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The doorbell rang, startling Fern out of his research. Was it the time already? Surely not, he'd been at this only for - he checked his phone - four hours now. Damn. It was the time.

He threw on whatever clothes he could locate in the mess that was his bed, grateful to Past Fern for the great idea of taking a shower before settling down to more work, and ran downstairs.

He opened the front door in a rush and found himself eye to chest with a stranger. The chest was quite wide, he couldn’t help noticing, bordered by well muscled arms. He took a step back to look the man in the face, which was some way up. Fern wasn’t

that

short, surely?

“You are

not

my driver.”

The man was giving him a curious look and Fern could feel his mismatched socks peeking accusingly from his shoes. His hair was probably a terrible mess too.

“I’m your bodyguard, sir,” he said, as if that explained anything.

“I don't have a bodyguard.”

“Well, now you do. But I can drive, if that helps.”

Fern could tell from the amused glint in his eyes that he definitely noticed his ogling, as well as his socks. And he was human. Of course. No self-respecting elf would take the job of safeguarding a half-breed like him.

“It does help, but I am certain I don’t need a bodyguard.”

He was being a bit childish, arguing like that, but the way he couldn’t dissuade him was getting annoying.

“I don't know about that, but your mom made the arrangements on your behalf, so she probably thinks you do need one.”

Ah. His dear elven mother. She did enjoy taking over his life. But for all her faults, her support put him through university, when it wasn’t easy for a half-elf to even be admitted to study. Though his academic success was entirely his own, she wouldn’t take the credit there.

It seemed that there was no point in arguing with the bodyguard.

His

bodyguard. Why would he need one, anyway? Yet another of mother’s idle fancies, most likely. He wouldn’t be able to protect him if anything went wrong today, but she probably felt better for doing this.

“Ugh. Alright. What’s your name?”

“Owens. Gareth Owens, sir. So, where we going?”

“We will be inspecting a dragon's lair today. Their numbers have been dwindling over the past few years and I will get to the bottom of this. They are thaumivores and the background magic-”

The bodyguard was watching him with a stony expression.

“You don’t care about the dragons, do you?” he sighed. Why did he even bother?

“Sorry, never given much thought to the sky whales, sir.”

That damn comparison! Just because they floated calmly through the skies, sorting out thaumic interferences, everyone considered them to be useless annoyances that meddled with air traffic. He was being unfair to actual whales right now, but that was besides the point. He could feel the beginnings of a rant coming on.

“They are much more complex than that! They are not mere krill-feeders, the thaumic ecosystem itself is dependent on their presence! They harmonize the magical frequencies, do you know how many wild magic storms there would be without them? And there have been a lot of storms happening lately, and it will only get worse unless I figure out what's going on.”

The corners of the bodyguard's mouth were quirked up just the slightest bit. He was laughing at him! Fern deflated. He hadn’t really slept last night, he’d been too caught up in poring over maps of thaumic interference to notice that it was getting late and only nodded off for a few hours amongst the papers spread out on his bed.

“Let’s just go, it’s a long drive.”

“As you say, sir.”

“Could you dispense with the ‘sirs’? I’ve had enough for the whole week already. I’m Fern.”

He didn’t argue, to Fern’s surprise.

“Alright. And why do you need a driver? Your hands too soft for the steering wheel?”

“I don’t like to drive, simple as that. So this is the one thing my mother’s wealth allows me that I take advantage of.”

He didn’t have to tell him that his mother actually insisted on him having a driver after the last time he made a brilliant breakthrough in his research while driving to work and nearly killed himself by slamming the car into a lamp post when he got lost in thought.

“If you say so,”Owens said, visibly not believing him, and he was smirking and he had no right to have such an attractive smirk. Fern ducked his head before he did something stupid, like stare at his lips.

“I'll pack up and we can leave, okay?”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

This guy was… not what he expected from the son of a rich elven lady. He wasn’t an arrogant bastard, for one. And he seemed to really care about his research, whatever all that thaumic talk was about. But why the hells did they ask for Gareth specifically to do this job? There were loads of elves at the agency who could do it and they asked for the one human. Just weird.

The elf was taking his time getting ready, flitting from one thing to another like a damn butterfly, and Gareth leaned against the doorframe to watch him.

He put a laptop in his backpack, then seemed to remember something, went back to the door and grabbed his keys. Good, probably shouldn't leave without those. Then out of the hallway and into what was likely a kitchen, since he could hear the tap running. Back to the hallway with a full water bottle. It was absolutely covered in stickers and the one with the sleeping cat was kind of cute. Now he was rummaging in a drawer, pulling out some weird gadgets. For

sky whale

research? Gareth had to admit that it'd been fun, making him bristle like that.

Out of the hallway again and coming back with a pair of the most outrageously green binoculars he had ever seen. And a jacket as a finishing touch. It was fucking hot already, even though it was just nine in the morning, but gods forbid he left without a jacket. He didn’t pack any snacks though. Something would have to be done about that, the elf was way too scrawny to not eat anything for the whole day.

Fern was checking himself out in the hallway mirror now and didn't like what he saw, judging by the scrunch of his nose. He was brushing his long hair behind a pointy ear that was a bit on the shorter side…

Huh. Half-elf, then. That was a whole load of baggage right there, and it definitely explained why they asked for

him

. Damn elves were almost allergic to half-breeds. But whatever got Gareth paid was good enough. And at least Fern wouldn't give him shit for being a human. Hopefully.

Fern was done preening now and coming up to him, so he straightened a bit from his resting position and the way Fern’s eyes followed him as he raised himself to his full height was quite flattering.

“You ready?” Gareth asked him and Fern just nodded, still staring, and did he forget how to blink?

“Alright then,” Gareth said, since it was obvious that he would be the one carrying the conversation right now.

They walked to the car, Gareth opened the rear door for him and Fern threw his things in there and then he went to sit in the front passenger seat. That was an unusual situation. Didn't he know that the client was supposed to be in the back where he'd be better protected? But he probably didn't, since he hadn't even expected to have a bodyguard. Gareth couldn't help raising an eyebrow in question.

“I get motion sickness when I sit in the back, alright?”

Fern was glaring at him defiantly, as if daring him to say anything about it. Gareth didn’t want puke in the backseat, so he just nodded and closed the door, before settling behind the wheel.

“We're getting breakfast first, you look like you haven’t eaten in a week.”

“I beg you pardon?”

“Look me in the eyes and tell me you ate breakfast today.”

Fern didn't look him in the eyes and Gareth drove them to his favorite diner in the more human part of the city. He didn’t feel like dealing with elves today. They sat down to pick what to eat (Gareth knew what he was going to get, the waffles they made here were awesome) and Fern was reading the menu and he tucked some of his hair behind an ear absentmindedly. A mistake.

“Hey, what’s a short-ear doing here?”

Some godsdamned bastard was making his way towards them and couldn’t people just mind their own business? Fern tensed at the slur, trying to make himself smaller, and Gareth really didn't like the sight of that. This probably wasn't Fern’s first rodeo, judging by the resigned look in his eyes, but it also wasn't Gareth’s first time dealing with annoying dicks and he rose from his chair to loom over the bastard.

“The hell did you just say?” he growled at him and the guy actually stepped back, bumping into a table.

“You're protecting a fucking mongrel?”

He could see Fern cringe out of the corner of his eye and had to stop himself from throwing hands right away.

“I’m protecting a person from a fucking dick. Now, will you leave us alone or do I make you?”

Gareth found that he was actually itching for a fight. Fucking racists, couldn't take it out on elves, so they punched down whenever they could. And a half-elf would be an easy target, because the elves didn't give a shit about them. No one gave a shit about them, it was better to be a human than a half-breed, even if being human in a city with a mostly elven population sucked balls.

“I'd like to see you try!” the guy yelled at him.

The waitress was watching them with a wary expression, but Gareth knew her, she wouldn’t call the cops on him for dealing with this dick. She hated racists as much as he did.

“Alright,” he said, and punched him in the face. He folded like a lawn chair, slamming back into the table behind him.

“Sorry about that. I'll take the trash out,” he said to the waitress, who nodded and even deigned to give him a small smile. She hardly ever smiled, so that was a win.

He grabbed him by the collar and dragged him outside, leaving him to groan on the sidewalk. That'd teach him. And now he could finally get those waffles.

He walked back to Fern, who was watching him with very wide eyes and he seemed way too awed, as if this was the first time someone stood up for him. Gareth hoped that this wasn't the case, because that would just be sad.

“Thank you,” Fern said, and he was so quiet and, shit, this probably

was

the first time.

“Hey, it's fine.”

It wasn't fine, why did he have to keep looking so sad? Gareth wanted to wrap him in a blanket, but there were none to be had. Well, he would have to settle for the next best thing then.

“Want some waffles? The ones they make here are the shit.”

Fern nodded, smiling a little, and the smile shouldn't be making Gareth so happy. And he devoured the waffles, making Gareth wonder if he even ate dinner yesterday. But at least he was fed now.

With that out of the way, they could get going. Their destination was at the outer edges of a small mountain range near the city. They had to walk a bit through a forest and it was actually nice there. It wasn't too hot in the shade under the trees and they even saw some deer cross their path, which startled Fern into almost jumping into a bush and Gareth into a fit of laughter at Fern's indignant expression.

They arrived at the lair's entrance, which was very big, but that figured, since a dragon was also very big. The space in front of the cave was littered with broken trees and boulders with great gashes scored across them. The dragon didn't fuck around.

“She uses those boulders to mark her home,” Fern said when he noticed him place a hand against one of the grooves in the rock. It was deep, and much wider than his hand. Gareth really didn't want to be caught by one of those claws.

“You sure the dragon's not gonna come back now?” he asked, because he wasn't feeling very confident about his chances in a bodyguard versus pissed off dragon fight.

“Positive. There is an interference happening right now some miles away that will have her drawn like moth to a flame. And it will take her time to sort it all through, so we are probably safe for about six hours.”

That “probably” wasn't making his confidence any greater. But Fern didn't seem inclined to leave until he did whatever it was he came to do, so he leaned against a boulder with less scary gashes to watch him as he unpacked his equipment.

“Are you seriously going to just stand there?” Fern asked, as if there was something else he was supposed to be doing.

“Monitoring for threats,” he lied. He was still worrying about the damn sky whale. They were supposed to be gentle giants, but a hippo was a gentle giant too, until one got too close and then those teeth could do some serious damage. But he wouldn’t be telling Fern all that, he was a professional.

“You could monitor while helping me and we'd be done much faster. Also what do you think is going to happen here? Are there snipers behind the rocks? Or perhaps rabid squirrels waiting to maul me?”

He had to chuckle a little at the squirrels. But did he seriously expect him to work as a research assistant too? This wasn't what he was getting paid for. But Fern was trying to climb up a boulder now, and his foot kept slipping and he was grumbling under his breath in frustration, so Gareth took pity on him. He also really didn't want to spend more time than necessary courting clawed death.

“Hey, need a leg up?”

“If you would be so kind.”

Gareth walked up to Fern and allowed him to use his joined hands as a foothold to reach up higher. He scrambled up the boulder, lying flat on it and getting his breath back for a moment. Then he sat up and a hand descended towards Gareth.

“Could you give me the thaumometer?”

Gareth went to poke at the pile of devices sitting next to Fern’s pack. He had no idea what a thaumometer looked like and the things looked mostly the same to him, so he just held them up for inspection one by one.

“No. Not that. No, that's a laser measure. That's my phone. Are you making fun of me?”

He was.

“Yup.”

Fern looked surprised at his admission, but a smile played on his lips.

“Also no. My water bottle? Seriously?”

Fern was trying to hide his grin, but Gareth wouldn't be fooled.

“What about this?”

“That’s a rock. The thaumometer is the one with the big dial.”

He was laughing now and maybe being a research assistant wasn’t so bad.

“Why didn't you just say so?”

“Now where would be the fun in that?”

Gareth handed him the thaumometer and Fern stood up on the boulder, turning this way and that, fiddling with the dial. He was taking his sweet time with it and Gareth was getting bored.

“Need anything else? A blanket, maybe, if you're gonna be spending the whole day up there?”

“Shush. I'm trying to catch the direction of the flow.”

“Did you just shush me?”

He was a cheeky one. Gareth wouldn't have expected that at first glance. Fern looked down on him with an amused smile.

“I did. And do you understand what the word means?”

“Fine, fine, I'll shut up.”

“Thank you

ever

so much, Mr Owens.”

He waited. And waited. This was what bodyguards actually did, most of the time. But it'd been nice to joke around with Fern and he found himself missing the interaction. Finally he was done and looking around for a way down. He turned to Gareth with a sheepish smile.

“I seem to have miscalculated.”

“Have you? Changed your mind about that blanket, since you're living up there now?”

“How very funny,” Fern said, pretending to be annoyed, but he was grinning again. Gareth liked that grin. Why couldn't all his jobs be like this? Most of them were pompous celebrities who wanted “protection” from the papparazzi. That was so boring. Tromping around the forest with this nerd was much more interesting. And the nerd was still up there, though now he was sitting down and trying to figure out where to best get off the boulder.

“Fine, come here, I'll get you down,” he said, also failing to feign annoyance. Fern was crawling backwards off the boulder and Gareth realized that he too had miscalculated, because where the hells was he supposed to grab him? Catching him at the thighs would throw him off balance, his chest was still too high up, so that only really left his hips. Which meant a non-insignificant chance to accidentally touch his ass somewhere along the way. He

really

didn't want to grope him.

Fern's legs were coming closer and those mismatched socks were adorable. Gareth wondered if he wore them like this on purpose. Okay, so now he had to reach

up

, avoid the ass, however pretty it was, and grab him as high up the hips as he could. He thanked the gods for his height, it was really useful right now. His hold on Fern was firm, so he could afford to just pluck him off the rock, which made him squeak in surprise, and set him down on the ground. Gods, he was tiny. And he looked… startled? Embarrassed? And he was

blushing

.

“Thank you,” he said, quickly turning around to rummage in his backpack for the laptop without waiting for Gareth to say anything back.

“So, we done?”

“We shall be done after we take… six more readings, I believe. But I will choose my spot more carefully next time.”

Gareth couldn't stop the groan that escaped his lips. They would still be here tomorrow at this rate.

“If you want it done faster, you can input the readings here in this chart,” Fern said, handing him the laptop. So he was officially the assistant. He suspected that there would be no pay raise, but took the laptop anyway.

Fern was walking among the boulders, stopping here and there to shout out numbers, which Gareth dutifully wrote down. It actually took nine more readings, but at last they were finished.

Fern was stretching himself out after being hunched over the thaumometer for so long, raising his arms high up into the sky and his t-shirt rode up, revealing a stripe of pale skin, and Gareth definitely wasn’t staring. At all. He turned around to pretend at inspecting another particularly deep groove in a boulder.

“That's it for today, but we'll need to come back tomorrow to set up some equipment for longer term measurements,” Fern called to him and started putting his things back into the backpack.

“Alright,” Gareth said and he was very much relieved to be leaving, because they'd been there for very long and what if the dragon came back early, what then? He was glad he didn't have to find out.

They went back to the car and Fern got his laptop out again, settling it across his knees after he fastened his seatbelt. He was writing something down and didn't spare Gareth another glance, so he just started the car and drove off.

“I thought you said we were done for today,” Gareth said after they got on the highway to the city and Fern was still tapping away at the keys.

“Would you be quiet? I'm trying to think,” Fern snapped.

Rude. But if he didn’t want to talk, then they wouldn't talk. The traffic was getting heavier, so he kept his eyes on the road, listening to Fern’s mutterings about thaumic flows, which gradually grew more and more quiet with a lot of silence stretching between them.

He'd been quiet for a long while now, so Gareth turned to him at a red light and found out that Fern was fast asleep. That was some deep thinking he was doing right there. But he probably needed it, the dark circles under his eyes were clear in that regard.

Gareth closed the laptop and stuffed it behind his seat. He definitely didn’t want that thing flying around if he had to brake too hard.

The light turned green and he started driving again, rummaging blindly in the backseat until he found Fern’s jacket. So it came in handy after all. He shook it out and spread it across Fern, tucking it around his shoulders. It was damn difficult to do one handed and driving, but he deserved at least a little comfortable rest. He made Fern’s seat recline a bit, because he really didn't like the way his head kept falling forward all the time.

Fern was still asleep when they pulled up to his house, fingers twitching where they were poking out from under the jacket. Probably dreaming about writing down today's findings. Gareth had known him for half a day, but he had a strong feeling that Fern just never stopped. He didn't have the heart to wake him up, he looked too peaceful and also extra exhausted, but it probably wasn’t the best idea to keep watching him either, even if the way his lips curved with a small smile was really mesmerizing-

What the hells? Fern was still a client and Gareth was still a professional, wasn't he? He took his phone out with a sigh, opening up the book he'd been meaning to finish. He wouldn’t let Fern catch him staring when he woke up, that was just creepy.

He was making good progress with the book and it was getting late when Fern started stirring. Gareth pretended to be engrossed in reading, so Fern could become fully conscious in some semblance of privacy.

“What time is it?” he asked, voice rough with sleep.

“Half past seven. You slept like a baby, I wanted you to get some rest.”

“I am very nearly in my thirties, I'll have you know,” Fern said and he looked so outraged at being compared to a baby that Gareth had to laugh.

“Alright. You slept like an adult person who is definitely not a baby. Better?”

“Yes, thank you.”

And there was that smile again. Gareth wanted to see more of it.

“I should get going, you certainly do not want to spend what remains of the evening parked here,” Fern said, and Gareth did want that. Why did he want that? He'd only just met him. Fern was getting out of the car with his things and he gave Gareth a little wave. It felt silly to wave back, but he did it anyway.

“Sure. Be here tomorrow morning, then.”

“I will be expecting you. I might have a need of an assistant tomorrow as well. Good night, Gareth.”

“Night,” he said and he absolutely didn't like the way his name sounded on Fern’s lips. At all. Hated it, certainly.

