Work Text
Ivy's POV I sit next to Dale under his little umbrella thingy on top of the RV, fiddling with my stuffed bunny. He glances at me every so often, keeping a tight hold on his gun, probably making sure I don't wander off the RV and somewhere where he can't see me. I wouldn't, but I don't think he knows that. My daddy told me to stay in my uncle Merle's sight but if he wasn't around, to stay in either Lori or Dale's sight. I didn't mind much; Dale was nice to me and read me little poems from books he finds in his RV and Lori combs my hair and does silly hairstyles sometimes. The only downside to staying in Lori's sight is her son and Shane. Her son doesn't like me a lot, which I don't really know why, and Shane scares me a little, and he also thinks my daddy isn't a good daddy, which isn't true. My daddy is a brilliant daddy. Sitting with Dale and keeping watch with him is kind of boring, but I would never say that to his face, so I keep myself entertained with fiddling with my stuffed bunny. I watch silently as Amy and Lori chat to each other before Lori announces that she's heading out for a bit and Dale tells her to be careful. She gives him a nod and smiles and waves at me, to which I give her a shy smile and a small wave. Dale kept his sights mostly on the walkways up to our camp, since T-Dog, Uncle Merle, Glenn, Morales, Jacqui and Andrea had gone out on a supply run and were running a bit more late than usual. At some point, Lori and Shane come back from whatever they were doing in the woods, and they start going about their chores like normal. Dale climbs down from the roof of the RV and helps me down, telling me to stay near Lori while he checks on the RV's engine or something like that. I know nothing about cars, despite my daddy working with them a lot, so I do as I'm told and stay near Lori, despite Shane being there, too. "It's late, they should have been back by now." Amy says, pacing next to the washing lines. "Worrying won’t make it better," Dale says, elbow deep in the front part of his RV. Shane is teaching Carl how to tie a specific knot, and he extends the offer to me too, but I shake my head and continue to stand behind Lori as she fiddles with her laundry, clutching my stuffed bunny to my chest. The radio crackles from on top of the RV and Dale is immediately hoisting himself up there to answer it. I can't hear much of what's being said, but I recognise T-Dog's voice crackling through the terrible mic of the radio. "They say they're trapped?" Shane asks, hands on his hips. My heart drops through my stomach. My uncle is trapped and can't get out? There's no way! Uncle Merle is strong, he wouldn't be cornered just like that! Lori places a hand on my shoulder, but my body continues to shake, even if I hadn't noticed it before. "He said the department store." Lori says, hand firm on my shoulder. I clutch my bunny closer to my chest and bury my face in between its ears. "I heard it too." Dale says. "Shane." Lori says, letting go of me to walk over to the man. "No way," He says, "We do not go after them. We do not risk the rest of the group. Ya'll know that." He sighs, looking like he's the who's one hard-done-by. "So, we're just going to leave her there? What about Ivy's uncle?” Amy asks, hand gesturing towards me. I know that nobody in camp liked my uncle, he's rude, racist and mean towards mostly everybody, including my daddy sometimes. But he was nice to me all the time, he took care of me if my daddy was busy before the world ended, and he gave me bits of his food during campfires when I'm still hungry but I'm too shy to say it, and he went to jail for protecting me once and he calls me 'Wobbles' because I'm clumsy and wobble a lot when I'm walking. "Look, Amy, I know this is not easy..." Shane starts to say, but Amy cuts him off. "She volunteered to go! To help the rest of us!" Shane nods, slowly. "I know, and she knew the risks, right? And Merle did too, even though this was a punishment for him. See if they're trapped, they're gone. So, we just have to deal with that. There's nothing we can do." Shane says. I sniffle, turning around on my heel to walk – I stumble most of the way there, stupid clumsiness – to the tent I share with my daddy and Uncle Merle. Sophia follows me when her mom nods at her as permission. The older girl sits with me and lets me cry silently, wiping my tears away when I'm finished, and she lets me curl into her side. Her mom, Carol, sits outside the tent and tells anyone who's trying to see if I'm okay that I need some space and peace and quiet. Once I've calmed down enough, both me and Sophia leave the tent, and the older girl wraps an arm around my shoulders. Carol smiles at both of us and leads me over to where Carl is getting his hair cut by Lori. "Baby, the more you fidget, the longer it takes. So don't, okay?" Lori says, smiling at me when I shyly sit down next to her. "I'll fix your pigtails when I'm done, okay, Ivy?" I nod, holding tightly to my stuffed bunny. Carl scowls at me, mumbling an answer to his mom’s sentence before. "I’m trying." "Well, try harder." She huffs, snipping away at his hair. "If you think this is bad, wait 'till you start shaving. That stings," Shane says, adjusting in his chair. "That day comes, you'll be wishing for one of your mama's haircuts. I can fix your pigtails if you'd like, Ivy?" I shake my head at him, fiddling with the arms on my bunny. "I'll believe that when I see it." Carl says, fidgeting. "Tell you what, you just get through this, with some manly dignity, and tomorrow I'll teach you something special." That catches both mine and Carl's attention, and I look at Shane instead of my bunny. "I will teach you to catch frogs." Shane says. "I've caught a frog before," Carl says, and I nod, because I have too, before my daddy got full custody of me and one of my momma's boyfriends spent time with me, he taught me how to catch frogs in exchange for my silence. He had a nasty habit of beating on my momma. She never left him, though, he had to leave her. "I said frogs, plural. You caught more than one frog before, Ivy?" I nod at him. "My stepdad taught me." I mumble shyly, hiding my face in my bunny. "Good man. It is an art, my friends. It is not to be taken lightly. There are ways and means. Few people know about it, but Ivy just might. I'm willing to share my secrets, and maybe she'll help you too, Carl, when you stop scowling at her." Shane says, fiddling with the weapon in his hands. I don't actually know what it is, but oh well. I don't listen to the rest of the conversation, patiently waiting for Lori to be done so she can straighten out my pigtails, since they got messed up with my crying earlier. Lori finishes Carl's hair and quickly straightens out my pigtails, making sure the pink bows in them are okay, just as a car alarm can be heard going off in the distance. Amy asks if it's our people back, but Dale can't see just yet, but it's definitely a stolen car. It skids into camp and Glenn climbs out, no one else with him. The car alarm hurts my ears and I cover them, my bunny still clutched tightly in my hand. Lori gently takes my hands away from my ears just as a truck drives into camp. The back door slides open, and Andrea drops out, Amy is immediately at her, crying for her. Morales's kids come running past me towards him and he scoops them up, hugging them tightly. Lori takes Carl a little way away from me, while I keep a sharp eye out for my uncle. Morales shouts for a helicopter boy to come out, and then a cop walks away from the truck, looking tired. Carl comes sprinting past me, calling "Dad!" as he collides with the cop and Lori isn't that far away. No one else comes out from the truck, and I shuffle closer, gently calling my uncle's name to see if he's there. He doesn't come out, and I wonder if he's just coming in a different car, like Glenn. T-Dog takes notice of me and calls, "What you looking for, Ivy?" I turn around to face him, pigtails swishing into my face until they end up in front of my shoulders again. "Uncle Merle?" I ask, keeping a tight hold on my bunny. Everyone who went on the supply trip stops, and the cop and T-Dog suddenly look extremely guilty. Glenn walks up to me and crouches down in front of me. "I'm sorry, Ivy. We had to leave him behind, he would have gotten us killed." I shake my head softly, not wanting to believe it. They had left him behind, like an animal. He would never ruffle my hair again, never pull on my pigtails and he'd never call me Wobbles ever again. "I'm sorry, it's my fault. I cuffed him to the roof." The cop says, clutching at his wife and son. T-Dog comes to crouch in front of me, too, but I move back slightly, uncomfortable with being surrounded by men. "I dropped the key; it was my fault." I sniffle, just like before, and storm back to my tent, not letting Sophia in this time. They all leave me be, but I can hear Carol and Sophia sitting outside my tent, letting me know that they'd be here if I needed anything, until Ed – Carol's husband and Sophia's dad – tells them to come to the campfire. Sophia peeks her head into the tent and tells me that if I need anything they're at the campfire. She gets a sniffle in response, and I eventually fall asleep, alone in my big tent and still in my clothes. The next morning, Lori wakes me up with a gentle shake. I'm so out of it from both my crying sessions yesterday that I think it's my Uncle Merle and I almost leap out of my skin with excitement until I realise it's Lori. She gives me a sad smile and helps me get dressed. She picks out a pink t-shirt and jean-overalls with my scuffed pink converse, and then she ties my hair into two pigtails with my pink bows. She drags me out of the tent and sits me down next to the fire while she hangs laundry out. Her husband – Rick – comes up to her at some point, and I'm still mad at him, so I ignore their entire conversation, even though they both look at me occasionally. Screams break my ignorance and I'm immediately following Lori and Rick when they go to sprint for the other kids who had screamed. When we get there, Carl runs to his mom as I slink through with the men, keeping to the back so no one knows I'm there. A walker is there, on its knees and feasting on a deer, which has arrows in its flank. Which means Daddy is nearby! The walker gets up and starts trying to attack, but the men don’t let it, they each take turns smashing it in the head as Jacqui slowly moves over to me to drag me further away from the mess. She presses my bunny into my hands, since I had accidentally dropped it, and I nod at her in thanks, just as branches crack and footsteps can be heard from the forest. I know the footsteps are Daddy's, but I know better than to just go running for him. "Son of a bitch!" I hear him swear, stepping around everyone to get a better look at the deer. "That's my deer." He says some other things he's told me he never wants to hear me repeat, kicking at the dead walker. "Now, son, that's not helping." Dale says, and Daddy gets up in his face about something called 'on golden pond', and then asks if we can cut around the bite in the deer. Shane tells him no, and he calls it a damn shame, which I'm also not allowed to repeat. He shows his squirrels and rabbits off, and then turns to walk back to camp. I know it's safe to run for him now, so I do, and he catches me easily, lifting me to set me on his hip. "Hey, Bambi. How's my girl doin'?" He asks, and I just tuck myself into his neck, holding my stuffed bunny. Daddy passes it off and walks into camp with me on his hip, calling out for Uncle Merle. "Daryl, just slow up a bit, I need to talk to you." Shane says, and Daddy is immediately tense. He turns around to face him, still holding me. "About what?" Shane motions for him to drop me, but he doesn't, even though I cling to him tighter, afraid he actually would put me down. "About Merle." Shane says, holding his hat in his hands, like a consoling general showing up to widowed wives' doors to tell them their husbands died in battle, I wonder if this is what he looked like when he told Lori and Carl that their husband and dad was dead. "There was a... a problem in Atlanta." Daddy holds me tighter and I pull my face out of his neck to face Shane as well. "He dead?" Daddy asks. "We’re not sure," Shane says. Daddy's face twists. "He either is, or he ain't!" He says, and then turns to me. "Do you know what happened, Bambi?" He speaks a lot softer towards me, bouncing me on his hip gently. "Uncle Merle was causing problems, I think. They cuffed him to a roof and accidentally lost the key." I mumble, holding my bunny tightly. Rick comes up to us and introduces himself to Daddy. Daddy puts me down on the floor gently, despite me not wanting to be put down. "Hold on, let me process this, you're saying you handcuffed my brother to a roof, and you left him there?!" Daddy shouts, and I understand why he had to put me down now. "We had to; he would have gotten us killed." Rick says, and T-Dog comes over now, as Glenn pulls me away. Daddy looks at me once, and I can see him try to calm himself down. "I dropped the key down a drain, by accident, man, I swear. But I chained the door shut, no walker was getting through that door. He's still there." T-Dog says. "He's still there?" Daddy asks, looking at Rick, for some reason, to confirm it. "He should be." Rick nods. "Get me a map, I'm goin' to get my brother." Daddy says, taking the string of dead animals off his shoulder and handing them to Jim. "That won't be necessary, Daryl. Rick'll show you, right, Rick?" Lori says, hands on her hips. Rick nods, and then Shane is protesting, saying that we can't risk the group's safety for a man who wouldn't do the same for us. "He’s got a brother and an eight-year-old niece, Shane. We're going." Rick says, getting a few guns ready. Daddy says goodbye to me and tells me to stay in Lori or Dale's sight again before he's off in the truck with the others, and they're driving off to go save Uncle Merle. I sit at the entrance to camp dutifully, criss-cross-applesauce in the dirt with my stuffed bunny, watching and waiting for Daddy to come back with Uncle Merle. Shane comes up to me, with Carl in tow. "Wanna go catch some frogs?" He asks, offering me a hand. I look between the entrance to camp and his hand a few times before taking his hand, hesitantly. When we walk past Dale, I scamper up onto the RV and hand him my bunny for safe keeping. He smiles at me and winks, keeping the pink and beige stuffy in his lap. I smile and scamper back down from the RV and follow behind Shane, next to Carl, down to the quarry. When we get there, we all take our shoes and socks off and roll up our pants. Mine are loose enough to pull them to my thighs, so I do and wade into the water quietly and gently, barely making a splash or a ripple. "Good, Ivy." Shane says, wading in too. "I’m not getting anything," Carl mumbles dejectedly after a while. "Yeah, being all wily and submerged. What about you, Ivy?" I hold up the frog in my hand in response. "Woah! How'd you pick it up?" Carl asks, shoulders dropping in defeat. "It just let me..." I mumble, watching as another frog hops onto my foot. I smile and give a quiet giggle, reaching in to pick this one up too. It lets me and I carefully walk over to Carl and Shane, holding it out for Carl to take. He does so and immediately cringes at the slimy feel of it. I smile, putting the other one into the bucket Shane's holding. Carl drops his in. "You have a natural talent, Ivy!" Jacqui says from where the women are washing clothes. I feel my face go red and I smile, all shy. They all coo at my face and it just makes me redder. "Hey, Carl. What'd I tell you about not leaving Dale's sight? And your daddy said that too, didn't he, Ivy?" Lori says, coming over. "Shane said we could catch frogs." Carl says, dipping his toes in the water. "It doesn't matter what Shane says, it matters what I say. Ivy, do you want to stay here?" It's fun, playing in the water, so I nod my head. "Alright, Carl, back to camp. I'll be right behind you." Carl leaves sullenly with a wave and a "Bye, Shane, bye Ivy." and Shane tells me to go play in the water while him and Lori talk. I wade over to the women, and they welcome me with open arms. Andrea pulls me onto her lap and lets me help her scrub one of her shirts, laughing and talking with the other women. Ed, Carol's husband, comes over at some point, smoking a cigarette and asking what they're laughing at. "Just sharing war stories, Ed." Andrea chuckles, adjusting me on her lap to help me get a grass stain out of someone's pants, probably mine. When Ed doesn't go away, Andrea lifts me off her lap and places me in the water, turning to look at the man. "Problem, Ed?" Jacqui motions for me to get out of the water, so I do, and she pulls me to the side, away from Ed. "Nothin' that concerns you." Ed says, flicking his cigarette onto the floor and stepping on it. "And you ought to focus on your work," Ed says to Carol, who goes stiff and doesn't turn to look at him at all. She acts like my momma did when she was with the stepdad that taught me how to catch frogs and used to beat on her. I think Ed is just like that man. "This ain't no comedy club." All the women work in an awkward silence and Jacqui tells me that I can go back in the water now, so I wade back out and kick at the little fishies swimming around my legs. They scatter before coming back to where they were before, so I get to do it a lot of times. "Ed, tell you what..." Andrea says, getting sick of the awkward silence the man had brought out. "You don't like how your laundry is done, you are welcome to pitch in and do it yourself. Here." With that, she throws the shirt she was washing – one of Ed's, I think – at him and it hits his chest with a wet slap! noise. He throws it straight back at her, and she gasps as the cold of it splats on her exposed collarbones. "It ain't my job, little missy. You should be continuing to teach that little runt to wash clothes, too." I tilt my head when he gestures at me, the look he gives me is a bit weird, and I feel uncomfortable, but I ignore it and continue playing with the fishies. "Andrea, don’t." Amy warns, but Andrea has a temper Uncle Merle said she needs to learn to control, which I found a bit weird, because Uncle Merle had a worse temper than Andrea. "And what is your job, Ed? Sitting on your ass, smoking cigarettes? Being sexist and creepy towards little girls?" Andrea gets in the man's face, still holding his wet shirt. "Well, it sure as hell ain't listening to some uppity smart-mouthed bitch. Tell you what..." He looks at Carol and she finally looks back at him. "Come on, let's go." He says to her, and she almost breaks her wrist dropping the washboard she had in her hands. "I don't think she needs to go anywhere with you, Ed." Andrea says, moving from foot to foot in front of the big man. "And I say it's none of your business. Come, now." He curls his fingers at Carol, and she continues to make her way over to him. Andrea stops her with a gentle hand on her shoulder, but the older woman shrugs her off just as gently, whispering that it didn’t matter. Ed gets involved, looking every bit like the stepdad that beat on my momma. I didn't like Ed, but I hate him now. "Hey, don't you think I won't knock you on your ass, just 'cause you're some college-educated cooze, all right?" He says to Andrea, getting all in her face. Andrea genuinely looks shocked, but I can see some rage in her eyes. I abandon the fishies in favour of standing on the bank of the water. I got no idea what a cooze is, but I'm sure Daddy wouldn't want me repeating it, so I don't, not even in my head. "You come on, now, or you'll regret it later." Ed says to Carol, and I slowly come off the bank and closer to the women, but Amy grabs my arm and pulls me into her side. "So she can show up with fresh bruises, later, Ed?" Jacqui asks, standing with her feet in the water. I look around, noticing Shane looking at the little scuffle going on. Andrea grabs Carol's arm gently when Ed grabs her to move her, and then Ed is swinging and smacking Carol hard in the jaw, and the echoing slap chills me to my core. It used to sound like that when my momma was getting beat on, too, and it upset me the same way seeing Carol get smacked upsets me. Carol didn't deserve to be smacked, she was real kind and she looked after me when I was crying. The women, except Amy who lets go of me to drag Carol away from her husband, all swear and shout and smack at Ed, and then Shane is on him, pulling him away and using his fist to lace into the man's face. It's like when Uncle Merle went to prison for me, he had visited one day and smashed one of my momma's boyfriend's skulls in, called him a 'dirty, good-for-nothing paedophile' and got hauled in for aggravated manslaughter. I didn't see him again for maybe five years, and I didn't know what the word 'paedophile' meant either, but Daddy said it was a bad, bad person, and to tell him if anyone tries to do anything that man had done. Somehow, both Daddy and Uncle Merle knew that the man had done whatever paedophiles do to me, and Daddy wanted to hunt the man down and hurt him a lot more, but Uncle Merle apparently saw red and just smashed his skull in. I had heard Daddy whispering to Uncle Merle once, saying that if he hadn't done it, he would've. It had been the only time I had seen Uncle Merle and Daddy hug. The women all shout for Shane to stop, but it's almost like he doesn't hear them, and I think that's what happened with Uncle Merle. Got so angry he couldn't do anything other than act on that anger. When Shane stops, he leans down and gets in Ed's beaten face, saying, "You put your hands on your wife, your little girl, or anyone else in this camp one more time, I will not stop next time. Do you hear me?" Ed slurs out a yes, and Shane lets go of him, wiping his bloodied hands on his cargo pants and walking off. Once Shane is away, Carol runs for her husband and cries out sorry's to him. Like it was her fault. Jacqui picks me up and carries me back to camp after grabbing my converse and socks from where I took them off before. She leaves me with Dale, and with one look at my spacey eyes, he hands me my bunny and gives me a hug. It helps a little, and he takes me up onto the top of the RV with him. It's quiet for a while, save from me sniffling sometimes and Dale's boots against the roof of the RV. Then, he looks off into the hill and notices something that makes his eyebrow quirk in worry. "Come down and sit in the RV, for me, Ivy please." Dale says, climbing down and helping me down. I do as I'm told and sit in the little dining booth in the RV, fiddling aimlessly with my bunny. I watch out the window as Dale walks off into the hills, on the way to who he said was Jim who was digging holes up there. I come out of the RV when Andrea and Amy come back from where they went, which I'm pretty sure is fishing because they come back with a chain full of fish. Morales thanks them as I shuffle over to Lori and Carl and the woman smiles at me, beckoning me over. Dale comes back and Andrea asks him something about his line reels, and he takes off his hat. "I don't want to alarm anyone, but we may have a little bit of a problem." Dale points out Jim to Shane. Everyone except me, Lori, Carl, Ed, Sophia and Carol go to get him from the hills, and Lori sits next to me. "Want me to fix your pigtails, Sweetie?" When I nod, she takes the pigtails she did this morning out – messy from the sun and water – and combs her fingers through my hair. She sections it off into two, placing one section over my shoulder before going on to braid the section on my back. The little pink bow hangs onto my back soon enough, and she moves onto the other one, doing the same until the other pink bow hangs down my back. My momma had done my hair a lot, I think. I can't really remember, but I think she preferred my hair in braids, like the ones Lori has just done. I thank her quietly and she smiles and nods. They bring Jim down and tie him to a tree, and I can tell he's a little sunburnt. Then Lori brings out a little box we can use for a table and Carol and Sophia sit down with me, Lori and Carl to do a little schoolwork. Every so often, Sophia sneaks a little star on the corner of my paper, and I do the same to hers with a love heart and Carol smiles. Dale asks why Jim was digging, and he closes his eyes and sighs heavily. He says he doesn't remember, but he looks at me and softens a little. I don't really know why, though. "Something I dreamt last night." He says finally, looking away from me. Shane comes over with a bucket of fish, and says, "Who wants to help me clean some fish?" And Carl immediately scrambles out of his seat after him. "Sweet! Come on, Sophia, Ivy!" He says, and Sophia and I look at each other and follow him. "Stay with Carol!" Lori says, and Carol smiles and follows after us. Shane teaches Sophia and Carl how to do it, but I already know how, because Daddy taught me. Shane tells me I do a good job, and then we start the long, painstaking process of cooking the fish one by one. Once they're all done, Jim joins us, and we all eat. Then Lori tells me it's my bedtime, since I'm younger than the other kids. I huff quietly but follow her out to my tent. She helps me get ready for bed and replaces the bows in my hair with normal ties. Then she tucks me in and hands me my bunny and tells me to have good dreams. I close the tent all the way once she leaves, a subconscious decision, and then climb into Daddy's sleeping bag and cuddle up with my bunny. When I wake up, it's to screaming, shouting and gunshots. And groaning. Like walker groaning. I shoot up and in the little plastic window in the tent, I can see a walker clawing at it, trying to get me. I scream, grabbing my bunny and moving to the other side of the tent, thanking the fact I closed the tent all the way before falling asleep as another walker, probably attracted by my scream, paws at the door, trying to open it. I scream as the walker at the plastic window manages to splinter the plastic somehow and then I'm sobbing, looking around for anything I might be able to use to kill it just in case it gets in. Three gunshots sound outside the tent and the walker at the window goes down, and the pawing at the tent door stops. "Ivy?!" Shane yells, checking if I'm still in here. "Shane?" I ask, because I have to make sure, like Daddy said. Make sure that you know the person at the door before you answer it if no one is there to answer the door for you. "Yeah, Ivy, it's me. You're all safe now, can you come out?" Shane asks softly, kneeling in front of the tent door. I sniffle, still crying, and undo the zip on the door and Shane is immediately plucking me from the tent, bunny and all, and lifting me up onto his hip with a hand on the back of my head. "You're safe." He whispers, and the waterworks come harder. "I want my daddy," I sob, hands digging into Shane's back. "Ivy!" Daddy shouts all the way from the entrance to the camp, and it's almost like I summoned him with my crying, running for me and Shane. He stops just as he's about to crash into Shane and drops his crossbow to the ground, gently taking me from Shane's arms to cradle me himself. "Daddy," I whine, clutching at him. "I know, Bambi, I know. I thought I lost you when I heard screamin'." He whispers, hand clutching at the back of my neck tightly, keeping me close to him as I sob into his shoulder. He carries me to the middle of camp and Lori rushes to me, dragging Carl along with her. "She's okay?" She asks, looking at Daddy. He nods shakily. "Just scared." He says. Daddy checks me over for any injuries later, when I'm not sobbing hysterically anymore, and sighs in relief when there's not a scratch on me other than my skinned knees from falling over practically every time I walk. He covers the broken window with duct tape and curls up with me, holding me against his chest until I fall asleep.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Ivy's POV When I wake up, I'm still curled up on Daddy's chest, and he still has a tight hold on me. When we wake up fully, he helps me get dressed, this time in a white sundress with my pink converse again. He brushes my hair and puts it into two pigtails, and then sits me in the corner while he changes his clothes. When we come out, people are already cleaning up from last night's attack, dead walkers are being dragged into piles to be burned and our people who died last night are pulled into lines, ready to be pierced through the head to make sure they don't come back. Ed Peletier is one of our people who died last night, along with Amy and a few others I didn't really know the names of. I still feel bad for them, except for Ed. He deserved whatever he had coming to him, but Daddy makes me look away from him and his exposed ribcage and his organs spilling out and sits me down with Lori, Carl, Carol and Sophia. Carol asks if I'm alright and I just have to nod, because I don't really know what she wants me to say. I was almost walker food last night, if it weren't for Shane, who's currently pulling more dead walkers into a fire. Rick hands Daddy a pickaxe and he goes down the line of our people who died, slamming the pickaxe into their heads, not being gentle at all. When he gets to Ed, who's the last in line, Carol gets up and takes the pickaxe off of him, slamming the pickaxe into his head herself, and letting out a little sob. I think, given the chance, my momma wouldn't have done that to the stepdad that liked to beat on her and taught me to catch frogs in exchange for my silence. I think I shouldn't have taken the deal; I should have told someone. Guilt burns at my chest, and I hug my bunny tighter. At some point, Jacqui notices blood seeping from Jim's shirt, and announces that he's been bitten. He whispers a mantra of 'I'm okay' and 'It'll be fine', but everyone knows he won't be okay. There's no cure for a bite, even Jim knows that, and I know it, too. I wonder distantly if Uncle Merle had been bitten, and that's why he's not here in camp anymore, despite Daddy, Rick, Glenn and T-Dog going to go find him. It hurts to think that, so I stop thinking it and instead think about my bunny. Daddy had given it to me on my third birthday, a few months after my momma lost all custody of me because she was considered unfit to look after me or something, and I think I had called him something, but I can't remember what I had called him. He's been just 'my bunny' since the world ended, but I think his name had something to do with the Disney movie 'Bambi', since Daddy calls me Bambi because I'm always stumbling around like Bambi did when he first stepped onto the ice. I think I named my bunny 'Thumper', after the little grey rabbit in the movie. My bunny isn't grey, though. It's beige and pink with little rosy cheeks and floppy ears and black eyes. I think I'll call him Thumper anyway. Daddy said he had gotten it for me because its fur matched my hair colour, dirty blonde, and my favourite colour is pink, and he knew that I had to have it, so he saved up like all hell and bought it for me for my birthday. I don't think he really did, I had seen it before in one of those designer stores. I think he saw me looking at it. The men tie Jim to a tree and discuss what we're going to do with him. Daddy suggests popping him in the head while they still have a chance, but Rick just says that we don't kill the living and that idea is scrapped entirely. Dale suggests that we ask Jim what he wants to do, but Shane says he agrees with Daddy for once. Rick once again says that we don't kill the living, sounding like a broken record to me, and says something about the CDC, and then I can't hear anymore because they've wandered off nearer Jim, who's sweating and panting like a dog against the tree he's still tied to. Carol and Lori get me, Sophia and Carl to do some more schoolwork, and me and Sophia do our little routine of stars and love hearts in the corner of our pieces of paper while Carol pretends not to see it. Carol fiddles with the hem on Sophia's shorts absentmindedly and Sophia just lets her mom do it, allowing Carol to comfort herself, because there's no time to break down at the end of the world. Daddy walks past at some point and tugs on the end of one of my pigtails as he passes, and I think he's doing his own version of Carol's self-comforting. Reminding himself that I'm still here and the walkers from last night didn't get me. I let him do it every time he passes by me. Lori and Carol smile when they see it, too. We bury our dead. Andrea sobs as she lowers Amy's dead body into her grave, but Carol and Sophia don’t make a peep as Ed is buried in the shallowest of the graves. I think it's a respect thing, burying him in the shallowest grave. Uncle Merle always said it was something murderers do to their victims, and that he wished he got to bury my stepdad in a shallow grave. I kind of wish he got to do that, too. Lori says something about needing to be normal people again, but I'm practically falling asleep standing up, so I don't hear much of it. All I know is that Daddy picks me up and carries me back to camp, sitting me down in his sleeping bag and sitting next to me and telling me to sleep. I haven't had a nap since I was seven, but I do as I'm told and fall asleep anyway. I wake up the next morning. Somehow, I slept the entire day and night away, and my daddy says I must have been real tired if I slept that much. He also tells me that the adults have decided to try and make our way to the CDC to try and find a cure for Jim's walker bite. He tells me we're going with them. After packing our stuff up and loading it into a truck, we stand in a group outside the cars, and Daddy picks me up and sets me on his hip, so I don't have to stand. I end up dozing off and missing most of Shane's speech, but Daddy moves a little and I jolt awake, just as Morales speaks up. "We're, uh, we're not going." He says, and everyone stops and looks at him and his family. "We have family in Birmingham, we want to be with our people." Morales's wife says, swinging an arm around her daughter's shoulders. Shane is the first to speak up. "You're on your own, you won't have anyone to watch your back." He says, probably just making sure they know the risks. "We'll take the chance. I got to do what's best for my family." Morales says, looking at Rick. "You sure?" Rick asks. "We talked about it, we're sure." Morales says. I wasn't friends with either of his children, I stayed away from most of the other kids, the first time I ever spoke to Sophia was the few hours before I found out Uncle Merle got left behind. Sophia was friends with Eliza though, since they were both the same age. I feel bad for her. "Alright. Shane?" Rick says, and Shane nods and hands off a gun and bullets to Morales. Morales's wife thanks them both. Eliza and Sophia hug each other and Eliza gives Sophia her doll, who she had named Esmerelda. Everyone else goes around hugging them, but Daddy stays where he is, which means so do I. I'm fine with it though, I'm not too comfortable with hugs, even from kids my age. I'm only really comfortable being hugged by Daddy, and Dale, for some reason. As Morales and his wife walk over to the car, both of them stop to wave at me and Daddy. "Bye, little flower." Morales says, waving. I wave back, but don't say anything. They both smile and get into the car they've claimed. Soon, we're all driving away from the camp, and I'm sat in the passenger seat of the truck, tucked up with Thumper in my lap. Daddy drives at the back of the line of vehicles, and the drive is mostly in silence. After a few hours into the drive, Daddy lets me start up a game of I-Spy, and he pretends to get mad whenever I win a round. It almost feels like a normal road trip, if I pretend hard enough. And then the RV breaks down. Everyone gets out of their cars and walks down to the front, except me, because Daddy carries me. Dale says that he can't do anything about the radiator hose (I think that's what he called it) and that we'd never get far on it. Shane gets his binoculars out and says he thinks he can see something up ahead, and he hopes it's a gas station. Jacqui comes speeding down the steps of the RV, telling us that Jim is probably not going to be able to take any more of the road. Shane and T-Dog offer to go up ahead to see what they can find and bring back, and Rick gives them the green light. Rick goes into the RV, and I can see him sit down across from Jim. Daddy keeps me occupied by continuing our game of I-Spy, but most of it is just him telling me about things in the forest and how to survive if I get lost in a forest one day, even though I probably won't. Daddy never really lets me out of his sight, unless he's hunting, and then I get left with either Lori or Dale, and it used to be Uncle Merle, too. Rick comes out of the RV after a few minutes and asks to speak to Daddy alone, so Daddy puts me down next to Carol and tells me to stay there. Sophia picks the game of I-Spy up with me, and it keeps us occupied enough, and Carol joins in sometimes. After a while, Shane and T-Dog come back and join in the conversation. Then, Shane and Rick are carrying Jim out of the RV and laying him against a tree, and it reminds me of the day he was up in the hills digging graves because he had had a nightmare, and he had gotten tied to a tree to stop him from hurting himself even more than he already had, and it reminds me of yesterday, when everyone was discussing what to do with Jim's walker bite. But, this time, I won't see him again. Tomorrow, he's not going to be in the same camp as I am and he won't give me a groggy 'Good morning' ever again, because he's dying. I think I knew he would die, when he first got bit. I think everybody did, but they just didn't wanna believe it. Everyone says their goodbyes to Jim, even Daddy, even though he doesn't say anything. He just nods at him and Jim nods back. "Bye, Jim." I say quietly, when everyone but me and Daddy are walking back to the cars. "Bye, Ivy." Jim says, lifting a weak and sweaty hand to wave at me. I give him a little wave back, and he smiles. "Look after your girl, Dixon. Children are too precious for you to not. It hurts like hell to lose 'em." Jim says. Daddy looks at him, and I think he feels pity. "I will, and for the record, I'm sorry you lost your boys." Daddy picks me up and carries me back to the truck. We're off, and leaving Jim behind, as soon as Dale fixes the RV. I don't really want to occupy myself with silly games, now. So, I don't. We sit in silence, and eventually, I start thinking about how Jim and Uncle Merle are kind of similar. Maybe, they'd be together in the afterlife. I hope Jim gets to see his boys again, and his wife. If anything, he deserves that much. It's starting to get dark when we arrive just outside of the CDC. We all get out and walk over to the doors quietly, passing dead bodies of humans, walkers and animals, and we walk past sandbags, too. The buzzing of the flies annoys me, but I leave it and just hold onto Daddy's hand. Everyone coughs at the smell of rotting bodies. We manage to get to the doors of the CDC without much problem, other than the dead body smell and the flies. There are shutters over the doors, and they don’t budge, not even when Rick tries to pull on them, and Shane tries to break them in, to see if they'll budge. When that doesn't work, he pounds his fists against them, causing a ruckus. T-Dog says that there's nobody here, and Rick looks around frantically. Rick asks why the shutters are down then, and he looks genuinely scared. Daddy points out that walkers are up and walking towards us now, and I get pushed to the middle of a circle along with Sophia and Carl as the adults form a protective circle around us. "You led us into a graveyard!" Daddy shouts at Rick, and Dale tries to get in between them. "He made a call," "It was the wrong damn call, my daughter is out here!" Daddy shouts over Dale, and Rick puts a hand on Daddy's shoulder. "My son is out here, too, Daryl." He says, and Daddy looks back at me and Carl and Sophia. Everyone begins to clamour around and then Daddy is grabbing me and hauling me towards the truck. Someone's crying and I can't tell whether it's me, Carl or Sophia, it sounds like Carl, but my cheeks feel a little wet, too. "The camera moved." Rick says, and everybody stops for a second. Walkers snarl and growl even closer to us and I find myself shaking and clinging to Daddy's shirt. Daddy doesn't stop to listen to the other men who are now shouting and screaming at each other, and he pulls me up and over his shoulder, just when one shutter rolls up and we're blinded by white light. I hide my face in Daddy's back. It's wet with sweat, but it's safe, and I know it's safe because it's my Daddy. He'd never let me get hurt. We all rush into the CDC, and Daddy slowly moves me, so I'm sat on his hip instead of over his shoulder. A weird man comes down the stairs, holding a gun. It kind of looks like Dale's rifle. "Who are you? Any of you infected?" The man asks, stopping on the fourth stair. "One of our group was, he didn't make it." Rick says, and I can see Carl clutching at his belt. Rick lays a hand on his son's shoulder. "What are you looking for?" The man asks, stepping down so he's on the third step instead of the fourth. Rick looks back at us, at me clinging to Daddy's shoulder with a tight grip on Thumper, at Lori who stands off to the side looking at Carl, at T-Dog who's keeping walkers out of the doorway, at Carol who's somehow managed to stand next to me and Daddy with Sophia next to her. "A chance." Rick says. "That's asking an awful lot, these days." The weird man says, lowering his gun a little bit. "I know." Rick says. The man looks around at us, and his gaze lingers on me, Carl and Sophia. He must've had a kid, because I recognise that look. It's the same look Jim had whenever he looked at the kids in camp, mourning his own two sons. It must've hurt him something awful, mourning his kids while being forced into close proximity with five new kids. "You all submit to a blood test. That’s the price of admission." The man says finally, and Rick nods, "We can do that." Something rotten curls in my tummy, even though I should be feeling relieved that we've finally got somewhere to be safe in. It's like the bad feeling I got when Uncle Merle got sent on the supply run, and like the bad feeling I got just before I saw a man bite a chunk straight out of a woman’s chest when me, Daddy and Uncle Merle were out shopping. I cling tighter to Daddy. "You got stuff to bring in, you do it now. Once this door closes, it stays closed." The man says, and everyone is immediately out of the door to grab their things, but I stop Daddy as soon as he goes to put me down next to the truck so he could grab our stuff. "I needta put ya down to get our stuff, Bambi." Daddy says. "I got a bad feeling about it, though." I say, still clinging to him. He immediately stops trying to put me down and walks over to the rest of the group. He tells them to only grab a change of clothes and things they'd only need for tonight. "Why? He said that door wouldn’t open ever again afterwards." Glenn says, crossing his arms in confusion. "Bambi's got a bad feelin', and she ain't ever been wrong before." Daddy says. Dale looks at me and he must see the worried look on my face, because he nods, grabs a change of clothes and a few other things and then he's walking towards the CDC, dodging walkers. Everyone follows his lead, despite him not being the leader, and the man looks really confused when we all come in just holding clothes and a few other knick knacks. He shrugs it off and shows us to an elevator after he tells us his name is Dr. Edwin Jenner. It's cramped, and Daddy has to put me down so we can all squeeze in. Daddy eyes the gun in Jenner's hands warily, pulling me so I'm closer to him. "Doctors always go 'round packin' heat like tha'?" He asks, keeping the gun he had grabbed away from me. "There were plenty left lying around, I familiarised myself. But you look harmless enough." He looks around the elevator some, before his eyes land on Carl, and I think he must have had a son before all of this started, because he softens a little bit. "Except you," He nods at Carl, and I know my theory is correct, "I'll have to keep my eye on you." Carl smiles, looking like me with the shyness of it. When we get out of the elevator, Daddy's immediately picking me up again and I don't fight it, because I'd probably end up falling over my feet. Jenner leads us down a corridor, and it's kind of cold. "Are we underground?" Carol asks, keeping a tight hold on Sophia's hand. "Are you claustrophobic?" Jenner asks, and Carol nods slightly. "A little." Jenner turns back around and continues walking. "Try not to think about it." We get taken into a big room, full of computers and Jenner asks for someone named Vi to turn the lights on. When the lights come on, Jenner gestures to the room. "Welcome to Zone Five." And then he walks further into the room. Rick asks where everybody is, the doctors, staff and things like that. "I'm 'it'." Jenner says, and it sounds like he's saying he's it in tag, and I have to hold a giggle in, because the bad feeling is still there. "It's just me here." Everyone else follows him further into the room, Daddy keeping near the back. "What about the person you were speaking with before? Vi?" Lori asks. "Vi, say hello to our guests. Tell them, welcome." Jenner says, and then a voice that sounds like a computer sounds out. "Hello guests. Welcome." "I'm all that's left, I'm sorry." Jenner says. After that, we all get our blood taken. Andrea nearly falls over, but Jacqui catches her, and then it's my turn. Jenner says that he saved the toughest for last, and I have to hide a small smile. I sit in Daddy's lap while he does it, and as soon as it's finished, Daddy's swooping me away from the doctor. Then, we're being led into a cafeteria and handed our first proper hot meal in months. Wine is passed around, too, and usually Daddy would have some booze or whisky, but tonight he doesn't, just sits with me in his lap, eating and watching our people have fun, nursing a glass of water. "You know, in Italy, children have a little bit of wine at dinner. And in France," Dale says, pouring some wine for Lori. He glances at me and Daddy, but I shake my head and Daddy nods at me, proud. "Well, when Carl is in Italy or France, he can have some then." Lori says, covering the top of Carl's cup with her hand. I'm just happy with the apple juice Jenner had found somewhere for me. "What's it gonna hurt, come on!" Rick says, joining in on the fun. Everyone laughs as Lori removes her hand and Dale pours a tiny amount of wine into Carl's cup. "Here you are, young lad." Dale says, in a false-British accent that makes me giggle into my apple juice. Daddy tugs gently at my pigtails with a small smile. Carl has a sip of the wine and proceeds to pull a face at it. "Eww!" He says, and everyone laughs at him. "That’s my boy." Lori says and pours the rest of the wine in his cup into her cup. "Well, just stick to soda pop there, bud." Shane says, and everyone is laughing again. "Not you, Glenn." Daddy says, tipping his glass of water in the man's direction. "Keep drinking, little man, I wanna see how red your face can get." Glenn ducks his head, laughing. Rick stands up and clinks his knife against his wine glass. "It seems to me that we haven’t thanked our host properly." He says and turns to Jenner. "He is more than just our host," T-Dog says, raising his wine glass, already more than a little tipsy. Everyone agrees, raising glasses to the doctor. "So, when are you going to tell us what the hell happened here, Doc?" Shane asks, and the mood plummets. I put my apple juice down, curling into Daddy's chest. He fiddles with the ends of my pigtails. "All the, uh, the other doctors, that were supposed to be figuring out what happened. Where are they?" Shane finishes, swirling his wine glass, looking like one of those villains who always get beat in animated films. "We're celebrating, Shane." Rick scolds. "Don't need to do this now." Shane looks between Rick and the doctor. "This is why we're here, right? This was your move, supposed to, uh, find all the answers. Instead, we... we found him." Shane points to the doctor who looks down at the table. "Found one man, why?" Shane asks, looking at the doctor this time. He’s being very rude, even if I do have a bad feeling about this place and the doctor, he's still being nice to us, giving us a place to sleep and feeding us. "Well, when things got bad, a lot of people just... left, went off to be with their families. And when things got worse, when the military cordon got overrun, the rest bolted." Jenner says, placing his glass of wine down on the table. "Every last one?" Shane asks. Jenner shakes his head. "No. Many couldn't face walking out the door. They... opted out. There was a rash of suicides. That was a bad time." I know some things about suicide. I know ways you can do it, reasons why people do it, and that it's usually seen as something to get attention. I don't see it as way to get attention. One of my momma's boyfriends committed, took a lot of pills and I found him writhing on the floor, frothing from the mouth. He was nice to me, one of only a few of my momma's boyfriends who were. There was a note next to him, but I couldn't read very good at the time, so the police officer read it out to me, since it was apparently addressed to me anyway. He had written that he was sorry, and that he felt that it was the only way out and that he hopes that I don’t have to look at him or