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Law school in itself is hell, so every chance you can get, you try to make it as sane and bearable as possible. Heightened anxiety, less than 8 hours of sleep, dehydrated, broke, and you don’t get to eat meals at the right time. These are just some of the things you get in law school besides the legal knowledge. Most of the time you think the cons weigh more than the pros but then you get reminded of the glory after all this suffering. That’s why as much as possible, you do everything on the sideline to enjoy it. Drinks after class and most importantly: a crush to get you going every day, lalo na sa kaklase mo. A harmless happy crush. Ethan Tantoco, or some of your blockmates call him Tan. What drew you to him was his personality. He took up BS Nursing for his pre-law and came from a family of doctors. It was a harmless crush really, you just like looking at a pretty face. And unlike other law students, hindi ganon kagago si Ethan, walang god-complex kahit law student pa siya at galing sa pamilya ng mga doctor. He’s not part of some fraternity in the guise of brotherhood but in reality just joins it para sure pass and for the materials. Kasi hindi niya naman kailangan. Hindi siya mayabang. You’d think that with his background he would gloat, but most of the time he keeps to himself. Ni hindi niyo nga malalaman sa klase na nanay niya yung may ari ng isang sikat na dermatology clinic ng mga artista without your nosy professor asking him if his mother is the locally-renowned derm doctor. And everyone in the class suddenly pulls out their phones to check if it is true – and it is. Wala bang discount yang mga kaklase mo sa derm clinic niyo tutal mga mukhang walang tulog. Their professor quips, not expecting anything in return with the intention of making a laugh out of the tension in the classroom. But Ethan with his humble and shy smile answers, “Of course, Attorney. Pati kayo rin po pwede.” Everyone in the class howls. But that’s not the reason why the professors and their blockmates like him – Ethan is good. Good at exams, because he tops most of the exams. Good at explaining things – most of their blockmates come to him when they don’t get the provisions or doctrine. Good at recitations – he’s eloquent and never falters even if he didn’t get to study that much that day. And lastly, Ethan is nice. Which is why some of the blockmates na nagddorm around the university is in his house to study for their finals. When he offered to them, “Do you guys want to study sa bahay namin for Finals? Para di na rin kayo gumastos sa coffee shops.” You accepted the offer within a heartbeat. As a broke law student, di mo na kaya gumastos ng 200 a day just to study in coffee shops. You and Ethan have been friends ever since the classes started because he’s nice to everyone, it’s easy to be friends with him. Lagi siya sumasama kapag nagsstudy out yung ibang mga kaklase niyo. But this is the first time he offered their house – narealize niya rin siguro na ang gastos na aral nang aral so coffee shops when he can just offer their house. Wala rin namang tao most of the time sa bahay nila at tulog na rin mga tao sa gabi kapag mag-aaral sila. Well, except for Ethan’s lone younger brother who everyone in the group is talking about when you entered the house kasi ikaw pinakalast na nakarating dahil naligo ka muna sa dorm mo at nag-Angkas nalang papunta sa exclusive village na tinitirahan ni Ethan. Paano mo ba naman hindi magiging crush yung tao, eh si Ethan yung tipo ng tao na would go out of his way to make everyone’s life bearable. Kanina nung sinabi mo na mallate ka para maligo muna, he offered you to just take a bath in their home or if gusto na mo sunduin ka na lang niya sa dorm. Of course, you declined. If you didn’t know Ethan too well, you’d think na type ka niya, but he is just that nice to everyone. “Tan, sobrang tangkad nung kapatid mo! Is he around 6 feet? Parang 6 footer na!” Andrea says while she devours the Hawaiian pizza they ordered for dinner. “Yup, 6’1 ata?” Ethan answers habang kumukuha ng tubig sa ref. They’re all surrounding the island table kung saan nakalagay yung pizza. “Gago, seryoso? Ilang taon na yun?” Tine, another one of their blockmates asks him again. “He’s 21, 2 years younger than me. He’s in 4th year, same uni as us but he’s taking up BS Medbio.” “Cute niya, infairness. Ba’t di mo yayain kumain dito?” Tine another blockmate says pagkatapos niya inumin yung tubig na binigay ni Ethan sakaniya. “Siraulo, type mo?” Andrea says while laughing. “Why not, okay lang ba sa’yo, Tan?” Tine with a knowing grin asks Ethan who is laughing with them. “Okay lang naman, ang tanong okay lang ba sakanya?” Ethan says still laughing.“Ayun lang,” Jay another one from the group says habang iniinis si Tine. Di ata nila napansin na nasa loob ka na kaya nagulat silang lahat nung tinanong mo, “May kapatid si Tan?” Most of the time, di naman talaga kayo naguusap about personal life ng isa’t isa. Baka siguro dahil most of the time law school lang ang topic niyo. Sabi nga ng iba parang sa law school nalang umiikot yung buhay mo. Lahat ng jokes law school related, lahat ng kwento law school ulit, kaya parang gusto mo na rin ng pagkakaabalahan outside of law school. Di naman pwede na inom nalang lagi magpapaalis stress sayo. Kaya iniisip mong sumali ng BarOps teams, or debate team ng school niyo para naman may iba kang gawin. Kaya rin gulat ka nung malaman mo may kapatid pala si Ethan. Hindi naman kasi niya kinekwento most of the time. “Oo, teh. Di mo nakita nandito kanina. Pogi rin katulad ni Tan, syempre.” Pangiiinis ni Andrea kay Ethan. “Baka naman mas pogi pa rin si Tan,” you say para inisin din siya. The whole group laughs.The dinner ended quietly as you also need to study for the first day of finals tomorrow. PFR yung pinakaunang exam niyo bukas kaya lahat kayo todo aral. Wala na rin masyadong nagsasalita. Yung iba nagaaral sa Kitchen Island and some are in the living room’s coffee table. It’s already 3 am pero para sainyo nagsisimula palang talaga ang gabi. Balak ng group niyo magaral until magkaaraw, tutal 6pm pa naman yung exam mamaya. You suddenly felt the urge to pee kaya tinanong mo si Ethan kung saan yung restroom nila. “Sira kasi yung powder room here sa baba. Si Jake naliligo ngayon sa CR ko eh. Need mo na ba talaga?” Ethan asks you habang suot suot niya yung salamin niya that perfectly suits him. “Oo eh, sorry, Tan. Wala na bang ibang CR?” You ask. “Meron pa naman, pero sa room ng parents ko and kay Riki. Gusto mo samahan kita sa kwarto ni Riks? I can just ask him if pwede gamitin CR niya, gising pa naman yung for sure.” Ethan offers. “Ay wag na, saan nalang kwarto ni Riki? Katok nalang ako and tanong if pwede.” You say, not wanting to inconvenience him. “You sure? Pagkataas mo it’s the first door you’ll see like tapat mismo nung stairs.” Ethan answers. “Okay, thanks.” You start to descend into the stairs and you immediately spot the first door within your vision. You try to knock as softly and quietly as possible, hoping it would send the message from the other end that someone is indeed trying to knock. But there’s no answer. Baka tulog na? You don’t want to bother Ethan’s brother as well dahil makiki CR ka na nga lang din. But you try again for the second time around, this time stronger than the first one kasi di mo na rin talaga kaya pigilan yung ihi mo, ang dami mo na ata kasing nalagok na kape. But there’s still no answer, kaya pababa ka nalang din sana at hihintayin nalang si Jake matapos.But suddenly nung nakatalikod ka na at pababa narinig mong bumukas yung pinto. You suddenly turn to face Ethan’s brother to ask him if pwede ba maki-CR but you were stunned. In front of you is Ethan’s brother, Riki, without wearing anything besides the boxer shorts, a disheveled hair and a sleepy face trying to familiarize his eyes with the light, medyo nakapikit pa yung left eye at parang inis.You suddenly get all the fuss from your friends earlier because how can a person look this good despite just waking up? Both of you are just staring at each other, you with a stunned look trying to pry away your eyes from his body and the thought na he’s just 21? Bakit ang prominent ng abs niya? Bakit sobrang tangkad? Abot na ata niya yung door frame. While Riki looks at you with both confusion and sleepiness still seeping in from him. You were only reminded of reality nung may narinig kang tawanan sa baba. Right. You need to pee. “Uhm, Riki, right? Pwede maki-CR? May gumagamit kasi ng CR ng kuya mo sa kwarto niya and sira daw powder room niyo ngayon.” You suddenly blurt out na para bang nagmamadali ka, you didn’t even know kung tama ba yung mga pinagsasabe mo sa kaba. Why the fuck am I suddenly so nervous? Bakit parang mas kabado pa ako dito kesa sa recitation? Riki without answering you stepped aside at pinalaki pa yung buka ng pinto para papasukin ka. The first thing you notice is how cold it is inside the room. Bakit natutulog siyang boxer shorts lang ang suot, eh ang lamig lamig dito sa kwarto niya? The second thing you notice is the smell of milk, wood, honey and smoke altogether - amoy pastillas for a lack of better term. Then you notice na may kandila under a candle warmer, where the soft dim light is emanating from. Ah dun siguro galing. “Here’s the bathroom,” Riki with his groggy and hoarse voice says as he opens the door of the bathroom for you. Dali dali kang pumasok sa CR as much as possible trying to get away from the vicinity of the younger guy kasi mas ramdam mo pa yung lamig from Riki kesa sa lamig nung kwarto niya. Napansin mong sobrang linis ng CR niya and it’s full of products from Aesop na presyo ng isang hand wash liquid ay baon mo na for 1 week. Riki was not what you expected. He’s so different from his brother. While Ethan seems like the sunshine personified, charming his way through life with his shy smile and welcoming personality, Riki with just one look makes you want to leave any place he’s in with his intimidating aura. Kaya nung natapos ka, bumuntong hininga ka muna ng malalim before you try to open the door. Say thank you, get out immediately, and close his door (this time softly.) You try to repeat this inside your head para di malimutan and as much as possible di ka nalang titingin sakanya. Baka naman kaya ganon na parang inis siya kasi sinira ko tulog niya? Baka nasa REM state na siya tapos sinira ko tulog para lang maki CR?
Bakit ba kabadong kabado ako dito as if kakainin niya ako ng buhay? May mga mas malala pa akong recitation stories dito, nasabihan na nga akong you’re not good enough ng abogado nung recitation pero mas natatakot ako dito?
You opened the door expecting the worst look of all from his face but walang tao sa kwarto. Because of this you had the opportunity to pry into his room. May tv set up na parang feeling mo halos milyon ang worth ng buong set up sa gilid ng kwarto niya. Puno ng mga niche artworks na you will probably never understand the point of buying unless you have disposable money you can spend para sa hobby of appreciating the art. But then you’re suddenly broken out of your trance when the door suddenly creaks at pumasok si Riki with a glass of water in his hand. This time he’s wearing a black hoodie. Hindi na rin siya mukhang inis.Nagmadali kang pumunta malapit sa pintuan para mas madaling lumabas pagkatapos mong magthank you. You try to make the words come out of your mouth habang nakatitig lang kayo sa isa’t isa. He’s waiting for you to say something habang hawak hawak niya pa rin ulit yung pinto para sayo.
Fuck, ano nga ba kasing sasabihin ko?
Right. Thank you.
“Uhm,” You say and then his left eyebrow shot up, waiting for you to say something. “Thanks for letting me use the CR, promise next time di na kita gigisingin sa tulog mo para mag CR.”
Okay, that was out of script. Para tuloy akong sarcastic sa sinabi ko. Parang ang ungrateful naman, sinira ko na nga yung tulog.
He just smirked and nodded at you and that was your cue to leave immediately and everything else was out of order from the moment you left the restroom kasi nasara mo na naman ng malakas yung pinto niya unintentionally.
What the fuck was that?
You sighed deeply after passing the booklet in front. Feeling mo naman nasagot mo lahat ng tanong from the exam despite losing your mind over Ethan’s younger brother last night. Did you lose sleep trying to think of the interaction nung makauwi ka na? Maybe. As much as possible, you’ll try to stay away from Ethan’s brother – it feels like he’s a doom in the making. Your doom. You just feel it. “My house again tonight guys?” Ethan asks pagkalapit na pagkalapit niya sa kumpulan ng mga blockmates niyo na nagppost-exam debrief. During midterms it was an unspoken rule to never talk about the exams after because nangyari na at nasagutan niyo na, it will only make others feel bad if iba sagot nila at magooverthink. But right now? Fuck that rule, bahala na kung pumasa, edi pumasa. Some of you just need to let it off and talk about the exam because who else can you talk about it with? Kayo kayo lang din naman makakagets sa misery ng isa’t isa. “Yup, kunin ko lang gamit ko from the dorm.” Jake says. “Meet na lang tayo sa may Carpark banda, andun lang car ko.” Ethan says habang inaakbayan niya si Andrea. “Ikaw, Y/N? Will you join?” Tine asks beside you. “Iniisip ko pa,” you say. If magaaral ka mag-isa sa dorm makakatulog ka lang agad at di ka gaganahin magaral. If kasama mo naman sila gaganahan ka mag-aral tapos siyempre mamadaliin mo mag-aral kasi minsan ang bilis mag-aral ni Ethan kaya napipilitan bilisan yung pacing. Pero andun si Riki. ‘Di naman sa may panget na nangyari kahapon, but like you want to stay out of his proximity as much as possible kasi para kang lagi mauubusan ng hininga pag andyan siya. You never felt that with Ethan kahit may harmless happy crush ka sakaniya.
