and inched her way into a sitting position, hissing quietly from the pain. She looked down at herself, trying to assess what she could of the situation. The amount of tubes and wires sticking out of her had decreased. There was an IV needle in her arm, and a plastic heartbeat monitor pinched on her finger, but that was it. She breathed a sigh of relief that she hadn’t been set up with a feeding tube, at least. She held her arm up to the blue light from a monitor, squinting at the IV tube, trying to see if she could get it out herself. She lifted her other arm to try gently pulling, but her wrist was pulled short by what she had taken for a hospital bracelet. Feeling around in the semi-darkness, she realised it was a fabric-covered steel band, attached to a metal cable, shackling her to the bed. She was trying to see what the other end of the cable was connected to when she heard quiet footsteps and the door swung open, blinding her with a wash of fluorescent white light as he flicked the switch. “You’re awake, hmm? I’ll buzz for your dinner, then.” It was Kabuto. He turned to press a button under the desk and his glasses flashed opaque for a second. He glanced back at Konan, a tiny smile on his face. “You’re sitting up, then. Good, I’m glad.” His eyes fell to her hand, clutching the cable. “Trying to get out of bed?”Konan gazed back at him, saying nothing.“It’s fine,” Kabuto said, slipping his hands into his pockets. “You don’t need to be here any longer, you’re done for at least the next twelve days. We’re pressed for time, certainly, but we need to give your body a chance to adjust, give it time to show us results. We’ll mostly be doing superficial treatments in the next few days.”“What exactly have you been doing to me?” Konan asked stiffly. There was a beep at the door and Kabuto opened it. A nurse came in with a silver tray of food and placed it across Konan’s knees, not making eye contact with her. As ravenously hungry as she was, the smell of chicken soup, steamed vegetables, and mashed potato made her feel lightly nauseous.Kabuto waited until the nurse had left before answering. “Konan, I’m sure your father will explain this in more detail soon enough, but rest assured, our aims are not to cause you any lasting harm.” He shifted his glasses further up his face, smiling. “We are at the razor’s edge of science and possibility. We are making the world a better place. We are discovering the key to youth, life, beauty. Suffice to say, you are an extremely important and significant specimen—”“Specimen!?” Konan spluttered, unable to contain herself.“We’re grateful for your participation.” Kabuto smiled again. “Now, eat your dinner, and then we can discuss accommodations where your body can rest and heal before the next round of dosage and treatment.”—The “superficial treatments” Kabuto had mentioned turned out to be worse than anything Konan had guessed. While getting unknown substances dripped and injected into her was horrifying enough, Konan didn’t know what they were trying to do, so she had little scope, for now, to grasp the situation. When they strapped her down, topless, on her stomach, fastening belts up her arms, legs, and hips so she couldn't move, and started lasering, she knew exactly what they were doing.Orochimaru supervised a silent operator as they began lasering the angel wings off her back. Between the intense burning pain of the laser, the knowledge of what they were doing to her, the grief of what it meant, and the fact that as she screamed, sobbed, and begged them to stop, that the two men didn’t react at all, it was the worst experience of her life. She stayed strapped down as they took their lunch break, as they discussed which tattoos to work on next. They put in a session on her paper crane, which they said would probably fade clear in two, as it had light, delicate linework. The ink was well packed in on her cherries tattoo, likely requiring up to five or six to get what they called ‘satisfactory clearance’. When they decided to have a go at her sphere of stars on her wrist, the newest one, the one Pain had designed and tattooed on her, Konan disassociated. She felt like she was somewhere else, floating above in the space, watching the men bending over her, the practitioner positioning the beam close over her strapped-down wrist. She barely felt the burn. She had been nearly catatonic when they finished for the day. “Let’s roll her over and get rid of the metal,” Orochimaru said in his unnerving, soft voice. Konan barely lifted her eyelids, beyond caring, completely spent of anger and fear and tears. He buzzed for Kabuto as the laser guy packed up.“I’ll be back in six weeks,” he said to Orochimaru on the way out. “Hmm. We should have brought her in months ago,” Orochimaru said as Kabuto unstrapped Konan and rolled her over onto her back. Her body was still and sore from being strapped down on her front all day, and she winced, gasping in pain. They strapped her down again before she could even try to sit up. “Perhaps. We’ll be able to get in a few more sessions before the deadline, though,” Kabuto said, pushing his glasses back up his nose.“What deadline?” Konan whispered, squinting in the light, her voice dry and hoarse.Kabuto and Orochimaru glanced at each other, but said nothing. They pulled straps across Konan’s neck and forehead, keeping her head in place. “Now, don’t turn, or you’ll hurt yourself,” Kabuto said, bending over her and taking hold of her lower lip with his gloved hand, holding a pair of blunted tweezers in the other.Konan closed her eyes, gritting her teeth as he set about removing her labret.—That evening, Konan was moved to another room. As far as she could tell, having been pushed there in a wheelchair, it was in the same building as the medical ward, but several floors up. The room had no windows either, so Konan had to guess she was still underground. The room was furnished to her father’s taste, with dark wood and thick carpeting, but without the usual sculptural details and art pieces that Konan figured he’d imagine could be used as weapons. Kabuto unstrapped her and helped her to the bed. They had changed her into loose-fitting black pants and a soft black t-shirt, which still stung and scraped on her sensitive skin. Kabuto showed her an intercom on the wall to call for help or food, as well as the security cameras positioned in every corner.“Is there one in the bathroom?” Konan asked flatly.“Of course not,” Kabuto said with that tiny humourless smile, which did not inspire much confidence. “You are being monitored for your safety. Not for any other reason.”Konan bit the inside of her cheek and looked around the room. Apart from the bed, there was a treadmill and yoga mat in one corner, and a wardrobe in the other. “What’s in there?” she asked, jerking her head at it.Kabuto crossed to the wardrobe and held it open for her. There were no hangers, presumably so she didn’t get any ideas for creative ways to use them. There were a few clothes, undergarments, and a towel folded on shelves.“Where are the clothes I was wearing when you took me here? Where’s my phone?”“I can’t speak to that. In any case, you have everything you need. If you experience sudden or worsening pain, shortness of breath, intense nausea, unusual bleeding, or severe cramping, feel free to call myself or Dr Orochimaru on the intercom. Our number is written on a label there.”And with that, he left the room, making a big show of entering a code before unlocking and re-arming the room. Konan shifted into a sitting position, glaring up at the security cameras. A red recording light glowed from each of them. She flopped back down and rolled over, pulling a pillow over her head to muffle her crying.—The next morning, a nurse buzzed in with a breakfast tray. Konan ignored them and didn’t eat any of it. She spent nearly the entire day curled on her side, staring at the wall. She was thinking about her mother, mostly. Wondering what exactly had happened to her, how she had died. She thought about Pain, throat so tight it was painful when she reflected, for about the four hundredth time, that she had absolutely no way to contact him. In the dark, when her brain was too tired to fight the impulse, she thought about Holly. How horrible her death had been. How, somehow, it was surely Konan’s fault. She wondered who had killed her. She wondered if her father had given the order, if there were more people he had killed, or would kill. She wondered what was happening to her.Because, as Kabuto had hinted at, her body was indeed changing. When the aching in her chest had subsided, she had realised her breasts had swollen to at least one cup size larger. They were still tender and painful, but the change was real. Her hips, too, seemed wider, or her waist slightly smaller. The stretch marks on her thighs and hips were nearly gone. Her face had peeled like she had a bad sunburn for a couple days, and now was smooth, clear, and glassy. Her lips were tinted rosier, her nails longer and shiny, her teeth whitened.She felt so frightened and unnerved by it all that she avoided her face in the bathroom mirror, unable to meet her own eyes in a not-quite-right face. The first time she had undressed and turned, hesitantly, in the mirror to look at her back, she had started crying again to see how her angel wings had faded after one laser session. Her piercings were gone. They were trying to remove her tattoos. She had no contact with her friends. It felt like they were erasing her, piece by piece, day by day.Kabuto came by every other day to weigh and measure her. When she refused to move, staying put in bed, he radioed for security, and in a humiliating sequence, Konan was pulled off the mattress like a ragdoll, her shirt and pants yanked off, and her arm twisted up behind her as Kabuto, carrying on as normal, measured her waist. Konan spent hours running her fingers around the doorframe, pressing her ear to the wall, trying to listen for what might be adjacent, moving the sparse furniture around, looking for something, anything, that could help her get out. She pushed the treadmill up against the door and broke the front panel open with a knife she had stolen from her lunch tray. She was just starting to gingerly pull out the wiring, wondering if she could use it to overload the electronic door lock, when the door beeped open and a team of security workers came in. Two of them shoved the treadmill away and smashed it. One of them, a large, muscular man with no expression, slapped Konan across the face so hard she saw white and shoved her on the bed while another ziptied her to the bed frame. They left her there all night. She had cut her wrist raw on the plastic by the time Kabuto came by in the morning to measure her again and bring her her breakfast tray.Two days later, her father finally reappeared to visit her. Konan was lying in bed, facing the wall again. She heard the beep and swish of the door unlocking and opening, and recognized his footsteps as he approached the bed. He sat down on the end of it. They didn’t say anything to each other for a long moment, Konan glaring at the wall, chewing the inside of her cheek.“Are you pretending to be angry with me?”Konan jerked with shock, biting down harder than she meant, drawing blood. She took a deep breath through her teeth, unable to even conceive of what she could possibly say to that. “This was never the plan, I hope you can appreciate that. This last-minute rush… it was unexpected. But necessary, I assure you.”Konan listened, dragging her teeth against her lower lip, peeling the skin raw. She turned her head the barest fraction to check if he had brought security with him. He had— a tall, stone-faced man was blocking the door, hands at his belt. She saw a taser, handcuffs, and a gun there.
A bodyguard with a gun to talk to his daughter. Father of the fucking year.
“I’ve had reports of bad behaviour. Now, I want to explain to you why you’re here. Will you be good and listen?”Konan said nothing, teeth digging into her lip, nails deep in the meat of her palms as she balled her fists under the blanket, still facing the wall.“Are you giving me the silent treatment?” he asked, a tiny note of incredulity in his voice. “Act your age, Konan.”“I don’t want to speak to you ever again,” Konan said at last, her voice raw from crying and screaming, both of which she had done all night.Her father said nothing for a moment. “Konan, I appreciate you are confused, upset, and very likely angry. But this is important information you need to know. And believe it or not, I am currently working extremely hard to protect you from those who wish you harm, who do not deserve you.”Konan’s lip was bleeding. “Who?” she asked through gritted teeth. “Who doesn’t deserve me?”  She was daring him, fucking daring him to say he was protecting her from Pain. Her father sighed. She heard the clink of his cufflinks as he adjusted them. “Konan, when you turn eighteen, you will be married. You will belong to one of the most powerful men in the world.”Slowly, Konan sat up. She scooched backward to press her back against the headboard, folding her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them, eyes flicking briefly to the security guy before locking again onto the back of her father’s head. Her dad turned to glance at her over his shoulder.“I wish you’d brush your hair,” he muttered, clicking his tongue. “But I suppose it’s of no consequence for now…” He cleared his throat and continued as Konan stared at him, feeling blood thrum in her ears, her heart hammering as he spoke. “I am currently negotiating your future. I have been for years. This is what I meant, that I am selecting the best candidate. Protecting you from the undeserving, because you are essentially priceless, Konan.” He turned further to look her in the face. “All you have to do is to live up to your potential. That’s not too much to ask, is it?”Konan closed her eyes, wondering if it really would make her situation so much worse if she tried to fucking throttle him. She was starting to feel lightheaded, like she was going to faint.“Since birth, you have been destined for this,” he said, an earnest edge to his businesslike tone, like he was pitching a product to a client. “You are a special girl, of course. I have crafted you to be so. You are educated, you can behave in society, much as you pretend otherwise. You are beautiful, as designed,” he said, nodding at her, eyes sweeping her forehead, her mouth before giving a slight shrug. “Admittedly, some of the experiments had more minimal results than hoped as you grew, but we are rectifying these errors. Your body may be sore, but we are accelerating much change in a short period of time, so this is expected.”Konan swallowed, her hands feeling clammy, staring at her father’s face like she couldn’t recognize him. “What… what do you mean?”“As you know, Konan, you have received regular treatments to better your health for your entire life. You are lucky; you have been well looked after, and my specialist team was brought on specifically to ensure you grew to be beautiful and desirable. One of the most desirable women in the world.” Her father gave her a critical scan and shrugged again. “We ran a bit behind schedule, and are making up time.” A high-pitched whine was drilling into Konan’s brain, like audio feedback, as she listened, realizing, feeling sicker and sicker, that not only did her father know about every single sick, intrusive, horrifying thing that was being done to her, but that he had always known it would happen, and had actively been planning it for years. For her whole life.He shifted on the bed, picking a piece of lint off his suit. “Our research, the Andromeda project, has been largely funded by our investors, men who were seeking a beautiful bride, a high-status partner worthy of them, and we have created one. A product to fit demand. They did not mind waiting. There is no man in the world who would object to having a younger wife,” he said with a smile that made Konan feel sick. He became serious again at once, meeting her gaze. “Don’t worry; naturally you won’t automatically go to the highest bidder— how vulgar. I shall choose the most appropriate match. My selection process is very thorough, of course; you are my daughter after all. I shall consider the life they can give you, their reputation and character, and what they pledge to the company to keep funding the Andromeda Project.”He adjusted his tie, voice shifting again, ever the businessman, pitching to her. “You see, you are the prototype. All the treatments you have undergone, the vitamins and supplements you’ve been taking, the hormone boosts, serums, and gene editing we have conducted on you will be available in the common market in ten to fifteen years.” He smiled at her, his teeth too white for his face. “You always complained I didn’t tell you enough about my work, but I’m sure you can see why I didn’t. In any case, this is the kind of cutting-edge work we have been doing for decades. Your mother was a prototype for many of these treatments, you know.”Konan’s nails dug so hard into her palms they were burning and her knuckles ached. She gritted her teeth, rage surging through her at the mention of her mother.Her father carried on, apparently noticing nothing, or simply not caring. “She was my original muse, I suppose you could call it. She was too old for purpose and the science was rudimentary in her best years, so I conceived a child with her to preserve her beauty, but reset the clock on the project, allowing my team to start from the beginning. We saved the data she created over her life to understand how they may affect you in the long term. While her body was a weak, imperfect vessel for our early work, in the end, she was useful.”“ What… the fuck… are you talking about!? ” Konan breathed, unable to comprehend the insanity of what he was saying.He carried on. “We will perfect this process. But, if I say so myself,” he said, gazing intently at her face, evaluating her. “Despite delays, we got quite close the first time.”Finally losing control, Konan jerked her leg out, trying to kick him in the face. He caught her foot in his hand, his expression hardening, squeezing her foot until she gasped in pain.“Konan, whether you accept it now or later, this is your reality,” he said harshly, cold eyes locked onto hers, nails digging into her tendon. “One day you’ll appreciate the gifts that I have given you. You are unique, and you are valuable. You are an experiment, you are a project, and you are a business deal. And I will not have it go wrong.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Konan had now been gone for two and a half weeks. Since the day Itachi had showed Pain that she was probably in Milan, and that someone had disposed of her bag and phone before taking her there, he had barely slept. He had spent hours researching parental abduction and kidnapping in the national criminal code, and had called several local legal advice centres to see if Konan’s situation counted, but hit a few brick walls when he said he didn’t know whether her other legal guardian had consented to the trip, and/or whether she was even still alive.Furthermore, Konan was seventeen, which lessened the severity of any kidnapping charges, and as the person committing the alleged offense was her parent, and Pain had no actual proof that Konan had been taken or was being held against her will, it was hard to build a case without, at the very least, more evidence. He had gone to the local police station to file a missing person’s case, but had hit similar roadblocks, and got the feeling they thought he was wasting their time. Firstly, he had to admit that she seemed to have been taken to her father’s building, which as far as he knew, was in fact one of the residences she used to live in. He told them that her property seemed to have been disposed of in a suspicious way and they hadn’t taken a public airplane to get there, which wasn’t a crime. The officer he had talked to summed it up as ‘a rich father takes his seventeen year old daughter back home via private jet and the boyfriend doesn’t hear from her for a week’, and he couldn’t exactly argue. Furthermore, he couldn't confirm whether she was actually a citizen or where she had been born, and when he told them her father’s name, they had wrapped the interview up pretty quickly, advising him not to come back, which raised a few red flags.He had started trawling district 9 of Milan on Street View, cross-checking with the old GPS data Itachi had of where her boots had been, because three days after he had shown it to Pain, the boots had left, headed, according to Itachi, to a dump. The useful thing was that the GPS tag had followed  a route that, after several hours of digging via Google Translate, Pain had discovered was an established garbage removal truck route. He copied the route down, printing out the map, and followed it carefully on Street View until he found the pick up location. The central MIRAI building was an enormous, glass-walled modern construction, clearly designed to project wealth and innovation. It was right in the downtown core and was heavily featured in its own website and various architectural magazines, fawning over its sustainable design, innovative layout, pleasing lines and water features.The MIRAI outbuilding, however, was much harder to find. With the garbage disposal route and a request for, and the careful translation of municipal building blueprints, Pain was able to confirm that the large white warehouse-like structure several miles out of the city in the industrial zone, simply called ‘NK Fabricating,’ was in fact also owned by the company, and that is where Konan was taken. Her boots weren’t dropped in the industrial garbage, which would have taken a different route, but to a restaurant trash container, several blocks away.This discovery had crystallized things for Pain.  As stressed and suspicious as he had been before, the fact that Konan didn’t even seem to be staying in the actual building where he knew her dad’s apartment was, but was instead apparently in some kind of factory , meant something seriously fucked up was going on. On his way down to talk with Tsunade to get permission to leave school for a family emergency, he ran into Ino, almost literally, knocking her into the wall.“What the hell?” she exclaimed, rubbing her shoulder.“Sorry,” he said vaguely.“What–” She broke off, giving him a weird look. “You look like shit.”“Yeah.” This was fair enough — on the rare occasion he had passed a mirror this week, he had noticed his own dark shadows.He started walking again, but Ino caught up with him, hurrying along at his side. “What do you want?” he asked, not looking at her.“Where’s Konan?”At the sound of her name, Pain’s stomach, tense already, ached dully. “She went home for a family emergency.”“She’s been gone for like, two weeks.”Pain shrugged jerkily as they rounded a corner. “Long emergency.”“Did she go to Italy?” Pain turned to stare at Ino, whose face was pale and tense. “How do you know— ?”“There you are, Pain. Let’s discuss your request for a personal leave,” Tsunade barked, stepping out of her office. Pain saw Ino’s eyebrows raise and her hand slipping her phone out of her pocket before he turned to follow Tsunade back into her office.“Now, I’m assuming it’s a total coincidence that you have a family emergency now, when your girlfriend has also yet to return to school for a similar emergency?” Tsunade said drily as she sat down at her desk.“Yes.” Pain shrugged. “What, do you need to call my dad to check?” he asked, banking on Tsunade deciding that was too much hassle. Everyone knew how much she hated admin work.“No, because I already called him.” Fuck. Why’d she pick today to follow up with shit!? “And?” Pain asked mildly, keeping his face impassive.Tsunade gave him a lightly sour look, quirking an eyebrow. “Well, if you’re not back in one week, I’ll need a signed letter from your father. Got it?”
Fuck yes, dad coming in clutch.
Pain called his dad as soon as he left Tsunade’s office. Yahiko answered on the second ring. “Hey bud, I was expecting to hear from you around now. Or, you know, ideally before I got a call from the head about a supposed family emergency,” he snarked. “Anything happen I’m somehow not aware of? Great-gran had a fall or something?”Pain rolled his eyes, sighing— his dad sounded more annoyed than he’d expected. This wasn’t going to be easy. “It’s hard to explain, dad, but thanks for covering for me.”“Uh-huh. This ‘emergency’ wouldn’t have anything to do with the one-way ticket to Milan you’ve ordered?”“How did you know about that?” Pain asked, stunned for a second before realizing. “Fuck, the joint credit—”“Joint credit card, yeah. Nice try. What the hell are you trying to go to Italy for?”“I paid for it, I paid it off already.”“Doesn’t matter, kid. I can’t have you skipping school, going off with a one-way ticket to a foreign country with no explanation of what you’re doing, why you’re going, where you’ll be staying, who with… It’s just not happening.”Pain sighed, leaning against the wall and closing his eyes, wondering if he could get away with saying nothing long enough to make it to the airport. Apparently guessing his train of thought correctly, Yahiko added, “And if you don’t tell me everything right now , I’ll call the airline, cancel your flight, and block the credit card. Your choice.”Pain gently knocked the back of his head against the wall in annoyance. “ Fine. I’m going to find Konan. I think she’s in trouble. I think she’s in Milan, and she doesn’t have her phone, and I haven’t heard from her in two and a half weeks.”“What do you mean, she’s in trouble?”“Just… I think something bad happened.”“Like what?”“I can’t… I don’t know.”“So she left and hasn’t called you?”“Yeah.”“...You sure you haven’t just been dumped?” Yahiko asked after a pause.“No, dad,” Pain said through gritted teeth. “I don’t have time for this. Look, the trip hopefully won’t take too long, I’ll stay in a hostel, I’ll text you“Nope. No matter what, you’re not going alone, you’re just not,” Yahiko said firmly.“I’m not,” Pain said automatically, taking even himself by surprise.“Who are you going with? And if I don’t know them, they don’t count."“My friends.”“Uh huh,” Yahiko said drily. “All their parents said this was fine?”“I mean, yeah, whatever, we’re just all going, okay?” Pain snapped. “If you’re worried about human trafficking or whatever, nobody’s gonna kidnap all seven of us. Come on, dad, this is really, really important.”Yahiko paused, apparently thinking. “You said Konan’s in trouble? What kind of trouble? Can’t her parents deal with it?”Pain pushed off the wall and headed back upstairs. “It’s hard to explain, dad. I can’t tell you.”“If you can’t tell me, you’re not going.”“Ugh, fine! ” Pain snapped before sucking his teeth, trying to keep it together. “Okay. Her dad is kind of a controlling psycho.”“Buddy, not every parent is as chilled out as I am.”“I know that. I meant, seriously seriously controlling.” Pain rubbed his face, his bone-deep exhaustion catching up to him; he really needed another coffee. “Look, he cut her off entirely from her old friends, just because their parents worked at his company. He dictates what she can wear, throws her things into the garbage. He installed spyware on her phone, okay? He has her taking all kinds of medication she doesn’t need, and…”“O-kayyy...”Pain took another deep breath, trying to downplay as much as he could while still conveying why he really had to go. “He called to tell her her mum was dying. It just seems that since then, plans have changed and she hasn’t gotten in touch, so I just want to check she’s okay.”“Fine. But you better text every day. And if you don’t, I’ll call your friends, and their parents, and I’ll put up missing persons posters of you with the worst picture of you I can find.”Pain sighed with relief. “Thanks, Dad “After he hung up, he took the stairs two at a time, heading for the dorm room to pack.It seemed like as soon as one problem had been solved, another appeared— Now, he needed to convince at least one of the others to accompany him on the trip. Or at least lie convincingly and get all of their parents to lie as well…He reached the boys’ hall and unlocked the door to his dorm, striding towards his room. He nearly ran into Itachi, who opened his door and looked out, his expression tense.“There you are!” he exclaimed, pulling Pain into his room by the sleeve.“Jesus, what now?” Pain asked, half exasperated, half nervous. Itachi looked unusually serious, the shadows under his eyes darker.“So, I think this is kind of an emergency now,” Itachi said hurriedly, sitting on his rolling chair and scooting to his monitor, beckoning Pain to follow. “Like a call-the-police emergency.”“Oh, my fucking god,” Pain groaned, walking over, stomach clenching. “What is it?”“Two things,” Itachi said, typing rapidly on his light-up keyboard and bringing up several dark command screens. He hit enter. “First, this. I think it’s a kind of promotional sales brochure. Probably they had a very limited, exclusive distribution. The person who posted it might have been an employee or something, a secretary, whatever. The account is a throwaway, and nornally you’d think this is a joke or something, but it’s got the fucking company logo on it...”He turned the screen for Pain to see. It did indeed look like a glossy, high-end sales brochure, as though for luxury apartments.Some sections had been blacked out. Possibly because they contained information that could identify the recipient, Pain figured. The first page had a full-bleed photo of Konan, smiling and laughing in a field of flowers, wearing a wedding dress. Just as Itachi had said, the MIRAI logo was plain as day in the top corner.“What the fuck?” Pain murmured, staring at the picture. Despite everything, he felt a burst of warmth seeing her, smiling, her face lit up. Aside from being so worried he was hardly eating, he missed her. “It’s an edit, but a very good one,” Itachi said, zooming in and pointing out various tiny inconsistencies and details that showed where her head had been put on the model’s body.Pain clicked to the next page. There were identical headshots of Konan, one with her blue hair, the others with black, blonde, brown, and red hair. “Pick your favourite, I guess,” Itachi murmured.There was a close-up shot of Konan’s eyes. Naturally amber eyes! read the caption below in flowery calligraphy. There was a glamour photo of her mother (Daughter of a Japanese model!) , a table of measurements (lip width and height, waist, hips, height, weight, bra size, leg length, nose length, number and location of freckles), a visual breakdown of her face symmetry, close-ups of her fingernails, feet, her smile. Pain’s eyes caught for a second on the ‘D’ listed under bra cup size, then moved on, shaking his head. There was another photoshopped image of Konan smiling in a white frilly bikini above what looked like a resume, titled Skills and Qualifications. This listed the sports she could play, including golf, skiing, fencing, polo, gymnastics, ballroom dancing, waltz, salsa, contemporary, and pole dancing, the languages she could speak (English, French, Italian, and Japanese), and musical instruments she could play (piano and violin). Below that were descriptions of cooking, interior design, and hostess courses she’d completed, the year of her debutante ball, and her special interest: origami. The last line on the list said ‘virgin.’Pain stared at that word, a strange humming filling his ears so it took Itachi a couple tries to get his attention.“Pain?”“...Hmm?”“There’s something else, and this… Like, I think we should go to the police.”Icy terror gripped the back of Pain’s neck as he met Itachi’s uncertain gaze. “Show me.”Itachi pulled the monitor back his way and opened another window, typing quickly.“It looks like someone has set up a livestream. I have to imagine it’s a rogue member of her dad’s security, or at any rate, someone with access to the video feed. Possibly they hacked it. Other users have been taking screenshots, but…”Pain really didn’t like the tone of his voice. Itachi let out a breath. “Okay. She’s not there right now.” He turned the monitor back to Pain.Pain looked at the livestream screen, which was split into three viewpoints, seemingly from different corners of a small room, which contained a wardrobe, a yoga mat, and a large bed. It was still– aside from the date and time flicking up in the bottom right corner, nothing moved. Pain felt Itachi’s eyes on him as he scrolled down. He stared at the screen, nails digging into the back of Itachi’s chair as he bent to get a better look. There were pixelly screenshots of Konan in a hospital gown, crawling onto the bed. Konan trying to cover herself as she changed into a black shirt. Konan seemingly handcuffed or tied to the headboard of the bed, arms raised behind her, legs kicking out. Konan in a towel, coming back from the bathroom. A man in a white lab coat measuring her chest as she held her shirt up. Pain scrolled further and further down, not even breathing, biting hard on the inside of his lip. He stopped on the first screenshots, which showed Konan being lifted face-down onto the bed, her back exposed and red, a man in a lab coat removing an IV from her limp arm.“Hang on, she’s back,” Itachi murmured, looking at his other monitor, which showed the top of the page. The blood was pounding so hard in Pain’s ears he hardly heard him, but numbly, he turned to look.Somehow, seeing the screenshots was nowhere near as horrible as seeing Konan on the screen, moving around, actually proving that it was her, she really was there. Wherever there was.Pain watched as Konan re-entered the room, once again accompanied by a man in a lab coat. It looked like her hands were ziptied together; she sat down on the bed, wrists pinned. A man in a black suit appeared, facing away from the cameras, his hands in his pockets. He bent in front of Konan. She moved slightly, like she was saying something, or spitting on him. He slapped her across the face. Pain flinched, jaw clenching so hard it hurt. Another figure entered the scene. By his bulk, Pain supposed he was hired muscle. He had a white-blond buzz cut. The man in the suit stepped backwards, taking out a handkerchief and wiping his face — so she had spat on him — while the larger man stepped forward towards Konan, who was clearly yelling something, crawling to get away. “I don’t think I can watch this,” Pain breathed, nails digging into his skin to try and hold himself together. The large man grabbed the ziptie holding Konan’s wrists together and hoisted her up by it as she kicked at him, then threw her back down on the bed. He rolled her over roughly, crawling after her up the mattress as she tried to get away, and pulled her arms over her head, overextending them, kneeling on the small of her back. Pain watched, feeling tears building in his eyes, as her legs kicked out, hearing her screaming and crying in his head. Movement on the screen caught his attention, and he saw a new screenshot posted. One of the scumbags had decided this was a moment worth saving.Pain and Itachi watched silently as the man in the suit walked around the bed, bending to speak with Konan, then nodding at the larger man, who lifted his knee off Konan and stepped off the bed. She lay still, looking tiny and fragile, curving in on herself, gasping for air. The man in the suit turned away from her, towards the door. Pain swore loudly.“That’s her fucking dad. ”“That’s him?” Itachi asked. “Yeah.” Pain could barely feel his face from how hard he’d been clenching his jaw. He watched as Konan’s father, the security guard, and the man in the lab coat all left the room. Konan didn’t move again.“I guess this is the right time to ask,” Pain said vaguely, eyes still locked on his girlfriend on the screen, “But do you want to come to Italy with me?”—Konan hadn’t seen a single other person for three days. Her father had apparently been annoyed enough by her escape attempt that he’d even instructed the food trays to be slid through a slot at the bottom of the door. She had kind of expected her meals to be withheld for bad behaviour, but after a bit she had realized that Orochimaru and Kabuto probably wanted her well-fed to have the energy to process all the crazy shit they had pumped into her. She had announced she would therefore go on hunger strike, only to hear Orochimaru sigh through the intercom that that was perfectly fine, if she’d prefer to be restrained and force fed like a paté goose. She abandoned that pretty quickly.After hearing her father lay out what she could only think of as his apparent decades-long spiral of insanity, she had decided she absolutely couldn’t afford to stay here another fucking day. The next time she’d been brought to the lab for treatment, she had ripped out the IV needle when Orochimaru was out of the room, hiding it in her hand. As he had bent down to examine her, she punched her arm up, holding the needle tight, aiming for his eye. Unfortunately, he jerked his head back at exactly the right time, and immediately slammed her arm on the metal side of the bed, bending it the wrong way until she cried out and dropped the needle, then calmly called security. Her father had been alerted, and come to give her a talking to. When she’d spat in his face, his henchman had knelt on her back until she couldn’t breathe and went limp. When she’d told her father he couldn’t possibly marry her off if she swore to tear the face off whoever won the bidding for her with her teeth, he’d merely smiled and said ‘If a lifetime supply of barbiturates is what it takes to make you comply, then that’s a price I’m willing to pay.’At the moment, she was laying on the bed as usual, trying to think where in the lab Orochimaru and Kabuto might keep their scalpels. 
