Archive of Our Own

Work Text

I had no idea how something like this could have happened. How could a fun, careless Night, dedicated to the celebration of my best friend's birthday turn into something nightmares are made of.No exaggeration.That was the question I had to ask myself when I woke up with a pounding headache, in a foreign apartment, only a sheet covering my otherwise naked body. Not even mentioning the man with dirty blonde, shaved hair and dermals above his eyebrows that lied softly snoring beside me. My eyes widened at the sight. I just knew I had to get out of here as fast and as quiet as humanly possible.So I started silently wiggling my way out of the bed, frantically searching for my clothes that were scattered along the kitchen island in the dark apartment, only stopping when I heard a noise from the bed. Freezing, I turned around, just to find that the bed`s occupant had shifted onto his side, still peacefully sleeping. Pulling on my pants and t-shirt, not bothering with the shoes in my hand I dashed out of the front door, praying to an unknown force that he would no longer know who he`d spent the night with. . . .Lunchtime was a quiet affair at our otherwise so lively table. I lowered myself in a seat beside my hungover best friend Belle, who had hosted the fatal party last night and convinced me Tequila was my new best friend. Thinking about it, I decided both, the amity transfer and the drink, encouraged me to the seduction of men you should always stay away from. Uriah, Marlene and Lynn had already finished their breakfast and headed towards their shifts after saying goodbye, while Tris and Christina shared a table with Will at the other side of the cafeteria.Despite being a year younger we all had bonded immediately when Bell and I arrived at the compound. "Where the hell have you been, Amy? Do you know that Carter had to hold my hair last night? I mean, what happened to our vows, you know where we swore to take care of each other?"Belle whined, while I snorted. "You mean those vows you had me reciting to you just because you knew you could guilt trip me into cleaning up after you? Yeah, that's real friendship right there, taking advantage of Abnegation upbringing", I replied sarcastically. "Besides if you`d really believe in them you would have never let me make a mistake like that one last night." I added whispering. Belle`s head shot up. "What are you talking about? What did you do?" But just as I wanted to tell her to keep her curiosity to herself until we`d be alone, the last person I wanted to see this morning took a seat opposite of me. Well, maybe not the last person. For all I know he still slept, peacefully unaware of the deeds we committed last night."Who the hell are you and what have you done to my babysitters?" Four otherwise also known as Toby threw me his no-nonsense, Instructor glare. I flinched. He couldn't know, could he..? No, I´d be dead and buried by now for sure... "I mean, come on?! Half a bottle Tequila doesn't suit you Amelia. Just like making a fool out of yourself in front of half of the faction. You are aware that all of the leaders saw your little stunt, aren`t you?""The hell are you talking about? What do you mean? And stop calling me Amelia, it`s Amy!", I replied harshly, for once not backing down. „Well, Amy, I´m sure table dancing on top of the bar, in front of the leaders is another way to make sure to be stuck in the infirmary doing birth control shots instead of doing real work for the rest of your life." I blanched, not being able to recall yesterday night`s events. Everything was a blur of dancing, drinking, flirting... passionate kisses on the dancefloor, grey eyes glistening dangerously, big, calloused hands gripping my bare thighs…A cough from beside me brought me out of my reverie. Blushing like mad I glared at my brother. "Yeah? Like creeping on people and staring at screens all day is any better, just makes you a weirdo. Besides it's a lot more than just those shots and you know that. Remind me not to wrap your hands again after you beat someone senseless, then you will see how much we nurses really help you knuckleheads. Why don't you go over joining Tris and Christina? I`m sure they would just love your happy-go-lucky-attitude this fine morning." I got up and made my way to the doors leading to the pit, before turning around, shouting "At least I know how to have fun, Four." With a salute, I stormed through the doors, right into a firm chest.Strong, strangely familiar arms grabbed my waist, saving me from falling onto the hard, cold cave floor. "You know just a few hours I wouldn't have believed you, but I think you were able to prove me wrong. The former stiff, not as stiff as she seems, wouldn't you agree, love?" An amused voice and steely grey eyes, that could only belong to one person mocked me. Dangling a silver chain with a plain locket in front of my face he continued speaking."However I love to keep trophies of my recent requests, I do believe you left it this morning, when you fled out of my apartment like a bat outta hell. And it looked quite important so I brought it back, like the genuinely nice person that I am." I snatched it out of his hand, blushing furiously again, I hid my face beneath my long, auburn hair. I mean, really, what is wrong with me today?"It is. It's my mother's locket." I replied, running my fingers over the smooth surface. "Well, that's just great for you. Bye Amelia" he said offhandedly, making his way into the mess-haul, but not before throwing over his shoulder "And if it that thing means something to you, don't forget it in a foreign flat again. No matter how much you crave to see the owner once more." And with an arrogant smirk he made his way to the platform, where the leader`s table was at. Staring at his retreating back I came face-to-face with my dumbstruck best friend."Tell me you didn't! Oh no, if Four finds out… I don't even know what he`s going to do. I mean you basically spent the night with his greatest foe. Even if no one these days says foe anymore. Oh god, I don´t want to bury my best friend! What's the verdict for treason? I´m going to call Candor." she rambled wide-eyed, before glancing around and adding in a hushed whisper "Was it any good?" That put me out of my shock."Not here", I hissed, grabbing her arm, dragging her behind me to my apartment, to without a doubt relive a blurry night of passion, shared with a leader of my chosen faction, with my brother`s biggest enemy and archrival.Eric Coulter

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The next few weeks flew by as the whole compound prepared for the arrival of the new Initiates. Zeke had to work long hours at the control room, while my brother was attending countless meetings dedicated to changes in the initiation process. After all the 18-year-olds would once again choose their new faction at the choosing ceremony.A few days after the scene he made in the cafeteria, Tris dragged my brother to my small apartment where he then grouchily apologized for in his words "being an overprotecting, loving brother". Me, being myself, I wasn't able to stay mad at him. Not after everything he did to protect me from our excuse of a father.And because I made a vow to myself to stay as far away, from everything Tequila-related, as I could, he had no reason to scold me like a child again.No one, expect Eric, Belle and myself knew of the true measures of my escapades. That's at least what I thought. After Toby left for work, Tris cornered me in the kitchen, besides my fridge, warning me to stay away from Eric. She was working a shift at the control room that evening, so she saw me tumbling through the door, my lips attached to Eric's. But being like the big sister I never had, she promised to not tell Toby, while reassuring me she was able to delete the footage just shortly after it was recorded.Now there was no trace left of our night.Especially because Eric went back to being the arrogant asshole everyone knew and most despised. Contrary to the public belief he wasn't one to pick up random women at the bar, making me wonder why he did so with me. Not that I was one to pick up guys. God, that couldn't be more far away from the truth.I've only had a boyfriend once. His name was James. He defected from candor one year after my brother and came in being seventh in ranking.We met when I was still going through initiation two years ago and dated for half-a-year, before he decided that I wasn't as fun as the salesgirl from the clothing shop and dumped me for her. When Christina, who was her superior, found out, she gave her a really hard time, despite my protest, claiming she was a "selfish bitch" and deserved it.After thinking long and hard about why Eric choose me to introduce to his more than impressive skills I came to the conclusion that he did it out of spite against my brother, for he would surely be furious if he ever found out.Not that I`m ugly or something like that. I just don't see myself as the type that would intrigue Eric much. My long auburn hair, usually pulled into a ponytail, because bending my locks would be punishment enough, while my grey eyes contradicted the dark blue ones of my brother, I found myself at an average height of 5 inches 4, while being on the skinnier side, despite all the training they had us doing. I would call myself pretty average, while Christina described the play of colors in my hair and eyes as "intriguing".So the first option it is.Thinking about my brother finding out, I shivered. Let me tell you, an angry Four is truly frightening. I ever saw him like this just once, when some guy tried to drag Tris away, while the rest of us sat oblivious at the bar, drinking and joking as usual.Not once making a sound while fighting, he sent the guy to the infirmary, where he had to spend two weeks before being discharged. After that I knew exactly what the phrase "deadly calm" meant....And the infirmary was where I was headed now, at two in the morning after being paged about a factionless riot that left at least 15 of our soldiers wounded.To make sure that the staff would be able