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Castiel Novak sits at his desk, his Bluetooth headset blinking as he types away at his computer. “Mmhm,” he says softly, his hands pausing as he moves the mouse to click something. “Yes ma’am, your contract covers those possibilities… yes, even if that should occur, you would still receive compensation…” He sighs softly, rolling his eyes in the privacy of his sixteenth floor office. “Yes ma’am. No, ma’am, you’ll need to file a separate claim for that. Yes, the forms are on the website or available through the app. Yes ma’am. You’re very welcome. You have a good day. Goodbye.” He presses the button on his office phone, ending the call, and then removes the earpiece, throwing it on the desk with a heavy sigh.Leaning back in his desk chair, he brings his arms over his head to stretch, the white material of his suit shirt straining. He stands, walking out from behind his desk and going over to the wall of windows that looks out on Green Lake and the park near his company’s offices. For a moment, he allows his mind to wander back to when his father used to take him to that park, flying kites and having picnics, usually accompanied by at least one of his brothers and sisters…A soft knock at his office door brings him back to the here and now, and he straightens his plain black suit jacket as he says, “Come in.”The door opens to show a man with long, golden hair and warm brown eyes, dressed in a sharp blue suit. “Cas! How’s it going, dude?”“Gabriel,” the taller man says, smiling slightly at the nickname. “I’m fine, just finished up a call. How are you?”“Great, great.” Gabriel Chambers, co-founder of 4C Insurance and Castiel’s boss, sits himself on the edge of the desk. “So, I have a proposition.”For the second time in five minutes, Castiel rolls his eyes, turning back to the window. Periodically, Gabriel would come to him with these “propositions”, which were really just schemes to get Castiel a partner. “Thank you for the offer,” the dark-haired man says, pushing his hands into his pockets. “But I’ve told you, I have no interest in the people you set me up with.”“Oh come on, Cas! I think I’ve found the one this time, I really do.”Turning back to face his boss, he raises an eyebrow. “Gabriel, I appreciate your efforts, I really do, almost as much as I appreciate your friendship. But I’m asking you, as a friend, to please stop trying to set me up. Ever since… I just…” He shakes his head, only his bright blue eyes betraying the sadness he feels. “I’m not interested. Thank you, but no.”Gabriel frowns, but shrugs and stands again, coming over to place a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “All right, then. My apologies.” He smiles widely. “How about a drink, then? You, me, Lucifer, maybe you can even call up Anna and Michael, or Gadreel or Hannah.”Castiel shakes his head again, a sad half-smile on his face. “No, I don’t think so. I have some paperwork I’ll be working late to finish up. But thank you, sincerely.”The shorter man’s shoulders slump. “You know we’re all worried about you, right Cas? Especially after Bal--”“I’d rather not talk about it.” Castiel’s face is expressionless now, a carefully created mask. He gently but firmly shakes off Gabriel’s hand and returns to his desk, sitting down again and pulling up a claim waiting for processing.Gabriel sighs softly, watching his employee and best friend with sad eyes. “Don’t work too late,” is the last thing he says as walks out of the office, shutting the door behind him.Castiel stares at the computer screen blankly for a few minutes before pulling open the top left drawer and digging underneath old memos and notes to find a small wooden box. Carefully, slowly, he opens it and tips the contents into his hand. Two wedding bands, one small and silver, one wide and gold, clink against the ring on his fourth finger as they fall into his palm.~~~Evening is falling as Sam Winchester settles down against a tree in Green Lake Park, setting a guitar case beside him. As the setting sun gilds both the leaves and his long brown hair with gold, he tunes his guitar by ear and then settles it, strumming a few chords to double check his tuning. Then he begins to play. The song is simple, and he quickly loses himself in it, humming the words. He doesn’t notice the footsteps that approach him cautiously.“What are you playing?” The voice is deep, and slightly gruff, and Sam looks up, startled. Piercing blue eyes meet his hazel ones, and he quickly regains his composure.“More Heart, Less Attack,” he answers, a smile crossing his face. “It’s by a band called Needtobreathe.”The blue-eyed man’s head tilts, and he looks impressed. “You play it very well.”“Thank you. Would you like to hear the lyrics?” Sam knows he isn’t as good at singing as he is at playing, but something about this stranger with the dark hair makes him want to show off.“I…” the man hesitates, looking back towards the sidewalk he’d apparently come from. He absently clasps his hands, his fingers working at something. Sam glances at them, noticing a wedding band on each of the man’s ring fingers: one silver, one gold. “I would love to, but I should get home,” he finally answers, casting a sad glance back to Sam.“Some other time, then.” Sam smiles, motioning around to the park. “I’m here most days, and I’ll hang around this tree for a while if you’re interested.” The other man looks slightly skeptical, so he holds out his hand. “I’m Sam, by the way.”Slowly, the dark-haired man shakes his hand. “Castiel.”“Pleasure to meet you, Castiel.”“And you, Sam.” He begins to walk off, the tan trench coat he wears flapping in the gentle breeze.