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Chapter 1. Two Years Later The Arizona sun beat down on Ben Wade’s face. God, it felt good to be outdoors again. The heat, the dust, and the arid air – he had a newfound appreciation for them all. Even the damn cows. But what he appreciated most was standing in the shade of a tree, holding the reins of both their horses. Ben walked over until he was standing right behind him. He knew Dan wouldn’t turn around. He reached out and a hand immediately caught his wrist just as he was about to touch Dan’s hip. “Not here,” Dan’s low voice said. “They might see.” “The cows aren’t going to mind.” At this, Dan did turn around and gave him a stern look. “I mean, my boys. They could come over that ridge at any moment.”Wade looked him straight in the eye. He could’ve pushed it. He was used to getting what he wanted, and he was good at pushing Dan’s buttons. Instead he backed off. Dan’s resistance was always part of the fun. If he hadn’t been recovering for…how long had it been? One week? Two? Well, if he hadn’t been recovering for that long, he might’ve grown tired of the game. Might’ve just taken what he wanted. It’d been a long enough wait. Although he wasn’t a hundred percent, he certainly felt up to the challenge. Still, when he remembered his words that morning and the look on Dan’s face: “Ben Wade, ranch hand. Free of charge,” he almost smiled. It was true he was glad to be outdoors. It was true he didn’t expect any payment for herding cattle. At least, not monetary payment. Dan could pay him in other ways. That thought, coupled with Dan’s stubbornness suddenly made him want to shoot something.Ben turned around and scanned the rocky horizon behind them. As if on cue, Dan’s sons appeared and made their way down the ridge with the younger one in front. “Pa! Pa!” Mark called excitedly, when they were within earshot. “We found her!” “Slow down, Mark,” Dan said. “Where is she?” “She’s just over the ridge,” Mark replied. “Found a patch of shade.” “She lying down?” “Not yet.” It was William who answered. “But she’s breathing hard and she looks real uncomfortable. She ain’t gonna make the trip back.”“That’s clear enough,” his father agreed, looking at the ground for a moment. When he lifted his head, there was a decisive look in his eyes. “Right. You boys bring the herd back. Don’t drive’em too hard. Wade and I’ll stay out here to look after the heifer. We’ll be back tomorrow.” Dan glanced at Wade as he finished speaking, but the other man’s face was impassive. William, he noted, had been staring at Wade the entire time he spoke, and for a moment he thought his son was going to object. But William managed to hold his tongue as he slid off his horse to speak to his father privately. Wade discreetly turned his back and took a few steps away. “It’s gonna be fine, William,” Dan said in a low voice, anticipating his son’s objection. “He’s still dangerous, Pa,” William countered. “You shouldn’t be out here alone with him.” “I’d rather he be out here with me than going back with the two of you,” Dan replied. He could see William bristle at his words so he quickly continued, “I know you can take care of yourself. But what about your brother? Besides, he’s not gonna gut me while I sleep.” William remained silent. “We ain’t holding him prisoner,” Dan reminded him. “He can leave anytime he wants.” “So, why don’t he?” William hissed back. “What’s he still doing here? Why’d he come here anyways?” “This ain’t the time or place for those questions,” Dan said. “You bring your brother back. He’s got school tomorrow and I’ll see you both later in the day.” William gave Wade’s back a long look before he nodded and mounted his horse. “C’mon, Mark,” he said. “G’bye, Pa,” Mark called. “Good-bye, Mr. Wade.” Wade looked to his right and tipped his hat to acknowledge Mark’s farewell. Even he had to admit there was something endearing about that kid. Two years had passed since he’d last seen him, but Mark still hadn’t lost his youthful innocence, an optimism that the world was a good place despite the hardships he’d seen and the rough hand he’d been dealt. As for William, now that was another story. William was a man now and he bore his responsibilities like one. The hero-worship that Wade had once seen in his eyes had disappeared. In its place was a hardened reality, a wariness of the outlaw that had disrupted his family, and sometimes, just sometimes, a thinly veiled hostility. His father had almost died two years ago because of Wade and William was never gonna forget that.“We best get over that ridge and see how that heifer’s doing,” Dan said to him as he brought their horses over. “You ever seen a calf being born, Wade?” he asked as he tossed Wade the reins of his mount. “Can’t say I’ve had the pleasure, Dan.” “Then I guess it’s your lucky day.”
