Work Text
7.3.23
BREAKING: JAN VAN ECK FOUND GUILTY OF EMBEZZLEMENT, FRAUD, CHILD ABUSE, SENTENCE TO COME.
Police have searched on site and online files belonging to upstanding Merchant Council member Jan Van Eck after being given an anonymous tip. This has proved to be a fruitful search as decisive evidence was found of embezzlements of Council funds for Van Eck's own gain and the making of fraudulent business deals. In addition, the same evening the search was conducted, multiple rolls of film were submitted to the police showing Van Eck physically and emotionally abusing his only son, Wylan Van Eck - onstensibly for lack of ability to read. [Full article here]. 12.3.22
Wylan Van Eck To Be Placed In Foster Care After Father's Arrest.
After last week's dramatic arrest of promient Merchant Council member Jan Van Eck (47), speculations have circulated on the likely fate of his son, Wylan Van Eck (16), who has been physically and emotionally abused by his father and will be speaking against him during Jan's trial. This morning, it was confirmed that Wylan will be moving into his new foster home as soon as next week. In this article, we'll meet his new family, all specially trained to help foster kids feel safe.
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Image caption: l-r Nichole Lelyan, Alexander Lelyan-Echerz, Venus Lelyan-Echerz, Hilla Lelyan-Echerz, James Echerz. 2:18pm 14.3.23
HILLA: hey did i get the number right?WYLAN: haha yup!! Hello 👋HILLA: hiiiiì 😁 here's the painting I was talking about btw
HILLA: -uploadedimage.file-WYLAN: nice, I see what you mean about the throwing technique.
WYLAN: and the coloursHILLA: yeah 😄 good to meet you today! what did u think of the fam? don't hold back hahaWYLAN: i think that your parents are wonderful, and I'm scared of Venus and her lizard, and is your brother always that quiet?HILLA: HAHAHAHHAAA
HILLA: no alexander is usually very loud he just gets shy around new people
HILLA: dont worry you'll hear him scream soon enough and then you'll probably wish to be an only child again
HILLA: sorry if that was insensitiveWYLAN: haha all good
WYLAN: oops I have to go, talk later?HILLA: yup, for sure 😊
HILLA:oh btw i might be nosy but do you have any idea who did the 'anonymous tip' to the police?
HILLA: idle curiousity haha5:37pm
WYLAN: yes actually but this is confidential info okay? Also it's really just a hunch he hasn't confirmed it
WYLAN: i think it was my bf's boss
WYLAN:and im pretty sure his situationship was the one who found/took and dropped off the videosHILLA: hmm that's interesting.WYLAN: im kinda friends with both of them as well though
WYLAN: listen it makes sense if you know themHILLA: i guess it must
HILLA: if they're your friends would I meet them at some point?
HILLA: btw thanks for indulging my idle curiousityWYLAN: oh haha you're welcome
WYLAN: i dunno maybe.HILLA: gtg sorry 😘😘WYLAN: no prob, goodnight 11:37am 27.5.23
HILLA: hey wylan can you driveWYLAN: i have my L's, why?HILLA: where are you rn btw?WYLAN: at my bf's place
WYLAN: he can drive by the way
WYLAN: is everything okay?HILLA: i might need a ride out of here
HILLA: i'm at school and im on the verge of a major meltdown and both my parents are working
HILLA: also im not meant to be on my phone rn
HILLA: but im lowkey desperateWYLAN: jesper and i will be there in a bitHILLA: tysm 🙏🙏🙏WYLAN: did something happen?HILLA: just the usual but im not handling so well and people keep talking to me and i cant take it anymoreWYLAN: what's the usual?HILLA: academic pressure and queerphobic kids dwWYLAN: have you reported them?HILLA: yea but ofc nothing happened, and anyways it doesn't matter. I can handle them, this is part and parcel of being the first openly genderqueer student at my school
HILLA: plus if i act like its fine then other kids will be able to come out too and then like fuck the haters
HILLA: its just that im about to have an anxiety attack and i'm in a really bad place for it i just got called back after maths because im falling behind and FUCK i can feel people looking at me i hate this so muchWYLAN: okay that all makes so much sense i'm here now do i have to come in and get you?HILLA: yeah can you please?WYLAN: for sure hang tightHILLA: thank you so much oh my god
HILLA: literally the best brother of all time8:21pm, 16.6.23
WYLAN: hilla where are you? Are you in the house?8:29pm
HILLA: no sorry i just saw this, i'm outWYLAN: out where????HILLA: oh god sorry you don't know. I'm on my bike literally just going in circles around the neighbourhood.
