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Cisco Ramon had always been the heart of the team. The joker, the genius, the one who lightened the tension even when the world was ending for the hundredth time.He cracked jokes, made movie references, and grinned like he had never known pain. And no one ever questioned it. No one ever looked past the easy smiles, the snarky comebacks, the way his laughter sometimes sounded just a little too forced.Because Cisco was the happy one. The one who kept everyone else together.No one noticed the nights he spent alone in his lab, staring at his reflection in the darkened computer screens, wondering when he had started hating the person looking back at him. No one noticed the way his hands shook sometimes, the way exhaustion clung to his bones, how his eyes never quite held the same spark they used to.No one noticed the sleeves.Long sleeves in the middle of summer, jackets worn too often, hands stuffed into pockets when the fabric rode up too high.Because no one ever looked too closely.Cisco sat at his workstation, fingers hovering over the keyboard, his mind drowning in static. He should have been working—should have been analyzing some new meta threat, or tweaking some upgrade to Barry’s suit—but instead, all he could do was stare at the faint, red lines peeking from under his sleeve.His secret. His shame. His punishment.He hated himself.For not being strong enough. For never being enough. For smiling when he wanted to scream. For laughing when all he wanted to do was break apart.His breath hitched as his fingers curled into fists, pressing against his thighs to stop the trembling. He swallowed the lump in his throat, pushing it down with all the other things he never let escape.He could hear the others in the next room—Barry and Caitlin talking, Joe’s deep voice rumbling through the hallway. They were *right there*. But he couldn't reach for them. He *wouldn’t*. Because what would he even say?“Hey guys, surprise! Turns out Cisco Ramon isn’t actually as happy as you all think.”He laughed under his breath—humorless, hollow.They wouldn’t understand.They never saw him, not really. They saw the jokes, the sarcasm, the vibrant t-shirts and the pop culture references. They saw what he wanted them to see. And he *needed* them to see that version of him.Because if they saw the real him—The broken, exhausted, self-loathing him—They might not want him anymore.A sharp sting snapped him out of his spiraling thoughts, and he exhaled shakily, fingers brushing over the fresh cut hidden beneath his sleeve. It wasn’t deep. It never was. Just enough to remind himself he was still here. Still *something*.Still suffering in silence.A knock at the door startled him, and he scrambled to pull his sleeve down, shoving his hands beneath the desk.Barry peeked in, smiling. “Hey, man. You coming? We were gonna grab some food.”Cisco hesitated. The instinct was there—to say yes, to be the person they expected, to plaster on a grin and pretend everything was fine.But he was so tired.He forced a smile anyway. “Yeah, just finishing up. Go ahead, I’ll catch up.”Barry grinned. “Cool. Don’t take too long.”As soon as the door closed, the mask cracked. The smile vanished, replaced by the blank stare he only let himself have when no one was watching.He wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep this up.But as long as they believed the lie—As long as they never saw what was underneath—He could keep pretending.Because Cisco Ramon was the funny one.And no one ever worried about the funny one.
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Caitlin had always been aware of her friends' moods, but lately, something about Cisco had been weighing on her.He was *tired*.She could tell by the way his usually bright eyes looked more tired, the way his usual banter seemed forced, like he was holding back, like he was pushing himself just to keep up the appearance of his usual, energetic self.At first, she chalked it up to stress. Being on Team Flash was no easy task—saving the city, facing metahuman threats, and keeping everyone safe. It was exhausting.But as the days passed, she started noticing more subtle things.One afternoon, after a particularly grueling mission, Caitlin walked into the Cortex to find Cisco at his desk, his head tilted back in his chair, eyes closed. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days. He didn’t even notice her approach.