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tommy’s whole body trembled as he stood. cold, biting wind nipped at his skin, making him shiver. the cold was a friend of his, a shuddery sensation he’d suffered with countlessly throughout his whole life. the whistling winds weaving through the walls of l’manburg, the icy air seeping through the cavernous cracks in the caves of pogtopia, the glacial gusts blowing in through the filmsy fabric of his tent in exile — and now it’d followed him up here.and it all felt so raw. no matter where he’d been, he’d been shielded from the cold by people he had trusted in that moment. tubbo, wilbur, even dream. and now here he stood, well and truly alone.maybe he didn’t want to replicate what his former friends had done. maybe he didn’t want to shield himself from the sharp, stabbing sensations of the atmosphere.calloused, scabby hands reached out to the inky sky. dazzling stars illuminated his world, so close yet so far. they twinkled, and almost looked like he could reach them if he just stretched further.ironic really, isn’t it? it felt like most thing’s in tommy’s life were like that, so close but just out of reach.the discs, his discs. he should’ve been able to have them, they were his! he just didn’t try hard enough to get them back he supposed.wilbur, his older brother. he sacrificed his own needs in pogtopia to try look after him, but he was too far gone. there was no saving him.tubbo, his best friend. he spent years fighting alongside him, but one stupid moment got him exiled, sent away. it wasn’t like tubbo even visited, but tommy wished he would.the blond closed his eyes tightly for a second, shakily exhaling.he wondered if it would hurt. he knew it probably would, but would it be as bad as what he’d already been through? and could it really hurt all that bad compared to his drained heart, his scarred body, his tired soul?maybe the free fall would be fun. he’d always wondered how it would feel to just.. fall. he used to get nightmares about it, but they never seemed to scare him as much as he felt like they were supposed to.tommy took another breath as he looked around at the tapestry of forests and seas, and at the vast blanket of stars; and that was when he realised just how quiet it was. the universe was silent, and it almost filled him with peace. he was going to break free from the cycle and die on his own terms, and the world was respecting that. although, the reason he was dying and the place he was dying in was like a mockery of his legacy, but at-least it’d be over.but would it ever really be over? wilbur had a ghost. even though ghostbur was a completely different person, tommy’s ghost might not be. tommy was never that lucky. his soul might find its way back here and chose to reside by his place of death permanently. how sad would that be? forever under the lock and key of exile?he hadn’t even realised tears were streaming down his face. how pathetic. he just knew wilbur would’ve told him to toughen up, and dream would’ve laughed at him.a sudden, unexpected rage boiled within him.he had to stay alive. out of spite. he needed to prove he was better,a fighter.