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As a general rule, Asagao Academy emptied out quickly and completely as students ran screaming to the hills for summer break. The school had dorms available all year round, but very few students actually chose to remain in their prison. Mai Sasaki would normally be right there in the middle of the proverbial stampede alongside them, but instead she was sitting on her roommate, Hana’s bed, watching her pack her few possessions up. Hana was fluttering around like a hummingbird on Blue Cow energy drinks, fretting over what she should take home or keep at the Academy. Mai was pleased to see that while Hana’s uniforms were staying, her Normal Boots Club jacket was not. Infamously painful Japanese summer heat be damned! “Are you sure you’ll be okay here by yourself, Mai?” Hana held her Mr. Bunny to her chest, running her thumbs nervously over his soft, well-loved ears. “I mean it’s nothing much but you can come to my house…” “Hana, you worry too much! I’ll be totally fine, maybe I’ll even get to have my own side-character arc!” Mai grinned, effervescent as always. “Though of course it’ll probably just be a filler arc that everyone hates but at least it’s content, dammit!” “Uh…huh?” “Anyway,” Mai leaned in with a lascivious grin, “won’t your home be a bit busy already? Not that I’m opposed to threesomes, mind you.”“MAI!” Hana shrieked and tossed Mr. Bunny at her best friend’s face in a wave of utter fluster with just a drop of righteous indignation for flavor. Her face burned like a Christmas tree light, and her arms were flailing fast enough it was a wonder she didn’t take flight.“I’m not hearing a no,” the redhead sing-songed.“He will NOT be staying over….long. Just…a weekend…” Hana’s embarrassment melted away from the radiance of her shy smile. “He wants to…meet my parents…”Mai leaned back, giggling, squee-ing, and kicking her feet.“THAT IS SO CUTE! Oh my god you two are gonna get married before you even come back for your next year! You better invite me to the wedding!!”“MAIIIIIII!”Mai waved her hands in front of her, surrendering before Hana found something else to throw, and because she was losing the ability to breathe from the diabetic coma Hana’s love life induced. Hana tried her best grumpy frown, which was about as effective as a pouting cupcake, really, but it didn’t last long as she lowered herself into her desk chair, facing her friend. The worry was back in control.“Mai…”“Really, Hana,” Mai smiled. “It’s fine. My parents are really busy, and I’ll have the whole run of the school basically. Do you know how much cake I’m going to eat? All of it. The answer is all of it. And there’s the beach, and of course the volleyball court for some solo practice, it’s going to be a fun summer. Don’t worry so much about me, huh? Worry about not worrying, instead!”Hana stared at her, hard, for once the expression sharp and specific as she looked past Mai’s green eyes and deeper inside of her mind. Mai could practically feel the blade of Hana’s social anxieties poking around her brain, looking for weak spots. Apparently finding nothing, well, nothing that wasn’t already well documented between them and needed no further review if Mai had anything to say about the matter, Hana nodded and resumed her packing.There were hugs, and tears shed-mostly Hana’s-and promises to text and call like every day. Mai waved as Hana left the room. She crossed her arms over her middle and watched the little bobbing mop of pink from the window as it left the dorm and went down the path towards the train station along with everyone else. Mimi and Kakusu. PBG, Jared.There were the Continue? guys, shoving and wrestling as they walked. Hidden Block, Jirard, Satch, Jon and Jacques.Mai’s eyes narrowed as she scanned the crowd for buzzed, blond hair and a green and grey jacket. Shane was nowhere to be seen. Well, given his stoic nature, it wasn’t really all that surprising that he had set out before everyone else. Eager to get back to his home country, Mai supposed. It wasn’t as though, after the huge mess that was this school year, she was particularly sad to see him go. Even after the library books had been returned, and Satch was clearly happier out of the rule of the maniacal librarian bitch, and The Boots were safely back on their altar, Shane had been unwelcoming.The Normal Boots Club had allowed Mai a type of provisional membership. She could join them for hanging out in the club room, or weekend casual tournaments in someone’s dorm room, but serious club business, or strategy meetings, were off limits. And that was fine, Mai kept busy with her own schoolwork and running the Volleyball team. More than a chance to ogle Jared and bask in the glow of the hallowed jackets, as she would have seen it less than a year ago, now it was an opportunity to hang out with her good friends, her best friend, and goof off with video games. They didn’t even mind that she was loud, or talkative, or…well, the word blunt came up a lot. Hisses of “tactless,” posh English accent flying high, usually followed it from the opposite side of the room.The boys, and Hana, knew Mai’s greatest secret, and most of them did not judge her for it. It was impossible for Mai to see how they couldn’t, she knew deep down they must all be disgusted and distrustful of her, who wouldn’t be? It was nice to pretend, at least. Shane, though…Shane made it a point to slowly, deliberately place himself between Mai and the closet where The Boots were kept whenever she was near the club room. Shane’s normal expression sharpened into something both superior and dismissive. The tension in the room was tangible, like a giant, clinically diagnosed, pink elephant plopped right in the space between the two of them. Mai wasn’t the type to take it sitting down, but with Hana’s