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There's something biting him.Oikawa hadn't known it was possible to be this angry.
He is not dying like this.
But there are teeth, sharp and agonizing, carving into his leg, and he's kicking as hard as he can. He knows he makes contact, because there's a yelp, and then he's rolling to his knees and slicing clean through the - it's a dog. Was a dog. Now it's lying on the ground with Oikawa's knife in its temple.Oikawa's mouth feels like it's pulled into an almost identical snarl to the creature dying in front of him, and he yanks his knife free, but he doesn't quite make it up on his feet. He's trying, but he's still on his knees. He needs to get up, though, because more zombies will be coming. And then Kuroo's there, hauling him to his feet with an arm around him, and Oikawa lets himself be hauled, lets Kuroo drag him along until they're lying on the other side of the embankment, Kuroo hissing curses beside him and Oikawa damn near biting through his lip as Kuroo's reaches for his ruined jeans."I'm fine, I'm fine -" He's batting Kuroo away, the words grinding out between his teeth. "Iwa- where's -"Hajime doesn't quite plough into him, but it's a near thing, with how frantically he comes scrambling over the embankment, all but landing on top of them. He's pale but breathing, and Oikawa has to close his eyes, his stomach turning with the relief that's sweeping over him.He hates this. He hates this so much. They shouldn't be here.They should be in college, with Hajime grumbling and glaring at him from over a textbook.The thought builds a whimper in his throat, something cloying and awful, and he forces his eyes open, because thinking about what they'll never have isn't going to help – and then he freezes. Because Hajime's gone scarily still, like something carved from marble. He looks like all the blood has drained from his face, and Oikawa swallows, the cloying feeling in his chest pulling even tighter.“Iwa-chan...” His voice sounds terribly soft, and then he realizes where Hajime is looking. He's staring at his leg. Covered in blood and teeth marks. Clarity immediately hits, and then he's trying to scramble closer, reaching out for Hajime as he swallows bile. “No, no, it's fine, I'm not –”There's an explosion, a rain of dirt, and then Koutarou's scrambling down the bank to join them, tumbling down the dirt with Keiji and Kiyoko right behind him, a detonator still clutched in her hand as everyone comes tumbling to a halt. That's all of them, now, they're all here, they need to move – but Hajime's still staring at him like his entire world's come crumbling down, and Oikawa's blinking through tears as he yanks himself up on his knees to get closer, his aching leg be damned.“I'm fine, I swear, it's –”“... Tooru...”“It was a dog, Iwa-chan, it wasn't – I'm fine, okay?”For a terrible moment, the words must not process, because Hajime just keeps staring at him. Then, he doesn't say a word. He just sags down on his kneels and curls forward until he's leaning against Tooru, face pressed into his shoulder as he just stays there like all his strings have been cut. Oikawa's hands are shaking as he puts them on Hajime's back, able to feel how badly he's trembling, desperate shivers wracking through his entire frame.“Iwa-chan...”“We need to move.” Kuroo's voice is so rough it sounds like he's been chewing gravel, and he's scarily pale, too, as he stares at Oikawa. “I'm sorry, we need to – can you walk?”He's already moving to help, putting a hand on Oikawa's arm, and Oikawa's aware of everyone else staring at them, wide-eyed in the dim light, but Oikawa can't take his hands off Hajime.“I... I can.”He doesn't even need to say the rest, doesn't need to emphaize the I, because Kuroo's already glancing at Hajime, like he's thinking about bodily hauling him upright. Kiyoko beats him to it, climbing over Keiji's legs to gently nudge Hajime's face up with her hand, though he blinks at her like he's not quite seeing her.“If you want to get him home alive, you need to start walking.”It's soft, but with no give to it, no room for arguing, in that way that she's gotten so good at, and Hajime only stares for a second longer before he turns his eyes back to Oikawa.He's still staring at him like he's not really seeing him, through, and Oikawa forces a grin - it feels horrible, fake and pasted across his face - as he drags himself to his feet and tugs Hajime up with him, pulling on his hands until Hajime gets the message and lets himself be tugged upright. Behind Oikawa, Koutaro has a hand on his back, like he's expecting them to fall, but Hajime swallows, wavering on his feet but managing to stay upright, and that's all it takes to have Oikawa stepping closer and wrapping an arm around his waist, keeping his knife clutched in his other hand. He's not sure who's carrying who, but maybe it will be enough to get them all home.