But honestly, a pen would be okay… But they’ll be anticipating something, now. 
The door opened. Instinctively, she sat up, pulling the covers around her. Her dad entered the room, flanked by two large security guards. Her father nodded at them, and they approached her, manhandling her around as she protested and tried to wiggle free, pulling her arms behind her back. With a groan, she heard the familiar sound and felt the cutting plastic of the ziptie as they tightened it. She turned back around, hunched over painfully, and glared at her father. He glanced at one of the guards, who stepped out of the room and returned with a chair, which her father settled himself on, crossing his ankles leisurely and looking at her. After a moment of silence, he said, “I have been informed that you are no longer a virgin.”Konan stared at him. “And?” A flicker of annoyance creased her father’s face before it smoothed out again, a practiced expression. He examined his carefully trimmed nails. “I have been very busy, this past year. The work has been constant and taxing. Your development, as you know, was not where it should have been. As the deadline closed in, my investors were getting… impatient.” Konan noticed a twitch in his eyebrow, the bobbing of his adam’s apple. He’s nervous? That’s new, I guess. “The situation was particularly taxing when reports surfaced of images of you, unauthorized images of you, circulating online. Images not curated by my staff, which showed you were not where you had been promised to be, physically. You can imagine the uproar amongst investors and interested parties. You can imagine the work I had to do to reassure them.”Determined as she had been to never speak to her father again, Konan couldn’t help it. “That’s all you have to say about that!?” she burst out in disbelief. “So you knew about everything!?”Her father carried on as if she hadn’t made a sound, cleaning dirt from under his nails with a pen knife from his pocket. “I wasn’t able to supervise you as closely as I would have liked. I let out the leash a little. Too far, as is certainly clear now. I put my faith in my old assistant.” His dark eyes met Konan’s for a moment, hard and empty. “It was an error. She falsified documents and made false report after false report regarding your location, your schooling, your behaviour, your supervision. All with the collaboration and direction of your mother.” He said the word with soft spite and ridicule. Konan’s head was pounding with anger. “I admit, I had never calculated for that. It hadn’t occurred to me the woman could be so blind, willful, and stupid. In any case, you were enrolled into a school I never would have approved of, as you must have known. A co-ed school. Where, I presume, you met whichever undeserving, randy junkyard piece of trash you allowed to get a leg over.”“Don’t you fucking dare say that,” Konan breathed, head bent over her knees.He ignored her. “As much as you should, rightfully, be punished for this — and I’m sure you know you would have been, to have kept this secret from me — I don’t have time. You have lowered your value by God only knows how much, a million at least…” He exhaled sharply through his nose, then smoothed his hair back, calm again. “We are not going to tell anyone. You can keep a secret. Orochimaru will implant a new hymen in a few days, so you don’t disappoint your husband.” Konan watched him, hating him, as he stood up, adjusting his suit. “As disgusting as your behaviour is,” he said, spitting the word, “You at least have some experience now. You should be able to please your husband, at least.”Konan lunged forwards, furious, but was caught around the shoulders by her father’s security guard. He didn’t even seem to notice. There was a brief vibration and he pulled his phone out of his pocket, facing away and answering as though she were not there.“What is it?” he asked, then— “What? Why are they here?” Konan heard the change in his tone, and looked up, glancing at the security guard, who was still watching her. She shrugged at him and he let go. “Send them away, he has been rejected, I notified him. No, I won’t see him. …No, what did I just say? What are you fucking useless sacks of shit doing up there!?” The security guard glanced at her father, too. Konan watched as he tilted his head back and sighed. “What are they saying? …I see.” He snapped his fingers and the security guard immediately hurried over, standing at his shoulder. “Proof of life? They want to see the prototype, huh?” He glanced, almost absent-mindedly over his shoulder at Konan, and she was startled, both by the beads of sweat on his forehead, and his ironic expression. She had never seen her father stressed like this, and she had never seen him express any kind of sense of humour. Somehow the smile unnerved her more than his obvious strain. “What are they proposing, then…? And...? I see.” He turned back, his voice leveling out, hard. “I shall meet them in the executive boardroom in three hours. Three. Three or they don’t see her. For fuck’s sake, call for back-up, then. Send security to the executive boardroom, and send Luca to me, immediately. Yes, she’s with me.”He hung up. He gazed at the screen for a long moment, then slipped the phone back into his pocket and readjusted his already ruler-straight tie. “Untie her,” he said to the security guard, and walked to the intercom panel.The guard cut the ziptie from Konan’s wrists and she gasped, rolling her shoulders and rubbing her hands, watching her father. He pressed the intercom panel.“Sir?”“Get the face team here, now.”“But, sir—”“Now."He shut the intercom off and opened the wardrobe, hands sliding the clothes Konan had never worn to one side until he found what he was looking for.“Konan, have a shower and put this on,” he said, tossing a white silk dress at her. “Company’s coming.”—In the end, every single one of them wanted to go. It took barely three hours to gather the others together, appraise them of the situation, get them packed up, in taxis, and then at the airport. Kakuzu, to everyone’s general amazement and appreciation, had volunteered to pay for their tickets as, in his words, he would feel like the world’s biggest tool if he didn’t consider rescuing their friend a ‘good enough reason’ to spend his year’s winnings. Pain barely spoke from the time they got out of the taxis to the time they touched down in Milan Malpensa airport. On the flight, he found he had to stop replaying the security footage of Konan in his head, stop going over the maps and locations he had marked down, because it just made him want to scream, and there was nothing he could do on an airplane. He started mindlessly looping through photos he had of Konan on his phone, wishing he could fall through the screen, fall back in time into her arms, hold her to him, feel her warmth, smell her, hear her voice. He leaned against the window, holding the screen close to his face, breathing slow, remembering the night she had come out of her room to sit with him in the hallway, her shoulder pressing gently against his arm, the soft sound of her breath. “Even if we find the right place, how exactly are we gonna get in?” he heard Sasori asking from the row in front. “There’ll be key cards and cameras and scanners and all sorts of shit, right?”“Probably,” Deidara murmured back. “Maybe a back entrance? Maybe we’ll have to detonate a few things, take a wall out or something—”“Don’t say that on a plane!!”  When they landed, Kakuzu handed out medical face masks and touristy baseball caps. Deidara scowled as Hidan smushed an ‘I <3 Italy’ cap over his hair.“Frankly, you guys stand out, and if we’re trying to be subtle, might as well start now,” Kakuzu said with a shrug.“Yeah,” Sasori said sarcastically, looking meaningfully from Kakuzu’s bright green eyes to Kisame’s blueish face. “Because all of us stand out to a totally equal degree .”“Do you think we should head to the factory first? Or the main building?” Itachi asked Pain in a low voice while Kisame and Deidara wandered outside the airport to see if they could rent a car. Pain considered this. “Maybe the main building first, if we might be able to get any kind of information from the front desk that might be helpful. Maybe they give tours or something, who knows. I dunno how big the place really is.”Kisame came over to get Pain to rent the car, as he was eighteen and had the most driving experience. They bundled into a minivan and set off for the MIRAI building. At the very least, driving in Italy took Pain’s mind off Konan for the first time in weeks; there wasn’t much room for daydreaming when trying to navigate a ten-lane roundabout while other drivers yelled vaffanculo and gestured wildly at him if he so much as thought about merging into their lane. (This provided some much-needed entertainment for everyone else in the van, but Pain had to yell at the others to make Hidan shut up, as he had rolled down the window and started swearing and gesturing right back, which was not helpful for focusing on the road.) Eventually, they seemed to be reaching the right area — a mix of beautiful, traditional buildings retrofitted as office blocks and trendy apartments, and new builds, sleek skyscrapers blocking the setting sun.“Okay, it’s just up here…” Itachi said, consulting his phone. “There should be visitor parking, but maybe if you can find street parking, that could be better.”“I guess it’s after hours,” Pain murmured to himself, seeing how few cars were parked on the street. It still seemed a little odd, for such a central area. He parallel parked, and Kakuzu got out to pay for parking.“Okay, everyone take one of these just in case,” Itachi said, handing out mini laser pointers. “If necessary, beam it at the security cameras.” “I mean, hopefully we’re just checking things out first,” Pain said quietly, his eyes on the huge gold MIRAI sign, set above the glass doors. “But…” He trailed off, looking at the glass. There was something odd there. “Come on,” he said, getting out of the van himself, pulling the brim of his hat down and making sure his mask was up. The others followed him. They crossed the street, heading for the glass doors. As they approached, the shadow Pain had seen on the glass caught the light, showing a bright red spatter.“Oh, shit,” Sasori breathed next to him. “Is that blood?”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Before they had even reached the boardroom on the 12th floor, Konan knew something was seriously, seriously wrong. The building alarms were going off a few floors below, wailing and ringing faintly as they hurried along the corridor. Her father shoved a bluetooth earpiece in and started demanding updates in progressively harried English, Japanese, and Italian.Konan was slow, stiff and achy from lack of exercise and the treatments, and struggling to run in the heels. Her father finally snapped his fingers at Luca, who bent to take them off her, then pulled her along to catch up.“What’s going on? Who’s coming? Why are the alarms going off?” Konan panted as they tore down another corridor. Nobody answered. Luca was barking orders into his own earpiece, instructing someone, somewhere, to lock the doors and call for backup.They reached the boardroom. Konan’s father dabbed at his face and neck with his silk pocket square as Luca and three other security guards swept the room. Two guards remained outside the door, looking up and down the hallway. Konan tugged the silk dress away from her where it was stuck with sweat, fanning her face as she watched her father walk to the crystal drinks cabinet and pour himself a whiskey. “Dad, what is happening? ” Konan asked again.Her father downed the whiskey in one and poured another silently. Konan rolled her eyes in irritation, but couldn’t help biting her nails anxiously. Whatever was going on, she really, really did not like it.“They’re coming,” Luca said abruptly, fingers pressed to his earpiece. “They’re at the elevator. You still taking this as a business meeting, sir?” “Of course,” Konan’s dad snapped, straightening his tie again. He glanced around at Konan. “Take her into the viewing room,” he instructed. “Sir, I should remain with you—” Luca began, but her dad cut him off.“With her,” he said firmly. He stepped toward Konan and reached out a hand. She flinched automatically as he reached for her, and she saw, somewhere in his eyes, a flash of hurt and regret. He stroked her hair. “My girl.” He gazed at her for another moment, dark eyes holding amber, until his expression abruptly closed over and he jerked his head at Luca and turned his back on them. Konan slapped Luca’s hand down as he reached for her arm. “No, wait, I want to know—”“Too late,” Luca grunted, grabbing her arm tightly and dragging her back towards the concealed door on the wall.“No, wait, wait—” Konan reached for her dad. There were faint bangs coming from the floor below, like fireworks, or… gunfire? “Luca,” her father said, a note of urgency in his voice now.“No, no, no—” Konan cried as Luca grabbed her up by the waist and hoisted her over his shoulder as she fought him. He opened a hidden door on the wall, heaved her inside, and locked it, flipping her against the wall, shoving her face against it as she tried to kick backwards. “Stop it! Let me go!” His hands were so big he only needed one to hold her head against the wall. She heard the zip ties come out.“Are you gonna make me tie you up again?” he hissed. “You have to shut up, or they’ll find you, idiot!” “What do you mean, who’s looking for me!? Get off–!! ” Konan protested, as loud as she could with her mouth smushed into the wall. He shifted so the back of his upper arm kept her head pressed down and wrenched her hands behind her back, tying them together and pulling the zip ties tight. “Ow!” Konan groaned into the wall.“Shut up already, they’re coming in!” Luca hissed, and Konan could hear the desperation in his voice. “Are you gonna relax already?”Konan nodded, and he slowly removed his arm from her head. She stood up, scowling at the now depressingly familiar discomfort of having her wrists tied behind her back, and turned around. They were in a small, dark room off the executive boardroom, a place she remembered playing in as a very small child, but hadn’t been inside for years. The ornate gold-wreathed mirror in the boardroom was 2-way, and Luca was standing in front of the glass, watching her warily. Konan ignored him, stepping around him to watch her father. He was standing by the floor-to-ceiling windows, one hand in his pocket, the other holding his whiskey glass, the picture of ease. Facing him across the table was an older man in a brown double-breasted suit jacket with a gold pocket square. He had a large forehead, receding hairline, and was sitting in a chair at the long mahogany board table like he owned the building. Two younger men, both in sunglasses and grey suit jackets, stood on either side of him. A third was walking around to the other end of the table, looking around, hands in his pockets. One of Konan’s father’s security guards stood in the corner closest to him, his shoulder blocking part of the 2-way mirror. The other two stood spaced out by the head of the table.“Who is that?” Konan whispered.Luca pressed a finger to his mouth, but Konan watched as he pressed a finger to his earphone and started asking, in a low voice, for someone to come in, seemingly getting nothing one after another as he switched names and codes. “Alpha 4, come in, over. Alpha 4, what’s your status, over. Charlie 7, come in, over. Charlie 7, come in. Eagle 1, do you have eyes on hallway 10-South? 10-South, hallway 10-South, any reports.”Konan ignored him. Aside from anything, the apparent lack of response was unnerving her. She watched the people in the room talking. The man in the brown suit leaned forward for a glass of whiskey her father had evidently just poured.“Is there a way we can listen?” Konan mouthed at Luca, nodding at the glass. He waved her off. She looked around the room again with a sigh. There was heavy carpeting and thick soundproofing on the walls. The door to the boardroom was bolted. Another door was built into the soundproofing, the same way the door from the boardroom to this room was concealed by the wood paneling. Konan edged towards it.“Hey. That is for emergencies. Stay put, or I’ll tie your ankles,” Luca hissed, pointing at her. He had apparently finished trying to radio in. “How come nobody’s answering you?” Konan whispered.“I dunno.” He faced the boardroom again,a vein pulsing in the side of his head. “Can we listen?” Konan asked again.Luca said nothing, but reached for a small metal panel next to the glass, turning a knob all the way to the left before pressing a button. “...and very frankly, I’m shocked that you would consider this even remotely appropriate, Mr Cazale.” Konan’s father said, his voice coming through the speakers.At the sound of the name, Luca groaned softly.“Who’s that?” Konan breathed. She looked at Luca, and could tell he was weighing something up. After a minute he replied, “Officially, no one, not your business, you will never meet or interact with this man, and I never said anything to you. If we’re in the situation I think we’re in, it’ll do you enough good to know that this guy is bad news, okay?”“Okay, you’re freaking me out. What situation do you think we’re in?” Konan hissed back, glaring at him. “Because, me personally, I was in a pretty fucking shit situation BEFORE, so I don’t really see how this could be worse!”“Shh!”The brown suit man, Cazale, was talking. “... not for you to say, Arakaki.” His voice had clearly once been a mellow baritone, but it sounded like he’d been smoking for decades. There was a raspy curdle to every word. Konan registered the use of her father’s first name with a slight raise of her eyebrows. “I paid for her, I want to see her, I want to have her. And I will, it’s as simple as that.” “Are you fucking kidding me!?” Konan exclaimed indignantly before Luca slapped a hand over her mouth. “Shut. The. Fuck. Up. ” he hissed, pulling her against him, one hand hard on her mouth, covering her nose so she could barely breathe, the other ripping the silk shawl off her.Konan bit down on his hand. Luca hissed in pain, trying to keep himself quiet, managing, after a vicious silent struggle, to wrap the shawl tight and force it into Konan’s mouth, tying it tightly around her head, dodging her legs as she kicked backwards at him.When he had double-knotted it, Konan turned slowly to face him, giving him a seriously!? look. He shrugged and raised his hands, as though to say, what did you expect me to do!? Konan shot him a disgusted glare and turned back to the window. Her father’s posture was stiff, his lips thin. “Mr Cazale, this joke is in very poor taste. You were notified that we would be going in a different direction. I was respectful in declining. We appreciate your support, your belief in the project, your financial backing. But at the outset, and constantly for the many years of your patronage, we have made it extremely clear that funding Andromeda in no way guarantees that an investor will be selected for partnership upon completion.”Konan gave a muffled snort into the knotted shawl stuffed in her mouth at the word ‘completion.’ What the fuck am I, a housing project!? “If every investor expected as you do—”Cazale grinned, showing several silver teeth. “She would have to be shared among us. Exactly.” Konan’s father stared at him. Cazale spread his hands as though to pacify. “For a price, for the right price, of course. But that’s the point, Arakaki, that’s the vision. A girl like that, and so exclusive, too. Only the very wealthiest of clients. This was a joint venture, was it not? Why not share in the proceeds?” “I don’t like what you’re implying, Cazale, and you overstep. This was a business investment, the same as any other. The rest of our investors are largely businessmen, like yourself–”“But not quite like myself, right?” Cazale grinned again, coldly. “You know of my reputation, of course you do. Why else did you accept my money for the project?” Konan’s father blinked, but his face remained immobile. Cazale continued. “And it was because of my reputation that you agreed to meet with me today, despite, as you put it, my inappropriate request, was it not?”“I agreed to meet with you because you threatened to spread lies, that Andromeda is not where she should be, to accuse me of defrauding the investors”Cazale gave a phlegmy laugh. “‘Defrauding.’ Always so silver-tongued, eh, Arakaki? Well then, if you’re going to deny it, put my money where your mouth is. Where is this girl?” He waved a hand, glancing around as though Konan would appear from thin air. “Show me, bring her to me, let’s see if all your promises and projections turn out to be cat piss, huh?” He chuckled again. “Come on, if you have been lying and she’s a dog, you’ll get rid of me. Who’s gonna pay 50K for a quick fuck with something I could pick up at the fish market?”“Andromeda is a success,” Konan’s father said, his tone icy. “You have arrived earlier than the deadline, but she is on track. But that is neither here nor there, as, I repeat, you have been denied. You are not in contention for her hand, and if you think I can listen to the filth you’re spewing about my daughter without personal feelings—”“What personal? What daughter, even? This is business, that’s what you’ve said for seventeen years. Business, business, so why are you getting all in a twist that I’m saying you could make millions over again by putting her to work?”“She will not be a prostitute, ” Konan’s father yelled, standing up, palms flat on the table, glaring into Cazale’s grinning face, “And, I repeat, she will never be yours. ”Cazale laughed without humour. “What are you, the daddy on the porch with a shotgun? ‘Stay away from my baby girl?’ You must have known that I wouldn’t accept anything less than what I want. And I want a return on my investment , Arakaki.”There was a nasty pause.“We are gaining nothing from this discussion. My position has not, and will not change. You can see yourself out, seeing as you managed to see yourself in with no trouble,” Konan’s father said coldly, standing straight again and putting his hands behind his back.“She’s in the building, isn’t she? As per your term report to investors, huh?” Cazale waved a hand to one of his black-clothed guards, who produced a glossy dossier. “‘Progress continues in-house as we approach the final stage of development,’” he read aloud. Konan watched her father close his eyes and swallow, before shaking his head. “Cazale, this is unproductive. I refuse to continue this discussion.” She heard Luca swearing under his breath next to her. “She’s here,” Cazale said, grinning.“You can see yourselves out,” Konan’s father repeated, walking towards the door, his three security guards following. Cazale winked. The man in black next to him nodded and said something into his earpiece. Konan’s father opened the door. From their vantage point in the hidden room, Konan could just see someone in a black suit the other side of the door, their arm raised, pointing a gun into her dad’s face. With a bang that made Konan scream into the gag in her mouth, the gun went off. An explosion of red mist blocked his head from view. Then his body fell. More gunshots rang out as men in the hallway shot at her father’s security guards, who were caught by surprise. Konan flinched as flecks of blood spattered onto the glass. She felt Luca’s pulling her backwards. A bullet ricocheted off the two-way glass, cracking it.“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Luca swore as the glass cracked, pulling her back towards the other door. “Go, go, fucking go, they’ll see us.”Konan was shoved through the other doorway into a utility staircase. “There’s people!” she tried to say, hearing footsteps from below, but her voice was still muffled. Luca heard them too, though, because after shutting the door behind them, he shoved her up the stairs, once again on his earpiece, calling for backup, for information, for anyone to come in at all.Konan ran up the stairs, Luca at her back, alternately pushing her and holding her up as she lost her balance, arms still tied behind her. She was crying, tears running into the silk shawl wrapped tight around her mouth. At the top of the stairs, Luca opened the door first, checking either way for footsteps. They were on the fifteenth floor, which was under construction – there was no carpeting, no real hallways — just the bare-bones structure of what looked like it would one day be more offices. The concrete floor was hard and freezing on Konan’s bare feet as she raced behind Luca. For a moment, it looked like there would be nowhere for them to hide, but on the other side of some scaffolding, they found a row of doors. Luca wrenched the first one open and shoved Konan through it. There was a wall-to ceiling window, covered in protective plastic film, several pipes running from the ceiling to the floor, and concrete walls. “Okay, okay, okay,” he said, pushing her to the floor by the pipes. “You stay here, stay quiet.”“I’m not staying here! Let me go, we need to go, we need to get out of the building!” Konan tried to say through the gag, unsure how much, if any, Luca could understand.“Shut up , okay!” he said through gritted teeth, reaching for his pocket.“No, no, no!” Konan yelled through the gag, seeing the zip ties in his hands. He slapped her. “You need to be quiet,” he said, breathing hard. “They can’t find you, okay? I don’t give a shit if we still have you at the end of the day, I don’t give a shit if you escape. Your dad’s dead, end of business as far as I’m concerned. But you will not make it out of this building if you’re running around by yourself. They’ve got guys through the whole building looking for you, and they will find you if you’re wandering around the corridors. So you stay here, for five fuckin’ minutes. There’s a door at the end of this hall, it leads to the helicopter pad. I need to get to the security office, and disarm the door, because that lock’s not gonna budge for love or money, okay?”Konan just stared at him, crying silently. He held her gaze for a second, gave her a curt nod, and left the room, shutting the door carefully behind him. —Pain and the others piled into the elevator after figuring out which floor the security footage was from. Kisame pressed the close button as the police sirens got louder and louder outside. The doors skimmed shut, Itachi pressed 12, and soft elevator music started playing as they ascended.“So… anybody else think we might all get killed today?” Sasori asked after a few seconds of tense silence.The elevator dinged at the twelfth floor and the doors opened onto a scene of total chaos in a window-walled lobby.Men in black jackets and balaclavas were crouching behind fallen shelves and desks, firing at a group of men down the hallway, who were in a mix of suits and t-shirts. Several bodies lay sprawled in the hallway in black with the MIRAI logo on their backs.“Um…” Deidara said as the entire group stood staring at the chaos.Wordlessly, Itachi hit the elevator close button. The sound of gunfire was muffled, and the cheerful music began playing again. He pressed one floor below, then the emergency stop before they got there.“Okay, I think we need a plan,” he said. “Also, I bought these at the gas station.” He dug in the pockets of his coat and handed a burner phone to everyone. “They’re family plan, so we’re all on speed dial,” he said, pointing at the colour coded buttons on each phone.“Konan was on the twelfth floor,” Pain said, closing his eyes to think. “She was being dragged away though, so we don’t know exactly where she is.”“It looks like there are at least three groups playing hide the bullets,” Kakuzu said, taking one of the phones. “The suit guys, balaclava guys, and the MIRAI security team, who seem to have been largely overwhelmed.”“And, as soon as the police get in, there’ll be a fourth group,” Kisame added, looking tense.“The fastest way to find Konan is to split up,” Deidara said, folding his arms and leaning back against the wall.“That’s probably also the fastest way to get fucking killed, ” Sasoro said, glaring at him.“Okay, okay, since we’re all here anyway, at this point we just need to find Konan as fast as we can, and leave as fast as we can,” Pain said. “It’ll be easier once we find her, anyway, because she knows the building. I say we check another floor for more vests, guns, whatever, get back in the elevator, then split up in groups of two to check rooms for her. If you see anybody, hide or run, go the other way. If you see police, get the balaclavas off immediately, pretend you’re lost or whatever. Text on the burners when a floor is swept so we keep track. Sound good?”“Fuck yeah, I’m down!” Hidan said with a grin. He was the only one of the group who didn’t look nervous. Insane as it was, somehow this calmed Pain down, too. Fucking crazy as it might be, perfectly possibly as it was that he was leading his friends to death on a wild goose chase, his mind was clear.“Okay. Let’s go.”Twenty minutes later, they each had a bulletproof vest and balaclava. Whoever ‘team Black’ was, as Pain was calling them in his head, they had lost several of their number on the fourth floor. He was very carefully compartmentalizing, trying not to smell the blood that soaked the neck of his balaclava. 