Shit

.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Why did he start calling his bodyguard by his first name? Why did he let said bodyguard buy him breakfast? And why in all the hells did Gareth tuck him in and let him sleep in his car? Also, why did Fern like it all so much? Ugh. He had to stop thinking about it, there was no chance of anything more anyway. Better get back to work. He was well rested after his car nap (he wouldn’t admit that it was the best nap he'd had in a long time, oh no), so he could get some calculations done tonight. He needed to figure out the probability of another wild magic storm based on the number of interferences that had been cropping up lately. But a shower first, and possibly some food. Gareth was annoyingly right about him not eating enough, but there was just so much to do! He found an apple and some chocolate in the kitchen. Hm. A grocery trip would probably have to happen in the near future, but this would do for tonight. Food done, now to the shower so he could finally start working. He was pulling his hair back to put it in a hair tie before he showered and the point of one too short ear poked out, making him think back to the diner. It kept happening, no matter how much he tried to hide what he was. A mongrel, a half-breed. Godsdamned half-elf. And wearing his hair long to hide those stupid short ears wasn’t helping, it just annoyed him and it was too much work with no real benefit.But Gareth actually stood up for him, even though he hadn't known him for more than a few hours by then. And he treated him like an equal, which didn't happen very often. Elves hated his human part, humans hated his elven part and half-elves were so rare he had never even met one. Apparently the magical capabilities of elves didn't play all too nicely with human DNA, but he had the great fortune to be born anyway. Yay for him.He was so sick of being ashamed of himself, sick of hiding who he was. And there were scissors on the bathroom cabinet, looking very inviting. He did it.He chopped all of his hair off.The sink was full of dark brown waves and the face looking back at him from the mirror looked happier than he was used to. He showered and got back to work with the satisfaction of a job well done. He fell asleep working again. Oh, well. But he did make good progress yester- today? The last thing he remembered was getting angry that the number of interferences was not matching his predictions, which was at about four in the morning.Now it was eight o'clock and there was just enough time to get ready before Gareth came, so he removed the sticky note from where it had attached to his cheek during the night and got dressed, taking care to find matching socks.The doorbell rang and this time Fern was prepared, but he wasn't at all waiting for Gareth to come. He was very much engrossed in storm calculations and didn't almost run to the door to open it. What in all the hells was going on with him? This was just ridiculous.Gareth’s smile when he opened the door was also ridiculous. Too excited to see him and too beautiful and he looked so good standing there in the morning sun, which was turning his closely cropped ginger hair almost a fiery red. Fern should probably say something.“Hello, Gareth.”Not a bad start, all things considered. But he had a feeling the words came out a little strangled.“Hey,” Gareth said, giving him an appraising look. “New haircut?”“Oh, I got into a freak accident with a blender last night, barely escaped with my life.”Gareth actually snorted and Fern felt very proud of himself.“Suits you either way.”Why did it make him so happy to hear him say that? He tried to school his expression into something neutral. Professional, even. This was a professional relationship they had, nothing more. “Thank you,” he said, absolutely not grinning like a fool.“But it's kinda choppy in the back, you want some help with that? Got my hair clippers in the car.”“Why. Do you travel with hair clippers?”Did he also have a whole barber shop in there?“You never know when you end up out of town for a while in my line of work. And I really don't like my hair growing too long, so I just keep them in the car.”Alright, that was actually a reasonable answer. Fern was almost surprised, but not as surprised as he was when he found himself agreeing to the offer of help. Gareth got the clippers and brought a chair into the bathroom, settling it in front of the mirror.“You should probably take off your t-shirt, if you don't want it full of hair.”Yes, how logical. He wouldn't want a t-shirt full of hair. Undressing in front of his very attractive bodyguard was so much better. But there was no way around it and he wouldn’t back down now. He took the t-shirt off and sat on the chair, unwilling to meet his own gaze in the mirror, because he was absolutely certain his ears were going red and couldn't bear seeing it for himself.The clippers buzzed to life and Gareth placed a hand at the nape of his neck. The hand was very warm and very large and it felt so good and this was an absolutely terrible idea. He started with the hair at the back, using his hold on him to tilt his head whichever way he needed and Fern was definitely not going to look in the mirror, because then he would probably spontaneously combust. Why did he agree to this? And Gareth was coming around to face him now and oh gods, he was probably blushing so hard.“I need to even out the rest too, is that alright?” he asked, and Fern nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He would quite likely say something stupid.“But you'll probably end up with a buzz cut, just so you know. You did some damage with those scissors.”It wasn’t like he cut his own hair on a regular basis.“We'll match, then.”And he did say something stupid.Gareth gave him a small smile and caught his chin with his free hand, tilting his head up to keep the shorn hair from falling into his eyes. The fingers were holding him way too gently, almost feather-light, yet he followed their every shift to accommodate Gareth as he worked. There was nowhere to hide now, he was forced to stare right at his face and Gareth had a smattering of freckles spread across his nose and cheeks and Fern busied himself mapping out constellations among them, so that he wouldn't accidentally catch his eyes. The buzz of the clippers was hypnotic and Gareth’s hand was still right there and he couldn't take it anymore-“There, done. What do you think?”Right on time. Fern was sure that he would have done something embarrassing, had Gareth not finished. Gareth moved away so he could see himself in the mirror and Fern felt a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. This was amazing, why hadn't he done it ages ago? He couldn't resist running his hand along the short hair, delighting in the rasp of it against his palm. He heard Gareth chuckle quietly.Oh, no. There was no escaping now. He finally looked him in the eyes and there was something soft in them, something that made his heart skip a beat.“I… thank you, this looks much better than before.”“You do look pretty good,” Gareth said and he brushed some hair off his burning face with a careful finger and Fern had to get away from the contact or he really would do something embarrassing.“I- I'm going to take a shower before we go.”He didn’t say that the shower would be very cold, but had a feeling that Gareth knew.“Sure, I'll wait downstairs,” he said and left the room, closing the door behind him. Fern let out a shaky breath. He got in the shower, making the water very cold indeed to keep thoughts of a certain handsome bodyguard from occupying his brain. But every single time he touched his head he couldn't help but wonder whether Gareth’s hair would feel just the same under his palm. His skin was covered in goosebumps by the time he finished showering and he still felt his ears burning. No amount of cold water seemed to help with that.They got in the car and Gareth plopped a paper bag in his lap. Fern eyed it suspiciously.“What is this?”“Food. Ever heard of it?”“I may have, yes. But you don't need to bring me anything, I am perfectly capable of feeding myself.”This claim was met with a raised eyebrow.“So you have eaten breakfast today?”“Yes?” he tried. He forgot again.A second eyebrow joined the first. There was no getting past him.“Fine, I haven't eaten, I was calculating storm probability for this area and it turned out that the thaumic flows are acting strange, as if there is a hole somewhere and the flow is compensating for it and I don't know what's going on and it's annoying. So I was trying to pull up older data, but there was nothing like this there, so we need to use a different set up today to what I originally planned-”A hand appeared in front of his face, holding a sandwich. Fern hadn't even noticed him opening the bag.“I've got nothing against you talking, but you will eat while you're at it,” Gareth said, giving him quite a stern look. Fern wouldn’t be given a choice in this matter, it seemed, so he took the offered sandwich. “Thank you,” he said, taking a bite. It was nice. “So, as I was saying, we need a different set up, so it will probably take a bit longer to get it done. We will be anchoring devices that measure the thaumic flow as well as the intensity of interference. Starting at the lair again is the most obvious choice and from there I might be able to figure out where the hole in the flow is.”Fern thought he could see a smile flicker across Gareth’s lips when he started explaining. He did say that he didn’t mind him talking, so he kept going even as Gareth started the car and drove off. It helped him think, he found.They were nearing the dragon's lair when Fern spotted the telltale flash of wild magic high up in the atmosphere. This wasn’t supposed to be happening! His calculations weren't complete, but still there was no indication of a storm happening today!He grabbed at Gareth’s forearm with some urgency, because this storm would probably be quite a strong one, judging by the sickly green color of the flashes.“Turn the car around!”“What? Did you forget something?” Gareth asked. He'd been mouthing along to a song on the radio instead of paying attention to the clouds threatening to bring doom upon them. How could he not see what was about to happen?“There's a thaumic storm gathering right above us. I saw a motel some way back, we need to get there quickly, so turn. The car. Around!”Finally he seemed to understand and he slammed on the brakes, quickly turned the car back and raced to the motel.The receptionist wasn't being very helpful, though it wasn't exactly her fault.“There are many people sheltering from the storm and we do not seem to have any rooms with two single beds available, only double beds. Would you like two separate rooms?”“Yes,” Fern said, right at the same time as Gareth said his “no”.She was looking at them with some bewilderment, unsure as to who she should listen to.“I can't guard you from another room now, can I?” Gareth whispered to him.Fern had to concede that this was true, but that didn't mean he had to like it.“Ugh, fine,” he grumbled, then he turned back to the receptionist. “We'll take the one with the double bed, please. And I will be paying for the both of us,” he added with a pointed look towards Gareth. He couldn't keep getting him food and not expect repayment. Gareth had the grace not to argue.The storm was one of the strongest Fern had seen as of late and he regretted not setting up his thaumometer outside. Though it would have probably been blown away. Or incinerated. Or blasted into another dimension. Buildings were generally safe, since they had runes woven into the walls that repelled magic, but outside it was a different matter. Cars were usually warded too, but it still wasn't a good idea to stay in one, because while magic couldn't get in, it might definitely flip the car over with an explosion.Their room was hardly big enough to fit the double bed in the corner. There was a table with two chairs in the corner opposite, leaving just enough space for two people to pass each other on the way to the bathroom. They settled in the chairs and Gareth began unloading the contents of his backpack onto the table. There were more sandwiches, three apples, two bananas growing brown splotches, a water bottle and a tupperware of cookies. They looked homemade. “Did you bake these?” Fern asked. Gareth perked up at his interest and opened the box to offer him some.“Yeah, baking's fun. And I got these new cookie cutters from a friend, so I had to try them out.”The cookies were animal shaped. There were bats, turtles, and what looked like fat little unicorns.“I'm impressed the horns didn't break.” “Yeah, they're real fiddly. Also I might have made a lot of horses on accident, but I ate those.”Gareth grinned sheepishly and Fern couldn't help but laugh. He took a unicorn.The storm was raging outside the window, making the room flash in a kaleidoscope of colour, and Fern went to close the blinds before it gave him a migraine. There was no covering the crackle and boom of wild magic discharging everywhere, but he could live with that. He came back to sit down and Gareth was still getting things out of the backpack. “Wanna play some cards?” he asked when he pulled out a bright yellow tin.“Isn't that for children?”“It is. But it's fun, so what do you think?”“Hells, why not. It will help us pass the time at least.” Gareth explained the rules and it seemed fairly straightforward, but Fern still felt like an idiot doing this.“So I'm just supposed to say when I spot the same picture on both cards?”“Yeah, and you slap your card down on top of the one on the table and then we look for the next pair. You win when you get rid of all your cards.”The game was extremely annoying, especially because Gareth kept winning. It was about the fifteenth round, only three of which Fern managed to win; and one of those times he only won because Gareth got startled by an especially loud bang from outside and Fern took the opportunity to put down three cards disguised as one. They were yelling their finds over each other now, pushing each other’s hands out of the way to be the first to lay down the card.“Car. Snake. Sock. Unicorn.”Gareth was very fast with those cards. He had to be stopped. Fern finally found a pair too.“Cat. Rock. What the hells is this again? It looks like blood.”“Oh, that one's weird. I call it the splotch.”“Splotch, then. And rainbow.”Fern was leaning across the table to get closer to that damned stack of colorful cards. He was determined to win this time, but his chances weren't looking all that great and he nearly bumped heads with Gareth-He froze. He leaned way too close to him. He looked up into Gareth’s eyes hesitantly and the bastard grinned and slapped down his last card.“Dragon!” he said victoriously. “I don't think you're very good at this.”He was very bad at this, considering the stack still in his hands, but he wouldn't admit that out loud.“I have definitely had enough,” he said instead.Evening came and the storm was still going. They'd eaten some of their provisions and Fern had gone to take a shower. Gareth was messing around with the bedcovers when he came back.“I guess we won’t be getting out of here today, so we might as well get some sleep,” Gareth said and he was picking up some of the blankets from the bed and spreading them on the floor next to it.“What are you doing?” Fern asked, frowning at the pile of blankets at his feet.“Not sleeping in the same bed as a client?”“Don't be ridiculous, the bed is big enough for the both of us.”“Sorry, I don't make the rules.”“Is there actually one against sleeping with your clients?”What did he just hear himself say? He couldn’t have said something so stupid, surely. But the smirk on Gareth’s lips told him that he really did make an idiot of himself right now. “Sleeping with clients is kind of a hard no. I think you get it.” He yawned, stretching his arms up, and Fern was not watching the way his t-shirt rode up at all. “I'm gonna shower too and then I'm going to sleep,” Gareth added and left for the bathroom.It felt very wrong to let him sleep on the floor while Fern slept in a bed, but Gareth was just too damn stubborn. So if Gareth wouldn't come up, Fern would have to come down. He gathered the remaining bedcovers and plopped them on the floor next to Gareth’s nest, since there really was no floor space big enough for him to put them anywhere else. Fern arranged them for maximum softness and lay down. Gareth came back a moment later and gave him an incredulous look.“Why are you down there?”“I can't sleep when I know you're being obstinate and sleeping on the floor when there's a perfectly good bed right here. So I shan’t be using the bed either.”“You're not getting me in bed with you,” Gareth said and he looked so offended that it startled Fern into barking out a laugh. He really was ridiculous. But that changed nothing.“Fine. But I'm not getting back up there either.”Gareth came to the correct conclusion that there would be no more arguing about this and turned off the light and lay down next to him. Fern realized that they were probably closer like this than they would have been on the bed, but he wouldn’t admit to miscalculating once again, so he drew a blanket over himself and closed his eyes.“Good night, Gareth.”“Night, Fern,” Gareth said and Fern was very thankful that it was dark and he wouldn’t be seen blushing at just being called by his name. For the first time. By his bodyguard, whom he was very attracted to. But Gareth said it himself, he was a client, so he shouldn't be getting his hopes up.Fern woke up in the morning feeling surprisingly rested, his mind still fuzzy with the remnants of sleep. He hadn’t slept this well (or this long, if he was being honest with himself) in quite some time. And he was very warm, even though the blanket was on the thinner side. His cheek was resting against something soft and there was a comforting heartbeat under his ear- 
What?
His eyes shot open. He'd moved closer to Gareth during the night and was resting his head on his chest. He even managed to throw a leg over one of Gareth’s. And Gareth was lying stiff as a board and was definitely awake and he should have pushed him off, why did he let him stay there, this was absolutely mortifying, he was cuddling him like a teddy bear! And worst of all, he liked it.What was he supposed to do now? “Could you maybe… let me go, since you're awake? Gotta use the bathroom,” Gareth said, sounding quite strained. Fern scrambled off him, grateful that he didn't tease him about it. Gods knew he was embarrassed enough.They didn't talk much as they packed up to leave and Fern thought he could see Gareth sneak glances at him. Which only meant that Gareth caught Fern looking as well. They left the motel and the car was still where they'd parked it, looking no worse for wear, but the trees around the motel had definitely been affected. Their leaves were a myriad of colours and shapes, but there were broken and charred branches as well. The magical effects were always unpredictable, swinging wildly between destruction and ethereal beauty. Fern couldn’t stop himself from admiring the sight for a moment. They got in the car and Gareth turned to him with a somewhat worried expression. Fern hoped he wouldn't bring up their awakening. “Hey, I know I'm at work right now, but could we check on my mom? She lives a few miles away and I always visit her after storms like this to see if everything's fine.”There was no way he could refuse after using the man as his personal hot water bottle for most of the night.“Of course. We have plenty of time.”Gareth looked relieved, as if he'd been afraid he'd refuse. The drive was short and they quickly arrived at a small farmhouse with a fenced off pasture in the back. Gareth opened the front door and they stepped into the hallway. The walls were covered with child’s drawings of various animals; chickens pecking at worms, a cat lounging in a tree, cows standing in a field and so many more that Fern didn’t have time to properly look at them all as he went by. And in the center of the gallery was a bigger drawing of a boy astride a rearing unicorn. There was a figure watching the boy and written underneath it in great blocky letters was the word “MOM”. A little heart was attached to the last letter. The pictures were framed with great care and some of the colours were rather faded, as if they’d been hanging there for a very long time.“Mom? You here?” Gareth called out.“Hello, Cub.”A tall woman came out of the next room. Now Fern knew where Gareth got his red hair. And his freakish height.“Mom. I have a client with me.”He sounded like a put upon teenager and Fern found he liked his mother already.“This is Fern. Fern, this is my mom.” “Pleasure to meet you, madam,” he said, extending a hand. Out of the corner of his eye he spotted Gareth’s disbelieving expression. What? He could be polite when the situation called for it.“Just Braith will do,” she said with a warm smile. She turned to Gareth. “Could you go find Pointy? She was in the pasture yesterday and hasn't come back yet.”“Sure thing, I'll be right back with her. Wonder what color she’ll be this time.”Gareth went to gather whatever Pointy was, leaving Fern fidgeting awkwardly under Braith's stare.“I'll admit to being curious. What made you seek out my son's services?”“Um. I didn't. My mother contacted the agency in my stead.”“She must be worried about you.”Worried about her reputation if she allowed anything to happen to him more like. But he wouldn’t be unpacking all of that in front of a near stranger.“Maybe. She does care, in her own way,” he said, because that at least was true.“Mothers often do things their children find unreasonable.” She looked him up and down, frowning a little. “You'll stay for lunch.”“I couldn't possibly-” he started, but just like with Gareth, it proved pointless.“I wasn't asking, I was telling you. You're too skinny for your own good. Do you ever eat, young man?”“When the opportunity arises.”She laughed a little and the crows feet at the corners of her eyes reminded him very much of Gareth. But what was it with them insisting on feeding him all the time?“I'm going to tend to the chickens while we wait for him. Want to join me?”He found himself nodding. The chickens crowded them in a flurry of feathers and squawking as soon as they stepped out into the yard and Braith gave him a bowl of lettuce to hand out to the birds, while she went to pour grain into their feeders.He crouched down among the clucking noises and started giving out the shredded lettuce leaves, letting the chickens take them from his palm.“May I pose a silly question?” he said after a while. The chickens were nearly finished with the lettuce and were sticking their heads inside the bowl. He ran a gentle finger along a feathered back.“Hm?” Braith looked up from gathering eggs.“Why Cub?”“You have seen his hair, right? Like a fox's coat. And he's always been clever like a fox too. It just stuck, and I like to annoy him from time to time, lest he forgets who raised him.”Fern laughed. He really did like her. And now Gareth was coming back, leading a horse with him. No, not a horse. They had a unicorn! A real unicorn! Fern had never seen a live one before, let alone in captivity. Braith must have heard him gasp, because she called Gareth over to them. The animal was beautiful. It was a deep chestnut brown with reddish streaks running through its coat that looked like lightning patterns. And the horn was a work of art, deep red at the base, going through shades of pink, until it became a crystalline white at the tip. It almost glimmered in the sunlight.“You said her name is Pointy?” he asked. He would have expected a unicorn of all things to have a more… noble name, perhaps.“Yes, Gareth was like four when she came to us. And he insisted on naming her himself, so she's Pointy.”That explained things. But the name was growing on him, it was descriptive at least. Straight to the point.“Well, it does suit her, I suppose. But how did you- why is she- unicorns don't live in captivity, do they?”“She's no captive. She came to us herself and she can leave whenever she pleases. That fence is there to keep things out, not her in.”“And she was out in the storm yesterday? They are meant to use their horns to collect excess magic during thaumic storms, which grants them some extent of magical ability. That is why there are legends about them having healing powers, it's because they actually could use healing magic. And does she really change color during the storms? Does the color depend on the intensity of the storm or is it random?”He was rambling again. He probably shouldn't have started talking, but he was so excited about meeting a unicorn and this was getting embarrassing. But she was watching him with a kind smile and actually didn't seem annoyed by him.“You do know your animals. You study them?”“I specialize more in dragons, but yes, there were unicorns in the curriculum as well, among other things.”“Want to meet her up close?”He nodded eagerly. There was no way he would pass up this opportunity.“And she does change color after storms, I think she likes it. But I don't know if the colors are random or not. Maybe you could come have a look after the next storm and tell me what you think.”He came up to Pointy, who was sniffing at him curiously and she was very big this close and this was so amazing, he got to see a unicorn! He raised a hesitant hand to her muzzle, not touching yet. Unicorns couldn't very well see things right in front of them because of the way their eyes were positioned and he really did not want to startle her, but she shoved gently at his hand, asking for a pat. Fern thought he would faint with the excitement, but managed to just barely collect himself and stroke her gently. When he drew the hand back, there was a green handprint on her nose.“Ha, she likes you. Used to do this for Gareth when he was little. Her legs would be covered in tiny handprints for days.”Pointy seemed to decide that she’d been fawned over enough and walked over to the stable to munch on her feed.“Let’s go eat too, since we're all here,” Braith said and they walked back inside.“I'm gonna go get a new t-shirt first, this one's all gross after I slept in it,” Gareth announced and Fern was surprised that he didn't have a whole wardrobe back in his car, but stayed silent. Gareth continued. “Hey, there are probably some of my old things you could borrow. I was your size when I was like… fifteen?”Fern looked at his rumpled t-shirt. He could do with a change of clothes, that much was obvious. “I would appreciate that.”Gareth left to find the clothes and Fern found himself helping Braith set the table.“I have a question for you too,” she said as she began pouring soup into bowls.“Go ahead,” he said, but wasn't very happy about her suddenly serious expression.“So, you are my son's client, yes?”“I am.”“And you are certain of that?” she asked, her eyes narrowing just a touch. Shouldn't he be?“Yes?”“He looks at you like you are much more than that. Take care with your actions towards him, please. He is a very kind soul and I would hate to see him come to harm.”There was an edge of warning to her words, Fern couldn't help but notice. He could see where Gareth got that protective streak. “Oh. I- we- it’s not-”He meant to explain that there wasn’t and never could be anything between them, and Braith’s expression turned from wariness to amusement at his stammering, but Gareth was back and he was handing him a black t-shirt with a faded picture of a dragon on it. It wasn’t very anatomically correct, but he probably didn't need to say that out loud. “Thank you,” he said instead and went into the bathroom to change. The t-shirt was too big on him, but it was Gareth’s and that was… it didn't bear thinking about! He was his bodyguard, he couldn't pursue him, no matter what kind of looks he was supposedly giving him when he wasn't watching. And yet here he was, moping in the bathroom in a borrowed t-shirt, wanting more. He walked back into the kitchen before he moped himself to death.They ate, Gareth launching into an elaborate story about the trouble he got into trying to ride Pointy when he was ten. Braith chimed in occasionally to give details and Fern had to keep reminding himself to eat, because Gareth was so endearing, gesturing with his spoon and the story itself was captivating.“She carried me right into the stream in the woods and bucked me off. That’s when I learned that unicorns are little shits.”“Be glad she didn't throw you into the blackberry bush instead,” Braith said.“It still would have been better than the yelling I got from you.”“You did deserve it, Cub. You could have gotten yourself killed.”“I know. But it was still fun while it lasted,” Gareth grinned and Fern realized that he was grinning right back. Braith shot him such a knowing look that he preferred to stare into the remnants of his soup.All too soon they were finished and Fern was almost sad to leave the place. They said their goodbyes, Braith assuring Fern that he really was welcome to visit Pointy whenever he wished.They finally reached the lair again, a mere day and a half later than he expected. Fern got the instruments he needed from his backpack and lined them up on the ground. Thaumometer, hammer and fifteen stakes with monitoring devices attached. The devices needed to remain in the correct position for at least a day, preferably longer, and he found that hammering them into the ground was the simplest solution, even if it wasn't a particularly elegant one.Fern was hammering the first stake into the ground and of course he had to hit his thumb on the third pass of the hammer. He let out a grunt of pain and Gareth was on him in a split second, as if he had just lost a limb and not merely hit himself with a hammer like an idiot. He took hold of his hand to inspect the blooming bruise and his fingers were so gentle again and Fern was probably blushing a lot. “It looks like it's gonna be fine, but give me that before you kill yourself.”Gareth just took the hammer from him without waiting for an answer and went to get more stakes. Fern didn't even manage to make a noise of protest.“So, where do these go?” Gareth asked, gesturing towards the rest of the stakes with the hammer.“The next one goes over here.”Fern found himself walking around, holding the stakes and handing them to Gareth, who pounded them into the ground. He needed to get the readings as accurate as possible, so he took the thaumometer and set to measuring the flow to see where to put the next one. This was so much better than when he had to work alone. They were finished much faster than he expected and Gareth drove him home.Gareth walked him to the door and Fern was very much uncertain about what was supposed to happen next, so he was glad when Gareth took the initiative. “Thanks for coming with me to check on mom. You didn't have to do that,” he said. “It was no trouble, really, I enjoyed myself. And I met a unicorn, so I should be thanking you as well.”“Heh, alright,” Gareth chuckled and then seemed to remember something. “Would you do one more thing for me?”He was appalled to realize that he probably would be doing things Gareth asked of him, even though he didn't yet know what they were.“What do you need?”“Eat breakfast tomorrow, okay?”Damn him. Now he really did have to make that grocery trip.“Ugh. Fine,” he said, because his eagerness to do things for him (what the hells, Fern?) did not mean that it wasn't annoying.“Good,” Gareth smiled and clapped him on the shoulder. The hand lingered just a touch longer than it probably had to and he must have realized, because he drew it back with a slightly sheepish look, clearing his throat in an awkward rumble. Fern missed the contact.“So, I'd better get going. Same time tomorrow?”“Same time tomorrow. And thank you.”Gareth nodded, got in the car and left. Fern kept watching until he rounded a corner and disappeared from sight and only then went inside to get a bag for the shopping he now really had to do. He probably could have changed his t-shirt since he was here, there certainly were many clean ones in his closet. He kept Gareth’s t-shirt on.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“So, what did you have for breakfast?”Fern wasn't looking very happy with himself, so he either forgot, or burned down half the kitchen. “Instant oatmeal,” he said. “I have decided to try something new.”“Oh, and how did that go?” “Badly. It was extremely disgusting.”So it was a secret third thing. Fern was making such a face that he had to laugh, which only managed to transform Fern’s expression into one of indignation. “Good thing I brought you the rest of the cookies then,” Gareth said, taking the tupperware out of his backpack. The way Fern’s face lit up when he saw them was just adorable. He opened the box and took one. A unicorn again, he seemed to like those best. “Oh, I forgot to give you something,” he said between bites. ”Wait here, please.”“Okay?”Fern ran upstairs, returning moments later with Gareth’s old t-shirt.“Here's your t-shirt back.”It was washed, Gareth noticed, and carefully folded, like it was important. But he didn't really need it, it wasn't like he’d be wearing it ever again.“Nah, you can keep it. Doesn't fit me anyway. And it looks good on you.”What the everloving fuck was wrong with him? He was way past pretending Fern was only a client, but he still shouldn’t be complimenting him all the time, not if he didn’t want to take this any further. And he didn’t. Couldn’t. But he’d already slept with him. Next to him. Not entirely by choice, but he had to admit to having liked it. He didn’t actually believe Fern would hold out and sleep on the floor, but he did, dropping off in minutes. And then he scooted over and started cuddling him and he felt so guilty for letting him, but he looked so tired and needy, and who was he kidding, that really wasn't just about Fern. Gareth wanted him so bad. He was so sweet when he ranted about his interests. And really pretty. But Gareth just couldn’t do this.And so he spent most of the night tense as hell, because he didn't want to wake him up by moving him, but he also couldn’t do anything about it, because Fern didn't even know they were cuddling and he was panicking and then Fern woke up and he looked so embarrassed that Gareth preferred not to talk about it.While he was busy yelling at himself inside his head, Fern's hand retreated with the t-shirt. He didn’t seem to want to argue about it, which felt strange, since he argued about damn near everything. Did he actually… want to keep it? He didn't even put it down, just kept holding it, brushing a thumb over the fabric.He had to stop. Right now. He was a professional and there was a job to do. “So what's on the agenda today? More storm chasing? But I'd rather sleep in a bed this time. “This was not what stopping looked like! But he made Fern huff out a laugh and that laugh was making him feel things he definitely shouldn't be feeling. “Nothing so strenuous. But a bed can be arranged in the future,” Fern added with a lopsided grin.Was he. Was he actually flirting with him. What the hells. But he couldn't flirt back. He should also stop making that surprised face. He preferred it when Fern was the one who was flustered. Like during that haircut…He had to pull himself together!He cleared his throat. “Yeah, alright,” he said. Great job, Gareth, you idiot. At least Fern had enough presence of mind to change the subject.“You still haven’t told me why I need you to protect me. It's not like there are people out to get me.”Gareth was embarrassed to admit that he didn't really know. This time, contrary to all the regulations, he hadn’t exactly been told what he was up against. Just that Fern’s mother was worried about his research drawing unwanted attention.“I guess you're just that important.”“Why don't I believe that?” he said with a roll of his eyes. “Anyway, I am taking a break today. Do they pay you to protect me on my breaks as well?”“They don’t give a shit what we do, as long as you come out of it alive.”“Great. I’m going for a walk then. You can join me, if you like.”He would be the death of him. Who just “took a break” from their day job like that?“Don’t you have to go to work?”“The fact that my research cannot run on a strict schedule affords me small mercies like this. The next bigger interference will be happening tomorrow, so there is time until then.”Small mercies. Right. But he could do with a walk, he really needed to clear his head. Fern put the t-shirt away and he was getting his shoes and Gareth found he mostly wanted to spend time with him, no matter what they were doing. There would probably be no head-clearing on that walk.“Alright, where we going?”They ended up driving to the woods a little way from the city; the smell of pine was filling the air, birds were chirping everywhere and it was… nice. When did he last take a walk with someone? Far too long ago, Sam was always busy, and his love life had been nonexistent for too many years.Fern was going on about thaumic something or other again. Gareth liked listening to him ramble, even though he only got about half of what he meant and it looked like he was only trying to sort out his thoughts anyway, not really expecting his input. Fern suddenly stopped walking, because apparently all the brainpower went into the talking now and there was none left for the feet and he was gesturing wildly, like he was trying to grab a thought out of the air.“And the thaumic flow is like little streams in the air, but when the wrong frequencies bump into each other an interference happens, and if you get enough of those in one place then a storm happens. But there’s a place somewhere close to the city which the flow seems to go into and just… stop. And that is not supposed to happen, has never happened before and I don’t-”There was a rustle at their feet and a snake poked its head out of the grass.“Hey, look, a ring sna-” Gareth started and Fern looked down and fucking screeched at seeing a snake slither its way around his feet. It was hilarious. But then the poor snake raised itself up a little to sniff at Fern’s shoe and he jumped straight up and Gareth caught him reflexively, ending up with an armful of a very embarrassed half-elf. He was still way too light. And still pretty, even prettier up close like this. His eyes were wide, looking at him incredulously, and they were a very nice shade of green. Like moss on a rainy day.“Would you put me down, please?”Shit, he'd been caught up in those eyes for way too long.“Yeah, sure thing,” he said, proud that he hadn't stammered. What the hells, he was forty, not a damn kid to get caught staring like that. How was he suddenly so bad at this? He had to think about something else. And actually put him down.“What is it with you and animals?” he asked standing Fern in front of himself. “You always flip out about them, but you were all over the chickens and Pointy and you love dragons. What gives?”“Unicorns don't jump out at me from bushes. And dragons are not trying to bite my feet when I am explaining something.”He was waving his arms around in annoyed lines, as if it was the snake’s fault it scared him.“The snake was just looking at you. It's not even venomous.”“Apologies to the snake, then. But perhaps it should look from a greater distance next time.”Fern had that lopsided grin again. It suited him.“It’s a snake, they can’t see for shit from a distance. Maybe it liked your shoes.”And Gareth made him laugh. He liked that he could do that.Now they were going up a hill with way too few trees, because Fern had decided he wanted to look at the lake on the other side of it, it was way too fucking hot, and Gareth had had enough. He took off his t-shirt, stuffing it into his backpack. He didn’t stop walking, just lagged a little behind Fern, who didn’t even notice, because he was too caught up in some long-winded explanation again. Gareth wished he could follow what he was saying, but there were too many technical details right now and he’d gotten lost in the torrent of words some time ago. Risk of heatstroke sorted, he jogged back to Fern’s side. He was still talking and how was he not getting out of breath?“...and I really don’t think that the thaumic flow should just disappear like that. It goes against everything we know about… it.”Fern appeared to have short-circuited. His eyes widened for a moment, fixing themselves to Gareth’s bare chest, before he dragged them back up to his face. It seemed to take him great effort to look him in the eyes. Gareth was flattered.“You don’t have your t-shirt on,” he said, as if he thought Gareth hadn’t noticed. He probably broke him.“Huh. Must have dissolved in the heat, I guess,” he said, looking down. He wasn’t above being a little shit too. Fern had inspired him with that blender comment. And he laughed again. This walk was great.They kept walking and he pretended not to see Fern stealing glances at him. It was nice to be appreciated. They finally crested the hill and the lake was beautiful, the blue of it reflecting the cloudless sky just right. Dragging themselves here was worth it after all. He turned to Fern, who was fishing around in his pockets, until he finally found what he wanted with a small “aha”. Did he just take a fucking thaumometer out of his pocket?“I thought you were taking a break,” Gareth said. He couldn’t believe him.“Hm?” Fern looked up from already taking a reading (when did he even turn the thing on?) and there was a crease between his brows and he was just so adorably focused that Gareth chuckled.“I said that I thought today was a break kind of day.”“Oh. Well, but this is such a good spot to take a reading and I always carry the thaumometer with me when I go outside, because I might need it.”“You have really weird priorities. You don’t remember to eat, but you take a fucking thaumometer everywhere.”Fern almost looked affronted.“My research is very important, I’ll have you know.”“Yeah, but so are you.”What? He didn’t mean for it to come out so earnest, but here they were. Fern’s eyes were wide like he’d just brought him the stars themselves and not just stated the obvious and they were still the prettiest green he’d ever seen. His cheeks were turning pink and Gareth should stop staring at him, this was way too much. Fern took a step closer and reached out to touch his forearm and he was leaning up, because Gareth was way too tall for him and oh fuck, he wanted to kiss him.Shit, no. He wasn’t ready for this, he wanted him so much, but couldn't do this yet. If ever. This really wasn’t about Fern being a client anymore. Not even about him being way younger than Gareth, they were both adults, they could work with that. But there was one other thing, the one he hated to admit to himself.He was scared.“Lake sure is pretty, huh?” he said, desperate for something, anything, to steer them away from this. He turned just slightly away, pretending not to notice the flash of hurt in Fern’s expression.“It is,” Fern said. Gareth hated the flatness of his voice. “We should head back. We’ll be going to the dragon’s lair again tomorrow and there will probably be a lot to do, so you should get some rest before we go,” he continued and Gareth understood that he was being politely shut out. They went back down the hill, but must have taken a wrong turn somewhere in the woods. Fern was uncharacteristically quiet and it unnerved Gareth. He would at least make him talk to him.“Are we lost, Fern?”“What? Of course not, why would we be lost?”It wasn’t as good as when he smiled, but the offended look was still better than the sad silence.“Because I've already seen this boulder three times from different angles.”Fern looked up at said boulder, considering. And something must have caught his eye, because he left Gareth standing there and started climbing up. What was it with him and climbing everywhere? And of course he slipped before Gareth could get to him and fuck, he hit the ground hard.“Shit, Fern, are you okay?”He was sitting there, looking more embarrassed than hurt. Gareth wanted to offer him a hand up, but he figured that it might not be welcome after the almost-kiss. Fern stood up, dusting himself off.“I… think so? I saw an interesting rock up there and I wanted to have a look at it.”“A rock.”“I'm sorry for scaring you, I just… I got a bit caught up.”And now he was sad about the dumb rock as well as not getting to kiss him. Fuck. He had to do something. The rock was sitting up there, being all pretty sandy yellow with silvery veins, and maybe he could make him happier with this? It was easy enough to climb up and grab it and he gave the rock to Fern who held it in his hands like it was the most precious gem.“Thank you, that was very kind of you,” Fern said, and he finally smiled a little and the chasm between them felt just a tiny bit smaller. “It's nothing, really,” Gareth said, which was a lie, because Fern’s smiles were everything. Fern put the rock in his pocket and they kept walking and the silence was maybe a little more comfortable now. They finally found the car and Gareth put his t-shirt back on before he got in, because unlike the woods, the car had working air conditioning. Fern kept checking him out when he thought he wasn't looking and it was still very flattering. And terribly cute. He drove Fern home, pretending not to be happy that Fern kept admiring the rock he got him, and walked him to the door again, even though he probably shouldn't have. It was awkward, obviously. Fern was shutting him out again.“So, uh, see you tomorrow?”“Yes,” he said, but he didn’t look very excited about it. Why should he be? Gareth had just shown him he wasn't interested. What did it matter that he actually was? “Goodbye, Gareth. Thank you for the company.”“Bye, Fern.”He wanted to touch him, to say something else, to explain how he felt, but Fern was already turning away and walking into the house. The door clicked shut.Gods, he fucked up.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

