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"*kiss* You *kiss* can't *kiss* go *kiss* yet *kiss*." Junhyuk said to his lover."I have to. I'm so tired too." Jaeho replied with his own kiss square on Junhyuk's lips."I‘m glad it’s ending," Junhyuk whispered, their lips were still touching."Mm, me too," Jaeho said, arms still tightly encircling his lover’s torso. They've been like this for about five minutes now. Junhyuk’s fingers have been constantly putting Jaeho's loose hair behind his ears in a repeated therapeutic movement.“Do you have to go now?” Junhyuk asked for the fifth time."Yes, baby.""You can just stay the night here. Just wear my clothes. Then you can just head straight to the salon." Junhyuk mumbled into his lover’s cheek."I've thought about that but I remembered I've got to wear proper clothes that’s you know... My size?" Jaeho tried reasoning again."Yeah, I know, but I'm testing my luck here." Junhyuk kissed Jaeho's lips again. And again. Jaeho had already worn Junhyuk's clothes during another filming, and he didn't like the scent, which changed to the vast array of perfumes that stuck to the hoodie when he got home. So he would really like to avoid it if he could this time. Junhyuk's scent is for him and him alone. And it's the judging round. He couldn't exactly be wearing an oversized long coat or turtleneck while sitting at the judges' table, could he? Not in front of millions watching on live television."Are you going to come home to me tomorrow after filming?" Junhyuk asked while Jaeho turned to put on his shoes, ready to finally head out. Junhyuk's hands never stopped touching his boyfriend's waist."I'm not sure, baby. There's a chance I'll conk out immediately after the shoot. But I'll be right back, okay?" Jaeho said. His thicker arms wrapped around Junhyuk’s slimmer torso once more. Junhyuk nodded in understanding. "Okay then, you have fun tomorrow, all right? Let's meet up when you're free.""Let's go on a date after you're better, okay?" Jaeho stood on his tiptoes to kiss Junhyuk, who was standing there looking sad but understanding. He's been feeling a little under the weather, so Jaeho understood why he had such a long face and having a hard time saying goodbye."Call me if you're feeling worse, baby. I'll come as soon as possible. I'll let Hyunminnie know to keep an eye on you too." Jaeho started to walk out the door. Junhyuk nodded, his sad eyes left much to be desired. He was definitely upset."I love you," Jaeho said, making sure to hold eye contact. "You know that, right? Eat well, baby. I'm gonna call you and make sure of that." His hand holding onto the doorknob. Junhyuk nodded. "Of course I do. I love you too. Call me right after. Be careful, okay?""You too, Jun-ah."With that, Jaeho finally exited the place, albeit with a heavy heart. But he told himself that Junhyuk would be fine and that he was a grown adult who could make a phone call at least, even if he was bad at taking care of himself..The next day, he had to be at the venue quite early. It had been a while since he made an appearance on national television. He was so nervous but forced himself together. It was going to be fine, he was only the judge and coach. He had been texting Junhyuk and the other kids nonstop. That's how nervous he was. And also remembering Junhyuk's face last night was upsetting."How are you feeling today?" Jaeho texted Junhyuk.Junhyuk, as always, replied immediately, "I'm okay, I just ate with the kids. They came to fetch me and now we're hanging out at Hyunmin's place. It's really nice here. Also, what did you tell them, baby? They were super worried about me."Jaeho smiled in relief, "Nothing, sweetheart. I just told them to keep an eye on their hyung if they're free.""Have you eaten?" His lover replied."They had a small food station, I nicked a sandwich.""Okay, then eat something else after that, okay?""Alright, I'll call you after I'm done.""I'll be watching TV with the kids, have fun, baby!""All right, I love you.""Me too. I miss you." Junhyuk texted right after."Let's go, Nano-sshi." A crew came to fetch him in the waiting room. And Jaeho clicked his phone shut.The filming was long and tiring, but it was fun. He enjoyed watching the girls he helped coach bore fruit on the stage, he enjoyed the audience's high energy, the judges' emotions, the amazing crew, everything. He missed these moments of shooting, even though there were a lot of parts that were rough and straight-up ugly that he definitely did not miss.It was so long ago, but it was also not. He loved what he had then, he wished he could've done so much more, but he understood that such is life, and it brought him to this moment. He was given a second chance, this time behind the scenes, away from the public eye for the most part. And he had found his love for music again, through the person he loved most.He was so tired when all the high energy had finally worn off. He was spent and just wanted to sleep everything off. His heart was still beating hard from adrenaline, and also from looking forward to checking up on his big baby. He texted Byungjoo, and then checked the time; it was almost 3 am. He didn't realise it was that late. So he texted Sangwon instead;“Hey, are you up?”Then within a minute, a text popped up;“Yeah hyung-nim, what's up?”