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“A-Are you sure everything’s all set? What if I just—?”Before his darling wife could finish his anxious words, he was already reaching out to take his hand in reassurance while still balancing their chubby, cute little baby in his other arm. “We’ve already checked five times now,” he said tenderly. “Don’t worry. You have everything you need, and I have everything I need.”Their baby gurgled as if in agreement, also stretching out his little hands toward Li Chengxiu. “Shao Qun…” The small, gentle man in front of him with slightly curly hair blinked a few times before his eyebrows began to relax. He took their son’s hand and shook it up and down slowly. “You’re right—we shouldn’t be missing anything now…”“Of course! There’s no need to stress yourself out, Chengxiu—you’ve got this. Although…” He paused as he grinned, a tad forlornly. “Personally, I’m still missing one thing I need.”“Wh-What is it?”“You,” he replied immediately, leaning down to kiss his precious Li Chengxiu on the forehead before the other could get too anxious. He watched in affectionate amusement as the face across from him quickly flushed a light pink, as if the two of them were out in public as a new couple rather than at home as husband and wife. “Shao Qun, be serious,” he chided softly. “I am being serious.” He reached out to stroke Li Chengxiu’s cheek. “I’m going to miss you very, very much, Laopo.”“It’s only four days…”“Four days is a lot too! It’s almost a week! Don’t you think so?”“Mn.” Li Chengxiu’s face was reddening even further. “I-I’ll…miss you too.”Hearing that made Shao Qun beam. “So don’t overthink it,” he emphasized again. “Even if this trip is so sudden that we can’t even get in touch with our nannies all because of these stupid sudden obstacles that company caused us, Gu-zong and Yuan-zong are at least willing to see you about a new contract despite technically travelling in Shanghai, which means the collaboration will likely go through. And even if they weren’t interested, I believe you’d handle it well and convince them anyway.“With or without nannies, I’ll be sure to take care of Zhengzheng to the very best of my abilities; you can head out on your business trip without worry.”“Okay…”“Because you are really capable and skilled and hardworking.” He could see Li Chengxiu was still unsure, so he expressed this firmly, meaning every word he said. He would never forget how far Li Chengxiu had gone in proving his strength when Shao Qun had once viewed him as a mere sissy. He’d been indelibly stupid back then, not valuing Li Chengxiu when he first had him, and it had driven this mild-mannered, patient soul away. After that, he’d chased after Li Chengxiu so hard for so long, but Li Chengxiu had never budged toward him, always leaving in a fashion that felt merciless to Shao Qun’s bitterly regretful heart. Now they were together again. Now he was determined to treat Li Chengxiu right as his proper wife, and that included letting him do the work he wanted to do outside of home, and they had a son to take care of, which meant he had to bear part of the responsibility too. He’d once treated Li Chengxiu like some household nanny, which he would never do again. Which was exactly why…“We’ll wait patiently for your return,” he vowed. Li Chengxiu nodded slowly before being distracted by Zhengzheng’s noises, causing him to glance down and take his hand again. “Zhengzheng, be good for Daddy, okay? I’ll be home in a few days. Daddy will look after you.” His brow furrowed as some anxiety seeped back into his tone. “He has more diapers in the closet of his room, in a basket under the clothes… A-And there’s a lot of baby food and milk powder in the cabinets; try to get him to eat the one with mashed peas…“He can have a lot of energy at night, so you can try playing with him more or…maybe singing him a lullaby or reading him a bedtime story… But if you can’t do that, h-he particularly likes being held, so you can try to pick him up and rock him a bit more… And…”“Mn, I got it, Xifu’er,” he promised. “Really, don’t worry! I’m his dad too; I can handle this. I’ve already carefully memorized your instructions one by one, including where the best storybooks are and which lullabies he likes.” He pursed his lips in a pout. “But aren’t you forgetting something?”“Is it the USB drive? I was worried I would forget it… Or maybe a document?” Li Chengxiu was already looking down at his bag, as if he were going to open it and inspect it for the sixth time. Realizing his poor choice of words, Shao Qun quickly stepped forward. “I meant me,” he clarified, his voice more coquettish than he’d intended. His companion blinked, appearing slightly stunned. “Aren’t you going to worry at all about me?” he pressed, unable to hide how eager he was for an answer. “Worried about…you?”Shao Qun couldn’t help but pout a little more, his cheeks puffing out almost unconsciously. “Yes.”“But…I’ve already left you some food for the next few days that you can just heat up each meal, and I also know you’re capable of taking care of Zhengzheng…”He felt warm pride swell in his chest at his partner’s high view of him—yet he couldn’t resist adding lightly, “Chengxiu… I meant, can you maybe pay me a little attention too, Laopo? I’ll miss you very, very, very much. I’ll miss you every single second of every day.”Li Chengxiu stopped before blushing again, his eyes widening. “O-Oh…”The two fell into an affectionate silence as Zhengzheng cooed, before Shao Qun cleared his throat. “Then…can you do something to help alleviate me missing you…?”Li Chengxiu’s face grew ever redder but he nodded, standing up on tiptoe to kiss him. It was a tender, sweet kiss, not filled with the passion and possessiveness that Shao Qun was often tempted to show when kissing Li Chengxiu, but it captured all the love he felt for the smaller man—except even better, because it was Li Chengxiu kissing him, meaning he was experiencing the other’s love for him. Knowing that made his own surge. Shao Qun grinned after Li Chengxiu let him go, and he ended up pulling him in for one last kiss. When that was over, he finally felt ready to let him leave. “Go ahead,” he breathed, resting his forehead against his. “Jiayou, Xifu’er. Your son and husband will be looking forward to your return home.”He waved goodbye to his wife with a loving smile before finally closing the door, which was also when he lowered his head to gaze down at their son. Zhengzheng stared right back with his big, shining eyes. He really did look a lot like Li Chengxiu. Shao Qun’s lips quirked as he very lightly pinched the baby’s chubby cheek. “Okay little buddy, now it’s just you and me…”And maybe he’d actually used a bit too much force after all or maybe Zhengzheng’s infant brain had finally registered that one of his daddies was gone, because he immediately opened his mouth and began to wail.  Shao Qun jumped, startled, causing Zhengzheng to cry harder. He began rocking him with wide eyes, cooing, “Ai, don’t cry, don’t cry…”He found himself repeating such words over and over, his voice growing exasperated as the seconds ticked by. Five minutes later, he was lamenting the fact this would be his life for the next few days. No wife there to comfort the baby, and even more tragically, no wife there to comfort him. If Li Chengxiu was here, Shao Qun would still naturally try to help with the baby too, even if he did find the little guy annoying at times (especially when he interrupted his attempts to enjoy an intimate moment with Li Chengxiu). But it was no secret that Li Chengxiu was better at this stuff than he was, and most of all, at least if he was at home, he could offer encouragement and comfort to Shao Qun who was trying his best. Shao Qun sighed to himself, lifting the baby to hold him against his chest. Maybe he’s hungry…? It’s been a while since breakfast, after all; I can try preparing some milk and see if that helps… With that idea in mind, he soothingly rubbed Zhengzheng’s fuzzy hair and walked into the family room, preparing to put him down in the playpen. Except…Zhengzheng began wailing even harder.  “Wh-What’s wrong now?” he questioned, rushing to lift him back up and study him. “Your diaper seems empty and I didn’t even do anything this time besides try to…set you down…” His lips fell open slightly. “Wait, do you…not want to be put down?”Zhengzheng whimpered in response, sticking his tiny hands out. Shao Qun felt a strong streak of tender affection in his chest despite himself. “You don’t want to be alone? You want to be with Daddy?”This time, Zhengzheng clapped his palms onto Shao Qun’s cheeks, babbling. He grinned. “Sure. You can stay with Daddy. Let me just find something to carry you in… I think we have one of those baby wraps somewhere around here…”After saying that, he began the difficult task of searching their entire home with one arm while balancing a still blubbering baby in his other arm. Shao Qun was nothing if not stubborn, so even though it took fifteen minutes, he eventually found it—in the pile of toys on their dog Teacup’s bed, of all places. He turned to frown at the tiny, fluffy brown dog sitting by his feet who was watching intently as he went through its things. “Who told you you could have this?” he scolded. “This is for the baby. Chengxiu may be kind enough to treat you as a baby of the family, but there’s still a difference!”Teacup barked back at him, as if in indignant disagreement. He stepped around the tiny terror still barking and weaving around his feet, beginning a clumsy attempt to get the wrap around himself. This apparently amused Zhengzheng enough for him to start giggling again. Shao Qun stopped his attempt to tie the fabric to him and glanced at his son. “Are you feeling better? Does that mean I don’t have to put this on?” He made to set Zhengzheng on the floor, but then Zhengzheng started tearing up again. “Okay, okay! I’ll pick you back up,” he cried desperately, swinging the stubborn baby upwards. The finished product was probably quite a sight to behold; it was unlikely anyone—enemies, employees, colleagues, and even friends and family—could imagine the Shao-zong, wearing a wrinkled white button-up that was actually barely buttoned up properly with a couple stains on it, his sleeves rolled up to his forearms, with fabric messily wrapped all around his torso to balance the chubby little baby he was carrying around like he was…pregnant. Shao Qun himself couldn’t quite believe it either when he glanced in the mirror. He looked down at Zhengzheng. “I hope you’re satisfied.”His son clapped and cooed in reply. Such a confirmation meant Shao Qun really couldn’t complain. He smiled exasperatedly, patting the baby on the butt. “Besides your father, my wife, and the best person on this planet, I haven’t ever spoiled anyone like this before. Be grateful, kiddo.”He made his way into the kitchen, where he began heating up the milk bottle. He’d done it plenty of times before, so there shouldn’t have been any issues, except…
Ding!

