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His head hung backwards, cracked and split in half like a watermelon. His mouth open, full of blood and splinters of bone poking through the roof of his mouth, teeth missing or maybe they migrated into his skull? Maybe they’re in his throat. Tufts of hair frazzled, knotted up.
His fingers twitched around the guns trigger, squeezing the grip like a pulse. Was he alive? Hes not breathing. Must be his muscles.
Your hands raised forward, your knees slightly bent, trying to seem as least threatening, trying to calm him down - at least to get your gun back from Bob, which completely failed.
You stood there, arms still raised, knees still bent. You couldnt do anything but stare at his now torn face, his mouth, his hair. His blood on your palms, sprayed around your fingers, your shirt, your face. You barely noticed your mouth opened and closed rapidly, trying to get a word out, his blood dripping down from your nose, top lip, to your bottom. Your white blouse stained with him.
You couldnt help but hum small whines as two, three men ran into the room, carrying his body up and away. Two hands grip your shoulders, nails digging leaving a deep crescent shape. You were numb to sound, your ears rang, muffled like you’re underwater.
“David.” You whispered, staring straight at the red stain smeared and splattered on the wall in front of you, glass shattered on the floor.
“Come on, easy.” He moved you into the hallway, his hand moving to your wrist, thumb pressing onto your pulse.
You follow his move, your free hand wrapped firmly over your mouth trying to suppress any and all moans and whines trying to leave your throat as you replay the memories.
He sits you down in the waiting area, kneeling in front of you. His hands caressing your wrists slowly, his thumbs rubbing circles on the back of your hand.
“I’ll give you a sec, gimme a shout if you wanna go or we can get you cleaned up the best we can, m’kay?” His eyes were a light pink, they were wider than usual, his hands were shaking against yours. You pressed your back against the chair and inhaled sharply, expressing a hum and quick nod to his statement. He nodded back and lightly tapped your knee as he pulled himself up, trudging back to the interrogation room.
Meanwhile you moved yourself forward, elbows resting on your knees, head in your hands, quietly sobbing - you dared make a sound, the dried blood of Bob that made your hands significantly dry, now wet, spots printing onto your cheeks.
You heard a familiar thump of footsteps lumber down the hall, as well as a dear soft hand on your shoulder,
“C’mon quickly.” Loki whispered, looking back over his shoulder. The sound of squeaky wheels could be heard from down the hall. You got up, walking hastily to the bathroom to avoid seeing the aftermath once more.
You hunched over the sink, head hung low, your back arching in and out as you breathed deep breaths trying to get a hold of yourself. Loki followed, rubbing his palm in circles on your hack, feeling the ridges of your spine.
“Sit there,” he whispered, “gimme a sec.” You did as you were told and sat up on the counter next to the sink, watching as Loki dipped in and out of stalls collecting pieces of toilet paper, scrunching them up in his hands. He huffed.
“Take these, run them under water, wash your face. Im gonna get a towel.” You mouthed a ‘thank you’, watching as he walked out the door, how his shoulder blades moved under his shirt.
You inhaled deep, running the paper under the water, softly rubbing it over your hands and around your fingers, then to your face. The droplets of light brown blood dripping into your blouse and pants. The paper taring and leaving small splinters on your hands.
The door opens, Loki and a dish towel from the kitchen area, “this was all they had.” He muttered softly as he ran it under the tap.
“Im not fussed about towels,” you exhale a chuckle as Loki drags the rag tenderly under your eyes, picking bits of Bob out your hair with it. “Im so tired.” You whisper, barely realising you said it out loud. Loki hums a response, focused on cleaning you up.
“I did my hands already, i think i’ll shower when i get back,” you clear your throat, “i dont know though, i cant stop shaking.”
“Is there anyone to pick you up?”
“No, why?” You cocked your head to the side.
“You cant drive right now, especially after that,” he runs the rag under the water once more, “anyone you live with?”
“No, just me.”
He hums, working at the spots on your shirt,
“I’ll take you home.”
You rest your head on the wall behind you, giving him more space to work,
“You dont have to do that-“
“I want to, dont worry.”
A small smile settles on your face, “thanks, Loki.”
Red light.
You sigh lightly, hand against your head, heel of you hand on your eyeball givng you a good amount of pressure for the headache building up.
“You know,” you started “i thought you hated me for a while when i first started.” You heard him shuffle a bit, his anorak scrunching as he turned to look at you slightly, one arm resting on the window, his free hand on the wheel tapping an uncoordinated rhythm.
“Hmm?” His tapping stopped and he moved his hand up the wheel, caressing it almost. You turned to him fully, his face covered in the red of the light, droplets of rain mirroring from the windshield to his temples.