What the fuck? Do I like Ethan’s younger brother? No fucking way. I mean yes he’s cute. But like no fucking way, off limits. Bata pa.
“Ha? Bakit iisipin mo pa?! Sumama ka na, girl! Magaral na tayo. Let’s go!” Tine says dragging you into the group na papalakad na sa carpark. But you really do need to study with a group, whatever. I’ll just try to ignore him if andyan man siya. “Fine, pero kunin ko lang din gamit ko.” “Okay! Guys, kunin lang din daw ni Y/N gamit niya. We’ll wait for you and Jake sa carpark nalang.” Tine says shouting that had some of the people staring at them. It’s been 4 hours inside Ethan’s house pero di mo pa rin nakikita si Riki. I mean niyo. Wala siguro siya tonight? After all it’s a Friday. Baka night out with friends. Teka lang ano bang pake mo? It’s 3 am and everyone else is taking a nap right now. 40 minutes lang daw. Ikaw lang ang kaisa isang gising ngayon kasi nauna kang magnap kanina. Si Tan natulog muna kasama si Jake sa kwarto niya. Sila Tine and Andrea nasa guest room. Si Jay nasa sofa right now mahimbing ang tulog. And you are alone in the Kitchen Island nagrereview. When suddenly nakarinig ka ng pagbukas ng main door. Bakit parang wala ka naman narinig na kotse na pumasok sa garahe? You look up from your reviewer at nakita mo si Riki papasok wearing a matching blue Diesel Zip-up Hoodie and trousers with white sando for his inner wear, gold chain in his neck. Nahugutan ka na naman ng hininga. “Oh, you’re here again.” Riki says while he removes his jacket to leave it on the Kitchen Island countertop. He’s only left with the white sando. He opens the fridge to retrieve a water bottle and when he closes the door of the fridge you’re suddenly met with his eye and there’s amusement in his eyes because napansin niyang pinapanood mo yung galaw niya. Which is true. Kaya mabilis mong binaling tingin mo acting like you’re reading something. He suddenly drags the chair in front of you para doon umupo at magcellphone habang iniinom niya tubig niya. You checked your phone at meron pang 13 minutes left before you wake all of them up. Fuck, 13? Pwede ba ngayon na? A minute has passed, you’re reading the same sentence over and over again kasi wala ka na magets. They’re all words jumbled up together not making any sense, they do, you’re just rattled right now.
12 minutes.
“I didn’t get your name last night. Ikaw yun, right?” Riki asks pagkababa niya ng phone. Di mo pa rin siya tinitignan acting like you’re reading something. “Yung?” You ask highlighting something you don’t think is important.“Nakigamit ng CR ko from last night.” This time you look at him, and he’s staring right at you, with his left eyebrows again raising. “Yup.” Tama, clipped and short answers only. You look back again on the paper in front of you.
11 minutes.
10 minutes.
9 minutes.
8 minutes.
7 minutes.
6 minutes.
5 minutes.
He still hasn’t left, and you still haven’t moved on from the page you are reading. You think mapapansin niya na di mo pa nalilipat yung page kaya kahit wala kang naintindihan sa page na yun nilipat mo na para lang di naman magmukhang nagkukunyari ka magbasa, which is agan, true. Bakit ba dito siya tumatambay? I mean, okay this is their house, you are simply a visitor but does he really need to waste his time here? May kwarto naman siya, pwede na siyang magbihis or maghilamos.
4 minutes.
3 minutes.
2 minutes.
“You didn’t tell me your name.” Riki says again this time tinignan mo siya agad.
“I don’t need to tell you my name.” Yup, tama. The less he knows about you, mas madaling iwasan siya. “Why?” Ayan na naman siya sa nakataas niyang kilay at ngiti. “Because…” You trail trying to think of a reason, reasonable enough not to give him your name. “Because?” “Because…” Fuck ano ba pwedeng rason? “You know, I can just ask Kuya Tan for your name,” Riki says, smirking again with that same smirk he gave you last night. Ano bang trip ng batang ‘to? “Edi sasabihin ko wag ibigay pangalan ko.” Then he laughed. So hard. Feeling mo nagising si Jay sa lakas ng tawa niya kaya napansin mo na may bumalikwas sa may sofa. Then tumunog yung alarm. “Nice talking with you, see you again next time,” sabi niya habang kinukuha niya yung jacket, cellphone, at water bottle, papunta sa stairs. “Hi, kuya Jay,” he waves and then he’s off to the stairs. Lumapit si Jay sa may countertop. “Ano pinaguusapan niyo ni Riki?” he asks habang kinukusot yung mata, para kumuha rin ng water bottle sa fridge. You didn’t answer his question pero binalikan mo rin ng tanong yung tanong niya para di mo na sagutin. “Close kayo ni Riki?” “Ah, oo. We sometimes play with him and his friends ng LoL kasama si Tan and Jake. Why?” Tanong niya at uminom ng tubig. “Wala lang. Tara gisingin na natin sila.”
It is the fourth night of consecutively studying in Ethan’s house for the finals. You didn’t see him for one day for some reason and you didn’t really ask Ethan kung nasan siya because that would be weird. Why would I ask about the whereabouts of his younger brother? It’s so weird na gusto mo makita si Riki but at the same time ayaw mo rin? Like gusto mo siyang makita because like his brother he’s so easy to look at and he has this magnetic pull, slowly wanting to gravitate you in towards his proximity. But at the same time, you have this weird feeling of not wanting to see him because of the very reason why you want to see him. It's so paradoxical to want and not want him at the same time. It is already 2 in the morning, and everyone else except you is taking a nap. It has already been a routine for the group to sleep for at least 40 minutes in the middle of the study session to recuperate. You are always the designated person to wake everyone else up bago na ikaw naman ang matutulog, you didn’t really mind, honestly.But right now ‘di mo na kaya and dahil wala naman na free space for you to sleep on dahil nga nasa guest room si Tine and Andrea, si Jake and Tan sa kwarto ni Tan, and si Jay sa sofa hiniga mo nalang yung ulo mo sa countertop sa kamay mo. You don’t really care if uncomfortable dahil gusto mo na rin talaga muna matulog dahil wala ka na rin naiintindihan sa binabasa mo. Nakukuha mo na sana yung tulog mo when you suddenly felt a hand shaking you. Maiinis ka na sana sa nanggising sayo but you’re met with Riki not wearing anything again but his boxer shorts and a glass of water in his other hand. Chineck mo yung phone mo for the alarm. 3 minutes ka palang nakakatulog. “Ano?” you ask, trying to mask the irritation from waking you up. “You wanna sleep in my room muna?” Riki asks and for some reason you see a worried look in his face. You didn’t answer him because gulong gulo ka kung bakit inooffer niya kama niya para makatulog ka. He probably sensed that you were so confused kaya sinabi niya na, “It looks uncomfortable to be sleeping there, I would offer the guest room but I guess everything else is occupied.” “Wag na, okay lang,” you say, declining the offer because you would rather feel uncomfortable here than sleep in his room. “If it makes you feel better, I’ll stay here sa kitchen so you won’t feel uncomfortable sleeping inside my room.” That made you even more confused. You didn’t wanna read into it too much because like his brother baka mabait lang din talaga ‘tong batang to. You’re tempted to say yes kasi inaantok ka na rin talaga and ang sarap humiga muna sa malambot na kama ngayon. Ito na kasi huling tulog mo hanggang sa tuloy tuloy na ulit kayo mag aaral. You’re still not answering his question kaya tinanong ka niya ulit, if gusto mo ba. “So? Do you want to or not?” Then he shot up his brows again and you curse yourself for finding it hot. No, off limits. “Fine,” sabi mo habang tumatayo ka na and you see him na paupo na sa inuupuan mo kanina. “Pero okay lang naman sa akin nandun ka sa kwarto mo habang natutulog ako,” you add. Ang kapal naman kasi ng mukha mo na ikick out siya sa kwarto niya, siya na nga nag magandang loob ioffer yung kama niya. You see him kind of shocked by your answer, because he probably didn’t expect you na pumayag na matulog kahit nandoon siya sa kwarto. “Pero wag ka maingay ha? At ikaw na gumising sakanila ng 2:30 am kasi mas nauna silang natulog ng 10 minutes sakin.” “Yeah, yeah,” he says habang inuunahan ka niya sa paglakad and because of that nakaharap ka sa likod niya ngayon. You can clearly see his moles forming constellations in his back. Your hand itches to touch his moles and form the constellation you can think of. Sobrang babaw, pero sobrang attractive nung mga nunal niya sa likod.
God what is happening to me? Pati sa nunal, kinikilig na ako?
You both enter his cold room and amoy pastillas pa rin habang ang tanging ilaw lang ay yung nanggagaling sa candle warmer. Does he like scented candles? Kasi pansin mo na may shelf na puro halos kandila lang din ang nandoon. “Do you want me to get a new blanket for you?” Tanong niya sayo habang nakatayo lang siya sa gitna ng kwarto niya. You awkwardly stand in front of him, not knowing what to do next. “No, okay lang.” you say but then you realize. “Ay okay lang ba sayo gamitin ko kumot mo?” “Yeah, it’s fine.” He shrugs and proceeds to sit in his sofa inside the room. You’re still standing awkwardly and he notices it. “You can sleep now. I’ll wake you up.” Sabi niya na hindi nakatingin sayo at sa cellphone lang niya nakatutok mata niya. “Okay, pagising nalang after 40 minutes.” Sabi mo habang padiretso ka na sa kama niya. Pagkahiga mo ramdam na ramdam yung lambot ng kama at pagkatalukbong mo sa kumot nakaamoy ka agad ng pabango, leaning towards mint and vetiver. Is this his perfume? Ang bango.And the moment you closed your eyes, ang dali dali mo lang nakatulog. Days passed by and last day na ng finals niyo. You haven’t seen Riki for the rest of the days. Kasi tulog na ata siya kapag dumadating kayo sa bahay nila Ethan and papaalis na kayo if gigising na siya. Not that it matters and not that you care. But you were hoping to get a little glimpse of him sometimes. Ewan. Ang gulo ng nararamdaman mo sa batang yon. Like his brother, gwapo siya. But there’s something different from him that makes you feel like, babae ka. Nakapagreflect ka for the past few days na sexually attracted ka sa kanya. It’s hard to explain but may animalistic thoughts sa utak mo tuwing nakikita mo siya kaya as much as possible you try to shut down those thoughts. Ayaw mo pumatol sa bata. May joke pa nga kayong magttropa sa law school na everytime you see someone attractive sa campus, napapaisip kayo kasi bagets pa yun and nasa post-grad na kayo. Pwede na siguro if 4th year tapos delayed dapat ng isang taon para mas malapit sa age niyo. Tapos kapatid pa siya ni Ethan? No way. Kaya buti nalang that the whole block is off to celebrate the last day of finals para uminom. Hahanap ka nalang ng random dude na pwedeng imomol sa bar to get it off your system. Hindi yung naaattract ka sa kapatid ni Ethan. You have this harmless happy crush kay Ethan but you never had a tiny bit of sexual attraction towards him. Pero kay Riki? Fuck. Kaya naman you wasted no time pagkadating niyo palang ng bar at tuloy tuloy na uminom ng shots. Even drinks from strangers tinatanggap mo na. Sobrang sikip at dami ng tao kaya di mo na rin halos makita yung mga kaklase mo. You suddenly felt someone hold your shoulders from the back. Pagkatingin mo kamukha ng kapatid ni Ethan yung nasa harap mo. Weird. Sobrang lasing mo na ata kaya siya naiisip mo. Tangina. Pati ba naman kahit lasing ako siya na naiisip ko?“Y/N, you’re here pala with kuya.” Sabi nung kamukha ng kapatid ni Ethan. “Bakit kilala mo ‘ko? Sino ka?” You ask trying to squint to get a better look of the guy. “It’s Riki. Are you drunk?” He asks and then hold onto your wrist. Nakatingala ka sakaniya ngayon kasi ang tangkad niya. Kasing tangkad nung kapatid ni Tan. “No,” you scoff trying to get away from the stranger. Naisip mo kung makikipagmomol ka, sa hindi dapat kamukha nung kapatid ni Ethan. Or, pwede rin sakaniya para mas madaling maalis sa sistema mo. “You are. Tara hanapin ko sila kuya, I’ll help you get there,” Tiki says. Tiki ba? Funny, karhyme pa nung pangalan ni Riki. “No, wag. Labas nalang ako. I need air.” You say still looking up to him. “You look cute, may girlfriend ka ba?” You ask, para if imomol mo man lang siya walang sabit. Di ka makokonsensya. “What?” He asks confused. “Lasing ka na talaga.” He said pero hila hila pa rin kamay mo papunta sa hindi mo alam. Nakaramdam ka nalang bigla ng hangin at mas tumahimik yung paligid. “Let’s go downstairs,” Sabi ni Tiki, trying to help you go down. Bakit ba kasi may hagdan sa bar na ‘to? Pano kung lasing yung customer tas mag-isa lang edi nalaglag? Magkakaroon pa ng damages sa bar kung man mangyari yun. “Be careful,” Tiki says as he holds your waist at naramdaman mo yung lamig ng kamay niya because you are only wearing a white tube top na cropped kaya exposed yung waist mo. It took at least 2 minutes to get down from the stairs tapos dinala ka niya sa may gilid ng bar. It’s quiet down here and sinandal mo yung ulo mo sa wall sa likod mo and closed your eyes. “Tiki, you didn’t answer my question, may girlfriend ka ba?” You ask your eyes still closed because you can feel the world spinning suddenly. Parang mas nararamdaman mo yung lasing ngayon kesa doon sa loob. “Who the fuck is Tiki?” “Ikaw, diba Tiki name mo?” You open your eyes to stare at him pero umiikot pa rin paligid mo so sinandal mo ulit ulo mo and closed your eyes. “It’s Riki, Y/N.” “Oh, Tiki nga.” “Whatever, fine, call me Tiki.” “So, may girlfriend ka nga?” “You’re being weird today.” He says habang nakasandal na rin siya tabi mo. “Ano nga? Just answer the question.” You ask impatiently. “No,” he says scoffing. “Why?” “Next question,” you say you open your eyes again this time kahit nahihilo ka pa rin.
