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Heather Chandler sat in bed, running her fingers through the brunette waves of the unclothed woman on her chest. The taller girl let out a low murmur and leaned into the newfound touch.The room around them was dark with the curtains drawn close, and the lights shut off. The smell of sex floated vaguely in the air the way soft ‘I love yous’ had just moments before. Bodies melded in such a way Heather Chandler never would have thought possible before this moment. Right here.Veronica looked up at Heather Chandler, a smile gracing her face. Her eyelids were drooping shut, curtaining her deep brown eyes in the same way they always did since meeting. Heather Chandler, practically overcome with emotion for the first time, smiled back down at her.“Thank you,” she breathed, pushing her nose into Heather Chandler’s jaw.She shook her head, “Don’t thank me, Ronnie. There’s no need.”Veronica smiled and Heather Chandler was taken back to so many, almost too many, years prior.~~“Hey, Chan!” Veronica called from across the parking lot of their elementary school, holding onto her mom’s hand and waving her other hand wildly.Heather Chandler, who, as always, was walking by herself, turned around, holding on tight to her book bag straps with a nervous smile breaking across her face.As her first time in a dress, and having it happening at school, was anxiety-inducing enough to make her shake and nibble on the ends of her hair, which had been growing out for a few weeks. The dress wasn’t extremely feminine as it was a shade of maroon. It went a few inches past her knees with crimped ends and sleeves.Veronica’s eyebrows wrinkled, but her smile remained, if a little confused, “Um, why are you wearing *that*?Heather Chandler knew this had been coming. She knew that Veronica, ever the observative, even as a second-grader, would notice the outfit. Though, maybe there wasn’t much that wouldn’t be noticed because she *was* in a dress, after all. She swallowed, steeling herself for the conversation ahead, “It’s the way I dress now.”Veronica laughed at that, looking up at her mom, but letting go of her hand, “You can’t wear that, silly. You’re a boy.”Heather Chandler looked up at Veronica’s mother as well, bottom lip quivering. Her face was pitying, but she didn’t correct her daughter. She only leaned down and took Heather Chandler’s hand, “Tell your mommy and daddy that I’m praying for them.Heather Chandler snatched her hand back like it had been burned, eyes brimming with tears, “We don’t go to church anymore.”She wished that it hadn’t come out so pathetic. She wished she wasn’t sitting here like the crying not-boy she had become. She wished that the reason they stopped going to church was because they loved her and not because the only person who took care of her these days was her nanny.She wished. Oh, she wished.The older woman only sighed and straightened back up. She bid farewell to her own daughter like usual while Heather Chandler wiped her eyes, but as she was leaving, she caught her looking over with that expression again.An expression that was mixed with much worry when she saw Veronica talking excitedly to her.Heather Chandler could only stand there in her stupid red dress like she had done something wrong. The only thing she could wonder was *Why was that her reaction?*The true reality of it would only come several years later.When they were walking to class together, Veronica piped up in hopes of getting the unnaturally quiet Heather Chandler to open up, “Sooo, why are you wearing that if you’re a-”Heather Chandler interrupted sharply, “Don’t say it. Don’t call me that word. I’m a girl now and girls wear dresses.”“How can you just… be a girl now?” Veronica asked like she was stupid. It took Heather Chandler much longer to answer that, unsure of the why or the how.“I don’t know,” she whispered. “I don’t know. I just am.”By that point, they were already at the door of the classroom. Veronica just shrugged before waltzing right in, “Okay. That’s fine.”Heather Chandler swallowed, mouth pulling up at the corners, and walked in right behind her.~~A few months later, Veronica had already quickly caught onto the whole “transgender” thing. Much quicker than their teacher or other students had. She corrected everyone with unabashed pride, causing Heather Chandler to smile with her.One day, though, she brought it up, looking down at the worksheet they had been given, “My mom and dad won’t stop calling you a boy. I keep trying to change it, but they won’t listen.”Heather Chandler flinched, making her body smaller, “It’s okay, Veronica.”“I don’t think it is.”Heather Chandler turned to her, annoyance flashing through her chest, “I said that it’s fine.”Veronica put her arm up against hers, “I’m sorry, Heather. I’m really, really sorry.”Heather Chandler smiled at her, very clearly trying to hide her pain, “Not your fault. Thanks, though.”Veronica bumped her shoulder, writing down the answer to one more question. She scooted closer before whispering, “Don’t worry. I’ll keep trying.”
Heather Chandler puffed out her cheeks, fingers twirling in the ends of her lighter hair. By this point, it had grown out to almost her shoulders, giving way to plentiful waves. She bumped Veronica’s shoulder back, already feeling better.~~Over the next few years, Veronica was right beside Heather Chandler the whole time. She snuck into the boy’s bathroom when Heather Chandler needed a friend to guard her stall or hold her shaking figure. She helped her through panic attacks and dysphoric days. She brought Heather Chandler her favourite snacks and read off pages from Moby Dick until things were just a little bit better.Sure, Heather and Heather would do the same, but it wasn’t the same. Heather Duke was too avoidant of Heather Chandler’s touch. And Heather McNamara was too awkward about it, not knowing what to do. Veronica was just the best choice, always sensing what Heather Chandler needed and the moment she did.She’d kiss Heather Chandler and tell her every perfect praise she had. She’d go through the list of all she loved. Eyes, smile, hair, legs, waist, hips, and the list went on and on. Veronica would pull her honey blonde hair into a half ponytail with that red scrunchie and tap her pretty nose.Heather Chandler accepted each compliment with only the small amounts of doubt that not even Veronica could erase. But she tried so hard. She tried to imagine her mother dressing her up and preening about how she always wanted a girl, but she just couldn’t keep her mind on it.
She could keep her mind on Veronica.
~~“Sweet girl, what is your mind on?” Veronica cooed.
Heather Chandler smiled down at her, dropping a kiss on her temple, “Only you.”
“Sure, but I just tried giving you a hickey and you didn’t lean into it. That’s something intense, my bitch,” she widened her eyes. Her hands were placed on Heather Chandler’s hips and her own were rocking lightly.
Heather Chandler laughed, “Babe, my thoughts were only on you. I promise. You as a really cute kid, but still you.
Veronica shifted her body up so that her cheek was pressed against the blonde’s, “You were a pretty cute kid too. No wonder I fell in love with you.”
“Yeah,” Heather Chandler teased those full lips with her thumb nail. “No wonder.”