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Peter hadn’t seen Jason since their graduation party, but those last couple of months together, the last he had seen of him, even towards the end of his freshman year of college, had stayed in the back of his mind.Jason had been out of school for a while, ever since his near death during opening night. Strangely, he had been held out longer than needed. Maybe it was some concern from his parents, but a sinking worry had told Peter it was something worse.The first night Jason was back, Peter hadn’t been able to sleep, and Jason wasn’t speaking a word to him. They hadn’t seen each other all day, almost like Jason was avoiding him, only adding to Peter’s suspicions about what really happened. It was the first time in a long time they had retreated to their own beds, instead of the lines of their personal space blurring together. Peter tossed and turned, but his eyes always fell back to the bed across the room. He knew Jason was awake, he had watched him sleep thousands of times, and the breaths he was taking didn’t match up with any of his memories. In the softest of tones, nearly a whisper, in an attempt to not disturb anyone else on their floor, Peter had called out for him, “Jason…”, but there was no response.He found a familiar frustration growing within him, a feeling that had often been directed at Jason, but it was different this time. An urge to be seen like never before overwhelmed him as he called out again, “Jason, please, just look at me. Can you give me that?”The body that laid across from him remained still, only the rising and falling of his chest. Tears of frustration welled in Peter’s eyes, there was no way he’d get any response at this point. But the agonizing silence was finally disrupted, as Jason finally stirred, turning to face him.A breath hitched in the back of his throat as Peter was finally able to make out his features in the darkness. But the most agonizing part of it all, was the prominent busted lip and black eye that intruded on the face Peter had spent so many years memorizing. He bolted upright, holding himself back from rushing to Jason’s side, cuddling him close and promising everything would work itself out once they were out of this place. He didn’t know if it was his place anymore.“Was it your…” his voice trailed off. Stupid question, Peter, he scolded himself, for who else would have done this.Jason gave a nod in return, a grim express on his face as he turned onto his back, staring up towards the ceiling. He let out a sigh as he spoke the first words Peter had heard from in him weeks, “No shit, right? I knew it was coming. I was hardly through the door when…””Jason—stop. You don’t have to do this,” Peter implored. He couldn’t bare to be the reason he felt obligated to relive this moment. And Jason did just that, he went silent again, for a brief, but agonizing moment. Maybe shutting him down was the wrong thing to do, maybe it was the only way Peter could hear his voice. But in a small peace offering, Jason scooted over, making room for Peter on the bed they used to share. Peter obliged, forgoing the loneliness of sleeping alone. As the two cuddled close, neither of them wanted to dare image what tomorrow would bring. — The weeks leading to graduation were as normal as they possibly could be when your world had been turned upside down, but remarkably, the ceremony went off without a hitch. It was the party he knew for certain that Lucas would be holding that night that had Peter worried. Ever since Jason’s overdose, an uncertainty had overcome him when it came to that. But it was set to be the biggest night of the year, to really cap off their years at St. Cecilia’s. He had to go, and if he could keep a bit of an eye on Jason, that was an added bonus. And as the rowdy crowd of fresh graduates drove off to experience the night of their lives, he couldn’t tear his eyes off him from across the church van.Personal space seemed to be nonexistent, as bodies pressed close together, shuffling along to the music. Peter wasn’t entirely sure what he had taken that night, or did he take anything at all? The details remained a little fuzzy as he tried to recall it all months later, but he had felt like he was at least three feet off the ground and his vision blurred as pushed his way to find the one person that mattered in that whole room. And when he finally did, it felt like a scene straight out of a cheesy melodramatic romance film, but maybe that just fit their lives now. The blinding, multi-colored lights formed a twisted inversion of a halo around Jason’s silhouette. Their eyes met, and Peter knew Jason was already high or drunk or something by