find him. Daddy pulls on my pigtails gently, bringing me out of the little trance thingy I was in. He probably knows what I was thinking about, since he had just parked up to pick me up when the ambulance and police arrived that afternoon. Apparently, I've been out of it for a few minutes, because Daddy is standing up with me on his hip and we're being led down a narrow hallway by Jenner. "Most of the facility is powered down, including housing, so you'll have to make do here. Couches are comfortable, but there are cots in storage if you'd like." Jenner points to the storage room at the start of the hallway, and then points down the hallway the same way we're walking. "There's a rec room down the hall that you kids might enjoy, just don't plug in the video games, alright?" Both Sophia and Carl nod excitedly, but I'm too tired at the minute to do anything other than cling to Daddy. "Same applies, if you shower, go easy on the hot water." Glenn turns around to look at T-Dog. "Hot water?" He asks, slurring a bit due to the alcohol he had drank. "That's what the man said!" T-Dog says, smile getting wider. We all pick out rooms, and me and Daddy get one to ourselves. There's only one couch, but I usually end up cuddling up with Daddy anyway, so we'll probably just share it. Daddy tells me to wait in the room while he has a shower, so I sit on the couch. When he comes back, he's in his change of clothes and his hair is damp still, but he gathers my things and leads me down to the showers. Usually, before the world ended, I'd shower by myself, and Daddy would sit on the toilet lid in case I needed help. And because I felt uncomfortable being left alone in the shower, especially after the stepdad Uncle Merle killed. But, in these showers, there's no curtain, and it's just a cubicle and a glass door. So, Daddy sits on the floor outside the glass door with his back facing me and it's almost like old times. When I'm done, I smell of peaches and my hair isn't greasy anymore. Daddy wraps me in a towel and makes a big show of smelling my hair, making me giggle. He dries me off and puts my pyjamas on for me, and then wrangles my damp hair into two plaits. Daddy takes me down to the rec room to say goodnight to Carl and Sophia and then he's scooping me up and walking to our room. We both curl up on the couch with a blanket over us and Daddy strokes little patterns into my back, but I don't need much help going to sleep, so I'm out like a light in minutes. The next morning, we wake up later than everyone else, even though we went to bed earlier, but we get a few bites of egg - I hate eggs, but T-Dog made them and I wanted to be polite - in before Dale starts asking questions. In response to said questions, Jenner takes us into the first room we saw last night. He asks Vi to show him a playback of TS19. The big screen in front of us turns on to show us a diagram of someone's head, and inside of it to the brain. I clutch on to Daddy's belt and he wraps an arm around my shoulders. "Few people ever got a chance to see this." Jenner says. "Is that a brain?" Carl asks, looking over to Jenner. "An extraordinary one." Jenner says. "Not that it matters in the end. Take us in for an EIV." Vi obeys and shows us the inner workings of the brain. "What are those lights?" Shane asks, pointing to the little flashing lights that the diagram is showing us. "It's a person's life. Experiences, memories, it's everything. Somewhere, in all that organic wiring, all those ripples of light, is you. The thing that makes you unique, and human." Jenner says. "You don't make sense, ever?" Daddy asks, bending down to scoop me up. I happily cling to him. "Those are synapses, electric impulses in the brain that carry all the messages. They determine everything a person says, does or thinks from the moment of birth to the moment of death." Jenner replies, but I don't think it was meant to help Daddy understand anything. "Death? That's what this is, a vigil?" Rick asks. "Yes." Jenner says, but then he flounders. "Or, uh, rather the playback of the vigil." No matter what happens or is said, Jenner has been staring at that person's brain since the start. They must have meant a lot to him. "This person died?" Andrea asks, "Who?" She looks sad, but she's looked sad ever since Amy died, so I can't really blame her. I'd be sad if any of my family members died, I'm still not over Uncle Merle, if I'm honest. "Test Subject 19." Jenner says, turning around to look at her. "Someone who was bitten and infected and volunteered to have us record the process. Vi, scan forward to the first event." Wow, that was a quick mood-swing. The diagram changes, and where some of the little lights were, there’s now black and red lines, looking entirely like a virus would. "What is that?" Glenn asks. "It invades the brain like meningitis, the adrenal glands haemorrhage, the brain goes into shutdown, then the major organs." The diagram follows along with Jenner's words until the entire brain goes dark and the rest of the diagram stops moving. "Then death. Everything you ever were, or ever will be... gone." Jenner says, sounding defeated. "Is that what happened to Jim?" Sophia asks Carol, and she looks down at her daughter with a really sad look. "Yes." She nods. Andrea has to look away, and I can catch sight of some of her tears falling down her jawline. I wish I could give her a hug, but I don't think Daddy would let me down after what we just saw. Jenner looks at her concerned too and Lori has to step in. "She lost somebody two days ago. Her sister." Jenner takes the information, and he walks over to Andrea, keeping a respectful distance. "I lost somebody too; I know how devastating it is." She nods at him and quickly wipes her tears away. Jenner walks away from her and walks back to the computer to face the diagram. "Scan to the second event." The computer does as it's told and the diagram changes again. "The resurrection times vary wildly. We have reports of it happening in as little as three minutes, the longest we heard of was eight hours. In the case of this patient, it was two hours, one minute." Jenner says as the diagram shows a little bit of light being kickstarted into the little blob that I think is the start of the brain. "It restarts the brain?" Lori asks. "No," Jenner says, looking quickly between her and the diagram. "Just the brain stem. Basically, it gets them up and moving." Rick walks closer to Jenner. "But they're not alive?" Jenner closes the space and stands next to Rick. "You tell me." Rick shakes his head. "It's nothing like before. Most of that brain is dark." "Dark, lifeless, dead." Jenner confirms. "The frontal lobe, the neocortex, the human part, that doesn’t come back. The you part. Just a shell, driven by mindless instinct." Daddy holds me tighter, and I cling to him. The diagram shows something ripping through the stem of the brain, and Carol gasps. "God, what was that?" Andrea answers instead of Jenner. "He shot his patient in the head. Didn't you?" Instead of giving an answer, Jenner says, "Vi, power down the main screen and the workstations." Vi obeys, once again, and the screen and computers die down. "You have no idea what it is, do you?" Andrea asks, circling him like a predator. I don't know why, the doctor isn't a threat to us yet. "It could be microbial, viral, parasitic, fungal." Jenner says, and Jacqui puts her opinion in. "Or the wrath of God?" "There is that." Jenner agrees. "Somebody must know something. Somebody, somewhere." Andrea says, and Dale moves to stand next to her. "There are others, right? Other facilities?" Carol asks. "There may be some," Jenner agrees, and Daddy holds me even tighter somehow. "People like me." "But you don't know." Rick says. "How can you not know?" Jenner turns to look at him. "Everything went down, communications, directives, all of it. I've been in the dark for almost a month." Jenner says. "So, it's not just here, then? There's nothing left, anywhere? Nothing? That's what you're really saying, right?" Andrea accuses. Jenner doesn't say anything, but that means that Andrea's right. Daddy adjusts me on his hip and pulls me tighter to him. "Dr. Jenner, I know this has been taxing for you and I hate to ask one more question, but... that clock." Dale points to the red numbers on the left wall, "It's counting down, what happens at zero?" Jenner looks like he genuinely has to think about his answer, and the bad feeling settles into my gut again. I tug on the collar of Daddy's shirt, and he looks at me, "The bad feeling is back," I whisper, and he nods slowly. He holds me tighter and leans against a half-wall. "The... basement generators, they run out of fuel." "And then?" Rick asks. Carol and Sophia come over to stand near Daddy and me and Sophia waves to me. I wave back. Jenner starts to walk out of the room, and Rick huffs, frustrated. "Vi, what happens when the power runs out?" "When the power runs out, facility-wide decontamination will occur." Daddy puts me on the floor and tells me to stay in Carol's sight as he and the other men go down to the basements to look at the generators. Carol takes us into the rec room, and she reads a book while me and Sophia play KerPlunk. After a while, the air conditioning turns off, and Carol looks away from her book, confused. Me and Sophia continue to play KerPlunk until she gets up and takes us back to the big room we were in before. I fiddle with Thumper while we wait for everyone else to come in. All the lights turn off at some point, and then everyone is coming in, excluding the men other than Dale, who walks in asking if air is a priority. The men come back up from the basements and Daddy makes a straight beeline for me. He picks me and sets me on his hip as soon as he reaches me, and Lori crowds against her husband. "Jenner, what's happening?" Rick asks. "The system is dropping all nonessential uses of power, it's designed to keep the computers running until the last possible second. That started as we approached the half-hour mark. Right on schedule." Jenner says, and Carol, for some reason, leaves Sophia next to me and Daddy and runs off into the room she and Sophia claimed last night. She comes out holding her bag. "It was the French." Jenner says, walking up into the middle of the room. "What?" Andrea asks, following him. "They were the last ones to hold out as far as I know. While our people were bolting out the doors and committing suicide in the hallways, they stayed in the labs until the end. They thought they were close to a solution." Jenner says. "What happened?" Jacqui asks, also following him. "The same thing that's happening here. No power grid. Ran out of juice. The world runs on fossil fuel, I mean how stupid is that?" Jenner replies. "Let me tell you..." Shane goes to grab Jenner angrily, but Rick grabs him. "To hell with it, Shane. Lori, go grab what we brought. Everybody, go grab what you have, we're getting out of here, now." Rick says, letting go of Shane to turn and point to his wife. As soon as everyone starts to move, an alarm starts blaring. Everyone screams at the doctor to tell us what's going on, but he just goes around pressing buttons and swiping cards. "Everyone, you heard Rick, go grab your stuff, now!" Shane yells. Before anyone can leave, all the doors shut. "Did you just lock us in?" Glenn asks, spinning around blindly until he can see Jenner. I cling tighter to Daddy and his grip on me tightens so much his knuckles go white. "He just locked us in!" Glenn yells. I clutch at Daddy's shoulder and keep a tight grip on Thumper, and I can see out of the corner of my eye that Sophia has her doll from Eliza in her hands, too. Carol was the only one who brought a bag in, and even then, it was a small one, like a purse. Jenner begins to record for something, and Carl shouts for his mom. Daddy puts me down next to Carol and Sophia and runs for Jenner. "You son of a bitch! You locked us in here!" He yells, moving to grab the doctor until Rick shouts for Shane and Shane grabs him so he doesn't put hands on the doctor. "Hey, Jenner, open that door, right now." Rick says, moving over. "There's no point, everything topside is locked down. The emergency exits are all sealed." Jenner says, and Sophia looks up at her mom. "Are we going to be stuck here?" She asks, and Carol wraps both of her arms around me and Sophia. "No, we'll figure something out, girls." She says soothingly. "Well, open the damn things!" Daddy says, still being held back by T-Dog and Shane. "That's not something that I control, the computers do. I told you! Once that front door closed, it would never open again! You heard me say that!" Daddy moves away from Shane and T-Dog and moves to stand next to me, Carol and Sophia. He keeps a tight grip on my shoulders. "It's better this way," Jenner says, and Rick turns on him. "What is? What happens in twenty-eight minutes?" Jenner turns around and begins to type into a keyboard, but Shane grabs him and drags him out of his seat. "What happens in twenty-eight minutes?!" Shane yells. "You know what this place is?!" Jenner shouts and I squeak at the volume, hiding my face into the top of Thumper's head. Daddy bends down and scoops me up onto his hip. "We protected the public from very nasty stuff! Weaponised smallpox! Ebola strains that could wipe out half the country! Stuff you don’t want to get out! Ever!" Jenner yells and then sits himself back down in his seat, collecting himself. "In the event of a catastrophic power failure, in a terrorist attack for example, HITs are deployed to prevent any organisms from getting out." Jenner explains, a lot calmer now. Daddy puts me down to join the other men where they've surrounded Jenner. "HITs?" Rick asks. "Vi, define." Jenner says. "HITs, high impulse thermobaric fuel-air explosives consist of a two-stage aerosol ignition that produces a blast wave of significantly greater power and duration than any other known explosive except nuclear." Shane starts pacing, and Carl and Sophia start crying as their moms hug them. Daddy is torn between looking at me and Jenner, but he eventually chooses me and walks over, picking me up and hugging me tightly. "Daddy, I'm scared," I whimper, hiding my face in his shoulder. "I know, Bambi. I'm gonna getcha outta here, Bambi, don' worry." Daddy whispers, stroking my hair gently. Vi continues to give her explanation, "The vacuum-pressure effect ignites the oxygen between five-thousand and six-thousand degrees, and it is useful when the greatest loss of life and damage to structures is desired." Vi finishes. "It sets the air on fire." Jenner summarises. "No pain, an end to sorrow, grief, regret. Everything." Daddy puts me down and Carol immediately grabs me so she's hugging both me and Sophia. The men go up to the door and start throwing things at it, doing anything to get it to break or open on its own. "Open the damn door!" Daddy yells after throwing an empty glass bottle at it. Tears slip down my cheeks and Sophia and Carl are full out sobbing. Shane somehow finds an axe and runs towards the door, shouting "Out of my way!". The first hit does basically nothing, but then Glenn throws an axe to Daddy and both him and Shane go at it, slamming the sharp metal at the door in hopes it'll break. The noise rings in my ears and I have to cover them. We all slip down to the floor and Sophia climbs into her mother's lap. Lori pulls me against her other side since Carl is leaning against her too, and she covers my ears for me as I cry silently. Jenner is talking, but I don't listen to him. Obviously, I should've been, because soon after, Daddy moves closer and swings his axe towards the doctor's head before Shane and T-Dog grab him. I still don't listen. I only start to listen when Carol starts crying, and Daddy comes over and peels me away from Lori's side and lets me curl up into his lap. "This isn't right, you can't just keep us here." "One tiny moment, a millisecond. No pain." Jenner tries to explain, but Carol is having none of it. "Our children don’t deserve to die like this! Two of them are twelve and one of them is eight, for God's sake!" Dale helps both Sophia and Carol stand up and move away from the doctor, and I kind of wish Daddy would move us away from him too. And it's like Daddy can read my mind, he stands up with me on his hip and stands next to Dale. Shane apparently ran off and found the gun Jenner had yesterday and cocks it, heading straight for Jenner. Rick is immediately at him, telling him no and to put it down and away, but Shane doesn't listen this time, and just keeps heading for the doctor. It just makes me more scared, so I hide in Daddy's shoulder. I can hear Shane threatening Jenner into opening the door, and I can feel Daddy shaking with either fear or anger, probably both, but his hand on the back of my neck is steady. Shane yells, not any words, just yells, and then he's shooting, and I squeak and duck even further into Daddy's neck to hide from the yelling and banging. I wait for the tell-tale squish of someone's brain being shot at, but it never comes, so I guess Jenner is still alive. I knew my bad feeling wasn't wrong, but I never knew it would have gone this bad. I block everything out and just sob into Daddy's shoulder, clutching at him and Thumper, until Daddy reluctantly hands me to Dale and goes back to pounding at the door with his axe, Dale somehow has the strength to hold me without dropping me or his arms going tired, and I just cry and cry and cry into his shoulder. I don't want to die like this, but I also don't want to die to a walker out there either. I don't want to die at all! Something whirrs and then I'm being pulled out of Dale's arms and into Daddy's and then he's running. We get upstairs, and then Daddy puts me down next to Carol so he can axe at the doors and when that doesn't work, he goes for the windows. That doesn't work either, not even when all men start throwing things at them, they don't break, and they don't even splinter or shatter. Shane tries shooting at the windows and that doesn't even do anything. We're all getting desperate, and Sophia and me are still crying and holding onto Carol. Carol walks over to the men and starts digging around in her bag, "Rick, I think I might have something that might help." She says, still digging around. "Carol, I don't think a nail file is going to help." Shane says. Then, Carol pulls a grenade out of her bag and hands it warily to Rick. "Your first morning at camp, when I washed your uniform, I found this in your pocket." Rick nods and takes it, and then everyone is running around the corner and Daddy is picking me up so that he's ready to run. It blows, and the entire window is shattered, and then everyone is running for it and climbing out and sprinting to the cars. There's no time to get into the cars, though, so we all pile into Dale's RV. A few seconds later, the entire CDC is blowing up. When the explosion is done, we all pop our heads through the window and everyone who isn't riding in the RV gets out. That's when we see Dale and Andrea crouched down in front of sandbags just a few steps in front of the RV. Andrea and Dale get into the RV, and everyone else gets into their respective cars, and then we're driving away. I don't notice Jacqui is missing until Daddy says that he doesn't think he saw her. I mourn both Jim and Jacqui in the span of two days. How wonderful. I didn't even get to say goodbye to Jacqui, either. The walkie-talkie goes off, "We're real glad you had that bad feeling, Ivy, saved us losing a buncha stuff." Rick says, and Daddy ruffles my hair and smiles all proud like at me. I smile back and hug Thumper.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Ivy's POV
The drive out of Atlanta is kind of boring. At some point, the truck me and Daddy are in runs out of fuel, so we ditch it. Dale lets us put our stuff in his RV and Daddy gets Uncle Merle's motorbike out of the back of it for us to drive on. I sit behind Daddy with a tight grip around his waist and I kind of miss Thumper, but I left him in the RV in case I accidentally dropped him because Daddy said we wouldn't be going back for him if I did drop him. The wind is too loud in our ears to play any I-Spy, so it's really boring. I should have stayed in the RV with Dale and the others he has piled in there. We drive for a few miles until we hit a traffic snarl. Daddy dodges around the cars, finding a way for the RV to get through, before circling back to tell Dale. The RV follows us as we weave through the cars, going really slow so we don’t hit any. Behind us, something bursts in the RV, and Daddy quickly moves the motorbike and us away from it.
"I said it, didn't I say it? A thousand times, dead in the water." Dale says, getting out of the RV and moving to the front of it.
"Problem, Dale?" Shane asks.
"Just a small matter of being stuck in the middle of nowhere with no hope of..." Dale trails off as he turns around to look at the traffic snarl. Daddy kicks the motorbike stand down and gets off the bike, helping me down afterwards. He walks over to a car just in front of the RV and digs around in the trunk.
"Okay, that was dumb." Dale says.
"If you can't find a radiator hose here..." Shane says.
"Whole buncha stuff we could find." Daddy says, digging through the trunk of the car still.
"I can siphon more fuel from these cars for a start." T-Dog says, walking off further down the traffic snarl.
"Maybe some water." Carol suggests, holding Sophia's hand.
"Or food." Dale says.
"This is a graveyard. I don't know how I feel about this." Lori says, looking a bit weirded out.
We all end up ignoring Lori. The adults dig around in the cars while me, Carl and Sophia stick around with Lori and Carol. Every time we approach a car with a dead person inside it, Lori drags us away from it. We walk past a few baby things and Carol and Lori have to look away from them, and in extension steer us away from them. I catch sight of a baby bottle with blood covering it and have to look away, too. We find a few empty cars to dig around in, and Carol finds a pretty red top in the trunk of one. She holds it against her body with a small smile, and Sophia notices and nudges me.
"My mom would look really pretty in that, wouldn't she?" She asks, excitedly and I nod, smiling for what feels like the first time in days. Carol notices me, Sophia and Lori looking at her and immediately puts the top down.
"Ed never let me wear nice things like this. We're going to need clothes." She says, and I frown.
Carl goes to wander off and Lori catches it straight away. I don't know why he tries, moms always figure things out. "Hey, Carl, always within my sight, okay? You too, Ivy."
I nod and continue picking through cars with Sophia. I smell something rotten after a while, and a bad feeling curls in my tummy again. I climb onto the hood of a car and spot hundreds of walkers coming our way. I squeak and scramble down onto the pavement, pointing the walkers out to Lori and Carol. They whisper-shout at me, Carl and Sophia to get under a car as they climb underneath one themselves. Carl gets under one, and me and Sophia both climb under the same one, next to Carl's. Minutes later, hundreds of feet come shuffling past the cars and I cover both mine and Sophia's mouths with my hands. Both of our bodies shake, and I try my hardest to not start crying. Tears wet the hand I have over Sophia's mouth, and she huddles closer to me, making sure neither of us are sticking out of the side the car. I catch sight of Carol and Lori, Carol has got Lori's hand over her mouth and tears slip down her cheeks, she catches my eye and I realise she's looking for Sophia. I move my head up so she can see her daughter more clearly and she closes her eyes.
It's really hard to not start crying, but I try my best and the tears only gather in my eyes, they don't fall. After a few minutes, the shuffling of feet stop coming past us. Sophia starts to shuffle out from underneath the car just as growling comes out from a left-behind walker. She squeaks, and the walker bends down to see both of us under the car. I'm immediately shuffling out of the other side and dragging Sophia out with me and making a beeline for the woods, the walker and a new walker not that far behind. I'm clumsy as all hell, but I know the woods better than these mindless things, and I know how to make sure someone can find us. Despite being clumsy, I'm a fast runner and once I've got a good speed going, all that clumsiness goes away and I hope for that to come in now as I run as hard and fast as I can, dragging Sophia along with me. Behind the walkers' shuffling and mine and Sophia's hard footsteps, I can hear steady running, an adult male's. It might be Shane, Daddy or Rick, I can't tell right now, and I don't turn around at all to check whether it is one of them or if the walkers have gotten bored of us yet. I just keep running and dragging Sophia along with me.
After a few minutes of running, I run smack into a hard body. I scream as I topple to the floor and Sophia goes down with me. I look up and spot the white shirt first. Rick. He bends down and pulls both of us to our feet.
"You alright?" He whispers, putting a hand on each of our cheeks. I nod, but Sophia grabs for his gun in his belt.
"Shoot them!" She whimpers, but he stops her.
"No, no. Those walkers on the road would hear it, then it wouldn't just be two, it'd be hundreds." The leaves rustle, and then Rick is picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder in a fireman carry and picking Sophia up on his hip and rushing away as quietly as he can. I keep a tight grasp on the back of his shirt to steady my shaking hands and I can feel my heart beating really fast. Those tears from before are making a comeback and this time, I can't fight them, and they fall.
We get to a creek, and then Rick is putting us both down while he hops down into it. Then he's helping Sophia down and then me. He drags both of us to a little hiding place in the bushes and pushes us into it.
"Squeeze in tight, okay?" We do as he says, and then he kneels down so we can see him, and he can see us. Sophia curls around me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders because I'm sat in between her legs.
"I'll draw 'em away from here-"
"No, don't leave us." Sophia whimpers and I press myself against her, holding one of her hands tightly.
"He has to." I whisper, genuinely surprised at how well I'm holding up. I should have cracked and broken down into sobs by now.
"Ivy's right, they don't get winded, I do. I can only deal with them one at a time. I wouldn't be able to protect both of you if I took both of them at the same time, yeah?" When Sophia nods against the back of my head and sucks in a shaky breath, he continues.
"If I don't make it back, run back to the highway, back to the others, straight the way we came. Keep the sun on your left shoulder. Ivy, you could find your way back anyway, right, Hunter's Daughter?" I nod shakily. He nods back, and then he's shouting at the walkers and flinging water at them to draw them away.
As soon as I can't hear them anymore, I drag Sophia out of the hiding place. The coast is clear. I climb up the side of the creek and help Sophia out. The bottoms of my pink converse are covered in sludgy mud and the bottom of my sundress is wet, and Sophia's pants are wet, too. A strand of black hair twirls in the wind past my face and I watch it go past before creeping through the woods, back to the highway with Sophia right behind me. Until a walker gets in our way. She doesn't notice us, but she's standing in the way of our route, so I detour. I'm afraid to say that I only memorised the way the walker is in right now, so we're probably going to get lost, but I can survive in the woods for a week at most and Daddy'd probably find us before then. We get past the walker quietly, and then a twig snaps to our left. A pretty woman with flaming orange hair and the brightest green eyes I've ever seen in my eight years of living steps out of a bush and her pretty eyes widen upon seeing us.
Vittoria's POV
I hate you! I hope I ain't ever see you again!
The words reverberate around in my ears, and I sigh, leaning against a tree. Now was not the time for my little sister to throw a tantrum and then get spooked by a walker and run away. Not when the world has ended. My stomach curls with worry and I almost throw up until I hear two people's heavy breathing. They try to cover it up, but they must be children because they aren't doing too good at it. Hope curls inside my ribcage and seizes my heart and lungs. It might be Cara! But who would she have found in the woods? I crunch a twig under my heavy combat boots and step out of the bush that was covering me. That hope dies inside my chest but worry curls deeper in my gut. There are two little girls, neither of them is Cara. The smaller one has dirty blonde hair with clear, blue eyes and she's dressed in a white sundress with pink bows decorating her mussed pigtails. The taller one has short cropped dirty blonde hair and grey-green eyes, she's dressed in a blue shirt with a rainbow on it and green cargo pants.
"Are you two okay?" I ask, because I can't in good conscience let two little girls wander around in the woods without protection.
The smaller one nods and quickly swipes the tears on her face away. My heart hurts at the sight of it.
"Are you lost?" I ask and move closer slowly, letting them know I'm not a threat. The taller girl looks at the smaller one when she hesitantly nods.
"You said you knew the way!" The taller one says.
"I do know the way! The walker is standing in it." The smaller one says sheepishly. I look around and see the female walker that had gotten stuck chasing me a few minutes ago when I was looking for Cara. I had already stabbed her in the head, but she had just kept coming so I just left her where she was when she got stuck.
"I could help you find your people?" I offer, adjusting my backpack.
"Please?" The smaller one asks. I smile at her and nod.
"My name's Vittoria, what's yours?" I offer a hand out to both of them and they both hesitantly reach for them.
"Sophia." The taller one says.
"Ivy." The smaller one says.
"Those are lovely names."
Ivy tells me that their people are on the highway, but it's already getting dark by the time I get the story out of them. So, I get them to do the routine I had with Cara. I help them climb up a tree each and tie them down to a thick enough branch, so they don't fall off while they sleep. I stay awake down on the floor, watching to make sure no walkers come this way. I only have to take out two with my knife, making sure I make no noise at all. By the time both of the girls wake up, it's midday and I help them both down from their trees. I tell them to be quiet as they follow me to the female walker who's still stuck in the mud. She snarls and growls at me as I step into her view and the knife I stick in her head actually kills her this time and she drops to the floor. I let Ivy lead us through the route she memorised to the highway, but I spot three walkers wandering aimlessly in circles just next to the guard rails. Ivy spots them too and looks up at me expectantly. I shake my head and lead them quietly back the way we came.
"I can't take three on by myself, I'd have to split them up and leave you guys by yourselves, and I know you don't want that to happen again." Sophia nods quickly, and Ivy seems to actually understand my reasoning instead of just going along blindly with what I say just because I'm an adult. Ivy's parents might've been hunters, then. I tell them we'll come back later to see if the walkers are gone.
We wander around the woods until we come out of the trees and stand face to face with a small town. We walk up to the church first, and I look through the window. There are three walkers in there, so we leave it. Ivy finds a sharpie on the floor and asks if she can leave a marker for her dad and their people. Sophia also asks. I nod. Ivy writes 'I.M.D + S.P were here' on the wall and underlines it.
"Daddy said that if I ever get lost in the woods, I should write my initials in or on a landmark so he could find me easier." Ivy explains and caps the sharpie. It's a smart idea. I wish I taught Cara to do that, I'm a good tracker, but not as good as Ivy's dad must be.
Daryl's POV
As soon as all the walkers are gone, I'm up and pulling T-Dog with me. I drop him off with Dale and then I'm searching for Ivy. Last I checked, she was with Carol and Lori, but when I get to them, Carol is staring off into the woods with Lori's hand on her shoulder and Carl standing next to both of them. Sophia and Ivy are nowhere in sight, and neither is Rick. Shane and everyone else end up following.
"Where's Bambi and Sophia?" I ask and Carol startles, looking at me with teary eyes.
"They got spotted, Ivy took off into the woods with Sophia and Rick immediately ran after them." Lori says, giving both me and Carol a worried look.
My heart drops down straight through my stomach and then I'm launching myself over the guardrail with no hesitation, Shane and Glenn following. I know my little girl is capable of looking after herself in the woods for a few days, but that was before the world ended. Before I didn't have to worry about dead people tryna munch on my baby girl. I follow the tracks and pride fills me. Ivy kept in the wet areas, so her footprints are clear as day, and she kicked enough leaves and twigs out the way I can follow both of her and Sophia's tracks easily.
Then Rick runs into us, and he leads us to the creek he had left them in. My heart pounds in worry as I inspect the hiding place he had left Ivy and Sophia in and how empty it is now.
"Y'sure this is the spot?" I ask, and then I know it is because there's a strand of dirty-blonde hair that I know belongs to my little girl. Rick looks panicked, and I can't really blame him. He had tried to protect two little girls – one of them being mine – and he couldn't find them again.
"I left them right there!" He insists, even though I know he isn't wrong. I look around for more things to see where they would have went, but only find a few strands of black hair that I figure must belong to a walker, since they're too long to be Rick's.
"I drew the walkers off in that direction up the creek." Rick says, pointing the way he had said. Even if she was scared, Ivy would have tried to memorise the way, so the tracks should go the way Rick took them.
"Good news is they'd be together. Bambi wouldn't separate from Sophia." I say, even though the worry is currently eating its way through all of my major organs.
"They were gone by the time I got back. I figured they just took off and ran back to the group. I told them to go back the way we came and to keep the sun on their left shoulders." Rick points to the little ledge he had come down through and I see the prints left behind by the bottoms of Ivy's shoes.
"Assuming they know their lefts from their rights." Shane says but I ignore him in favour of moving Glenn out of the way to see if the tracks go the way they had come in through.
"Shane, they understood me fine." Rick says. Ivy would have forced herself to understand, even if Sophia couldn't.
"The kids are tired and scared, man. They had their close calls with two walkers, got to wonder how much of what you said stuck?" Shane replies and I turn to look at both of them.
"Bambi would have listened. She knows how to keep a level head when she's on her own. Got clear prints, too. She listened, even if Sophia couldn't." I say, climbing out of the creek and following the tracks. "Let's spread out, make our way back." I say and continue walking.
"They couldn't have gone far." Shane says and follows me. They could have gone far, Ivy would have made sure they got as far as they could with what little light they have left, and she'd find a safe hiding place for them for the night, but I don't tell any of them that and just keep following the tracks.
"We'll find 'em, they'll be tuckered out, hidin' away in a bush somewhere." That might be the only thing Shane has said that is correct.
The tracks veer off to the right and I immediately see what made Ivy drag Sophia off of the route she had most likely memorised. There's a walker stuck in the mud in the only way the girls could have gotten through without getting lost. There's a stab wound through the thing's head already, but it's still snarling and swaying, it's stuck in the mud knee deep, and it's not got any blood on its hands or mouth that's fresh, so we leave it.
"They were doing just fine 'till right here, but I'm guessin' that walker's in the way of the only way Bambi knows how to get to the highway. They veered off that way." I point to where the tracks lead off to.
"So, what do we do? All of us just press on?" Shane asks, and we all look at Rick for an answer.
"No, better if you and Glenn get back up to the highway. People are gonna start panicking. Let 'em know we're on their trail doing everything we can, but most of all, keep everybody calm." He says and Shane immediately takes the sliver of control Rick's given him.
"I'll keep 'em busy scavenging cars, think up a few other chores, I'll keep 'em occupied. Come on." Both Glenn and Shane walk off past the walker, even as it snarls and tries to reach for them. I lead Rick down the girls' path.
"I'm sorry." Rick says after a while of just following me in silence.
"You did what you thought was best. I'd have done the same." I say. I ain't mad at Rick, he saved my daughter, and it gave her time to get away. But I am worried, it's my job to worry about her, she's my little girl.
"I got your daughter lost in the woods, how was it the best?" Rick asks. I turn to look at him.
"Bambi and Sophia may be lost in the woods, but Bambi knows how to survive for a week minimum by herself in the woods." I tell him, but it doesn't seem to get rid of the guilt or worry that he's feeling. After a few minutes, the tracks grow fainter and there's another set of footprints, a teenager, maybe?
"There's another pair of footprints, a teenager's? I can't tell if they're a girl or a boy, but the girls went with them willingly, so Bambi didn't think they were a bad person." I tell Rick, and he looks down.
We follow the tracks a few more minutes before leaves rustle and growling comes from a bush. A walker comes shuffling out and my arrow is between its eyes before it can even spot us. There's fresh blood on its hands and mouth. "Bambi! Sophia!" I shout and wait for a response. I get big fat nothing. Rick bends down and puts a pair of gloves on and digs around in the walker's mouth.
"Flesh?" I ask, and he nods with a face that looks absolutely devastated. I pull my gloves on and pull my knife out of the holster on my belt. Rick rips open the bastard's shirt and I slice its front open. As soon as I can get my hands inside it, I do, and I feel around for its stomach. Rick looks like he's about to be sick and he looks away as I pull useless organs out of the way. This bastard better not have bitten my daughter, or I swear to God. I finally get my hands on the stomach, and it's full and large and bulging. Dread seizes my chest, but I hide it.
"Yeah, Hoss had a big meal not long ago." I pull the stomach out and put it on the floor.
Rick cuts it open, and the first thing we see is a woodchuck head. Good, not my daughter or Carol's daughter. I pull the woodchuck head out the way and then it reveals a true monstrosity. There's bits of a human heart in there, with bits of green fabric, skin and what I think is part of a scalp? The skin is too tanned to be either Ivy's or Sophia's and neither of them were wearing a green shirt. The hair on the scalp is long and black, so this bastard was never anywhere near Ivy or Sophia.
"That's bit of heart, Daryl." Rick says, panicked.
"Neither of the girls were wearing a green shirt, or have black hair or tanned skin, Rick. It's a damn shame this person lost their life to this fucker, but it wasn't Bambi or Sophia." I'm happy it wasn't Ivy or Sophia. He nods slowly. I take the piece of green fabric out. It's a little design, a light green moon and stars on a dark green background. Something a child would wear, probably. I know Ivy would if it was pink. Fuck's sake. Rick notices, too.
"A child's shirt?" He asks, and I have to nod slowly. This dirty bastard ate a child. I can't imagine what their parents are thinking, fuck.
We leave the brutalised bastard in the dirt and continue following the tracks until it's too dark to see the tracks. I hate to do it, but we have to go back now. We walk past the walker stuck in the mud and it growls and reaches for us as we do so. It gets nowhere near. Carol is nearly in tears when she sees us, and she fidgets from foot to foot and shakes her hands.
"You didn't find them?" She asks.
"We couldn't see much, we'll pick it up at first light, I promise." Rick says.
"You can't leave our daughters out there on their own! Daryl, what about Ivy?" She looks at me, then.
"They stuck together, Bambi knows how to survive in the woods, and they found someone, a teenager, I think. Ivy went with them willingly, so they'd be a good person." I say, and I think it's the first time anyone in camp has ever heard me call my daughter by her name instead of Bambi. Carol's eyes catch on the gloves bumping against my thigh.
"Is that – is that blood?" She asks shakily, and she does start crying then.
"We took down a walker." Rick says and Lori wraps her arms around Carol's shoulders from behind and Carol grips onto her arms.
"There was no sign it was ever near Sophia, or Ivy." Rick assures, and then Andrea is stirring the pot. I scowl at her, even if she doesn't notice it.
"How could you know that?" I pull out the bit of green fabric I had taken out of the bastard's stomach.
"We cut it open, made sure. It ate a kid, but not mine and not yours. Tanned skin, black hair and green shirt." Carol looks relieved but also sad, and I can see the grief in Lori's eyes, too.
"That poor kid, and their parents." Lori says, hugging Carol tighter.
"How could you just leave them out there to begin with?" Carol sobs. "How could you just leave them?"
"Those two walkers were on us, I had to draw 'em off. It was their best chance." Rick says, and I get real bored, so I wander off towards the RV. I won't sleep tonight. Not when Ivy's out there, and I don't know if she's alive still or not.
Ivy's POV
Vittoria clears a house out for us to sleep in when it gets dark, and she lets me write mine and Sophia's initials on every house we pass by so Daddy knows which way we went. Vittoria lends us wipes to clean ourselves up with and she even does my hair for me. She asks Sophia if she wants her to brush her hair for her, but Sophia shakes her head and takes the offered brush and brushes her own hair. Vittoria finds two musty blankets for us to use and lets us curl into her sides as we fall asleep. When we wake up, Vittoria does my hair again, and lends us some underwear. I don't know why she had underwear in my size, but I don’t question it.
"We'll circle back to the woods, up to the highway. See if those walkers are gone and if your people are still there or if they've moved." Vittoria says, handing me a small pocketknife with the initials C.K on it. I wonder who C.K is and why she's handing me a knife, since I'm smaller than Sophia and younger.
"To write your signature, for your dad." She says, her funny accent tripping me up in understanding her a little. It's kind of like mine and Daddy's - Southern - but it doesn't sound American at all. Maybe British? I don't know.
"Who's C.K?" Sophia asks, looking at the knife too.
"My little sister, Cara. I'm looking for her while I help you two look for your people." Oh. She must be my age, if her clothes fit me. I hope Vittoria finds her. Every single tree we pass, I carve I.M.D and S.P into it. The three walkers are gone from where they were, and Vittoria slowly leads us up onto the highway. The RV is there still, but I can't see anyone, they must have moved and decided to come back for the RV later, since Dale would never leave his baby, even when the world's ended. I tell Vittoria so, and Sophia backs me up. She nods and walks us back into the woods. I continue carving mine and Sophia's initials into trees. After a while, there's a gunshot, and Vittoria freezes.
"That could be our people." Sophia says, clutching her doll close to her chest. I didn't even notice she still had a hold of it. Wow, I would have dropped Thumper ages ago by accident.
"Or it could be Cara." Vittoria mumbles and breaks off into a speed walk with me and Sophia trailing behind her.
Daryl's POV
The next morning, Rick pulls out an entire sleeve of hand-held weapons and tells everyone to pick one. Andrea, of course, complains about the lack of guns. Shane shuts her down with an answer that him, me and Rick are the only ones that are carrying. She goes off into a huff, but I ignore her. The only thing on my mind right now is finding Ivy and Sophia.
"The idea is to take the creek up about five miles, turn around and come back down the other side. Chances are, they'll be by the creek, it's their only landmark and Bambi knows how to find water." I say, hoisting my crossbow over my shoulder. I walk off as Rick gives the rest of the group a pep-talk. I don't need it, and neither does Carol, apparently, because she follows behind me as soon as I walk off. After a while, the others catch up to us and we all walk in a single file line.
After we've been walking for a few minutes, we come across a tent. Rick calls Carol up to the front and keeps a sturdy hand on her shoulder while looking at both me and her.
"They could be in there," Shane says from behind us.
"Could be a whole lot of things in there." I creep forward silently, and the others follow. I check in the small window and the open door of the tent, but I get no sounds and I can't see clearly inside of it. Rick motions for me to come back to him so I do and stand next to Carol.
"Both of you, call out softly. If they're in there, it's both of your voices they should hear." I nod to Carol to go first, and she takes a deep breath.
"Sophia, Sweetie? It's Mommy." She calls, and then Rick nods to me.
"Bambi, you in there?" Nothing shuffles, and we don't even hear any mumbles or murmuring.
I move closer to the tent and Rick follows me but tells Carol to stay where she is. I unzip the tent and move the door away slightly. The smell is horrible, and flies are buzzing all around in the tent. Whoever died in there, died a few days ago, so it's not Ivy or Sophia. But it might be a walker, so I still move quietly. The person that died in there is a man. His lower jaw's been blasted off and there's a hole in the back of his bald head. He's not a walker, then. Just dead. I huff and climb out of the tent, shaking my head at Carol. She deflates slightly, but we continue going.
Church bells begin ringing as soon as the tent is no longer in our sights. We all run that way. It's a small little town, and the church doesn’t even have a steeple or a bell. We all run towards it anyway, up to the door. Me and Rick open the doors, and there's only three walkers in the main room. Me, Rick and Shane take 'em out and then we all sit around for a little break. Shane yells out Sophia and Ivy's names, but no one calls out. Damnit. Carol sits down in the pews closest to the statue of Christ, but I storm outside. There, on the wall in pink sharpie is 'I.M.D and S.P were here' in Ivy's handwriting. Good girl, leaving me signs.
"Hey, Carol." She comes sprinting out of the church with everyone hot on her heels. I point to the sign on the wall. "Sophia have a middle name?" She shakes her head in disbelief.
"No," She whispers.
"They were here. I taught Bambi to leave me little signs with 'er initials if she ever got lost somewhere, so I could find 'er easier." Carol looks at me with pure hope in her eyes, and the worry curling in my gut loosens its hold on my major organs.
"If they were here, they could still be in the town. Would she leave markings on everything she walked past if she could?" Rick asks, and I nod, already noticing a pink marking on the first house down a street. I walk over to it, and everyone follows. 'I.M.D and S.P were here'.
"They went down that way." I point down the street, and we follow my daughter's markings up until we see a house with the front door open. On the white bricks outside of the house, there's another little marking. 'We shacked up here for the night, V.K is letting us circle back to the highway, V.K is nice, by the way, she's protecting us – I.M.D + S.P'. The ink is still fresh, so we might have literally just walked past them. Great.
"The V.K woman is protecting them?" Carol asks, holding a hand to her chest.
"She's most likely a teenager, her footprints were the size of a teenager's." I say, and the first tree I see has 'I.M.D + S.P' carved into it.
We all head into the woods again, and Rick, Carl and Shane hang behind for some reason, but they don't stop walking so I just leave it. Rick gives Lori his gun before they start walking slower, though, and that just makes Andrea a lot huffier. We walk over a log, and Carol sits down. I notice that Carl, Rick and Shane aren't right behind us, so I guess it's okay to wait up for them a bit. I can still see the trail of carved trees.
"So, this is it? This is the whole plan? How are you not worrying yourself sick, Daryl?" Carol asks, huffing.
"I guess the plan is to whittle us down into smaller and smaller groups. And I am worrying myself sick, I'm just not showin' it." I reply, leaning against a tree.
"Carrying knives and pointy sticks," Andrea huffs, and I know she's about to mention the fact Lori has a gun and she doesn't.
"I see you have a gun." I roll my eyes the same time Lori does. Bingo.
