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The two idiots took wayyy too long to get together, like fifteen years too long. They’d been eyefucking each other and cuddling all night and fighting like an old married couple and staring longingly at each other when they thought they weren’t looking for years and years and years.
It’s when they’re recording PAX AM Days that it finally happens. Pete is mesmerized by Patrick. The singer is sweaty and drunk and kinda angry, and he sounds so fucking good in that recording booth. The growl in his voice makes Pete practically ascend. And with so much liquid courage in both of their blood… well the storage closet at the studio needed a big disinfecting after they left.
And they’ve been together ever since, happy and content and just overall perfect. They’re soulmates. They complete each other and push each other. They fight and then have phenomenal makeup sex and get in competitions of who can fluster the other person faster. And it’s fucking great. Neither of them would change a thing.
Until—
Pete is really confused and honestly a little hurt. Why was Patrick telling all their friends he had a girlfriend? Patrick was supposed to be dating Pete. They were literally boyfriends. They had been for almost a decade now. So why was Patrick bragging to everyone about the girl he was seeing, writing songs about how amazing it felt to be with this girl, how good she felt underneath him?? What was Pete doing wrong? Did Patrick not want to be boyfriends anymore?
Like when Pete was digging through the dark corner of their closest, and found one of his boyfriend’s iconic trucker hats, but this one read “I ❤️ my gf”. Where did Pete’s boyfriend even get this??? Why did Patrick have a hat that said “I ❤️ my bf”?
Did Patrick not love Pete anymore? Why wouldnt he say something? Was this Patrick’s way of trying to let Pete down? He already found someone else, someone better??
The last straw is on a rainy Sunday afternoon. The two had been snuggled up on the couch rewatching star wars (for the 7 millionth time) and out of nowhere, Patrick is humming contently into his lover’s neck, whispering, “I love you so much, my soulmate, made for me.”
And all Pete can think about is Patrick saying those same words to whatever girl he’s seeing on the side.
And then the singer is quickly pushed off of Pete and the latter proceeds to bursts into a sudden onset tears, full on crocodile tears with heaving breaths in between bouts.
Patrick is absolutely dumbfounded and shocked, reaching out for his lover. But Pete pushes his hands away.
“Don’t touch me!!”
Patrick is quick to take a few steps back. Pete looks scared and sad and the singer doesn’t know what to do.
“Pete, baby, what’s wrong? What did I do?”
Pete laughs at the audacity of his boyfriend— are they even boyfriends at this point?
“What did you do? What did you do? You’re fucking cheating on me and bragging about it to anyone that will listen, then turning around and saying you love me!”
And then Patrick’s eyebrows furrow and his mouth opens to rebut, but Pete’s not done.
“Why not breakup with me first, since you’re clearly in love with her. Why do you hate me so much? Why are you hurting me like this?”
The bassist’s voice is breaking when saying this.
All Patrick wants is to grab his lover and pull pete in for a hug and say he’s so sorry. Patrick doesn’t know what his lover is talking about, but maybe he hasn’t been a good enough boyfriend. He stays where he is though. The bassist has set a boundary. He’ll respect it, even if it makes his knees tremble, desperate to crawl to Pete’s feet and beg for forgiveness for whatever he did.
“Is it something I did?” And Pete sounds so so small when saying this, not even looking Patrick in the eyes.
The singer’s heart absolutely breaks, because his lover is absolutely perfect.
“Pete I don’t know what I did but I’m so so sorry. I love you. You’re perfect. I’d never cheat on you. Please, baby. You’re my everything.”
Pete’s cant decide what’s a better idea: punch Patrick’s two front teeth out or just go hide in the bathroom and cry in the shower for hours. But there’s no way the bassist can put up with this any longer. Pete’s tired of always being second best.
“Your everything? Patrick all you do all day is tell anyone who will listen about the amazing girl you’re seeing, dating the girlfriend of your dreams, how she’s so hot and sexy and smart. And I can’t take it anymore. I can’t pretend I don’t know you love her and fuck her.”
Patrick’s jaw is on the floor because what is going on??? But Pete keeps going
“I hear it all, everything you say to Joe and Andy. I’ve read the texts about how obsessed you are with her. And your lyrics? Make it less obvious, why don’t you. Or have the fucking balls to break it off with me already because even if you don’t love me, I fucking adore you. I don’t deserve this, please.”
Pete takes a big deep breath before speaking again, but the voice still comes out shaky and small.
“Patrick, it’s okay if you don’t love me anymore. You can go be with her. Just please stop hurting me like this.”
Silence.
And then the singer takes a slow step closer to Pete like he’s approaching a scared animal. He says the first of many questions that need to be answered, because this is very very confusing.
“Pete, you know the girl I’m in love with is you, right?”
The bassist looks even more confused than Patrick did now.
“Huh? Patrick, what are you talking about?”
“Pete, the girl I’m dating, the girl I’m in love with, my gorgeous adoring, sexy, unbelievably amazing girlfriend who I write all those lyrics about…. you know that’s you right?”
“What are you talking about? Stop making shit up or I will leave and never speak to you again.”
What isn’t Pete getting? Patrick thought his lover knew. The bassist definitely had to know that Patrick knew about Pete’s identity. They’ve fucking talked about it before.
The singer speaks slowly, almost like he’s talking to a fifth grader when he says the next words, trying to resolve the unspoken tension.