to reach the infirmary from their apartments in under 10 minutes, all of us lived close by, at a floor dedicated just to us nurses and the few doctors erudite would send us.Being a nurse here almost equaled being a doctor. Because erudite refuses to let anyone outside their faction into their schooling program for doctors, the doctors themselves did their best to teach us anything and everything that could come in handy. How one could be so greedy of knowledge would forever be behind me.So all of us were able to perform surgery without being dependent on a doctor. That was important because they were not always able to be here when needed.When I swung open the doors to the infirmary I was greeted with chaos. At least two dozen nurses and three doctors tended to what looked like a little less than 20 soldiers. One of the patrols was ambushed when they investigated strange noises coming from a warehouse.Because luckily most factionless don't have guns, a lot of the guys that were wounded only have laceration or cuts from a knife or other stuff.I immediately started helping one of the nurses to stich up a knife wound, when I heard loud voices coming out of one of the closed-of rooms that were normally reserved for the heavier wounded."Sir, with all respect, you have to sit down. We have to look at it to make sure it doesn't get infected and that no major artery is scraped. You have to sit down or we will have no other choice than to sedate you."I arrived at the threshold just to hear the calm, but deadly sounding response. "Are you threatening me, nurse? I'm sure you heard stories about people who tried. And let me tell you, not one did like the outcome of it."I shivered. That voice…Before the attending nurse could mutter her response, I decided to help her out of her misery and stepped into the room. "Let me take over here, Millie. You can leave. Please sit down. Let me have a look at it, Eric."Millie smiled at me gratefully and almost ran out of the room without saying so much as another word."I said I'm fine, stiff. God, does anyone in this goddamn cave know how to follow an order?" Eric glared harshly at me, trying to shove me aside. Before he made it past me I placed my hands on his chest, guiding him back onto the bed, while he flinched from the pressure."The faster you let me look at your shoulder, the faster you will be able to get out of here. So can we start or do I have to go call Max?" I asked him softly, but sternly.He started to protest, but I shot him a look and with a hunch of his shoulders he just sighed exasperatedly. "Make it fast, stiff.""So we`re back to me being a stiff. Great." I murmured sarcastically.I picked up the scissors to cut through the black t-shirt that hugged him in all the right places, making sure to not further hurt his shoulder, while taking off the fabric because his abs tended to distract me."You know if you liked to see me naked, you`d just had to ask. This reminds me of another time when you just couldn`t wait to get me out of my clothes" Eric whispered teasingly into my ear.I shivered and felt the heat rise into my cheeks, but I couldn't stop myself from throwing a response back at him "And you didn't have to get yourself hurt, just to have me take care of you. Besides I do not know what you are talking about".Eric just stared at me for a minute, to stunned to reply, before his lips curled into his trademark smirk and he snorted."Feisty. Maybe I will next time and come to pay you a visit. I would have to make you remember if you can`t." He winked at me.That being the last straw of my carefully composed self-control, I decided to just ignore him and take a look at his shoulder, where blood came gushing out of a 5-inch long wound."How did that happen?""How do you think it did? This idiot went into the warehouse without back-up, just to be attacked with an axe. When I tried to help him some asshole came with a sharpened pipe at me. Didn't see him until it was too late. If I wouldn't have been distracted that scumbag would have never been able to get me like this.""What happened to him?""Well, he sure as hell isn't in candyland playing with unicorns, while singing Amity songs." Eric rolled his eyes at me, while I prepared a syringe and a kit to stich him up."Figured... I'm going to inject you with this. The serum will relieve your pain and speed up the healing process.""I don't need painkillers..." he started to object, but I had already pushed the needle into his shoulders, earning me one of his famous death glares."I know, but it will make everything so much easier" I smiled my most saccharine smile and lowered myself onto the seat in front of him.I started working silently, only concentrating on the task at hand, which wasn't easy at all because I could feel his gaze on my face the whole time.When one of my auburn locks fell into my eyes, I went to brush it behind my ear, but rough, calloused fingers beat me to it. Eric's fingers lingered on my neck, while I raised my eyes, staring right into his mesmerizing grey ones.After a few seconds that felt like an eternity I teared away my eyes, clearing my throat and stood up."You´re all done. You just have to change the bandages every day to make sure it doesn't get infected." I turned away from him, busying myself with cleaning the trays lined with medical supplies.When I felt heat enveloping me and his hot breath against my neck I stiffened."Thank you, nurse stiff. One could say you are truly a lifesaver. Make sure you have the gaze ready tomorrow, when I come back to you." He murmured into my neck while brushing my ponytail over my shoulder. As his nose grazed the shell of my ear I tried to stifle a moan. Unsuccessful may I add.Eric just chuckled, took a step back and gripped the door handle."Laters, stiff" and with that he was out of the door, leaving me once again behind to collect my thoughts that were all over the place.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

When I finally arrived at the mess-haul it was quarter past eight. Slumping down, I was too tired to even lift my head from the table."Rough night?" Tris asked my worriedly, while my brother handed me some coffee and a muffin."You have absolutely no idea. We've had 18 wounded guys, one of them still in critical condition. He got hit by an axe and lost his arm, eventhough they tried everything. If Erudite doesn't hurry up with the mechanical protesis he'll have to join the factionless."I reported, while replacing the coffee with orange juice. The smell was making me nauseous."Damn. We saw everything on screen. If Eric wouldn't have run into the warehouse that dude would now be shark food." Zeke chimed in, after throwing bits of bread at his brother's head, who was busy making out with Marlene. "Dude, we're trying to eat here! Get it on somewhere else."Uriah just flipped him off, but complied and dragged a giggling Marlene towards the pit."I heard our fearless leader was wounded. How's he? Still being able to outrank the common folks?" Christina scoffed."Yeah, he's fine. Just needed a few stitches." I replied offhandedly,while nibbling on my muffin, trying to change the subject. "How are Will's experiments coming along? We need those bulletproof vests. I can't stand pulling bullets out of people anymore.""Maybe you should change professions then." Toby suggested with a raised eyebrow."Why are you so against me being a nurse? It's a great job that doesn't involve waving guns through the air like a herd of baboons.""You can do so much more than that..." Four started again, but was interrupted by an annoyed Christina."Who the hell cares? For all I do she could earn her points dressed in a mini skirt, dancing on top of the bar at happy-hour.You, missy, better start telling me what happened in the infirmary or I'm going to drag you through every single store in the whole compound." She threatened me, knowing how much I despised trying new clothes on. She smirked satisfied when she saw me shivering."So? And don't spare me any details."I groaned, rubbing my eyes."He came in, trying to refuse any treatment or painkillers. I stitched up his shoulder with 11 stitches and put a bandage over it. Happy?" I added sarcastically, while lifting my head of the table just to find everyone staring at me. "What?""You were the one who treated him?", my brother asked sharply."Yeah, that's my job if you haven't figured it out yet." I stared at his face, that started to change colours."I don't want you anywhere near him. Do you understand?" He hissed, now standing up."You have absolutely no right to tell me what I can and can't do. I'm an adult so I can decide for myself." I threw right back at him."We'll see about that." And with that he got up and stormed out of the cafeteria, just like I had done weeks before."What a drama queen." Christina huffed, before looking at me again."Do you know that Jessica, you know the slutty one, says Eric has a dragon tattooed on his pelvis bone? With his tail wrapping around his little friend, if you know what I mean." She winked."That's not true. It's a tribal tattoo, just like the maze on his arms.", I replied in my sleep deprived haze, without thinking about what exactly I just said.But when Christina started shrieking so loud, I had to cover my ears, I realized my mistake."I mean I saw his upper body, this morning, when he took off his shirt. You know, when he came into the infirmary, to get treatment. Treatment on a strictly professional base." I stuttered, catching the knowing look Tris shot me. "Since we're talking about professional, I have to go. Got a shift to cover. Bye ladies. And Zeke." I hurried of the table, making my way towards the pit, like my brother mere minutes before me."No, come back! You have to tell me how it looked, how he looked", Christina called after me, but I was already out the door, pretending to not have heard her. My half-eaten muffin now lying abandoned on the deserted table....The rest of the week went by fairly uneventful. All I did was sleep, work, eat and sleep a little bit more. Despite the easy going everyday life I spent more and more time in my bed, trying to catch more