“Cisco,” she said, her voice soft, trying to not startle him.He immediately sat up straighter, a weak smile on his face. “Oh, hey Caitlin! What’s up?”“You okay?” She asked, the concern leaking into her tone despite herself.“Yeah, just… a little tired.” He shrugged it off, giving her that familiar, half-hearted grin. “You know, the usual.”But Caitlin didn’t miss the way he rubbed his eyes, the exhaustion in his posture, or the fact that he didn’t even make a joke to lighten the mood. It wasn’t like Cisco to just… shut down.She watched him for a moment longer before nodding, but something nagged at her. The way he was fidgeting with the sleeves of his shirt. And when he stood up quickly to grab something from a nearby desk, Caitlin caught a glimpse of him rolling his sleeves down just a little too fast. Too urgently.It was a small thing.So small that she almost ignored it. But it stuck with her..It had been weeks since Caitlin first noticed the signs, and Cisco’s behavior had only worsened. The smiles were fewer, the jokes less frequent. His exhaustion had become more pronounced, his nervous energy practically radiating off him.She could see the cracks. But she didn’t press him. Not yet. She didn’t want to push him if he wasn’t ready to talk.But then, one night, everything changed.It happened after a particularly rough mission. Cisco had been almost crushed by debris, barely making it out in time. Everyone had checked in on him, made sure he was physically okay.But Caitlin had seen it in his eyes—the way his mind had not been okay.Cisco had been quiet all evening, staying back during a team meeting, barely contributing. When the others left, Caitlin stayed behind to finish up some work. As she sat down at her desk, she saw Cisco still hunched over his workstation, his hands tightly gripping the edge of the desk.Something was off. His shoulders were tense, his neck stiff. He was so *still*.Caitlin felt a sudden sense of dread. She got up, walking quietly over to him.“Cisco?” She said his name gently, her hand resting on his shoulder.He flinched, like he hadn’t realized she was there.“Sorry,” he mumbled, trying to pull away and straighten up. “I’m just… lost in thought.”“Are you sure?” she asked, her eyes narrowing as she studied him.He avoided her gaze, but she saw his hand shake just slightly as he pushed up his sleeve—*just enough* for her to notice the faint scars hidden beneath the fabric. Her heart stopped.It was just a glimpse, but it was enough.“Cisco…” Her voice wavered.His eyes widened in panic as he yanked his sleeve down quickly, a forced laugh escaping his lips. “It’s nothing, Caitlin. Really. Don’t worry about it.”But she had seen enough. She knew.Without thinking, Caitlin reached out, gently grasping his wrist. Cisco immediately stiffened, but he didn’t pull away. His breath hitched, and Caitlin’s heart broke.“Cisco, please… talk to me,” she said softly, holding his wrist firmly, but not painfully.His face twisted in shame, and he finally looked at her. "*Please,* Caitlin. You don’t want to know. It’s nothing. It’s just… just a stupid thing, okay?"Caitlin’s eyes welled with tears. She could see the pain in his eyes, and it *cut* her. “I’m your friend, Cisco. I’m not going to judge you. I’m just… I’m just worried. Please let me help.”He stood there for a long moment, his face torn between wanting to pull away and needing to let it out.His body was trembling.Caitlin froze.She should have left. Maybe. Given him space.But then she heard the sound.A quiet, broken, gasping sound—like he was trying not to cry.Her heart clenched."Don’t," she said softly.His smile twitched. "Don't what?""Don't pretend you're okay."Cisco froze. For a moment, it looked like he was going to deny it again, make some joke, deflect.Her fingers brushed the edge of his sleeve. "Cisco," she whispered.He squeezed his eyes shut. "Caitlin, please—""Please what?" She swallowed. "Pretend I don’t see it?"His breathing was shaky. "I… I didn’t want you to know."She felt tears sting her own eyes. "Why?""Because you shouldn’t have to deal with this." His voice cracked. "I’m supposed to be the funny one, Cait. I make people laugh. That’s what I do. You don’t need this. You don’t need me being—""Stop."Cisco flinched at the raw emotion in her voice."You think I don’t need you?" she said, eyes burning. "Cisco, you’re my best friend. You’ve saved my life more times