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Maybe it would be easy—like holding his hand or having his arms around me. Maybe it would feel nice. Maybe it wouldn’t feel like betrayal. Besides, who was I betraying, anyway? Just myself.
Keeping his eyes on mine, Jacob began to bend his face toward me. And I was still absolutely undecided.
The shrill ring of the phone made us both jump, but it did not break his focus. He took his hand from under my chin and reached over me to grab the receiver, but still held my face securely with his hand against my cheek. His dark eyes did not free mine. I was too muddled to react, even to take advantage of the distraction.
“Swan residence,” Jacob said.
***
"He is at a funeral," Jacob said.I hear a murmur on the other side."No. It was Harry Clearwater.""Do you want to talk to her?" Jacob said with his jaw clenched.As Jacob listened to the voice on the other end of the phone, he rolled his eyes, looking at me with sadness in his eyes.
"I will never understand you, but we agree on one thing. I hope you never see her again, either."Jacob slammed the phone back into the receiver, "Who was that?" I asked.
I already knew who it was, and my heart was breaking all over again. Jacob looked like he didn't want to tell me. He looked at me with anger in his eyes, but I could tell it wasn't directed toward me. I tried to keep my composure for both of our sakes."He didn't want to talk to me?" I questioned."He is stupid, Bella. Don't worry about him."
"So nothing has changed with him. He still doesn't want anything to do with me?"Right when Jacob was about to answer, Alice walked in with a calmer look on her face. She must have seen Edward's future change. I knew at that moment that he was never coming back. It was time for me to stop holding onto what we had. I looked to Alice, wanting to say so much but not knowing how to formulate an actual thought. "I know," she said to me like she was the family's mind reader."This won't be goodbye forever. I love you as my own sister. He just never got over his soul being tarnished. He doesn't want that for you, " she said."It was never his choice. It was mine. He knew I could have had any of you turn me after the ballet studio." I whispered."He knows that you wouldn't have wanted anyone but him; the rest of us could see that, too, " she said, a tear rolling down her cheek."I love you," I said, pulling her into a hug."I love you too, but please be careful." She said while looking at Jacob.
"I will. It's time for me to move on. I need to do it for myself. I can't keep living the way I have been living these past few months," I confidently said.With that, Alice left my house, and all of my thoughts about vampires left with her. I will miss the life I thought I would have, but maybe there are bigger and better things in front of me. As I look at Jacob, I know my feelings for him have grown; we almost kissed not even ten minutes ago. A part of me thought I was letting him in to help me forget about Edward, but maybe I was letting him into my heart this whole time. It will take time to let Edward go completely, but having Jacob fill that hole in my heart could help me heal faster.
After Alice left, it was just Jacob and me in the house again. Charlie wouldn't be home for a while, so I felt like now was the best time to talk.
"Jacob--,""Bella--," we both said at the same time."You go first," I said.
"Bella, I don't want to push you at all. I know your heart is as fragile as glass. No matter what, in any way, I am here for you." Jacob said."Thanks, Jacob. I love you, but I don't want to jump into anything. It's not fair to you, but I also know that I can't live without you."Then Jacob hugged me. In that one hug from Jacob, I felt like my world flipped upside down, like I've never known how to stand on my own two feet without him. I don't know if it was from all the emotions, but I started to tear up. He has been here for me through so much. He was the light in the darkness of these past few months. I owe him so much."Jacob, I—" he cut me off.
"I know, Bella. You don't have to say anything."Before I could continue with our conversation, Charlie walked in, and Jacob jumped away from me like I was a poisonous snake. I chuckled a little to myself as Charlie eyed us knowingly. I walked Jacob to the door and gave him another hug. It wasn't as intense as the hug we shared earlier, but it just felt right—like maybe this is where I was supposed to be my whole life.I went to hug Charlie and ask if he was alright; he was his normal, non-talkative self, which is understandable. I went upstairs to my room and felt the weight of the night finally hit me. So much has happened in the past twelve hours. I went cliff diving and almost drowned, Alice showed up, Jacob and I almost kissed, Edward called, and then that life-changing hug happened. I need to sit and let it all sink in. I eventually fall asleep clutching the dream catcher that Jacob made for me.-A Few Days Later-Going to school and seeing the gang felt normal again; I also didn't look for the Cullens anymore. We finally had a swing of things again; Mike and Jessica were dating again, Angela and Eric had been going strong, and then there was me. They would all downplay the PDA when I was around, and they all knew I was healing and trying to be a better friend after these past few months. I was so happy for all of them. I knew what it was like to be in love, and I wanted all of them to have it and never lose it.
