Work Text
Song: "Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now)" by Phil Collins
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How can I just let you walk away?
Just let you leave without a trace?
When I stand here taking every breath with you
You're the only one who really knew me at all
✰✰✰
"Effie, don't be a stranger."
The words rang in her head as the feeling of Haymitch's lips on hers lingered. She stared at him as he trudged through the snow with Katniss. Going home, to District 12. Leaving her alone in the Capitol.Leaving her!Effie couldn't stop the onslaught of tears that she quickly blinked away before it ruined her makeup. She'd done it ever so lighter, ever since Haymitch had told her he liked her better without makeup back in District 13. In return, she'd told him she liked him better sober. Effie wondered if he would stay sober once he returned to District 12. Probably not. She still couldn't believe, after all these years they'd spent together, he'd just upped and left her. After all these years! And she'd let him leave. She hadn't even tried to stop him. She'd just accepted it, like the coward she was. Haymitch hadn't offered for her to go with them and she hadn't asked. And it would have probably been fine.But then Haymitch kissed her! On the lips!✰✰✰
How can you just walk away from me?
When all I can do is watch you leave?
'Cause we've shared the laughter and the pain
And even shared the tears
You're the only one who really knew me at all
✰✰✰They'd engaged in light flirtation over the years, especially in District 13. But there was never anything serious. In that quick, short moment where their lips were together, it was like everything had changed, but at the same time, it was like Effie had dug up an emotion she had attempted to bury years ago but always found a way to sprout new roots. And oh, Effie did not want to be feeling that way in that particular moment. But her heart said otherwise."I don't want you to leave," she tried to tell him with her lips during that short, sweet kiss. But Haymitch didn't seem to understand. He didn't seem to understand that he was her only friend in the world. All her fake Capitol friends were either dead or had cut off all contact with her after learning that she had somehow been spared when all the other escorts had been killed. Essentially, everyone in the Capitol hated her. She had nobody except Haymitch. She supposed she also had the children, but she'd only known them for a little while. She'd known Haymitch for years and years. They'd been through so many Games together. They'd accidentally gotten drunk at parties (well, Haymitch probably meant to so it wasn't an accident) and laughed at ridiculous things together. He'd comforted her when they lost their tributes year after year. Effie had tried to get used to it, but she never did. Every single year before the 74th, their tributes had been brutally slaughtered at the Cornucopia, and it got more and more painful each year. She would keep up her prim and proper facade until she reached the privacy of her room in the Penthouse where she curled up into a ball and cried.One year, Haymitch found her crying alone in the darkness. "Hey," he said, strangely sober. "What's up?""I'm a failure," Effie sobbed. "Year after year after year. They all die. What am I doing wrong?""It's not your fault," Haymitch said. "You're probably the greatest escort District 12's ever had, y'know.""Really?" Effie blinked."Well, you're kind of annoying sometimes," Haymitch confessed. "But you were way better than the previous one. What a bitch she was. Honestly.""Language," Effie said automatically. "But why do we lose every single year?""District 12's just an unpopular district, sweetheart. You're not a failure. You just got stuck with a shitty district.""But if I'm the greatest escort, like you said, why haven't I been promoted to a district that isn't...shitty?" Effie said. She rarely swore.Haymitch failed to tell her he had requested for her not to be promoted because he didn't want her to leave him. She was the only person who understood him, really. In the past few years they'd been working together, Haymitch hated to admit it, but he'd begun to enjoy her presence during Games season. It was nice not being alone and depressed all the time. Although Effie did share some of the same Capitol characteristics his previous escort had, she was much nicer and friendlier, and tolerated his drinking to a degree, sometimes even getting drunk with him after a particularly bad year. He didn't want her to leave.✰✰✰
So take a look at me now
Oh, there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face
Take a look at me now
Well, there's just an empty space
And you coming back to me is against the odds
And that's what I've got to face