sleep, because I was simply exhausted.Eric did not once show up at the infirmary to get his bandage changed, not that I cared. Arrogant bastard.I assumed he did it himself, refusing every help to not appear weak. His Erudite-like mind seemed to have lost against his ego.Working in the infirmary was pretty laid back most of the time, eventhough we got a few injured people every day. But that was supposed to be normal, since many of the people in this faction mistook stupidity and foolishness for bravery.Only when we had badly hurt people, or whole squads wounded, like the one earlier in the week, or initiates, that fought for their rightful place in rankings, work got hectic and unorganized. So usually it just meant hideous paperwork and fixing some broken bones.After yet another uneventful shift I found myself dragged out of my flat on a Friday evening that was supposed be carefree and relaxing.But my best friend has a different definition of a relaxed Friday night, so she came pounding at my door, refusing to let me even speak the word no. She just shoved a jacket at me and told me to hurry my ass up.That's how I found myself on my way to the Hancock building with all my friends surrounding me. My brother stood a little farer away, looking out of the open door.When I came to a halt beside him, he just sighed, wrapped an arm around me and pressed a kiss to my hair."I hate to fight with you, Amy. You know I'd do anything to protect you and I just don't want him near you. He isn't a good person. I don't want you to get hurt. You're my family and after everything you've been through... just be more careful.I love you, don't ever forget that."I looked up to him and wrapped my arms around him, engulfing him in a hug."I love you too, Toby. And I promise."Behind us the others got ready to jump, ending our sibling moment."Last one on top is a pansycake", Uriah shouted before throwing himself off the train with the rest of us following....I was the third one to reach the rooftop of the Hancock building, the biggest skyscraper in what used to be known as Chicago. Uriah was first, after successfully disabling Zeke.When we waited for the elevator to arrive Uriah cut his belt, making his combat pants drop to his knees. Being distracted by that he missed the elevator, giving him two options: either walking up 100 flights of stairs, or waiting for the elevator to come down again. My bet it's the later one.Tris was second, followed by myself, Belle, Four, Christina and Will. Shauna, Marlene and Lynn decided to wait for Zeke to show up, making Uriah responsible for strapping us in.Usually I'm not one to trust him, but Will made sure everything was scientifically correct, before pushing us down.My brother, pretending to be fearless, went with Tris above him, so he could face her. Christina went after them, so I was left with Belle."I heard what you said about his tattoo. If you don't want Four to find out you have to be more careful with what you say.", she said worriedly."I know. I didn't think, I was really tired." I replied."You're tired a lot lately. Is everything alright with you?" Belle asked, grabbing my hand."I'm fine. Really. Just a lot of stress. It will get better soon." Smiling reassuringly, I dragged her to the harnesses."Together?" She beamed. "Of course"And with that we went flying over the city, with only the stars guiding our way, while the last thing we heard was Zeke's yelling as he came barreling onto the rooftop, while Uriah started to scream like the little girl he sometimes is....When I arrived for my early shift on Sunday morning the whole infirmary bristled with nervous energy. Nurses hurried around, while my superior came storming towards me."Get in my Office, Amy." And with that he continued walking, while I hurried after him, trying to match his pace.Slamming his door behind me, he threw a blue folder onto his table.I shifted nervously on my feet. "Is everything alright, Sir? Did I do something wrong""You? No, but Erudite fucked up. Mixed a box of flu vaccination with the birth control shots up.Now we have to check up every single woman who got them in the last three months. Goddamn noses." He kept on ranting. "Inside that blue folder are the ones who reportedly got the wrong ones, but some haven't been reported, because some of our people don't take their damn work serious. Could you please contact all of them and ask them to come take a pregnancy test? That would be great of you." He dismissed me.So I took the folder and went to the room, where we nurses usually spent our time, when he had no patients to take care off. I had to filter out the right serial number and wrote down the names. It was a tedious work, comparing the numbers and writing down names.But when I came to the next one I froze, the pen falling out of my now numb hand.At first I didn't even comprehend what stood there, but then it hit me like a ton of bricks.There inside that blue folder , in black on white, stood my name next to the number, that proved that my birth control shot was indeed ineffective.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

I didn't know what I was doing or even where I was going. I was vaguely aware of the nurses ushering around me, but I felt like walking through honey.Nothing could have ever prepared me to feel such panic, that all-consuming anxiety that threatened to burn me from the inside out. Not even the second stage of initiation or my father managed to do that to me, because I knew I'd get out of there. But I couldn't get out of this one.I had somehow picked up the damn folder and communicated to someone that I'd be home for the rest of the day.So now I was walking towards my flat, still feeling like I'd been paralyzed, when I ran into someone, successfully dropping the folder.I hurried to pick it up, but that someone beat me to it."A? Hey, Amie? Are you alright?" a familiar voice called me, making me snap up my head. James, my Ex-boyfriend stood beside my still crouching frame, offering me a hand to help me up."Huh? Yeah, yeah. Everything is alright." I stood up and went to grab the folder to turned around and walk away, but he grabbed my hand, stopping me."I mean it. Did something happen to you? Should I call someone?" he continued asking.I pulled my hand away from him. I still haven't forgotten how he treated me, when we broke up. Just because I was a forgiving person and I didn't hold a grudge over it, meant that I wanted to be anywhere near him."I am fine. Not that it's any of your concern." I brushed him off, before walking the short way that was left to the apartment, slamming the door behind me and sinking to the floor.I thought about the possibility of me being pregnant. I mean what are the odds?That one time I actually sleep with someone, my otherwise perfect safety net was practically non-existent. Except if the flu vaccination was somehow able to prevent fertilization.I snorted. Would certainly seem like Erudite to invent something unnecessary like that.But I couldn't be pregnant. I just couldn't.I would have to tell everyone who the father was...Damn. Not only would my brother disown me, he would kill Eric. Simply as that. And I didn't want to go see my brother in the factionless area or crying at his execution, just because I made a mistake.Belle would be supportive. Without a question. Maybe she would even be happy about it.But the rest of them?Zeke shared my brother's feelings regarding Eric. Tris despised him on a deep level, but Christina hated him with all her heart. When he hung her above the chasm, just to prove a point, he signed a life-long treatment of utter hatred served to him by the former candor.Uriah and Will didn't like him much either, but they could work with him, without it ending in threats or a shouting match. Not that Eric would ever do something as profane as that. Instead he would just glare and hiss.Thinking about him had me wondering if he'd even want a family, ever. Maybe, one day... with a beautiful wife who was the epitome of dauntless, being the perfect, ruthless warrior and the loving, protective mother in one. She would be nothing like me.She'd be rough, where I'm soft, feisty where I'm timid and above all beautiful, where I am average.He'd never love me. If he's even capable of loving.And he would never want a child with the woman he only knows as stiff or the sister of his biggest nemesis.And that's the point when I cracked. I started crying my eyes out, leaning against my apartment door for what felt like hours.But it must have been only half an hour, when someone started pounding at my door."Amelia? Open the door please." I heard my brother's voice from the other side.I tried stifling my sobs, to not expose myself."Amy, I know you're there. I heard you. Please open the door."I must have been unsuccessful. But I stayed rooted in front of the door."I saw what happened in the hallway. Did he say something to you? Did he hurt you?! I'm going to kill that asshole." At that point I knew I had to calm him down."I'm fine, Toby. Really. I just need time for myself. James didn't do anything. Please leave."I heard a sigh and a thud that had me guessing that he'd leant his head against the door. "I don't want to leave you like this. Please open up.", but I knew I couldn't face him. Not like this.Not after what I'd done to sabotage our relationship. I knew once he found out he wouldn't want anything to do with me so I stalled, knowing I could be wrong with thinking I was pregnant."I'm going to take a bath. I'll see you at dinner." I called out to him, before making my way into my small bathroom.I stripped out of my clothes, before turning on the water and standing to face the floor-to-ceiling mirror.When I'd first arrived here I hadn't been able to look at myself for a long time, but I was slowly getting used to it. What I saw now wasn't really different from what I usually saw.Average height, average weight. Breasts that were on the smaller side, being covered now by my long, curly hair. My hips were slim, my stomach flat and my skin white as ivory.My back, that was once covered in scars, was now decorated with the most beautiful