the way he beckoned him closer. All inhibitions were gone when he was in that state, and if everyone already knew, was there really anything left to lose? Their worst fears had come and been confirmed time and time, but maybe one simple moment together was worth facing those again. Once Peter was close enough, Jason grabbed him by both of his hands, pulling him so close that even the smallest movements against each other would be noticeable.Peter found himself staring deep into Jason’s bright blue eyes that he had always loved so dearly. The distinct iris was almost nonexistent, his pupil’s being blown out of proportion, confirming any earlier suspicions. Though Peter couldn’t talk, he couldn’t imagine his eyes were any better. But it was different with Jason now, at least it was to him. Peter leaned forward, and in a half hearted attempt at a joke whispered, “I see you left no room for Jesus. We just graduated, did all this good Catholic schooling really go out the window?”That seemed to spark at least something like the old Jason, rather then the shell he’d been ever since his return. “Father’s chastity lectures never did stick all that well,” he responded, with a small laugh, but there as always when they had talked about this, there was a hint of sadness lurking just beneath the surface. Peter went silent, trying to get a full gauge on Jason’s feelings, but it was much easier said than done when they were both so inebriated. So his next best course of action was letting the music course through them instead, really tasting the moment together. He couldn’t fully make out what was playing, but it didn’t matter. He had craved this closeness, to sway with the music, and, in spite of the overwhelming environment, be at peace with him.But like clock work, Jason gently pushed Peter away, a look of panic briefly flashing on his eyes. “Not here, not now,” he said, snaking his hand down to intertwine it with Peter’s. He should have seen it coming. he should have known that these fear was stuck within Jason, but as Jason dragged him off, Peter couldn’t object. After a couple minutes of shoving and stumbling around, they finally found some little secluded room. As Peter watches intently as Jason fumbles with the door handle, he couldn’t help but remember something from being forced to read The Great Gatsby in their junior year. Something about large parties being so intimate. He felt he really understood it now. While everyone was out there, the two of them got the chance to slip away and truly be themselves.Finally, the door swung open, and before their eyes could even adjust to the full darkness of it, Jason grasped onto Peter, pulling his face right into his own. Peter found himself submitting completely, his silent prayers had finally been answered. A small smile emerged on his lips right into the kiss. As the kiss deepened, Peter backed right into the wall, draping his arms around Jason’s neck. Eventually, Jason pulled away, but kept the distance close, their faces not even inches apart, as if any moment they could launch right back into it. Their heavy breathes slowly morphed into small, quiet chuckles from the both of them. It was moments like this that Peter had craved, when everyone else could just melt away. Fuck what the world thought, he had Jason again. His Jason. He placed his hand on the side of Jason’s face, gently caressing where some of the bruises once had been. It was this small gesture that ignited a look of guilt in Jason. Something was clearly eating away at him. As he carefully dropped his hands from where they had been positioned on Peter as he took a step back, sighing deeply.”Peter we need to talk,” he whispered.And those were the words that Peter hated more than anything.Peter slide down the wall, patting the spot next to him for Jason to take with whatever news he possibly had to deliver. In an attempt to give himself the tiniest bit of comfort, Jason leaned his head against Peter’s shoulder.Jason took another deep breathe as he hesitantly whispered, “When I was back with my parents, it wasn’t just me being—you know, that they found out about…”Jason was clearly stumbling on his words, as if nothing he could possibly say could capture the gravity of it all. “Look what I’m trying to say is, they know about the baby—Ivy’s baby, my baby too, I guess,” he finally managed to spit out.”Is that all there is to it? Jason, we can find some way to deal with—“ Peter started off in a gentle tone. As difficult as it may have been, working on this together was the only way to deal with it.But Jason stopped him.”They want me to marry her, Peter. No, not want. They said I need to marry her.”It was those words that were