- - -Hajime's still moving like a sleepwalker by the time Tooru gets him into the shower.They'd made it back, and Hajime had sat by his side while Kenma had carefully and methodically cleaned and bandaged Tooru's leg, his hands only slightly shaky as Ukai had walked him through what to do. With Kenma's smarts, if he can just get over his squeamishness, Ukai might be able to make a damn good medic out of him.But Tooru's not thinking about that now. Because Hajime's just standing there and letting him strip him without a word – he hasn't said anything, yet, since they made it back to base – and Tooru turns the water as hot as he can get it, and then drops all of their clothes in a pile on the floor. It's their month for a room that comes with its own shower, and nobody's going to care if he makes a mess.Besides. He has more important things to worry about. Mainly that Hajime is the one who never falls apart. He gets sad, sure, and he gets angry, and he's occasionally even curled up in Tooru's arms and bawled, in the dark where neither of them could see him – but he never gets like this.He's practically ragdoll limp in Oikawa's arms, and it's terrifying.“Iwa-chan...”“I thought I'd lost you.”The words are so soft Tooru can barely hear them. Even with how smothered together they are, even with Hajime's nose pressed against his neck as the water slams down on them, the crack in his voice nearly takes the words away completely, and Tooru tightens his grip around him. Hajime still feels like he's going to fall over if Tooru breathes on him the wrong way, and Tooru needs to... he needs to get them clean, and then he needs to get Hajime into bed.First, though, he needs to do some damage control, here. Because this is still terrifying.“You didn't, though. And you're not going to, alright? I'm far too stubborn to die, so –”“Couldn't do this without you, you know.” It's still barely a murmur, and Hajime's still trembling, even underneath the hot water. Tooru can feel the tears stinging his eyes, even as Hajime leans in closer to him, his voice rasping against his neck. “Everyone... they always seems to think I'm the strong one, that – that I'm the one keeping you going, or something. They just keep getting it wrong, huh.”It doesn't sound like a question at all. Tooru squeezes back the tears, and then stands a bit straighter.“You are.” There's nothing he can do about the waver in his own voice. “You are strong. One of the toughest people I've ever known. Now – now let's get you clean, and out of this shower, and –”Hajime's shaking his head, though. Shaking his head and standing up a bit taller, too, straightening himself up and pulling his face out of Tooru's neck until he's actually looking at him. His hair's pressed down soaked over his head, and his eyes still look haunted, but at least he's actually looking at him, and something unknots in Tooru's stomach as he puts a hand on Hajime's cheek, his fingers pressing pale and shaky against Hajime's soaked skin.“Come on, Iwa-chan. Shower, then bed, and –”Hajime shakes his head again, and before Tooru can ask, Hajime's reaching for the soap, and then tugging Tooru closer again, though this time there seems to be a bit more strength in his limbs.“No. You... you're hurt. I'm the one who's supposed to be taking care of you, I'm –”“That – that's hardly necessary, I'm fine, just –”“Tooru.” It's not fair, the way Hajime says that, with soul-deep affection laced through the entire word; and Tooru's the one who ends up hiding this time, pressing his face into Hajime's shoulder. His heart feels like it's going to beat clean out through his ribs. “Let me do this, please. I was... less than useless today, just let me – do something, okay? I – I want –”“Whatever you want.” His own voice is getting swallowed, now, sucked away under the roar of the shower, the slam of his own heartbeat, but he needs to say this. “And you aren't useless, you were in shock, you –”“I'll keep you safe next time.”There's a shake to it, still, but there's also a promise in it, fierce and desperate, along with a finality that says Hajime that isn't going to get it, right now – that he isn't going to hear what Tooru's saying – and Tooru sighs, but he get it. If their places had been reversed, he would be livid with himself right now. And the promise in Hajime's voice is hard to argue with, making his stomach flutter in a way that's kind of difficult to deal with. He has to swallow a few times before he can find his voice.