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Madame Ambrosia Costella Constella Celestia Ludenberg was blaspheming against the true god, Dracolich the Dragon Lich. She clutched her upside-down crucifix and chanted menacingly. Dracolich was very chunky and they didn’t walk - they rolled everywhere, because they were ball-shaped; people would call them a ball and they didn’t like that, because they were a ball, and balls are oppressed in this society - it is very sad. This oppression was, of course, the fault of Madame Ambrosia Costella Constella Celestia Ludenberg III as part of her revenge against dracolich she set society such that it would forever discriminate against ball people. She could do this as she was a noble.
Dracolich rolled sadly down the only street he could be seen in without having pointy rocks thrown at him: the mud market, where the mud merchants had a begrudging respect for him. They only really respected him, of course, because he could incinerate them all, being bot a dragon and a lich at the same time.
She went bouncy, then she went bubble, then she went wobble and felled into a pobble. It was only then that she - or he - because she had both penis and balls - laid eyes upon Jeffret. Jeffret was a stunning man, he was mole-shaped and his nose had a crest of fleshy nodules that gently warbled in her direction.
“How are you”?, squelched the little mole man.
Little did Dracolich know: this is actually Madame Ambrosia Costella Constella Celestia Ludenberg III, first of her name, in disguise. She cackled to herself, softly, and Dracolich said:
“Beautiful mole-man, why are you cackling menacingly?” The shrouded mage felt themself blush as it appeared they were catching feelings for this delightful bogart of a ball boglin and Dracolich caressed the frondly flesh-nodes on the tip of their fake snout and said: “I am love you. Mwah.”
Dracolich felt that Jeffert, who unknown to Dracolich the Dragon-lich, was actually Madame Ambrosia Costella Constella Celestia Ludenberg III, first of her name last heir of a noble house, looked absolutely delicious; very tasty, probably good with salt - and so set out to find salt.
The kindly old mud-merchant that occasionally tossed his scraps out into the street for Dracolich to eat was salting his pikelets, and so Dracolich asked if she could have some - he answered:
Dracolich opened her twisted maw, bridges of saliva bridged the gap between the two of her mouth frondly bits, and she opened her tongue and placed the pikelet on it. And then she ated it. And then she was like “MMM, AHHH, MMM”, and then she went crazy for the pikelet, and then she kissed the man. And it was unknown which man because she kissed all of the men.
Of course, as she kissed those men and her maddened hunger for pikelets, she did not stop thinking about pikelets, and a few of them ended up with their whole heads bitten off, amongst them : Jeffret. And so racism against ball-shaped dragon liches who bounce down the street ended all at once as Madame Ambrosia Costella Constella Celestia Ludenberg III, first of her name last heir of a noble house, true heir to the throne of England, died.
In her absence, Dracolich the Dragon-lich was able to roll about freely, eating men who reminded him of pikelets and burning buildings with their stanky breath, stealing jewelry, and other such things, in a reign of terror that lasted centuries. And so, dear children, I invite you to consider: is it better to have a free world, or a safe one where women like Madame Ambrosia Costella Constella Celestia Ludenberg III, first of her name last heir of a noble house, true heir to the throne of England, chief moderator of the Love Nikki Dressup game series discord server, exist?
It was only then that she started eating a billion pikelets, and she ate all of them - and when I say all of them, I mean all of them. And she stole pikelets even from small little men. And she got so big that she rolled over the queen of England and the queen of England died, and this is why the queen of England is died.