“Are you still at Hyunminnie's place?”“Yeah, we slept over. I'm with Minnie and that short dude.”“Is Junnie asleep?”“Now? Yeah I think so. He couldn't sleep just now.”“Did he drink?”“No. He said you'd be able to tell. And his throat is acting up.”“Good. And yes I can.”“Want me to wake him?”“No, no. Let him sleep. I'll pick him up in the morning.”“Oh? Aren't you tired hyung?" The younger replied in surprise.“Yeah but I'll manage. Thanks, Sangwon-ah.”“No problem hyung-nim. Drive safely.” “Alright, you take care too. Thanks for keeping an eye on him.” At least the kids were there to monitor him. He was secretly relieved that he didn’t need to go check up on Junhyuk had the latter decided to stay home alone. Because it would’ve taken him about an hour plus to get there since he hired a driver for his way back home..The following morning, a figure walked up to a lump of body sleeping soundly on the bed. The said lump of body could feel his subconscious moving but not quite getting up, everything felt heavy and he just wanted to continue in his dreamland. The figure he felt coming close to him then spoke;“Hyung, Jaeho Hyung is here.” It was Sangwon. His voice was low and careful. But Junhyuk couldn’t seem to move a muscle. Everything felt like it would hurt if he moved an inch.“Let him sleep. Here, I brought some food for everyone. Is Byungjoo still here?” he could hear his boyfriend’s voice. His heart felt like it was fluttering excitedly but maybe that was just in his dreams. It felt like his soul came out to run toward Jaeho instead.“Yeah, he's in the shower.” He could hear the younger one reply, his voice trailing out of the room.“Did you guys drink?” Jaeho’s voice was getting further away.“A little. Not drunk though, cuz Junhyuk hyung could barely eat last night. We got worried.”“He didn't eat well?” Jaeho's voice turned more serious.“No, no, he did. But his appetite wasn't really there.” Sangwon explained a little panic.“Probably cuz you always hover over him, Hyung.” Hyunmin quipped from the kitchen, his voice far away. Jaeho seemed to let it slide and went to check on the gangly limbs covered with duvet. His palm slowly slid onto Junhyuk's forehead. It was warmer than the last time they met. He softly felt on the neck as well, and his concern grew. Junhyuk's brows were creasing even asleep. But Jaeho let his man sleep. “Sleep well, baby.” He whispered into the sleeping figure’s hair.After what felt like another hour or so, Junhyuk finally woke up. He felt so groggy and sluggish which was strange since he didn't drink anything he shouldn't and he ate. So why did he feel worse?Then the aches suddenly came. He sat up and felt worse, that's when the door to Hyunmin's room opened, and his lover's face popped up from the door, "Junnie?"And Junhyuk felt as if he couldn’t bear anything anymore and cried.**“He should be resting and lay off any alcoholic drinks and fatty foods for now. And especially no smoking. And make sure to finish your antibiotics, Junhyuk-sshi,” The doctor explained to the latter who nodded in earnest, and so did Jaeho.In the car, Junhyuk was quiet and looked at Jaeho. "Does it hurt a lot, baby?" While he patted Junhyuk's hair. The latter shook his head but his eyes were still red. His throat suddenly felt like on fire and he tried taking slow deep breaths;"Come on love, let's get you something to eat," Jaeho started the ignition and got the car warm."Don't leave me." The taller one said out of the blue."Huh?""Don't leave me, okay?" the lanky one’s voice sounded like a halted sob."Why... Would I?" Jaeho asked tentatively."I want to stay with you, Jae-i""Of course. It took us so long and hard to get here, why would I ever leave you?” Jaeho spoke coaxingly. "Truth to be told, I—kept thinking, that I feel like I’m getting clingier. And the thought of you—” He took another deep breath, “I don't want you to get sick of me. You're always taking care of me. And I'm always asking you to stay with me. Even when you're supposed to be living with your parents. We’re already so busy that I doubt you have any time for your parents. I feel awful pulling you around like this. I'm sorry, Jaeho-yah." Junhyuk's tears slid down silently, the one in the driver’s seat could tell that the man was holding back his sobs. His hands were still gripping his medicine bag, and Jaeho's eyes were wide with shock."Choi Junhyuk. Do you even hear what you're saying?" He could feel his brows scrunching in concern and his eyes started to pool. This always happens when he sees his lover's tears. "Don't talk bullshit baby, my Jun.” His hands gripping both Junhyuk's. "Listen to me carefully. You're mine and mine alone. We're doing all of this because we love each other. Obviously being with you makes me happy. Taking care of you makes me happy. Your health and happiness is my priority. Just like mine to you. You're not... unhappy with me, are you?" his voice trailed with worry."No!" Junhyuk's voice was rough. He started coughing, "I... I didn't mean it like that! I don't know why I said it like that. But I want to be with you. I mean, I wanted to say thank you for taking care of me and I want to be with you until you get sick of me. I'm sorry I'm suddenly bursting out like this."