"Why? You want it?" Lori is pulling the gun out of the waistband of her jeans before Andrea can say anything. "Here, take it. Sick of the looks you're giving me." Andrea takes the gun and Lori sits down on the log, mumbling. "All of you." And then she's looking at Carol. "Honey, I can't imagine what you're going through, and I would do anything to stop it. But you have got to stop blaming Rick, Daryl doesn't, so why do you? It is in your face every time you look at him. When Ivy ran with Sophia, he didn't hesitate, did he? Not for a second." Carol is quiet, thoroughly scolded, but Lori keeps going to get her point across. "I don't know that any of us, except Daryl, would have gone after the girls the way he did, or made the hard decisions that he had to make, or that anybody could have done it any differently." She looks at me, then, and I think she can see the genuine worry inside me because she softens just a little.
"Bambi's my girl and I would have had to do what Rick did." I say, fiddling with my crossbow strap.
"Exactly." Lori says. "Y'all look to him and then blame him when he's not perfect. If you think you can do this without him then go right ahead, nobody is stopping you." Carol nods with tears in her eyes as Lori takes a sip of her water bottle. I look at the little carving that my little girl had made in the tree and trace it with my fingers. God, not being able to just pick her up out of harm's way is killing me. When I turn back around, Andrea is handing the gun back over to Lori.
"We should keep moving." Andrea says. I nod and point the way the carved trees go.
We get a few feet away from where we were, and then a gunshot sounds out. From where Carl, Shane and Rick are supposed to be. Lori spins around frantically, trying to see where it happened. Andrea grabs her when she goes to make a run back to where we came.
"Hey, Shane probably just took down a walker." Andrea says.
"Shane's not stupid, he'd have done it quietly." Lori hisses. I spot something pink in the bushes and my heart drops. I pick it out and my heart drops even more. It's a pink converse, the same size as Ivy's, and the white toes and sides are covered with a bloody handprint. Carol notices it and looks at me with such devastation it could rival one of those paintings in museums. I'm about to check the inside to see if Ivy's initials are on the sole when the leaves rustle and I'm dropping the converse and spinning with my crossbow up and ready to shoot.
The most gorgeous woman I've ever seen is standing right in front of me, flaming hair and bright green eyes with a face full of freckles. She has her hands up in surrender.
"Mommy!" A little girl yells and then Carol's being tackled into the mud and she's sobbing out Sophia's name, cradling her daughter against her. I drop my crossbow so Ivy would know it's safe to run for me and she does. Oh, Christ, she does. I've got my baby girl in my arms again and she's sobbing and whining, and I think I'm crying too.
"Daddy." Ivy whines against my neck and I drop to my knees and hold her tighter.
"I've gotcha, Bambi." I don't let go of Ivy. Not even when we've both calmed down. I just stand up and pick her up with me, sitting her on my hip as both me and Carol turn to look at the woman who was with our daughters. Oh. I'm in deep shit, and by the look on Carol's face, she's in deep shit, too.
Never guessed I'd be meeting my soulmate at the end of the world.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Vittoria's POV
Oh, fuck's sake, Ivy's dad is my soulmate and so is Sophia's mam. Never knew that would happen. They both stare at me for a good while, before Ivy's dad looks down at her.
"Bambi, you ain't missing a shoe?" She looks down at both of her feet before shaking her head. I cock my head and look around for the extra shoe he must have found. It's down by his feet, and it's a pink converse with a bloody handprint on it. Cara's only pair of shoes are pink converse, and she was wearing them when she ran off. Ivy's dad bends down to pick the shoe up and hands it to Ivy, but I'm frozen where I stand. Ivy looks inside at the sole and looks up at me.
"C.K." She says quietly and then Sophia is looking at me too.
"Like your sister's knife..." Sophia trails off. All of them are looking at me intently, and Ivy is holding the shoe out to me. I take it, and I barely notice my hand is shaking. She's right. The initials on the sole of the shoe are C.K, and in my handwriting.
"Your little sister?" Sophia's mam asks, holding onto her daughter tightly.
"Cara. She's nine, and she got spooked around the same time Ivy and Sophia did. I've been looking for her while helping those two get back to you guys." Sophia's mam and Ivy's dad look at each other, and the blonde woman and Korean guy are staring at me. The brunette woman looks busy worrying.
"What does she look like?" The Korean man asks. "I'm Glenn Rhee, by the way."
I nod, "Vittoria Kelly. She's got black hair, brown eyes. Her skin is tanned, and she was wearing jeans, her pink converse and a green shirt when she ran." Sophia's mam's face drops, and she immediately looks over to Ivy and her dad.
"Daryl," Sophia's mam whispers, and Ivy's dad looks pained as he slowly lowers Ivy to the floor.
"I need to put ya down for a minute, Bambi." He says and Ivy lets go of him as soon as her feet are on the floor.
He's digging around in his pocket and then pulling out a pink rag. He hands it to me, and I look at it confused.
"Open it." He says, picking Ivy back up. I do as he says, and at first, I don't know what I'm looking at. The bit of fabric inside the rag is soaked with dried blood, but I can see the green colour it used to be. I turn the fabric over, and my entire world crashes and burns. The design is the one that was on Cara's shirt. I snap my head up to look at the man.
"Where'd you find this?" I hear myself ask, and my voice is shaking, and I can feel that my hands are, too.
"I cut open a walker. To, uh, make sure it didn’t bite either Ivy or Sophia. Found that it in its stomach, bits of a heart, and, um, a piece of scalp. With... black hair attached to it." His words are breathed, like it physically pains him to say it.
My chest aches dully, and it's almost like being stabbed repeatedly in the lungs. I don't know how long I stand there looking at the bloodied piece of Cara's shirt in my hands, but my knees give out on me after some time, and I drop to the floor painfully. It was in its stomach. Pieces of her was in its stomach. Pieces of my little sister was in its stomach. God, I feel sick. It can't be real. She can't be gone, she couldn't have been eaten, she just couldn't have.
"Is that all that you found?" I ask quietly. I feel numb. Ivy's dad nods. "She might be out there, as a walker?" My voice is just as quiet as before, and I'm really happy no one is approaching me right now. Sophia's mam nods sadly, looking like she's on the verge of tears. I wonder if I look like I'm on the verge of tears.
"We'll help you look for her, so you can bury her." The blonde woman says, kneeling down next to me and wrapping an arm around my shoulders. The arm isn't as comforting as she thinks it is. It just feels heavy. "Okay? My name is Andrea." The blonde woman says, standing up and forcing me to my feet.
"Andrea, be careful with her." The brunette woman says, turning to look at us finally.
"We can't stay here, Lori." Andrea says, rubbing her hand down my back. I just arch away from it and move away from her altogether. Lori comes to stand next to me.
"We'll find her so you can bury her, Sweetie. Don't worry." She says, being careful to not touch me. "You said your name is Victoria?" Lori asks.
"Vittoria. There's no 'C'." Sophia says, still clutching to her mam.
"Sorry, Sweetie." Lori says, and after a few pitying looks that feel like they're burning through my fucking skin, we start walking again. My body goes on autopilot. I don't know what I'm supposed to do with myself now that I don't have to look after Cara. It had been the entire purpose of my life and now that her life has been stripped from her, my entire life's purpose has been stripped away from me. I then start thinking about our life before the world ended, and it's a slippery slope from there.
Georgia, 2008
I stand outside Cara's bedroom door as I listen to her rustle around in her room getting ready for bed, since she won't let me help. "You can do my hair now." She huffs and throws the door open. She's wearing one of mam's old shirts and fluffy pants and her hair is a curly mess like normal.
"
Okay," I mumble and follow her into her bedroom, standing behind her while she sits on the bed to brush her hair and put it into plaits for her to sleep in. When I'm done, she hurries me out of her room and slams the door behind me. I hear her flick her light off before I hear her climb into bed.
"I love you, Cara." I whisper through the door.
"Well, I hate you." She says back. I nod in defeat and walk off into the kitchen.
I honestly don't know where she got the attitude from, but it's been going on for nearly a year now. I lean against the bench with my head in my hands and just sigh. "I don’' know what to do, Mam." I whisper into the empty air. The absence of my mam's answer still hurts, even after seven years of her being dead. Without my little sister there to take up all my attention, I let myself cry silently, resting my forehead against the bench top.
Georgia, 2000
I'm sitting in my bedroom reading a book when my mam walks in, heavily pregnant and looking weak. I'm immediately up and helping her sit down on my too-small bed.
"Twig, I need you to promise me something," She says, holding my hand tightly in hers.
"What?" She shakes her head so her hair – the same colour as mine – isn't in her face anymore.
"This pregnancy will probably kill me." She starts and I open my mouth to protest, but she shushes me.
"It will. Birth and fertility problems run in my side of the family, Twig. I want you to promise me that no matter what happens to me, you'll protect and love your little sister, and keep her away from your father as much as you possibly can." I nod slowly, and she smiles sadly at me.
"I'm sorry that I had to ask this of you in the first place." I nod.
"I'm sorry that you married him." I say, and she gives me this tired look that says she's sorry she married him too.
My mother was right, the pregnancy did kill her. My father wasn't there, too busy getting drunk at home, but as soon as Cara was born, I was allowed into the delivery room. That little girl in my mother's arms was mine to look after now, my baby sister. Her chubby little face and her chubby little hands and feet was all it took for me to become enamoured with her. She was perfect, all red and warm and soft. That new born baby smell – as the nurses called it – was all I smelled when I held her for the first time. And then the heart monitor connected to my mother flatlined.
Present Time
I'm shaken out of my little trip down memory lane by someone grabbing my hand to drag me along. It's Lori, and she gives me this worried look like she doesn't know what I'm going to do with the news my little sister is dead and shuffling around like one of the mindless freaks who ate pieces of her. I shake my head and shake her hand out of mine and continue walking. All of Cara's stuff is all in my backpack, and it suddenly feels like the heaviest thing in the world. I failed my mother, and Cara. I couldn't protect her like I promised my mam, and I wasn't the best older sister I could've been like I promised Cara.
That night, on the nineteenth of September 2001, when Cara was born and I was small and thirteen and my mother was slipping away right before my eyes, my period came for the first time ever. The nurses had called it a bad time for it to happen, but I had found it fitting, and I still do. My mother's womanhood – her life, her flesh, her memories of her own girlhood – were slipping away, dying, and with it went my girlhood. No more pigtails, no more fluffy blankets, pillows or stuffed animals. My mother was passing womanhood onto me, the bloodied claw of femininity snatching away everything that made me innocent to the world, sinking its nails into my vulnerable flesh, another fruit ripe for picking. Another woman for my father to ruin, to maim and hurt and beat. Another fruit for him to bruise, to mold into his own design.
I stop thinking about my mother's death and instead look around for any signs a walker had been through where we were walking. But, for some reason, I'm expecting Cara to jump through the bushes and tell me she was there all along, that the fabric Ivy's dad had found in a walker's stomach was someone else's shirt, that the pink converse with the bloody handprint that I still have an extremely tight hold on wasn't hers despite the initials I had wrote into the sole with black sharpie. That the pieces of my sister inside the walker's stomach weren't there, that it was empty. I fool myself pretty good, I think, by the time we walk to where me, Sophia and Ivy had heard the gunshot, I've convinced myself that my little sister isn't dead and that she's still just missing, that I'm going to find her.
I think Ivy's dad has figured this out, too, because he comes up next to me with Ivy on his hip and tells me he'll do anything to help find her and Ivy nods at me from over his head. I give them both a small smile before looking away into the woods for signs Cara had come through here. The others are quiet as we walk, and I don't notice Andrea falling behind until she's screaming as a walker falls on her and tries to eat her. I'm somehow the closest to her, so I pull my knife and stab it in the back of the head and pull it away from the blonde before it can fall on her. She's breathing heavily but she nods at me when I ask if she's okay and accepts the hand I offer out to her to help her up.
A woman on a horse speeds past us to where the others had come running when they heard Andrea scream and stops near them. She's got brown hair and she's holding a baseball bat tightly in her hands as she says something to them. Me and Andrea jog closer to hear her.
"Lori? Lori Grimes?" She asks, and Lori moves closer to her.
"I'm Lori,"
The woman doesn't waste any time, "Rick sent me, you've got to come now!" She says and gestures to the back of her horse.
"What?" Lori asks, rightfully confused.
"There's been an accident, Carl's been shot." The woman says, and I wonder who Carl and Rick are. People that Lori knows, obviously.
"He's still alive, but you've got to come now." Lori looks apprehensive, but the woman isn't having any of it. "Rick needs you, now just come!" She shouts, attracting a walker from the side. No one notices it, but I do, so I slink off and take it down quietly.
I come back just as Lori drops her backpack and climbs on the horse. Ivy is whispering something into her dad's ear, and he seems okay with letting Lori go with this strange woman. "Rick said you have others on the highway? That big traffic snarl?" When Glenn nods, looking absolutely starstruck she continues urgently, "Backtrack to Fairburn Road, two miles down is our farm. You'll see the mailbox, the name's Greene, hyah!" And with that her and Lori are taking off on the horse. Andrea looks at me and at the blood coating my hands from both the walkers I just killed and cocks an eyebrow at me. I shrug and continue walking.
Daryl's POV
When we get back to the highway, I put Ivy down and her and Sophia both go say hi to Dale before climbing into the RV, presumably to get changed and for Ivy to grab Thumper. We tell Dale and T-Dog what happened, and Dale goes into a frenzy.
"Shot? What do ya mean shot?" He asks, holding his rifle.
"I don't know, Dale, I wasn't there." Glenn says, looking over at Vittoria who leans against a car looking down at the blood covered converse and green fabric in her hands. I know that she's been convincing herself that the remains we found inside that walker aren't her little sister's, and I feel inclined to let her do so. We need to find the little girl to bury her, anyway, but it might hurt her more in the end when we do find her.
"What's the deal with Gingey over there?" T-Dog asks, looking a bit sick.
"Mine and Daryl's soulmate." Carol says, looking over at Vittoria, too, with an extremely concerned expression.
"You know the walker we cut open? The one that had ate a kid as its last meal?" Dale and T-Dog both nod, and Dale looks a bit scared to see what I'm going to say. "It ate her little sister. I gave her the ripped shirt, and we found one of the kid's shoes, but she spent the entire walk back here convincing herself that her kid sister's not dead, so if we could keep that bit quiet it would do her wonders. We need to find the little girl to bury her, anyway."
Dale looks horrified. He sends Vittoria a sad look. We decide to stay at the highway for tonight, just in case Vittoria's little sister comes wandering up onto the road, and Carol suggests rigging a big sign for her, to keep up the illusion that we think she's still alive, too. We tell Ivy and Sophia about not breaking Vittoria's bubble of convincing herself that her sister's still alive and they agree.
Glenn offers to stay behind with us, but Dale shoots him down, saying, "Not you, Glenn, you're going. Take Carol's Cherokee." Glenn huffs.
"Me? Why is it always me?"
"You have to find this farm, reconnect with our people and see what's going on. And, most important, you have to get T-Dog there, this is not an option. That cut has gone from bad to worse, he has a very serious blood infection. Get him to that farm. See if they have any antibiotics, because if not, T-Dog will die, no joke." No one thought T-Dog dying was a joke, but I think this entire situation is. Why'd no one tell me? Everyone knew Merle was a drug dealer and probably had something to stop that from happening.
I grab Merle's stash from my motorcycle and a rag that had been put there and slam them down on the trunk of a car, causing Vittoria to startle. She was leaning against the car I slammed the stash down on and I give her an apologetic twitch of my lips before digging around in the bag.
"Why'd you wait 'till now to say somethin'? Crystal, X, don' need that. Got some kick-ass painkillers." I throw those over to Glenn and he catches them as I continue digging. "Oxycycline." I throw it over to Dale, "Not the generic stuff, neither. It's first class. Merle got the clap on occasion." I see Vittoria grimace from where she's digging around in her bag. She comes up holding three large, see-through bottles full to the brim with pills.
"Codeine, Ibuprofen and Paracetamol. Me and Cara get frequent headaches, and I get phantom pains in my hips." She tosses them over to Dale and he catches them. I don't think any of us know what 'Paracetamol' is, but it's definitely a painkiller.
"Paracetamol?" Andrea asks, and Vittoria seems to remember something.
"Sorry, I'm British, so I call it Paracetamol. You Americans call it Acetaminophen." She says, and Dale nods.
"Thank you, Vittoria." She nods.
Glenn takes T-Dog to the farm in Carol's Cherokee, and we all introduce ourselves properly to Vittoria. She seems to get along with Dale, and she definitely won Ivy and Sophia's vote.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Ivy's POV When we go to bed, Daddy doesn't let me out of his sight. He clutches me close to his chest and doesn't let me go, not even when he falls asleep. I cling to him even tighter. If it wasn't for Vittoria – who knew the pretty woman who saved me and Sophia would be our parents' soulmate – we might've never found our way back to our people. We might've been eaten by walkers and never found, like Vittoria's little sister, Cara. Both me and Sophia feel a bit guilty, if Vittoria hadn't of needed to take us with her, she might've been able to find her little sister before she became walker food. The desperate look of grief on Vittoria's face when Daddy had passed her the ripped piece of her little sister's shirt had upset me, and I still feel a bit sorry for her, considering she's convinced herself that her little sister is still alive and not a walker. It's kind of like when we left Jim on the side of the road, all weak and pale and sick. Everyone had really thought that he would make it to the CDC, that he wouldn't turn into a walker if we just got him to the CDC for a cure, and in the end there wasn't even a cure to begin with, just a doctor with a weird obsession with wanting to die and take everyone down with him. He took Jacqui with him. He nearly took Andrea and Dale with him, too. When we all wake up, Daddy, Carol and Dale all help Vittoria to rig a sign for her little sister. 'Cara, stay here, we'll come every day', and we leave a little bit of our supplies on the hood of the car, too. Me and Sophia look on from inside the RV and wait patiently. When they're done, Daddy is climbing onto Uncle Merle's motorcycle and helping Vittoria onto the back as everyone else gets into their respective cars to drive them all down to the farm that the woman on the horse told us about yesterday as Daddy leads the way on the motorcycle. When we get there, Shane and Rick are waiting there patiently. Both of them look very confused when they see Vittoria but they both light up when they see me and Sophia climb out of the RV. Shane looks weird, now. His hair is all gone and he's bald now, wearing clothes that look way too big on him. "Who's the girl?" Shane asks, sounding a bit mean if you ask me. "Mine and Carol's soulmate, she found Bambi and Sophia." Daddy says, telling me and Sophia to go see Dale and Vittoria while he talks to Shane and Rick. Dale is asking Vittoria questions when we go over to them and Vittoria smiles when she sees us. "Hi, you two." She says, looking happy that she doesn't have to answer Dale's questions anymore. "Hi, Vittoria." Sophia says, her smile a lot bigger and brighter than it had been back in the camp just outside of Atlanta. I guess she can be a lot more happy when her dad isn't around anymore. That makes me hate Ed Peletier a lot more, for some reason. My friend shouldn't have had to dampen her feelings just because her dad was a bad man. No one should. "One last question and then I'll get out of your hair; what is your accent? It's been bothering me that I don't know what it's called." Dale says, and me and Sophia giggle because he just can't help himself. He was the first person to ask everyone questions when we first camped together up outside of Atlanta. Vittoria just smiles at him instead of getting annoyed. "It's Geordie. It's British, from Newcastle." Vittoria says, but there's still a little twang of something in her accent that I don't know, and I think Dale doesn't know either. "You've got a subtle twang of something, though, yes?" Dale asks, even though he said he only had one more question. "Italian, probably. I can't really tell these days, not a lot of talking when it's just you and your little sister in the woods running away from walkers. Anyway, my mam was Geordie, and my dad was Italian." Dale nods slowly, "Interesting." Dale mumbles, walking off back into the RV. "Strange character, in’t he?" Vittoria says and places her hands on her hips gently, like they're hurting her. She doesn't look like she's in pain, though. "He's odd, but nice." Sophia says, holding her dolly close to her chest. "Yeah, like someone's grandad, huh?" Vittoria jokes, sitting down criss-cross-applesauce in the grass. Sophia giggles and follows her down, and I do too. Daryl's POV Both Shane and Rick give me concerned stares as I watch until Ivy and Sophia are out of hearing distance. When they are, I turn back to the two former cops. "That walker we cut open? The kid it had ate?" I start, not wanting to sugar-coat anything. Rick nods slowly but Shane doesn't peel his eyes away from the ginger woman talking with Dale, Ivy and Sophia. "It was her little sister. We're going to try and find her, to bury her. But she spent the entire walk back to the highway convincin' hersel' that it wasn't her little sister." Rick's face drops as he stares at Vittoria, but Shane doesn't show any emotion other than wariness. "She ain't lyin', if tha's what yer thinkin'," I say, looking at Shane. "We found the kid's shoe, too. I thought it was Bambi's, but the initials were C.K. Her little sister's name is Cara, and their last name is Kelly." Shane looks at me like I'm the one that's currently in the wrong, but I got no idea what he thinks I've done. "She's your soulmate, Daryl? And Carol's too?" Rick asks, looking at me. I nod, and he seems set on whatever decision he's come to. "Then she's stayin'. No doubt. Plus, she saved Ivy and Sophia." Rick says, looking at Shane. To be honest, I don't know why Shane is so hesitant to let Vittoria into our little group. We're stronger in numbers, and she's like ninety-five pounds soaking wet with her thin arms and just overall twig-looking body. She's survived this long with only her and her little sister, though, so we got to give her the benefit of the doubt. Carol's already cried and cried to Vittoria, thanking her for bringing her baby-girl back to her, but I haven't said a word to her. Not because I don't want to, but because I don't know what to say. I owe her a life debt for bringing my girl back to me, but I don't think you can just outright say that to a person, even if they're your soulmate. I leave Shane and Rick and walk over to Ivy, Sophia and Vittoria, crouching down behind Ivy to see what they're doing. Vittoria is showing them her tattoos on her arms. Two little turtles following after one another, with names written on the shells. To her credit, Vittoria doesn't blink at the addition of me and just points to the bigger turtle. "I got this one as soon as I was old enough, in honour of my mam. Her name's written on the shell, see?" Ivy and Sophia nod in interest and I spot the name on the smaller turtle. Cara . God, this is gonna hurt something awful when we eventually find her little sister's corpse, shuffling around someplace with chunks missing out of her chest and scalp. I don't want to know what her reaction will be like. T-Dog and Glenn end up coming over too, to help us set up our little camp in these people's front yard. Vittoria keeps Sophia and Ivy distracted by letting them colour in her tattoos, which she has a lot more of than I noticed. They colour in her little turtles, and the little flower vines going all the way up her arms and the other little ones she has dotted around on her body. It keeps them occupied and the skin-safe markers they're using from Vittoria's backpack tells us that Cara must have done it a lot too. For some reason, the thought of it makes my heart ache. When Ivy was littler, she used to ask, all excited, if she could colour my tattoos. Merle would scoff and laugh at the immediate answer of 'yes' and call me soft, but of course I was soft for her. She's my baby girl, she's half of me and half of her momma, but I was her main protector, her mother wouldn't do it, so it was up to me and Merle and to give her all the love she deserved. I find myself wondering what Vittoria and Cara's relationship with each other was. Was it like mine and Merle's? Like Rick and Shane's? Or like the newfound friendship between Ivy and Sophia? I don't think I'd ever know, she doesn't seem the type to just spew her entire life story out to all of her new friends when she first meets them. Even if two of them were her soulmates. By the time we've all finished putting up our camp, Rick and Lori are walking over to us with Shane trailing behind them. Rick looks really weak, a far-cry from the strong and leader-type man from yesterday. "Carl's gon' be fine, just have to keep supplying him with blood until he wakes up on his own." Lori says, crouching down to hug Ivy and Sophia since she didn’t get to when they ran into us in the woods. Ivy shies away from her and climbs up into my lap. I let her curl into my chest. "You can't keep being the one to give blood, though, right Rick? You've lost too much already." Dale points out, sitting in his little camping chair. "That's what we were going to ask. I know it's a lot, but does anyone have A+ blood?" Lori asks, and everyone shakes their heads. "I have O-neg. You can give that to anyone." Vittoria says, standing up. "You'd give it to him?" Rick asks, looking shocked. "He's a kid, right? No kid deserves to be in his position." Vittoria says, and I think everyone can tell that she isn't lying when she tells us her beliefs. Rick stumbles over to her to hug her and she reluctantly hugs him back, which reminds me of Ivy's hatred of hugs from people that she doesn't know. She used to love hugs, from anyone. "Thank you, so, so much. You'd be saving our boy. Herschel just needs a little bit more for tonight, but he'd need more for the days to come. Are you sure?" Rick says, moving back from her. Vittoria nods, and then Shane is telling Rick and Lori to sit down and that he'd take Vittoria up to the house. She lets him drag her away to the house, barely complaining about the white-knuckled grip he has on her arm. "She's a nice girl." Dale says. Andrea nods from where she's sat next to him. "She's good with kids, too." Carol says, cuddling with Sophia on her chair. "She's good at surviving too. It's just been her and her little sister since the world ended, she's been running on not-enough sleep for a long time." Ivy says, cuddling further into my chest. "Strong, sturdy. Reliable." Lori says. "She stayin' then?" T-Dog asks, already looking excited. I guess because she's around his age. "Of course she is." Sophia says, a rare burst of sass from the normally meek girl. Ivy nods her head in agreement. "The verdict's in then," Dale laughs. Vittoria's POV The bald guy drags me all the way up to the house and sits me down harshly on the chair in front of an old man. "Who's this?" The old man asks, getting stuff ready to take my blood. "My name's Vittoria. I've got O-Neg blood, offered to give it to the little boy. Carl, right?" I say, holding my arm out for the old man. He takes it gently, wiping the skin down before sticking a needle in my vein. "Yeah, his name's Carl." The bald guy says, pacing around the space like he's a trapped animal. Guy must be paranoid, thinking that I'm dangerous or something. I don't see how, I'm skinny as fuck and only five-foot-one, curse my mother's genes. "My name's Herschel, that's Shane. It's a good thing you're doing, giving the little boy your blood." I nod and watch as my blood slowly leaves my veins. "You're willing to come back here tomorrow? I’m not entirely sure how much blood the boy will need to replenish his own, but it needs to be ready for if he does need it." I nod at Herschel's question, and he hums. When he's finished, Shane grabs me by the arm and drags me out of the house again. I get sick of it when we're just in earshot of the group who are sat around a campfire now. I pull my arm out of his grasp and spin him around in the process. "I can walk just fine on my own, you bald-headed bastard. Stop dragging me around or I'll fucking spin ya jaw." He looks extremely angry at the fact I just swore at him and had the audacity to talk back to him, but I don't care. I walk back to the rest of the group and Lori has a badly concealed smile on her face. I sit down on the grass in between Daryl and Carol. Carol gives me an amused smile and Sophia waves at me. I smile back at them both and return Sophia's wave. "Do you have a tent?" Rick asks, sitting with his wife. I shake my head, "Me and Cara were always on the move, and I always just had her climb a tree and I'd tie her to the branch to make sure she didn't fall out while she slept." "That's how you knew it would work when we were out there with you." Ivy says, clutching at her dad. I nod at her. "You'd sit awake down on the floor?" Lori asks, and I nod at her. "Why couldn't you sleep in a tree with her? It would be out of reach of walkers." Lori says. "It's not just walkers you have to look out for, y'know? With no government or law, people can do whatever they want to. I wasn't about to let my little sister be hurt by people who think their actions won't have consequences just because the world has ended." I say, and Shane looks at me weirdly from where he's standing next to Rick. "You can share with me," Andrea says, "It's a two-person tent." I nod, "Thank you." She nods at me with a smile. We all laugh and smile around the campfire until Lori and Rick go up to the house to check on their boy. "Well," Dale says, standing up, "It's past my bedtime. Goodnight, all." He says, waving as he goes up to his RV. "I'm going too," Andrea says, turning to face me. "You coming?" I nod and grab my backpack from where I dropped it on the floor earlier and follow her to where she's set up her tent. When I've put my things where she told me I can put them and I'm sat down on the sleeping bag she's given me, she gives me a pitying look. "We'll find her, you know? Daryl's a hunter." She says. I nod at her. "I lost my little sister, too." Andrea says, and then I remember the bloodied piece of Cara's shirt. She's not alive anymore, I know that. I can't convince myself she's still alive, it's only going to get people hurt. "To walkers?" I ask. She nods. "I stayed with her until she died, and stayed with her until she turned. I was the one who killed her." "I've stopped convincing myself that she's still alive. There's no way she could be, and it's going to be a lot harder to find a walker than it would be to find a live person. You and your group don't have to look for her, I will. She was my responsibility in the first place, and I couldn't protect her. It's my job, not yours." I tell her, and her face twists. "You're a nice girl, Vittoria. We're going to still help you look for her. To repay you for finding Sophia and Ivy." Andrea says, putting a hand on my shoulder. I nod, and she leaves it. She turns over into her sleeping bag and goes to sleep. I do the same, except I don't go to sleep as quickly as she did. I cry silently first, clutching the bloodied piece of Cara's shirt in my hands. It used to be my mother's and then mine, a hand-me-down through three generations of little girls. The teddy bear that she had deemed her favourite, too. My mother's, then mine, then Cara's. Three generations of little girls with hearts too big for their bodies. Little girls doomed to a life with a predatory man, little girls doomed to be ruined and broken. The sleep I fall into is restless, but it's the most sleep I've gotten since I was thirteen, just before Cara was born.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Ivy's POV When we go to sleep, Carol and Sophia stay in mine and Daddy's tent because me and Sophia want to stay together, but Daddy wants to stay with me and Carol wants to stay with Sophia, so we come to a 'compromise'. Me and Daddy sleep curled up with each other like we do anyway, but this time Carol and Sophia sleep in the other sleeping bag that used to belong to my Uncle Merle. We hear Andrea and Vittoria talking, but it's all mumbles and we can't make them out, so we just go to sleep. When we wake up, somehow me and Sophia have managed to climb out of our parents' holds and curled up together in the middle of the tent with a blanket draped over us. When I twist to look around the tent, I see that Daddy and Carol are both gone. I shake Sophia awake and we both get dressed, facing different sides of the tent. When we climb out of the tent, everyone is bustling around and doing something. Daddy is already skinning some squirrels, Carol and Andrea are doing laundry, Lori is busy power-walking her way up to the house with Vittoria following her, and Rick somewhere with Shane, or at least that's what Dale tells us from his perch on top of the RV on watch. Glenn and T-Dog are both trying to find something to do, but because T-Dog's got an infection in his arm and Glenn is supposed to be looking out for him, no one is letting them do anything and they just have to sit down. Me and Sophia go and sit with Daddy while he skins squirrels, and he even passes one to me, so I don't have to just sit there and do nothing. Sophia looks around, likely bored, so I ask if she wants to know how to skin animals, and she nods and says that there's nothing better to do. I teach Sophia how to skin animals while Daddy looks over us and keeps me correct, because sometimes I forget what I'm doing and just sit there silently, trying to remember what on Earth I was doing. By the time all the squirrels and bunnies that Daddy got are skinned, Vittoria is coming back, rubbing her arm like it aches, and I remember that she's giving blood to Carl so he can replenish his own quickly, and figure that's why her arm hurts. She waves at us with a bright grin, and we wave back, also smiling. She walks over to Glenn and T-Dog and talks to them, and soon Glenn is getting up and diving into the RV in search of something, probably happy to be doing something other than just sitting around. He comes out of the RV holding three pill bottles and hands them all to Vittoria and she nods at him, sitting down by T-Dog's feet to pop open two of the bottles. She takes two out of each bottle and swallows them dry before screwing the lids shut. T-Dog and Glenn look at her concerned, but she waves them off and walks into the tent she and Andrea share now to probably put the bottles in her bag. She needs them to get through the day, probably, without her hips hurting her. I wonder what happened. Daddy gets up and walks over to Glenn and T-Dog and waits for Vittoria with his crossbow slung across his shoulders. "I guess he's gonna ask if Vittoria wants to look for Cara with him," Sophia says, and I nod. My daddy's good like that. When she gets back, she gives him a smile and nods at whatever he asked, probably what Sophia said he would do. Then they're going off into the woods after telling Glenn and T-Dog something. Probably that they're going off. Lori comes out of the house and comes down to the rest of the group. "You girls want to come see Carl?" She asks with a big smile on her face, "He's asking if you're alright and back safe." I look at Sophia and we both smile and nod. She looks at Carol and the older woman nods happily, and Lori leads us up to the house to see Carl. He's leaning against the headboard, pale and sickly looking, his bare chest covered by the blanket on the bed and his dad's hat on his head. He lights up when he sees us and tries to sit up normally, but Rick puts a hand on his shoulder to keep him down. He looks at his dad sheepishly. "You're back! And safe." He says, looking really happy. We nod and Lori lets us sit on the edge of the bed to talk to him. We talk to him for a while, telling him about Vittoria and the woods. He tells us about the deer he had seen right before he got shot and how pretty it was. I don't tell him that I've seen plenty of deer in my life because my daddy's a hunter, and I also don't tell him that I know what the insides of a deer look like, for the same reason. Then the old man, Herschel, comes in and tells us to let him rest. We walk out of the house and go to pester Carol, who looks like she doesn't really mind it. Daryl's POV When me and Vittoria get into the woods, she asks if we can go by the highway. I tell her yes and she smiles sadly at me as I change directions and lead us to the highway. When we get there, she moves up to the sign we left for her little sister. "I know she's dead. I just... just needed some time to process it. I'm sorry for wasting time and resources." Vittoria says, turning to look at me briefly before turning to look back at the white writing on the car window. "You didn't waste nothin'." I tell her, clutching my crossbow tightly. That could be me right now. Me, grieving my little girl. "I can't thank ya enough." I say quietly, and she looks at me, holding a tin of beans. "You brought my baby-girl back t'me. I don' know what I'd do if I lost her. Thank you." She nods at me with a smile. "I did what I thought was right. No kid deserves to be left alone in this world. I had just hoped someone would have done the same for Cara." I look at her as she starts packing the supplies on the car bonnet into her backpack. "I would've. We all would've. If she had come to us." I say. When she turns to look at me, there's tears in her eyes but she seems to be fighting them off. "Her last words to me were that she hated me, and that she never wanted to see me again. I guess she got her wish." She says, sniffing. "We should loot some more cars," Vittoria says, changing the subject. I nod, even though we're supposed to be trying to find her little sister, but I guess she just needs a little more time and a little distraction. Looting cars could do that, give her a distraction. We loot the cars that have dead people in them, because everyone steered clear of them when we were up here, in case they weren't dead and were walkers. We find a few more cans of food, blankets, torches, I manage to get a few more bolts, and a mini crossbow, smaller than mine and made for a woman or a little girl probably. I could teach Ivy how to use it. But there's no bolts that would fit it, so I'd have to make them, through trial and error. I can only make bolts for my crossbow confidently, but I'd try for Ivy. Vittoria exclaims excitedly when she finds three swords in the boot of a car. "You know how to use 'em?" I ask, taking one from her. It's thin and it has a pink and green handle, and it's not a toy one either, proper metal, and leather hilts. Neither are the other two. "Yeah, my mam taught me before she died, taught me how to hunt, too, though I'm not as good as you." She says, twisting the biggest sword in her hand like it's the best thing she's ever seen. She seems a natural with it. "Were ya good?" She nods at me, hooking the biggest sword over her shoulder in its holster. "Two other swords, could teach Ivy and one of the other kids?" She asks, looking at me expectantly. "I ain't complainin'. Was gonna teach Bambi to use a crossbow, but a sword would be handy, too. Bet Carol wouldn't say no to you teaching Sophia, either." She nods and slings the other two swords over her shoulder in their matching holsters. We make our way back down into the woods and begin our search for Vittoria's little sister. We don't get very far until Vittoria's tripping over something and looking back to see what it was. It's a brown and what's-supposed-to-be-white teddy bear with a pink bow around its neck. "Cara's." Vittoria says, bending down to pick it up. She lets me take it from her and I look at the tag on the leg of it. Nicholina Kelly , in another person's handwriting. "It was my mam's, then mine, then Cara's. Like the shirt she was wearing." Vittoria explains, taking it back gently and putting it in her backpack. A few steps away is another pink converse, this one a lot more bloody than the other one. "Y'okay?" I ask, looking at her as she sinks to her knees next to the shoe in the dirt. "She was just a baby." Vittoria mumbles, holding the shoe like it's something precious. To her, it probably isn't anymore. "All alone and scared. She got bit and she died and she was alone . No one was there to hold her as she took her last breath, no one was there to hold her. I should've been there. She would've been so scared." I don't interrupt her as she sits and stares blankly at the pink converse, and I think I would have been the exact same way if all the signs pointed to my little girl being dead. Like I said to Vittoria, I genuinely don't know what I'd do if Ivy died to a walker bite. Like Jim, Amy, all the other people in our original camp that died, Cara . Maybe Merle, too. But he's probably living with a bunch of assholes like him. I think I'd kill myself. If my baby-girl isn't in the world, I don't think I would want to be, either. I wouldn't be able to handle it. I don't know how Vittoria's handling it to be honest. Speaking of Vittoria, she's still kneeling on the ground, looking into the bushes. "Wha' is it?" I ask, raising my crossbow and stepping towards her. "Is that a hand?" She asks, slowly getting up and moving towards the bushes. She picks up a hand, a small one and she immediately drops it with a gag. "That's Cara's, too." She whimpers, moving away from it. I kneel down next to it with a heavy heart and look for anything that could tell Vittoria that it was her little sister's. "The birthmark, on the pinky finger. She said it looked like a turtle, it was why her favourite animal was turtles." Vittoria says, sounding out of breath as she paces around behind me. The wrist on the hand is mangled to shit, all gnarled flesh and sharp bone snapped in half. She must've lost it when she was a walker, shuffling around the woods, got it stuck in something and just continued walking until it just snapped off at the wrist. "You wanta take it or somethin'?" I ask. I had taken Merle's hand, only to bury it. "Bury it here, where it fell." She says and gets to digging a hole with her hands. It's done in about five seconds, and she gently lowers the hand into the hole before covering it up. "We going back now?" Vittoria asks quietly after standing up. I nod silently. We walk in silence, too. We get back to camp just before it gets dark, and Lori is immediately taking one look at Vittoria and then she's grabbing her and pulling her into a hug. Unlike the hug Rick gave her, Vittoria actually accepts this one and doesn't shy away from it. Lori takes the backpack gently from Vittoria's shoulders and leads her to the fire as I walk behind them. I put everything I collected on the table in the RV and Dale gives me a nod and a short glance over his reading glasses from where he's trying to pick out a poetry book to read to the kids tonight. "Thank you, son." I nod at him. "Bambi likes Sylvia Plath, by the way. If you have anything o'hers. Don' know where she found the woman, but if she's reading that's good enough for me." I say before walking out of the RV to put my crossbow into mine and Ivy's tent. Neither her nor Thumper are in there, so I guess they're together. I put everything down and go out to sit near the fire with everyone else. Dale has a poetry book in his hands and he's reading to Ivy and Sophia who are sitting down in the grass in their pyjamas, their respective stuffies in their laps. Vittoria is sitting on the floor next to Dale's camping chair and leaning her head against the arm of it, her eyes closed and her hands clutching tightly to the teddy bear we had found earlier. Dale looks happy enough for her to be sitting there, so I sit next to Carol just behind our girls. "Vittoria offered to teach Sophia how to use the swords she brought back." Carol says, holding onto her cross necklace. "I said yes for her to teach Bambi. I'm gon' teach her how to use the other crossbow I brought back, too. Can never be too careful now." I tell her. "I said yes, too. Sophia wants to learn how to shoot a gun, too. I said yes to that, as well." I nod slowly. "I taught Bambi ages ago. You got to know how to shoot in a family full of hunters. She never had to touch a gun afterwards, but it pays to know how." Carol nods at me with a small smile on her face. Dale finishes reading the poem he was reading just as Ivy yawns, waking Vittoria up. She says goodnight to everyone and retreats to the tent she and Andrea share now. I grunt as I stand up and scoop Ivy up, swinging her up onto my hip and she squeals with a short laugh. I smile and she says goodnight to Sophia and Carol and everyone else afterwards with a tired grin. She never used to smile or laugh this much when she was with other people, she only ever acted like a normal eight-year-old with me and Merle. It's nice to see your little girl all happy and smiley like she should be. She curls up small against my chest with Thumper pressed into both of us and I lay a heavy hand on the back of her neck, swiping my thumb across the little baby hairs there. "Found a crossbow more your size. Wanta learn?" I ask, disturbing the peaceful quiet we had going on. She immediately shoots up with a bright smile and nods her head so fast I'm half scared she's going dizzy. "Yeah!" I nod with a small smile and pull her back down. "Alrigh'. Go to sleep, Bambi, I'll teach you tomorrow." She nods, suddenly all sleepy, and then she's out like a light. I stay up the entire night, just feeling the comfortable weight of my baby-girl on my chest, stroking a hand up and down her back. Vittoria's POV Andrea immediately knows something is wrong, and she corners me in our tent. "You find her?" I shake my head and hold out the teddy bear for her. She takes it with a sad look on her face. "It was my mam's, then mine, then hers. Like the shirt she was wearing." I say again, curling up with my chin on my knees. "We found her hand, too. All mangled and the bone was snapped. I doubt we're going to be able to find her, it'd be almost impossible." Andrea looks at me sternly. "We'll keep looking until we find her. You deserve to be able to bury her." I nod, slowly and shakily. "She hated me." I say quietly. Andrea sits next to me. "She may have, but you loved her. That's enough." She says, and then I'm sobbing. My baby sister is dead and she's never coming back and the last words she ever said to me were that she hated me and never wanted to see me again. I hadn't expected the anger I had felt at those words, the pure, unbridled rage. It felt bad, and the guilt set in almost immediately. She's never coming back.