Ding!

Ding! Ding! Ding!
Shao Qun could feel a vein popping. Who the fuck is texting me!? He’d set aside time off for this weeks ago—there shouldn’t have been anything so urgent as to blow up his phone. While the pot had not yet heated up, he snatched up his phone in irritation to check. Sure enough, it wasn’t anything urgent. It was his cousin, Zhao Jinxin, sending him a bunch of texts…about his trip with his own lover, the—in Shao Qun’s eyes—annoyingly upright boyfriend-stealer Li Shuo, to Canada, of all places. 
‘Check it out! We just got to our hotel and it looks pretty nice, right?’
Attached was a photo of the ski resort they were staying at, their room, the restaurant they’d gone to eat dinner at, the two of them together in various places and poses, and—most annoying of all—a photo of Li Shuo himself.  ‘What are you spamming me pictures of your trip for!?’ Shao Qun typed back angrily. ‘And get that Li Shuo guy off my screen.’ He may have become a tad more civil to Li Shuo since gaining him as a “sister-in-law,” but he still had little interest in seeing more of him than necessary. And pictures of Li Shuo on his little lovers’ trip with his cousin definitely felt superfluous. 
‘Ge, don’t be so mean. I just wanted to report to you our safe arrival and share with you my excitement. Is that so wrong?’ 
As usual, his green tea didi adopted an exaggeratedly wronged tone when faced with his temper, even sending a sad lamb sticker that looked down with creased brows as it poked its hooves together pitifully.  ‘Don’t play pitiful with me.’ Shao Qun’s fingers flew quickly. He was feeling particularly vexed today, perhaps because seeing photos of Zhao Jinxin and Li Shuo getting to be happy together on a romantic getaway was reminding him of his own lover being so far away from him.  
‘Ge, what’s wrong with you?

‘I’m just sharing about my trip. There’s no need to be so upset.

‘Is it because you’re missing Saozi?

‘Come on, Ge, cheer up! Don’t be too sad. He’ll be back soon.

‘Then you can go on a trip like our little romantic one too~’
This last message was followed by a giggling sheep sticker with its hoof covering its mouth, seemingly snickering at him in a mocking fashion. The sudden influx of texts again caused another vein to pop, especially with them poking at his sore spot—and trying to follow them made him nearly forget to check the bottle, so when he finally remembered to reach for the pot, he was so distracted that he burned himself. “Ouch! Fuck!” he cursed, grabbing his now reddened hand. He quickly turned on the tap to run it under cold water, and he could still hear his phone going off as Zhao Jinxin sent a few more texts. Fully fed up, he grabbed his phone and held the message box to send a voice text that consisted of him yelling, “For fuck’s sake, Zhao Jinxin! Stop bothering me already!”This startled Zhengzheng enough that he started crying again, and Shao Qun let out a tired groan. It was going to be a long, long four days. Burning himself at least meant the bottle was unquestionably warm now. Once the formula was prepared and the temperature had been tested on his wrist, he fed his moody baby and found himself finally relaxing even as he had to hold a pack of frozen corn against his burn. It was probably true what they said about a man’s stomach being the way to his heart. Li Chengxiu’s cooking skills absolutely added to his charm in Shao Qun’s eyes, and now Zhengzheng was proving that hangry was a real emotion that needed addressing if one wanted peace in their life.  But when it came to Shao Qun… He stared down at the new stain on his shirt from burping Zhengzheng and sighed. He barely had the energy to feel hungry or angry right now, let alone go eat.The inability to get mad may come across as a surprise to anyone who knew him and his infamous foul temper, but he really was too tired. And even if it was leftovers, not having Li Chengxiu around to accompany him utterly weakened his appetite.  Gurgling sounded beside him and he turned to see the tiny dumpling responsible for his misfortune clapping his hands and crawling toward him. He found his lips twitching upwards as he reached out to block the baby from falling off the sofa. “You can be quite bratty, do you know that?” He grabbed Zhengzheng’s foot and pulled him closer. Zhengzheng clapped and giggled at the speed, and Shao Qun couldn’t help swinging him slightly. This amused both of them but he knew he couldn’t be too rough with the baby, so he put him down and sat with him on the carpet. “Daddy will play with you for a bit, okay? Then we’re both going to take a nap because Daddy is very tired, okay?”Zhengzheng cooed and Shao Qun shook his hand hard. “You got a deal,” he announced while Zhengzheng laughed. Playing with a baby was truly good stress relief for having to take care of a baby. In spite of his exhaustion, Shao Qun found himself fully enveloped in the fun of building towers with his son and rattling toys and pushing small cars and pressing noise-making buttons. Unfortunately, the moments of stress in looking after a baby generally outweighed the easier moments. Even with all the love in his heart, Shao Qun would probably always have a hard time fully accepting how messy a baby really was. As he threw the second dirty diaper of the day into the trash, he was struck with a kind of confidence though. He’d absolutely gotten more accustomed to this kind of work and lifestyle since having Zhengzheng. Li Chengxiu had once sent him to a farm for a TV show to learn how hard the common people laboured so he could be less wasteful, and he’d certainly taken the lesson to heart. He wanted to be someone Li Chengxiu and Zhengzheng could fully rely on. And now he believed he was becoming that…Until mealtime, when Zhengzheng’s stubbornness reared its head again. Li Chengxiu had requested he feed him the one with mashed peas, but their son seemed to prefer using it as paint instead—with Shao Qun serving as his canvas. By the time dinner was finally finished, Shao Qun tossed both his shirt and pants into the laundry basket.He flopped down onto the bed in his pyjamas after a quick shower. He felt more tired than most days running his company, and it was only the first day. Even sadder was the fact that unlike his work days, he couldn’t just come home to a loving wife and baby. He really missed Li Chengxiu. It was hard to believe he—domineering, proud Shao Qun who could afford anything and anyone—could ever feel so helplessly attached to and in love with one person, but now it felt as if he would always be falling deeper for Li Chengxiu. That kind of affection couldn’t be bought—it was a rare treasure, and after nearly losing it, then trying so, so hard to get it back, and finally getting to see Li Chengxiu’s walls come down around him once more… Of course he would be swept up in the joy such love brought him. The soft-spoken man he’d fallen for was as gentle as he was firm, and it was both these features combined that had torn down Shao Qun’s arrogance. He would never forget the pain and fear he was hit with upon realization that Li Chengxiu’s intense and patient love for him had been ruined by his own hands. That such a forgiving person could also be pushed to a point where he could not forgive him again… Shao Qun had been absolutely devastated during those days, so desperate for the man to give him another chance that he’d even lowered himself to all kinds of pathetic acts and appearances. He’d tried every method he could think of to get Li Chengxiu to trust him again—including some decisions he wasn’t entirely proud of. But thankfully it had worked out. Thankfully, the difference between back then and now was clear. And now he could video call his wife as soon as he missed him. Shao Qun didn’t even hesitate and whipped out his phone for the person he’d pinned to the top of his WeChat contact list. Li Chengxiu picked up after only three seconds, but even those three seconds felt like eternity to Shao Qun. And seeing that fair, little face come on-screen made him perk right up, even if he couldn’t stop his voice from sounding slightly aggrieved when he called out, “Xifu’er…”“Shao Qun,” Li Chengxiu greeted gently. “How have things been? Did you two have fun? Is Zhengzheng asleep? Did you—?”“I put Zhengzheng to bed,” he reported faithfully, in case the other man felt too anxious. Li Chengxiu’s tone was as soft as ever, but Shao Qun could hear the tiny amount of worry in it. Now if only… “Xifu’er, what about me?”“I-I was going to ask about you next,” Li Chengxiu replied quietly. “Before you interrupted me…”Shao Qun blinked a few times, taken aback, before his lips stretched into a grin. It was really cute seeing Li Chengxiu (try to) be feisty after they’d grown closer as a couple. “Really?”“Mn, really.”He was beaming now, leaning in to tap the screen with his forehead lovingly. “I’m doing fine. I told you I could handle it, didn’t I?”“Mn, you did.” Li Chengxiu smiled as well. Seeing that made Shao Qun’s heart palpitate. He really wished he could reach out and touch him right now—to pull him in close and then kiss those small, pink lips until they were a shining red. And to feel that plush, pale skin beneath his hands before pushing him down onto the bed as they entwined their fingers… “Chengxiu,” he called again. “Mn?”“I miss you.”Li Chengxiu’s eyes widened as a blush took over his cheeks and he stammered, “I-It’s only been one day…”“But it feels like forever,” he complained, rolling over so that he was lying on his stomach. “We haven’t seen each other in nearly twelve hours. Don’t you miss me at all?”“I miss…both of you…”“But what about me specifically?”Li Chengxiu glanced down, biting his lip. Shao Qun waited, but part of him felt a slight anxiety. He and Li Chengxiu had been reconciled for so long, and he knew for the most part that Li Chengxiu no longer viewed their relationship warily and that he enjoyed his company. But this was his first time being out on a large-scale business trip, and to be gone for a longer period of time… Did he suddenly find that he preferred this kind of lifestyle to the tiny home they’d built? Shao Qun had practically bound him to his side using Zhengzheng, after all—was there really no resentment left from that? Was Li Chengxiu viewing this time outside as finding freedom?He found himself sitting up straighter even as he tried to tell himself not to be paranoid. “Chengxiu…”“I-I…I’ve missed you too.”The words came like a sudden rain, light yet such sweet relief after what felt like heated anxiety. Shao Qun’s shoulders instantly relaxed. “I’ve missed you too, Chengxiu! So much!”Li Chengxiu gazed at him before smiling. “I know. You said so already.”