Work Text
Day 1: Kyungsoo’s Text
Tuesday, 11:39 AMBig booty (Sehun): BAEKABEKABKEBAEKABEKABEK GEUSS WHO JSUT TEEXCTED MEIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): whoBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): UM SEHUNBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): ARE YOU NOT GOING TO ACKNOWLEGEE ME???????Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): YOUR BEST FRIENDBig booty (Sehun): BAEKHGYUN I SA LSO MY BEST FRIEND AND HE TOLD ME NOT TO TEXT YOU UNTIL YOU CHANEG YOUR USERNAEMBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): never :)IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): U FUCKING BETTERBig booty (Sehun): FUCKIGN ANYWATSBig booty (Sehun): GEUS WHO TEXETD MEIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): I fucking asked who you ugly piece of shit. Fucking answer before i remove youBig booty (Sehun): NO DONTBig booty (Sehun): IT’S KYUGNSOOIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): ESUYDGAHIKZEGUWYADHSJIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): FUIDHCJVNKXBaekhyun’s small dicc: FUCKINGWEJSDKFNBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): NOEFD HE DIDNTE DSFEDSJKLBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): YORUE JOKINGGINRKSGBDKJIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): SHIT WEIRKDFHSAJLLEDSABaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): UEYGFDHISKJIEW IM DYIGNEDBig booty (Sehun): IM GOIGN TO FCUCKING CRYIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): WHEN DID HE GET YOUR NUCEMBERE OGMGOMBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): I THOUGHT U WERE AFRIAD TO TALK TO HIM OGM I CANNOT BELIEVEV EIFSDJKLBig booty (Sehun): HE ASKED MEBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): AHHHHHHHEWRSUDFYHIXZOJIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): HE WANTS YOU OFMOFMFBig booty (Sehun): TODAY HE SAT NEXT TO ME DURING OUR LECTUEREFOR STATISTICS AND HE WHISPERED TO ME THAT I TOOK GOOD NOTES AND THAT I HAD NICE HANDWRITINGNBig booty (Sehun): SO THEN HE ASKED ME FOR MY NUMBER SO I COULD SEND THEM TO HIMIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): :///////////////////////////////////////IT’S AVERAGE: ihy i thought he wanted the dickBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): wow…Big booty (Sehun): SHUT UPBig booty (Sehun): ANYWAYSBig booty (Sehun): HE TEXTED ME “HI IS THIS SEHUN. JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE THIS IS THE RIGHT NUMBER”IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): ://////////////IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): who even are youIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): im disowning uIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): youre not my sonBig booty (Sehun): SHUT TF UPBig booty (Sehun): IM NOT DONEBig booty (Sehun): OK SO I RESPOND “YES IT’S SEHUN. DO YOU WANT ME TO SEND THE NOTES NOW?”Big booty (Sehun): SO I SEND MY NOTES AND HE SAYSBig booty (Sehun): THANKSIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): oh my godIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): i really hate you. Literally nothign fucking happened you swine. Why are you even freaking outBig booty (Sehun): IM NOT DOEN OMGBig booty (Sehun): OK SO AFTER HE SAYS THATBig booty (Sehun): HE SAYSBig booty (Sehun): DO YOU WANT TO COME OVER TO MY DORM NEXT WEEK TO STUDYBig booty (Sehun): IT’S BEEN FIVE MINUSTE AND I HAVENT RESPONDED OGMBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): AHHHHHH YOUR GONNA GET THE DICC BOIIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): you’re*IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): dick*IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): boy*Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): You areBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): FUCKING ANNOYINGIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): what? I like grammarBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): SAYS THE ONE WHO FUCKING MAEKS A TYPO EVERY FIVE SECONDS, MR TYPOIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): YOURE NO BETTERBig booty (Sehun): ok but can we all take a momentBig booty (Sehun): and fUcking hELP ME FIGURE OUT WHAT I SHOULD TELL HIM[jd :3 has entered the conversation]Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): SAY YES ARW YOU DUMBjd :3: what are we saying yes to?Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): SEHUSN GETTING THE DICC DUDEjd :3: DUDEEEEEEjd :3: I never thought I'd see the day when our group’s virgin got laidBig booty (Sehun): IM NOT A VIRGINjd :3: I've known u my whole life sonjd :3: you're a virginBig booty (Sehun): :(((jd :3: ;3jd :3: so who is he fuckingIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): KYUNGSOOBig booty (Sehun): IM NOT FUXKING ANYONEjd :3: Kyungsoo as in the junior Sehun’s had a crush on since freshman year?Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): that very onejd :3: how’d you even get him?Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): I'll send you screenshotsBig booty (Sehun): so I said yes to him :):):))):):)):):)):))Big booty (Sehun): I think I might cry :):):):)):):)):)Big booty (Sehun): I seem calm but my brain has fallen out of my body and has rolled off of an 82 story building onto a speeding highway :):):)jd :3: did he say anything backBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): !!!Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): I’m FREKAING out for you rnBig booty (Sehun): he saidBig booty (Sehun): “can't wait to see you ;)” :))):):)):):):):) I am ok. I am fine. I am not dyting. My arms and legs are not broken :)Big booty (Sehun): actually they are :):):):)):Big booty (Sehun): save my arms and legsIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): clam downBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): ohBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): what happened to typing correctly Mr Typo :)IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): omg just shit upBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): how does one shit up?Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): baek answer me I want to knowTuesday, 12:59 PMBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): it's been two hours :/Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): u suckIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): and u swallow ;)Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): :/
Day 7: Hair sniffer?