Bakit ba pumayag ako dun sa 5 seconds kanina? Parang more than 5 seconds ata binubuhos sa bibig ko yung alak. Di ko na alam anong alak, basta alak.
“What?” “Pwede ka bang i-momol?” You ask and then you smiled. “What the fuck? No?” He says, straightening his stance from the question. “Huh? Bakit? Momol lang naman, Tiki. We don’t even know each other. And you said, wala kang girlfriend.” “Y/N, you’re drunk.” “So?” “Anong ‘so’? I can’t kiss you when you’re drunk.” “Ang gentleman mo naman masyado. I consent to you kissing me, I don’t mind.” You shrugged. “No.” “Pumayag na nga ako, ‘diba?” You say this time, standing in front of him. Weird. Most of the time, mga lalake sa bar, papayag nalang agad makipagmomol kasi lasing na rin sila. “No, you’re drunk. Let’s go, hatid na kita kila Kuya sa taas.” He says, holding your wrist again to drag you upstairs. “Okay, tara. Sa taas nalang ako maghahanap ng ibang pwedeng i-momol.” You say habang hinihila ka niya and then suddenly stops in his tracks. “What?” he says, nakaharap na ulit sayo but still holding your hand. “Hatid mo na ako sa taas, hahanap nalang ako ng ibang pwede i-momol. Madami naman sa taas willing makipagmomol sa akin for sure.” Then you see him caress his temple and heard a big sigh. “Fine.” “Anong fine?” “Tara.” “Ha?” You ask confused.But you just feel him drag you again somewhere di mo alam kung sa taas ba ulit or pabalik sa sinasandalan niyo kanina kung saan walang tao. And then you suddenly felt him push you back into the wall. “Okay, can you say that again?” He says standing in front of you and still holding you shoulders kasi pagewang gewang ka na. “Say what again?” “Consent.” “Ah,” you say laughing. Pumayag na ba siya? Dapat pala kanina mo pa sinabi na maghahanap ka nalang sa taas kung ganon lang pala kadali. “Okay, I consent na halikan mo ko.” You say smiling, feeling triumph because finally. Maaalis mo na sa sistema mo yung attraction mo kay Riki. Not with him, though. But with a stranger, which is fine, kamukha rin naman siya ni Riki. Karhyme pa ng pangalan niya. Feeling mo kasi kaya lang naman nagkakaganon ka because you just need to let the steam off. “Okay, one last time to back out. Are you sure with this?” He asks you habang hawak hawak niya yung magkabilang balikat mo. “Oo nga,” you answer impatiently. After uttering those words you felt his lips on you. It was slow at first, still trying to familiarize with your mouth. You felt his hands from your shoulder go down to your waist, and you shivered again feeling his cold hand. You get a sniff of his perfume, it’s so familiar but you can’t pinpoint kung saan mo na naamoy basta alam mong naamoy mo na dati. He tilted his head to the side and slowly nibs at your lips with his plump lips. Ramdam na ramdam mo yung labi niya nibbing at your lower lip. But it was slow, that kind of kiss a lover gives to his significant other when they’re both wine drunk. You suddenly felt him caress his thumbs in your waist. But you need more, so you tried biting into his lips para buksan yung bibig niya. Bigla siyang lumayo sayo. “Ow,” he says habang hawak hawak yung ibabang labi niya. “Hala, sorry, bakit ba kasi ang bagal Tiki?” You say laughing at sinandal ulit yung ulo mo, pero hinawakan mo rin yung labi niya na hawak niya kanina na dumudugo na. “It’s okay,” he says wiping his lips and after that he starts kissing you again this time harsher than the first one. You can feel his hand cradle your neck and you settle your hands in his chest, feeling it and he suddenly touches your lips with his tongue. You open your mouth to let his tongue in, lowering down your hands to let it wander inside his shirt. Naramdaman mo na may abs siya, and as you caress it you heard him moan. He lets his tongue wander around your mouth and fight with your tongue as he continues to wander his hands around your body. You felt him push his hands to the tight band of the tube top to settle it in your ribs while his left hand is still caressing your head. Lumayo siya bigla sayo and breathing heavily he asks you whispering, “Can I kiss your neck?” and you don’t have the energy to speak so you just nod frantically. For some reason kinilig ka na tinanong niya pa yun, because guys wouldn’t normally ask it anymore and just do it without asking you. You felt his lips in your neck and you tried to tone down the moan that was escaping in your lips. You felt him bite a certain part of your neck and lapping at it with his tongue softly. You tugged at his hair because of the arousal. Kinuha mo ulit yung mukha niya para halikan ulit siya. Both of your hands holding his face as you kiss him harshly. You felt his tongue inside your mouth exploring it in ways your mind couldn’t take anymore. And for some reason, this is making you more drunk than the hard alcohol drinks given to you prior to this. I could get used to this kind of kiss, too bad he’s a stranger. It felt like you were both kissing for a long time. ‘Di mo na alam kung gano katagal pero sobrang tagal. Nararamdaman mo na rin na nababasa ka na and you can feel his growing bulge in his pants. Still kissing you, you feel yourself unconsciously grinding to him and that’s when he stops suddenly. Sinandal niya yung ulo niya sa may ulo mo rin. Both of you breathing hard, losing breath from kissing for a long time. “Okay, that’s enough.” You hear him say but he’s still caressing your waist. “What? Why?” You say holding his face to make him look at you. Kasi gusto mo pa. You want more from him. “Let’s just end it here, okay? Okay na ba? ‘Di ka na maghahanap ng ibang pwede imomol sa taas?” He asks you and you notice how bruised his lip is and napansin mo yung sugat dun sa nakagat mo kanina. Holding the bruised part of his lips you say “Sorry dito.” “It’s fine,” sabi niya habang lumayo na siya sayo.You nod. “Thank you for that,” sabi mo habang nakasandal ulit ulo mo dahil sa hilo at nakapikit yung mata mo. “Alam mo kung kilala kita personally, I would hit you up just to do that again,” and you opened your eyes, still blurry from drunkenness. “Y/N, this can’t happen again,” he says trying to fix his hair from all the tugging you’ve made. “It’s so weird na alam mo pangalan ko,” you squint trying to get a better look on his face. “But like, oo naman, di mangyayari ulit yun. Di naman kita kilala,” you laugh as you pat his shoulders. As you try to get away from his vicinity at pataas pabalik sa taas narinig mo nalang si Jay na nagsasalita habang pababa sa may hagdan. “Y/N and Riks andito lang pala kayo! Y/N, gusto mo na ba umuwi?” You nod dahil hilong hilo ka na at gusto mo nalang humiga sa kama mo. “Okay, tara na. Gusto na rin umuwi nila Tan e. Riks, uwi ka na rin ba?” you hear Jay say but after that you don’t understand anything anymore kasi nararamdaman mo na yung antok dahil hawak hawak ka na ni Jay at ready ka na matulog. You thought that what you did would be helpful in trying to get Riki off your system, but little did you know it was just the start of something new.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
It has been a week since Finals ended and you are reveling through the liberty of it all – from all the academic responsibilities, the pile of hundreds of cases in just one week, feeling like you’re not worthy, and most of all freedom from that certain boy with sharp eyes, plump lips, disheveled hair, and moles that could form constellations. Or maybe not. Because the moment you clicked Ethan’s new Instagram story which he rarely uses to post stuff in you get a little glimpse of Riki and in a single click all that liberty vanished within a snap. Ano ba yan Ethan? Minsan ka nalang magpost eto pang kapatid mo? It’s like the universe is conspiring with some deity to conjure plans of you never forgetting that certain boy.
Nasa ibang bansa siguro sila to celebrate Christmas and New Year. Figures. If I had the same amount of disposable income and generational wealth I’d waste it on traveling too, every holiday.
At the end of the day, you’re just a girl and you wasted no time in clicking that certain boy’s account who you wanted to be removed from your system. Ang gulo mo self, akala ko ba ayaw mo na makita yang batang yan tapos isstalk mo pa yung account? You know it yourself that you know the reason behind why you still chose to stalk his account, you just don’t have the courage to admit it to yourself yet. It was anticlimactic to say the least, Riki doesn’t post anything at all besides different sceneries from all the countries they have traveled to. He doesn’t even have any profile picture and uses the default one. As you were about to leave his page you accidentally clicked on the ‘Follow’ button and noticed it turning from blue to white indicating that you are now ‘Following’ his account. “Shet shet shet,” you say as you tried to unfollow him. But what the hell is the use of that when it has already been notified to Riki on the other end of the world and within minutes you see him requesting to follow your account.
Nice, self. So much for wanting to remove him out of your system.