HILLA: i do it a lot it's a stress relief
HILLA: my curfew is technically eight thirty but im gonna stay out a bit later - its safe dw just dont tell mum and dad pleaseeeeeeeeeWYLAN: its definitely safe for you to be out after your curfew?HILLA: yup absolutely i do this all the time
HILLA: im out past curfew a lot i just want mum and dad to think that everything goes perfect when they leave you in charge so they go out together more
HILLA: which is why im asking u to not tell them i stayed outWYLAN: i wont get in trouble if they find out right?HILLA: no definitely not dw
HILLA: r u reassurred cause the longer i stand here texting the more mossies eat meWYLAN: yeah i'm fine have fun
WYLAN: please come in before your parents get home, obviouslyHILLA: yuh huh ofc
HILLA: ur good at babysitting im so glad u have the kids rn instead of me. Never thought i'd like having an older sib but ur pretty dam cool n u get me out of babysitting dutiesWYLAN: aww thanks that's really sweet haha9:02pm
WYLAN: your brother is going to kill me please come homeHILLA: he's our brother now. And your problem. Soz 😘😘WYLAN: PLEASEHILLA: ...
HILLA: be there in ten, wimp
HILLA: can you hang on for that long?WYLAN: i dont know but thank youHILLA: omw /wereallqueerhere/
10:19am 11.5.24
NINA: guys i need helpINEJ: whats up???
INEJ: also
INEJ: guess what?JESPER: sup, neens?NINA: soJESPER: WHAT inej WHATNINA: basicallyMATTHIAS: nina, darling, i apologise for calling you out but why is your entire cupboard tipped out over the floor of our apartment?INEJ: check out this hat I got kaz:
INEJ: -uploadedimage.file-JESPER: yeah, NINA, why IS your entire cupboard on the floor?NINA: thats what i need help with, you guys!
NINA: i'm trying to choose what to wearINEJ: for what event, nina?JESPER: THATS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL HAT
JESPER: KAZ DID U THANK INEJ
JESPER: I WANT THAT HATKAZ: obviously i thanked her.NINA: huh? no event, i'm just stumped over what to wear for today.
NINA: well, i was going to ask nej and jes out to shop, but not really an eventKAZ: i really woke up for this?INEJ: i cant come out today, sorry
INEJ: kaz, you slept?? good on you. go back to sleep. everyone shut up.JESPER: i also cant come out with you, sorry neens
JESPER: i understand ur issue tho
JESPER: i can come over for ten min in like half an hour to help u pick something from what u have???MATTHIAS: why werent you going to invite me out?
MATTHIAS: i can help you choose clothes, gorgeous.
MATTHIAS: my question is really, where are you at the moment?WYLAN: hey guys!!JESPER: WYLAN!! HIII!! HOW ARE YOU!!INEJ: good morning wylan ❤️ how is it going?NINA: wylan, darling 😘😘 good to hear from you. tell us whats been happening!! 😁
NINA: @MATTHIAS I am inside the wardrobeWYLAN: im going pretty good
WYLAN: -videoattatchment.file:43.seconds-[video opens on wylan's face, grinning tiredly. hes in the backseat of a car, surrounded by bags and luggage. taylor swift's look what you made me do is blasting from the car speakers. the camera turns around and in the front seat are wylan's adopted parents, humming absently along. the dad drives and the mum leans back in her seat to mediate between the two younger kids in the middle row, managing to squabble over something despite the luggage heaped on the seat brtween them. the camera shakes and a flash of the window, greenery flashing past, before its pointed back towards the back of the car - the window across from wylan, where two feet in bkack converse, crossed at the ankles, rest on top of the cupholder. the camera travels down the legs, green tracksuit pants, a mcdonalds medium chips, half-empty, wedged beside a bottle of apple juice and a phone between the seat and the hip. finally across a teal jumper cut by the seatbelt the camera finds a face covered by a broad-brimmed brown hat, resting on wylan's knees. short dark hair sprays out from under the hat. wylan ducks into the frame holding up a peace sign and grinning still. "this is the scene for the family road trip - its a whole lot of fun so far, and we havent even gotten anywhere yet! i miss you guys as well, obviously, but this is literally awesome." wylan straightens up and the song changes to lover, there's another flash of green rolling past the window, and the video ends]WYLAN: -uploadedimage.file-
WYLAN: me and my sibling 😊😁KAZ: looks like a hatJESPER: O M GGG LOOKS LIKE SO MUCH FUN ❤️❤️❤️ HAVING BLAST ✨️🎇🎉🎉NINA: look AMAZING wylan, we miss you tooINEJ: kaz, shut upMATTHIAS: im glad that you are having fun, wylan
MATTHIAS: Nina, i don't understand what you mean when you say that you are in the wardrobe
MATTHIAS: im pretty sure everyone here knows you're bisexual - you're the one who named the group chat.WYLAN: @KAZ
WYLAN: -uploadedimage.file-
WYLAN: does that look less like a hatKAZ: yeah, sure, that's a personNINA: a very cute person, tell them from me!