“You were always so quiet, reserved, only speaking when spoken to,” you snort out your nose quietly as you reminisced, “though id try to talk to you and id just get a hum, or youd walk away.” A small smile twisted on the corner of your lips, “i was actually quite happy to be on this case to be with you, its funny actually.” You sat on your hands, biting the inside of your cheek, looking straight forward onto the road. He sighed deeply.
“I do that.”
You chuckled, “yeah,”
“Not too long now, just go left then straight-“
“Straight down, left again, first right onto the dead end road, the apartment building at the end. Yeah i know.” His brow was furrowed, hand tightly wrapped around the wheel, tapping his thumb.
“How the fuck do you know that, Loki?” You toy, resting your head against the cool window. He purses his lips into a line,
“That office party for Christmas last year. I drove you home, you were drunk.” You shut your eyes, out of embarrassment and out of sheer tiredness,
“Fuck, i dont actually remember that,” your hand moved back around your eye, pushing the heel in deeper, trying to get rid of the blinding pain, “i stopped drinking cause of that night.”
“Oh.” He sighed, flicking the blinker on, you mouthed a quiet ‘yep’ before moving yourself forward, head now resting on the dashboard, arms hugging the back of your knees,
“One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight…” you whisper, Loki’s coat rustles again, looking down at you with furrowed brows.
“What’re you doing?”
“My mom told me to count to try and calm down, helped as a kid, might’us well try it again.” You mumbled, counting again, and again.
“Why now?”
“Maybe cause i got someone’s brain matter n’ skull stuck in my hair and shirt, David? One, two, three, four….” He scoffed lightly turning back to the road.
“Can these lights fuckin’ change.”
“We’re in a cop car, Loki, turn the damn lights on.” Moving your posture once again against the window, both heels of your hands in your sockets.
“This is my car, smartass.”
“You got them,” you make a swirling gesture with your hands, “blinkers, wee-woo-wee-woo, shit dont you? Besides, theres no one around, its 2 in the morning, run the red, Loki.” He sighed, head falling backwards slightly, you hear him mumble ‘one, two, three, four…” a small smile slides onto your lips. He moves himself to look into the back of his car, rummages about then comes back out with a small “fuck it” and hits the gas.
“Good boy.” You tease, earning a grin from Loki, slapping your knee, “Wow! Touching, we’re really getting somewhere, huh?”
“Thats enough.”
“Sorry.” You smile a cheeky grin, arm propped up against the window, cheek resting on your knuckles. The distorted face of Bob flashing around every shadow on the street, bloodied, warped. You shuffle around your seat, sitting straight, closing your eyes. The blood splattered on the wall burnt into your retina.
You squirm, turning your attention to Loki, you slide down the seat, fully body facing him, eyes on his face. Stubborn, almost. Stoic, eyes blinking rapidly. Just watching him concentrate on the road was calming, the muscles in your shoulder blades unknotted, you sighed letting your body melt.
“Can i look at you for a minute,” you whisper, “is that okay?” He double takes, looking at you, the road and back to you, more softly, his brow relaxing, his eyes softer, like his pupils dilated.
“Oh, yeah, yeah,” his hand moves to your head, stroking your hair for a second, the regaining his attention to the road, using both hands to steer.
You just breath, staring at his face.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
Your eyes look down at the fabric of Loki’s coat, you just needed distractions, you needed to talk and think about anything else. You pinch at his coat, fingers rubbing the fabric together, feeling the textures mix and listening to the sound - Loki made no objections, just letting you get on with it. After a couple seconds of punching and rubbing, a burning feeling crossed your nose, your eyes stinging.
The blood on the wall, the blood on your hands, in your hair, on the floor.
The car stops softly. Loki moving his arms off the wheel and slapping his palms on his thighs, making you move your hands.
“We’re here.” He says gently. You sigh deeply, barely moving from your curled up form.
“I’ll-uh,” he swallows, “i’ll come in with you,” you push yourself back up, back to the door, hands on your lap.
“You really dont have to-“
“But i want to,”a silence falls between the both of you, “get you situated, make sure you’re okay, standard procedure.”
You couldn’t help but smile, a chuckle leaving your lips, “Thanks Loki.”
A smile appears on his face, small yet noticeable, “m’kay, now get out.”
The two of you walk into the building, you push the door to, holding it for Loki who thanks you with a subtle nod.
“Hey, uh- when you dropped me off last Christmas did i tell you what floor i live on?”