Big booty (Sehun): kill meBig booty (Sehun): castrate meBig booty (Sehun): I don't wish to live this awful lifeBig booty (Sehun): fUCKI NG KILL ME I HATE MYSELFIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): soooo I'm taking that you didn't fuck him :)[Big booty has removed IT’S AVERAGE from the conversation][jd :3 has added IT’S AVERAGE to the conversation]IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): ihyjd :3: how about you don't be such a dick in the first place ;3jd :3: sehun, what happened?Big booty (Sehun): UGHHH I SNIFFED HIS HAIRjd :3: whatBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): SHHSBDHDHDBWKWK WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUjd :3: Kyungsoo’s?Big booty: YES I WANT TO KMSjd :3: Kim Minseok? haha :333Big booty (Sehun): ://////Big booty (Sehun): this is a serious matter! :(Big booty (Sehun): I think Kyungsoo hates me ; — ;IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): I would tooIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): you aren't going to sniff me next are you? I need to know to take precaution[Big booty has removed IT’S AVERAGE from the conversation][Baekhyun’s small dicc has added IT’S AVERAGE to the conversation]IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): YOU DIDNT REMOVE JONGDAE WHEN HE MADE A JOKEBig booty (Sehun): but it's jongdaeIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): touchéjd :3: what went down sehun?Big booty (Sehun): WELLBig booty (Sehun): THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE WENT LIKE THISBig booty (Sehun): SO WE’RE TALKIG AND WE’RE MAKING JOKES AND WHAT NOT AS WE’RE STUDYINGBig booty (Sehun): SO HE LEANS CLOSE TO ME TO LOOK AT MY NOTES THAT I HAVE ON MY LAPBig booty: SO I SMELL HIS HAIR CAUSE IT ALWAYS LOOKS SO BOUNCY AND FRESH AND CUTE AND AMAZING AND WONDERFUL AND AMAZING AND STUNNING AND GORGEOUS AND TERRIFIC AND FANTASTIC AND PRETTY AND BEAUTIFUL AND JUST ALL AROUND WONDERFULBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): so many… adjectives…Big booty (Sehun): SO AFTER I TAKE SEVERAL GOOD SNIFFSOF HIS HAIR HE LOOKS UP TO ME AND SMILESBig booty (Sehun): THEN HE WALKS AWAY TO HIS KITCHENBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): kitchen?Big booty (Sehun): HE’S A JUNIOR REMEMBER. JUNIORS GET KITCHENETTESBig booty (Sehun): ANYWAYS, SO I BOLTBig booty (Sehun): AND I LEFT ALL OF MY THINGS THEREBig booty (Sehun): I WANT TO CRYBig booty (Sehun): HE KEEPS TEXTING ME AND I JUST WANT TO HIDE IM SO EMBARRASSED. IM CRYING SO MCUHBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): how does your stoic ass face even manage to cryBig booty (Sehun): OK IM NOT CRYING BUT MY HEART ISIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): I HATE YOUR ASSIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): WHAT IF HE DIDNT NOTICEIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): WHAT IF HE DIDNT FIND IT FUCKING WEIRD YOU BUTTIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): HES PROBABLY TEXTING YOU SO MUCH SINCE YOU FUCKING DISSAPEAREDBig booty (Sehun): he did say he's worried about me…Big booty: but he's probably only saying that bc he thinks I'm weirdjd :3: ?????jd :3: what kind of logicjd :3: this is why your first kiss was an accidentBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): STORY TIME :!Djd :3: no story timejd :3: it was mejd :3: we had a sleepover in elementary one time and since his room is super dark and I kissed him by accidentjd :3: idk if you can even call it a kiss our lips just brushedIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): screenshot :)IT’S AVERAGE: FUCKING GOLDENBig booty (Sehun): JONGDAEBig booty (Sehun): I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL ANYONEjd :3: whoops ;3jd :3: I don't think he's ever kissed anyone other than meBig booty (Sehun): YES I HAVEBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): who :)Tuesday, 9:01 PMBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): it's been five minutes sweaty and still no answer :)Big booty (Sehun): choke on a dickBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): something you'll never do >^<Big booty (Sehun): :///////////
Day 8: facing fears
Wednesday, 8:49 AMBig booty (Sehun): I want to die :)))))Big booty (Sehun): I have to see Kyungsoo in 10 minutes :)))))) how do I drop statistics in that time :)))))Big booty (Sehun): someone give me a rope I'm going to hang myself in the courtyardjd :3: I know who has some rope :3:3:3:333[jd :3 has added $$$ to the conversation]jd :3: Junmyeon!! Do you have any rope so Sehun can hang himself? He wants to kill himself over Kyungsoo :’( You were on that camping trip last week right?$$$ (Suho): I was…$$$ (Suho): and Sehun’s in this convo?[Big booty has been removed]$$$ (Suho): was…?$$$ (Suho): I need to talk to him. I didn't have his line idjd :3: why?$$$ (Suho): cause kyungsoo’s been worried sick about him$$$ (Suho): sehun’s been ignoring him and he's super worried$$$ (Suho): he went to sehun’s dorm yesterdayIT’S AVERAGE: ahhh. If I knew it was him I would've opened the door :/$$$ (Suho): who are youIT’S AVERAGE: his roommate that you don't need to know~~~Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): :)$$$ (Suho): Uh... I'm guessing you're Baekhyun. Don't you really hate me?IT’S AVERAGE: Yes! How did you guess? You’re my ex’s side bitch! Or have you been promoted to main bitch since I dropped his sloppy ass :)$$$ (Suho): i was drunk that time… I’m really sorry$$$ (Suho): and why didn't you open the door?? Yesterday really sucked bc of you. Kyungsoo was really upsetIT’S AVERAGE: ummmmm kyungsoo’s emotions aren’t my problem, sweaty :)$$$ (Suho): it’s sweetieIT’S AVERAGE: It’s whatever I want it to be, sweaty :)IT’S AVERAGE: I didn't open the door bc I always have someone pissed at me. I thought Kyungsoo was someone who wanted to beat my wack ass$$$ (Suho): I guess that's reasonable…$$$ (Suho): I’ll leave now[$$$ has left the conversation][IT’S AVERAGE added Big booty to the conversation]IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): THE SNAKE IS GONEBig booty (Sehun): WHY DID YOU ADD HIM?!!!!!?!???! HES KYUNGSOO’S BEST FRIEND OMGMG J WANT TO DIEBig booty (Sehun): WHAT HAPPENEDDEDDDjd :3: what makes him a snake?IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): UMMMM HE SLEPT WITH MY BOYFRIEND AND DRESSES LIKE A CHURCH BOYjd :3: but i dress like a church boy :(IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): BUT YOU ARENT A SNAKE DISGUISED AS A CHURCH BOYBig booty (Sehun): WHATBig booty (Sehun): HAPPENEDIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): he basically said how it was kyungsoo who was at our door last nightIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): he said kyungsoo was upset and worriedBig booty (Sehun): :)Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): huh???Big booty (Sehun): I dont want to see him ever againBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): umm???Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): arent you in love with the guy?Big booty (Sehun): YESYEYSYESYSYE I AM. BUT I DONT WANT HIM TO BE WITH THIS WEIRDO. I DONT WANT HIM TO HANG OUT WITH ME CAUSE HE PITIES ME. CAUSE IM WEIRDD!!!!!!Big booty (Sehun): I HATE MY LIFEFIEFEBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): you’re annoyingIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): very annoyingBig booty (Sehun): ok so i walked into statisticsBig booty (Sehun): and kyungsoo’s not hereBig booty (Sehun): what a reliefjd :3: kysBig booty (Sehun): i wish i couldWednesday, 9:06 AMBig booty (Sehun): he :) came :) and :) sat :) one :) seat :) over :)Big booty (Sehun): he put his bookbag next to me :)Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): oh my god the world is endingBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): kyungsoo’s bookbag is next to youBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): what ever will we doBig booty (Sehun): shut up you footWednesday, 9:18 AMBig booty (Sehun): soBig booty (Sehun): kyungsoo slid me a paperBig booty (Sehun): saying that he’s sorry for checking out my thighs????Big booty (Sehun): I am lostIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): oh my godIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): maybe this whole timeIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): he misunderstood why you ran out and thought it was bc he check you outIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): WHAT IF THAT’S WHY HE WAS WORRIED AND SO UPSET. MAYBE HE DIDNT EVEN NOTICE YOU SNIFFING HIMBig booty (Sehun): jfc im an idiotBig booty (Sehun): i hate myselfBig booty (Sehun): what do i write back to him??? HelpBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): write that you thought he left to the kitchen bc you weirded him out with the