“Okay, okay love, I understand. Let's talk some more later but don't hurt your throat, okay? Let's get you some food and we'll go back and rest a lot." Jaeho said while wiping Junhyuk's tears with his sleeves. "My cry baby. What do I do with you? I'll kiss you lots when we get home."They didn't kiss a lot. Actually, they did not even kiss once. Junhyuk was adamant not to let Jaeho's lips near his mouth. He was worried he might carrying an unidentified virus that could also hurt Jaeho. The next doctor’s appointment would run a separate check-up for his throat if the antibiotics were not working.It has been a while since he nursed someone back to health. He’d forgotten how much effort was needed to make sure that the house was clean and chores were getting done while ensuring that Junhyuk was eating and resting properly. To put the cherry on top, he had to work. The oncoming meetings and other side projects were crazy for Vendors these days. Every single project must go through him and Yijeong which means every single free minute he was working. Don’t get him wrong, he was so thankful and grateful for every opportunity that they had. It made him distracted, busy, and doing what he loves best. But managing a company and employees on top of his sick lover and his parents were seriously driving him on the edge. His upcoming personal projects were getting more demanding and he did not know for sure how long do him and Junhyuk have now. But he had vowed to himself that the tall gangly man would always be his priority no matter what.So not getting kisses was taking an extra toll on his mental health. Though, they did hug a lot. All the time if they could help it. Junhyuk would fall asleep on top of Jaeho while he was working. Even when the night is long for Jaeho, he still be made sure that Junhyuk would eat and get settled. He'd call on nights and mornings when he had to be at work (or when Jaeho was finally awake for the day).Junhyuk was extra sensitive when he was sick. So Jaeho had to stay with him almost every day. Meaning he had been wearing Junhyuk’s clothes on and off for almost two weeks; which he’d never complain. It was the only comfort he had when trudging through work and getting through the day. The problem was, that he wouldn't let Jaeho go to the gym, he didn't want to eat alone, and would get upset when Jaeho came home late. The slightly younger one knew that Junhyuk was trying his best to not get emotional, he could see at times that the taller man would hold back his tears with effort. In turn, it made Jaeho sad and held him to sleep. Jaeho understood that it was because he was sick and lonely. His lover was an A+ workaholic, so staying far from work for too long made him anxious. The latter prohibited him from working at home as well, it didn’t bode well with him that Junhyuk would still be sacrificing his health for something that could wait. In order to make Junhyuk feel less lonely, Jaeho tried to call people over while he was at the company. Just like what he did prior to Junhyuk getting a fever and a throat condition. While Junhyuk was recovering and had company over, he'd text Junhyuk whenever he had time, but the work was mounting and he tried restraint his mind wandering to his lover every single second of every day. And Jaeho was a little afraid that people would notice his things in Junhyuk's bedroom. So he tried to put it away from prying eyes whenever he was over, which was getting more often. His parents didn’t mind surprisingly, they told him to take care of Junhyuk since his family was far. Many people thought that they were just very close, to the point where sharing clothes was normal for them. Thinking back during their idol days, this wasn’t unusual. The time they could spend with each other was dwindling fast. Soon, Junhyuk would have to go to his hospital appointment and Jaeho wanted to be there for him. They were trying to see if Junhyuk’s throat was improving or if they needed further tests to diagnose him. The younger one feared that Junhyuk was overstressing his vocal cords before he even got sick. He was training a lot more than usual for their upcoming big project, surely he had to strain his voice in the process. But time, there just wasn’t enough. That night, while he was slaving away in the studio, thinking that he could have wrapped things up nicely when an urgent reedit needed to be done ASAP. Jaeho, or Nano, in this case, had no clue how long he was in there, getting to the finishing touches. He couldn’t even think about his lover, whose fever had spiked last night when they were sleeping. Jaeho was worn to the