NINA: @MATTHIAS I am in the literal wardrobeJESPER: 🤩 certified not a hat 🚫🎩🚫👒🚫🧢
JESPER: pfff oh matthias. that's the closet, not the wardrobeNINA: it's bigger than we thoughtWYLAN: they say thanks, neens ☺️MATTHIAS: @NINA what in Djel's name do you mean by 'it's bigger than we thought'?NINA: alright guys rate this fit:
NINA: -uploadedimage.file-
NINA: @MATTHIAS come in here and find outINEJ: cute!! you look fantastic, nina 🤩🥰KAZ: nina, matthias, get a room. I did not need to wake up to a notification that said 'come in here and find out.'JESPER: slaying, neens - maybe try swap the shoes out for something a bit more colourful?
JESPER: don't get me wrong, those leather heels look amazing - I want them - its just a suggestion
JESPER: also, @KAZ, if that's the first thing that came to mind for you I don't know what to say, but I don't think that's Nina and Matthias's problem to be honest.INEJ: kaz, you should put your phone on silent so you can get some sleep
INEJ: neens, I reckon those heels are perfect with that dress, but u should put ur hair up, maybe braid it.NINA: ooh interesting idea jes, I'll try it
NINA: thnx nej 🥰 any hairstyle suggestions?MATTHIAS: kaz, that was an uncalled for insinuation.
MATTHIAS: how big is this Djel-forsaken wardrobe? I think I've been in here for five minutes now and I haven't found you, nina.INEJ: hold on a sec, neensKAZ: @INEJ, I'm waiting for an important call, so I can't turn my notifications off.WYLAN: -videoattachment.file:11.seconds-[video opens on a shaky scene of wylan's sibling's freckled face, they twist and duck out of wylan's reach. "Heyyy, folks," they giggle, face close to the camera, "Wylan's letting me read your conversations -" From behind them, wylan's voice exclaims "I am not, you're just being cheeky and reading over my shoulder!" over their shoulder he lunges into view, grappling for the phone. "And I think you're all very funny and cool except for kaz!" they say in a rush, as the phone is snatched from them by wylan, pausing briefly on his face before the video ends]NINA: @MATTHIAS: right turn past the big fluffy jumper, left at the termite-eaten drywall, straight on past the three rat carcasses and you'll find me. probably.
NINA: @KAZ take ur call and stop grouching at us, thenMATTHIAS: ah, I see, I went left at the fluffy jumperJESPER: the fuck is up with y'all's closet?MATTHIAS: headed for you nowNINA: aww, hey Hilla! ur also very cool, tell wylan to stop being so uptight about our gc 😘😘JESPER: wylan! hilla! heyy!! glad you're both having fun!!! 😁😁KAZ: rude.WYLAN: im not being uptight. they managed to grab my phone, after allNINA: omg wy you should add them to the gc!!
NINA: also @JESPER our wardrobe is perfectly normal tyvmJESPER: yessss Hilla join our group chat!!
JESPER: @NINA no the fuck it is notINEJ: -uploadedimage.file-
INEJ: -uploadedimage.file-
INEJ: -uploadedimage.file-
INEJ: -uploadedimage.file-
INEJ: -uploadedimage.file-
INEJ: @NINA, here's some ideas for the braiding pattern to go with that dress
INEJ: I know your hair isn't as long as mine but I chose some fairly simple braids that still look pretty good.
INEJ: matthias should be able to do it, even, and I can send instructions if necessary.NINA: thanks nej youre a lifesaver
NINA: idk what i would do without u ilysm ❤️
NINA: @JESPER prove it. Tell me what a normal wardrobe looks like, if not this. I'll wait.WYLAN: yesyesyes add me from hilksaddINEJ: aww good to see you hilla!! Haha
INEJ: ur welcome neens 😊JESPER: @WYLAN what just happenedMATTHIAS: @INEJ could you please message me with instructions for the third braiding style? And also the fourth
MATTHIAS: also @NINA there are two termite eaten drywalls and they're pointing me in opposite directions.WYLAN: hilla got my phone haha.
