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Sirius awakes, ice cold, from another dream. Normally his dreams fade fast until only the vaguest impressions of shapes and colours remain, but these dreams are always vivid, remaining branded behind his eyes long after he has woken up. Even two years after he escaped, Azkaban still gives him nightmares. The Dementors, tall and cloaked, with their scabbed hands, the never-ending cold...‘Sirius?’ says a voice.The careworn face above him is better than a thousand Patronuses.‘Remus,’ Sirius replies.There is a pause.‘Well, come on, get in,’ says Sirius, throwing back the covers. Remus chuckles, then climbs into bed next to Sirius.The first time they had kissed after being reunited it had been awkward, both of them wishing it could have happened in the heat of the moment back in the shack, and both of them thinking that maybe their mouths might not fit together in the way they used to after all their years apart.Sirius puts his hand to Remus’s cheek and presses his mouth to his.
The morning after the full moon, April 1976. The earliest rays of morning sun had been filtering through the slats of the shack when Remus had sat up, skin tender, clothes torn. Sirius stirred beside him, and smiled as Remus drifted into focus. How can he smile at me like that, Remus thought, when he’s seen what I am? Then Sirius’s lips were on his, and the kiss was new and sweet and felt right in a way that took them both a long time to understand. And then before Remus knew it, Sirius was gone, leaving Remus with a head full of questions and a fast-beating heart.
But now Remus is constantly aware that they are not the boys they used to be. He knows his hair is greying and his face is lined, and even with Snape’s potion making his transformations easier than they used to be in his Hogwarts days, he finds it harder and harder to recover afterwards. Sirius has changed, too. His eyes are not as hollow as they had been when they saw each other for the first time after Sirius’s escape, but Remus can still see the shadow of Azkaban on his face.Sirius is kissing his neck now, and now moving lower, to Remus’s collarbones. Remus takes the hint and removes his shirt.Remus had slept with other people after Sirius had gone. In front of all he had felt uncomfortable about his scars. There were a couple on his face, of course, but it was always with trepidation that he revealed his chest, slashed as it was with a thousand marks, some thick and deep, some gossamer thin and silvery. One of his nipples had been half torn off and the skin around it was still puckered. There was a patch on his left side that had been scarred so many times that it was just a square few inches of rough, pale skin. Some people had clearly been repulsed and weren’t sure where to look. Others had had a kind of fascination with them that put Remus on edge. Sirius had always known exactly how to treat them. He knew that they were just another part of Remus’s body, but one that Remus would never be entirely comfortable with. He knew how to make Remus feel that they were being healed far more than dittany ever did. Sirius had scars of his own, after all. Mental ones, but they were there, and they were even older than Remus’s.Sirius shifts and Remus becomes aware of something hard pressing into his thigh. Smiling slightly, he reaches down and starts to stroke Sirius through his underpants, becoming increasingly harder himself hearing Sirius’s breath start to quicken.‘Remus – suck me?’ Pulling off his underwear, Sirius lies back against the cushions. Remus grasps his hips, and licks the head of Sirius’s cock, enjoying watching him, excruciatingly, exquisitely aroused, and trembling beneath him. Finally he takes Sirius’s cock in his mouth and Sirius pants and gasps, and, if possible grows even harder, surely about to come soon.Remus stops. ‘I want to fuck you,’ he says, ‘while you’re...like that.’Sirius reaches for the lube in the bedside table draw, and presses it into Remus’s hand. Remus puts some on his finger and eases it into Sirius’s arsehole, adding two, three, four fingers as Sirius relaxes.‘That’s one thing we never did,’ he says.‘Fisting?’ Sirius says, and laughs, a little too loudly. ‘Oh shit,’ he says, ‘we’ll wake James!’Remus looks at him.‘Harry,’ Sirius says. ‘I meant... He’s asleep in the next room.’‘I know,’ says Remus.‘I’m not,’ he stops. ‘I’m alright; you do know that, don’t you?’‘Of course,’ Remus begins.‘I think that Molly might think I’m...’‘I know,’ says Remus. He becomes aware that his fingers are still in Sirius’s arse. He sighs. ‘Look, we can do this another time...’‘God, Remus, we’re not going to stop because of that,’ Sirius replies. ‘I mean – only if you want to carry on. Whatever you want.’Remus looks at him, ‘Ok,’ he chuckles. ‘Don’t stop for anything, that’s us.’‘Remember that time when we were doing it in the changing room showers and the team came back and almost saw us?’ Sirius asks.‘I think some of them did see us’ he laughs. ‘Prongs was so pissed off – though more about us having missed his spectacular win than anything else.’ They lapse into silent laughter.‘Come on then,’ says Sirius, lying back. ‘Are you going to fuck me into next week or not?’Remus takes his own cock out, stroking it a couple of times to get it coated in lube, and then pushes it slowly into Sirius’s arse.Sirius closes his eyes in pleasure, and Remus sees his cock harden and darken even more, and it presses against the bottom of his stomach. Remus speeds up, and Sirius moans, lifting up his hips and thrusting himself around Remus’s cock.‘Fuck – oh,’ he says.Remus fucks him even harder. Sirius is so tight, and seeing him hot and begging for Remus’s dick is something he thinks he will never get tired of. Remus shifts his cock a little, and Sirius cries out as Remus hits his prostate. He reaches for Sirius’s cock, and it only takes a few strokes before they are both coming.Later, when they have cleaned up, Remus asks, ‘Do you remember our first time?’‘Oh, god yeah,’ Sirius replies. ‘I gave you a handjob back in...when was it? Fourth year?’‘Was that really our first time?’ Remus asks.‘Yeah, because it was that time when we were constantly annoyed at each other. Always at each other’s throats over the slightest thing. James said we had to cut it out, so I thought we should wank each other off to break the tension.’‘That was never the reason!’‘It was! Well. It was my reason anyway.’‘And all this time I thought you harboured an undying passion for me...’Sirius laughs. ‘Nobhead.’‘Dickface.’
Fin.