Just gotta find Konan. Find Konan, and we can leave, and pretend none of this shit ever fucking happened.
Running parallel to this inner mantra was the leaden, inflexible knowledge that whoever the two shooting parties were, they were clearly extremely dangerous, and now that police had arrived at the building, they were all in very real danger of getting mistaken for terrorists and shot, or arrested. He knew his decision to even walk inside the building after seeing blood was now screamingly insane, even more than it had been at the time.
But we’re already neck fucking deep now. There’s no fucking pause button.
Pain went by himself back to the 12th floor, winning the argument against the others that if anyone should be in more danger from not having a partner, it should be him as this was all his idea, anyway. Sasori and Deidara headed to the 14th, Itachi and Kisame took the 10th, and Hidan and Kakuzu took the 8th. As the elevator opened on the 12th floor again, Pain breathed a tiny sigh of relief that the all-put shoot-out that had been going on in the lobby was over; there were yells and bangs coming from the left hallway, but it looked like the way forward was clear. He exchanged a look with Sasori and Deidara, on their way up, and began running down the hall.
Konan, I promise I’m gonna fucking find you. If you’re here, I’ll find you.
—It was hard to say for sure how much time had passed. Enough that the gag in her mouth was soaked with spit and her mouth was drying out. Enough that the plastic ties around her wrists had cut so far into her skin with the weight of her hands hanging that they had stopped aching dully and had started to sting and cut into her as she pulled at them every few moments, not believing they would break but wanting to do something to count the moments. She was half-folded on her side, her hip aching on the concrete floor, and she was shivering from cold, the silk slip dress barely a barrier between her and the freezing floor.Earlier, probably twenty minutes ago, she had heard faint bangs and voices from what sounded like two floors below, vibrating up the pipes, as though people had been fighting in a bathroom. She knew the security room was on the west side of the building, and it would take Luca a while to get back, if Cazale had brought anybody aside from the handful of guys from the boardroom. But it shouldn’t take him this long, right? If something has happened to him and he never comes back, what then? What if nobody finds me? Unbidden, the horrible thought that it had taken weeks for anyone to find Holly’s body loomed in her mind. What if she died here, of hunger or thirst? 
Nobody would ever know what happened to me.
She shut her eyes tight, fighting against the tears, then shook her head. 
I’m getting out of here. I’m getting out of here. I am going to get out of here.
She opened her eyes again and looked around the small space. Other than the floor-to-ceiling window, the walls, and the door, there was hardly anything in the half-built room. She stretched her leg out as far as she could, straining to try and reach a large cardboard box against the wall. She could barely skim it with her toes. There had better be something good in here . She held her breath as she sunk her back to the floor and slowly, breathing into the discomfort in her shoulders, overextended them, rolling them and scooting her tied wrists up the metal pole until her arms rotated around, now tied above her head on the pole instead of behind her back. With more room to work with, she slid down the floor, wincing as her dress ruckled up in the freezing concrete, unable to pull it down again. She raised her legs and braced her heels inside the cardboard box, pulling backwards hard and slow— whatever was inside, it was heavy. Inch by inch, the box slid across the floor towards her. From what she could feel, there were stacks of ceramic tile inside. Half-cursing her bad luck and half-celebrating her good luck, she arched her leg inside, and separated her big toe from the others, trying to get some purchase on the top tile. This was difficult, and took several minutes, with a break for swearing at an agonizing foot cramp. When she managed to separate the top tile from the stack, she slipped her left foot around the other side to balance, her abs shaking as inch by inch, she lifted the large ceramic tile out of the box. 
Okay… Now what?
She knew she had to drop the tile to try and break it, hoping for a long enough shard that she could use to try and saw through the zip ties. She also knew that dropping the tile would make a loud enough noise that someone might hear it and come to find her. On the one hand, no slowly starving to death, on the other hand, potentially even worse situation.Before she was anywhere near close to making up her mind, though, she heard fast footfalls across the concrete floor echoing through the unfinished site. Konan was nearly deafened by the pounding of her heart as she stayed perfectly still, the tile suspended in her feet, barely breathing as she listened. The footsteps slowed, heading left. She heard something heavy shifting, heard whoever it was open a different door and slam it closed, muttering low, then open another, getting closer.  It’s not Luca, Konan realized, terror seizing her. Even if he’d forgotten where he’d left her, he wouldn’t dare make so much noise. 
If I break the tile now, he’ll hear me, but I’ll have a few seconds to get a shard into my hand, to try to get my hands free at least. 
She heard the static of a radio, thirty feet to the left. A muffled voice, speaking in Italian.“Anything?”“Not a fuckin’ thing,” came a man’s voice, terrifyingly loud and close. “He’s not gonna keep this girl in a building site, man.”“Check everywhere,” the voice on the radio said sternly. “When you’re done the 15th, head to the basement, the others have found a tunnel. It probably goes to the lab. And hurry the fuck up, the police are at the 2nd floor.”The man laughed. “No backup?”“Shut your fuckin’ idiot mouth, you said it’s abandoned,” the voice on the radio snapped and ended the transition.Konan heard the other man breathe out a laugh, checking the door in the half-built room next to hers. She dropped the tile.In the near-silence of the floor, it landed with an earsplitting crash. The man next door yelled in fright. Konan scrabbled desperately at the broken pieces with her feet, cutting them on the shards as she shoved in between her toes, raising her leg, bending at the knee, stretching her neck forward to try get it under her chin to hold, ignoring the blood on it—The door burst open with such force it was obvious the man had kicked it. He looked in, holding a raised gun, shock evident on his face when he saw her. Konan got the tile shard pinned between her chin and shoulder, wasting no more time, and turned her head, straining to grab it with one of her tied hands. She missed her grip on the first try but just as she got hold of it, the shard was wrenched out of her hand. She cried out as the shard sliced open her palm and she felt blood soaking down her wrist. The man chucked the tile shard into a corner and kicked the other pieces away from her then straightened, looking her over.“Who are you?” she asked in Italian, her voice shaking, the words muffled and barely distinguishable through the gag.If he had understood, he didn’t answer right away, his eyes travelling up and down her body. She shifted away from him as far as she could, pressing back against the cold glass of the window.“I work for your buyer. You’re the girl, right? Andromeda?” Konan ignored that, her eyes on his gun, which he hadn’t put away yet. The man was youngish, with thick, dark eyebrows and greased hair. “I’m gonna take you to the boss. He owns you now.”Konan was breathing fast from fear, getting a bad feeling about this guy. His eyes fell to her chest, watching it rise and fall with her breath. “He’s got plans for you. You’ll live a good life, you’ll like it.”She shook her head, glaring at him. “I’m not going anywhere with you!” Her words got swallowed by the gag.He snickered at her, rubbing his eyebrow with the hand that still held the gun. “What are you gonna do, run away? You’re stuck.” Konan watched him consider something. He glanced back at the door he’d kicked in, then back at her.“They said you’re supposed to be one of the most beautiful women in the world.” He tilted his head. “Advertisers really lie, huh?” He laughed. “I mean, you’re pretty, and your figure is better than six months ago. They worked hard, but still…” He tilted his head to the side. “But Don Cazale will tell people you are the best, and they will pay for it.” Slowly, watching Konan’s face, his gun still held loose in his hand, he shifted his foot between her legs and pressed the toe of his boot against the crotch of her panties. “ This is what they’re buying, anyway. That’s the only part of a woman that men will pay for, right?” He broke into a laugh, looking at her like he expected her to join in.“What a waste,” he murmured, his eyes flicking up to her bound wrists, the gag in her mouth. “The boys have been asking if we’ll get a turn before you’re put to work.” He pressed the toe of his boot to her panties again as she kept her eyes on his gun, breath coming in shallow gasps. “He wants to sell you as a virgin, but this’ll be our secret.” He got to his knees between her legs, laughing at her as she pressed away from him, eyes wide, trying to close her legs. He shoved them back open, digging an elbow painfully into her thigh. “Be good and relax, or else…” He pressed the muzzle of his pistol against her crotch, chuckling when she shut her eyes, whimpering in fear. “...I’ll say I never found you and let you rot here. Deal?”Konan just stared at him. “ Deal? ” He cocked it, and she nodded, eyes squeezed shut. “Good.” He set the gun down and slid his hands up her thighs, ruckling her dress up to her hips. He chuckled and shook his head. “I’m about to fuck a million-dollar whore.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Down on the 12th floor, Pain had found Arakaki Shin’s body in the mouth of the executive boardroom. The back of his head had been blown out by a close-range shot. Blood, brain matter, and tiny fragments of skull covered the carpet. Several MIRAI security guards lay dead around him and in the hallway. Near the head of the table, a large mirror with a gold-filigree frame had been cracked by a bullet. Pain did a double-take — it had looked like a mirror because of the frame and the placement, but the cracked surface was a window to a small, darkened room. On the wall next to the mirror, there was a tiny gap in the wood panelling. Pain slid his fingers in and pulled. A concealed door swung open, revealing the dim room beyond. Soundproofing panels covered the walls, and there was thick carpeting on the floors. Something silver in the corner caught his eye, and he turned to see a pair of sparkly high heels. His stomach flipped over. 
1000 to 1, those were for her.
The shoes looked to have been tossed into the corner next to a door that stood ajar. Pain took a deep breath, heart hammering, and adjusted his grip on the gun he had found, before opening the door, listening for any sound before walking through.He was in what looked like a utility staircase, everything grey concrete and solely perfunctory, probably never to be used by the type of people who would have come to the building on business. He glanced up, then started to head downstairs. As he got to the 11th floor, a large man in the black MIRAI uniform burst suddenly through the door, panting and sweaty, clutching his shoulder, blood splattered on his face. Pain tensed up in alarm, ready to duck or run if he reached for a gun, but he just beckoned him.“You work for ISC?” he asked in strongly-accented English.Pain hesitated, having no clue what the man was talking about.“ISC?” he repeated urgently. Pain nodded.The man looked relieved, leaning against the wall, leaving a wide smear of blood as he slid down an inch. “Luca Gambrelli, MIRAI Head of Security. Andromeda is on the 15th floor, behind the 6th office door in the left side. I was heading back, had to deactivate the alarm for the helicopter pad to evacuate, but there was no way to do it remotely, and my team was taken out. Here,” He tossed Pain a set of keys. “Find her, get her to safety. That’s what you’re here for, right?” There was a bang as the stairway door burst open again. A man in a blood-spattered grey suit appeared, grinning nastily when he saw Luca. He said something in Italian, and shot Luca in the stomach. Luca sank to the ground with a yell.“No!” Pain shouted. The man in the suit turned to him, and he tackled him, shoving him backward, seizing the hand that held the gun and slamming the wrist down on the metal rail guard until he yelled with pain and reflexively loosened his grip, the pistol falling down to the first floor a hundred feet below. The man elbowed Pain in the face and he reeled backward. The man’s hand ripped at his balaclava trying to hold him in place. Pain saw a flash of silver in his hand and wrenched himself away, his mask coming off, the knife slicing his arm, but it was only a shallow cut. He scrambled back, panting, both Luca and the man in the suit staring at him.“You’re the boyfriend,” Luca gasped, clutching his stomach, blood seeping through his fingers.“Yeah,” Pain panted. “Boyfriend?” the man in the suit repeated.“Ahhh,” he said, a nasty smile spreading over his face. He spoke in Italian, then switched to English. “You fuck Andromeda?” He clicked his tongue, grinning. “Lucky, lucky. You had her to yourself, right?” He shook his head, still smiling in a way that made Pain feel sick, even as his eyes kept flicking to the knife in the man’s hand.The man spread two fingers in a V and put them to his lips, sticking his tongue between them. “ La sua figa sa di melata, vero? ” He licked obscenely. “Honeydew?”Pain stiffened, jaw clenching as disgust and rage filled him. The man in the suit laughed at him. “Angry, huh? Angry because I fuck her before we sell her.” He nudged Luca with his foot as he shifted. Luca didn’t react. Pain realized he was dead, and fear mixed with the anger roiling inside him.“È ancora stretta come una vergine? Tight pussy?” The man was laughing, clearly loving Pain’s reaction.“Shut your fucking mouth, or I’ll kill you,” Pain hissed, his voice shaking.The man tutted, raising his knife. “No, you die, not me. Almeno you die with good memories of…” He grinned sadistically, stepping forwards. “Quella figa deliziosa e gocciolante, hmm?” He licked the blood off the blade of his knife. “Delicious dripping pussy.”Pain shot him in the right kneecap, then the left as he fell with a scream.“Shut the fuck up,” Pain said, his voice shaking with disgust as the man howled in agony, the noise echoing up and down the stairs. “Figo , you won’t finish the job? Longer you wait, one of my compagni finds her and do what he wants. Don Cazale l’ha pagato lui, so we get to use it first. Maybe you find her full of—”Pain smashed his teeth in with the butt of his gun and left him, groaning and gurgling. He ran past Luca’s body, back up the stairs, heading for the fifteenth floor, Konan’s face blazing in his mind.—Konan was crying silently, panting, her wrists aching painfully from the zipties, her hand still stinging from the deep cut in her palm. She was shaking uncontrollably, unable to look at the man, but unable to ignore his body, slumped between her legs. His open eyes stared up at her.For the second time, she heard the door on the opposite end of the floor open, and footsteps slowly cross the echoing space. If it wasn’t Luca this time, she might finally be done for. The man’s gun was several feet away, but she couldn’t use it with her hands tied. And now that he had shoved the tile fragments away, she couldn't reach any of those, either. She waited for the person, whoever they were, to find her. If they untied her to get her off the pipes, she could maybe buy some time to run by biting them in the face, but only if they removed the gag…The footsteps were quieter, more hesitant. With a sinking feeling, she realized there were two of them, moving around the space in opposite directions. “Do you think Konan’s even still here?” one of the voices whispered.“You think she escaped? We saw her on that security camera, though. If she’s gone, she’s fucking Houdini.” The fact they were saying her real name registered only vaguely. She opened her eyes, sliding her gaze from the corpse between her thighs to the kicked-in door. If they passed by, they would see her right away. She slid further down, closing her eyes again, and went limp, playing dead.She listened as one of the pair came closer and closer, then stopped right outside the room.“Holy fucking shit.”The voice was familiar.Its owner scrabbled through the broken door and ran over to her, pushing her hair back, cupping her face. “Konan!?” She opened her eyes. Grey ones stared back at her through the hole of a balaclava, scared and wide, quite unlike their usual dreamy expression. He reached forward and tugged the gag out of her mouth.“Sasori!?” she breathed, barely able to believe it. “What are you doing here?”“Holy fucking hell,” Sasori said, his voice breaking. "Were you playing dead? You scared the shit out of me..." He hugged her tightly, then looked up at her bound wrists. “Jesus, what the hell did they do to you?” He fished in his pocket for a knife and cut the zipties. Konan gasped as her hands were freed, wincing as she slowly lowered them, her shoulders aching. There were deep raw welts at her wrists where the plastic had dug in, and her hands were numb from lack of circulation.“Deidara, she’s here!” Sasori called, and Konan heard the other pair of feet running towards them.Deidara burst into the room. “Konan!” He gaped at her, taking in the full scene. “Who… who’s that guy?” Slowly, her thighs aching, Konan shifted her legs and kicked the man’s body away from her. Sasori examined him. “Broken neck,” he said, glancing from Konan to Deidara and back. “Did you… did you kill this guy with your thighs!?”Konan, who was so overwhelmed she was just crying silently, staring at her friends, still pressed into the corner, nodded. She pulled up her dress to show them where he had scratched at her legs, long red gouge marks, and the bloody bite mark on the inside of her thigh. Sasori and Deidara winced. “Okay, somebody needs a tetanus shot…” Sasori said, kicking the man’s body further away from Konan and scooping up his gun.“Can you walk?” Deidara asked, looking uncertainly at her bloody feet.“I’m not sure,” Konan said. “There might be…”“Jesus, there’s pieces of glass or something in your feet,” Sasori said, bending to check. He looked her up and down. “What… What happened to you!?”Konan’s mouth tightened as she tried to fight it, but couldn’t. She couldn’t fathom how to even begin to answer the question. She just started to cry.Deidara squatted down and stroked her hair. She heard them talk about sending a message, letting the others know they found her. As they were discussing it, the door at the other end of the floor banged open and someone else came sprinting across towards them. Konan watched, hiccoughing, trying to be quiet, as Deidara stood up and pulled out a gun. He stood, back to the wall parallel with the broken door, gun raised, ready to shoot whoever came through the door. Sasori backed up so he wasn’t visible from the doorway. The running footsteps got closer, apparently making a beeline right for them, like whoever it was knew exactly where they were.Konan saw him through the smashed part of the door, and saw his face crumple with relief as he recognized her. She started to cry harder, covering her face as Pain burst through the door.“Konan!”“Jesus,” Deidara exclaimed, reholstering his gun. “Warn us next time, will you?”Pain collapsed down at her side. He cupped her face, thumb stroking her cheek, and held her to him, kissing the top of her head.“You’re okay, you’re okay,” he whispered into her hair as she cried into him, so overwhelmed by seeing him again, smelling him, feeling his warmth, hearing his voice.“I thought I’d never see you again,” she said, her voice breaking.“Okay, as gorgeous as this moment is, we need to get the hell out of here,” Deidara said. “Itachi and the others are heading up here.”“The others? Everybody came?” Konan asked.Sasori rolled his eyes, carrying on with only a small aside. “ Duh, we all came. There’s police up to the 8th floor now, and apparently all the other guys are swarming down in the basement. Something about tunnels?”“The tunnel to the lab,” Konan said.“Okay, lab, normal stuff,” Sasori said, raising his eyebrows at Deidara. “How the hell are we going to get out, though?”“I got the keys for the helicopter, but none of us can fly that thing,” Pain said.“From Luca?” Konan asked in surprise.He nodded, but didn’t elaborate. “If we take the back stairs to the 10th floor, we can take the service elevator down,” Konan said, trying to shift into an upright position without scraping her feet on the ground. “It’ll take us to the laundry and maintenance staff parking lot, there’s no reason anyone should already be there.”“Brilliant,” Pain said. “Sasori, can you message the others?” “Already done. We’ll all meet in the stairwell at the 10th floor, but we better go fast. Pain, you gotta carry her, she can’t walk.”“Jesus Christ,” Pain exclaimed, looking at her feet, and then spotting the scratches and bite marks on her thighs, the blood all over her hand and wrist. Konan saw his expression closing off and shook her head, smiling faintly. “Don’t worry about it, let’s just go.”He nodded at her and turned around, crouched so she could get on his back, then lifted her up. “Tenth floor staircase?” he checked with Sasori, who nodded. They hurried across the floor, around the scaffolding and large flats of building material to the stairs, and headed downstairs in single file, Sasori and Deidara first, Pain at the back carrying Konan.In the stairway landing on the 10th floor, they met Kakuzu, Hidan, Itachi, and Kisame, all of whom looked sweaty, tired, and a little worse for wear, and all of whom cheered and sighed with relief seeing Konan. “What the hell happened to you guys!?” Pain yelped, staring at Kakuzu and Hidan, who were spattered with blood. Hidan grinned. “We kinda got caught in a sandwich of guys going down to the lab tunnel and guys who just came from there, scared shitless. It was pretty fucking epic.”“Scared shitless…? What exactly is going on in the labs?” Itachi asked, frowning.“Okay, we can talk about every single one of the hundreds of fucked-up things going on here after we get out of here, hm,” Deidara said, rolling his eyes but looking antsy.“Fine, fine,” Hidan said, looking a little put-out. “But I’m telling you that fucking story, it was like fuckin’ K.C. and the Sunshine Band!”Konan laughed, a little deliriously, into the back of Pain’s neck as they headed out the door to the 10th floor. “Do you mean Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid!?” “Sure, whatever the fuck. Same thing, probably,” Hidan said, grinning at her. “It so isn’t,” Konan said and Hidan gave her a friendly shove as they hurried down the hall.“I missed you.”“Missed you, too.”“Okay, Konan, which way?” Kisame asked urgently.“All the way down the corridor,” Konan said, looking ahead as they ran past knocked-over service trays, trying not to look for familiar faces among the couple bodies they passed, slumped against the walls. 
I hope all the staff got out of here… what the hell even happened!? Was anybody able to give any warning?
“Um, and then take a left, and then head through the ‘employees only’ door at the end…”They didn’t meet anyone on the way, which was lucky – they could hear faint yelling and urgent voices from the floor below, which told them the police search of the building was closing in. 
Hopefully they follow everyone else down to the lab, if that’s where they’ve all gone…
The thought of Kabuto and Orochimaru getting killed or arrested filled her with a little glitter of pleasure. Kinda sadistic, sure.
They deserve it, though.
They ran through the empty room service stations which serviced the tenth floor guest accommodations, and filed into the service elevator, which was much wider than the guest and staff elevators, but felt more like a warehouse lift. There was no elevator music this time. Everyone glanced anxiously at each other, and the boys closest to the doors kept their guns out, unsure what they might find on the ground floor. “This should just take us to the laundry, and from there we can get to the carpark…” Konan said, quietly, praying it would be that easy.The elevator dinged open and they all held their breath, the boys in front braced with their guns raised, but the service warehouse and laundry were deserted. The space was large and cement-walled, opening with automated corrugated garage doors onto a large parking lot – one of the garage doors was open, letting in the twilight air. The space functioned as part-laundry for the accommodation floors, and part-storage area for the kegs, water barrels, soft furnishings, extra furniture, and deliveries of piles and piles of office supplies. It looked like the staff had evacuated when they heard the shots and sirens, as there were wheeled laundry carts overturned on their sides, and someone had left the huge ice freezer open. “Should we hide Konan in one of these?” Itachi asked, gesturing at the nearest overturned laundry cart. “Does she need hiding?” Kisame asked, glancing at Konan.“I mean… it’s probably a good idea,” Konan sighed. “Every time I’ve thought I’m being paranoid over the last year, it turns out I wasn’t being paranoid enough, so I say let’s do it.”Pain lowered here into a large laundry cart of clean bedsheets and blankets, and they put several more over her head before wheeling her out. “Okay… looks all good…” Kisame said in a low voice, wheeling the cart across the lot. “What now, do we just steal a car? Or shoud we all go back around for the van?”“I feel like we should try for as few opportunities for anyone to see Konan as possible, so I guess we should try lift one," Pain said. “Check for security cameras… but probably we’re on them already anyway.”“That van’s kinda… weird,” Deidara said as they hurried towards the relatively small grouping of cars left in the lot.Konan peeked over the rim of the laundry cart to try to see what he was talking about. A large black van with tinted windows was idling at the other end of the lot. Konan squinted at the logo on the side. It was circular, and was red and white. It was vaguely familiar, but she couldn’t place it.“I think that’s a… cosmetics conglomerate?” Konan said, “But I don’t know what they’re doing here.” She frowned at the van’s tinted windows. She wasn’t sure why, but it made her uneasy.“Fuck ‘em, as long as they don’t stop us, who cares,” Kisame said, and wheeled the cart behind an old Volvo.“Keep eyes out,” Kakuzu instructed before bracing and breaking the driver’s window with his elbow. “Pain, can you do the thing?”Pain laughed and nodded as the others unlocked the doors and Konan crawled into the back seat between Kakuzu and Deidara while Kisame headed around the building to pick up the rental minivan. Pain leaned under the dash, taking the screwdriver Kakuzu handed him. After a couple minutes, the engine started and he sat down in the driver’s seat as Sasori took the passenger seat. About ten minutes later Kisame reappeared, driving a minivan, and reported that he got a weird look from the cops making a perimeter around the building, but had talked his way through with his best stupid tourist miming.As the others piled into the minivan, something exploded with an enormous boom, and the ground shook. Everyone whipped around, yelling in shock, to see a plume of black smoke billowing from a large warehouse, one or two kilometers away.“What the hell was that!?” Konan gasped.“Was that the lab!?” Pain asked, staring at the low building and the flickers of amber flame through the smoke.“How do you know about that?” Konan asked, but Pain was already peeling out of the lot, following Kisame.“We’ll talk about it later,” he called over his shoulder as Konan fumbled with her seatbelt, thrown sideways into Kakuzu by the force of Pain’s turn. “Right now, we gotta get you out of here.”They headed out in a convoy, Pain following Kisame through backroads and alleys, taking the long way to the airport.“I don’t have my passport, though!” Konan gasped, the thought only occurring to her when they got onto the main road. “I don’t have any of my stuff.”Kakuzu pulled an envelope out of a hidden pocket in his vest and passed it to her. Inside was her passport, bank cards, and birth certificate.“How… what the hell?” Konan asked, staring at him.“In your dad’s safe,” he explained, tapping his nose.“How did you find it?” Konan asked in disbelief “What else was in there?” Deidara asked.“How did you break into it?” Sasori asked from the front seat.“Let a man have his secrets,” Kakuzu said, but he was grinning.“You mean, in the life or death situation we all just escaped, when you were supposed to be looking for Konan, you were robbing the place!?” Pain exclaimed angrily from the front seat. Kakuzu mimed zipping his lips.Itachi texted to suggest they stay one night at a motel to get their things together and hopefully to fix up Konan’s feet before taking a flight back. Pain followed Kisame to a dinky highway-side motel where they could pay cash and be sure they wouldn’t be caught on CCTV, just to be safe.It was very late by the time they got dinner. Deidara and Sasori ordered stacks and stacks of pizza, and everyone was so exhausted they flopped into chairs, onto the bed, and on the floor of Pain and Konan’s room and stuffed their faces like zombies, barely talking for twenty minutes. When Pain finished, he washed his hands and brought clean towels and alcohol wipes from the bathroom to try to clean Konan’s feet. She lay on her front on the bed as Pain took out the tweezers, polysporin and bandages he’d picked up when they’d stopped for gas, and started gently removing the tiny ceramic shards still embedded in Konan’s feet.“So… can we ask what happened to you, or is that like, a tomorrow question?” Hidan asked eventually, chewing on a piece of crust.Konan turned her head on the pillow to look at him. He looked a little nervous, which was odd for him. Konan realized they would probably be treating her with kid gloves for a while, until they were sure she was ‘back to normal’. Can I ever go ‘back to normal’ after everything? And if I wasn’t ‘normal’ in the first place? What if I never feel like myself again…? “Hey,” Deidara said, leaning his face briefly against her arm, dangling off the bed. “You don’t have to tell us, now, or ever, if you don’t want to,” he said, glaring at Hidan, who looked abashed. “If you don’t want to. We’re just relieved you’re okay.”“Thanks,” Konan said, her throat a little tight. She tried to clear it. “Thank you guys for coming, and finding me, and… everything.”Deidara leaned over and kissed the top of her head before standing up and helping Itachi clear up and fold the empty pizza boxes. The other boys said goodnight and filed out as Pain continued to work, apologizing quietly whenever Konan winced.Konan closed her eyes and listened to Pain’s breath as he worked. She was trying very hard not to think about what had happened to her father. What had presumably happened to Luca, and how many more of the staff who had worked in the building. The explosion of red mist that had burst from her father’s skull kept flashing before her eyes, and before she realized she was biting down on her lower lip, she was tasting blood.“All done,” Pain said softly, putting down the tweezers. He put polysporin on squares of gauze, pressed them against the cuts, and finally wrapped both her feet with cloth bandages.“Thank you,” she said in a small voice. Pain put away the medical supplies, then shifted up the bed, laying down next to her.“Is it okay if I hold you?” he asked softly.Konan nodded slowly, eyes shut, her throat tightening so much it was painful at the fact he felt he had to ask, at the hesitancy in his voice, at the fact that a small part of her wished he wouldn’t. 
We can’t go back to normal, can we?
Pain put his arm around her gently and tucked his chin over her shoulder. She felt his breath, felt his hair tickle her ear, and after a second, pressed back into the warmth of his chest. “I really, really missed you,” he said quietly. Konan bit her lips and nodded again, not trusting herself to speak. He seemed to know, without asking, that she couldn’t talk about anything that night. He caressed her arm slowly, kissed her shoulder every so often, pressed his forehead against her back. When they got ready for bed, he turned away when she came back from the shower, pretending to be looking for something in his jacket pocket, and she was so grateful that he seemed to know, without her telling him, that she didn’t want him to look at her just yet. Konan didn’t go to sleep for hours, even though she was exhausted straight through her bones. She stared up at the ceiling, crying silently every so often as the same thoughts circled around and around in her mind, overlapping, resurfacing, never dissipating. 
Does he think I still look like me?