WYLAN: i'm happy to add them if everyone thinks its a good idea.INEJ: sure, matthias, I'll message you privately.
INEJ: @WYLAN u totally shouldddJESPER: the termite-eaten drywalls of fate, choose wisely matthias
JESPER: i maintain that this wardrobe is broken
JESPER: have fun in fucking narnia, nina
JESPER: here are some photos of what a wardrobe SHOULD look likeNINA: @MATTHIAS okay hold up i am going to come find youJESPER: -uploadedimage.file-
JESPER: -uploadedimage.file-
JESPER: see the back??? With no secret passageways or termite drywalls???MATTHIAS: @NINA sounds good, I'm staying putJESPER: this is what a wardrobe should look like
JESPER: i hate to say it but urs is seriously fucked
JESPER: can i come over and explore?NINA: @JESPER i dont believe u
NINA: also yah come wheneverWYLAN: termite walls of fateJESPER: termite walls of fateINEJ: termite walls of fateJESPER: termite walls of fateWYLAN: termite walls of fateMATTHIAS: what in djel's name is happeningJESPER: TERMITE WALLS OF FATEWYLAN: TERMITE WALLS OF FATENINA: TERMITE WALLS OF FATEKAZ: SHUT THE FUCK UPINEJ: TERMITE WALLS OF FATE
INEJ: kaz, languageJESPER: TERMITE WALLS OF FATEMATTHIAS: should i be scared??NINA: yes, very 😈KAZ: is everyone finished with the fucking drywalls?INEJ: language, kazKAZ: sorry, inejNINA: HAHAHAHAHHAAA
NINA: sorry, matthias
NINA: -videoattatchment.file:29seconds-[video opens on nina's face, a shaky sideways shot which shows more of the dark, dusty space behind her, littered with various odd shapes. She holds a finger to her lips, and pans the camera around to show Matthias, leaning against a crumbling, termite-eaten drywall, opposite a very similar drywall. He's got his arms folded, and he's humming "HOT TO GO" under his breath. The camera shakes as nina's footsteps creep forwards, and then it's leant against something and nina creeps into frame, around the other side of matthias' drywall. She pauses to grin at the camera, then throws herself against the wall. Matthias screams and nina cackles, bits drywall scattering. Nina heads back towards the phone as matthias starts muttering vague prayers to djel, and the video cuts out]JESPER: did kaz just apologise???KAZ: shut upJESPER: rudeMATTHIAS: nina was that quite appropriate to share?NINA: yes
NINA: i can delete it if you'd really like me to, though.JESPER: OH MY GOD HAHHAHAHAAAAA
JESPER: NINA THAT WAS AWESOME
JESPER: MATTHIAS URS IS MY NEW FAV RENDITION IF HOTTOGO
JESPER: also im coming over to explore ur wardrobe now, see you soon.NINA: haha thnx
NINA: see ya!!WYLAN: i do not even know what is going on anymore
WYLAN: but is matthias okay?JESPER: thats so real wyMATTHIAS: yes, thank you for enquiring.JESPER: nej wanna come explore nina's wardrobe with me?INEJ: sorry jes - i'm working todayJESPER: oh yeah right i forgot you were a teenage SUPERSTAR
JESPER: WHO TAKES ON EVERY VILLAIN IN THE WORLD AT ONCE
JESPER: AND MAKES THE WORLD A MUCH BETTER PLACE JUST BY EXISTING
JESPER: ILYSM INEJJJJJJJJJNINA: jesper hands off she's mine
NINA: and she is more amazing than you know enough words to say
NINA: and she's already agreed to explore my wardrobe with me tomorrowJESPER: dangit im busy tomorrowNINA: you weren't invitedINEJ: thank you both very much but i belong to myselfNINA: of course nej sorry!!!!KAZ: ...I'm on a business call.JESPER: and?MATTHIAS: @JESPER if it helps i was also not invitedJESPER: thanks matthiasKAZ: and shut upINEJ: put your phone on silent, kazWYLAN: i too was not invited
WYLAN: but that's probably because I'll be out of the stateJESPER: awwww i miss u wy!!!!WYLAN: hilla requests that i note that they were not invited eitherINEJ: hilla was totally invited!!!
