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From the first moment he’d heard tales of Hold Heroes from his mother Freja, he knew that one day, he would grasp such a title of his own. Some said it was naive ambition. Many children wish to become Heroes, after all. Determination burned in his heart and soul to prove them wrong. He would hone his skills; swordsmanship, shield technique, finesse, and strength from his father. Sharpen his mind with his mother, and eventually climb the 7,000 steps of the Throat of The World.He would often be found in the fields as a boy, battling imaginary Draugr armies with a wooden toy sword that glimmered like steel in his mind’s eye. Challenging Vampire Lords, or riding Dragons, then complain as any child would when his story was interrupted for supper.Now…Here he stood. His swordsmanship now interwoven with his sense of honor. His shield scuffed and scraped, having protected both him and his comrades from blade and bow. His body sculpted in strength’s vision and painted with the scars of his hardships.No longer did he run through golden reeds with a vision of grand feats and fierce battles. No longer did he await his mother’s gentle hand to weave his golden waves into braids. No longer did he look on at the summit enviously from the very bottom, for he had taken the first step in climbing it.The crackling and flickering brazier flames danced across the sharp planes of his face, and reflected in his hazel eyes. The Dragonfire of his spirit which had once been hidden now burned freely.With a deep exhale, he slowly rose from kneeling to standing tall. The long braids his hair was wrapped in fell past his shoulders. The decorative metal rings clasped in the braids were cool against his skin. Two beats of the drums echoed through the grand halls of Dragonsreach.“Solveig Jorgaeld.”How many people knew that name? Many in Whiterun, even before the battle with Mirmulnir The Golden Hunter. Now many more. But how many knew the man behind it?Far less.He put those thoughts away. The smooth leather of a blade’s handle was placed in his waiting hand. A large round shield with Whiterun’s golden mare painted on its surface was placed in the other.
Put away all doubts.
Another beat of the drums. He breathed in the scent of the brazier smoke and old wood.
Put aside all fear.
His opponent’s shadow stretched across the planks, blocking the light of the bright center hearth. He raised his gaze and steadied his nerves, rubbing the handle of his blade with his thumb out of habit. Hrongar’s burly form stood across from him, his torso freshly painted in the same dark paint that had now dried over Solveig’s cheeks and forehead; a ceremonial runic pattern embodying the spirits of both hawk and bear. The man’s shoulders were like knotted oak. Solveig wasn’t small by any means, but Hrongar was a touch taller and embodied the phrase ‘strong as a bear’. In his right hand he wielded an axe of traditional Nordic craftsmanship. His left idly clenched and unclenched at his side.Mere hours before this moment, he had faced the first dragon to be reborn in the current era. A living myth slain by a bolt fired by his hands. The people of Whiterun had witnessed his hand raising that Skyforge Steel blade towards the blue sky that still had streaks of smoke lingering, but the glint of the metal had been a symbol of victory.Hope.Tonight, they celebrated both that victory and that hope. Jarl Balgruuf had pulled him aside after the initial ceremony- which Solveig had later learned had been planned for quite a while- and asked him if he’d be willing to indulge the old traditions of appointing a new Thane. Solveig had of course accepted, and thus he stood before the Jarl’s brother in an honorable spar.Jarl Balgruuf had admitted that even before sending him off to Bleak Falls Barrow, he’d been considering making Solveig a Thane. The ancient Nordic ruin had been something of a final test, and the defeat of Mirmulnir further cemented his decision. Kodlak had lightheartedly joked about how nigh everyone except Solveig had been made aware. His Shield-Brothers and Shield-Sisters in the Companions, the Jarl’s council, Commander Caius and himself, and even Lydia.When Solveig had questioned her before the sparring ceremony, she’d simply chuckled and stated that; “I was notified that I was to be your Housecarl before we left, if we made it back from Bleak Falls Barrow successfully.” She’d also assured him that she was honored to assist him in any way he required, duty or no duty.He appreciated Lydia more than he could quite articulate. In the short time they’ve known each other, she’d already proved herself to be a reliable companion, both in battle and as a friend. As he breathed in deep, he