sniffingBig booty (Sehun): IM NOT GOING TO ADMIT TO TEH SNIFFING AFTER I HAVE JUST BEEN SAVED BY GODBig booty (Sehun): also i am going to church this sunday. God really came in clutchIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): get ready to meet a snake thereBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): then leave out the sniffing part. Just say you thought you weirded him outBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): cause i mean you are weird regardless of the sniffingBig booty (Sehun): :(((((( im upsetBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): fuckign write it hoeBig booty (Sehun): i did :/Wednesday, 9:23 AMBig booty (Sehun): I am so happy :)))))))jd :3: what did he sayBig booty (Sehun): ok first he asked if i thought i weirded him out bc of the sniffing :((( i was devestated when i read it but he later wrote that he thought it was cute and that he would’ve done the same thing bc my hair always looks so fluffy ;-;--;-;-;-;Big booty (Sehun): did i mention how cute kyungsoo isBig booty (Sehun): he is the cutest smollest thing i ahve ever set my eyes on ogm i love him so muchBig booty (Sehun): he had the biggest smile on his face when he read that i wasn’t freaked by him or anythingBig booty (Sehun): he was glowing and glistening like the sun. he is so perfect and amazing and wonderful and fantastic and glorious. Ha-lle-lu-jah. Jesus loves me so muchIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): that’s all he said :/Big booty (Sehun): HE ASKED ME OUTBig booty (Sehun): HE WANTS TO GO SEE A MOVIE WITH ME ON FRIDAY IM!!jd :3: get it son ;)Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): best put ALLLLLLL the moves or i’ll bust a cap in yo assBig booty (Sehun): moves? Don’t you jsut sit and watch?IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): ummmmIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): noBig booty (Sehun): what do i doBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): put your arm around him and touch his hand in the popcornIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): give him a blow job in the backBig booty (Sehun): umBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): …jd :3: 0.oIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): have you never done that before?Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): no… i dont think any sane person would do thatjd :3: why would anyone ever do thatIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): yifan corrupted me i thought it was normalIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): fucking assholejd :3: you did that to him? WhyIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): I THOUGHT IT WAS JSUT SOMETHING YOU DIDBig booty (Sehun): i think im going to follow what chanyeol said. It seems more appropriate on a first date…Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): thank you :)Big booty (Sehun): kyungsoo’s ocming to sit next to me gtgIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): i really hope he gets the dickIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): 19 years is too long
Day 10: Kissing Fiasco
Friday, 11:32 PMBig booty (Sehun): I love life :)jd :3: :)))))) what happened on the date :3IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): dont fucking askIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): I was coming back to the dorm and i catch them too sucking faceBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): *twoIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): SHUT UPBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): oh what happened Mr Typo?IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): ANYWAYSIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): I’m waiting around the corner, it was like fifteen minutes after i first catch them, and they’re still at it???Big booty (Sehun): he’s an amazing kisserIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): YOU WOULFDNT FUCKING KNWO YOU ONLY KISSED JONGDAEIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): AND YOU WERE CHOKING ON HIS UPPER LIP YOU FUCKING TURKEY LEGBig booty (Sehun): asshole :(IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): SHUT UPIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): SOIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): AFTER KYUNGSOO IS GONE I GO IN OUR DORMIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): AND SEHUN IS FUCKING SCREAMINGIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): MY EARS WERE ABOUT TO BURST. DUDE GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK AND STOLE MY HEARING AT THE SAME TIMEBig booty (Sehun): IT WAS MY FIRST REAL KISSjd :3: so you don’t consider me to be your first kiss? :’) that’s okBig booty (Sehun): did we make out for half an hour :/jd :3: true thatBig booty (Sehun): he also asked me on another date for next friday :)))Big booty (Sehun): he wants to go to this steak restaurant. He said he loves steak and i said i loved steak too and his eyes lit up :’) im so happyBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): arent you vegetarianBig booty (Sehun): i love do kyungsooBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): :///Big booty (Sehun): he held my hand in the popcorn before i could do itBig booty (Sehun): and he lifted up the armrest bc he said he wanted to sit closer to meBig booty (Sehun): I’m cryinggggggBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): is he really crying baekIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): surprisingly yesBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): I’M COMING OVERBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): OPEN THE DOOR U ASSIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): FUCK YOURE QUICKjd :3: we live two dorms down……….IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): IM NOT OPENING THE DOOR UNTIL YOU CHANGE YOUR USERBaekhyun’s average dicc (Chanyeol): .IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): did you really have to leave after you took that pic :/ ihyBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): yes i didIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): FUCKKKKKjd :3: loljd :3: i like when you’re angryIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): DAE BEAT FUCKING CHANYEOL PELASjd :3: no my hands are too precious to touch trashBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): JONGDAEBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): HOW COULD YOUIT’S AVERAGE: VERBAL BEATING IS ALSO ACCEPTEDjd :3: lol i verbally beat him everydayBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): D;IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): I FUCGKGIN FORGOTjd :3: what?IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): I SAW SNAKE FACE AT LU’S PARTY TODAYIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): AND HE LOOKED FUCKING HOTIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): I HAVE NEVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE SEEN THIS MAN IN SOMETHING OTHER THAN KHAKIS AND CABLE SWEATERSIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): TODAY HE WAS FUCKIGN WEARINF THE TIGHTEST BLACK PANTS AND THE TIGHTEST SHIRTIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): YOU COULD SEE ALLLLLL HIS MUSCLESIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): I WOULD’VE CHEATED ON ME TOO IF JUNMYEON ALWAYS LOOKED LIKE THATIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): HE SAID HE WAS DRUNK, RIGHT?IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): FORGIVE AND FORGET AMIRIGHT ;)Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): who are youBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): i thought you said you’d shoved a knife up junmyeon’s ass next time you saw himBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): he dresses nice once and you want to fuck the shit out of him?IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): YOU ARE RIGHTIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): FUCK THAT SNAKEIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): RUINED MY GODDAMN RELATIONSHIPIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): even tho yifan was basically my sugar daddyIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): IT WAS STILL RUINEDBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): sugar daddy?Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): wtf did he ever buy youIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): you know my leather jacket :)Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): NO FUCKING WAY
Day 12: Church Boy
Sunday, 10:03 AMBig booty (Sehun): guess who i saw at church :)IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): a snakeBig booty (Sehun): :/
Day 16: Who was in your mouth?