INEJ: except for the out-of-state bit hahaWYLAN: miss you too jes ❤️ and the rest of youNINA: i agree with inej hilla was defs invited
NINA: why havent you added them to the gc yet @WYLAN?WYLAN: cause no one answered my text when i asked if it was chill
WYLAN: i wanna make sure there's a consensusNINA: alr fine
NINA: ALL IN FAVOUR OF HILLA BEING ADDED TO THE GROUP CHAT
NINA: SAY "AYE"
NINA: AYEJESPER: AYEINEJ: AYEMATTHIAS: ayeJESPER: matty u gotta do it in all capsMATTHIAS: do i?JESPER: yuh huhMATTHIAS: i dont actually know how to do capital lettersNINA: give me your phoneMATTHIAS: AYEWYLAN: haha
WYLAN: AYENINA @KAZ im gonna spam tag you so you get a zillion notifications all you have to do is say "AYE"
NINA: @KAZ
NINA: @KAZ
NINA: @KAZKAZ: fuck you, zenik
KAZ: AYE
KAZ: happy?NINA: @KAZ
NINA: whoops sorry
NINA: extremely happy 😊
NINA: ADD HILLA TO THE GC!!!WYLAN: okay 👍+HILLA was added to /wereallqueerhere/+HILLA: hey yall!! 😘😘🤪NINA: hi darling!! How's it going??JESPER: helloooooooooINEJ: hey 👋😘MATTHIAS: good afternoon, HillaHILLA: im going good wylan is a very sweet older brother. I don't think he knows he's allowed to tell the kids to be quiet
HILLA: and i just got to choose a song and now everyone is pissed at me cause no-one likes my musicWYLAN: how do you listen to this. My earsNINA: sounds like an interesting car trip!!WYLAN: are bleeding. They knocked the phone out of my hand
WYLAN: rudeJESPER: what song did u request Hilla?HILLA: literally just Addicted by Bliss n Eso cmon man this is tameJESPER: listening now brbINEJ: aww wylan as a big bro sounds very cute
INEJ: at least you like your music 😊NINA: watch out they broke nej i've never seen her use emojis before and TWICE in the five min since Hilla joined she didHILLA: whoops 🤭INEJ: 🤯😧😱NINA: ⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ help im scaredINEJ: 😏 u should b 😶😙NINA: jes is that u
NINA: banging on our door
NINA: if it is just come in we're still in the wardrobeMATTHIAS: i think i just heard the neighbours
MATTHIAS: i want to go backJESPER: yes it's me i brought flashlights and snacks lmk where u rNINA: i heard that too
NINA: u reckon they're fucking?
NINA: jesper come and listenJESPER: where are yall?MATTHIAS: @JESPER past the broken drywall, right at the pile of rodent corpses, ten big steps then text us i'll give further instructionsJESPER: 👍 thx, c u soonNINA: oh yeah they're definitely fuckingMATTHIAS: nina!NINA: what??? 🥺WYLAN: maybe hilla should not be on this chatMATTHIAS: precisely, nina, think of the childrenHILLA: pfffff i am a lot less innocent than matthias
HILLA: nina tell more
HILLA: i've read smut that would make most of your heads explodeMATTHIAS: what's "smut"?JESPER: HAHHAHAA 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 nobody tell him hillas right his head would explodeMATTHIAS: what?NINA: matthias, darling
NINA: when an author sits down to write a book
NINA: and in that book at least one character exists
NINA: there will come a time when other people read that book and decide that this character - or these characters - need to experience other things besides what is in the book
NINA: these people then write what is called "fanfiction"
NINA: and often, what they decide the fictional person or people need is to get laid
NINA: they then describe this, often in graphic detail
NINA: this is known as smutMATTHIAS: i dont believe you
MATTHIAS: absolutely not i do not believe you
MATTHIAS: who would read that, though????JESPER: plenty of people! Me, for exampleHILLA: 🙋 meNINA: 🎶mememememeeeeee🎵INEJ: occasionally, as long as it's mostly fluff and decidedly SS&C and also for one of three hyperspecific shipsHILLA: thats so real inejNINA: guys i think jesper and hilla were right
NINA: matthias has just been staring at his phone for about five minutes while his face slowly gets brighter and brighter red
NINA: i think his heads going to explode im taking coverWYLAN: i cant read obviously but i listen to smut sometimesJESPER: without me??? 🥺🥺🥺HILLA: okay boys dont make it weirdKAZ: Keep going, boys. I want to see if m
Matthias' head actually explodes.
KAZ: I do have to agree with him though all of you are weird and gross.NINA: no kinkshaming dirtyhandsKAZ: Being sex averse or repulsed is not kinkshaming.
KAZ: Asexuality is a valid queer identity.