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Ivy’s POV The next day, Daddy's already awake and looking down at me when I wake up and he rolls over so I'm under him and crushes me under his weight. I squeal and giggle as he digs his fingers into my ribs and sides, tickling me mercilessly. He stops after a few minutes of me giggling and squealing and begging for him to stop and when he lifts himself away from me, I'm out of breath and have to just lay there for a minute, breathing and letting out little giggles still. "I'm going out to look for Cara later, so we'll go and get you situated with your crossbow this morning, huh? And then while I'm gone, Vittoria is gon' teach ya how to use a sword." Daddy says, jabbing a finger into my side causing me to curl up and squeal again. He lets out a little chuckle at my breathy "Yeah," and picks me up from the floor. He sits me down in his lap and just hugs me, holding me tightly with a hand on the back of my neck. "I love you, Daddy." I tell him and he just holds me tighter. "I love you, too, Bambi. More than ya could ever know, Baby." He says back, pressing a kiss to my ear. I press a kiss against his cheek, and he lets me go, and we just stare at each other for a few minutes before he pats me on the back and helps me get ready for the day. I don't get a dress today, because we're going in the woods, and he picks out a pair of jeans shorts and one of Uncle Merle's shirts that he tucks into the waistband of the shorts because I'd probably find a way to trip over the shirt at some point. It's warm and it still smells of Uncle Merle's cigarettes with a Metallica logo on the front. We come out of the tent and Daddy tells Rick that we're going to go teach me how to use a crossbow and Rick, who's already smiling, tells us it's okay and to get ourselves out. Daddy doesn't have any bolts for me yet, but he tells me that if I can bring back as many sticks as I can, he could make some for me. Today is him just teaching me how to hold it and aim it and load it. It doesn't take long until I've mastered it, and Daddy has nothing left to teach me for today, and then he leads us back to the farm and the camp, collecting sticks as we go. Vittoria is sitting next to Dale with Sophia next to her and both of the girls are holding onto a sword, but Vittoria has two currently, one big one and one small one. I walk over to them, and Vittoria happily hands me the smaller sword that she has in her hand. "You leave that crossbow with me tonight and I can whittle some bolts for you." Vittoria says, pointing at the sticks and smaller crossbow. "You wouldn't mind?" Daddy asks, holding the crossbow out for her. She takes it with a smile and a shrug. They both take the crossbow and sticks into Vittoria and Andrea's tent and come back and then Daddy announces that he's going out looking for Cara. Vittoria nods at him with a smile, but I don't think it's real. Why would she be smiling when someone is going out to look for the dead body of her little sister who probably meant a lot to her. And that dead body is shuffling around the woods, wearing Cara's clothes, looking around with Cara's eyes, growling and snarling with Cara's voice. I can't imagine what Vittoria's going through, but I don't think I want to know, either. I already went through that with Uncle Merle. Vittoria's a good teacher, she doesn't get mad at us when we get something wrong or mess something up, she just laughs and corrects us. T-Dog joins in at some point, getting Vittoria to teach him how to use a sword too and she just laughs with him, handing her sword over to him and making him do the beginner stuff we did earlier so we get to giggle at him every time he fails. The giggling gathers Glenn and Dale's attention, and the younger man is then picking up a long stick and getting Vittoria to teach him too. Dale just watches with a smile on his face as we all laugh and poke fun at each other while Vittoria tries to teach us how to use swords. "Am I as good as you, Pretty Girl?" T-Dog laughs after he drops the sword by accident. "Of course, Shnookums, such a good sword handler." Vittoria laughs, picking the sword up. Daryl's POV The woods are quiet today, for some reason. It usually means something bad's gon' happen. I wander around for a little while, following shuffled tracks until I realise that they're too big to be a little girl's and move on. And then, I come across a ravine. I stop and look around in it from a ledge, looking to see if there was any sign a walker had been anywhere near it and then a snake hisses from behind me and I step back onto it, startled. I spin and look around for it, forgetting I'm near a ledge, and then I'm toppling down into the ravine, and everything is going dark for a minute. When I open my eyes, my side is stinging something awful, and my crossbow is nowhere to be seen. I grunt and look down at my side. One of my own bolts is speared all the way through, missing any organs and just piercing skin, like a badly placed piercing. I groan and feel about my waist for my knife, pulling myself to sit up so I can slice the sleeves off of my shirt. I tie the pieces around my body, so I don't lose as much blood. I look around afterwards, trying to find a way out of the hole I'm in. The only way out is up. I pull myself up to standing and find a large stick to hold my weight up, determined to get out and get back to the group, and most importantly, my baby-girl. As soon as I move to start climbing, grunting in pain, the bushes around me rustle, telling me that something is coming out of them. Being unarmed against a walker is a death-sentence, so I give up on the climbing endeavour for now and use the stick I picked up for walking to dig around in the creek to find my crossbow. I find it after a few pokes around in the water and then turn around to face the bushes that rustled. Nothing is coming out of them, so I take up climbing again, using the stick to push myself up. My crossbow bumping against my back and hitting the bolt still stuck in my side is decidedly not helping, but I push through with a few grunts and groans of pain. Rocks slip under my foot, and I nearly go sliding down into the ravine again, but my tight grip on the root of a tree keeps me steady, although the stick goes tumbling back down. I give up on it and just continue going. The branch I grab onto to pull myself a little bit closer snaps, and then I'm tumbling back down into the ravine. Everything goes dark. Vittoria's POV I let the girls and all of the new tagalongs take a break after a while of goofing off and giggling. They sit and drink water for a few minutes and Dale keeps the two younger ones busy with a little story of something that he and his wife did a few years ago. Then Rick is coming down from the house with a grin on his face. "Havin' fun?" He asks, coming to stand with our group. Sophia and Ivy, still giggling at whatever the hell T-Dog is doing, nod happily. "Carl wants to meet you, Vittoria. You up for it?" I look at him and nod. He gestures for me to follow him, and I do, walking quietly into the house and up the stairs into the bedroom Carl's in. He's sitting down in bed with Lori in the chair next to him and, for after being shot? He looks good, healthy. "Hey, Kid." I say, stopping in the doorway. "Hi. Ivy and Sophia told me you were cool." Carl says, smiling at me. "Yeah? They told me you were pretty cool, too." He looks extremely happy at that. "Really?" I nod, "Yeah. I mean, getting shot and coming back like nothing happened? Real cool in my book, Kid." He beams at me, and Lori and Rick smile at me too. "I have to go continue teaching those doilems how to use a sword, you're welcome to join when you're able, Kid." He nods excitedly and Rick walks me out. "Thank you. For doing this for my boy." He says. I nod. "I would've done it for anyone. I just happen to have a soft spot for children." He nods. "Really. Thank you. I don't know what I'd have done if I couldn't save him." I turn and smile at him. "He's your pride and joy. Cara was mine, you're having your people look for her dead body. It's the least I could do." He looks at me sadly as I walk off, back to the little group I had left behind before. Shane intercepts me, because of course he does. "I don't trust anythin' you've got goin' on here." He says as soon as he grabs my arm to stop me. "I've got nowt going on, mate, I've got no clue what you're on about." I say, smiling at him tensely. I'm just trying to fit into this little group they've got, not my fault he's got trust issues. "I'm not so sure about that." He says. "You genuinely look like a bald version of Nanny Plum, pick your problem, man." I rip my arm out of his hold and have to hold back a laugh at his bewildered look as I walk away from him. Daryl's POV When I wake up, someone's ugly face is in mine. It's Merle's ugly face. Isn't he supposed to not be here? "Why don't you pull that arrow out, dummy? You could bind your wound better." He asks, his voice just as raspy as the last time I had seen him. "Merle..." I mumble, closing my eyes against the harsh sunlight. "What's goin' on here? You takin' a siesta or somethin'?" He asks, looking down at my blood and dirt covered body. "A shitty day, bro." I tell him, and he gives me a condescending look. "Like me to get ya a pillow? Maybe rub your feet?" Feet shuffle off to the side of my head, but it doesn't sound like walker feet, so someone else must be here with Merle. "Screw you," I mumble, turning my head away from him. I catch sight of small, pink converse covered feet and panic fills my body. What's Bambi doing here? The skin above the pink converse is tanned, too tanned to be Ivy's. Who else wears pink converse? Oh, shit. Cara. "Yer sister's real worried about ya, Cara." I say, forgetting that she's already dead and gone and that I won't be able to bring her back to Vittoria. "I know. I realised that after I'd gotten bit, but I'm much more worried about you, Mister. That looks nasty." Cara's accent isn't the same as Vittoria's, it's more American and there's a twang in there, like the accents of the Italian mob bosses in the movies Merle used to watch before the world went to shit. Dale did say that Vittoria's dad was Italian, right? "Ignore her. You're the one who's screwed, by the looks of it. All them years I spent tryin' ta make a man of you. This what I get? Look at you. Lying in the dirt like a used rubber. You gonna die out here, little brother. And for what?" Merle says, and I can see Cara give him a little dirty look. She looks awfully like Vittoria there, twisting her face at him. No wonder they're sisters. They may be polar opposites in looks, but they act a lot like each other. "A girl, that girl. Cara." I tell Merle and Cara sits down by my head, sitting criss-cross-applesauce. When I look at her this time, she looks more like how I thought she should look. Her pink converse are missing and her white socks are soaked in wet mud, there's a bite mark bitten out of the middle of her chest and blood slowly oozes out from in between her ribs and her black hair is messy and tattered and parts of her scalp is coming away. Her left hand is missing. "Ain't it more for the girl's older sister? The one that's already got you wrapped 'round her little finger? She tells you to jump, you ask how high?" Merle says and I scoff. "Shut up." "'Cause I noticed you ain't out looking for Ol' Merle no more." I crack my eyes open when I feel a hand on my head. It's Cara, she's using her only hand to check my head for any injuries. I let her get on with it. "Got Bambi to look after. Sorry, my daughter's my highest priority." "Liar. You're Rick's bitch now." I shake my head as best I can. "I ain't nobody's bitch." I tell him. "You're a joke, is what you are." "He ain't a joke." Cara says, standing up. Her socks squelch in the sand of the creek. "Don't talk back to me little girl, I'll smack the shit outta ya." Merle says, pointing his finger at her. "You can't, I'm already dead, Daddy Pig." Cara says, and I huff out a small laugh. "Whatever. One day, that group o'yers will scrape you off their heels like you was dogshit. They ain't yer kin." "Bambi is. She wants to stay with 'em. She's friends with Sophia." "Hell with what Wobbles wants, she's a kid, she ought to listen to ya, not tell ya what to do." Merle says. I shake my head. "She does listen, she ain't ever in trouble." "Now you listen here, little brother, ain't nobody gon' care 'bout you other than me and Wobbles," Merle says, and Cara's feet squelch in the sand again as she moves around near my head. "Vitty'd care. She would! She already does!" Cara says, kneeling down, looking into my eyes almost desperately. "Sure, whatever, get up on your feet, son." Merle says, rolling his eyes at the little girl. "Before I have to kick yer teeth in." Then he starts kicking at my feet while Cara tries to get him to stop. I blink, and then Merle isn't kicking at my feet no more, a walker's trying to bite through my shoe. I grunt and panic, using my other foot to boot the walker in the side of the head, scrambling for my crossbow. Before I can reach it, the walker's already up and climbing on top of me, pinning me down. I manage to land my hand on the stick I dropped before, and I use it to push the walker off of me, pinning it down and slamming it down into the walker's face until the skull is squishing and the brains are pooling out. The commotion obviously grabbed another walker's attention, so I do some quick thinking that Merle would probably be proud of, and pull the bolt in my side all the way out, groaning in pain and clenching my teeth. I struggle to load the bolt into my crossbow, but I get it done, and I manage to aim and fire the bolt straight into the other walker's head. I lay down on the sandy creek to catch my breath, but I just end up falling asleep again. When I wake up, there's no alive walkers this time, so I don't got to panic. I huff and then take off my outer vest and tuck it into the torniquet I had tied around my body before. Then I catch a squirrel, and since I can't make a fire down here, I just eat the guts raw. To camouflage me from the walkers, I cut off both walkers' ears and their noses and string them up on one of their shoelaces and put it round my neck. Then, comes the gruelling task of climbing out of this hellhole. I stop for a minute when I'm near the top, struggling to breathe. I look up when a bird squawks, and then Merle's grating voice is back. "Please, don't feed the birds." He looks down at me and laughs when I look away from him. "Wha's the matter, Darylina? That all you got in ya?" I ignore him in favour of pushing myself up a little. "Don't be mean, that's your brother." Cara says, somehow appearing next to Merle. "Shut up, little girl. Throw that purse away and climb." Merle says, and I huff and roll my eyes, but continue pushing myself up in small bits. "I liked it better when you was missing." I tell him and Cara lets out a small giggle, but it's more of a gurgle because of the hole in her chest. Merle laughs too, though he doesn't find it funny. "Come on, don't be like that. I'm on your side!" Merle insists. Even Cara doesn't find it believable. She scoffs at him and slowly stumbles her way down to where I'm still pushing myself up. "You can do it, Mister. You were strong enough to get this far, weren'tcha?" Cara says, looking down at me. I huff, giving her a small smile, even though I figure I'm just hallucinating her, since she's already dead and if I'd have found her, she'd be trying to eat my face off already. I don't even know why I'm hallucinating her, I never knew her, don't even know what she should look like, really. "Since when, Merle?" I ask, finding a branch to further pull myself up. "Hell, since the day you were born, baby brother. Somebody had to look after your worthless ass." Merle says and Cara huffs from where she's slowly following me up the cliff. "He ain't worthless! It sounds like you don't really want him climbing up!" I ignore both of them for the time being, slowly but surely getting myself up the cliff. "You never took care o'me." I tell Merle, still trying to get up the rest of the cliff. "You talk a big game, but you was never there. Hell, you ain't here now. Guess some things never change." I grunt. "Tell ya what, I'm about as real as your chupacabra." Merle says. "I know what I saw!" I snap and Cara glares at Merle. "And I'm sure them shrooms you ate ain't had nothin' to do with it, right?" Merle says and Cara huffs. "You'd best shut the hell up!" I shout at him, looking around for a branch to try and pull myself further with. "Or what?" Merle goads, shaking his shoulders. Cara twists her face slightly. "You can do it." She whispers. "You gonna come up here and shut my mouth for me?" Merle asks and Cara continues glaring at him. "Well, come on and do it, then! If you think you're man enough." Merle says and Cara is suddenly right next to him. "I'd say he's a lot more man than you are, Daddy Pig! At least he's doing somethin' productive!" She shouts at him. I don't know who Daddy Pig is, but Merle kind of suits the name, if I'm honest. Merle ignores Cara and continues goading me as she comes back down to be next to me. "Hey, kick off them damn high-heels and climb, son!" Merle says and Cara continues shuffling after me. "You can do it, there's not much further." She says. Merle continues laughing at me and Cara whispers encouraging little sentences to me, and then they're both disappearing when my hand reaches the ledge of the cliff and I manage to pull myself all the way up out of the ravine. There's a clothing tag stuck in a tree branch a few steps away from where I am, and I pick it up. Cara Kelly is written on it, and it seems to be a tag from a pair of jeans. I huff a small laugh and then I'm off, walking around and finding my way back to the farm. Ivy's POV Vittoria is teaching me, Sophia and T-Dog how to use swords again, but we're being a little more sensible this time, but we do get to giggle a little still. Glenn's inside the RV and Dale is doing something, but I don't know what, and Andrea is taking Dale's shift on watch on top of RV. She sometimes smiles down at us when we giggle for a little more than a minute, but she praises us on how good we're doing with swords. Vittoria gives her a wink and a thumbs-up and then continues to watch over us. I think Vittoria would have gotten along with Amy. And Jacqui. And she'd be able to bond with Jim over the people they've lost. And she would've protected Carol and Sophia from Ed because she's good like that, she's a good, kind person and I think she'd get along with everyone from the original camp, since she already gets along with most of what's left of the original camp. She's daddy’s soulmate, and Carol's too, and she's good with kids since she had a little sister. Her and T-Dog are already best friends, she's friendly with Rick, Lori and Glenn, and Dale looks at her like he looks at Andrea, like they're both people he wants to care for and wants to look after and make sure they're both never hurt. The same way my daddy looks at me. She's perfect for the group we've got left. We continue for a few more minutes and then Andrea's shouting that there's a walker and everyone's scrambling to attention. Vittoria and T-Dog usher me and Sophia behind them and into the camp and Carol takes us from them, putting a hand on our shoulders. "Just the one?" Rick asks, coming past us. Shane grabs a pickaxe and T-Dog grabs his gun and then Rick is chasing after them with his own gun in hand. Rick points his gun at the walker, but then he's dropping it. But then, Andrea fires the rifle she's got in her hands and the person goes down immediately. Vittoria gasps and holds a hand to the side of her head. Me, Sophia and Carol look at her a bit weirdly, but she doesn't seem to care and just climbs up onto the RV and snatches the rifle away from Andrea and hands it to Dale, who takes it without hesitation. Vittoria then grabs the binoculars, even though Andrea is asking her what the hell she's doing, and she's looking through the binoculars, towards where the men are scrambling around to get to the person Andrea had shot. Vittoria rips the binoculars away from her face and spins to look at Andrea. "Andrea, you need to learn to listen to what people say! Rick told you to put the gun down and now look what happened! The 'walker' you just shot, and missed by the way, was Daryl!" And then Vittoria is jumping from the top of the RV onto the grass and sprinting for the men with Andrea not that far behind her. Andrea shot Daddy? I'm fighting to get out of Carol's hold, then, and I manage to, slipping a little bit, and when I go to run past Dale, he grabs me around the waist and stops me from running to my daddy. "No! Let me go! Daddy!" I shout and struggle to get out of Dale's hold, but he's stronger than Carol, somehow, so he doesn't let go of me until the men struggle past with my daddy propped up in their arms. Even then, he still doesn't let me go, because he picks me up and hands me to Glenn who sets me on his hip and follows after Shane and Rick hurriedly. Everyone waits outside as Herschel lets Shane and Rick tow my daddy into the house and Maggie, one of Herschel's daughters, takes me from Glenn and sits me down in the kitchen, despite me fighting against it and telling everybody that I want my daddy. I sit at the kitchen table, crying quietly. Maggie sits next to me and rubs my arm and tells me my daddy's gon' be okay and she gives me some apple juice, but I'm too busy crying to drink it, even though apple juice is my one favourite drink in the world. Soon after, Herschel is coming down the stairs and telling me gently that it's okay to see my daddy, but I have to be careful with him. I nod, and then I'm racing up the stairs and into the room my daddy's in, holding Thumper in my hand. I don't know where he came from, someone had passed him into my hands a few minutes before Herschel had come down. "Daddy." I whine, climbing up onto the bed he's lying on. "Hi, Bambi, how's my girl doin'?" He asks, letting me bury my face into his side. "I'm good, but you got shot, Daddy. Are you okay?" He nods and runs his fingers through my loose hair, moving to press a kiss to the back of my head. "I've got you by my side, Bambi, how could I not be?" Daddy says.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Ivy's POV I stay with Daddy all day. I eat in the room with him and stay curled into his side until it's time for bed. Andrea comes in to apologise and Daddy tells her it's alright, but if she ever shoots him again, she'd better hope it kills him. We hear Vittoria shouting at Andrea outside, too, and Daddy laughs at some of the words she uses. I don’t get to stay with him for night time, though, Herschel comes in and says Daddy needs to rest by himself for the night and Carol offers a sleepover with her and Sophia. I agree, but I don't want Daddy to be lonely, so I leave Thumper with him and give him a kiss on the cheek before leaving with Carol and Sophia. I get dressed in my tent and then sneak into Carol and Sophia's tent and me and Sophia do each other's hair and Carol tells spooky stories and funny stories that have us giggling up until we have to go to sleep. Me and Sophia curl up with each other in her sleeping bag and Carol sleeps in her own sleeping bag. Me and Sophia wake up before Carol this time, so I wait for Sophia to get dressed and then we both walk over to mine and Daddy's tent so I can get ready, too. Carol is awake by the time I finish getting dressed and she starts doing laundry as soon as she's out of her tent. "Ivy, you can go see your dad now, if you want." Rick says, coming down from the house. I'm immediately running past him and into the house, passing by Maggie with a small wave and slowing down just before I enter the room. Daddy is sitting up in the bed getting his bandages changed and Thumper is sat next to him, so I climb up onto the bed and grab Thumper and wait patiently for Herschel to finish changing Daddy's bandages so I can hug him. Herschel finishes after a while and gives me a small smile as he walks out and tells Daddy to be careful with the stitches in his side and in his temple, whatever his temple is. When Herschel is out of the room, Daddy opens his arms for me, and I cuddle into his chest. He kisses me on the head and asks me how my sleepover with Sophia and Carol went. I tell him excitedly about the stories Carol had told us and the silly hairstyles me and Sophia had done, and he just listens, nodding along with whatever I tell him. I haven’t talked this much since before Uncle Merle went to jail for me, and even then, it was just me babbling and seeing how loud I could get and practising words to say and use. Daddy and Uncle Merle never really complained, not like Momma did. She was always telling me to be quiet and to not talk so much. Uncle Merle only ever told me to lower my voice a little, never to be fully quiet, Daddy did the same, but a lot less than Uncle Merle did. I got real quiet after Uncle Merle went to jail. I think I missed talking like this. Daddy tries to get up after a while and I tell him to be careful, but he just winks at me and stands up all on his own. "I ain't stayin' here until it heals, I'm stayin' in the tent whether they like it or not, Bambi." Daddy says, walking with a slight limp towards the door. I follow after him and hold his hand with Thumper held tightly in my other hand. He thanks Herschel for patching him up and letting him use the spare bedroom and Herschel nods at him and gives me a little smile as I wave at him while helping my Daddy down the porch steps. Daddy changes his clothes in the tent and then comes out, but he immediately gets sat down by Carol and handed a plate of scrambled eggs. He lets me climb onto his lap and he shares his eggs with me. I still don't like them, but they're growing on me. Glenn stands in the middle of the camp and starts talking. "Uh, guys, just wanted you to know. The barn's full of walkers." He says, and my tummy starts hurting. The barn's full of walkers? Why would it be full of walkers? Maybe they don't know how to get rid of them? Maybe they're scared of them? I know I was that night in Atlanta when I nearly became walker food, and when those two walkers were hot on mine and Sophia's trail and Rick had to run after us to save us. The next thing I know is that everyone is walking over to the barn and Daddy is holding me against his hip, even though I protest since he's probably hurting the stitches in his side. He assures me that he's holding me on the side that doesn't have stitches and it doesn't hurt him, so I give up and just let him carry me. Everyone argues for a while, voting on what we should do. T-Dog and Shane don't like the fact that there's walkers in what's become our backyard and want to open it up and kill every single walker inside of it, but Dale and Rick say that we can't and it's up to Herschel and his people what to do with the walkers in the barn since we're guests on the land. Dale says that Herschel thinks that the walkers are just sick and they're not really dead and like eating people, and he says that his wife and stepson are in the barn, and it all makes sense. He thinks that the walkers are just sick because his wife and stepson had caught the infection and died and are now like every other walker that I had seen, and he didn't want to believe that they had been turned into those disgusting monsters that attack people and eat the people you love until there's nothing left of what used to be your family. My tummy hurts when I think about that, and Uncle Merle, and Cara and Jim and Amy and everyone else that we've lost, so I try to not think about it. There's a difference between Vittoria and Herschel now. Vittoria told herself that her little sister wasn't dead and that she wasn't just shuffling around with milky eyes, missing parts of her body like ripped pieces of paper and she had believed herself until she could process it, and then she didn't believe herself anymore and accepted the fact her little sister is dead. But Herschel didn't, he just kept on saying that they're not dead, that they're sick and they're going to get better, and they'll come back, and everything will be normal again. He doesn't get it, not like Vittoria did and still does, not like we do, because we've seen people die like that and get eaten until they're nothing but bones and blood and a meal to the walkers, but they haven't seen that, they’ve only lost two people in their family. Shane accuses Dale of keeping secrets because he had talked to Herschel last night about it and Glenn only told us this morning, but Dale says that he thought we could survive one more night and we did, so he was right. Vittoria gets knocked out of the way by Shane when he storms past her, and she huffs. "Watch where you're going, Nanny Plum!" She shouts at his back and then Andrea is telling her to calm down, because Shane is coming back now. "You're going to want to watch that mouth o'yours, little girl." Shane tells her and Rick is immediately at his side and telling him to calm down. "Or what? Are you gonna hit me? Go on, I dare you, watch what happens. You don't scare me, and you can't just use aggression to get what you want all the time. You're a big boy, right? You should know this by now." Vittoria says, talking to him like he's a little boy and Shane gets in her face, bending his knees slightly to get closer. I never realised the height difference between them, but I guess Vittoria is small for her age. Vittoria doesn't flinch away from Shane, and I guess she was right when she said she wasn't scared of him. "That mouth o'yours is gon' get you killed one day, and you should be scared of me," Shane whispers, getting closer to her face but she still doesn't flinch away from him or move away. "I could put you on your ass in a second flat." Shane finishes. Rick tells him to quit it, but Vittoria just laughs mockingly at him. "I've dealt with men bigger, stronger and scarier than you, Nanny Plum. You. Do. Not. Scare. Me." She whispers and then she's walking away from him. Me, Daddy, Carol and Sophia watch her walk off and so does Rick, Dale, T-Dog and Glenn. Shane looks real angry at the fact she got the last word, and she was busy walking away from him. "You should've kept an eye on Cara, maybe she wouldn't be dead right now if you did!" He shouts after her and everyone stares shocked at him. Rick and Lori look disgusted at the fact he brought Cara into it and Daddy's arms shake from where he's still holding me up against his hip. He's angry. So is Vittoria, because she comes storming back with glassy eyes. She tackles him to the floor and immediately starts punching him, and I don't think I've ever seen Shane so shocked in all the time I've known him. She does a lot more damage than she should have been able to because of how skinny and small she is, but she had the element of surprise, so she managed to crack his cheekbone. No one pulls her off, but she stops after she hears the crack of his cheekbone. She's breathing heavily when she stops, and she's holding the collar of his shirt. Shane tries to get up, but she doesn't let him. "You ever – ever – bring my little sister into anything, ever again, I will not stop until you are dead. You are a hypocrite, if it was anyone else's kid out there, dead and shufflin' around with nothing of who they used to be left in them, you wouldn't be acting like this, would you? If it was Carl? You'd be all over the woods, trying to find him, so you can keep your big mouth shut, and never bring up anyone's dead family ever again, or so help me, you will end up in the dirt." After that, she lets him go and storms off. "She's right, Shane." Lori says, holding Carl against her side. Oh yeah, he was finally allowed to get out of bed today. Rick nods slowly. "You'd kill for my boy, and you'd never blame either me or Lori if he was lost somewhere. You're a hypocrite," Rick says, holding a hand out to help Shane up while Dale walks off in search of Vittoria. Daddy holds me tightly and Carol holds Sophia tightly against her body. None of us in camp had ever seen Shane be beaten by someone, he had beaten Ed Peletier, he had manhandled Jim, he had shot walkers, but he had never been beaten or hurt by someone else before. It was a shock to everyone that this skinny, short ginger girl who looked like she was sixteen when she was really twenty-two managed to be the first person who did it. "That was eventful." T-Dog says, voice dead. Glenn bursts out laughing. Vittoria's POV I sit behind the RV, trying to calm myself down and forcing myself to look away from the blood on my knuckles, both mine and Shane's. Dale finds me and he sits down next to me, holding his bucket hat in his hands. "I'm sorry that he brought her up." He says, looking the opposite direction from me. I hum, burying my face in my knees. "You said you had dealt with men worse than Shane." Dale says, looking over at me finally. I nod slowly, looking away from my knees and into the woods surrounding the farm. "Would you like for me to listen?" Dale asks, and I have to think about it. Nobody knew. Not even Cara. Nobody knew except from my mother and she's dead. Nobody knew, or suspected, that Francis Markson, my father, was an abusive piece of shit who beat his wife and oldest daughter to the point of snapping. He had started beating me as soon as I could physically handle it, at two, turning three soon after. All I knew growing up was my father's harsh, unforgiving fists that didn't care if you were a grown woman or a toddler. His hands wandered where they shouldn't have, on both me and my mother. My mother knew the risks of having children, the women on her side of the family don't do too well with pregnancies. She never wanted them. Kids. Francis Markson wanted a son. It was a damn shame that, when he raped his wife and she ended up pregnant, the baby was a girl. It was a shame that, after raping and impregnating his wife the second time, she died giving birth to another little girl. And it was like God was laughing in his face when his oldest daughter was found to be infertile because of his wandering hands. I don't think I could bare my father's atrocities to Dale. He's a sweet old man and he doesn’t deserve to know such filth could ever happen in the world he has so much hope for. But it hurts. To carry all this hurt inside my chest and to be all alone in knowing what a disgusting man my father was. "You can talk, I'll listen." Dale says. Instead of telling Dale about my father, I tell him about Cara. I tell him about how small she was, how soft and sweet smelling. I tell him about everything I gave up for her, how I dropped out of school at thirteen to be able to look after her full time, how I gave up on everything I wanted to be and could've been so I could look after her and care for her. I tell him that her first word wasn’t my name, but 'Mam' because she thought she was mine. I tell him about how she cried when I explained that she wasn't my daughter but my little sister, I tell him about how she started hating me for what I couldn't give her. I tell him about how much she longed to know her dad and also hated me for not letting her see him, for not letting him taint her the way he tainted me and my mother, obviously leaving out all the atrocities and only calling him neglectful. Dale listens to all of it. He doesn't interrupt once, and he doesn't say anything when tears roll down my cheeks. When I finish, the silence greets me. "You are a strong young lady, Vittoria. And I am proud to say that I know you now." Dale places a hand on my shoulder, and instead of it feeling heavy, or unwanted, it feels warm. Comforting. Like my mother's hugs and Cara's smiles. "Thank you." I tell him. He shakes his head. "No, thank you. For letting me know you." I nod, even though I don't really understand, and he offers me a hand to help me stand up. I take it, and he takes me around and into the RV. He sits me down and cleans up my knuckles and wipes my face for me. When we come out of the RV, Rick and Andrea are standing around a car bonnet with a map. "We're going looking for Cara." Andrea explains. I nod with a smile. "Rick?" He turns to look at me with an eyebrow raised. "I'm sorry for bringing Carl into the argument with Shane. It was wrong of me." He smiles at me, putting his gun in the waistband of his pants. "It's completely fine. You were right, anyway. Both me and Lori agree with that. I'm sorry for what Shane said." Rick says, and then Herschel and Jimmy come down from the house and ask for Rick's help with something. He lets Andrea know that they'll be a minute and then walks off with them, leaving Andrea to look at me and Dale confusedly. We both shrug and Andrea just stands near the car, waiting for Rick to come back. I hang out on top of the RV with Dale for a bit, until Glenn comes along and asks for a spare hat. Dale shakes his head and just tosses his bucket hat down to him. "What happened to yours?" I ask after Glenn's came up onto the RV. "Maggie cracked an egg in it." I blink. I never expected that. "Unlucky, boyo." I tell him and he gives me a deadpanned look. "Wow, thanks." Dale asks us to take over watch for him for a few minutes and climbs down from the RV, going inside to grab something and then walking off into the woods. I'm sure he has a knife or a weapon to protect himself, so I leave it. A few minutes later, Ivy and Sophia come up and ask for more sword lessons, so I agree and climb down from the RV. Daryl is being forced to take it easy by Carol, and right now both of them are sat next to each other in camping chairs, watching me teach their respective daughters. Sophia gets using a sword better than Ivy does, I think. Ivy's still good, but I think she should stick to guns and crossbows as her primary weapons. Her aim is immaculate, I've seen her throw rocks at her dad jokingly, and her target is always hit. He never gets actually mad at her, just pretends to and then grabs her and she squeals. Shane comes storming past after a while, talking to Glenn and then looking around in the RV before storming out and heading the same way Dale went before. I give Ivy and Sophia a break and, instead of taking an actual break, they give their swords to me and play tag. Their parents smile at them and then Carl, from where he's standing next to Lori who's sitting down, complains that he can't play with them yet. Lori assures him that he can, and just has to stop if he feels it hurting, and then he's cheering and joining in on the game. Sophia's currently 'It', and she's trying to get Ivy, but Ivy's a fast little thing and she keeps jumping out of the way of Sophia's hands. Sophia gives up on Ivy after a while, and she catches Carl easier. He whines but is quick to swipe at Ivy as she runs past him. He fails. She laughs at his misery. It's been, like, ten minutes since the game of tag started and neither Sophia nor Carl have managed to tag Ivy. They're both getting frustrated, and Carol and Lori are laughing at them. After a while, Shane comes storming out of the woods, holding the gun bag in his hands and Dale is following after him, a lot slower than he is, obviously. He storms up to the house where Maggie and Beth are sitting quietly together on the porch. We all follow him, just to find him shouting at them about the walkers in the barn. When we get close to him, he spins around and starts handing the guns out, skimming over Ivy, Sophia and Carl and coming to land on me. "Can you shoot?" He asks and I roll my eyes. "Can you not, Nanny Plum? Rick told us not to." He shakes his head and rolls his eyes and then leads everyone who took a gun to the barn. Me, Carol and Dale all look at each other and agree that we should follow but keep the kids away from any gunfire that might happen. On the way down to the barn, Herschel, Rick and Jimmy reappear. Both Herschel and Rick are holding onto animal catching poles with walkers on the end of them, snarling and growling and trying to twist to grab at the three men. "What's happening? Why do your people have guns?" Herschel asks, struggling against the female walker caught on his pole. "What's happening?!" Shane roars and I spot Ivy flinching, hiding behind her dad. Daryl holds onto her shoulder with the hand not holding onto a gun. "Do you see what you're holding onto?!" Shane yells and Herschel pulls on the pole in his hands. "I see who I'm holding onto." He says. "Don't do this, Shane!" Rick yells when Shane raises his gun. He points it at the walker caught on Herschel’s pole and sends a round into her chest. She doesn't go down, just snarls and reaches out for Shane. "Could a living breathing person come back from that? Why is it still coming?!" Shane yells, sending three more rounds into her chest. "That's its heart, its lungs, why is it still coming?!" Shane yells and Rick yells over him, trying to get him to stop, and telling him that he's done enough. "You're right, brother, it is enough." With that, he sends a round into the walker's head and both her and Herschel drop to the floor. Only one of them is moving, Herschel. He's breathing heavily and his daughters are running up to him and holding onto his shoulders. With that, Shane picks up an axe and goes running toward the barn with it, smashing the locks until they fall to the ground, completely broken. Walkers pile out, and everyone who took a gun starts shooting. Daryl sends Ivy back to me, Lori and Carol and because the other two are busy comforting their own kids, I pull Ivy close to my chest and let her hide her face there. At some point, Shane deals with the walker Rick had a hold of and Rick joined in on the violence reluctantly. After a while, all the walkers are dead on the floor and Maggie, Beth and Herschel are crying their eyes out. One final snarl comes from inside the barn, and everyone is raising their guns. The last walker shuffles out, and my world stops spinning. A little girl. Black, tattered hair and milky eyes. Tanned skin covered in cuts and bruises and flayed skin. Green shirt missing a chunk in the chest and blue jeans with holes in them. Dirty socks. Missing a hand. Part of her scalp is missing. She snarls and growls at the sun, her eyes squinting and her remaining hand coming to cover her face as she stumbles further out of the barn. Everyone turns to look at me, even Shane, and Ivy looks up at the walker and then realisation dawns on her and she snaps her head to look at me. Cara had stumbled out of that barn. I knew she would either be dead, or a walker still, but seeing it just hurts all the more. This is the little girl that needed a night-light to sleep until she was seven, the little girl who preferred apples over oranges, the little girl who pestered me to teach her Italian so she could be closer to her father. This little girl is dead. But she's moving. Shuffling. Growling and snarling. Rick raises his gun hesitantly, but I stand up and walk closer, leaving Ivy to be hugged by Carol. I take my knife from my belt and move to stand in front of the little girl I gave up everything for. She snarls and lurches forward, snapping her jaws and trying to bite me, but I don't let her. I grab her and bring her close to my chest like I did when she was younger, but she doesn't get the chance to bite me. My knife is in her skull too quickly for that. She goes still and slumps against me, and I slowly lower her to the floor. I cradle her body and brush her tattered hair out of her face before leaning down and placing a kiss on her bloody forehead. Cara is at peace now. Our mother will get to meet her youngest daughter.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Vittoria's POV
I don't pay attention to what happens after. I hear screaming and crying, but I don't pay it any mind, just sitting there, cradling Cara's dead body in my arms and stroking her hair away from her forehead. Blood coats my hands and fingers, but I don't move to clean them at all. Someone tries to take my little sister away from me, but I don't let them do that either, so they just sit down next to me.
"C'mon, we'll bury her." T-Dog says. I look up at him and he tucks a strand of my messy hair behind my ear. I reach around Cara's neck and take the necklace resting around it off, a gold Christian cross, then I reluctantly let him take Cara's body from me. Her head lolls, but he shuffles her, so it's supported by his arm. I stand up and Dale is next to me, offering me his hand. I take it, and he leads me to sit down inside the RV. I lay my head down on the table and he moves away from me, leaving the RV altogether.
I don't know how long I sit there, unresponsive with my head pressed against the wood of the table, but it's long enough for someone to come get me for the funeral. It's Sophia. She doesn't complain when it takes me a few minutes to answer her, just waits patiently at the door and smiles softly at me when I lift my head like it's heavy and get up from the table. No one expects me to say anything for the corpse that used to be my little sister, but Dale tucks me under his arm and it's comforting, like a father's touch should be like.
When the funeral is finished, me and Dale stand there, staring at the cross above my little sister's grave. Both of her shoes are placed just in front of the cross, and they've been washed and are no longer covered in blood and mud. I take her necklace out of my pocket and detangle myself from Dale, hanging the cross from the middle bit of the wooden cross. The cross was given to her by our father, and it had kickstarted her belief that he actually loved her, because he gave her something that he didn't want anymore because he no longer believed in it. It had his initials engraved in it and it had originally been a gift from his own mother, when he was as young as Cara had been when he gave it to her.
“Dormi bene, Tesoro.” I whisper, just as Glenn and Rick come down from the house, both with guns in hand.
"What's happening?" Dale asks as they walk past us.
"Beth's in some sort of catatonic shock and Herschel ain't here." Rick says, stopping to look at me briefly. My hands are still covered in blood, and so is the knife in my belt holster.
"Let me grab my sword, I'll come with you." Rick goes to ask something, but I'm running towards the RV and grabbing my sword from the table and running back out to them.
"Are you sure?" Glenn asks.
I nod, "We can't lose anyone else." I tell them, and they seem to agree, because they let me get into the backseat of the car.
Ivy's POV
Me and Daddy watch as Vittoria gets into the backseat of the car they're using to go get Herschel. Carol and Sophia watch, too.
"What do you think? Deflecting?" Carol asks, brushing Sophia's hair.
"I think she's had enough time to properly mourn. Just had ta cry for her a lil'." Daddy says, sitting down in his camping chair because Carol is forcing him to take it easy still, at least I get to sit in his lap still.
"I couldn't imagine having to bury a younger sibling when they're so young like that." Andrea says, walking over with Dale.
"It's even worse when you know what Vittoria gave up for her." Dale says, sitting in his own camping chair.
"What'd she give up? A few nights to babysit her?" Andrea asks sarcastically. I don't think she knows that her experiences growing up aren't the same as everyone else's. I mean, Daddy and Uncle Merle didn't go to college like she did, and their daddy, my grandpa Will, wasn't nice to them like Andrea's dad was to her and Amy. I'm guessing Vittoria raised Cara more than her parents did.
"Try every night," Dale says, "Vittoria gave up everything for her. Her mother died giving birth to Cara and her father wasn't a very good man. She dropped out of school at thirteen just so she could raise that little girl, she was more her daughter than her father's." See? I was right.
"Oh," Andrea says. "She was practically a mother at thirteen."
"She was a mother at thirteen," Carol corrects, "it doesn't matter if you gave birth to the child, if you raise that child throughout everything , you have the right to call yourselves their mother. She chose to be Cara's mother, so she is." Andrea looks like she's been scolded. She changes the subject pretty well though.
"Vittoria finished the bolts for your crossbow, Ivy." She says, and Daddy gives me a little shake.
"Yer gon' have to wait until Doctor Carol allows me to get up, Bambi." He says with a little side eye towards Carol, who laughs.
"You can get up, but no funny business. No proper huntin', mind you." I squeal excitedly and climb down from Daddy's lap, and he grunts as he stands up. Sophia gets up, too.
"Could you teach me to shoot? Shane won't, says I'm too young. He teaches Carl and I'm older than him, it's not fair." She says and Daddy turns to Carol. She nods her permission, so Daddy sighs and nods, too. Dale smiles as he goes into the RV to grab the bag of guns to hand us two, one for Daddy so he can protect us if needed, and one for Sophia so Daddy can teach her.
We get to go off into the woods after Andrea hands me my crossbow and the wooden bolts Vittoria whittled for me. They're light, and Daddy says they're perfect. She's even put my initials on them, ' I.M.D' in big swirly letters across the side. They're pretty, I almost don't want to use them. The excitement of getting to use my own crossbow overpowers that, though. Daddy sets up two targets, one for me and one for Sophia. He teaches Sophia how to hold the gun, how to aim and then teaches her how to strip it and clean it and put it back together again. Then, Daddy teaches me to aim, even though I don't really need to, and then I get to shoot the bolt. It hits the bullseye and Daddy claps me on the back when he sees it. After a few more bullseyes, Daddy asks if I want to try a moving target.
Sophia finally gets to practise shooting, and eventually she gets the bullseye, too. The moving target is a lot harder. A giant log swinging back and forth furiously? No eight-year-old is gon' hit that first try. Not even me. Most of my bolts end up on the forest floor, and then I manage to keep the bolts hitting the wood as it moves. Daddy tells me I did a good job, and then I manage to hit right in the middle of the log.
"Keep doin' tha', Bambi." Daddy says, moving Sophia onto the moving target. The gun Sophia is using has a silencer, but I guess a walker got too close and heard the wind sound after the bullet left it, because one comes stumbling out of the woods, right next to the swinging log. It knocks the walker over when it swings down.
"Daddy!"
"I see it, Bambi. Want to try?" He asks, coming up behind me, picking up one of my bolts and loading it into my crossbow for me.
I aim my crossbow at the walker's head and let the bolt go flying. It hits the target, and the walker slumps down onto the floor, finally at peace.
"Good girl, Bambi." Daddy says and Sophia looks over from where she's just hit her bullseye.
"Good job, Sophia." Daddy says, patting her on the shoulder and she smiles real big at him. I like Sophia's smile, it's real pretty. Like her momma's, it's big and genuine and makes you feel all fluttery inside.