* * * * *
They made camp at the base of the ridge and Wade soon found out that watching a heifer give birth was just that – a whole lot of watching. Dan said that they wouldn’t intervene unless she got into trouble. They found her under the shade of a tree where there was a patch of grass as Mark had said.“It’s gonna be a while,” Dan noted. “Her water’s not broken yet.” “In that case, I’ll hunt some dinner before the light gets too low.” Wade turned away before Dan could say anything but the other man’s voice stopped him. “You want to use my rifle?” Dan asked, keeping his gaze on the heifer. “It’s better for long shots.” “Kind of you to offer, Dan,” Wade replied. “I accept. You still have your pistol?” Dan nodded, and Wade went to the camp to get Dan’s rifle. When he returned over an hour later with three jackrabbits, the heifer’s water had broken and she was lying down. “Her water broke not too long ago. She’s into hard labor now,” Dan informed him. “How long does that take?” “Should be about an hour. Maybe two since this is her first time. Any more than that and she’s in trouble.” Dan glanced at the jackrabbits. “Good hunting?” “They’re a little skinny for my liking,” Wade admitted. “But we won’t starve.” Dan suppressed a smile as Wade gave the heifer a look over before heading back to the camp. From there he kept an eye on Dan and his charge as he set to making a fire. The sun had already set and the air had grown cooler. Then Wade began skinning the rabbits. During this time, he noticed that the heifer would occasionally stand up and then lay down again. From the short distance, Wade could tell she was visibly distressed but Dan didn’t move from his spot and kept his gaze steady. When two of the rabbits were on a spit, Wade headed back to the tree. “Can’t she make up her mind? Stand up or lie down?” Dan chuckled. “She’s doing fine. See the front feet and the head sticking out? The calf’s facing the right way.” From the light of the fire Dan had made nearby Wade could clearly see the front feet and the head of the calf and it wasn’t a pretty sight. Yet there was something undeniably fascinating about it, something completely removed from his life. This is Dan’s life he thought, glancing to his right. Beside him, Dan’s full concentration was on the heifer and Wade could appreciate the play of the light on the other man’s face. Dan was healthier, fitter, the planes on his face not quite so gaunt. Things were going better for him now and it showed. Wade turned his attention back to the heifer, whose labored breathing seemed magnified. He couldn’t explain it but in this moment, standing next to a man whom he’d met in another life, he felt that elusive peace. That is, until Dan interrupted his thoughts.“You’re gonna burn our dinner if you don’t get back.” Their dinner did not turn out burned, as Dan had predicted, although Wade had to admit that their jackrabbits were a tad crispier on one side. Dan refused to eat until the entire birth was done, which meant another thirty minutes for the mother to clean her newborn calf and a couple of tries for the calf to stand up in order to feed. Only when the calf was suckling its mother was Dan satisfied. Wade, on the other hand, did not stand for such niceties, and he had already finished eating and was contentedly leaning against his saddle when Dan finally came to the camp. Wade had left his jackrabbit over the low burning fire to keep it warm. “Well, I declare,” Dan said after his first bite. “I never would’ve pegged you for the domestic type.”“I’m just full of surprises.” “Yes, you are.” They fell into a companionable silence as Dan ate, Wade unabashedly observing the other man. He knew his scrutiny would make Dan uncomfortable, forcing him to break the silence, which Dan did. “Is it so interesting watching another man eat?” “I like what I see.” The reply almost made Dan choke and he glared at Wade who only smiled in return. The rancher quickly regained his composure and thought of a better way to strike back. “So, what’s next for you, Wade?” he inquired casually. “Now that you’re almost healed?” Wade cocked his head to the right. It was the question he’d been avoiding but certainly couldn’t stop thinking about as he got better day after day. “That’s a good question, Dan,” he said. “That’s not exactly an answer, Wade.” “No, it isn’t,” Wade chuckled. “You at least gonna tell me how you got hurt? What you’ve been up to? It’s been two years and it’s like you fell off the face of the earth. Then you wind up here, shot, beaten, half-dead. For somebody layin’ low, you got yourself into an awful mess.”Wade remained silent. The mischievous twinkle had disappeared from his eye and his face became pensive in the firelight. He owed Dan an explanation. He owed Dan a lot more than that but an explanation was a start. “Well, Dan,” Wade finally said, “I guess I have a story to tell.” The story Dan heard seemed to come right out of a Dime novel, which wasn’t all that surprising given the teller of the tale. While he had been lying at death’s bed, Wade had escaped from Yuma prison for the third time. It hadn’t taken him long to gather another outfit together and resume his life of gambling and thieving. But after a few months, a restlessness had come over him. He wasn’t satisfied doing what he was doing, and truth be told, he hadn’t been satisfied in a long time. Here Wade paused and looked at Dan steadily. “Sometimes,” he said, his voice dropping into that seductive lilt. “It takes a particular encounter to remind yourself of what you’re missing.” Dan held his gaze. “And what are you missing, Wade?” “I’m still figuring that out.” Wade broke eye contact and the tone of his voice changed, resuming his more light-hearted narrator’s voice. “I wanted a change of pace,” he explained. “Something quieter, something different.” “That shouldn’t have been too hard,” Dan ventured. “No,” Wade agreed, “except for the fact that I’m a wanted outlaw. Men like me don’t choose retirement, Dan. It’s usually forced upon us.”