enough to send Peter’s whole world crashing down, caving in on itself. It was a scene from his worst nightmares come to life. A dumbfounded express settled on his face.After a couple agonizing seconds of silence, one burning question escaped from Peter’s lips.”Are you gonna go through with it? Are you gonna actually marry Ivy fucking Robinson?”Jason froze at the bluntness of it. “I don’t know,” he expressed in a weak tone, “I’m going to try and fight it. But I know them, they won’t take that for an answer. But I don’t want this, you know that, right?””I don‘t know anything when it comes to you anymore,” Peter spat back, he felt a bit bad for being as volatile as he was, but the hurt he felt was clouding that judgement. “Please, Peter. I’m going to get it all figured out, I promise.”Promises were a funny thing. The word almost meant nothing to Peter, but a small bit of hope showed through the cracks. Maybe it was the drugs, maybe it was the effect Jason had on him that was just as strong, but something within him had him give in. Jason could almost feel the shift in attitude as Peter cuddled the tiniest bit closer into him. Jason sat upward, taking Peter’s face in his hand as he pulled him into another kiss. And just like before, Peter couldn’t resist. Their embrace deepened, and for a moment, it didn’t matter that his whole world had been torn apart and was being forced back together in a way it wasn’t meant to be.Jason may be Ivy’s the next day, but just for this moment, he was all Peter’s. — That was the last time they had seen each other. After the party, everyone in the graduating class had packed their things and went their separate ways. Peter and Jason among them. No calls, no visits, nothing. The last time they had seen each other, until now.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Late one night, Peter had been in his dorm room, flipping through the mountain of never ending notebooks on his desk, when a knock on the door took him out of his study session.It couldn’t have been his roommate, Ryan, he would have simply burst right through without any warning, without any thought or care for what Peter was doing. Besides, he was supposed to be visiting his family all weekend. Hesitantly, Peter rose from the desk, and as he twisted the door knob open, his thoughts continued to race with who could be on the other side.He never expected to see Jason.Peter’s throat went dry, his mouth agape. He had longed imagined what he would say if he were to ever see Jason again, but all those thoughts went out the window when confronted with the reality. “You look like shit,” were the only words that could escape. He wasn’t wrong either. Jason was distinctly disheveled in a way Peter had never seen from him. His blue has had lost the shine that had been part of what made them so entrancing. He looked tired, so tired.”You try raising a baby,” Jason spat back, “At only 19 too.” After those words left his lips, his demeanor shifted, as if he regretted the harshness in his tone. “Look… can I come in?” he asked in a much softer tone. ”Why would I ever possibly want to see you? After everything you did, you-“ Peter’s rant was cut off Jason starting up again.”Please, Pete. Can you give me that?” In spite of himself, Peter’s heart skipped a best at the nickname, and against his better judgment, he pulled the door open to allow him in, to allow him back into his life.An agonizing silence fell over the room as Jason settled into the desk chair, with Peter taking a spot on his bed across from him. Everything he had wanted to ask Jason had slipped his mind, so he was left grasping at straws trying to figure out what to say.”How did you even find me?” was the first thing that came to his mind.”You always talked about this place. You were so excited to come, to get out there, start your future… if I wanted to find you, here was a good start. Then it was just a matter of asking around, until I found your roommate and he thought he should let me in, I had to get into the building somehow,” Jason replied as he glanced around the room, not unlike their dorm at St. Cecilia’s.Peter crossed his arms, letting out a sigh as he spoke, “Bastard, of course he’d want to meddle in this.””I take it you’ve told people about me. Guess you’ve got the openness you’ve always wanted, huh? Do they really just… not care that you’re, well—?” a genuine tone of curiosity overtook Jason.Peter rolled his eyes, annoyed by the desperation he could feel creeping into his chest. “Yes actually,” he replied, “You’d be surprised how many people don’t have a problem with me being—y’know. Especially around here. Catholic school just really fucked us over.”Jason let out a bitter