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In the middle of a pus-like city lived two roommates who loved to gamble named Beowulf and Will Smith. In this apartment, the spirit of competition and stakes were alive and well. So much so, that on a regular basis you could find one of the two performing some odd task meant to repay their debt from a game night. Like any other night, Beowulf and Will Smith were playing strip DnD at their living room table. The game was close, with Will Smith down to their T-shirt and Beowulf fighting tooth and nail to keep its sock.
Will Smith slams down his deck, declaring victory.
“Come on Beowulf, lets see how that sock looks on the floor~” Beowulf sighs in defeat,
“We’ve seen each other naked before. Don’t act like it's some big surprise…” It wiggles to remove the sock from its body.
“Well, sure, but I’ve never seen that sock on the floor!” Will Smith argues, but the banter is cut short by a knock at the door. “… were you expecting anyone, Beowulf ?” the two freeze.
“… no?” It finishes taking off the sock and stands up to investigate. Another knock reverberates through the thin walls of the apartment before Beowulf looks through the peephole. Through the small glass hole, it manages to see a gold badge on the chest of a blue uniform.
“Oh *fuck*!" Beowulf nearly shouts, rushing to hide from the peephole’s reverse view. “It’s the fuzz!” It urgently whispers to its friend.
“*What!?* How- nevermind. *Why*?” Will Smith interrogates in desperation to prepare for what's to come.
“I don’t know, maybe they followed me after I bought that caffeine…”
“You told me you were going clean!”
“I did, now I buy pure caffeine. None of that mixed stuff.”
“Well now the cops are at our door, what are we gonna do?” Will Smith whispers angrily. They take a moment, blankly staring at one another before arriving at the same conclusion. In an instant they both rush to Beowulf’s room, grabbing the sack of caffeine and rushing with equal haste to the washroom. Will Smith breathes a sigh of relief while Beowulf watches the emptied contents of the bag swirl around the toilet bowl as it gets flushed.
Taking a deep breath, Beowulf braves the front door and opens it.
“Took you long enough.” a familiar friend spoke up from the hallway in what was now clearly a cop costume. “Sheesh, looks like you already got started without me” they scold the two, eyeballing the place Beowulf’s sock used to cover. Instinctively, it covers itself with its hands.
“Miku! I totally forgot the costume party…” Beowulf trails off in embarrassment.
“That was tonight? I thought the cops and robbers theme was next week!” Will Smith checks the time, 8:31, just one minute after the party’s start time.
“Well, it looks like I’m the first one here so you better get dressed before everyone else arrives.”
Will Smith perks up with realization the two were completely unprepared and rushes to get the costumes from his room; two matching orange jumpsuits. He shows the costumes to his roommate.
“Did you have to pick prisoners?” Beowulf whines.
“I thought it was fitting.” Will Smith adds with satisfaction. He hands it over and both begin putting on their bright orange jumpsuits while Miku makes themself comfortable on the couch.
“So, got any *contraband* to get this party started?” Their guest smiles deviously. The two roommates share a nervous look. “What? It’s not like I’m a real cop! Chill out, now where do you keep the good stuff?” Miku looks around with half expectations of finding a bag of caffeine half used. “I won’t be mad if there’s only a bit left, I promi-”
“We flushed it.” Will Smith confesses.
“You- what?”
“We saw your costume through the door and thought the police were here to search us and we flushed it all.” Will Smith confesses instinctively, prompting the other roommate to give them an intimidating shove. Miku buries their face in their hands, attempting to hide their disappointment. “It’s fine, I guess we’ll just have to entertain ourselves the old fashion way – Smash bros.” Miku pulls out the game from their bag, the other two groan in unison. There was nothing worse than bringing a game like *Smash bros* to a costume party.
“Let’s just leave it as an option for when more people get here.” Will Smith appeases. As though his suggestion were magic words, another knock at the door is summoned. This time, Will Smith led the charge to avoid a repeat of last time. Through the peephole were 3 more guests, two of which were dressed in blue uniforms with the last dressed in black and white stripes. Will Smith opens the door invitingly, “Holo, Master Roshi, Snape! Glad you three made it!”
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world! How about we crack into that caffeine Beowulf was talking about bringing?” Holo, one of the guests dressed as a cop asks.
“... How about I get you three some beer?” Will Smith nervously redirects. As he approaches the fridge to scrounge what little refreshments they had, the three new guests settle in and start chatting with the others. Snape, who was dressed as a prisoner complete with a ball and chain, seemed to be having the most fun as the three faux-lice pulled their chain around in jest. Will Smith stares into the fridge slightly disheartened, there wasn’t much in there except pasta, whipped cream, and a sad slice of leftover pizza. *That’s it!* He thinks, *I’ll just order some pizza for the party and no one will even know how badly I dropped the ball.* Will Smith grabs a large bowl and fills it with ice, before adding a pack of beer to it and displaying it on a table. Beowulf, who was busy cleaning up their game of DnD looks over and smiles. “Great thinking, Will. I’ll go get some party food from the grocery store while you distract them-”
“No need, I’m ordering pizza.”