He shakes his head slightly, “nah, i just kinda left you here,” you let out a small chuckle, slapping his arm, “nah, you uh, i helped you into your room, and i saw myself out, got you some water and Tylenol.”
“You’re too good for me, Detective.” You joke, pressing the button to the elevator.
You open the door, placing your keys in a small bowl next to it.
“Uh, just hang your coat there,” he nods and does so, you sigh scratching the back of your head, “do you want anything? Coffee? Water?”
“Im good.”
You mouth an ‘okay’ as you walk your way towards your kitchen, turning the kettle on. Loki followed, leaning against the doorframe. You sigh, your heart drops for a second, “i dont think i can drink,” you gulp down your dry mouth, “my chest feels weird, im so aware of myself.”
“Sit down,” he pulls a chair out from under your small dining table, patting it slightly, “i’ll make you a coffee.”
You sit, pulling a slight smile for a second before slumping down.
“You got decaf?”
“Second cabinet, up top.” You mumble, turning your head upwards to the ceiling, taking deep breaths.
He passes you the cup of warm coffee, you thank him quietly, holding the cup between your two hands soaking in the heat, never letting it touch your lips. He pulls out a spare chair, sitting in front of you, his arms crossed against his chest, watching until you take your first sip.
You sat, staring into space, not taking notice to the boiling drink burning hour palms.
“I shouldn’t have had that gun on me.”
“No, dont do that-“
“No, David, im serious,” your eyes meet his for a split second, his brow was furrowed and his lips tightened into a line. His jaw was so obviously clenched, “it was an interrogation room, i didnt need one.”
You slide yourself backwards in your chair, hands over your face.
“You needed that incase he hurt you.”
“C’mon Loki, there was, what? Four guys including you behind that window, i didn’t need that gun.” You moved your hands over your mouth, a lump formed in your throat, tears stung the inner corners of your eyes.
“Listen,” he prods the table with his finger, “we shouldnt talk about this, not right now, youre not in a good headspace,”
“Loki,”
“No, you gotta rest,” his eyes sunk, his hand now in a tight fist, “i’ll ask captain tomorrow if you could take the week off.”
“Absolutely not.” You chuckled at the idea, hiking yourself up your seat, resting your elbows.
“No, im not arguing right now, you gotta.” He blinked rapidly.
“I need to get my mind off it, working will help, honestly,” you gulped, you move your hands closer to his, “i know you’re stressed out, just please, i need something to do.”
The two of you stare at each other for a moment, he swiftly moves his hands onto yours, cupping them. He opens his mouth to talk, only to sigh.
“Just come by, tell me whats happening, give me some pictures or whatever.” He moves back into his chair, annoyed,
“Fuck, fine,” you smile mischievously, silently clapping your hands as Loki covers his smile. He looks down at his watch,
“It’s 4, you gotta go to sleep.” He slaps the chair arms and pulls himself up, standing in front of you holding his hand out, you just look at him. You place your back to the chair, sliding down. You huff quietly, resting your elbow on the table and holding your head in your hand, shaking your head with a hum,
“Just let me nap here,” you groan. David kneels down in front of you, his hands resting on his knees, “it’s been a long day, David.” He stands up in a small huff, looking around the room for something to do, taking small steps - until he kneels back down and starts unbuttoning your blouse, bottom to top.
“What’re you doing?” You peek out from under your hand to watch him work, his brow was furrowed in concentration.
“This,” his voice merely a whisper, “this needs to go in the wash.”
“Dang, Sir, buy me dinner first.”he slaps your face gently, in a soft joking manner. His mouth turning to a toothy grin, making you smile. He hums an ‘okay’ as he unbuttons the top, is hands brushing your neck softly, something about the contact making your stomach warm, “Up.” You oblige with a groan, he slips the shirt off your arms leaving you in your bra and trousers. You couldnt care less after the day you had - you possibly wont even remember.
David carefully folds the blouse, placing it on his chair. “C’mon,” his fingers wag in a ‘c’mere’ motion, “bedtime.”
You slap the handles of your chair in a sulk, exhaling dramatically. “D’you want help?” David asks gently, placing a hand on your shoulder. He gives it a small squeeze before letting it drop to your bicep. You give him a weak smile.
“I dont think i wanna be alone tonight.” Your voice breaks. You can feel the lump form in your throat, your nose tingled and your eyes burn. You inhale sharply, trying to keep your emotions intact, you’re a detective, damn it, buck up.
“Hey, its okay,” he places his free hand upon your cheek, his thumb stroking your cheek tenderly, “c,mon, we gotta get you up.” He walks behind you, arm now placed upon your back, guiding you. You oblige, following his touch upstairs, directing the way to your bedroom.