This was… awkward. They were at the lair again, taking more readings and the almost kiss was hanging between them, stopping any attempts at communication. Fern wanted to take it back, because then they could at least talk without everything feeling so forced, but it was too late now. The whole of yesterday had been a godsdamned disaster. Gareth had been giving every indication that he was interested, but when Fern finally gathered enough courage to do anything about it, that interest was gone. Just like that. It seemed that Braith was wrong after all, as Gareth had shown him that flirting was all he would get. And he wasn’t sad about it. Wasn’t mourning the possibility of more at all.

He cast a glance in Gareth’s direction. He was checking the devices they'd set up the day before yesterday for signs of detachment, which really only meant he was grabbing the stakes and trying to wiggle them out of the ground. The way his arm muscles moved when he was doing it was very distracting and he must have felt Fern's stare, because he looked up from his work and gave him a hesitant smile. Fern attempted to smile back. It did not work out very well, based on the sad look he got in return.

They were packing up to leave when there was a rush of wind and Fern’s ears twitched. Wingbeats. Getting closer.

He looked up and there was a dragon above them, floating in the sky, and she was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. Scales a deep ocean blue glittering in the sunlight, long slender body twisting through the air like a snake’s, claws glinting with promise of death and she

saw them

.

She was circling lower and there was nowhere to hide and she shouldn't have been here in the first place, there was an interference nearby that should have drawn her away. Something was very wrong about this, but there was no time to wonder, because the dragon was on the ground now, stalking towards them, tail flicking.

Oh no. They were threatening her home. Dragons did not tolerate that. She was coming closer now and Gareth took Fern by the arm and dragged him behind himself, trying to hide him from her. What did he think he was doing? There was nothing he could do to stop her.

She pounced.

Gareth threw him aside, and Fern got his breath knocked out of him when he hit the ground. And the dragon was swiping at Gareth with a great claw, catching his abdomen, tossing him away in the other direction. Gareth ended up crumpled against a boulder, he was trying to get up, holding his hand against his stomach, and the hand was bloody and this couldn’t be happening! The dragon was slowly moving closer to him, going in for the kill, and everything froze.

Fear.

There was so much of it that it was swallowing Fern whole.

Something stirred behind his sternum, a feeling like a battle cry, tearing itself out in a thundering wave.

There was an electric crackle in the air, like a massive bolt of lightning earthing itself. The sound tore at Fern’s ears, almost deafening him and the dragon didn't like it either, because she turned her head around to see what it was and a boulder at her back exploded in a million sharp parts, hitting her flanks, scoring bloody gashes into her skin. Her body shielded Gareth’s, luckily. She took off in a great beating of wings and the space fell quiet.

He ran to Gareth, who was still struggling to get up.

“No! No, no, NO! Stop moving! You're bleeding, you damned idiot!”

”But you're safe,” the idiot rasped and had the gall to give him a weak smile. “I did it.”

“I- you-”

What did it matter that Fern was safe if it got Gareth hurt like this? Fern was trying to put pressure on the wound, but there was so much blood, it kept flowing against his fingers, staining them a horrible mocking red. His pulse was thundering in his ears, his hands were shaking, he couldn't breathe, couldn't see through the damned tears and the blood was still flowing, he was bleeding out, gods below, he was DYING! Gareth was too pale, his eyes were closing and Fern would

not

take this.

The feeling was back, his whole body was alight with it, burning bright, and he willed it into his hands, making it flicker across his fingertips and the wound was growing smaller, muscle and skin knitting themselves together and what in all the hells was happening, he didn't have magic, that was impossible! And Gareth was moving again, his eyes snapping wide open, hand coming up to touch his stomach.

“You… healed me? How?”

He didn’t know, didn't care at all, because Gareth was alive and he had to give it one more try. Fern grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him into a fierce kiss. But Gareth froze and Fern started to move away, because he'd obviously overstepped. Yesterday was a clear indicator of how this was going to go. He shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up again. But Gareth caught him by the nape of his neck and dragged him back in, letting their lips connect once more, a soft exploration this time.

Fern drew back with a sigh. This was… he barely had words to describe the pure joy of it. Gareth’s hand was still holding onto him, not letting him move too far away, their foreheads were touching and Fern was gazing into Gareth’s amber eyes and they were so beautiful that he was barely able to find his way out of them. His hands moved to Gareth’s cheeks and he was staining them with blood. His blood. Fern’s hands were absolutely covered with it.

“I may have gotten you a bit… dirty. I apologize.”

Gareth touched the drying blood on his cheek.

“That's fine, I've got some wet wipes in my backpack.”

And that did it. Of course he would have them, he had damn near everything in his backpack. He was so damn ridiculous and looking so surprised when Fern started giggling and there was no way he could stop now, because he had stupid wet wipes in his backpack and Fern got to kiss him and his hands were red with his blood and he almost died right in front of him-

The giggles turned into sobs. And Gareth held him as he trembled, the shock of it all finally catching up to him. Then there were no more tears and he took a shaky breath, disentangling himself. He didn’t want to think about this anymore.

“I’m sorry. We should probably clean up.”

Gareth stroked a hand against his cheek and it took everything he had not to start crying again. They went to find Gareth’s backpack and Fern very much wanted to hold his hand along the way, but a glance at the still very vivid red on his fingers stopped him in his tracks. Gareth noticed the aborted motion of his hand and tangled their fingers together. His left hand was bloody too and his touch was sticky and awful and oh so comforting.

Fern cleaned his hands

very

thoroughly, because he very much wanted the evidence of Gareth’s near death gone. He looked up when he was done and Gareth’s hand was no longer bloody as well. Good. He was trying to clean his face now but failing miserably, he was just making his whole face red with a too bloody wipe.

“Give me that, you're just smearing it around.”

He snatched the wipe from Gareth’s hand, throwing it on the ground, and took a new one to begin getting him clean.

“Fern?” Gareth said after a while.

“Hm?”

The freckles of his cheeks were once again coming to light and Fern may have been a little too absorbed in the task of unearthing them to respond with anything more than a hum.

“Why didn't you tell me you can use magic? You go on about it all the fucking time, but you didn't think to mention this?”

Gareth seemed offended, as if Fern had been hiding parts of himself away. Which could not be further from the truth. It had been a very long time since he'd been able to just… be unapologetically himself. Not to mention be

liked

for it. That just didn't happen. But he should probably stop moping and respond, as Gareth’s eyebrow began an upward drift once again.

“I… did not know about it until now, truly. Only elves are capable of using magic, and not even all of them. That is why they hate mixing with humans so much, they are afraid of their magic disappearing.”

“Huh.”

How eloquent. He kept on gently rubbing at a particularly dried on bit of blood. Did he spend so much time crying that the blood stuck to Gareth’s skin so thoroughly? He needed to get a grip on himself, he wasn’t the one who was at death’s door just minutes ago. Finally he was done, all the freckles were visible, and he placed a kiss on the tip of Gareth’s nose as an afterthought, making Gareth blush a little. He could get used to this.

“So, we need to figure out the magic,” Gareth said, and Fern realized that he forgot all about

that

in the exhilaration of saving him. And possibly the kisses had something to do with it as well.

“You’re right. I would prefer to be able to do it on purpose.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a good thing. Not exploding things on accident.”

They left the lair, because the dragon might think to return once it had licked its wounds, and set up on a nearby hill. Fern was trying very hard to figure this out, but it just wasn’t working! And Gareth was not helpful

at all

.

“You're overthinking it. Just feel it or something, you definitely weren't thinking when you healed me before.

Fern was getting extremely annoyed with Gareth. Couldn't he let him focus for one second?

“Maybe try closing your eyes, that helps me concentrate. Or like breathe deeply, that might do it.”

“Would you shut the fuck up I'm trying to THINK!”

A boulder erupted in a shower of shrapnel some way away..

“Heh, you said fuck. Never heard you say that before.”

Of course Gareth would latch onto this. Nevermind that Fern accidentally exploded a piece of rock because he was emotional. Again.

“You also haven't annoyed me so intensively up till now.”

“Fair,” he said, and he was grinning that absolutely ridiculous grin again. Fern loved it. “Okay, so should I piss you off again?” And still he managed to be annoying.

“I'd much rather you didn't, thank you. Who's to say you won't be the one to explode next time?”

The surprised face Gareth made was priceless.

But he had it at last. He'd followed the feeling when it tore its way out of him and there it was, a warm presence inside his chest, beating in time with his heart.

How could he have lived without it until now? It felt like an inextricable part of him, expanding his awareness of the flow of magic everywhere and he could almost

see

it, if he concentrated enough. He grasped it gently, leading it to his fingertips and they crackled with colorful sparks. This was glorious! He had magic!

Gareth was watching his hands with such awe and he reached out to touch a finger against Fern’s. The contact was a burning point of light, dragging him in, and he could feel Gareth’s lifeblood pumping, feel his heart race, sense the wonder in his mind-

“Huh. Tingles.”

It did tingle.

He kissed him on the lips again and Gareth allowed it without hesitation this time. They parted and Gareth had a very boyish grin. It suited him.

“So, what else can you do?” He looked around, probably for something for Fern to explode. “Hey, can you blow up this rock if I throw it?” And Fern was right. But he wouldn’t pretend that he hadn’t been wondering about the extent of his abilities as well.

It turned out that blowing up a moving thing was harder, but he got it in the end. It was just a matter of using the magic inside him to manipulate the thaumic flow, giving it a push in the right direction, disrupting a stream here, changing a frequency there, adding a burst of energy to make things come apart… It was taking a lot out of him and it was as natural as breathing at the same time. And so much fun, even more when he saw the excitement on Gareth’s face as he watched him succeed.

But finally he was spent, the rumble of magic behind his sternum turning into a low purr and he couldn’t produce one more spark. He would have to be more careful about this in the future, who knew how long it would take for the magic to replenish. Gareth didn’t argue when he announced his wish to go home and rest, and they held hands on the way to the car. They drove back to Fern’s house and were saying their goodbyes at the front door again. But maybe they didn’t have to say goodbye tonight?

“Would you like to come in?” Fern said. He wanted him to stay so much. But Gareth was fidgeting and he was getting that closed off look again, the one he had yesterday when he refused him. This wasn’t going to go well.

“I'll… come tomorrow morning, alright? Today’s been a lot, I need to process for a bit.”

“Oh. Of course, take your time.” Fern looked down, working hard to hide his disappointment, but it was likely very obvious, judging by the way Gareth’s voice softened.

“Hey,” he said, lifting Fern’s chin up with a finger. “I liked the kisses, I really did, but I also almost died and I need to calm down before we do anything else.”

That was entirely rational. Also still terribly disappointing.

He watched him drive away and wasn’t at all going to cry. Today might have been a lot for him as well.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Gareth really didn’t want to leave Fern standing there, looking like a kicked puppy, but he did need a moment. These past two days were a lot. He didn’t manage to evade the kiss this time and he'd even reciprocated. And liked it. Loved it, really. Fuck, it was scary. And he almost died. Wasn't the first time, but it always made emotions run a little high when it happened, and he wasn’t usually in the habit of kissing his rescuer. But with Fern it felt right and being hopped up on adrenaline probably helped things along…

What the fuck was he supposed to do now?

He almost turned the car around to go back to him, but he would probably do something dumb. He needed to talk to someone at least a little impartial.

Sam.

She would yell at him for being a dumbass and everything would be alright. He drove to her apartment in the city. She managed to score herself a nice place and had a job at a construction company making rune wards for buildings. She was such a tech nerd. Gareth was glad she’d wanted to join his merc band back in the day. Not that he would have actually let her join, but it gave him the kick he needed to get out, and he got a little sister out of it too.

He knocked on the door and she took her time getting to it. Oh yeah, she must have been sleeping already, he didn’t realize it was that late. The door swung open and there she was in her fluffy bathrobe, hair all messy, squinting up at him through her glasses.

“Hey, Sam. Sorry I woke you up.”

“Hi, Gareth. What's up? You look like shit.”

Straight to the point as always.

“You never fail to lift up my spirits, sister dear,” he grinned.

“That's what I'm here for.” She gave him a bow and he already felt lighter.

They went to sit on the couch, like they always did when he came over to chat and her cat settled himself on Gareth’s lap, purring softly. He scratched the orange dumbass behind the ears to make him purr louder.

“Hello, Mr Stocking,” he said to him, waiting for the fallout to come. And it did.

Sam groaned. “How many times do I have to tell you that he’s called Socks?”

“But there’s only one of him. And he’s way too long to be a sock. So he’s a stocking.”

She smacked him in the face with a pillow and he grabbed it out of her hands. Yeah, he needed this. Annoying his nerds was fun. Wait. When did he start thinking of Fern as his? Oh fuck. He slapped the pillow softly against the top of her head. Suddenly his heart wasn’t in it and she caught on immediately.

“Gareth, what's wrong? You've got that dumb heartsick look again. Who broke up with you this time?”

Rude of her, if understandable. His relationship track record wasn’t exactly the best.

“It’s not that for once,” he said, grimacing at the memory of all the break-ups. Not helpful right now. “We actually kissed for the first time today but I also may have almost gotten myself killed before that and he saved me and I don’t have a fucking clue what to do now.”

“Alright, that's a lot to unpack. Which one is the bigger problem right now?”

“Enh. Like this isn’t the first time I got hurt. I think I can deal with that on my own, but the kissing was… ugh, I don’t know. I wanted it, but I didn’t want to want it and he asked me to come in when I dropped him off at home and I just couldn’t.” He sighed, making Mr Stocking do that fucking adorable mrrp noise and bump his chin with his forehead. Gareth scratched at the cat’s back. “I don't know if I can do this, I didn't want to get together with anyone again. It's just… every single person I've been with broke up with me once they found out I'm ace. Why should this time be any different?”

“Well you keep dating assholes. Is this one an asshole? Should I get ready to go break some legs?” He knew she would, if he asked. So much rage in such a small package, they never saw her coming.

“I appreciate that, but he's actually very sweet.”

“Fine, I won't break his legs. Unless he hurts you. What’s his name?”

“Fern.”

Why did he say it like it was a fucking prayer? He was in too deep, getting such a dumb smile just at mentioning his name.

“You like him a lot, huh?”

“So fucking much.”

He did

not

mean to say that. And Sam was laughing at him.

“You've got it so bad, man. Tell me about him. What's he like?”

He wanted to talk about him. A lot. About how fucking awesome he was. Gareth was surprised he could admit that part now.

“He's so cute, you know. He keeps rambling about shit I barely understand, but he makes it sound so interesting, I have no idea how he does it. And he cares so much about everything. And he can be a little shit. He’s fun.”

“That's nice. Does he have a good ass, though?”

That pivot made him bark out a laugh. He could always count on her to make him laugh through the worst fucking shit.

“Do you ever think about anything but people's asses?”

She waggled her eyebrows at him.

“People's boobs.”

“Of course you do,” he chuckled. “But yeah, he does have a nice ass. And the greenest eyes…”

What was happening to him, sighing like that? And Sam was just as weirded out as him.

“Who the hells are you and what did you do to Gareth? I have never heard him sigh about people's eyes before.”

“Just you wait till you hear me describe his lips,” he grinned, teasing. He couldn't pass up that opportunity to annoy her, she hated soppy shit.

“Eugh. No thanks. But I still don't see the problem. You like him. You kissed, so he likes you too.”

And his joking mood was gone. He didn't want to deal with it at all, but this was why he came here, wasn't it? He could tell her, she would understand.

“I'm scared, Sam. I’ve had enough of getting hurt.”

She softened, drawing him into a hug. She was so small compared to him, but her hugs were somehow the best. And he definitely wasn’t going to cry about this, there was no reason to cry, obviously. But maybe he sobbed a little, making Sam hold him tighter. Was he actually crying about this?

“I think he's not like the other ones you've dated. He actually seems nice,” she said to his not at all shaking shoulder.

“He is nice,” he said into her hair. “But he looked so fucking sad when I was leaving and what if he doesn't want me after this?”

“Gods, you're so soft for a former merc. He wanted you before and you had a good reason to leave. I'm sure he'll come around.”

“I hope so,” he said and his voice had no right to be this small. What in the hells was Fern doing to him? But at least he wasn't crying anymore. She drew back, looking at him with narrowed eyes.

“Get out of here.”

“What?”

“Get out of here, you big dumbass, and go kiss your boyfriend. And tell him you like him or something.”

She was right. She often was, where he was concerned. It was annoying. He removed Mr Stocking from his lap and got up to leave.

“Thanks, Sam. I knew I could count on you.”

“Yeah, yeah, I love you and all that. Now away with you, I’m going back to bed.” She yawned, looking pointedly towards the door. He grinned, gave her a wave and left, driving back to Fern’s house.

There was a light on downstairs. Huh. Did he forget to turn it off? He rang the doorbell and Fern was quick to arrive at the door, opening it with his elbow because his hands were covered in… flour?

“Hey. I know it's not morning yet, but I think we need to talk.”

Fern nodded. “I agree. Will you come in this time?”

“Sure. Thanks.”

He stepped aside to allow Gareth to walk into the hallway

Gareth noticed the rock from their walk was sitting on a shelf in the hallway. There were other pretty rocks, but this new one was taking center stage. The sight was doing funny things to his heart. He continued into the kitchen, where Fern was standing at the sink, washing his hands, and Gareth just had to ask.

“What were you doing up? It's kinda late.”

Fern's eyes were red, and the redness didn't seem to come just from being tired after messing around in the kitchen in the middle of the night.

“Baking.”

“You. Baking.”

“Yes. I couldn't focus on work and I couldn't sleep either, so I thought I'd try something new. You made it sound interesting. But I didn’t get much further than gathering ingredients.”

Why the fuck was he so cute. It was getting unbearable. But the kitchen was a fucking mess. Bowls everywhere, flour on the floor, a splatter of what looked like an egg on the wall behind the counter-

“Why is there an egg on the wall?

“You may have startled me by ringing the doorbell in the middle of the night.”

“Sorry about that. Want some help with the cleanup?”

Fern looked around the kitchen and gave a defeated sigh. “Yes, please.”