reflected upon each and every one of the companions he’d found during this journey.Hadvar. His quiet support, his quick and tactful mind, and the determination of a proper soldier that beat in his heart.Auri. Her agility in both mind and body, her skill, and her uplifting humor that made every arduous journey tolerable.Lucien. His knowledge and wits, his encouragement, and the sharpness of a true scholar Solveig found himself lacking.Emelia. The girl’s compassion and desire to help however she could, her willingness to learn, and the simple yet invaluable viewpoint of a young apprentice.Kaidan. As he thought of him, Solveig found his gaze drawn to where he knew the swordsman stood against one of the great columns. He stood with his arms crossed loosely over his chest, more of a relaxed position than one on guard, and mostly in the shadow with everyone else. The light flickered over his features, illuminating the red tattoo on the right side of his face that Solveig had always found intriguing. Kaidan’s sharp red eyes found his own in that moment of reflection as Solveig drew on the strength and memory of his comrades, Kaidan gave him a single nod.Though the gesture was small, nearly imperceptible in the dark, it gave him that final missing piece. With a lightened burden, his gaze returned ahead. The drums echoed.Hrongar tightened his grip upon his axe and stalked forward. Solveig raised his shield. Every step up to this point, all that led him here, and each spoken word that lingered in his memory fueled his movements.Helgen. The smog thick in his lungs. “Stay down!”Hrongar’s axe scraped over his shield, and splinters sprayed through the air between them. Solveig’s arm ached from just the first blow.Whiterun. The start of a journey. “If you can withstand my attacks, then I will know you are a man of honor.”Another beat in time with his heart. The sharp clang of metal lingered in his ears. Two steps back. A stamp forward and a swing of his own blade.Falkreath Forest. The torrential, ice cold rain. “There are quite a few of you aren’t there?”Several clashes of steel. Sparks flashed amongst the brazier fire and shone in his eyes. Hrongar’s own gaze was hardened with focus as he met him blow for blow.Dead Man’s Drink. The making of a new friend over good wine. “Lucien Flavius! I’m a scholar, amateur wizard, and something of a musician!”The only sounds were their breaths, the blood roaring in his ears, and weapon on weapon and weapon on shield creating a chaotic rhythm alongside the steady drums.Valtheim Towers. The natural desire to assist one in need. “Help really came…”One more push. One more step.The cave just below. Saving a life and forging an oath. “If you ever have need of me, I’d be glad to fight by your side till that debt is repaid.”He didn’t know what the future would hold, for him or his home. He didn’t know for certain if he could keep his doubts and fears at bay the longer he walked this path. He did know, however, that in this moment he knew that he wouldn’t be here without them.With two thundering hits of the ceremonial drums, the match stopped. Hrongar’s guard had been broken by Solveig’s last strike and for a moment, they held one another’s gaze and silently exchanged respect. Solveig exhaled heavily and lowered his sword.For a moment, he barely heard the words Jarl Balgruuf spoke, even as his voice boomed through the halls of Dragonsreach. Hrongar straightened and put his axe aside as he raised his other hand and firmly patted Solveig’s shoulder. Solveig gave him a strong nod and other sounds faded in as the adrenaline quieted.“… Welcome, Thane Solveig. Tonight, we celebrate!”Suddenly the roaring cheers flooded in. Numerous faces crowded around him, all smiling and offering congratulations and praise, only some of which he recognized. However, the group soon split to make way for the Jarl.Solveig carefully handed both his shield and sword off to be put away properly, then faced him fully. Jarl Balgruuf held his gaze for a moment, then rested his hand on Solveig’s shoulder. “We are honored to have you as Thane of our city, Dragonborn.”Solveig swallowed. He raised his fist over his heart and gave his Jarl a firm nod. “And I’m honored to serve my home.”Jarl Balgruuf patted his shoulder twice.Just as quickly as people had gathered round him, they dispersed and he was whisked away into a side room by two of the Jarl’s servants to change. A fit far more formal than he was used to was gently yet hastily shoved into his open arms.