✰✰✰Empty.That's all Effie felt.After so many years of having someone beside her, being this alone in the world was draining her. She didn't know if she would ever see Haymitch again. She supposed she could visit them in District 12, but would she be welcomed? Surely the citizens of 12 would resent her after sending their children to their deaths for so many years. Katniss had never really liked her that much, she assumed. The old Peeta was friendly enough, but would the new Peeta remember that? But would Haymitch would open his house to her? She betted that he would get straight back to drinking after being denied of it for so long. If she were to visit, she would be greeted with a lonely, depressed alcoholic, probably.Effie wondered if Haymitch would ever visit her. Come back to her. The odds were very much against her. She doubted he would ever return to the Capitol, where all the memories of the Hunger Games were. Never in a million years would that man ever take the train back to see her, and she had to face that hard truth. She was only Effie Trinket, of course. Nobody cared about her that much, to travel across the country. Even if they kissed her on the lips and told her not to be a stranger.What did Haymitch mean by that, exactly? Did he want her to visit him? Call him? Send a letter? Either way, he still wanted to stay in contact with her, Effie guessed. But would he stay true to that once he got his hands back in the alcohol? Effie didn't know. She didn't know a lot of things these days.✰✰✰
I wish that I could make you turn around
Turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you
So many reasons why
You're the only one who really knew me at all
✰✰✰More and more tears fell as she watched him and Katniss grow smaller and smaller in the distance. She wanted to run after him. She wanted to call out. She wanted him to turn around and see how upset she was at him leaving and realise that he shouldn't leave her alone in the Capitol. She had so many things she had wanted to tell him, and she'd had all the time in the world in District 13. But she hadn't said anything. She was too scared.She wanted to tell him that she didn't want him to leave. What if he had asked why? Effie didn't know how to put it into words, really. It was all blubber.
"I don't want you to leave."
"Why?"
"Because you're my only friend in the world. Because I don't want to be alone in the Capitol. Because everyone else hates me. Because I've had a crush on you since I was thirteen years old and tried to bury it for so many years but then you kissed me on the lips and it all resurfaced and then I realised that I am completely head over heels in love with you."
Scratch the last part! Imagine if she'd just straight-out told Haymitch that she was in love with him after one kiss that could've been platonic or romantic! But then again, she really didn't have any other reasons. After all the years they'd spent together, laughed together, cried together, basically co-parented two teenagers together, she couldn't lie to herself anymore. She was in love with Haymitch Abernathy.Effie was sure Haymitch wouldn't feel the same way. Haymitch didn't do love. Love was what caused his girlfriend, Lenore Dove, to be killed two weeks after his Games. Haymitch had recounted the tragic story to her while absolutely wasted while Effie listened in horror.Yet, he had still kissed her. Twice, to be exact. Once on the cheek, which Effie thought was of sheer politeness, which she silently applauded. Haymitch had finally learned manners.She wasn't expecting the second one on her lips.It wasn't fair at all, really. She had enjoyed the kiss, of course, the feeling of his lips still lingered on hers. But oh, if only he hadn't kissed her! Now she was a blubbery mess as Haymitch got farther and farther away, and then disappeared.She quickly wiped away the tears as she made her way back to her room in the mansion. Alone. Completely and utterly alone.Her only friend in the world had left her. The only person who understood and knew the woman beneath the glamour and the makeup and the facade. Nobody in the Capitol knew how she acted with Haymitch. She would never act that way around anyone else but him. With him, she felt safe. There was no awkwardness or manners or politeness. With him, she could be free.✰✰✰
So take a look at me now
Well, there's just an empty space
And there's nothing left here to remind me
Just a memory of your face
Take a look at me now
'Cause there's just an empty space
But to wait for you is all I can do
And that's what I've got to face
✰✰✰She stared in the mirror at her bare face. No makeup. No wig. Nothing. Just her.Her strawberry-blonde hair fell loosely around her shoulders. She had been terrified of showing her hair in 13 and hidden in it under a headwrap. Haymitch had never seen her real hair. She had been embarrassed for him to see her with a bare face in 13 and was scared he'd find her ugly. However, her worries had backfired and Haymitch had told her he liked her better without makeup. So without makeup she was.Even though Haymitch wasn't here, she would not wear makeup because she knew he liked her better without it, and it was the only thing she could have that would be a constant reminder of him. She didn't even have a picture of him. The Victory Tour poster of him at 16 she had hidden under her bed in her childhood home didn't count. Besides, her home was probably destroyed in the war.It had been a month now since Haymitch had left her. She had patiently waited for him to call her, because waiting was all she could do. But he never did. Not once. When she tried dialling him, nobody answered. Maybe he'd ripped the phone out of the wall again, after she'd had it fixed.She decided to write a letter instead.