He looked so tired. Gareth just wanted to tuck him into bed and talk in the morning. But delaying it probably wouldn't help, so he got to sweeping the flour on the floor and Fern started on the egg catastrophe. Egg-tastrophe?

“Gareth?”

“Yeah?”

“Why did you come back now?"

Alright, so cleaning and talking. He could do both.

“I… had a chat with my sister. She helped me realize some things.” He swept the flour into a little pile and looked around for a dustpan.

“Such as?” Fern rummaged under a cupboard and dragged out a dustpan, handing it to him.

“That I shouldn’t have been a coward. And…” he actually had to take a breath to be able to get the words out. Focusing on getting all the flour off the floor and into the dustpan seemed to help too. “I like you. A lot. More than I expected, really.”

Silence. He looked up and Fern was staring at him, frowning, and fuck, this wasn’t the reaction he'd been hoping for. Gareth left the floury dustpan on the floor and walked up to him and Fern looked… angry? That really wasn’t the ideal outcome.

“You almost died because of me!”

Oh, that. Sure, that was a thing that happened, but it was Gareth’s job, going into danger so other people were safe. He knew the risks.

“But I didn’t. And you would definitely have died if I wasn’t there.”

There. He had to understand that Gareth was there to protect him. Even if this wasn't just a job anymore.

“That would have been preferable, if it kept you safe.”

What the- how could he- was he fucking serious? Gareth gaped at him

“Preferable? How the fuck can you say that? Don’t you care about yourself at all?”

Fern ducked his head, avoiding his eyes, and Gareth realized he got it right. He really didn't care about himself. Hardly eating, hardly sleeping, throwing himself into his research… It made him think back to the moment when Fern wanted to kiss him for the first time, back on their walk. What did Gareth say to him before that? That he was

important

. And Fern’s breath caught like he’d never heard that word applied to himself. Shit.

And then Gareth refused him and almost died the very next day and Fern found out he had magic… And he'd left him alone to deal with all of that.

He drew him into a hug. Fern held onto him with trembling hands, burying his face into his chest, and Gareth decided he wouldn't be saying anything about the wet patch that was happening on the front of his t-shirt. Fern’s shoulders were shaking with sobs and Gareth rested his chin on the top of his head, rubbing little circles into his back.

“I’m sorry, Fern. I should have stayed,” he whispered.

“Thank you for coming back,” came the quiet response. He was finally calming down, relaxing against Gareth and they fit so right together it felt unreal. Gareth removed one hand from his back and started stroking the short hair at the back of his head and Fern pressed himself even tighter to him, making such a content little sigh that Gareth couldn't resist catching his chin and turning his face up to kiss him. There were tears on his eyelashes and Gareth placed a kiss at the corner of his eye as well and Fern

shivered

.

“I would like to sit down, I think,” he said, looking up at him with dazed eyes. The pretty green of them was almost all hidden by the black of his pupils and he was

blushing

.

“Sure, lead the way,” Gareth said. He might have needed to sit down as well after seeing that.

They ended up on the couch in the living room, Gareth sitting down with Fern on his lap and Fern’s kisses were so wild and messy and just fucking amazing. Gareth was holding him by the waist, stroking his thumbs against his abdomen and Fern's hands were on his biceps, fingers digging in just a little bit. He seemed to really like his arms. Not that Gareth minded, he liked being appreciated. But he probably needed to tell him that he was ace, because this seemed to be going a little fast and he didn't want Fern to get the wrong idea. Maybe he could enjoy himself a little more, though? He felt he deserved it after all they've been through and now he could finally touch that pretty ass. He slid his hands down to it, squeezing a little, and Fern froze. Okay, so maybe the ass was off limits anyway. Pity. He put his hands back on Fern’s waist. That seemed safe. But now Fern was leaning away and he had such a conflicted expression that Gareth was getting worried.

“Gareth, I- there's something I need to- Ugh, this is horribly embarrassing.” Fern drew a hand across his face. “I’m not interested in sex, alright? Not now and most likely not ever,” he said at last and he wouldn’t meet Gareth’s eyes and Gareth had no idea how he got so lucky.

How the fuck was he so perfect? The one thing he worried about with every new relationship and Fern just made everything alright by being himself. Gareth couldn't help it. He started laughing, because this was a fucking first. But Fern was looking down now, clearly embarrassed, and fuck, he shouldn't have laughed, he thought he was laughing at him.

“Fern, please, look at me,” he said, and Fern did, even though his eyes were full of hurt. Gareth hoped he could make this right. “I'm sorry I laughed, I just wasn't expecting that. I was actually wondering how to tell you the same thing about me.”

“What?” Fern was searching his face, eyes wide, as if he was looking for a sign that Gareth was joking. There seemed to be a spark of hope in his eyes and Gareth would see it burn bright.

“You heard me, I'm not interested in sex either. But I could keep on kissing you, if that's alright?”

“I would like that,” Fern said and the hurt look was finally gone and replaced by

want

and Gareth was so taken with him it wasn't even fair. At all. Gareth leaned in and kissed him again and Fern was grabbing at his shoulders, pulling him closer and this was so awesome he started laughing against Fern’s lips.

“Is there anything particularly amusing about me kissing you?” Fern asked, trying to sound annoyed, but Gareth saw right through him. He was having fun too.

“Just happy. And you get a very pretty smile when I laugh, so I might have an ulterior motive.”

“You are so very ridiculous,” Fern said, and the pretty smile was right there. And a blush to go with it. Gareth was so happy that he allowed himself to be brave for once.

“But you like me anyway,” he said, hoping that it wouldn't be too much.

“I do.”

Fuck yeah. He fixed it.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Gareth came back! And he stayed this time! And he didn’t mind Fern being asexual, he was even… happy about it. This was unbelievable... And Fern got to kiss him and hold him and finally just

be

with him-

There was a scrabbling noise from the front door, making him look up in annoyance. Hells, the raccoons again. Just that one time he felt sorry for a raccoon that looked injured and left some food for it and now the local raccoon population was intent on breaking into his house. He wouldn't be making that mistake again. Unless the animal looked very pitiful, possibly. But Gareth seemed startled.

“It’s fine, there’s a raccoon problem around here,” Fern said. He wouldn’t be recounting the whole saga right now, he wanted to kiss some more.

“Shut up,” Gareth whispered to him and he had such an intensely focused expression that it made Fern quiet down immediately. He was staring in the direction of the hallway and the scrabbling noise stopped. The lock on the front door clicked.

“Get down, now!”

What was happening? But Gareth was already sliding down from the couch, dragging Fern with him. He made him hide between the side of the couch and the wall and his face was too serious. Fern’s heart was hammering against his ribcage.

“Stay put.”

And he was gone, creeping into the dark hallway. Fern heard something slam into the door, an aborted shout, and the thud of something heavy against the floor. Two loud bangs. And silence. Where was Gareth? Did he get hurt? He was halfway up and out of his hiding place when Gareth came back in, frowning at him.

“I told you to stay put.”

“I- I was worried about you,” he managed to stammer out. He somehow got out of breath just standing up.

“You can worry once we're safe, we need to go now. Get your shoes, we'll go to my place. It's not far.”

The way he spoke made it clear that there would be no arguing about this. Fern put on his shoes and jacket, stepping carefully over the bodies in the hallway. There were dark puddles around them. He decided he would panic later.

“There will probably be more soon,” Gareth said. “They’d have taken you if you were alone.” He pulled the hood of Fern’s jacket up to cover his ears.

“But why? What do they want from me?”

“I don’t know, but they won’t stop until they get it. I know these guys.”

“You know them? How?”

“Long story. Tell you later,” he said, opening the door to allow them to go outside. Fern was glad to leave the smell of blood behind. Gareth’s speech was clipped and he was constantly scanning their surroundings for signs of… movement? attack? Fern hadn’t yet seen this side of him and the single-minded focus was mesmerizing. He was so sure of himself, walking gracefully like a predator poised to strike. On any other occasion it would be terribly attractive.

They went down the street, keeping away from lamplight as much as possible, and Gareth kept a protective arm around Fern’s shoulders. The horizon was getting lighter when they arrived at a tall apartment complex and Gareth led him inside, casting a final glance around before they entered to make sure there was no one following them. They rode the elevator to the sixth floor and Gareth opened the door of his apartment.

It was smaller than Fern expected.They entered right into the living room, which had a kitchen counter along the far wall, and the place was filled with as many decorative objects as Gareth could manage to fit in. There was a whole shelf dedicated to unicorn figurines. Fern liked the wooden one with a beautiful spiral horn the best, it reminded him of Pointy. And there was an exquisitely made glass unicorn as well, almost glimmering in the lamplight coming from the window. Another shelf held a number of little pots with succulents.

There was a comfortable looking couch in the middle of the room and a stack of books on the coffee table next to it. “One last kiss”, the title of the top one proclaimed. Somehow it didn't surprise Fern one bit that Gareth would be reading romance.

“Bathroom's that way and there's some leftovers in the fridge if you want,” Gareth said, tearing Fern out of his exploration. “And bedroom’s over there.”

“Thank you, but I really am not hungry right now,” he said. The smell of blood still haunted him, making his stomach churn. “We should visit my mother in the evening, I think. She might know more about this, since she had you sent to me in the first place.”

“Good idea. We’ll wait until it gets dark and then leave. You should get some sleep, I’ll keep watch,” Gareth said, inclining his head towards the bedroom door.

“You can’t stay up the whole time, you haven’t slept last night,” Fern argued. He was exhausted and Gareth certainly wasn’t feeling much better.

“I can, won’t be the first time. They might have followed us and I’m not taking any chances. But you need to rest, you haven’t slept either.”

Gareth crossed the room, taking a chair and setting it down next to the couch. He took a gun out of a holster somewhere on his belt and how did Fern not notice it until now? It was likely his preoccupation with Gareth’s chest that did it. Gareth put the gun down on the coffee table and sat down on the chair, keeping the weapon in easy reach.

“Do you mind if I stay here?” Fern asked. “I really don’t feel like being alone right now.” Fern felt like a child, asking for this, but he just couldn't bear the thought of being separated from him. Gareth’s face softened for the first time since they left Fern’s house.

“Yeah, sure. The couch is comfy, you can sleep there.”

Fern sat down on the couch and Gareth went into the bedroom, coming quickly back with a blanket. He spread it across Fern's legs and the small gesture made him feel warmer than the fabric ever could. He felt some of the magic coming back, but not enough to do anything greater than a rainbow of sparks against his fingertips. He played with the sparks for a moment, making them swirl around his palms. It was calming to watch them. Fern really needed something calming now, or he would start remembering the two dead men in his hallway.

“Did you notice that your magic has a smell?” Gareth asked. He was watching the sparks with interest and it almost made Fern want to show off.

“I haven't noticed, no.”

But Gareth apparently has. “Every time you use magic it smells like earth after rain. But you should probably save it up, you might need it.”

Fern disliked the implications of this very much, but Gareth had a point. He let the magic lie dormant, enjoying the soft purr of it in his chest.

“Petrichor,” he said to Gareth after he lay down, drawing the blanket over himself.

“What?”

“The smell of earth after rain is called petrichor. I like it.”

“Me too.”

They lapsed into silence and Fern was lying on his side, watching Gareth. He was tense, frowning in the direction of the door, and his profile was so beautiful in the soft light of dawn filtering through the windows.

“I can feel you staring at me,” Gareth said, and now there was the slightest hint of a grin at his lips. It was very handsome.

“Oh. Sorry, I just like looking at you.”

“Heh, thanks. I’ve noticed.”

Of course he did. Fern hoped the blush he felt creeping upon his cheeks wouldn't be visible in the dimness of the room. Gareth turned to him, handing him his phone.

“Hey, would you put your number into my phone, since you’re not asleep anyway? We need to be able to reach each other if we get separated.

“You’re right,” Fern said, and he disliked the implications of this as well.

He finally fell asleep counting the freckles on a creased forehead. It was early evening when he awoke and Gareth was still there, keeping watch. Keeping him safe.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” Gareth said softly. He looked tired, but had such a warm smile for him that Fern had to get up and kiss him. He liked that he could do that now. “We should eat something and then we'll get going.”

Gareth was right about the food. Again. And Fern’s stomach finally decided that there was space inside it for something else besides panic, so he went to open the fridge. There was a smattering of postcards from different places on it, most of them signed by someone called Sam.

Fern took out a plate with sandwiches. Did Gareth just have those ready at all times? He brought one to Gareth, who took it with a nod. They shared a glass of water, because Fern didn’t feel like climbing up to get a second glass from the cupboard that was too high for him. He could have asked Gareth for help, but he didn't want to bother him with something so small, not when he'd just spent the whole day watching over him.

It got dark outside and they were off, taking the subway through the city to his mother’s estate. Gareth pulled his hood up again, even though Fern was perfectly capable of doing that himself. They walked the short distance from the subway to the estate and Fern stopped at the gate. He really didn’t want to admit to his mother that they were together. Her son, dating a human. She would be furious, no matter that she had done the very same thing, and Fern just wasn’t ready to deal with this on top of everything that had happened.

“Could we pretend you’re just the bodyguard for now?”

“Why?” Gareth’s eyebrows were drawn together and he seemed almost hurt by the suggestion.

“My mother is… not a very nice person. And she hates humans.”

“What does that have to do with anything? We need to know what we’re up against, we’re not gonna debate race politics.”

There were dark circles under Gareth’s eyes, he looked so exhausted and now Fern was making him angry and this was not what he wanted, he only wanted to keep him safe from her. He wanted to make him understand, but the words kept coming out all wrong.

“It would be easier like this, if she finds out we're together she'll be insufferable.”

“Who cares what she thinks? People hate what you are and I still stood up for you! But I guess it's too much to ask of you to do the same.” His face was hard now, eyes narrowed, mouth drawn into a line. “I’m sorry you hate yourself, but hating that you see a part of you in me is too much”

“No! I don’t- That’s not- I-” That was not what he meant! He reached out to touch him, but Gareth took a step back.

“I'm sure you don't need a bodyguard to meet your mother, sir. I'll keep guard from here until you're finished.”

Gareth turned his back to him and that seemed to be that. Fern wiped at the tears that were just about threatening to fall and walked towards the house. They needed answers, even though he wanted nothing more but to stay. He turned back before he entered and Gareth was still at the gate, looking out into the dark street.

Fern went inside and the butler led him to her study. She was working late again.

“Good evening, mother,” he said, making her look up from the monitor. There were papers scattered across her desk and some had fallen on the floor as well. She took off her glasses, folding them neatly into their case.

“Good evening, Fern. To what do I owe this surprise visit?”

“I need to ask you about something,” he said, and she steepled her fingers in that annoying “I am listening” gesture she always did. It made him feel like he was ten again, explaining the broken greenhouse window.

“Last night two men broke into my house. My… bodyguard thinks they wanted to abduct me. Do you have any idea why?”

She sighed, motioning for him to sit in the chair in front of her desk. He sat down reluctantly.

“There is a group of individuals intent on capturing dragons and they seem to believe your expertise might aid them.”

“What?” He couldn't keep the horror from his voice. Was that why they were disappearing? But what would they need them for? “What are they doing with them?”

“Unfortunately what I have now are only guesses. I had hoped you would be protected long enough for me to expose the ones responsible and put a stop to this, but it seems that I took too much time.” She rubbed at her forehead. She looked tired. “And since you have mentioned your bodyguard, might I ask where he is? He is paid to watch over you and is clearly shirking his duties.”

“He is keeping guard outside.” He wouldn’t tell

her

of all people what happened between them. She didn’t deserve to see him cry about it like a teenager, but something must have shown on his face, because she raised an immaculate eyebrow at him in her “I know you are not telling me everything” expression. He stayed silent, so she took it upon herself to prod at him.

“I have been made aware that your relationship has progressed beyond the professional. I believe you do not need me to tell you that this is unacceptable.”

She knew. He hurt Gareth so badly and for what? She knew about them anyway! He was so angry with himself and there was nothing to let that anger out at but

her

. She made him hate what he was, ever since he was a child. Made him feel worthless, like the only thing that mattered was what he could do for others, but not him. Never him. He was out of his chair in an instant, wanting to tower over her for once.

“What is so unacceptable?” He was actually yelling at her. It felt good. “That he’s a human? You fucked one yourself! At least we won’t produce any more mongrels like you did!”

She took a breath in outrage. He knew his father was a sore spot and wasn’t above using the knowledge to make her furious, especially now.

“You will not be speaking to me in this way.” Her voice was so level, he hated it

so much

. But he could see the anger in her eyes. “I have given you a better life than you would have had elsewhere, given your heritage.”

Oh yes, a life of comfort, getting everything he could want. Besides love.

“Great job not throwing me in the trash as soon as I came out of you, you deserve a gold star!” His hands were shaking with rage and he turned to leave. He really wished Gareth was here. Why did he have to mess this up so badly? He had to go to him. “I will remove myself from your presence,” he snapped. “I would not want to offend your delicate sensibilities any further, mother.”

The butler entered, coming to whisper something to her. She looked up at Fern, suddenly calm. Like nothing happened.

“I will send one of my men with you,” she said and raised her hand when he took a breath to refuse. “I am told your paramour is no longer in the vicinity, but you will still need protection.”

What?

He wouldn’t just leave, would he? But apparently he did, because there was no one at the gate save one of mother’s very own guard dogs. There was no point in arguing and he let the man drive him home. The guard set up camp in the hallway, which was already devoid of bodies. Had more of the mercenaries come to remove the evidence? Fern stomped up the stairs and into the bedroom, before flinging himself onto the bed and promptly dropping off to sleep.

Morning came and Gareth was still gone and Fern wasn’t heartbroken about it at all. He showered and opened his closet to find clean clothes and Gareth’s old t-shirt was right there on top of the stack, mocking him. He put it on.

He didn’t want to go downstairs, didn’t want to see the places he’d kissed him, so he stayed in the bedroom, settling down to work. There was nothing else to do anyway, so he might as well figure out the missing thaumic flows. That was what he was good for. Research. He sat cross legged on the bed and turned on the laptop, pulling up the latest readings. This was wrong, all wrong, the magic should not be behaving like that. He really needed to scan the devices they left at the lair again. Would Gareth’s blood still be there, splattered over the rocks? His throat grew tight. Gareth would have died, had the magic not manifested. It was getting hard to breathe, his hands were red again. He could smell the blood on them, this was his fault, all of it was his fault and Gareth protected him yesterday and killed for him and he could still see the bodies in the hallway, his pulse was a horrible thunder in his ears and Gareth was gone and he wasn’t coming back. Fern buried his face in his hands, letting the tears fall. He didn’t want to be alone, but he was and had no one to thank for it but himself. His hands were numb, shaking and he tried to rub some feeling into them. Tried to rub away at the still clinging redness.

The dragon on his t-shirt caught his eye when he looked down. Its tail was still horribly wrong, it should not be bending like this. And it had the wrong number of claws on the back legs. It was so annoyingly incorrect that he could breathe a little easier again. He was running trembling fingers along a folded wing, when his phone rang and it was Gareth! Fern picked it up and he was so relieved to hear from him that he started apologizing right away.

“Gareth, I'm sorry about yesterday, can I-”

“You’d like to see him, wouldn’t you?”

A threatening voice. Low and self-satisfied. Fern felt fear grasp at his lungs, not letting him draw enough breath once again.

“What did you do to him?”

“Nothing. Yet.” The cold chuckle that accompanied the words grated at him. “Come to us and you can have him. If you do a little something for us first.”

“Where?”

This was stupid, he shouldn’t be agreeing to what they wanted, but he wouldn’t allow Gareth to suffer a second longer if he could help it. This was his fault and he would make it right. He tried to breathe through the rising panic. He had to do this.

“Get to the abandoned airfield outside the city. Our people will meet you there and we’ll talk business.”

“I will be there.”

The phone went silent. Fern could feel the choking fear giving way to nervous exhilaration. He could solve this. He would save him. The magic was coming back and he would blast them all to pieces for taking him. But first he needed to get rid of that damnable guard. He opened the bedroom window silently and messed up the bed so that it would seem like he’d struggled. Gods, this was so embarrassing. But there was no time to be worrying about his dignity when Gareth was in danger.

“Help!” he yelled, putting on his best scared voice. “Someone’s here!”

Ugh. He hid in the bathroom, hoping that the guard would understand that he had definitely been kidnapped through the window. There was a thundering of feet on the stairs and the man was in the bedroom, watching silently. Fern was praying that he would get on with it, when there was a crash from the backyard. Blessed raccoons, attacking the trash again. The man wasted no time climbing out the window after that.

Fern counted to ten and then he crept out of his hiding place, rushing silently down the stairs. He snatched up the guard’s car keys from a shelf as he ran, and hoped that he still remembered how to do this. It had been very long since he last sat behind the steering wheel, but this time it was important.

Seatbelt first, even though the guard was already running after him, but he would be no good to Gareth dead after he crashed the car somewhere and got thrown out through the windshield.
So, foot on brake, push the button to start the engine, shift it to drive and… stomp on the gas and take off, tires screaming against the road with the force of the acceleration, narrowly avoid a lamp post and go get him.
Why did he have to say such stupid things yesterday? They wouldn't have taken him if they'd stayed together. Or they would have gotten them both. But it was his fault that Gareth was kidnapped and alone and what if they hurt him! Fern felt tears stinging at his eyes and blinked them furiously away. No matter whose fault this was, he needed to see the road.

There was a car coming up behind him, trying to overtake him and how could anyone be in any more rush than he was? The car was getting closer, it was next to him now and suddenly it

slammed

into the side of his car and he let go of the steering wheel in shock and he shouldn't have done that. At least he was right about the seatbelt.

His car veered off the road and Fern slammed his foot on the brake, but the car still hit a tree with enough force to stun him. He was sitting there in shock, ears ringing from the impact. It hurt to breathe, his chest was bruised where the seatbelt stopped him from flying out of the car and the airbags were obscuring his vision. The car door was wrenched open and someone was cutting away the seatbelt, dragging him outside and this didn't feel very much like a rescue from an unfortunate car crash. He tried to wriggle out of the hold, but they were cuffing his hands behind his back and throwing him into the back of the car that ran him off the road. There were two elves in the back with him, one on each side. They were staring ahead, like Fern wasn’t even there, but he had a feeling that they would make him regret any attempts at fighting them, so he sat there, watching the road, trying to think of a way out of this. The driver shifted the car into gear and they set off, driving back in the direction they came from. The airfield was just a set up for an ambush. Of course. But the fog in his head that settled after the crash was finally clearing and he remembered.

He had magic. He felt it rumble inside his chest, ready to strike.

They didn’t know he could use it, he might even blast the handcuffs right off, and he almost tried it, before stopping himself. He probably wouldn’t overpower them all. Or he would and the car would crash and he would die too. And Gareth wasn’t here and they were likely taking him right where he needed to be. He had never felt such a clear purpose before.