Vittoria's POV
The drive to go get Herschel is quiet. I think both Rick and Glenn feel a bit too awkward to talk to me since... well, everything that happened only like an hour before. After a while, Glenn breaks the silence, only, he's talking to Rick.
"Maggie says she loves me." Rick nods at him, encouraging him to go on. I lean forward in my seat to listen, too. "She doesn't mean it," Glenn says when he notices both of us looking at him for more. "I mean, she can't! I mean, well... she... she's upset or confused. She's probably feeling like..."
"I think she's smart enough to know what she's thinking." Rick says, and I move forward to stick my head in between their seats like an annoying child.
"Yeah, girls like Maggie know what they're feeling almost always." Glenn turns to look at me, startling when he realises how close my face is to his.
"Exactly. It's pretty obvious to everyone that Maggie's in love with you, Glenn. I think if Ivy, Sophia and Carl focused on you both for a few minutes, even they would be able to tell. And it's not even because you're one of the last men standing, so what's the problem?" Rick says.
"I didn't say it back." Glenn says, fiddling with the gun in his lap.
"Huh." Rick mumbles.
"Yikes." I say.
"I've never had a woman say that to me before, except for my mom and sisters, y'know?" Glenn says.
"Can tell." I joke. He sends me a dirty look. He decidedly doesn't say anything about my little joke.
"With Maggie, it's different. We hardly know each other. What does she really know about me? Nothing. We're practically strangers. But I... I didn't know what to do with it. I just stood there, like a jerk."
"Hey. Hey, this is a good thing. Something we don't get enough of these days. Enjoy it. And when we get back, return the favour. It's not like she's going anywhere." Rick says.
"Don't jinx it." I say to Rick before turning my head to look at Glenn. "You’re a good guy Glenn, and that's what she knows. She knows that you're good and respect her already. That's why she loves you. And you know it's genuine if you're not actual soulmates." I tell him.
"Wow, you're deep." Glenn says, and I think it's meant to be a little joke like mine before.
"Ha ha. It's my profession." I tell him.
The rest of the drive is silent again. When we park, Glenn talks again.
"Hey, Rick?" When the older man turns to look at him, he continues. "I know about Lori, her being pregnant. I got her those pills." Wow, people just discuss other people's business in front of everyone these days.
"I figured." Rick says, and then gets out the car. Glenn turns to look at me with a confused look, but I just shrug and get out of the car too.
"Hey, I'm sorry I kept it from you." Glenn says, also getting out of the car. I sling my sword over my shoulder and Rick cocks his gun.
"Don't be. You did what you thought was right. It just so happens it wasn't." Rick replies. Well, if that wasn't shady, I don't know what is. Rick boots the door open, and Herschel is sat at the bar.
Ivy's POV
Daddy takes me and Sophia back to the camp and hands the guns in, and then Carol instructs him to take the rest of the day easy, so she takes me and Sophia up to the house to see if Maggie and Patricia need any help with Beth. They tell us they need some more water, if we would be so kind. Carol tells us she trusts me and Sophia to get a bucket of water all by ourselves, and hands us a bucket.
We walk sensibly down to one of the wells on Herschel's farmland, but Shane is there getting his own bucket of water, so we have to wait.
"Hi, girls." He says, continuing with pumping the water out.
"Hi, Shane." Sophia says, holding the bucket in both of her hands.
"Where's your dad, Ivy? Ain't he supposed to not let you out of his sight these days?" Shane asks, sounding a bit like he's trying to start an argument.
"Takin' it easy. He's still injured, y'know." I tell him. He nods slowly, moving out of the way so we can get our own bucket full of water. Sophia holds the bucket steady while I pull on the lever to pump the water.
"He should still be lookin' out for ya, shouldn't he?" Shane asks.
"He's in our tent over there, Shane. He can see me perfectly fine, can't he? If ya have a problem with the way Daddy looks after me, ya can take it up with him." Shane looks genuinely shocked that I talked back to him, but by the time I'm finished speaking, the bucket is full of water so me and Sophia take the bucket back to Maggie, Patricia and Carol. Carol then says we can go hang around Daddy now, so we run off to the camp.
Lori is walking towards Daddy, and she has longer legs, so she gets there first.
"How could you be so selfish? All I need is for you to go into town real quick and bring them all back." She says, to whatever Daddy said before.
"Listen to me, Olive Oyl. I was out there looking for that little girl every single day, just so Vittoria could bury 'er. Don' talk to me about being selfish! I'm done looking for people, if you want your bitch go get him yourself." Daddy says, and Lori huffs before walking off back towards the house. Well. Nobody can tell you my Daddy's a pushover.
Vittoria's POV
Glenn closes the door.
"Herschel." Rick says, lowering his gun.
"Who's with you?" Herschel asks, not turning around.
"Glenn, Vittoria." Rick says.
"Maggie sent them?" Herschel asks, still not turning around.
"They both volunteered. They're good like that." Rick starts to walk towards him, and Herschel turns his neck to look behind him, at me and Glenn. Rick stands next to Herschel at the bar while me and Glenn stay behind a little.
Bars have always made me uncomfortable, my father spent too much time in them. I keep close to Glenn, and he doesn't complain.
"How many have you had?" Rick asks.
"Not enough." Herschel replies.
"Let's finish this up back at home." Rick says, leaning down to make sure Herschel can see him. When Herschel doesn't reply or make a move other than take another sip of whatever is in his glass, Rick decides to tell him why we're here.
"Beth collapsed. She's in some sort of state. Must be in shock. I think you are, too." Herschel looks up at Rick.
"Maggie's with her?" Rick nods.
"Yeah, but Beth needs you."
"What could I do? She needs her mother. Or rather to mourn..." Glenn turns around to look at the door and I follow his gaze. I don't see anything, so I turn back around but keep a hand on Glenn's shoulder. "...like she should have done weeks ago. I robbed her of that. I see that now." Herschel finishes.
"You thought there was a cure. Can't blame yourself for holding out for hope." Rick assures.
"Hope?" Herschel asks, looking up at the ceiling. He puts his glass down and turns to Rick. "When I first saw you running across my field with your boy in your arms, I had little hope he would survive." Herschel says.
"But he did." Rick says.
"He did." Herschel agrees. "Even though we lost Otis. Your man Shane made it back, and we saved your boy. That was the miracle that proved to me miracles do exist. Only it was a sham, a bait and switch." Herschel says, looking away from Rick and going back to staring at the wall.
"I was a fool, Rick, and you people saw that." Rick, me and Glenn are all silent. "My daughters deserve better than that." Herschel opens the bottle of alcohol next to him and pours more into his glass.
Rick leaves him at the bar and walks over to me and Glenn, dragging us both to the door.
"So, what do we do? Wait for him to pass out?" Glenn asks.
"I don't know about you but I'm not carrying him to the car." I tell them.
"Just go." Herschel says. He repeats it when we don't leave straight away.
"We heard you the first time," I tell him. Rick gives me a disapproving look.
"I promised Maggie, I'd bring you home safe." Rick says.
"Like Vittoria promised that little girl?" Herschel asks, and rage courses down my spine.
"You keep her name out of your mouth, or I will bring your dead wife and stepson into this conversation, and I can promise you that you don't want that." I tell him and Glenn slaps me gently on the shoulder. Rick gives me a look that I can't decipher and then moves towards Herschel.
"So, what's your plan? Finish that bottle? Drink yourself to death? Leave your girls alone?" Herschel gets up from his seat and turns to look at Rick.
"Stop telling me how to care for my family, my farm. You people are like a plague! I do the Christian thing, give you shelter, and you destroy it all!" Herschel yells.
"The world was already in a bad shape when we met." Rick says. I move a bit closer, just to make sure if they need to be separated I could do it quickly.
"And you take no responsibility!" Herschel yells back. He's going to attract walkers if he keeps shouting like that.
"You're supposed to be their leader!"
"Well, I'm here now, aren't I?" Rick shouts back. It seems that the only way to get Herschel to listen to you is to match his volume.
"Yes. Yes. Yes, you are." Herschel walks back to the bar and sits down. Rick walks over to him.
"Come on." He says. "Your girls need you now more than ever." Rick puts a hand on Herschel's arm, but he knocks it away.
"I didn't want to believe you. You told me there was no cure, that these people were dead, not sick. I chose not to believe that. But when Shane shot Lou in the chest, and she just kept coming, that's when I knew what an ass I'd been, that Annette had been dead long ago and I was feeding a rotten corpse! That's when I knew there was no hope. And when that little girl came out of the barn, the look on your face, Vittoria... I knew you knew it too. Right?" I shake my head. There is still hope left in this world, with the people that you love that are still here with you. They give you reasons to be safe, to be careful and to make your way back to them.
"There's still hope," I tell Herschel. "You can find it with your loved ones that are still alive. Your girls are still alive, Herschel, but Beth might not survive if you're not there to help her." I say. Herschel shakes his head.
"There is no hope." He turns around and takes another sip of his drink.
"Look, I'm done. I'm not doing this anymore, cleaning up after you. You know what the truth is? Nothing has changed. Death is death. It's always been there, whether it's from a heart attack, cancer, or a walker. What's the difference? You didn't think it was hopeless before, did you? Now there are people back home trying to hang on. They need us, even if it's just to give them a reason to go on, even if we don't believe it ourselves." Rick says. He has to walk away from Herschel for a little bit.
"You know what? This... this isn't about what we believe anymore. It's about them, like what Vittoria said." Rick says. Herschel looks at him for a little bit, before finishing his drink and placing the glass upside down on the bar. The door opens and I spin around the exact same time as Glenn does. Two men walk in, one is a fatter one and another is quite lean.
"Son of a bitch. They're alive." The skinnier one says. They walk further into the bar, and I get a really bad feeling about both of them, so I stay behind the bar with Glenn. Rick pours them both drinks and they sit down at different tables.
"I'm Dave. That scrawny-looking douche bag there is Tony." The skinnier one – Dave – says.
"Eat me, Dave." Tony says.
"Hey, maybe someday I will." Dave says.
"We met on I-95 coming out of Philly. Damn shit-show that was." Dave says.
"I'm Glenn, it's nice to meet some new people." Glenn says.
"Rick Grimes." Rick says, putting the empty glass of alcohol away. Tony and Dave both pick their drinks up. Dave points at Herschel.
"What about you, pal? Have one?"
"I just quit." Herschel says.
"You've got a unique sense of timing, my friend. What about you, Red? You even old enough to drink?"
"Bad relationship with alcohol, but yes, I'm old enough to drink. And my name is Vittoria." I say, staying behind the bar. Tony eyes me and it feels almost slimy.
"This is Herschel. Both he and Vittoria lost people, today. A lot of them." Rick says.
"I'm truly sorry to hear that. To better days and new friends. And to our dead... may they be in a better place." Dave says, toasting with Tony. Rick and Glenn, who got drinks of water, lift their glasses too. Me and Herschel don't have drinks.
Dave notices Rick looking at him and pulls out a gun from his waistband. My hand spasms, ready to reach for my sword and pull it out if needed. Rick taps on the bar-top, signalling that I don't need to. I hide my hands under the bar.
"Not bad, huh?" Dave says, holding it by the trigger. "I got it off a cop."
"I'm a cop." Rick says.
"This one was already dead." Dave assures.
"You fellas are a long way from Philadelphia." Rick says.
"It feels like we're a long way from anywhere." Dave says. Tony keeps his eyes firmly on me and Herschel. Herschel is sitting kind of sideways at the bar and his hand is laying splayed out on the top, so I grab it. He jumps a little and turns to look at me. The uncomfortableness must show on my face, because he gives me a little smile and holds my hand.
"Well, what drove you south?" Rick asks.
"Well, I can tell you it wasn't the weather." Dave says, "I must've dropped thirty pounds in sweat alone down here."
"I wish." Tony says.
"No, first it was DC. I heard there might be some kind of refugee camp, but the roads were jammed, we never even got close. We decided to get off the highways, into the sticks. Keep hauling ass. Every group we came across had a new rumour about a way out of this thing." Dave says.
"One guy told us there was the Coast Guard sitting in the Gulf, sending ferries to the islands." Tony says.
"The latest was a rail yard in Montgomery running trains to the middle of the country... Kansas, Nebraska." Dave says.
"Nebraska?" Glenn asks.
"Low population, lots of guns." Tony says.
"That makes sense." Glenn says.
"You ever been to Nebraska, kid?" Dave asks.
"A reason they call 'em flyover states." Dave says and Tony laughs.
"How about you guys?" Dave asks.
"Fort Benning, eventually." Rick says.
"I hate to piss in your cornflakes, officer, but, um... We ran across a grunt that was stationed at Benning. He said the place was overrun with lamebrains." Dave says.
"Wait, Fort Benning is gone? Are you for real?" Glenn asks.
"Sadly, I am." Dave says. "Oddly, the truth is there is no way out of this mess. Just keep going from one pipe dream to the next, praying one of these mindless freaks doesn't grab a hold of you when you sleep."
"If you sleep." Tony says.
"Yeah, it doesn't look like you guys are hanging your hats here. You holed up somewhere else?" Dave asks. I tighten my grip on Herschel's hand and he grips mine, too.
"Not really." Rick says.
"Those your cars out front?" Dave asks and points his thumb at the door.
"Yeah. Why?" Glenn asks.
"We're living in ours. Those look kinda empty, clean. Where's all your gear?" Dave asks.
"We're with a larger group. Out scouting, thought we could use a drink." Herschel says, keeping his grip on my hand tight.
“A drink? Herschel, I though you quit.” No one says anything or laughs at what Dave thinks is a joke.
“Well, we’re thinking of setting up around here. Is it... is it safe?” Dave asks.
“It can be.” Glenn says. “Although, I killed a couple of walkers around here.”
“Walkers? That’s what you call ‘em?” Dave asks.
Glenn nods, “Yeah.”
“That’s good.” Dave says. “I like that. I like that better than lamebrains.”
“More succinct.” Tony says.
“Okay, Tony went to college.” Dave says.
“Two years.” The awkward silence is long , good lord.
“So, what... so, what, you guys set up on the outskirts or something? That new development?” Dave asks, and Tony gets up and comes closer to Herschel, who moves back.
“Trailer Park or something? A farm?” Tony walks across the bar, and Dave starts singing Old McDonald Had A Farm. Tony unzips his pants and starts to piss against the wall. It stinks. I twist my face and lay my head on the bar top.
“You got a farm?” No one answers him, Rick and Herschel give Tony disgusted looks.
“Is it safe?” Tony asks.
“It’s gotta be. You got food, water?” Dave asks.
“You got cooze other than the redhead? Ain’t had a piece of ass in weeks, wouldn’t mind a tumble in the sheets with you, Red. Feisty.” Tony purrs like a cat, still pissing against the wall. I gag. Herschel moves a little bit, and his hand keeps a tight hold on mine.
“Listen, pardon my friend. City kids... They got no tact. No disrespect. I’m sorry for what he said, Vittoria, you said your name was?” I nod my head as best as I can with my head still pressed against the bar. “So, listen, Glenn...” Dave starts to say, but Rick cuts him off.
“We’ve said enough.”
“Well, hang on a second. This farm... it sounds pretty sweet. Don’t it sound sweet, Tony?” Dave says.
“Yeah, real sweet.” Tony says, finally finished with his piss. It still stinks. “How about a little Southern hospitality. We got some buddies back at camp, been having a real hard time. I don’t see why you can’t make room for a few more. We can pool our resources, our manpower.”
“Look, I’m sorry. That’s not an option.” Rick says. Tony looks at Dave helplessly. I lift my head and stare at Rick.
“Doesn’t sound like it’d be a problem.” Dave says.
“I’m sorry. We can’t. And your friend here has already disrespected my daughter.” Herschel says, rubbing a thumb over my knuckles. I tighten my grip on his hand.
“I didn’t know she was your daughter, Herschel, man! You look nothing alike!” Tony exclaims. Obviously we don’t look alike, Herschel’s got white hair, he could have had ginger hair when he was in his prime, who knows.
“We can’t take in anymore.” Rick says.
Dave chuckles, “You guys are something else. I thought, y’know, I thought we were friends. We got people we got to look out for too.” He says.
“We don’t know anything about you, and as Herschel has just said, you’ve already disrespected one of our women. How do we know that if we let you in, you won’t disrespect anymore women?” Rick says.
“No, that’s true. You don’t know anything about us. You don’t know what we’ve had to go through out there, the things we’ve had to do. I bet you’ve had to do some of them things yourselves. Am I right?” Dave asks, and the silence that follows is extremely tense.
“’Cause ain’t nobody’s hands clean in what’s left of this world. We’re all the same. So come on, let’s... let’s take a nice friendly hayride to this farm and we’ll get to know each other.” Dave says.
“That’s not going to happen.” Rick says. Tony turns to me and Herschel.
“Come on, Red, you gotta have at least a small amount of sympathy for us! Let us in, please,” he says. I roll my eyes.
“I’m the wrong person to ask, I’m not nice. Rick and my dad say you aren’t coming to the farm, so you’re not coming to the farm, end of.” I say, surprising myself with how quickly I act as if Herschel is actually my dad.
“Rick.” Dave says.
“This is bullshit,” Tony says.
“Calm down.” Rick says threateningly.
“Don’t tell me to calm down, don’t ever tell me to calm down.” Tony says.
“Then listen to him, calm down.” I say, glaring at him.
“Red is practically riding your dick, Rick, is she your girl? You should fuck her more man, she might calm down some.” Tony says.
“He’s married, not to me, and I’m not interested in him. Never – ever – insinuate that I need to be fucked to be able to calm down. You need to calm down, getting mad because you’re getting told ‘no’ for once in your pathetic life? I think you should get fucked in the arse more, maybe you’ll calm down some.” I spit, moving closer to him but staying close enough to Glenn so if he grabs me someone can get to him easily.
“Whoa,” Glenn says, grabbing my arm.
“I’ll shoot you three assholes in the head and take your farm, and afterwards, I’ll have my way with you, Bitch .” Glenn lets go of me immediately and I reach behind me to snatch my sword out of its holster.
“Woah, woah, woah, woah, relax .” Dave says when Rick gets up out of his seat. “Take it easy, nobody is killing anybody.” Dave says. Rick locks eyes with me and nods at me. I stand next to Glenn and slowly and quietly take my sword out of its holster and hide it behind him.
Dave climbs over the counter on the side of the room and notices my sword.
“Nobody is shooting, or stabbing, anyone. See?” Dave places his gun on the counter.
“We’re just friends having a drink. That’s all. Now, where’s the good stuff, huh?” Dave says. I keep my sword in my hand but lean it on the counter. Rick puts his hand on his gun, and Dave looks up from where he’s trying to find a different type of alcohol before continuing his search.
Dave pulls a bottle out from underneath the bar, “Look at that, that’ll do. Listen, we can’t stay out there. You know what it’s like.” Dave says, pouring himself another drink.
“Yeah, I do. But the farm is too crowded as is. I’m sorry. You’ll have to keep looking.” Rick says.
“Keep looking.” Dave repeats. “Where do you suggest we do that?” Dave asks.
“I don’t know. I hear Nebraska’s nice.” Rick says. Dave laughs.
“Nebraska. This guy.” Dave reaches for his gun, but Rick has his drawn and fired before he can even touch it, and my sword is splitting Tony’s head in two from the top not long after. Rick paces between both of them, and Herschel watches both of us warily. Glenn looks between us a bit shocked, too.
Ivy’s POV
Carl comes to join me and Sophia after a while because he can’t find his momma, but we’ve already gone through all the games we can play, and they get boring just repeating them, so we sit stumped on ideas on what we can do. That is, until a giant spider crawls onto my converse. Carl had said during the first days of camp that he was terrified of spiders. A smile makes its way onto my face, and I lean down to scoop up the spider.
Sophia immediately sees it and smiles too. Carl is happily oblivious. “Hey, Carl?” He turns around to look at me and smiles.
“Yeah?” I hold up my hand with the spider on and he shrieks and jumps back. Daddy snaps his head over to look at us – probably to check it’s not a walker – and Carol does too, since she had come over alongside Carl. I get up and move closer to Carl, but he continues backing away from me.
“Ivy, please, no.” Carl begs, but I just smile and move quicker.
Carl takes off running. I giggle and chase after him, though I have to be careful to keep the spider in my hands, so I’m slower. Sophia follows us, giggling hysterically. “IVY!” Carl shrieks, not looking back to see if I’m catching up.
“IT JUST WANTS TO BE FRIENDS!” I shout after him, giggling.
“NO IT DOESN’T, I’M MORE SCARED OF IT THAN IT IS OF ME!” Carl screams, tripping over his feet and ending up in the grass.
I skid to a stop and accidentally drop the spider. I watch as it crawls on to Carl’s hand, and me and Sophia burst into laughter when he squeals and shakes it off.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Ivy’s POV Carl chases me and Sophia around after the Spider Incident, telling us that he’s going to get us back. He ends up being able to tackle Sophia, but I’m quicker than he is without a spider in my hands, so he doesn’t manage to catch me. Carl tickles Sophia until she’s crying with laughter, and then I run right into Daddy, and he sweeps me off my feet and plants me on my back to give me the same treatment. Carl laughs and thanks him, though the mood is ruined when Shane comes over to ask where Lori is. Carol tells him that she told the Greene family that she and Carl couldn’t find her before, and Daddy tells him that she might be off looking for Rick, Herschel, Glenn and Vittoria. Shane rages about him not telling anyone, and then gets into a car with a gun from Dale’s bag in the RV and skids out of the farm’s driveway. Carl isn’t really in the mood to play anymore, so we sit in the grass and roll around for a few minutes while Daddy and Carol sit and talk. Dale and Andrea come over to talk to Daddy and Carol for a while. My head starts to hurt, like in the ache way. I think it’s because I’ve been in the sun for too long. Daddy and Carol call us over to take a drink and me and Sophia race to see who can get there first. I let her have a head-start and still manage to beat her. She huffs. Carl walks over normally but congratulates me on my win. “My head hurts,” I complain to Daddy, taking slow sips of water. “You’ve been in the sun too long, Bambi, need ta find ya a hat or somethin’.” In response, Dale walks over and plops his bucket hat on my head. “Here, you can borrow mine until we find you one, Ivy.” He says with a wink and a smile. I smile at him and adjust the hat on my head, so it doesn’t move around much, and then Sophia smacks me on the shoulder and shouts, “Tag, you’re it!” and sprints off with Carl. They seem to always forget that I’m faster than them, but they get a big head-start because my clumsiness comes into play by making me trip over my own shoe. I get up and chase after them again, and easily catch up. Carl groans when I smack him on the back and shout, “Tag!” before running off to try and get Sophia. Vittoria’s POV Rick holsters his gun and I grab a tea towel from behind the bar to clean my sword off, sliding it back into its scabbard afterwards. I’m half tempted to twirl it around and whip Glenn in the backside with it, but I hold off, since it’s now covered in blood. “Holy shit.” Glenn breathes. “You alright?” Rick asks, watching as Glenn looks at the two dead bodies. “Yeah.” Glenn whispers. “Herschel?” Rick asks, turning to look at the man. Herschel doesn’t reply, just looks around the bar. Finally, Rick turns to me and tilts his head. I nod at him, indicating that I’m alright. Rick looks back at Herschel, and Herschel nods slightly at him. “Let’s head back.” Herschel says. Rick’s face is grim as he kneels down next to Tony’s dead body and picks up his rifle. I dig around in Dave’s pockets and pull little storage boxes of ammo out of them, humming softly when they clink noisily. I pick his fallen gun up, too, handing it to Rick. We all make our way to the door, but we hear a car approaching. I’m the first to drop, landing just next to the door with my back against the wall. Hiding from CPS and cops trained me well, I guess. Thanks, Dad, and Mr. Smith. Glenn slides in next to me and Herschel and Rick are on the other side of the door. The engine in the car stops, and the car doors open, and slam shut. I wince, don’t people know that noise attracts the dead? “Dave? Tony? You sure they said over here?” A man asks from outside, getting a small affirmative from the other man outside with him. I control my breathing and slowly get up onto my knees, making no sounds and not even rustling the curtains. I peek under the curtains and see two men and a younger man, around twenty-four. I sit back down quietly as they continue talking. “I’m telling you I heard a shot,” The younger man says. “I saw roamers two streets over, might be more around here.” One of the others says. I can hear him shuffling around outside. I use the cover of his movements to whisper. “Three men, maybe more in the cars, two older, one younger.” Rick nods at me. “It’s hot.” One man complains, “We gotta get outta here.” Someone knocks at the door of the bar. “Dave? Tony?” The other man grabs his hand and shushes him. “Shut up! You wanna attract ‘em?” Finally, someone with common sense. “Just stick close, we’re gon’ find ‘em.” The two older men start to walk off around the back of the bar, but one stays, his shadow standing ominously in the blurred glass of the door. “Dude, he said to stay close.” One of the older men say, and the shadow disappears around the corner with the other two. Ivy’s POV The Greene’s have offered to let us have dinner in their house tonight, so me, Carl and Sophia get to help set the table and wash vegetables. “They should have been back by now.” Andrea says, taking her zip-up hoodie off. I know she’s talking about Rick, Herschel, Glenn, Vittoria and Lori. And also, maybe Shane. There’s not enough room at the table, so I get to sit in Daddy’s lap, and Sophia gets to sit in her momma’s lap. Carl’s been jokingly giving both me and Sophia the silent treatment because of the spider, even though we had apologised multiple times. We all eat in relative silence, the only sound is crunching, chewing and the scraping of cutlery and plates. I manage to eat most of what’s on my plate and Daddy smiles at me and presses a kiss to my cheek. Once everyone’s done, Maggie digs a board game out for me, Carl and Sophia to play while the adults clean up. It’s Buckaroo, and it turns out only I’ve ever played it, so I win a few times until Sophia and Carl get the hang of it. By the time it’s my bedtime, I’ve won four times, Carl’s won once, and Sophia’s won once. Daddy scoops me up from the floor and carries me out of the house, ignoring my whines of wanting to play another game, even though my eyes are drooping, and I was practically nodding off on Sophia’s shoulder anyway. He wrestles me into one of Uncle Merle’s old shirts and tucks me into our shared sleeping bag with Thumper held tightly in my arms. Now that I’m in bed, I don’t feel tired at all. I tell Daddy so and he gives me a jab in the side, which just makes me giggle and want to stay awake even more. “D’you reckon it’s almost Halloween?” I mumble, curling into Daddy’s side. “Should be, why, you thinkin’ of dressing up?” He says, running his fingers through my hair. I close my eyes, feeling a little tired again. “No, just wondering. It’s a cool holiday.” I hum, settling down now. I hate when Daddy’s right. I don’t want to be tired or go to bed. “Yeah,” Daddy mumbles, still stroking my hair. “D’you think Merle’s still alive?” I ask, almost shyly. I’ve never been shy in front of Daddy; I don’t know why I am now. “Yeah, Bambi. Merle’ll still be alive, he’s a damn good fighter.” Daddy says softly, his hand stopping its movements. “Do you miss him?” I ask, looking up at him. “Sure, Bambi, I miss him.” Daddy says, his hand stroking my hair again. “I miss him, too.” I whisper. Daddy doesn’t say anything, just keeps stroking my hair. Vittoria’s POV Glenn peaks out the window as Rick stands up as quietly as he can. I knock Glenn’s hand away from the curtain and Rick kneels again to crawl over next to me and Glenn and Herschel follows him. “Why won’t they leave?” Glenn hisses. “Would you?” Herschel whispers. “We can’t sit here any longer,” Rick says. “Let’s head out back and make a run for the car.” Herschel nods, so me and Glenn follow along with the idea. It’ll probably go to shit, like all plans do in this world, but I’m past caring at this point. We all start to crawl until a gun fires outside and we all drop to the walls again, and I am the first one to drop again, lovely, Rick’s a cop, he’s going to think I’ve committed a felony in the past with the way I’m going on. “What happened?” One man asks, and I peek out the window to see him. Ugly looking fella, Gods. “Roamers, I nailed ‘em.” The other man says, running up to him. He’s at least a little better looking. The younger guy walks up to them finally. “They disappeared but their car’s still there.” He says, panting. “I cleared those buildings; you guys get this one?” The ugly fella says, pointing to the bar. “No,” The other man says, starting to walk up to the door. “Me either,” The younger one says just as I snap my head to look at Rick. “We’re looking for Dave and Tony and no one checks the damn bar?” The ugly fella says. Rick moves away from the door, and I move backwards so I don’t get sat on. He cocks his gun as the door pushes open, but Glenn panics and moves his entire body in front of the door so they can’t push it open. “What?” One man asks. “Someone pushed it shut.” The other man said. Rick gives Glenn a dirty look and I lean forward to press my forehead against the floor, I don’t care if it’s dusty and will probably give me scabies or something. “Yo, is someone in there?” One of the man shouts and I lift my head off the dusty floor to give Glenn the nastiest look I can muster right now. I just want to go home. Home home, the little home I made with Cara with the pale-yellow walls and black furniture, which caused Cara to call it the ‘Beehive’ instead of our house or our home. Home, with Cara’s hot pink bedroom walls and princess bed that I found at a garage sale for only $120, my own bedroom with the neon green and black zebra stripe walls that I hand-painted because it was cheaper to buy one bucket of paint than multiple rolls of wallpaper. I’ll never see that home again. “Yo, if someone’s in there, we don’t want no trouble! We’re just looking for our friends.” None of us answer them. Glenn gives us an apologetic look. I grab at the handle of my sword and look at Rick questioningly. He shakes his head. I huff and let go of the handle. “What do we do?” The younger man asks. “Bum-rush the door?” Another man suggests. “No, we don’t know how many there are, just relax.” The ringleader says to them. “We don’t want any trouble. We’re just looking for our friends. If something happened, tell us.” The ringleader says. I look over at the two dead bodies on the floor, Dave with a hole in his forehead, Tony with a split down his forehead. Yeah, something definitely happened. “This place is crawling with corpses.” Okay, then don’t shout? Problem solved. “If you can help us not get killed, we’d appreciate it.” Oh my Gods, can he not tell we’re not going to help him? Rick wipes the sweat from his brow with his wrist. “You’re bugging, I’m telling you, no one’s in there.” The younger man says. “Someone guarded the door. If they’re in there, they might know where Dave and Tony are.” Finally, the footsteps leave. I relax slightly against the wall. Rick hesitates for a minute, then; “They drew on us!” Oh, my, Gods, is he an idiot? They were leaving! Fuck’s sake, man. Herschel turns away from him, exasperated. The footsteps approach. “Dave and Tony in there?” Well fucking nah. “They alive?” Oh my Gods, I have to do everything around here. I press a firm finger against my lips to signal Rick to be quiet, before putting my best scared, teenage girl voice on. “No...” I make sure to let my voice wobble a bit. “A girl? Could have sworn a man had spoken?” The younger man says. “She killed Dave and Tony?” “Come on, man, let’s go!” “No, I ain’t leaving. I’m not going back to Jane. I’m not telling them Dave and Tony got shot up by some little girl in a bar.” The ringleader says. “Your friends drew on us!” Rick shouts and I grit my teeth to hold back the massive groan that threatens to escape me. “They gave us no choice! I’m sure we’ve all lost enough people, done things we wish we didn’t have to, but it’s like that now! You know that! So, let’s chalk this up to what it was. Wrong place, wrong-” Rick gets cut off by a gunshot blasting the window of the door out. Rude. I duck and hide my eyes from the onslaught of glass. Rick gets up and immediately gets to shooting. Hot. Jokingly, of course. “Get outta here! Go!” Rick shouts, and I don’t have to be told twice. I push Glenn up to standing, help Herschel stand too, and bolt into the back of the bar. Glenn and Herschel don’t follow. I peak my head out to check and deflate in relief when I see them both ducked under tables. I spot Tony’s massive gun and kick it over to Glenn. He breathes heavily and nods at me gratefully. We all look at each other for a few minutes, trying to decide what to do next. Ivy’s POV As it turns out, I wasn’t tired. So, Daddy sighs and gets up, making a fire just outside of our tent. Carol and Sophia come walking over and sit down with us. “Shane and Lori still haven’t come back. Neither have Rick, Glenn, Vittoria and Herschel. D’you think they’re okay?” Carol asks, turning slightly when Carl comes walking over too. None of his caretakers are here right now. Daddy nods at Carol. Me and Sophia keep him company, both of them talk about what they were good at when they were at school. Sophia was amazing at Math, Carl was great at English. They ask me what I was good at, but the only thing I can remember from school was crying a lot, wanting to be home with my daddy. I just say Geography, because I remember actually liking that subject. Daddy and Carol talk quietly for a bit, Daddy occasionally watching me for signs of tiredness, probably, but Carl drags me and Sophia into a game of I-Spy, even though it’s real dark out and we can’t hardly see a thing. Vittoria’s POV Rick slides down to sit on the floor and reloads his gun. I spot one of the guys looking into the bar to see if he can see us and I duck around the doorframe, so he can’t see my hair, since it’s practically neon. Thanks, Mother. “Hey!” Rick shouts. “We all know this is not going to end well! There’s nothing in it for any of us! You guys just- Just back off, no one else gets hurt!” It goes silent after Rick’s little outburst, but the bottles in the front of the bar start rattling. I move so I’m on the other side of the doorframe, so if someone comes in through the side door, they can’t see me. Bad news, I can’t see anyone else or if anyone comes through the door. I’ll take staying alive over not seeing who comes in. Someone rushes at me. “Ooh, you fucker!” I whisper-shout when I see that it’s Glenn. “Sorry,” He shrugs. Glenn sneaks into the stockroom, gun first. I follow him when he walks further into the room. The stairs creak. Gods, really? A bottle clanks. “Shit!” A guy whispers. Glenn breathes heavily. I roll my eyes and duck behind a table and chairs. Glenn cocks his shotgun. The same guy that knocked over a bottle tries the door handle; Glenn panics and shoots at the glass. “Glenn? Vittoria!” Rick shouts, scrambling towards the stockroom. “We’re alright! We’re alright.” I huff, looking at the smashed glass. Glenn slams his back against the wall next to the door, cocking his shotgun. I unsheathe my sword as quietly as I can. Rick and Herschel are talking to each other, but I can’t hear them over the pounding of my heart. Herschel comes creeping down the stairs and ends up spooking Glenn. “Where’s Vittoria?” Herschel asks, Glenn shrugs. I stand up and Glenn points the gun at me. I give him an unimpressed look; he literally watched me duck behind the table. “Sorry. Sorry.” Glenn sighs, lowering the gun. “Rick wants you to try for car.” Herschel says. I walk over to them both. “Try?” Glenn asks incredulously. “You’ll try and succeed. I’ll cover you.” Herschel says. “That’s a great plan,” Glenn sighs. He grimaces but walks over to the broken door anyway. Glenn pushes them open slowly, and waits for a reaction or response. There isn’t one. Glenn sneaks out of the doors and Herschel stands in the doorway. I have a sword, not a gun, so I stay in the stockroom near the doors. Someone shoots a gun, and I hear Glenn drop. No. No, no, no, no. Shit! Herschel aims and shoots, and I take that time to rush to Glenn. He’s hiding behind a dumpster, and he’s okay. Not even shot. Thank the Gods. I sigh in relief and pat him on the shoulder. He gasps and leans into me. Rick comes running. “What happened?” He asks breathlessly. “He fired.” Herschel deadpans. “He must’ve hit Glenn. He’s behind the dumpster, Vittoria’s with him. It doesn’t look like he’s moving.” “He hit?” Rick hisses, inching his way closer to the dumpster. I let Glenn lean against my shoulder and breathe heavily into his shoulder too. “Vittoria!” Rick hisses. “No.” I gasp out. “No, he’s fine.” I gulp in air, clutching at his shoulders. Rick sits down next to us and puts a hand on my shoulder, leaning over it to talk to Glenn. “It’s alright. The car’s just there.” Rick assures. “Okay,” Glenn breathes, still leaning on my shoulder. “We’re almost home.” Rick says. Glenn nods. “You good?” Glenn nods again. “Vittoria?” “M’okay.” I mumble. The man Herschel shot continues groaning. “Let’s go.” Rick whispers and gets up. He gets shot at. I press myself against the wall. I sneak a look. There’s a sniper on the roof of Steve’s Pharmacy. A car rolls up to the pharmacy, and a man shouts something at the sniper, but I can’t hear him over my heart that is once again pounding away in my chest. The sniper jumps off of the roof, but slips and falls, and starts screaming. Shit! The walkers are gonna hear that. “Dude didn’t make it.” Glenn mumbles. “Help me! Help me!” The sniper yells. “I’ve gotta go! I’m sorry!” The dude in the car shouts, driving off. “No! No, don’t leave! Help me! No! No!” The sniper screams. Rick looks over at where the sniper fell. “Get Herschel.” He hisses at Glenn. Then he runs for the sniper. Wonderful. Glenn nods for me to follow Rick, so I pat him on the shoulder and run over to Rick. My hip twinges. Fuck! I ignore it. I also ignore the walkers scranning the guy that Herschel shot before. He’s as good as dead. So is this sniper, if he doesn’t stop screaming. I’ll shove my sword through his neck if I die because he didn’t land his jump. I change my mind as soon as I see the poor guy up close. He’s just a boy, a kid . A teenage boy. At least only eighteen or nineteen. Shit, I’m going to feel bad for leaving this guy here. But with the way the fence spike is through his leg, he’s not making it. “Rick, Vittoria!” Herschel hisses, running over. “We have to go, now!” “No!” The sniper sobs. I wince at the noise. As soon as the walkers have finished that other guy off, they’re going to come here. And I’ll be damned if I die here. I’m not dying here. Rick shushes him. “I’m sorry, son. We have to go.” Herschel says. “No, no, don’t leave me, please!” The sniper begs, sitting up on the bins. “We have to go,” I whisper. “We can’t!” Rick hisses. “He was just shooting at us!” Glenn protests. “He’s a kid!” Rick yells. “Please help me,” The sniper whimpers. My heart strings tug. Fuck. “There’s no point, he won’t be able to walk, Rick. Glenn’s right, he was just shooting at us. Survival of the fittest, death to the thickest. I’m sorry.” I hiss. “This place is crawling with walkers!” Glenn yells. “We can’t leave him!” Rick yells at Glenn. “The fence went clean through. There’s no way we can get the leg off in one piece.” Herschel says. Glenn rattles the fence, to see if the spike will break, causing the sniper to cry out. “Shut up or I will shoot you!” Rick hisses. I unsheathe my sword and wave it in front of him. The sword will be cleaner, and quieter. “That may be the answer.” Herschel mumbles, dragging me and Rick away from the sniper. “We’re not going to get that leg off without tearing the muscle to shreds. He certainly can’t run. He may bleed out.” Herschel whispers, just as Glenn tells the sniper to shut up again. “Maybe we should put him down.” Herschel suggests. Rick looks at him like he’s crazy. “I don’t want to see anymore killing, but this is cruel.” Herschel says. “Can’t we just take the leg off? Vittoria’s sword would work, probably.” Glenn says. I cradle my sword to my chest. “The bone would dull the blade or shatter it completely, it’s too thin to cut through if you use the force needed for a clean swoop. No!” I hiss. Rick stops and stares at the sniper’s leg for a minute. “That hatchet still in the car?” Rick asks, making the sniper panic. “No,” Glenn breathes. Rick produces a small army knife from his belt. “Will this cut through the bone?” He asks Herschel. “I’ll have to sever the ligaments below the kneecap, cut above the tibia. He’s going to lose his lower leg.” Herschel says. The sniper panics more. “When we get clear of here, we’re going to have to find some tinder, cauterise the wound so he doesn’t bleed out.” Herschel continues, ignoring the sniper and taking his white button-up off. “Alright, no choice. Hurry up.” Rick says. “Oh, God, oh, God!” The sniper yells. Rick pins the sniper down. “No!” The sniper yells. I help Rick pin him down, narrowly avoiding a fist to the neck. “Hand me that stick!” Herschel orders, wrapping his button-up around the sniper’s leg. Glenn hands him the stick before walking back out of the alleyway as a lookout. “Guys, walkers.” Glenn hisses. The sniper starts screaming louder, causing me to cover his mouth with my hand. He bites down on my finger, and I yelp, reflexes kicking in as I smack him hard across the face. Oh. It makes him shut up; everyone should thank me. Rick, instead of thanking me, glares at me and covers the sniper’s mouth with his hand instead. The sniper doesn’t bite him. Uh, rude. “Hurry up!” Glenn yells, starting to shoot walkers. “Vittoria, I’ve got him, go help Glenn!” Rick says. I let go of the sniper and start slashing down walkers, either stabbing them through the eyes or cutting their heads off. The boys all shout at each other, and out of the corner of my eye, I see Rick rip the sniper’s leg up and off the spike. I’m going to be sick. I don’t, and bolt for the car, slashing down walkers as I go. Ivy’s POV I’m starting to get sleepy again, and Daddy notices it, which is unfair, because Carl and Sophia aren’t sleepy, and they don’t have to go to bed. Daddy doesn’t care, and just snatches me up anyway. I grumble ‘goodnight’ to Sophia, Carl and Carol and they all laugh as Daddy carries me into our tent so I can actually fall asleep this time instead of helping me, or sticking up for me. Traitors, the lot of ‘em. Daddy puts me down and makes me lay down in the sleeping bag again, but this time, the sleepy feeling doesn’t go away. My eyes droop and Daddy chuckles, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “Night-night, Daddy,” I whisper, closing my eyes. “Night, Bambi.” He whispers back, moving my hair out of my face. Daryl’s POV I leave the tent just as a car comes down the driveway of the farm. It’s the car Shane left in. Everyone comes down from the house and away from the tents to see if he found Lori. I follow behind Carol and Sophia and Carl pushes his way to the front to see if Shane brought his momma back. Shane gets out the car hurriedly and quickly moves around to the other side to help Lori get out of the car. She looks banged up, cuts and bruises covering her arms and face. “Oh, my god, are you alright? What happened?” Andrea asks, grabbing gently at Lori’s arm. “She was attacked,” Shane murmurs. “It was an accident. I’m fine, I’m fine.” Lori says, talking over Shane. “I really am. Where’s Rick?” Lori sighs. Shane turns his head away guiltily. Guess he told her everyone was back already. Liar. Lori stares at him expectantly. “They’re not back?” She asks after a few seconds of silence. God, I’m glad Ivy’s already asleep for this. “Where are they?” Lori asks Shane. “Look, I had to get you back here.” Shane huffs. What is this guy, a manchild? “You asshole.” Lori swears, storming up to him and beginning to smack his chest. “Lori,” Shane says, getting cut off by a well-placed smack to the chin. I have to hold in my laugh for that one. “He’s my husband!” Lori yells. “Lori, I will go after him. I will find him. Hey!” Shane yells. “Now, first things first, I gotta – I gotta look after you. I gotta make sure the baby’s alright, okay?” Woah, what? A baby? Does she not see how dangerous it is to be pregnant at the end of the world? She’s seen what it does to kids. We all have. I spare a glance at the row of graves under the tree, paying special attention to the smallest one that has pink shoes on it. “You’re having a baby?” Carl asks, startling his mom. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Ooh, tough luck, kid. Lori begins stuttering. Dale, ever the caretaker, holds out his hand. “Come on. Let’s make sure you’re alright.” Andrea nods and takes Lori’s hand. “Come on.” We all walk up to the house. Maggie ends up back at Beth’s bedside, who stares up at the ceiling blankly. Lori and Carl settle on the couch together, Dale hands Lori a cloth for her head and Andrea gets her a glass of water. “Hey. I am so sorry,” Lori turns to Carl, holding the cloth against her forehead. “that I left without telling you.” “It’s okay,” Carl says. “I wasn’t scared.” They sit and stare at each other for a few seconds. “When’s Dad getting back?” Carl asks. “Let’s hope soon,” Lori sighs. “I wanna be there when you tell him about the baby,” Carl says. “Oh, Love, he already knows,” Lori sighs, rubbing Carl’s back. “We were just... trying to find the right time to tell you,” “Is it a boy or a girl?” Carl asks. “Well, we won’t know that until it’s born.” Lori says, turning her body to sit cross-legged on the couch. I sit down against the arm of the chair that Carol is sat on with Sophia on her lap. “Will I be able to feel it?” Carl asks, placing a hand on his momma’s belly. “Not for a while,” Lori says. “You must have a lot of questions, huh?” Lori turns to us. “We never had the... talk .” Lori turns back to Carl. “I guess we forgot.” She laughs. Carl shifts to look at Dale. “Don’t look at me. That’s your father’s job.” Dale says. Carl turns to look at me now. “Don’t look at me, neither. I ain’t having that talk with Ivy until I absolutely have to.” I grunt. He gives me a look but turns back to his momma. “If the baby’s a girl, can we name her Cara?” Carl asks. Oh, Jesus. Lori looks at him sadly, but Sophia also seems happy about the name. Guess the kids already like Vittoria. Don’t know if she’d like a baby in the group having the same name as her dead little sister. Guess we’ll have to find out. Shane walks into the room, and the atmosphere changes completely. “Hey, dude.” He says, “Hey, I’m sorry, okay, Bud? I thought you knew.” Carl just smiles and tips his hat. “Big brother Carl. Pretty cool, huh?” He laughs. Shane smiles, but Lori looks away from him. Don’t blame her to be honest. “I’d say that’s very cool.” Shane laughs, too. “You, uh... You mind if I talk to your mom a sec? Hmm?” “How about a little later when she’s had a little rest?” Andrea cuts in. Carol nods and hums her agreement. Shane looks at Andrea blankly before turning back to Lori. “Lori, I had to get you back here. You wouldn’t have come otherwise.” Everyone stays quiet after Shane finishes speaking. Dale gives him a funny look. “How about you... How about you just hear me out, please?” Shane sighs, moving to stand behind Lori and Carl. “It’s okay.” Lori sighs, giving in. “Okay. Give me a minute.” She rubs Carl’s back. Carl nods and Shane pats his shoulder and thanks him. Everybody, including me, Carol and Sophia get up and leave them alone in the living room. We all end up on the porch. Dale’s still missing his hat. “Dale, you want your hat back?” I ask, and he looks at me. “Huh? Oh, no, Ivy can keep it until we find her one. It’s alright, really,” He says, smiling. “If you’re sure, thanks.” I mumble. We sit there for a while, and then retreat to the tents when Shane comes storming out. Ivy’s still fast asleep, spread out in the sleeping bag. Thumper’s still next to our bag, so I grab him and press him into her hands before climbing into the sleeping bag with her. She snuffles softly and curls into my chest. I press a kiss to her curls. My baby is safe, I tell myself. She’s safe, in my arms. Where she’s always been the safest. I fall into a light sleep. Ivy’s POV When I wake up in the morning, Thumper’s in my arms and I’m in Daddy’s arms. Daddy’s still asleep, but when I shuffle to try and get up, he wakes up and lets me go. “Hi, Daddy.” I whisper. “Hi, Bambi.” He whispers back. Then he gets up. He makes me get dressed, then gets dressed himself. He cooks up a rabbit and gives it to me for my breakfast and then starts getting his stuff ready to go looking for Rick, Glenn, Vittoria and Herschel. I don’t think he wants to, because Shane is also going, and because he don’t wanna leave me here without him to look out for me. It seems that every time he’s left me somewhere, with someone other than Merle looking out for me, I’ve gotten into trouble with walkers. The only person that hasn’t let that happen is Vittoria, but she’s not here right now. As soon as Andrea comes over to the group to get in the car, I see a red car coming down the driveway, and I can see a glimpse of Vittoria’s brilliant red hair. “Look! They’re back!” I shout, pointing at the driveway. They drive down the driveway and stop in front of the house, and Rick gets out the driver’s seat. Herschel gets out of the passenger seat; Vittoria climbs out of Glenn’s lap so he can get out of the backseat too. Someone else is in the car, too, but he has a bag over his head. Herschel tells Patricia to ready the shed for surgery, but I ignore that and run for Vittoria. She laughs as I collide into her and pats my head. “Did Dale let you have his hat, or do we have a little thief on our hands, huh?” “Who the hell is that?!” T-Dog shouts, pointing at the man in the back. “That’s Randall,” Vittoria and Glenn say in sync. Herschel and Patricia drag Randall into the shed, and then everyone else ends up in the dining room. I get to sit on Daddy’s lap, too. “We couldn’t just leave him behind, he would’ve bled out.” Rick says, holding his head in his hands. “If he lived that long.” “It’s gotten bad in town,” Glenn says. “What do we do with him?” Andrea asks from where she’s stood next to Vittoria. Speaking of Vittoria, she seems to be spacing out again, like after the barn, when she was just sat on the field, holding Cara’s lifeless body to her stomach. Herschel comes into the room and Vittoria snaps out of it. Andrea lays a hand on her back and she leans into it, putting a steadying hand on her own hip. Guess they’re hurting her. “I repaired his calf muscle as best I can, but he’ll probably have nerve damage.” Herschel says, wiping his hands free of blood. Vittoria looks away from him. “Won’t be on his feet for at least a week.” “When he is, we give him a canteen, take him out to the main road, send him on his way.” Rick says. Vittoria looks at him. “Isn’t that the same as leaving him for the walkers?” Vittoria asks, shifting on her feet. Shane gives her a dirty look as she nearly accidentally steps into him. “Weren’t you all for that when he fell? What was it that you said, ‘Survival of the fittest, death to the thickest’?” Rick counters. Shane gives Vittoria an appraising look. Weird, he hates her usually. “Yeah, well now that you’ve saved him and caused damage to his leg that will probably never fully heal, it’s cruel. You should have put him down. He won’t survive with that leg, especially without painkillers, and we can’t afford to give ours out.” Vittoria argues. “You’ve survived with bad hips, though, haven’t you?” Glenn asks, just curious. “I had a reason to keep surviving, I had a little girl depending on me. He has nothing, his own group left him to the walkers. Plus, I had painkillers.” Vittoria answers. Andrea pats her gently on the shoulder at her mention of Cara. “You’re just gonna let him go?” Shane asks, changing the subject. “He knows where we are.” “He had a bag over his head the entire way here.” Rick says. “He’s not a threat.” “Not a threat? How many were there? You killed three of their men, took one hostage, but they just ain’t gonna come looking?” Shane argues. “As much as I hate to agree with Shane, he’s right. Come on, Rick, you saw the way Tony acted around me and talked about and to me. And I look younger than I actually am. If there’s more men like him in their group, and they come looking, what do you think they’re going to do with all the young girls in our group? Tony literally asked if we had any cooze.” Vittoria sighs. Wonder what that means. Ed Peletier also used that word, so I think it’s a bad thing. “See, even Vittoria agrees with me.” Shane says. Rick looks between them. “They left him for dead, Vittoria you watched them drive away! No one is looking.” Rick growls. “We should still post a guard.” T-Dog says, handing a bottle of pills over to Vittoria when she winces and puts a hand on her hip. She smiles tiredly at him, and swallows two of the pills dry. “He’s out cold right now, will be for a few hours.” Herschel says. “You know what?” Shane asks, spreading his arms and nearly hitting Vittoria in the head if she hadn’t ducked, “I’m gonna get him some flowers and candy. Look at this, folks, we back in fantasyland!” He starts to walk out of the dining room, but Herschel follows him. “You know, we haven’t even dealt with what you did at my barn yet.” Vittoria winces and looks out the window behind her at the mention of the barn, “Let me make this perfectly clear, once and for all.” Shane turns to look at Herschel, staring him down. “This is my farm. Now I wanted you gone. Rick talked me out of it, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. So do us both a favour. Keep your mouth shut.” Wow, I didn’t know Herschel could be so outspoken. Shane nods angrily and sighs as he walks out of the house. “Look, we’re not going to do anything about it today.” Rick says, placing a hand on Herschel’s shoulder. “Let’s just cool off.” I climb off of Daddy’s lap and we all walk out of the house. T-Dog wraps an arm around Vittoria’s shoulder and talks quietly with her as they walk down the steps of the porch. Vittoria’s POV T-Dog wraps his arm around my shoulders as he walks us down the porch. “You okay?” He asks quietly, so no one can hear us. I nod. “You sure? What did that Tony guy say?” He asks, concerned. “Nothing I haven’t heard before, it’s fine.” I dismiss. “It’s not okay, though. What you said, it’s gotta be serious if you think they’d do anything with any of our women.” T-Dog insists. “We’re posting a guard, right? We’ll be fine.” I hum, rubbing his arm. He rubs my shoulder in return before letting me go and walking off with a lingering hand on my shoulder. I end up in front of Cara’s grave again. There’s a spider crawling over her converse. She always hated spiders. Tears sting my eyes, and I pick the spider up, depositing it in the grass away from the graves. I take Cara’s necklace off her grave. I don’t believe in the God she believed in, but it was a part of her. I clip the necklace around my own neck, next to my own necklace of an upside down cross. I hide both underneath my shirt. I didn’t give birth to her, but she was mine.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Ivy's POV After a week of Randall being here and recovering from his surgery, Rick and Shane take him out to fend for himself. Vittoria doesn’t want anything to do with it, despite Shane asking her if she wanted to go, which confused everyone, because we were all so sure that he hated her. Dale thinks that there’s something wrong with him, mentally, like he’s lost his marbles or something. I overheard him talking to Vittoria about it once. He told her to be careful around him, that he was probably trying to get her to come with him so he could kill her and blame it on a walker or something or other. I don’t think Shane would just try to kill Vittoria out of the blue, but I also didn’t think he would hate someone randomly for no good reason other than that they exist like he does with Vittoria, so I guess I don’t really know him as well as I thought I did. I thought Shane was kind, when he distracted me from panicking over Uncle Merle and Daddy being gone in Atlanta by catching frogs with me and Carl, and when he offered to do my hair when Lori was busy, or when he beat up Ed Peletier for smacking Carol across the jaw and for hurting Sophia. And when he saved me when the camp was overrun with walkers, shooting down the three walkers trying to get into the tent, and how gently he had held me after it, how he shushed me. I guess some people just change. Like Momma. She went from loving me to not wanting anything to do with me in the span of a few months, if Uncle Merle wasn’t exaggerating. Shane went from someone who was kind and caring to the version of himself now in the span of a few weeks, though. He was fast with it. Vittoria’s POV I dodge around Maggie in the kitchen to steal a bit of cucumber from the chopping board, narrowly avoiding her cutting my finger. She gives me an unimpressed look but doesn’t scold me. I pull myself up to sit on the bench behind Maggie. “Did Rick say anything to you about Glenn when they got back from town?” Maggie asks Lori, who’s cutting up some type of meat, I think it’s chicken. “Just that it had gotten pretty bad,” Lori sighs, gathering the chunks of meat she had cut up and sliding them onto a plate. It’s probably for Beth. Poor girl. “He’s not the same,” Maggie sighs, patting my leg and gesturing for me to give her the tea-towel I’m sat next to. I hand it to her, and she smiles at me all pretty. “Says he froze. Blames me. Says I got inside his head.” Maggie says. I reach over and pat her shoulder. She turns to smile at me. “He got shot at, and he did freeze. I had to follow him behind the dumpster to make sure he hadn’t gotten shot. It was scary, kind of. The adrenaline made it hard to register much of anything except that he had dropped after a gunshot.” I ramble. Maggie steps backwards to lean against me. I rest my chin on the crown of her head, which makes me look up at the ceiling mostly, but I tilt my eyes to look at Lori. I don’t know when Maggie felt comfortable enough to let me hug her, from behind even, but oh well, I’m not one to turn down a hug. “He came back. You came back. That’s all that matters.” Lori says, pointing her knife at me for the ‘you’ part. “Men have to do certain things, you know that. And they’re either gonna blame the little woman as the reason they do ‘em or the reason they don’t.” Lori grabs a tray from a cabinet and moves to a drawer to get a knife and fork. “I’ll tell you something. What happens out there, happens out there. And we... we’re just trying to keep it together till they get back.” Lori sighs. Maggie moves away from my hug and leans against the kitchen island. “Things were good. Maybe I-” Lori cuts her off. “Glenn’s a big boy. He makes his own choices, and then you -” Lori bites into a cucumber slice, “Do you have anything to apologise for?” Maggie shakes her head. “Tell him to man up and pull himself together. Just, don’t say ‘man up’, it never goes well,” We all laugh at that. I hop down from the bench, wincing at the thud my shoes make. Maggie puts the plate of chicken and salad on the tray, “Let me just get this to Beth.” Lori picks up the tray instead. “You go on, me and Vittoria got it.” I follow her out of the kitchen into the room that Beth is laid up in, carrying the cup of apple juice Maggie had put on the tray. “Knock, knock,” Lori says, hip-bumping the door open. I grab the handle and stop it from hitting the wall. Beth sits up a little, twisting to look at us both. Lori puts the tray down on the bedside table and I put the apple juice back down on the tray, being careful not to spill it. Maggie filled it unnecessarily high. “How about this, you, uh... you eat up all your food, we’ll get you up and out of here and go take a walk. What do you say?” Lori asks, hands on her hips in the middle of the room. “It’ll do good to be outside.” “You’re pregnant,” Beth mumbles. “How could you do that?” Lori looks down awkwardly. I sit down in the chair in the corner of the room. “Uh, I don’t really have a choice.” Lori laughs awkwardly. “You think it’ll make a difference?” Beth asks. “Of course it will.” Lori says. “You eat something.” Lori walks out of the room and I follow her, waving goodbye to Beth as I do. Ivy’s POV Carl enlists my help of getting rid of a spider that’s plaguing his side of his family’s tent, and Sophia follows us as I pick it up and let it walk around my fingers. It’s a Joro Spider, I can tell from the green markings on its back. It's cute. Carl doesn’t think so, but Sophia does. I hold it gently in my hand as I walk over to Daddy and Carol to show off my new pet. Carl and Sophia follow me too. “Daddy! Carl found a Joro Spider! Can I keep it?” I exclaim excitedly, raising my hand to show him the little insect. “Cool, Bambi. Is it dangerous?” Daddy asks, bending down to see it properly. He jolts back as it tries to walk off my fingers and onto his face, but Daddy isn’t afraid of spiders like Carl is. Daddy ain’t afraid of anything. The spider falls off my fingers onto the grass, and before I can pick it back up, a rat swoops in and steals it, immediately darting into the trees. Daddy winces. “No,” I whisper. “It wasn’t dangerous.” I pout. “Sorry, Ivy.” Carl says. “Yeah,” Sophia sighs. “You’ll find plenty of spiders wanting ta be your friend, Bambi.” Daddy says, ruffling my hair. “But it was a pretty spider,” I pout. “You’ll find another pretty spider, Sophia and Carl can help you look,” Carol says. Carl pales, but Sophia nods excitedly. “Yeah!” She squeals. She was afraid of spiders when we first met, but I think the encounter with the walkers in the forest, the day we met Vittoria, has made her more scared of walkers than anything else. At least the spiders can’t eat her. Vittoria’s POV After about half an hour, Lori knocks on Beth’s door again, coming to collect the tray and dishes. “Didn’t eat a thing, huh?” Lori huffs, looking at the still full plate. I sigh. I know what it’s like to be in Beth’s shoes. I was the same way when my mam died, but I snapped myself out of it fairly quick. Cara needed me. “You’re gonna-” Lori starts but cuts herself off when she notices that Beth is crying. She moves to kneel down next to Beth’s bed. I look at the tray, to avoid being awkward, but I notice the knife is missing from the plate. Hm. “I know how hard it is.” Lori whispers. “I tried for days to reach my mom, get her on the phone. “I can only assume-” “It’s just so pointless.” Beth whimpers. “Oh.” Lori sighs. “You have Maggie. And your father, and Patricia and Jimmy. And you gotta stay strong for them. I wish I could promise you it would be alright in the end. I can’t, but we can make now alright. And we have to.” Beth turns to look at Lori, and my heart breaks at the redness of her eyes. “Thank you.” She whispers. Lori smiles and nods. “I’ll be right back. We’ll go take that walk.” Lori stands up and brushes Beth’s hair out of her face. Lori walks out of the room with the tray, not noticing the missing knife. I stay, and Beth looks at me confused. “Give me the knife.” I sigh. She breathes heavily and shows me the knife but doesn’t give it to me. I sigh again and sit down on the edge of the bed. I don’t reach for the knife. “I know what it’s like.” I whisper. Beth looks at me confused again. “Like it’s not worth living? I get it.” Beth doesn’t say anything. “I also get wanting the mental pain to be physical.” That gets her attention. “How could you?” She asks bitterly. I roll my sleeves up, my mam’s green flannel making way for the scars. They’re jagged and long, stretching all the way up my forearms. Beth gasps. “ I get it .” I whisper. Beth sniffles. “I was around your age, too. Fifteen, sixteen, it all blurs. I was all alone, but you are not . You’ve got your sister, your dad, your boyfriend. They’re all worth living for, aren’t they?” Beth sniffles again and nods, handing me the knife just as Lori bursts into the room. She sighs, relieved. “Stay with her, I’m getting Maggie.” Lori sighs, running out of the room. “I’m sorry.” Beth whimpers. “Oh, Baby.” I whisper, shuffling closer. She tilts forward and leans on my shoulder. A few minutes later, Andrea, Lori and Maggie come into the room, and I quickly roll my sleeves down to hide my arms from them. I step back with Lori and Andrea. “Are you crazy? What if Dad finds out?” Maggie scolds. “What’s he gonna do? Kill me for committing suicide?” Beth laughs humourlessly. Maggie storms over to the bed and sits down in front of Beth. “Stop being such a brat.” She seethes. “He’d die. So would I. This isn’t just about you. We all lost Mom.” “And we lose each other, and I couldn’t stand that.” Beth says. “So you give up?” Maggie snaps. Beth just looks at her. Sensing a bigger argument, I herd Lori and Andrea out of the room. We all stand in the kitchen listening to the two sisters arguing. “Where’s Herschel?” Andrea sighs. “He doesn’t want to find out yet.” Lori says, eating a bit of cucumber. “It’s a family affair, we’ll let ‘em work it out.” “That’s working it out?” Andrea asks. “When Beth stops fighting, that’s when it’s time to worry,” Lori sighs, and I nod in agreement. “You are being so selfish!” Maggie yells. “This could have been handled better.” Andrea sighs. “How so?” Lori asks. “Vittoria shouldn’t have taken the knife away.” Andrea says. I scoff. “Excuse me?” Lori asks. “She was wrong.” Andrea replies. “Like Dale taking my gun. That wasn’t her decision.” “Okay, one, not every situation is the same, and two, I’m right next to you, do not ever talk about me like I’m not right in front of you. If you want to have a conversation with me, have a conversation with me, don’t talk about me, because then I’ll just shout at you, and then we’d get nowhere.” I snap. “You’re always shouting at someone .” Andrea says under her breath. “If you look closely, you’ll see that they probably deserved to be shouted at.” I smile condescendingly. “I shared my tent with you!” Andrea snaps, spinning to look at me. “Thank you, for that, genuinely, that was kind of you and I appreciated it, but if you’re going to be snappy with me, and expect me not to stand up for myself because you went out of your way to do something nice for me, then you’re wrong. I can easily stop sharing your tent.” I huff. “Fine, I want your stuff out by tonight.” Andrea snaps. “Okay.” I shrug. I’m not really that bothered, I don’t mind sleeping outside. “Girls.” Lori sighs. “She has to choose to live on her own.” Andrea says, continuing her side of the argument, but this time talking to me. “She has to find her own reasons.” “And I agree with that, but what if she is so sure of her decision that she ends up doing it and it’s not what she wants in the end? Or if she cuts up her arms instead of across ? That almost always kills. What if she dies regretting it?” I explain. Andrea has to take a pause to consider my words. “You talk as if you’ve considered this situation before,” She says instead. “So do you.” I counter. “I came through it.” Andrea defends herself. “And became such a productive member of the group.” Lori sighs backhandedly, “Let Maggie handle this her way.” “I contribute!” Andrea huffs. “I help keep this place safe.” “The men can handle this on their own, they don’t need your help.” Lori says. Okay, I’m kind of Andrea’s side for that one. “I’m sorry, what would you have me do?” Andrea huffs. “Oh, there’s plenty of work to go around.” Lori says. “Are you serious?” Andrea snaps. “Everything falls apart and you’re in my face about skipping laundry?” “Puts a burden on the rest of us.” Lori says. “On me, Carol, and Patricia and Maggie. Vittoria does her own laundry and offers to help us, so don’t bring her back into this. Cooking, cleaning, caring for Beth. And you-” Lori cuts herself off to point at Andrea. “You don’t care about anyone but yourself. You sit up on that RV, working on your tan with a shotgun in your lap.” “No, I am on watch against walkers. That is what matters, not fresh mint leaves in the lemonade.” Andrea huffs. “And we are providing stability.” Lori says. “We are trying to create a life worth living.” “Are you kidding me?” Andrea asks. “Look, I went after Rick. I took down two walkers after crashing Maggie’s car.” I don’t get to hear the rest of that sentence because Andrea doesn’t wait for her to stop talking and speaks over her. “You’re insane.” Lori gives up. “No, you are. And you’re the one that’s self-centred. The way you take it all for granted.” Andrea huffs. “My husband is out there for the hundredth time. My son was shot. Don’t you dare tell me I take this for granted.” Lori growls, getting in Andrea’s face. I stay the hell away from both of them, lingering near the door. “You don’t get it, do you? Your husband came back from the dead, your son, too. And now you got a baby on the way. The rest of us have piled up our losses. Me, Carol, Beth, Vittoria. But you just keep on keeping on.” Andrea says. Woah, since when did I get dragged into this argument? I was in the other one, I want no part of this one. “We have all suffered.” Lori whispers. “Playing house, acting like the queen bee, laying down rules for everyone but yourself.” Andrea carries on, “You know what? Go ahead. Go in there and tell that little girl that everything’s going to be okay, just like it is for you. She’ll get a husband, a son, baby. Boyfriend.” Oh? “She just has to look on the bright side.” Andrea says snidely. She walks past me through the door. Well, that was mighty awkward. Maggie walks out of Beth’s room a minute later, saying that Andrea had told her that she was going to sit with the younger girl while she takes a minute. That’s a bad idea if I’ve ever heard one. Lori shakes her head at me when I move to join Beth and Andrea. “What, why?” I ask. “It’s just going to end up in an argument, Vitt, leave it.” Lori sighs. Huh, new nickname. Cara used to call me Toria, when she decided she loved me. And my mam used to call me Twig, or Twiggy because I’m so skinny. She used to call me it so much that I sometimes forgot my name is Vittoria. I ignore it. I nod and leave the house, finding Ivy, Carl and Sophia looking for something under the porch. “What’d you kids lose?” I ask, jumping down the steps. I regret it immediately when my hips twinge. “Nothin’, my new pet spider got eaten by a rat,” Ivy complains, standing up. “Yikes, tough ti- luck, kid, trying to find a new one?” I quickly stop myself from saying something inappropriate. “Yeah,” Sophia hums. A flash of blonde catches my eye. I squint. Is that Andrea? Isn’t she supposed to be with Beth right now? “Hey, kids, is that Andrea?” I ask. Carl spins around to look. “Yeah, she walked out a few minutes ago.” Ivy informs me. Shit! I abandon the kids and sprint up the steps, skidding around the corner into Beth’s room through the open door just as glass breaks in the bathroom. Maggie’s already there and banging on the door. “Maggie?” I huff, and she turns to look at me. “She’s in there, and I heard glass!” She exclaims, banging on the door still. “Beth, honey, open the door, I’m not mad!” I grab the fireplace poker and jam it between the door and doorframe, pulling until the door pops open. Lori runs into the room just in time to see Beth holding her bloody wrist. “I’m sorry,” Beth whimpers, looking at me instead of Maggie. Maggie pulls her into a hug and pulls her out of the bathroom. I stare at the blood on the floor until Lori pulls at my shoulder. Beth’s already been patched up, and she’s been put to bed like a naughty child. Maggie storms out of the house and me and Lori follow her. Andrea’s running up to the house. The sight of her makes my blood boil. “Where were you.” Maggie seethes. “I heard, is she alright?” Andrea has the audacity to ask. “She would be if you had stayed with her. Where were you.” Maggie asks, her voice wavering with anger. “How bad is she?” Andrea asks instead of answering. Absently, I notice the three kids are still here, and they’re watching. I don’t want to hear any of this, so I grab them and bring them to Daryl and Carol. The kids go back to looking for Ivy’s new pet spider and Daryl and Carol let me sit in the quiet with them. I scratch idly at my forearms.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Ivy’s POV In the end, I didn’t get a new pet spider, because Carl found one, but got so scared he threw his shoe at it and crushed it. The dirty look I gave him could have killed him if looks could kill. Rick and Shane come back with Randall, despite them having left to let him go off on his own. They tell us he knows who Maggie is, and then they shove him in the barn where all the walkers used to be. Where Cara used to be. I wonder what Vittoria thinks about it. Daddy’s in there with him now, but me, Carl and Sophia aren’t allowed anywhere near the barn anymore, since we’re kids and Randall is dangerous. Carl thinks that’s stupid, but he’s afraid of spiders so what does he know? We all gather around the fire, except for the Greene family because they’re dealing with Beth right now. Daddy’s still in the barn, but Vittoria stands behind me like a guard, her eyes flitting from me, to Sophia, to Carl, and then back to me again. It’s like she’s waiting for something to happen to us. “So, what you gonna do?” Lori asks, pouring out a glass of water for Carl. She offers me and Sophia one, Sophia takes one, but I shake my head. “We’d all feel better if we knew the plan.” “ Is there a plan?” Andrea asks. Vittoria gives her the dirtiest look ever, dirtier than the one I gave Carl before. Probably because Andrea kicked her out of her tent, so now Vittoria has to climb up a tree to sleep every night. “We gonna keep him here?” Glenn asks. “We’ll know soon enough.” Rick says, hooking his thumbs in his pockets. Footsteps come from behind us and Rick nods at whoever’s there, so I turn to see Daddy walking up to us. His knuckles are bloody, like he’s been fighting. I skip towards him anyway. He uses one arm to pick me up and prop me on his hip. “Boy there’s got a gang, thirty men. They have heavy artillery and they ain’t lookin’ to make friends. They roll through here; our boys are dead. And our women... they’re gonna wish they were.” Daddy says, holding me tight against his side. He gives special looks to Vittoria and Carol, then turns to look at me. Something solid is in his eyes, and he squeezes me tighter, craning his neck to kiss me on the forehead. I tilt forward and lean on his shoulder. “What did you do?” Carol asks. “Had a little chat.” Daddy says, his grip on my thigh, keeping me pressed against him, tightens. He only ever held me this tight when Uncle Merle got put in jail. When that happened, he usually refused to put me down, and he never said no to me when I wanted to climb into bed with him. Carol looks away from Daddy, but grips tightly to Sophia’s shoulders. “No one goes near this guy.” Rick says firmly. “Rick, what are you gonna do?” Lori asks. She’s also holding her kid tight. Carl looks annoyed by it but doesn’t try to get out of her hold. Gee, what I wouldn’t give for my Momma to hold onto me. I tuck myself tighter against Daddy. He doesn’t complain. He never has. “We have no choice, he’s a threat.” Rick says. He turns to look at Dale. “We have to eliminate the threat.” “You’re just going to kill him?” Dale asks. “It’s settled. I’ll do it today.” Rick says, no room for arguing. He walks off, and Dale follows him, obviously finding room to argue. Vittoria’s POV Andrea moves into the RV, and I follow her. I don’t know why, but I do. I lean against the table as she roots through the cupboard that the gun bag is usually held in. She startles when she turns around to see me. She holds a hand over her heart. “Thought you were a walker. What do you want now? Shout at me some more?” Andrea asks. Do I really look that bad? Geez, way to flatter a girl; tell her she looks like a walker. “No.” I whisper. “I’m sorry. I’ve only been here for a few days, and yet I’ve found the time to shout at basically everyone. It’s not fair.” Andrea’s face softens. “I’m sorry, too. What I did was selfish. We can share the tent again.” She says. “I didn’t apologise so I could share the tent again, but thank you, anyway. I think we clash, because we’re so similar.” I sigh. “I think so, too. We could be sisters with the way we go on.” Andrea says, smiling at me. “I would have liked having an older sister.” I muse. Andrea nods softly. TRIGGER WARNING: TALK OF SUICIDE, GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF ATTEMPTED SUICIDE. “I bet.” She whispers. “I’m sorry, for what I said. It wasn’t my place to speculate about if you’d considered suicide.” She says quietly. “Should start with the truth, huh? First step to becoming friends?” I muse. “I tried. Nearly managed it, too.” “So did I.” Andrea whispers, arms dropping from the cupboard doors. “Tried to get myself blown up. Dale stopped me. He was going to sit with me, die with me. I didn’t want him to die. So, I got up, ran and took him with me. It was a week ago.” “I was sixteen, alone and afraid. Cara was asleep in the next room; my dad was nowhere to be found. I took a steak knife from the kitchen and holed myself up in the bathroom. Dragged it up both of my wrists, instead of across. It should have killed me. I laid there, against the bathtub, and right before I was going to fall asleep, I remembered something. In one of my mother’s rare moments of clarity, she told me to never let my father break me as she let him break her.” I keep my eyes on the floor as I tell my little story, so I don’t have to look at Andrea’s reaction. “That wasn’t what got me up off the floor. Cara started crying in her bedroom, and I could hear her knocking on my bedroom door, despite me not being in there. She was only three. The adrenaline kicked in, the survival instinct, and I covered my wrists with toilet paper. The adrenaline kept me going as I got her back to sleep, and then I fought to stay awake as I cleaned up my wrists and stitched them up. I narrowly avoided death, and no one knew. My dad didn’t notice, I didn’t tell anyone.” I finish quietly and then look up. TRIGGER WARNING OVER. Andrea is staring at me, her mouth dropped open. Her eyes are teary, and her hands slowly lift to cover her mouth. “I am... so sorry . You were just a kid, a little girl.” She whispers. “Can I... Can I hug you?” She asks. I nod slowly. Andrea wraps me up in her arms and pulls me against her. I tuck my head into her shoulder. She smells like sweat and grime, but I can’t find it in me to care, these days, it means someone’s alive. Dale walks in just as Andrea pulls away. “Oh, my, God, are you two getting along again?” He asks jokingly. Andrea just shakes her head and laughs. “No, we hate each other.” I deadpan, sliding into the booth chair. “I need a favour,” Dale says. “Did you move the gun bag?” Andrea asks instead of giving him an answer. “What’s the favour?” I ask. “Yeah,” Dale sighs, bending down to get it from under the seat opposite me. “I need either of you to guard Randall, protect him,” Dale says as Andrea sits down opposite me. “Why?” Andrea asks, digging around in the gun bag. “Rick’s giving me time to talk to the others, try and talk some sense into them,” Dale says. “But if Shane finds out...” “You think he’d just shoot the guy himself?” Andrea asks. “I’ll do anything if it annoys Nanny Plum,” I say, lounging in the corner of my booth seat. “Why do you call him Nanny Plum?” Andrea laughs. “There’s a British tv-show that Cara loves – loved... called Ben and Holly’s little kingdom, it came out last year, and the character Nanny Plum was my favourite, she was good craic. She looked after the kids if their parents couldn’t, and Shane keeps trying to make people think Daryl isn’t a good dad, so I figured, if he wants to be a nanny, let him be a nanny.” I shrug. “That’s... That’s actually funny.” Dale admits with a smile. He turns serious yet again when he turns to Andrea to answer her question. “You know killing the boy had to be his idea.” Dale looks at Andrea’s unbothered face. “Are you with him on this?” He asks hesitantly. “He’s a threat.” She says. “Who, Randall or Nanny?” I laugh. She gives me a faux-stern look, holding back a laugh. “Tell me this isn’t all the ammo,” Andrea says, finally finished looking through the gun bag. “You’re a civil rights lawyer,” Dale says, confused. “ Was ,” Andrea corrects. “You fight with words. The power of ideas. Using a... gun, that’s his way.” Dale says. “You really want to debate about saving a guy who will lead his buddies right to our door?” Andrea asks, leaning forward. “That’s what a civilised society does.” Dale says firmly. I snort. Who said anything about a society with Shane Walsh in it is civilised? “Who says we’re civilised anymore?” Andrea asks. Ahh, a woman after my own heart. “No, the world we knew is gone, but keeping our humanity? That’s a choice,” Dale says, sliding Andrea’s gun over to her. “Me and Vitt will watch your prisoner,” Andrea sighs. “But not because we think you’re right.” Andrea walks out of the RV, so I follow after her, grabbing my sword from the doorway before I miss it. We walk in silence to the barn. “Hey!” Randall shouts from inside the barn. “Can I have some water? Please?” Andrea loads her gun. “I’m very thirsty!” I listen to the sound of Randall’s chains jingling as he moves closer to the slats in the wooden door. “They’re gonna kill me, aren’t they?” I turn around at the sound of footsteps. Shane and Carl are walking together while Sophia and Ivy look under the porch, probably for more spiders to torture Carl with. I can’t hear what Shane and Carl are talking about. Shane comes walking our way. When he sees me and Andrea stood outside the barn, he spits and then laughs. “Dale, huh? What, he put you on death watch?” I cock an eyebrow at him. “Let me ask you something... say I wanted to go in there right now and I just wanted to take care of this, you gonna stop me? Hmm?” Shane asks. “I had a good teacher,” Andrea says. “I just do anything to annoy you.” I smile sarcastically. “Yeah, I know you do.” Shane rolls his eyes. “So, what? You buy into Dale’s sob story?” He asks. “I told him I was with you in this,” Andrea says. Shane looks at me expectantly. “I agree that he’s a threat, and his friends weren’t exactly friendly,” I shrug. “Mmm. You’re just still here for him, huh? That’s cute.” Shane sighs. “You see what’s happening, don’t you? These guys ain’t gonna go through with it. I’m telling you, they gonna... they gonna pussy out, and if they do, we gonna have a big problem on our hands.” I tilt my head and cock my hip against my sword that I’m using as a walking stick. “Let me ask you something... every time we have a problem around here, who do you think’s behind it?” Shane asks. “Some might say you, I know Vitt will.” Andrea says, just as I was about to say ‘You’. She just gets me. Crazy how we hated each other just five minutes ago. “Nah, no one listens to me.” Shane laughs. “I say it’s the guys who make up the rules, the boys that always have all the answers, even though their answers always prove wrong.” “So, what are you gonna do? Rick’s the leader of this group. It’s Herschel’s farm,” Andrea says. “Maybe we oughta change that.” Shane says quickly. “What are you gonna do, lock them in a room and take their guns?” I ask sarcastically. Shane gives me a look that proves his answer is yes. Fucking Nanny Plum. “I don’t know, that could get out of hand.” Andrea says. “No. No, it won’t, okay? I won’t let it.” Shane defends, “Listen, I don’t... I don’t want anybody to get hurt, okay? Rick’s my friend, Herschel... he’s alright by me. I can even try to get along with Vittoria.” He says. “And Dale?” Andrea asks. “Dale got a big mouth,” Shane says. “So do you.” I counter. “But he’s harmless.” Shane finishes, deadpanned as he gives me a dirty look. And what was that about trying to get along with me? “Look, I just... I wanna know what it’s like to sleep without keeping one eye open.” Shane says, probably trying to garner pity. “Ain’t that... ain’t that what we all want?” He goes to talk again but gets interrupted by Randall talking to someone. With the way he’s talking, it sounds like it’s a kid. Carl was the closest kid to the barn, but any of the kids could have slipped past us while Shane was distracting us. Stupid, distracting man. Shane throws the barn doors open, and Carl is standing there, a little way away from Randall. “What the hell are you doing in here? What did you say to him?” Shane says, pushing Carl out of the way a little, before rushing for Randall and pushing him against the wall. “What did you say to him, huh?” “I didn’t say nothing!” Randall insists, trying to shrink away from Shane. I’d also shrink away from Shane. I grab Carl by the shoulders and lead him out of the barn, leaving Andrea to deal with Shane. Shouting comes from the barn, and I think Shane is trying to shove the nozzle of his gun into Randall’s mouth, since Andrea is shouting for him to get away from the boy. Shane comes storming out of the barn and grips Carl’s shoulders, pushing him forwards a little more to get him away from the barn as Andrea closes the doors again. “The hell you doing?” Shane demands. “Please don’t tell my parents,” Carl begs, looking at me as if that’s going to save him. I might act like the fun aunt, but I draw the line at putting themselves in danger. “Carl, that ain’t cool, man. You could’ve gotten hurt in there.” Shane says, breathing heavily. “I can handle myself.” Carl insists. “Let me tell you something, you do not go near him again. Do you hear me?” Shane demands. “Shane, you’re not his dad.” I cut in. He goes to back answer me. “You’re right, he shouldn’t be anywhere near that stupid little toerag, but it’s not your place to scold him.” I say firmly. “And you ain’t his mother, Ginge, butt out.” Shane grits. “I know I’m not his mother, which is why I’m not in his face scolding him. Tell his parents, let them figure it out. If you’re such a good friend to them as you insist you are, they’ll ask you for help with punishing their son.” I huff, quite miffed with the name call. My hair is ginger, yes, and I’ve known this for years now, I don’t need to be called it. Where did the whimsy of calling someone a nickname that isn’t linked to their looks go? Why am I the only one who enjoys it? Hence Nanny Plum. “You know what... That’s actually good for once.” Shane says quietly. “Wait, what?” Andrea says. I double that sentiment. “I told you; I’m trying to get along with you, don’t push it.” Shane grits, like it physically hurts him to do so. There’s the Shane everyone knows and doesn’t love. “You’re going to tell my parents?” Carl asks, sounding betrayed. “Carl, man... this isn’t about getting in trouble, okay? A guy like that, he will say anything to you. He’ll try to make you feel sorry for him. He’ll try to make you let your guard down. You let your guard down out here, people die.” Shane explains quietly. “Now just... do me a favour, man... go find your ma. Go on.” Carl runs off, presumably to go find Lori. I also want to go find Lori, so she can save me from this man who always wants to tell you something. “Carl,” Shane says before the kid can run away completely out of earshot. “Quit trying to get yourself killed, man.” Carl looks at him and then takes off running again. I wish I could run away, but my hips would give out, and Nanny Plum would get me. Ivy’s POV “Daddy, why have we moved our tent?” I ask, sitting on a little tree stump, kicking my legs back and forth. “Because Shane is getting a bit too weird for my likin’, Bambi.” Daddy answers, digging through a pile of sticks for firewood for the firepit that he’s trying to build. “And why can’t I keep lookin’ for a pet spider?” I ask. “Because Carl’s just goin’ to keep on killing ‘em, Bambi,” Daddy answers. I huff. “I saw Carl gettin’ told off by Shane before,” I say, just to fill the silence. “What for, Bambi?” Daddy asks. “He was in the barn, I think. I saw Vittoria leadin’ him out,” I hum, swinging my legs back and forth. “What was Vittoria doin’ near the barn?” Daddy asks, suddenly alert. “And don’ you be pullin’ a Carl and goin’ in ta that barn, d’ya hear me?” “I don’ know, and yes, Daddy, I know. I’m not to go anywhere near the barn.” I rattle off. He’s told me every hour since Randall was brought here. “Good girl, Bambi. Why don’t you go ahead and ask Vittoria what she was doin’ near the barn?” Daddy asks. “Can’t, she’s still near the barn,” I answer. “Good, just testing ya.” Daddy smiles. “Don’ need to,” I grumble. “You’ve told me like a hundred million times.” “Where’d this ‘tude come from, Bambi?” Daddy asks playfully. “I don’ know,” I shrug. “I’m playin’ with ya, Girl,” Daddy sighs. “I know,” I chirp. He playfully glares at me. I giggle. Daddy lets me help him build the fire pit, and he doesn’t even tell me to go sit down when I keep dropping the sticks and everything. Momma would have. I get distracted by a spider crawling over a rock though, so I occupy myself with that while Daddy finishes building the pit. “Yeh can’t keep that, mind,” Daddy calls, watching me with my spider. I pout but let the spider go back to its rock. Dale comes wandering over and Daddy grunts, turning to give me a look that I know means ‘come here’. I skip over to them and Daddy picks me up and sets me on a low tree branch. “Point of us comin’ up here was to get away from you people,” Daddy says to Dale, as if it wasn’t just to get away from Shane only. “Gonna take more than that,” Dale answers with a hesitant smile. “Carol send you?” Daddy asks, handing me a stick that he needs me to hold onto. He’ll probably whittle it down into a bolt later. “Carol’s not the only one that’s concerned about you, your new role in the group,” Dale says, waving to me with a little smile. I wave back. But why would people be concerned with Daddy’s new