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"I think i'm gonna take off." is the last thing she said. after she said goodbye to everyone, except Monica."huh?" she muttered, as Rachel thanked everybody for the party. she really had no idea what to do.
don't I deserve a goodbye? me? the one who's been with you through everything?after Rachel left, everybody was staring at Monica."I don't even get a goodbye?""lucky!" joey yelled, still emotional.***"I can't believe it. she just doesn't even say goodbye to me," Monica ranted as she paced, dumbfounded and on the verge of tears."I don't get it either," phoebe added."this just hurts so bad. I know for a fact I didn't do anything to irritate her.. why would she be so ignorant of me!?" Monica ranted as she sat down in her chair, her head in her hands."Monica;" Phoebe murmured as she patted monica's back. "if this hurts you that much, than you should go talk to her. she's your best friend."right. just her best friend.it pained Monica every time somebody called them that.deep down, Monica longed for more from her. but that couldn't happen. because 1) she was going to Paris after all, and 2) she's straight. she would never love Monica."I should," she mumbled before she took a deep breath and walked over to rachel and joey's apartment."so this is it?" rachel heard her say, voice trembling with anger and sadness. "i don't get a goodbye?""what?" Rachel questioned."me, your best friend, and you don't even say goodbye? you would think, after all we've been through together, you would think about at least saying goodbye to me. but apparently not. I hope you're happy in Paris, rachel," she uttered, and closed the door before Rachel could speak.
I can't believe you could do this to me. do you know how much this hurts?
"Monica.." rachel murmured after a moment of silence.***Monica was sitting on the couch watching TV, thinking about what happened with Rachel. she was still angry that Rachel couldn't have even said goodbye to her. she was just about to fall asleep when she heard the door burst open, and she heard an angry but familiar voice."you really think I didn't say goodbye to you because I don't care about you?" she interrogated as Monica stood up to face her."well, that is what it seemed like!" don't you care about me like I care about you!?"oh, my God. I cannot believe that you're my best friend and you do not know one thing about me!""well then, why didn't you say goodbye?!" Monica asked."oh, Monica, can't you understand how hard it would be? I can't even begin to explain how much i'm gonna miss you, Mon! it's just that I feel like.." she exclaimed tiredly, as her eyes fell to the floor in confusion."what. you feel like what?" you're being impossible."Monica, I l-love you. I feel like I might love you.""well, I love you, too. but don't you love everyone?""no, Monica!" she yelled, tears welling in her eyes. "I think I love you!!"Monica stood, dumbfounded as rachel wiped her eyes in shame.
rachel loves me, too..?
"ray-ray," Monica whispered under her breath. "no, don't." Rachel interrupted. "I don't need your pity. I know there's no way you could like me back."
of course I do, you idiot! oh, my God!
but Monica didn't say anything. she just gripped Rachel's face and kissed her. passionately. enough so to tell Rachel that she couldn't be more wrong. Monica did love her. she always had.
***Rachel slowly began to put on her shoes when suddenly, Monica appeared from under the covers with rachel's shirt on. "um, hi."
"hi." Rachel smiled at her.
"I can't believe this," Monica giggled.
"me either, but I still have to go home." Rachel muttered. "so, you and chandler ended on good terms, right?" she questioned as she finished getting dressed.
"of course we did, we're still pretty good friends. don't know how he's gonna react to this, though." Monica thought. "hey, what about you and ross?"
"oh," Rachel groaned. "I know for a fact he's gonna freak out. I mean, me and his sister?" she mused before Monica chuckled slightly and pulled rachel's face down for another kiss.
***"Phoebe," Monica muttered as she ran into the coffee shop where she was sitting. "oh?" she asked, "did it go okay with rachel?"
"yeah," Monica beamed with such a bright smile that phoebe smiled too. "what's that smile? it looks like something really good happened--"
"oh, we kissed, we kissed, we kissed we kissed!!" Monica yelled at she collapsed into phoebe's arms.
"oh my God, Monica!" Phoebe said happily. "really? I'm so happy for you, - does this mean you're dating now?" Phoebe questioned.
"well, I don't know... but she did tell me that she loved me, like, love-loved me, so, I think so." she explained, blushing and giggling at her juvenile words.