KAZ: assholes.HILLA: hey im ace too!! Twinning haha
HILLA: and i mean i do have sa or sr days so
HILLA: but only nina was the asshole hereNINA: -uploadedimage.file-
NINA: is it just me or has his face passed tomato levels
NINA: i am NOT an asshole hilla i thought we were FRIENDSWYLAN: jesus christ on a bike slathered in hot sauceJESPER: oh my god i dont know what im laughing at more
JESPER: that photo or wylans reaction
JESPER: i have been taken OUT 💀💀💀HILLA: jesper i was sitting next to wylan when he said that into his phone. Out loud.
HILLA: sorry neens 😘😘WYLAN: they cant stop laughingHILLA: hes just staring at me in utter bafflement i cantINEJ: maybe we should end this conversation i am genuinely worried for matthias' skullNINA: hell be fine
NINA: hilla, if you've "read smut that would make most of our heads explode" plz tell us some of the worst of itHILLA: okay but wylan has to stop playing our messages aloud to the whole car
HILLA: you shoulda stopped that a while ago mum and dad are gonna be talking to me laterWYLAN: oh shit sorryINEJ: i'd prefer you didnt hilla
INEJ: for matthias' sake and mine
INEJ: and kaz'sNINA: thats very fair nej
NINA: u reckon you can handle a vague description?INEJ: no i dont think so
INEJ: like especially not right now i just saw someone and had a panic attack because he looked like my exNINA: oh darling im so sorry
NINA: hilla cancel the matthias-exploding smutJESPER: should i go beat someone up for you nej?
JESPER: I mean im ears deep in ninas stupid wardrobe but i could totally find my way out to punch someone for youINEJ: im fine guys
INEJ: i saw someone who looked like him
INEJ: have you forgotten i already ruined his lifeJESPER: i will still punch anything you tell me to, darlingNINA: i'll do five better and take you out for waffles, my love 😘😘😘JESPER: i can also take you out for waffles!! I can just punch people too!!!NINA: jokes on you i'm also excellent at punching i just know that inej would prefer to go out for wafflesWYLAN: @MATTHIAS do you also feel cheated on or is that just meMATTHIAS: not just you wylanJESPER: alr matty im at the drywalls what now???MATTHIAS: past the broken one, right at the pile of rodent corpses.JESPER: right gotcha thx
JESPER: btw just to confirn my earlier statement that yalls wardrobe is screwed beyond belief
JESPER: what the fuck is this
JESPER: -uploadedimage.file-MATTHIAS: thats the pile of rodent corpses
MATTHIAS: turn rightNINA: dont listen to him he screamed like a five year old when i pointed it out
NINA: then started blubbering in fjerdan
NINA: something abt "the shadow beast, come for him at last"HILLA: @MATTHIAS u good????MATTHIAS: im perfectly fine, thank you
MATTHIAS: nina, when you say you "pointed it out", i think you mean "squealed in terror and pointed wordlessly"NINA: oi!!MATTHIAS: she just slapped meJESPER: abuse!!
JESPER: right at the pile of corpses, now what?MATTHIAS: ten big steps and wait for me to come to youJESPER: k
JESPER: waitingINEJ: neens im coming over
INEJ: i swear to fuck he's following me
INEJ: i dont even know who that is but he looks like my ex and i've seen him three times todayNINA: i'll come meet you
NINA: we can escape into the wardrobe no one can find anyone in here
NINA: jes and matt can keep exploring together, have fun boysJESPER: ill still punch someone for you if u want!!!!INEJ: thanks, neens 🥰
INEJ: its fine, jes
INEJ: ty thoKAZ: The man following you is your ex's brother.
KAZ: I have ample information on him to make him do pretty much anything.
KAZ: He visited his brother last weekend, so I doubt this is a coincidence.
KAZ: You'll need to lose him before you go to Nina's.
KAZ: I am, however, going to speak to him, with your permission.
KAZ: Merely to mention that I know some things that could lose him all his friends and family.JESPER: 👀 what thingsINEJ: thanks for the info, kaz
INEJ: you have my permission to speak to himKAZ: Secrets have value, Jesper.
KAZ: They lose it in the sharing.JESPER: why do you get everyone's secrets, then? no fairKAZ: Maybe I'm the Chosen One.JESPER: I WANNA BE THE CHOSEN ONEEEEEINEJ: kaz, where are you?KAZ: Three stores behind him and across the road. I see you. Go into that fish and chips place.INEJ: 👍 thxKAZ: Wait for me to pass the fish and chips place, then leave. Take the longest possible route to Nina's, and don't look back.
KAZ: I'm leaving my jacket on the outside table next to the window of the fish and chips place. Put it on when you leave.INEJ: got it. I see you.
