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The first time Ventus watches them, he is standing on a rocky platform in the middle of a fight against the forces of darkness. Ventus dodges and lunges and parries and ripostes. Yet, curiosity has the best of him. He throws quick glances at the blond who looks just like him, noticing things he shouldn’t be paying attention to. Next to Roxas, Lea is fighting too, never striding far. But Ventus is not looking at the way they move. It’s the little things that catch his attention: the swift brush of fingers, the reddened cheeks, the way their looks linger on each other and the blue and green irides shine. There’s an oddity to all of it that Ventus doesn’t understand. It intrigues him, arousing a strange desire to know more. Ventus wonders about it later, when he and his friends are safe at the tower. Even if the weariness and the excitement of the day linger heavily on his mind, Ventus turns around in bed and recalls the things he saw. His brow furrows when a pang hits his heart. He’s too tired to question it and he falls asleep.⁓The second time Ventus watches them, he is standing on golden sand under the orange light of the sunset. He’s seen Sora disappear into nothingness and now he feels a strange void in his heart. Roxas has distanced himself from the group and sits alone, legs pulled to his chest. Ventus wonders if he too feels the same emptiness. Lea takes a seat next to Roxas and wraps his arms around the diminutive boy; he kisses his forehead and holds him tight. Roxas shakes and Lea cradles him. They look warm. Ventus shivers. ⁓Ventus catches them from the corner of his eye, while he jumps and sweats in the big room of his house with Terra and Aqua. Lea and his two younger friends have come to train with them today. Ventus likes Xion and Roxas, even if the other blond sometimes looks at him in a funny, weird way. Ventus probably looks at Roxas in the same manner, so he doesn’t question it for now. Instead, his attention is captured by how Roxas and Lea move together. Their movements are precise, coordinated, as if they have been doing this for a long time. As if they know each other’s bodies too well. They dance around each other, they grab and pull, they fall over. Smiling. Laughing. Staring. Ventus doesn’t understand them but a hidden layer of his consciousness believes that something is not usual; something has changed about them since last time. As he watches them fooling around, his heart stings. A pain unknown and yet familiar. A whiff of flowers reaches him all of a sudden, out of nowhere. Echoes of voices—laughs?—ring in his ears, overwhelmingly. He can’t recognize any of them, though he feels as if he should. As if, by not recalling secret memories hidden beyond the thick, heavy mist dwelling inside his mind, he’s betraying a part of himself. It leaves him saddened and confused. Ventus excuses himself and leaves under the curious and worried eyes following him. He wishes someone would look at him the same way Lea and Roxas look at each other. ⁓Ventus keeps watching even though he knows he’s not supposed to. The charming scene draws him in like a fly to a neon light, watching her companions falling one after the other, burned to a crisp. And like the fly who can’t stop getting closer to the beautiful light, Ventus can’t stop looking, even if he knows he’ll get burned eventually. Ventus watches the way Roxas grabs Lea’s face, the way his fingers run through the red hair and their mouths meet and shape each other. He looks astonished at the abandon of their kisses, the adoring expressions. Ventus sees Roxas’s face, the wide smile and the wrinkles at the tip of the eyes. A face that’s like his own. He feels odd, seeing someone who looks like him to be loved like that. He wonders if he too could make those expressions. If he too could grin when someone’s arms wrap around him. If someone would kiss him with the same passion. The knife cuts his heart deeper. Seating on the grass of the Twilight Town gardens, surrounded by his friends, Ventus feels the emptiness growing inside. The more time passes, the more he feels he doesn’t belong. There, then, with his friends. The fog has gotten thicker and more confusing and the voices won’t stop. They’re calling his name and he can’t answer them back. There’s something missing, and it’s not just a piece of his heart. It’s a distant memory trying to reach him through the eons. Ventus still can’t remember—why can’t he remember something so