You internally sigh as you accept his follow and follow him back again. It’s just one follow right? Besides you won’t lose anything from this, mutuals lang kami sa IG that’s it. You hate to admit it and it has been days since that accident but you have been religiously watching Ethan’s stories to get a glimpse of Riki because the kid doesn’t even use his account. As in wala, hindi siya nagpopost sa stories niya or anything, kahit post mismo sa Instagram wala. Pag ipopost naman siya ni Tan either nakatalikod or yung gilid lang ng mukha yung kita. And it’s like Ethan is hearing your thoughts because a few days after the new year may chat siya sa GC ng block niyo inviting everyone to their private resort in La Union. All expenses paid, lodging, food, and transpo. Just bring yourself guys, on me! In the spirit of finishing the first sem ;) he sends to the block gc one morning. And when he sends an additional message of, my brother and his friends will be with us too! If that’s okay :D you feel like backing out. Pero ang weird naman non, everyone in the class will go except you. You also remind yourself that it’s just Riki and it's just a week. Surely nothing weird will happen within a week.Right? Jay is being weird with you. Eto kasi ulit yung first time niyo magkita after that night sa Yes Please pagkatapos nung Finals ninyo. It’s like he knows something you don’t because in all honesty, wala kang maalala nung gabing yun sa kalasingan. Nagblack out ka sa dami ng nainom mo dahil kinabukasan, nagising ka nalang din sa kama mo tapos gabi na rin nun. “Kanina ka pa tingin nang tingin sakin Jay. Ano meron?” tanong mo sakanya habang nagaayos siya nung mga pinag grocery ninyo sa may ref. “Wala naman.” “Anong wala? Eh parang may gusto ka itanong diyan.” Sabi mo habang nilalagay mo yung mga snacks sa may pantry. “Do you not remember anything that night?” And that’s when you look at him. You try your best to remember anything from that night but nothing comes to mind dahil wala talaga. “Wala, bakit? May nangyari bang panget? Nagsuka ba ako or anything? Or like may nakakahiya ba akong ginawa?” “I’ll let you figure it out by yourself.” He says vaguely and then taps your shoulder as he leaves you alone inside the kitchen, leaving you confused. Huh… Weird? Anong ginawa ko that night? And why is Jay the only one being this weird with me? Nagddinner na kayong magkaklase nung dumating si Riki pati mga tropa niya. Everyone else was surrounding him like he’s some kind of an art in a museum, kasi first time lang nila nakita yung kapatid ni Ethan. And then there’s you acting like you haven’t slept in his room for 40 minutes, na para bang di mo siya kakilala. When you meet his eyes for the first time that night you see him smile slightly at you but you were quick on your toes to evade it. Admittedly, iniiwasan mo siya, kasi iniisip mo na if you keep on interacting with him, that attraction will deepen. And admittedly ulit, ayaw mo talaga mangyari yun. For some reason… the vibes with him are weird? Kinabukasan na and every time na makikita mong magisa siya sa dapat mong puntahan na pwesto tatalikod ka and everytime na patalikod ka na nagtatama lagi mga mata niyo. By then, alam na ni Riki na intentionally mo siyang iniiwasan. Pero di niyo naman nilalapitan at pinapansin yung isa’t isa.One night, nagising ka nalang sa tulog mo at nauuhaw ka. You check your phone and it’s 3 am. Naisipan mong uminom ng tubig kaya naman bumaba ka. Pero pagbaba na pagbaba mo ng hagdan nakita mo si Riki na nakatalikod sayo at umiinom rin ng tubig. As usual, nakaboxer shorts na naman siya, habit niya ata talaga matulog ng walang shirt. Dahan dahan ka sanang pataas pero bago ka pa man makaapak sa unang hagdan narinig mo na siyang nagsasalita. “Why do you keep on avoiding me?” You hear him say with his groggy and hoarse voice na para bang kakagising niya lang din sa tulog niya. You sigh inwardly before you face him because there’s no escaping now. “Ha?” You act like di mo siya narinig the first time, in hopes he wouldn’t ask it again. Lumapit siya kaunti sayo at sumandal sa may gilid ng sofa habang umiinom ng tubig. He shot up his left eyebrows as if taunting you. Fuck, yan na naman siya. Ang hot non. “Why do you keep on avoiding me?” He asks again after settling down the water glass on the near coffee table and crosses his arms as if interrogating you.“Hindi ah, you’re hallucinating.” You say defensively, kasi bakit mo naman aaminin na iniiwasan mo siya kasi sexually attracted ka sakanya at pinipigilan mo yung sarili mo? “No, I’m not.” He answers scoffingly. “You’re clearly avoiding me. Every time I try to meet your eyes umiiwas ka. Is it because of that night?” He asks again and it leaves you confused. Anong night? Yung natulog ka sa kama niya? “Ha? Nung bang nagnap ako sa kama mo yun for 40 minutes?” You see him kind of taken aback with your answer but he was quick to change his expression with something kind of an understanding. Then you see him nod slowly. Akala mo may sasabihin pa siyang iba but all he did was get the glass of water he left on the coffee table, ruffle your hair as he walks through the stairs and say “Good night, Y/N” before descending into it. That left you even more confused than you were. First, Jay. Now si Riki. With Jay you kind of get it because he was with you during the night at Yes Please. But Riki… Was Riki there? Was he pertaining to that or iba naman yung tinutukoy niya? It has been 3 days since that conversation with Riki and di na kayo nagkikita masyado because most of the time kayong magbblockmates ang magkakasama sa dagat or sa labas. Si Riki naman is with his friends so hindi rin kayo masyado nagkikita. Except this one night. It’s a Saturday night so everyone decided to go to a bar because the nightlife in La Union goes so crazy you can’t miss it. You later on learn nung nasa loob na kayo ng Flotsam and Jetsam na yung tropa pala ni Riki yung nagyaya sainyo na sama sama kayo for this night dahil nakita mo na nandun din sila. Dahil dun sa usapan niyo ni Riki at ni Jay napaisip ka kung may mga nagawa ka ba the past few nights before magbreak na, na hindi kaaya aya. Tinanong mo na rin yung mga nakasama mo that night kung may ginawa ka bang nakakahiya but they don’t remember anything, even sila Tine, Andrea at Jake tinanong mo na and all they would answer is, “Parang wala naman, basta ang alam namin ang dami mong nasuka that night nung pauwi na kayo nila Jay.” Maski si Jay ginugulo mo na pero he’s hellbent on not telling you. Pag talaga hindi ka pa nakakuha ng sagot si Riki na yung guguluhin mo kasi hindi ka na makatulog minsan sa gabi kakaisip kung ano ba yung nangyari. Parang nagkaroon ng shift bigla sa mundo dahil dun sa ‘night’ na minemention ni Riki at ni Jay. Iisang gabi lang ba yun? Or magkahiwalay? This time, hindi ka masyado umiinom. Kasi baka magblack out ka na naman at wala ka maalala sa gabing to. Kaya chill lang na paginom yung balak mo tonight. Kaya tuwing may nagooffer ng hard liquor sayo at ng shot inaayawan mo, cocktails lang iinumin mo for tonight. It’s the first time tonight na nagsama yung tropa ni Riki pati kayong mga blockmates ni Tan. Kaya naman ngayon mo lang din nakausap yung iba niyang friends. Specially si Jungwon, he’s been keeping you busy for the night kasi ayaw niya rin daw uminom masyado kaya kayong dalawa lang ang magkasama ngayon na umiinom ng cocktail habang yung iba kung san san na napadpad. Kung anu ano na naging topic niyo ni Jungwon until napagtripan niyong dalawa magbeer pong kasi merong table sa gilid designated for beer pong. The night ended with both of you being tipsy until nagkayayaan na umuwi. By the end of the night sobrang close niyo na ni Jungwon, figuratively and literally. Hindi mo alam kung dahil ba tipsy na kayong dalawa kaya magkaakbay kayo ngayon habang pasakay kayo ng sasakyan. And when you both enter the villa magkaakbay pa rin kayo. You both say good night to each other bago pumasok sa kanya kanyang kwarto while the others na sobrang lasing deretso na agad sa kama na walang hilamos man lang dahil sa kalasingan. Pero ikaw naghilamos ka muna at nagskincare kasi tipsy ka lang naman. Pero bago ka humiga sa kama naisipan mong uminom ng tubig. Pagbaba mo nakita mo na naman na magisa si Riki sa kitchen at umiinom ng tubig. Tangina. Bakit ba lagi ko nalang siya dito nakakausap?Nakaupo lang siya sa may bar stool ng counter top habang nagpphone pero di mo siya pinansin at kumuha ka ng tubig. Habang sinasalin mo yung tubig narinig mo siyang nagsalita. “Are you and Won friends now?” You look at him and see him with a furrowed eyebrow while scrolling through his phone. Napansin mo na he’s just wearing a white sando. Tangina naman.“Bakit?” You don’t answer his question but instead, ask him back again. “Okay.” He shrugged and then went back to scrolling on his phone. Pagkatapos mo uminom ilalagay mo na sana yung baso sa may lababo at nadaanan mo siya but then you get a whiff of his perfume. That very very familiar perfume. Notes of mint and vetiver. Then you suddenly remembered everything from that night. That freaking ‘night ’sa Yes Please. That ‘night’ Jay was referring to. Because you suddenly remembered him being the first person you see after it. That ‘night’ na nakipagmomol ka kay Riki.
Putangina.
Putangina? Nakipagmomol ako kay Riki non?
The vivid scenario replays in your mind like it’s happening real time because you’re suddenly feeling the heat of his mouth, the coldness of his hands, and smelling the notes of mint and vetiver mixed with alcohol in the air. Di mo napansin nabagsak mo na pala yung baso sa pagkabigla. Good thing that it didn’t break because it was just plastic and Riki was quick to look back at you and see what the commotion was.“You good?” He asks. But you don’t answer him again, instead you ask him back again with a question your mind won’t let you forget. “Riki, nagmomol ba tayo?” You see him smirk as he stood up from his sit to face you now leaning back on the counter top with his arms crossed, kaya tuloy naflex yung biceps niya and you try so hard not to think na putangina, ang hot niya na naman.“Oh, so you remember now?” “So, oo nga?” “Yeah we did. But that like, doesn’t mean anything right?” He said feigning nonchalance, na para bang wala lang sa kanya yun.
It fucking does for me, Riki. It only cemented my attraction towards you, now that I know how your lips feel. How your hands feel when they’re on me. How I only know how it feels in my memory, but it makes me feel crazy. And for some reason I wanna feel it again. Is what you want to say. But you settle with a mere, “of course.”
“And it’s a one time thing so… It’s not that big of a deal.” You stare at him, trying to see with his eyes if that’s what he really feels pero wala kang makita. Then you laugh, maybe at yourself or at this whole situation because holy fuck, nakipagmomol ka na pala sa tao, binalak balak mo pang iwas iwasan tapos nahalikan mo na pala. Putangina lang. “Yeah, sure.” You say as you also try to feign nonchalance na para bang hindi ka muntik mapanghinaan ng loob kanina at masabi kung ano ba tunay mong nararamdaman. Umalis ka sa harap niya at bumalik na sa kwarto mo.
Two can play this game, Riki.
Last day niyo na sa Elyu at uuwi na kayo bukas pero after that revelation with Riki since 2 days ago, parang wala lang talaga. Totoo pala talaga yung sinabi niya na it’s not that big of a deal for him. Sanay naman siguro siya sa mga ganong casual momol lang. After all, he’s an attractive man, women and men alike are willing to throw themselves at him. You would, jusko wala pa ngang isang buwan namomol mo na. So you also try to act like it’s also not that big of a deal, na one time thing lang talaga yun and it will not happen again. You’re sharing this with Jungwon because you two actually became really close and feel mo friends na rin kayo. Hindi mo rin naman mashare sa mga law school blockmates mo because feel mo ijjudge ka lang nila. You also need to have a conversation with Jay na alala mo na but you feel like now is not the right time. “So if ikaw nasa posisyon you’ll act like you don’t care as well?” You ask Jungwon who is stuffing his face with fries habang may Smirnoff Mule sa gilid niya. Napagisipan na naman nila uminom because last day na and as usual, soft liquor lang ulit kayo ni Jungwon. Di mo alam kung bakit ayaw niyang nalalasing, pero ikaw alam mo rason nung sayo. You see him contemplate the situation at hand, your situation, pero di mo kinwento kung sino yung characters. Di rin naman daw niya isshare sa iba and you trust his word for it. He chugs the drink before he answers your question. “If I were you, I would tell him the truth. Na gusto ko makipagmomol ulit. Anong magagawa ng pagkunyari mo na wala kang pake? Pahirapan mo lang sarili mo.” Napaisip ka sa sagot niya. Unlike Jungwon, you’re not as straightforward as him and you didn’t lay down all the facts na mas bata siya, kapatid siya ng tropa mo, at tropa niya yung pinag uusapan niyo. “Pano kung parang ano, kunyari may element na medyo bawal siya? I will not further explain pero… It’s kind of forbidden because there’s too much risk at hand?” You vaguely say. “Ano ba yang minomol mo? Bagets? Blockmate?” He asks innocently. Muntik mo tuloy maibuga yung nainom mong Smirnoff. “Basta!” You answer dismissively kasi baka pag nagbigay ka pa ng masyadong facts madetermine niya na kung sino. “Eh, ano naman kung bagets or blockmate mo? You’re just having fun. Besides, may romantic feelings ka na ba? Edi maging casual ka lang din about it. Learn to detach kumbaga, edi pag may feelings na bitaw na agad if alam mo na casual type of person lang siya. Sabayan mo. Pero kung di mo na masabayan, kalas agad.” “May ka fubu ka ba, Won? Ba’t parang ang lalim ng perspective mo dito sa casual casual thing na ‘to?” Then you see him stop in his tracks habang iniinom niya Smirnoff niya. He settles it down before looking at a certain someone and you follow his eyes. “Tangina? Seryoso ka?” You say in disbelief. Kasi hindi mo expect na nasa ganong sitwasyon siya.“Yup, it’s been going on for a year now. Casual lang, no feelings involved. Like I’ve said, learn to detach. For the both of us, it’s just for pleasure and pang alis stress.” “Never ka talaga nagkafeelings?” Kasi parang ang imposible naman. Ikaw nga nagkacrush kay Ethan tapos kaya ni Jungwon na no feelings involved? Seryoso ba talaga? “I did have a crush on him when we were younger, pero I learned to detach nung narealize ko ganun lang talaga siya kabait sa lahat.” “Paano?” “I don’t know, it just happened.” He shrugs. You narrow your eyes at him. You don’t buy it. Kung ka fubu mo si Ethan baka kumalas ka na agad kasi ang dali daling magkaromantic feelings dun sa tao. Crush na crush mo nga nung first sem eh. Then you realize, na baka naman kaya rin magdetach lang agad. You just chug down the rest of your drink and you don’t answer Jungwon anymore as you try to determine what your next move is. Napatingin ka tuloy kay Riki na kaakbay si Jake habang sumasayaw sila sa gitna with all your other blockmates and his friends.
Bahala na.