INEJ: he's loitering outside the fish and chips place
INEJ: he's looking directly at me kaz im panickingKAZ: Go order something. If you're talking to other people, it may help him hurry along.
KAZ: There's money in my jacket pocket if you'd like to actually take some chips to Nina's.INEJ: k
INEJ: nina what kind of sauce do u want for chips?NINA: literally any idc hurry up and get hereINEJ: kaz has got him dw neens
INEJ: also kaz remember you're just talking to him
INEJ: i'll take care of him properly myself
INEJ: tomorrowKAZ: 👍 Just talking.
KAZ: Dropping the jacket now.JESPER: it is honestly uncanny to watch kaz use emojis and perfect punctuation in the same text message
JESPER: just whyNINA: kaz just be like thatJESPER: he do be like thatINEJ: alr nina im omwNINA: see you soon bae 😘😘
NINA: u bringing chips?INEJ: yup
INEJ: it's either extraordinarily quick service or i stole someone's order
INEJ: either way i tipped well
INEJ: thanks for the cash KazKAZ: You're welcome, Inej.
KAZ: He's been scared off - will you know how to find him tomorrow?INEJ: i'll talk to RoederKAZ: 👍JESPER: ninaaaaaaa
JESPER: i've lost matthias
JESPER: it's fucking dark in hereMATTHIAS: languageNINA: well find him then this aint my problemJESPER: matty where u atMATTHIAS: i do not know
MATTHIAS: if i yell can you come find meJESPER: aww is the shadow beast coming?MATTHIAS: jesper! can you just answer a simple question?JESPER: hmm let me think
JESPER: is the shadow beast behind youuuuuuu?MATTHIAS: nina help me pleaseNINA: you boys are on your own figure it out
NINA: jesper stop scaring himWYLAN: jes dont be an assholeJESPER: i am offendedMATTHIAS: jesper, i'm going to call you. can you please come find me?JESPER: yea fineNINA: how u doing, nej? You close?INEJ: nearly thereHILLA: yall look at the place we're at for lunch
HILLA: -uploadedimage.file-
HILLA: -uploadedimage.file-
HILLA: -uploadedimage.file-NINA: holy crap that's gorgeous where are you???HILLA: it's called the Fallen Fruits cafe up north
HILLA: i've been here before and the food is amazing too
HILLA: the name does just make me think of the Lorde song thoNINA: wait so ur literally BEHIND A WATERFALL?????INEJ: yeah i love that song! Do you listen to lorde much hilla?WYLAN: yup
WYLAN: -uploadedimage.file-HILLA: yah second fav artist ✨️JESPER: 🤯 HOLY SHIT THAT PLACE LOOKS SO COOL 😱😱😱HILLA: I KNOWWWWWWINEJ: ooh nice
INEJ: im not super into her music but i do like the most recent albumHILLA: solar power, yeah
HILLA: thats actually probably my least fav of her albums
HILLA: i really like pure heroineINEJ: i dont think i've actually really listened to that oneHILLA: ive got the whole album on my playlistINEJ: wow, that's impressiveHILLA: tbh i probably have about six whole albums on my playlistINEJ: which ones?HILLA: KIDS, KIDS (ATM), VANDALIST, VANDALIST (AATM), Pure Heroine, Melodrama, and also like half of both Solar Power and Off the Radar.
HILLA: they're all either Noga Erez or Lorde
HILLA: i have my tastes.INEJ: thats very fairJESPER: alright nerds take it off the chat
JESPER: btw i listened to ur song Hilla
JESPER: addicted by bliss n eso
JESPER: i like it idk why ur fam didntWYLAN: jesper how could you
WYLAN: whoops gotta goJESPER: okay??? bye???INEJ: nina i came through the window, sorry
INEJ: -uploadedimage.file-
INEJ: thanks for waiting for me at the door 💕NINA: nej!!MATTHIAS: nina, please tell jesper to stop scaring meNINA: jesper stop scaring matthias
NINA: how's your exploration of the wardrobe going, boys?JESPER: very good
JESPER: ive started a map on my phone but I think i need wylan's help to make a proper map
JESPER: we should set a date where we all go and explore nina and matthias's wardrobeMATTHIAS: i think notJESPER: why?? Cmon itd be fun. Y r u allergic to fun matty?MATTHIAS: this does not constitue funJESPER: whatever itd be fun for me and also i need wylan to help me make a map. Plus inej would love this i think
JESPER: wait inej is here im coming my loveMATTHIAS: jesper just left me someone helpINEJ: @MATTHIAS do you know how to use your phone torch?MATTHIAS: no? My phone has a torch?INEJ: yes, it does. Swipe down from the top of the screen and tap the little torch icon.MATTHIAS: inej, you are without doubt a lifesaver.JESPER: wait, Matthias was really just tumbling around by himself in the dark???