relationship and membership still new and on shaky newborn foal legs, Mai tended to ignore it rather than address it. The occasional sneer of “what the fuck are you looking at” only ever sent the two off into a long string of swearing matches that invariably ended with the club split to separate them and Hana rushing Mai off to their room to cool down. It was frustrating, humiliating, depressing, and just…hurtful.It was why Mai never told anyone. Because everything changed when you told people you were sick. Nothing ever changed quite so much as telling them you were a Kleptomaniac. The accusing looks that flitted across everyone’s face, throughout the course of the missing books debacle, even Hana’s…Nothing was ever the same after you told people you were sick.Mai’s left fingers blindly followed their familiar path over to her right wrist, finding the tight rubber band hair tie snugly around it. They plucked the band up, turning it until the cool metal connecting piece rested between them, then snapped it against her skin. The bite of pain was enough to dredge her thoughts up from the miasma of anxiety that thinking about Shane, the books, her illness, or anyone’s knowledge of it, led to.No more episodes for her. Mai wouldn’t let it happen again. She had it under control.Silent tears made their way down her face as she turned away and closed the blinds. Teeth worried and bit at a wobbling, unstable lower lip as she climbed up the ladder into her bunk. Shaking overtook her hands and shoulders as she curled up tightly under the blankets and held herself together.She had it under control.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The first couple of days weren’t so bad. Mai was back to her bouncy self after an evening of sleeping, binge watching violent anime starring pretty boys, and more sleeping. She went down to the cafeteria and found she had her choice of tables. The lunch service was greatly reduced options, but hey, sandwiches were good too. She could always hit Higanbana if she was feeling something in particular. She hesitated to leave the school though. Even with her pick of the tables, she chose to take up her usual spot at the Normal Boots table. It wasn’t like there were dozens of people there to see, or even that her friends were seated around her either, but if her communication classes were to be believed it had to do with territoriality and habit. Not that she had been particularly attentive. Still, she felt good sitting here.Until she heard someone pick up a tray from the lunch line. She turned her head and saw the green jacket first, the shoe patch, and felt herself smile in surprise, until her mind caught up with her eyes, which had met up with cold blue eyes and a thin line of a mouth.Shane.The blonde Boots member was making his way through the gauntlet of food options, his head down and his face pinched in annoyance. Every few seconds he rolled his shoulders, his anger broadcasting like sirens over the silent lunchroom. Mai could feel all of it pointed directly at her. Still, as Shane stood next to the table, just looking down at her, she refused to give in to it. “Shane.”“Ms. Sasaki.”Oh it was Dead Seas levels of salt standing beside her. She hadn’t even known Shane knew her last name, but damn if she didn’t hate the sound of him saying it.“Don’t you think you should be sitting somewhere else?” He looked around at the empty cafeteria for emphasis.Mai snorted. “I could ask you the same.”“I’M a member.”“Membership hardly matters if no one’s here to see it.”“Look—”“I’m not moving.” Mai looked up at him, her voice firm. Hana wasn’t here; she didn’t have to play as nice. “Sit here or don’t, I don’t care, but this is where I’ll be every day for the whole summer break for lunch.”She took an emphatic bite of her sandwich without turning her eyes away, and chewed slowly. Shane clenched his teeth; his hands white knuckled on his tray, and sat down in his usual seat with a bit more clatter and a lot less grace than usual. The two ate in silence, entering into a cold war. Mai had already been halfway through her sandwich when he came, but now neither was willing to abandon their position at the table. Mai was a fast eater-always had been-and Shane was methodical. He had more food, and like a chess master he was plotting the long game. Mai, however, had an ace up her sleeve. When she’d finished her meal she simply reached into her backpack and pulled out a book. She’d been meaning to read it anyway and even intended to hang out and read around the campus somewhere. Why not here where she could make a point at the same time?“Ms. Mai Sasaki please come to the principal’s office this instant!” The voice over the intercom was slightly garbled, more so due to the person behind it and not the speakers themselves.The redhead’s eyes narrowed as she looked up to find Shane looking at her with a hint of smirk on his face. What she wouldn’t give to just reach out and—She gathered up her bag, book, and tray and stood up, glowering at Shane as she did. She started to walk by on her way to dump her tray.“I hope they nailed everything down first.”Mai felt her blood run cold, her body freezing in place. She slowly turned her head, eyes wide and mouth thin. Shane was just looking forward. Before she could stop it, seeing crimson fields, she felt her hand tighten into a fist and snap back beside her ear, a loaded shotgun.“Ms. Sasaki!”The intercom spat. Her fist hovered precariously, her teeth grinding in frustration, and she realized just how close he’d come to losing his goddamned head. She turned away and dropped her tray off, not noticing the chunk that had come away where she’d held it.Shane’s shoulders dropped, and he remembered to breathe, when he heard the door close behind her, wiping away the cold sweat that had formed on the back of his neck.