Nakauwi na ulit kayo lahat and you are not as drunk as everyone else kaya kayo ni Jungwon yung tumulong sa iba. Pagkatapos niyo tulungan yung mga kasama niyong lasing nagsibalik na kayo sa mga kwarto ninyo. Roommate mo sila Andre and Tine pero ang himbing na ng tulog nila pagkahigang pagkahiga palang nial dahil nga lasing na naman sila. ‘Di mo alam pero nauhaw ka na naman kasi nadehydrate ka pa rin kahit 2 bote lang ng Smirnoff ininom mo. Medyo tipsy ka lang ng konti pero di malakas yung tama. Pagbaba mo na naman sa kitchen andun na naman siya. “Are kitchen at 3 am drinking water and inhibited minds our thing now?” You hear him ask you bago niya inumin yung tubig na sinalin niya sa baso niya. “Siguro.” Habang sinasalin mo yung tubig sa baso mo napansin mo na first time mo lang pala siya makitang mag shirt.Napaisip ka tuloy sa sinabi ni Jungwon kanina. Sabihin mo ba sa kanya? What if ayaw niya naman? Edi nareject ka pa? Pero there’s no harm in trying naman diba? For some reason, nilakasan mo loob mo. If he rejects me then so what?“You know, ever since I learned that it was you who I made out with sa Yes Please, I can’t stop thinking about it.” You see him stop in his tracks and look at you. Tinitigan mo rin siya and you see him raise his left brow at that. Nakasandal na naman siya sa counter top. “And I wanna do it again.” He doesn’t answer you for at least a minute and parang sobrang tagal ng isang minuto na yun. Siguro tinatawanan niya na ako sa isip niya kasi ang desperado ko masyado.He crosses his arms and only asks you, “You wanna do it again?” You nod. And suddenly you’re caged in his arms with both his arms on top of the kitchen sink beside you, and you can smell the mixture of mint, vetiver and alcohol the minute he does it. “Sure ka ba?” And the moment you nodded naramdaman mo na agad yung labi niya sayo and you moaned softly at the contact. This was more harsher than what your memory reserved for you. Then you felt his two hands on you. On your neck and chin to tilt at a certain angle that would best serve him and to lap at your lips. The other one pinasok niya sa shirt mo to caress your waist. You push him slightly. “Akala ko ba one time thing lang?” You ask smirking. “Shh, let’s talk about this later.” He says habang hinila niya ulit yung mukha mo to kiss you and you feel the warmth of his mouth as you wander your tongue around his mouth. You play with his hair on your other hand habang yung kabila naman pinasok mo na rin sa shirt niya para hawakan siya sa tyan niya. Binaba niya yung halik sa may leeg mo hanggang sa may narinig nalang kayong bumukas na pinto kayao napalayo agad kayo sa isa’t isa. “You wanna do it in my room?” “Wala ba si Won don?” “He’s somewhere else, I don’t know where. He does this all the time pero di na yun babalik for sure.” You know where he is and you know why so you just nod and follow him. The moment he closed and locked the door you immediately feel him kiss you again, this time more harsher than the last ones. You reach for the bootom of your shirt and pull it upwards before tossing it somewhere leaving you with nothing but your bra on. “Can I?” He murmurs and you nod as he kisses your left breast and the other one as he looks up at you. He places his hands on your waist, papunta sa taas and he stops when he reaches you chest and he leans forward and you kiss again. “Pwede ba alisin?” Grabe halikan pa lang ginagawa niyo pero you can feel the wetness pooling in your cunt. You just nod at his question, wala ka na energy magsalita.After that, as soon as he removes your bra. You both meet halfway in a harsh kiss. Medyo nararamdaman mo na yung sakit sa labi mo kasi may gigil siya. Pero masarap yung halik, its harsh but it feels good. You hear yourself slightly moan as Riki kneads one of your breasts before pulling back away, taking one of your nipples between his lips while the other one is rolling it between his two fingers. “Riks,” you say softly and you feel yourself arching against his touch and mouth kasi ang sarap ng labi niya sa may dibdib mo. Sa sobrang sarap napahigpit yung hawak mo sa may buhok niya and you feel the vibration of his moan on your mounds as he circles his tongue around your nipple. You grip tighter, closing your eyes because of how good it feels and then he switches. Fuck, lalo kang nawet dun. “Riki.” Riki pulls back to stare at your chest as both of his hands knead it at the same time and when you both stare at each other the same time he asks. “You wanna lie down?”
Tangina.
You both stumble and fall in bed with him on top. He continues what he was doing before as he settles in between your legs and you feel his hard on hitting your thighs as he continues to mouth your breast while the other hand kneads it. “Pwedeng ano…” You feel him stop to look at you. “What?” “Pwedeng ibabaw ako sayo?” He doesn’t answer but he obliges with your request. Before he lets you straddle him he removes his shirt and you stare at his body. Putangina, sobrang hot niya talaga. He undoes his belt, unbuttoning his pants, he takes it off until he’s wearing nothing but his boxers. Kita mo na na half-hard siya. Tangina parang gusto mo siya isubo. Pero pwedeng sa next time nalang siguro muna. He settles in the bed before you straddle him, guiding you in his lap. “Here – fuck. Your cunt feels so hot, are you already wet?” You just smile at him before you run your hands through his pectorals. Riki leans up as you meet him halfway to lean down to kiss. You’re both breathing heavily as you grind against his hard on and you hear him groan. He holds onto your hips tightly bago niya sinabayan yung pag grind mo kissing you on your throat before he starts kissing your boobs again. “Riki.” You whine as he sucks a nipple in his mouth again, fondling with the other using his hands and this time he sucks harder than earlier. You clench your thighs because of this and tug his hair harder. Because of this he circles his tongue around your nipple repeatedly nababaliw ka na sa sobrang sarap. Tangina, ang sarap. “You like that? Masarap ba? Should I do it again?” You only nod as he licks your throat and with a breathy please please he does it on the other breast to do the same. This time mas malakas na yung ungol mo. When he pulls away from kissing and mouthing your breast he grabs your face to guide it downwards to meet his lips. The kiss this time is eager. There’s more pain in the way both of you are kissing and you moan at this, pressing yourself further against his hard on and you feel him meet it halfway rubbing up against you as well. You push him back and he lets his head fall on the bed and you grind harder this time. Grabe yung kapit niya sa bewang mo because of this. This time sabay na kayong umuungol because of how hard you’re grinding against him.“Tangina, ang sarap” you hear him say and it’s the first time you hear him curse in Filipino. Ang hot nun. It’s your turn to watch him fall apart underneath you after he did it when he was mouthing your breasts. You suddenly feel him roll you around like he can’t bear the idea of not making you fall apart underneath him – that it has to be him that’s making you crazy. “Can I remove your shorts?” He says smirking. It’s a playful smirk like he’s thinking of doing something to make you feel undone beneath his fingers and there’s an edge of excitement in his expression. He slowly runs his hand, his fingers down from your stomach on top of your shorts before he waits for your answer.“Please.” That single syllable has him pulling your shirts down and you feel your pulse speeding up hanggang sa wala ka ng suot but your underwear. For a minute, he just allows his gaze to roam around your body bago ka niya tignan sa mata. “Spread your legs.” Not breaking eye contact with him you do as he says. As you do spread your legs you feel the pads of his fingers up and down kung san basang basa na yung underwear mo. “You’re so wet already. Yun palang ginagawa natin? Paano pa kaya if ipasok ko na yung daliri ko sa’yo?” he asks looking back up at you. For some reason, mas hot pala pag kinakausap ka niya ng Filipino. You can’t help but to flutter your eyelids as he exerts pressure, rubbing your slit with your underwear still on. Ang sarap. “Tuloy ko lang ba?” You nod frantically at this, not having the energy to speak anymore. You close your eyes as you feel him continue with what he is doing, stimulating you without really doing anything but circle your clit as he leans to lick your nipple and sucking at it as he removes your underwear fully. Touches you directly and you feel the coldness of his hands on your warm cunt. “Riki,” you whisper. Because of this action you spread your legs further and he keeps going at it, circling your clit as he harshly sucks at your nipples before doing it on the other not wanting to neglect it. “Fuck, ang sarap. Diyan lang please.” He stops sucking at your nipple to look down at what he’s doing with his hands, and then watches at your face to see the pleasure in it. “Like this? Masarap ba if I just do this?” He rubs at your folds, right where you want it and you moan because of this. Grabbing his wrist because of too much pleasure but he doesn’t stop. He just laughs quietly at this, amused. “So you like it like this. Okay, this is noted.” Then he goes back to mouthing around your breasts, your nipple and his fingers still busy stimulating your clit. Sobrang wet mo na and because of this mas nagiging malikot ka na kasi sinasabayan mo na yung kamay niya grinding in his hands to follow his rhythm. He laughs again because of this. “Ang galaw mo, just relax okay?” “Ang sarap eh,” you murmur, looking at him. He only kisses you softly because of this before he stops doing what his fingers are doing before he spreads you wetness with his fingers for a bit, from your cunt to your folds, and he sucks at his fingers to taste you. “Sarap.” He kisses you again to let you taste yourself and you open your eyes and see him go back again. “Pasok ko na fingers ko?” You nod frantically because of this and you hear him curse. He kisses you while he spreads your wetness from your cunt to your folds, back down and then up again several times until you feel the press of his two fingers inside you. “Fuck, ang init mo sa loob. Sobrang wet mo.” He pulls his fingers again only to suck at it using his mouth before he pushes his fingers inside and he starts pleasuring you. He continues to finger you as he kisses your mouth. From time to time he would just stare at your face if the angle is just the right amount to hit the spot of the pleasure. His fingers speed up when he feels you pulsating through his fingers and tighten it which means you’re near. He sits up because of this, speeding it up more as his other hand rub at your clit to stimulate it more at para mas mabilis ang paglabas mo.
Shit, shit, shit.
“Riki, malapit na ako. Dagdagan mo ng isang finger pa, please.” Sobrang lapit mo na and you look at Riki desperately. He adds another fingers in while still speeding it up and rubbing your clit. You look at what he’s doing and you stare at his face with such concentration to make you come undone beneath him. He’s going so fast and so rough with such a consistent pace and tangina tangina naffeel mo na malapit ka. You feel your orgasm rip through you but that doesn’t stop him from doing what he’s doing. He’s still rubbing your clit and still fingering you. “Riki, stop na.” You try to hold his wrist but he’s not stopping. Sobrang intense.You feel your knees cross against each other because of overstimulation as he keeps on going and prolonging your orgasm you feel yourself tingling because of it.
Fuck, sobrang sarap.
“Riki, riki, ohmygod, please.” Then finally, Riki slows down his movements bit by bit. He leans down to kiss your forehead. You feel lifeless against his bed as he settles next to you. You look at him and you see him close his eyes as he crosses his arms against his forehead. “You want me to suck you?” “No, it’s okay. Next time na lang.” Next time? May next time pa? You don’t try to think too much of it. Then you feel him go inside the restroom and wala ka na energy linsan sarili mo kaya you’ll just do it tomorrow but then you feel him clean you with a warm towel. He reaches for your shirt and lets you wear it and you sleep right next to him. And just like that, Riki became a constant in your life.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Sleeping with Riki became a regular thing. It was an unspoken set-up of some sorts because after that night in La Union everything shifted. Riki sent a message on Instagram asking if you wanna meet up a week after and well… you did meet and it became a regular thing of sending each other booty calls. It’s just a casual fuck-buddies set up. Everytime you meet up with him Jungwon’s reminder always looms in your head, following you around.
Sabayan mo. Pero kung di mo na masabayan, kalas agad.
Nobody knows though except the two of you. Which is why when you received a simple message of Carpark ground floor from him after your class at 9 PM you immediately hid your phone as the professor bids his goodbye. As a series of good night, attorney and t hank you, attorney fill up the whole room, you try to sneakily leave the room quietly. But that was short-lived because you feel Jake’s hands on you stopping you on your tracks as you're nearing the door. “Tatakas ka na naman? ‘Di ka na lagi sumasama sa dinner ah.” He says with narrowed eyes and because of this narinig ng iba niyong classmate. “Kaya nga! May kinikita ka ba lagi after class? Madaling madali lagi umalis?” Andrea says with a laugh.“Ilang linggo ka na ganyan. Aminin mo may jowa ka na ba?” Tine joins in with the interrogation. Ever since the unspoken set-up started tuwing gabi after class lang kayo nakakapagkita ni Riki because his class are in the morning and yours are at night. Busy ka sa umaga kasi nagaaral ka. Kaya after class mo lang lagi yung free time. It was always in the carpark though, because hindi pwede sa dorm mo dahil may roommates ka and di rin pwede sa bahay nila because obviously andoon si Ethan. The best bet is just to meet up in the carpark and laging sa sasakyan niya kayo because it’s convenient for the both of you. You knew this was coming, that your friends will find it suspicious na lagi kang umaalis agad. Nagugulat nalang sila pagkatapos magdebrief pagkatapos ng klase sa harap ng main building na wala ka na. “Nagtitipid lang ako, guys. Sa dorm na ako kumakain.” You reason out, hoping it would convince them. “Libre nalang kita dinner tonight if nagtititpid ka.” Ethan says and you immediately look at him with wide eyes and say no.“Gago, wag na!” “Dali na, nagtatampo na si Jake di ka na sumasama samin. Ayaw mo na ba kami kasama?” Andrea says with a pout. “Bukas promise, sasama na ako. May food na kasi sa dorm sayang.” You reason out again with another lie. “Just let her be, guys.” Jay says for the first time and with a knowing look he stares at you na para bang alam niya kung saan ka lagi pumupunta after class. He might have an inkling… after all siya lang ata may alam. ‘Di mo pa siya nakakausap ulit because sobrang busy since second sem na. They let you go after a promise that you’ll go out with them tomorrow. Then it dawns on you, na never niyo nga pala napag-usapan ng maayos ni Riki yung set-up. Like ano ba yung boundaries niyo? Fuck-buddies set up na ba ‘to? Or friends with benefits? Friends ba kayo in the first place? Naisip mo rin na dapat hindi araw araw, katulad ng ginagawa niyo ngayon. While it is fun to just mess around in cars and carparks with Riki, you feel like it’s time for a conversation of whatever the heck this is and put a boundary on it because Jungwon’s reminder just keeps on looming around your head, and if you don’t do it now… Baka magkatotoo yung sinabi niya.