“Oh- uh, thank you.” He managed. The two young women paid no mind to his awkward thanks and focused on getting him prepped efficiently. They dressed him in a cotton tunic with warmly colored patterning and embroidery that felt surprisingly comfortable on his skin, and an ornamented vest that hugged his muscles rather snugly. A set of glass beads went around his neck. He could only imagine how expensive those were, but then again- it was all Jarl owned. They were gorgeously colorful as well, and not as heavy as the runic stone amulet he’d been wearing previously. A black bear pelt was swung and clasped over his shoulders with a gold decorated pin. His hair was tidied up before he even had a chance to say anything, and he was ushered right back out just like that.That was probably the fastest he’d gotten dressed. Well- perhaps save for the time he thought bandits had hailed upon his campsite while he’d been washing the filth of the day away in the river. That had been a rather awkward, half dressed and still wet encounter with a Falkreath guard patrol… and certainly not one he’d like to repeat. This was much preferred.The newly appointed Thane and his company followed the Jarl’s steady steps into the dining hall.“Look at you being famous already~.” Auri’s voice withdrew his attention from his thoughts, bringing it back to the present. “Any thoughts?”Solveig offered a soft grin. “Think I’ll just… focus on celebrating the safe return of our soldiers, for the most part.”“Not enthused about becoming Thane?” She asked, more curious than anything.“No, no- I am of course quite enthused, it’s just…” Solveig sighed. “A lot has happened today.” He admitted, rolling his shoulders as they walked to attempt to ease the tenseness from his muscles.Auri, however, simply shrugged. “Well…” She leaned on his shoulder, her touch delicate and grounding as she stood on her tiptoes to whisper in his ear, “If it helps, just think about the free food.”The sensory of her breath fanning the shell of his ear had his mind wandering to places it perhaps shouldn’t. With all the chaos of late, he hadn’t even realized how long it’d been since he’d ‘tumbled in the sheets’, as Farkas would put it. He put that aside for now though. Not the time nor the place he told himself. Solveig deftly changed the track of his thoughts and chuckled as he continued the flow of conversation. “Speaking of, did you manage to get your meals custom? I’ll have to give a good kick to the chef if they don’t.” He was joking of course, he’d never actually scold a chef so harshly. It still brought a smile to her face, though, and that’s what mattered to him.Auri glanced down, eyeing his toned legs. “It’d be a rather strong kick, too.” She giggled to herself with an almost mischievous glint in her amber eyes, then assured him, “I told Lydia and she said she was able to pass it on. Thank you, though~.”“Good, I’m glad.” Solveig nodded in return, trying to resist how her first comment had the corner of his mouth turning up into a smirk. Internally, he cursed. He wasn’t usually one to think that way about a traveling companion. He’d had a fling or two with Saadia, the tavern girl in the Bannered Mare, but she’d always made it clear that there were to be no strings.Hell, he didn’t even quite want strings to pull or perhaps be pulled with Auri. She’d proved herself a valued friend and he held deep respect for her, but that was that. It’d simply been a long time since he’d shared warmth with someone else, and he always thought the idea of sharing that with a complete stranger rather uncomfortable and awkward.Auri, perceptive as she was, noticed his gaze lingering on her face and glanced up to meet it. A sly, knowing smile tugged at her lips. As she walked ahead, she threw a playful wink his way that left him wondering if she was thinking the same. Either way- he reminded himself- he’ll have to worry about those thoughts later. All the same, Solveig couldn’t quite resist the bemused and albeit pleasantly surprised smile of his own as he followed.A decent portion of the celebratory dinner was spent sharing some of his experience with Jarl Balgruuf and steward Proventus Avenicci. Which of course included sharing some stories he naturally kept the embarrassing parts out of. Except the occasional addition or reminder from Kodlak, all the while the older Nord always kept his kind, grandfatherly smile on his face. It was never blatant, but always enough to make Solveig awkwardly chuckle. It seemed he’d never quite escape the ‘grandparent embarrassing the shit out of you while you’re trying to present as professional’, no matter if he was a teen or a fully grown man.Jarl Balgruuf smiled lightheartedly with an almost nostalgic look in his eyes. “During perilous times like these, it is a rare occurrence to find noble spirits such as yours.” He gestured toward the others further down the table. “I trust you’ll keep your company alongside you during your journey?”Solveig glanced towards them, then gave him a nod. “Aye, if they’ll have me.”