important? Sometimes the mist clears enough for a jolt to pass through, too foggy to bring into focus. The smell of flowers swirls around him, different from the ones surrounding him in the grass. There’s a hint of hope and the fog seems to dissipate. Just as quickly though, it thickens back. Ventus watches Lea and Roxas making out at the shadow of a tree in the distance. He watches a boy with his face, glowing with happiness and he wishes for someone to love him that way. There are thorns gripping his heart. Ventus endures the pain as much as he can. ⁓Ventus doesn’t see them. He hears them.It was an honest mistake he cannot apologize for, lest he’d die of embarrassment like the time he walked in on Aqua and Terra. Ventus wanted to invite Roxas outside for a game or two before the blond and the redhead had to leave the Land of Departure. He couldn’t foresee the couple would be occupied with a different task in the middle of the afternoon. Ventus’s cheeks are red and he doesn’t understand if it’s for shame or the anger bubbling up from his stomach. He doesn’t know if his guests sharing their intimate moment in their designated bedroom, in a house that doesn’t belong to them, is foolish enough to not warrant such impetuous feelings but lately Ventus gets upset quite often, for the silliest things. He can’t walk away, the moment he hears a voice so similar to his own, uttering those strange sounds. His heart speeds up and a shiver pierces him on the spot. The blood boils in his veins; his fingers tighten into fists. The void has grown out of control and only an empty heart remains. Too small and faint to cling to any hope so it plunges deep into Ventus’s bowels. Ventus forces the bile down his throat until he wishes he would choke on it as the sounds intensify. But it’s the whispered i-love-yous that claw at his soul, leaving bleeding wounds behind, and he’s left broken and shattered. Ventus flees to his room and buries his head in his pillow. He weeps. ⁓Today is a day of celebration, for things that have ended and things that will start anew. Everybody's here on the golden beach again, but many things have changed since last time. Ventus’s old memories are returning one by one. Some of them are faster—the sad ones. Some of them are still missing, slowly coming back if triggered. Ventus spots Lea and Roxas in a corner and for a moment his attention is drawn to the rings that lately have appeared on their fingers. They hold hands and chat with people. It seems like a long time ago when they could hardly keep their hands off each other. Ventus is not sure if he’s grateful for it. His gaze doesn’t linger, though, as he searches for a face in a multitude of colors and people. A familiar face who was once lost and he’s been recently reunited with. The tall frame appears above the others, the strawberry hair fluttered by the breeze and Ventus senses the pounding of his heart up in his throat. As Lauriam smiles and walks closer, the butterflies threaten to open a hole in Ventus’s stomach. Since Ventus unlocked the pieces of his memories and found his old friends again, the bad feelings have mostly washed away. There’s one that still lingers at night, before bedtime, when he turns in a bed that feels too cold; when the room is empty and the silence too deafening. It’s gotten worse since meeting Lauriam again. Because with the old memories, forgotten feelings have traveled back too. Now, Ventus remembers all about the boy he’s had a crush on since a lifetime ago. Except, Lauriam never got to know the truth. Fingers running through his blond hair bring him back to the present; a pleasant tingle courses through Ventus’s body. The opal blue eyes meet his and Ventus feels his cheek flushing under the intense stare. He notices a light in those eyes he can’t explain. A light whose meaning he wonders about everytime he sees it. It’s mellow and sweet and reassuring and it excites him. A smile widens on his face as one of Lauriam’s hands pat his head gently, a thrilling heat growing and spreading quickly inside Ventus’s core. But just as quickly, the hands withdraw and the light fades away. Ventus’s heart shrinks. Each time Ventus longs for more of the warm touches, they disappear leaving him cold and empty. Not even in this new life, his heart is whole yet. The constant feeling that something is still missing, looms over him and Ventus wonders if he’ll ever be complete. Ventus watches the way Terra cups Aqua’s face, the expression Ventus has seen the brunet