“See you around?”Castiel looks over his shoulder as he shrugs. “Maybe.” Then he’s gone, disappearing into the twilight as he walks down the sidewalk.Sam’s head is tilted curiously as he stares at the spot where Castiel was, his hands strumming absently. Then he sighs lightly and shrugs, looking up at the stars that are beginning to appear. He puts the guitar back in its case, then braces himself against the tree and stands, bending to grab the case before slinging it over his back with a grunt. Walking away from the tree and the lake, he hums the song he’d been playing, some of the words slipping through every now and then.He’s startled from thoughts of the dark-haired man in the trench coat when an old 1967 Chevrolet Impala pulls up beside him with a honk. “Sam!” The window is rolled down and a green-eyed man leans out of it. “Dude, you went to the park without your cane?”Sam rolls his eyes as he turns to the car. “Dean, c’mon. I’ve got my braces on. I’m not a kid, I don’t need big brother to watch out for me.” He raises an eyebrow. “And anyway, why are you even here? You work on the other side of town.”“I was headin’ to your place. Remember? Tonight’s poker night.”A soft groan leaves Sam as he slumps slightly. “Is it that day of the month already? Damn.”“Yeah, it is,” Dean says, raising his eyebrows. “And it’s your turn to buy the beer. So get in and let’s get goin’, Sammy.” With a sigh, the tall man gently places his guitar in the back seat of the Impala before sliding into the front seat. The engine of the Impala roars as Dean pulls away from the park, and Sam lets his thoughts wander back to the man who’d complimented his playing.Likewise, as Castiel prepares for bed, his thoughts keep wandering to the lanky, v-neck wearing man from the park. As he lays in bed, he finds himself searching Youtube for the song he’d been playing, listening to it a few times to get a feel for the lyrics. He falls asleep with the image of Sam silhouetted against the setting sun in his mind.
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The alarm on Sam’s phone goes off, the soft guitar strumming soon cut off as Sam reaches over and slides his finger across the screen. For a moment, he just lays there, staring at the ceiling as he grasps at the threads of a dream he’d been having. The stranger from the park -- Castiel, he reminds himself -- was there, and they were sitting on the rocks by the lake. He thinks that maybe the other man wasn’t wearing his suit and trench, as he’d been the night before, but the harder he tries to recall details, the more they slip away. Eventually he sighs and pushes himself up to a sitting position, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed.His expression changes as he stares down at his feet. That’s right. In the dream, he’d been unhindered by the leg braces he usually wears. With a frown, he leans down and removes the inflexible sleep braces from his feet and ankles before standing and moving over to his dresser carefully. He pulls out a set of clothes and heads for the bathroom and a hot shower.Sam walks into the kitchen to find Dean at the stove already preparing breakfast and nursing a large mug of coffee. “Toss me a banana,” Sam says as he heads to the fridge. His brother grabs the fruit from the basket beside him and, without looking, tosses it over his shoulder to Sam, who catches it in one hand absently as he opens the fridge to grab smoothie ingredients. The smell of frying bacon slowly lures out the other four people who crashed at Sam’s place after poker and drinks the night before.“Boy, you are a godsend,” Ellen Harvelle says as she walks into the kitchen and peers over Dean’s shoulder. “Anybody ever tell you that?”“Oh, once or twice,” he says, smiling widely. The dark-haired woman chuckles and gets out plates and silverware as her daughter, Jo, walks in, followed closely by a yawning Ash. The blonde young woman sidles up to Dean, hooking her fingers in his belt loops as she rests her chin on his shoulder. “Hey baby,” he says to her, turning his head to peck her nose before moving the bacon to a plate.“Hey darlin’,” she says, smiling and reaching to steal a piece of bacon. Bobby Singer, the Winchesters’ second father and Dean’s boss, walks in just as she does so.“Now, son,” he says seriously, crossing his arms as he leans against the counter. “Are you gonna let your girl steal all the bacon and leave none for the rest of us?”Dean exchanges a glance with Jo, then grins. “No, I’ll help her eat it all.” Then he takes the piece of bacon that she holds up to him, chewing obnoxiously.Sam observes the goings-on with a soft smile, tucked into an unoccupied corner of counter space to make his morning smoothie. Ash leans on the counter next to him, nabbing a blueberry from the container as Sam cuts the banana into the blender. “You cramping bad today?” he asks the tall man.“Yeah,” Sam says, nodding as he tears a couple handfuls of spinach to add to the banana. “Hit me in the middle of my shower. Took some painkillers and magnesium phosphate already.”Ash nods, popping another blueberry into his mouth. “Have you tried putting mag-phos into your smoothie directly, instead of as a pill?”“Did that for a while, when I first started making these, actually.” Sam adds greek yogurt, blueberries, and apple juice before putting the lid on. “It didn’t work as well when I mixed it with something.” He presses a button to blend the ingredients, and Ash raises his voice to be heard over it.“That’s a shame. Those pills are disgusting.” Sam laughs.~~~Castiel runs up his driveway, chest heaving and t-shirt dark with sweat as he unlocks his front door and heads inside. He walks through his kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water and drinking slowly, carefully from it before settling onto the yoga mat on the floor of his exercise room. He strips off his shirt, uses it to wipe off most of the sweat that’s collected on his skin, and tosses it to the side. Then he goes through his post-run cool-down exercises, the motions coming naturally from years of practice.The phone rings and he sighs, carefully pushing himself up and going back to the kitchen, where he’d left his cellphone after his run. Without looking at the screen, he answers, “Hello?” and takes another sip of water as he waits for an answer.“Hello, Castiel.” The voice is as familiar to him as his own; it’s Hannah, his twin sister.“Hannah, how are you?”