Work Text
There are three things that Jing-mei has never considered: domesticity, a life with John Carter, and having children. But in this moment, with John Carter holding her hand as contractions put her body through more pain than she had ever thought it physically possible to endure, she considers all three.He holds her hand, and he murmurs, "You don't have to," when she tells him that she doesn't want to have to do this alone, and she understands how every single woman fell into his bed over the years. She understands and she sees images of joining that list. She sees images of them in that ridiculous Carter mansion, raising her - their - son together.She wouldn't have to do it alone.She thinks of her son's future birthdays, holidays, graduations, and medical school applications. She thinks of lying in bed and watching John breathe, of holding John's hand every day and night. She thinks of how this is the only stable adult relationship she has ever had, and that she is the same for him, unless they count Benton.But the sweet images of domesticity fade when she looks to the adoptive parents who already have their lives figured out. Her son deserves a guarantee, not a hunch, not a passing fancy brought on by a desire not to be alone. He deserves people who have always wanted the domestic life she only thought of when squeezing John Carter's hands during the middle of a contraction.So Jing-mei watches John hold her son, ignores the pang and longing it causes in her heart, and then very carefully tells her son goodbye. She lets go of both her son and any silly lingering dreams of domesticity that were never meant to be when Michael is placed in his new parents' arms.