You greeted the security guard who is manning the carpark who probably knows you by now with a smile as you enter the vicinity. After a few more walks you immediately spot the black sports car . You don’t know anything about cars but you remember asking him about it and a mention of a Miata that he got when he turned 18 but the rest are gibberish because wala kang maintindihan. You asked him if wala ba siyang ibang sasakyan na pwedeng gamitin because nasisikipan ka sa loob and he refused to use their other family cars, because kung anu-anong ginagawa niyo sa loob. You no longer knock at dali daling pumasok sa sasakyan niya dahil baka may makakita pa sayo. With a car as luxurious and loud as this, it’s easy to pinpoint who owns the car in the campus because news runs fast inside the campus. The moment you enter the car, ‘di mo pa nabababa yung bag mo but he immediately greets you in with a kiss. You slightly push him away. “Teka lang, Riki.” You say to him at binaba muna yung bag mo sa may gilid mo. “Why?” He asks you confused and you see him burrow his eyebrows. He looks cute when he’s confused. Normally kasi when you enter his car wala ng usap usap, you guys immediately go with the action. There was this one time na 3 hours kayo halos and you were worried para sa makina at gas nung sasakyan niya. Okay lang naman magtagal sa carpark because bukas pa naman yung gate malapit sa may hospital ng campus. “We need to talk about whatever this thing is going on between the two of us.” Sabi mo habang tinuro mo siya at yung sarili mo. “What do you mean?” He asks with an even more burrowed brows bago niya buksan yung ilaw sa loob ng sasakyan. With the overhead lights on, you can see him better. You stare at his face because it’s rare you get to do so, most of the time you meet when it’s night and the lights aren’t on when you enter and leave the car after he drops you off in your dorm. Kaya you don’t get to see his face clearly most of the time.You stare at the mole underneath his left eye, you like looking at it when you get the chance to do so. You love it. ‘Di mo alam yung rason but you just like it. He has other moles all throughout his body, but this one is your favorite. Then you get reminded of the reality when you hear him call you. Nakita mo na napansin niyang tinititigan mo lang siya kaya nakataas na yung isang kilay niya.
Fuck. What was that?
You clear your throat. “Like ano ba tayo?” “What? You want a label? Akala ko ba this just for… fun?” You see him confused again and you try not to think about what he just said. “No!” You immediately say at nakita mo nagulat siya sa lakas ng pagkakasabi mo. “I mean… like fuck buddies ba ‘to? Or friends with benefits? Friends ba tayo?” You say softly this time compared to the first. You see him nodding like he now understands what you are trying to imply. “Aren’t we friends by this point?” You see him cross his arms and look ahead in front of the car kaya hindi na siya nakaharap sayo. Are you really? Kasi ang friends with benefits diba gumagawa pa naman kayo ng non-sexual activities outside of it. Kapag fuck buddies, sex lang talaga. And both of your situation fits the latter more. But you would like it if it's the former, sometimes you want to just… hangout with him. “Yes, but…” You say, iniisip mo if sasabihin mo ba na minsan gusto mo lang din naman maghangout lang. “But?” “Wala.” You say, kasi baka maging komplikado lang. “What made you ask this?” “Right, napapansin na kasi ng kuya mo pati tropa ko na ‘di ako masyado sumasama sakanila after class dahil nga nagkikita tayo to…” Di mo matuloy yung sinasabi mo kasi for some reason kung anu ano na nagawa ninyo pero nahihiya ka pa rin sa kanya na para bang ikaw yung mas bata sa inyong dalawa. “To? Why are you so shy?” You see him smirking and teasing you. You flip him off and roll your eyes. “Basta yon, and I’d like to suggest na magset nalang tayo ng schedule at wag na natin araw arawin. Di ka pa ba nagsasawa?” “Hell, no. Ang sarap mo eh.” Nanlaki yung mata mo sa sinabi niya. Riki is really good with dirty talk when you get down to things. Pero in normal conversations like this? ‘Di siya verbal about it and it’s the first time you hear him say stuff like this to you in a non-sexual setting. You realized na malakas at makapal lang talaga yung loob at mukha mo kapag may alak sa sistema mo. Pero pag wala? Para bang hiyang hiya ka lagi. It’s always Riki who’s leading the both of you because you’re too shy to be forward about the things you like doing. Just like right now. Tinakip mo tuloy yung bibig niya out of reflex and you hear him laughing and feel the vibration through your hands because of his laugh. Pero inalis mo rin agad kasi narealize mo kayo lang din naman ang nasa loob ng sasakyan.You know what, we should fix that. Why do you get so shy as if you don’t like hearing that when I go down on you?” He says as he stares at you with a grin on his face.You also realized one thing about Riki – he likes teasing. Every chance he can get he will do so. Just like right now, this was supposed to be a serious conversation but he still finds the chance to tease you. You also realized another thing – that you like it when he does so. Because it’s so far from what you thought he was like. Akala mo napaka seryoso at cold niya, but he’s the total opposite when he’s comfortable around you. You like being on the other end of the teasing, because it means he’s comfortable around you and that he likes being around you. “Wait lang, let’s go back to the real topic. Let’s set a boundary. Pwede bang kahit thrice a week nalang?” You say at di mo pinansin yung pangiinis niya sa’yo. “I can work with that.” You see him nodding as he looks ahead again. “Magmessage ka nalang if kelan mo gusto. Pero dahil baka magiging busy as the weeks come, baka matanggihan kita. Okay lang ba?” "Yeah, of course. I don’t mind.” Sabi niya habang tumingin ulit siya sayo as he asks, “Okay, what else do you have in mind that you want to set a boundary to?” "Can we see other people outside of this? Exclusive ba ‘to or hindi naman?” You avoid his look and stare at your hands picking at your nails. “Do you want to see other people?” He asks the question back at you, na para bang you have the ball in your hands and you get a call on this. If you were to get a call on this, sasabihin mo hindi. Gusto mo exclusive lang sana. But then Jungwon’s reminder. Sabayan mo. Pero kung di mo na masabayan, kalas agad. Natatakot ka na kapag exclusive ‘to, ay baka mas mabilis kang mahuhulog. Kakailangan mo kumalas agad. You don’t want that. You want this to last as much as possible hangga’t hindi mo na siya kayang sabayan. So you lie. With a smile on your face. “Okay lang ba na hindi exclusive?” You don’t look at him as you say this. “You want to see other people?” You just nod pero di ka pa rin tumitingin. “Okay.” He said it so fast na para bang agree rin siya na gusto niya rin naman na ‘di talaga exclusive. You look at him because of this and you see a certain look on his face as he looks ahead, that you can’t tell what it means. “Okay lang?” “Yeah, I don’t mind.” You see him shrug as if it’s nothing. You also just nod and there’s just silence for a minute before he speaks again. “So now that we’ve already set all the boundaries. Can I kiss you now?” You look at him and nod. The minute you nodded you feel his lips on you and just like that another night ends with Riki in your arms and when this ends alam mo na hahanap hanapin mo ‘to. But you don’t want to think of the future too much, so you just relish through it all hangga’t nakakasabay ka pa.
You slump in your seat after a professor just berated you in front of the class. It wasn’t a cold call because you were assigned to discuss the case. You studied this case for a whole day. You memorized the codal provisions in relation to the case. You studied everything, but for some reason may tinanong siya na hindi related sa kaso. Then your mind went blank. ‘Di ka na makasagot kaya nagalit siya and called you names and things.
“You are a law student, you should know the law! Anong kaibahan mo sa mga tambay diyan sa labas? Ikaw nagaaral ng batas sila hindi.”
Sanay ka naman na sa mga bad recitations, but for some reason this one felt different. Mas tagos, dahil alam mo sa sarili mo na nagaral ka naman talaga. Pero minalas ka lang na tinanong ka bigla sa hindi na related sa kaso mo. You felt a hand caressing your shoulders after you sit and you look at Tine with a worried look in her eyes. “Okay lang ako, ano ka ba!” You say faking it with a smile. The class ended, but you can still hear the voice of your professor scolding you. You tried to sneakily leave the room and this time no one stops you kasi gets na nila yun. Na gusto mo muna mag-isa. You don’t even spare any of them a single glance. Maybe it’s because of embarrassment, kaya ayaw mo munang sumama sa kanila. So you pull out your phone and send a message to Riki. You haven’t seen each other for a week now, naging sobrang busy kasi sa law school. Second sem is much more harder than the first sem, akala mo you already got the hang of it but hindi pa pala. Every sem pala kailangan mo magadjust and magadapt because there are different sets of professors, kailangan mo na naman alamin paano ka makakapasa sa mga subject nila. Every time Riki asks to meet up you always decline and you never really ask him if he wants to if may free time ka dahil na rin sa sobrang pagod. But tonight, you want to see him and forget about everything that happened tonight. Even just for a few hours. You: hi And after a minute he immediately replies. Riki: Hey :)You: gusto mo magkita? Riki: Are you sure? You’re not busy? You: yupppppRiki: Sure?You: oo ngaaYou: or ikaw busy? if busy ka okay lang namanRiki: No, di ako busy. Where do I pick you up? You: kita nalang tayo carpark? magstay muna ako lover’s laneRiki: Okay When he sends ‘I’m here na sa carpark,' pumunta ka na agad pero di mo makita yung sasakyan niya. Then you feel a vibration from your phone. ‘I’m not using the Miata today pala. If you see a black Ford Raptor, that’s me.’ You roam your eyes around the ground floor and you immediately spot a lone black pickup in the very corner. You knock and the windows roll down. You see Riki inside the car smiling at you. “The door’s open.” You sit down inside the car and the first thing he asks you is, “You okay?” You look at him because of this and you realize, na namiss mo siya kasama. “Oo naman.” You say smiling to convince him that you are indeed okay, kahit na hindi naman talaga. You wasted no time at ikaw na ang unang gumalaw para halikan siya. You missed this. You missed touching him. You missed coming to him after a very stressful day. The kiss was slow, despite it being the first kiss you share after a week of not seeing each other. Both your hands are holding the nape of his neck and his hands remain on your waist. The both of you are just kissing each other softly, then you suddenly feel your face being wet and a salty liquid in your mouth as you kiss Riki and you both stop because he probably felt it too. Then you realize that you are unconsciously crying. “Sorry.” You say as you lean your head against the car seat habang inaalis yung mga luha sa mata mo. But it’s not stopping no matter how you try to stop it. “Do you really wanna do this tonight?” He says with a worried look on his face.You don’t answer him though, parang wala ka palang energy tonight. Pero sayang kasi yung punta niya dito. Nagdrive pa siya. “We can just hangout if you want.” He assures you kahit na hindi mo siya sinasagot. You just nod at him. “You don’t have classes naman tomorrow right?” He says habang nagsisimula na siyang magdrive paalis sa carpark. “Yup.” You say and you see him reaching into the glove compartment to pull out a box of tissue and hands it to you without speaking. You both don’t talk much during the drive. You also don’t ask him where you are going but sobrang haba ng byahe nakatulog ka na. At some point nakita mo nung nagising ka na nasa NLEX na kayo pero natulog ka na lang din ulit. Nagising ka nalang nung niyugyog ka na ni Riki to wake up. “We’re here.” He says looking at you as he fixes the hair that fell in your face para ilagay sa likod ng tenga mo. You try to squint to look at where you are but it was an empty field full of grass. “Asan tayo?” “Clark.” "Ha?!” Sabi mo habang nagising na diwa mo kasi narealize mo kaya pala ang haba ng byahe kasi halos 2 oras kayo bumyahe papuntang Pampanga. “Bakit tayo andito? Ang layo nito, Riki.” He just shrugged at bumaba na siya ng sasakyan kaya naman sinundan mo siya. You see him retrieving two collapsible camping chairs from the back of the pickup. “Pick the paper bag sa may likod ng sasakyan.” He tells you at pagkabukas mo nakita mong may paper bag na may lamang canned Pale Pilsen at Red Bull. You picked up the paper bag and sinundan siya sa kung saan pinwesto niya yung camping chair malapit sa may puno. It’s already 11 PM and wala na masyadong tao. As soon as he finishes setting up the camping chairs umupo na siya and you follow him as you settle the paper bag in the middle of the two of you. He opens a can of canned Pale Pilsen and hands it to you. You take a sip from the can and you see him opening the Red Bull for himself. Silence engulfs the both of you. But it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence. It was comforting. This was the alone time that you needed. Like you are both alone together. You don’t talk. You don’t need to say anything to fill the void. Because the silence speaks for itself.You’re already in the middle of your drink when he speaks. “Do you want to talk about it?” His drink is already finished and settled next to his feet. You look at him properly for the first time tonight. Nasa tabi mo lang siya kaya di mo siya matignan kanina kasi pareho kayong nakaharap sa may field. Naka suot siya ng black sleeveless shirt and you notice the moles forming a triangle in his left arm. You touched it without thought. Your cold hand because of the canned beer contrasting the warmth of his skin when you traced his moles startled him for a bit kaya napatingin siya sayo. “I really like your moles.” You say still tracing them with your index finger.Then he understands that you don’t want to talk about it and he indulges. “I have several in my body.” He replies also staring at the moles in his left arm where you are tracing it. “Alam ko.” “Of course, alam mo. You’ve seen my body several times.” He says slightly laughing. “Oo, pero lagi namang sa dim lighting kaya ‘di ko rin makita nang maayos.” “Nagrereklamo ka ba na sa sasakyan lang natin lagi ginagawa?” He says, this time warming up to teasing you kasi parang medyo okay ka na.