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“Spencer, you better make this quick. I don’t have time for your nonsense today,” Lassiter grumbled into the phone as he juggled his coffee and car keys in his other hand. O’Hara gave him a disapproving look over the top of the car as she waited for him to cross the parking lot and get the doors unlocked.“H-hey, Lassie.” The strained tone of Shawn’s voice sent alarm bells off inside Lassiter’s head.“Spencer? What’s going on?”“Look, you… you can’t be mad, okay?”“Mad about what?”“Because— because I know I screwed up, but I don’t… I don’t—”“Tell me what’s wrong.”“I might… have been shot.” Lassiter went completely still. “I definitely got shot.”“Where are you?” Lassiter only vaguely heard the calm sternness of his own voice, the icy feeling down his spine making him focus intently on every sound from Shawn.“South Columbus. The old abandoned building.”“We’re on our way. Shawn, we’re coming.” He throws his coffee and is running to the car, O’Hara wide eyed and yanking open the door as soon as Lassiter has the locks open. He grabs the radio when he’s half way in and barking “Officer down! All available units respond—”He’s got the car peeling out of the parking lot before he’s done with the rest of the orders. He flips on the siren and presses the phone back to his ear, relieved with a quick glance to see the call hasn’t been disconnected.“Shawn?”“Lassie…”“You’re going to be fine. I promise.”There’s a strange choking sound and another icy shiver goes down Lassiter’s spine. “I… I’ll take. I’ll take your word for it…. Oh god, this hurts…”Lassiter tries to cling to the hope that the pain is the worst thing Shawn has to worry about. If the wound somehow missed his organs or major arteries, he should have a good chance. It would hurt like a bitch but at least there’d be a chance of getting him to a hospital.“You… you called me Shawn.”“Yeah, don’t get used to it,” Lassiter gruffly said back, out of habit, flinching when the idea hit him he might not actually get the chance to again.Shawn gasped a tiny laugh anyway. Maybe he wanted their usual bickering. “Knew you wouldn’t…make it easy… I like that, though. I always have.”“Always liked what?”“That you don’t make it easy.”Lassiter had no idea what to say to that. He focuses intently on the road, planning exactly which turns and what route would take them there the quickest.“Say it again?” It’s so quiet, the pain hanging off every word.There’s a lump in Lassiter’s throat suddenly. Jesus Christ, this isn’t supposed to be happening to Spencer of all people. How did this happen? Why was he alone?“Shawn…you’re going to be fine. The ambulance should be there any minute. O’Hara and I are right behind them….” His voice starts to crack and he clears his throat, mentally shaking himself. He couldn’t lose control now. “You’re not going to die,” he growls, the familiar anger giving him a firm hold where he had been stumbling. “You’re not allowed to. I’ve already reserved the right for the next time you spill my coffee all over my desk.”It sounds like Shawn is trying to laugh again but it’s choked off too quickly. “You did call dibs. I’m sorry I’m always pissing you off, Lassie…”“No, don’t you dare—”“I just like how much you look at me when I do.”Lassiter blinks.“I kind of love getting you so ruffled. I’ve kind of loved you for awhile…”“I… Spencer, what…”“Think I gotta go.”“Shawn, don’t—”They pull up at the scene. Cop cars are everywhere. Lassiter jumps out, leaving his car running and not hearing O’Hara as she tries to yell to him. He’s barking at the nearest officer for an update. It’s not long after that Shawn is brought out on a stretcher.As soon as Lassiter sees him he’s pushing his way over, flashing his badge and jumping into the ambulance for the ride to the hospital. * Lassiter paces. It’s all he can do. Once Shawn is taken through the ER doors, there’s nothing left. His badge doesn’t get him further than the waiting room. A nurse hands him forms that he stares at too long, completely unable to comprehend the words on the page. Someone takes them from him at some point, O’Hara, most likely, as she continues to press too many cups of lukewarm coffee into his hands over the next several hours.Henry shows up, loudly demanding answers, deflating and restless the longer there’s nothing new to report. Lassiter can’t remember when Guster arrived, every time he happens to catch his eye he’s in the same chair in the corner of the waiting room, quietly crying. Henry eventually takes him home.O’Hara gets a call and squeezes his shoulder as a regretful goodbye before she too is gone.Finally, Shawn is out of surgery and he’s allowed up to the ICU. He stays the rest of the night at the hospital, holding Shawn’s hand whenever the nurses aren’t in the room. * Shawn still hadn’t woken when the Chief shows up somewhere around 7 A.M. the next morning. Lassiter nodded in greeting and she gave him a sympathetic look in return. “Carlton, you’ve been here all night. Go home. Get some sleep.”“I can’t leave him,” he said, eyes back on Shawn. “I have to be here when he wakes up. He called me, Karen. And the idiot…” he shook his head slowly, still trying to wade through all the things Shawn had said to him. “He wasted the first minute of the call asking me not to be mad at him. And I just don’t get it. He’s the best damn human being I’ve ever met and he asks me to not be mad at him before telling me he’s bleeding out in some warehouse. Why would he do that?”She gave him a considering look. “It’s Shawn’s story to tell if he wants to, but… I don’t think he had a very easy childhood. He never had much validation, from his father. The opposite really.”“…it really is that simple, isn’t it? We’re all just screwed up by our parents.”“Pretty much. To varying degrees. It’s terrifying to be a parent, knowing that.” * There’s a hand carding through his hair and Lassiter lets the calm softness of just barely waking up almost take him back under. Then he jerks upright, back and neck protesting, as he straightens in the uncomfortable chair and looks at Shawn aiming a nervous smile at him from the hospital bed. “Hey, Lassie,” Shawn says, voice low and rough from being intubated and unconscious so long.“Don’t ever do this to me again, Spencer,” he demands, just as rough, the emotions from the last day and a half flooding right back up to choke him. Shawn looked regretful, but he didn’t let it stop his usual teasing. “I thought we were moving past calling me Spencer finally.” Lassiter took a deep breath and held it before slowly exhaling, steeling his courage for the decision he’d already made hours ago. “I’ll call you Shawn once you’re out of here and fully recovered. When I take you to dinner.” Shawn’s smile bloomed slowly, surprised and genuine. “Be honest, Lassie, were the three years of throwing myself at you first imperial to getting you on a date, or could I have jumped right to getting shot? Gus is going to argue about it and I need to have the upper hand.” Lassiter couldn’t decide which part to focus on, the strange sort of feeling that came from Shawn admitting to flirting with him all this time, the flare of anger at the flippant way he talked about almost getting himself killed, or the idea of letting Guster and everyone else know and the realities that would come with it. He took the easy distraction instead. “Do you mean imperative?” “I’ve heard it both ways.” Shawn smirked at his eyeroll and reached out a hand, tugging at Lassiter’s open shirt collar, tie abandoned somewhere long before. Not letting himself second guess the instinct, he stood and came closer, mumbling, “You’re an idiot,” against Shawn’s smile.