“Yeah, I guess I did.” He grinned, a little foolishly. Li Chengxiu could really bring out every side of him, including the childish happiness at getting confirmation that the one he loved loved him too. “But I can’t ever stress enough how much I cherish you in my heart, do you know?”The smaller man’s flush deepened at a speed visible even on the phone screen, and he nodded minutely. “Plus I’ve been wanting to see you to cheer myself up all day because that idiot Jinxin provoked me again.”“Zhao Jinxin…? What did he do?”“He sent me photos of his stupid ski trip! Who cares about that? And he even included his couple pictures—he was obviously purposefully feeding me dog food.”“He and Li-dage have already reached Canada?” Li Chengxiu perked up in what was clearly curiosity. “How are they doing?”He huffed. “How else could they be doing? They’re fine. Let’s not talk about them—not that dumbass Jinxin or that”—he paused, trying to think of a name to call Li Shuo that wouldn’t result in Li Chengxiu scolding him—“nosy Li Shuo.”“Shao Qun.” Li Chengxiu’s voice took on a chiding tone despite Shao Qun’s efforts to soften his word choice. “I know, I know. They’re really fine though—let them enjoy their trip. Besides, we’re the ones still working hard at home, so we shouldn’t focus on them getting to be all relaxed, or else we might feel jealous.”Li Chengxiu shook his head at his emphasis on the word “jealous,” but thankfully he was smiling again. It seemed Shao Qun had managed to avoid the Russian roulette of a topic that Li Shuo could sometimes be by making it amusing rather than unpleasant. Shao Qun sat back against the pillows and asked, “So what about you? How has your day been? You haven’t tired yourself out, have you? You better be getting a lot of rest and water…”“I’m doing well too. Our first meeting was actually quite productive—I think Gu-zong seemed fairly satisfied with our proposal.”“Of course! They had my very capable wife on the team, after all,” he said proudly. Li Chengxiu looked shy yet happy. “It wasn’t through my effort alone; everyone’s worked really hard.”“Yes, our team is quite good this time around, and I’m all the more relieved with you there to supervise.”These words made Li Chengxiu appear even happier, and Li Chengxiu’s happiness made Shao Qun happy. He listened as Li Chengxiu described his day, and hearing of his experience wandering around Shanghai made him wish he was there to accompany him… Why couldn’t we have had a couple’s trip too!? He couldn’t help feeling resentment at Zhao Jinxin—both for being on the trip at all and for rubbing it in his face, making his longing stronger. By the time it was his turn to speak again, he commented, “It sounds like you’ve had fun”—he could see Li Chengxiu nodding at this—“but what about having some more fun, Laopo?”Li Chengxiu’s eyes grew large. Shao Qun longed to teasingly strip him while kissing his cheeks, his nose, and his lips…“We’ve never done it over video call before.” Shao Qun smirked as he pulled the collar of his silk pyjamas down an iota. “Do you want to try?”“Sh-Shao Qun…”He hooked his finger into a button and slowly tugged it free. “I’ll get us started—”Unfortunately, he hadn’t even gotten past three buttons before a shrill cry suddenly pierced the air, startling the both of them. Li Chengxiu jumped as he tried to look through the screen. “That was Zhengzheng,” he said anxiously. The sound transformed into one of crying. 
Fuck!
“Shao Qun, you should go check on him…”He could feel the boulder crashing back down onto his back, breaking his spine in the same way it broke the atmosphere and his dreams of seeking some pleasure. “It’s all right; let him cry—it’s good for babies to cry a bit more, especially with him being a boy. We can keep going—”“Shao Qun!”He let out a disgruntled sigh. “I know, I know. I wasn’t seriously going to ignore him,” he muttered, dragging himself upwards. He’d already guessed that Li Chengxiu wouldn’t be swayed by his words, but he’d been desperate enough to try anyway. He was used to only being priority number three in this household, after all; meanwhile, Li Chengxiu always rushed to Zhengzheng’s room as soon as the tiny brat started bawling as priority number one, which included abandoning any moment he was sharing with Shao Qun. He carried Li Chengxiu via the phone to Zhengzheng’s room, where he picked up the unhappy baby and began rocking him. “Don’t cry, don’t cry,” he cajoled, ruffling his fluffy hair. “Daddy’s here.”Li Chengxiu also called out to him soothingly, and in four minutes, Zhengzheng had gone from sobbing to sniffling. Shao Qun felt exhausted at this point, staring dazedly at the screen as he balanced the baby and his phone in either hand. “Shao Qun, you look rather tired. You should sleep soon—I also won’t bother you anymore tonight.”“Okay, Baobei-er,” he answered reflexively, still rather spaced out. “Then good night. Sleep well, both of you!”“Mn… Wait, huh!? Xifu’er, don’t—”He’d snapped back to reality too late, however. Li Chengxiu had already ended the call. “—Hang up…”Shao Qun stood there blankly. What just happened!? He’d only just calmed their son and the call was already over? He hadn’t had a chance to convince Li Chengxiu to try something new over the phone yet! He hadn’t been paying enough attention to register the need to coax Li Chengxiu out of his shyness into saying “I love you” before hanging up!! He himself hadn’t even gotten to say the words either!! Perhaps sensing his abnormality, Zhengzheng started tearing up again, pushing against Shao Qun’s chest in protest. “Ah, don’t cry again,” he tried to command, but a baby did as a baby wanted, and the tears began to roll down. Shao Qun sighed in defeat. Taking care of a baby was really, really goddamn fucking hard. Waking up the next morning saw him feeling as though there were cobwebs in his brain. He was disoriented for a while, wondering why there was no wife in his arms, and he had to slowly register that Li Chengxiu was on a business trip and he was alone at 6:30 am, being conscious so early because Zhengzheng was crying again. He’d managed to get him back to sleep at around 10:30 last night after telling him a bedtime story—basically all about missing his wife in his despair at the early end to their chat—and then he’d been woken up like three times in between because of Zhengzheng’s fussing. Shao Qun wasn’t certain what it was; maybe Zhengzheng really did recognize the fact that Li Chengxiu was missing. He almost couldn’t blame his son for it—he undoubtedly felt like crying when he thought about how long Li Chengxiu had to be gone from home and how that meant he didn’t have any warm body to cuddle with or hug into his arms. …Like right now. Groaning, he covered his face with an arm. He really didn’t want to get up. He was still sleepy! Plus it wasn’t like he had work today—how nice would it have been if he could sleep in…and if only he could go back to sleep with Li Chengxiu in his arms, and then they could have breakfast together at 8:30 instead of 6:30…As much as he complained inside though, Zhengzheng was his son, after all, and his heartache soon won out even in the face of his sleepiness. He jumped out of bed and ran to Zhengzheng, scooping the baby up and comforting him once more. He’d never been all that good at reassuring others, but Zhengzheng was absolutely making him put the practice in. Li Chengxiu and Zhengzheng were the only ones who helped him learn how to be softer. But that didn’t mean he was that good at it. Getting Zhengzheng to stop crying still took a while, and he found himself once again mourning Li Chengxiu’s absence. Thankfully, there were traces of his lovely wife everywhere, including in the food he ate. He found himself cheering up at the taste of Li Chengxiu’s cooking, even if it was leftovers. It also helped him register the mindset of: My wife is so amazing! He’s out there tackling both the domestic affairs and the business world!! I need to match that energy!!! As such, the father and son had a nice, warm breakfast.Shao Qun felt energized and motivated to take on the new day—and having learned from yesterday, he decided to take Zhengzheng and Teacup out on a walk later to hopefully tire them both out. Their home had a pretty nice community, which included a playground and a park nearby. Zhengzheng was still too young for what the playground offered, but a walk through the park was excellent. It was lively too, with people of all kinds practicing their musical instruments—including one man badly playing the rather loud suona. Music blared from stereos as ayis began morning square dancing, and lao yeyes played xiangqi and other games. Teacup ran around excitedly and Shao Qun soon found the leash tangling. It didn’t help that as he began unwinding it, Teacup would run in another direction. “Damn it, stop moving!” he shouted. Teacup paused before sticking his nose up at him as if it knew what he was saying. Then it marched right over to him and…peed very close to his shoe. “Fuck!”He jumped back and thankfully it wasn’t a lot. This wasn’t the first time this troublesome dog had aimed its pee at his footwear though. “I really don’t know what I was thinking when I gave you to Chengxiu,” he said sullenly as he wiped his shoe just in case. It was a thought he’d had more than once. Teacup barked back in response.  It is what it is, he sighed to himself. Their relationship had technically improved over the years, but he and Teacup were likely not going to completely stop butting heads anytime soon. Dog pee seemed a small price to pay though when Zhengzheng fell asleep in the afternoon. The nap allowed Shao Qun both some peace and quiet and time to get some work done. He may have asked for leave, but that didn’t mean he had nothing to do. Along with Li Chengxiu’s trip, there were other plans to consider too. Unfortunately, there came another price to pay: after another lengthy dinner time of guaranteeing Zhengzheng ate most of his food, he was not tired at all and thus refused to sleep. Shao Qun ended up planting him down on the sofa and then crouching down until he was at eye-level with the baby. He narrowed his eyes at Zhengzheng, with the two having what was essentially a stare-down. 