“Pete, you’re the girl I’m in love with because… ya know you’re a girl.”
And then Pete jumps about three feet in the air while screaming at her boyfriend, “What are you talking about?! You think I’m a girl?!”
Patrick is nodding along now, still confused but glad they’re getting somewhere.
“Yeah baby. I know you are.”
If Pete wasn’t so fucking baffled, she’s be rolling on the floor laughing.
“Trick, sweetie, I am not a girl.”
And now Patrick’s the one confused, shaking his head.
“Yes you are. We’ve literally talked about it and all the signs are there and yeah you’ve never fully come out and said you’re a girl but I mean… we’ve talked about it. It’s kinda obvious…”
Ok what the fuck is the singer even talking about?
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
And then Patrick starts reminding Pete of all the signs and conversations that informed Patrick he was in fact dating a girl.
There was the times when Pete would put on eyeliner again like the old days, and curl her hair, and put on her favorite long skirt. And then she’d practically twirl in it all day and ask Patrick, “am I pretty?”
And that day Pete was heading to the court in a tennis skirt, which causes Patrick to have a freaking asthma attack because holy hell she looked so sexy and cute and oh god. The man fell to his knees at the sight of her and let’s just say the two got a workout even before Pete went off to her private tennis lesson (in a new outfit, because what she was originally wearing needed to be washed).
And then there were the nights when Pete would ask her boyfriend to braid her hair and paint her nails, and look at Patrick with a mischievous sparkle in her eyes, saying “prettier than all the girls from your past, huh?”
And no Patrick was not a bigot. He knew having long hair or wearing makeup did not automatically make you a girl. Clothing and presentation doesn’t always equal gender!!
But… who could mistake the way Pete preened when Patrick would say things like “look at my babygirl” and “such a good little girl so pretty for me”. And Pete’s response would come out whiny and angelic, “your pretty girl, Tricky.” No one lasted long after those words were said.
And even when they weren’t in the bedroom, Patrick would call her those endearing names, always his darling, his angel, his precious babygirl.
So like three months ago, Patrick started using she/her pronouns for Pete and calling her his amazing girlfriend and his lover never corrected him… and now they’re here.
And when Patrick is done reminding Pete of all this, Pete is just staring at him, lips wide open in shock.
And then she’s shaking her head.
“No, no trick, I can’t be a girl. I’m too old. I would’ve realized fifteen years ago.”
And no Patrick doesn’t want to be that annoying cis person who is trying to tell people their own identities but-
“Petey, honey, it’s never too late to find yourself. Maybe in the past you were okay being a boy, but you don’t have to be one now, if you don’t want to.”
Pete’s still shaking her head like it’s impossible to even think about.
“It’s too much work to change things. And what about our fans? I don’t want to have to come out and broadcast all the surgeries and I don’t even know if I want surgeries and-“
Okay Pete might be going into panic mode.
Patrick is standing right in front of his lover now.
“Can I hold you, baby?”
Pete nods yes in between sniffling. And then her loving boyfriend is cradling her head in his arms and her tears are staining his shirt.
And patrick is whispering in his girlfriend’s ear, soft and sweet.
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, love. You don’t need to get surgeries to be a girl. You don’t have to tell anyone you don’t want to that you’re a girl. But you deserve to live and be loved as your true self. You’re still Pete, either way, honey.”
Pete’s body is trembling with full on sobs and her boyfriend’s shirt is practically soaked.
“If I am a girl, you’ll still love me? And the fans don’t have to know? And what about Andy and Joe and my parents and your parents and-“
Patrick is shushing the panicking girl in his arms.
“Um well, Joe and Andy kinda already know because we’ve talked about it and they’re already using the right pronouns for you. In fact Joe on more than one occasion has begged me to ‘shut up about your girlfriend already. I’ve literally known her for 20 years dude.’”
And Pete’s still crying but now she’s laughing too. Deep down, she knew her band mates would be supportive but it’s still hard. Admitting anything is hard, but especially this.
“And we can tell our parents together or not at all. It’s all about going at your pace, baby.”
Patrick’s girlfriend looks so fragile right now, whispering her replies so soft, almost scared.
“Patrick, am I really a girl?”
And her boyfriend lets a small smile onto his face.
“If you want to be, then yes, you’ll be the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”
Pete’s nodding now, wiping her tears and lifting her head off Patrick’s shoulder. She still has a tight grip on him though, like she’s scared her lover will disappear the second she lets go.
“I think I want to be- I think I am a girl.”
Patrick is practically beaming with pride looking at the angel in front of him. And then they’re kissing, soft and slow. And it’s salty because Pete’s tears are mixing in between their parted lips. There’s no heat in it, just love and joy and acceptance and a lifetime of confusion and fear and longing.
And when they pull apart, Pete looks into her boyfriend’s pretty eyes and lets out a giggle.
“Sorry I thought it you were cheating.”
“Sorry I never really asked about it and just assumed.”
And then they’re kissing once more, only this time it’s more aggressive, more heated and hungry. And their hands start roaming.
Pete’s pulling them back onto the couch. And in between pauses of their make out session all Patrick can do is practically worship the stunning girl in front of him, and whisper his adoration.
“My gorgeous, gorgeous girl. All mine. My beautiful girlfriend.”