Once he got there, he would make them

burn.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Of course. Of fucking course he couldn’t have a normal relationship. For once it was fine that he was ace and now the problem was that he was a human. He was so pissed at Fern. He of all people should have understood, but he had so many issues that they overflowed and flooded everyone around him.Gareth paced around in front of the gate, checking the perimeter for signs of anything that didn’t belong. There were guards posted at the estate, he saw them when they were approaching, so he didn’t have to worry about that, and it didn’t look like they were followed. Fuck, he was so tired. The lack of sleep was getting to him, even if he tried to shrug it off in front of Fern. He didn’t want to worry him, he worried enough as it was.Gods, the sad eyes he made when Gareth told him to go. He probably didn’t mean for all that crap he said to come out this way. They would have to talk about it, but he needed to cut him some slack now. He had to deal with Gareth almost dying and then leaving to talk to Sam instead of staying with him and then those mercs broke into his home and he was being so fucking brave about it all, even if he was just a scrawny nerd, and Gareth shouldn’t have let him go alone. He should probably go after him.It had been a long time since he had to stay awake like this and he wasn’t paying enough attention, he should have turned around when he heard the footsteps of someone who definitely wasn’t taking an evening walk, but it took him too long to realize that, caught up in thinking about Fern as he was. He started turning around and he felt something sting at the back of his neck. He slapped his hand against it and there was a small dart sticking out of the skin. Fuck. The world was turning upside down and the sidewalk came up to meet him. It went dark.Gareth woke up and everything was spinning. Where the fuck was he? He tried to get up off the floor, but the floor became wall became ceiling became floor again and it took everything he had not to puke. That was some strong shit they dosed him with. Staying down would be a good idea for now, but he would have to pull himself together soon. What if they raided the estate and took Fern too? Whoever “they” were. Though he had a pretty strong guess based on the bastards he'd had to shoot at Fern’s house. Fuck, he had such a horrified look on his face when he saw the bodies, he'd likely never seen a corpse before. Shit, he had to pick himself up and find his way out of this, he had to get to him.He managed to sit up with his back to the wall and was nursing a splitting headache. This was as far as he could get, because every time he tried to stand up he crumpled right back on the floor. So fucking annoying, he couldn't afford to be this weak now. His hand went down to his belt and his gun wasn't in the holster. He patted at his side. The knife he kept hidden was gone too.Alright, enough waiting, he really needed to get up, he had to figure out what was going on and get the fuck out. He finally dragged himself up to standing and went to bang on the door. He'd never been on this side of the door before.“What do you want from me, you fuckers?” he yelled.A speaker crackled to life.“You've already given us what we wanted, don't you worry about that.”The voice was… familiar? But he couldn't really place it, his head was still too fuzzy to think clearly. “Gareth, I'm here!”What? No, this was so fucked up, they had him! He had to get to him right the fuck now, before they hurt him-There was a booming noise and the audio cut off. And another, and another, getting closer and he jumped aside from the door right in time to see it blown inwards. He risked a glance through the hole and the corridor was charred, smelling of burnt plastic, but there was an undertone that didn't quite fit with the destruction. Earth after rain. Petrichor, Fern had called it, and the word was so weird that he remembered it. Fern’s magic.And Fern was there, rushing inside the cell, skidding to a stop in front of him. He looked so happy to see him and Gareth reached out to grab him and pull him from the doorway, because stopping in plain view like that was just fucking stupid, but it was too late. He heard people running through the corridor, someone yelling out orders and Fern flinched, touching a hand to the side of his neck and that fucking dart was there. Gareth caught him just as his knees buckled and he brought them both down to the floor, holding Fern in his arms. He ripped the dart out and threw it away, but there really was no point, the sedative was in his blood now and Gareth had no way of stopping it.“Hey, Red,” a woman said from the destroyed doorway, making him look up.It was her. The bitch. His former captain. And she had that fucking self-satisfied grin on her face, the one she got when she managed to corner her prey. Gareth didn’t like that it was directed at them at all. Rose had a gun in her hand and it was pointing down right now, but he knew how fast that would change if he made a wrong move. He stayed right where he was, he wouldn't let Fern get hurt just because he was playing at being the hero. A burst of sparks came from Fern’s hand, he probably meant to aim for her, but it singed Gareth’s arm instead. Gareth flinched with a hiss and Fern had such a horrified expression at hurting him, he looked like he wanted to apologize, but he couldn't get a single word out, and she was laughing at them. “Your pet is quite magical, isn’t he? You should do something about that, unless you want him broken.”She was handing him a pair of cuffs. No. Not those. They used these on magic wielders to keep the magic contained and he really didn't want to put them on Fern. He'd seen what they did to elves.“Here you go. And I hope the boys won't have to redo the cuffs after you. Wouldn’t want the mongrel to lose a hand when they lock them on too tight, would you?”He had no choice. He knew the sadistic bastards standing behind her and they would hurt Fern if they got their hands on him. It had to be him and he hated himself so much for doing this. She was watching him, clearly amused, like she knew exactly what he was thinking. She probably did, after knowing him for all those years. He took the cuffs from her.Fern was shrinking away from him, wide-eyed at his betrayal, there were more sparks dancing at his fingertips, but the sedative was working its way through him and he didn't stand a chance against it. It took longer for magic wielders to go under and he was fighting with everything he had, but he would lose and it would be hell for him when he woke up.“Shh, it's gonna be fine,” he whispered to him. It wasn't gonna be fine, but what was he supposed to say? Fern gave one last try to get away from him, whimpering with the effort and he had tears in his eyes and Gareth’s heart broke as he clicked the cuffs in place. Fern's hands came up to push him away, but he didn’t even manage to make contact before his eyes closed. Her goons made a move to take Fern away. No. He wouldn’t let them. He tried to get up, hoisting Fern up into his arms, but was stopped in his tracks by the click of a gun being readied to fire at him. Fuck. Shit. If it was just him he would have at least tried to take her down, she was close enough. But Fern would definitely get caught in the middle of the fight and he would get hurt and Gareth wouldn’t allow that to happen. He froze.“That’s right, Red, you always were smart. Hand him over.”She kept aiming at him and called one of the bastards over to take Fern. He had to force his arms to release him. They very much didn’t want to cooperate.“You’re lucky he wants you. If it were up to me you’d be dead, but he won’t work without you. Said that we could kill him right away if we were thinking of harming you. And, well, the higher-ups very much want him alive. For now.”Gareth felt the blood drain from his face. Of course he would say that, the idiot.  “But I wonder how much he’ll trust you after you did this to him,” she said, gesturing at the cuffs. “I know I wouldn’t.”“Fuck you, Rose,” he spat. “I'll kill you if anything happens to him.”“Too bad you won’t get a chance,” she said, giving his chest a poke. It took him a lot of effort not to punch her in the face, but he wouldn’t be doing himself any favors with that. “Lock them up, boys,” she said over her shoulder.The one carrying Fern walked away and she waved at the other two to take Gareth. They grabbed his arms and he wanted to beat them up so much, but there was no point fighting them now, he needed to figure out a way to get Fern out of here first. He was being led to a new cell and they passed an open door and Fern was there. They put him down on a cot and he looked so small, so vulnerable and Gareth was such a fucking idiot, he shouldn’t have left him alone, this wouldn't have happened if they'd stayed together. A guard closed the door of Fern’s cell and Gareth was pushed onwards and thrown into another cell down the corridor.He sat down, back against the wall, and wiped at his face to make some of the exhaustion go away. He had to think of a way to get them out, but his tired brain wouldn't supply anything but the image of Fern lying there motionless, wearing Gareth’s old t-shirt with that dumb fucking dragon he seemed to like so much. The fact that Fern decided to wear it wasn't breaking Gareth’s heart all over again, not at all. It was totally fine that Fern probably wanted him even after he'd pushed him away. That would very likely change after he found out what Gareth just did to him with those cuffs.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Fern was floating back to consciousness and he very much did not want to. His head hurt more than any migraine he'd ever had and he was afraid to open his eyes, because that would definitely make it worse.

It got worse anyway. He felt the nausea creeping up on him, making his stomach churn, and he was not going to be able to stop himself from vomiting. He threw up over the side of the cot. Ugh. Disgusting. Whatever they poisoned him with was vile. He dragged himself to the far corner of the cell to get away from the smell of sick and huddled there, trying to will his head to stop spinning so much.

There was a thought nagging at him, lost in the pounding of his head and the sickening spots floating across his vision. Gareth was there… but the memories of seeing him were all foggy and jumbled. He remembered being held in his arms and Gareth looked so scared and that woman was laughing at him and she was saying something about magic?

He raised a hand to run a finger along the dragon on his t-shirt, when his eyes caught on the cuffs on his wrists. They were metallic, about half an inch wide and locked flush with his skin. But they weren’t linked, so what were they for? There were runes on them, looking like the inverse of the ones that were used on buildings to repel wild magic storms. Ugh. His head hurt too much to do any more thinking. He reached for the magic to try and heal himself, but this time the place where the magic lived wasn’t merely empty.

It wasn't there at all.

No.

This couldn't be happening. It felt like missing a limb, like his heart was beating out of tune, he felt the panic rising, the horror at losing this new part of himself was unbearable, he couldn't breathe, his vision was going blurry-

It was the cuffs! They were blocking the magic, he wanted them gone, needed to get them off! He couldn't even get a finger between the cuff and his skin, but he kept trying, going until the skin of his left wrist was raw with his efforts. He noticed with some detachment that he was bleeding and let the blood drip to the floor. The pain in his wrist was preferable to feeling the void in his chest.

The small pool of his blood had almost all congealed when the cell door opened and the woman from before entered, the one who made Gareth put the cuffs on him. It seemed like he knew her, but why would he know someone so terrible? What was he not telling him?

“That was quite a show you gave us earlier,” she said, walking over to him. She stopped close enough that he had to tilt his head back to look her in the face. He didn't like that one bit. “But I guess that little escapade of yours won't be happening again anytime soon,” she continued, motioning towards the cuffs. “How do you like the gifts your boyfriend gave you?”

Fern gripped his knees so she wouldn't see the way his hands started shaking. He felt sick to his very core, but he had to believe this was not what Gareth wanted, he would not hurt him like this on purpose.

“Where is he?” he asked, and his voice sounded much more strangled than he wanted it to.

“If you want to find that out, you’ll start being helpful,” she said, scowling down at him. “I hear that you’re the leading expert on dragons and all that magic crap. We need you to figure out how to keep a dragon captive without it dropping dead. We haven't had much luck with that so far and the leadership is getting nervous.”

Fern felt himself pale and not even holding onto his legs could stop his hands from shaking now. This was why they were disappearing. They were taking them!

“You're killing them.” The words came out in a horrified whisper. How could anyone do that? “Why are you doing this?”

“Why? I don’t give a fuck about the why. I’m here to get paid.” She turned and walked back to the door. “Now get your ass up, the resident scientist will explain the details.”

He stood up, leaning against the wall. If he pretended to cooperate, he might find out where they kept Gareth. And then they would get out of here. Somehow. But his head was still spinning so much that he fell to his knees immediately after taking a step forward. She strode back to him with a disgusted expression and dragged him up by the arm, leading him out of the cell and into a laboratory.

They had a whole host of equipment the likes of which Fern had never seen. They even had a way of manipulating thaumic flows, albeit very inelegant. And they were trying to approximate the wild interferences and failing horribly and the dragons got malnourished and died. There had apparently been many failed experiments before Fern was brought here.

The scientist (if that even was a word that could be applied to such an amateur) explained their plans. They wanted the dragons to harmonize thaumic frequencies in a controlled environment and then use the harmonies as a source of magical power. That was laughable, no one could just store magic like that. Wait. The missing flows… They were actually doing it. And the dragons were dying because of them! He tried to hide the growing rage behind a facade of polite interest in what the “scientist” was telling him and could only hope he was successful. They would not get away with this.

He got all the information he needed from the man and the mercenary leader took him to a great window on the side of the laboratory. It overlooked the inside of a former hangar and there was a dragon curled up on the floor. She looked terrible, weak, and there was a wound on her flank.

“That one’s your job,” the woman said, inclining her head towards the dragon. It was the one that attacked Gareth! But it wasn't her fault, she was just protecting her home!

“It took a lot, catching it. We spooked it one day when it was coming to feed and I thought that was it, but then the dragon came back all fucked up like this and, well, it was easy to nab it after.” She sounded so pleased with herself. How could such cruelty make anyone happy? And it was Fern’s fault she was here, they wouldn’t have caught her if he hadn’t weakened her. He would get her out of here. There was a plan forming at the back of his mind, but he didn’t even dare think about it just yet for fear of messing up his chance. He turned to the woman, looking her in the eyes. He tried to appear confident, but it was not very easy with the way she was looming over him.

“I need to go to her lair, we've been taking readings there, but they're not done yet. I need to see what the thaumic signature is back there, if I am to do anything with her.“ He hoped she couldn't tell he was lying. It didn't matter one bit what the readings were for this, but he would need them anyway. “And Gareth is coming with me, he knows how to assist me and I do not trust you not to harm him while I am gone.”

She laughed at him. “Do you really think you can set the rules here?” She was crowding him, trying to intimidate him, and he

was

intimidated. But he had to save Gareth. And the dragon. He wouldn’t back down.

“I think that you need me. And I will not be doing what you want unless I know he is safe.” He kept staring her down and finally she relented.

“Fine, you can have him.” She waved her hand dismissively. “Just remember that you won’t get away with any more tricks. You’re starting your job today and you’d better do it well, if you want your boyfriend to stay in one piece.”

He nodded curtly, not wanting to speak with her longer than necessary. He was led back to the cell to wait before they left for the lair and his laptop was there on the cot, as were the notes he’d been working on before the phone call that led him here.

“The boys took the liberty of bringing your crap here,” she said. “I’m sure you don’t mind.”

He went to check the notes without sparing her another glance and heard the door lock behind him. He could go over the previous readings at least, getting lost in work helped combat the incessant fear that was pulling at the edges of his mind. The door of his cell opened again a few hours later. There were four guards in the corridor and they had Gareth between them. His hands were cuffed behind his back and he looked so angry, but at least he seemed unharmed. There were two cars waiting outside and they made Gareth enter the first one, while Fern rode in the next. The place where they held them was close to the mountain range and he could just about see the city in the distance.

The walk from the edge of the forest to the lair was suddenly much longer than the last time they had been here. Gareth was walking at the front with two guards flanking him and he towered over them, back straight and shoulders set in anger. But there was no way they could take them on with him restrained and Fern’s magic taken away. They had to be patient for now.

The stakes were still there, which was good. He took out the laptop and turned automatically to hand it to Gareth, so he could start entering the readings. But the space next to him was empty and Gareth was standing next to a guard, fidgeting as much as the handcuffs allowed. His shoulders must have been troubling him. Fern drew himself up and put on his haughtiest expression, the same his mother always had whenever she needed to intimidate someone. He stomped over to the guards.

“Gods, could you at the very least cuff his hands in the front? I need his assistance if I am to finish in a reasonable amount of time. I do not wish to wait for another dragon to come claim this lair.”

That seemed to have shaken their guards a little. It was a lie, of course, another dragon wouldn't settle here for at least a month, it took a long time for the thaumic signature of the last one to disappear. But they did not need to know that. One of them was aiming his rifle at Gareth while another redid the handcuffs.

“Thanks,” Gareth said quietly. He cast a glance at the cuffs on Fern’s wrists and he looked so guilty that Fern was certain that he did not want to do this to him.

“I’m sorry about those. I had no choice, Fern.”

“It’s fine,” Fern told him, but he could see that Gareth did not really believe his words. Fern did not believe them either, but there was no use dwelling on it. He would not blame Gareth for this, no matter how much pain the cuffs were causing him.

Fern was walking around, scanning the devices, and calling out the numbers to Gareth, who was sitting down with the laptop across his lap. It brought to mind their first day here, but it felt like a lifetime ago. He stretched the readouts as much as he could, but had to admit to being done after a while. It would be suspicious if they ended up working into the night after he insisted on doing it quickly.

They were led back to the cars, Gareth and his two guards at the front again. He kept trying to look back at Fern, but was pushed along by the guards every time and Fern wished he would stop, he did not want to see him hurt just because he couldn’t take not seeing him. He knew when they would need to come there next and they might just about make it away. Or die horribly.

They led him back to the cell and there was even food waiting for him. He managed to choke some of it down, he couldn't starve himself if they were to have a chance of escape. He would have to rest as well. He lay down on the cot and the feeling he'd been pushing away the whole day was back. The horrible emptiness was drawing him in, choking him with despair, he couldn't breathe again, this was the worst torture imaginable, there was no escape from the yawning void-

Or was there? He scratched at his wrist until it bled again and the pain gave him an opportunity to fall asleep at last.

He spent the next day learning the intricacies of the frequency generator. There weren't that many, the machine was surprisingly easy to operate. And yet they were unable to do anything useful with it. Even though it was a simple matter of introducing enough disharmony to the flow that the frequencies would start colliding. How did they not see that?

They did not allow him to see Gareth in person that day, just gave him a glimpse on a video feed, and he could only hope he would be alright. He scratched his wrist raw again in the evening. The wound hurt terribly, but it was still better than the alternative.

On the third day he had to act, because the dragon was weakening too quickly. If he didn’t get her out now, it would never happen. Fern wished he could see the magic like he did before, it would make all this so much easier. No. He couldn't think about that, his hands were beginning to shake again with the weight of the cuffs. He would do this, he would set her free, and then he would help Gareth get out.

He was led into the laboratory and was glad to see that the terminal that controlled the hangar door was unoccupied. He'd been watching them during his time here, memorizing the passcodes for opening the door. The seemingly random strings of letters followed a simple enough code which they apparently deemed nigh uncrackable, judging by the nonchalance with which they did it right in front of him.

“I have learned enough, we can begin,” he told that horrible woman, and she motioned for him to take his place at the frequency generator. He set to work. Increase an amplitude here, shorten the wavelength of the next thaumic flow, make the oscillations of another frequency faster and he could see from the thaumometer readings that they were on the brink of a magnificent collision. This would do nicely.

The interference he'd managed to create was so great that it almost reached the visible spectrum, flashing and glittering in the air in front of the dragon. But there was enough harmony in it that it wouldn’t take her long to get it, not long at all. This one was like a caffeine shot right into the brain and he hoped it would be enough.

She sniffed at it, flicking a forked tongue curiously. And then she lunged and there was an explosion of sparks and colour and the world tilted sideways and Fern rushed to the terminal while every single one of the idiots crowded the glass to see what was happening.

He punched in the code, hoping desperately that it would work. He added an extra part of his own that made sure the door wouldn't close anytime soon. It might even look like a malfunction of the controls, if they did not look too closely…

Come on, come on, you damn sky whale!

The dragon was just about finished with the interference when she noticed the opening door and she was clever, she understood that she had to take her chance and Fern was so excited that his plan worked that he forgot to move away from the terminal. He should have moved away, but the dragon was so beautiful as she bounded towards freedom-

A fist connected with his stomach, knocking him to the ground. A booted foot followed with a kick to his side and there was a very unpleasant crunch that told him a rib or two didn't quite hold out under the force. The hideous pain was also a clear indicator. But he did it. He did it! The dragon was free and they couldn't torture her anymore!

There was only one other thought in his mind as he braced himself for another kick, hiding his face behind his forearms.

He hoped Gareth was safe.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

They didn’t let him see Fern for two days. No one spoke to him, they just brought him food and water and that was it. He’d given up on banging on the door on the second day, because he almost broke a bone after punching it in a terror fueled rage. What the fuck were they doing with him?

A guard opened his cell on the morning of the third day and Gareth stood up from his cot, trying to see into the corridor. Where was Fern? But there was Rose instead and he at least had the satisfaction of seeing her look pissed.

“I'm taking you to see your mongrel. He was misbehaving, so we taught him a lesson,” she said and his blood ran cold. He knew what kind of “lessons” she and her band taught. Fuck, he'd kill them all if they hurt him. She didn’t seem to notice the look of pure hatred he was giving her and kept talking.

“He cost us a dragon and he’ll get us a new one. But he’s not being very cooperative right now. I’ll give you a chance to talk some sense into him, because I don’t want to break him any further. For now. We need that brain of his working.”

They did hurt him. They

hurt

him and Gareth was boiling with rage.

“I'm gonna fucking murder you,” he growled, closing the distance between them to loom over her. He would kill her right the fuck now with his bare hands if it didn't ruin his chance of finally getting to see Fern.

“Come on, Red, you know you won’t get a chance. But you can keep threatening me if it makes you feel better,” she said, giving him a smug little grin. The bitch.

He stayed silent, glaring down at her, because he knew how much she hated when she had to look up at him like that. And there was just the slightest bit of irritation flickering on her face. He hadn’t lost his touch even after ten years of not seeing her.

She took a step back. “The short-ear is going back to work today, so you'd better make him see reason,” she said, not waiting for a response, and started walking down the corridor. The expression of the guard behind her made it clear what he was supposed to do. He followed her to Fern’s cell.

The guard pushed him inside, and the door clicked shut behind him. Fern was lying on the cot and Gareth could hardly draw enough breath when he saw him. The left half of his face was one awful bruise, there was dried blood under his nose and Gareth was frozen in place for a terrible eternity, staring at the devastation.

He had no idea how he got there, but suddenly he was at Fern’s side, kneeling down next to the cot, raising a trembling hand to his throat to feel the pulse there. It was way too fast and his breathing was shallow. There were scrapes and bruises all along his arms, he'd likely been trying to defend himself, for all the good that did him.

The inside of Fern’s left wrist was raw, bloody, all scratched up around the cuff and that didn’t look like an injury from a fight. Fuck, he must have tried to get the cuffs off. They always made the elves go almost crazy and it seemed that they hurt Fern just as badly. He hated himself so much for doing this to him.

Fern stirred. His eyes cracked open and the green of his left iris was ringed with such a violent red that Gareth wanted to run out of the cell and beat every fucking merc he found to a fucking pulp. Fern took a long time focusing on him.

“I did it,” he whispered. His voice was too weak, too raspy. Gareth didn’t want to listen to the scratch of it, but he was so happy to hear him, so fucking elated to have proof that he was alive.

“What did you do, you idiot?” What could have been worth

this

?

“I freed her. I wish you could have seen it, she was so majestic.”

Did they give him brain damage? He was beaten very nearly to death and all he cared about was that fucking dragon. But that was Fern alright, caring about everything but himself again. The brain was probably fine. And he would be so pissed when he found out what he'd have to do.

“They want you to lure another dragon in,” Gareth said. There was no point in delaying telling him.

“

What

?” His eyes were narrowed in anger and he was trying to sit up, clutching at his side, but he fell right back onto his elbows with a sharp cry and Gareth caught his shoulders to help him lie down.

“I don't think they'll ask you nicely, Fern. They'll do anything to get what they want,” he said. He didn’t want Rose to get what she wanted, but he definitely didn’t want Fern to be taught any more lessons by her. They’d have to stall until he figured out how to get away. And if it meant getting a dragon in the meantime… a small price to pay for him being safe. But there were more pressing matters now, he had to do something about the state he was in.

“If you want him working for you you'll get me a fucking medkit!” he yelled towards the door. “And water. And something for him to eat.”

He turned back to Fern, who seemed to be deep in thought.

“What date is it?” Fern asked.

“The ninth. Why?”

“We're going back to the lair today.”

“You can’t even sit up by yourself!”

“I’m sure I will manage. Don't argue, please, I'm too tired for that. Just tell them I need to go there today if they want that dragon.” He closed his eyes and the discussion was apparently over. But it didn’t sit right. Why would he suddenly want to do that? Was he planning to do something dumb again? But he was so smart, he probably had a good reason to go there. Gareth would just have to trust him. Hopefully this wouldn't end with Fern getting himself killed.

The door opened and Gareth stomped over to take the supplies. Rose was still there and he couldn’t stop himself from yelling at her.

“What the fuck were you thinking, fucking him up like this? Is your band all fucking idiots? I thought you needed him to help you, not to be a fucking punching bag!”

She didn't argue, so she was probably in deep shit with whoever led this operation for letting this happen. He could use that to his advantage.

“He said he needs to see the lair again,” he said, determined to push on while she was still surprised by his yelling.

“Why? The dragon won't be coming back there, will it?”

Shit, Fern didn't tell him. He had to make something up.

“He needs to measure the thaumic flow to see where the next interference will crop up and he's got a lot of readings from that place, so it's gonna get him the most accurate prediction. Said the interference is where the dragon's gonna be. I'm not arguing with him, he knows his shit.” She didn't even catch him making shit up. Good thing he tried to listen when Fern got to rambling. “And I'm going with him,” he added. “Your boys have guns, I'm sure they'll manage the two of us. I need to help him with the job, he won't make it on his own after you did that to him.”

She was watching him, calculating, but seemed to decide that this wasn’t worth arguing about either. She must have been in

real

deep shit. “Just make sure he does what he’s supposed to this time,” she said.

He gave her a nod, because he wouldn’t be wasting any more breath on her, and went back to Fern to kneel next to the cot again. He stroked his cheek, the right one, which was one of the few places not blooming with bruises.

“I’m gonna get you patched up, alright?” he said, and Fern only nodded, too weak to talk now. Gareth took a breath so he wouldn’t go break someone’s legs and opened up the medkit.

There were even syringes and vials of painkillers. Those would definitely come in handy now. He raised up Fern’s sleeve, applied disinfectant to the skin of his shoulder and set up the syringe while it dried. He drew up the biggest dose he dared. Fern was such a lightweight that he wouldn’t need much. Hopefully.

“This might sting a little, alright?”

“Alright,” Fern whispered, and he didn’t flinch when the needle broke the skin, probably didn’t even feel it against the rest of the pain he was in. His eyes were still closed, there was a crease between his brows and Gareth’s hands were almost shaking with anger at the sight, but that would only make this harder, he had to be stronger than that.

And now to patch him up. He knew how this went, had done this for himself way too many times. He was real grateful that one of the mercs he used to work with was a former EMT. They taught him a lot.