"oh, does this mean that she isn't gonna go to Paris?" phoebe asked.
fuck.
I hope not.
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"I hadn't thought of that," Monica trailed off."if she really does love you" Phoebe tried, "maybe she'll reconsider."Rachel walked in, and Monica fixed her posture and went to smile at the blonde."hey," Rachel muttered at the two girls."hey." Monica echoed. "hey, Phoebe, do you think you could give us a minute?" she asked, and Phoebe nodded and went to walk out of the store."I swear, last night was just amazing. it's like this is all I ever wanted," Monica giggled."I know, it was," Rachel agreed before she went in to kiss Monica. "it was the perfect way to say goodbye."
goodbye?
she was leaving."huh?" Monica softly added as Rachel walked off. she said it so softly that Rachel didn't hear her.***"oh, Phoebe, I don't know what to do," Monica worried. "I don't want her to leave, but this is her dream!""Mon, I'm so sorry," Phoebe sighed from the couch in monica's apartment. "I think you should tell her what you want. tell her you want a life with her! because I know you do. you have for as long as i've known you.""Phoebe, I can't do that. that'll make things even more complicated for her.""but you love her," Phoebe continued. "and I want to see this work out for you two. I'll come with you if you need support."Monica let out a deep sigh, wiping her teary eyes. "maybe you're right, phoebe. I should at least tell her how I feel.""yes!" Phoebe exclaimed. Rachel walked in before she could say anything else. she fell silent and analyzed the two."well," Rachel began as she dragged a black suitcase behind her. "I've got to take off soon. I'm gonna miss you, Mon.""yeah, I'll miss you too," monica muttered as she stared at rachel's lips. she could still remember what they felt like against hers.
don't go. please.
Rachel moved in to hug Monica. the hug lasted a bit longer than it was supposed to, and she could tell that neither of them were willing to let go that quickly.
I love you. please don't go.
"I've got to go to be able to catch the flight. I love you both." rachel sighed, as she looked around the room. Monica could still remember what it was like to see rachel's empty bedroom for the first time. she could've burst into tears. she wanted her. she wanted her Rachel. she wanted to be with her forever.
stay.
but she fell silent. she didn't say anything, though she could feel Phoebe staring a hole through her. tell her!but she didn't.the door shut and Rachel was gone."oh," Monica groaned before burying her face in her hands and started crying. Phoebe didn't ask why she didn't confess, she just silently comforted her. she knew that was what she needed then. Monica watched the door, silently begging her lover to come back. but she didn't."Phoebs," Monica uttered after a while, in a voice that hadn't fully recovered yet."yeah?" she prompted, rubbing her thumb on monica's shoulder."I wanna go with her."
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"I'm sorry?" phoebe muttered. "I think I misheard you.""no," Monica stated. "I want to go with her. she's never gonna get another opportunity like this again, and I wanna do it with her," she smiled up at Phoebe, who looked surprised, to say the least."so.. you're just gonna be moving away?" phoebe asked. Monica felt butterflies in her stomach. "yeah. is that okay?""well, Monica, you know how much we're all gonna miss you," Phoebe prompted, as she locked eyes with the girl."I do," she said. "but I need to do this. I can't live without Rachel, Phoebe," Monica said, tears welling up in her eyes.Phoebe looked into her eyes. the moment felt oddly intense, and she couldn't tell whether she was approving of this or not."Monica," she began, "if you're gonna catch that plane, we need to hurry." is all she said, a small smile growing on her face.Monica lit up. "really!? you're okay with it?""Mon, who am I to get in the way of this? this is what was meant to happen, it's obvious. look at you, you're glowing," Phoebe said."thank you," Monica grinned."well, do you want me to help you pack?" she asked. Monica nodded. ***"Phoebe! could you go a little slower, please!?" Monica yelped from the passenger seat, as Phoebe fixedly stared at the road. "do you want this to work out or not!?" she yelled back."phoebs, at this point, my luggage is gonna be flying everywhere if you keep going this fast," she huffed."look, I'm sorry, but we have to hurry if you wanna catch Rachel!""i'll probably die first!!" Monica yelled exasperatedly. ***phoebe and Monica had purchased tickets, since Phoebe pointed out that they had to do so to make it past security. they were gazing at the boarding numbers, and monica's eyes were darting through them