Thursday, 5:48 PMIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): i hate myselfBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): don’t we allIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): i am a horrible personBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): what’s newIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): IIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): sucked junmyeon's dick at the cinemaBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): im blocking you on everythingBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): that’s wrong dude. Why? WtfBig booty (Sehun): i amBig booty (Sehun): disgustedIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): I JSUT SAW HIM THEREIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): it was half-price movie dayIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): and i saw him in the backIT’S AVERAGE: and i said that i forgave himIT’S AVERAGE: one thing led to another and he gave me a handjob to which i moaned “snake” tojd :3: oh my godIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): and then i sucked his dickIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): he changed so mcuh im so ugh!!!!IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): he’s so hot nowjd :3: doesn’t mean you have to whip it out. Shit manBig booty (Sehun): teach meBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): !!!!!Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): SEHUNBig booty (Sehun): I want to suck kyungsoo’s dick one dayBig booty (Sehun): and i want to be good at itjd :3: im disowning youjd :3: baekhyun’s a slut dont be like himjd :3: and an exhibitonistIT’S AVERAGE: WHAT’S WRONG WITH BEING LIKE MEjd :3: everythingBig booty (Sehun): i dont want to suck dick in a movie theater :////Big booty (Sehun): i want privacyjd :3: good, my sonjd :3: i hope u suck that dick well one dayBig booty (Sehun): i will one day ;-;Big booty (Sehun): I will make you proudBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): *gags*jd :3: dont hateBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): i live to hateBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): i live to be pettyBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): i live to prey on the happiness of others~Big booty (Sehun): okBig booty (Sehun): anywaysBig booty (Sehun): during statistics kyungsoo had his hand on my thigh the whole lecture :)Big booty (Sehun): i wanted to cryBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): crying again? :))))Big booty (Sehun): you already have a picture :////Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): umBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): i need more bc it’s the only time your face actually expresses an emotionBig booty (Sehun): I SMILEBig booty (Sehun): I GET ANGRYBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): ye but that’s likeBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): jsut your mouth and browsBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): idk how to explainBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): the rest of your face doesnt moveBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): it’s like you’ve had botoxBig booty (Sehun): ihyBig booty (Sehun): fall in a bitchBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): i will gladly fall into a bitchBig booty (Sehun): ******ditchBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): :*Thursday, 7:14 PMBig booty (Sehun): ahhhhh I was just with Kyungsoo rnBig booty (Sehun): he saw me in the library and he sat next to meBig booty (Sehun): he took my hand into his lap and started playing with my fingers. He was so cute. He was holding back a smile and he was blushing. I love him so muchBig booty (Sehun): he said he couldn't go on the date on Friday :((( but asked me to sleepover on Sunday so we could watch a movie and on Monday we could go out and eat :)))) everything was going great until he said “why did your friend suck my friend’s dick in a theater”Big booty (Sehun): u fuking ruined our relationship u ass. u thought he was a snake why did u suck him offBig booty (Sehun): he said junmyeon was upset about it :((( u just sucked him and leftBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): sleepover?IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): umm???IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): I gave him the best suck of his lifeIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): HE FUCKING WISHES I COULD SUCK HIS DICK AGAINBig booty (Sehun): don't fucking suck his dick againBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): why would you even consider thatIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): I HAVENT CONSIDERED THAT OMFGIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): IM JUST SAYING HE WANTS IT SO BADjd :3: im with him right now. want me to show him that?IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): NO EJDJDJSJ WHY WOULD DBSBJSJSJS NOjd :3: too bad :((((jd :3: I already did :((((IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): WHY WOULD YOU FUCKITNG DO THATIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): NOW I HAVE TO GO INTO HIDING. IM MOVING TO MEXICO AND CHNAGING MY NAME TO LUIS MIGUELBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): isn't there already a singer with that namejd :3: um actually junmyeon said he does want it 0.oIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): ...IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): tell him to text me rn
Day 20: Confession Time
Monday, 3:14 PMjd :3: Ijd :3: hate my life smBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): y?jd :3: I'm basically fucking Baekhyun and junmyeon’s personal messengerIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): I love how u capitalized my nameIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): Jongdae ;)jd :3: ://///////////////////////////////////////////////////Big booty (Sehun): what happened.jd :3: ugh I'm just going back and forth between the both of them since I have classes back to back with each one of them.jd :3: “tell baekhyun that I heart eyes him so much!!!”jd :3: “tell junmyeon i love him so much and that he is so cute!!!”jd :3: they’re goddamn annoyingjd :3: they suck each other off twice and suddenly they're in lovejd :3: I wouldn't believe it if I didn't see it with my own two eyesBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): yuckBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): u fucking hypocriteIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): :* hypocrisy got me a nice man so idcBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): don't u feel ashamedIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): not one bit ;)Big booty (Sehun): wth? Are u guys dating nowIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): yep yap yupIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): he practically threw himself at meIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): he came to our dorm after you left to have your “sleepover”. And he told me how much he thought after I sucked him. It was so romanticBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): very romantic. yesBig booty (Sehun): but it was a sleepover :(((IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): so basically after we sucked each other we fucked on your bed Sehun I'm sorry :)Big booty (Sehun): WHATIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): it's less lumpy than mine :)Big booty (Sehun): If you’re being serious I'm going to choke youIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): junmyeon already did that last night ;));;));););););)Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): grossssjd :3: I don'tjd :3: want to hear anymoreBig booty (Sehun): I'm going to throw upBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): I never want to use my eyes to read ever again. I wish I could unsee thatIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): too bad so sad :*jd :3: On to another topic, Sehun tell us about your “sleepover” with KyungsooBig booty (Sehun): DONT PUT IT IN QUOTATIONS IT WAS A SLEEPOVERjd :3: u rightjd :3: you’ll probably die a virginBig booty (Sehun): ihysmBig booty (Sehun): ANYWAYSBig booty (Sehun): we watched a movie and I started to get tired so I tried to rest my head on Kyungsoo’s shoulder but he's short so it started to hurtBig booty (Sehun): and I think he noticed bc he offered me his lapBig booty (Sehun): so for the rest of the movie my head was on his lap and he was playing with my hairBig booty (Sehun): he ran his fingers through it. it was so soothing ; — ;Big booty (Sehun): then he started playing with my ears and he traced my eyebrows and my noseBig booty (Sehun): my whole face practicallyBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): ahhhhh so domesticBig booty (Sehun): and then he asked if he could kiss me and I said yesBig booty (Sehun): and he gave me the sweetest chaste kiss I have ever received in my entire lifeIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): you've only kissed two peopleBig booty (Sehun): SHIT UPBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): ah, we’re shitting up again? No one explained to me what it was the first timeBig booty (Sehun): CHANYEOL SHUT UPBig booty (Sehun): back to the storyBig booty (Sehun): he kissed my neck and he kissed my eyelid and then my jaw and then he kissed the corner of my mouthBig booty (Sehun): and then fast forward to this morning and I wake up laying down on the couch with Kyungsoo spooning me from behindBig booty (Sehun): I have never loved life moreBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): ihyBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): I want that shit in my lifejd :3: you're just mad that girls never look at you :PBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): like girls look at you eitherjd :3: :////Big booty (Sehun): and you came onto my love life? byeBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): AT LEAST WE’VE HAD ONE NIGHT STANDSjd :3: with some very tipsy but consenting girlsjd :3: gotta respect whamenBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): shhhh that's not helping our casejd :3: don't matta sonjd :3: we still had our dicks in someoneBig booty (Sehun): I hate you allIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): so when are you two gonna fuckIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): junmyeon said next monthBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): I say next yearBig booty (Sehun): DONT BET ON MY LOVE MAKINGjd :3: I say he’ll die a virginIT’S AVERAGE: omg he calls it love makingBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): *gag*Monday, 5:57 PMBig booty (Sehun): our date is in half an hour and I still don't know what to wear (╯°□°）╯︵ /(.□. \) IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): I FUCKING left it out for you on your bed u assBig booty (Sehun): I WANT TO B R E A T H ON MY DATE THANK YOUIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): you can fucking breath with skinny jeans on hoeBig booty (Sehun): fine. Maybe the skinny jeans but not your fucking crop topIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): oh my god. I fucking cut my guns and roses shirt just for youBig booty (Sehun): I don't want to show that much skin ;-;-;-;-; it has no sleevesBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): baek come onBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): they're going to a steak houseIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): ummmm I just asked ksoo and he said its nothing fancy and that it’s fine :)Big booty (Sehun): WHATHWATATHWATAHAHDHDBBig booty (Sehun): ARE YOU AT HIS DORM WITH FUXKIGND JUNMYEON NONONOIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): :)Big booty (Sehun): KILL YOURSELFBig booty (Sehun): please kill yourself for me. play dead. dont speak to themIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): I've been holding out killing myself since I entered college. I'm not going to do it for you :)Big booty (Sehun): I hatttttteeeee my lifeeeeeeBig booty (Sehun): you better not have told him about how I had a breakdown in our dorm bc I'm so worried/excited about this dateIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): about to now brbBig booty (Sehun): kill me with that weeb swordBig booty (Sehun): someone do itjd :3: the katana chanyeol has?jd :3: I'll bring itBig booty (Sehun): THANK YOUBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): ITS NOT A FUCKING WEEB SWORD OMFGFGFMGjd :3: open up~Big booty (Sehun): he really brought it guysBig booty (Sehun): I cannot believeIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): Kyungsoo asked me to ask you if you want him to come over to comfort you. He doesn't want you to be worriedBig booty (Sehun): he is so sweet I love him so muchBig booty (Sehun): BUT ILL REALLY IMPALE MYSELF ON THIS WEEB SWORD IF HE COMESIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): he said thank you and that he likes you very very much <3Big booty (Sehun): YOU TOLD HIM THAT I SAID I LOVE HIM?!??!!Big booty (Sehun): IMPALINGBig booty (Sehun): MYSELFIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): you can't die before you impale yourself on Kyungsoo >^<jd :3: then he’ll die a virgin like I saidBig booty (Sehun): IM NOT A BOTTOMBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): ye u areBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): and it's not a weeb swordIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): JUST GET FUCKING READY FOR YOUR DATEIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): IF YOURE READY EARLY HE SAID HE’LL TAKE YOU OUT TO DO MORE SHITBig booty (Sehun): *is sonic*
Day 25: If You Can't Hold Your Liquor, Don't Drink
Saturday, 1:06 AMIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): [image]Big booty (Sehun): DID YOU FOLLOW US ON OUR DATEBig booty (Sehun): I HEAR YOU LAUGHING UNDER YOUR BEDSHEETSIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): :)IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): junmyeon thought it would be funny :)Big booty (Sehun): this is why you were demoted to just friendBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): :)IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): oh no! I am just Sehun’s regular friend, not best friend! What ever will I doBig booty (Sehun): ihyIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): that's actually a compliment, I don't have too many people hating meBig booty (Sehun): everyone on campus wants to beat you upIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): anywho :)IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): our young boy right here had ice cream dripping down his face and Kyungsoo fucking licks itBig booty (Sehun): STOPPPP you're making me embarrassedIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): FROM HIS NECK UP TO HIS CHINjd :3: our little boy is growing up :’)Big Booty (Sehun): shut up -////-Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): omg that's exactly your face. No emotion just redness. That’s the only way I’d tell if you were embarrassedBig booty (Sehun): I'm not that stoic :///IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): Kyungsoo’s pretty out there for a virginjd :3: whatBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): whatBig booty (Sehun): he's a virgin o.0?IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): yup. Joonmyeon told me and I was like HUH WHAT NOW. I thought he got ass all the timeIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): he dated like 6 people when we were freshman. How did he not sleep with any of them??jd :3: I