laugh, “Understatement of the century right there. Look at us.”Another awkward silence filled the space, before Peter asked the burning question that stayed on his mind, “Why are you here, Jason? You have a kid, and a wife, why would you come to find me?”Jason sighed, rose from the desk, and gestured at the spot next to him on the bed. Peter gave him a nod, allowing him to come closer. As Jason took the spot next him, a weird, sickening familiarity settled its way into Peter’s chest, feeling just like they were those sixteen-year-olds just trying to figure it out.”It has been a difficult couple of months, to say the least. But what can you expect being a newlywed at 18. You know Nadia couldn’t look at me at all after the wedding? It’s like I’m ending up on some rampage to destroy everyone I care about in some bullshit attempt to do the right thing. I think I killed any feelings Ivy had for me a long time ago too, so she’s miserable. I’m miserable,” Jason began to ramble on, as if the largest weight was taken off his shoulders.”But it really started a couple of weeks ago,” Jason continued on. “I guess I missed you more than usual, so I remembered you went here. I started looking for all the information I could find, see if I could piece together how you were doing. Then Ivy found out one night and got upset and said I was making this all harder than it needed to be by doing that. Then I got upset and asked what the hell she meant by that. Then that made it worse, and we both started yelling at each other. Then that woke the baby, and she joined us in the yelling. Ivy went to comfort her and I just—I couldn’t do it, Peter. I ran out, I was a coward.”Jason finally turned to be face to face with Peter, his emotional floodgates spilling open so completely. Peter could feel his heart breaking with each word. A part of him wanted to reach out and caress his face, just as he had the very last night he saw him. He wanted to give him some fleeting attempt at comfort, but it was not his place, not anymore.”And I just wanted to… to find my home again,” Jason’s voice broke, his eyes giving a pleading look to Peter.But Peter couldn’t give in, not yet. He shot up from the bed, standing and rushing over to the mini fridge shoved in the corner. “Do you want something to drink? We have alcohol,” he said frantically, pulling out the various cans and bottles that were on the inside.A look of bewilderment grew on Jason’s face, he was off put at the attempts to change the subject, but for Peter’s sake, he decided to roll with it. “What kind of college lets you keep alcohol in a mini fridge?” Jason mused.”My roommate’s older brother is one of the RAs. He sneaks stuff in for us sometimes. Something about wanting him to have a ‘true college experience’, whatever that means,” Peter retorted, “Do you want anything or not?”Jason responded by grabbing the can right from Peter’s hand. He popped it open and took a long, drawn out sip, clearly giving his approval of the idea.Peter sighed, regret suddenly popping up, but it was too late. And truly, what better way was there to bury his feelings than with booze? He grabbed a can of his own, joining Jason in the drinking.The night slips away from them, and before they even knew what hit them, they’re both a couple of cans deep and laughing their asses off like they were back in high school. It was the most free either had felt in months. In a sudden moment of weakness, when Jason found himself closing the space between him and Peter again, Peter didn’t fight it, not this time. No half hearted attempts to change the subject, just the two of them, intertwined.But a sudden moment of clarity caused Peter panic again, and with a bit of unusual force, pushes him away. “Jason, we can’t,” he admitted in a dejected tone, “You’re married. I couldn’t do that to Ivy.””Do you not want this as much as I do, Peter?” Jason inquired with a sharp, biting edge.”Of course I do. You know this, Jason. This is all I’ve wanted for years, but it can’t happen. Not now,” Peter responded matter-a-factly, no matter how much it shattered his heart to say. Upon seeing Jason’s defeated face, Peter decided to ask the question that he has truly been wanting to know.”How about you tell me about that kid of yours.”Jason gave a small shrug, as he said, “Her name’s Anne. She’s only a couple months old now. She’s so tiny… and has my eyes. She’s a baby, I don’t think there’s much to say.”Peter gave a small, awkward nod. His attempts to move on from the lingering attention had all been for nought. “You really should go, it’s late. Do you have any way out of here? You are—so drunk right now, I worry,” Peter said, his concern clearly cutting through