One, two, three…
As the seconds ticked by, he thought about a lot of things. He thought about company matters he still needed to attend to, how to get Zhengzheng to go to sleep (would bribery work on a baby?), and most of all, he—once again—moped over not having Li Chengxiu around as support. 
…Twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two…
Zhengzheng also gazed back at his father, laughing and clapping his hands in amusement. At one point, he even pressed his palm onto Shao Qun’s eye. “Stop that,” he warned. Zhengzheng merely laughed. 
Thirty-two, thirty-three, thirty-four…
In the end, their silent “contest” was broken by Zhengzheng growing distracted by Teacup wandering around below them. When he attempted to grab the dog, Shao Qun pressed him back to keep him from falling off the couch cushion. “What am I to do with you?” he muttered, mostly to himself.  Shao Qun watched his son mess about with his arm on the sofa for a while before asking, “All right, do you want a bedtime story, a stuffed animal, or a lullaby?”This might as well have been as rhetorical as his last question, considering that Zhengzheng, naturally, did not understand or care, simply cooing as he slobbered on Shao Qun’s arm.So the overbearing chairman Shao Qun made an executive decision: they were going to try all three!In the same vein as last night, he told Zhengzheng a bedtime story. Except this time his brain was too fried to make one up, so he read him one on Ye Xian, an ancient, Cinderella-esque folktale. When that didn’t work, he began holding up every stuffy Zhengzheng had. The boy happily cuddled with a few of them, with plushies of a rabbit, lion, puppy, and teddy bear being his favourites, but none of them made him actually fall asleep!Shao Qun was beginning to feel like he was losing his mind—he’d never been a patient man to begin with, and he himself was already quite unreasonable… How was he supposed to communicate with a baby then, who was even more unreasonable!?In desperation, he began stealing some of Teacup’s plush toys as offerings too, but none of them worked either. That was how the overbearing and usually commanding chairman Shao Qun ended up singing to his son in some semblance of a lullaby: “What do you want from me~? What do you fucking want from meeee~?”This did not work either. Zhengzheng laughed instead, clapping his little hands as he obviously grew more energized from excitement. This left Shao Qun himself unsure whether to laugh…or cry. 
Probably cry, to be honest. 
And so overbearing and usually commanding and tenacious chairman Shao Qun actually lowered his head in defeat. “Seriously, what the fuck do you want from me?” he whispered tiredly. He really wasn’t all that good at coaxing people. Unlike…His eyes widened and he bounced back to life as he thought of someone who did know all about the art of coaxing and being coaxed.He rushed to pull out his phone to open the WeChat messages he shared with the sajiao master and his idiot cousin, Zhao Jinxin.
‘Hey Jinxin, do you have any coaxing tips?’
After that text was sent, he sat and tapped his foot as he waited impatiently. Zhengzheng stared up at him, and he stared down at Zhengzheng—the countdown had begun anew. 
One, two, three…
Shao Qun lost count after one minute and thirty seconds. This only served to render the wait all the more grating. And it didn’t help that when Zhao Jinxin finally replied, all he sent back was ‘Ge, I thought you didn’t want me to bother you anymore :c’ He glowered at Zhao Jinxin’s avatar, which had been changed into one of him and that equally annoying Li Shuo guy. Shao Qun felt so irritated that he was tempted to block his cousin.   But first, he texted back, ‘You’re right, I don’t want you fucking bothering me! So just forget it and go back to being annoying with your annoying husband.’ This time, the reply came quickly: ‘You got it. :D’ Shao Qun felt another vein pop. A very big one this time. And now he was really considering blocking his idiot cousin this time around…yet before he could press the button, Zhao Jinxin finally texted him some baby soothing tips.  ‘Li-shushu told me to stop teasing you,’ his cousin added at the end, actually still teasing him. Shao Qun wasn’t sure how likely it was Li Shuo had come upon his misery by peeking over Zhao Jinxin’s shoulder, if Zhao Jinxin had deliberately shown him, or if Zhao Jinxin was just completely bullshitting in an attempt to make Li Shuo look better in Shao Qun’s eyes.All three options sounded unpleasant and Shao Qun’s response indicated as such:
‘Zhao Jinxin, are you looking for a beating? You think I can’t catch you just because you’re in Canada?’

‘Ge, whatever do you mean? We’re helping you out, yet you’re not even going to give us a thank you?’
This was followed by a sticker of a sad, crying lamb, as if Shao Qun was the bad guy here. He had to resist the urge to grab Zhao Jinxin through the screen and strangle him, furiously typing back a ‘Then I better thank you huh’ before really blocking him and throwing his phone aside. At least the tips worked. They worked well enough that he did unblock Zhao Jinxin sooner rather than later. He wasn’t going to say thank you again, even if he could be more sincere about it now, but he did feel quite relieved when he stood by the crib and watched Zhengzheng sleeping peacefully. He lowered his hand and stroked his hair lightly. You’re clearly such a little guy—why do you have to be such a handful? Where do you even store all that energy and lung capacity, you brat?Regardless of his harsh words, his lips quirked up without him even recognizing it, his touch tender and careful. And when he finally tiptoed out of Zhengzheng’s room, he found himself melting into an exhausted puddle. It took a lot of energy to drag himself to the master bedroom and just barely wash up.  He didn’t go to sleep right away though, because…“Hello?”He had someone he wanted to see, even if it was only through a video call. “Chengxiuuuu,” he cried quietly, flopping down on the bed.   “Shao Qun, you sound tired… Is everything okay?”“Ah, it’s all good.” He forced a smile. “What about you? How are things where you are?”“Everything’s been going well here too…”He listened to Li Chengxiu recount how things had been, and the smaller man’s soft voice became almost like a lullaby. It soothed him, but he continued to resist the lull of sleep, lest he miss any more of his wife’s presence than he had to. Li Chengxiu finished up his account when he noticed that Shao Qun had half of his face pressed into the pillow, his eyes barely open. It made his heart beat twice in a strange combination of worry and affection and heartache. Because at this moment, the Shao Qun who could be so cold and intimidating yet also so brash and haughty, now appeared incredibly docile—like a sleeping cat rather than a fierce lion. This was only enhanced by his rumpled pyjamas and his now ungelled hair, which looked soft to the touch, with loose strands curling around his temples. “Shao Qun…?”“Hmm…?”Even his murmured response was sleepy. “If you’re too tired, I’ll hang up first and let you get some good rest—”Shao Qun’s eyes snapped open. He scrambled to sit up more and grab his phone. “Wait, wait, don’t go yet! Chengxiu, since everything’s gone so smoothly, do you think you’ll still be coming back on the night of the fourth day as planned, or…?”“Mn, I think it’s accurate. Even if we finish earlier, I’ve already promised Xiaohui and Luo Yi that we’ll go shopping together in the afternoon of the fourth day…”“Oh…” The disappointment slipped into his tone unconsciously, but Shao Qun was quickly rejuvenated. He was a businessman, after all—he knew how long and how hard some business trips and collaborations had to take. Plus I need to show Chengxiu I’m someone he can rely on, damn it! He’d been too awful in the past. Now that he was finally letting Li Chengxiu do what he wanted, which included working, he had to let Li Chengxiu handle things. His wife had already proven how strong and even ruthless he could be. Just as I thought this morning, he reminded himself, Li Chengxiu is amazing. And I need to pull my weight too…
Even if I don’t always see the appeal of raising these little things. 
