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James can't sleep. It's not a big surprise, really. He always had a mind that was hard to shut up, always running on a million thoughts at once when he should be sleeping instead. He had managed though, getting it to calm down in time to get some good sleep, but ever since his parents had died it had become a lot harder to find that calm in himself.Forty-five minutes of staring at the ceiling in the dark is where James draws the line though. Groaning, he rolls out of bed and grabs his glasses from the nightstand. Some mindless entertainment is his best bet at this point.Turns out he's not the only one with that idea.“What are we watching?” James asks as he flops down next to Sirius on the couch.“Shouldn't you be sleeping?” Sirius asks but James waves him off, trying to figure out what's going on on the TV screen.“Is that a documentary about penguins?”Sirius nods and adjusts the volume of the TV from a quiet mumble to hearable. “A pretty good one too.”James hums and leans against Sirius' side, making himself comfortable. Sirius lets him without comment.It turns out to be a really good documentary. It's interesting and the voice of the narrator is soothing. The penguins are cute with their little pebble nests, trying to romance a potential mate.Still, James can't keep his eyes on them for long, not when the man right next to him is so much more interesting. The light of the TV is the only one in the room and it basks Sirius' face in light and shadows in a way that's totally fascinating to James.He feels extremely compelled to get Sirius some pebbles too.“What?” Sirius asks after a while, looking at James.And James just leans in and kisses him. Because he can. Because he wants to kiss him outside of dangerous situations, outside of distractions and full of adrenalin. He wants to kiss Sirius in the quiet moments too, like right now in the darkness of his own home with someone talking about penguins in the background.“We really shouldn't,” Sirius mumbles against his lips, but he doesn't pull away. “I'm pretty sure we had a rule.”“That's not a no,” James murmurs and nips at Sirius' bottom lip.Sirius sighs, his eyes fluttering shut again. “There was a reason for that rule, James.”“Fuck the rule,” James says and kisses him again and by the way Sirius is pulling him closer he seems to agree.They make out like teenagers on their first date until James is afraid he will fall asleep and send the totally wrong message about what Sirius' kisses are doing to him. He snuggles in, his face buried in Sirius' neck, his glasses discarded somewhere on the coffee table a long time ago. Sirius' fingers card through his hair and James very nearly purrs.“What are you doing to me?” Sirius mumbles so low James can barely hear him.James has no answer to that, his mind already drifting off to sleep.**James falling asleep cuddled up close to him leaves Sirius with a bit of a problem in his pants and no way for relieve or escape. It might be a sweet kind of torture but it's torture nonetheless.Since there is no way for Sirius to worm his way out from underneath James and have a little wank in private without waking him, his only chance to get rid of his stubborn hard-on is to find some other kind of distraction.Sirius desperately grabs the remote control but the universe seems to hate him very much tonight, immediately punishing him for allowing kisses he shouldn't have.The first channel he zaps to has mating deer, up close and personal. The next has some action movie, but they are right at the part of the passionate make out scene, clothes flying everywhere. MTV dedicates its program to horny bedroom playlists and dancing people that look more like they are dry-humping each other, and the next channel after that has cowboys somewhere in the mountains, getting all hot and bothered in a tent.In a last desperate attempt Sirius switches over to BBC News.
...Which just means the highest possibility to find a romantic partner is at the workplace, not a bar or the party of a friend. Isn't that fascinating?...
Sirius sighs and switches back to the penguins. They at least are already at the stage of having eggs.James lets out a little sigh at Sirius' shoulder and snuggles more into his side. He's cute like that, all relaxed and soft. Sirius is pretty sure he's drooling a little onto his shirt too but he's still kind of adorable, really.Sirius should have known that won't last for long. Of course that man can't help but be an absolute menace even in his sleep. His hand suddenly moves up Sirius' leg and comes to rest on his thigh, pretty close to where Sirius very much craves that attention and really, really shouldn't.Biting his lips, Sirius tries to take a few deep breaths and not think of James' hand on his dick.Maybe it just has been too long. Maybe all Sirius really needs is a good fuck on his next day off to get all those inappropriate thoughts out of his system.He grabs his phone and feels a little guilty when he opens the dating app with James right there, sleeping on him. It can't be helped though, desperate measures and all that.He flips through a few of the available options.A blond guy with a too aggressive smile – no.A redhead with a hunger for adventure, apparently – a bit too young though.Boring.Another no.A guy who looks like he used the same photo he uses on his job applications.Dark curls and hazel eyes combined with a bright, sunny smile make Sirius pause. That's the best one so far so why not.Sirius sends him a quick “hi” and gets an instant “hi :)” in return. They chat a little. It's nice. But that's all it is – nice.Every time Sirius waits for a funny reply or a witty comeback there is nothing. Just an awkward “haha” coming from the guy and a switch of topic. There is nothing wrong with him, not really, he's giving all the right answers and everything but he's just so very boring.At least it helps with the situation in Sirius' pants because his dick is very much uninterested in what's going on here.With a sigh, Sirius eventually exits out of the conversation and sees that he has another message in his inbox. Why the fuck not, it can't get any worse really.Well, Sirius was wrong about that. It's a message from another guy and when he answers the simple greeting he instantly gets a dick pic in return. And it's not even a good one. Bad lighting, tennis socks, and all. And then the guy instantly follows that up with the “did it hurt, falling from the heavens?” line.Well, that's it. Sirius shoots back a quick message, advising the guy to keep that disappointment in his pants and not spring it on people before a date is even in the stars for him, and clicks out of the app.Is it really too much to ask to find someone who's not creepy or boring? Someone who's funny and witty and can keep up with Sirius in a conversation? Someone who's hot but still brainy? Someone maybe a little bit cute too?Someone where the vibe just fits and Sirius might even be tempted to turn it into something more permanent. Someone he could have breakfasts with or take on bike rides. Someone to share his bed for more than one night without Sirius getting tired of them.Someone like –James snores a little and scrunches up his nose in his sleep as Sirius watches him wide eyed.Oh no.No. No. Just, no.Being horny for his client is one thing. That's perfectly understandable. James is hot. And funny. And a little bit cute. And –Sirius is absolutely fucked.This should not be happening. He shouldn't get his heart all twisted up in something that just can't work. There is no way. James doesn't even know his real name, has no clue about his past, and Sirius knows all too well how the Grim doesn't really inspire romance in people.Not that Sirius would be able to tell James about any of it anyway. There is a reason he had to burn his identity and get a new one.Sirius leans his head back on the couch and looks up at the ceiling of the dark room. Maybe if he just takes a few deep breaths and gets back to logical thinking it will all be fine. It will just go away. Maybe he's just imagining things.**He's not imagining things.Somewhere after taking himself down from the panic spiral he must have nodded off because now there is morning sunlight streaming in through the living room windows. Morning sunlight that seems to be especially fond of James.It basks him in a soft golden glow, making him look like he's almost glowing himself. It sets the soft mess of his curls in contrast to the sharp line of his jaw. He looks like a piece of art.James lets out a deep sigh in his sleep and Sirius' heart stumbles a little in his chest.Okay, that's it. He needs help. A far more logical mind that will help him set his own mind straight. Or at least a little less gay.Sirius grabs his phone from where he dropped it on the arm of the couch and opens his messaging app, clicking on Remus' name and sending out a dino emoji.It's an emergency after all.