any attempts to be nothing more than cordial. “I can get a taxi or something, rent a motel before heading back tomorrow. Thanks for the concern, man,” Jason’s eyes flicked towards the door, already imagining the bittersweet exit he’d have to take. Peter gave a small gesture towards the door, almost trying to shoo him out, as to not have to focus on voices in his head screaming at him that any choice he would make would be wrong here.Jason begrudgingly made his departure, but before he left, he made one last turn to announce a proposal, “We need to see each other again. I can’t take it without you anymore. We can try and meet up… not like this. Something better.”Peter stared at Jason, trying to swallow down the sickness he could feel rising in his throat. “We could,” he began, “But as friends. Just as friends, Jason. We can’t keep going on like this. Not now, not with the part you have to play.””That’s better than nothing. I just need to see you. We’ll talk about it,” it was hard to read Jason as he said that. Was it true, complete acceptance? Or did he feel the same sickness Peter did as the door shut behind him?Peter could only stand there, dumbfounded, and in spite of his best efforts, tears overwhelmed his eyes. This was what they were destined to, and Peter had to force himself to be okay with that.He didn’t even bother to go back to his studying that night or to clean up the mess of cans littered around the room. Tomorrow would come, and then he could deal with the fallout. Tonight, he could wallow in the mess of emotions that occupied his mind.
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Remarkably, speaking to Jason more often than before allowed for Peter to managed the initial sickness he felt. Of course, it lingered, how could one not feel sick speaking to the soulmate ripped away from them? But surprisingly, his voice remained a large comfort. Their calls were never anything ground breaking, no huge, dramatic confessions. Just small talk, slightly uncomfortable small talk, but small talk nonetheless.”…and that was the last thing the guy said to me before Ryan and I got kicked out,” Peter mumbled into the telephone, he had been going on about some party or another, though the weight of his college problems seemed insignificant.There was a pause on the other end. Jason wanted so badly to relate to what Peter had to tell him, but he didn’t even know where to begin with it. “Yeah—yeah I’m sure that must really fucking suck,” he finally managed to conjure up, kicking himself for not providing more. It had been his idea after all, and he couldn’t even offer some better support for his…Friend. Just his friend.Jason glanced over at the doorway of the kitchen where Ivy stood, the baby in her hip. There wasn’t judgement in her gaze, there never was when these calls happened. Just a curiosity, a want to keep tabs on her husband. Though Jason couldn’t blame her for that, everyone was aware of their history, even Ivy. It’s no wonder she’d want to know what he was saying to his ex-boyfriend after he’d been so insistent about keeping in touch.“Well, uh, I’m gonna let you go now, Peter,” Jason hastily said. “You said you had that uh—biochemistry exam coming up, didn’t you? Wouldn’t want to stop you from studying.””Yes, I do but it’s not a problem Jason. I can—““Really, don’t let me hold you up. Sorry Peter, I’ll call again soon, okay? Maybe even try and visit when you have a break,” Jason cut him off, a tinge of shame in his voice.”That’s fine,” Peter finally said after a small bit of silence. “Goodbye, Jason.””Bye Peter,” Jason almost whispered into the receiver, then he hung up the phone with a sigh.Ivy made her way properly into the kitchen, shifting Anne over into Jason’s arms. A slight sense of calm emerged looking down at her face. She was just past a year now. Though soon enough, Jason was snapped back into reality.”Nadia’s coming over for dinner tomorrow night,” he said, not looking up to face Ivy directly.”I wished you would have talked to me about that before, given me a little more of notice,” Ivy replied, heading towards the stove to finally make dinner.