“That may be so, but you managed to disappear. You must’ve done something right. And wrong,” he added, remembering Wade’s state when Mark had found him. Wade laughed. “You’re right,” he agreed. “And wrong.” “What’s that supposed to mean?” “It means I traveled ‘round a lot, movin’ from one small town to another, tryin’ to keep a low profile. Not a very glamorous life for an outlaw,” he joked. “Neither was it the change of pace I had in mind. Then one day I realized I was back in Arizona. I think,” Wade said thoughtfully. “I think a part of me was heading back here all along.” He paused. “You know Cottonwood?” “’Course,” Dan answered. “It’s a small town not too far from here.” “That’s right. And in this small town there lives…lived,” Wade corrected himself. “A kindly man by the name of Slade. Now Slade had his own colorful past, the kind of colorful past that would make him sympathetic to a man like me, which is why he took me in.” “You tellin’ me you been livin’ in Cottonwood all this time?” “I ain’t just been livin’ in Cottonwood,” Wade replied, enjoying Dan’s incredulity. “Been learnin’ a trade.” “A trade?” Dan repeated, his disbelief growing. “Carpentry. Turns out I like building things. And working with my hands. That’s the kind of change I been looking for.” “Let me get this straight,” Dan said, trying to wrap his head around this part of Wade’s story. “You left a life of thievin’ to become a carpenter in Cottonwood?” “That about sums it up.” Dan was quiet for a moment. Then he let out the sort of laugh that Wade hadn’t heard in much too long. Dan was still laughing as he said, “That’s some story, Wade.” “All the more remarkable for it being true.” Dan’s laughter died away as the seriousness of Wade’s tone and the expression on the other man’s face quieted him. “Still don’t explain how you got injured,” he said at last. “Being a carpenter in a little town like Cottonwood shouldn’t be hazardous to your health.”Now it was Wade’s turn to laugh but unlike Dan’s good humor, his laugh rang with bitterness. “The past always manages to catch up with you, Dan,” he said. “Even in the most unlikely of places.” Suddenly, Wade was on his feet. It was a quicker and smoother action than Dan thought would be possible for him. Like a great cat, he noted as he watched Wade walk towards him. With probably the same number of lives, he added wryly. “I’ve done enough storytelling for one night,” Wade said, stopping in front of Dan. “It’s your turn.” Dan shrugged. “Haven’t got a story to tell,” he said offhandedly. “Nothin’ you haven’t been able to see for yourself. Besides,” he added, looking up at the other man. “You’re just getting to the best part.”“And you know what they say,” Wade replied, taking a few steps astride Dan before easing himself into the other man’s lap. “Save the best for last.” Dan remained perfectly still, giving no outward reaction to their sudden closeness. Inwardly, he was aware that his heart had begun to beat faster and a part of him that he had fought hard to bury was becoming aroused. “You see, Dan,” Ben continued, the seductive lilt returning. “When I told you this morning that I would be your ranch hand ‘free of charge,’ I don’t think you understood what I meant.” “No?” Dan asked, his resolve weakening. “No,” Ben shook his head. “I meant that you could pay me in other ways.” “What did you have in mind?” “We could start with this.”Before Dan knew it Wade had captured him in a kiss. One of the things Dan had learned at the bridal suite in Contention was that Ben Wade did not go for closed mouth kissing. Wade liked kisses to be wet and hot, as if he would consume you. What was true then was still true now. Dan secretly admired Wade’s aggression. He always knew how to get what he wanted, but Dan had an agenda of his own and no sooner had Wade ended the kiss when Dan said, still breathless, “What happened in Cottonwood?” Wade appeared amused by this, but his reply was quite clear. “Payment’s not done yet, Dan. Turn around.” “No.” Dan’s stubbornness gave no room for argument and Wade’s amusement grew. “What’s the matter, Dan?” “I want to be able to ride tomorrow,” Dan said, almost as an appeasement. “And so should you.” “Can’t take a little pain?” Wade’s words were teasing, but there was also a slight menace behind them. “With you, Wade,” Dan said, not backing down. “It’s more than just a ‘little’ pain.”Dan was aware that he was playing a dangerous game and before Wade could think of his next move, Dan had grabbed his head, yanking it backwards and reversing their positions so that he had Wade pinned on the ground. Then he leaned in and gave Wade a slower, more leisurely kiss; languid and sweet like molasses. “This is definitely your better side, Dan.” Dan leaned forward again, hands on either side of Wade’s body but not quite near enough for Wade to kiss him. “What happened in Cottonwood?” he asked again. Irritation flashed across Wade’s eyes but he would not be deterred. He reached up but Dan caught his wrists. Now this was more resistance than he had in mind, but he knew how to handle the rancher. “It’s called quid pro quo, Dan,” he said, playing into the rancher’s game. “You have to give something too.”Dan eyed him thoughtfully before letting go of Wade’s wrists and moving down his body. “Cottonwood,” he demanded, even as he set to unbuckling Wade’s holster and undoing his pants. “This story goes back much further than Cottonwood,” Wade mused. Dan stopped and looked at the other man warily. Wade took the opportunity to sit up and grab Dan’s face with both his hands, running one thumb over Dan’s cheekbone. “Finish what you started, rancher,” he said. “And I’ll tell you what you want to know.” The last thing Wade was aware of as he lay back down on the hard earth was the heat that engulfed him and the blood rushing to his head.