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Valentines dayChapter one card:Misha has always had a plan, he was goanna film the guys in the green room without them knowing- god the fans were going love this. This would be perfect he walks into the room and can’t believe what he seeing, he sees all the guys acting like 12 year old making their crush a valentines card, but somehow he couldn’t help smile. “hey guys what’s up? That was a great panel”The was a few murmured thanks from that comment from Misha. Then something happened that Misha would never have called Jensen finishes his card and says:“here you go buddy” in a sweet sincere voice. Misha looked up at him was he playing a joke on him? But when looking into those deep blue eyes he could see Jensen was being serious. “aww that’s so sweet” Misha said back to him.“Are you filming this?” Jensen asked slightly offended as if the camera was somehow invading some personal moment.“no, no of course not” Misha said with a smirk on his face. He actually had to bite the inside of his check to stop himself from laughing – just like he knew his kids did when they were trying to pretend they were asleep just so Misha would carry them.He continued talking to the guys for a bit which didn’t end up too well as Jensen had poured glitter all over Rich’s card and oh god guys why were they arguing on camera- not that they knew this of course. Jensen disappeared to go and prepare for their photo ops together in about 30mins. Jared of course then walked in realising he had missed out on some of the fun. Misha quickly finished up the video before another argument started oh the fans were going to love him for this one. He sat back down with the guys, quickly posting the video. Misha though couldn’t concentrate on what anyone was saying he was too caught up in his own thoughts. What was up with Jensen at the moment Misha couldn’t work it out. He had been giving him all these mixed signals the last couple of weeks. It was driving Misha insane he was sure Jensen knows how he feels about him it’s not like he’s kept it a secret that he finds the guy insanely attractive or that he just gets lost in those green eyes. But for fucks sake a Valentines card; even though he knew it was based off their campaign they were doing together hence the quote: “love yourself first”. But how could Misha just ignore the fact they he gave this card to him and just to him. And maybe if it had just been this one thing he would have just dismissed it like he does every time knowing that its just a sign of their close relationship. But over the last three weeks there was several things that had changed in their relationship it was the lingering touches and the fact they were spending more time together in whomever’s trailer was nearest, of course Jared was there too but still Misha felt really privileged to be really in the group. Stop it Misha thought this wasn’t anything Jensen hadn’t done a million times with him or Jared, I’m just over thinking things. Of course nothing would happen with him and Jensen and why would it they both have families and Jensen would never be interested in a guy let alone him.“Misha” Jared said with a hand resting on his arm. It startled him out of his thoughts. “don’t you have to be at the photo ops in 10?” It was only at this moment he realised that everyone was looking at him, he blushed it was hard not to feel like everyone had known exactly what he had been thinking about only moments ago.“ummm yes shit I do, catch you guys later” Misha stuttered“don’t have too much fun with Jensen” Jared said with a smirk and of course added a wink at the end. Misha just eye rolled and got up to leave.“Yes please don’t he ruined my card!” Rich said in a winey voice.“don’t you worry rich I won’t ahah” Misha laughed as he left the room.
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Chapter two photo ops:Misha was escorted to the photo ops room where he found Jensen there waiting for him.“Hey, man where you been we are about to start?” “Sorry but Rich just wouldn’t stop bitching about you ruining his card” Misha’s mouth lifted into a smirk know that he just blamed Jensen for him being late. “he should really grow a pair what is he twelve or something?” Jensen replied laughing.“Misha, Jensen we are ready for you”“Lets get this show on the road” Jensen said placing a arm over Misha’s shoulder and pulling him forward into the room. So they have a lot of hug requests which is nothing unusual they usually have these sort of things. Not that Misha is noticing how Jensen’s arms are lingering on his longer than they needed to be. They something different does happen this girl comes over to them and asks if Jensen can pic Misha up. “he’s too heavy” Jensen jokes laughing “Yer no way he can do that!” Misha interjects know Jensen wouldn’t do that not that he probably couldn’t its just not who he is a Misha respects that. “You wanna bet” And with that Jensen pulled Misha off his feet and was carrying him bridal style. In the moment Misha was so surprised he