cherry tree I've ever seen. Soft pink blossoms managed to erase every trace my father and his belt left behind. The branches curled over my shoulders and ribs, just like my brother's tattoo did to him.Carved into the bark on my back was the number four. For my brother, the only one I considered family.The longer I stared at myself, the more changes I could detect. How my hips had filled out a little, what I had already realized when I didn't fit into my jeans last night. Or how my breasts seemed to be swollen and my cheeks had a rosy hue to them.I ripped myself away from these observations, turning off the water and getting into the tube.At first I'd have to get myself a pregnancy test, to confirm or decline my worst fantasies.I hadn't realized the shot wasn't a shot. It's a side effect that women who got these shots, that usually work for 6 months, don't have their periods. And I haven't had mine since I got the shot two and a half months ago.But it was still possible that it wasn't true. Just keep believing.After I washed myself clean and got out of the tube, a wave of fatigue came over me. I managed to throw over a shirt that once belonged to Tobias, along with some panties, before crashing on my bed, throwing the blanket over me and falling asleep instantly....I woke up in what felt like the middle of the night to a warm body cuddling against mine. Instantly recognizing the smell of roses and vanilla as my best friend's perfume, I turned around, hugging her closer."Four told me something happened this morning. And that you refused to open the door. You told him you'd be there for dinner, but you weren't. So like the perfect bestie I am I came to take care of whatever I need to, to make you happy again." Belle declared, while grabbing my hand.I turned to face her. "This is not something you can fix, B. Erudite messed up the birth control shots. I might be... I might be pregnant." I managed to get out, before my eyes clouded over with tears.Belle was too stunned for a good minute to reply."The fathers... He's...?""Yeah, it could only be Eric's. And we both know he won't want it. Not even considering that my brother will disown me and my father will be proven right, that I am a slut, when words comes out that I got knocked up with a leader's baby." After that I started to full-out bawling."Shhh... You don't know that he won't want to know your child. He's pretty territorial after all. Your brother will always love you, no matter how big you fuck up. And your father, that no-good-for-anything asshole will get what he deserves for ever laying hand on you." She tried to calm me down. After the better of half an hour it worked and I started to once again fall asleep with the promise that at least one person in this city will be forever by my side....When I woke up again, I found that I was surprisingly alone and that it was already quarter past ten.I dressed in a pair of black legging and a comfortable sweater with the dauntless emblem on front, before making my way into the kitchen.Not before long I heard the jiggling of keys, the front door opened and Belle came into view, carrying breakfast from the cafeteria in the one and a bag in her other hand.Kicking the door shut, she made her way over to me, handing me food.With a growling stomach I just yet realize, I'd missed 2 meals yesterday, so I opened the container and devoured breakfast."First of all you're going to eat, which you're already doing. That's good. And secondly you will take this and follow the Instructions.", Belle declared, handing me the bag.I looked at her tentative, before revealing the item inside it.I grabbed the pregnancy test, staring at it, while anxiety threatened to consume me, quenching every ounce of appetite I had in my body.She watched me calmly, before stating"You have to have certainty."

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

It´s been two days since my "minor" breakdown. Ever since then I avoided my brother at all costs. He has always been able to read me like an open book and the things I was going through currently, were not something I wished to share with him just yet.Since I missed half of my shift on Sunday and all of Monday, I had to work doubles, all while contacting the woman who got the falsely labelled shot, to get them tested.There were 29 we had to take to the infirmary and 11 were then confirmed pregnant. I have no idea how the others were spared, since dauntless isn't really known for its chastity. I guess they either used further protection or they have been lucky. Or more than lucky.But Dauntless is known for gossip, so the whole ordeal drew much attention. I mean how often did it happen that erudite fucked up so majorly? And major it was indeed. It stirred up so many people, that the leaders decided to take charge over the investigation. Apparently, the women, who got pregnant will be entitled to some form of amend to sort out the "necessities". Another euphemism for making sure they won't seek trial in candor.But to top all of it, I have somehow been declared to the leading force from the infirmary, thanks to the possession of the blue folder.Meaning of it: I would be the lucky one to present everything to the leaders. From the names of the 29, to the ones that were really pregnant. Figures.So here I am now, half an hour before the meeting starts, trying to calm myself down. I´ve never been one for public speaking, neither for facing authorities. One of the few benefits of Abnegation. No one draws attention to themselves or demands it from others."Okay, look Amy. Everything will be fine. You will go in there, tell them about the eleven women, hand the sheet over, answer a few questions and you will be good to leave.", my superior, Keith, briefed me. Who the hell is named Keith nowadays anyway?!"Why can't you do that? I mean you are my supervisor, if I stutter or inform them incorrectly this will cast a bad light over you." I tried to sway his decision, while speaking to his ego."As if, hon. Brownie points for trying, but get in there now." He brushed me off, opening the door to the conference room, before ushering me in, closing the door and standing back beside it.I fumbled with the paper in my hands, before turning towards the large mahogany table. There at the head of the table, three of our five leaders were sitting, all looking at me.Max, our senior leader or whatever they call it was seated in the middle. On his right was a woman I have only ever seen a few times, but I knew she was called Maggs. Finishing first in her year she was declared the most savage woman in Dauntless. Not only was she the only girl in her year, but she also managed to withstand the torture of factionless, after she was captured on a routine patrol, as a junior leader. Being found three days later, Maggs managed to kill 2 of her capturers with a sharpened spoon, she managed to hide from all of them.She was a living Dauntless legend.On his left however, was the one person I wanted gone from this meeting at all costs. Eric's otherwise cruel glare was bordering on a strange mix between boredom and curiosity. When I looked at him he just raised one of his eyebrows, trying to keep the corner of his mouth from turning into his trademark smirk, when I blushed in return. I don't even want to know what he was thinking about. Nothing workplace approvable at its best.Max cleared his throat, effectively capturing my attention. "So I guess you´re the one presenting us who were the unfortunate souls effected by this mishap? Amy, isn't it? Fours sister? It´s nice to have you here.""Yes, Sir. That's me.", I managed to squeak out, my heart hammering inside my chest.Eric only snickered, while it was Maggs turn to raise her eyebrows."Na na, no need to be nervous. I promise, Eric over here will be on his best behavior." Max winked, successfully shutting Eric up in the process.His thoughtful behavior managed to calm my raging nerves at least a little."Okay… so I´m sure you all know about the mix up, because clearly you do. Otherwise you wouldn't be here…" I started rambling, before pulling myself together."The birth control shot with the serial number S1798 was unknowingly traded with the common flu vaccination which is registered under S1789. Since these numbers are almost identical I assume some workers just put on the wrong label. Most of those shots are produced in one lab. ", I reported, before placing the box full of vials on the table."We only found out, that those are flu shots, when one of our female members had an allergic reaction after being injected, which then led to the investigation in erudite. They informed us later, that these shots were mixed up.""Those brainless morons. Do they even know what it means for a Dauntless woman to have children?", Maggs snarled, banging her fist onto the table.I blanched. What is she talking about?"Wha… what do you mean?" I asked her shakily, whereas she just glared in return."I mean walking around uneven caves all goddamn day, when you´re as big as a whale, not to mention staircases without railings, the drops on the floors surrounding the pit or the chasm itself. It´s a fucking miracle in itself that we even have women, that want to have children in this hellhole, even though they know they will most likely die of heart failure, when they first see their three-year-old kid trying to climb up the climbing wall in the pit.""Maybe we could make the compound child-safe?", I asked meekly, not really considering it myself.This time, Eric snorted. "Right, upholster foil on the railings and safety nets that double as hammocks for drunken fools. We´re dauntless for a reason. They will just have to look after their little brats."His little speech only made Max chuckle. "Just wait, until you have kids, son. I´m sure you´ll order every available piece of foam erudite could produce."What Eric muttered next sounded awfully like "As if."As if what? Did he mean it as: "As if I´ll never have children" or more like "As if he´d ever show such weakness?"I realized that my thoughts had drifted off again, when Keith nudged me from behind.
All of the leaders where staring at me.