“I’m doing well. I was wondering if you had any plans today.”Cas chuckles softly. It was just like her to get straight to the point in a conversation. “I was going to work on some claims today.” As he speaks, he grabs his discarded shirt and heads upstairs to his room.“That’s it?” His sister’s voice was a little sad, a little disappointed. “Well, then, you should come out to the park today. Charlie and I are bringing the kids out with the kites, since it’s supposed to be pretty windy today.”A small smile spreads across his face as he thinks of the children his sister and her wife had adopted a year ago. His smile falters, however, as his thoughts lead him to the child he’d been forced to put up for adoption. “I’m sorry, that sounds lovely, but…”“Cas, please.” Hannah sighs softly. “You need to leave that house. I know you only go out for necessities, like work and shopping and exercise.”“That’s all I need, Hannah.”“It’s not healthy. You’re cooped up there with all the bad memories that place holds. It’s been six months since the accident, Castiel. You’re wallowing.”“Well maybe I like wallowing!” Cas snaps, instantly regretting it. He takes a deep breath and turns on the shower, waiting for the water to heat up. “I’m sorry. I just don’t think I’ll have time to do that today. Thank you for the offer, though.”Another small sigh comes through the line, and he can imagine the look of pity on her face. “We’ll be at Green Lake Park a little after nine, if you change your mind,” she says softly. Then the line goes dead, and he throws the phone gently onto his bed before stepping into the shower. Green Lake Park. As he washes his hair, he remembers Sam from the park. The man’s voice plays on a loop in his mind, along with his sister’s.“See you around?”“Green Lake Park a little after nine.”“I’ll hang around this tree for a while if you’re interested.”“If you change your mind.”As Castiel dries off after his shower, he remembers a moment he’d had with Balthazar, his former fiancé, just a few days before the car accident. He’d been laying on his stomach after a fantastic round of sex, still glowing with the come-down. Balthazar had climbed back into bed after cleaning them both up and laid on his side, facing Castiel. Cas’ eyes were almost closed, his head laying against his folded arms, when his fiancé asked, “Do you want children?” His eyes flew open. “What?” “You heard me.” Balthazar ran one hand lazily down his fiancé’s back, tracing patterns with his fingers. “We’ve talked about whether or not I want them, but we’ve never discussed your wants.” “I’m happy with whatever you want, Bal.” One eyebrow was raised in doubt. “But what do you need, Cassy?” Confusion registered on Castiel’s face, so Balthazar elaborated. “I know you feel bad about Claire.” Just as quickly as it had shown confusion, Cas’ face closed off. “My supposed guilt concerning a decision I made more than six years ago does not factor into this.” A frown crossed Balthazar’s face. “It most certainly does.” He smiled softly. “Castiel, if you want to find Claire and bring her home, we will.” “Why? Balthazar, you’ve told me multiple times that you have no interest in raising children.” His blue eyes flicked back and forth, searching his partner’s grey ones for an answer, not sure what he wanted to hear. “Because it’s important to you, and it will make you happy.” Balthazar’s hands cupped Castiel’s face as he pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “Your happiness is far, far more important to me than my reluctance to raise a child. No matter what, I want you to be happy, Cas.”He pauses in his movements, looking down at the black slacks he holds in his hands. Castiel has always put his happiness on the backburner; he’s been that way since he was a kid. But now… now he thinks of Bal, and Sam, and Hannah, Charlie, and the kids. And something inside him decides that he’s not going to put his happiness aside any more. With new energy, he puts aside the slacks in favor of a pair of jeans and leaves his white button-down untucked. He’s going to go have fun with his sister and her family, and maybe, just maybe, he’ll see that handsome guitarist sitting against a tree and smiling warmly at him.~~~Sam walks slowly through the park, his guitar once again slung over his back. His strides reveal an awkward gait, but it doesn’t seem to bother him as he smiles at the sight of so many families gathered to spend time together on this gorgeous day. He reaches the tree where he’d sat the night before, pausing and looking past it to the lakeside, where there were a few big, flat rocks.For a moment, he hesitates, wondering whether or not to follow his dream or follow his promise. In the end, he decides against the dream and lowers himself carefully to the flat patch of grass in the roots of the tree. As he gets out his guitar and checks the tuning, his eyes wander, a slightly wistful smile playing on his face.One family in particular catches his gaze: two women, one with bright red hair, the other with darker hair, help their son and daughter build a kite. Sam squints slightly, thinking he recognizes the redhead. She turns to run with the kite, trying to get it into the air, and his face relaxes into a smile.It’s Charlie Bradbury, one of his best friends from college, one of the few he still keeps in contact with. Which means the other woman must be her wife, Hannah, and those are the kids they just adopted the year before. He hasn’t had a chance to talk to her in ages, but he keeps up with her through social media. He wonders momentarily if he should go over to her and catch up, but decides against it when he sees how much she’s caught up with her family; he doesn’t want to interrupt that.Instead, he starts strumming his guitar, his fingers automatically finding the chords to the first song that comes to mind.Sam’s so caught up in his song, eyes slightly unfocused on something in the distance, that he doesn’t see Castiel get out of a car and go over to Hannah, who greets him enthusiastically.