“You could form a Thaneguard. That chap with the long sword and the red tattoo for example. He looks big and strong enough to be a bodyguard.” Proventus suggested.Solveig hummed as he considered the thought. It definitely wouldn’t be too much of a stretch, considering the oath of protection Kaidan still insisted on upholding. He probably wouldn’t even argue the idea, but he’d still talk it over with Kaidan before dumping such a duty upon him.Irileth, ever practical as he’d garnered already, cut in with a firm tone, “Seven people is a lot to spend on. Food, supplies, upkeep. While you’re now Thane, I wouldn’t throw your riches around, else the people think you frivolous.”Solveig couldn’t help but notice the cold glance the Housecarl threw towards Nazeem as she emphasized the word frivolous. Meanwhile the nobleman dined away oblivious as can be. He had to bite on the inside of his lower lip to refrain from a snicker, or a snort. He quickly collected himself, masking any hint of an amused smirk. “I’ll keep that in mind. We’ll be sure to discuss the technicalities before heading off.”“The journey up the Throat of the World is a treacherous one.” Jarl Balgruuf warned. “While the only enemy you’ll face upon the 7,000 Steps- besides a frost troll or two- is yourself, it shows the same mercy upon you that you show yourself as well.”“You’ve made the pilgrimage before, Jarl?” Solveig asked.The man sighed. “It was a long time ago. While I wish I could say more to ensure you’re properly prepared, tradition dictates that those that make the pilgrimage remain silent.”Solveig nodded in understanding.Hrongar finished his bite and finally piped into the conversation after stuffing his face like he’d freshly arrived in the Halls of Valor, much to Proventus’s disdain. “If you believe the rumors, each person that climbs the Steps has their own experience completely unique to them. The Mountain tests us all in different ways, all dependent upon the path carved out for us.”“And the path we have already walked.” Kodlak added.Proventus couldn’t quite keep his thoughts to himself anymore, staring at Hrongar’s somewhat messy plate- though Solveig had definitely seen messier- with a wrinkle in his brow. “Must you devour every meal like a man starved??”“I’m a Nord, Proventus.” Hrongar grumbled, as if that in itself was explanation enough while he wiped the food scraps from his beard.At Proventus’s rather appalled blink and shake of his head, Solveig found himself hiding another snicker behind a cough. God, he was not nearly high class enough for this. Though, the subtle quirk of a smile he saw behind Jarl Balgruuf’s graying mustache made him feel a little better. To be fair, if Vilkhor had made a similar comment, he’d struggle to hold his laugh even more than he had now, even if he was the Jarl. Almost especially so, as siblings had a habit of making even the mundane events in life either bloody hilarious or wildly infuriating.Solveig’s heart ached as he thought of that foolhardy brother of his. When was the last time they’d talked? Well and truly talked face to face? Must have been over a year, now. He usually steered clear of The Rift, not wanting to accidentally get caught up with either the Thieve’s Guild or the numerous bandits and other vagabonds that seemed rife in that Hold. Which was a shame, since he truly appreciated its natural beauty. As for Vilkhor, well… the one time he’d taken after Solveig, it was in the sense of working too hard. Helping people before helping himself, despite how Solveig always said “Do as I say, not as I do”. He rarely visited Jorrvaskr after their fight; seemed to settle for sending their Shield-Siblings letters.Betrayal… he supposed the Hall of Stories hadn’t even been wrong. That’s what made it so heart wrenching to think about. He regretted the things he’d said that day even now. He’d never acted upon his anger before, and had never acted upon it since. Let’s… worry about that later. He focused on the conversation surrounding him once more, gathered the topic and context, and rejoined relatively easily.Conversation was like a steadily flowing river that could guide him away from the jagged shores where his thoughts cut thin slices into his feet wherever he tread. Never was a single one debilitating, but they stacked until blood seemed to seep into the stones of his thoughts’ road. The company of others rained upon the red, gently thinning it… Yet it never could wash the stains away completely.Soon enough, Jarl Balgruuf, Irileth, and Proventus retired from the dining hall, but allowed the rest to stay. The steward had remained just long enough to remind Solveig to arrive at Dragonsreach again early in the afternoon for estate discussions.The seats at the long table slowly emptied one by one and the chatter quieted. He himself had cleared his plate long ago, his stomach now satisfied. As Solveig considered retiring for the night himself, Lydia walked over to his seat and greeted him with a saluting bow with her fist over her heart.