“Hindi ah.” You say scoffing at uminom ulit ng beer.“We actually have a Condo in Taguig and Makati. But I felt like it was too bothersome for you if dadalhin pa kita doon kasi malayo sa dorm mo.” He says. “Baliw, okay lang. Di nga ako nagrereklamo.” “Okay, if you say so. But just say it if ayaw mo na sa sasakyan lang. Hahatid pa rin naman kita after if you want to go home.” He says shrugging as he opens another can of Red Bull. “Huy, tama ka na sa Red Bull baka magpalpitate ka.” “It’s fine, para di ako antukin sa byahe.” He says as he chugs down the drink. You stare ahead at the field. “Favorite ko yung sa baba ng kaliwang mata mo.” You say not looking at him at inubos na yung natitira mong beer. Kumuha ka ulit ng bago at triny mong buksan pero ‘di mo mabuksan kaya kinuha niya sayo para tulungan ka na. “Why is it your favorite?” He says as he hands you the can back. You look back at him and find him already looking at you. The only source of light is the street lamp illuminating in his face. You stare back at him but your focus is on his mole in his left eye. You realize right there and then why it is your favorite mole out of all. Because everytime you stare at it you see his eyes, and you also like looking at his eyes. His eyes speak volumes without needing to say anything. You stare back ahead again. “Secret.” “Psh, just say you like staring at me kaya favorite mo yung nasa mata ko.” “Feeler.” You both talk about the most random things you could think of until napunta yung conversation sa family niya. How you learned that he’s not really interested in Medicine. He just went down that path because of his family history and because Ethan didn’t follow their paths. Their parents want at least one of their sons to follow their footsteps at dahil dalawa lang sila, Riki had no choice. He actually wanted to take up an Arts related course and you realized kaya siguro puro halos artworks yung nasa kwarto niya at ang galing niyang manamit because he’s actually more inclined and interested in Arts. Maybe that’s his only way to show his passion for it. Then the conversation shifted to past relationships. “Nagkajowa ka na ba ever?” You ask. This time ubos na yung mga inumin niya kaya nakatingin nalang kayo sa field. Wala naman kayong view na nakikita but you are both still staring ahead afraid to look at each other for a long time. “Yeah, it was long term. Family friend namin.” Nagulat ka, because you didn’t deem Riki as someone who was in a long term relationship. “Huh? Talaga? Gano katagal?” “We were together for 7 years. We got together when we were in 9th grade then we broke up nung 3rd year college na.” “Bakit kayo nagbreak?” “She was studying abroad, so maintaining the long distance relationship was really hard for us. We both agreed to just break up because it wasn’t working.” “Naguusap pa rin kayo?” “Sometimes, pero kamustahan na lang.” You nod. It was a revelation to you na may naging long term na jowa si Riki. But he does seem like the type of person na nagkajowa na, but not long term. “She was my first girlfriend. That’s why up until now, it’s still hard for me to find someone else. I think I got used to her.” You don’t say anything back. Kasi ano ba naman ang pwede mo sabihin don. How do you even console your fuck buddy about his ex-girlfriend? “How about you? Have you ever been in a relationship?” “Never.” You say. During high school, sobrang focused ka lang sa pagaaral. Nung college naman, halos puro dating lang pero walang umabot sa relasyon. Kaya ngayon sa law school, ‘di mo alam kung magkakajowa ka pa ba kasi parang sobrang busy mo wala kang time makipagdate around. Kayo nga ni Riki sa gabi na after class nagkikita. “Wait. Really?” He says shocked. “Bakit? Gulat na gulat ka naman diyan.” “Nothing. It’s just that, you look like it’s easy to take care of you so why hasn’t anyone tried yet?” You were taken aback by his answer. You feel your heartbeat beating fastly, faster than the flutter of wings of the butterflies in your stomach.
Fuck, eto na sinasabi ko.
“Gago, wag ka nga nagsasalita ng ganyan.” “Why?” He says confused. But you don’t answer him and you just stood up and tell him, “uwi na tayo.” In hopes that your heartbeat will go back to its normal speed and the butterflies to go back where they are. You went home that night happy and suddenly wala na sa isip mo yung bad recitation mo. For some reason, out of all the times you’ve hung out with Riki this was the most pleasurable despite it being a non-sexual activity and that has you feeling scared because day by day Jungwon’s reminder becomes bigger. It’s still following you around like a reminder that when that day comes, you’ll have to let go.Na kapag hindi mo na kaya sabayan, kailangan mo na kumalas. And it’s scary, because by the end of the night a terrifying realization hits you: that you don’t want Riki to end up being just a memory that you will hold on to.
It was that time in the school year where everyone is just burnt out and the anxiety levels are through the roof. In short, lahat kayo pagod na. The morale inside the classroom is too low. Lahat pagod, bangag, at sabog. Minsan pumapasok nalang na ang dala dala lang ay lakas ng loob. Kaya naman naisip mo na maghanap ng hobby besides watching series or movies and reading fiction novels. You want a physical hobby na makakatulong man lang kahit konti sa pagboost ng morale mo. Sinuggest ni Jake na tumakbo ka dahil ayaw mo naman sumama sa kanila sa gym, tutal marami rin naman tumatakbo around the campus. You asked him if he wanted to join you and he said na wala siyang time tumakbo kasi nagffocus siya sa paggym ngayon, lagi sila magkasama ni Jay na nag ggym kapag stress na. Tinanong mo rin sila Andrea and Tine pero wala raw silang time at tinatamad sila. Kaya naman nagsuggest sila na maghanap ka ng accountability running buddy.Ayaw mo magpost sa Facebook running groups kasi baka makita ng ibang friends mo kaya naisipan mong magpost sa Reddit.You posted it on the r/Tomasino subreddit.
hi! i always see people running around inside and outside the campus. meron bang running club sa ust? or if wala i’m trying to find an accountability running buddy! :) preferably a med or law student para same wavelength ng busyness and around my age na rin hahaha! also madali sana if u dorm/condo around the campus hehe any gender is okay! :)
Within 10 minutes upong posting, you already received a comment from a certain 12h00n08. 12h00n08: Hey! I’m g to be your accountability running buddy! :) You send the user a direct message kasi balak mong itanong yung schedule niya. you: hi! what’s your sched like?? 12h00n08: Here12h00n08: [picture] Pagkacheck mo ng schedule niya kita mo na parehas niyong free time umaga ng Tuesday and Thursday pati na rin hapon ng Saturday and Sunday. you: okay :) my similar free time with urs are mornings on tues, thurs and afternoons on sat and sun 12h00n08: Oh, that’s nice! Are you a med student too? you: ay hindi i’m in law school 12h00n08: Ah, okay! :)12h00n08: Are you g to run tomorrow? But we’ll run outside the campus because I don’t think they allow students to run inside on Sundays.you: g naman! what time??12h00n08: Are you good with around 5:30pm so it’s not that hot? you: okay lang!12h00n08: Okay, here’s my number +63 911 151 0159you: eto akin +63 917 725 8908you: ano pala name mo? 12h00n08: You can call me Hoon :) you: oki mine’s y/n! 12h00n08: Okay! See you tom, Y/N! 🫡 You both agreed to meet up in a McDonalds near the campus. Taga Dapitan ka pa kasi and they live around España, so napagusapan na magmeet nalang halfway. They insisted na sa Dapitan nalang makipag kita para raw mas malapit sayo but you were adamant na dapat halfway nalang. Wala na rin siyang nagawa kasi ang kulit mo. Mas nauna kang dumating sa agreed time ng meet up. 5:00 PM palang pumunta ka na because you don’t want to be late dahil you value your time, and they also probably value theirs because Med student siya. This is your first attempt at running, nanood ka ng videos sa YouTube kanina ng kung ano ba dapat ang gawin before, during, and after running para naman hindi ka mapahiya mamaya. Tapos yung sapatos pa na suot mo yung luma mong Nike Roshe Run nung high school ka pa, ‘di mo alam kung pwede ba talagang pangtakbo yun. You were just waiting for your accountability running buddy to come when you received a text message from them saying na nasa may Mcdo na rin daw siya. You roam your eyes around the place at naghanap ng naka white sleeveless shirt at Asics na running shoes dahil yun daw suot niya. May nakatalikod nakaupo malapit sa may glass panel kang nakita na ganon yung get up kaya nilapitan mo at kinalabit mo. Pagkaharap sayo nung tao para kang naubusan ng hininga. Kasi putangina, may gantong kasing gwapo pala sa campus? When he stands up to greet you with a warm smile and a slight hug na para bang isang dekada na kayo magkakilala kinailangan mong tumingala dahil sa tangkad niya. Pero parang mas matangkad pa rin si Riki. This man in front of you right now is the very epitome of a stereotypical Med student – maputi, chinito, matangkad, mabango, mukhang amoy baby powder at mukhang fresh akala mo hindi nasstress. The white sleeveless shirt he is wearing showcases the hard work he put into his body, dahil halatang halata yung biceps niya. Nagwwork out din siguro sa gym ‘to? Tangina ang dami niya namang time for a med student? “Hey, Y/N! Nice to finally put a face on the name.” He says habang nakangiti pa rin siya. “Hi, Hoon.” You say at nginitian rin siya. “Did you warm-up already?” He asks you as he leads you out of the fastfood restaurant. “Yup, sa dorm. Naisip ko kasi parang ang sikip dito walang pwesto para makapagwarm-up. Pero heads up lang, first time ko kasi tumakbo so baka yung pacing ko compared sayo mabagal pa.” You warn him. “Oh, no it’s fine! Sabayan ko nalang din muna pacing mo. How many kilometers are you aiming to reach today?” He says habang sinusundan mo lang siya sa kung saan. “I did my research, parang enough na siguro ang 3K for a beginner noh?” You ask him dahil mukhang sanay na sanay naman na siyang tumakbo. “Yeah, if you want 3K lang muna tayo this week then let’s increase nalang week by week para masanay katawan mo.” Tumigil siya sa may harap ng Gate 7 ng campus. You just nod at whatever he says dahil wala ka namang mainput. “Let’s start here nalang sa Noval, then Dapitan, Lacson and España. We’ll just circle the campus. Do you have an app where you can track your run?” He asks you. “Yeah, yung Strava. I told you I did some research, but to be honest susundan ko nalang kung ano sasabihin mo because I really have no idea what to do.” You say laughing and he laughs too at napansin mo na nawawala yung mata niya kapag tumatawa siya. “You’re good. I’m not an accountability running buddy for nothing, I’ll help you.” You smile at him because of this. Jusko! Tapos mabait pa siya? “Are you ready? Bagalan ko pacing ko para masabayan kita.” He says habang inaayos niya ulit yung sintas ng sapatos niya. You nod and then nagsimula na kayong tumakbo. He was truthful when he said babagalan niya pacing niya para sabayan ka. Nahihiya ka tuloy kasi baka sanay na ‘to sa mabilisan at mahabang takbo. Wala pa man atang 10 minutes pero parang pagod na pagod ka na. Chineck mo phone mo at nakaka 1kilometers palang kayo, pero parang eto na limit ng energy mo. Hindi ka naman kasi talaga nagwworkout or exercise, considering your lifestyle, iniisip mo kasi magaral ka nalang instead of doing those. Napansin siguro ni Hoon na napapagod ka na kaya tumigil muna siya at tumigil ka rin. Pagkatingin mo parang walang wala pa rin sa kanya tapos ikaw hingal na hingal na. “You wanna stop first?” You just nod dahil wala kang energy magsalita at pinunasan yung pawis na namuo sa may noo mo. “Sorry, matatagalan ata takbo natin today.” “It’s fine, don’t worry about it. Ganyan din ako when I first started running. Let’s brisk walk for the next 5 minutes, then start ulit ng takbo for 8 minutes para we can reach the 3K agad.”You agreed to this kaya inabot kayo ng halos 40 minutes bago matapos yung 3K. Hinatid ka ni Hoon sa may dorm ninyo dahil balak mo pang mag-aral for your class tomorrow. Nakapagusap kayo pauwi at nalaman mo na 1st year med student pa lang din siya at pangalis stress niya raw yung pagtakbo and workout. After the run, kahit na sobrang pagod mo ang gaan sa pakiramdam. Parang nawala rin yung stress mo. Which is why your mornings on Tuesdays and Thursdays and afternoons on Saturdays and Sundays became your regular running time with Hoon. Nagkikita nalang kayo ni Riki at least a maximum of twice a week minsan isang beses nalang, sobrang busy niyo na kasing dalawa, lalo na ikaw. Tapos last week hindi pa kayo nakapagkita kasi ang daming ginagawa sa law school kaya natatanggihan mo siya. It became a routine – of seeing each other in one week and then not seeing