~~~“Cas!” Hannah’s voice is surprised and pleased, and a wide smile crosses his face as he allows himself to be pulled into a hug. “I’m glad you changed your mind,” she says softly as her arms wrap around him.“Yes, well…” He chuckles as he pulls away. “It’s a beautiful day and my sister asked me to come to the park to see her and her family. It wasn’t hard to change my mind.” He leaves out the part about trying to run into Sam again, deciding he didn’t need to have that can of worms opened again so soon. Hannah looks a little skeptical, and he doesn’t blame her, considering their earlier conversation, but luckily a distraction arrives in the form of her children.“Uncle Cassy!” The girl runs up to him and wraps her arms around his middle in a hug.“Hello, Rosie,” he says, returning the hug with a smile. “How’re you?”She doesn’t get a chance to answer as her younger brother, Daniel, shouts, “We’re flying a kite!”Castiel chuckles. “I can see that. Is it going well?”Rosie shakes her head, pouting a bit. “The kite won’t go up, Uncle Cassy. Mama and Ima have both tried lots.”“Well, would you like me to try?” Both children nod, and Charlie hands the kite to him with a smile.“Have a go, Cas,” she says. “Maybe you’ll have better luck.”He chuckles and runs with the kite, holding it over his head. When he feels it begin to tug, he lets go, launching it a little extra way into the air. For a moment, it looks like it’s going to fly, and he stands there with a proud grin on his face, watching it. But then it tanks, and his grin is gone in a flash when he realizes it’s headed right for a tree. “Dammit,” he mutters to himself, running after it. The last thing he needs is for the kite to get caught in a tree and get ripped.~~~Sam’s playing is interrupted by a loud crash above him, and he looks up to see a kite lodged in the branches. Recognizing it as the one Charlie had been making with her family, he stands and looks in the direction they’d been. All thought of rescuing the kite was gone, however, as soon as he realized the man running towards him and the tree was none other than Castiel.His breath is taken away by how different the blue-eyed man looks compared to last night. Gone is the trench and the suit, replaced with a simple pair of faded jeans and a plain white button down, the first two buttons of which have popped open. Then he realizes he’s staring and clears his throat, smiling as Cas comes to a stop in front of him. “Hey,” he says nonchalantly. “That kite yours?”“Sam?” Cas asks, his breathing slightly uneven from the impromptu run. “Um, yes. Well, it belong to my niece and nephew, actually.”“Niece and nephew?” Charlie, Hannah, Rosie, and Daniel walk up next to Cas then, and the redheaded woman immediately recognizes her old college friend.“Hey, Sam!” she says, wide smile on her face. “Long time no see. You know Cas?”“Sorta. I was playing guitar last night and Castiel stopped to talk to me about it.” He furrows his brow. “How do you know him?”Hannah speaks up, a knowing grin on her face as she looks at Cas. “He’s my twin. I invited him out for a day with the kids. I was wondering why he changed his mind.”Sam raises his eyebrows but Cas speaks before he can. “How do you know Charlie?”“We were friends in college,” he says, a thrill of hope going through him that the dark-haired man had decided to come to the park just to see him.“Are we gonna get the kite?” Daniel interrupts Sam, pouting impatiently. Hannah raises an eyebrow.“Danny, that was rude,” she says. “We’re having a conversation, you’ll have to be patient.”“It’s okay,” Sam says with a chuckle. “I’ll get the kite down so y’all can get back to what you were doing.”“Can you reach that?” Cas asks, looking up at the tree in disbelief.Sam grins widely. “Watch.”“Be careful, Sam,” Charlie says, eyebrows raised and lips pursed. “You don’t need to be a showoff.”“Noted.” He reaches up to grab a tree branch, and Cas tries really hard to deny that he’s staring at the strip of skin that’s revealed when Sam’s shirt rides up. The tall man hoists himself up onto the branch, the muscles in his arms standing out, and sits himself firmly on it before reaching up for the kite. He detangles it from the branches, then hands it down to Castiel, who hands it to Hannah and watches for Sam to come down.Only, Sam sits there just a moment too long. He sighs to himself, mentally shaking his head as he feels the gazes of his friends below him. Stupid stupid stupid, trying to show off for the cute, flustered man. He always forgets that getting down from the trees is the hard part. With a deep breath, he braces himself and pushes off the branch, twisting to hold onto the branch and lower himself. He lets go and falls the rest of the way to the ground, his legs nearly buckling despite the support his braces gave.Then warm hands grip his shoulders, and he’s steadied carefully. “Are you okay?” He hadn’t noticed before, but Castiel’s voice is a little gravelly. “Sam?”“Yeah, I’m fine.” He straightens, shooting a small smile at Cas over his shoulder. “Not that great an idea to jump out of a tree when you’ve got muscular dystrophy, even with braces.”Cas frowns, looking down at Sam’s legs. His phone rings just as he opens his mouth to ask a question and he sighs. “Apologies, just a moment.” Sam waves him off and he turns to answer the call. “Hello?”“Castiel, it’s Anna.” The voice of his eldest sister comes through pained. “It’s about our father.”Hannah watches her twin, frowning when his back straightens noticeably. “What about him?”“Chuck is dead, Cas.”