showing only for her. He glances at Roxas and Lea as they chastely kiss under a palm, in their eyes the same devoted look. Even Vanitas has started making that face to Kairi. Ventus sighs. He watches Lauriam departing after a promise of meeting again on the next day. Ventus promises he looks forward to it, but inside him there’s a tempest of conflicting thoughts. As much as he wants to be closer to the older man, he’s also terrified. Terrified of his feelings being too overwhelming, terrified of not being worthy enough. Terrified of being just Lauriam’s best friend. Maybe Ventus’s heart is too ugly and broken to be loved.As he retreats to a corner far away from everyone, Ventus wishes he could have the courage to tell Lauriam he’s the one Ventus’s damaged heart has always beaten for. ⁓Ventus hardly notices them. His whole focus is enraptured by petals swirling around Lauriam’s head and the tickling from Lauriam’s fingers as they gently slip under Ventus’s shirt and stroke the exposed skin of his side. Sometimes, glancing around the Corona Hills, beyond all the people gathered there at their outdoor meal, Ventus’s eyes meet Roxas’s and they exchange a smile and a quick wave. Ventus doesn’t mind how Roxas lies on Lea’s body and the affections they share on that midsummer day. His attention is all absorbed by the way Lauriam’s lips get closer until they press to his own. Ventus tastes Lauriam’s tongue and breathes the aroma of rosewater and jasmine. His heart flutters and his head spins. The tongue lapping and sucking in his mouth causes the swarm of butterflies to pool dangerously low. When his mouth is not engaged in kisses, Ventus giggles at the thrills from Lauriam’s lips tracing paths on the blond’s neck and jaw; long fingers run through Ventus’s tufts, twining around soft locks. Ventus wonders if Lauriam can see his happiness, if he can feel Ventus’s heartbeat throbbing just for him. Maybe Lauriam can, when he leans down and whispers his naughty thoughts for only Ventus’s ears. Lauriam can undoubtedly see the red spreading through Ventus’s cheeks and the light shining in the blond’s eyes. Ventus bites down his lower lip, still shy even after they have shared so much in the past weeks and months. Yet, he lets Lauriam pull him to his feet and he doesn’t look behind his back when the taller man leads him away from the party.They find a quiet alcove far into the woods, next to a small lake. Ventus is pushed down sweetly, until he lies on the green grass. Wildflowers and long leaves tickle him in the arms and legs and buttocks, as every piece of his clothing is taken off gradually and thoroughly. Every part of his body that is exposed, Lauriam covers it with kisses and gentle bites and Lauriam’s tongue slides on the heated skin. Hidden behind a hollow log and thick bushes, their love is gentle and tender. Lauriam told him once, he loves hearing Ventus’s voice and the sounds the blond makes. Since then, Ventus doesn’t try to shield his mouth behind his hand. But this time is different, they’re outside in the open—what if someone hears them? Lauriam nudges Ventus to uncover his mouth and pleads he wants Ventus to sing for him. Ventus obliges. His moans get carried by the wind. Whenever Ventus opens his eyes, he sees windflowers and dandelions dancing around them, as if celebrating the love they’re witnessing. Then, he’s left breathless when he watches the light seeping through the leaves above them, shading that little corner they’re lying on, casting a golden halo surrounding Lauriam’s figure and giving him the appearance of a god. Ventus giggles as his heart fills with desire, watching Lauriam frowning in amusement. The blond grabs the man by the shoulders and yanks him down.Held in the arms surrounding his smaller body, Ventus is warm and safe. With his eyes closed, he gets lost in the pleasure of the pressure weighting on him. The strong body covers him entirely as Ventus embraces it tightly, his arms wrapped around the wide shoulders and his ankles crossed on the small of Lauriams’s back, holding the man firmly in place and pulling Lauriam’s groin flush against his, further and further, spurring him to go faster and deeper. The large stretch around Lauriam’s cock is delicious and the sweet assaults of the swollen head on Ventus’s sensitive prostate make his toes curl. As the movements change into more erratic patterns, Lauriam’s silent grunts spread tingles throughout Ventus’s limbs. Lauriam’s arms tighten around Ventus, cock sliding