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4,206 miles. Eight hours and five minutes of flight. Seventeen days on ship. And five hours in time zone difference. That was the distance between Larry and his closest online friend.Possibly, they could be more. He hoped so.She lived some place in Great Britain; She had never specified which part, which he supposed was fair. He wouldn’t share the city he lived in to a person he knew only through the screen of his phone either. However, to say he lived in Georgia was vague enough.He wondered sometimes if her thoughts would wander to the state he lived in. He shared similar thoughts of Britain.Though still, he wished to know more about her life. The long hours in her morning, and in the late night for him, had him enthralled. Everything he learned about her, no matter how small, he treasured.It was a gift to see glimpses of her life, bear witness to slivers of scenery she passed by everyday on her way to school or home. Her desk, pictures of the sun setting or rising, or any photo that she had taken. It was truly a wonder to be such a part of her life, yet so far away.He was so captivated by her, even catching himself laying in his stomach, giggling and kicking his feet in the air while texting her in the crisp weekend mornings where neither of them had school to attend. It was those simple times he remembered at night, nuzzling into his pillow and vibrating with excitement for their interactions to come. And he was ashamed to say that on some occasions, his lips would find that soft fabric, the cloth her skin.Even in school, he would hide his time in class, thinking of their previous conversations and planning out responses to their future ones. She 'd practically taken over his thoughts, and rest assured that he didn’t mind one bit.As soon as he was out of the classroom, not even out of school premises yet, he would check his phone, almost praying for a notification from her. He didn’t even care what it would be. He’d watch every video she sent him, and any message would be read as soon as he could. Unfortunately, he had gotten caught with his phone a few times doing exactly that. Not a shred of regret was within him to spite this.One could say it was her fault he had gotten in trouble with his peers, though his blame would never fall onto her. Perhaps he hadn’t been observative enough to not get walked in on by his teacher. It was him, not her. She was perfect in his eyes, in every way. She was utterly perfect for him.She had no faults that he would ever acknowledge, and any flaws he would forgive without any thought, except for ones purely fixated on her. He would hold her through the night, the warmth between them enough to keep them both content even on the coldest nights.His hand would always be outstretched for hers, his heart always open. He couldn’t even count the times he had fantasized of confessing to her, or for her to spill her feelings for him to easily reciprocate. A giddy, overzealous grin would spread across his face at the thought.His confession, and response had long been thought out. He almost sent them to her on two separate occasions.-“Good morning.” She had sent him one night. He knew she would’ve just gotten up, she was a stickler for rising early and sleeping late.The sun hadn’t even come from beyond the horizon, and he was still compressed to respond similarly. Despite their time zone difference.“Good morning.” He had responded, a small smile already curling his lips. He adored times like this, where the distance between them felt as if it had disappeared with the sweetness of simplicities of such greetings.He could almost be envious of people she would greet every day, walking by them in the road or in a hallway. So casual, so normal for them. He craved that, and his hunger wouldn’t be filled with pixelated words.He wanted her so bad it felt like he needed her. If he weren't in her arms, he was nowhere. She was an utmost necessity. His hopes were filled of her feeling the same, that they could both cling to each other, supporting the other with nothing but themself.“I missed you :)” He had typed out, feeling his heart flutter.“I wasn’t even gone for 7 hours.”“Still.”“I’m joking. Missed you too.” She had responded. He watched her chat bubble pulse with dots on his screen, as if she were typing more, but it had disappeared.He re-read her text. Though words through screens, he had felt himself grow warmer. His phone was left on his bed, and he paced around his room a few laps, movements rushed with happiness rapidly shooting through his systems.Gently had he picked up his phone again, his thumbs almost trembling as he typed out a message.“I’m in love with you. Genuinely. You’re everything to me.”The words seemed to stare at him, his thumb hovering over the send button. His heart pulsed quickly. He almost pressed the button, so close to professing his love, but he deleted the message.Truly, there was nothing holding him back. The time not quite right. He smiled lovingly at her though his phone, and they continued to chat until he had passed out in his bed, dreaming of the girl so far away
-All he could do was wait for either, or he accidentally would let this girl slip from his fingers. He hoped that would never happen. A lump caught in his throat.She was so far away, her heat so distant. Overseas was the love of his life. Did he know how to swim?He exhaled, breathing into his pillow. His mind seemed to wander to thoughts he had purposely pushed away, for good reason.They would never meet. An entire ocean between them, not to mention half a country. He would never be graced with the ability to hold her hand as they walked, to kiss her cheek gently before melting into slumber in her embrace. Never get the opportunity to partake in simple luxuries like shopping together, or buying her elaborate gifts of her favorite things and food. He would never have her gaze fixed on him, soft and laden with love and affection.He was getting ahead of himself, really.Small, salty stains had dripped onto his pillow without him knowing.Would she ever even love him? Someone she knew through her phone. Would she even date him through a glass screen?Did she even see him as, even possibly, more than a friend overseas?His stomach turned on him, clenching and catching his heart that had sunk. She would never love him, and he was a delusional man to ever think she would. She was not his, and would never be his.His body curled around the pillow, his heart squeezing itself tight. His gaze bore into the wall, hot with tears. He was foolish for putting himself into this predicament of one-sided love.The lump in his throat clung stubbornly as he tried to swallow. His fingers dug into his pillow, desperate for that fantasy of the girl sleeping soundlessly in his arms.4,206 miles was the distance between them, and the distance his affection would fail straining to reach to.