He thought so, but at the same time, he was already recalling the feeling of holding Zhengzheng in his arms as the boy giggled and grabbed at his fingers. Or how it felt to see Li Chengxiu right beside him, with Zhengzheng between them like an encapsulation of their love—one that had started off rough, but had ended well. And the feeling of a small family wasn’t so bad either.  Shao Qun sighed to himself. He really had changed. “What’s wrong?”His furrowed brow relaxed as he suddenly smiled. It was sincere yet filled with complex emotions, ranging from forlorn to bemused to loving to even glad. “It’s nothing.” I promised you all this. And somehow it’s…working. On me as well. But even if he could enjoy the presence of family, that didn’t mean he wouldn’t struggle with the lack: “When I’m without you, all I can think about is you.”Li Chengxiu’s face blossomed fast into bright red, so stark against his pale skin that he resembled a beautiful begonia opening its petals in the snow.Seeing him be made speechless in his shyness, Shao Qun grinned. “Well, thinking of you and Zhengzheng, of course. But we’re both wishing you can be back earlier because we both miss you so much. And I know I’ve already told you this many times before, but I mean it, Xifu’er.”The bashful shock evolved into a warm smile on Li Chengxiu even as the blush deepened. “I-I miss the two of you very much as well,” he reassured him. Shao Qun nodded, satisfied. “And I’ll be back very, very soon—right after finalizing some more things regarding this collaboration with Gu-zong and Yuan-zong and then the shopping trip we have planned, since Xiaohui and Luo Yi are in Shanghai as well.”“Mn.” Shao Qun sent a kiss at the phone. “You stay safe out there.”“I will.”Just as he was about to open his mouth and re-propose having some fun over the screen, Zhengzheng’s crying could be heard again. It really felt like a boulder being dropped on Shao Qun’s back—and his burning desire. 
You brat, didn’t I just put you to bed!?
“Zhengzheng’s—”“I know, I know,” he huffed, already getting up. “I’ll go check on him.”Zhengzheng’s crying this time was quite intense, and Shao Qun felt exhausted, especially with the concern that Li Chengxiu was still on the call with him. “Chengxiu, you don’t have to worry,” he finally said, turning to the phone that had been forgotten on the nightstand. “I’ll handle this. You should get some rest too—you’ve had a long day as well.”Li Chengxiu nodded slowly. “Then…I’ll see you soon, Shao Qun.”“Mn. Love you, Laopo.” “I…I love you too.”He ended the call with much more satisfaction than last time. It was indeed a pity he and Li Chengxiu weren’t getting the chance to do something more over the phone, but hearing confirmation of his wife’s affections for him always lifted him up. It felt like flowers were blossoming all around him, with everything glowing as sparkles filled the air…But Zhengzheng’s bawling certainly destroyed such an image. In a fit of frustration, Shao Qun looked down with a glower and muttered, “Your dad doesn’t want you anymore.” Which only made Zhengzheng cry further. “Aiyaaaaa… Please stop crying!!”
Why is having a child so hard? And it’s so late at night, it’s not like I can pawn him off on someone else for a quick break…

Wait a second!
A lightbulb went off in his head as he remembered one of the friends he used to often go out late at night with—and the good news was that unlike his closest friends, who shared some uncomfortable history with Li Chengxiu, this particular friend was exempt from that. And he himself was technically a “family man” now too, at least in the sense that he’d found a rather patient and obedient—albeit slightly taller and even more muscular than him—wife. It was why he’d once called him over before when also having trouble with Zhengzheng. The couple had just met Zhengzheng and Li Chengxiu a few months ago, and they’d all seemed to get along quite well. So Shao Qun dialled him up with absolutely zero hesitation. “Hello?”“Yingzi! How are you?”“I’m good…? No, wait, Shao Qun—what are you doing suddenly calling me? It’s not your style to check in on your friends, much less have a casual chat. Especially not after you got yourself such a virtuous wife, right?”“Ah, well…how do you feel about some spicy crayfish?”The person on the other end was silent for a beat. “Is it made by your wife?”“Sure.”“…You’re not tricking me over for something…like you might sometimes do, are you?”Shao Qun smirked. “Do you have such little faith in me?”“And what if I said yes?”“Aiya, just come on over. You like spicy crayfish, and Chengxiu’s cooking is extra delicious, isn’t it?”“Humph. I’ll be there in twenty.”True to his words, twenty minutes later, the doorbell rang. Shao Qun turned to Zhengzheng and grinned. “Your Jian-shu and Li-ge are here to see you.”When he opened the door, in came two young men. One rushed in with some excitement, dressed flamboyantly in a pale blue suit with his dark brown hair combed neatly. The other followed at a much calmer pace, black bangs hanging softly over a delicate face that made him seem less overbearing than his partner, despite him actually being taller. He wore a navy blue and white sports jacket, which also hid his tight muscles that marked him as slightly bigger than his partner. The former walked in with familiarity while the latter greeted Shao Qun politely with a dip of his head and an address of “Shao-ge.”Both were handsome; the first man was a good friend of his, Jian Suiying, and he was famous in both the business and gay circles for his striking, beautiful face and shining eyes that appeared amber in the light, which could always draw one in, while the latter, Jian Suiying’s wife Li Yu, had a more tender beauty and cool asceticism to him that balanced surprisingly well with his athletic body. But of course neither could compare to his own wonderful, lovely wife. And speaking of his wife…“Where’s the spicy crayfish you promised me? Is Li Chengxiu still cooking in the kitchen?”“About that…it’ll be here in ten more minutes at most.”Jian Suiying skidded to a stop and spun around to glower at him. “You don’t feel guilty tricking me?”“Well, isn’t it nice to come and see Zhengzheng every now and then? Come on, I’m still giving you spicy crayfish, and I’ll ask Chengxiu to make you some next time…”“Shao Qun!”“It’s okay, Jian-ge. I can also try cooking them for you later too, if you want,” Li Yu said. Then he nodded at Shao Qun. “How have you been, Shao-ge?”“Not bad.” I miss my wife. “What about you two? I heard your cousin recently went to Shanghai as well? That’s where my Chengxiu is for a business trip right now.”“Mn, that brat of a husband of Xinyu’s, Yu Fengcheng—Huo Qiao’s nephew, if you remember him—finally went on break at his military academy so the two skedaddled off to Shanghai. Xinyu promised he was looking at opportunities there for his security company as well, but I honestly think those two kids just wanted to go play.” Jian Suiying snorted. “But Bai Xinyu did run into the famous actor Zhou Xiang there, who was filming in Shanghai for Yan-zong’s company. The two are in the talks now for a bodyguard deal at an upcoming event,” Li Yu added. Jian Suiying nodded, looking pretty proud despite the harsh words he’d chosen to call his little cousin and his husband earlier. “If this works out, he can probably also get in touch with that famous Song Juhan eventually. That’d be a huge step up; last time he worked for a smaller actor—I think his name was Qi Xiao…?”“Oh, I think I’ve heard of him. Isn’t he that actor who was in—?”His attempt at continuing the cheerful conversation was interrupted by Zhengzheng crying again.  Shao Qun hurried to pick him up from where he’d set him down in the playpen in the living room, and Jian Suiying and Li Yu followed. He patted his son on the butt and held back another sigh, murmuring, “Why are you such a crybaby? All right, it’s okay now; Daddy’s here, Daddy’s here…”Jian Suiying frowned in some displeasure at the noisy sobbing. “Do you really treat me and Xiao Lizi as nannies?”Li Yu, meanwhile, approached with familiarity and even reached out for the baby boy, his expression gentle. “Aiya, what’s wrong, Zhengzheng? Let Gege take a look at you.”Shao Qun gladly passed the baby to him. “Zhengzheng, don’t cry, don’t cry; Zhengzheng is a good boy.” Li Yu spoke in a low, soothing voice, sounding warm and steady as he rocked him back and forth carefully. Zhengzheng did seem to find it reassuring, as his cries turned to sniffles. Jian Suiying and Shao Qun stood by the side, watching, with the latter eventually leaning closer to the former to remark quietly, “Hey, your family’s boy isn’t bad with kids, huh? Is it because he has to take care of someone like you all the time?”Jian Suiying glowered at him. “You’re one to talk.” He smiled sheepishly, avoiding his gaze and letting out an awkward whistle. “Well, it was a good call getting you two to come over again, either way.”Jian Suiying rolled his eyes. Whatever piercing response he had was cut short though as he felt something rubbing against his ankle, and he glanced down instead. It was Teacup, who had suddenly showed up and was now clinging to him. It looked up at him with big brown eyes. “It really does seem to like you.” Shao Qun sat down and rested his elbows on his knees, sneering. “It always seems to butt heads with me though.”“It probably knows you’re a big vinegar jar,” Jian Suiying responded, lifting the excited dog. It barked eagerly and licked his face.Shao Qun didn’t deny it. Seeing his unwilling expression that wanted to refute but couldn’t, his friend laughed—right at him. “You’re just like my Xiao Yuyu, seriously.”“Eugh, don’t be so cringey.” “I mean it. You and him both get jealous of most everything when there’s really no point to.”“You say that as if you’re not prone to drinking vinegar either!”“Not to the crazy extent of you two! Just the other day, Li Yu got upset when I wore something even slightly revealing…”Shao Qun tried imagining Li Chengxiu wearing something even remotely similar to some of Jian Suiying’s more scandalous outfits, and he immediately shot the idea down. It may end up being very attractive, but he would never let anyone see Li Chengxiu that way! “What do you mean that’s a crazy extent?” he challenged. “If my wife dressed like that and others looked at him inappropriately, I’d gouge out their eyes!”