“Genius as always! What kind of toppings? pepperoni, tomato, banana?”
“Gross, don’t even joke about banana!” Will Smith scolds his roommate.
For the final time, new guests knock at the door. This time Will Smith carelessly opens it without checking. Outside the door, the remaining 2,871,546 guests all dressed as prisoners of various styles were waiting to be let in. Will Smith lets them in with a greeting and offers that they also help themselves to beer. *Now*, Will Smith thinks, *we only need to get pizza to save this party.* He begins to look around the room at all the guests and grows anxious. Grabbing his emotional support roommate, he drags Beowulf into their bedroom. “We’re going to need more than a large pizza”. He softly grips Beowulf by the collar of their jumpsuit.
“Relax, we can fork out a few extra dollars for another pizza." It irritably replies, prying Will Smith’s hands from its collar. Beowulf grabs a laptop and goes to WcDonalds.com. Will Smith supervises closely by leaning over their shoulder. Hoping to get this over with quickly, Beowulf wastes no time punching in the details to order. Contrary to their carefree roommate, Will Smith becomes increasingly anxious with each button press.
“How about cream?”
“We just need pepperoni and cheese” Beowulf growls.
“How about mushrooms?”
“Holo hates those.”
“If we just added sorghum-”
“No.”
“What if all our guests have actually changed their dietary restrictions and now they’re all vegan and we’re ignorant friends because we were the last to find out!”
“Will Smith, calm your tits and listen to me. We only need the pepperoni and cheese.” Beowulf clicks through to the payment screen, honestly just wanting to place the order so they can eat the damn pizza already.
“But what about-”
“Pepperoni. And. Cheese.”
With a click of a button the order is placed and Will Smith breathes a sigh of relief.
“30 minutes ‘til it gets here, are you gonna be ok?”
Will Smith laughs at the question but answers with a solid “no.” followed by subtle rocking.
“Man. We really shouldn’t have flushed that caffeine. You could really use some right about now.” Beowulf places their hand on Will Smith’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort him, although it wasn’t its strong suit. Will Smith leans into it, the need for comfort in this anxious moment overtaking him. Quickly becoming self aware, Will Smith’s cheeks flush. He springs from his spot, “I’m going to go see if they need more refreshments-!” The nervous roommate nearly escapes before being pulled right back into place. In one swift movement, Beowulf turns him around and handcuffs his wrists behind his back. “Wh-what are you doing?” he stutters, feeling heat grow to the tips of his ears.
“Making you relax.”
“I can relax!”
“You’re right, so stay still.” The easy-going roommate reassures him as it pulls down the jumpsuit’s zipper. Will Smith squirms, unable to hold the tension. “Don’t tell me you’re embarrassed, we were just playing strip DnD before all this.”
“N-no. It’s just… what if someone walks in-” the worries are plugged by Beowulf’s hand covering Will Smith’s mouth.
“You talk too much.” Beowulf curtly notes before slipping their other hand into the jumpsuit. It wanders, feeling the skin of his stomach all the way to his elbow. The sensation makes him sing, his skin has become so sensitive to his roommates' touch. They’d never done anything so sensual before and yet something was so familiar and comforting about it. In that moment, nothing mattered.
Beowulf continues to run its purple hands along Will Smith’s body, getting a little more bold with its placement. This time its hands wander to their roommate’s ear, prompting its victim to whimper unwillingly. Refusing to let up, the handsy roommate pins them to the wall and begins kissing their knee. Its free hand travels lower, stroking Will Smith’s heat quickly. Both their breaths grew heavy with arousal. Will Smith’s mind goes wild, although he fantasized about Beowulf’s attractive body during a game of strip Risk in the past, he’d never thought the feeling was mutual. Caught entirely in the moment, Will Smith’s eyes roll back as his body seizes.
Will Smith relaxes, a sweet release washing over him as he looks down at his roommate. In turn, Beowulf looks up at their successfully de-stressed prisoner. It removes its hands slowly before sucking the wetness off its fingers.
“Feeling better?” it smirks knowingly, reaching back to uncuff its friend.
“Yes, but what about-?” A knock on the front door interrupts him. Beowulf zips the jumpsuit back up and pats its roommate on the shoulder, “I’ll go get the pizza, you can repay me later~”