Has he already been thinking to himself that I don’t look the same?

Will he be able to accept what is different?
Will I ever be able to accept what is different, given how it happened?
Will I be able to let him hold me, if my body doesn’t feel like my body?

What if he can’t hold me, given how this happened to me?

Would he just stay with me out of guilt or pity, if he can’t look at me the same anymore?

Will I be able to look at myself in a mirror and know myself? What if I never get used to this?
Close to dawn, too exhausted to stop herself, she thought of her father. The bang and the mist of blood. She wondered if he had known it was coming. She wondered whether the lab in the basement had been destroyed, whether Kabuto and Orochimaru were dead. She hoped so. She thought of her mother, and how she still didn’t know, might never know, how she had died. Where she was buried. Whether she had known what was happening, had fought for her life. That she had asked Holly to help her take Konan away from her father. Maybe to try and stop all of this from happening.
If your dad tries to take you anywhere this summer… say no.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

In the morning, they all packed up and headed for the airport. Konan was jumpy for the entire trip, looking over her shoulder and wearing a mask with her hoodie low the whole time. She was frightened because she didn’t know what had happened to Cazale, whether any of the people who had been looking for her knew she had escaped, and who had blown up the lab, if that had been what the explosion was. For the entire flight back home, she pretended to sleep, avoiding conversation, but grateful to feel Pain’s shoulder brush against hers every so often. At night, when the lights were dimmed and she knew Pain was asleep, she heard Hidan and Kakuzu whispering together in the row behind her. “It’s not just me, right?” Hidan was saying in a low voice. “She looks different, right?”“Hmm. Her piercings are gone,” Kakuzu replied.“Not just that, like… her freckles are gone. Her lips are tinted, or something, right? Did you see them yesterday? Aren’t they weirdly… like, she’s not wearing makeup, right?”“Who knows, man. It is kind of disconcerting.”“And she’s got a rack now. Like, where the fuck did those come from!?”Kakuzu grunted and shifted in his seat. “What, you saying you’ve got a crush on her?”“No, don’t be a fucking dick. It’s just like… what the fuck happened to her, y’know?”“Who knows,” Kakuzu repeated with a yawn. “Whatever happened, I feel bad for her. She seems really fucked up.”Konan shifted, curling onto her side against Pain’s shoulder. He stirred in his sleep as she leaned her head against him, eyes squeezed shut, wishing she could fall asleep, wishing that the last few weeks would turn out to be a nightmare she could wake up from.—Pain had arranged for Konan’s trunk to be sent to his dad’s house along with his own when the school closed for summer break. “You don’t have to stay here, if you don’t want to,” he said with the half-nervous look he’d been wearing since the morning after their escape, “But you are absolutely welcome.”Konan thought about it for a second. Or rather, she tried to think about it, but her mind remained dull and blank. In the end, she shrugged. “Okay, if your dad doesn’t mind, I guess.”“He’s fine with it.”“Thanks.” The others headed to their own places for the summer, after making vague plans to meet up again in a few weeks. Konan felt terrible for not being able to muster much energy or positivity for an enthusiastic goodbye, and then even more terrible for only managing a subdued greeting and avoidant answers to Yahiko’s welcome and questions. On the first day, she pretended to be sleepy and went to bed in the guest room early, locking the door, turning the lights off, and sinking face-down onto the bed. She gathered all the blankets into a little fort and huddled beneath them, holding herself. When she started to cry, as she had done every night for weeks, she bit down on the duvet to muffle the sound. The next morning, she slept late, then pretended to be asleep for even longer when Pain knocked gently on the door, asking if she wanted any lunch. She scuttled to the bathroom when she was sure nobody was around, and continued to hide in her room for the rest of the day, feeling terrible for acting like such an asshole, but also feeling completely unable to face the others. At dinnertime, Pain texted her asking if she was hungry, and if she’d like him to bring anything, or to leave a tray outside her door if she wanted to be alone. His thoughtfulness made her feel, if possible, even worse, but she did take him up on the tray. As she ate the bowl of french onion soup he’d left her, she opened up her laptop and made a post on a second hand luxury goods site, to sell the Birkin bag Holly had selected for her. She watched, waiting, until it sold. Whenever her laptop fell asleep and she caught sight of her blurry face in the screen, she flinched. She wasn’t really sure now how different her face was, or if she was being paranoid, but she was too frightened to look at an old picture of herself to compare. She hadn’t looked in a mirror for ages. When she had a shower, she walked straight past, not turning her head, and showered with her eyes closed, barely touching herself, just letting the water pour over her. She had had to give up on trying on her clothes, because hardly anything fit right anymore. Her underwear dug red marks into her hips. Her jeans were too tight, her shirts barely covered her stomach, stretched across her chest, and not a single one of her bras fit. The swimsuit Sasori had bought her last year was too small. Her sweatpants were tighter than before. She balled up the dress she’d worn the last time she’d come to Yahiko’s house, hoping to impress, and screamed into it, sobbing, unable to process the fact that nothing fucking fit her body anymore. Once again, she didn’t emerge from the room that day, only eating when Pain left food outside for her.She knew she couldn’t keep this up for long. She hated to imagine Pain, just having found her and got her back safe, feeling isolated and shut out because she wouldn’t talk to him and was actively hiding from him. All she knew was that she wanted to delay as long as she could the inevitable moment where his face fell when he looked at her, like he was hoping for the version of her face he knew, the real one, and forgot for a second that it was gone.
I couldn’t bear it if he couldn’t look at me. And how could he, when I can’t look at myself!?
The third day, Konan woke up at five in the morning and scurried out of the house in the white dress she was still wearing, a sweater, and the slip-ons Sasori had bought her from the airport, swung the Birkin over her shoulder, and headed into town. As soon as the bank opened, she headed inside to make a new account, completely disconnected from her father’s, and then transferred the money from the Birkin sale into it. Then she headed to the post office, packed up the Birkin, and paid express to ship it to the buyer, wanting to wash her hands of it as fast as possible. She stopped at a department store and grabbed hoodies and sweatpants, two sizes bigger than she usually would, extra-large t-shirts, and a size up of underwear. She walked through the aisles, stony-faced, with a basket of clothes she would have been swimming in just a month and a half ago. When she passed the bra section, she stopped. After a long moment, she sighed, closing her eyes and pressing her forehead against the cold metal of a rack. She needed to get new bras — after just walking around without one for a couple hours, her back was hurting and she felt more uncomfortable than she ever had going braless before. Ten minutes later, however, she still hadn’t worked up the courage to even try to ask for a fitting. She took a deep breath, grabbed a handful of bras with different sizes, and hurried into a change stall. Twenty minutes later, she paid for a couple D cup bras, the inside of her cheek bitten so hard she could taste blood. She used the department store bathroom to change into one of them, a pair of new underwear, sweatpants, and t-shirt. She felt jittery, sweaty, and more anxious than she’d ever felt in her life. She hurried across the parking lot into a corner store, barely aware of what she wanted, and bought sunglasses, a hat, lighter, and a pack of cigarettes even though she didn’t smoke.She jammed on the hat, slid the sunglasses on with clammy hands, and hurried off towards a public park she’d passed on the way to the post office, barely aware that she was tearing the skin off her lower lip as she went. She reached the park and crossed the field until she reached a small clump of fir trees, where she threw her shopping bag down as hard as she could and sat next to it on the grass, fumbling with her B&H and the lighter.As she took a shaky drag, she phoned Pain.–Pain had spent the last couple days in a weird mixture of intense relief and anxiety. On the one hand, Konan was back, and she was safe. He had to repeat this to himself over and over again, when he woke up suddenly in the night, barely an hour after he had finally got to sleep; as he made and poured himself cup after cup of coffee; as he walked past her shut door; as he set down trays of food for her and then removed the dishes after; as he typed and deleted dozens and dozens of messages to her, not sure what to say, not sure what she wanted or needed to hear. 
She’s okay. She’s here. She’s back. She’s safe. She’s okay. She’s here. She’s safe…
At the same time, he hadn’t seen her since they had got to the house. He woke with a start when he heard her door open quietly, and footsteps cross the hall to the bathroom, alert for this tiniest confirmation that she was still in the house. That she had physical presence, was breathing the air, weighing down the mattress, her feet making the floorboards squeak. He listened to her wash her hands, unlock the door, pad back across to the guest room. She was eating, but barely; she left at least half of what he put on a tray outside the door. Every evening he gazed down at the food left on the plate, his chest aching, swallowing the urge to knock on the door and check on her.Pain had fended off his dad’s initial questions the night they had arrived — where had they been, what had happened, was Konan okay — but it was getting more and more difficult to answer his follow-ups, or even his worried glances across the breakfast table when he clearly wanted to ask, but chose to leave it. He’d been fending off Sasori, too, taking hours to text him back, not letting himself spill all his worries to his friend because he knew it would probably stress Konan out if she knew, even if she’d tell him to do it anyway.Hardest of all to avoid were his own questions. He knew he was thinking about exactly what Konan didn’t want him to be thinking about. The night in the hotel, she had shied away from him, curving away as they lay in bed together, hiding her face in the pillow, in shadow, behind her hair. She had held her arms folded in front of her body as she scurried to the bathroom, turned the lights off and clutched her folded towel in front of her as she came back to bed. Pain had seen her face when she’d noticed the boys looking at her a little too long, when Hidan had asked what had happened to her. He’d heard the others whispering on the plane, asking why her face was different. 
What happened to you?
Pain stood up abruptly and left his bedroom, heading out to the garage. Whenever his thoughts had spun to this point over the last few days, he got out his dad’s tools and started fixing stuff. It was hard to spiral too extremely when you were focusing on chipping old grout out from bathroom tiles. He grabbed the toolbag and headed back inside, ignoring his dad’s glance over the top of his newspaper as he passed him in the living room. He set up in the bathroom again and prepped the caulk gun. Konan had gone out that morning. He had heard her leaving, and her flip flops were gone. If she wasn’t back by the afternoon, he’d call her. He squeezed a steady stripe of caulk between the tiles of the backsplash he’d prepped the day before, then swiped his thumb across to smooth it out. He was aware of her absence, aware of exactly how long she’d been gone, down to the minute like it was a high-pitched whine in the back of his head. He felt taut, spring-loaded, waiting for a signal, a gun to go off. He pushed it all down, trying to focus. 
She doesn’t want me with her right now. She doesn’t want me looking for her. She doesn’t want me looking at her.
As much as he understood it, to the extent he could, somehow the reminder to himself hurt a little, like he was pressing down on a small bruise. Before he could shake it off, he wondered, …What if she doesn’t want me with her at all anymore? What if she can’t look at me anymore? What if she doesn’t feel she can be with me anymore?The caulk gun dipped down as he caught his own disconcerted, anxious gaze in the mirror for a second. He took a calming breath, then another. Don’t call her, don’t call her, don’t call her. If you do call her and she doesn’t pick up, wouldn’t that be worse? He gazed vacantly at the tiles, trying to parse the least painful path through this mess, the high-pitched hum of Konan’s absence sharpening and growing louder in his head as he lost focus again. The blare of his ringtone made him jump and nearly drop the caulking gun. He put it down quickly and snatched up his phone, seeing Konan’s photo lighting up the screen. He slammed the bathroom door shut and dragged his thumb across to answer, shoving his hair back anxiously. “Hello?”She didn’t speak for a minute. He knew from her breathing she was crying.“Hey.” Her voice was thick.“Hey, baby,” he sighed, barely able to contain the relief he felt, the rush of calm that washed over him just to hear her voice, even if she was upset, in the milliseconds before he started to worry about why. “What’s going on?”“I miss you,” she sniffed.“I miss you!” he said, closing his eyes and leaning back against the door, the phone pressed tight against his ear, listening to her shaky breathing. “Where are you?”“Um, I’m at the park. A couple blocks away, near the post office. Can you come?”“Yeah, I’m on my way,” Pain said, chucking the caulk gun, paper towels, and scraper he’d got out into the tool bag and unlocking the bathroom door. The caulk would harden, but he didn’t care. He raced down the hall and shoved his shoes on, tugging the backs over his heels one-handed and scooping up his keys, ignoring his dad’s inquiring call from the kitchen. “Did you go for a walk?” He wrenched the door open and slammed it shut, running up the path and down the street.Konan sighed heavily and sniffed again, clearing her throat. “I sold the bag and I went to the bank, and then I went shopping…”“Busy day,” Pain panted, running across the road when there was a gap in the cars. “Well, I wanted… I dunno…” Her voice tightened and Pain picked up the pace, sprinting up the sidewalk, swerving around an old lady with her shopping. “I was trying to, just, get something sorted out… everything’s just fucking wrong, and I don’t know what to do…” She trailed off, voice breaking.Pain took a shortcut up a grassy hill and through the skate park. “Baby, where are you?” he panted, slowing down and staring around at the dog walkers circuiting the path, a group of girls at the swings, a family picnic by the benches. “By the trees,” she sniffedPain laughed breathlessly in spite of himself. “Honey, which trees?”“Pine trees. I’m under a big one.”Pain looked around and started jogging over to the biggest pine tree in the park, over by the side furthest from the playground, away from the path. “Thanks for calling me.”“Thanks for coming.” He reached the cluster of pine trees, pushing his way through the branches. He ducked under the branches to the biggest one and found her sitting against the trunk, holding her phone, a carrier bag stuffed with clothes next to her, and an open pack of smokes in front of her.“Hey,” he said, shoulders lowering with relief. He ended the call. “Can I join you?”She nodded. He sat down in front of her. She turned away from him, rubbing her eyes with her sleeve. Pain’s stomach sank as he watched her hide her face.“You don’t want me to look at you, do you?” he said softly.Konan’s mouth crumpled and she closed her eyes, nodding slowly. A tear leaked from under her eyelashes. Pain took a deep breath. “Okay.” He crawled forward next to her, turning to sit against the tree trunk by her side. He grabbed the smoke pack and shook one out. “May I?” “You don’t smoke.”“Neither do you,” he said cheerfully, helping himself and holding a hand out for a lighter. She gave it to him, and he lit up, taking a slow drag. He tossed the lighter back to her and took hold of her hand. “How’s this? I won’t look at you.” True to his word, he kept his gaze straight ahead, even when he felt her looking at him sideways. “Okay.” Her voice was so quiet. “Can you tell me what’s going on?” Pain asked after a few seconds, exhaling a cloud of smoke, eyes closed, focusing on the warmth of Konan’s hand in his.Konan took a deep breath, shaking at the end. “None of my clothes fit.”“Hmm.” Pain nodded, taking another drag, just listening. “I’m scared, and I’m angry,” Konan continued, getting closer and closer to crying again the more she talked. “My underwear doesn’t fit. My shirts are too small. The dress I wore just two months ago to meet your dad is too fucking small. I had to get a new bra, and I’m a D cup now, it doesn’t make any fucking sense. I don’t want any of this, I don’t know what’s going on, I want everything to go back to normal, but nothing fits, and everybody says my face is wrong, and I just…” She broke off with a sob, holding her face. “I’m scared to look in the mirror because I won’t recognize myself. I’m scared…” Pain waited for her, squeezing her hand, wishing she would let him hold her. When she calmed down, he said, “Scared of what?”“I can’t say it,” she breathed. “Why not?” he murmured.“I don’t want to… I’m scared if I say it, it’ll be real. I know it’s stupid, but what if… I don’t want it to be true, but I’m scared it is already.”Pain stubbed out the cigarette. “Tell me,” he said gently, lacing his fingers with hers. “It’ll be okay.”She was quiet for a long moment, then, in a small voice, she said, “I’m scared that you might not be able to look at me. I’m scared you won’t recognize me, or that you won’t… that it’s too weird now, that I’m different from… me… and you won’t be able to look at me. Or worse, you’ll tell me everything’s fine but you’ll lie, and just feel like something’s wrong and you won't say so.”Pain smiled slightly, in spite of himself. “How will you know if I can look at you or not if you won’t let me?” Konan didn’t say anything, but Pain felt her shake her head. He sighed. “What’s going to make you feel okay with it?”Konan shook her head. “I don’t know.”“How about we just stay like this, and talk for a while. If there’s anything else you’re worried about, you can tell me. And there’s stuff I’m worried about too, stuff I’m scared to ask you because I don’t know what the answer is.” He stroked her hand with his thumb, feeling her flash of tension at his words. “So let’s talk, okay? I won’t lie to you. I promise.”Konan took a deep breath and scooted sideways, leaning her head on Pain’s shoulder. He closed his eyes, feeling the familiar warmth of her arm against his. A memory of her doing the same thing, sitting next to him in the dark hallway of their dorm, floated to the surface of his mind as though from a deep well.“Promise?” she whispered.“I promise.” He kissed the top of her head and lit up another cigarette. “Want one?” he asked, holding the pack out. He felt her shake her head slowly.“No. I don’t know why I got them. I was freaking out.” She paused. “I thought about just like, running away, or something. Leaving. Swimming away in the ocean.”Pain’s thumb paused on her hand as he took that in. He took a big drag and exhaled slow. “Yeah?”“Yeah. I know it’ll get… I’ll get used to it, I guess. But nothing feels right. My body doesn’t feel like mine, it’s like a stranger’s. I feel so gross in here right now.” She tugged restlessly at the front of her oversize shirt, pulling it away from her. Out of the corner of his eye, Pain saw her frown down the stretched neck of the shirt. “I mean, look at this shit, it doesn't make sense.”Pain smiled and took another drag. “Is that an invitation?”Konan laughed for the first time. “Not yet.” She shook her head, voice lowering. “Not yet.” She reached around and took the cigarette gently from Pain, taking a drag herself after all. “So, you won’t lie to me, right?”“Yeah, I won’t.”Konan blew out a cloud and passed the smoke back to him. “Tell me what you’re scared to ask me, then.” She rested her head back down on his shoulder.Pain watched the end of the cigarette burn, eyes on the orange embers eating away at the paper. “What happened to you?”Konan sighed against him. “That’s a big question.”“Okay, what happened the day you left?”“They took me to a helicopter. My dad was there. Everyone put on oxygen masks, but they fed some kind of gas into mine, and I fell unconscious. After that, I don’t know. I don’t remember anything until two weeks after that.”“Two weeks?” Pain asked, as calmly as he could. He took a final drag and ground the butt down on a tree root. “That’s a long time.” She nodded. “And after that?”Konan described the medical room, Kabuto, Orochimaru, her father telling her her mother had been dead for a month, the newspaper about Holly’s murder, the injections, IV lines, the ache of her body, Kabuto’s speech about her being an experiment, and being strapped down as they removed her piercings and started lasering off her tattoos.Pain squeezed Konan’s hand as she spoke. He pressed his back against the tree trunk, closing his eyes, mustering every thread of self-control he had not to ask more questions. Shout. Punch something. Run. Pull her into him and never let go.  Break down crying.“Can I ask a question?” she asked after a while.Pain nodded mutely, then remembered she wasn’t looking. “Yeah.”“How did you find me?”“Itachi did. He had GPS trackers on your stuff.”“What?”“He only told me about it after. I guess he thought something like this could happen.”“He thought something like this could happen!?” Pain saw her gesture at herself.“No,” he said quietly. “I’m sure he didn’t.”They were quiet for a moment before Pain continued. He told Konan about how they knew she was in Milan, about the CCTV of the room she was kept in and the Andromeda sales package. Konan snorted, but didn’t seem surprised.“Did you know about that?” Pain asked quietly. “Nope.” She lit up again. “Last one?”“Last one,” Pain agreed.“It’s just unsurprising,” Konan continued, a nihilistic bent to her voice Pain hadn’t heard before. “Of course that’s what they’d do. They basically told me all that.” She took a long drag as Pain stroked her hair. “Andromeda was funded by rich investors with the understanding that one of them would get me at the end of it. Probably if I was a success, the research would continue with a new girl.” She shrugged. “Cazale was right. My dad had a very narrow vision, for a businessman. Maybe he liked me more than I thought.”“What do you mean?”Konan sighed, and a stream of smoke blurred the air around them. “Orochimaru and Kabuto were focused on innovation, the experiments, the actual science of whatever they were doing to me. Whatever they’ve been doing to me for years. My dad thought of me as a long-term investment, a luxury product to sell to the right buyer, who valued everything my dad thought he should.” She shrugged and gave a hollow laugh. “Cazale just wanted to sell me for sex. Probably he was right, and they could have made more money that way, given all the free promotion I was getting online, right?”Pain hated the words she was saying and what they meant, but he also hated the matter-of-fact way she said them. He closed his eyes for a moment, then took the cigarette from her, taking a long drag. “Cazale. Who’s that?”“I think he was an investor. He came to see my dad all of a sudden, and brought a load of guys in suits into the building. I think he was blackmailing my dad. But that’s why they took me out of the bunker. Maybe if Cazale had made a better offer, my dad would’ve let him see me or something.” She shrugged, a bitterness tingeing her voice now. “He suggested pimping me out, and apparently, while my dad was perfectly happy to experiment on me, have me kidnapped and restrained, have my mother and his assistant killed, and sell me as a bride, selling me for sex was a step too far.” She shrugged again. “Cazale killed him.”Pain passed the smoke back. “I’m so, so sorry,” he murmured, wanting more than anything for Konan to let him look at her, hold her. Not even just to comfort her, but to comfort him, too.“Not yet,” she whispered, as if reading his mind. “How did you guys get in the building? What was going on when you arrived? After my dad got shot,” she stopped for a half-second, then continued, “After that, Luca took me upstairs and tied me where you found me. I didn’t see anything else.”Pain rubbed his jaw and sighed, recounting the blood spatter in the window, the bodies in the atrium, finding Konan on the CCTV, splitting up and searching floor by floor. After that day, he’d learned from the others what they’d each encountered. Hidan and Kakuzu got caught by a group of the guys in suits, presumably Cazale’s men, who had been destroying the offices below, and had fought their way through. Itachi and Kisame had found a discarded radio and heard Cazale organizing his enforcers to head down to a tunnel they’d found, apparently to the lab, which is where they thought Konan was. The signal cut out after a rain of gunfire followed questions about the presence of a different group, not MIRAI security, in the tunnel. Sasori and Deidara had found MIRAI staff hiding in executive suites and told them to stay put as the police entered the building, and then found what remained of the MIRAI security forces chasing down some Cazale stragglers conducting last checks for Konan on the upper floors.“The body in the room with you,” Pain began after a pause. “The guy with the broken neck…”Konan didn’t say anything. “There was blood on your legs,” Pain continued, biting the inside of his cheek. “Did… he…” He wasn’t sure whether he should ask, or could ask, but if it had happened, he didn’t want her to be the only person who knew. She’d said before, at Hallowe’en, how much she hated that.“He didn’t rape me,” Konan said, matter-of-factly. “He was going to try. Luca had left me tied up and gagged, which wasn’t helpful. The blood was him biting me.” She nodded slowly against Pain’s shoulder. “I killed him.”Pain had no idea what to say. He just stroked her hair slowly and nodded, staring up at the canopy of branches above them, so thick they blocked out the sky.“Did you kill anyone?”Pain hummed, accepting the end of the cig back from her and inhaling long, watching the end blaze amber in the dim light. “There was blood on the gun you were holding,” Konan added in a low voice, shifting closer.“Yeah,” Pain said, stretching out his legs. “I smashed a guy’s face in with it.”“Why didn’t you shoot him?”Pain finished the cigarette and ground it out. “I did. I shot his kneecaps.” He shrugged. “Then I knocked his teeth out.”“Why’d you do it?” Konan asked, voice soft. She was stroking a finger absentmindedly across his palm. “Truth?”He felt her look up at him. “Yeah.”Pain pressed his tongue into his canine for a few seconds, remembering the man’s condescending laugh, the flash of his knife, him sliding his tongue between two spread fingers. “He was one of Cazale’s guys. He realized who I was and got out a knife when I got his gun off him. He asked…” Pain sighed, glancing sideways at Konan’s head, resting on his shoulder. “He asked if I’d fucked you,” he said, matter-of-factly. “He asked if you taste like honeydew. That kind of stuff, gross shit.”