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Mai pushed through the doors into the front office of the school, getting a steely look from the office woman who simply pointed to the door labeled “Principal.” The teen grabbed the knob, took a deep breath, and then stepped inside. If there was anything that she’d been expecting, it wasn’t this.“Ms. Sasaki, please, have a seat.”The man was younger, smiling easily, encouragingly, falsely, as he motioned to the seat in front of the desk he sat behind. He wasn’t the principal. No, Mai could smell them a mile away by now. This man positively reeked of psychiatrist.“Where’s the principal?” Why did this feel like some kind of weird serial killer movie all of a sudden? At least he hadn’t done the slow chair-turn reveal. She shuddered as she took a seat and looked at him, apprehension and distrust coursing through her veins.“He’s away on vacation with his family for the summer. I thought that this nice big office would be safe and private enough for us to have a chat.”It was the way they talked more than what they said. It was the cadence, that slow and soft speech pattern like they were talking to a cornered animal. They all had it. It had to be day 1 stuff in psych school. Not that what they said wasn’t also aggravating.“Do you know who I am Mai?” The man asked with a slight tilt to his head.Like she was an amnesiac.“I didn’t realize Asagao had a school psychiatrist.” She murmured through grit teeth. Her hands bunched her skirt at her knees where they lay fisted and agitated.“I’m a new hire, transplanted for the moment to Higanbana. I’ve read so much about you, Ms. Sasaki. I was hoping that we could get to know one another over the break here.” His painted on smile widened. “It’s a truly unique opportunity.”“For you.”“Now Mai…” The face tilted the other way, the fake expression unmoving.Nothing ever phased these types.“Please don’t insult me by thinking I don’t know what I have, and what value there is for research on it in the psychological community.” Mai looked him in the eyes.“I simply want to help you.”“Why are you here? Who gave you my file?” She felt the panic make her fingers tingle. She lifted a hand and rested it over the hairband on her other wrist. She felt his eyes on her hands, watching, staring holes through her, waiting? Waiting. Painful aversion therapy was well known amongst the doctors. He’d know. She refused to let him see. Like being naked under him, she felt the slimy touch of appraisal and forced her hand back to its place on her knee.He looked almost disappointed.“The school was concerned for you.”Read: about you.“There was an incident this past semester wasn’t there? We don’t want a relapse.”“I have a doctor.” Yes, yes and he was in another country, which was a perfectly safe distance for him to be at. “I’m fine.”“Ms. Sasaki. Your parents—” Mai didn’t even hear the rest of what he said. She felt everything fall apart inside of her.Shit.Shit. They knew.Of course her parents were very aware of her sickness, she’d been officially medically diagnosed, and gods knows there had been so many second opinions sought out and demanded before they’d had to accept it. She’d been doing so damned well though. She’d been trying so hard. It wasn’t like she could stop it, control it, or hell even realize it was happening but they didn’t understand that part.She’d be getting a phone call tonight. She was surprised she hadn’t already received it, honestly. Normally they kept these things locked up so tight…“—and with your mail-order prescriptions going unused—”“I have them!” She latched on to something. Something to stop the cascade, the hole lurking nearby to swallow her. “I still refill and get my prescriptions!”“But are you taking them, Mai?”“Yes. I—I do, I do.” Mai bit her lip, looking down.The man sat back in his usurped chair.“Well, I’m so glad to hear that. I think we both know just how important it can be. Are you finding them to be helpful?”She needed to calm down. She was fighting him. She knew better, you don’t argue, you don’t question. Calm down, you know this. Mai sank into the chair, her face schooled into the blank and empty state it had so much practice with. I can do this.*~*~*~*By the time she got herself out of the office it was getting late. She started her walk back to Primrose house, feeling displaced. She always did after a session. With a new doctor especially. It took so much energy to lock herself up inside, to keep them from getting in, that she was exhausted but once the walls were up she could only take them down brick by brick. It wasn’t like she enjoyed being numb.Mai let herself into her room and locked the door behind her, making her way to her desk and collapsing into her chair. She sighed, leaning forward and burying her head in her hands, her fingers tangling in her hair. Of course once she was done being numb it would all come rushing back. That was even more unpleasant than being numb. It had taken so long to get away from that man. She blamed Shane, if she hadn’t been angry already she wouldn’t have made such a rookie mistake. Talking to one of them?! Her hand reached over and plucked open the middle drawer of her desk. It dug through a dozen or so unopened, untouched prescription pill bottles and pulled out her journal. She leaned back and looked at the drawer. At the sea of orange, green, and blue reminders that she wasn’t normal.
“But are you taking them, Mai?”
“Yes. I—I do, I do.”
The theme to Dumbidoom’s Revenge began to play from her bag. Mai retrieved her cellphone from the pocket and stared at the screen for a long moment before swiping to answer it.“Hana!” Mai chirped happily as she leaned back further in her chair. She quietly shut the drawer. “I’m doing so well! Now tell me, tell me details, has he kiiiiissed you yet???”