"Yes?"Eric just gestured with his hands to go on, so I did."Where were we… Oh, yeah, there were 29 women that got the wrong shots, only one of them reacting negatively to it. The names of them are on the first page.The names and apartment numbers of the pregnant ones are on the second page."I walked forward and handed the papers to Max."There are twelve of them.""Twelve, what do you mean twelve? You reported eleven back at me?", Keith hissed from behind me, but I could only focus on Max´s face, as he read over the second page, his eyes stopping at one name.I could only guess which one."You are one of them?" he inquired, carefully contemplating the possibility and my slightly shaking form, standing in front of him."What?!" Eric ripped the paper out of his hands."I am, Sir.", was all I managed to get out, not daring to raise my eyes. Because I knew exactly what I would find. Grey, cold eyes staring into my innermost soul. I couldn't bring myself to look up, not even when he spoke."How long?", again with those two words. Did he intend to ask me how far along in my pregnancy I was, or how long I knew that I was pregnant."Roughly six weeks, I´d guess. But I haven´t known for long." I tried to explain, while fumbling with the seams of my sweatshirt.My head snapped up, when I heard a chair being dragged over the floor. Eric came stalking towards me, furry blazing inside his normally cold eyes. I stumbled backwards, but he captured my upper arm in a vice like grip."If you´d excuse us." He snarled, before throwing the door open, dragging me out of the room and down the corridor."Stop, Eric! Please!" I tried to stop him, but my cries only fell on deaf ears. He abruptly stopped in the deserted hallway, slamming me against the wall.I mentally prepared myself for the pain that action would surely cause me, but felt nothing other than the scorching heat his body dispended. One of his hands was protectively lying behind my head, while the other one rested on my lower back, making sure the wall wouldn´t hurt me, while effectively capturing me and destroying every chance of escape I still hold inside of me.His voice was once more cold, when he finally spoke."Is it mine?"I whipped my head up to glare at him, only to shrivel back when I saw the furious look he threw me."Yes… of course it is! I haven't slept with anyone, other than you, for more than one and a half years. I´m not like that."The thought of what everyone would surely be thinking of me, when this went public, I started to tear up."How long have you known?""Only two days. Please, Eric, you have to believe me. It´s only been two days and nobody knows." Stumbling over my voice, I didn't dare to meet his gaze again. Instead I stared at my hands that were frantically clutching his combat vest in an attempt to convince him of my truth and calm him down."Nobody knows?""No, I mean no one except Belle and she was the one who made me do the test." I admitted, calming down slightly myself.But the long silence that followed was deafening."Would you have ever told me? If I wouldn't have been at the meeting, would you have come to me and told me that you´re carrying my child? Not that I wouldn't have found out in the end anyways."Eric's voice sounded strained, almost as if it pained it to ask such a question. When I looked at him, his face was set in stone, like it usually was, but his eyes betrayed him.I don't even know what it was, but that look that reminded me of so much pain, made me do something I normally would have never done. Blame it on the hormones.I hugged him. Burying my face in his hard chest, because he was way too tall as that I could reach his neck, I knew I had to tell him the truth."I wouldn't have wanted to… honestly I´d been petrified. But you are the father, so of course I would have. No matter how much my brother hates you or how any of us may have wished that the circumstances would have been different from what they are now, I could never keep you away from your you want to be part of its life...I am so sorry that you had to hear it like that. That´s not how I wanted to tell you.", I sniffled, only now realizing I´d started to cry.Eric pushed me away softly, raising his hand to brush off my tears. The sweet gesture just increasing the flow. Blinking rapidly, I tried to get my composure back.In an attempt to do just that I decided to ask him one of the most important questions. One that was running through my mind on full speed, since the first thought of pregnancy had hit me."Did you ever want children?"Eric sighed. "Honestly, no. I never wanted one. Apart from the fact that being a leader is more than just a full-time job and I don't really have much time to spare, I never thought I´d be able to live in a steady relationship. I have never been one to love, or to be loved in return."His honest answer made my heart dive. But his next sentence made it soaring into my throat."Didn't mean I´d never try." He whispered, while pulling me to him.Pressing a kiss on my forehead he sighed. "I have to go back. Otherwise Max will send out a search group , most lightly briefed to retrieve your body." He chuckled, before whispering something into my ear. He retreated and trailed down the corridor towards the conference room.But I was glued to my spot, repeating the words he had whispered to me, over and over in my head. It lit a tiny spark of hope within my body, making me feel warm all of sudden.With that newfound hope, I made my way to the mess hall while his voice echoed inside my head."And don't you think anyone or anything will ever be able to keep me away from my child."

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Three weeks after our confrontation, I found myself at the infirmary, but this time I´d be the patient. My first ultra sound was due and since there were so many pregnant women, I decided that I could wait for my turn, not taking advantage that I was working there or Eric's status as leader. When I informed him about the appointment and my reasoning why it was so late, he just murmured a curse under his breath that sounded awfully like "damn stiffs".Those three weeks were filled with morning sickness, convincing Eric to not declare his fatherhood to the whole faction, while being careful to not be seen with him, so that Tobias wouldn't grow suspicious and avoiding my whole group of friends. Belle being the sole exception.My bad conscious, rooted in the fact that I was keeping such a huge secret from all of them, intensified with each passing day. Not to mention that I missed my brother like mad.Being the only person who always looked after me when I was little, I adored him to pieces. Even if I didn't share all of his views.I knew from experience how hard it was, to be apart from him. Those three years alone with my father inside our slowly decaying house were confirmation enough for me.I never wanted to lose him again. Even if it was temporary.But I feared that this was the way it would be, after my confession.My plan, which wasn't really a plan, more than a desperate idea, was to stall, until the initiates arrived, so Toby would be too busy with them, to be mad at me.His first reaction would surely be to lash out, so I had to get him as far away from Eric as possible. But that wouldn't be the worst, oh no.The worst for me will be him giving me the cold shoulder. I once broke a glass sculpture our mother had given to him. It was one of two we had.Let me tell you, being ignored by the most important person of your life for two whole months isn't great. It’s awful.Not that he didn't protect me through that time. He´d still take the beatings. But while I would clean and wrap them up at night, he would just sit there, not uttering a single word.I have never felt so bad in my entire did include countless beatings and a few broken bones.It was the silence that I feared so much.He would eventually come around. I knew he would.But when and how was written in the stars. Just like the question if our relationship would ever be the same.All these thoughts swirled through my head, as I lay on the examination table, waiting for the ultrasound specialist to arrive. The door opened, but instead of the doctor, a certain steel-eyed leader came marching through the door, as if he owned the place.Scrambling, I went to pull my top over my stomach, covering myself."Don't bother. It's nothing I haven't seen before.", he threw at me, before taking a seat at the chair beside the table."Doesn't mean you´ll ever get to see it again." I sassed at him, already fed up with his insolence."Be careful with that attitude of yours, love." He glanced at me before returning his attention to his tablet, where he scrolled through a report of some sorts. "What happened? Did brother-dearest finally find out that his sister isn't as untainted as he always thought she was?""He does not think such a thing. And no. I haven't told him yet. Initiates arrive in two weeks and then he´ll be too busy to be mad at me, so I plan on telling him then." I exposed my plan to him."If your brother has got your tactical brilliance I know why he declined the leadership position." Eric grunted, leaning forward on his chair."Why are you saying this?" I asked, more than lightly offended, whereas Eric just sighed in exasperation."Do you know who will be the lucky one overseeing initiation once again, love?"My shocked silence was answer enough for him."That's what I thought. It will be a pleasure working with him when he is even more broody than his normal self.""Hey! That's my brother you're talking about!""Aren't I aware of that…"Before our argument could get out of hand, the doctor, who would perform my ultra sound came barging through the door, startling the both of us. I haven't met this one before, but Eric went rigid besides me, when he spotted him."Hello, you two. My name is Adrian Coulter and I will perform your ultrasound today. From what I can see here, you're about ten weeks? Slightly nauseous, no bleedings or cramps. That's great, let's have a look at that baby." He read from his clipboard, only now raising his gaze. His eyes went wide, before he smirked an all too familiar smirk."Brother, what a pleasure to see you. I didn't know you were married. Congratulations.""That's because I'm not. What the hell are you doing here? Don't you work at the hospital?", Eric snarled at him, making me jump. To calm him down, I grabbed his hand, locking our fingers together. He squeezed lightly.Adrian busied himself with preparing the machine, before replying nonchalantly. "I do, but the doctor who was supposed to come in felt ill. Something about bacteria experiments gone wrong." He lifted my shirt, squeezing something cold onto my belly. "It´s cold.", he added after it was already too late.After sitting down on his stool, pressing a wand onto my abdomen and changing the setting, he spoke once again."Does mother know about your circumstances? From your reaction I would guess not. You should tell her""I should do shit. Faction before blood, remember?""Always so vulgar. No need to lose your temper. I just think she´d find it interesting that her baby boy will have his own baby. I could always tell her for you.""Do whatever the hell you want, after you did for what you came for."I knew that Eric was starting to lose it, so I let go of his hand, to place mine on the side of his face."Please calm down." I asked him, rubbing my thumb along his jaw. Defeated he leaned into my touch, before we both turned to his brother, who watched us curiously, before turning the screen towards us."If you look here you can see your baby.", he stated, while pointing at something that looked like a grey blip."Everything looks great for 10 weeks. Its roughly an inch long and is now at the point, where its fingernails and hair starts to grow." Adrian informed us, then pushed a bottom and swooshing noises filled the room."Is that..?" I rasped, not being able to finish my sentence."Yes, that's the heartbeat. It´s fast and strong, which is great. You've got a little fighter at hand."From beside me, I saw Eric shifting. He laid a hand on my hair, caressing it little."Of course he is."I beamed at him, while brushing away the tears, that managed to escape.