“So you kneecapped him and knocked out his teeth?”“Yep.”“Huh.”He gave her a sideways look again. “Do you feel weird about that, or do you feel… I dunno…”“I feel… pretty fine about it,” Konan said, almost conversationally, squeezing his hand. “As long as you’re feeling okay. He sounds gross.” Pain nodded, reaching for the cigarettes again even though he’d said the last one would be last. “Yeah, I feel okay about it. He might’ve made it so long as he was smart enough to roll on his side. He tried to stab me, so I’m not too cut up about him.” He lit up and rubbed his eyebrow, hoping they could get off the topic soon. He had been carefully not thinking about that man, what he’d said, or the bloody mess that had remained of his knees and mouth.“Honeydew, huh?” Konan snorted. “People really will believe anything.”Pain grinned in spite of himself and took another drag. “Speaking from personal experience with the subject… He wasn’t so far off.”Konan laughed and shoved him lightly. Pain smiled too; it was the first time he’d heard her laugh in weeks, since before she’d been taken away. It felt like a beautiful warmth sweeping over him, a summer breeze lifting his hair. He kissed the top of her head. “You got more questions?”“Aside from the main ones…” Konan’s voice lowered again and she rubbed her cheek against Pain’s shoulder. “Just, remember you found it really hard to forget the gross comments you read on that forum? Do you think it’s worse to have heard that kind of thing in person, or to know what it all really was? All the… Andromeda shit?” Pain considered this. It had been… not a relief, but perhaps a needed resolution to his central question about the forum: why did it exist? Knowing now about the Andromeda project, the nature of the investor’s relationship to the ‘product,’ the pitch packet — it didn’t seem unbelievable that rumours about it would have spread through the investors’ organizations or indeed through MIRAI itself. It was disgusting, but it made sense that speculation would grow as the ‘deadline’ of her 18th birthday approached.What bothered him more sincerely was the intention behind what had been done to Konan, and the thought that some of what had been said about her on the forum was in fact true.“I’ll probably be focusing on other things for a while,” he said slowly. “But it’s not that different from normal.”“What do you mean?”He hesitated for a moment, pressing his lips to the top of her head. “I mean, I don’t really want to think about why your dad presumably chose for you to do gymnastics and pole dancing. The other stuff, dance and golf and horse riding, sure, if the intention was for you to marry some high-society kind of person. But… I guess also some of the comments on the forum are kind of true, if exaggerated.” He shrugged. “None of that has much, if any, overlap to the person I know you are, or how I think about you, or why I love you, right?”“Really?” Konan asked quietly. He sighed, smiling. “Really. I mean… I love you because you’re kind, you’re silly, you’re thoughtful. Because you’re a good fucking friend, you’re creative, you’re brave as hell. You’re my favourite person to hang out with, you make me feel happy, and safe, you make me laugh.” He kissed the top of her head again. “Like, yes, of course, you’re incredibly sexy. Yes, people on the forum and Cazale’s guys were being gross, speculating that you…” He shrugged, rubbing his jaw, trying not to get too worked up but wanting to fully answer her question. “That you taste good, for example. And you do. But it’s not why I love you, so other than the fact that I think the forum, the people on it, and everyone involved in what was being done to you are fucking disgusting human beings, I don’t give a shit if other guys were speculating about it.” Konan nodded against his shoulder, but didn’t say anything.“Okay,” Pain sighed. “Any more questions?”She shook her head.“You gonna let me see you now?” When she didn’t say anything, Pain breathed out a small laugh. “Come on. It’ll be okay.”Konan lifted her head from his shoulder and sighed, wiping her eyes. She gathered her limbs in, wrapping her arms protectively around her knees. “Okay,” she said. Pain shifted into a squat and crawled around to face her. She held her hands up, pressed to her face. He reached forward to gently move them. She let him, but kept her eyes closed, a worried line between her eyebrows. After a minute, Pain laughed. Konan’s eyes flew open. “What?”Pain was just grinning, shaking his head at her. “You look the same. Of course you do, I saw your face when we found you, and in the plane, and in the cab…”“But, look closer! Sasori said I look different…”“Sasori the big expert, huh,” Pain smirked, shifting closer until he was only a few inches away. Konan laughed, unable to hold his eye contact. “Hmm. Your freckles are gone. Or maybe just fainter.”Konan closed her eyes, loosening a tear from her lashes. It slid down her cheek. “See? I told you so.”Pain kept smiling, bringing his hands up to cup her face and turning her left and right, opening her mouth like a dentist to keep her laughing. “Your dark circles are better–”“What dark circles?”“–and I think you used to have a mole here–”“Oh, yeah.”“Aw! Did they shave down your shark tooth?” Pain pressed his thumb against her left canine, feeling it. “Pour one out for your vampire fang…”“Jeez.”“Your teeth are a bit whiter, your eyebrows are thinner but they’ll grow back, your nostrils are smaller, your moustache is gone—”“Moustache!? Wait, nostrils!?”Pain burst out laughing. “I’m just kidding.”“Will you please take this seriously?” Konan demanded, half-laughing, half-crying. “Okay,” Pain said gently, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs, wiping away a tear. “Konan, you basically look the same. I swear. Most things that are different will go back to normal. And I’d only notice because I’m lucky enough to look at you all the time.” He leaned in, eyes flicking to hers to check in before he kissed her cheek. “You’re still the same girl I fell in love with.” He kissed the other cheek. “You make the same silly faces and expressions. Your smile’s the same. Your eyes are the same.” He kissed her forehead. His gaze dropped to her lips, and he paused. “I do miss your labret,” he admitted. She beamed at him, her cheeks flooding with colour. “Me too,” she whispered. She kissed him, her body unfolding to pull him closer.—Pain was relieved that Konan seemed to have decided to take him at his word and wasn’t hiding her face from him anymore. Konan still wanted his opinion on the rest of her, but they decided to go back to his place for that, after a failed attempt under the tree. Konan had just lifted her shirt up when a crackle of twigs and a sudden beam of sunlight announced the appearance of a small boy who had come exploring. He had taken one look at Konan and bellowed, “MA! SOME GIRL’S IN HERE SHOWIN’ HER TITS!” before running off again. Pain and Konan had stared at each other, trying to muffle their laughter as the boy’s mother snapped, “Well, don’t look, Kevin!” and then muttered “Teenagers…” from the nearby path.Back at Pain’s place, they were relieved to see Yahiko’s car gone from the driveway. Konan didn’t quite feel up to an extended conversation about how she was doing, although Pain assured her he had told his dad she had really bad jet lag. Konan followed him into his room, and he locked the door behind him, feeling nervous, somehow. While he had known nothing was seriously different about her face and was happy to reassure her, it was obvious as a giraffe in church that Konan’s body was not the same as the one he knew.He sat down on the bed, and Konan fidgeted by the dresser. They were silent for a minute before Pain exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair.“Okay, how about I just tell you everything that's the same. Is that what you’d like to hear?”Konan was chewing the inside of her cheek. “Honestly, just…” She trailed off, shook her head, and muttered “Fuck it.” She pulled off the baggy t-shirt she wore and chucked it on the floor. She unclipped the bra, dropped it, and yanked off her sweatpants, standing naked except for a pair of black panties, eyes fixed pointedly on the ceiling.Pain watched her face for a second, then dropped his gaze. He swallowed, rubbing his jaw.“Jesus, I feel like a creep just staring at you like this,” he said in a low voice. He stood up and walked over, his fingertips skimming up her arms.“Is it okay if I touch you?”“Mhmm,” Konan nodded, blinking and lowering her gaze to meet his. The worry line between her eyebrows lessened and her shoulders loosened as he circled his thumbs over them. He felt her eyes on him when he looked down.Undeniably, her body was different. She had gone from an A-cup to a D-cup. She was a little thinner, but she hadn’t been eating properly. Freckles and moles Pain remembered were gone; he traced a finger over the places they had been. The stretchmarks she had had on her thighs were gone, but faint new ones had appeared on her hips and chest. Her breasts seemed puffy and red. Her nipple piercings were gone. There were needle marks and bruises at her wrists and inner elbows, needle marks in her stomach, bruises across her legs, a healing cut on her hand, deep red welts still on her wrists from the zipties, and healing red bite marks and scratches on her thighs. It was hard to take in everything that had been done to her.“Okay,” Pain said softly, trying to keep his voice stable. “They didn’t perform any surgery or anything on you, right?” Konan shook her head. “I don’t think so. Just… hormones or something. They did most of my chest before I remember, but they’re not, like, hard or anything, just really sore.”“Does anything else hurt still?”“My hips… my back, and my feet…” She twisted her mouth, then shrugged.“Well, you’re still mostly the same,” Pain said, only realizing when he’d said it aloud how unfortunate it sounded. He glanced at her, but she just snorted quietly and shook her head.“I think it’s mostly your hips and your chest that are pretty different, right? And your hips aren’t that different.”“I feel like they were trying to make me into a Barbie,’ Konan said dully, folding her arms. Pain watched, feeling a pang for her as she had to readjust part way through the practiced movement to account for her bigger chest.“Hey,” Pain said softly, reaching for her waist. “It’s okay. Some things are different, but you’re like 90% your same old self. And everything inside is the same.”Konan snorted again. “As far as I know.” She caught Pain’s eye and shrugged. Pain glanced down at her wrist, and frowned. “Your paper crane tattoo is gone.”He looked up. Her eyes were filling with tears. “I know,” she said, “I told you.”He looked at her other wrist, jaw clenched with anger again at what had been taken from her. The sphere of stars he had tattooed for her was faded, but still visible. He turned her around slowly. The angel wings were faded. She flinched when he touched her skin, the area still sensitive.“They took out my piercings. They lasered my tattoos.”Pain took a breath and forced on a smile. “Okay. Yeah, they did. We’ll give your skin some time to heal, and then we’ll get them back on again. How about that?”Konan sniffed. “Okay. But… you look kind of upset. Does it bother you? Do you think, like it’s too weird, or hard to get used to?”Pain bit the inside of his cheek, meeting her gaze and seeing the dread there, like she thought he was going to say yes, which was somehow worse than the question itself. He shook his head.“Konan, I’m upset because of what they have done to you. I’m upset because your body was fucking altered without your consent and nobody apparently gave a fuck about your opinion on your body. I’m fucking disgusted that your father decided to do this to you, that he’d been doing this to you for years, and that you’re stuck now having to accept and live with it.” His voice was getting louder, he knew, and he could feel the heat rising in his face. He took a deep breath, trying to calm down. “All that matters to me is how you feel about your body, and what I can do, if anything, to help you deal with the things that are different and bothering you.” She stared at him for a second, biting her lip, apparently taking in what he’d said. Then her face crumpled and she started to cry in earnest. “Hey,” Pain said gently, opening his arms and holding her close when she leaned into him, stroking her hair. “Cone on, I’m trying to cheer you up, not upset you!” She gave a watery laugh, but kept crying. “You know I love you. It doesn’t matter to me how you look. I love you, Konan.” He kissed her temple, his chest aching for her as she cried into him. “That’s not going to fucking change. I love you. I love everything about you. And I’m here for you, okay?”She nodded against him, crying harder.--When Yahiko got back, Pain went to help carry the groceries in, planning to have a talk with him outside by the car. Konan had cried herself out and was sleeping, finally, in Pain’s bed. “Can I talk to you?” Pain asked, hoisting a bag of vegetables out of the back.“Sure thing, bud,” Yahiko said, putting a gallon of milk down on the roof of the car and leaning against the side. “Am I finally getting the full story of why Konan looked so rough the night you arrived and why she hasn’t poked her nose out of her room this whole time? Because I’ve seen jet lag, and that isn’t jet lag.”Pain put the grocery bag down and leaned against the car, too. “Dad, I can’t tell you everything that happened, okay? I barely know most of it. But basically,” he barrelled on when it looked like Yahiko was about to interrupt, “Her dad lied to her that her mum was dying to get her to leave school so he could kidnap her, essentially, and keep her locked up for weeks. He told her her mother has been dead for over a month now. It seems like her father was involved in some criminal stuff. When me and the others came to find her, he had been killed by someone he was working with.”“What!?” Yahiko burst out, staring at Pain, who gazed back calmly.“We got Konan out of there. Probably, the police will find her at some point to let her know what’s going on, and ask questions about everything. Presumably they’ll be able to confirm what happened to her mom. But yeah, she’s pretty messed up.”“Jesus,” Yahiko said, scraping a hand through his lightly greying hair. “Why… What…”“And she’s going to move into my room for the rest of the summer,” Pain added firmly.As he had expected, Yahiko’s head snapped around and he stood up straight, facing him. “Slow your roll, there. That is not happening.”“Yeah, it is. She’s been having nightmares. She was kept locked in a room by herself for weeks. She is going to sleep in my room, end of story.”“Over my dead–”“I’m eighteen, dad. I’ll be moving out after this school year.”“She’s not staying here, then.”Pain just looked at his dad, eyebrows raised. He watched Yahiko think about what Pain had told him and sigh, folding his arms. “Where else would you send her, then?” Pain asked quietly. “Her parents are dead, she has no other family. You want to send her off to stay with Deidara? With Itachi? She’s my girlfriend.”Yahiko glared at him. “If you get her knocked up, I’m not stepping in and raising the baby, I’ll tell you that for free. You’ll be six foot under when I’m through with you if you get that girl pregnant, but I’ll flat out dig you up and kill you again if you leave her with a baby to raise alone.”Pain raised his eyebrows, trying to keep his temper under control. “You seriously think I would do that? You don’t trust me!?”“No man knows what he’s capable of until the moment comes and you’ve got to make a choice.”“Speaking from personal experience?”Yahiko glared at him. “You keep your mouth shut. I stepped up and did the right thing, and you are not helping your case, boy!” Yahiko pointed his finger in Pain’s face. “That girl is vulnerable, she needs to be looked after, not felt up by some teenage opportunist, so don’t you dare take advantage of her under my roof.”Pain laughed humourlessly. “You think I’m gonna take advantage of her? You don’t know what you’re talking about.”“She’s a minor.”“She’ll be eighteen in October, and we’ve been dating for six months!” Pain exclaimed, losing patience. “You’re acting like we’re fourteen or something. It’s not like we haven’t already—”“You better not have!”“God, you’re insane.” Pain glared at his father, then shrugged. “If you want me to move out now, fine, I’ll move out.”Yahiko shot him a dark look and moved to retrieve the milk and lock the car. “Save your money. You’re gonna need it for the wedding.” Pain watched him storm inside, then followed him, carrying the last grocery bag, rolling his eyes.—Over the next few weeks, Konan started getting used to her new situation. The scrapes and marks and bruises on her skin began to fade. Pain bought her new pieces for her piercings as a gift and replaced them all himself. She got her hair cut, as it had got down past her shoulders. She wore baggy shirts, sweatpants, and shorts most days, feeling more comfortable hiding her new shape, but she was slowly getting used to it. She had donated most of her old clothes, not wanting to see constant reminders of tops she loved but could never wear again.Yahiko wasn’t happy about her sharing a room with Pain, but he seemed to relax a bit as Konan began to relax, too, eating properly at dinner with them and helping to clean the house. Sasori and Deidara swung by for a weekend, and they all went to the beach. Konan had stayed sitting on a towel, watching the others until Sasori ran up behind her with a bucket of water and soaked her. She chased him back into the waves, laughing so hard she barely noticed her shirt getting wet and clinging to her, until Sasori did a comical double-take.“Aooga!” he said like an old cartoon, being silly. “Where did those come from!?”Konan felt Pain’s eyes on her, but she just laughed and shoved Sasori underwater.Everything that had happened since the end of term fair was just starting to fade from the top of her mind every minute of the day, when one evening Yahiko passed the phone to her, saying someone from her dad’s company was calling for her. Pain looked up from his plate, looking from Konan to the phone and back. Konan glanced at him, then stood up. “Okay.”“You don’t have to talk to them,” Pain said, standing up too.“I know. Let’s see what it’s about, though.” She took the phone from Yahiko and walked to the living room, giving Pain a small smile before sitting in the armchair where he could see her. “Hello?”“Miss Konan?”It was a slightly familiar voice. Konan frowned, closing her eyes, dredging through her memory. “Alma?”“Yes, it’s me.”Konan rubbed her forehead and scowled. She wasn’t overpleased to be hearing from her, in particular. She’d been annoying. “How did you get this number?”“We contacted the school for your listed emergency numbers. It seemed by some error this number and a cell number were listed as your home and father’s contact, but it seems it is associated with someone you know, after all. We weren’t able to reach your cell.”“I wonder why,” Konan said sarcastically.  “Hmm, maybe because my dad threw it away?” When Alma didn’t say anything, Konan sighed. “So, you survived the attack on the building, huh?”“I did, by the grace of God. It was a terrible incident. Please accept my condolences on behalf of everyone in MIRAI for the tragic loss of your father, who was such a wonderful—” “Save your breath,” Konan snapped, aware that Yahiko and Pain, who had been talking in low voices, both stopped to listen. “I’m not interested in your condolences, I don’t give a shit about the company, I don’t particularly care that you’re alive. Do you have anything else to say?”There was a stunned silence on the other end. Konan figured that the Andromeda project must have been kept secret at the company, and that unlike Holly, Alma had either not been aware of it, or was just better at toeing the company line. “Well?” she prompted, her thumb poised on the hang up button.“Um, your father’s law firm will be in touch regarding his will—”“Am I the executor?”“No—”“Good, then leave me out of it. Anything else?”“The funeral—”“Stick him in a ditch, for all I care, and no, before you ask, I am not fucking coming. Anything else?”She was talking louder than she had to, and realized she was being needlessly callous, considering Alma clearly knew nothing about anything, but she couldn’t help it; it was true. Given everything that had happened, she didn’t want to have anything to do with arrangements to memorialize or celebrate the man her father had been.“Uh, y-your tuition has been paid for the next terms of school,” Alma stuttered, sounding shocked at Konan’s rudeness. “The company will continue to run under the management of the Vice-President, as per your father’s wishes. Any belongings of yours in the building can be sent by courier upon your request, but your keycard will be deactivated for security. And, your mother was cremated as per your father’s request. Would you like her ashes to be sent to you?”Konan couldn’t speak for a full thirty seconds. “You, you… You tacked that on… to the end of a sentence about fucking tuition and keycards!?” she yelled, semi aware of the sudden scraping of a chair and the sound of Pain’s footsteps hurrying over to her. “Yeah, you can fucking mail my dead mom to me!! Do that, and then never fucking call me ever again you stupid fucking bitch—” Pain took the phone and hung up. Konan stared at him, panting, the colour rising in her face when she saw Yahiko lean around the kitchen divider, also staring.“I’m sorry,” she whispered, feeling her throat starting to tighten. She turned, shaking Pain’s hand off when he reached for her. She ran down the stairs, shoved on her flip flops, and ran out of the house. She was crying before the door shut, racing outside into the rain of a summer storm.She ran up the road, ignoring Pain’s voice behind her calling her back. Rivulets of rain streamed down her face. She blinked water from her eyes, wiping her hair away to see. The plastic thong of the flip flops was cutting between her toes and her feet slipped on the foam as she ran uphill to the main road. She heard Pain behind her. Heart pounding, she glanced to the side, headlights blinding her, and ran across the street in a gap.She heard Pain yelling her name mixed with car horns as she leapt onto the opposite curb, her hands slamming into the concrete guardrail of the bridge. She stared, panting, down at the taillights glowing below, the cards speeding on the causeway beneath. She pressed her palms flat, feeling the cold concrete, the uneven texture of the wall, sharp and satisfying as it dug into her skin. She breathed hard, leaning over the edge and closing her eyes. A hand caught her by the hood of her sweater, yanking her backwards. “What the fuck, Konan!?” Pain yelled, angrier than she’d never heard him. He spun her around to face him, holding her upper arms tightly.“What?” she asked, trying to wriggle free, her hair blowing in her face in the wind from the passing cars, but he held on.“What the hell do you mean, what? What the fuck are you doing, running into traffic, leaning over the side of a fucking bridge?” he yelled. “I’m not doing anything!” she cried, fighting him.He didn’t say anything for a second and just held her. She met his gaze reluctantly. He was staring at her, taking deep breaths through his nose, jaw tense, obviously furious and at a complete loss. Konan felt her eyes start filling with tears as she realized she was scaring him.“Don’t do that,” Pain said vehemently, shaking her. As she started crying in earnest, his voice softened, breaking. “Don’t do that.”Konan’s legs buckled under her as she cried harder, pressing her forehead against his chest. It felt like she couldn’t get enough air, and was gasping between sobs, clutching at his shirt. “Woah, woah, woah,” he murmured, lowering her down slowly. She sank to her knees on the sidewalk and leaned against the concrete barrier, shaking and sobbing, hands pressed to her face, completely unable to get control of herself. Pain put an arm around her, sitting against the wall next to her, and lay his head on her shoulder, hushing her quietly.“I don’t know what to do,” she moaned, her face swollen and achy, eyes squeezed shut, embarrassed to be losing control so utterly, but unable to stop herself at all. Like a tipped-over water pitcher powerless to prevent the water pouring from its mouth. “I don’t know what to do. Everything’s a fucking mess, I’m not… I can’t deal with this fucking shit. I just want… I’m just… nothing.”“That’s—” Pain tried to interject, but Konan kept talking in a flood, unable to hold it in. “My dad never fucking wanted me at all, he told me I was fucking made to be his stupid fucking Andromeda. Every fucking thing about me, everything I ever did was his fucking decision, whatever the fuck he wanted. What the hell am I supposed to do now!? Go back to school? My life is fucking joke. I’m not even a real person, am I!? What kind of future am I supposed to have?” She was shaking, full-bodied, her voice rising and breaking hysterically, her words jumbling incoherently as everything she had held down burst out of her all at once. “My mom’s fucking ashes in a box, and Alma, the stupid bitch my dad hired after he fucking murdered Holly, she just asks me if I want my mom.” Konan pressed her face harder into her hands, digging her nails into her forehead, feeling like she wanted to tear herself apart just to stop feeling everything. “OF COURSE I WANT MY FUCKING MOM!” she screamed into her hands, voice ripping from her raw throat. She was crying so hard she could barely breathe. Dimly, she could feel Pain shaking against her, too. She wiped her nose on her knees, her face soaked, gasping, hyperventilating. “I want my mom back…”Pain let her cry for a long time, coughing and sobbing into her knees as he rubbed her back. She knew he had been crying, too, the shoulder of her t-shirt damp where he had pressed his face against her. The warm summer air blew over them in waves with every car that passed as the sun began to set more deeply, the sky blazing pink and red at the horizon. When her breathing slowed to long sighs, Pain pulled her in tighter against his side and rested his chin on her shoulder, his voice soft and warm as he spoke. “Your life isn’t a joke. You can do whatever you want now, Konan. You can choose to do anything, be anything. Your dad can’t control what you do. He’s gone, right? The best years of your life are right ahead of you, because you can do anything you want.” His voice broke, and he swallowed before continuing. “And we… we can be a family. You’re already my family, Konan. You’re what I think about when I think about the future… It’s you and me, right, baby?” He pressed his face into her neck as his voice broke, and she felt him shaking, his hands in her hair, holding her to him. “I’ll do anything, I’ll go anywhere with you. Whatever you want to do, let’s do it. Just... just stay with me. Please."Konan nodded slowly, rubbing her knuckles into her eyes, wiping her nose. She raised her head, turning to look at him. The sunset lit his face with a fiery warmth, his eyes beautiful, his eyelashes wet. His expression was blazing, torn and determined. He cupped her face, rubbing tears away with his thumbs, searching her eyes. She closed them and felt him press his forehead against hers. “It’s you and me, okay? Never believe anything else,” he whispered. “Fuck them. Fuck all of that, fuck everything else. It’s you and me. And I’m not letting you go.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