role? Did he even get a new role? Or is it just adults making everything harder than it needs to be? “Oh, man, I don’ need my head shrunk,” Daddy grumbles, handing me another stick. “This group’s broken, I’m better off fendin’ for myself and Ivy,” “You act like you don’t care,” Dale says. “Yeah, it’s ‘cause I don’.” Daddy says. That’s a lie. Daddy always cares; he just doesn’t like to show it. When I wasn’t sleeping or eating, back when Uncle Merle first got put in jail, he was always worrying himself sick. And even now he’s always got his eye on me, or when Cara came out of the barn and he was constantly looking over at Vittoria, as if he was scared she was going to breakdown then and there. “So, live or die, you don’t care what happens to Randall?” Dale asks. Oh, so that’s what they’re talking about. Oops. I was on the wrong track. “Nope,” Daddy says, handing me another stick. “Then why not stand with me, try to save the kid’s life?” Dale asks. “If it really doesn’t matter one way or the other,” “Didn’t peg you for a desperate son of a bitch,” Daddy says. Dale gives him a sort of disapproving look when he swears, probably because I’m here. “Your opinion makes a difference.” Dale offers. “Man, ain’t nobody lookin’ to me for nothin’ except Ivy,” Daddy says, handing me another stick. I’ve got a collection of them in my lap now. “Carol looks to you for a friend, Vittoria looks to you for something, and I am, right now.” Dale says, watching Daddy come over to me and count the sticks in my lap before going digging in the stick pile again. “And obviously... you have Rick’s ear,” “Rick just looks to Shane. Let him.” Daddy grumbles, not even looking at him. “You cared about what happened to Cara, a little girl you hadn’t even met before, and I saw it in your face that you were sad for the kid that had gotten eaten by that walker. You cared what it meant to Vittoria,” It hits me then that Dale probably doesn’t know that Cara was the kid that got eaten by that walker. “Torturing people? That isn’t you. You’re a decent man, a good father. Ivy looks at you like you’ve hung the stars in the sky for her. So is Rick.” Dale finishes. Daddy just stares at Dale. The standoff is kind of funny. “Shane... he’s different.” Dale says. “Why’s that? ‘Cause he killed Otis?” Daddy asks. “He tell you that?” Dale asks lowly. “He told some story,” Daddy says, “how Otis covered him, saved his ass. He showed up with the dead guy’s gun. Rick ain’t stupid. If he didn’t figure that out, it’s ‘cause he didn’t wanna. It’s like I said, group’s broken.” After that, Dale just shakes his head and walks away. “Are you okay, Daddy?” I ask quietly. “Yeah, Bambi, don’ you start worryin’ abou’ me, ‘kay?” Daddy says, gently taking sticks from me and picking me up off the tree branch to set me back down on the floor. “’Kay,” I chirp. It’s kind of hard not to worry about him. Daddy’s a worrier, and everyone says I’m his carbon copy. I’m a worrier, too. Like father like daughter, I suppose. Vittoria’s POV I get bored with standing watch after a while, so I say goodbye to Andrea and go find Herschel to bother. I immediately feel bad when I realise that he’s busy with farm work, so I stay and help him. Dale comes over after a while, seems like he’s taking the time to ask everyone to join him on his ‘save Randall train’. I feel kind of bad for him, no one’s joined yet by the looks of things. “What happened?” Dale asks Herschel. “Dozen steer busted through the fence. Been wrangling the runaways all morning. But you’re not here to talk cattle.” Herschel says, handing me a bit of wire to detangle. I’m already sat on the floor detangling other bits of wire. Herschel’s hoping he can reuse some of the wire if we detangle the bits the cattle had ruined busting through it. I’m good with fiddley things, so I’m the one detangling everything. Dale shakes his head. “The boy,” “The prisoner,” Herschel corrects. “Randall,” Dale insists. “I don’t want to know.” Herschel says. “I’m told they’re deciding his fate. I’ll leave it with Rick.” “But this is your home,” Dale protests. “I want him away from my girls. I don’t care how.” Hershel chooses this time to look down at me, still detangling his stupid wire. He just passes me more. I grumble but take it from him. “It’s an execution.” Dale says firmly. “I don’t want to know.” Herschel insists. “But you can’t stand by the sidelines,” Dale insists, “You’re a man with convictions. You...” Dale trails off frustratedly. “To tell you the truth, I was. Or at least I thought I was. But I’ve made too many mistakes.” Herschel sighs, handing me more wire. “Would you at least talk with Randall before making up your mind?” Dale asks. Herschel shakes his head. “No. I’ll leave it with Rick.” Dale sighs sadly and walks away. Herschel turns to look at me. “Vittoria.” He says, moving to sit down in front of me. He groans softly as he does. “Yes?” I sing sweetly, still focusing on the wire. Maybe if I look really busy, he won’t ask me to do anything other than detangling the wire. “I’ve... noticed some things about you,” Herschel says softly. My hands come to a stop. “Like what?” I ask, finally looking up at him. “Things that I recognise in myself when I was your age.” Herschel says. I shrug my shoulders. I didn’t know he was even watching me, never mind analysing me. “You’re almost skittish,” Herschel says. “You tilt away from touch that you think will harm you, flinch away from any sudden movements. You don’t even recognise that you’re doing it, do you?” I shake my head. “Your father wasn’t a very nice man, was he?” Herschel asks. I only stare at him. “He drank a lot, didn’t he? It’s why you were uncomfortable in that bar; it wasn’t just Tony and Dave.” I nod slowly, going back to detangling the wire, just so I don’t have to look at him while he dissects my entire childhood. “That wasn’t all, was it?” Herschel asks. I shake my head slowly. “He beat you, didn’t he?” “Why are you asking me this? I don’t mean anything to you. You shouldn’t care.” I snap, throwing the wire down on my lap. “That’s where you’re wrong. You’ve helped both of my girls, Maggie’s fond of you, so’s Beth. And you came to that bar to get me with Glenn and Rick without being asked, you just offered.” Herschel says. “And I should care, I’m a father, Vittoria, the same way you’re a mother. You’re the same age as Maggie, and I can’t help but see myself in you.” “Why are you telling me this?” I ask quietly. “My girls are starting to think of you as their sister, despite it only being a few weeks. If my girls accept you as their sister, I’m happy to accept you as my daughter.” Herschel says. “Why. Why are you offering me this?” I ask. “Everybody needs parents, especially nowadays. I’d be honoured to be your father. You don’t have to call me Dad or anything, just know you’re starting to become my daughter.” Herschel says softly, pushing himself up and then walking away, like he didn’t just cause my entire worldview to stop. What is with the sad conversations today? Ivy’s POV Daddy lets me go and play with Sophia as long as we find an adult to play near or play with us since he’s busy. So naturally, we find the adult who we’re sure will play with us. Vittoria. We can see that she’s not near the barn, so we go looking for her where we’re actually allowed. We find her sitting on the floor, having a conversation with Herschel, so we wait until they’re done before we run over to her. She agrees to play stuck in the mud with us, but we have to wait until she finishes detangling the wire, so we sit in front of her and play patty cake until she’s done. Then, we play stuck in the mud for a bit. I’m not allowed to be the one chasing, because I’m faster, so it’s always Vittoria, who can be a little faster than me sometimes if she can push it. We play until it’s time to talk about killing Randall. The adults herd us inside, and then leave us with Jimmy, Beth’s boyfriend, who takes us upstairs to play board games with us. Rick sends Vittoria up to play with us, too. Probably for more eyes. Carl’s getting good at sneaking off and going where he’s not supposed to be. The shouting gets louder and louder until Vittoria gets sick of it and leaves us in Jimmy’s hands, locking the door behind her so Carl can’t sneak out. Vittoria’s POV I end up downstairs just as Dale points at Carol, “Not speaking out, or killing him yourself, there’s no difference.” “All right, that’s enough,” Rick cuts in. “Vittoria, what’s your opinion on this?” “Vittoria, come on,” Dale begs, turning to me. “You’re his age. And you’re a nice girl.” “Is that supposed to make me feel any sympathy for him?” I ask. “It doesn’t matter the age; anyone can be dangerous or volatile. We can’t take the risk, Dale. He may not be dangerous, but his group may be. That’s something I’m not willing to find out. I’m with Shane on this.” I decide, moving to stand next to Herschel. “All right. Anybody that wants the floor before we make a final decision has the chance.” Rick says. Everybody stays quiet, and no one comes forward. “You once said that we don’t kill the living.” Dale tries, gesturing at Rick. “Well, that was before the living tried to kill us.” Rick says quickly, shooting that one down. “But don’t you see? If we do this, the people that we were, the world that we knew is dead.” Dale protests. “And this new world is ugly. It’s... harsh, it’s... it’s survival of the fittest. And that’s a world I don’t want to live in, and I don’t believe that any of you do. I can’t. Please. Let’s just do what’s right.” “Dale,” I start softly. “The world has always been survival of the fittest. You may not have noticed it, hell, a lot of people don’t. But if you’ve been in a situation whether it’s your life or someone else’s; you usually pick your own.” “And you’ve experienced this first hand, have you? It’s theoretical!” Dale protests. “I killed Tony in that bar. It was his life or mine, Glenn’s, Rick’s, Herschel’s. Rick killed Dave. The same thing stands.” I explain softly. I don’t want to get mad at Dale, he’s a sweet old man who sees the good in everybody. Except Shane. “That’s one time,” Dale grits. “Not every time is like that!” “Dale, he’s my age. You said that. I’m allowed to be in this room because I’m an adult. Which, by your standards, means Randall’s an adult, but you’re treating him like a child who doesn’t know any better. He chose to buddy up with that gang of his, and he chose to stay, even when he saw what they were capable of.” I reason. “I refuse to believe this. Isn’t there somebody else who’s gonna stand with me?” Dale asks. “He’s right.” Andrea says after a few seconds on awkward silence. “We should try to find another way.” “Anybody else?” Rick asks. No one else speaks up. “Are y'all gonna watch, too?” Dale asks, tears in his eyes. “No, you’ll go hide your heads in your tents and try to forget that we’re slaughtering a human being. Whoa. I won’t be a party to it.” Dale walks off. But he stops next to Daryl and places a hand on his shoulder. “This group is broken.” He says and then continues walking off. After that, me and Andrea retire to our tent to change into cleaner clothes. “That time in the bar wasn’t the first time you had to choose between your life and someone else’s, was it?” Andrea asks out of the blue. “How’d you figure?” I ask. “You spoke with too much conviction. One time doesn’t do that to someone.” Andrea says. “No, it wasn’t. But I know what death feels like, Andrea. I felt it for ages after I tried to... you know. It’s cold, and lonely. I’d do anything to never feel that again.” I say softly. Andrea doesn’t have the chance to answer me, because I leave the tent, just to see Rick leading Carl into camp. “We’re keeping him in custody, for now.” Rick says. Andrea comes out of the tent also and smiles. “I’m going to find Dale.” She says and goes off. “Carl, go inside.” Lori says. “Now, please.” “He followed us.” Rick says. “He wanted to watch. I couldn’t.” “That’s okay.” Lori says. “That’s okay.” They hug each other, and I move to sidle up next to Carol. She smiles at me, patting my arm. Then we hear a scream, and walker growling. It’s masculine, probably Dale. “T-Dog, get a shotgun, now!” Rick yells. We all get up and run for where the noise came from. “Dale!” Andrea yells. We get there just as soon as the walker rips Dale’s belly open. Daryl tackles the walker and quickly puts it down. I spot Carl, Sophia and Ivy making their way over, so I grab them and keep them away, so they don’t see the gore coming out of Dale’s stomach. Ivy whimpers so I gather her against my stomach, keeping her from looking. Sophia hides her face in my ribs, but Carl moves closer. “Carl, keep away.” I warn. I could have sworn Lori told him to go to the house and lock the door. Carl ignores me, slinking forward. His mother grabs him. Everyone’s shouting over each other, all fussing over Dale, but I can’t bring myself to look over to them. “He’s suffering,” Andrea whimpers. “Do something!” She begs. There’s a few minutes of just crying and sobbing, then I hear, “Sorry, brother,” from Daryl. Then a shot. Ivy whines, Sophia gasps, and they both cling onto me tighter. I run my fingers through their hair, until Carol pulls Sophia away from me and hugs her, keeping her eyes away from Dale. Dale’s last moments in this world was him being disappointed in all of us. He was fighting so hard for Randall to live, and he was the one who ended up dying. Daryl takes Ivy from me, picking her up and soothing her. I then notice that Ivy is still wearing Dale’s hat. Without anyone clinging to me, needing comfort, I turn to look at Dale. Andrea is clutching his hand, her head bowed over him, his blood staining her hands. I drop to my knees next to her. She sniffles, turning to look at me. “He’s...” She whimpers. I nod slowly. I look at everyone, even Shane seems to be upset. I can’t bring myself to cry. So I hug Andrea instead. She clings to my shoulder and sobs, hard. Another person is dead.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Ivy’s POV Dale only gets nice things said about him at his funeral. I thought maybe Shane would have something to say, but it seems his mouth stopped working. “Dale could... get under your skin.” Rick says. Everyone looked to him to speak when we were all standing around Dale’s grave in various states of devastation. “He sure got under mine, because he wasn’t afraid to say exactly what he thought, how he felt. That kind of honesty is rare... and brave. Whenever I’d make a decision, I’d look at Dale. He’d be looking back at me with that look he had. We’ve all seen it one time or another. I couldn’t always read him, but he could read us. He saw people for who they were. He knew things about us. The truth, who we really are.” I wipe harshly at my eyes and curl into Daddy’s hip. He runs his fingers through my hair. “In the end, he was talking about losing our humanity.” Rick continues. “He said this group was broken. The best way to honour him is to unbreak it. Set aside our differences and pull together, stop feeling sorry for ourselves and take control of our lives. Our safety... our future. We’re not broken. We’re gonna prove him wrong. From now on, we’re gonna do it his way. That is how we honour Dale.” After the funeral, Rick brings Herschel over to ask about us moving into the house with them. “Gonna be tight, seventeen people in one house.” Rick says. “Don’t worry about that,” Herschel says. “With the swamp hardening, the creek drying up...” “With fifty head of cattle on the property, we might as well be ringing a damn dinner bell.” Maggie says. “She’s right,” Herschel says. “We should have moved you in a while ago.” “All right,” Rick says, “let’s move the vehicles near each of the doors, facing out to each of the doors.” People immediately move to fulfil his demands. I watch Vittoria take a particularly heavy backpack out of Lori’s hands with a stern look on her face. Oh, right. I forgot Lori’s pregnant. “We’ll build a lookout in the windmill,” Rick continues, “another in the barn loft. That should give us sightlines both sides of the property. T-Dog, you take the perimeter around the house. Keep track of everyone coming and going.” “What about standing guard?” T-Dog asks, handing Vittoria another backpack. She gives him a dirty look – she's still got Lori’s on her back – but takes it anyway. “I need you and Daryl on double duty.” Rick says. “Gotcha.” T-Dog nods, moving over to me and Daddy. “Why don’t you go see if anyone needs help, Bambi?” Daddy says, ruffling my hair under Dale’s hat. I shake my head and cling to his leg. “Alright,” Daddy sighs, “but you gotta walk, Girl, I can’t carry you.” I nod, still clinging to his leg. “I can look after her,” Shane says. “No thanks, man, she’d rather stay by me.” Daddy says gruffly. T-Dog fixes my hat slightly on his way past me. I give him a small smile. “I’ll stock the basement with food and water,” Herschel says, carrying two boxes. Enough that we can all survive there a few days if need be.” “What about patrols?” Andrea asks, stepping back to allow Carol and Sophia stumble past, carrying all the weapons we’ve managed to stock up on, guns and knives and other various pointy things. “Let’s get this area locked down first.” Rick says. “After that, Shane’ll assign shifts while me and Daryl take Randall offsite and cut him loose.” “We’re back to that now?” Shane asks, sticking his tongue into the side of his cheek. “It was the right plan first time around. Poor execution.” Rick says firmly. Shane laughs. “That’s a slight understatement.” “You don’t agree, but this is what’s happening. Swallow it. Move on.” Rick says. “You know that Dale’s death and the prisoner... that’s two separate things, right?” Shane says. Daddy decides he’s had enough and walks away, and I immediately follow after him. T-Dog comes with, too. Daryl’s POV I got my shadow back, but at what cost? Ivy’s reverted back into who she was before the world ended; shy, quiet, almost mute, and clingy. She hasn’t left my side once since Dale died. I don’t blame her, but it’s sad to see all the progress we had made with Ivy coming out of her shell be dashed. I don’t want her on perimeter with me and T-Dog, I want her safe, away from any danger. But she doesn’t want to leave my side, ever. And Shane offering to look after her really grinded my gears. He just wants to take her away from me. Ever since we met at the quarry, he’s had it out for me and Merle. He reckons we can’t look after Ivy, well, only me now, but it was also Merle when he was still here. He was constantly on Ivy’s case when she was alone with one of the women because he had me and Merle out on missions literally everyone else could do, too, he just chose the two rednecks with a scared little girl between them to pick on. He was always asking her if she liked us, if she was treated well at home before the world went to shit. Why she didn’t live with her mother. Just thinking of her makes me mad. Looking at Ivy’s sad little face right now makes me mad. My little girl shouldn’t be sad, and her mother should be here; it ain’t my fault or Merle’s fault that the she-beast isn’t here. Ivy was born of a drunken one-night stand; an accident. It doesn’t mean I love her any less for it. Lilith, Ivy’s mother, had my permission to abort her if she didn’t want to have a baby, I always thought that law was stupid, needing a man’s permission, I even offered to pay for it. But she decided to have Ivy. And I gained a reason to be better. To not be the mean old redneck everyone thought I was. I wasn’t always the best at it. I’m not the best at it now, either. Dale might’ve said I was a good father, but I’ve always doubted it. I could never provide for her properly. I made sure she was fed and everything, three meals a day, I encouraged her to eat everything that she could manage and didn’t make her feel bad if she couldn’t finish it. But I couldn’t get her toys. Not the ones she wanted. She had to make do with crappy dollar-store stuffed animals, because I couldn’t afford no damn dolls. She seemed happy enough with them. But I’d rather buy her clothes, warm clothes, winter clothes, than expensive ass dolls that she may play with millions of times but one day get bored of it. She’s never gotten bored of clothes, only outgrown them. Thumper, the beige and pink bunny rabbit currently sitting on our sleeping bag, ‘watching over it’ in Ivy’s words, was the first ever stuffed animal I had gotten her that wasn’t from the dollar-store. I saved up for it when I caught her looking at it like it would cure all her problems and pains when she was three. The year Merle went to jail for smashing that bastard’s skull in. She wasn’t herself that year and was only starting to become herself again when we first got to the farm, not the bubbly little girl I had tried to raise so bad. She was sick, all the time, had headaches and stomach-aches, she was always complaining of her tummy hurting. She even ripped the face off of one of the deer plushies I had gotten her. I remember her sobbing as she brought it up to me, her little face scrunched up with a suffering no little girl should ever have to feel, ever . No one should feel that kind of suffering, especially not kids. One of Merle’s ex-girlfriends was a therapist – he dumped her because she tried shrinking his head while he was high and drunk – and she answered some of my questions in exchange for meeting Ivy and playing with her for a bit. She said she always wanted kids. She said it was normal for kids, who had been through what Ivy had been through, to take it out on their toys, especially ones who they associate themselves with or toys that look like them. I asked why it was a deer plushie, then shut my mouth quickly. I was the reason she associated herself with deer. I call her Bambi for God’s sake. And she had no dolls. “You cold, Ivy?” T-Dog asks, watching my little girl cling to my leg. Ivy shakes her head, but she shivers anyway and clings to me tighter. I put my crossbow down on the floor and shrug my flannel shirt off, the only one I haven’t cut the sleeves off of. I drape the shirt around Ivy’s shoulders, and she sticks her arms through the sleeves and immediately goes back to clinging to me. “Bambi, can you hold my hand instead? I can’t walk like that,” I ask softly, brushing my hand over her hair. She reaches up and holds my hand instead of clinging to my leg. I pick my cross bow up and sling it over my shoulder, going back to watching perimeter. “What do you think Shane and Carl are talking about?” T-Dog asks, pointing over at Shane and Carl. “Don’ know, don’ care.” I reply, squeezing Ivy’s hand. I see Carl hand Shane something, but I don’t see what it is, so I ignore it and keep moving. Every few minutes we take a few steps around the perimeter, watching like Rick asked us to. Suddenly, Ivy shakes my hand and points into the forest. A deer is poking its head out of the trees. “Good spot, Ivy,” I whisper, leaning down to kiss her head. She leans into me. A walker comes lurching out of the forest and sinks its rotten teeth into the deer’s neck. “There goes dinner,” T-Dog sighs. I get close enough to shoot a bolt between the walker’s eyes. Ivy stays clinging to me. Vittoria’s POV I take a blue box off of Lori’s hands and she gives me a disapproving look. “You’re pregnant, no carrying heavy things.” I chide. “I’m pregnant not an invalid.” She huffs but stacks the other boxes on the box in my hands and holds the door open for me to bring them into the house. “You can put that in my room.” Herschel says, pointing me in the direction. “And Vittoria, Maggie says you can stay in her room with her.” “Over her boyfriend?” I ask. “He declined.” Is all Herschel says. “Ahh, I’m second choice.” I joke. He nods with a smile. “I can’t take your room, Herschel.” Lori protests. “A pregnant woman sleeping on the floor while I’ve got a bed to myself?” Herschel asks. “This is still your house.” Lori sighs. “It’s our home. I’ll take the couch downstairs. On nights when I came home reeking of Bourbon, my wife would lock the bedroom door. I’m sad to say that couch and I became old friends.” Herschel says. I ignore their argument and put Lori’s things in Herschel’s room. There’s a box in the open wardrobe, full of children’s toys; dolls, teddy bears, board games that didn’t make it to the shelf in the living room. Just looking at it reminds me that I have something similar in my wardrobe back at home. All of the toys Cara didn’t want anymore that I didn’t get around to donating. I shake my head; I can’t be thinking about that right now. I’ll never see Cara again, and I’ll never see her toys again. There’s no time for mourning at the end of the world. Ivy’s POV Rick asked Daddy to come with him for a moment, and I’m guessing Daddy wanted me to stay with T-Dog, but that wasn’t happening. I clung to his hand, and he sighed and let me come along. I’m sat on the porch railing as Daddy and Rick talk about the plans for Randall. “Take him out to Senoia, hour there, hour back, give or take.” Rick says, gesturing his hand over the map. “We may lose the light, but we’ll be halfway home by then.” “This little pain in the ass will be a distant memory.” Daddy says, “Good riddance.” “Carol’s putting together some provisions for him, enough to last a few days.” Rick says. We all turn to look as a car comes down the long driveway, Shane in the front seat with the trunk still open. “That thing you did last night...” Rick starts. “Ain’t no reason you should do all the heavy lifting.” Daddy says. Rick nods, looking grateful. “So, are you good with all this?” He asks, holding up his now folded map. “I don’ see you and I trading haymakers on the side of the road. Nobody’d win that fight,” Daddy shrugs. Shane comes waltzing up to the porch and Daddy lifts me down from the railing, setting me on his hip and bringing me into the house, where Sophia is helping Carol make provisions for Randall. “Can you watch her a minute? I gotta take a leak,” Daddy says, dropping me to my feet on the kitchen floor before taking off. I hold back a whine, wishing wholeheartedly that I had Thumper, so I don’t have to just stand here awkwardly. “Hi, Ivy,” Carol says sweetly. “Hi,” I mumble. “Find any spiders?” Sophia asks. I shake my head. “Are you okay?” Carol asks. I nod my head. “Hey, guys,” Vittoria says, stepping into the kitchen. “Making food for Randy?” “Yeah, and you know his name isn’t Randy,” Carol smiles. “Eh,” Vittoria shrugs. She seems a bit erratic, like she’s full of energy and doesn’t know what to do with it. “Bored?” Carol asks. “A little,” Vittoria says, but I don’t think she’s bored. “Hey, Ivy, where’s Thumper? I haven’t seen you with him in a while,” Carol asks, changing the subject. I wish she hadn’t, because now the subject is on me. “In the tent,” I mumble. “He hasn’t been brought in yet?” Sophia asks. I shake my head. “Do you want me to go get him with you?” Sophia asks. “Daddy says I have to stay in adult supervision.” I shrug. “Want me to come with you to get him? I can bring your stuff in, too,” Vittoria says. I nod softly, and she smiles and offers me her hand. I take it and we walk down to mine and Daddy’s tent together. As soon as we’re there, I’m grabbing Thumper and hugging him tight to my chest. “He’s real cute,” Vittoria smiles. I nod and hug him tighter. I help Vittoria gather all of mine and Daddy’s stuff into our backpacks and she carries it all back to the house, including the bag with the tent and sleeping bags in it. I get to just carry Thumper. Vittoria puts the stuff in an unclaimed corner of the house and ruffles my hair. I follow her out onto the porch, watching Daddy and T-Dog load up a truck to send take Randall out in. Vittoria lifts me up onto the railing again and I dangle my legs off the side. Daddy smiles at me and gives me a salute. I smile and give him a salute too. T-Dog hands Daddy a gun. “This Dale’s gun?” Daddy asks. “Yeah,” T-Dog sighs. “Wish I knew where the hell mine was.” Daddy shrugs. Rick comes over and Daddy grabs his crossbow out of the bed of the truck, slinging it over his shoulder. “I’ll go get the package,” T-Dog says, walking off towards the shed to get Randall. A few minutes later, T-Dog comes running back, without Randall. “He got out!” He screams, and everyone’s on high alert. Vittoria lifts me down from the railing and ushers me into the house. Lori does the same with Carl and Carol does the same with Sophia, telling us to stay with Vittoria. A few minutes a later, everyone is back in the house, except Daddy, Shane, Rick and Glenn. We busy ourselves with setting up sleeping areas. Vittoria helps with me with mine and Daddy’s, and then drags everyone into a game of Uno, which of course nearly ends in tears when Vittoria beats everybody. Carl goes upstairs, claiming to need the toilet. He doesn’t come back down.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Ivy’s POV An hour later, Daddy and Glenn come back. I run for Daddy, and he picks me up, setting me on his hip. “Rick and Shane ain’t back?” Daddy asks. “No,” Lori says. “We heard a shot,” Daddy says. “Maybe they found Randall.” Lori shrugs. “We found him.” Daddy says, squeezing me. “Is he back in the shed?” Maggie asks. “He’s a walker.” Daddy says. “Did you find the walker that bit him?” Herschel asks. “No, the weird thing is he wasn’t bit.” Glenn says. “His neck was broke.” Daddy says. “So he fought back.” Patricia says. “The thing is Shane and Randall’s tracks were right on top of each other.” Daddy says. “And Shane ain’t no tracker, so he didn’t come up behind him. They were together.” “Would you please get back out there, find Rick and Shane and find out what on Earth is going on?” Lori asks, coming up to me and Daddy. “You got it.” Daddy says, putting me down, ignoring my whines. Lori puts her hand on my shoulder. A few adults go out onto the porch, and then come storming back in, turning off every light that they can. Andrea grabs the weapons and throws Vittoria her sword. She catches it and raises an eyebrow. “There’s an entire herd outside.” Andrea whispers. Vittoria is immediately alert, looking through the slats of the boarded-up windows to look outside. I’d recognise that growling anywhere. It was there the night in the tent, it was there when me and Sophia got chased into the woods, and it was there when Shane broke the barn open, and it was there when Vittoria had to stick a knife in her little sister’s head. “Carl’s gone.” Lori says desperately. “What?” Vittoria asks. “He went upstairs and now I can’t find him anymore.” Lori breathes, panicking. “Maybe he’s hiding,” Glenn suggests. “He was supposed to be upstairs; I’m not leaving without my boy.” Lori demands. “We’re not, we’re gonna look again, we’re going to find him.” Carol assures, “Sophia, Ivy, come on.” Vittoria’s POV I unsheathe my sword and go out onto the porch with the others. Everyone is grabbing guns, but I never learned to shoot one, so I’m stuck with my close-range weapon that’ll probably get me killed one day. “I got the number, it’s no use.” Daryl says. “You can go if you want.” Herschel says, cocking his gun. “You gonna take ‘em all on?” Daryl asks. “We have guns, we have cars.” Herschel says. “Kill as many as we can.” Andrea says, handing me a gun. I shake my head. “Come on, that sword’s gonna get you bit.” Andrea insists. “I don’t know how to shoot one, I’ll be fine.” I wave off. “You ain’t been taught?” Herschel asks. “I wasn’t gonna ask Nanny Plum, now, was I?” I ask, crossing my arms over my chest. “Yeah, fair enough, just be careful.” Daryl says, eyeing me. “We can use the cars to lead the rest of them off the farm.” Andrea continues. “Are you serious?” Daryl asks. “It’s my farm.” Herschel says. “I’ll die here.” “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m with him. It sounds impossible, but the dead walking used to be impossible, so, whatever,” I shrug, wandering off with Herschel. Some of the others get into cars and drive around with guns, but me and Herschel stay at the steps to the porch, putting down any walker that gets close enough. “You still good?” Herschel asks, reloading his gun. “Yep,” I chirp, kicking a walker off of my sword. My hip twinges, nearly forcing me to the floor. I grit my teeth and ignore it. “You?” “Fine,” Herschel says. I hear Lori and Carol arguing behind us on the porch, so the pressure’s really on to make sure no walkers get up there. I can hear Carol corralling the others inside the house to get a move on. “Herschel! Vittoria!” Lori yells. “Ivy? Sophia?” Carol yells. “I’m here,” Ivy yells, but we don’t get an answer from Sophia. “Sophia!” Carol yells again, panicked. Great, we’re missing two kids. “Mommy!” Sophia yells from upstairs. “Sophia?!” Carol yells, climbing onto the porch railing to see where she is. I take a glance. She’s at the window, but it won’t open fully, so she can’t get out that way. “The door’s jammed!” Sophia sobs, still trying the window. “Sophia!” Carol cries. “Go, I’ll get her!” I yell, gently urging Carol with Lori. “My baby,” She cries. “I know. I’ll get her.” I promise. She nods hesitantly and goes with Lori and the other girls. Herschel’s still outside, shooting walkers down, and I’m pretty sure he hasn’t heard a single thing that’s going on. I stand up on the porch railing and grab onto the gutters, bending my knees to launch myself up onto the roof. My hip twinges even worse than before, but I ignore it. “Vittoria,” Sophia whines. “I know, Kid.” I hush, grunting as I fall to my knees in front of the window. My hip gave out. Shit! Now is not the time. The pain pulses through me as I push myself up again. “Move back,” I order, and Sophia shuffles back. I bust a hole in the window, large enough for me to climb through. The jagged glass catches my knee, but I ignore it, hugging Sophia as she launches herself at me. “I’m gonna break the door, but that’s going to be noisy, so more are gonna come, you get me?” I explain. Sophia nods, wiping frantically at her wet eyes. “Barely any of them have gotten to the back of the house, so we’re going to run out the back, and head straight for the woods, yeah?” I ask, brushing her hair away from her face. She nods. “Okay.” I sigh. I move away from her and try and jiggle the door handle. She’s right, it’s jammed. I take a deep breath – for the pain – and send my foot straight into the door. It budges, but only a little. I grunt, feeling the pain shoot straight across my hips. I take another deep breath and kick the door again. It doesn’t budge. I growl, and kick it again, harder. It flies open, banging hard against the wall, but I don’t care, grabbing Sophia’s hand and my sword and pulling her down the stairs and out the back door. My hip twinges, sending me to the floor. I gasp, immediately pushing Sophia up so she doesn’t fall, too. “Go, go,” I urge, pushing myself to my knees. Sophia loiters, waiting for me to get up. I grunt, standing up. I get tackled to the floor by a walker and Sophia screams. “Go! Run! Straight for the woods like I told you!” I plant my left hand against the walker’s forehead, trying to keep his snapping jaws away from me. Sophia sobs and stands there, in shock. “Go!” I growl, shoving my sword at her. She takes it, stumbling, before running off, straight for the woods. Just me and the walker. He snaps his jaws, and my hand slips, my pinkie finger and ring finger landing straight between his teeth. Dread grips me as he bites down. Cara’s knife is in my belt loop, but my hands are busy. I scream and kick the walker as hard as I can. He doesn’t budge, still gnawing on my fingers. His skin feels pretty squishy, and so does his skull. I take my chances and drive my right hand straight through the side of his head, and he drops dead on top of me. I gasp, sitting straight up, ignoring the pain in my hips and my fingers and push the dead weight off of me. My fingers are still intact, still attached to my hand. I’ve still got time, right? Before the virus spreads? I snatch Cara’s knife from my belt loop and do my best to separate my fingers from the non-bitten ones. I take a deep breath and bite my lip, to keep me quiet, and then I bring the knife down, hard . The bones snap and I growl, tears slipping down my cheeks. I push down harder, and my ring finger snaps off completely. I sob but keep pressing. Soon enough, my pinkie finger follows suit. I growl, ripping a bit of my undershirt off to use as bandages. I bandage my hand as best as I can with it and take off running the same way I saw Sophia run. My hips twinge more, but I can’t afford to drop again. Sophia’s counting on me, and I promised Carol. I just hope I cut the fingers off in time. Ivy’s POV Before Carol and Lori had ushered me, Beth and Patricia out of the house, I had emptied my backpack and filled it with stuff we’d need. Extra food from the kitchen – tinned, I ain’t an idiot – clothes, a little bit of everyone’s. I grab water bottles too and hope they don’t spill. I grabbed Thumper and stuffed him in the top of the backpack, too. On the outside, I shuffled mine and Sophia’s swords into the straps and then put the backpack on my back. I grabbed my crossbow and slung it over my shoulder, grabbing all the pretty bolts Vittoria had whittled for me and stuck them in the little holding spot on my crossbow. They didn’t all fit, so I had to leave some behind. Now, I’m in the backseat of a car with Lori and T-Dog in the front, and Beth in the back with me. Andrea had gotten out to help Carol, who had gotten chased away by walkers, trying to look back to see if Vittoria had saved Sophia yet. Patricia got eaten. Right in front of Beth. Carol and Andrea never came back. T-Dog keeps chattering up front, trying to get us all to talk. The only one answering him is Lori. She keeps steering the topic to Carl and Rick, asking if he thinks they’re okay. I just want my daddy. I want him to pick me up, set me on his hip and hug me and kiss me on the forehead like he usually does. Beth’s quiet. She keeps sniffling but looks out the window so no one can actually see if she’s crying or not. I get it. She was holding onto Patricia when she was getting eaten. “Hey, we gotta turn around.” Lori says, looking at Beth in her wing mirror. “Straight back to the herd?” T-Dog asks, as if she’s stupid. “Um, no.” “The highway’s back there. That’s where they’ll be.” Lori insists. I don’t want to ever see that highway ever again. “Rick will go back to where we first broke down, and Glenn too. Daryl will also.” “We’re headed east.” T-Dog says. “Get to the coast. We should’ve done that from the jump. Look, we’ve got a shot to get out of here in one piece.” “I gotta find Carl,” Lori says desperately. “He may have escaped with somebody. And Ivy needs her dad.” I hold back a sniffle. “I hate to say it, but they’re on their own. There’s no way to even begin to start looking.” T-Dog says. “You’re wrong!” Lori exclaims. “Look, we can’t go back.” T-Dog says. “I’m sorry, it’s suicide.” “All right, then let me out.” Lori says, opening her door. “Hey, woah!” T-Dog exclaims, swerving the car and then stopping. “Then you turn around, or you let us out right now.” Lori says firmly. “I should do it, you know!” T-Dog yells. I squeak and hide my face in my knees. “Okay?” “T-Dog.” Lori breathes. “You’re out of your damn minds,” T-Dog grunts. Lori pulls her door shut. T-Dog turns the car around. “You okay, Ivy, honey?” Lori asks, turning around to look at me. I sniff and nod. “Just startled you, huh?” Lori asks sympathetically. I nod again. “That’s alright.” Daryl’s POV Carol’s dead quiet behind me. She told me that Lori got Ivy out, so she’s most likely safe. But she said that Sophia got stuck in a room in the farmhouse and Vittoria promised her she would get her out. There’s been no sign of our shared soulmate and Sophia anywhere, and no sign of Lori and T-Dog, which means no sign of my little girl. On the way through the backroads, we spot the car that Glenn and Maggie were in to distract the walkers. Maggie turns around in her seat and waves at us through the back window. Carol waves over my shoulder. I let Glenn and Maggie lead us to the highway, before they get lost, so I have to take over. They follow behind me and Carol slowly, so as to not get right up our asses. Then a second car pulls up behind Maggie and Glenn, and they flash us to get us to stop. We do. My little girl is the first one out the car, bolting straight for me so fast that I barely have enough time to get off Merle’s motorcycle. She sobs into my shoulder, and I can’t do anything other than hold her tightly against my chest, burying my nose in her hair. I can hear Carol asking about Sophia and Vittoria, but I don’t pay attention to the answers. My little girl is safe in my arms again. It was hell leaving her with the women, but I knew that I was needed on the walker situation. I never would have done it if I thought we would have turned tail and bailed on the farm. “No one’s seen them?” Carol asks despondently. “No, ma’am.” T-Dog sighs, shaking his head. “I saw Vittoria bust the window, so she definitely got to Sophia, Carol,” Lori soothes, rubbing Carol’s arm. “The whole place was overrun! What if they were attacked before they could leave?” Carol worries. “That’s my little girl,” “Carol, tug on the soul-bond.” I say. “What?” Carol asks, panicked. “The slowly building bond we have with Vittoria, tug on it. She’s still alive.” I murmur, still holding Ivy close to my chest. “If Vittoria’s still alive, then there’s a very high chance that Sophia is, too.” Carol calms down a little, but she still seems worried. I get it. I would be pissing myself if it happened to Ivy. Forget the tough redneck thing I’ve got going on, I’d be shouting and bawling. Sophia’s POV I don’t know how long I’ve been running; stumbling and tripping over raised roots of trees. Vittoria’s sword is sheathed, I don’t know when she had time to do that, but the once cool leather of the sheathe has warmed considerably in my tight grip. I should probably unsheathe it, she most likely gave it to me so I could protect myself if it came down to it, but I can’t bring myself to stop running. Vittoria told me to run. She had growled it at me, keeping that massive walker away from snapping his jaws into her throat. I choke on a sob and have to stop running, to make sure I don’t actually choke properly. I hunch over with my hands on my knees, Vittoria’s sword on the forest floor in front of me. What if she’s dead? What if she’s like Cara now? Shuffling around on the farm, eternally hungry and never ceasing moving. It would be my fault. She died protecting me if she did die. Would she limp like she does now, even though she tries to hide it? I doubt it, walkers don’t feel pain. I’d like to believe that walkers aren’t inherently evil, after all, they were once alive and human, they had names and hobbies and lives and loved ones. But the hungry look I’ve seen on every walker’s face dashes that thought. The walker on top of Vittoria had looked so hungry, like it had been starved for months, and Vittoria was the first meal it had seen in however long. Cara had looked hungry, when she came stumbling out of the barn. I could see it. It was the same look Mom had whenever Daddy would deny her food, just for simply existing. It was the same look Mom had when I was still hungry, so she pushed her food onto my plate and went hungry. A twig snaps and I gasp, darting for Vittoria’s sword and unsheathing it shakily. It’s not a walker. It’s a boy, around Beth’s age. “You alright?” He asks, voice heavy and scratchy with dehydration. I nod shakily. “You lost?” He asks, slowly inching closer. I inch backwards, still brandishing Vittoria’s sword, just like she taught me. Her sword’s a bit bigger than the ones she had found me and Ivy, but the movement is still easy. “Hey, I’m not gonna hurt you. My name’s Cade, Cade Laurent, what’s yours?” The boy – Cade – says, holding his hands up. “Sophia Peletier.” I mumble, still holding the sword. “How old are you, Sophia? I’m fifteen,” Cade says amicably. “Twelve,” I answer, still not moving the sword. “Are you lost?” Cade asks again. I nod slowly. “My mom is around here, with my little brother, you could come with us?” Cade offers. “My...” I mutter and then realise I don’t really have a way to describe what Vittoria is to me. She’s my mom’s soulmate, but they’re not really close enough to call her my stepmom. I’ll just settle on friend. “My friend’s looking for me,” “Are they?” Cade asks. “Yeah, her name’s Vittoria, she’s ginger and has green eyes,” I describe. “Haven’t seen her.” Cade shakes his head. I still haven’t lowered the sword. “How old is she?” “Twenty-two, I think, she’s my mom’s soulmate.” I murmur, unsure on why I’m telling this stranger secrets. “Ah,” Cade nods. “We can wait with my mom and brother? You seriously look like you’re about to fall over.” I nod slowly, and gently lower Vittoria’s sword, picking up the sheathe and sliding the sword into it. Cade leads me gently through the woods, until we see a woman and a little boy. The woman is a carbon copy of Cade, long black hair falling in greasy waves down her shoulders, pretty dark brown – almost black – eyes on tanned skin. The little boy is on his mother’s hip, like Ivy used to always be with her dad. He’s a little less tanned, but his hair is in tight ringlets and freshly wet, probably having just been washed. His eyes are hazel, and big and bright the way little kids are. “This is Sophia, Sophia, this is my mom, Marie, and my little brother Mark.” Cade introduces. “Hi.” I say, bringing my hand up to wave. Mark happily smiles and waves at me too. He’s missing his front two teeth, the gummy gap not ruining his smile. “Sophia!” I hear from deep in the woods. It’s Vittoria! She must have been getting desperate if she’s yelling. “That your friend?” Cade asks, and I nod. “Shout for her, dearie,” Marie says kindly. Do they not know noise attracts walkers? Oh well. “Vittoria!” I screech as loud as I can, and I hear shuffled footsteps. I spin around and see a walker lurching out from behind a tree, reaching greedily for Mark and Marie. I don’t have time to react as it grabs onto Mark’s chubby little arm and he screeches, just as Cade pulls out a gun and shoots the corpse through the head. “That was close,” Marie