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It’s the pain that wakes him up. An excruciating pain in his head. He is probably sore all over, but this headache overshadows everything else. He can’t move. Or at least he thinks he can’t? He isn’t sure. He attempts to open his eyes, but his muscles won’t listen to him. He tries to focus, but something distracts him. Not just the pain… His thoughts are slowed and all his senses are dulled. Although his labyrinth is not working properly, he presumes he is lying on the ground. He is certain of that because he can feel even pressure under his entire left side. Why is he lying on the ground? He can’t remember. The anxiety starts to rise in him. Adrenaline begins to flow through his veins and this finally makes him push through and open his eyes. At first he doesn’t even realize it, because all he can see is nothing. No shadowy outline of his surroundings, nor any light source in the distance. Nothing. Just pitch black darkness. He realizes that he must have been locked up in some dark place.Kakashi takes a deep breath and begins to analyze the situation. He begins by remembering what he had been doing before he found himself here. Wherever ‘here’ is…He recalls that Naruto and Sasuke came by the village. Obito took Naruto out for ramen and Kakashi used his absence to “take a little break” in his duties. He snuck out of the hokage tower, slipped away from his Anbu guards and took a little stroll. On the village outskirts he encountered an old civilian flower pedlar. She collected wildflowers to sell them in Konoha. He decided to help her carry all the baskets to the market (he can blame Obito for rubbing off on him). He remembers the scent of the flowers, how heavy it seemed. How suddenly he felt weak, his vision got blurry and how all the bouquets fell from his hands to the ground. He remembers the movement, six or seven people quickly surrounding him. Armed and wearing gas masks. Then a dull pain in the back of his head…Wonderful. He got himself caught. Like a novice. Oh, how the mighty have fallen…If he survives, Obito is gonna kill him. And then, they will edo tensei him so Sakura could kill him a second time. Only Naruto will be happy that the hokage seat is empty at last… He honestly doesn't expect anything from Sasuke… Maybe at least Sai and Tenzō will shed a tear over his sad fate. He tries to move but can't. He is probably bound. He attempts to concentrate his chakra. Not possible. Either seals or one of the side effects of the drug he has been dosed with. Anyway, it would be a good idea to investigate the perpetrators and the gas that was used to drug him. It knocked him out quite fast even though his body had been trained to resist most toxins. Whoever produced this gas must be dangerous. But first things first, he ought to escape. In the dark he can’t rely on his eyesight, but he has his other senses. His nose tells him that he is somewhere underground because of a damp, earthy smell that surrounds him. He closes his eyes, presses his ear flat to the ground and listens. He can hear soft screeching of some bugs but no human footsteps in close vicinity. He tests his constraints. His legs are tied up at the ankles and above the knees, and his arms are strapped on either side of his torso. Additionally, there is some kind of spreader bar between his hands, probably to prevent him from making any seals. Smart. His kidnappers took all the precautions. Kakashi sighs. Oh well. Nothing he can do right away. It would be best to wait until whatever they drugged him with wears off and attack when someone appears in his cell. For now, he should concentrate on conserving his energy for that attempt. He closes his eyes again and starts meditating. Which means he starts to reproduce the plot of all Icha Icha novels in his head. In chronological order. Kakashi isn’t sure if it's the drugs or just reliving the marvelous love saga that makes him sentimental. Suddenly he longs for Obito and his kids. They probably worry about him…It’s been a while since he got himself in any dangerous situation. A cushy job full of paperwork made him weak. Is he the first hokage in the records who got himself kidnapped? Probably, but that only shows he isn’t made for this job. Maybe they will finally replace him. Well, if he dies here they will have to. He feels a strange pang in his heart. Him dying here would make Obito and his kids sad. He doesn’t want to make them sad. He isn’t sure how long he has been lying on the ground, alone with his thoughts, when something starts happening. He hears some vague sounds in the distance. At first, he can’t make anything of them. But slowly they are getting closer. Clang of metal. Screams. Footsteps. Very rapid steps… Suddenly he sees the light. A dim line at his eye level. The gap under the door of his cell?Footsteps are getting closer. Then a familiar voice.“He’s here!”There is an abrupt cracking sound and the light illuminates his face, blinding him. He shuts his eyes tightly but he hears someone approaching him. “Boss!”“Kakashi!”Somebody is sniffing him and he feels a gentle touch of a hand on his cheek. He slowly opens his eyes trying to get used to the light. A shadowy figure looms over him. The outlines slowly become clearer and he is able to recognize the person leaning over him.