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Castiel texts his younger brother, Samandriel, as he drives. I’m heading to campus, there’s a family meeting. > Castiel pulls up outside the large building that houses the student union, grateful that it’s the weekend as he finds a parking spot easily. He spots a small group of people gathered around one of the fire pits out front and heads towards them after recognizing the lanky form of his brother. As he walks up, he recognizes two of the people surrounding Samandriel as his friends, Kevin Tran and Adam Milligan.“Hey, Cas!” Kevin shouts as he sees the man approaching. “What’s up, dude?”He can’t help the easy smile that comes to his face as he replies, “Nothing much, just need to pick up my little brother for a family thing.”“Is Andy in trouble?” Adam asks with a grin, using the nickname the youngest Novak has had since he entered the public school system and both classmates and teachers alike struggled with his full name.Castiel chuckles. “No, he’s not. Unless he’s been getting into more of that party trouble I had to rescue him from last time.” He raises an eyebrow at his brother.“No, no no no,” Samandriel comes to his own defense, eyes wide. “We haven’t been back to the Throne Room since that Crowley dude played us.”“Good.” Someone to his left clears their throat, and he turns to see a woman smiling at him.“Sorry to interrupt,” she says. “But I take it you’re Andy’s brother?”“Yes, yes, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude into whatever conversation you were having with him…” He trails off, raising his eyebrows at her.“Elaine Trabinski. I’m one of Andy’s professors.” She holds out her hand and he shakes it. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”“The pleasure is mine.” Cas looks down as a girl runs up and tugs on Elaine’s shirt.“Elaine,” she says, putting on a slight pout. “Can we go get ice cream on the way home?”“There’s ice cream at home that you can have after dinner, Claire.” The girl squeals and runs off again, entertaining herself by playing with the rocks in one of the cold fire pits.Castiel’s eyes are wide as he asks, “Is that your daughter?”“Foster daughter, actually,” Elaine says with a fond smile. “She’s been with my husband and I since she was seven, so about two years now. Still doesn’t call us mom and dad, though.” She shrugs. “When I ask her why, she says it’s because she knows her real dad is still out there somewhere, waiting for her.” She laughs. “Aren’t children something?”“Oh yes, indeed.” But his mind is long gone as he watches Claire, and the longer he looks at her the more he realizes she’s practically a miniature of Amelia, except for her hair, which is blonde, and her eyes, which are the same blue as his.“So, are we going or no?” Samandriel asks, bringing Cas back to the matter at hand. “Family meetings are usually important.”“Yes, yes. Let’s go.” He nods to Adam and Kevin. “This shouldn’t take too long. He’ll be back before the end of the day.”The two boys nod and wave, and Cas leads his younger brother back to the car. He’s lost in his thoughts most of the ride there, until he hears Andy huff and shove his phone into his pocket. “Problem?” Cas asks, looking over at him.“It’s nothing,” the young man says, crossing his arms. “My friends are just assholes.” But there’s a slight red tint to his cheeks that suggests something else, so Cas just quirks up a corner of his mouth and looks back at the road.~~~The Novak children gather in the living room of the house they all still referred to as their father’s, even though Chuck himself hadn’t lived there for years and Castiel was the one who’d been living in it and maintaining it. Anna is the first to speak up, breaking the news to Samandriel about their father’s death. The young man is clearly shaken, and his other brother, Gadreel, places a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Now,” Anna continues. “As the oldest child, it’s my job to settle his affairs. Obviously, the profits from his books will be split evenly between the five of us, as will everything else. Which leaves the question of the house.”All four of his siblings turn to look at Cas, and he raises his eyebrows. “What?” he asks.Hannah smiles softly. “You’re the only one who still has an… attachment to this house, Castiel.”Confusion fills his face, and everyone else nods, even Samandriel, who speaks up. “Honestly, I’ve been wondering why you keep living here. The place is a dump, so I thought you stayed for sentimentality, but even then…” He shrugs. “I didn’t think you actually had that many good memories of this place.”Castiel almost feels offended at the insult to the house, but as he thinks of an answer, he looks around as if seeing the place with clearer vision.The fireplace isn’t safe for use anymore because the chimney is crumbling and the flue won’t open. The wallpaper is peeling in various places around the house, and the water always comes out a bit rusty at first when you open a tap. The floors creak, the windows let in drafts, the kitchen cabinets are practically falling off the walls. I can fix all that, he thinks stubbornly. Nothing a little elbow grease, time, and money can’t take care of.But why? asks a little nagging voice in the back of his mind. Do you really care about this place? It’s seen nothing but heartbreak for you. Unbidden, his mind starts replaying memories. A mother who spent more time away from the house than taking care of her children, and who failed to show up again after a fight with her husband. A distracted father who sat at his desk and wrote, muttering to himself and drinking far too much whiskey. Making promises to his lonely children, promises he’d only break later. Anna and Gadreel getting jobs as soon as they were sixteen, almost as if they knew that Chuck would leave without so much as a note a week before his eldest turned eighteen. Amelia, smiling softly as he leads her through the house the day after they’re married. The silver band on her finger glints as she runs her hand over the walls and says something about changing out the wallpaper to a pattern that’s a little brighter. Amelia, pale and thin but still smiling as she sits in the armchair by the slowly crumbling fireplace and rocks her daughter, their daughter, in her arms. Amelia, cold to the touch but still with that damned soft smile on her lips, curled up in bed where she’d passed in her sleep, and thirteen-year-old Samandriel holding a wailing Claire in the doorway as Castiel falls to his knees. Half-packed suitcases and high hopes, laying in the old bed with Balthazar the first time they’d slept together and laughing about the way the frame