“Thane.”Solveig gave her a soft smile and nod. “Housecarl.” He then chuckled, shaking his head slightly. “Ah, that feels strange.”Lydia straightened with a smile of her own and assured him. “We’ll get used to it.” She cleared her throat. “Is there anything I can do to help prepare you for your estate talk with steward Avenicci?”Solveig sighed as he thought about it. “… I’ll get up early tomorrow morning and we’ll run over things then, if you don’t mind?”She nodded. “Fair enough.” There was a brief pause before she almost hesitantly asked, “Is everything alright?”The question caught him a bit off guard. A strained smile came to his face. “Aye, just tired. Think I’ll be headin’ home here pretty quick.”He saw the concern in her eyes, yet couldn’t help but be relieved when she simply nodded her acceptance. He’d clear it up, get these thoughts out in the air with someone, or even just in a bound journal. Just… later. “Though, before I do, Lydia,”She met his gaze and Solveig added softly, “Thank you for… all you’ve done, since the very start. I appreciate it more than I can say.”Lydia smiled softly. “Anytime. You can rely on me, Solveig. My new duty as your Housecarl changes nothing. You’re a good friend.”Her gratitude bled through to him and he returned that genuine smile. Solveig stood from his seat and glanced around the hall. Hadvar, Emelia, and Lucien had already left it seemed. He’ll have to settle for speaking with them tomorrow, he thought. As he stood there, and Lydia walked away with a soft spoken goodnight, he found himself oddly frozen. The hall was settling into the tranquility of night, with naught but hushed conversation and the crackling of the torches and hearths.Solveig exhaled some of the weight upon his chest in a heavy sigh. Later. He marched forward a few paces to the last two companions of his that yet remained. He leaned over the table with a gentle grin, his hand pressed against the table.“You two plannin’ on staying in the dining hall all night?” He teasingly asked.Kaidan lifted his eyes from the mug of ale he held. He then smirked and shrugged. “The ale’s damn good, what can I say?”Solveig couldn’t help but laugh at that. If he’d learned anything about Kaidan, it was that he could always be found either with a good ale, or a horker sandwich. “Just don’t make me pay for replacements, aye?”Kaidan’s smirk turned devious. “Wouldn’t dare.”Auri twisted around in her seat to face Solveig better, “Are you off to sleep?”His smile softened slightly. “Aye. Just swinging by to remind you two not to overstay your welcome. You may be companions of the new Thane, but I’m sure that only goes so far when it comes to causing trouble and getting away with it.”“Eh… probably a good idea.” Kaidan mumbled, mostly to himself as he eyed his bottle of ale. He shrugged and chugged the last of it down in one go.Solveig chuckled at the sight, “Your consequences.”He put the bottle down, his eyelid twitching at the concentration of the taste. “Aye, yeah. Just… eh, probably gonna go fuckin’ crash in the inn.” He muttered.Solveig raised his hand in farewell with a final goodnight, then left the dining hall. He passed through the nigh silent rooms, idly fiddling with the pin holding his bear pelt cloak in place. His other wrist rested upon the pommel of his sword as he walked.Just before he reached the castle’s open front doors, a familiar voice called his name. “Solveig?” He paused and turned. Auri stepped to stand in front of him with her hands clasped behind her back. In the moonlight shining through the open double doors, her auburn waves were tinted silver and copper.Solveig smiled at her. “Aye? You headed off to sleep, too?” The words came out huskier than usual. It might’ve been the quietude of the night that encouraged a lower voice, it might’ve been his earlier thoughts trickling in rather sweetly at the sight of her in the moonlight like that. Damn beautiful enough to make anyone, be it man or woman, stop and admire her.“Mm… Maybe.” She shuffled a single step closer, holding his gaze with those shining amber irises of hers. He couldn’t quite tell just yet if it was her usual coy, mischievous game or something more along the lines of what he was thinking. Yet, he dare not assume.