guess that means Sehun’s not getting any ass either :)Big booty (Sehun): idc about getting assBig booty (Sehun): I'm so surprised. I didn't think thatBig booty (Sehun): :) I was jealous of all those guys for no reason :)Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): if u fucked him you'd be each other's firstsBig booty (Sehun): omg we would :)Big booty (Sehun): but I'm afraidBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): afraid of what? It's just a dick m8 jfcBig booty (Sehun): we’ve only kissedBig booty (Sehun): I haven't even touched him anywhereBig booty (Sehun): I don't know if we’re even boyfriendsBig booty (Sehun): does he consider me his boyfriendBig booty (Sehun): are we just going on datesBig booty (Sehun): what if these dates are just trials and he doesn't really like me he's just testing me to see if I'm boyfriend materialBig booty (Sehun): what if im not good enough to make the cutBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): shut your goddamn mouth upIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): WHAT’S KYUNGSOO’S LINE IMMA ADD HIM AND ASKBig booty (Sehun): he doesnt have a line account :)IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): fukkkIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): i’ll just tell jm to tell kyungsoo that you really really want him to make a line >^< perfect :)Big booty (Sehun): i would really kill youIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): kill me then :)IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): cause i did it :)IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): YO WTF DONT THROW YOUR PILLOW AT MEBig booty (Sehun): I DO WHAT I WANTIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): IM KEEPING ITBig booty (Sehun): no throw it back i want to sleep :(jd :3: im friends with idiotsBig booty (Sehun): just two idiotsIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): yes, you and yourselfBig booty (Sehun): you make me so upsetSaturday, 4:47 AM[IT’S AVERAGE has added dokyungsoo to the conversation]IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): sehun’s your boyfriend right?dokyungsoo: Did you make me create a line just to ask this?dokyungsoo: Also yes, he is my boyfriend. Why do you ask?Saturday, 9:39 AMSehun: Hi, Kyungsoo.dokyungsoo: Hello~ :)dokyungsoo: Do you normally chat on this app?Sehun: Yes I do.dokyungsoo: I’ll use it more often if you’d like.Sehun: I would like that. I use this app all the time because I’m in a group chat here and I like the emoticonsdokyungsoo: Yeah, they’re really cute but not as cute as you.Sehun: Stop you’re making me blush -///-dokyungsoo: Haha, that really looks like you.Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): DID I NOT SAY THAT SHITBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): I DID. DID I NOTdokyungsoo: Who’s this?Sehun: Chanyeol :) Hahaha. He is such a laugh ha :)dokyungsoo: I’ve never been in a group chat beforeBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): and you wont be in one for long :D tata~[Baekhyun’s small dicc has removed dokyungsoo from the conversation]Sehun: WHY DID YOU REMOVE HIM OMGGMBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): YOU TEXT FAKEBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): HE TEXTS FAKEBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): IT’S LIKE YOURE ROBOTSSehun: :(((((Sehun: I’m glad he has line now.Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): STOPSP ITITIT YOURE FREAKIGN ME OTUBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): CAHNGE BACK YORU USER AND SOTP TEXTING LIKE THAT YOU FUCKIGN WEIRDO OMGSehun: no :((( kyungsoo’s going to see :(((([IT’S AVERAGE has added dokyungsoo to the conversation]IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): sehun’s old user was Big booty before he changed it for you :)dokyungsoo: I know, you’ve sent me screenshots before.Sehun: !!!!!Sehun: this is utter betrayaldokyungsoo: Change it back I liked it.Big booty: :)dokyungsoo: Loldokyungsoo: I guess that’s my cue to leave, I suppose.[dokyungsoo has been removed from the conversation]Big booty (Sehun): I love himBig booty (Sehun): he accepts my ugly usernameIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): u think your username is ugly?IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): i wanna put mine back to baekstreet’s baek but i can’t bc of fuufcking chanyeolBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): my user only speaks the truthIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): my dickIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): is averageIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): im not going to lie and say it’s fucking humongousBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): i will never change itSaturday, 11:32 PMIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): i fuckign hate myself so mcuhIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): junnmyeob ha ets meIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): evryeofn heates meIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): im goihn to kill mysefljd :3: woah are you drunkIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): no!nooIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): yeseosIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): i am a bti intocicadtedgjd :3: shit you always do something stupid when you drinkIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): i ahd liek twoo beersIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): i didf goodIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): no baddfjd :3: sehun are you in your dorm?Big booty (Sehun): ye but baek isnt hereBig booty (Sehun): i thought he was still at the partyjd :3: baekhyun where are youIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): my gmas hous ejd :3: well that was no helpBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): I’ll try to look for himIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): 999999999999999999999Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): since im already out...jd :3: i will too. I dont want him off doing something he’ll regretIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): ahhhhh orangutanssn i lveo the monekisBig booty (Sehun): dae you wanna look together?jd :3: it’s better if we split upjd :3: im heading outBig booty (Sehun): cute rilakkuma loafers :)jd :3: shut up they were a giftBaekhyun’s small dicc: you’re welcomeSaturday, 11:46 PMBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): i cant think of anywhere he could be outside of schoolBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): where the fuck is heBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): i’ll beat him tf upjd :3: maybe we should check in schooljd :3: im pretty close so i’ll goBig booty (Sehun): i found junmyeon and he told me what happenedBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): what idiotic thing did he do this timeBig booty (Sehun): he kissed yixingjd :3: shitBig booty (Sehun): junmyeon told me that it was pretty intense but baek was moaning his name the whole timeIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): hipeppey yippeyesBig booty (Sehun): i think baek thought yixing was junBig booty (Sehun): anyways joonmyeon and baek make eye contact for a couple of seconds and then he just bolts. He didnt even say anything to joonmyeonBig booty (Sehun): jm said he understood and that he wont hold it agaisnt baek bc he was soooooo fucking shit facedBig booty (Sehun): jm thinks he drank like two bottles of vodkajd :3: dudejd :3: one shot gets baek drunkBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): i cant even imagineBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): we have to fucking find himSaturday, 11:57 PMjd :3: i found his sorry assBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): where is he?jd :3: he’s in the bathroom near the west entrancejd :3: his whole ass is submerged in toilet waterjd :3: all the toilet paper is on the groundjd :3: he’s singing row row row your boat with puke all over himjd :3: and he’s missing a shoeBig booty (Sehun): oh my god…Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): IM FUCKING NARUTO RUNNING I NEED THIS ON FILMBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): IM GONNA BLACKMAIL THE SHIT OUT OF HIMjd :3: don’t…jd :3: use it for blackmail. Let’s just keep it between usBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): gotcha daeBig booty (Sehun): do i tell jm where he isjd :3: nooooo. I dont want to ruin baek’s lifejd :3: also i really need help getting him off the toilet he just keeps screaming save the orangutans