“She’s still my sister, Ivy. I know you’ve had your problems, but she’s going to be around sometimes,” Jason finally looked up, with her back towards him, so he didn’t have to see her face.”Problems? She hated me. I don’t want to hear what she’ll have to say about me at my own dinner table,” Ivy spat back.”We’re adults now. We’re going to have to act like it eventually. Even her. Can you please just try? Just for tomorrow” Jason implored. Even if he wouldn’t say it go Ivy directly, he needed to see Nadia. Maybe she’d have some semblance of wisdom about the hole he seemed to be continually digging himself into.But Ivy still had some words to say, “I am trying, Jason. I’ve been trying everyday, for you. But I’m still your wife. We’re in this together. It’s like you forget that.””Ivy please—I know that. Look, after tomorrow, we’ll talk about this more. We can just get through one more day, then I’ll figure something out,” Jason promised, almost begging her to take him at his word.But Ivy didn’t respond. — Peter was always in a daze when his phones calls with Jason ended, unable to discern if what he was feeling was joy or despair. Even if it was nice to hear from him, it never went anywhere, just discussing small details of their lives. Nothing deeper, and that felt disingenuous for all they had shared in the past.Though of course he understood, it was his insistence to keep it just friendly, but perhaps it would be better if they didn’t speak at all.Peter quickly tried to push that thought out of his mind. This was Jason he was talking about, the Jason he had known since their middle school days. That was still his best friend, and surely they could find some way to diminish the strange wall between them. They just needed to adjust to this new arrangement, it had only been a couple of months like this after all.Peter finally hooked the phone back onto its spot, right as Ryan come bursting in through their door. The two of them had grown closer since their freshman year, meaning it was only natural to room together again the next. Though there was still a lingering discomfort for Peter. He hadn’t dared to share a room with anyone since Jason, and finding himself to be doing it so willingly, to be getting so close, again, it was almost exhilarating.”You are never gonna believe what Doctor Perez said!” Ryan’s infectious energy seemed to suddenly overwhelm the room. It was almost enough to rip Peter from his funk.Almost.Peter glanced in his direction as Ryan dramatically threw his bag onto his bed. As Ryan rambled on, Peter took out his own assignments, finding himself lost in the haze of his thoughts, only occasionally tuning into what he was saying.
“And then obviously I had to be like, ‘Sir, this could take months! And term’s almost over!’ And he looked at me like no one had ever been that bold to criticize him ever! So he went—Peter! Are you even listening to me?” Ryan’s sudden call out finally snapped Peter back into the reality of his situation.”Sorry man, I just got off a call. You know how that gets, but that sounds like it sucks,” Peter responded meekly.”Damn, was it you know who again?” Ryan questioned, as he sat backwards in their desk chair. Peter only gave a small nod and sigh in response. “Then I know exactly what you need! There’s another rager coming up tomorrow night, and no risk of us getting kicked out! The house owner actually likes me!” “I don’t know dude. I can’t solve all my problems with parties,” Peter retorted.”Sure you can! Besides, it’s that time of the year everyone is going through something or another. It’s good for everyone to get that emotion out, let it all flow, man,” Ryan jumped up from his chair, clasping a hand on Peter’s shoulder. “So what do you say?”Peter weighed his options, before eventually concluded that spending the night alone when he’d much rather have a good time with his friends was the worst of them.He looked up to make eye contact with Ryan, and simply said, “I’m in.” — Despite it being all his idea, Jason was beginning to regret having Nadia come over. He loved his sister, his really did! But Ivy was right. That lingering tension from high school was still there, and the two of them being married surely didn’t help matters.But it was too late to back out now, so when he got home from work, all he could do was sit around and watch the clock tick closer to six. Right on time, there was a knock on the apartment door. Jason jumped up, wanting to make sure that he was the one to be greeting Nadia, to keep any potential contact as minimal as possible.What he did not anticipate was the bear hug she pulled him into the moment she was through the door, but the gesture meant more to him than he could properly register.After a couple, brief seconds, he returned the gesture as he spoke, “Nadia, hey—I mean… god you don’t know how good it is to see you again.””Don’t get all sappy on me now, Jason,” Nadia snarked back, though clearly lovingly, as she did not back down on the hug. Eventually though, they both took a step back, as Jason awkwardly cleared his throat. Even having his own flesh and blood around couldn’t make him anymore comfortable with where he was.”Do you want to see Anne?” he asked, somewhat making small talk.”Well, I did come to see my brother. But I suppose your offspring will have to do, bring her to me,” Nadia responded in a deadpan. Jason couldn’t contain his chuckle as he lead her towards their small living room, where Anne sat in her play pen. Nadia quickly scooped up the little girl as Jason settled onto the couch.