squeaked. Preparing the papers to sell the house, sitting in his father’s chair behind the desk and finally feeling like he was doing something right in that seat. A phone call from the police as he made dinner in the kitchen, leaning heavily against the counter trying to control his sobs as they ask him to come down to the station. Coming back and collapsing when he saw Balthazar’s gold engagement ring sitting on the kitchen table; he’d taken it off while making the bread that was now burnt and black in the oven.A long sigh leaves Castiel’s lips and he nods as he looks back at Samandriel. “You’re right,” he says softly. “It’s falling apart. There’s no sentimental value.” He shrugs, a bitter chuckle leaving his lips. “I stayed because it was easy. Easier than facing the pain of change.” Wallowing, Gabriel’s voice echoes in his mind, and how damn right he’d been. His siblings watch him, their faces mixes of sympathy, compassion, and understanding, and he smiles slightly at them. “We’ll sell the house.”~~~Sam kneels on his porch, his long fingers carefully pruning the various flowers and herbs he grows in long ceramic troughs and large round pots. When he finishes removing the dead leaves and buds, he waters them all and then stands with a grunt and a little help from the railing. He moves inside to wash his hands of the soil, his gait a little more off-balance than before he’d jumped out of the tree that morning.Danny and Rosie are sitting on his futon couch in the living room, giggling and talking back to the TV as some children’s show plays. Charlie is making them a snack in the kitchen and Sam makes a soft noise of protest, his eyebrows raised in a joke as he motions wide. “Where am I supposed to wash my hands if you’re taking up the whole kitchen?”Charlie shakes her head, laughing. “It’s not my fault you’ve got a small kitchen, Sam,” she says, but scoots over anyways, moving out of the way of the sink. He laughs and smiles, washing his hands. “So, how’d you meet Cas again?” she asks, cutting the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches she made into fourths.“I was sitting in the park last night and playing my guitar. The guy just came up and asked what song I was playing, so I told him.” He turns to dry off his hands, using the movement to hide his slight smile. “I offered to sing it for him too but he had to get home or something.”The redhead hums in response, taking the snack to the kids before cleaning up. “And you just so happened to be under the same tree the next day?”“I always sit there, Charlie. It’s my favorite spot, you know that.”“Uh huh. And you definitely hadn’t told Cas he could come back some other time to hear you sing.” Sam opens the fridge and ducks down to grab the milk jug, trying to hide the faint blush that covers his cheeks. A knowing chuckle comes from Charlie, but when he finally finishes getting his milk and puts the jug away, he notices that her face has gone serious.“What?” he asks, concerned.“Just… be careful with him, okay?” She sighs softly and leans against the counter. “I’m not sure how much is in my rights to tell you, but he’s been hurt. A lot.” He tilts his head curiously but she shakes her head. “I don’t think I should tell you more than that. It’s for him to tell, if he’s comfortable telling.”“All right. Well, thank you, for the heads up.” He lifts his cup to take a sip of milk.She chuckles, the spark back in her eye at some sudden thought. “It’s too bad you’re both guys, though. I bet your kids would be fucking adorable.”Sam chokes on his milk and leans over the sink to spit it out so he doesn’t spew it everywhere, Charlie’s laughter filling the tiny apartment.~~~Rosie and Danny have just been laid down on Sam’s bed for a nap when Hannah and Castiel show up later in the afternoon. Hannah peeks in on the kids as Sam fishes four leftover poker-night beers out of the fridge, opening them and offering the first one to Cas. The other man takes it with a grateful nod and downs at least a third of it on the first go, leaning against the stove. Sam leans in the corner of the counter and pantry door, sipping at his beer as they wait for Hannah and Charlie.The two women join them in the small kitchen a moment later, each gratefully accepting a beer. Hannah begins to explain what happened to their father, and Castiel puts in his own comments here and there. The tall man watches the two of them, smiling slightly at just how obvious it is that they’re twins when they’re in a conversation together.“So we’re selling the house,” Castiel says, finishing off his beer and raising his eyebrows at Sam in question. More beer?“Which means Cas is going to need a place to stay soon,” Hannah finishes his thought. The other man nods and motions to the fridge. Help yourself.Cas opens the fridge and takes out another beer. “I’ll get an apartment.” He shrugs and opens his beer. “I don’t need anything fancy. It’s not like…” The end of his sentence trails off, and his twin doesn’t finish this one for him. He takes a long swig of beer, trying to ignore the awkward silence that falls in the absence of his voice. His sister watches him sadly, and Charlie exchanges a glance with Sam, a meaningful raising of her eyebrows. This is what I meant earlier.Then she and Hannah look at each other, and the silence is broken. “Well, it was nice to see you again, Sam,” says the redhead, smiling and finishing off her beer. “But we really ought to get the kids home.”Her wife nods, smiling. “Thank you for the beer and for opening your home to us.” She moves forward and hugs Cas, hard, murmuring something in his ear that Sam misses because Charlie’s suddenly hugging him.