Work Text
Rule
#1
The Senkaimon is to only be used by Soul Reapers
(Kinda learned that one the hard way)
(I ended up in the Dangai)
(Let me tell you, that place is freaking scary!)
Rule
#2
The Garganta is for Hollow and Arrancar use ONLY!
(Central 46 is really touchy about this)
(You risk being called a traitor)
(Old farts)
Rule
#3
Soul Pills are not toys
(They are strictly to be used while in a Gigai)
(But why make the dispensers so cute?)
(Oh, right)
(Blame the SWA)
Rule
#4
Don't insult Rukia's Chappy drawings
(She doesn't have her brother's skill)
(She hits hard)
Rule
#5
Same goes for her badly drawn explanations
(I swear I'm going to end up with brain damage)
(Or bruises)
Rule
#6
When changing, make sure Kon is out of the room
(I lost track of how many times I found him spying)
(It gets old real fast)
Rule
#7
Do not encourage Dr. Kurosaki
(The man doesn't need it)
(Ichigo gets mad)
(It's pure chaos)
Rule
#8
Hitting Ururu is NOT allowed
(I'm looking at you Jinta!)
(Stop hitting her!)
Rule
#9
Do your chores when you're told
(Again!)
(Looking at you Jinta!)
(Stop making Ururu do them!)
Rule
#10
The brooms are for cleaning, not for playing baseball
(Jinta!)
(Enough already!)
(We cannot keep replacing the brooms!)
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Rule
#11
When working at the shop, always check the labels
(We really don't need a repeat with the mod souls again)
(Kon is enough of a problem to deal with)
(Poor Ururu was so upset about that)
(Jinta didn't help matters)
(As always)
Rule
#12
Don't touch Urahara's hat
(Man is so protective of his hat)
(He looked ready to cry when Ichigo killed it)
(R.I.P. Hat)
Rule
#13
Do not randomly charge at a Hollow
(It's a good way to get yourself killed)
(Ichigo never learns)
(How is he not dead from all the blood he's lost every fight?)
(The world may never know)
(Well, Kurostuchi may be able to find out)
(But we're not going to ask him)
Rule
#14
When not in use, Gigais are to be properly stored away
(Or else they get dirty)
(We end up losing them)
(Just a huge mess we can deal without)
Rule
#15
In regards to rule
#14
, do not stage your empty Gigai like a dead body
(I really shouldn't have to explain this one)
(It causes panic)
(Especially when left out in the middle of the road)
(It causes accidents)
Rule
#16
Do not attempt to keep a Hollow as a pet
(...You'd have to be some kind of stupid to attempt this one)
Rule
#17
The underground training room is for training only
(Not parties)
(or sleepovers)
(Or sexy times, Kisuke)
(Dirt gets everywhere)
(And it's tedious to clean off afterwards)
Rule
#18
Do not ask directions from Zaraki
(The man has a HORRIBLE sense of direction)
(He wants to fight half the time)
(And we never get anywhere)
Rule
#19
Don't ask Yachiru either
(I'm starting to wonder)
(Maybe she's the reason Zaraki's always late)
(She is the one telling him which way to go)
Rule
#20
Do not lift Yourichi up in the air like Simba
(She doesn't like it)
(Kisuke got all scratched up)
(It was funny though)
(Soi Fon actually bowed down)
(Don't tell her I took pictures)