bone with worry because he couldn’t escape work that day. He cursed everyone when he arrived at the company in his heart. He told Junhyuk to eat the congee he made early in the morning and the medicine, and that was the last time he held his mobile. Usually, Junhyuk, better known here as Polar the producer, would be by his side almost 24/7. His face was only a few meters away so Jaeho could always get his recharge anytime. But now, he didn’t know how long it had been. Not that this type of situation was out of the norm, nonetheless it hurt ten times worse when his lover was unwell and far. Some of the producers that were with them commented on how his face looked extra rough or how his brows never stopped furrowing. He was so tired. “Hyung… Hyung!” A voice snapped Jaeho back into reality. “Huh?” “Are you okay? Do you need a break?” Sangwon said with evident concern. “Wha—” the elder tried to regain some semblance of reality. “I think you’re done hyung. The rest of it is for them to wrap up.” Sangwon proceeded to explain. Jaeho’s fogginess was back and he clicked to save everything and made sure it was actually done. How has he been in here? Everything felt so… muggy. “Well, you’ve stuck here the longest, hyung-nim.” Huh? “Did I say that out loud?” Sangwon chuckled to mask his worry, “Yeah. Your eyes barely left the monitors. Here’s your food, you haven’t eaten for almost ten hours, hyung. Eat something. I’ve warmed them up for you again.” And the sight of food made his stomach growl, but his heart and head ache for something, no, someone.
“Oh.”
“Junnie.”
“Junnie.” Jaeho muttered under his breath. “Junhyukkie hyung?” “I have to get home,” Jaeho said with more confidence. He was ready to pack his things into his black bag. “Hyung-nim, eat something first. You’re gonna collapse if you go back now.” Sangwon was very worried now, “Did you miss something hyung? Do you need something from Junhyukkie hyung?” “How long was I here, Sangwon-ah?” he could feel his body was trembling with hunger. He relented and opened the food containers. Jaeho slowly started to fill up his stomach while listening to the younger’s story; “Hyung, you were here for more than a day! You napped a bit here and there but the rest of the time, you kind of just, lost your mind, your brain just went to work mode. You must've worked too hard hyung-nim! Didn’t even touch your phone.” Sangwon handed his mobile to him. Jaeho’s heart was beating so hard with worry and immediately checked. 20 missed calls. “Twenty?!” He gasped in disbelief and slight panic. “The phone was on silent hyung, no wonder you didn’t notice. Don’t worry, Junhyukkie hyung called me and pretty much threatened me to take care of you.” He chuckled in delight. “Junnie, did he eat? His medicine? Fuck, what date is today? His appointment—" Jaeho’s mental notes started going through his head at an alarming rate. “Jaeho-yah.” A soft but deep familiar voice entered the room. they both must’ve missed the keypad sound upon being touched."Oh. You came." That was all he could say when he saw Junhyuk. His lover looked a little pale after he took off the mask but he seemed much better than the night before. Sangwon was excited but worried about Junhyuk’s health. “Hyung-nim! Are you sure you can even be here? How’s your throat?” The eldest smiled, his cute dimples showing, “Still hurts, but my appointment is in two days, I’ll be able to check it out properly then.” “I see, okay hyung, please rest your throat, okay? And tell this hyung to go back. His parents are probably worried about him.” The youngest of the three casually threw Jaeho under the bus, which made Junhyuk glare at him. “So you were really here the whole time?” Jaeho looked at Sangwon for some kind of salvation. The latter then explained how the work was truly last-minute hell for Jaeho and it sort of sent him into a zone. Sangwon then unhelpfully (from the Billion’s Music CEO perspective) said that the man barely ate anything until now. “Yah, I’m eating right this second, aren’t I?” Jaeho expressed much of his displease. Junhyuk then sat right beside his lover and essentially stared at him putting food in his mouth. When Jaeho offered some to him, the man straight refused; “I already ate your congee and some Gukbab.” He replied coolly. Without realising, Jaeho immediately nagged him, “It better not be pork Gukbap, I know you love it, but that’s gonna worsen your vocal cord.” Sangwon responded, “Really?” in passing and Junhyuk said softly, “Don’t worry, I didn’t. Unlike someone here, I actually took my medicine and ate on time. You know? Because I have someone who was very worried about me.” And Jaeho turned to look at Junhyuk mid-chew. The youngest producer then stood up and said he had to leave before he got sleepy. They bid their farewells and when the giant puppy left the studio, Junhyuk held onto Jaeho's hand."Jae-i." he whispered."Hmm?""Why are you crying?""Am I?” he touched his cheeks and noticed a tear had escaped. “I didn’t know that I was crying. Why I'm such a crybaby when it comes to you?" Jaeho huffed sadly.