“Take care of him tonight, Sam,” she says quietly. “All jokes aside. He needs someone like you around for a while.” He nods, pulling away and giving her a small, soft smile. I’ll do my best. She squeezes his arm gently, smiling widely. Your best is the best.And then the two ladies are waking the children gently and carrying them outside, down the stairs from his porch and out to the car. Sam shuts the door behind them and turns back to Cas, who’s leaning in the space between kitchen and dining room and finishing off his second beer, eyes locked on in-between space.This is what you do, Sam, the tall man thinks to himself. You help people. Cas needs your help, now, so help him. He sighs softly, willing himself to not get attached yet again. “So,” he says, going back into the kitchen and reaching up into his cabinet for the bottle of whiskey he keeps around for special occasions. A father dying is a special enough occasion. “Have you ever seen ‘Galavant’?”~~~Turns out the straight-laced businessman is obsessive about both musicals and television, so naturally he’d already started the fantasy-comedy musical. He has about three episodes left to go until the first season finale, so Sam loads it up on Netflix and settles Cas on the couch with his third beer and the whiskey bottle to hand. By the time Galavant and Richard are drunkenly trying to sneak through the castle to kill Kingsley, the beer is gone and they’ve gone through a seriously shocking amount of the whiskey.Cas is giggling -- fucking giggling -- and Sam is grinning like an idiot because, shit, he’d thought the guy looked gorgeous that night in the park, but now he looks like a goddamn painting. His shirt is unbuttoned at the top and his hair is mussed in just the right way. His eyes crinkle in the most adorable way when he laughs, and his smile is so large he can see his gums. Sam wishes that his eyes were cameras so he record this, this exact moment, and keep it for years to come, so that when he inevitably ends up alone he can look at it again and remember that he used to have good things.Then the episode is over and Cas is tilting dangerously to the left, so Sam turns off the TV and Netflix and says they can save the second season for another day. The other man nods, obviously having trouble focusing from the way his eyes are slightly crossed, and proceeds to fall over to lay across the couch. Rolling his eyes, Sam goes behind the futon and pulls the back so that it lays flat. Then he tugs the mattress so it lays in place, nearly laughing when Cas lets out little groans of protest at all the movement.“Castiel…” Sam says softly, going over and shaking his shoulder. He just groans and rolls over. “Cas, come on. You’re not gonna be comfortable sleeping in your clothes. At least take your pants off.” God, he could have said that better. Cas looks up at him then, a ridiculous, cheesy grin on his face and what he apparently thinks is bedroom eyes, wiggling his eyebrows. “Seriously, man, I’m gonna go grab you some sweatpants and a blanket and stuff. Just get ready for bed.”When he comes back, sweatpants, blanket, and pillow in his arms, Castiel is passed out and snoring softly, his shirt and jeans discarded on the floor so that he’s left in his boxers. Sam’s glad he’s not awake to see the blush that covers his face as he sets down the sweatpants on the side table. He carefully puts the pillow under the sleeping man’s head and covers him with the blanket. “Sleep well, Cas,” he whispers, and turns off the lights.As he’s laying in his own bed, Sam replays the memory of Cas’ laugh, trying to embed it into his brain forever. He knows that good things don’t stick around, not for him anyways, and Cas is definitely, one hundred percent a Good Thing. So he thanks whatever god is out there that he even gets to be friends with someone like Cas and closes his eyes, not even letting himself ask for anything more with the man on his futon couch.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Castiel wakes slowly, keeping his eyes tight shut against the light streaming in through the window. He tries to figure out what time it is, because it is far too bright out for his alarm to not have gone off yet, and then he remembers. His eyes open slowly, blinking into focus the dark sheets on the futon he’d slept on; Sam’s futon. There’s movement in the kitchen and he sits up, stretching and looking around. “Good morning sleepy head,” Sam says from the kitchen, his voice far too awake to be hungover.“Good morning,” Cas manages to say, his throat dry.“I’m starting breakfast and there’s coffee brewing. The bathroom’s just through the bedroom if you want to freshen up.” He nods and starts to stand. “There’s sweats on the table by the futon for you, and feel free to borrow a shirt from my closet if you want.”“Thank you, Sam.” He slides the sweats on and shuffles into the bathroom, noticing that everything is neat and orderly. Splashing cool water on his face wakes him up more, and he takes one of Sam’s neatly folded t-shirts from it’s shelf in the closet. When he comes back out to the kitchen, the smell of fresh-brewed coffee hits his nose and he groans softly. “That smells heavenly.”Sam laughs a little and hands him a cup. “Do you want creamer or anything with it?”“Just some sugar, thanks.” Sam directs him to the sugar on the table and the spoons in the drawer, and then he’s sitting at the table, sipping his coffee as Sam cooks.“Do you mind veggie omelets?” he asks, cracking some eggs into a bowl.“That sounds perfect.” Cas takes a moment to look around, get a more focused look at the apartment now that there’s nothing going on. It’s sparsely furnished, most of the furniture dark-polished wood and black or grey fabric. There’s some art on the walls: watercolor landscapes and abstract portraits. The television was definitely the most expensive thing in the small space. He notices the guitar and stand in the corner and asks, “How long have you been playing the guitar?”“Only a few years now, I think.” Sam reaches up to the top cabinet to get some seasonings and Cas is momentarily distracted by the strip of skin that shows below the hem of his shirt. “Yeah, it was just after I moved up here to be closer to my brother.”“You’re very good.” He tears his gaze away from Sam and sips the coffee. He really shouldn’t be thinking of that kind of thing.