let out a small yelp then before he knew what was happening he was taking up into the arms of his best friend. On instinct Misha put his arms around Jensen’s neck and they both just stayed there for a minuet looking into each others eyes. Misha always thought that you could get lost in peoples eyes, it was like that with Vicki’s, and when he saw her he knew she was the one he would never look at anyone else that way, but that was before he met Jensen then his whole world seemed to be turned upside down. He thought Jensen was going to be one of those big headed people but he wasn’t at all he is one of the nicest people Misha knows and that makes it even harder. They took the photo and then Jensen put Misha down all too soon for his liking, but no one could take that moment away from him but he was still confused why Jensen did it in the first place, he could have just laughed it out and said no like normal what has changed? Misha made a mental note to ask after the photo ops. “And this is the last one so make it a good one” the photographer said. And just like that it was over and something started to bubble in Misha’s stomach. Nerves? Couldn’t be he had many heart to heart convos with his co-start throughout the years and he really did want to know what was going on. And with a click of a camera it was all over, Misha was just talking to the fan who had the last photo ops and he turned around with the intent of having a poignant conversation with Jensen, he was gone. Just leaving him standing there wondering what they hell he was supposed to do now.Jensen:Jensen saw that Misha was going to talk to the fan for a while thank god he thought as he slipped out of the room and headed up towards his hotel room, he knew it wasn’t fair what he was doing to Misha. But he knew Misha would have questions, ones that he didn’t have the answers to. He had been acting differently around Misha but he couldn’t help himself it wasn’t his fault that he had started to see things in Misha that he didn’t before like his cute messy hair or those pink lip and of course those eyes… Stop thinking like that Jensen Misha is your best friend and nothing more. Jensen thought to himself as he paced in his room.Misha:Misha decided that he himself would go up to his own room as his panel wasn’t until the afternoon but when in the lift he decided to take a different course of action. He was going to confront Jensen he couldn’t stand all these mixed signals and it was driving him insane. He stopped just outside Jensen’s door was he really going to do this? What if it was just friendly actions? What if he meant nothing by it at all? Misha quickly knocked on the door before he could think any more about it. “Coming” Misha heard Jensen shout from the other room. Jensen then opens the door and as soon as he realises that its Misha his eyes widen. He paused for a moment before saying:“Mish, hey man come in” Jensen said walking in“thanks Jackles” Misha replies in his usual witty manner. Jensen smirked he loved how comfortable they were around each but I guess that’s what happens when you spend 8 years working with someone. Misha walks past him and Jensen closes the door and turns around to go back and talk to Misha, who was currently sitting on Jensen’s bed. “Jensen, we need to talk”“Sure Misha go ahead” Jensen said trying to avoid looking at Misha and not acknowledge the fact he knew where this was going. “Is everything ok with you? With us?” That last part was almost a whisper out of Misha’s mouth.“Yer Mish, why would you think otherwise?” Jensen said coming over to Misha and placing his hand on his shoulder to reassure him, of course nothing to do with the fat that at the moment Jensen seemed to try to find any opportunity to touch Misha. Misha took a moment to think about that, because you have been doing things this year which you wouldn’t have done before hand, I want you so much and you aren’t making this easy on me, Is what Misha wanted to say but of course he wouldn’t, he couldn’t do that to his best friend. So instead he decided on “Oh no reason just you’ve been acting a bit different is all” At this Jensen turned his head, he couldn’t look Misha in the eyes, had he already ruined their friendship he would explain to Misha that none of this was meant in a suggestive way. “Um… oh I’m sorry Mish I didn’t think I was” Jensen mumbled out turning away from him. Misha could sense the obvious discomfort now it was his turn to show Jensen he cared. “I mean I’m not saying I don’t like I’m just saying its…. Different” Jensen refused to turn around he couldn’t face him now. “Misha I think you should leave; I’ll see you later ok at the karaoke party. “Jensen said in a monotone voice.“Ok Jen see you later” Misha said in a very unsure tone. Once outside he let out a deep breath which he didn’t know he had been holding, Jensen was acting so weird around him, he couldn’t help but think maybe it was because he felt the same way as Misha, stop it Misha thought I cant think like that all I will end up with is a broken heart.