a week after. You always say sorry na hindi na kayo nakakapagkita and he’s always understanding of it, kasi law student din naman yung kuya niya so nakikita niya kung gaano talaga kabusy. It was Valentine’s day today, kaya yung buong campus punong puno ng mga bulaklak at mga magjowa. For you it was just another normal day, kasi may recitation ka pang kailangan isipin. You spent the whole day reading cases and memorizing codal provisions. It was before your class, nakatayo ka na hawak hawak yung codal mo habang nagmememorize when you heard a notification from your phone. It was a message from Riki asking if you’re free after tonight kasi wala ka naman pasok bukas. Riki: Are you free tonight? You: oo wala akong pasok tom kaya okay langRiki: I’ll wait for you at the carpark after your class. You: 👍 Pagkatapos na pagkatapos ng klase mo dumiretso ka sa carpark, pero di mo makita yung pick-up sa lagi niyang pinagpaparkan. Ever since nung nag Pampanga kayo laging yung Raptor na yung gamit niya. You asked him about it one time kung bakit yun na ginagamit niya and ang sabi niya lang. “Because you said nahihirapan ka if yung Miata yung gamit ko.” You tried not to think too much about it because that’s just how Riki is, he’ll go out of his way to make everyone comfortable parang kuya niya. Kahit na minsan napapaisip ka ba kung casual at platonic lang but you are human after all, syempre naaapektuhan ka sa mga maliliit na gestures niyang ganon. Riki: I forgot to tell you I’m using the Miata today. Pagkakita mo sa sasakyan niya pumasok ka na agad. “Bakit eto gamit mo today?” Tanong mo sa kanya pagkapasok mo. “Because we’re going to the condo tonight.” He shrugged as he started to drive. “Ha?! Iuwi mo ako agad ah, ayaw ko magsleep-over.” You promised yourself na never ka magsstay kapag pumupunta kayo sa condo nila kasi the chances of cuddling each other after sex is high. Tapos mas madaling magcatch ng feelings pag ganon, eh parang nanganganib ka na nga kaya as much as possible you’re setting a boundary. “Yeah, yeah.” Silence fills the space habang on the way kayo sa condo. “Happy Valentine’s Day, by the way.” He suddenly says while looking ahead.“Wala kang ka-date today?” You ask him. You never talk about each other’s dating life kasi ikaw wala ka naman makkwento. Kahit sinabi mo na ‘di exclusive yung sainyo, you just don’t want to date around. Pero yung kanya ‘di rin naman siya nagkkwento. You also don’t ask him about it, buhay niya naman yan. Pero kung sinabi niyang meron siyang dinedate, naisip mo baka masasaktan ka pa rin kahit ikaw naman ang nagsabi na pwede naman. “No. You?” “Wala rin.” “Guess we’re each other’s date then?” He says smirking as he looks at you para inisin ka.Yan na naman siya. When he drops statements like this nararamdaman mo na naman yung bilis ng tibok ng puso mo. Yung mga paru-paro sa tiyan mo. Madali lang sabihin para sa kanya, because it means nothing. But then you remind yourself again. Casual lang ‘to. “Gago.” You heard him laugh because of this. Right, for him that was just a silly banter. A silly joke. But for you, it means something. But you don’t tell him that so you just stay silent again. “You wanna eat first?” You nod at him kaya naman nagdrive thru kayo sa unang fast-food na nakita niyo. You were about to hand him your payment pero tinanggihan niya. “Why are you always so adamant to pay? Ako na bahala.” He says pero inaabot mo pa rin sa kanya.“Riki, magjowa lang gumagawa non. Hindi naman tayo magjowa.” “So?” He looks at you with a raised brow. “Anong so?!” “Can’t a friend treat you on Valentine’s day?” Napatahimik ka tuloy dun. Friend. Oo nga, friends naman kayo. “May point ka.” “See, kulit mo.” He says with a smirk. “Whatever.” You say rolling your eyes and tumawa siya dahil dun. “I’ll let you pay next time.” It scares you, that you’re getting used to this. That when this ends, all that will be left with you are memories. In Obligations and Contracts may dalawang uri ng obligasyon. A conditional obligation and an obligation with a period. Kapag condition ang sabi it is future and uncertain and if it’s a period it is future and certain. And you know this reciprocal obligation that is going on with the two of you is one with a period. Because the ending of this is certain. Sigurado ka na matatapos ‘to at some point. Hindi mo lang alam kung kailan. That when that time comes when there is already an extinguishment of the obligation, you’ll have to accept it. Kasi ganun naman talaga dapat. “I wanna try something with you tonight.” Riki says habang nakaupo siya sa kama both his hands in the bed habang nakatingin sayo at nakatayo ka sa harap niya habang inaalis mo yung blazer na suot mo pati yung ID na suot mo.“Natatakot ako pag sinasabi mo yan.” “Why?” He says slightly laughing and raising his eyebrows at you. Tinakpan mo yung mukha niya at tinulak ng konti. “Kung anu ano nangyayari pag sinasabi mo yan eh.” Sabi mo bago umupo sa tabi niya para ihiga yung upper part ng katawan mo at tumitig sa ceiling. “You act like you don’t like what I suggest most of the time.” He says scoffing at sumunod sa paghiga mo at pagtitig sa ceiling. “If this ends, we’ll still be friends right?” He asks you pero nakatingin pa rin siya sa ceiling. You look at him. He’s still staring at the ceiling so you can only see the left side of his face. Tinitigan mo yung mga nunal niya sa mukha. You first trace the one near his ear, then the one in his jaw and lastly the one in his chin. When this ends, you can still stare at his moles, but you won’t have the privilege to trace them anymore. To hold them in your hands and feel it through your fingers. That it will hurt you more to just stare at his moles and not hold it instead of not seeing him entirely, because by then it’ll be easier to accept the ending. “What if, ayoko?” You say truthfully. He looks at you but there’s no judgement and remorse in his face, but understanding – he’s always been like this. “I won’t hold it against you.” He says as he holds the hand you’re using to trace his moles. You nod and you stare ahead again but he’s still holding your hand. He does not push further because he understands, he always does. He deciphers the implication that you wish to have no contact if this ends. The tension is palpable in the air because of the conversation but you break it by asking him. “Ano yung gusto mo try?” “Do you want to ride my face?” He says as he settles his arms so he could support his head as he looks at you with a knowing smile. Nanlaki yung mata mo sa suggestion niya. You’ve never tried it before. So you don’t know how it works, you’ve seen it in porn videos pero natatakot ka na baka madaganan mo yung mukha niya. “Sure ka?” “Yeah. I’ve tried it before and I liked it. So I want to try it with you.” ‘Di mo alam kung maiinis ka sa thought na nagawa niya na dati, for sure sa ex-girlfriend niya or matutuwa ka na gusto niya itry. With you. “Natatakot lang ako baka madaganan ko mukha mo.” “Don’t worry about that. So do you want to?” Sabi niya habang yung kamay niya ay napunta na sa bewang mo and his hand settles on an exposed part of your skin as he runs his thumb through it. You just nod because he’s so good at this – convincing. To the point that you’re convinced that maybe this could be more than what it is. But that’s just all in your head. So you convince yourself in turn – that this is just what it is. A friend with benefits set up. “Sure?” He raises his brow for one last question but you’re impatient. So you waste no time in grabbing his face. You settle your hands in his nape. The kiss is aggressive. After all, it has been a week since you’ve last seen each other. His hands feeling your waist. You tilt your head para mas malalim yung halik. Then you feel him na mas gumigil yung halik niya nung ginilid mo yung ulo mo.“I missed this.” He whispers to you. “Halata nga.” You say laughing. Tumawa rin siya ng mahina bago ka halikan ulit. This time his hand is feeling you everywhere. His one arm is holding his body while the other one is feeling you up inside your blouse. Bumaba yung halik niya sa leeg mo as he starts unbuttoning your blouse and removing your bra, his fingers are quick and sure, and then he pulls back to stare down at you. Licking his lips as he runs a hand down your chest, holding one of your breasts, squeezing it gently. He leans in to kiss your mounds, one boob and then the other one. He looks up at you to kiss you back again. Then you feel his hands enter your slacks and he runs his hands through your clothed clit. Then you feel a strong surge of arousal that made you arch your back. “You really like it when I do this noh?” He says as he circles his hand in your clit. You only answer him with a moan and you sloppily reach for his face to kiss him again. It’s messy this time because of the pleasure, you can feel the mixture of your saliva and his saliva dripping on the side of your mouth. You can already feel yourself feeling close but then he pulls back. He removes his shirt before he lies back near the headboard. “Game?” Instead of answering him, you crawl to him before you settle yourself first on top of his pants. You kiss him first softly and pull back to remove your slacks and panties. “Put your legs on either side of my head, baby.” Licking his lips he gestures on top of him near his neck. You feel another arousal and your heartbeat speeding up but you do as he says, getting into the position with both his hands guiding you. Soon enough your cunt is on full display for him. Kanina nahihiya ka pa sa thought na gagawin mo ‘to, but you don’t care anymore because all you want to do is to reach your pleasure. He caresses your thighs with his hand as the other one’s already tracing your slit. “Did you miss my mouth for you to be this wet already?” You nod at him. Hinawakan mo yung headboard for strength and you suddenly feel him lick a stripe upwards up until your clit to suck on it. You moan because of this, shaking a little. It’s because of the excitement and the anticipation. It’s a new position that you both haven’t tried yet and he feels it from you because you feel him hold your hip and waist as he stares at you to say. “I’ll guide your movements.”You just nod again because wala ka na naman energy magsalita dahil sa sarap. You close your eyes as soon as you feel him start licking you up and down. You feel his hands guiding you to move yourself up and down against his mouth, his face, his pretty pretty face. You start grinding with a rhythm as he still guides you but you can no longer concentrate because of how good he is at taking care of you – of eating you out. The eagerness and intent to make you feel good is always in the forefront of his mind. Then you feel him reach for your hands and he’s guiding it to his hair so you hold on to it while his other hand holds your hand to clasp it on to his. You feel his thumb caress your hands and you know this is his way of communicating to you that you are doing good. You stare at his eyes because of this and you feel him smiling.
This feels so good.
His tongue doesn’t delve in deep at first but then you suddenly feel his tongue fucking your hole and it sounds so wet.“Riki, ang sarap.” You start moaning uncontrollably because of how good it feels with the way Riki fucks you up using his tongue. You sometimes feel the vibrations from him because of his groans and it drives you crazy dahil nakakadagdag yung vibration sa sarap especially when Riki does it around your clit. “Dapat matagal mo na ‘tong sinuggest. You’re so good at this. Sobrang sarap.” Riki hums at first because of this. Then, he chuckles, and then laughs, deep and velvet against your folds, the vibrations that buzzed far down your nerves. Because of this his conviction to make you feel good is somehow renewed – he tightens his grip on your waist while still clasping your hands as his tongue strikes up a long line, a mixture of your slick with his saliva from your asshole to the other hole and back again. He presses his tongue inside of you, teasing you with too much stimulation as he swallows your liquid. The pace he keeps up is feverish. Then you feel that you’re already moving on your own without his guidance – you’re the only one who’s moving and riding his pretty face. His tongue, on your own to reach your own pleasure. “Fuck, Riki. Ang sarap. Please.” The orgasm reaches you and you shudder with a moan. Sa sobrang sarap hindi mo alam gagawin mo sa katawan mo and you stop grinding because of too much pleasure but you feel him hold you again tightly to continue lapping at your hole to drink your juices. You feel him moan as he laps at your release, desperately drinking you up. You’re going crazy again with the overstimulation.“Fuck…. Riki.” You feel him slow down until he suddenly stops. Out of breath, panting heavily you stare and look down at him already smiling as he licks his lips to taste your juices around his lips. Kahit parang pagod na pagod ka na you lift your leg to get off his face. He looks so pretty like this, his hair messy because of your doing and his face dripping wet because of you. “Ang sarap mo.” You hear him say and fuck parang nalilibugan ka na naman ulit dahil don. “You wanna taste yourself?” He says laughing and both of you are panting heavily. Without answering him you kiss him but this time as compared to earlier it’s soft and gentle. Wala ng gigil katulad ng kanina. You lick into his mouth to taste yourself moaning a little bit. “That was so good, Riki” “You liked it?” “Yes.” You say as you kiss him again. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Y/N.” But you pull back to stare at him as you caress his body. “Your turn. Ako naman magbibigay ng gift ko sa’yo.” You say with a knowing smile. Then you hear him laugh. This will be a long night.