gasps, clutching her son to her chest and checking his arms for injuries. She wipes away the bloody handprint to find that the skin wasn’t marred at all, and she breathes a sigh of relief, muttering in what I think is Spanish against Mark’s curls. Heavy, booted footsteps get closer to us and Cade lifts his gun again. “No,” I yelp, grabbing his arms. “That’s Vittoria, she wears ridiculously heavy combat boots,” Cade cocks an eyebrow and lowers his gun. Vittoria lurches through the treeline and comes to a panting stop a few steps away from me. “Sophia,” She breathes. “Vittoria.” I whisper. “You okay? You’re not bit, not hurt?” She asks immediately, stepping forward and planting her hands on my shoulders, looking me over for injuries. “No, I’m fine,” I gasp, pushing myself into her arms. She stumbles back slightly but takes my weight, hugging me tightly to her chest. She only hugs me with one arm, though. I pull back and notice there’s a bandage around her left hand, the hand she was using to hold back the walker on the farm. “Are you okay? What happened?” I ask, bringing her hand up. She’s missing two fingers; her pinkie and ring finger. Blood seeps through the makeshift bandage she has on, and she laughs breathlessly. “Got bit, I think I cut them off in time before the virus could spread though. But if I start getting sick; feverish, sluggish, you leave me behind, do you hear me?” She says quickly, pointing in my face. “Mhm,” I hum, handing her the sword back. “Thanks, Kid.” She sighs, ruffling my hair. Ivy’s POV Now that I’ve got Daddy back, I’m a little less mopey than before. And that’s mainly because I get to ride behind Daddy on the motorcycle, leading the others to the highway. We pull onto the highway, and Rick, Herschel and Carl are already there waiting for us. I immediately look around for Vittoria and Sophia, but they’re not there yet. Andrea’s not here yet, and neither is Jimmy. Carl and Rick run for Lori as soon as she gets out of the car, and Maggie and Beth run for Herschel. Carol gets out of the car and stares longingly at the woods, probably waiting for Vittoria and Sophia to come walking through the treeline. “Where’d you find everyone?” Rick asks. Daddy picks me up and sits me on his hip. “Well, those guys’ taillights zigzagging all over the road... Figured he had to be Asian, driving like that.” Daddy jokes. “Good one,” Glenn laughs sarcastically. “Where’s the rest of us? I know about Vittoria and Sophia,” Daddy asks. “We’re the only ones who made it so far,” Rick sighs. “What about Vittoria?” Maggie asks. “Sophia got locked in a room, Vittoria promised she would get her.” Carol sniffles, dutifully watching the treeline. I spot the car me and Sophia had hid under when the herd came shuffling through and shiver. Daddy holds me tighter. “We didn’t see them run past,” Rick says. “The walkers hadn’t gotten to the back of the house yet; they probably ran out the back. They might circle around in the woods,” T-Dog says. “There’s a neighbourhood out the back of the woods behind the house, they could have gotten there,” Maggie says desperately. “Maybe,” Rick agrees. “Shane?” Lori asks. Rick shakes his head solemnly. “Andrea?” Glenn asks. “She saved me, then I lost her.” Carol says, still not taking her eyes off of the woods. “We saw her go down,” T-Dog says. “Patricia?” Herschel asks. “They got her too.” Beth whimpers, “Took her right in front of me. I was... I was holdin’ onto her Daddy. She just...” She starts crying and Herschel holds her tighter. “What about Jimmy? Did you see Jimmy?” Beth asks suddenly. “He was in the RV,” Rick says, nodding. “It got overrun.” Beth sobs harder, and I cling onto Daddy’s neck. “You definitely saw Andrea?” Glenn asks, twisting to look at Carol. “There were walkers everywhere.” Lori says. “Did you see her?” Glenn pushes. No one answers him. Daddy hands me to T-Dog and moves for his motorcycle. “I’m gonna go back.” He says, and I whine, fighting against T-Dog's hold. He puts me down, but keeps a hand on my shoulder, keeping me against his legs. “No.” Rick denies. “Please, my daughter might still be there.” Carol pleads suddenly, snapping around to look at Rick. “Vittoria, too.” Herschel insists. “We can’t just leave them.” Daddy says. “We don’t even know if they’re there.” Lori says, on Rick’s side as always. “They aren’t there. They aren’t.” Rick insists. “They’re somewhere else or they’re dead. There’s no way to find them.” Carol sobs, holding her hand to her mouth, turning away to look at the trees again. I can hear her whimpering. “That’s my daughter .” Herschel grunts, still holding Beth against him. “Vittoria’s not your daughter, Herschel.” Lori sighs. “She’s as good as!” Herschel yells. “Yeah, she’s like our sister.” Beth says, small and soft. “My baby.” Carol whimpers, falling to her knees. “So, we’re not even going to look for them?” Glenn asks sadly. He’d gotten close to Vittoria too. And Andrea. “We gotta keep moving.” Rick says firmly. “There have been walkers crawling all over here.” “I say head east.” T-Dog says lowly. He looks a little sad too. He’s rubbing my shoulder gently. He was getting close with Vittoria, too. “Stay off the main roads.” Daddy sighs, grabbing his crossbow from his bike. “The bigger the road, the more walkers, more assholes like this one. I got him.” He shoots a bolt through the eye of a walker who was slowly making his way over to us. We load onto the vehicles again. We leave the car T-Dog, Lori, Beth and I came in because it was running low. I make sure to grab my backpack and crossbow. Daddy smiles and takes the crossbow from me, slinging it onto the bike with his, he also takes mine and Sophia’s swords, attaching them to the bike too. Carol continuously sniffles and Herschel, Maggie and Beth look longingly at the direction the farm is in. I don’t know if it’s the farm they’re looking for, or Vittoria. I’d be looking for Vittoria, if I wasn’t upset and tired. Daddy takes one look at my drooping eyes and gets me to swap places with Carol, piling into the red truck with Rick, Lori, Carl and T-Dog. I put my backpack on the floor, sitting behind Rick with Carl in the middle so he can curl up against his momma. Carol hugs tightly to Daddy’s back, and I can see her shoulders shaking, she’s probably crying again. I blink slowly and fall asleep against Carl’s shoulder. He sits up straight and wraps an arm around my shoulder, I can feel him do it just before I fall asleep. Vittoria’s POV The older woman introduces herself and her kids. “I’m Marie, my son, Mark, and my daughter , Maria.” The kid she points to when she says ‘daughter’ stiffens and scowls. Hm. Sophia cocks an eyebrow. I lean down to her once we start walking, going in random directions, just trying to get out of the woods. “He said his name was Cade, not Maria.” She says, clutching onto my hand. “You ever heard of transgender?” I ask softly, so as to not be overhead. “No, what’s that?” Sophia asks. “Sometimes, people can be born in the wrong bodies. A boy can be born in a girl’s body, and a girl can be born in a boy’s body.” I explain as best as I can. I’m not well versed in the subject, I only know about Cara’s transgender friend from school. Riley the girl had become Malcolm the boy. I didn’t question it. It wasn’t my place. I remember the other mams at school drop off and pick up being snotty about it, it had made Malcolm’s mam upset and she often stayed away from them. I made a big show about calling Malcolm his name and calling him a boy, and his mam had smiled at me as if I had done her the world of good. “That’s transgender?” Sophia asks. “Yeah, some people accept it, some people don’t. It’s not up to me, but personally I don’t care, people will be people. It’s hard for the transgender person, though. They have to go through a lot just so their body on the outside can match who they are on the inside.” I say. Sophia hums. “Should we call Cade his name instead of the name his momma told us?” She asks. “Yes.” I reply. “If he doesn’t want us to, he can tell us, but if he gave you his name with intentions of helping you and bringing you to his mother, then he’s probably fighting her on it, and maybe would like us to.” “Okay.” Sophia chirps. “Maria, Honey, take your brother, please.” Marie says. “It’s Cade, Mom.” Cade says but takes Mark anyway. The little boy stares at me from over his older brother’s shoulder and I stick my tongue out at him playfully. He giggles. He looks young, around four or five. “I named you Maria, you’ll stick with it.” Marie grits, turning to look at her son. “Do not backchat me, young lady.” Cade glowers at her but leaves it. Sophia gives him a sad look. I pat her on the shoulder, and she leans against me. My hip twinges and I fall over. I grunt. “You sick?” Cade asks. I don’t answer him, breathing heavily and groaning through the pain. “You sick?!” Marie demands. “No,” I whisper. The empty places where my fingers used to be throb dully, and I whimper quietly. “Vittoria’s got bad hips,” Sophia explains shyly. “The painkillers she needs are back at our farm, but it got overrun. And we had to ration them, anyway.” “She said she got bit.” Cade says sceptically. He tightens his hold on Mark. “I cut the fingers off for a reason.” I grit. “I don’t know if I got it in time, but I’m not feeling sick yet.” Sophia kneels next to me, rubbing my shoulders. I bend my back, pressing my forehead against a root of a tree. The pain is slowly ebbing away into the normal ache I can live with, but my hand is starting to hurt worse. “You get sick, we loot you and leave you behind.” Marie says firmly. “I’m alright with that, as long as you pop me in the head.” I laugh breathlessly. “Don’t let me turn into one of the dead.” “Can do.” Cade says softly. “And protect Sophia.” I add. “I promised her mam I would get to her.” “Vittoria,” Sophia whines. “Of course.” Marie nods. Marie and her sons give me and Sophia a little space, so I can pull myself together. “If it happens,” I whisper, shushing her when she tries to stop me. “You get Cara’s knife, you hear me? And my sword, don’t let them take them off you. You need to be able to protect yourself; with or without me or them. You know how to use the knife, and you know how to use the sword.” Sophia sniffles but nods, still kneeling next to me. “Good girl.” I nod, sitting up and pushing myself back to standing. I feel fine, other than the hand and my hips. No sickness, no fever. No virus, hopefully. Death won’t catch me today, I hope. I’ve got another little girl counting on me. I won’t let her down; not like I let Cara down. I won’t screw up again. Ivy’s POV I’m awoken by a car’s horn. Our car’s horn. By our car, I mean the one I’m riding in. “Whassit?” I mumble, sitting up. Carl laughs. I frown and dig him in the shoulder. He stops laughing. Lori just smiles at us. “We’ve ran out of gas.” T-Dog says from the passenger seat. We all get out of the cars and run up front. I run up to Daddy and he smiles, slipping off the motorcycle and picking me up, resting me on his hip. “You out?” Daddy asks Rick as he sidles up next to us. “Running on fumes.” Rick says. “We can’t stay here,” Maggie says. “We can’t all fit in one car,” Glenn says. “We’ll have to make a run for some gas in the morning,” Rick says. “Spend the night here?” Carol asks, wiping her nose on her sleeve. “I’m freezing,” Carl shivers. I’m still wearing Daddy’s flannel from before, but I’m still freezing, too. “We’ll build a fire, yeah?” Lori says, rubbing Carl’s chest to warm him up. “You go out looking for firewood, stay close,” Daddy says as Rick gives Lori his jacket to put on Carl. Daddy’s only wearing his short sleeved winged vest and a long-sleeved undershirt. “Only got so many arrows. How you doing on ammo?” “Not enough.” Rick answers. “We can’t just sit here with our asses hanging out,” Maggie insists. “Watch your mouth.” Herschel warns. “Everyone stop panicking and listen to Rick.” “All right, we’ll set up a perimeter.” Rick says, “In the morning, we’ll find gas and some supplies. We’ll keep pushing on.” “Glenn and I can go make a run now,” Maggie offers. “Try and scrounge up some gas,” “No,” Rick says, “We stay together. God forbid something happens and people get stranded without a car.” “Rick, we’re stranded now.” Glenn insists. “I know it looks bad, we’ve all been through hell and worse, but at least we found each other.” Rick grits, pacing back and forth like a scared animal. “I wasn’t sure... I really wasn’t... But we did. We’re together. We keep it that way.” “My little girl is out there still.” Carol responds blankly. “So is one of mine.” Herschel adds. “Andrea, too. We’re not all together.” Glenn says. Rick ignores them. “We’ll find shelter somewhere. There’s gotta be a place.” He sighs. “Rick, look around. Okay?” Glenn sighs, “There’s walkers everywhere, they’re migrating or something.” “There’s gotta be a place not just where we hole up, but we fortify, hunker down, pull ourselves together; build a life for each other!” Rick exclaims. “I know it’s out there; we just have to find it.” Rick grits, spit tumbling from his lips onto the floor. Eww. “Even if we do find a place,” Maggie says, “and we think it’s safe, we can never be sure. For how long? Look what happened with the farm. We fooled ourselves into thinking that that was safe.” “We won’t make that mistake again.” Herschel promises. “We’ll make camp tonight, over there,” Rick points to a falling-down structure off the side of the road. “Get on the road by the break of day.” I cling to Daddy’s neck as everyone agrees, meandering over to the structure. “Does this feel right to you?” Carol asks Daddy. “What if walkers come through, or another group like Randall’s?” Beth asks Rick. “You know I found Randall, right?” Daddy asks, shifting me higher on his hip. “He had turned, but he wasn’t bit.” “How’s that possible?” Beth asks. “Rick, what the hell happened?” Lori asks. I can tell Rick is getting a bit overwhelmed. “Shane killed Randall,” Daddy observes. “Just like he always wanted to.” “And then the herd got him?” Lori asks. The silence is almost loud after that. “We’re all infected.” Rick mumbles finally. What? “What?” Daddy asks, stalking closer to Rick. “At the C.D.C., Jenner told me. Whatever it is, we all carry it.” The rest of the group is silent after Rick finishes speaking. Daddy walks off to the little structure, taking me with him. I don’t get to hear the rest of what Rick says. Vittoria’s POV We walk through the woods until we find a road nestled between two parts of the woods, and then we walk along the road until it’s nightfall. Me and Sophia stay at the back of the little ragtag group. Mark is waddling happily between Marie and Cade, holding one of their hands each. Sophia constantly looks up at me, to make sure I’m not keeling over again. I’ve keeled over twice since the first time. Marie finds it appropriate to tell me she’ll loot me every time I do. She’s probably fighting the urge to just kill me. I’m fighting the urge to wring her throat, so we’re even. Then, I spot a very familiar tree as we’re walking. One of the thinner branches of the tree curls like a love heart before dipping into a jagged peak where the rest of it snapped off. Kids from my school used to play here when I was like nine, and they’d try and get me to come play with them, too, but when I was nine, my dad was constantly getting my mam pregnant, despite her many miscarriages and stillborns, and she was alone with me to walk me to and from school. She was leaning against me, all tired and achy. I’d decline, and she’d smile at me, but she wasn’t really looking at me, more looking through me. Mine and Cara’s house is like ten minutes away from here. A crumbling little structure is four minutes away, too. Cara loved to play there. “If we keep walking with the road, my old house is like ten minutes away.” I announce, breathing heavily. These guys have no water, and we haven’t found any yet. We’re all dehydrated. “Really?” Sophia asks. “Yeah, see that tree with the love heart?” I point to the tree. She nods. “It’s nearly eleven minutes to my house from there. I got bored walking home, once. I counted.” “Can we crash there?” Marie asks, eyeing me warily. She still thinks I’m infected, but if I was infected, the fever would have taken me by now. Although, I do feel a bit hot. But my skin is physically cold. I’ve never been in the vicinity of a changing walker, but I think these symptoms aren’t good. I feel weak, too, and dizzy sometimes. Sophia’s been hovering near me in case I fall. “Obviously,” I roll my eyes, but it makes me go dizzy, so I immediately stop. “You don’t look too good.” Marie says almost excitedly. “Yeah? Well, I’m not dead yet.” I huff, continuing on walking. My heart pounds away in my chest, and I’m pretty sure that’s not a good sign either. I manage the four minutes to the crumbling structure, spotting it in the little distance. There’s a light flickering in it, probably a fire, but I don’t have time to question it. Because I’m keeling over again, wonderful. “Vittoria!” Sophia yelps, dropping to her knees next to me, but everything sounds as if I’m under water and everything hurts. My vision goes blurry, so I close my eyes. I hear a gun cock, and Cade mumbling something to his mam. Everything stops as someone comes running and drops to their knees beside my head. “Vittoria?” “Sophia?” “Mommy!” Ivy’s POV Everyone settles down as the sun begins to set. I’m against Daddy’s chest, trying to go to sleep. “What’s in that backpack of yours, Ivy?” T-Dog asks, accidentally startling me. “A little bit of everything,” I shrug. “Food, water, clothes.” Everyone’s jaws drop. “You’re a lifesaver, Ivy!” Glenn laughs. I shrug, my cheeks heating up. Maggie goes to fetch my backpack from the car it’s in. “We’re not safe with him,” Carol sniffles quietly, shifting in next to me and Daddy. “Keeping something like that from us. Why do you need him? He’s just going to pull you down.” “Nah.” Daddy disagrees, tucking me against his chest tightly. “Rick’s done all right by me. And Ivy.” “You’re his henchman, and I’m a burden.” Carol says. “You deserve better.” “What do you want?” Daddy asks. But I think Carol just wants Sophia back. “My daughter back. And a man of honour.” Carol responds. “Rick has honour.” Daddy counters. I doze off against Daddy’s chest but wake up a little when he leans me against Carol and stands up. I go back to my little doze. I wake up immediately when we all hear a dull thump on concrete, and shrill yelp of “Vittoria!”. It sounds like Sophia. Herschel’s immediately on his feet, and so is Carol, and both of them are bolting for where we heard the thump. Everyone follows them. It is Sophia! And Vittoria, too! Though, Vittoria is still on the ground with a woman standing over her, a gun cocked in her hand. “Vittoria?” Herschel gasps, sliding to his knees despite his old age. Sophia moves out of his way when Vittoria’s chest moves up and down raggedly. “Sophia?” Carol whimpers. “Mommy!” Sophia exclaims, launching herself at her mom. “What happened?” Daddy demands, pacing behind me. “She collapsed.” The woman shrugs. Then I notice the two boys behind her, one taller and older, another smaller and younger, probably younger than me. “No shit, Sherlock.” Vittoria rasps, her voice dry and cracked. “Watch your mouth,” Herschel laughs wetly, rolling her onto her back to check her for injuries. “She got bit, she’s done for.” The woman speaks up again, shrugging, as if a human life means nothing to her. “Nuh-uh!” Sophia argues, still holding onto Carol. “She cut ‘em off!” “Cut what off, Sophia?” Herschel asks, frantically checking over Vittoria. Vittoria weakly lifts her left hand, revealing only three fingers and a crudely wrapped bandage, soaked in enough blood to be dripping. “You idiot woman!” Herschel exclaims, snapping his head up to the unnamed woman. “She’s not feverish with the virus, she’s bleeding out!” Daddy immediately slips into action, kneeling down next to Herschel and lifting Vittoria into his arms, like the way husbands do for their wives when they first walk into their shared house when they get married. “Get her to the fire, we need to cauterise those wounds before she can lose any more blood,” Herschel demands, forcing himself up. Daddy walks as quick as he can with Vittoria in his arms, laying her down next to the fire. Herschel takes the crude bandage off as soon as he can, and I gag at the sight underneath it. “What’d she use to cut them off?” Herschel demands, assessing the wounds. “I don’t know,” Sophia stammers, “she gave me her sword and told me to run.” “Hey, calm down.” Herschel soothes. “You do know.” “Her... Cara’s knife.” Sophia says suddenly. “It’s all she had on her.” Herschel grabs Cara’s knife from Vittoria’s belt loop and grimaces at the blood coating the blade. He washes it off as best as he can on his pants and holds it above the fire, watching the metal heat up. “Kids, look away. Someone hold her down and cover her mouth.” Herschel demands. Lori and Carol take me, Sophia and Carl away from Vittoria, huddling with the new woman and her two sons. There’s muffled screaming and sobbing, and leaves crunching as Vittoria probably thrashes. I sneak a look. Herschel is pressing the red blade against Vittoria’s hand, Daddy has her head in his lap and is covering her mouth, and Rick is holding her down, straddling her legs to keep her from kicking at Herschel. I gag and look away, curling into Carol’s side. Vittoria better survive this. I don’t know what we’ll do if she doesn’t.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Ivy’s POV
Vittoria passes out fully after Herschel finishes cauterising her missing fingers.
“We need her awake.” Marie – she had introduced herself and her two sons to distract her sons from Vittoria’s muffled screams – insists.
“Why.” Daddy drawls boredly, I think he’s already sick of this new woman. I am too. She insists she has a daughter, but Cade is so boyish that I think she might be blind.
“She said her house was like ten minutes away from here,” Cade says, a lot more kindly than his mother.
“That could have been the blood loss talking,” Herschel shoots down, holding Vittoria’s limp body across his lap. Rick is pacing angrily next to the wall.
“No,” Sophia disagrees. “She sounded right; she even told us why she knew. Ten minutes away from the tree with the love heart looking branch.”
“I saw that, it looked cool,” Carl says, leaning against his momma. I’m sat in front of Vittoria and Herschel, holding Vittoria’s uninjured hand.
“Will she survive it?” I ask quietly. Daddy looks over at me and gives me a soft look.
“Vittoria’s a survivor, she survived this long,” Maggie shrugs, sitting next to Herschel. She looks worried though. Her hands fidget on her lap, like she wants to touch Vittoria to make sure she’s breathing. I keep doing the same thing. I’ve got her pulse underneath my fingers and my eyes keep drifting down to her chest to make sure it’s moving up and down.
“We can try and find her house, there would be pictures of her and her family where we can see in the windows, right?” Cade points out.
“It’s too dark.” Rick answers. “We can in the morning. When Vittoria wakes up. There might be things in her house she doesn’t want us to see or know about.”
“The world ended, that doesn’t matter anymore.” Marie disagrees, cocking her hip.
“It matters.” Herschel grits.
Vittoria mumbles something, and everyone snaps their heads towards her, until she settles down again. Herschel caresses her hair softly.
I almost don’t notice the change in Vittoria’s pulse. It slows down, until it stops completely, and her chest stops moving up and down with her breathing.
“Herschel,” I mumble, but no one hears me other than Maggie. She spies the lack of movement from Vittoria.
“Daddy, she ain’t breathing.” She announces, and Herschel’s head snaps downwards.
Daddy grabs me away from Vittoria so Herschel and Maggie can set her down on the floor and start giving her CPR. Everyone’s panicking. Daddy and Carol have devastated looks on their faces, I don’t know what it’s like for a soulmate to die, but I can imagine it’s like getting split in half.
Herschel’s grunting and breathing heavily as he practically slams his fists down on Vittoria’s chest, and Maggie is giving her mouth to mouth, breathing heavily herself.
“She might not have enough blood for her heart to pump around,” Lori says.
“Is that even possible?” Marie wonders absently.
“Shut your mouths.” Herschel grunts, just as Vittoria’s breathing kick starts with a heavy gasp and she settles down again, her chest moving up and down sluggishly.
Carol and Daddy breathe sighs of relief, and Herschel goes back to caressing Vittoria’s hair. She’s still covered in blood, either her own or walkers’, it doesn’t matter, it’s still a mottled painting of red, black and brown on her skin and in her hair.
I end up falling asleep at some time, I don’t know when, but I wake up curled against Daddy’s side. The sun shines brightly, despite the freezing air. Vittoria’s breathing is still sluggish, but at least she’s breathing.
Herschel catches me staring and smiles softly. “She stopped breathing again only once. She’s a lot more stable now. We’re just waiting for her to wake up.”
She died again? Isn’t that bad? Dying’s always bad.
“Daddy nearly broke her ribs trying to get her heart beating again.” Beth says.
“How do you know if she
will
wake up? She might be in a coma,” Marie huffs unhelpfully.
“Go away.” Maggie grits, glaring at her.
Vittoria mumbles something, screwing up her eyes before cracking them open. She panics a little, but Herschel calms her down immediately.
Vittoria’s POV
The pain was searing; worse than when I cut the damn fingers off. Rick’s weight on my hips and thighs had brought back bad memories, but Daryl’s hands had been gentle, soft but firm enough to not let me scream. If I screamed, we’d be screwed. Though Marie was asking for a kick up the fanny, not like I’d be strong enough to give her one.
When I was asleep, I saw my mam. Not the one I only saw in passing, falsely happy. The one who I actually grew up with; uncaring and selfish and only occasionally loving.
My mam had hated me. I represented what she had been forced to do. I was her pain and suffering personified. She only loved me when she had clarity, when she broke through that broken doll face, when the real her had shined through. When she told me to not let my father break me as she let him break her. When she asked me to look after Cara when she was pregnant, when she asked me to help her with her hair, to help her with anything.
She called me Twig or Twiggy because of how skinny I am, ignoring the fact that I’m skinny because she forgot to feed me. She was happy when my father turned his lecherous eyes to me, just so she could have some reprieve, but she stroked my hair and told me she was sorry that he did that to me. I had seen her bargain for some time to herself, implying that my door didn’t have a lock and that he could entertain himself some other way.
I was never mad at her for hating me, I could never. I w
as
mad that she didn’t try to protect me.
Sometimes, Cara looked so much like that lecherous man that I had to look away from her for a few minutes. She acted like him, too, in some ways. They talked the same way, even walked the same way somehow. But I had never left her alone with him. Hell, I never let her see him unless it was every other weekend like we had agreed upon. She had never known his hands, or anything else about him.
I loved my mother, but I hated her, too.
When I saw her when I was asleep, she was looking at me like she always used to. Straight through me. She didn’t see me; she saw her pain. She saw the scared little girl she used to be and
hated
it. She had told me so.
“I hated you.” She had said, a frown pulling at her chapped lips. “I don’t know how I could have hated you. You were so small.”
“I understand,” I had told her, blissfully numb of all pain. My fingers weren’t hurting, and neither were my hips.
“You shouldn’t have had to, Twig.” She had said. That was the real version of my mam. She couldn’t love me but felt sorry that she couldn’t.
“But I do. It’s done now.” I shrug.
“I wasn’t strong enough to be your mother. But you...
You
were strong enough to be Cara’s.” She had said. My throat had choked up, and I almost started crying.
“You should come with me.” She had offered, “Cara’s here, she’s been asking for you.”
“Where’s here?” I asked.
“The other side, the end, Heaven, whatever you want to believe.” She had explained.
I was tempted for a minute, had almost reached my hand out to her, but I forgot that I had people that would miss me. People who would be upset if I didn’t wake up. But Cara...
My little girl
.
I shook my head softly, and her face had fallen. She held her hand out for me, and I took it. My mam pulled me with her somewhere, into a familiar room.
My mother’s side of the family has a lot of rich heritage. There are many giant family homes that my father wanted access to, but my mother wouldn’t let him, and I didn’t either when I got them in my mother’s will. The room was one I had seen many times when my father was on one of his month-long benders, so my mother took me to one of her houses to get away from the house he made us live in.
The house me and Cara moved into was one of my mother’s smaller inherited houses. I found a few thousand dollars in multiple cupboards and scattered around the place, so I used it to decorate Cara’s room and to buy her clothes and toys. I had a thousand dollars left of it after and spent it on my room. I was fifteen, then.
The familiar room she had dragged me into was the Beehive, as Cara affectionately called it.
“I like what you did with the place,” My mother had said. It used to be her childhood home, the place she spent most of her time.
“Vittoria?” I heard Cara ask, and my chest had tightened. All traces of how she had died wasn’t there. She had both hands; her scalp was in place and there wasn’t a gaping hole in her chest where her heart used to be. She looked like the little girl I tucked into bed every night. Not the walker I had put down.
“Hi, Baby,” I had whispered, and she had come running for me. She couldn’t touch me like my mother had, her hands went straight through me, and her little face twisted with upset.
I looked to my mother for answers.
“You died for a few minutes, Twig.” She had explained. “It’s why I could touch you. Your friends are determined to keep you alive,” She smiled bitterly.
I stayed asleep for a few hours more, and I died again. Cara took the time to hug me and tell me she was sorry. Then she fell through me again a few seconds later. Herschel must be really determined to keep me alive.
I’m awake now, I know, I can hear Herschel shushing me and Maggie fussing next to me. It was so quick; I didn’t even get to say goodbye.
“Oh, good, she’s awake, can we leave now?” Marie asks.
“You’re asking for a smack, Lady.” I grit, pushing myself up from Herschel’s lap slowly.
“You shouldn’t be getting up, yet, Sweetheart,” Herschel warns.
“I’m fine, we need to get to my house, right?” I shrug.
“You stay up front with Rick, then.” Herschel compromises. “If you collapse again, he’ll catch you.”
“Whatever,” I huff. Rick gives me a small smile.
When everyone’s got their stuff together, me and Rick lead the way. Rick hovers next to me with his hands poised to catch me like Sophia did.
The front garden has a walker in it, salivating at the glass of the kitchen window. Daryl shoots a bolt, and it goes down. The curtains are closed, but there’s audible growling coming from the kitchen.
“Great walker-infested house,” Marie says snidely.
“Mom,” Cade reprimands.
I try the door, it’s locked, just how I left it.
“I don’t know how it got in; I locked the door. Force of habit,” I shrug.
“Back door?” Daryl asks.
“Locked, too.” I answer.
“Anyone died in there, that you know of?” Rick asks. “Let anyone in?”
“My father.” I shrug, as if I don’t remember how exactly he ended up locked in the kitchen. “But no walkers can get in, so how did he end up turning?”
“We’re all infected.” Rick says, jolting slightly when I snap my head to look at him. “Whatever it is, we all carry it. If you die without head trauma, you turn.”
“You’re joking.” I grunt, head going dizzy.
“Nope.” Glenn shakes his head. T-Dog nods.
“So, he starved to death in there? A kitchen, with food?” Marie asks.
“No, he got stabbed, I left him.” I huff, grabbing the spare key from the plant pot.
“The kitchen door is shut, so we’ll be fine.” I assure, opening the door.
There’s a thin layer of dust covering everything, but otherwise it’s exactly how I left it. Cara’s homework is strewn across the coffee table, her colouring pencil pot tipped over in our haste to leave. Cara’s headphones are still on the floor.
The walker slams against the kitchen door as I let everybody into the house and lock the door again.
I slump against the settee. “There’s a stash of non-perishable food in the basement.” I say, and Rick’s immediately on it.
“You’re not going to put him down? He's your dad,” Marie butts in.
“Go ahead,” I shrug, gesturing towards the kitchen door. “Your fault if he eats you.”
“Isn’t there more food in the kitchen?” Cade asks.
“Yeah, but someone other than your mother will be killing the walker.” I answer.
“Why?” Cade asks.
“Because she’s a mug.” I shrug. Marie bristles and cocks her gun, pointing it at my forehead.
Then T-Dog is holding his to her head.
“You shoot her, you go down, too.” He says firmly.
“It’d be worth it. Your attitude has been annoying me since we met.” Marie smiles bitterly.
“You’d leave your kids all alone just to shut me up? Bad parenting, if you ask me.” I shrug, not at all concerned about my life. Marie had run out of bullets an hour after me and Sophia met her.
“Don’t goad me. Your life is in my hands.” Marie grits.
“And your life is in T-Dog's hands. Plus, you ran out of bullets.” I shrug.
Marie’s face goes red as T-Dog pulls the gun away, obviously deciding she’s not worth it.
“Sit down, Rick’ll take that thing away from you when he hears you pointed it at someone else in the group.” Maggie orders, just as Rick comes upstairs holding a plastic bag full of tinned food. Marie quickly puts her gun down.
“Who’s pointing what?” Rick asks, noting the tense air.
“My mom threatened Vittoria with her gun.” Cade snitches.
“Maria,” Marie hisses, smacking her oldest son on the arm.
“Cade, Mom. It’s Cade, everyone else uses it, why can’t you?” Cade argues, snatching his mother’s gun out of her hands.
Rick takes it from him and hands it to Daryl.
“Someone taking care of that walker?” Daryl asks.
“Vittoria don’t you dare get up. You still need to rest.” Herschel demands.
“Alright, Dad,” I groan sarcastically.
“I thought you said your dad was the walker in the kitchen?” Marie says, obviously trying to catch me out in a lie.
“I adopted her.” Herschel sighs easily.
“I agreed to nothing.” I grunt.
“I’d say you agreed to a lot,” Rick says, opening the door to the kitchen.
My dad comes tumbling out, the steak knife embedded in his throat bobbing as he growls and swipes at Rick’s feet. Rick puts him down easily.
“You burying him?” Rick asks, looking over at me.
“No.” I squeak. Herschel is checking my fingers, or nubs, or whatever they are. They’re healing better than they were before.
Rick and Daryl explore the kitchen, stepping over the dried blood on the floor and rooting through my cabinets.
Herschel finishes checking and redressing my fingers, so I get up and wander through my old house. I end up outside Cara’s bedroom.
There’s a bloody handprint on the door, where I pushed the door open to help her pack her stuff up, and the place is messy.
Marie ends up behind me. “You had a daughter? This is her room, right? And there’s pictures of you with a black-haired little girl all around the house. Where is she?” She asks, staring into Cara’s room.
“Know the farm me and Sophia told you about?” I answer softly. I decidedly don’t tell her I didn’t birth Cara.
“Why is she there?” Marie demands angrily. “You said it was overrun; how could you just leave her?”
“She’s dead.” I hum, blankly. “The dead got to her before the farm was overrun.”
I walk off back to the group.
“The kids can have a look in Cara’s bedroom for clothes that’ll fit them, don’t worry, Carl, she wasn’t one for dresses and skirts.” I direct them to Cara’s bedroom, Ivy giving me an almost sad look as she goes.
Marie wanders back in, and I tell her there should be some of Cara’s old things in the basement for Mark, and I tell Rick there’s my mam’s old maternity things in the basement, too, for when Lori gets bigger.
“What about us?” Glenn laughs.
“My dad’s house is around the block, number eight with the boarded-up kitchen window, his stuff should fit you, T-Dog, Rick, Daryl and Herschel.” I tell him.
Glenn and T-Dog are out of the door and around the block quickly. I make sure they lock the door behind them.
The girls are without clean clothes, too.
“My wardrobe is full of my mam’s stuff, should fit all of you,” I tell them, and let them follow me to my bedroom.
Cara’s toy box is still at the bottom of my wardrobe. I ignore it. The girls let me get first pick because it’s my wardrobe, so I pick all of the sentimental stuff.
My mam’s wool sweater, my mam’s fluffy socks, you get the drill. Marie finds her way into my bedroom too.
I leave them to it, grabbing one of the many backpacks in my house to put the new clothes in. I wander back into the living room, and Glenn and T-Dog are back, holding bags of clothes.
Everyone comes back in, except for Marie, who’s still looking through my clothes. Cade holds Mark on his lap, and I realise that Cade didn’t get new clothes.
“You can look through my dad’s stuff, Cade,” I offer, and he shakes his head.
“Nah, got plenty of clothes in my bag, my mom and brother just steal out of it,” Cade shrugs.
“Suit yourself,” I hum.
“We need to kit up, it’ll be getting colder, soon,” Herschel says, kitted up in my dad’s warm clothes.
“Vittoria, can I talk to you in the kitchen, please?” Rick asks.
I look to Herschel for permission, and he nods. “Just sit down in there, can’t be standing for too long.”
I step over the walker’s body, but T-Dog is already up and dragging it out of the way, Glenn unlocking the door so they can throw him outside.
Rick shuts the door to the kitchen as soon as we’re in there and lets me sit down at the cozy little table in the corner.
“That steak knife, in the walker’s neck, it matches the ones in your kitchen.” Rick says absentmindedly. “He didn’t just get stabbed by anyone; he was stabbed by
you
. Why?”
“You really going to make me explain?” I quirk an eyebrow.
“The safety of the group is vital; I need to know that you’re not going to stab anyone else.” Rick says firmly.
“He was a vile man.” I grit. “He beat my mam and me, he was going to beat Cara, too, if I hadn’t killed him.”
“That’s all I needed.” Rick says gently. “I’m sorry he did that to you.”
“Yeah, whatever,” I get up and leave the kitchen, slumping back down into my seat. Marie comes back out, wearing my mam’s necklace with her initial on it.
“I said clothes, not jewellery.” I grit.
“It’s pretty, and we’ll be leaving this place soon, anyway.” Marie rolls her eyes.
“Give it back.” I snap. I can’t even remember where I had put that the last time I took it off.
“Finder's keepers,” Marie sneers. “Plus, my husband’s name started with ‘N’.”
“It’s Vittoria’s house,” Glenn cringes.
“See the screw on top of the ‘N’? That’s the lid. That necklace holds my grandma’s ashes in it.” I roll my eyes, watching her face fall and quickly pull the necklace off.
She gives me the necklace back quickly, too.
Rick starts the food cooking, closing the curtains so walkers don’t catch sight of it.
We eat, and after, I fall asleep.
Ivy’s POV
Months pass and it gets colder and colder, enough to freeze the walkers or at least slow them down. I miss Vittoria’s house; it was at least warm. But we had to leave it behind when a herd came passing through and nearly broke the windows.
It’s getting a little warmer now, enough that I can take a few layers off, and the grass isn’t white when we wake up.
Just because it’s warmer doesn’t mean everything got better, though. Lori’s sick, Herschel says we need medicine for her, but that was the one thing I couldn’t grab from Herschel’s house, and the leftover medicine we got from Vittoria’s house wasn’t the medicine we needed, though it did help with Vittoria’s fingers and some of Lori’s pains.
We’ve been walking for ages now, trying to find a hospital that hasn’t been looted already. I’m held up on Daddy’s hip, looking around for hospitals.
This new town we’re in is confusing, too many twists and turns. Glenn comes running back to the group, having split up with Rick and T-Dog.
“We found one, but we can’t get into the door, there’s keys in the inside keyhole.” Rick says, looking over to me and Daddy.
“There is, however, a very Ivy-sized hole in the wall.” T-Dog says quickly, probably trying to avoid getting smacked by Daddy for even suggesting.
“You want my daughter to get into that probably walker-infested hospital?” Daddy says, raising an eyebrow. “Can you not break a hole in the window?”
“This place used to be rough, I guess,” Glenn says, “The glass is reinforced.”
“I can do it, Daddy, it’s to help Lori, right?” I pipe up, looking at him.
“She gets bitten, dies or whatever, I beat you to death.” Daddy says easily, putting me down on the floor.
“Daryl, you stay here and help protect the group, Ivy, come on.” Rick says, offering me his hand.
Daddy’s hands spasms, probably because he doesn’t want to leave me.
When me, T-Dog, Rick and Glenn get back to the hospital that they had seen before, I see the very small hole in the concrete next to the door. Calling it Ivy-sized is stretching it. I’d barely be able to fit in there.
“You can do it, right, Sweetheart?” Rick says, letting go of my hand. I nod.
Glenn hands me his knife, “If one of them grabs you, yeah? You know how to use it?”
I nod. A walker, attracted by our talking, slams against the door, salivating for us. That’s too close to the hole.
“We’re going to go to the far windows and attract them, you just focus on getting that door unlocked.” Rick says, ruffling my hair.
I wait until I see all of the walkers wander off down the halls to where Rick, T-Dog and Glenn are banging on the windows and calling for them. I slip my right leg in first, as soundlessly as I can, then my left leg follows. I shimmy my hips in, then my stomach, my ribs follow, then my head and arms and then finally my hands. There are a few scrapes on my elbows where I accidentally caught them, but that’s about it.
A walker down the hall must smell me, as it turns its head to where I am. It runs for me, causing all the walkers to follow it. Panic settles in my tummy, and I quickly stand up, twisting the keys until the door unlocks, and then I push the doors open and run out. Rick catches me and passes me over to Glenn.
“Take her back to Daryl,” Rick orders, and him and T-Dog tackle on the hospital.
Glenn carries me back to Daddy, letting me hide my face in his neck as I calm down from the brief panic.
I feel Daddy take me from Glenn, and then Glenn is running back to the hospital.
“You okay, Bambi?” Daddy asks, rubbing my back.
I nod, curling into him.
“Okay,” he sighs, putting me down on a brick wall in-between Sophia and Vittoria.
Rick, T-Dog and Glenn come back empty handed, well, not really, they got antibiotics and painkillers and medical stuff, just not the specific medicine that Lori needs. They’re disappointed, and Rick almost looks close to crying.
We’re back on the move soon after, Vittoria and Herschel stay behind with Lori, with Daddy behind them while Rick leads, the kids and women in the middle.
We come across a pharmacy, also with reinforced glass and locked doors. Cade demonstrates his affinity for picking locks.
Vittoria goes in first, despite Herschel telling her to take it easy. She just waves him off and waltzes in, since she’s the only one who knows what specific medicine Lori needs. All Herschel knew is that there was a specific medicine for Lori’s illness, but Vittoria’s mom had actually had the illness too, while pregnant with Cara, so she knew exactly what Lori needed. Rick follows her into the building.
A few minutes later, we can hear Rick’s relieved sobbing and he comes racing out of the pharmacy, opening up a bottle of pills and offering them out to Lori.
“Two every four hours,” Vittoria advises, putting the other medicines she found into the bag we have specifically for that kind of stuff.
“Thank you,” Lori sniffs, smiling. Vittoria nods.
After Lori is sorted, we’re on the move again to find a place to stay for the night. My feet hurt, and my legs ache, but I reckon Vittoria and Lori are in more pain than I am, so I don’t complain and just keep walking.
“I’m cold,” Sophia whines, bundling up into her mother’s side.
“We don’t have any more coats, Sweetheart,” Carol says sadly.
Vittoria shrugs her green flannel off, draping it over Sophia’s shoulders.
“Vittoria.” Herschel scolds.
“What? I’m used to the cold.” She shrugs.
“You’re injured, and just because you’re used to the cold doesn’t mean you’re immune to hypothermia.” Herschel sighs, exasperated.
“I’m fine, this t-shirt is thermal.” Vittoria says, rolling her eyes.
“If you die of hypothermia, it’s your fault.” Herschel shakes his head.
T-Dog takes the opportunity to shrug his massive winter coat off, revealing that he has two of Vittoria’s dad’s sweaters on underneath. Vittoria takes the coat and puts it on, gesturing to Herschel.
“Happy now?” She asks, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Very.” Herschel nods.
“Quit bickering,” Rick says, looking back briefly before continuing walking.
We keep following him, until Lori needs a break, and Vittoria reluctantly admits that she also needs a break.
Rick and Daddy let us stop, but they go out into the woods to see if they can find a place to stop for the night or find food.
We’ve stopped next to a stream, so Beth starts washing clothes, and Maggie and Marie fill up water bottles to boil once we’ve settled.
Rick and Daddy come back, Rick with a determined expression and Daddy looking wary.
“Found a permanent place,” Rick announces.
“A prison.” Daddy adds.