“Want me to walk you down to the Mare?” He asked in a soft murmur.Auri closed the already little distance remaining between them and lifted her slender hands, nonchalantly ‘fixing’ the collar of his vest that didn’t need fixing. He inhaled, deliberate and careful, as the fabric grazed over his neck, the knowledge that her fingers were barely an inch or two away from his skin making both his heart and his thoughts stutter. Standing so close like this reminded him how short in stature she was, especially compared to him. The top of her head barely came above his shoulders, and the definition of her muscles, that strength he so admired, was far more subtle than his.Those eyes lifted behind long, dark lashes and it was then that he knew for certain it wasn’t just him. “You tell me.”The light in her eyes and the way she damn near purred those words shot straight to his core. Before he even quite realized, he’d settled one of his hands over hers, pressing it to his chest. Maybe he was being too tender, too sentimental given that all he really needed was one night. But he’d be damned if he didn’t treat her right, even if just the once.“Join me for the night?” Fuck. He hadn’t meant to be quite so blunt about it, but gods if it didn’t feel like it’d been forever.Auri slowly smiled. With a firm tug on Solveig’s shirt collar, she stood on her tiptoes and whispered, her breath hot on his ear, “You only had to ask.~” Her tongue darted out to catch his earlobe between her teeth and gave a hungry pull.Solveig barely suppressed a growl. Yup. If he hadn’t been certain before, he definitely was now. Her fingers left a trail down his arm that seemed to burn in comparison to the cold night air. With another one of her winks, she strode out under the night sky, leading the way. For a pause that was merely brief, he let his gaze linger on the curvature of her hips and the way they swayed with her light, nearly soundless steps. With a confident grin and a mental repeat of that nibble of promise on his ear, he followed after her, walking at her side.~~~Kaidan stared down at his reflection in the now stale ale in his mug, brow furrowed in a pensive frown. He knew he should go. Probably back to the Bannered Mare, maybe find a willing lad or lass for the night.Except for the fact that he didn’t actually want it for once. That was what really had him still sitting here, far overstaying his welcome and loitering like a beggar in a busy market. Well, that and the damned look Auri had in her eye before leaving. How she let her gaze linger freely on Solveig’s back as he’d left.The freedom he denied himself. Divines only knew why, but seeing her leave shortly after with a skip in her step to ensure she caught up with the man before he got too far, it left a strangely suffocating weight on his chest. Bloody irritating, too.Sure, Solveig was attractive. A person would have to be bloody daft not to see that, at least objectively. Auri was damn pretty as well. Yet, it was always him Kaidan’s mind would drift back to. Despite how he’d so far repressed any desire- rather futilely- that damnable blonde always came to his mind in quiet moments like these.Truth be told, he was starting to wonder if he was remaining at Solveig’s side out of more than just obligation. Kaidan sighed. Fuck. He was beating around the bloody bush even in his own damn thoughts. The fact was, thinking about those two probably already tangled in the sheets made his gut twist in a way it hadn’t in a long time.He scowled, more at himself than anything else, and took a swig from his mug only to regret it. A shudder of disgust ripped through him and he put the mug down and pushed it forward with a muttered curse. It shouldn’t fuckin matter who was in who’s bed. Kaidan huffed in frustration and stood, stalking through the halls. He’d need to get shit faced tonight, he knew it. Should probably get the twins to be his sober keeper, or at least less drunk than him.As he walked out of Dragonsreach and out into the crisp night air, his traitorous thoughts wandered again. When had things changed? If anything, he would’ve thought it’d be Emelia he’d attach to. The lass had been the one to get him out of a that sick place alive, after all. Healed the lashes on his back well enough he could fight at least.Solveig had come later. Kaidan couldn’t help but huff a wry chuckle, watching his breath puff into the air. The man had come to help and what had he done? Thrown a punch, even in the state he’d been in. When he’d actually seen him, though… that’d been a different story entirely. At first, he thought he’d thrown a punch at Talos Himself, come to offer him a place to rest at Sovngarde. Then he’d looked into those eyes.Even in that very first moment, he’d seen a subtle fire blazing in that hazel. It always seemed to flare with the man’s temper. It certainly had when Kaidan had been an arse in the Nordic ruin. It’d cut through his own anger