It was a sunny day in Forks, which didn't happen very often, so we were having lunch outside. I was in a deep conversation with Jessica and Angela when a big pair of strong arms hugged me. There was that feeling again, something more than butterflies."Jacob! What are you doing here?" I asked."Just wanted to check in and see you on your lunch period." He said."AWWWWW," all my friends cooed."Shut it, guys." I looked back at them and rolled my eyes playfully."Yeah, don't make fun of my girl," Jacob said playfully.I'm not sure I'm ready to be called anyone's girl. I would be lying if I said my stomach didn't flip again when he said it. Jacob looked down at me. "Can I speak to you in private real fast?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said cautiously. I looked at my friends and gave them a playful smirk as I walked away to speak with Jacob."Sorry to just show up here out of the blue, but I wanted to see if you wanted to come by and witness a tribe meeting, " he said."Does everyone want me to come? I know I'm problematic to some members," I sighed."First off, you don't need to worry about anyone else when you're there with me, and secondly, yes, everyone would be happy to have you there, especially Emily; she keeps asking about you."
"Then I'll be there!" I said happily.Jacob left, and I walked back to my friends. When I got back to the table, I could see the questions forming in their brains.
"He is hot!" Jessica said. Then she looked stunned that she said it like she didn't mean for that to slip out.Mike choked on his sandwich, and Jessica sprang into action to fix her mistake. "Not as hot as you hunny."Angela pulled me over to the side, "What's going on there?" She asked."We are just hanging out, but I feel good about him," I said.She sighed in a way that said she was in love with the idea of us being together. "I don't know if it's too fast, but I know I don't want to be sulking any longer. I wasted so much time hoping for someone to return to me. Thinking he would pop up if I were dangerous enough. That is not the kind of life I want to live. I loved Edward so much, but maybe he couldn't reciprocate the love. Maybe I should open myself up to something new." I told her."If it feels right, then go for it! I know he means a lot to you, but maybe this is the world's way of telling you that it's YOUR turn to be happy, " she said.Then, I started to think about how Jacob made me feel. I was already beginning to feel it before the funeral fiasco. I have been having nightmares and crying for months. Jacob is the only one who has been able to pull me out of that.
***Later that night, Jacob picked me up and took me to the Res. We walked up to them, telling the story of their ancestors. I love hearing the elders tell stories; I couldn't continue to follow Jacob because I wanted to listen more closely to their stories. They do so well at making history come to life; it was like I was actually there. We waited for the story to end before Jacob had me follow him to his pack. I saw Emily, Sam's wife, sitting on a log and joined her."He is really happy you are here spending time with him." She said."I am so happy he invited me; I love hearing these stories. There is something so… magical about them." I said ironically.Emily chuckled a bit at my sarcasm. "You know what I mean? I am happy you all have each other, even if it is only friendly." She continued with a wink."Don't tell anyone else, but I'm happy he's in my life. We don't need him getting a big head or anything, though. And I would hate for Paul to get wind of me being all mushy on Jacob; he would never let him have a day of peace again." I laughed.We had a nice, quiet lull looking at the fire, and then I realized that Jacob wasn't anywhere to be found. "Where is Jacob?" I asked Emily."He went to talk to Sam in private. Some pack stuff that has to be all secretive, " she said, rolling her eyes.