“See, this is exactly what I’m talking about! You don’t even know what my clothes looked like that day…”Before the two hotheaded friends could get into some semblance of a fight due to their currently uniquely affected moods, Li Yu called out to them: “Shao-ge, I think Zhengzheng’s diaper needs changing.”“Again?” Disgruntled, Shao Qun got up and took his son back. “I’ll handle it.”As he managed that, Li Yu rejoined Jian Suiying and raised his hand to tuck some of his hair behind his ear. “What were you two arguing over?”“Not arguing,” Jian Suiying denied immediately. “Just reminding him not to be such a giant vinegar jar all the time.”“Jian-ge, don’t you think that’s almost like the vinegar pot calling the kettle black—?”“What are you talking about!? Who are you calling a vinegar pot!?”Li Yu chuckled at his indignant look and stroked his hair lovingly. “Mn, mn, there’s nothing wrong with you or what you said. You’re the best just the way you are…”And so an amused Li Yu coaxed a pouting Jian Suiying while a tired Shao Qun changed the diaper of a now bubbly Zhengzheng. Afterwards, the trio gathered at the dining table with the spicy crayfish that Shao Qun had ordered to make up for his little white lie to his friend that had tricked him into becoming a guest (nanny). The longer their discussion about business went on, the more Jian Suiying could see how exhausted his friend was.When he nodded blearily for the umpteenth time at a question because his focus was on Zhengzheng or because he felt sleepily out of it, Jian Suiying couldn’t stand it anymore and turned to tell Li Yu to go help with the baby. Shao Qun tried to say there was no need to, but Jian Suiying waved his concerns away. “Isn’t that what you called us over for? Don’t pretend to be polite now. Besides, it’ll be good practice for him. I sometimes think of kids as something that’d only be interesting for a while and then become annoying afterwards, but Xiao Lizi has recently shown some interest in possibly having one, or at least considering it. I have been too, since I feel like maybe I should have one around the age of 33…”“Ha, you of all people are thinking of having a child?”“And what are you implying, Shao Qun? It’s not like you’re someone others would expect to have a child either! Do I need to remind you what you were doing only a couple years ago, running around the Beijing night scene—”“Okay, I get your point, goddammit.” He always grimaced in self-resentment when he had to remember his despicable past behaviour and how it had almost cost him Li Chengxiu, and so he naturally steered the tête-à-tête back to their initial topic: “But why 33, anyway?”“Humph. I think double numbers are auspicious, got it?”Li Yu came back at that point, reporting that he’d managed to get Zhengzheng to fall asleep with a few random videos the baby happily clicked on—from nursery rhymes to bedtime stories to eventually even a PSA from the Fenghuang Fire Brigade by a firefighter named Ren Yi whom they’d actually seen around before. As he sat down, he noticed Jian Suiying’s pursed lips and rubbed them lovingly. “What’s wrong? What provoked you this time?”“Shao Qun doubts I can look after a child,” he muttered. Li Yu blinked. “Ah…”Jian Suiying easily noticed his change of tone and the smile that had just begun taking shape on his face due to his partner’s rubbing immediately soured. “What, do you doubt me too? Li Yu!”“I don’t doubt you. I’m simply realizing it would undeniably be a big change for the both of us; we can also see how tired Shao-ge sometimes gets.” Li Yu cheered him up very patiently and then smoothly diverted his attention by changing the topic: “Taking care of a baby is indeed tiring. So let’s all take a moment to relax and enjoy some crayfish, all right? Here, Suiying, I’ll peel you some…”Shao Qun almost gagged, rolling his eyes. No wonder Teacup likes Yingzi so much. He and his wife sure hand out a lot of dog food! Watching Li Yu being so attentive and peeling all that crayfish for Jian Suiying merely made him miss his own wife even more. He stabbed his chopsticks into some chicken. But at least besides the crayfish, I still get to eat my wife’s homemade cooking… Like every night since Li Chengxiu had left, Shao Qun cheered himself up with thoughts like that to stay motivated in trucking along for his little family. He thus communicated about work with Jian Suiying with renewed enthusiasm this time around, making up for his trickery even more by mentioning good business prospects. There’d been recent news about Zhou Jinxing’s company through that Li Shuo, and Yu Fengcheng had also come into contact with someone named Qu Moyu, who was also pretty powerful. Both were good possibilities for future prospective business deals. They decided to both communicate with the side they had contact with first and then exchange the information and prepare to introduce the party they knew to each other, and then they shook on it. And after they bid farewell to one another, Shao Qun washed up super basically and finally just collapsed right into bed. He had a day and a half more to go before Li Chengxiu could come home… Which meant he had to hold on until then—until his wife came back and he could enjoy his warmth and get some more energy from holding him. Shao Qun woke up in melancholy due to crying… Except it wasn’t his own, because it was coming from Zhengzheng’s room. Again. He groaned, throwing a pillow over his head and hiding under the covers for a period because he was tired. He knew babies cried a lot, but this was really a lot of a lot…wasn’t it? He’d already woken up bawling twice yesterday night, and it’d taken so much to put him to sleep… Shao Qun himself was coming closer and closer to wailing himself. He never could have imagined that the seemingly weak—at first glance—softness of Li Chengxiu and Zhengzheng could make him of all people so weak. Of course there were many ways that he welcomed the feeling, including being able to relax at home and hold his wife and child. But this part of childcare…He let out one last groan before rushing out of bed.Comforting the baby took a while, especially with Shao Qun also wanting to cry a bit—but that meant he did feel closer to his son. They were both missing Li Chengxiu. After preparing milk and feeding Zhengzheng, Shao Qun cheered himself up with some more leftovers that Li Chengxiu had prepared for him. Then he attempted to get some work done despite the highly distracting presence of his son and the dog. Zhengzheng was at the mood where little animals were fascinating to his infant brain, and he would tug on Teacup’s fur and try to touch its face. At this time, Li Chengxiu would always remind him to be gentle, so Shao Qun did the same out of obligation. But words meant little to a baby. Zhengzheng pulled Teacup in for what was almost like a hug, and the tiny brown dog looked up at Shao Qun with what was maybe an aggrieved expression.  “You better learn to live with it,” he told it. “Your position is at least slightly higher than mine in this family. So serves you right—you replaced me, and now my son replaces you!”His boasting got him another present from Teacup in peeing near his shoes. “You—!” Furious, Shao Qun quickly moved his shoes away from the door and began mopping the floor. This seemed to attract Zhengzheng, who crawled over, wanting to check it out, and Shao Qun hurried to scoop him up.  “Hey, no, no, no! You can’t touch any of that!”Zhengzheng laughed and babbled, touching Shao Qun’s face. As cute as that was, knowing that the baby’s hands had just been on the floor with the aim of examining dog pee and was now touching his face made him frown. “Maybe it’s time you have a bath,” he said, shaking Zhengzheng slightly. He paused before looking down at himself and the wrinkled, stained shirt he was wearing. “And for me to have another one as well, even if I did just shower.”The little one giggled some more in response. But this mood was soon turned into fussiness and pouting when the bath actually started. “You need a bath! You’re dirty!” Shao Qun knew it was pointless to reason with a baby but couldn’t resist yelling out in frustration. “Stop throwing a tantrum, you brat!” He had a feeling that at this rate, he may not even need a shower later. Zhengzheng was splashing so much water on him he was pretty much getting cleaned like this. After that, Zhengzheng expended enough energy for him to nap peacefully, and Shao Qun got some more work done while eating a quick meal for himself. When Zhengzheng woke up, he ate properly, much to Shao Qun’s delight. He hoped he’d be obedient and eat well again at dinnertime, but by then, the little guy actually refused to eat again. “What’s wrong now?” He stared down at the small spoon of goop in his hand. “Can you even tell at this age if you like something? Let me tell you right now—you’re not allowed to be picky!” He was already such a handful himself—he didn’t intend to raise another young master. It would be more than enough if Zhengzheng could be more like Li Chengxiu.  