Day 26: Resolving Matters
Sunday, 2:27 PMIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): what the fuck happened yesterdayIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): my head hurts so much i want to diejd :3: u got so fucking shit faced that you kissed yixingIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): UDKFUKKFUKKCKFUCKIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): I RMMEEBEREIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): I WAS SO CONFUSED WHEN I SAW JUNMYEON I THOUGHT HE HAD A TWINIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): HE PROBABLY HATES ME FORVEREEREREBig booty (Sehun): dude you’re okIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): ????IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): TF U MEAN IM OKIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): HE’S GOING TO BREAK UP WITH ME TODAYIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): I JSUT SAW A TEXT FROM THIS MORNING SAYING THAT HE WANTS TO MEET ME AT 3IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): MY FIRST REAL RELATIONSHIPIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): HE COULDVE BEEN MY SUGAR DADDYIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): BUT I LIKED HIM FOR HIM. I WANTED IT TO LASTIT’S AVERAGE: I SHOULDVE TAKEN HIS MONEY WHILE I COULDBig booty (Sehun): dude noBig booty (Sehun): I mean that he forgives youBig booty (Sehun): you forgave him for what he did to you with yifan so he did the sameIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): ah yesIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): now i have nothing to hold over his head when we get into arguments :(Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): ihysmIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): thanks boo :*Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): sehun just fcuking said that your boyfriend forgive you for technically cheating and all you think about is that now you dont have something to hold over his headIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): THAT TOOIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): jm is so sweetIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): so so sweetIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): he is the sweetestBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): if u say he’s sweet one more time im gonna gagIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): he’s soIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): sweet :)Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): [video]Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): so sweetIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): TF IS THATIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): WHAT AM I DOINGjd :3: i found you there like thatIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): IM GOING TO JUMP OUT THE WINDOWjd :3: into an orangutan’s arms?IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): et tu, jongdae?Sunday, 4:15 PMIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): everything is resolved between us~~IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): he knows my coffee order, he's so precious~~~Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): it’s 2/3 milk and 1/3 coffee plus 700 pounds of sugarBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): that’s not coffeeBig booty (Sehun): coffee is satan’s poisonIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): SHHHHH HE STILL KNOWS MY ORDERIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): ah sehun :)IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): we were talking about u :)Big booty (Sehun): i dont want my name to come out of your filthy, cocksucking mouthIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): you’re just jealous sweatheartIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): anywhoIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): jm told me that he’s being kicked out of the dorm the friday after next fridayIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): he said kyungsoo’s planning something special ;) i want to know all the deets ;)Big booty (Sehun): i didnt even know about that 0.oIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): DID I FUCKIGN SPOIL ITIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): I DID DIDNT IBig booty (Sehun): ogmgomggkm he just texted me rn asking to sleepover the week after next weekueydhkrrrerererereradrsgfjd :3: get itBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): if any domestic shit happens i dont want to hear itBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): noBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): nopeBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): not todayBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): not tomorrowBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): not everBig booty (Sehun): WELLLLLBig booty (Sehun): I will : )Big booty (Sehun): also i’ve been sorta upset over kyungsoo lately :/jd :3: why?jd :3: he is the most perfect, amazing, wonderful, astonishing, magnificent, stunning, breathtaking, fascinating, incredible, amazing, fantastic boyfriend in the whole wide worldBig booty (Sehun): are you mocking mejd :3: is it that obviousBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): yesBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): he’s the only person who uses that many adjectives in one sentenceBig booty (Sehun): i hate you guysjd :3: ugh okjd :3: why are you upset over himBig booty (Sehun): bc he hasnt told me that he loves meBig booty (Sehun): every time i text it he just says he likes me a lotBig booty (Sehun): but that’s not what i want him to sayjd :3: maybe he’s not ready to say itjd :3: he’s probably one of those people who’ll say it when the moment’s rightBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): it’s been two fucking weeksBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): since you started dating himBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): isn’t wanting him to say he loves you asking too muchBig booty (Sehun): UGH I DONT KNOWBig booty (Sehun): I DONT CAREjd :3: don’t rush him to say it before he’s readyjd :3: you haven’t said anything to him about it, right?Big booty (Sehun): i haventBig booty (Sehun): fuk u think i am bitchjd :3: goodjd :3: and if you call me a bitch one more time i’ll bust a cap so far up your ass you’ll lose chromosomesBig booty (Sehun): im sorry : (Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): ok so sehunBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): when you’re doing cute shit during that sleepover you two sixth graders are havingBig booty (Sehun): :(Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): say that you love himBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): you haven’t said it in person yet, right?Big booty (Sehun): noBig booty (Sehun): good ideaIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): say it after you suck his dickBig booty (Sehun): IM NOT GOING TO SUCK HIS DICK
Day 38: Sleepovers and More?