"That's our baby."
He brought our foreheads together, our noses brushing, while the both of us knew what the otherwas thinking,hoping,feeling.We left the infirmary shortly after, parting once again, so no one would grow suspicious, only the sonogram pictures in both our pockets proof of what had expired behind closed doors.Realizing, Eric was right, I knew I had to tell Tobias as soon as possible. So I planned on telling him tomorrow, knowing, I had to be as brave as when I decided to let my blood fall onto the coals, a little less than two years ago.I texted Belle letting her know that everything was alright and that I would talk to Toby once he got off his shift tomorrow afternoon.While I was strolling through the compound, a hard voice had me rooted to the spot."Look who we got here. Haven´t seen your face in a while." I turned around, just to get slapped in the face."What the hell, Christina?!", I heard Zeke exclaiming behind her, while Christina herself pulled me into a bone crashing hug. "You Bitch! Don't you ever avoid us like that again! What were you thinking?""Ouch, Christina! You´re suffocating me" I managed to get out, before she released me.Scowling, I rubbed my stinging cheek."I haven´t been avoiding you", I lied. "I just had a lot to do recently. There was no need for violence.""There always is." Christina cheeped, making Zeke laugh.He rounded her, slinging his arm over my shoulder and pulled me down the hall.I seriously had to reconsider my choice of friends. I was feed up with being dragged through the compound."We, as in you, me and all of our friends that you haven´t seen for ages, are going to have a little get together at my place. And you my love are my special guest." Zeke stated and when we arrived, I realized he hasn't been joking. Everyone was there. My brother and Tris, Uri, Mar, Lynn, Shauna, Will and Christina.We spent the evening with card games, hearing stories about Uri`s most awesome pranks, while listening to Christina talking about clothes and Tris about what happened in the control room. Everything was business as usual, up to the point, where I stood up to go to the bathroom and a piece of paper dropped to the floor."Hey, Amy, you lost some…thing." I heard Uriah's voice trailing off."What?" I turned around, to see him holding the sonogram picture.I felt the blood draining out of my face, when my brother snatched it out of his hands, staring at it.He dropped his hands to his side, still clutching the paper, before turning to frown at me.
"What the hell is this?"

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

"What's that", a curious Christina snatched the picture of my baby out of Tobias´ unmoving grip.It was almost comical to watch her jaw drop done, while her eyes widened, before she turned to face me. But I didn't have it in me to laugh."You are pregnant.", she whispered, sounding more like a statement than a question.Knowing the moment of truth has come and being not able to do anything against it, I just nodded, too afraid to speak it out loud.They were all staring at me, faces frozen in different stages of shock, Tris´ being the most prominent one. I assume she instantly knew what this meant.Where was Belle when I needed her… She would have been perfect to calm everyone down and prevent this awkward silence. Because no one even dared to speak, everyone to lost in their own thoughts, until…"I´M GOING TO BE AN AUNTIE!", Christina screamed, while tackling me to the ground, once again squeezing the living daylights out of me. "That's why you´ve been avoiding us, you sneaky bitch. And I thought you were having a secret affair, with an outrageous man.", she winked at me, her face just inches away from mine."What do you mean?", I inquired dumbfounded from underneath her, but she just laughed and whispered so lowly that only I could hear her. "You know it's quite informative to hang around the control room. Your little alone time in the hallway with a certain leader didn't go unseen. Seemed quite cozy."I gaped at her, too stunned to reply instantly and hadn't had the chance to, before she was lifted of me. "Geez woman, don't attack pregnant ladies. I'm sure you don't want to kill your so-called nephew.", came from Zeke who had freed me. He pulled me into a hug, muttering congratulations at me. In return he got a thankful smile.Now it was a puzzled Will´s turn to speak. "How could that happen? Those shots are more than 99.9 percent reliable and they are mandatory for every female member that is fertile and not married or has requested a leader´s permission to get off to be able to receive." Leave it to Will to quote the rulebook."Well I hope for her own sake that she isn't married. Everyone knows I am the expert for bridal dresses." Christina declared, before glaring at me. "You´re not married, right?""No I´m not." I chuckled "I was one of the lucky ones to get the flu shot instead of the real thing. They mixed up labels in one of the labs. So here I am… ten weeks pregnant. Yay..." I tried to sound enthusiastic, but failed miserably."I didn't know you were doing anyone.", came surprisingly from Lynn. Her interest in my less than thrilling sex life stunned me so I replied lamely "It´s because I´m not.""What's that supposed to mean? You´re either shagging someone or you aren't there is no in between." Uri´s forehead was furrowed, as if he was trying to solve a complicated equation.I didn't really want to answer that one, afraid of being judged , but I owed it to them to be honest. I grimaced. "It was kind of a one-time thing. I was drunk and it just happened…" I trailed off, not wanting to go into details"Then who is the father?"I turned towards my brother, who had stayed silent the whole time. He was asking the one question I didn't want to answer. I looked at him pleadingly, begging him not to.But he was stubborn as always."Who is the father?""Toby, please. Can we not do this now?", my pleas faltered, when I saw the look he threw me. Despite his calm demeanor I knew him.He was livid."I want to know who has knocked up my sister. And it would be great to know why I´m just learning about this now." His no-nonsense behavior scared the shit outta me. And more than everything, I felt guilty."I wanted to tell you, I really did. But I had no idea how. Toby you´re my only family and I don´t wanna lose you." I started crying and that´s the moment he knew, he just knew that he wouldn't like my answer at all."Family would have told me by now. So spit it out." He gritted through clenched teeth.Uriah, bless his soul for trying, thought it would be a great idea to diffuse the tension by cracking a joke. But I didn't find that one funny at all."Come on, tell us. He can`t be that bad. I mean he can, but we´ll manage. As long as it´s not Eric." he added jokingly, but when I stayed silent, he repeated hesitantly "It´s not Eric, is it?"I just closed my eyes and hanging my head, admitting defeat.When everyone froze, I begged my brother wordlessly to understand, to hear me out."When did this happen?Before or after I told you to stay away from him?How long has this been going on?How long have you been fucking him?"Every single sentence being followed by an foreboding silence.That it front of me wasn't my loving brother. This man standing there instead of him reminded me too much of my own father."Toby, please. It´s not what you think. It was only one time and I was drunk and confused and I didn't even know what was happening until I woke up in the morning. You have to believe me, I would never, ever, sleep around with him behind your back. Toby, please!"I stuttered and was now full on sobbing, but my tears, that never ceased to bring out the protector in him, did not change a thing."But apparently you did." Tobias brushed me off coldly, before starting to pace and franticly shaking his head. Everyone was silently watching, waiting for him to erupt."Tobias, calm down. ", Tris went to grab his arm, but the ripped it away.He glared at her before hissing"Calm down?! I´m going to show you calm.I´m going to kill him."With that he was out the door, followed by our shouts for him to come back.I hurried after him, only faintly aware of the others running behind me. I knew where he was going.Working countless hours in the control room, my brother was only all too familiar with the habits of most of our members. So he was aware, that Eric would most likely be in the pit, drinking a beer after hours with a few of his carefully selected friends.The pit, were most of our leaders and half of the faction was at this time of the night, was exactly where Tobias was headed. The thought of the audience they´d have and the whispers that would surely arise, made my steps falter, almost sending me tumbling down the uneven floor. But I caught myself at the last moment, my pace never ceasing, only increasing.I could hear the commotion, before I even stepped out of the tunnel leading to the pit. Shoving through bystanders, I hurriedly made my way to the front, only to see the bowstrung figure of my brother attacking Eric. He slapped the bottle out of the young leaders hand, before throwing a punch at his jaw, making him fall to the floor. Eric, never missing a beat, jumped back up right away, taking up a defensive stance."Tobias stop!" I screamed at him."What the hell, man?" Wayne, one of Eric´s best friends shouted. "Four, what are you doing?""How dare you lay hand