one by one."421... phoebe, do you see 421 anywhere?""no.." she answered back. "I'll just call Ross. we can explain later."Phoebe picked up her phone and held it to her ear."hello?""hi," Ross answered."look, I need rachel's flight info, do you have it?" she prompted."it says flight 421 at Newark airport... why do you need it?" Ross asked."oh, there it is!.." Monica whispered."okay, Ross, if you promise to keep this a secret, i'll tell you.""what's going on, Phoebe?" Ross tried again, getting a little more worried."monica's going to move with Rachel. they're in love, Ross," Phoebe explained, nervous about how Ross would react.Ross didn't say anything for a while."Ross? is this thing still on?""Phoebe, hurry!" Monica hissed."Phoebe, tell Monica to come home so we can sort this out." he demanded."what?- no, Ross, we can't. rachel's about to leave.""I don't care, we need to have a talk before any decisions like these are made!""Phoebe, what is going on!?"Phoebe covered the phone and leaned over to Monica."Ross wants you to come home.""what?- no!" Monica yelped.Phoebe held her ear back up to the phone."monica's not coming home. she is in love! and if you won't accept that, that is your fucking problem, Ross!" Phoebe yelled before hanging up the phone."Phoebe, thank you so much," Monica muttered."yeah, move! we're gonna miss the plane!"as phoebe was speaking, she saw a familiar blonde head making its way through the crowd. she knew the time to act was then."RACHEL!" she yelled, and Monica flinched."RACHEL! they both tried again, and she turned around as Monica dashed through the crowd to meet the girl again."Rachel, I'm sorry this was so sudden.""mon, my flight leaves in 20 minutes." she said, checking her watch. "what was so important that you had to--""Rachel Greene, I love you more than anything. I want to come with you to Paris. if you're okay with it."Rachel just looked at her. she had no idea what to say in that moment."Monica.. I had no idea that you would actually love me. and want to be with me like this," she muttered, her eyes sparkling as she gazed at her friend."i...""I think... I need a little while to sort things out. i-i'm sorry." she stammered before turning and running off, to monica's dismay."rachel, no!" Monica yelled, her voice breaking as Phoebe stood back, unsure of what to do."I love you!"she yelled with all her might, but Rachel couldn't hear her. or maybe she chose not to hear her. she didn't know.
I do. I've loved you since we met. how could you do this to me?
***rachel was sitting on her bed, in the hotel room. she thought about everything Monica told her, and all the color rushed to her face. she did love Monica. but she was just so scared. how would her parents react? how would monica's family react? and how would their friends react? Rachel laid down on her bed. she didn't know. besides, she could always just call Monica if she decided. right?Rachel squeezed her eyes shut as a few tears fell from her face and onto the bedding. she made a mistake. an irreversible mistake. she should've told Monica she loved her too.Rachel heard a frantic knock on her door. she stood up and wiped the tears and ruined eyeliner from her face and chin. she slowly walked over to the door and opened it, and before she could comprehend what was happening, she felt a familiar figure leap into her arms and kiss her with such force that it knocked her back onto the bed. she didn't have to open her eyes to know who. the feeling of her body, the smell of her perfume. it was Monica. this was who she was supposed to be with. she knew it then.there was only a single moment, when she let go just to whisper. "Ray. I love you."at first, the kiss was unable to let go from, even more intense than the night before, and when they finally pulled away, neither of them could open their eyes for a second."heard you the first time. I love you, too," Rachel whispered. "I always have."Rachel wiped the tears from monica's eyes before she settled her head on her shoulder. slowly rocking back and forth, they both felt content in each other's arms."I just needed to hear you say it," Monica breathed. "and I would be okay.""are your bags with you?" Rachel softly asked. "or did you fly here on impulse?""yeah, they're still in the car," Monica answered. "I just needed to see you first."Monica lifted her head up, and they gazed into each other's eyes."so, do you want to do this together?" Monica asked."wouldn't trade this for the world, Mon.""good."Ross would get over it. all their other friends would be happy for them. it would work out. because on the contrary to protests, that was where Rachel and Monica were supposed to be, and they knew it. Rachel was happy in Paris, and Monica was happy wherever Rachel was.