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Misha changed into a clean shirt and headed down to the party he was hoping he wouldn’t bumb into Jensen it was too awkward now plus the fact Misha wasn’t sure he could hold himself back around Jensen when he was acting like this. He closed his eyes imagining what it would be like to kiss Jensen, to place his lips on those pink plump ones. Just as the thought entered his head the elevator pinged, he stepped out and took a deep breath he could do this it was only a couple of hours. Misha entered the green room bussing he knew that there would always be alcohol around and god did he need some after the day he has had. He scanned the room looking for his friends. He saw Matt, Rich and Rob and the Band Just about to go onto stage. Osric was doing god knows what in the corner with Gil. Briana and Kim were seating opposite each other laughing as per usual, then his eyes caught on the boys Jensen had his back to him whilst talking to Jared who had a drink in his hand. Jared caught eye contact with him, damn he thought, Jared being Jared waved him over and what could he do but go Jared was so hard to resist especially when he did the puppy dog thing.“MISHA!!!” Jared said jumping up and putting his arms around him like it wasn’t only 2 hours ago he had seen him. Jared let go of him, to get a chair for him. “Hey Misha” Jensen said smiling at him but made no attempt to move off his chair. And Misha? Jensen never called him that like ever. Now he was worried had he done something to offend Jensen before he had too much time to think Jared was back with a chair. Misha sat down after thanking Jared, then they all talked about their days and various panels. A hour passed and Misha was on his fifth beer nothing to do with fact that Jensen had barley spoken to him all night. Conversation had gone from him and Jared to J2 talking never him and Jensen. “I think it is time to get someone up here, he is a very close friend and new to this convention thing”“That’s my que,” Jensen said heading for the stage glancing at both Jared and Misha as he left. As soon as Jensen had left he was cornered by Jared.“Ok so what is up with you and Jensen at the moment? You two have barley talked all evening” Jared pursed his lips waiting for a response. “Nothing Jared, don’t worry I’m sure we will be fine tomorrow” Misha replied even though he knew it wasn’t true. “ok, well I’m going round the back to watch Jensen sing u coming?”“Yer sure why not” Misha replied. As they walked Misha wondered if this would a good idea he could never resist a guy who could sing and this was Jensen after all. They sneaked into the room little grins on their faces. The song had just started. Then Jensen starts to sing its incredible. Misha can’t believe what he is hearing. Suddenly he wasn’t mad a Jensen anymore how could he be when he sings like this. Tied to the whipping post Jensen sings. Misha just sits their mesmerised by this impossible man who seemed to be talented in everything he did. The song came to a close and the crown leapt up in cheer and so did Jared and Misha. “He’s not bad right?” Jared said in a joking tone knocking Misha on the shoulder “Yer…. Not bad” Misha said in a whispered voice which caused Jared to look at him. Jared was not blind he knew there was something between Misha and Jensen even if those two idiots hadn’t figured it out yet. They were always staring at each other when the other wasn’t looking. It was sickening why hadn’t they just kissed yet. “Lets go back to the green to room to congratulate him” Jared said placing his arm around Misha’s shoulder practically dragging him. When back in the green room Jared ran over to Jensen and pulled him into a hug patting him on the back twice saying how good he was up there. Misha standing just behind the two of them finally snapping out of his mesmerised state. He wrapped his arms around Jensen. “You were really good up there” Misha whispered into Jensen’s ear. Misha heard Jensen’s breath hitch. Not sure what to make of it Jensen pulls back but doesn’t meet Misha eye’s. Jared walks back over with yet another round of beer’s in his hand both Jensen and Misha gratefully accept. And then things go back to the way they were before Jensen went on stage – Misha and Jensen not talking. Not only that Jensen wouldn’t even acknowledge Misha existence. After the 10th round the party was finishing and Jared suggested they hit a bar. They all agreed they also invited rob and rich who both said they would love to. So here they were at a bar doing fucking shots, and now the room really was spinning. None of them could stand up straight. Jared had both is huge arms around Rich and Rob and were leaving the bar to get some much needed fresh air, while Jensen and Misha were in charge of getting some water and paying the bill – of course it was Jared’s idea that they do it together. In his current state Misha’s eyes never left Jensen’s damn did he love that man and right now he was so close to telling him. Jensen too was having a hard time