“Okay... okay, Iwa-chan. We – we can keep each other safe, then. Now can we please go to bed before we fall over?”He tries for a smile, but Hajime just spreads the soap over his hands, gently pulling Tooru closer as he starts to slide his hands all down his body, slow sweeps across Tooru's skin that are so careful it brings a new sting to his eyes. It's all he can do to hold on, standing there as Hajime slowly cleans them both up, brushing away the blood and mud and dirt until the water's finally running free again. He doesn't go near Tooru's leg - Kenma had already cleaned it, and it's wrapped in plastic, to keep the water off - but he cleans everywhere else, until he's kneeling with his face pressed into Tooru's stomach, and Tooru's knees gone all to rubber as he just holds him there, with Tooru's fingers carefully threaded through his hair. There's a twinge of interest, deep inside his gut - how could there not be, he'll want Hajime every day until he dies - but Hajime's shaking all over again, kneeling there like he can't remember how to get up, and Tooru eventually pulls him off his knees and runs his hands through his hair one last time, pressing a careful kiss to his forehead before he steps back out of the water."Come on, Iwa-chan." He's tugging him with him, and Hajime lets himself be tugged, moving like a sleepwalker again as he steps out into the cold room, and Tooru swallows a shiver as he reaches for their one towel. "Bed."Hajime doesn't argue this time. He just lets Tooru dry them both off, both of them shivering in the cold air, and then lets Tooru find them both clothes, not saying a word until they're under the blankets. The mattress sags horribly, and Tooru has a spring digging into his hip, but it doesn't fucking matter. With Hajime curling up against his chest, nothing matters more than that.It also doesn't escape Tooru's notice that Hajime's managed to rest a hand right over his heart, where Tooru's heartbeat is rabbiting underneath his skin. It has him closing his eyes again tears, and he tightens his grip around Hajime, pulling him closer against him. For a long moment, there's nothing but silence, just the sound of their unsteady beating and the muted roar of the base generators, far off below them; and then Hajime swallows, tucking forward until his cheek is resting right against Tooru's shoulder, his nose squished into the side of his neck and his breath falling hot and uneven against Tooru's neck. Tooru squeezes his eyes shut a bit tighter."Iwa-chan...""Can't lose you." It's barely audible, the words almost lost in the darkness, and Tooru swallows around the clench in his throat. "I can't, Tooru, I -""You won't." The words half choke him on the way out, and he swallows and tries again, but the I promise is still stuck, refusing to come out. Tooru's stomach is suddenly rolling with nausea. "You - you won't, you -""Okay."It's even softer than before, but it sounds like Hajime believes him, at least - like all it takes is Tooru saying it for it to be true - and Tooru sucks in a breath, hauling Hajime as close as he can get him, his heart still slamming.Maybe Tooru can make that promise, though. Maybe it won't end up being a lie. Maybe, just by saying it, he'll remind himself that dying is not an option. Not when he's got this man in his arms.If you go into a fight believing that you're going to lose, you've already lost, after all. Maybe the only way they're going to make it is if they both believe that they're going to make it."You... you're stuck with me, Iwa-chan. I - I promise."He hears the shake in his voice, his breath coming hard as he presses the words into Hajime's hair, but Hajime's already swallowing and somehow pressing closer, his fingers digging in soft against Tooru's back. For a moment, it's like they hang there, suspended like that, with the generators whirring down below them and the water still dripping loud in the bathroom, where the showerhead's slightly broken; and then Hajime sighs, his lips brushing against Tooru's neck as he tightens his grip around him, his breathing gone even shakier than before, like he's having trouble getting enough air."You... you're stuck with me, too."It's so soft and sincere it feels like a spike right through Tooru's heart - it feels like Hajime's reached into his chest and cracked him wide open - and Tooru keeps his eyes shut as he kisses Hajime's hair and tightens his grip around him, fumbling for the blanket to tug it up higher over both of them, as though he can hide them from the rest of the world. As though he can keep them right here, forever, where nothing can hurt them.Maybe he's right, though. Maybe, if they both believe that they can get through this, that will be enough.