Dear Haymitch,
I hope all is well in District 12. I heard that the construction is going well. I also hope the children are settling in together nicely. Now, I have tried calling you but you never answer. Is your telephone damaged again? Let me know and I will have it fixed. I do miss your voice. I do wish to contact you soon.
Haymitch, I do hope you aren't heavily indulging yourself in liquor again. You know how I am about that. It's best for you to try and stay sober, and it's best for the children as well. I always liked you better sober, anyway.
I think I might come and visit soon. Perhaps for a just short while, so I'm not a stranger, liked you asked me not to be. Right before you kissed me on the lips. I did enjoy that kiss, Haymitch. It made me realise my true feelings for you and I hope you feel the same way because I'm in love with you and I can't live without you and I'm currently depressed living alone in the Capitol because everyone hates me and I have no friends and I want to come and live with you in District 12 in your house and kiss you again. Why did you kiss me, anyway? It wasn't like I made the first move. It was all you, Haymitch. Maybe you do feel the same way. Maybe it was just a polite goodbye kiss. Platonic. I really hope not. Because I love you, Haymitch. I need to be with you right now, in District 12.
Effie scrunched up the paper into a ball but then realised anyone could unscrunch it and read her love letter to Haymitch even though she'd tried her best to scribble it out. She found a lighter and held it over the sink, setting fire to the paper and watching it burn to ashes.Writing that stupid letter had made Effie realise something. She couldn't wait anymore. She just had to be with Haymitch. She had to see him. She had to get out of this hellhole of a city where everyone hated her and wished her dead. She had to go to District 12.✰✰✰
Take a good look at me now
'Cause I'll still be standing here
And you coming back to me is against all odds
It's the chance I've got to take
✰✰✰"I'm leaving," Effie told Plutarch Heavensbee as she handed in her form of resignation from her position as his assistant.Plutarch glanced up at her. "Where are you gonna go?"Effie swallowed. "I'm going to District 12."Plutarch chuckled. "Effie Trinket living in District 12? Full-time? Where are you even gonna stay?""I'm hoping the children might take me in. Or Haymitch," she said.Plutarch laughed again. "Well, good luck, Miss Trinket," he said, waving her off as she began to walk away. "Let me know when the wedding is.""What?" Effie half-choked, whirling around. But Plutarch was already walking away. She wanted to run after him and ask what he meant by that comment but decided against it. The train awaited her.The trip was long. It felt longer than it did during Games season. Throughout the trip, Effie got more and more nervous. What if Haymitch turned her away? What if the children didn't want her near them? She'd reaped them, after all. If Haymitch was back on the alcohol, he'd probably be wasted and passed out in a pool of his own vomit, as Effie had found him multiple times years before. Worse, if he was sober, and just didn't want to see her.But even with all these odds against her, she had to take the chance. She had to see him.Effie's stomach was full of butterflies, more butterflies than there were on her dress the day she reaped Haymitch for the Third Quarter Quell. What a horrible day that had been. And it was a selfish, awful thought, but she had been secretly glad Peeta had volunteered in Haymitch's place.As she walked through the gates of Victor's Village after avoiding District 12 citizens who probably didn't even recognise her with no makeup and her natural hair flowing past her shoulders, there wasn't a person in sight. Haymitch's house was right at the end. Effie wondered if he'd chosen that house to make everyone have to walk further. As she approached his door, she suddenly got very nervous. She hadn't told him she was coming today. He wasn't expecting her. If Effie was right and the odds were against her and Haymitch did react badly to her surprise visit, he had every right to, she supposed.Her arm was shaking with nerves as she slowly raised it and knocked on the door three times. Please don't be drunk, Effie thought.She was surprised when she heard heavy footsteps inside the house approaching the door after a few moments.Then it swung open, and there he was.✰✰✰
Take a look at me now