“So,” Nadia began, “Where’s the missus at? Is she even home? Or is she off with god knows who?””Nadia, don’t. That’s still my wife we’re talking about,” Jason sighed, “You don’t get to talk about her like that. Regardless of what happened before. She wouldn’t do that.””I’m just saying, you have to stay vigilant about those things.””And what concern is it to you what state my marriage is in!” Jason snapped back, before sinking into the couch. “She’s just in the other room, by the way. So keep it down, she’s making dinner soon.”A silence settled over the pair as Nadia bounced Anne on her knee. “Sorry Jason… but I don’t trust her. Not for you,” Nadia whispered.”We have a kid, Nadia. She’s not like that anyway, we actually have bigger things to think about now. I’ve made my choice,” Jason simply replied. “Can we please talk about something—anything, other than this? You don’t know how tired I am of rehashing high school.”With a look of resignation, Nadia finally backs down, diving into her studies, the friends she’s made, the place of belonging she’s finally found, all as she’s fussing happily over Anne. Jason is happy for her, really. He knows he is, but why does he feel just a twinge of jealousy?It is halfway through her rant about the unfortunate state of her dorm building that a sickening thought pops into Jason’s head, and he just has to ask.”Hey, are you still in touch with Lucas?”Nadia pauses, mid squishing the baby’s cheeks, before she replies with, “Of course. That’s should be a given.””Man,” he began, as if trying to deflect why he was asking, “I haven’t talked to anyone from Cecilia’s in forever. Other than you and… never mind. Must be nice.”Nadia’s skeptical look never wavers. “Yeah, I guess so.””And is Lucas still—you know—“”Is Lucas still Lucas? Is the Pope Catholic?” Nadia responded in complete deadpan.”Ha. Ha. Very funny,” Jason made his disdain incredibly clear as he spoke. “Maybe it would do me some good to catch up. Could I have his number?”Nadia raised an eyebrow, “And what do you need his number for?””Come on,” Jason huffed, “he was my friend too, a good friend might I add.”Nadia didn’t reply for a moment, she simply moved Anne from her lap onto Jason’s. Nadia knew her brother inside and out, and this was as close as she could get to screaming I know what you’re doing. And by God do not ruin what you have going for yourself.Jason glanced to get a better look at his daughter, her big blue eyes mirroring his own. He shifted his gaze back to Nadia, as he could feel her eyes boring into him expectantly. Once she seemed satisfied with his shift in demeanor she quickly added, “I’ll give it to you later. He’d probably love to hear from you again.””Thanks, Nadia,” he responded. Nadia gave a nod, and before Jason could say anymore, Ivy came into the living room.”Dinner’s ready.” — Looking back, maybe partying with where he was at was not the wisest move on Peter’s end, but honestly, at this current moment, he found himself enjoying it too much to care.Ryan had been right, he was able to feel that emotion flowing out of him, and it felt too damn good. All that pent up frustration he didn’t even know existed ever since Jason had wandered back into his life, ever since he had completed upended his normal routine. One drink turned into another, and then another, and then who knows how many more until Peter had almost forgotten about the earlier phone call.As he truly let himself go, Peter realized he could hear Ryan’s voice calling his name above the crowd’s murmurs and the blaring music.”Peter! Peter you gotta get over here! I have someone you need to meet!”Peter gave a brief goodbye to whoever he had been mingling with and pushed his way towards Ryan. Once he finally found his roommate, he laid eyes on the man standing next to him.And he must have been one of the most beautiful things Peter had ever had the pleasure of seeing.Ryan threw an arm around Peter as he excitedly explained, “This here is Scott, he and I go way back. And he just transferred here. Anyways, I wanted to introduce you two because guess what! He’s like you! If you’re picking up what I’m putting down.” That last part was said with a playful nudge into Peter’s side.Peter had no recollection of ever telling Ryan he was gay, but that certainly didn’t seem to matter when he met Scott’s deep brown eyes as he shook his hand.