controlling himself he knew there was lots of tension right now but he really wanted to kiss Misha he flicked his eyes to Misha’s lips god what would he give to taste those pink warm lips. “Here you go” the waiter says to them both. “I’m glad you have had a good night.” Glancing at both of them and winking. What was that about Jensen thought but then he turned towards Misha who was already staring at him with those big blue eyes. “Mishhhh,” Jensen managed to mumble out “lets pay and go back to the hotel, I don’t think I can feel my feet”“ahah me too” Misha said taking a step closer towards him so their arms were touching. So they payed and collected the bottles of water they bought for them and their colleagues. They both turned away from the bar and headed towards the door, but they didn’t make it far until Misha was almost on the floor. Jensen reached forward and grabbed his hips to stop him from falling. Jensen helped him back to full standing and suddenly they were flush against each other looking into each other’s eyes. Misha’s heart was racing it would be so easy just to tilt his head upwards and kiss Jensen on the lips. And then he did exactly that he didn’t know when he thought he would actually go through with it but it just kind of happened. This is why getting drunk when Jensen was around was a bad idea. At first Jensen was shocked by what was going on then he realised what was going on Misha was kissing him. Misha! He couldn’t believe it all those times he had dreamt of this moment and now it was actually happening. Jensen opened up his mouth to grant Misha access and Misha moaned, and oh God that went straight to Jensen’s groin. It was enough to make Jensen aware that they were in a public place and he’s NOT GAY. Plus he’s fucking married. What was he thinking? He pushed Misha away. Misha felt like crying the best moment of his life had just been turned into the worst. The pain was surely conveyed on his face of course Jensen didn’t feel the same way it was just a drunk mistake. “Misha… I” Jensen tried to start. “I can’t” Jensen grabbed the water out of Misha hands and stormed off out of the bar. Misha was left there knowing he had just ruined the best relationship of his entire life. Luckily for him Jared stumbled back in the bar placing an arm over his shoulder and saying that they were getting a taxi together back to the hotel. Jared asked if there was something wrong several times in the taxi each time he just avoided the question it was not the time to poor his heart out especially as Jared was Jensen’s best friend who would surely come to hate him too. This was going to be the longest and worst week of his life is Misha’s last thought before he collapsed onto his bed.
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It was Tuesday when Misha was needed on set, that meant he had one day to figure out what he was going to do about this situation. What could he do? Jensen clearly regretted the kiss which to say the least saddened Misha. It was hard enough to have to work will the guy before when he would be pinning over his best friend now it was going to be ten time worse. He had actually kissed Jensen and now it was time to deal with the outcome, but if there was one think Misha was sure of is that it wasn’t going to be good. Jensen pushed him away for crying out loud. Tuesday came around way too quick for Misha’s liking… As Misha dragged himself out of bed in the morning groaning he had no idea what to expect from Jensen, he knew the most likely situation was that Jensen would ignore him and pretend as though nothing had happened but a very small part of him hoped that Jensen would wrap him in his arms apologise and kiss him like no one had before. But even Misha knew that was NEVER going to happen. Jensen woke up alarm buzzing sun wasn’t up yet it was too early for that, darn Misha was on set today he thought, Jensen had been so shocked by the kiss that he had pushed Misha away and ran off like a scared puppy. And it had been so amazing Jensen thought… no I cant think like that I have a wife and a kid, plus the fact I’m not Gay I mean sure I find some men attractive but to be with in that way? Never Jensen thought. When Misha got to set he made a mental note to stay out of Jensen’s way when he saw him he would just turn and walk in the other direction; that was the plan. Yet when he saw Jensen he couldn’t bring himself to do it he just sort of stared. Jared came bounding over saying some shit about him having ‘vacation’ time. Yeah otherwise known as the time he spent thinking about Jensen. Jensen just stood behind Jared just looking at the other two having a conversation. Misha glanced toward Jensen and Jensen immediately looked down at his feet. ‘Hey Jen’ Misha said, Jensen mumbled something like hi and then bolted. Of course Misha though, he knew that was going to happen that Jensen would ignore him, but then why did it hurt so much? Misha literally felt his heart drop in that moment. ‘What’s that all about Misha?’ Jared asked with a raised eye brow. ‘I ummm nothing don’t worry Jared’ Misha replied with only a slight stutter. ‘Okay… are you sure it’s nothing?’ Jared said looking down trying to see why Misha was avoiding his eyes.‘Yes I’m sure’ Misha replies with a small smile. Just when Jared was going to give the speech about Misha being able to confide in him there was someone shouting his name.‘JARED! There you are, I’ve been searching all over for you, your needed on set’ said the PA. ‘Okay I’ll be right there’ Jared replied. ‘Mish, I’m sorry I have to go but we can talk later’. Jared said as he turned around ‘No really don’t worry Jared everything is fine’ Misha almost shouted at him, damn those moose legs could travel fast. ‘Fine my ass’ Jared shouted as he turned out of sight. Misha realised that he needed to be more convincing to the rest of the crew if he wanted to fool them. He didn’t want to tell everyone about this, he couldn’t it would break him to have to tell everyone that the man he loves doesn’t love him back… even if it sometimes felt like he might feel the same. Misha wandered back to his trailer head down, he really needed to take his mind off all this, he couldn’t take it any longer. On arrival at his trailer he decided he would give Viki a call, of course Vicki had known for ages that Misha harboured a huge crush for his co-star, hell he took the job because Jensen was so damn attractive. Vicki, had said from the start that if Misha got a chance he should take it, and he did well at least he tried to. He called her number:‘Hey honey, how you doing?’ god it felt so good to hear her voice, knowing full well that she would understand. ‘Not good, Jensen ignored me just like I said he would. I… ummm…. I didn’t expect it to hurt this much’ Misha’s voice broke on that last part bending his head over so that it was in his hands. ‘Ohhh baby, I’m so sorry’‘it’s okay, no really it is. I just wished it had never happened. I mean before the pull was strong but now…’‘Misha I’m sure that he is just feeling insecure about it all right now I’m sure he will come around’ ‘Vicki! He won’t even look at me and I have a scene with him this afternoon, I don’t, I don’t know how to get through it’ ‘Mish you need to calm down, all will be fine, look Jensen is a complicated man no one can deny that, he will come around you’ll see, and as for the scene this afternoon he will just have to suck it up it was his actions just as much as yours! He clearly feels something too he just can’t admit it yet, maybe not even to himself, just give him time.’ ‘How is it I’m so lucky?’‘What do you mean?’‘To end up with you?’‘Aww honey’‘No Vicki, I mean it you always know the right thing to say. I don’t know what I would do without you’‘Crash and burn obviously’ Vicki replied causing a stream of laugher on both ends of the line. ‘thank you Vicks’ ‘Your welcome Mish’ ‘love you’ ‘love you too’ and with that the line went dead. The rest of the morning was spent in hair and make-up they were doing a fight scene today where there was going to be blood; just what I needed Misha thought. It wasn’t until one that both Misha and Jensen were called to set. When Misha was brought by his PA Jensen was already there. They stood there for a minute not saying anything to each other until the PA left their side. ‘Umm Jensen?’‘Yeah’ he replied still looking down voice really low ‘I just wanted to sa’Misha was interrupted by the director saying they were ready for them.‘Lets just get this over with’ Jensen said knocking Misha with his shoulder. And if he could have Misha would have cried right then everything they had that friendship it was all gone, and it was all his fault who in his right mind falls in love with a co-star?Misha and Jensen played out the scene it wasn’t anything major just Dean and Cas taking out some demons… the usual. But it was different, in between takes there was no messing around, not even talking. Even some members of the crew were starting to notice that something wasn’t right. Once they wrapped up Misha thought that he would try to speak to Jensen again but before he could even try Jensen had disappeared. This was horrible why wouldn’t Jensen just let him apologise and then they could go back to how things were. Was a kiss so unforgivable, okay he knew Jensen loved Daneel but Misha could have been certain that a kiss were the way things were heading for them but maybe not.God Misha thought this is going to make my job hell. And on Wednesday his suspicions were confirmed. It was just as bad as yesterday apart from the fact that Jared wasn’t on set and neither was Mark so things were even worse, and every time Misha would try to talk to Jensen he would make an excuse why he needed to leave or that he had somewhere to be. Misha hated himself for all of it, he hated seeing Jensen in such a state and he hates that he was the cause. This continued for the rest of the week. It was so good that on Friday evening he got to fly home to his lovely wife. His wife who loved him so much and told him that everything was going to be okay. Misha wasn’t so sure.