That night, once the lights in the hallway went off and Pain clicked his bedside lamp off, Konan rolled over against him in bed, scooching to get closer, pulling him into her. “Hey,” he breathed, smiling as she slid up the mattress, pushing herself into him, catching his mouth with hers. He kissed her soft; she kissed him back frantically, sliding her hands into his hair, pulling him to her, wanting him closer, harder, now. “Woah,” Pain said with a surprised laugh against her, wrapping his arms around her. She slid her hand down under the blankets into his shorts, rubbing his soft cock, feeling it slowly hardening under her touch as Pain sighed and smiled against her. She sucked his lower lip, pushing him back, rolling him over and straddling him. She moved her hand faster, bending to suck and bite down his neck, shoving his shirt up, shoving the blankets down.“Is everything okay?” he asked, propping himself up on his elbows, looking up at her.“Yeah,” she replied, kissing and grazing her teeth over his nipple, closing her eyes when he gasped. She crawled down his body and took his semi-hard dick in her mouth, licking and sucking gently until he got fully erect, sighing and groaning above her, his hands in her hair, soft. She clapped a hand to his and formed a fist.“You want me to pull your hair?” Pain asked, a surprised note in his voice. In response, Konan sucked harder, sinking to the base. He jerked under her hands, gasping, and fisted her hair. She closed her eyes against the sting of her scalp. She swirled her tongue around the head of his cock, then sank back down, relaxing her jaw and throat as much as she could, breathing out in short bursts against his warm skin. “Jesus, Konan…” he gasped.She popped off him, lips slick and puffy, and got up on her knees again, straddling his hips and reaching over him, above the headboard to close the blinds, blocking out the moonlight and solidifying the darkness. She felt his hands slide up her waist and bit her lips. She bent to him, tipping up his jaw and kissing him hard and fast, sucking his lower lip, biting it, licking into him, nodding as he grazed her sides with his nails. “Will you fuck my mouth?” she panted, breaking away.She could just make out his stunned expression in the dark. “...What?” he asked after a second, like he thought he hadn’t heard her right.“Fuck my mouth,” she repeated, scrambling off him and rolling over on the bed until she lay on her back, her head hanging off the side. “Like this.”“You want me to?” He sounded uncertain. Konan found his hand and pulled him.“You don’t want to?” she asked, her heart pounding in her ears. “It’ll be fun.”“Do you want me to?” he repeated, shifting over towards her in the dark.“Yeah,” she said, closing her eyes. “I wanna try it.” She felt his hand stroking her cheek as he got to his knees on the carpeted floor in front of her. She caught his wrist and guided his hand to her shoulder. “You wanna hold me down?”“Do you want me to?” Pain asked, sounding uncertain. Konan shifted backwards on the bed, her head tipping off the edge as she mouthed at his cock, smiling when he fell towards her, hands on her shoulders. “Konan…” She licked at the tip, reaching her hands overhead to grab his hips and pull him in towards her. The head of his cock slid into her mouth, and she swirled her tongue around him, pressing at his hips to ask him to push in deeper. He hissed as he thrust in further. Konan focused on relaxing her throat as his cock slid down, focused on how full of spit her mouth was, focused on the ache in her jaw, on the taste of him, on the feeling of being used like this, focused on everything good and overwhelming pushing everything else out of her mind. Pain’s hips lifted and rolled forward as he fucked her mouth slowly, tentatively, not going all the way. She pulled at his thighs, moaning around him to try make him go further. When he did, she gagged on him, choking, tears spilling from her eyes into her hairline, trying to hold his hip in place even as he pulled out. “Are you okay?” he asked hurriedly as she coughed, nodding. “Yeah, I’m good,” she gasped, feeling lightheaded. “Come back, come back.”When he hesitated, wiping spit from her mouth, she shrugged. “Okay.” She rolled over and turned around. “You wanna fuck me like this?” She pulled off her panties and positioned herself on her knees, arms folded, face pressed into the blanket, ass up in front of him. “Is this what you want?” he asked, voice low, one hand sliding over her ass cheek. “Yeah,” Konan breathed, reaching back for him, grabbing his cock and pumping it, its length slick from her spit. “Come on.”“Okay, just lemme get a condom.”“It’s okay.”She heard him pause, half-way to his dresser. “What do you mean?”Konan closed her eyes against her folded arms. “I have an IUD, right? It’s fine. I just want you. I want you to come in me. I want to feel it.”Pain didn’t say anything for a second. “Yeah?”Konan grinned at the notes of disbelief and excitement in his voice. “Yeah, come on already,” she said, wiggling her hips as he laughed.“Okay, okay. You sure you want to start like this?”“Yeah. Do you think you could try choking me?” she asked, turning to find him in the dark behind her.“I mean, if you want me to…” he said in a low voice, running a hand over her back.Konan bit her lips at his touch, hearing the thunder of her blood pumping as she dug her nails into her palms, impatient. Pain slid his hands over her hips. He started to kiss across her ass cheeks before grabbing her and yanking her backwards into his face. She laughed in surprise, then moaned into the blankets as he licked into her pussy, fast and wet, sucking at her, holding her tight against him. She sighed against her fists, arching her back, grinding back against him, spreading her legs, wanting him to want her more than he ever did before, to hurry up, to just fuck her already so she could stop thinking.“You wanna spit on me?” Pain pulled away, biting her asscheek playfully.“Hmm?”“You wanna spit on me?” Konan repeated, raising her hips higher and pressing her face and chest down further into the blankets, muffling her voice. “You can if you want to. You could slap me, too.”Pain was quiet for a second, then he slid his hand between her legs, rubbing her pussy. She was halfway between a gasp of surprise and groan of frustration when he suddenly pushed her over, rolling her onto her back. He fell over her, blocking her in with his body, his hand back at her pussy, circling her clit and massaging as he looked down at her, a half-curious, half-suspicious smile on his face.“Konan?”“Uh huh?”“You’re being weird.”She flushed as he slowly slipped two fingers inside her, biting her lips. “What do you mean?”He watched her, still with that slightly suspicious smile as he crooked his fingers, making her gasp. “You never ask me to do this kind of thing.”“Like what?” she asked, grinning when he grabbed her thigh with his free hand, looping under and pressing it back, giving himself more room. He lay down languidly, kissing and licking his way across her thigh. “You want me to fuck your mouth… Choke you, slap you, and spit on you.” He raised his eyebrows at her. “So what’s going on? Just want to try some new things?” His mouth skimmed the sensitive skin of her upper thigh, then replaced his thumb at her clit as he continued to finger her slow, watching her face.She watched him back. “You don’t want to?” she asked. He blinked, then pulled out his fingers, lifting back from her. He lay down next to her on the bed, head propped up on an elbow, his free hand on her waist. Konan frowned. “What’s wrong?”Pain was still giving her a confused smile. “Konan, I can do that kind of stuff for you if you really want me to. But I’m just wondering, like… Where is this coming from, you know? You never asked for this before.” Konan just looked back at him blankly, knowing what he was thinking, and not sure whether she could entirely deny it.He shrugged when she didn’t say anything. “I can spit on you if you want, it’s just… I don’t really want to do that to you. It’s the first time we’re having sex since you came back, and I…” He shook his head. “Sorry, I know I’m kind of ruining the mood here, but just, I don’t want to slap you. There’s like no part of me that wants to do that. So if you really want me to, can you explain like, what that means for you, why you want me to do that?”Konan closed her eyes, rolling into him to hide her face in his shoulder. He reached out and began stroking her hair. “Hey,” he said softly, and for the very first time, she resented how gentle he always was with her. “Talk to me.”Konan pressed her forehead into him, squeezing her eyes tight shut. “I mean, you don’t have to do that. Spit on me. If you don’t want to. And I’m not sure I’d like it, really, just…” She took a deep breath. “I want to stop… thinking.”His hand slid down from her stomach to her hips, rubbing them softly where he knew they were sore. “Stop thinking?” he repeated.“Yeah. I just… you don’t have to choke me or whatever, I was just…” She broke off, knowing she wasn’t going to be able to articulate the hard impulse she hadn’t managed to shake off from the day, the desire not to be hurt, per se, but the desire to just be nothing. She could barely describe it to herself. She took a breath, lifting her head to meet his gaze. She licked her dry lips, pressing her hands to his chest. “I want you… to fuck me until I can’t think about anything else,” she said firmly. “Until I can’t think at all. I want to feel like I’m disappearing into you. I don’t even want to know who I am.”His hand stilled on her hip. She found his eyes in the dark and watched the surprise fade from them as his gaze got heavy. He caught his lower lip with his teeth and smiled slow, a dangerous edge to his expression that sent heat shooting through her.“I mean, that I can do,” he said, his voice low and playful.  Before she could take a breath, even, he rolled on top of her, kissing her hard, shoving her hands back when she reached for him, grabbing her wrists and holding them up above her head with one hand, kissing her hard, leaning into her, breathing into her. The other hand grabbed her jaw as they kissed. He pulled away a few inches and slipped two fingers inside her mouth, and he watched her lick them, get them wet with her spit before he reached down between her legs, rubbing her pussy for a second before sliding his fingers right in, pumping fast. Konan moaned, jerking her head back, loving the pressure of his hand on her wrists, the furious pace of his fingers thrusting inside her. He grinned down at her, a challenge in his gaze. He shifted her thigh with his knee and she opened her legs wider, wrapping her leg around his waist, raising her hips as he leaned further forwards, pressing harder down on her crossed wrists, the angle of his other hand changing to focus with almost blinding precision on the spot he knew she liked, that made her exhale in high bursts, eyes squeezing shut. Pain leaned into her, kissing her again, sliding his tongue deep into her mouth, licking into her, as she panted through her nose against his cheek, shaking and twitching as his fingers rubbed into her g-spot again and again and again, and Konan could feel how slick she was against him. He dragged his lips across her face, ignoring her chasing mouth, and kissed down her neck, licking and sucking where it joined her shoulder, leaving hickeys. His fingers hit a really good place and Konan writhed under him, trying to curl up, leg folding into him trying to pull him in and he laughed down at her.“Is that good, baby?” He whispered it, and he sounded almost condescending — she felt good because he let her feel good. “What—” She barely even began the question before letting out a squeak of surprise as Pain lifted his hand from her wrists, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her hips up. Konan let him push and pull her around, laughing dazedly as he hoisted her up until she was resting her weight on her upper back and neck, her ass in the air, and his arms were wrapped tightly around her waist, supporting her, his face buried in her pussy, licking deep into her. She could feel his cock pressed up against her back as he groaned into her, shaking his head, slurping and sucking at her, tongue circling her clit then sliding down, lapping into her. Konan’s eyes were squeezed shut as she panted, moaning and shaking. She reached up to grab her ankles, pulling her legs further down, loving the stretch in addition to the absolute insanity of Pain eating her out like he was dying for it. “Please, please—” Konan whimpered as he worked his tongue against her, his breath hot against her, his nails digging into her waist as he held her up. “Please…”Pain lowered her down, but kept her hips elevated, her legs folded over. He grabbed her hands, guiding her to hold her thighs open. He fingered her as he lubed up his cock, eyes boring into hers, breathing hard. He raised himself up, guiding his cock down with one hand, the other sunk into the mattress by his shoulder. She watched, chest rising and falling sharply with her breaths, as he pushed his cock into her, smooth and slow. “Holy fuck,” he breathed. “That’s so fucking good.” He took a deep breath, his eyes flickering shut for a second before he met her gaze and smirked. He watched her, grinning, as he pulled out so slow, until just the head was still in her, then pushed back in, just as slow. He did it over and over, skimming his hand over her thighs as his hips worked languidly and Konan completely lost it under him, whining, twisting, trying to buck up against him but he held her firmly, keeping up the maddeningly slow pace, making her so desperate for him she felt stupid from it. “What’s wrong?” he asked her teasingly. “You want something?”This motherfucker, was the only thought Konan’s overstimulated brain could summon. “Please, please—” Konan whimpered, crying out and tipping her head back in frustration as he pulled nearly all the way out again, then back in again, so fucking slow she was hyperaware of every millisecond of it, every millimeter of him stretching her, sliding inside her, the unbelievable pressure and gut-deep pleasure when he pushed all the way in. Pain snickered down at her and bent low to her face. As soon as he was close enough, Konan jerked her chin up, kissing him desperately, fast, how she wanted him to be fucking her right now, licking her tongue into him, sucking his lip, fighting against the hand pinning her arms, wanting to pull him into her, make him hurry up. He pulled out slow and paused. Konan, her eyes squeezed shut in frustration, didn’t realize what he was doing until he slammed down into her.“Fuck!” she screamed against him, muffled by his lips. He laughed again, the sound swallowed in her mouth as she kissed him deeply. She was letting out a tiny moan with every thrust, as his hips slammed down powerfully over and over and over and over again, fucking her like a sledgehammer. Her legs were spread wide and she was folded over herself, the angle so deep she was gasping, the pressure unbelievable when his cock buried fully inside her. He was hitting a spot that made her mind flare with blinding white fog and a ringing build in her ears. Each thrust forced a cry out of her chest, high-pitched ah, ah, ah into his mouth. He pulled out and released her pinned wrists, but she’d barely had time to register it when he started fingering her again, hard and fast as he kissed her, licking into her, sucking her tongue. Konan jerked against him, nearly sitting up, pressing her face back into him, moaning and gasping, her hands twisting in the sheets as he fingered her like a machine. Before she knew what was happening, she was coming, her whole body tense and shaking as he grabbed the back of his head, fingers sliding through his hair, holding him against her. She was nearly crying it was so intense. He tipped his jaw away and she stared into his eyes as he gazed back, eyes so dark, breathing heavy, face split in a wicked smile, just watching her. He fingered her through it, and as soon as she flopped, boneless, back on the mattress he slid his cock back inside her, fucking her fast and hard and she cried out in surprise, gasping. Her face flushed even more to hear how wet she was with every loud slap, hips slamming against her, pushing her up the mattress with each thrust until he held her down, pinning her at the shoulders, fucking her so fast she could barely breathe. Konan’s body felt like a slack tangle of limbs and a throbbing pussy by the time Pain scooped her up, lifting her under her thighs, getting her to wrap her arms around his neck, and walked her the few steps to the wall, pressing her back against it.“Are you serious?” she asked in a faint, slurry voice, sliding a hand clumsily into his sweaty hair. “You tired?” Pain panted, and she could hear the teasing smile in his voice.“Aren’t you – God!” Konan gasped as he thrust back in slow, pressing her hard against the wall to help hold her body weight.“That’s pretty high praise,” Pain murmured in her ear. “Shut up,” she breathed, grinning, and pulled him into a kiss, their lips slick, their breath fanning over each other’s faces.When he got tired, he carried her to the armchair in the corner, flopping down into it with her on top. She shifted over him, knees deep in the cushions either side of his hips, her feet folded across his thighs, arms over his shoulders. His cock slid back inside easy, she was so relaxed. Konan tipped her head back with a sigh. He was kissing soft across her tits as she melted against him, grinding into him as he thrust up slow. She lowered her mouth to his, finding his lips. By this point, they were kissing so loose and lazy they were just licking into each other’s mouths, deep and all-consuming, breathing and moaning inside each other. Pain’s hands slid over her asscheeks, lifting and dropping them, slapping them, playing with her as she bounced on his cock, then started grinding again, making him groan. “What’re you thinking about?” Pain asked her, mumbling against her lips as she tried to keep kissing him. “Nothing,” she breathed, grinning at him.“That’s my girl.”They returned to the bed when Konan’s knees started chafing on the chair cushions. She pushed Pain down on the bed, crawling over him to be on top again, pumping his cock a few times before holding it steady, sinking back down on it with a satisfied little moan. Pain watched her as she leaned forwards, holding herself up as she started lifting and rolling her hips again. When she hit a good rhythm, she sighed, eyelids fluttering shut and smiling as Pain’s hands slid over her hips up to her waist again. She felt his hands find hers and opened her eyes again when he pulled her hand up towards his face. He was watching her as he guided her hand to his neck, her hips still circling and grinding down into him as he thrust slow up into her.“Choke me,” he said softly, holding her right hand against him. “Yeah?” Konan asked breathily, surprised.“Yeah.”She grinned and leaned forward, putting some pressure on his neck. She felt his pulse jumping against her thumb. His gaze seemed to loosen and intensify simultaneously as he grinned up at her. His hands clapped to her hips, holding her still and in place as he shifted his legs, feet against the mattress, getting leverage. He started thrusting in a fluid, fast rhythm, his cock pistoning up into her at a good fucking angle — she tilted her head back, moaning before collapsing over him, kissing him as he opened his mouth for her, feeling her ass jiggling with the rapid slam of his hips. She kept her hand on his throat, and the tighter she held him, the harder he fucked her, until his cheeks were pink and he panted, “You sure you’re okay if I come in you?” Konan nodded hard and let him go, flopping down onto his chest and wrapping her arms around his neck as he scooped her around the waist and rolled them over until they lay on their sides, keeping himself inside her, hiking her leg up around his waist. He kissed her fiercely, grinning into it as she formed a fist in his hair, holding him close, angling her hips into him in time with his rhythm, her inner thighs slick, his cock sliding in with a wet slap every time. He slid a hand between them, rubbing her clit. She panted and whined into him, holding his face to her, matching his pace as his hips sped up, beginning to staccato. “Baby–” he gasped into her mouth.“Yeah, come on, come on,” she murmured back, grinning.He groaned into her, thrusting inside hard and deep, digging his nails into her waist as he came. She could feel it a little bit— a new sensation, something warm inside her, right where she was almost numb from the stimulation. She kept her legs tight around him, kissing him as his body loosened. It took him a few moments to get back to himself enough to kiss her back, slow and lazy and loose. “How are you feeling?” he asked lazily, trailing his lips over her cheeks, smoothing her hair back.“Like I don’t know my name,” she replied with a faint, dazed smile. He exhaled a small laugh and kissed her deep and slow, wiping her mind blissfully blank.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Pain awoke to a muffled vibration near his pillow. Frowning, the undertow of his dream still trying to pull him back in, he reached for the source of the noise and scooped up his phone. His grip still loose from sleep, he promptly dropped it on his face.Definitely awake now, he squinted at the screen, the daylight slicing in through the gap in the window shade half-blinding him.It was a text from an unknown number.
Hey is Konan with u?
He yawned, rubbing an eye, his thumb sliding lazily across the screen to reply.
yeah. who dis?
He closed his eyes again, putting down the phone. It was only a few seconds later, as his brain chugged sluggishly into gear, that a wary chill skittered down his back and his eyes snapped back open. Who out there might want to find Konan? What if it was someone who knew he’d taken her out of MIRAI and was trying to get her back. If they’d found his number somehow, could they also find out where he was, where she was? A crackling wave of anxiety was just starting to course through him when a second text came in, diffusing it immediately.
Um rude much?? it’s Ino
Pain scratched his nose and yawned again, wondering why Ino of all people was texting him, and how she had gotten his number.P: oh hey whats upI: So Konan’s there, right??P: uh yeahI: Oh cool! I texted her to hang out but no answer :(P: she didn’t have her phone for a while, she forgot it at schoolI: Bummer!! Can u ask her to text me when she gets a chance, if she has her phone back? P: okI: Did u go to Italy?A tiny frown creased Pain’s forehead, getting a slightly weird feeling.P: uh why are you asking?I: I was travelling abroad too! I thought I saw you at the airport but totally forgot about it until now LOL Pain rubbed his face sleepily, glancing at Konan, curled up against the wall.P: um okI: …So??P: ?
I: Did u go to Italy????
He checked the time, groaning quietly when he realized it was nine-thirty. He’d started picking up shifts at the auto shop he’d worked at the previous summer, and he had to be there in an hour. He crawled out of bed, careful not to jostle Konan, and headed to the bathroom to wash up. When he got back, there was another text from Ino. He rolled his eyes and replied to her intermittently as he got dressed.I: How are her parents?Pain frowned at the text, his phone open on his desk as he buckled his belt. P: …why?I: Um, HELLO?? She left school early for a family emergency right?? I heard her mom was sick. I don’t want to text her off the bat like ‘how was ur visit with ur mom’ if she died, right??Pain started a reply, then deleted it, glancing over at Konan again, watching her shoulders gently rising and falling with her breathing. 
Why is Ino asking about any of this? Why has she bothered to get my number to ask if we were in Italy and ask about Konan’s parents? It’s like… she knows something happened.
For the first time, he stopped to think about how much he trusted Ino. He barely knew her personally. He had really only begun talking with her at all since Konan had started at school and they had become friends… But he didn’t even think Konan was especially close with her or anything. He ran a hand through his hair distractedly and checked the time again. He slid his phone into his pocket and knelt on the bed to say bye to Konan. She rolled over into him, blinking in the light as he rubbed her shoulder.“Hey, sleepy,” he said softly, bending to kiss her forehead. “I’m heading to work.”“Okay, honey,” she mumbled, her eyes already closing again. “Have a good day.”“I love you.”“I love you, too.”He stroked her hair and stood up, turning for a last look before heading out, smiling as she waved at him. Waiting for the bus, he considered Ino again. By far the biggest interaction they’d had with her had been last fall, when she had immediately volunteered to tell Tsunade that Zaku had attacked her, not Konan, and had also helped Konan file a police report, somehow keeping her name out of it. It had been incredibly kind of her, especially for someone she didn’t know well. It also suggested she or her family must have some kind of influence in the local police, at least. At the time, Pain had thought she had done all that for Konan, but could there be some other reason Ino, or people she knew, didn’t want Konan’s name in any official reports?Pain scrolled back through the text messages. He remembered now he had run into Ino right as he was heading to Tsunade to ask for a personal leave, and had mentioned Konan had a family emergency… And Ino had guessed he was going to Italy without him ever saying. How had she known?As vaguely suspicious as all that was, though, he had been going to school with Ino since she was twelve and she had always seemed pretty normal to him. His impression of her had been unchanging: that she was an average popular girl. Kinda bitchy, kinda overbearing, kinda basic. Somehow, with her frosted lip gloss, halter tops, fluffy Y2K hair ties, obvious crush on Sasuke, singing Taylor Swift with her friends, she didn’t match Pain’s idea of a covert mastermind.
But am I just missing something? Am I underestimating her? …But how could she be involved in any of this? She’s just a kid!
I: Hey so do u know if everything's ok with her or not?His bus came and he scanned his pass and walked to the back. He sat down and decided to stop being paranoid and to cut Ino a little slack. He was still keeping cards to his chest, only telling her what would inevitably come out anyway.P: her mum did pass away, yeah. I: Oh my god, that’s terrible!P: yeah, she’s had a rough summerI: It’s good she has you. I guess she’s staying at your place?Pain closed his eyes briefly, then glared down at the screen.
I just decided to give you the benefit of the doubt, Ino!! Why are you asking so much!?