“Obitoooo,” he slurs when he sees his husband’s face. Is it really him? How did he get here? How did he know where to look for him?“Kakashi, are you hurt?”He wants to answer, he really does. However, all he can say right now is another pitiful wail. “Obitoooo~”“They dosed him with something,” notes another familiar voice. Kakashi shifts his gaze to its source and sees a face of a pug. “Pakuuun~,” he mumbles. Ah yes! He made Obito sign the summoning contract after the wedding. That's how they found him! Pakkun tracked him! “Boss’s high as a kite.”“Yeah. I noticed.” Obito’s expression changes. From worry to something else. A familiar grimace of discontent appears on his face.“Report to the rest of the team that we got him,” he instructs the dog. “I will take him to Konoha” “Don’t order me around, kid. Our truce lasted until we found the boss.”“Shut up and do what you are told, mutt.”Kakashi doesn’t like it. His husband and his ninken shouldn't argue. “Obito~, Pakku~n, don’t fight~,” he whines. They stop their bickering to stare at him. Both seem taken aback by his comment. Then they exchange bored looks. “Completely wasted.”“Yup.”“Take him to Konoha. I’m gonna let the others know.”“Will do.”Pakkun runs away and Obito sits Kakashi up on the floor without a word. Kakashi is uncertain what cuts through his bindings, mokuton or kunai, but his limbs are instantly free. His husband is quietly massaging his wrist to restore proper blood circulation there. Then he examines Kakashi’s body in silence, stubbornly refusing to look at his face. Kakashi knows what silent treatment means.“Obito, are you mad at me?” He can’t stop the pout after he asks that.His husband finally meets his gaze. “Mad? No... I’m fucking furious.” Kakashi cowers at his harsh words. “What the hell were you thinking? Running away and ditching your guard? Why do you think you have the guard in the first place?” Before Kakashi has a chance to answer, Obito continues his tirade. “Do I really have to watch you like a hawk just to get you to do your job? I leave you alone for a moment and you get yourself kidnapped!” Kakashi tries to bravely endure his husband's scolding gaze, but he can't stop the embarrassment from rising on his cheeks. He lowers his head in shame. Obito clicks his tongue with a disapproving “tsk” and proceeds to pick Kakashi up unceremoniously. He usually likes it when his husband manhandles him but not necessary now. His muscles are all sore after an unknown amount of time he spent lying tied up. He lets out a painful moan and his legs give way under him. The sound brings Obito to his senses. He visibly calms down. He stops Kakashi’s fall and gently maneuvers his body so he can carry him up in his arms. Kakashi takes advantage of this situation to hide his face in Obito's neck. He hears his husband's deep sigh. “The only silver lining of this situation is that you’re gonna be so embarrassed when you sober up.” He chuckles at that thought. Kakashi feels like sulking. “You’re mean, Obito,” he whines. He is vaguely aware he sounds like a child but he doesn’t care.Obito snorts. “You deserve it for causing us all worry.” In contrast to his bitter words he presses a sweet kiss to Kakashi’s temple as he uses kamui to transport them to Konoha. As Obito predicted, Kakashi feels very stupid once he comes down from the high. He wants to leave the hospital as soon as possible and hide in hokage’s residence but Sakura refuses to discharge him until she is sure all the toxins are out of his body and he is completely healthy. So Kakashi has to endure. First, Naruto who makes fun of him for getting ambushed and kidnapped and how he got “old” (according to both Obito and the rest of his kids, Naruto was very worried when he first learnt about his abduction). Then the elders, who scold him no worse as they did when he decided to marry Obito behind their backs. There are also get-well-soon cards from other kages, full of mockery, skilfully hidden between polite phrases. At this point, Kakashi gives up. He decides he does not care anymore. He obediently lies in bed waiting to be discharged. At least the hospital means he can’t perform his hokage duties and has time just for himself. He spends it by reading his favorite book series everyday and sometimes watching Obito struggle to cut bunny-shaped apple slices to feed him later. And that’s enough for him.Unfortunately his forced vacation ends quickly and Kakashi has to get back to work. In his absence, the pile of papers waiting to be signed on his desk only increased. If only there were some interesting documents… Sadly, apart from the report of his kidnapping (unidentified gas of unknown origin was used to sedate him; the mysterious, rapid decay of the bodies of fallen perpetrators etc.), there is nothing exciting. Just the same old boring paperwork... If not for the fact that his husband is basically his second shadow, he would certainly try to get away again... After the whole kidnapping thing, Obito is very overprotective. He teleports him in and out of office and doesn't leave his side for a moment. Kakashi is aware that right now his husband keeps him on a very short leash…So he