on my sister?" Tobias shouted at Eric, ready to strike again.Gasps were heard from all around me."Lay hand on her? I just gave her what she asked for, as long and as hard as she asked for. I didn't force her to anything. Let's rather say she was more than compliant." He smirked, taunting my brother further with words that hurt me in the most humiliating way.By now I could feel the stares of hundreds of people weighing me down. So I lowered my hand in shame.Tobias roared in rage and flung himself at him. They exchanged blow after blow, Tobias striking as deadly as a cobra, whereas Eric´s more powerful punches did their own damage.It was truly frightening to see combat skills at such a level, it almost seemed as if nature was at war with itself. Being too close in skill, none of them was able to keep the upper hand, always switching between attack and defense, never faltering in steps or missing a beat.This went on and on, excruciating slowly and still too fast to fully grasp, until…"What is the meaning of this?" a loud voice boomed through the pit, Max standing on one of the top floors. He came running down the stairs, shouting."Someone tear these two apart before they kill each other!" Faction members parted for him like the red sea, as the came barreling towards the spectacle.Doing as told, Wayne and Peter were able to restrain Eric, while Uriah, Zeke and Will did the same with my brother.Only now one could see the real damaged they had inflicted on each other. Both of them looked like hell. Tobias hat bruises everywhere and his nose was gushing blood, while Eric's jaw was purple and he had a large cut over his eyebrow.Max took one look at my tear stricken face, before sighing deeply and turned to the members. "Show´s over. Go back to whatever the hell you were doing before. And stop starring"While everyone scattered to obey Max, I made my way over to the beaten up man, too concerned to stay away any longer. Shoving people out of my way, he saw me coming and looked down to his feet. But when I went to grad his arm, he ripped it away from me, as if I would burn him."Don't touch me."Hastily I drew my hand back."Tobias, please. You´re my brother, my only family. Don't abandon me." I cried, trying to capture his hands once again. But he shoved me away from him, making me stumble over my feet.He glared at me, his eyes as cold as the stone surrounding us."Family wouldn't have slept with the man that tries to make my life a living hell.Family wouldn't have lied to me for three months. No sister of mine would behave like that. Father was right, you're nothing but a whore."His words hitting me like a ton of bricks, I stumbled backwards, almost falling down, but I was pulled into a hard chest, arms engulfing me. Those words my brother spoke, for everyone to hear, hurt more than every lash my father could ever give to me.Gasping for air, I wasn't longer able to control the sobs that were forcing their way into my throat. My knees gave away from under me, but I was scooped up into someone's arms. I knew who that someone was, before he even spoke."I suggest you´ll leave right this instant, if you don't want me to kill you in the most painful way possible. Since you are apparently ´no brother of hers´ there is nothing that will hold me back. So get the fuck out of my sight."Eric growled at Four, effectively making the others pull him out of the pit, while Tris whispered to him furiously, hands on his chest.I buried my head in Eric's neck, not wanting to look at anyone, still to shaken up and hurt to do anything other than whimper.Eric rubbed my back and whispered soothing things into my ear, while he carried me away into the compound, only deep blue lights guiding our way, getting their energy out of the sun.The smooth swaying of his footsteps lulled me into the darkness, I succumbed to it, embracing the promise of safety and peace, that Eric´s embrace was offering me, with open arms, while one sentence of his followed me into the land of dreams."We are your family now", he whispered, while the pressure of his lips lingered on the place, where a new life was growing.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

I woke up once again with pounding headache, in an apartment I have been to only one time before. But now instead of being naked, I was dressed in a huge shirt, that went to the middle of my thighs. My mouth was dry and my eyes hurt from all of the crying I did the evening before. Figures, I would once again look like a zombie, when I was in Eric´s flat.Squinting my eyes, the clock on the nightstand read 2:40 am. Eric wasn't in the bedroom, so I got up, padding out the room barefoot. I guess he was the one who undressed me and I couldn't bring myself to search for my clothes. I was too exhausted to do so.There on the island, illuminated by the soft glow of a single lamp, Eric was sitting in the otherwise dark kitchen, head buried in his hands. My steps alerted him to my presence and he raised his gaze, looking at me."Is everything alright?""Yes, I´m just a little thirsty" I answered his question. "And my head hurts."He gestured me to sit down, while he got up and opened the fridge. Without even asking he poured me a glass of orange juice, before coming back to rub my temples, effectively treating my headache."How did you know that I wanted that?" I inquired, after drowning the whole glass of juice with a few gulps."What makes you think I did know and not just didn't have anything other in there?", he raised his eyebrows, while placing the now empty glass in the sink."Oh…"Eric just sighed, rubbing his hands over his face. "You always drink orange juice. No matter what you eat. You even did it before you got pregnant."His observation, that came out of nowhere, leaved me stunned. Because he was right. I detested the overly sweet sodas most of the dauntless couldn't get enough of. My fondness towards it originated from my early childhood memories. The only real reminiscence of my mother was the one time, she was able to smuggle some OJ into our home. That was only a few months before she died."How did you know that?" I sniffled, once again close to tears"Come on, there's nothing to cry about that." Eric rolled his eyes, before adding quietly, "And just because you detested me, after your brother surely told you all those flattering stories about me, doesn't mean I judged you just because your brother is an asshole.I always knew who you were and not just because of your brother.You were third in your year, despite being one of the last in the first stage. Six fears, just like your brother´s little girlfriend. I mean what the hell is wrong with you stiffs? The average number of fears in the third stage is 12 and the only reason you came in third was your last fear.You´ve let yourself be overwhelmed and panicked, when you couldn't find him, which was by the way the only mistake you made. Otherwise you were truly impressive, especially for a former stiff. That coming from me you should feel honored."Was I going mad or did he indeed sound kind of… proud?How could he know so much about me? More than even my closest friends. He even had knowledge about my greatest fear.It started with me arriving at a complete silent house back at Abnegation. I came from school or some charity work, not sure which one and hung my grey bag and the equally grey jacket on the coat hook, timidly calling out that I was home. But there was no answer,there never was.With a sick feeling in my gut I had made my way up the stairs, preparing to find some gruesome scene at the end of it. But there wasn't one, so I went over to Tobias` room, opened the door and there was nothing.Absolutely nothing.No bed, no closet, nothing. Not even the lose board, where he had hidden the item mother passed on to us. Or the drawings from the one time when he was 8 and decided the wallpaper would look better with a dragon on it.Everything was gone and I broke down.Crying in the abandoned room for what felt like hours, I did something I never dared back in Abnegation. I was selfish and cried for myself because now I was truly and utterly alone in this world. My brother had left me. Leaving me alone in the clutches of a monster, fighting every day to survive.It didn't help that it was the first time, I lived through this particular fear.When I had finally calmed down enough, to get out of the sim, I had lost my first place. Only the fact that I flew through the other fears and that I had only six of them, ensured me one of the best rankings."You remembered all that?" It kind of touched me that he did."Come on, I know every single one of your fears. Your biggest one was Four abandoning you, the second was a woman dying. Since you two have the same facial structures, I assume she´s your mother.""She was, she died when I three." I whispered.Eric picked me up, sitting me on top of the counter and came to stand between my legs. "She was beautiful. But not as beautiful as her daughter ." Eric´s hands made their way onto my thighs. I blushed covering his hands with mine. "From what I remember, she looked like an angel." I confirmed.He put his head in my neck, humming in affirmation.Eric looked into my eyes. "I´m still impressed by your selflessness.""What do you mean" my head was now resting against his."I mean", he started, brushing my hair out of my face and placing his hands on my head, " that you", he brushed his nose