P: i’ll ask her to text you when she’s up so you can catch up with herI: Thanks!!  Pain typed a message to Konan letting her know Ino was trying to get in touch, then slid his phone back in his pocket, drumming his fingers on the metal holdbar next to his seat, thinking.He had been so relieved to find Konan and get her back, and then so happy when she stopped shutting him out and started to relax again, everything kind of going back to normal, that he hadn’t been considering what might have been going on back in Italy. The rental van and CCTV from the street outside the building were the main points of concern. Itachi and Kisame had taken the van. somewhere to be deep cleaned the morning before they headed back to the airport, to get rid of any traces of blood (primarily from Hidan). The van could be traced directly back to him, but would anyone bother? The cameras in the building had been largely shut off or blinded with their laser pointers, and it had been Cazale’s operation who had killed most of the people in the building, Cazale himself who had killed Konan’s father. And with the lab blowing up, who was to say Konan wasn’t there when it went off? Who, of anyone who might be looking for her— other Andromeda investors, perhaps. or remnants of her father’s inner circle — who would know she was still alive?He got off the bus and headed to work, a deep crease between his eyebrows as he began to worry about something he realized now he had been naïve not to be worried about before. If any of the other investors in MIRAI discovered that Konan was still alive, and hadn’t been killed in the lab explosion, they would surely try to find her. And it probably wouldn’t be that hard. A rental van parked right outside the building, then leaving right after the explosion? Pain kicked himself for being so stupid. And all anyone would have to do would be to get access to the flight records and see her get on a plane the very next day. If they found her, what would they do? Pain headed into the shop garage, grinning at his coworkers, signing in and changing, a hollow dread eating away at his insides.
They’d try to take her back.
—“Konan, you got something in the mail,” Yahiko called from the front door one day a few weeks later, having just gone out to check the mailbox. Konan met him at the top of the stairs, passing him a mug of coffee and swapping him for a brown cardboard box. “Weird,” she said, carrying it back to the table and setting it down next to her cereal. It was just her and Yahiko at home that day; Pain had picked up an opening shift at the auto shop, and while Annie had come to visit for a week, she had gone to brunch with friends. Konan and Yahiko had slipped into their comfortable breakfast routine where Konan made coffee, Yahiko made waffles, and they did the crossword puzzle together.“Did you see the label?” Yahiko asked, his tone a little concerned as he sat back down.Konan looked at the package. The return address was a PO box, but the package itself was stamped with the MIRAI logo. Getting a wary feeling in the pit of her stomach, she cut the packing tape and opened it. Inside the brown cardboard box was another brown cardboard box, about the size of a bag of coffee beans. She slid it out. Whatever was inside was a little heavy. The second box was not labelled, and there was no letter. Konan felt Yahiko’s eyes on her as she took a breath and pulled open the tab on the second box, opening the lid. Inside was a sealed plastic bag full of off-white powder. Konan gazed down at the bag. She heard the soft clunk of Yahiko lowering his mug to the table. It felt very surreal, to be looking at the powder in the bag in a cardboard box sitting next to her half-eaten waffles on a Sunday in July, and to know, logically, that it was all that remained of her mother. It made no sense. It did not compute at all. Konan touched her fingers gingerly to the plastic bag, but felt nothing, like she was trying to feel an emotional connection of spark with a bag of goldfish crackers.“That’s your mum, then?” Yahiko asked gently. She saw him shift uncertainly in his chair like he was of half a mind to get up and come hug her. He seemed to settle for reaching a hand across the table and awkwardly gripping her wrist.She nodded mutely. Her eyes fell again to her half-eaten waffles, but she couldn’t remember ever feeling less hungry. After a few minutes, Yahiko got up and headed down the hall. Konan was still gazing mutely down at the ashes by the time he came back, holding a carved wooden box. He set it down near to her. “I made this a couple years back,” he said, patting the lid gently. “I’m not using it for anything right now. If you like, you’re welcome to it.” Konan loomed up at him slowly. “It’s nicer than cardboard, that’s all,” he said with a shrug. Konan looked at the box. The lid was beautifully carved with a pattern of swallows and flowers. “It’s lovely,” she said quietly, looking up at Yahiko and doing her best to smile. “Thank you.” He patted her shoulder and picked up his mug and plate, walking to the sink to start doing the dishes. Konan lifted the plastic bag up and set it carefully into the wooden box, closing the carved lid and sliding her palm across it slowly. She exhaled slowly, feeling her throat closing. She pressed her hands to the box and lowered her forehead to her wrists, keeping her mouth shut tight, trying not to make any noise as she cried. When Yahiko shut off the tap, he came over to her. She heard him shift a chair close to hers and sit down. After a minute, she felt the soft fabric of his loose flannel shirt and the weight of his arm as he put it around her. She let herself lean over into him, holding the box holding her mother into her chest, crying into his shoulder.— When Pain got home, he heard the Gilmore Girls theme playing from the living room.“I’m back,” he called, expecting Konan. He was surprised when Yahiko appeared at the top of the stairs, hands in his pockets as he walked down to Pain.“Looking for fashion tips from Luke?” Pain asked, glancing at his dad’s plaid shirt. “I didn’t know you liked Gilmore Girls.” His smile faded when he saw his dad’s serious face. “What’s up?”“Konan’s mom’s ashes arrived today,” Yahiko said in a low voice, jerking his head meaningfully in the direction of the living room.“Oh, man.”Yahiko nodded. “Yup. And you know I’m not great with all that sort of thing, so you’d better take over, bud.”“What were you doing?” Pain whispered, slipping off his shoes and chucking his keys and wallet onto the chair by the door.“Just… I don’t know, I asked what would make her feel better, and she said she didn’t know, so I googled cheerful tv shows!” Yahiko hissed.“...And you landed on the one centered around a mother-daughter relationship,” Pain hissed back, facepalming.“How was I supposed to know?”“Well, is it cheering her up?”“I don’t think so, no!”“Well then—”“Hey…” Konan’s voice from the top of the stairs made both of them jump. “You guys whisper really loud.” Pain stared up at her, frozen. Konan looked from him to his dad and back before bursting out laughing.“Sorry,” she giggled. “You guys just had matching expressions…”“Are you doing okay…?” Pain asked hesitatingly, ignoring his dad who was plainly trying to get behind him.“I mean… I’m okay-ish?” Konan said. As he climbed the stairs, Pain saw her eyes were puffy, but her voice was steady. Her arms were wrapped around a carved wooden box. “I do really like Gilmore Girls.”Pain and Konan both laughed when Yahiko gave an audible phew from the bottom of the stairs. “I was going to ask for a favour from… both of you,” she said, leaning around Pain to look at Yahiko, too.“Anything, baby.” Pain said gently, reaching forward to touch her arm.“I mean, not those exact words, but… what do you need?” Yahiko asked, climbing the stairs behind Pain.Konan bit her lip nervously, rocking on her heels. “I want to go to my mum’s old apartment. I mean, the one I used to live in, too. It’s near the hospital, and I just want to get some stuff, and see… see if she maybe left anything there for me.” She held the box closer, and it clicked for Pain that her mum’s ashes must be inside. “There’s also a place by the sea down there, where we used to go for walks, and I thought it would be nice to maybe… scatter some of her ashes there.” Pain nodded at her, feeling so bad for her he wasn’t sure if he could or even should try to put it into words.“I can take a bus and then the train, but I checked, and there’s no direct route from here,” she said. “We’d have to go north to get to the closest station. So, I was wondering if you might be able to give me a lift?” She looked at Pain from under her still-wet lashes. “Totally,” he said, his mouth a little dry. “We can take the bike. I’ll get one of the guys to cover for me.”Out of the corner of his eye he saw Yahiko rub his nose. “How far are you going?” he asked. Konan showed him the map on her phone. He shook his head, slapping Pain on the back. “Take the jeep.”Pain rolled his eyes. Konan looked surprised. “Is that okay?” she asked.“Yeah, I don’t need it. It’s mostly for these guys,” Yahiko said, passing Pain on the stairs and heading into the kitchen. “It used to be my work car before his older brother Naraka put a dent in the door. Still runs fine, though.” He wandered back into the living room. “Shall I rewind for you, Konan? Let’s find out if Dean’s asked Rory out yet.”—A few days later, Konan and Pain set off in Yahiko’s old jeep, heading down to the coastal town where the Heiwa Private Clinic and her and her mum’s apartment was. It was a fun trip down – their first little trip together, Konan realized an hour in. She paid for the gas and made a playlist alternating her and Pain’s song picks, which resulted in several funny moments when the mood rollercoastered from Deep Purple to Mitski to Vampire Weekend to Carly Rae Jepsen to Bikini Kill to Tyler the Creator to The Stooges.A summer storm rolled in as they pulled into the parking lot of the apartment block. Konan held her sweater over her head as Pain dug in the back for an umbrella. Their shoes were soaked by the time they made it inside. Konan was in a good mood, giving Pain a mini tour of the building she had called home for years, even the years she spent most months with her father. She gleefully pointed out the cheesy small business ads in a plastic frame in the elevator. Pain loved the ‘Debt keeping you awake?’ one which featured a stock photo of a man in bed with an old-timey nightcap and his eyes wide open. “Don’t take this the wrong way,” Pain said as they got to the fifth floor and headed down the hallway, “But this is a pretty… normal apartment building. I just mean, compared to your dad’s building and stuff.”Konan grinned at him. “I know. My mum and I chose it. He was mad when he saw pictures, but she didn’t care.” She pulled out her house keys, which Pain had brought back from school for her. “I always loved it here.”She unlocked the door to their apartment and pushed it open. But even before she switched the lights on, she knew something was wrong. The small framed photo of herself at six years old, laughing and hugging her mother on a pier in the rain, was missing. It hung next to the lightswitch, familiar as a birthmark, to the point Konan never consciously looked at it anymore. But it was gone. And the hooks for keys were gone. There were no shoes on the shoe tray, which was also missing. Konan stared around. It took several seconds to process what she was seeing. The apartment was completely, utterly empty. There was no furniture, the walls were blank, her mother’s coat wasn’t hanging on the edge of the half-open door to the laundry cupboard. The walls had been painted white, and even the holes from the mounted TV were filled in. Instead of lemongrass essential oils or leftover pizza, the place smelled like cleaning chemicals. “Is this the right one?” Pain asked softly, apparently reading her mind as she backed up a step to look at the number on the door again. “I don’t understand,” she murmured, feeling like she had fallen into a dream.“Hey, what are you—” an angry voice called from the staircase behind them, before it cut off when they turned around. “Oh! Konan!”Konan stared at the balding man in the knitted jumper, recognizing him at once as the building manager. “Terry, what… What’s going on?”Terry walked over, folding his arms across his chest. “It’s good to see you,” he said, patting her on the shoulder. “Jesus, you’ve… you’ve grown.”Konan nodded, shrugging. Terry had known her since they’d moved here, when she’d been eleven. To be fair, she probably looked quite different then the last time she’d been here, over a year ago. He cleared his throat gruffly and pulled her into a one-armed hug. “I’m sorry about your mum, kid.”The familiar scent of his aftershave and B&H cigarettes washed over her, and she felt her throat tightening. She sniffed, blinking fast, not wanting to start crying in the middle of the hallway. Knowing Terry, it would give him heartburn. “Thanks,” she said a little thickly. “Um, where’s…” She gestured, a little lost, at the apartment. “Where’s all our stuff?” Terry wiped a palm across his bald spot uncomfortably. “Darlin’, the apartment was leased under your dad’s name,” he said. “When we got the call that Nao had passed, he reached out about your possessions. I asked him about you, swear I did. Asked if you were going to come by and go through everything. He said that you were with him, that he’d get it all shipped over to Italy for you. That’s what he told me.”Konan dropped her gaze to the carpet, biting the inside of her cheek as she nodded slowly. “Oh. So… everything got picked up?”Terry exhaled long, rubbing his bald spot again. “Well, it sure as heck was emptied. Some fella came round, said he worked for your dad, returned the keys… except for that one, apparently,” he said with a snort, holding his hand out to her. Konan pushed her house key slowly around the circle of her keyring until it came free, and dropped it into his palm. “Cheers. Anyway, they emptied the whole place, but a lot of it did end up in the bins downstairs, I noticed.”“Oh yeah?” Konan could hear her voice getting odd and distant.“Yeah. But that was months ago, now. It’s all gone.” Terry shifted his weight uncomfortably. “Listen, kid, I’m really sorry about this whole mess. I didn’t know your dad was just gonna chuck everything out, but again… it was his name on the lease… I didn’t think you were coming back.”“No, I get it,” Konan said, feeling quite suddenly that she needed to be anywhere else but inside the building right then. “We’re showing this place in a couple hours actually…”“Right, well, thanks anyway, Terry. I’ll see you around.”“Ah, Konan,” Terry called as she hurried back down the hall. “Take care of yourself, will you?”Konan could hear Pain’s footsteps following her down the stairs, but she didn’t speak until they were back outside. She strode out into the rain, marching across the parking lot before turning, arms crossed over her chest, to stare up at the building. Pain loped over to her, umbrella in hand. She sighed and pressed her forehead to his collarbones.“You’re cold,” he informed her.She pulled back a few inches and saw her hair had made a damp mark on his t-shirt. “Sorry,” she muttered.He stood with her, propped comfortably against the jeep with an elbow, holding the umbrella over them, watching her face as she considered what to do next.“I’m sorry to have dragged you all the way out here for nothing,” she said after a few minutes, watching ripples criss-cross each other in a nearby puddle. “It’s not for nothing,” Pain said firmly, “And I’m happy you asked me. I’m glad to be with you right now.”“Thanks.” She leaned against his side gently and sighed. “What do you think we should do now?”“Shall we head to the hospital?”“Dunno if they’ll have anything.”“It’s worth a try,” he said, pulling the umbrella down and opening the passenger side door for her. “Let’s check it out.”—The Heiwa medical centre was a short drive away. Konan and Pain bypassed the front desk and headed up her usual route to the long-term care wing. Pain followed her to the elevators, down the halls, and through various doors, the route still familiar as a scar. She pressed a button outside the D-wing, and they waited a few seconds for the nurse at the desk to open the door, then headed over to her.“Hi,” Konan said, checking the nurse’s nametag. Mary. She was older, wearing a cardigan over her scrubs and thick-rimmed glasses. Not one of the nurses she knew. “My mum used to be a patient here. She passed away a couple months ago.”“Oh, I’m sorry, dear,” Marie said, looking sympathetic.Konan nodded, sucking her teeth. She knew she’d have to get used to it, probably would get used to it faster than she wanted to, but she realized this was the first time she’d had to tell a stranger that her mother had died. “Thanks,” she said, relieved she sounded quite normal. “Um, I just was wondering if I could pick up any of her belongings, or if anything might have been left here.”“When did she pass?”“Um…” Konan chewed the inside of her cheek. “I think early or mid-May.” She saw Marie’s eyebrows raise. “My father didn’t tell me she had died,” she explained, but this only made her eyebrows raise further. “I mean… just, would there be anything?”“Frankly, it’s unlikely, dear, as it’s been quite a long time,” Mary said, not unkindly. “But let me have a look and see. What was your mother’s name?”“Nao Ame,” Konan said.Mary typed quickly into the computer, the light from the monitors reflecting over her glasses. Konan felt Pain shift closer behind her and she leaned back against him. He slid his arms loosely around her, tucking his chin over her shoulder. Mary’s eyes flicked to him then back to the screen.“Well,” Mary said, looking up from the monitor and reaching for her mug of tea, “We’ve got a note on her file that says we received instructions from her husband for her belongings to be destroyed,” she said, a little awkwardly. “So, I’m afraid there’s nothing remaining now.”Konan felt Pain’s arms around her tighten slightly as she stared. “Donated… or destroyed,” she repeated softly. “Yes, dear. It seems the staff were under the impression your father lived abroad and wasn’t able to pick anything up. I’m sorry that he didn’t inform you.” Konan shook her head automatically. “It’s okay, it’s not your fault, I’ll just…”“Maybe you should talk to him about it?”Konan snorted, and saw the woman’s eyebrows raise. “Right. I’ll do that. Okay, well, thanks anyway.” She shook her head and walked away from the desk, Pain’s arm around her waist holding her close. They stopped by the exit. Konan was taking deep breaths through her nose. Pain watched her, letting her have a moment of quiet.“Which do you think it is,” Konan asked eventually, her voice coming out oddly flat. “Do you think he knew how much it would hurt me for him to do this, and he did it anyway, either because it would hurt me, or because he didn’t care if it did… Or do you think he somehow had no idea how this would make me feel? Like maybe he was just so fucked up he was fundamentally unable to understand why having my dead mom’s only possessions destroyed or thrown away would hurt me." She realized vaguely she was shaking from anger.Pain shook his head and pulled her into a hug. “I don’t know,” he murmured into her hair.  She bit down on her lips, too angry to cry. “Let’s go,” she said bitterly, but before she could take more than a few steps toward the exit, a familiar voice called out her name. “Konan, is that you?”“Lianne,” Konan said, smiling weakly at the approaching nurse, a short, stocky woman with almond-brown skin and prematurely greying black hair pulled into a short ponytail. She was holding a clipboard and waving. “How are you?”“Ooh, is this the boyfriend?” Lianne asked loudly, giving Pain an exaggerated once-over. “Va-va-voom! Honey, you hit the jackpot. So many piercings — you like the bad boy type, huh?”Pain laughed and Konan blushed, noticing Mary glancing over from the desk. “Well, um, yeah,” she mumbled distractedly.“Oh really? Is that all I am to you? A type?” Pain teased quietly. She gave him a light shove, smiling.“Come with me, I’m heading for my break,” Lianne said, keeping walking past them towards the exit.“So, how are you doing?” Konan repeated as they followed her out into the landing by the elevators, where she stopped. “Oh yeah, I’m doing fine. No tall handsome man—” She winked at Pain. “—but I’m getting on okay. It’s strange, without your mum, of course.” Her warm brown eyes slid from Konan’s face to the security cameras above the door, and she turned to face them, shifting so naturally as she spoke that it took a few seconds before Konan realized Lianne had maneuvered Pain into a position where he partially blocked her from the view of the camera. “She asked me to give you this, if anything happened to her,” Lianne said in a low voice, taking a small manila envelope from where it had been taped under all the papers on her clipboard. She pulled Konan in for a hug with one arm, and pressed the envelope into her hand with the other. Konan tucked the envelope into the waistband of her shorts and hugged her back, but her heart had seized at her words. “What happened to her?” she asked. “How did she die?”Lianne’s mouth thinned into a hard line. “Sudden cardiac arrest. She lost consciousness in seconds. She most likely experienced ventricular fibrillation.” Lianne gazed hard at Konan, an undertone of anger in her voice. “She could have been saved with a defibrillator. If she was here, we would have known immediately something was wrong and could have helped her. In any case, if she’d even got into an ambulance in time, she might have made it.”“She wasn’t here?” It felt like Konan’s mouth was full of cotton. Her hands had gone clammy, and she felt slightly sick.Lianne shook her head slowly, closing her eyes. “The day she died… was the day your father visited for the first time since I’ve been working here, and decided to take her out for the day. He essentially watched her die, that’s what I believe. And there’s a lot more I’d like to say.” She shook her head. “But I loved your mum, Konan.” Lianne swallowed and nodded. “She was a real friend to me.” She gave Konan a sympathetic smile when she saw the look on her face. “Read the letters she wrote you, dear. They’re in there for you.” She nodded at Konan’s front, where the envelope was hidden by her baggy shirt. “And take care of yourself.” She gave Konan another quick hug, and headed towards the other set of doors, beeping her pass at the sensor.—Konan scattered her mother’s ashes into the crashing waves off the edge of the breakwater. She stood by the wall, scooping handfuls of the fine powder from the plastic bag and letting it slip through her fingers in the wind and the rain. She watched clouds of it billow together and drift apart, particles carried out to sea, other clumps dropping to spiral in the powerful whirlpools and bursts of foam smashing against the rocks and the concrete pillars below. She thought of her mother’s body, slender and frail, now joining together with the ocean and all of its strength, battering the land that had held her down for so long, flying up on the breeze, running away from the place she’d been tethered for ten years. Pain stood a respectful distance behind her, holding the umbrella still. When she finished, he held the umbrella out to her, keeping it steady in the wind. She joined him under it and he put a hand on her back as they turned and walked back.“You want a hot chocolate?” he asked quietly when they got to the car.Konan nodded. Scattering the ashes had been cathartic somehow, as it felt like she was finally giving her mother the escape and freedom she must have wanted. It felt like the last gift she could give. She felt exhausted, scraped raw from it, though. Pain unlocked the car and held the umbrella until she got in.“Sounds good. I’ll go to the cafe,” Pain said, gesturing down the road a couple blocks. “Back soon, okay?”“Yep,” Konan said, giving him a quick smile.He shut the door on her and headed out through the rain. Konan smoothed her hands over Yahiko’s carved wooden box, taking a deep breath and exhaling slow, watching the water droplets on the windshield merge, split, and run. It was strange, to be aware of living in the world without the people who brought her into it. Of course, she had been for weeks now. But somehow it felt more real now, as she let go of her mother’s physical remains. The manila envelope Lianne had given her was still on the backseat. Konan hadn’t opened it yet, wanting to do what she came here for before being pulled in another direction. She was also trying to build up the strength, frightened somehow of what could be inside. It also felt like she was keeping one last conversation with her mother safe, for another day, even if it was just until tomorrow.Pain came back quickly, holding two large paper cups, juggling the umbrella. Konan unlocked the driver’s side door for him and pushed it open, taking one of the hot chocolates from him as he folded the umbrella and collapsed inside, pink-cheeked and cold. “Hey,” he said, tossing the folded umbrella into the backseat footwell and shutting the door again against the salty breeze. “It’s chilly out there!”“Thanks for the hot chocolate,” Konan said, putting hers in a cupholder and leaning over to put Yahiko’s box on the backseat. “No problem,” Pain said, pushing his wet hair back off his forehead and taking a sip of his hot chocolate. “How are you doing?”“Doing okay,” Konan said, smiling back at him. The car was starting to fog up faster, with the two of them inside and the steam from the hot drinks. The parking lot was completely empty, all the beachgoers having been driven away by the rain.“Did you hear the thunder earlier?” Pain asked, pulling off his raincoat and chucking it into the back. Konan looked at him in surprise. “No.”“Yeah, just a few minutes ago. Were you spacing out?” he asked with a smile.“A bit, I guess, yeah.”Konan listened for a few minutes, but all she heard was the sudden uptick of the rain, hammering down on the car. “Summer storm, huh?” she murmured. Pain nodded next to her, taking another long sip. They sat quietly together, warming up and listening to the rain. Eventually there was another deep rumble of thunder, and a few seconds later, a flash of lightning lit up the darkening sky. Konan traced flowers and fish in the fogged-up window with her finger. Pain turned the radio on, catching the beginning of a U2 song neither of them could fully remember. He seemed to know Konan didn’t want to leave yet. He seemed to know the quiet and the rain and just being in the car together was what she needed. 
How does he always know that?
Konan glanced at him sideways as she took another sip of her hot chocolate.
How does he know me so well?
Her gaze traced across his straight nose, the silhouette of his lips, followed a water droplet slide from his rain-darkened hair across his cheek, down the line of his jaw before he wiped it away. How can he always, always be so kind to me, always be there for me. Always take care of me.She leaned towards him, catching the scent of his laundry detergent and white musk deodorant, so familiar. Her arm pressed against his, a little cold from the rain. With a small ache, Konan reflected that she’d never managed to introduce him to her mother. She hadn’t even really told her mom very much about Pain. She remembered her mom’s voice over the phone at Christmas, when she’d told her about him..
A boyfriend, huh? I hope he’s a good young man. He’s kind?