“What's wrong?” Junhyuk whispered. “Did I make you upset? Is it true you were so busy that you couldn’t even hold your phone?”“Yes, it didn’t even cross my mind. And no, you didn’t upset me. I just… I missed you. And I’m fucking exhausted.” The younger of the two wiped his tears. It wasn’t a lot, only one or two small streaks rolling down. “Me too.” The taller one hugged him by his side and nuzzled his face into his lover’s neck. “I feel like it’s been forever. We’ve never gone on this long without seeing each other. You were always right there when I needed my recharge, you know?” Jaeho whispered.“I know right? After I showered, all I could think of was, ‘Why is my heart beating so fast?’ Then I couldn’t take it anymore and came here to pick you up no matter what. So let's go home, okay?”“Yeah, let's go.” Jaeho’s fingers intertwined with Junhyuk’s. “After you finish your food, baby.”.When they finally arrived at Junhyuk's house, the two 30-somethings hugged. Jaeho’s arms were tight around his torso, “I miss you like crazy, Junnie. I didn't even realise it until you were right there in front of me. Like I was holding back when we were texting because I didn't want to worry you.” He sighed heavily."Me too, Jaeho-yah. Let’s not be apart without communication, you hear me?" Junhyuk said softly.“I mean to, Jun-ah. The work suddenly came this morning—” “Yesterday morning.” His boyfriend interjected. “Damn, yeah. Yesterday morning. I’ve never been like that ever since… before my enlistment?” Jaeho thought. “But bottom line is, that was hell. I don’t to lose myself like that again. I almost missed your appointment and I didn’t even check if your fever broke properly.” He held Junhyuk’s head and rubbed his thumbs on both of the elder’s cheeks.“I don't care. I want you to stay with me every day when you want to. And I’m feeling a lot better already. I think I can come to work tomorrow.” The elder of the two said with hope. “No. Stay for one more day at least. Rest your throat, okay? Don’t talk too much” Jaeho decided. “You say that only after I’ve talked a lot,” Junhyuk muttered. He followed the sentence with a yawn so big that it made his eyes teary. Jaeho noticed that it was already pretty late for his boyfriend’s sleeping time.“Okay, okay. I’ll stay with you since nothing is going on tomorrow. My big baby. Let’s get you to bed.” Said baby protested and wanted to stay up with Jaeho a little longer but the younger of the two wouldn’t let up. “Come on, we’ll talk again tomorrow anyway. You need rest.” He tried coaxing, and the taller one followed to the bathroom to wash up. As they were getting snuggly under the covers, the taller one asked; “Junnie, where’s your lip balm?” Jaeho asked when he was about to switch off the light. And his lover waved the small contraption and put it on his bedside. “You know, I even finished watching all the episodes of Single’s Inferno’s latest season.” Which made Jaeho laugh out loud. “Yah, should you be watching those kinds of programmes in your condition? It’s gonna make you more excited and you’ll scream and laugh. I told you not to stress your throat, right? Huh? Did I or did I not tell you, Choi Junhyuk?” the pretty one pinched his lover’s waist. Junhyuk was chuckling happily which in turn made Jaeho smile until his face hurt. “Choi Junhyuk-sshi, are you listening to me? Hm? Answer me or I’ll kiss you.” The lover shook his head in protest and Jaeho attacked him with a surprised kiss. Junhyuk’s went wide, “No, you can’t. Did you just do that?” Junhyuk was laughing in disbelief. “Who says I can’t? I don’t care anymore. Not after today. I want to kiss you as much as I want. You aren’t allowed to protest.” Jaeho pulled Junhyuk’s face closer and started giving multiple pecks on the luscious lips. Eventually, the taller one relented and ceased his laughing, returning the kisses with as much fervour. “You changed your lip balm again, didn’t you?” Jaeho whispered. “I swear to God, you have CCTV on me. How did you know?” “Because I get to kiss you the most.” “That’s so cringey.” Junhyuk laughed out loud. “But it’s true though? Are you telling me you’re kissing other people too?” “But where would I hide them all?” he gave Jaeho another soft kiss. “I know right?” the latter said while tucking Junhyuk snuggly. He lay beside and stared at his handsome lover. Their hands intertwined and the slightly older one pulled it to their chest. His thumb was caressing the back of the hand gently. “Junnie, remember the date that I promised? Wanna go after the appointment?” Jaeho whispered. Junhyuk looked at him with the most adoring eyes and nodded. “I want some ice cream.” He replied. Instinctively, his other hand stroked the loose hair away from Jaeho’s face. The most beautiful man in Junhyuk’s eyes also smiled and said, “Heol, me too. I’ve been craving them since last week. I guess we are made for each other, huh?” Junhyuk chuckled and said, “Why are you so cringey tonight?” They kissed one last time before they cuddled closer to dreamland. End of part 1.