Right. To work, then. Ready all the crap he needed first, put sterile gloves on after. Take a gauze pad, wet it with saline, wipe around the wound on the wrist first, because that one was the deepest. New gauze pad, because the first one was absolutely covered in blood, don't pay too much attention to the way Fern flinched in pain when he passed too close to the raw tissue. Pour the saline over the wound next, because he wouldn’t go poking around in there, there was no dirt and it would just needlessly hurt. But Fern still hissed and tried to move away.

Finally the wrist was cleaned up. Gareth picked up the antiseptic ointment, spread it around on a bigger gauze pad and applied it to the wound. He wrapped the wrist in a layer of bandages and Fern was breathing a bit easier now, probably the meds taking effect. Gareth wet a new gauze pad and cleaned up his face. The nose seemed unbroken at least, the bone was firm under his fingers. No blood coming out of the ears, good. But the bruising on the left cheek was awful to look at and it must have hurt like hell.

He used disinfectant on the scrapes on his arms, but they weren’t too deep, so he left them unbandaged. He finally lifted up Fern’s t-shirt and there was a huge bruise on the right side of his chest. Must have taken a hell of a hit to make it look like that. He gently ran his hand along the ribs and two of the lower ones were cracked, but the bone fragments didn’t feel too displaced. Well, he couldn’t do anything about that, except give him more painkillers later. He took the gloves off and threw them on the pile of bloody gauze on the floor. Someone else could deal with that crap. Fern opened his eyes after a while. He looked more alive now, not so awfully pale.

“Hey, you need to eat something,” Gareth said, and Fern didn’t argue with him, so he was probably feeling really horrible. He helped Fern sit up and sat on the cot behind him, letting him lean back against his chest. He handed him the water bottle they’d been given and made him eat a little. Fern rested his head against his chest when he was done and seemed to fall asleep right there and that trust made Gareth’s heart clench. How could he feel so safe with him after all he’d been through because of him? He wouldn’t be here if they didn’t get Gareth first. Or maybe he would, but he’d be alone. Fuck, they had to get out before he got himself killed.

He didn’t realize how much he missed touching him. They had one evening together before it all went to shit, but this felt so right, like he was meant to exist exactly there, against Gareth’s heart. He leaned back against the wall and let him get some rest, he needed that. And Gareth would be lying if he said he wasn't fucking tired too, the stress was getting to him. But he couldn't sleep now, he had to watch over him. And he wouldn’t squander an opportunity to finally be with Fern by being unconscious.

He still had that dumb dragon t-shirt, but there were bloodstains on it now, barely visible on the black. Fuck. But the crease between his brows had finally smoothed over, so he probably felt a tiny bit better. His eyelashes were fluttering as he slept. How in all the hells was he capable of being so cute even when he was so beat up? Those pointy ears of his were a bit pinker now and he couldn’t resist running a finger along the tip of one. And then there was nothing else to do but watch the steady rise and fall of Fern’s chest. He placed a hand over his heart to feel its beat, because he really needed that reassurance of him being alive, and lost himself in it for a while.

They left them alone for longer than he expected, must have been at least six hours. Time for another dose of painkillers. He didn’t want to wake Fern up, but the pain would do it for him soon anyway.

“Hey, Fern, wake up,” he whispered, stroking his hair. He seemed to like having it touched.

“Mmph. What?” Fern’s ears twitched as he woke up. How did he not notice that before? His voice was a bit stronger now, even though it was still rough with sleep. Gareth handed him the water bottle.

“I’m gonna give you another shot. Are you okay with that?” he asked, waiting for him to take a drink before he answered.

“Do I have a choice?” Fern rubbed a hand over his face and flinched when he accidentally touched the bruise. Gareth’s hands tightened against him just a little. He would murder them all for this once he got the chance. He forced his voice to sound calm.

“Absolutely,” he said, easing his grip again. He ran his thumb over the soft skin of Fern’s right wrist, making Fern give a little sigh and it almost hurt how that simple touch seemed to make him feel better. “So, want those painkillers?”

“Yes, please,” Fern said, and the speed with which those words came out hurt even more. He must have been suffering so fucking much. He settled him to lie back down and got a new syringe ready. Fern raised up his sleeve and waited patiently for Gareth to stick him with the needle again. No flinching this time either.

“Thank you,” he whispered. His eyes were closing again, he looked so exhausted and Gareth was sure he didn't rest properly when they were separated.

“It’s fine,” he whispered back. He couldn’t resist pressing a kiss to his forehead.

They had another hour of rest before they were led out of the cell by four mercs with rifles. Wasn't that a bit of an overkill? They cuffed him again, but at least they left his hands at the front so he could hold up Fern whenever he stumbled. Which was way too often. Fern was limping along as best he could, but he still nearly fell more than once, and Gareth had to keep dragging him up by the arm.

They arrived at the lair and there was that boulder from which Gareth had to rescue him on the first day. The memory of Fern standing up there, laughing and unhurt, was almost painful now. But there was no time to be moping about that, he had to figure out why Fern was so eager to come here today. Fern looked like he was waiting for something, he kept glancing around as he limped around with thaumometer, but what was he expecting to happen? Gareth kept close, ready to help him with whatever he might need, when he heard it.

There was a rhythmic sound, right at the edge of hearing. The idiots didn't notice, too caught up in looking menacing, but Fern definitely heard it too, Gareth saw his ear twitch. The sound was coming from the direction of the mountain, getting louder with every passing second and finally Gareth found out what it was.

The dragon was back. The deep blue of her scales was still very pretty, but he didn’t like the way her claws were ready to strike one bit. Fern wouldn’t heal any holes in him this time. Wait. Was his brilliant plan a dragon? A fucking dragon?

And the dragon wasn’t circling like before, she dove right down, straight for the mercs and they started shooting at her. Gareth grabbed at Fern, pulling him down behind a boulder. He wouldn’t let him get caught in that shit, but Fern struggled against him. Good thing he was so weak he had no leverage.

“We have to stop them, they're hurting her!” he cried out and he looked so desperate, but they would be walking into certain death if they left their cover now. Fern would always be a greater priority than a fucking sky whale.

The dragon let out a blast of crackling energy, knocking two of the mercs back with enough force that they definitely broke their necks with the way they were slammed against the trees behind them. She bounded over to the third, swinging her claws at him, and he didn't stand a chance, Gareth remembered the pain of it all too well. That left the fourth one. She didn’t see him and he was trying to sneak up on her from behind and Fern was watching Gareth with pleading eyes. Fuck. He’d have to save the dragon, wouldn't he.

“You will stay put,” he hissed at Fern and crept out of their hiding place.

The merc didn't spot him, too absorbed in trying to get a good angle to shoot at her vulnerable underbelly. Gareth sneaked closer, closer until he was nearly on him and then he jumped, knocking him to the ground. The rifle went off, firing up into the trees somewhere. Gareth wrenched it from his grip and threw it as far away as he could, but those precious seconds he spent getting rid of the rifle meant that the merc's hands were free to draw a knife. They were rolling on the ground and the merc managed to get on top of him, knife poised to strike. This was fucking bad, he had to get him off, he needed to get to Fern before he did something dumb. He caught the merc’s hand but there was no way to hold him off for long, not with his hands cuffed.

The dragon noticed them. It took a sniff, making the merc turn in surprise and Gareth used the opportunity to get in a punch. It wasn’t as strong as he would have liked, but the bastard fell on the ground next to him and the dragon was gearing up to get them both and fuck, this was so much worse. She was flicking her tongue at them, probably deciding who to murder first.

There was a yell from the direction where Gareth threw the rifle, and Fern was standing there with the weapon in his hands. What was the idiot doing, he had no idea what to do with that! But the dragon was startled, taking another sniff, and she probably remembered the last time they met, because she reared back in fear and took off.

And the merc was too shocked to move, staring after her as she flew away. Gareth rolled over, took the knife from him and stabbed it in his throat. He bubbled a little and went limp. Shit, that was way closer than he would have liked. Leave it up to Fern to make a getaway plan that involved nearly getting murdered by a fucking dragon.

He searched the body and found car keys and a key to his handcuffs as well. He wasted no time unlocking them, letting them clatter to the ground. He looked up and Fern was frozen in place, staring at him with wide eyes, he had his finger on the trigger and he was going to shoot himself in the foot if that finger so much as twitched.

He stood up slowly, because Fern looked so horrified at Gareth just killing someone right in front of him, and he had every right to be horrified, but he was too easily spooked and one wrong move could make him hurt himself. He walked over to him, reaching out a hand.

“Give me that before you kill yourself, please,” he said calmly, trying not to show how fucking stressed out he was.

Fern’s brain seemed to be coming back online and he finally released the death grip he had on the weapon. He handed it to Gareth and his legs gave out. Gareth caught him one-handed, before setting the rifle on the ground and sitting down with Fern in his lap. He needed a minute to catch his breath too, his heart seemed to want to leave his chest with the way it was hammering against his ribs.

But they were free. Hopefully. So he shouldn't complain about Fern’s fucking crazy plan too much. But he had the right to yell at him about something at least. Quietly, so he wouldn’t spook him.

“I told you to stay put, you idiot, you could have gotten yourself killed,” he said, trying to make his voice as level as possible. It was hard. “Can’t you listen for once?”

Fern looked at him like he was completely crazy. “You were in danger,” he said, like that was reason enough to risk his life. “I couldn’t just watch.”

And Gareth realized he had nothing to say to that. He would have done the same if their roles were reversed, but unlike Fern he wasn’t a tiny nerd who never held a gun in his life. He hugged the idiot as close as he dared, kissing the top of his head.

“Please, don’t die for me,” he whispered.

“I will make no promises. I care about you too much to not try to protect you.”

Protect him… Gareth was the one who was supposed to do the protecting. But here he was without a single scratch and Fern was looking like

that.

He hadn’t done a very good job of it.

“I’m sorry you got hurt,” he said, stroking Fern’s back. “I should have been more careful, they wouldn’t have gotten you if I didn't get kidnapped.” The way Fern relaxed into his touch was making warmth spread through his chest.

“It’s not your fault, I shouldn't have said those things before we went to my mother. I just… it was too much and I was scared… I did not mean to hurt you, I wanted to keep you safe. I apologize.”

“It's alright,” Gareth sighed. Of course he’d try to keep him safe in the dumbest way possible. “I shouldn't have let you go alone. I was about to go after you when they got me.”

“You were?” Fern actually perked up at that.

“Sure I was. Did you seriously think I'd leave after one argument?” Fern didn’t answer, wouldn't meet his eyes, and of course he did think that.

“Hey, you won't get rid of me that easily,” he said, tilting Fern’s face up with a hand under his chin. “I like you too much to give up so fast, alright?”

“Alright.” He was even smiling a little. Good. And Gareth’s heart had finally calmed down. They’d have to get away while they had the chance.

“Come on, we’ve got to go before they find out what happened.”

“You're right,” Fern said and he kissed him on the cheek before he tried to get up. The kiss was very nice. And the getting up didn’t work out at all. He had to help Fern stand up, but the adrenaline rush was leaving him and he swayed as he stood in front of him. They wouldn’t get anywhere like this.

“I’m gonna pick you up, okay? We won’t get out of here otherwise.”

“Okay.” Fern was blinking blearily up at him. He looked like he was about to pass out. Shit, he must have been in a lot of pain if he didn’t even protest. Gareth picked him up gingerly, holding him like he was made of glass. It seemed that every single breath was hurting him now. He carried him to the car as fast as he could, trying not to jostle him too much. Fern seemed to have fallen asleep along the way, but woke up when Gareth unlocked the car. He settled him in the passenger seat, doing up his seatbelt, and went to slash the tires of the second car. The mercs didn't need to have an easy time getting it back. Now, was the tracker still in the same place they used to put it? He opened up the trunk of their car and there it was, blinking at him with its little red light. He ripped the thing out and threw it on the ground. Good luck finding out where they'd gone, Rose.

“Thank you,” Fern said, when Gareth got behind the wheel.

“It's fine.” It had to be fine after what Fern had been through. He didn’t want him to suffer any more than he already had.

“Could you get these off now?” Fern asked, holding out his hands. Oh fuck. Fern's expression was so trusting, so hopeful, like he thought that Gareth could fix everything. He couldn't. Had no idea how to do it. It wasn’t fine after all.

“Fern, I'm sorry, I can't.” Fern’s hands started shaking, so Gareth gathered them in one of his own, running his thumb over his knuckles. The shaking got a little better, but he still hated himself so fucking much for being the cause of it. He had to make this right.

“But my sister knows about this kind of shit, she'll help us,” he said, giving Fern’s hands a squeeze. He really hoped she could do that. Fern just nodded and put his hands in his lap.

Gareth felt so bad about that, but it really was time to get going, they wouldn’t solve anything here. He opened the glove box to see if the bastards left anything useful in there. A protein bar, an electric blue can with some kind of energy drink and some loose change. He handed the can and protein bar to Fern, then he started the car and drove in the direction of the city. They had to find a place to ditch it and get to Sam.

Fern was studying the label on the energy drink, which had a very worrying picture of a heart jumping out of a ribcage. He opened it and the car started smelling of very concentrated chemicals. Hopefully it would taste better than it smelled.

“It tastes like lightning,” Fern said after taking a sip.

“How the fuck does lightning taste?”

Fern handed him the can. “Like this.”

Gareth tried it and it fucking did taste like lightning. What in the hells… he gave it back to Fern, who seemed to actually like it, because the can was soon empty. And he even ate the protein bar, though he insisted on sharing it with Gareth.

And now Fern was looking out the window, lost in thought. Maybe he’d take a nap before they’d have to leave the car, he could definitely do with one. Though he probably wouldn't be able to fall asleep after drinking a whole can of that lightning tasting crap.

“Why did that woman know you?” he asked, tearing him out of musing about energy drinks. Ah shit, he should have expected this conversation to happen sooner or later.

“I used to work for her,” he said. Maybe Fern would just take this answer and not poke further. But of course he wouldn’t.

“You were a mercenary?” Fern was narrowing his eyes at him. But at least he wasn’t freaking out about the cuffs. He could freak out about Gareth being a killer instead. Great. It would probably be best to get all the skeletons out of the closet right away. He took a deep breath and got to explaining.

“I started a long time ago. I was seventeen and we didn’t have much money, so I dropped out of school to get a job, but it was tough finding something that paid enough and we were barely scraping by…” He rubbed at his forehead. Those memories weren’t very nice. “Mom worried so much and I wanted to help her and Rose found me after I got in a fight and offered me a job. Something that paid well, for once. The first jobs were just guarding places, nothing difficult, and we finally didn’t have to worry about food. And I was in too deep when I found out what being a merc really was about.” He wouldn’t be telling Fern what

exactly

it was about if he could help it. It wasn’t something he liked remembering. “I didn’t know how to be anything else by then. So I did some not so nice shit and I don't think that you want to hear about the details. And then Sam wanted to join and she was a kid just like I was when I came to them and I couldn’t let what happened to me happen to her too, so I got out and took her with me. And the fighting experience I had helped me land this job.”

Gods, that was a lot. Fern took his time digesting the information.

“You killed people,” he said. Yeah, that was a reasonable thing to worry about. Possibly even a deal breaker. Shit. But there was no point in lying.

“Not proud of it, but yeah, I did.” He snuck a glance at Fern, who was watching the scenery pass them.

“You killed for me,” he finally said, and he didn't sound as horrified as Gareth expected him to. And he wouldn’t apologize for killing those bastards, they had it coming.

“I’d do it again.”

“I’m sorry you had to do it.” And that was definitely not the reaction he'd been expecting. Was Fern actually apologizing for Gareth being a killer? Shouldn't that be the other way around?

“Hey, you’re worth saving. Even if it means my hands get bloody. They’re used to it.”

“I wish they didn't have to be.” Fern looked so pained for him. Couldn’t he care about himself for a change?

“Don't worry about it, okay? I made my choices and you’re not responsible for them.”

“Okay,” came a quiet response. Fern didn’t seem to know what to do with his hands and started picking at the bandage at his wrist. Like hell he’d let him do that. Gareth reached out and covered the bandage with his hand, taking care to hide the cuff from sight as well. Fern relaxed a little and went to trace a finger of his free hand against Gareth’s knuckles. He managed to stay quiet for a whole five minutes, which Gareth used to worry about Rose finding them after all.

“What is your favorite color?”

“What?” Did he miss something? Were they suddenly having a nice afternoon drive instead of barely escaping mercs and a fucking dragon?

“I asked you about your favorite color.”

He probably shouldn't have let him down the energy drink so quickly. But he could do with a distraction from the fear that lay heavy in his stomach.

“Green,” he said, before he could stop himself. Since when was it green? Probably since he got lost in those eyes for the first time. “What’s yours?”

“Blue. Like the sky on a frosty day.”

“That’s a nice one. I like the color of moss after rain. Those little pillow looking bits of moss, I mean.” He wouldn’t go telling him that his eyes were the exact same shade, that was too soppy even for Gareth. Better to steer the conversation somewhere else. And it was probably his turn to ask a silly question.

“So, which one's better, a dragon or a unicorn?” he asked, and Fern actually gasped. He even put a hand over his heart in outrage and Gareth had to chuckle softly to himself. This would be good.

“That is an impossible choice to make! Both are creatures that interact with magic, but while dragons are thaumivores, unicorns use magic in a completely different way. An adult unicorn is able to store the excess magic of a thaumic storm with its horn acting as a conduit of sorts. A dragon, on the other hand, feeds off the residual energy left by harmonizing thaumic flows, but doesn't exactly store the magic, she creates her own…”

Fern kept on ranting, waving his hands around and Gareth didn’t even think about fighting the grin that tugged at his lips.