is very surprised at what unleashes at the end of his first week back in office. He is signing the papers, as he has everyday since leaving the hospital. His old ball and chain keeps him at his desk and does not let him slack for even a moment. He presses the seal to the last documents for the day and declares, “That’s all for this week.” Although he didn't get rid of the entirety of the pile of paperwork, he managed to reduce it significantly. He turns back. “I’ll deal with the rest after the weekend.” Obito watches him silently, leaning on the window sill behind the Hokage's chair with arms crossed on his chest. Usually, his husband would either tell him to do some more paperwork or take him straight home by now. Today he does neither. Kakashi raises one eyebrow in question. Obito continues to stare at him. Finally, as hokage is about to turn around, he blurts out, “Do you want to quit?”Kakashi doesn’t understand. “Excuse me?”“Do you want to quit being hokage?” his husband clarifies. Kakashi blinks a couple times. “Obito, I wanted to quit before I even started,” he says which gets him an eye roll from his partner.“I’m serious, Kakashi.”“And you think I’m not?” he asks. “It was your idea to make me hokage, not mine.”Obito frowns. “You were the best candidate,” he rebuts. Kakashi winces. “Maa… Debatable.” He turns his chair completely to face his husband. “Why are you asking about it right now? Isn't it a little too late for that?” Obito watches him silently for a moment, then sighs. “I’ve been thinking about it since your kidnapping. You’ve given so much of yourself to the village. You have sacrificed so much… Maybe it’s time for you… to rest?” Obito sounds very uncertain at the end, like he didn’t intend it to be a question when he started speaking. Kakashi finds it very amusing if not endearing. He beams as he asks, “Maa... dear husband, are you telling me I’ve gotten too old?”Obito chuckles. “We both have, my love.” After a second, he becomes somber. “But honestly, Kakashi. You’ve not only rebuilt the village after the war but developed it far more than any other leader; you’ve strengthened Konoha’s alliances and now we all live in times of unprecedented peace… You must be the most accomplished hokage in history…” Kakashi can feel his face heat up. Through the years he has gotten better at accepting compliments, but genuine praise from Obito still has a mysterious effect on him. “Even if you stop now, it would be hard for anyone to top you.”“I’m not sure about that: you can do it anytime.” Obito catches the innuendo. Kakashi feels satisfaction, now that it’s his husband’s turn to blush in embarrassment. Sweet revenge.Obito clears his throat. “What I’m trying to say… You can stop if you want. No one will hold it against you.” He smirks. “In a way, I was the one who put you in this chair. Maybe it’s time for me to tell you that you've done enough.”Kakashi considers this. It would be a lie to say that it isn't a tempting prospect. However, his common sense soon kicks in. The next is suspiciousness.“And you are not saying this just because of my abduction?” he questions warily.Obito grimaces. “I won’t lie to you, it's a factor.” “What about my successor?”“Naruto is still in the village. You can ask him tomorrow.”“You think he will agree? He will have to leave Sasuke.”“Don’t say it like they're gonna break up,” Obito scolds him.“Sasuke won’t stay in the village, you know that,” he argues. “I know, but I doubt anyone will ask him to.”“And you think Naruto will be okay with this?” Obito shrugs. “If he loves him, he will. If they are meant to be, long distance relationships won’t change that. As they say: ‘Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it inflames the great.’” Kakashi is unimpressed. “Where did you get that from?”“Some of us like to read real literature .” Kakashi rolls his eyes. Obito can be such a snob when it comes to books.... Before he has a chance to defend the honor of his favorite series, his husband asks, “So, what do you say? Retirement?” He holds out his open hand to him.“Would be nice.” Kakashi sighs dreamily as he accepts it. He lets himself be pulled up into a hug. “But what would we even do?” he asks as he wraps his arms around Obito's neck. “I’m not used to doing nothing.”“Whatever we want, baby. We could leave the village for example.” “Leave?”“Not forever. I know you wouldn’t want to leave Gai alone. But a little vacation in Steam Country? Or some vagabonding? We could dye our hair, change our names and, just to be sure, go somewhere nobody knows us. The world is our oyster.” Kakashi considers these options. “You are tempting me…”“I can tempt you more if you want.” Obito smiles mischievously.“Yes, please,” he agrees. “And tomorrow we will talk to Naruto.”“Treating him to some ramen might be a good idea.”“That’s true.”“Take your wallet.” Kakashi gives him an indignant look and Obito shrugs. “Just sayin’.”“Sometimes you could pay,” he suggests and his husband laughs. “I’m sorry but you are the breadwinner in this relationship. I’m just your kept man.”Kakashi smirks as he pulls his mask down. “Is that so? Then maybe you should start earning your living.”“As you wish, lord sixth…”Obito holds him close and swirls them away as they kiss.