deep and hard. For a long moment, the frantic sound of skin against skin echoes around them until Ventus cries his pleasure as loud as his lungs allow. He feels the muscles beneath his fingers tensing before the hot spurts fill him up completely. Neither of them move until their breaths even, and when their bodies readjust they stay locked on the spot. Only their mouths reach for each other, sharing chaste and heartwarming kisses. They laugh and cuddle at the shadow of the trees. Then, Lauriam stands, offering a hand to the younger man and together they reach the small lake, slowly entering the water and soaking their feet and legs. They play and frolic. They grab and pull and fall over. Ventus’s heart could burst with joy each time Lauriam cups his face, at every kiss that the taller man lays on Ventus’s lips. They goof around but the touches become more sensual, the kisses more demanding and the closeness of their bodies turns them hot again. Lauriam carries Ventus to a spot where the blond’s too short legs can’t touch so Ventus is gleefully compelled to cross his legs around Lauriam’s waist, holding to the expanses of his arms and frame. They make love again. This time is blazing, passionate and messy. Water splashes around them as Lauriam slams his cock inside Ventus over and over, hands gripping tight on the younger boy’s hips. Their mouths keep searching for each other, sloppy kisses, seemingly never able to stay apart for long. Tongues twirl and swirl, muffling the lewd sounds, plunging deep and tasting each other’s flavors. Ventus comes undone first—again—because Lauriam is a gentleman like that. He opens his eyes to look at the man’s expression, the way his eyelids are disclosed and his face tilted up, and the blond listens to the obscene way Lauriam gasps Ventus’s name. Every time it happens, his heart soars. He will never get tired of watching Lauriam's climax. He will never get tired of this; of them together.Lauriam walks to the shore and deposits Ventus on the grass. They’re still connected to their cores, though Lauriam's cock is softening. He hasn't got any more to give for now. Yet, Ventus has received plenty since that morning. Since the night before. For weeks and weeks. He’s filled to the brim with feelings he’s still grasping to make sense of, but the heart pounding in his chest leaves no doubts to their meanings. They let the breeze dry off the moisture and sweat on their skin while they kiss more and hands explore and stroke and rub. The adoring way Lauriam looks at him, makes Ventus shiver and lights up more desire and longing. When they finally put their clothes on again and tidy up their appearances, the sun is down on the horizon. They walk hand in hand through the woods, back to their group of friends, or who’s left of them. Ventus sees Roxas and Lea still lying on the same spot on the grass where they have been left hours ago. He tries to avoid the inquisitive looks on everyone’s face even though the flushing of his cheeks must be a dead giveaway of his mischief. But Ventus doesn’t mind, really. The grounding presence of Lauriam by his side, gives him all the comfort and reassurance he needs. As soon as he falls asleep, snuggled up between Lauriam’s legs and cradled in his arms, Ventus can’t notice Roxas’s gaze on him. He won’t see the smile materialising on the blond’s face.
Axel notices it, lying on Roxas legs, his flaming hair petted by the blue-eyed boy, and he questions him about it. “He used to watch us a lot before. I never understood why.”“Really? ‘never noticed. So what about it?”“I think I get it now.”Axel frowns, clueless. He nudges for more but Roxas drops the topic. He doesn’t need to share it, for it was always something between him and a boy who looked just like him, and yet they couldn’t have been more different. Roxas’s heart was born whole because Axel was always there with him. But Ventus’s heart had missed a very important piece. A piece Roxas might have stolen the day he was made. Every time Ventus looked at Roxas, he was searching for that missing piece inside Roxas’s heart. A heart that was filled with a love that didn’t belong to Ventus. Roxas watches Ventus asleep in Lauriam’s arms and smiles. He can see it clearly now. The piece of heart that shines brighter than the whole light engulfing Ventus’s being. The piece Ventus had been longing for and had finally recovered. A love that had traveled through space and time to reconnect with him. A love that always belonged to Ventus.
⁓End<3