at Lucien like a red hot knife, hot enough it’d felt cold. Made him pause and actually think. On the one hand, he’d always been a bit weak in the knees for a stubborn spirit. On the other… seeing those eyes glaring at him, knowing he was the one that genuinely fucked up and made him angry, it’d had guilt twisting in his heart. He never wanted Solveig angry like that again. Especially not with him.Kaidan rubbed his hand down his face, trying to keep the sheer exhaustion of the day at bay. From fighting a bloody dragon, to a high society feast he didn’t nearly have the proper fuckin manners for, he was dragging his feet yet wired for sound at the same time. He barely realized he’d already made it to the inn before he swung the door open wide and shuffled in.The noise of raucous laughter and cheering of drinking games and cards slammed into his senses like a brick wall. Kaidan wrinkled his nose at the stench of ale and mead mixing with sweat and made his way towards the counter.“Ey, Hulda.” He leaned on the wood with his elbow and pulled a small pouch of coin from his pocket, placing it on the table. “Room for the night?”“Not stayin’ at Jorrvaskr with the new Thane?” She asked.Kaidan pursed his lips. “Er, no. He… he went home.” He pushed that strange weight in his chest aside again and settled for a joke at the Companions’ expense instead, “Besides, this place is rowdy enough.”Hulda chuckled and swiped the small pouch from the counter, counted the coins out, and tossed it back to him. “Lucky you. Got the last free room.”He took the pouch back and turned to scan over the room. The noise was almost agitating, crawling up his skin and giving him a headache. Maybe it’d be best not to get drunk, then. The last thing he wanted was to get shit faced and end up in a brawl with another drunk idiot over something stupid. Kaidan gave Hulda a polite nod and made towards the stairs.He passed Hadvar, who stood leaning against the wall by the staircase with his arms crossed. Part of him was surprised the soldier hadn’t gone to sleep already, then supposed it made sense when he thought about it deeper. Hadvar gave him a terse nod in acknowledgment. Kaidan returned it.It was then that Kaidan realized he hadn’t actually spoken to Hadvar much, despite working together at Solveig’s side. As his boot landed on the first step, Hadvar’s hand suddenly caught his elbow and firmly held him back.“Undercover Thalmor across the hall on the left.” He whispered.Kaidan froze. Shit. He swallowed. “And Emelia?”“She went to bed an hour ago.”Kaidan clenched his jaw. He gave Hadvar an appreciative nod and continued up the stairs. As an Imperial Legionnaire, he knew the man couldn’t do anything outwardly against the Thalmor. Hell, he was greatly risking himself just by being in relation to a couple fugitives the Thalmor had put hefty bounties on. Yet he’d given him warning, and that was all Kaidan needed.He kept his head down as he walked, keeping his posture appearing rather meek like he was less threatening than he really was, and let his hair cover the damned tattoo on the right side of his face. Sure enough, he caught a glimpse of an Altmer across the hall with a back too straight to be anything other than one of those prissy bastards, let alone the rugged adventurer he was made to look like.His chest tightened. He forced his fists to relax at his sides. He’d just duck into the room nice and quiet and they’d be gone by morning. The man suddenly pushed off the wall and started walking towards him. Fuck. Kaidan fixed his gaze to the floor.They breezed past each other, and Kaidan felt the man’s sharp gaze skim him over. He held his breath and didn’t look up. He heard hushed conversation just behind him moments after. Quickly enough to get the fuck out of the hall, but not quick enough to raise suspicion, he made it to the door of his room and ducked inside.He closed the door and leaned on it heavily, his heart thundering in his ears. Kaidan heard the creaking of his molars as he ground his teeth.Fuck. Breathe. Just breathe.Kaidan shut his eyes as he forced a deep breath in, then out, only… it proved to be the worst choice he could make in that moment. The smooth wood of the door was suddenly jagged. Sharp, and cutting into his back and ripping at the slashes. The scars- the wounds- suddenly stung. Then burned and burned until the infection ate at his flesh again.The agonizing sensation ripped through his back and he dug his nails into his shoulders. His eyes flew open wide, breaths hopelessly uncontrollable now. The stench of his own blood and infection and the mildew growing in the cracked stone suffocated him.Focus on something else. Anything else.Soft baritone hums. Gentle taps on his shoulder. A warm smile.