JESPER: respect, i guess
JESPER: you lose points for not knowing about the phone torch butNINA: points in what, jes?JESPER: im judging whether he's worthy of you, darlingNINA: i'd threaten to do the same to ur bf but the fact is that it's you that's not worthy of himKAZ: shots firedJESPER: pew pew
JESPER: nina i have been taken out
JESPER: nina you can stop shooting now im dead
JESPER: nina you have murdered meNINA: soz babe 😘😘JESPER: i see the light!!KAZ: i though you were already dead?JESPER: no, the exit!! I found the way out of spooky dead-rat narnia!!!!NINA: congratsMATTHIAS: im still stuck in here guys
MATTHIAS: guys helpINEJ: jesper go back for matthiasJESPER: but im coming to you, my love!INEJ: jesper, go back for matthiasJESPER: fineHILLA: hey we're back
HILLA: mum told us to quit texting and eat lunch
HILLA: but we're back in the car now
HILLA: for like five minutesWYLAN: @JESPER i'm happy to help you make a map at some point, sounds like fun
WYLAN: btw u r always good enough for me jes 🥰HILLA: do i get to come wardrobe-exploring too?MATTHIAS: jesper i can hear you sneaking around if you try to scare me again i swear to djel i will punch youJESPER: matthias wdym im nowhere near you yet
JESPER: @WYLAN thx bbg 😘😘MATTHIAS: what
MATTHIAS: jesper. whatNINA: @HILLA ofc u get to come wardrobe exploring as well, I said i'd invite all of us didnt i??
NINA: even kaz gets to comeHILLA: jesper wtf did u do he's blushing redder than a fucking tomatoNINA: @MATTHIAS use ur phone torch and go see what it is im curious 👀HILLA: -uploadedimage.file-
HILLA: i have learned things about my brother that no sibling should ever know
HILLA: yayyyyyy tnx nina 😄MATTHIAS: absolutely not im running in the other direction
MATTHIAS: i just tripped over the pile of rat corpses send helpNINA: sending jesper. Jesper, go!JESPER: multiple interesting developments
JESPER: @MATTHIAS omw
JESPER: @WYLAN babygirl?? 😘😘MATTHIAS: hurryHILLA: DAM
HILLA: I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE FOR A HUMAN TO BLUSH THIS HARD
HILLA: DO IT AGAIN I WANNA SEE IF HE EXPLODESNINA: this is hilariousJESPER: no, sorry, i can't explode him yet - i need to use this trick later 😉HILLA: oop-
HILLA: more things no sibling should ever knowJESPER: -uploadedimage.file-
JESPER: matthias, it was a rat
JESPER: and in running from it, you tripped on the piled bodies of its siblings.
JESPER: for shameMATTHIAS: rats are still scaryJESPER: bruhMATTHIAS: anndilhahahvrvh
MATTHIAS: and im sure the rat corpses didn't mindNINA: 🤯
NINA: did matthias just exhibit humorMATTHIAS: wouldnt u like to knowINEJ: im calling it. Jes stole his phoneMATTHIAS: dammit, you got me
MATTHIAS: thank you very much, jesperJESPER: 🤷🏿♂️ ur welcome mattyNINA: alr can yall get out of my gd wardrobe alreadyJESPER: 🫡 on our wayWYLAN: @JESPER that was highly inappropriateJESPER: yk what else is inappropriate 🤪WYLAN: no. Do not.JESPER: kk bbg 💖HILLA: love how wylan had only just regained the capacity for speech and jesper instantly took him out again
HILLA: one hit KO but its just the specific pet name from his bf that makes my brother unable to function like a humanJESPER: stop im flatteredHILLA: haha
HILLA: we're going on a bushwalk now so ttyl yall
HILLA: ill send pics (if u want)NINA: yassss ofc we want pics have fun!!!!
NINA: -uploadedimage.file-
NINA: why do the boys look like they've spent three years underground eating nothing but rat droppings???JESPER: uh, cause we have??? duhNINA: right of course how silly of me to not realiseJESPER: yes very silly of uNINA: rudeJESPER: you said it first!INEJ: you guys are standing right next to eachother stop textingJESPER: kk later yall ✨️NINA: byeeeeee 😘😘