Ryan let out a low whistle as he suddenly waltzed off to rejoin the rest of the party, leaving the pair to do nothing but stand and stare at each other. Finally, Peter managed to squeak out a small, “Hey.”Scott responded with a laugh, “Hey yourself. Sorry about Ryan, he heard I was coming to this, and all he could do was rave about how he wanted me to meet you.””Has he always been that… energetic? I’ve known him for like, only two years and I’m still baffled at it,” Peter questioned.Scott let out another chuckle, and Peter felt his heart leap into his throat. “Yeah actually, been like that since birth I’d say.”The two share some more laughter, before Peter works up the nerve to ask, “Would you want to get a drink with me?”Scott nods, responding with, “I’m never one to turn town an offer like that.”In a shocking moment of flirtation and bravery, Peter snakes his hand down Scott’s arm to intertwine their fingers and then pulling him in the direction of the makeshift bar.And for a brief moment, it feels just right. — Dinner was about as tense as Jason expected, the an overwhelming silence settling over the three of them. Ivy and Nadia had done nothing but glare daggers at one another, and Jason was in a cold sweat waiting for all hell to break loose. Finally, the sounds of knives and forks scraping against porcelain was interrupted by Nadia snarking, “So, I take it this is what dinner is like every night?””Nadia—“ Jason began, trying to keep the peace, before Ivy quickly cut him off.”I’m sorry, but what gives you the right to say that in my home?” Ivy demanded.
“Your home? We all know it’s Jason who pays the bills!” Nadia snapped back, standing up as she did. “What am I supposed to do! Someone needs to take care of the baby, something you’d never understand.””We all know the only reason you have the baby! We all know the shit you did!””God you are so childish, Nadia! Some of us have adult roles to play now. Like your brother and I.””My brother doesn’t even want to be here! My brother doesn’t love you! Anyone can see it on his face, we all know he’d much rather be with—“Anne had started to cry with all the commotion between the two women, but Jason was frozen in place hearing the screaming match that erupted.Before he could even register that he was moving, he was up and running out of the apartment. He could only vaguely hear the two of them yell his name after, but he was too far gone to turn back.He ran down the stairs, through the lobby, and as far as he could down the sidewalk before he finally stopped, taking heaving breaths, that slowly morphed into him sobbing in the middle of the sidewalk.And in that moment, he knew there was only one person he wanted to hear from.Frantically, he patted himself down to find his cell phone, and once he did, he punched in the number he knew better than his own.As the phone rang, Jason whispered through his tears, ”Come on Peter. Please pick up, Pete…” — Peter’s night seemed to be moving a rate he was not expecting, but he found himself having no complaints. He and Scott had found themselves sharing more than a couple of drinks and one very exhilarating dance before spending the rest of the night hanging out with Ryan and some blonde girl who clearly had no intentions of leaving his side. Ryan then announced to the group, “Well guys, the two of us have business elsewhere if you know what I mean. I’ll be catching you later.” He wrapped his arm around the blonde as she giggled, before turning one last time to Peter and saying, “Oh and by the way, the dorm’s all yours for the night, just in case.”Peter’s face contorted with mortification as Ryan gave him a wink behavior being dragged away by the girl. He was only somewhat aware of Scott standing right by his side as he turned to properly face him.”Sorry,” Peter began, “About that, obviously you shouldn’t have to—you know Ryan too he just likes to—“”No, no don’t be sorry,” Scott cut in. “Ryan’s a prick, I get it. But I don’t know, should we head back to your place?”Peter could feel his face turn bright red, he hadn’t been hit on so openly in so long, and especially not from someone like Scott. “Yeah, actually. I’ll lead the way,” he responded. It was a blur all the way back to his dorm, and before he knew it their lips were crashing into each other with a drunken hunger. This was the first person he had ever dared to be with since Jason, and to his own surprise, there were no guilty feelings holding him back. In fact, the thought almost made it more exhilarating. Peter hastily locked the door behind them, the two still engaged in a tight embrace. As Scott tossed aside Peter’s white collared shirt, Peter was only vaguely aware of the sound of the phone ringing coming from its spot on his desk.