You flump down on the edge of your bed, legs crossed, arms covering your chest. Loki stood in front of you, his large frame taking up your entire sight.
He taps his fingers rhythmically thinking of the next move. He notions to the closet to his left, “can i?”
You hum a small approval, letting yourself flop down your bed in a large bone cracking stretch. Fuck you’re tired.
“Up you get,” David says, peering above you with some pjs, “i’ll leave.”
“You literally took my shirt off, Loki, it’s fine.” You grab the clothes out his hands. Still laying you pull your shirt on and start unbuttoning your pants, kicking them off and throwing them to the corner of your room, bow pulling the pjs up with a huff.
“M’kay,” you sit up, slapping your thighs, Loki sits next to you, hands gripping his thighs, “thanks.”
“Dont mention it.” His face was stoic, just a small glint in his eye. You sit, taking in his authority and talent for loyalty, picking at your shirt. You sigh, sulking your body, letting your back arch.
“Can you stay,” you whisper, your eyes dark with exhaustion. he places a hand on your shoulder again, stroking softly. you gulp, “just until i sleep or something, i- its-“
“I’ll stay,” he squeezes your shoulder, saying ‘i got you’. You smile drowsily, humming quietly, “c’mon get in.” He stands up, folding out a corner from your duvet, clicking his hands to get you moving. You roll your eyes as you shuffle yourself into the coziness of your comforter, finally letting your body rest and hopefully your mind. Loki stands next to you, arms crossed, looking upon you like some kind of project he’s intimately connected to and proud of.
You sit up, taking in more duvet into your grip, letting your hands stay within the warmth.
“Can i ask you some questions?” He sits in front of you, the bed dipping slightly, he places a hand on your leg, clothed from the duvet. He pursed his lips and cocked his head,
“Yeah, yeah.” His voice soft, you smiled, biting the inside of your cheek as you thought of a question, clicking your tongue to the roof of your mouth.
“State your name and age.” You placed your hands on your lap, clasping them together to try and look professional. Loki smirked and huffed a small chuckle,
“David Loki-“
“Your full name,” you raised a brow and cocked your head. Loki rolls his eyes softly,
“David Wayne Loki,” he inhales “and I’m thirty-three.” His posture relaxes, his back arching slightly. His eyes sparkled as he looked at you. He’s comfortable.
“Wayne, hm, suits you,” he smiles and stretches his arms out, cracking.
“Now, whens your birthday Mr. David Wayne Loki.” He bites the inside of his cheek, a tad agitated, you smile, “just for next time, so i can, y’know, wish you a happy birthday.”
He looks away for a second, “November Twen’y-first.” Your eyes sunk, smile lost,
“Fuck, I missed it?” His lips tightened into a line, nodding, his arms going up in a shrug. You tutted softly, “im so sorry, happy late birthday.”
“Hey, you didnt know.” He shuffles the smallest bit closer to you, and you cross your legs now testing your elbow on your knee and chin on your palm, humming as you think of a new question.
“So, youre just interviewing me.” He questions as be cocks his eyebrow, you exhale sitting straight,
“It helps me get my mind off it, im sorry.”
“Dont be, do whatever you can.” He leans back onto your bed, supporting himself with his elbows, he rubs his eyes and sighs“whats the next question?”
“Why did you get into this job?” You tilt your head sideways. He sighs, letting his head fall backwards. He rubs his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose, “dont’cha think you should get to sleep.”
You purse your lips, your head falls back into your pillow, you turn to look at your clock, “its like five, it’s practically time to get to the precinct.”
“Nah, im not goin’ in.”
You lift yourself upward once again, eyebrow cocked, “wha’dyou mean?”
“I’m gonna interview the Dover’s, get s’more information.” He picks at the skin of his fingers, “Can I come with you?” You place your hand on his forearm, squeezing like he does, hoping to join him.
“Fuck no,” he chuckles lightly, “sleep. I dunno how many times i gotta ask before you pass out from exhaustion.” He pokes your head, you fall back dramatically with a murmur, “i need to work, i feel pathetic,” you whine, rubbing your eyes. David palms the fabric over your leg, rubbing softly with a snicker, “please bring me shit to do.”
“Yeah, yeah, i’ll drop by at five-ish with something,” he squeezes your calf, “i’m not gonna leave til you sleep.”
You smile, flicking his knee, “go fuck yourself, Wayne Loki,” you slide to your side, hiking the blanket over your shoulder. You sigh, watching Loki stand in front of you. He strokes your hair out of your face, tucking strands behind your ear, “see you later.” You whisper.
“G’night.”