- Jacob's POV -It happened, and we finally imprinted. I don't know what changed, but I felt it and knew she felt it too. That hug right after the phone call and Alice leaving locked it all into place. The world felt like it was spinning too fast and none simultaneously. I could hear the colors around me. Everything became heightened. I could feel her heartbeat in my own chest. I didn't want to bring it up to her, though. I don't know if it would scare her away, and she knows what imprinting is; that could scare anyone away. I don't even know if she will see us together in the future. I will do anything she wants; she is my forever, and if that means only being her friend forever, then so be it.I brought Bella here so I could talk to Sam and see if he could pick up on anything. I am 100% sure we imprinted, but my mind could also be playing tricks on me."I'm sure I felt it; I think she felt it, too. I don't want to be the one to tell her, though. I know that can be scary. I want her to be able to tell me her feelings, not me forcing them on her," I said to Sam."If you are sure why, are you asking me? You have heard what imprints are like; you will definitely know when it happens," he told me."Because I'm not sure if this is actually happening. I have been wanting it for months, so why all of a sudden did it finally click? We went through so much in such little time that I don't know if we are for sure imprinted. I wanted to bring her here and see if you could tell," I rambled."Well, a pack knows when someone has imprinted. That person is off limits romantically and to be kept safe at all costs. So I should be able to tell if you have imprinted or not." He said.Emily walked up at that exact moment with Bella. I looked over to Sam to see if he had any reaction. My heart was beating so fast it was like the drums the elders would play at the beginning of each meeting.
*You're imprinted* Sam said through our pack telepathy.
I was seeing stars. I never thought this would happen to me. I looked at Bella with such admiration in my eyes. I hope she knows she is stuck with me for life. Even if I am only her friend forever, that is okay with me.
-Bella's POV-Jacob was acting all weird after the bonfire. It was starting to worry me. I hoped Sam was okay with me being there. I know I didn't get off to a great start with his pack, but they have been there for me for a lot of the little things as well. I would hate it if they all actually hated having me around."What's wrong, Jacob? Did Sam say something to you?" I finally asked him.It took him a moment to snap out of his haze. "Sorry, what?""Jacob, just talk to me; tell me what's on your mind," I said.
All of a sudden, he pulled over the truck. I was beginning to freak out. I felt like Edward was leaving me all over again. He was about to drop me off on the side of the road and leave me just the same way. It had to be something Sam said. He was fine before we got to the meeting. He must have forbidden him from being around me anymore."Jacob, you can't leave me like he did. I don't know if I will survive it again," I cried.That snapped him right out of his silent daze. "What are you talking about Bella?" He asked.
"If Sam told you to leave me, and this is how you do it, I don't think I'll live through it. The only reason I finally healed from Edward is because of you. I don't think I will be able to heal this time if you leave me, too." I rambled, begging him to stay with me.He put his arms on my shoulders, and it stopped my panic.
"Bella, I have to tell you something, but I need you not to freak out." He pleaded"Jacob, I already told you I can't do it again," I begged.All at once, it was like my world exploded. It was like I had never actually been alive until this moment. As Jacob pressed his lips to mine and connected with me for the first time, I felt my world align properly. He deepened the kiss, and I never wanted this moment to end. Then something else happened. I saw our future fold out before me. I saw Jacob getting down on one knee, asking me to marry him; I saw myself walking down the aisle to him with Charlie by my side. Then I saw Emily and me hanging out at the house, waiting for the wolves to come back from their run. It ended with me pregnant with our second child and Jacob holding our first. That was a perfect mixture of us wrapped into a perfect bundle of joy.
Our explosive kiss ended, Jacob continued to hold me, and we were both breathing heavily. "Bella, are you okay?" He asked
He seemed nervous like he thought he may have done the wrong thing by kissing me. But that was far from the truth. I was stunned. I don't know how I will recover from that or if anything I saw was real. Did he have the same reaction that I had? I had so many things I wanted to ask him, but he interrupted me before I could speak."I'm sorry, Bella. I should have never assumed you wanted me to kiss you. I just didn't know how to get you to stop panicking, and then I panicked and just kissed you. I know I said I would wait, so I should have never kissed you without asking you first." He rambled."Jacob, it's fine!" I said breathlessly.Then it clicked in my mind. I can't believe I didn't put it together while the kiss was happening.
"Did we just imprint?" I asked."Yes, we're imprinted." He said as he was finally able to breathe normally again.