He'd missed this.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The journey through the city was not something Fern wanted to repeat ever again. They’d left the car on the outskirts, Gareth explaining something about the possibility of the mercenaries finding the car and that he did not want to endanger his sister by letting them know where she lived, which was entirely reasonable, but the medication had worn off completely and it was quite hard to stay upright. Gareth supported him as they walked, because Fern refused to be carried through the streets. That would draw too much attention, though his limping walk was not exactly inconspicuous either. They got on the subway, buying tickets with the change they found in the car. The movement of the train was making absolutely horrible bursts of pain travel through his ribcage and it was hard to breathe.“You okay?” Gareth asked. Fern was not too happy to be worrying him.“I-” he had to steel himself to gasp out the words. “I'm fine.” He wanted to say more, but the train arrived at a station and the jolt of it took his breath away. Again.“Like hell you are. You don't need to pretend with me.” He looked so concerned. And a little annoyed, but at least he didn’t seem to expect another response. “Come here.”He made Fern lean back against him and the support helped him bear the rest of the ride. They finally arrived at the apartment where Gareth’s sister lived and Gareth knocked on the door. It opened a moment later and there was a young elven woman standing in the doorway. Gareth did not mention that his sister was an elf. And she did not seem to care about Fern being only half of one, even though her eyes flicked momentarily to his ears. And then to the bruise on his face. And to the cuffs on his wrists. He must have made for quite a sight as he stood there, leaning heavily on Gareth for support.“Hey, Sam. Can we come in?” Gareth said. She turned to him, mouth agape for a moment, before she composed herself.“Gareth, what the fuck happened?” Well, ‘composed’ was perhaps a strong word. But she remembered to close her mouth this time.“We got in a bit of trouble. This is Fern, I told you about him.” Fern gave her a nod. Talking felt unnecessarily difficult right now.“A bit? I couldn’t reach you for three days, where have you been? I was so scared, you big dumbass! And mom was worried sick!” She was raising her voice and Gareth actually looked down for a moment.“Sorry, maybe a lot of trouble? I’ll tell you later, but we need your help now. Fern’s got magic suppression cuffs on him. I’ve seen those in action, but I have no clue how to get them off. You deal in runes and shit, got any idea what to do about them?”She nodded, motioning for them to come inside. “I'll see what I can do. Get in here.”Gareth led him to a chair at the kitchen table and Sam took his right hand, turning it this way and that, examining the cuffs. Her eyes were narrowed behind her glasses and Fern was not feeling very confident that the cuffs would be coming off.“There’s no visible locking mechanism,” she said, bringing his hand closer to her eyes to study the cuff. “And this alloy is nearly unbreakable with conventional tools, we’d damage your hands. Fuck. And those runes are prone to instability if we mess with them, this is a very volatile inscription. I’m sorry, I can’t do anything about them now.”And of course he was right. He felt cold dread settle in his stomach. She released his hand and patted it in a gesture that she likely meant to be comforting, but it was not helping at all. “But I think I know who might be able to help,” she said, pushing her glasses up her nose. “I had to consult this researcher about some magic repelling runes recently, because I was trying to improve them and it only worked on certain types of magic and others went right through, so I was like huh, that’s fucking weird, and my mates at the university gave me her contact. She’s apparently made a lot of discoveries in the rune scribing field and-”“Sam? Back on track, please?” Gareth said, tapping her on the shoulder. But there was no irritation on his face, he seemed to be used to this.“Oh, right, sorry. Her name’s Aurelia Terrell and she actually lives here in the city, so we shouldn’t have much trouble finding her.”Fern opened his mouth, but Gareth was faster. He looked as surprised as Fern felt.“Wait, isn't that your mom, Fern?”“She is.” Why didn't he think of that? Possibly because he did not like thinking about her at all, and also because he was too preoccupied with the effort of staying vertical to think clearly, but he should have realized. They should have gone straight to her. “Your what?” Sam asked, looking quite surprised as well.“My mother. We should go see her,” Fern said, trying to get up from the chair and failing miserably. His whole chest was on fire. Gareth was at his side in an instant, placing a hand on his shoulder to keep him down.“You need to rest,” he said, squeezing the shoulder gently. “And eat something. I'm sorry, but you're in no state to be travelling anywhere else tonight. And Rose and her bastards know where your mom lives, so they'll probably be watching for you to come there. We need to plan a little before we make a move.” Fern hated that Gareth was right. And Sam was nodding along, so he clearly would not win this battle.“Alright,” he sighed. “But we will go tomorrow, yes?” He hoped his desperation was not too visible.“Of course,” Gareth nodded. “You both need to get cleaned up first, you're smelly,” Sam said. Now that she mentioned it, Fern realized that they absolutely were. But Gareth decided to take offense.“Hey, it's not like you'd smell any better after not showering for gods know how long,” he grumbled.“Changes nothing about the fact that you need to wash up,” she shot back. “I'll get you two clean clothes, I think there are some of Gareth’s somewhere.” Did Gareth seriously just stash his things everywhere? Why was he even surprised. They went into the bathroom together, because he was so weak that Gareth still had to support him when he walked. The broken ribs were killing him, his left wrist was burning under the bandage and he really, really wanted to get clean.“I'll run you a bath, alright?” Gareth said. “The bandage has to stay on, so you'd have trouble in the shower. And don't let water get under the cuffs, it will take a long time to dry and you'll get itchy. I'll help you wash up.”Oh. That was perfectly logical, but Fern had to admit that he had not actually thought this far ahead. This had the potential to become very embarrassing.“Alright,” he said, trying not to show his apprehension. Gareth turned his back to him, getting the water running and Fern attempted to undress. His hands were clumsy with exhaustion and the broken ribs were sending stabs of pain through him with every movement. He got out of breath just removing his pants and underwear and taking the t-shirt off was out of question, he just couldn't raise his arms well enough. “Bath's ready,” Gareth said and Fern was extremely embarrassed to realize that he would have to ask for help. This was all annoyingly difficult.“Gareth, I- could you-” He was fidgeting with the hem of the t-shirt, grateful for the fact that it went down to his mid-thigh, preserving some of his dignity at least for now. It was hard getting the words out and Gareth was watching him patiently, even though he must have wanted to finally get into the shower instead of waiting for him to stammer his way through a sentence.“Could you please help me with the t-shirt? I can't seem to be able to get it off.”“Sure, no problem,” Gareth said. He seemed happy about getting to help him.Gareth let Fern hold onto him as he stepped into a bathtub. He couldn’t stop a pained hiss from escaping and Gareth’s hands tightened momentarily against him. There was a flash of anger flickering across his face, but it was gone as soon as it arrived and Gareth kissed his forehead when he was finally seated.“Rest for a bit. I'll take a shower and help you after, if that’s alright with you.”“I- yes, thank you.”“It’s fine.” Gareth undressed as well, turning his back to him and throwing their clothes into the washing machine, and Fern found himself studying his naked form. There was a knotted scar below his right shoulder blade and the muscles of his back were moving in very attractive ways. Fern realized he was staring. But they were in a relationship of sorts now, weren’t they? He was probably allowed to stare at his partner. He had another scar just above his left hip, a jagged line which continued to the front of his torso. Gareth was now reaching up into a closet to get towels and Fern followed the movement of his arms with great interest. And then he turned so his chest came into view and Fern would likely never tire of that sight. He raised his eyes to Gareth’s face, stopping to admire his very handsome grin. And he had a beard now, which shouldn’t surprise Fern, he hadn’t been able to shave for quite some time. It looked good on him. And the grin grew even wider- Oh. He’d been caught.“Like what you see?” Gareth was watching him with an amused expression and Fern could feel his face turning red. But there was no point in denial, he was too obvious to even attempt that.“I do,” he said. “You are very beautiful.” Gareth looked quite surprised, but it was true, he was beautiful, with his soft amber eyes and that handsome grin that was now turning into a bashful smile. He was blushing. Fern was a little proud of himself for causing that to happen.“Thanks,” Gareth said, clearing his throat. “You’re real pretty yourself.” And he came back to kiss him again. His staring paid off rather well.Gareth got in the shower and Fern leaned back in the bathtub, resting his hands against the sides. The warm water was easing his pain a little bit and he finally dared to look at his body. There were more bruises than he expected and the one on the right side of his chest was particularly colorful. His arms weren’t much better, the bruising on his left bicep from when one of the mercenaries stomped on it still ached with every movement. Best not to dwell on it too much, he did not want to be reliving that moment right now. He should think about something else.He was looking around the bathroom distractedly while he waited for Gareth. It was cluttered, just like Gareth’s apartment, and Sam had an incredible number of bath products. And three different shampoos. Why? Gareth was humming to himself in the shower and the sound of his deep voice resonating through the bathroom was so wonderfully calming that it almost felt like nothing was wrong. If he didn’t look at his wrists. He gripped the sides of the tub so his hands wouldn’t start shaking again.Gareth got out of the shower and dried himself off, dropping the towel on the floor. The towel rack was right there. He knelt down next to the bathtub. “So, you alright with me washing you?” he asked, running a finger over the skin of Fern’s shoulder. Fern had to suppress a shiver. Being touched just for the sake of it was something he was still getting used to and he could hardly get enough. But Gareth asked him a question, he should respond instead of dwelling on the finger that was drawing little circles into his skin. It was very distracting.“I don’t seem to have much choice in the matter if I wish to get clean, do I?” he said. Relationship or not, this was still the first time Gareth saw him naked and it was very much not how Fern thought it would happen.“That's true, but I still won’t be doing anything you don’t want me to.”Why was he so considerate all the damn time? What had Fern done to deserve that? He looked down, trying to hide the guilt he felt. Gareth could have died so many times in the short while they had known each other, all because of him, yet here he was, not wanting to impose on Fern by washing him.“Hey, where did you go just now?” Gareth’s finger was under his chin, making him tilt his head up again. But he really didn’t want to talk about that right now.“Nowhere nice, I think. I’d rather get clean than go back there, if you don’t mind.”“Sure.” He didn’t pry. Fern really didn't deserve him.He was so gentle with him, running the washcloth carefully over the myriad bruises on his body. The one on his face was subjected to a very intent examination, before being very softly wiped down. He even insisted on washing Fern’s hands, which he could just as well wash himself in the sink later, but instead Gareth took every single finger, inspecting it for damage and washing all the dirt away. The intimacy of it made him feel strangely vulnerable. Gareth finished with his hands and Fern settled them back on the sides of the tub. He was washing his back now and Fern couldn't stop a contented sigh from escaping his lips. “I'm glad you feel a little better,” Gareth said. Fern could hear the smile in his voice. “Want me to wash your hair?”“Yes, please.” He was past caring about being seen naked. Or being touched like this. He could not bring himself to mind when Gareth kept looking at him like he was something precious. It was doing strange things to his heart, things he hardly dared entertain.“Alright. Head back,” Gareth said, bringing him back into the moment.He poured some water over his hair, careful not to get it in his eyes. Fern found the intense concentration with which he did it very endearing. There was a crease between his brows as he wiped some water droplets from Fern’s forehead, looking at them as if they chose to be there to personally offend him. He turned away for a moment to root among Sam’s colorful arrangement of bath products and came back with two bottles of shampoo.“Which one do you want, Passion or Bubblegum?” Fern had to laugh at the utter disgust with which he looked at the bottles.“Both sound absolutely horrible.”“Heh, you're right about that,” Gareth chuckled. “Wait, there's one more. Summer meadow.”“That seems marginally better. I'll take smelling like flowers over bubblegum any day.”“Yeah, and whatever passion even smells like. Feelings have colors, not smells.”Of course feelings had colors. What else could he have expected from a person that had a wall of unicorns in his apartment. Gareth took a little of the shampoo and started lathering his hair. Fern closed his eyes, sinking into the feeling of Gareth’s hands massaging his scalp. The scent wasn't all that bad.“Your mind is an interesting place,” Fern said, making Gareth chuckle again.“I'll pretend that was a compliment.”“It might have been.” Fern opened his eyes and Gareth was watching him with that handsome grin again and he wanted him so much. He caught him by the shoulders, pulling him into a kiss. Gareth’s hands stayed at the back of his head, dragging him closer, and this was not at all what he expected from getting a bath. It was very nice.“I hope you two ain’t doing anything gross in there!” Sam yelled through the door. “I brought you both some clothes.”The door opened just a crack and a bundle of clothes flew inside, ending up in a heap on the floor. Gareth laughed against Fern’s lips before leaning away to answer her.“Thanks, we’ll be out in a minute. And could you get me a first aid kit? I need to change Fern’s bandages.”“You got it,” she said and went to clatter her way through a cupboard by the sound of it.“Okay, we should probably get you out of here,” Gareth said, reaching for the showerhead. Fern dragged him back for another kiss, making him chuckle. “Someone’s needy,” he said, but he was not attempting to get away, so he was probably good for another round. “I missed you,” he whispered against Gareth’s lips.“I missed you too. I was so fucking scared for you, you brave idiot.” Fern wondered idly whether he should be offended at being called an idiot, but decided against it. He would have to stop kissing him if he meant to argue, and that just wouldn’t do now. But Gareth unfortunately decided to be reasonable after a while.“Come on, we need to get that wrist of yours sorted out,” he said, giving him one last kiss on his nose. Gareth rinsed off the shampoo and helped him out of the bath, which was just as painful as going in. He then started drying him off, but surely he knew that Fern had hands and could do that himself, even if every movement hurt right now.“You really don't need to do this,” Fern said. Gareth paused with the towel at Fern’s hips, looking up at him with a raised eyebrow.“But I want to. Unless you want me to stop.”He didn’t want him to stop. But being cared for like this was making some very strange feelings rear their heads and he was not quite sure what to do with those.“I don't,” he said quietly. Having to admit this was more difficult than he thought.“Then why are you being a dumbass? I like you and I care about you and this is what people do when they care about someone, they help each other. Get used to it.” As if it was that simple. But Gareth was still watching him with an almost annoyed expression.“I will try.”“Good,” Gareth said, nodding in satisfaction.And he helped him get dressed as well, raising a very irritated eyebrow at him when he opened his mouth to say that he could dress on his own. Fern did not dare say anything after that. He'd been given a t-shirt of an appalingly bright red color with yet another completely wrong dragon. Couldn't the people who made these pictures look up an anatomical diagram once in their lives? And for a person who claimed not to think about ‘sky whales’ Gareth seemed to have a lot of them on his clothing. Sam lent him her sweatpants, because he would fall right out of Gareth’s. But apparently their clothes would be washed and dried come morning and he was glad for it. He had grown quite attached to that t-shirt. They went back into the kitchen. There was a first aid kit on the table and Gareth helped him sit down on a chair. Fern was not looking forward to this at all.“Can I see that wrist now?” Gareth asked, holding out a hand. Fern placed his wrist in it without responding. His mind was too occupied with apprehension to say anything. He did do this to himself, but the memory of the bandaging process he went through in the morning was too fresh in his mind. The pain was horrible, made all the worse by the fact that it was out of his control.His blood managed to soak through the bandage during the day and there was a dark red spot on it. Gareth removed it and the wrist was not looking its best. It was given a thorough examination and Gareth did not seem very happy about what he saw. He took out some gauze pads and disinfectant and started cleaning the dried blood around the wound. Fern tried very hard not to flinch, but he was not too successful, as what was left of the skin was absolutely raw. He considered himself lucky that there was no infection and that he hadn't managed to damage the tendons. Sam walked up to look over Gareth’s shoulder and she seemed horrified by the sight. She hurried away and was back a moment later, handing him two pills and a glass of water.“Here, painkillers. You need them.”He had to admit that he did, because there was hardly anything on his body that didn’t hurt in some way and having the wound poked at was not helping in the slightest. He should have asked for some earlier.“Thank you,” he said to her, before quickly swallowing the pills.“Hey, it's fine,” she said, patting his shoulder. She was very nice to him for someone who had only just met him. This was not his usual experience. Well, apart from Gareth. And Braith. It seemed to run in the family. Gareth was finally done and was winding a clean bandage around his wrist. Fern breathed out a sigh of relief.“Go sit in the living room,” Sam said. “I'll clean up this mess and then you’re gonna tell me what in all the hells is going on.”Gareth helped him stand again and they went into the living room. Her couch was the pinkest piece of furniture he had ever seen. And she had a nice collection of stones in a display cabinet. There was even a fossilized plant of some sort, though he could not get a good enough look to see what exactly it was.They sat down on the couch and Fern leaned back with a sigh. He was so tired, but the emptiness was there the moment he closed his eyes, so he reached for his left wrist automatically. The bandage was in the way. That was annoying. But the other wrist was free, he could manage that, even though his left hand was rather clumsy now. He barely got started when his hands were caught in Gareth’s. “Fern, what are you doing?” he asked, watching him with a worried expression. He was speaking quietly, as if he expected Fern to bolt if he raised his voice.“I-” He looked down on his hands as if they might supply an answer. Gareth took such pains to ensure he was healing and here he was, trying to undo all his work. “I'm sorry… I would prefer not to talk about this, if you don’t mind.”  Gareth took a breath as if he was about to try persuading him to talk, but seemed to think better of it and Fern was quite grateful. This was not a conversation he was looking forward to having. But Gareth was now getting up from the couch with a sigh and was he angry with him? He should have told him, but he just couldn’t, he didn’t even want to think about that terrible hole inside his chest, and Gareth looked so guilty about doing this to him and he didn’t want him to worry so much all the time. Fern finally dared to look up and Gareth was rummaging through a closet. He got out another t-shirt, a light blue one with a rather nice leaf pattern. He took scissors from a drawer and went back to sit down next to Fern and started cutting away a strip at the bottom of the t-shirt. This didn’t seem like the behavior of an angry person. Unless he had very strange ways of showing anger. Fern tilted his head to the side in confusion.“What are you doing?”“Solving your problem. Or a little bit of it at least.” Gareth did not elaborate further, so Fern just watched him work. He was finished soon enough and ended up with two strips of blue fabric.“Give me your hand, please,” he said, holding out his own. Fern obliged, more out of curiosity than anything else. Gareth started winding the fabric around his right wrist, continuing up his forearm before tying it off so it wouldn't slip, and the cuff and most of his forearm were completely hidden behind blue leaves. Oh. Fern gave up his left hand unasked.“I know it's not much, but…” he sighed, rubbing a hand across his face. “Fuck, I’m so sorry I did this to you.” He looked so sad. “It's not your fault. I know you didn’t want to,” Fern said, running a hand along the tense muscles of his back and Gareth relaxed a little into his touch. It felt nice to be able to do something for him for a change. He could breathe a little easier now, the medication was taking effect. And maybe it wasn't just the painkillers that did it. An orange cat jumped up next to Fern, bumping its forehead against his side. He scratched it behind the ears and was rewarded with a rumbling purr.“Hello. You are friendly,” he said to the cat, who walked onto his lap to knead at his thighs. Sam came in from the kitchen and sat down in an armchair across from them.“He’s an idiot who lives for scritches,” she said, gesturing to the cat. “Sorry about that. He’s Socks.” Why did people insist on giving animals plural names? It was so strange. He would not have normally commented upon it, but his self-control was rather frayed after the past few days.“But there is only one of him,” he said. Gareth started laughing and Sam had the most annoyed expression. Did he say something wrong?“And he’s way too long to be a sock, right?” Gareth said between bouts of laughter. He was most definitely right and it seemed that his self-control also wasn’t in the best of shapes. Fern couldn’t resist, the laughter was infectious and he wanted more of it.“Yes. More of a stocking, really,” he got out between his own giggles. It hurt to laugh, but he couldn’t stop himself when he saw the utter glee on Gareth’s face. Sam groaned, flopping back in the armchair and Gareth was laughing even harder.“Gods, there’s two of them now,” she grumbled. “You two idiots really are a great match.”“Thanks, sister dear. I’m glad you approve of my choice,” Gareth chuckled. “And I think Mr Stocking approves too, don’t you, you little bastard?” he said to the cat, who mrrped at him in assent.“Why yes, take my dumbass brother’s side, you little traitor. See if I share any yogurt with you in the near future.”“I will buy you a yogurt of your very own, Mr Stocking, don’t you worry,” Fern whispered, stroking his soft fur. Sam gave another groan. She stood up, pushing her glasses up her nose.“Alright, I’m gonna order pizza. Wasn’t exactly expecting any smelly guests, so I didn’t cook. Any requests?”“Pineapple on mine,” Gareth said, making her roll her eyes.“Why must you torture me so? That shit doesn't belong anywhere near a pizza,” she said. Her face was scrunched up in disgust and Gareth was folding his arms. “It so does.”“No, it very much does not.”This didn't seem like the first time they had this argument, Gareth was grinning and Sam came over to half-heartedly smack his arm. Gareth turned to him.“Fern, you need to make the final judgment. Pineapple on pizza - yay or nay?”Sam was watching him with a hopeful expression. He almost felt bad for dashing that hope.“I have never had the opportunity, but am willing to try. So… yay?”“Thanks, I knew I could count on you,” Gareth said, placing a hand on his thigh before turning back to Sam. “See? You're outnumbered.”“I hate you both. But I’ll get you your disgusting pizza, because I'm nice like that.”She went to make the call and was back in a few minutes, sitting back in her armchair. Mr Stocking had made his home on Fern’s lap in the meantime and was curled up in a ball, purring loudly.“Okay, so. Spill,” she said, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees.“I will leave the explanation up to you, if you don’t mind. Talking a lot is a bit painful at the moment,” he said to Gareth, who nodded, and there was that pained expression again. Fern reached out and intertwined their hands, running his thumb over Gareth’s knuckles. He got a small smile in response.Gareth turned back to Sam and started explaining their last few days, gesturing with their linked hands for emphasis. Sam's eyes were growing wider as she listened. Gareth’s hand was squeezing his quite a lot when he got to the part about him getting injured. And there were many profanities when he talked about their dragon encounter.“Wow, that's… a lot,” Sam said when Gareth finished. “But why did they want you?” she asked, looking at Fern.“I know a lot about dragons. And the field of thaumology in general. They needed me to keep a captive dragon alive, they are trying to store the magic they harmonize.”“Like a battery? That’s weird. Why?”“I have no idea,” Fern sighed. “Maybe your mom will know something,” Gareth said.“Possibly. We will see tomorrow.” He wished they would find some more answers, though he doubted they would like them very much.The pizza arrived and they ate while watching Princess Bride. Fern had never seen it, but it was apparently both Sam's and Gareth’s favorite and they kept quoting the film's more interesting parts. He stopped watching for a moment to look at the two. Sam had insisted on turning off the lights for a ‘proper experience’ and she was enraptured by the film, even though she'd seen it countless times before, as he had been informed. Gareth was leaning back next to him and his profile was still very beautiful in the soft glow of the television. Fern moved closer to him after they had eaten and Gareth slung an arm across his shoulders, hugging him as close to his side as he could without aggravating his injuries.Their legs were touching and Mr Stocking used the opportunity to spill across both their laps. He had begged pieces of pizza crust off Fern earlier and was purring in contentment at being petted by two people at once. Fern was quite surprised by the pizza, the pineapple was a very strange sensory experience. Though not a bad one. A yay after all, to Sam's great dismay. The film ended and Sam unfolded the couch and gave them some blankets.“You two should sleep, I’ll stay awake in case anything happens.”“Sam, I can keep watch, I’m used to this.” The way Gareth was rubbing at his eyes after he stood up was proving him quite the liar. And Sam would not be persuaded.“There’s no way in all the hells you ain't sleeping, you look like shit, even worse than the last time you came over, and that's saying something. I'm used to pulling all nighters and I can always take a nap after you wake up.”“Fine. But you are taking that nap in the morning,” Gareth grumbled with a put upon expression.“Thank you, Sam,” Fern said. He was glad that Gareth would finally get some rest. “See? This is the proper response. Learn from your boyfriend, brother dear.”“Thank you, Sam,” Gareth parrotted, pretending at being annoyed. He wasn’t very good at it. “You are very welcome.” She bowed with a flourish and left them alone, Mr Stocking trotting after her.Gareth sat on the couch, pulling Fern down next to him. He helped him lie down and Fern was very grateful for the help, because the broken ribs were sending horrible shocks of pain whenever he tried to bend his torso. He settled on his left side to take pressure off the fractures and cuddled close to Gareth, who placed his hand on Fern’s hip and the weight of it was very comforting. Finally, he could rest. Gareth was asleep as soon as he closed his eyes, he must have been so exhausted after everything. But sleep wouldn't come to Fern, the void was still there, pulling at him. Well, he knew what could help. But his wrists were still hidden under those blue leaves and he didn't want to take them off. Or get blood on them. His hands were beginning to shake. Oh no. He needed to do something. The horrible emptiness was threatening to swallow him and his hands were shaking even more, making the trembles spread to his whole body and he couldn’t stop it, he couldn't breathe again and his eyes were welling up with tears. This was very bad. A sob escaped him and Gareth was suddenly wide awake, looking for a threat. He turned on the lamp next to the couch and his eyes focused on Fern when he realized there was no one else in the room.“Fern, you alright?” His voice was so rough with sleep and Fern regretted waking him. After everything Gareth did for him, he couldn't even let him rest.“It’s nothing, go back to sleep,” he said, trying to stop his voice from trembling. With little success, apparently.“Hey, you’re shaking, what's wrong?” Gareth was patting at him, as if he expected to find a new injury somewhere. “Nothing, I told you already.” Fern knew it was very obvious that something was wrong, but maybe Gareth would just take his word for it and rest and Fern would not have to keep feeling guilty about bothering him all the time. But Gareth wouldn’t leave it be. He wiped at the tears that escaped down his cheeks with his thumb and Fern closed his eyes for a moment, leaning into his touch. “Come on, we both know it's not nothing. I want to help you, but I can't do that if you don't tell me what's going on in that clever head of yours.” He had that slightly annoyed expression that told Fern he was probably being stubborn again and that Gareth wasn't very interested in him being this way. He would have to tell him the truth and he did not like how tight his throat felt when he started speaking.“I- I’m sorry, I can't sleep, it’s the cuffs, I need to focus on something else, that's why I hurt my wrist before and I don’t know what to do now, I feel so wrong with the magic gone, I can't take it anymore-” The words came out in a breathless rush and Gareth looked so worried again, he was stroking Fern’s cheek gently and the touch tore through the last shreds of self-control Fern had been holding onto. He broke down crying.“Shit, Fern, I'm so sorry,” Gareth whispered, embracing him, and the horrible guilt in his voice only made the crying worse. The ice cold feeling of being unable to access his magic was clawing him open, leaving jagged shards in its wake, and Gareth’s arms were the only thing holding him together now. Gareth moved closer to rest their foreheads together and he was rubbing his back through the choking sobs. Fern felt entirely undeserving of such attention, but he still hoped that Gareth would not stop. “We’ll get you to your mom tomorrow, we’ll figure it out,” he whispered. “It’s gonna be fine.” Fern wanted to believe him so much. “I trust you,” he whispered back. Gareth kept rubbing his back and the movement was so soothing that he fell asleep at last.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Fern woke up first, blinking away sleep to focus on Gareth’s peaceful face. He felt surprisingly well rested, which was quite unexpected after his breakdown last night. He was almost in a nice mood. Well, Gareth’s presence possibly helped that along, it just felt so good to be with him, like this was exactly where he was meant to be. Gareth wrinkled his nose as he slept and Fern couldn’t help studying his face. There were so many freckles dotting his nose and cheeks, some even spilling across his forehead, and they still made for very beautiful constellations. Better than stars, really. The beard was very interesting from this close and he couldn’t stop himself from running his finger through the coarseness of it. The touch made Gareth rub his face against the blanket under him with a very adorable wrinkling of his forehead. Fern went to kiss the creases away and Gareth woke up, blinking blearily at him.

“Good morning,” he smiled at Gareth.

“G’mornin,” Gareth mumbled. “Feeling better?”

“Yes, thank you. How about you, did you sleep well?”

“Yeah. Could have slept more if certain people weren’t tickling my face though.”

“Sorry, but it is entirely your fault. You cannot be this attractive and expect me to do nothing about it. The beard looks good on you.”

“Thanks,” Gareth said. He moved closer to kiss Fern on the cheek. And on the lips. This was quite a nice morning. And then he started kissing him along the side of his neck, which was entirely new and very pleasant, until the beard started tickling him. He tensed, huffing out a laugh. Gareth leaned back, searching his face with a calculating expression. And then he buried his face in the side of Fern’s neck and that was the most evil scratchy tickling feeling ever!

“Stop that this instant!” he sputtered, before dissolving into breathless laughter. Laughing still hurt, but there was absolutely no way he could stop. Luckily Gareth took pity on him before it started to get really painful.

“But I like hearing you laugh,” he grinned. “I can’t help myself when you sound so cute. It is entirely your fault.” Ah, so it was payback for waking him up. He would have to remember this.

Gareth helped him sit up and Fern found himself fidgeting with the blue leaves on his forearms. The fabric got all rumpled during the night and the cuffs started poking out. He did not like this at all. And Gareth noticed his uneasy expression and went to remedy the situation without Fern even having to ask.

“Thank you,” he said, adding a kiss for good measure.

“It’s fine,” Gareth said. Fern realized that it was, at least a little bit.

They got up and there was breakfast waiting for them on the kitchen table. And more painkillers next to Fern’s plate. He watched Sam as she moved around the kitchen, readying breakfast for Mr Stocking, who was weaving between her legs and seemed intent on tripping her up. There was something so familiar about her, but he could not place it for the life of him. She caught his eyes as she was straightening up from giving Mr Stocking his bowl.

“You're wondering if you've seen me before,” she said.

“I- yes, sorry I was staring. I feel like I must have met you once, but I have no idea.”

“We had math together in high school. But that was before I transitioned, so I don't blame you for not figuring it out. You still look like the same nerd though. Except for the hair, that's different.”

It finally clicked. “YOU! You put that snake in my bag, I almost died of fright!”

“Come on, it was a rubber one, I wouldn’t do that to a real snake. And it was real funny.” He definitely didn’t think it funny at the time, but Gareth was laughing at him, probably remembering the snake incident on their walk as well.

“Why’d you do that?” he asked Sam.

“Because he wouldn’t let me copy his homework and I almost failed the class,” she said, giving Fern a very annoyed look.

“Fern, that’s so cold,” Gareth said. Fern disagreed.

“How was she supposed to learn otherwise?”

“Gods, you really are such a nerd.”

“I prefer the term ‘accomplished academic’, if it’s all the same to you.” He pretended at being offended, even turned his nose up at them, and it had exactly the intended effect. Sam snorted and Gareth laughed and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek.

“Aw, you two are too cute,” Sam chuckled. “So, what's the plan for today?”

“We should go to my mother in the evening,” Fern said. “It is the most likely time she will be at home. I would prefer not having to search for her at the university.”

“Alright. I’ll drive you there,” Sam said. “And now I'm leaving to get my beauty sleep.”

Sam went to bed and they used the remainder of the day to rest. She had that horrible card game they had played at the motel and Gareth made him play again. It did not go much better this time, especially since he kept getting distracted by kisses. And Mr Stocking was also most unhelpful, sitting on the table and batting at the cards they put down in an effort to join in on the fun. Then there was another movie session after Sam woke up. Fern picked this time and they watched Emperor’s New Groove; he used to like the film when he was a child and it was no less fun now. Sam did a very passable impression of Yzma, making Gareth nearly fall off the couch in laughter.