“Thanks. I had to spend a lot of time sitting and being stationary when I first got here. Guitar was one of the few things I could do that didn’t need me to get out of bed. That and video games.” Sam finishes the omelets and plates them, grinning widely as he brings them over to the table. “I kick ass at Mario Kart.”Cas raises his eyebrows and laughs a little, taking the plate handed to him. “This looks amazing.” He keeps the questions he has to himself for now.“Thanks. Dig in.” Sam sits and begins to eat, so he follows suit. It’s the best omelet he’s had since Amelia… He blinks, the casualness of that thought taking him by surprise. “Everything okay?” Sam asks. “I didn’t get some eggshell in it, did I?”“No, no,” Cas is quick to reassure. “Just a stray thought, it’s nothing important. The omelet is very good.”“I’m glad you like it.”They eat in silence for a few moments more, and then Cas can’t help himself. “So, you said you were bedridden for a while when you first moved here. I assume it’s because you have muscular dystrophy? You mentioned it at the park.”“Yeah, uh.” Sam chews slowly, considering the quickest and best way to explain everything. “It’s not as severe as some cases, I have what’s called Becker Muscular Dystrophy. It didn’t really start showing up til I was thirteen or so, but it gets worse as you age. I moved here four years ago because I’d collapsed at work and couldn’t get around on my own. My brother Dean lives out here too, he took care of me for those first few months.”“That was very good of him to do.”Sam shrugs. “That’s just how we are. We’re family, we take care of each other.”“Is it just you two?”“No, we have Bobby, Ellen, Jo, and Ash too. Some others. They’re not blood, but they’re family. Dean works for Bobby, but Bobby’s more like our dad than anything else.”He nods. “It’s good to not be alone in situations like this.”Sam chuckles and looks down. “Yeah. What about you? What’s your family like?”Cas considers. “Large, sometimes dysfunctional. Anna’s the oldest, then Gadreel. Hannah and I are twins, and then Samandriel is in college. We don’t all always get along, and… I mean, our dad just died. So, there’s that.”“I’m sorry to hear that.” Cas looks into Sam’s eyes and sees that he means it, so he smiles a little in appreciation. “What about friends? Anyone from work?”“I suppose I consider Gabriel a friend. Kelly, Michael, and some others. It’s been a while though since I took any time to be with them. Work is demanding, you know how it is.”“Hm, yeah.” Their plates are empty, mugs drained of coffee, so Sam begins to stand. “Finished with your cup too?”“Yes, but let me get it.” Sam starts to protest, but Cas holds up a hand. “You’ve been a gracious host, let me take care of the clean up.”Hesitation flits across Sam’s face, tinged with something like fear? Or frustration? But then he smiles a little and says, “Okay, thanks. You can just rinse everything off in the sink and leave them there.” Cas nods and takes the plates, silverware, and mugs off the table.Sam watches Castiel move around his small kitchen, noticing the way his muscles move under his shirt -- my shirt, he remembers, a tingle in his spine -- and wonders what he thinks of him now that he knows about the muscular dystrophy. Most people pity him, treat him like he’s fragile. He hopes that’s not the case with Cas.“So what do you do, Sam?” Cas asks, sitting down with another cup of coffee. “I mean, do you still work?”“Oh, no, I’m actually on disability,” he says. “I do some programming on a freelance basis, since that doesn’t require me to move around too much, but most of the time I can just do whatever I want. Usually I go to one of the parks and sit under a tree with my guitar. I also enjoy seeing local plays and art exhibitions.” He smiles and leans back in his chair. “Dean and the others rope me into weekly poker, too.”“That must be nice. I haven’t really been out to do anything recreational in a while.”“Work keep you busy?”“Well… yes, and no.” Sam raises an eyebrow; Cas sighs, and then explains. “I work in insurance, mostly claims adjusting and that kind of thing. It can be long hours and lots of work. I used to, well, still do use it as an excuse to avoid spending time with people. I was wallowing, I think, purposely distancing myself.”“Why?”“I lost my wife and gave our child up for adoption, and then, about a year ago, I lost my fiancé. It’s been hard, dealing with all that.”“Castiel.” Sam reaches out and takes Cas’ hand, looking in his eyes sincerely. “I’m so sorry to hear that. You’ve lost so much. You’re strong to have made it through all that and still be here.” Cas can only stare, eyes wide and locked into Sam’s gaze.“Thank you,” he eventually says softly, looking down and squeezing Sam’s hand. “I think you’re quite admirable too. To keep moving when your body tries to keep you from doing just that requires a great amount of strength.”Sam smiles a little. “Heh, thanks, Cas.” They sit there for a moment, until Cas realizes they’re still holding hands.He clears his throat. “Well, I should probably go home. Change into my own clothes and such.” He extracts his hand from Sam’s grip and stands, taking his empty mug to the sink. “Thank you for your hospitality, Sam.”“Of course, it’s no problem.” Sam stands and heads for the front door as Cas gathers up his clothes from the night before. “You’re welcome here any time.”“I’ll bring your clothes by tomorrow,” Cas says as he gets to the door. “Is there a good time for you?”“Not really, I’ll be here all day I think.” Sam pulls out his phone. “Give me your number and I’ll text you if I’ll be gone, just in case.”Cas obliges, saying, “I’ll be off work by 5 I believe, so let me know by then if it’s a good time for you.”“Got it. See you tomorrow, Cas.”“Looking forward to it.” Sam watches as Cas pulls out of the driveway in his sensible beige sedan and sighs a little.As he sets about cleaning up the kitchen from breakfast, Sam’s chest twinges in pain. He grunts and brings a hand up to dig the heel of his palm into his pectoral muscle, but that doesn’t do anything to relieve the sudden pain. It goes deeper than that, and he shakes a little as he pulls out his phone to make a call.