Zhengzheng turned his nose up at the proffered spoon, doing his best to avoid it. “You—!” Shao Qun’s eyes narrowed and he leaned in to stare Zhengzheng down. The baby met his eyes. “You really can’t be picky,” he warned. The baby did not react beyond a pouting mumble. The seconds ticked by as the two stared at one another. Neither budged. But Shao Qun was beginning to frown as Zhengzheng continued to refuse to eat. “What’s so bad about this anyway? You can barely tell what this is…” He checked it again; it was golden yellow in colour, which didn’t look so bad. The packaging said it had honey, and that sounded even better. With a furrowed brow, he couldn’t resist slowly sticking out his own tongue and taking a lick. Almost right away, he jumped and let out a loud “bleh!” Zhengzheng grew animated too, laughing and clapping at his exaggerated response. “That’s so…!” He barely had the words to describe how bad that tasted! It was too sweet and yet had a bitter aftertaste as well for some reason, which didn’t make any sense to him!More babbling answered him, as if the baby was expressing his agreement. “Mn, fine, you don’t have to eat that one. Let me find something else for you.” Shao Qun began digging around in the cabinets. There was still some of the mashed peas from before, but he couldn’t imagine that tasting much better than this. In the end, he settled for some lotus root.Zhengzheng still seemed disinterested in food, but at least he was willing to taste it now. Shao Qun hesitated. Li Chengxiu would sometimes play gentle food games with Zhengzheng when he refused to eat like the classic “here comes the airplane!” and “here comes the choo choo train!” And these tactics had worked quite well with Zhao Jinxin when he was a toddler as well, at least in Shao Qun’s memory. This wasn’t exactly Shao Qun’s style though…He glanced at his watch. It was already almost 6:00 pm. If they kept this up, Zhengzheng—and his—schedule may be thrown out of whack. “In that case,” he finally sighed. “You…get ready.”Zhengzheng stared at him in curiosity, tilting his head. “Here…comes the airplane…” Shao Qun lifted the spoon awkwardly. Zhengzheng blinked. “See? It’s an airplane!” He waved the food around a little before slowly swooping it toward his lips. “Here comes the plane~!”This time, it actually worked: Zhengzheng opened his mouth!He chomped down and Shao Qun breathed a sigh of relief. He began reciting the same phrase again and eventually got pretty into it, making larger motions with his arm. “The airplane is coming down!! Get ready for landing!”Zhengzheng giggled and opened his mouth in anticipation. The meal passed just like this, with them wrapping up at 6:45. Shao Qun felt pretty exhausted (again) by the end of it, but Zhengzheng seemed quite energized. “Play with this for a while.” He handed him a stuffed rabbit and sat him down on the floor while he began cleaning up.  Babies really make a mess of everything, he mused. There was food on the high chair and the table and the floor. He rolled his sleeves up, beginning to wipe it all down. When he finished with the table and was about to start on the floor, he just so happened to glance up and spot Zhengzheng and Teacup playing…tug-of-war?Shao Qun’s eyebrows drew together. They were both pulling pretty roughly on that rabbit… Suddenly, Teacup lifted its head with a determined growl, tugging hard enough that Zhengzheng fell forward slightly, and his head knocked into the rabbit. Shao Qun immediately leaped into action, running forward to pick Zhengzheng up. “What are you doing!? You can’t play so rough! If Zhengzheng gets hurt because of you…” He’d been working so hard to look after his son these past few days, all on his own—he wasn’t about to let the dog be the reason Zhengzheng may get hurt under his watch!Amidst his loud scolding, Zhengzheng began bawling again. “Wait, wait, don’t cry,” he tried to say. As he was trying to calm him down, his phone began ringing… And as soon as he took a look, it was a video call—and it was from Li Chengxiu! Shao Qun balanced Zhengzheng in his arms, torn between answering or declining or just letting it ring until it stopped. The few minutes that ticked by stretched into what felt like oblivion, enough so that Shao Qun was about to despair. But at that moment, something miraculous happened: Zhengzheng fell asleep. He blinked down at his son, who was now snuggled up against his chest in his arms. He must have really worn himself out, he realized. The sudden silence made him relax with a deep breath. He’s certainly worn me out. Shao Qun could finally answer Li Chengxiu’s call. Or rather, it had rung until it stopped, so he dialled him back. Li Chengxiu picked up quickly. “Shao Qun? How is everything?” His concern could be both seen and heard, so he communicated reassuringly: “No worries, Xifu’er. Everything’s good. I was just putting Zhengzheng to bed, and…he was being kind of fussy—but he’s asleep now!”“Zhengzheng’s asleep?” Li Chengxiu’s eyes lit up in surprise. He glanced at the clock on the wall with his cute little lips falling into an o shape. “Already?”Shao Qun nodded, puffing up his chest in pride in spite of himself. Eager to seek praise, he turned the phone around so the other man could see their son dozing peacefully in his crib. “All I had to do was wear him out.”“Wow, Zhengzheng slept so early today!”“Of course! It’s like negotiating in business—as long as you meet a kid at their level and figure out what they like and want to play to bring their energy levels down, sleep isn’t so hard to come by!” A pause. “But Laopo, you don’t know how much this kid has worn me out.”Li Chengxiu, who’d been listening with a gentle smile, suddenly furrowed his brow in concern. “You’ve worked hard, Shao Qun.”“It’s what I should do! But you know…Laopo, if you want to now in turn help bring my energy levels up , there is something you can do for me…”“What is it?”Hearing the slightly anxious yet eager to help tone in Li Chengxiu’s voice made Shao Qun’s lips curl upwards. “You hear how I’m calling you ‘Laopo,’ don’t you? You could respond and call me ‘Laogong’~”That look of concern went to shock and then embarrassment so fast that Shao Qun wished he could’ve recorded it to better study the shift next time.  “Sh-Shao Qun!”“Ah, you’re not going to call me ‘Laogong’?” He frowned exaggeratedly yet sincerely, to the point it was basically a pout. He may have resembled his green tea of a cousin Zhao Jinxin here more than he would like to admit. “Then…come home soon? I miss you,” he said pitifully.  This time, Li Chengxiu’s expression softened again. “I…”“I know you can’t rush things and it’s unrealistic that you’ll be back before the expected date and time, but I still wanted to say it. I simply miss you too much.”“Y-You know I miss you too…”“But it’s not enough. It’s never enough.” He found himself smiling again, this time forlorn and even a touch wry as he recalled the soul-crushing kind of longing he felt back when Li Chengxiu had left him, again and again… This trip obviously was nowhere near as bad as that, but their break-up period had definitely taught him to appreciate Li Chengxiu—to the point this sweet man had become like the oxygen he needed to live. With that kind of lesson learned, he could never be apart from his darling without missing him. “Then…Then I’ll try,” Li Chengxiu suddenly promised, resulting in Shao Qun snapping back to reality in wide-eyed shock. “I’ll try to come back sooner.”Although they were likely words simply meant to placate him, they nevertheless indicated that Li Chengxiu cared enough about him to make a conscious effort to comfort him. Shao Qun beamed. “Mn, Zhengzheng and I will be right at home waiting for you.” “Your dad comes home today,” Shao Qun announced to a playing Zhengzheng. He smiled and plucked one of the blocks from him, watching as his son began grabbing for it. “If you even care.”Zhengzheng let out noises of protest and he handed the block back to him. “What are you even building?” He got down from the couch to sit with the little one. Taking a look showed that it wasn’t really a structure or anything at all, and Shao Qun’s personal perfectionist side took over. He couldn’t resist picking up some blocks himself from the bucket and beginning to construct a mini tower. Zhengzheng peeked over curiously. “This is how you build an actual thing,” Shao Qun explained. Zhengzheng babbled indistinctly and reached for his tower. “Hey, no, no, no,” he said, blocking the baby’s way. “You play with your own…” He found himself trailing off when he met Zhengzheng’s giant brown eyes, which looked so much like Li Chengxiu’s. In the face of such cuteness, he hesitated. “Very well, we’ll play together. You are only a baby, after all, so I can’t expect you to know how to build all this… All right, look at what Daddy does…”Half an hour later, they (mostly Shao Qun) had built something of a courtyard with mini “houses,” accompanied by some unknown structures made by Zhengzheng. “Now we could put toy cars in here or something,” Shao Qun mused. “Let me see if—hey!”He hadn’t even finished speaking when Teacup came sniffing, sticking its usually tiny but now disproportionately large paw into the courtyard and knocking down one of the houses. “Teacup! Bad dog!”Shao Qun’s shouting startled Teacup, who began darting away and knocking even more structures over, much to Shao Qun’s chagrin and Zhengzheng’s amusement. The noise levels spiked as man chased dog, and then—“Shao Qun…?”The door opened. He jerked his head toward the voice, eyes widening as excited shock filled his system. “Chengxiu?” And as soon as his gaze alighted on Li Chengxiu’s thin body and tender face, he brightened and ran over in joy. “Xifu’er! You’re home! But I thought you couldn’t be back until tonight?”Seeing his husband, usually so clean and badass, now dishevelled with a crumpled and crookedly buttoned top and mismatched socks stuffed inside cute slippers, in the midst of chasing their little dog who hadn’t stopped running around them and barking in eagerness…Li Chengxiu smiled. “I wrapped up early,” he answered at the same moment Teacup changed targets and ran toward him. He bent down to pet Teacup in greeting. “You asked me to come back sooner, so I finished the work as fast as I could, and Xiaohui and I had our shopping trip earlier too.”Shao Qun felt such an intense wave of love and joy, like a gentle rain revitalizing the land after a long drought, where the water tasted so, so sweet. “My wife is the best,” he asserted, walking over in large strides so he could pick Li Chengxiu up and swing him around. “Sh-Shao Qun!” the smaller man squeaked, startled. Teacup also jumped back with a start and began barking at them.This kind of noise naturally attracted Zhengzheng, who’d already been very happy to see Li Chengxiu back. Now he crawled over and cried out in want of attention, stretching out his small hands for Li Chengxiu. “Zh-Zhengzheng is looking for me,” he said, tapping Shao Qun’s arm to encourage him to put him down. The younger man sighed and did so obediently. He picked up Zhengzheng and passed him to Li Chengxiu, grinning again. “I did say we’d wait for you.”