than I can count. I don’t care how much you joke or how much you hide—I see you. And I care. So much."Cisco let out a shaky breath, staring down at his hands like he wanted to disappear. "I don’t know how to stop."Caitlin squeezed his wrist—not tight, just enough to ground him. "You don’t have to do this alone."He looked up at her then, eyes glassy, vulnerable. "I don’t know how to ask for help."Her voice softened. "You don’t have to. I’m here."And for the first time, Cisco didn’t argue. He didn’t deflect. He didn’t put the mask back on.Instead, he let out a breath, long and unsteady. And when Caitlin pulled him into a careful, steady hug—one arm wrapped around his back, the other hand still holding his wrist—he let himself sink into it.Not fixed. Not okay.But not alone.Not anymore.Finally, his shoulders slumped, and he exhaled a shaky breath.Cisco shook his head, trying to pull back, but she held onto him tighter. “I don’t know how to stop, Cait. I don’t know how to make it go away.”“Start by telling me,” she whispered. “Let me help you. You don’t have to carry this alone.”And for the first time in weeks, Cisco allowed himself to lean into her, his breath shaky as he let the mask slip, even just for a moment.“I’m scared,” he admitted. “I don’t know how to stop… feeling so *broken*.”Caitlin’s grip tightened around his wrist, her heart full of compassion. “You don’t have to be fixed to be worth it, Cisco. You don’t have to go through this alone. You’re not broken. You’re just… *hurt*. And we can heal together.”The words didn’t immediately take the pain away, but for the first time in so long, Cisco didn’t feel quite so empty.And Caitlin wasn’t going to leave him until he realized that he wasn’t alone.After she pulled back from the hug she gave him an asking expression and as he finally nodded she pushed back the sleeve.Faint, healing cuts. Fresh, red lines. So many. Too many.Caitlin’s chest ached.Cisco looked away, shame written all over his face. “Please don’t freak out.”She blinked back tears. “I’m not going to freak out.”She tightened her grip on his hand, grounding, firm but gentle. “But I *am* going to help you.”Cisco let out a shuddering breath, like something inside him had finally cracked. “I don’t know how.”Caitlin squeezed his hand.“That’s okay,” she whispered. “We’ll figure it out together.”And for the first time in weeks—maybe even months—Cisco didn’t feel completely alone.
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The team had just wrapped up another exhausting day. The latest threat had taken its toll—long hours, sleepless nights, and a dangerous battle had drained everyone. Even Barry could feel his body’s exhaustion, though he tried to push it down.Cisco, however, had been quiet for most of the day, his usual humor nowhere to be found. He’d kept to himself in the lab, not even cracking a smile at his usual witty remarks. Barry had noticed, but he hadn’t pressed it. They were all running on fumes.As the team gathered in the common area of STAR Labs, discussing their next move and what needed to be done, Cisco quietly excused himself.“Hey, I’m gonna stay back and work on a few things in the lab,” Cisco said, his voice a little flat. He barely met anyone’s gaze as he grabbed his bag and walked out of the room.“Alright, man. Take it easy,” Caitlin called out, but there was an edge of concern in her voice that didn’t go unnoticed.The group continued talking, but Barry’s attention wandered. He tried to focus on the conversation, but something kept nagging at him. Cisco had been distant all day, and Barry couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.After a few minutes of fidgeting, he excused himself. “I’ll go check on Cisco. I just need to ask him something.”The others barely noticed as Barry headed toward the lab.When he reached the door, he heard the sound of soft clicking and whirring machines. The lab was dim, only the glow of monitors illuminating the space. Barry pushed the door open without knocking, ready to ask Cisco about something from their earlier discussion.But then, he stopped dead in his tracks.Cisco was standing by one of the lab tables, his back to Barry. His sleeves were rolled up—far too high. Barry could see the flash of skin, and before he even had time to process what he was seeing, he saw it.Cisco’s arm was trembling as he moved a sharp object across his skin.Barry’s breath caught in his throat as he watched his friend, his hand frozen in the act. The silence in the room felt suffocating, and Barry’s heart raced. Cisco didn’t even notice him standing there, lost in his own world.The motion was deliberate, the way Cisco’s hand trembled as he cut into his arm. Barry’s mind spun—he knew something had been off for a while, but this? He never imagined it would be this.