Fern almost regretted having to leave, but the prospect of finally getting rid of the cuffs overshadowed the regret greatly. Sam drove them close to mother’s estate and went with them, despite Gareth’s protests. Gareth decided they should sneak in rather than use the front entrance, since he expected it to be watched, so they went through the next street over, until they reached the fence at the back of the property, where there were enough trees that their movement was obscured. Gareth and Sam climbed over the fence and Fern used his old getaway route, moving a loose plank to the side just enough that someone very slight could squeeze themselves through. The caretaker never repaired this one, she seemed to like Fern.

They sneaked closer to the house, hiding behind the gardener’s shed. The guard posted at the back entrance was looking around with a bored expression, not really expecting anything to happen. Nothing ever happened, but mother still kept the guards around.

“So, any idea how to get in?” Gareth whispered.

“I can get us through the door, unless mother locked me out. But we need to get rid of this guard. There’s only one other and he’s posted at the main entrance, so he will not notice us.”

Sam tapped him on the shoulder. “I'll draw his attention and you two run for it. Or limp for it.”

“Sam, what kind of bullshit are you up to?” Gareth asked. This did not seem to be their first time doing something like this, based on the exasperated look he was giving her.

“Only the best,” she grinned. “Now give me a moment.”

She hurried into the gardens when the guard’s back was turned and took position near the fountain.

“Mr Stocking! Mr Stocking! Where are you?” Sam was yelling at the top of her lungs, smacking around at the decorative shrubbery. The guard ran over from his post to apprehend her.

“Ma'am, this is a private property,” he said. He sounded quite surprised at her getting past him. As if he was doing his job properly.

“But- but my kitty!” Sam wailed. “He's lost! I saw him run in here.”

“I'm sorry about your cat, but I need to escort you off the premises.” He took her arm and she was trying to get out of his grasp. Fern tensed, but Gareth placed a hand on his shoulder before he could do anything rash.

“Hey, it's fine, she could kick his ass if she wanted.”

She allowed herself to be led around the corner of the house and then just… flopped to the ground? The guard seemed to have no idea what to do about this.

“No!” she yelled. “I'm not leaving without Mr Stocking!”

“Come on, we've got to go.” Gareth took him by the waist and they crept across the lawn to the house. They could hear the guard’s perplexed attempts at getting Sam to leave.

They got to the door and Fern used the fingerprint scanner to open it. It seemed that mother hadn't removed his access after all, even if she did threaten to do so.

“That went better than I expected,” Fern said. “Your sister is quite the actress.”

“Yeah, she’s good,” Gareth chuckled. “Even used to act in the local theatre for a while.”

They heard her yelling once more before they closed the door. “Oh! I think I see him! Come to mommy, my little darling!”

Fern led the way through the house into mother’s study, as it was the most likely place to find her at this time. Mother was sitting at her desk again, studying something on the monitor and she did not seem very happy with what she read. Fern knocked on the doorframe, because he knew that she would startle if they entered unannounced. She startled anyway, jumping out of her chair and rushing over to them.

“Fern, where have you been? My men could not find you after you left your house.” Only now did she seem to notice his face and she even gasped. He didn’t think she had it in her. “What happened to you?” she asked. Was she actually worried about him?

“I… have been abducted. Among other things.” He unwrapped his left wrist, showing her the cuff. Her eyes widened when she saw it.

“Who did this to you?” she growled. He'd never heard such terrible rage in her voice before. But he really didn't want to explain the whole story now, there were more pressing matters.

“Can you remove them?” he asked.

“I can.”

She could! Why wasn’t she doing it already? He raised his hands up for her, but she stopped him, her fingers curling around his in a gesture that was almost comforting.

“I will take these off you in a moment, but you must ready yourself. Removing them comes with some side effects. Sit down, please.”

Gareth helped him sit in the chair in front of her desk and unwrapped his right forearm, because Fern could hardly do it himself, trembling in excitement as he was. He would finally be rid of them!

“I don't care about side effects, just do it!” It took everything he had not to yell. “Please,” he added, desperate to make her hurry up. He needed. Them. Off!

“There may be some difficult to control emotions,” she said. He didn’t care about that either. There was only one thing he cared about right now and he would stop at nothing to get it.

“Fuck difficult emotions, do it already!”

“Very well. Take a deep breath, please.”

He did. She raised her hands to the cuffs, there was a subtle glow of magic and they fell away, landing on the carpet with a twin thud. They were off! He was left staring dumbly after the horrible things. It was so fucking simple, just use magic to get rid of the things locking the magic away! He was so angry. So fucking angry at the bastards, they took it away and now it was surging behind his sternum, ready to overflow and

kill

. He would destroy them for this. The rage was incandescent, he'd never felt like this before and it was glorious! He would tear and rend and-

“Fern, your hands.”

They were burning with fire and someone was speaking to him, touching his shoulder, and how dare anyone

touch him

, he would destroy everyone that stood in his way! He grabbed the hand trying to hold onto him and flung it away.

Gareth cried out in pain.

No!

He hurt him. After everything Gareth had done for him, the first thing he managed to do with the magic back was to

hurt

him. He jumped out of the chair to see the damage and Gareth was holding onto his forearm and there was a bright red handprint on it, standing out so horribly against the pale skin.

Fern reached out to touch him and Gareth flinched away. He was scared of him now! Why did he have to keep messing everything up?

“Fern, you need to put the fire out before you touch me.” He was speaking so calmly, like Fern was a spooked animal and not someone who kept hurting him over and over and over-

“Hey, I'm fine, it just stings a little. I want to hold you, but you need to let me do it first.”

He wanted… How was he even real? After everything he'd suffered because of Fern, he still wanted him? That couldn't be true, no one could want him, no one ever had. He drew his hands back, but he was still so angry and now he was so ashamed for hurting him, he had no idea what to do! He closed his eyes, trying to ground himself, but it wasn't working, he was shaking with rage and shame and there were tears running down his cheeks, he couldn't take this-

There was a warm hand at the nape of his neck.

“Fern, listen to me. I'm not angry with you, shit happens. But it would really help if your hands stopped being on fire.”

Fern opened his eyes and Gareth was right there, so close, watching patiently, and he didn't seem to be scared of him after all. Fern wanted to touch him so much, but the fire was still there when he raised his hands, but Gareth didn’t flinch this time, he was stroking his thumb against Fern’s hair and it felt so good. Like he could be alright after all. He willed the fire to leave, he would need it later for others, but not for him. Never him again.

He reached out hesitantly towards the burn mark. He would make this right, at least this one thing he needed to make better, and Gareth kept still, waiting.

“May I?” Fern asked. He could speak now. Good.

“Sure, go ahead,” Gareth said. How could he be so trusting? It filled Fern with so much joy! He wasn't scared of him! He hovered his palm above the burn, careful not to touch it, and called on the magic to run through his fingers. They glowed softly and the handprint was disappearing, drawing away until the skin was unmarked once again. Fern looked up into Gareth’s eyes and they were so soft for him and his smile was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

“Thanks,” Gareth said, just like that, like Fern wasn’t the one who hurt him in the first place.

He could no longer stand the distance between them and drew Gareth into an embrace, tucking his head under his chin. Gareth held onto him, running his hand in soothing circles along his back and the rush of emotions was finally abating. Mother wasn't wrong about the side effects. Wait. He leaned away from Gareth to look at her. She was watching them with an expression he hardly ever saw on her face. Was that fondness? It looked strange on her.

“You don't have magic,” he said. It felt silly how accusing the words sounded. “I have never seen you use it in my life.”

“It is true that you have not, but that does not mean I do not have the ability. I have been taught to suppress it in my youth and the habit stayed.”

“Why would anyone make you do that?”

She sighed, looking down for a moment. “There was a war before you were born, you do know that, yes?”

He nodded. Of course he knew that, everyone did, but what did that have to do with anything?

“It was going badly for us and all who were able to wield magic were drafted into the armed forces. I was fourteen when I started coming into my magic and would have been drafted as well, young as I was, but my father would not allow that. So he taught me to hide it. I rebelled, of course, and he was not above using cuffs such as these to punish me for risking being taken away.” He couldn't keep the horrified expression off his face. How could anyone do that to their own child?

“I… am sorry, mother, for what little it is worth.”

“Thank you, I appreciate the sentiment. I am sorry you had to suffer through this, I know full well how damaging those things are.”

“Did he-” Fern almost stumbled over the words. He still couldn’t believe it. How could his grandfather have been so cruel? “Did he use them a lot?”

“The longest time I ever had them on was when I was expecting you.”

“What?” He had never met the man, but he found himself hating him with every fiber of his being. For all her faults, mother did not deserve having that done to her.

“I met your father when I was quite young and we tried to run away together, but we were unsuccessful. He got drafted into the war at my father's behest and I was kept home under guard. And then you were born and I could not run away and leave you behind, because that would mean

him

raising you.” She spat the word with such hate. He could not blame her in the slightest.

“But why did you treat me the way you did?” he asked. This was not why he was here, but he just couldn’t help himself. This part of her had been hidden from him his entire life and he needed at least a little explanation.

“I regret it immensely. I was grieving the loss of your father and every time I looked at you I was reminded of what I could have had.” She was wringing her hands and there was such sorrow in her expression. He always thought she hated his father, given the way she treated him. And the way she seemed to hate humans. “And by the time I realized how unfair I had been to you, the chasm between us was too wide… and I was too set in my ways. I apologize, though I know it does not erase what I have done.”

“I don't know if I can forgive you,” he said quietly. Gareth was holding onto his hand and running his thumb across his knuckles. It helped him stay calm. This was all a bit much.

“I understand,” she said. She looked at Gareth and Fern drew himself up, getting ready to defend him. He would not be repeating his mistake from before. “I am glad that you found someone who cares for you,” she added.

This was not at all what he expected her to say, but it seemed like she really meant it. “Thank you,” he said with a nod. He almost felt sorry for her, even though it changed nothing about what she'd done. He took a deep breath to try and get his emotions under control and flinched at the pain that shot through him. Gareth’s hand tightened against his.

“Shouldn't you probably heal that now?”

He was right. Once again. But Fern almost forgot about the ribs in the horror he felt at mother's admission. He placed a hand against his side and pulled at the magic to make the bones whole again and the broken pieces fused together with a horrible grinding sensation. He shuddered at the feeling of bone fragments moving under his skin and hoped he would not have to repeat this anytime soon. Gareth took the opportunity of not having to worry about hurting him to catch him at the waist and hold him close to his side. He did not seem to care about propriety. Neither did Fern.

“So, got any idea why those fuckers went after Fern?” Gareth asked. “Ma’am,” he added as an afterthought. Fern had to chuckle when her eyes widened momentarily at his word choice.

“I do, Mr Owens,” she said primly. Gareth did have a talent for annoying people when he wished. “They aim to create a weapon which utilizes harmonized magic as an explosive agent; it is meant to level entire cities within the blink of an eye. And they need Fern’s expertise to reach their goal.”

“Why are they making a fucking bomb? The truce has been on for years,” Gareth said. Fern was too stunned to say anything. He was meant to be an agent of destruction?

“It has. But there is a movement towards the renewal of the war effort. Do you know why it started in the first place?”

“They attacked us. Wanted to get rid of magic wielders,” Gareth said. Fern realized that he was probably old enough to have lived through the war.

“No,” she said simply.

Fern finally found his voice. “What do you mean ‘no’? Why then?”

“Our neighboring country has little to no magic wielders and they are shunned there, that much is true. But the story of the incursion is a fabrication.”

Gareth seemed disinclined to believe this. “My dad was there when it happened. He told mom how it went.”

“Of course.” Mother held up her hand placatingly. “There would be no reason for him to believe otherwise. But the supposed soldiers were paid mercenaries and they played their part rather well. They were simply there to create an excuse for our government to retaliate… Many things are possible with enough money to back them.”

“And you know that how?” Gareth asked. He still did not look convinced.

“I know because my mother was a part of the effort to bring about the war. Which was the final straw that caused my parents to separate.” That seemed to satisfy him a little.

“But why would they do it?” Fern asked. “Why would they want war?”

“They have long wished to occupy the territory to make use of the background magic there. Since there are very few natural magic wielders there, the thaumic flows are stronger, making for better opportunities to harvest them. This was their goal back then and it still is now.”

“Alright, this is some bullshit,” Gareth interjected. “No one except magic wielders can do shit with magic, so what would they need that for?”

“A power source. They would siphon thaumic flows out of the environment and use the resulting energy as fuel with very little cost to them.”

Fern was almost too shocked for words. How could they even conceive of such a thing? Didn’t they realize what that would mean?

“But that would make the whole ecosystem collapse!” he said, louder than he intended, but this was just too horrible to even imagine. “The dragons would go extinct and then the storms would get worse and non-magical fauna would be affected too! The world would not recover from this!”

“You are correct,” she nodded. She looked angry about it too. “But such a collapse would not happen within our lifetimes. And the wealthy care not for the future, they care only for the promise of more wealth.”

They would destroy the world for base greed? And he was meant to be an accomplice to that? Fern’s hands were shaking with rage. He would not let this happen.

“How do we stop them?”

“There will be a meeting between the secretary of defense and the group that is creating the weapon tomorrow evening. It is to happen at a former military base close to the city and I aim to travel there with my men and put a stop to this. You can hide away here until I have done so.”

She pulled up a map, pointing to a network of buildings, and Gareth leaned closer to study it. “That's where they took us. I could help your guys out, I know my way around there.” Fern felt that a ‘we’ was very much missing from that sentence.

“I'm coming with you,” he said, but mother had quite a disapproving expression at that. This was more like the mother he knew.

“I do not wish to endanger you,” she said. “What do you think will happen if they take you again? They will make you assist them and the world will burn.”

“I will let them kill me before I help them with this,” he spat. Gareth’s arm tensed against him. He likely shouldn't have said that, but he would

not

be helping with such cruelty.

“Fern, your mom has a point,” Gareth said. “You should lay low here.”

“What do you mean

I

should lay low?” Fern said, raising his voice in disbelief. “I have my magic back, I can protect you both!”

“You're reckless and you have no combat experience. I don't want you to get hurt.” Gareth might have had a point, but Fern wouldn’t let him get hurt either!

“I am not letting you out of my sight again! You were taken the last time I did!” Yes, he was very definitely raising his voice. And now Gareth was as well.

“That was a fluke. And it changes nothing about the fact that you’re incapable of thinking before running into danger!”

“My not thinking has saved your life on more than one occasion!” Fern was getting quite irritated with him. He would not make him hide here and leave to get hurt again!

“You will

not

make me leave you. Never again!” He realized he was yelling. And Gareth was actually startled. Good, at least he knew he meant it.

Gareth sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. He finally seemed to understand that there would be no more arguing about this.

“Okay, fine, we'll stay together. But you need to listen to me so you don’t get killed.”

“I shall endeavor to try,” he said. This didn’t seem to be good enough for Gareth, who opened his mouth to say something, but he was interrupted by a yell from downstairs. And then a bang of something that sounded too much like a firearm. Did they find them?

Mother went to the door, looking out into the hallway. Sounds of a fight were filtering from downstairs, but the two guards would likely be no match for the mercenaries, if it was them after all. She turned back to them.

“Go. I will hold them off for as long as I am able,” she said. There was fire at her fingertips and the air was sizzling with the amount of energy emanating from her.

“It appears that this place has been compromised. I may have shown my hand to the wrong people, but they might not know you are here. You need to go and try to disrupt the meeting tomorrow if I do not manage to get there in time.” Gareth nodded, taking Fern’s arm.

“Mother? What are you-” Fern began, but Gareth was dragging him to the balcony.

“Come on, we’ve got to go. We still have a job to do.”

They climbed down onto the lawn and Fern was really grateful that his ribs were finally healed. They ran back across the property, the fence was close, when there was a great noise like a thunderclap and the windows of the ground floor of mother’s house blew outwards. The force of the blast knocked Fern to his knees and Gareth ran back to him, dragging him back up to keep running. They got out onto the street and Fern risked a glance back.

The house was burning.

Gareth took his arm again and led him onwards. Sam's car screeched to a stop next to them when they rounded a corner. They jumped in and she took off, speeding through the silent streets.

“Sam, you can probably slow down now, we're far enough,” Gareth said with a tap on her shoulder when they reached the highway. There didn’t seem to be any cars following them.

“Huh?” She seemed surprised when she noticed how fast she was going and lightened her foot on the gas. Fern was glad, because he would definitely be sick otherwise. Sitting in the back still did not agree with him. “Yeah, sorry, the explosion was kinda scary.”

Scary was quite the understatement, Fern was still reeling from the sight of the fire. Hopefully it was mother’s doing and she would be alright, though there was nothing they could do to help her now, they had to focus on their goal.

“Can you drive us to mom's?” Gareth asked Sam. “Gotta pick up some stuff there for tomorrow. Shit's gonna go down apparently and I don’t think that my place is safe right now.”

“Okay, no problem,” she nodded. “And I let her know you’re not dead earlier, but she’s still a bit pissed.”

“I figured,” Gareth sighed. “Thanks.”

Fern rested his head against Gareth’s shoulder. He really wanted all this to be over. Gareth placed a hand on his thigh and Fern covered it with his own. Well, not really covered, his hand was too small compared to Gareth’s, but he wanted to give him at least some semblance of the safety he felt when Gareth held him. Gareth’s fingers tightened just slightly under his. Maybe he understood.

The downstairs light came on when they arrived and Braith was already coming out the front door when Sam parked the car.

“What are you three doing here?” she called out. Her eyes widened when they came closer and the light from the hallway hit his face. “Fern, what happened to you?” She took his chin, turning his face up to get a better look. He forgot how terrible the bruise was. He would probably have to heal it sometime, but he was quite unwilling to waste magic on inconsequential things right now.

“Gareth?” Braith said in a quite threatening tone. “Does this have anything to do with the fact that you went missing?” She let go of his chin and turned to Gareth, watching him with narrowed eyes.

“Yeah, mom. Sorry about that.” He took Fern’s hand in his own, squeezing gently. It seemed like he needed the touch as much as Fern did. Braith caught the movement and her eyes stopped for a second on their joined hands before she looked back up again, giving Fern a small smile.

She motioned for them to follow her inside. “Come in, you will explain over dinner. And you

will

tell me everything.”

They came into the kitchen and Braith did not let Fern help this time. Instead she sat him at the table and then she ordered Sam and Gareth around. It seemed to help her combat stress and the two obeyed quite readily. They looked like they were used to this. The food was soon ready and Braith gave Gareth a questioning look once they started eating. He took a deep breath, rubbing at his forehead.

“Remember the bastards I used to work with?”

“I do, unfortunately,” she sighed.

“They kidnapped me and used me to get Fern… we got away, but they're still after him, they need his research for some dumb war plan and we know where their leaders are gonna be meeting tomorrow. They need to be taken out and there's no one else to do it but us.”

“Leaving this to the authorities is out of the question, I suppose?” she tried, but it was obvious she already knew the answer.

“Rose pays off as many cops as she can, so they probably won't be too helpful.”

“I hope you know what you're doing, Cub,” Braith said, pinching the bridge of her nose. Gareth reached across the table to briefly squeeze her hand.

“Hey, we'll be fine. I can hold my own in a fight and Fern’s got magic now. He can blow shit up.”

“I’m not sure if that makes me less or more worried,” she said, casting a concerned glance at Fern.

“I will not allow Gareth to get hurt,” he told her. She laughed a little.

“I must say I was worried more about you, Fern. But I see that Gareth chose well.”

“I did, didn't I? Got myself a real sweet guy” Gareth said with a smile. Fern was quite certain his cheeks were turning pink, based on the amused looks both Braith and Sam were giving him, and he suddenly became very interested in his dinner. Why did he have to get flustered every time he ate here?

“Well then, you two are going to bed,” Braith announced when they were finished eating. “And I will hear no arguments.”

Fern did not dare argue with her. He knew it was pointless, for one. And he also had no energy to spare. Gareth wasn’t looking much better.

“We'll keep watch,” she added, patting Sam on the shoulder. But Gareth apparently dared to argue.

“Mom, it could get dangerous,” he said. He was frowning at her and there was a worried crease between his brows.

“We can handle ourselves just fine. But you need rest if you're really going through with your plan tomorrow.” She was frowning right back at him and Fern felt he should probably say something.

“Braith has a point. You do need rest,“ he chimed in, turning to Gareth.

“And you don't?” Gareth asked. He was raising an eyebrow at him again.

“I might,” Fern yawned. And that did it. Gareth barely suppressed his own yawn and Sam snickered at them.

“Go to bed, you idiots. We'll wake you up if anyone comes to kill you.”

They walked upstairs into Gareth’s bedroom and it felt like they entered a forest. There were trees on the walls, some of the branches were even stretching across the ceiling, which was adorned with white clouds against a blue sky. Fern couldn’t help walking over to get a closer look, running his fingers across a pinecone. He'd expected it to be wallpaper, but there were visible brush strokes… the amount of work that must have gone into this was incredible.

“Who painted this? It's beautiful,” he said, turning back to Gareth, who was watching him with a soft smile.

“Hm?” Gareth hummed. He was leaning against the doorframe, arms folded across his chest, and seemed to be lost in observing him, not really listening to what he said.

“I was curious who painted this,” he repeated.

“Oh, I did. Used to paint a lot when I was a kid. Didn't really have time for it after… you know,” he trailed off, gesturing vaguely with his hands.

“It’s lovely,” Fern said. “I think you should take it up again sometime.” Gareth ducked his head and his cheeks were turning pink. He looked beautiful like this.

“Thanks. Maybe I'll try after all this bullshit is over.”

“I look forward to seeing it,” Fern said and walked back to him to stand on his tiptoes and kiss him, making Gareth take him by the waist and pull him close. The feeling of his strong hands holding him was making warmth spread through his entire body. And the warmth made its way to the tips of his ears and they were most certainly going red. Oh well. He didn’t really care. It took a long time for Gareth to let him go but it still felt like it was too soon.

“Alright, we should probably go to bed,” Gareth said, undressing and throwing his clothes on a chair. Fern’s clothes followed suit.

The bed was not very large, but they would make do. Unless Gareth decided to be obstinate.

“If you say that you'll be sleeping on the floor again, I will be very angry with you,” Fern said.

“Fine, fine, I think we'll manage to squeeze in.” Gareth laughed, and Fern found himself smiling at him in quite a foolish way. His laughter was quickly becoming one of his favorite sounds.

Gareth sat on the bed, opening his arms for Fern, and he all but jumped at him to get there as fast as he could. And Gareth chuckled warmly at his eagerness, and Fern just had to kiss him. And again. And some more, until Gareth placed a finger against his lips.

“Hey, as much as I like doing this, we should probably sleep. We'll have all the time in the world for this after we deal with whatever shit goes down tomorrow.” Why in all the hells did he have to be so reasonable?

“Promise?” Fern asked. He did not mean to sound quite so pitiful.

“Promise,” Gareth said, giving him a final peck on the cheek. “Now rest.”

Gareth ended up on his back with Fern cuddled close to his side, resting his head on his chest. He was

so

tired. This evening had been a lot. Just like the day before, and the ones before that as well… but this time he might be able to rest properly. The sound of Gareth's heartbeat was wonderfully calming, but still he had a hard time falling asleep. He made the magic come to his fingertips, just enough of it to make the sparks appear. He liked watching them. Gareth raised his hand and went to intertwine their fingers and it still amazed Fern how unafraid he was. He just accepted the magic, even though he knew it could be dangerous, even though Fern hurt him with it.

Gareth squeezed his hand and there was that rush again, the feeling of connection. He felt Gareth’s heartbeat in his palm, felt the life coursing through him, he could almost sense the processes inside his cells-

He felt his love. It was everywhere, drowning him, there was so much of it that his breath caught. And his own love for Gareth was there in a torrent, a flood of emotions threatening to overrun him. He raised his head to look at him and Gareth was watching him with a rather stunned expression. The sparking magic was painting his face with splashes of color and he didn’t let go of Fern’s hand. If anything, he held on even tighter.

“Did you feel that?” Gareth asked.

“I did.” He had to get the words out. This was not what he expected, but it was all he wanted.

“I love you,” he said, eyes never leaving Gareth’s. He didn’t care if he wasn't ready to say it back, he needed to tell him how he felt. But Gareth didn't even hesitate.

“I love you too,” he breathed out, dragging him up for a kiss. Oh. They did seem to have time for more after all.