✰✰✰"Effie," a very sober Haymitch said. "Hello, Haymitch," Effie said in a small voice. "You're sober.""You said you liked me better sober," he said. "You're not wearing any of your...stuff.""You said you liked me better without it," Effie said, but her lip was already wobbling, and after a moment she burst into tears. Haymitch immediately took her in her arms and she pressed her face into his chest."Oh, Haymitch," she cried in between sobs. "I missed you. I missed you so much. I was so lonely. I have no friends and everybody hates me."Haymitch soothingly rubbed her back. "Sweetheart...why didn't you come with us?""I didn't think you wanted me to," Effie sobbed. "I'm sorry.""No, don't say sorry," he said. "It's my fault. I should've told you to come with us...but I didn't think you'd want to live in District 12.""I'll live anywhere as long as I'm with you," Effie said without thinking. She glanced up at Haymitch's eyes nervously. "Oh-sorry-I didn't mean it like tha-"She was cut off by Haymitch pressing his lips to hers. She eagerly responded to the kiss and wrapped her arms around his neck. After a few moments, they broke apart. "I love you," Haymitch said.Effie was too stunned to speak."I love you and I hated it. I hated it because I knew we could never be together so I drunk to get rid of the feeling. But it still resurfaced and when I had to be sober in District 13, I saw you without makeup and I fell in love," Haymitch told her. He took a lock of strawberry-blonde hair in his fingers. "And now that you're wearing your real hair out I think I just fell in love all over again."Effie's lip immediately began wobbling again and out flowed the tears again. For a moment Haymitch worried she didn't love him back until she started blubbering out words in between her sobs."Haymitch," she breathed. "I love you too. I love you so, so, much. I never knew you felt the same way.""I never expected you to feel the same way about me," Haymitch said. "I thought you hated me.""I thought you hated me!""I hated you because I loved you so much. Because I knew the Capitol would find a way to fuck it all up and you'd end up dead. So I did hate you. But I loved you more." Haymitch hadn't said anything so loving since Lenore Dove's death over 25 years ago.He still loved Lenore Dove, he did. But he knew she would have wanted him to move on and find happiness with someone else. And he had. It just wasn't who he expected it to be. Against all odds, the drunken District 12 victor and District 12's prim and proper escort had fallen head over heels in love with each other. And against all odds, they'd both survived the war, and Panem was a peaceful place. Now, they could be happy and free together.Effie kissed him again. And after that, she moved in with him, and kissed him every day after that. She never went back to the Capitol. She spent her days snuggling with Haymitch and bonding with the District 12 citizens, making sure to sincerely apologise to each and every one of the families she'd reaped children from, even though she knew words would never bring their dead kids back.Katniss and Peeta eventually warmed up to the two of them being romantically involved. Katniss was bratty about it at the start, but soon the two of them began to see Haymitch and Effie as their parental figures. It was nice to have the two of them there, and it was nice to know that both Haymitch and Effie weren't alone anymore in the world.Three years to the day Effie showed up on his doorstep, Haymitch got down on one knee and proposed. Shocked and delighted, Effie had burst into tears and cried yes a million times over. Back in her Capitol days, Effie would have wanted a big fancy wedding. Now, things were simple.Effie dialled the number into Haymitch's phone that she had fixed again.
"Plutarch Heavensbee speaking."
"Plutarch. It's Effie Trinket."
"Ah, Miss Trinket. I haven't heard from you in a while. How is District 12?"
"Better than it ever was in the Capitol. I made the right decision to leave."
"Miss Trinket, may I ask the reason you have decided to ring me up after three years?"
"Because I'm not going to be Miss Trinket anymore."There was a long silence, and then Plutarch chuckled. "I did ask you to let me know when the wedding was, soon-to-be Mrs Abernathy.""How did you know I'm marrying Haymitch?"
"I just knew. And I saw the way you stared at each other in 13 when the other one wasn't looking."
Effie blushed. "The wedding is in two weeks."
"I wish you and Haymitch all the best."
Plutarch walked her down the aisle.The wedding was a simple traditional District 12 toasting. Peeta made the bread and the beautiful wedding cake, with E + H written in icing on the top. Everyone came. Annie and her little son, Johanna, Beetee. Haymitch knew Finnick, Chaff and his friends who had been lost in the war would have been there, too. Plus his ma, his pa, and Sid. Haymitch believed his family was looking down on him proudly, and that Lenore Dove was happy he had found happiness with someone else. Lenore would always have a special place in his heart, a place from many, many years ago that was locked with a key only Haymitch could access.And a year later, against all odds, Effie fell pregnant. Nine months later, she gave birth to a healthy baby girl. The three of them became a happy family. Years later, Katniss and Peeta married too, and had their own children.Against all odds, they were happy and free.The odds were finally in their favour.