“Cisco…” Barry’s voice cracked as he stepped forward, not sure what to do but needing to interrupt.Cisco flinched, his body stiffening as he turned sharply to face Barry. His eyes were wide, filled with surprise and fear.“Barry…!” Cisco’s voice broke as he hastily dropped the object onto the table, trying to pull his sleeve down to cover his arm. But Barry had already seen enough.There was no denying it now.Barry didn’t know what to say at first. His mouth felt dry, his chest tight with a mixture of disbelief and concern. “Cisco, what the hell are you doing?”Cisco’s face flushed with embarrassment, and for a moment, he looked like he was going to shrink into himself. He didn’t speak. He just stood there, his eyes darting around as if searching for an escape.Barry took a few steps forward, his voice gentle, but full of urgency. “Cisco, look at me. You don’t have to do this. You *can* talk to me. What is going on?”Cisco opened his mouth, but no words came out. He looked like he was fighting back tears, his face contorted in a way that made Barry’s heart ache. “I… I don’t know what to say, Barry.” His voice was barely above a whisper, filled with shame.Barry could feel his heart break as he took another step closer. “You don’t have to hide this from me. You don’t have to do this alone.”Cisco’s breath hitched, and he finally let his sleeve fall, revealing the ugly, raw marks on his skin. Fresh ones, bleeding slightly, still searing with pain. “I don’t know how to make it stop, Barry,” Cisco whispered, his voice broken. “Everything… it’s just too much sometimes. I’m trying, but it just keeps getting worse. I really am trying but I can't... I can't stop.”Barry stood there, staring at the scars, at the pain his friend was carrying. He couldn’t process the amount of hurt Cisco had been hiding. Barry’s hands shook slightly, but he gently reached out, placing a hand on Cisco’s shoulder.“You don’t have to carry it alone,” Barry said softly, his voice trembling with emotion. “I’m here for you. You don’t need to do this to yourself. Please, talk to me. Please.”Cisco’s shoulders shook as he finally allowed himself to break down. He couldn’t keep it in anymore. “I don’t know how to ask for help, Barry,” Cisco whispered, his voice raw. “I’m scared of being weak. I’m scared I’m too broken to fix.”Barry’s heart shattered. He pulled Cisco into a hug, his arms tight around him. Cisco clung to him, the weight of everything pouring out in that moment. Barry didn’t say anything else. He just held him, because that’s all he could do.They stood like that for a long time, the only sound in the lab being their steady breathing.“I’m not going anywhere,” Barry finally said, his voice thick. “You’re not alone, Cisco. Not now, not ever.”Cisco nodded into his shoulder, his tears wetting Barry’s shirt. He felt like he was finally able to breathe for the first time in what felt like forever.It wasn’t fixed. It wasn’t all better. But for the first time, Cisco felt like maybe, just maybe, he didn’t have to hide anymore.Now both of his closest friends knew. He had hurt both of them with the way he copes. Cisco realizes that it can't go on like that anymore.
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It had been months since the night Barry had found Cisco in the lab, trembling and breaking down. Months since they had had that first difficult conversation. Things hadn’t been easy, not by any means. Cisco had faced setbacks, days when the weight of everything seemed too much to bear. But with Caitlin’s patience, Barry’s quiet support, and the little victories along the way, it had become more manageable.They had made it through the darkest of times. Now, Cisco was standing at the threshold of something new: he wanted to take back control of his life.Today was one of those moments.It had taken a lot of courage to pull the hoodie off his shoulders that morning and pull on a short-sleeve t-shirt instead. The scars—some more faded than others, the deeper ones now a dull pink—were still there, reminders of the battle he had fought, both with himself and the world around him. But today, they felt less like chains. Today, they felt like a part of his story he was ready to stop hiding.He glanced in the mirror as he adjusted the sleeves, his breath catching. He could still see the scars, the marks of his pain. But he didn’t feel the weight of shame that used to come with it.He wasn’t running anymore.Cisco let out a breath and walked out of his room, heading into the Cortex, where Barry and Caitlin were already talking, deep in conversation. They stopped when they saw him, both of them smiling, but there was a softness in their eyes.