Saturday, 12:06 PMBig booty (Sehun): I am a new personBig booty (Sehun): I am never using any part of my body ever againBig booty (Sehun): I’m going to the dorm and I’m going to sleep eternallyIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): BETTER NOTIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): IM IN HERE WITH JUNMYEON AND WE’RE NAKEDBig booty (Sehun): jfcjd :3: what happenedBig booty (Sehun): IBig booty (Sehun): am not longer a boyBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): SEHUNSDJFKIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): BITCH DID HE FUCK YOU GWRIUDJSKLMXIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): TOLD YOU HE WAS A BOTTOMBig booty (Sehun): no :)IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): WHAHATTTTTT GOMGOM YOU FUCKED HIM GOGMGOMIT’S AVERAGE: I DIDNT THINK YOU WOULD OMGBig booty (Sehun): we switchedIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): AHHHHHH IM YELLINGIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): YOU GUYS ARENT AS VANILLA AS I THOUGHT YOU’D BEIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): SHIT OMGBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): U SNATCHED THAT ASS SO GOODBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): IM DOING THE TARZAN YELLjd :3: boi boi boi boi boi boi boi boi boi boiBig booty (Sehun): he was so gentleBig booty (Sehun): but when i fucked him he left claw marks!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fUckkkkkBig booty (Sehun): im proud of themBig booty (Sehun): i can wait until spring breakBig booty (Sehun): so i can take off my shirt at the beach and show every fucking bodyBig booty (Sehun): jesus is so goodBig booty (Sehun): it’s bc of that one time i went to church. thank you so very much oh holy lordBig booty (Sehun): tell jm to save me a seat next to him every sundayjd :3: im so happy for you :3Big booty (Sehun): and it wasn’t even the best partIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): WHAT WAS THE BEST PARTIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): DID HE FUCK YOU IN THE BATHROOM?IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): ON THE ROOFTOPIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): IIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): WANTIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): TOIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): KNOWIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): ASAPBig booty (Sehun): why is everything you think of sexualIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): eye lyke 2 fukBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): gross, please don’t text like thatBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): sehun what happeeennnnedBig booty (Sehun):: he told me that he love me!!!!! I’m so happy just thinkgin about it ogmgom :)))Big booty (Sehun): also it’s our 1 month anniversary and i didnt realize o-0Big booty (Sehun): dont tell him thatBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): i took a screenshot :)Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): also im so happy for you!!!!!!Big booty (Sehun): he said it before i didBig booty (Sehun): that’s what took me by surpriseBig booty (Sehun): after we were doneBig booty (Sehun): we were lying down facing each other and he ran his hand through my hair and told me that he loved me :’)Big booty (Sehun): I love this manBig booty (Sehun): and you all said he’d never notice meBig booty (Sehun): well how about a big: FUCK YOUjd :3: that’s bc you had no classes with him freshman yearjd :3: and you only saw him bc you went to the cafeteria at the same time :/Big booty (Sehun): DOESNT MATTERBig booty (Sehun): HES MINE AND HE LOVES MEBig booty (Sehun): SO SUCK ITIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): is there anything TO suck, monsieur tiny dick?Big booty (Sehun): fuck you
Day 50: Spring Break and Goodbyes
Thursday, 11:11 AMBig booty (Sehun): ah we’re boarding the planeBig booty (Sehun): kyungsoo said for you guys to take of yourselves over breakjd :3: he is so sweetjd :3: love that guyBig booty (Sehun): that’s why he’s my boyfriend ;)IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): I hope your plane crashes before you get to jejuIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): fucking slimey toeBig booty (Sehun): you’re just jealous i’m not taking you anywhereBig booty (Sehun): you’re gonna be so sad and lonely staying in seoul :( boohooBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): WHAT ABOUT MEBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): YOU COULD’VE TAKEN MEBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): MY MOM IS GOING TO FORCE ME BACK HOMEBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): I JSUT WANT TO GO TO THE BEACH WIHT MY FRIENDSBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): BEING WITH MY MOM IS MORE TORTURE THAN BEING IN SCHOOLBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): AND MY SISTER’S GOING HOME TOO I WANT TO DIEBig booty (Sehun): but is itBig booty (Sehun): my problem :)Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): ok so you dont want my mom’s cookies? AlrightBig booty (Sehun): YESBig booty (Sehun): YES I WANT THEM THEYRE SO GOOD AND AMAZINGBig booty (Sehun): IM SO SORRY FORGIVE MEBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): that’s right bitch :)jd :3: i’ll go over if you give me someBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): COME RNBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): DONT LET ME BE ALONEBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): ILL GIVE YOU 2168378 COOKIESjd :3: i am on my way~jd :3: cookies make me so happyBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): i like you happy :)Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): u are so smoljd :3: i’ll bite uBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): like a chihuahuajd :3: ok im not comingBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): I WAS JOKING IT WAS A JOKE PLEASE COME AND SAVE ME FROM MY FAMILYjd :3: eh fineIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): I’m just glad I get to spend break with jmIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): bc apparently kyungsoo ditched jm to be with youIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): but im not complainingIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): we get to fuck more B)))Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): can u…Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): shut the hell upIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): no it’s not in my programming :)Big booty (Sehun): i have to turn my phone off nowBig booty (Sehun): i’ll text you guys after we landBig booty (Sehun): bye, i love you guys so much~Big booty (Sehun): im going to miss youBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): BYE!!! WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH SEHUNNIE~~~!!! <3IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): speak for yourself, uglyjd :3: i’ll miss you so much. Ily!Big booty (Sehun): bye everyone. i’ll see you after break~IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): im gonna miss that fartjd :3: me too ;-;Baekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): oh my godBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): and u said to speak for myselfBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): BUT YOU LOVE SEHUNNIE TOO. SO SWEETIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): i’ll kill youjd :3: sehun and kyungsoo are really a great couplejd :3: they’re so innocent unlike other people *cough*IT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): ARE YOU SAYING ME AND JM ARENT INNOCENTIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): I’LL CASTRATE YOUIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): I’LL MAKE YOU A EUNUCHjd :3: i didn’t say it WAS you. You made an assumption :)jd :3: anyways, i hope sehun and kyungsoo last a long timejd :3: they’re really perfect for each otherBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): ah yesBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): they really areBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): they’re my childrenjd :3: chanyeol whatBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): i am their daddyjd :3: CHANYEOLBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): i have jumped shipBaekhyun’s small dicc (Chanyeol): i ship my sonsIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): chanyeol shut the fuck up you’re being weirdIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): so anywhoIT’S AVERAGE (Baekhyun): when do you think sehun’s gonna suck his dick