“Mn,” he agreed happily. “I’ve missed you very, very much, Zhengzheng! I got you some gifts…” Seeing all his attention on their son and the dog, Shao Qun began pouting, and with Li Chengxiu now digging around for the new toys, he cleared his throat.  When both parties glanced over, he asked reproachfully, “What about me?”Li Chengxiu paused as his cheeks turned pink, but at the same time, his lips curled; he hadn’t said it out loud, but he’d actually rushed back for two reasons. One was because he’d missed them—both of them—but there was also the secret fact that every phone call they’d made, Shao Qun’s repeated statements that he longed to see him had rendered him so precious and even…pitiful, in a cute way. Li Chengxiu could never have predicted that one day he could see Shao Qun this way—to see the man he’d poured so much love into now express so much love for him in turn. And for Shao Qun to willingly come across as silly and adorable, despite his usually carefully maintained expression and stature. He was such an overbearing, arrogant man, and yet in moments like this, it felt like he was as harmless as Teacup—with a love just as sincere. And it was this love that Li Chengxiu had once hoped to receive. He hadn’t dared to believe in its possibility back then, and even their reconciliation had left him with doubt…But now, as the two of them settled into their lives, he felt like…he really could believe in Shao Qun’s desire to be with him. A sentiment as complex as this couldn’t be easily expressed, however, and Li Chengxiu himself had never been good at discussing his emotions openly. Even these couple seconds processing his thoughts led to Shao Qun’s eyebrows drooping slightly. “Chengxiu…”“I missed you too,” he said. His voice remained soft, but he spoke without hesitation. “And I got you presents as well.”Shao Qun’s eyes widened. “Really?”“Mn.” Li Chengxiu smiled and nodded, pulling out the ties, cufflinks, and clothes that he’d bought with Wen Xiaohui’s help. Remembering that made his face warm; he would never be able to admit it, but he knew Shao Qun’s measurements incredibly well, and he had a good feeling for his style and what looked good on him. And with Wen Xiaohui’s additional guidance, he was quite proud of their choices, even if he had been teased by Wen Xiaohui for it. And watching Shao Qun perk up like a big dog all because of his gifts, because this man missed him, and because this man cherished him…it was so cute. Li Chengxiu felt a warmth flow through his chest like flowers unfurling their petals in spring, the same way happy flowers seemed to be blooming around Shao Qun. He really was so fortunate to get to enjoy this life now. As Shao Qun began trying some of the new clothes on, Li Chengxiu held Zhengzheng and watched with a smile. The entire scene was so domestic. So ideal. Li Chengxiu shifted his gaze to Zhengzheng, who was chewing on one of his toys while eyeing Shao Qun. His dark hair shone a warm brown under the light, reminding Li Chengxiu of hot chocolate, and his eyes glittered like amber lights on cozy winter nights. For him, Zhengzheng was the embodiment, the tangible proof, of all of this—this life, his hopes, their love…He was the sign it was all true. Li Chengxiu lowered his head to kiss their son on the forehead. “Zhengzheng, were you happy these past few days?”“He better have been happy,” Shao Qun responded for him, adjusting a tie in the mirror. “Entertaining this brat has consumed so much of my energy!”Despite his harsh words, his tone was affectionate, and Li Chengxiu giggled because of this. “That’s how babies are.”“Humph. Our son is better than most babies though.”He held back another giggle. “It’s too early to make this kind of assessment, isn’t it?”“Not at all! He’s our son, after all, so how is it possible he wouldn’t be great? He’s got your wonderful genes and will have you as a parent, and my full support. Of course he’ll be better than all the other children in the world.”“Then…did our perfect little boy behave well for Daddy?”“He was very good, naturally!”Li Chengxiu resisted the urge to chuckle. From “this brat” to “our son is perfect”—this was indeed Shao Qun’s style. “And you had fun too, Zhengzheng?”Zhengzheng cocked his head as if he was really assessing this question, and this was only further enhanced when he turned to blink up at Shao Qun. For the third time in three and a half days, father and son met eyes, neither moving nor speaking as they stared one another down. The seconds passed like this, and Li Chengxiu furrowed his brow as Shao Qun’s eyes slowly narrowed. Zhengzheng, for his part, simply blinked. Then all of a sudden, Zhengzheng laughed and held out his arms for Shao Qun. The man’s eyebrows instantly lifted and he hugged Zhengzheng back. It was a somewhat awkward position, to carefully cradle his son in one arm and his wife in the other while Zhengzheng was still being held by Li Chengxiu, but Shao Qun didn’t mind it. In fact, he loved it. This posture felt like their family was truly one.Li Chengxiu’s lips raised once more and he reached up to stroke Shao Qun’s hair. “We’ve troubled you these past few days.”“It’s no trouble at all!” he exclaimed, bouncing back up. “This is what I should do as a husband and father.”“Then thank you for all the effort you put into looking after Zhengzheng during this time.” Shao Qun frowned. “That sounds too distant, Chengxiu. Plus there’s no need for thanks between us…”“No, that isn’t what I meant by it.” He knew Shao Qun was always anxious he didn’t feel secure enough in the family or believe in his affection for him, and even if he sometimes had doubts…This wasn’t one of those times. This kind of familial joy currently felt all the more real because he’d once longed so desperately for it, which meant he could now see how it measured up to expectation, and to him, it even surpassed it. He could feel his heart soaring into the sky because of it…with both Shao Qun and Zhengzheng there as the clouds to catch him and the sun to warm him, to keep him from falling. They kept him grounded instead, because this happiness was reality. It was why he dared to stand on tiptoe, pressing a shy kiss to Shao Qun’s cheek, and when the taller man stared at him in surprise, he whispered, “You’ve worked hard.”“Xifu’er…” Shao Qun beamed as he pulled Li Chengxiu in by the waist. “Even if thanks aren’t necessary between us, I’ll happily accept them this time, but only this isn’t going to be enough. We have to make up for all the kisses we didn’t get to have during these past few days, and they have to be right here…” He tapped his lips. Li Chengxiu chuckled in exasperation but nonetheless tiptoed to kiss Shao Qun on the mouth, and he parted his own when he felt his partner’s tongue licking in. The familiar, now reassuring taste came, followed by Shao Qun’s unique, masculine scent of expensive cologne and a little bit of musk, which ignited an embarrassingly passionate flame in the warmth that filled Li Chengxiu’s body. This was his man—whom he’d loved and given up, only for him to proclaim himself as his husband and father to his child, and a man who Li Chengxiu chose even after everything they’d gone through. And feeling his love for him like this, so firm and real in his hands and on his tongue, Li Chengxiu felt the conviction of having made the right choice. Shao Qun was still his man. And it was because of all he’d done to grow for Li Chengxiu that he could continue believing in him and in them, with Zhengzheng—and now his patient care for Zhengzheng these past few days despite his rough exterior—serving as evidence. “Shao Qun,” he called quietly, breathing the name into his lips between their kisses. “Hm?”“I’m really proud of you.” I love you.  Shao Qun felt his heart tighten at these words with his eyes and nose tingling, but in the best way. “It wasn’t anything too difficult. Not for you and Zhengzheng.”
Not for family.
“Chengxiu, I love you. I love you so, so much.”“Mn. M-Me too…”He could barely contain himself anymore. His grip grew stronger around the smaller man’s waist as he kissed him hard, with the heat between their lips feeling like the warmth in his chest—so explosive it was sending him over the moon in delight. He began corralling Li Chengxiu toward the sofa…But then came Zhengzheng’s bubbly voice, and Li Chengxiu was quickly pressing his hand against Shao Qun’s chest to prevent him from going too far. “The baby,” he gasped. “I heard him,” Shao Qun groaned. He really didn’t want to stop. “But there’s another big baby here that needs attention too, Chengxiu…”“I-I’ll go check on him. You get some rest.” When Li Chengxiu pushed harder and attempted to get up, he had no choice but to let him go. Yet as he sat on the sofa and saw his perfect wife making his way toward their adorable son and then picking him up and smiling at his laughter, he couldn’t bring himself to feel annoyed. It was simply…too pure and domestic. Too blissful. “Chengxiu, you’re tired too,” he called, standing up. “Let me help you.”Li Chengxiu looked up at him and smiled. He smiled right back, before walking forward and caressing his waist as he passed by. When Li Chengxiu jolted, startled, he winked at him. “We haven’t made up all our kisses yet.”“Shao Qun.” His voice was chiding but not too resistant or firm, which meant he wasn’t saying no. Shao Qun grinned. It wasn’t too long ago that he’d felt as if he would never be able to experience Li Chengxiu’s careful, appreciative, nurturing affection again. And now he had all this again and even more. How could he not be happy, no matter how tired or lonely he’d felt during Li Chengxiu’s days away? This meant that having Li Chengxiu back made him feel all the more reinvigorated. He began preparing the milk and Li Chengxiu came to join him, and the two of them held hands. They chatted about the past few days and the days coming up ahead while playing with Zhengzheng. Shao Qun had never valued family before, but Li Chengxiu had opened his eyes to many things over the years. From a princeling who’d once imagined a family of his own as suffocating responsibility, he now found it to be a love fulfilling enough that he could never go back to the way things were…not when the little family they’d managed to secure was so perfectly perfect.