Yeah, he’s very kind. I think you’d like him.

Tell him to treat my baby girl like an angel, and to cherish her properly, and respect her, and to give her lots of love, and let her keep her freedom…
Her words echoed hollow in Konan’s mind, and her stomach ached with the added weight of those words, after all that had happened. Pain glanced at her, smiled, and swiped a thumb along her upper lip, wiping away some whipped cream. Konan smiled, and flashed back unexpectedly to the night of last Halloween, when he’d spent the night in her bed, holding her loosely against his chest. 
I do like someone.

That’s nice.

It is, thanks. They make me very happy.

That’s good.

Uh huh.

Have you told them you like them?

Not yet.
Konan closed her eyes, remembering, and wishing she had shared more with her mother. Other than telling her she had a boyfriend, she had been frightened to tell her about Pain, about her crush on him.She remembered how her heart had pounded in her ears, the heat in her face as he had leaned towards her, sitting together on the low branch at their hangout tree, when she was sure he was finally going to ask her out.
…You do like me, too, right?

I do like you. I really, really, really like you.
Pain turned to look at her, catching her by surprise. He was smiling. She realized he’d been talking.“I’m sorry, I was zoning out!” she squeaked. “Sorry, what did you say?”Pain shook his head. “All good. I was just trying to remember if this song was in a movie soundtrack. What were you thinking about?”Konan bit her lower lip, aware from the heat in her face that she was blushing. She could barely meet his eyes, the violet tinted with indigo from the darkened sky outside. “Nothing major,” she mumbled. “You sure?” he asked, his tone warm and teasing. She knew he had noticed her pink cheeks. Konan rolled her eyes, pressing her forehead against his shoulder briefly. “Just you being cute,” she said, embarrassed, avoiding his gaze.“Oh yeah?” His grin widened and he shifted in the driver’s seat to face her. “Before we were dating.”“Oh, man,” he sighed ruefully, grin dropping as he rubbed the space between his eyebrows. “Okay.”“What?” Konan asked, smiling at his reaction. “I mean, I’m glad you think it was cute, whatever it was. I’m still embarrassed it took me so fucking long to ask you out.” Pain glanced at her, grimacing sardonically.Konan shrugged and slipped her hand loosely into his, stroking her thumb slowly over his palm. “Sure, but… I really liked all the time we spent together before, too.”“Me too,” he said quietly, leaning into her.“I like spending time with you.” Konan pressed her face against his neck, smiling softly against him and closing her eyes, breathing him in.“I like spending time with you, too.” His voice was low and warm in her ears. He eased his hand out of her hold to slide it around her shoulders, holding her gently against him. “Thank you for coming with me, by the way,” she said, voice muffled in his skin. “It really, really means a lot.”“I was happy to.” He rubbed her back slowly. “Honestly.”“I love you,” she breathed into his neck.“I love you, too. So much.” He kissed the top of her head, stroking her hair with his free hand.Konan had become steadily aware of the soothing rush of the rain falling against the roof; the air in the jeep heating up with their bodies and their breath; the soft music of the radio; the warmth of Pain’s body against hers; and the fact that she was, exactly as she had been when they’d met last fall, unable to ignore the magnetic pull she felt toward him. She kissed his neck softly. His breath ruffled her hair as he exhaled against her, his hand stilling on her back as she kissed him slow and deliberate, eyes closing. He pulled away from her gently when she had kissed up his jaw, to his cheek. He looked at her, his violet eyes like a twilit summer storm. She cupped his face and pulled him in. He tipped his chin down, eyelashes fluttering shut as he kissed her softly. Konan closed her eyes, shifting in the passenger seat, his nose cold against her cheek as she kissed him back. Their tongues met. Pain hesitated; Konan opened her mouth, cupping the back of his neck and nodding into him slow. His hands slid down to her waist at the same time she shifted onto her knees, clambering into the driver’s seat, straddling him. His hands were cold as they slipped under the back of her shirt, and she grinned against him, fumbling under the seat for the lever to push it backwards, pressing close against him to avoid hitting the horn with her elbow. Pain found the handle and the seat tipped backwards, sending her falling into him. He laughed, pushing her hair back from her face, and looked at her, his expression soft. She smiled and nodded slightly, like he’d asked a question aloud, but he seemed to understand. He pulled her closer against him, kissing her, mind-meltingly loving as the rain poured down outside.They had been making out for an hour, the glass fogged opaque, before Konan lifted onto her knees, licking into Pain’s mouth as he unbuttoned his jeans, shoving them down, and she pulled her panties off, giggling as they got stuck on her Converse. Pain hiked up her mini skirt and he held his cock steady for her as she sank back down, sliding in easy. Konan sighed, closing her eyes, just taking a second to feel him inside her before she started moving, grinding up against her. Pain buried his hands in her hair, holding her close as he kissed her, thrusting slow, letting her completely sink into him. They fucked easy, languidly, in a tiny world of their own against the worn-soft driver’s seat, the faint glow of the streetlights a block away just tinging their faces a soft pink. When Pain pulled back to get a breath, Konan followed him, biting at his lip. “I love you,” she whispered again, stroking his face, feeling strangely desperate, like she was fighting to hold on to something. Like she was trying not to lose him too, somehow. Pain looked at her, face flushed, eyes dark, half-surprised. He kissed the corners of her eyes and she realized she was crying. He kissed down her cheeks to her lips. “Konan,” he said softly, stroking her hair. He lifted her hand and kissed each of her fingers. “You’re my angel.” He said it so sincerely and unselfconsciously, it made her blush. Konan gazed down at him, worrying her lower lip with her teeth, embarrassed, not sure what to say. Pain grinned up at her and pulled her back down into a deep kiss, licking up into her, overwhelming her, the pace of his hips speeding up. Konan gasped against his mouth, allowing herself to fall deliriously into him, fingers tightening in his hair as his hips snapped up between her thighs, cock slick as he fucked up into her, condensation beading on the windows. —
For Konan when you turn 18.

Dear Konan,

We chose your name today. I’m so excited and blessed that I get to be your mum! I hope you’re happy, and you’re working and studying hard, and you have good friends by your side to support you and to have fun with. I hope you live a life full of love, joy, and laughter. I can’t wait to watch you grow up into the beautiful, kind person I know you’ll be, and to have adventures with you. I hope I’ll be a good mum, and I can be your rock, your confidant, your safety and your strength while you grow up. Thank you for being my daughter.

Love, Mum
—
Dear Konan,

If anything happens to me, please contact my lawyer, Darui. He is not connected to your father’s legal team, and in fact I have worked hard to ensure your father knows nothing about him. I want to take care of you after I’m gone, as much as I can. If you haven’t heard from me for a year, Darui has instructions to contact you, so even if this letter doesn't find you, I hope that he does.

Darui Kumo

Raikage Law Offices

Love, Mum
—
Dear Konan,

I’m sorry my being ill means we have to be apart more often. I know it’s hard for you. I miss you very much. Thank you for the painting you made me. I asked Lianne if it can go up, so hopefully the next time you see me, it’ll be up on the wall with your other drawings. I hope to get better soon so I can come home in time for your dance performance! Be a good girl while I’m away and listen to your father.

Love, Mum
—
Dear Konan,

This is for you to read later. I hope I can get it to you somehow, but I have to hide everything. Hopefully someday soon I can tell you in person, but I think there’s a spy among the staff here. Someone is making reports to your father on our phone calls. I’m sorry your friends aren’t speaking to you anymore. I’m sorry I can’t tell you more, and I’m sorry I don’t ask for details about your life right now. I just don’t want things to get passed along that could get you into trouble later. I feel like I was wrong about so many things, and have made so many mistakes, trusting that people had my best interest, and your best interest, at heart. I’m sorry you have to spend so much time with your father because I get worse and worse. Lianne said she can’t understand why I am recommended for so many procedures and treatments that she thinks are unnecessary. She tells me I am confused for weeks on end after each one and that they are scheduled right around the times when I have talked with her about your father. Even now I’m feeling foggy, you know how I get sometimes. I hardly know what to think and I feel I can hardly keep focus on what’s important. I was keeping a diary hidden under my bed but it was found. I don’t know if it was the cleaning staff or one of the night shift nurses but I feel certain it was reported to Arakaki. He has ordered all the staff to be rotated so I won’t see Lianne. I worry they’re screening your calls. I miss you, honey. I love you. I hope I can tell you someday soon. I hope I can see you soon.

Love, Mum
—-
Dear Konan,

Lianne’s writing this as my hands are too bad right now. Your father has a new assistant, Holly, who came to get me to sign something recently, but she stayed to talk. I think she may help me. She found a file suggesting that your father is paying the chief doctor here and several members of staff, and he gets reports on my condition, as you know, but apparently he asks how many questions I am asking, or what I am getting up to in my spare time. Lianne says she has told me about this, but I can’t remember. In any case, Holly seems to be on my side. She has agreed to enroll you into an arts school for the fall, while your father is distracted with work. I hope you enjoy it. You were here the other day, but I couldn’t let you know. I know which nurses are reporting to your father now, and they were both here, pretending to work while listening to our conversation. I worry you’ll think I’m paranoid, but it’s true! I want to get you away from your father. He seems to be planning something, and I’m getting very concerned, especially after talking with Holly. It will be best for you to make some new friends and stay out from under his eye for a while. Hopefully soon all will be well and we can live together again.

Love, Mum
—
Dear Konan,

I’m sorry I can never say what I want to say, and what I need to say, over the phone. I’m scared we’re running out of time. Holly hasn’t been in contact recently, and your father’s flying monkeys removed the telephone from my room, so I can’t call her or you. Lianne’s schedule has been changed again as well. I’m scared and I feel isolated. I feel like your father’s planning something. Holly’s messages, before she stopped sending them, were very distressing. I fear I underestimated Arakaki. I’m scared he never abandoned his old ambition, this experiment he told me about many years ago. I hope you never find out about it, but at the time he called it Andromeda. I thought it was just talk, just one of the big ideas he used to be full of, talking about how he was going to change the world, make things better, push boundaries, see what life is really made of. This is how he used to talk, in the early days. It made me believe in him, and want to be by his side. It was exciting. I worry I was terribly, terribly wrong. I’m scared he’s mad. I’m scared he’s gotten involved in something shady and is trying to drag you into it. Holly seemed not to want to tell me everything she had found out, which scares me more. I hope I can see you soon. I’m worried that if I don’t I won’t see you again. I have this terrible feeling. If anything happens to me, I think it will be the nursing staff here, the ones who work for your father. If you find this letter, contact Darui, my lawyer. I want you to get my money, the little I have kept from your father. I want you to get what’s rightfully yours. I want you to be free, and happy. I think you should move away, if you can. Maybe we can move together, run away from him. Never stop running. I know you’re smarter than me. You don’t trust him. I know when you said it, it hurt me, as he’s your father. But you see him for what I’m scared he has become, what he truly is. I want to see you again. I love you, Konan. You’re brave, you’re a good girl, and you’re my beautiful daughter. Stay safe.

Love, Mum
—The stack of letters, the early ones written on floral stationary and sealed in envelopes, the last few scribbled onto folded bloodwork reports and the outside of a sudoku page, had been sealed inside the manila envelope Lianne had given Konan, along with a sheaf of photographs, tied with a blue ribbon. The photos were mostly older. There were some of Konan as a baby, of her mother in the hospital, looking tired but happy, holding her to her chest. Konan at a bird sanctuary, feeding ducks in a pink raincoat, looking about three. Konan and her mother eating ice cream in Japan. Her mother with her hair in rollers, getting ready for an event. Konan and her mother at the pier in the rain, laughing at the camera. Konan older, about eleven, lying next to her mother in a hospital bed, watching Mulan on the fold-out TV. Konan aged thirteen, with smudgy eyeliner and her old MCR t-shirt, making Kraft Dinner in their apartment. The most recent was from two years ago, when Konan remembered Lianne taking a photo of her and her mother in the hospital grounds. Nao was in a wheelchair, wearing a soft green long sleeve and grey sweatpants, and Konan was in her blue picnic dress, both sticking their tongues out at the camera. The only other items in the manila envelope were her mother’s house keys, expired driver’s license, a black and white photo of Konan’s maternal grandparents, and her lawyer’s business card.Konan had paid for a motel room for the night, and she and Pain ordered Thai food, went through all the photos together, and watched In the Mood For Love, which had been her mum’s favourite movie. Konan fell asleep hours after Pain, running over her mother’s letters in her head, questions, wishes, and regrets swirling anxiously in her mind until she sank into unconsciousness around four in the morning. The next day, they set off for Raikage Law Offices. Konan was worried they might not see her if she was just dressed in a t-shirt and shorts, but as Pain said, reasonably, it didn’t matter if they didn’t want to take her on as a client, as they were just there in regards to an existing client: her mother.The law office was a short drive away, and from a first glance, it seemed relatively unassuming. It was on an upper floor of a business complex that had a poké bar and tattoo parlour on the first floor, a dance studio on the floor above, and a dental office on the third. Konan and Pain climbed the stairs to the fourth floor and walked down a carpeted hallway to a set of glass doors, with ‘Raikage Law’ etched in silver.Konan noticed several security cameras in the hall and lobby as they entered. A sleek, modern desk sat at the front, where a curvy  woman with a short blonde bob was typing at a computer. She glanced up as they entered and gave them a professional smile, looking between them. “Good morning, do you have an appointment?”Konan half-glanced at Pain, who gave her an encouraging nod. “Um, no, but my mother was a client of one of your lawyers, and I was hoping to speak with him. It’s Darui Kumo?” She passed the secretary the business card from her mother’s envelope. “I see,” the woman said, sliding the card back and typing rapidly on her keyboard. “And what is your mother’s name?”“Nao Ame.”The woman glanced up at her briefly. Her fingers staccatoed across the keys. “What’s your name?”“Konan Ame.”The woman lifted a small scanning device onto the service ledge of the desk. “Could you please present a piece of ID and place it under the scanner?”“Um, okay.” Konan slid her citizen card underneath. The woman typed something again. Konan wondered if she was messaging somebody.“Do you have a student card from your school?”“Uh… yeah,” Konan said, taking her ID back and fishing out her school pass. She had missed picture day, so the background was different from everyone else’s, just the green wall of Tsunade’s office. She put it down on the desk under the scanner.“Okay. And who’s this?”Konan saw her eyes fall on Pain. “My boyfriend.”“Do you have ID?”Pain pulled out his wallet and slid his driver’s licence across the secretary’s desk.“Thanks,” she said. “Konan, I know this all may seem unorthodox, but your mother set up several security questions to ask any visitors—”“Are you serious? Is all this really necessary?” Konan asked, throwing up her hands.The woman took a sip of tea from a glass mug and smiled, her eyes staying sharply trained on Konan’s face. “I’m afraid so.”Konan bit the inside of her cheek nervously. She had never discussed any kind of secret passwords with her mum. “Okay, what’s the question?”As it turned out, there were five security questions — What was Konan’s favourite Disney film? Which dress had she been sick on during a flight when she was four? What part had she played in a summer camp production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream? What was her mother’s favourite band? What had been Konan’s favourite Barbie as a child?About halfway through answering the questions, Konan realized that they were all things her dad would never, ever have known. After answering them, the secretary brought out a metal detector. Pain took one look at it and announced he’d wait for her in the poké bar downstairs. Konan grinned at him, remembering the absolute nightmare it had been for him to get through the airport screening with his dozens and dozens of piercings. It took another five minutes before Konan was finally admitted through a glass door. She followed directions to take a sharp corner down the hall to Darui’s office on the left. She checked the silver name card on the door, then knocked. The door opened quickly.Darui Rai looked to be about forty. He was black, fairly attractive, and had dyed platinum blonde hair. He also had a bit of a silly moustache. “Konan,” he said before she could introduce herself. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.”“You… you have?” Konan asked, caught off-guard as she followed him and sat down where he gestured, in a black leather chair. He sat down facing her, lacing his fingers together loosely, knees apart, considering her. “Your mother spoke of you often,” he said simply.“Oh, I see.” Konan tugged awkwardly at her t-shirt, feeling a bit underdressed in the stylish office. “Um, so why were there so many security questions? It seems kind of paranoid.”Darui smiled. “We have dealt with multiple imposters and bad-faith inquiries with regards to this account over the years. Your mother warned me we would, when she first hired me years ago. We take our clients’ trust and privacy very seriously, and as various attempts were made to impersonate you, we developed more in-depth identity checks, with your mother’s assistance.”Konan stared at him. “Impersonation?”“It probably won’t surprise you that all of these attempts were easily traced back to your father. I don’t think he was seriously concerned about your mother’s account with us. Probably mostly annoyed.” Darui shrugged, pouring Konan a glass of water. “His attempts were a bit predictable, I have to say. It did get a little boring.”“Okay… Well, I guess that makes sense.” Konan accepted the glass, still feeling awkward. “So, you’re my mom’s lawyer?”Darui nodded. “Yeah. I’m guessing you’re here because you found a business card with her things?”“She wrote me a letter saying to contact you if something happened to you.”Darui grinned. “Smart lady, your mum. I’ll miss her.” He stood up and headed to his desk. He unlocked a drawer, removed a set of keys, and walked to his bookshelf. He flicked a switch on the underside of a shelf, and a false back popped out. He reached in and removed a steel box, unlocking it with a key from the desk set. He caught Konan’s stare as he flipped the lid open. “I figured you’d be stopping by soon, so I had this removed from the safety deposit box,” he explained. “When we got notification of your mother’s passing, I knew it was a matter of time.” He shrugged again. “Plus, when I read about your dad’s death, I knew I’d have to get a few things prepared.” He flipped open a folded document.“We’ve got your mum’s will. She’s left everything she had to you, including some jewellery that belonged to your grandmother. That’s in the box,” he tapped the lid of the metal tin. “She had no debts you need to worry about. Part of your father paying for her treatment, of course, came with the control he was able to exercise over her finances, so what she was able to leave to you was primarily money she had earned before marriage, and what she had in savings plans with her private account, which she concealed from your father.” Darui handed the metal box to Konan. She opened the jewellery box inside with trembling fingers and gazed down at a pair of sapphire earrings. “To get you up to speed on other matters, we will be suing your father’s company for wrongful death.” Konan looked up at him in shock. Darui slipped his hands into his pockets, perching on the corner of his desk. “It might get tricky as obviously if we sue his estate, that is now… you. But we’re currently investigating the viability of action, essentially. Frankly, it’s not likely to succeed, as Nao was cremated — against her stated wishes in her will, by the way — but that took place incredibly quickly, before a full autopsy could be requested. Naturally this raises questions, ergo the suit, but,” he shrugged, seemingly a habit. “As I say, the strongest evidence would have been with the body.”Konan nodded slowly, swallowing. “You’re saying you think my dad had her murdered.”Darui nodded. “I do, yeah. When someone overrules local authority and gets a body cremated that fast… that’s not usual your average innocent, grieving spouse choice, is it? In any case, we’ll try keep you out of that, if possible. I just want to inform you.”“Who’s paying you to do that, then? If my mum’s…”“It’s a pro bono,” Darui said gently with a small smile. “Like I said, I liked her.” He snapped back to his slightly more businesslike tone, although he always sounded a little more relaxed than the lawyers Konan had seen on TV, at least. “In addition, we had an associate present at the reading of your father’s will, and apparently it was his intention to disinherit you—”“What!?” Konan yelped, snapping the metal lid of the box closed with a start. “—if you were married at the time of his death,” Darui finished.Konan stared at him. “Oh. But, still… What the hell…”“What I am inferring from this,” Darui said, stroking his moustache, “Based on previous correspondence and conversations with Nao, is that your father intended for you to marry when you turned eighteen, and to marry one of his business associates. Were you aware of that?”Konan bit the inside of her cheek and nodded curtly.“Right. Well, I presume the disinheritance clause was intended to prevent the business associate from gaining access to your father’s money through you at the time of his death,” Darui said. Konan drummed her fingers on the metal box containing her mother’s jewellery, thinking.
I suppose in his mind, whoever got ‘Andromeda’ was getting more than enough, and he probably wouldn’t have considered them part of the family in the traditional sense… So he wanted to protect his money from them. And I guess on the off-chance I escaped him and married someone he didn’t choose for me, it would have worked out just the same. But if all the money the fucking investors gave to his company was for me anyway, where does he get the fucking nerve to try leave me with nothing after everything he took from me already, and everything he was planning to take from me?
Darui was watching her reaction. Konan tried to keep a neutral face, even though she wasn’t sure what he was looking for or expecting. “We could have challenged that, too. Disinheritance of children is unusual, and must be presented with valid and rational reasons for doing so, but it seems we won’t need to. You’re not married, right?” Konan shook her head. “Right, well his liquid assets should be transferred to you in a few weeks. I’ll just collect your banking information, and we can handle that.”Konan filled out several sheets of paperwork, and left the office on lightly trembling legs, holding the metal box containing her mother and grandmother’s earrings and necklaces, heading back to the lobby as Darui waved goodbye.She headed back down the stairs and found Pain doing a crossword puzzle on his phone in a booth of the poké bar. “How’d it go?” he asked, sliding over so she could sit next to him.Konan nodded slowly, not really sure what to say for a moment. “It went okay,” she managed faintly. “I got some jewellery.” She tapped the metal box. “And my dad tried to disinherit me, but couldn’t.”“Damn.”“Yeah.”“So… dinner’s on me.”“I’ve got a sugar mama now, huh?” Pain asked, nudging her and grinning. Konan burst out laughing.