“Hey, Cisco,” Barry said warmly, his voice full of encouragement.Caitlin’s eyes softened as she took him in. She gave him a proud smile, though she didn’t comment on his appearance right away. She knew better than to push him too hard, but the pride in her gaze was unmistakable.Cisco looked down at his arms, feeling the weight of their gazes. It was strange, being this exposed, even though he knew they supported him fully. He could feel the faint tremble in his hands. He had promised himself he would do this for him—no one else—but it didn’t make it any less nerve-wracking.“How are you feeling, man?” Barry asked, taking a step closer.Cisco nodded slowly, his voice quiet. “I’m doing better. It’s been a long road, and I’ve had some setbacks, but I’m getting there. I feel like I’m... I’m getting closer to who I used to be. The real me.”“You *are* the real you, Cisco,” Caitlin said, walking over to stand beside him. She gently placed a hand on his shoulder, offering silent strength. “This is just part of your journey. You’ve come so far, and we’re here with you every step of the way.”Cisco gave a small, grateful smile, appreciating their words more than he could express. They had been there through it all—through the darkest days, the breakthroughs, the small victories. Without them, he wasn’t sure he would’ve made it.Before either of them could say more, the rest of Team Flash began to filter into the Cortex.It didn’t take long for the rest of the team to notice. The usual banter and greetings fell quiet when the others saw Cisco standing there in the short-sleeve t-shirt. Some were visibly shocked. They seemingly never noticed something going on with Cisco. But the damage was done leaving him with some visibly scars.Joe blinked a few times, his eyes flicking to Cisco’s arms. He didn’t say anything at first but gave him a thoughtful look, understanding the significance.“What are you guys looking at? Is there the next super villain behind me?,” Cisco joked, a small smile on his lips, trying to ease the sudden tension. It was his usual defense mechanism, but this time, it was tinged with something more. He wasn’t just hiding behind a joke this time. It was an effort to be *seen* for who he really was and a confirmation for himself that it is good the way it is.Mick was the first to speak up, looking at Cisco with a mixture of surprise and curiosity. “You good, Cisco?” he asked, his tone softer than usual.“I’m good,” Cisco replied, holding Mick’s gaze with newfound confidence. “Really good.”Iris, who had been standing off to the side, gave him an encouraging smile. “I’ve got to say, I’m proud of you, Cisco. And I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you when you needed it.”Cisco’s gaze flicked to his arms for a brief moment before meeting Iris’s eyes. “Thanks,” he said, voice steady. “I’m still working through some stuff, but I think this is a step in the right direction.”Barry and Caitlin exchanged a glance, both of them knowing how hard this was for Cisco. Caitlin gave him a slight nod, silently telling him that they were proud of him—proud of how far he had come.The others seemed to take it in stride after the initial moment of pause. Wally smiled at Cisco, clapping him on the back. “Hey, I like the new look, man. Feels like you’re taking charge.”Cisco smiled, the warmth from his teammates washing over him. “Yeah, maybe I am.”As they all gathered around to discuss their next mission, Cisco felt a sense of peace settle in his chest. His scars were still there, but they no longer felt like something to be hidden. They were part of him—part of his story, his growth. And with his team by his side, he knew he didn’t have to face them alone.He had a long way to go, but for the first time in a while, Cisco felt like he was on the right path.