Long and pleasurable sighs. Lingering touches trailing down smooth skin. A sweet taste.
A harsh grip ripping his head up by his hair, and the sneering voice alongside it demanding answers. Answers he didn’t have. Deafened by the crackling electricity and his own screams tearing from his hoarse throat until it broke.
A gentle caress, running his fingers through silky auburn waves and the whispered words alongside it giving praise. Praise he offered undoubtedly. Emboldened by the hitches in her breath and his name falling from her lips.
Left hanging there with the rusty shackles caked with his own dried blood, rubbing into his wrists and infecting them what felt like down to the bone. Losing all hope of breathing fresh air again, all hope of finding those answers himself. Hearing others’ screams and listening as the numbers of his inmates dwindled one by one. Hearing each body being dumped, and wondering when he would be next…
Moving in tandem with the same hot air between them with the sweet saltiness of her sweat on his tongue, her rapidly beating pulse under his teeth. Losing all words as the shared heat seared through their bodies, as all words bled into heavy breaths and lustful sounds. Hearing her moans fill the room as his restraint dwindled bit by bit. Seeing the wrinkles and folds her fingers left in the bedding in her vice grip, and knowing release would be close…
His jaw ached as he kept quiet the guttural roar that threatened to bubble in his throat; a mix of agony, anguish, and rage. His muscles tensed and his nails clawed deeper into his palms, desperately trying to replace the screaming pain in his back. Those soft hums in his memory trickled in again, easing the deathly strangle hold his pain kept over him. He clung to those memories, reaching out to them with everything he had. Finally, his gasps slowed.
His hand joined hers as her voice blessed his ears with his name once more, raw and free. Her body tensed underneath him with the tremor of release, then seemed to melt into bliss. He found his own moments after, his mind showing him crimson eyes instead. Her hands eased their deathly hold of the sheets as the shared bliss hung over them. He pressed a soothing kiss to her jaw, peppering them down her neck. Finally, his breaths slowed.
That weight settled over his chest again. Fuck. He wasn’t even here.
An odd pressure tugged at his heart. Why? Why red eyes?
Kaidan thudded the back of his head against the door, forcing his heaving chest to relax. The Dragonborn wasn’t even here, yet the memory of him brought Kaidan back. Made him see he was inside the inn, not back there. Eased the phantom pain of the whip lashes on his back and the abrasions on his wrists. The weight on his heart twisted as he remembered exactly where Solveig was instead.…With a deep sigh, Solveig settled on the bed beside Auri, spent and satisfied. As his heart beat eased to a normal rhythm, he traced lazy lines over her back. She shifted, settling her head upon his shoulder and started doing to same over his chest.Red eyes… Solveig shoved that aside, staring up at the ceiling and enjoying the warmth pressed into his side instead.“Mm… you have good stamina.” Auri abruptly murmured, turning her head up to look at his face with a sly smile.Solveig grinned with a soft chuckle. “I get that a lot.”She huffed and playfully flicked his chin. “Braggart.” He couldn’t help but laugh in response. Auri propped herself up on her elbow, looking down at him as her auburn waves spilled over one shoulder. “And cocky…” In languid movements, she swung one leg over his midsection and straddled his hips, earning a rumbling hum of approval. “Another round?”Solveig’s grin softened into a smirk as he trailed his hands over her thighs and agreed, “’Nother round.”For now, trading his burdens for bliss was too tempting a taste to refuse. He’d trade the Dragonfire for primal satisfaction. Trade the weight of the world for the pressure of her body against his.Exchange this incessant longing for a brief reprieve of a night led by desire, and desire alone. The roads of his thoughts would likely turn against him again tomorrow and make the burden return, perhaps even greater, but in that moment he couldn’t bring himself to care. To make it melt away, even if only for a night, granted him relief however fleeting.