along my neck, making me shutter " are more afraid, that that scumbag you call brother, could get hurt, than you being hurt yourself.""But of course. He´s my brother and I love him.""I know." He sighed "that's the only reason he's still alive after today."His forehead pressed against mine, kept the tears at bay, that wanted to be freed."Your fifth fear: sitting inside a room, with no light or any noises, only hearing your own breathing. Kinda boring don´t you think?" Eric teased me, earning himself a playful slap onto his shoulders, while I smiled at him watery. "It was frightening.""Oh come on. Even you were bored by that.""Maybe a little." He made me laugh lightly."Your last fear..." Eric started to taunt me even further, knowing my weak spots. Let's just say the last one is embarrassing, like really embarrassing."No, please don't." I exclaimed in mock-horror trying to cover his mouth. But Eric being the ninja he is, caught my wrists in one of his huge hands and pinned them over my head, keeping me exactly where he wanted me."I never thought someone as brave as you would be afraid of such a thing. If you think about it, it´s really funny. How did you even know these things existed?""Funny?" I shrieked. "It´s not goddamn funny! Those wicked things almost gave me a heart attack! I once saw one inside a Childs book. I mean how sick is that?"Eric´s wholeheartedly laugh made me feel funny things. I stared at him in awe."Amy, these things are Clowns. They were made to make little kids happy." he exclaimed, then started to kiss lightly up and down my neck."Right, if your definition of happy means being kidnapped and turned into mincemeat.There is psychological proof that these things are creepy. Only psychopaths would be able to smile all the time, so I think it´s perfectly justified that I feel creeped out by them. And stealing his wig was a damn good way to get out of the sim, if I´m allowed to say so myself." I tried to save my dignity, but all attempts were lost, when his hands slipped under my shirt, gripping my bare waist."How very Erudite of you." Eric breathed against my lips."Yeah, isn´t it…" My voice trailed off, as my eyes were glued to his lips.Chuckling, he answered my silent pleas by brushing his lips against mine. I tried to keep contact, but he pulled a little farther away, scrutinizing me."I just want to tell you that I shouldn't have tainted your brother like I did. It´s not your fault he´s a prick." His words were followed by a peck on my nose."You´re right. That wasn´t your brightest moment." If I would have been coherent, I´m sure I would have told him exactly what I thought of him as I was listening to them. But sitting here, engulfed by his smell, his hands resting on my hip, thumbs rubbing circles on my bare skin, I just wasn't able to do anything that could have prevented me from getting what I knew I wanted.And I have never craved anyone as much as I did him in that exact moment.I was totally blaming my hormones for this.So before he could say anything that would burst my little bubble of determination and lust, I pulled his face towards mine, crashing my lips against his in a searing kiss.Growling at him, there was only one thing on my mind."Shut the fuck up and kiss me."Eric smirked against my lips and stripped me out of my shirt, throwing it away from us, clearly being turned on by my dominant behavior.Picking me up, he walked us towards his bedroom."My pleasure."And pleasure it was indeed.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

After I woke up in the morning, being sore in places I didn't even know could be sore, I had to face the real world head on, like only a dauntless would.My clothes, that I weren´t able to locate yesterday, were waiting carefully folded on the armchair. Neat-freak.Eric´s apartment was pretty cold, so I ´borrowed´ one of his sweatshirts and made my way into the equally freezing kitchen. Being the giant that he is, he assumed se wasn't really bothered by the fact, that his bedroom could be located in the antarctica.And there he stood, dressed in his leader uniform. The man that did certain things to me last night, things which should be considered illegal.I fiddled with my sleeves, while I watched him leaning on the counter, holding a mug to his lips, to, without a doubt, covering the shit eating grin that he wore."I see you´re still here. This time no sneaking out, eh, love?""What would be the point in that? My brother knows about us and I´m sure you´d just lure me right back in." I gladly accepted the glass of orange juice and the freshly cut fruit."Luring you in? You make it sound as if I was a dangerous animal, only waiting to devour you." In an instant he was behind me, attaching his lips to my neck."Maybe you're not as wrong as I thought." His seductive whisper managed to make me choke on the juice I tried to swallow. As I spluttered and coughed, trying to regain my breath, he just laughed, placing the cutlery in the sink, just like he´d done the night before.I looked around the apartment that was at least triple the size of mine and realized, that everything, from the black tiles to the black furniture, was freakily clean. Being from Abnegation, I tended to keep my apartment tidy, but this was on a whole new level. I bet that I wouldn't find a thing that was out of place. Creepy.Eric ended my inner monologue with his demands. Where they came from so abruptly, I had no idea."There are a few things we have to talk about. Like housing. I don't want you to live alone when you are further along in your pregnancy. The risk that you´d fall and no one would be near to help is too high. Especially with you being you.""What is that supposed to mean?" I began offended, but he just cut me off."Secondly, no stress. That means no work. You won't need the points, because I already own more than enough. If someone causes you distress, no matter who or what, send them to me. I will deal with the matter.I want you to maintain a healthy and generous diet. You´re too thin for almost eleven weeks. I would like you to gain a few pounds."By now I was ready to give him a piece of my mind."However the last rule is one, you should follow religiously if you don't want anyone to die a very painful death. No other man´s hands will come near your body, that is, if you want him to keep them.You are mine and no one touches what's mine."Throughout his rant he had move closer and closer, until he breathed the last sentenced directly besides my ear.His close proximity almost made me forget his affronting words, almost."Firstly I will work. I won't sit at home with idle fingers, overindulging in your hospitality. I will work. We can gladly talk about me cutting hours, but I will continue to work. The same is with housing. I am willing to compromise.I can handle people and I can most certainly handle myself. And my weight is perfect for eleven weeks, thank you very much." I frowned at him. "And this is something you should remember. I am no one's possession."Pulling me into a heated kiss, his next words were spoken softly, almost hiding the true meaning behind it."But that's where you are wrong, little lamb. The moment you fell into the lion's den was the moment you sealed your fate.That's when I knew you were mine. As you will be forever from that day on." With that he nibbled my ear.After this shocking and in a creepy way sweet declaration, I fled the apartment, seeking refuge in my own four walls. Still having several hours to spare, before I had to be at the infirmary, I laid down trying to catch up on some much needed sleep.A loud banging at my door jolted me out of my slumber, successfully sending me to the floor, tangled in sheets."I´m coming", I shouted groggily, pulling Eric's sweater over my head. I opened the door and was greeted with a worried looking Belle, that didn't waste a second to throw her arms around me."Thank god, you´re alright! I was out of my mind with worry. I heard what happened at the pit. And I wasn't there to see it." She rambled, while squeezing even tighter."Belle… can't breathe." I managed to get out.She let go off me "Oh, right." Closing the door, she pulled me to the couch. "Shoot. I want to know everything."And I told her everything. From Eric´s brother doing our ultrasound, to Uri finding the picture, the big revelation and the huge fight. I even recounted the last night and Eric´s insane demands this morning."Damn…", Belle breathed once I had finished. "I am once missing the train back, resulting in a steamy night with one of the patrol officers at the wall and here you are, stirring shit up all over the compound.""Ugh, don't remind me. I couldn't even walk home from Eric's flat without being judged. It´s awful.""Come on, they only know you´re shagging a leader, they don't even know you´re pregnant. You just have to pull through it. In two weeks everyone will talk about other shit. Like which transfer will first go nuts and empty magazines at the members.""My, my. You truly are an Amity at heart." I told her making us both laugh.She left shortly after, but not before promising to defend my honor with her life. Apparently she read something like this once in a historic novel and would like to try it out. Just too bad that I´m no lady and she´s certainly no gent.My shift that day went slow and boring; I assumed Eric being the reason I was prohibited to even touch a person. That asshole.So I spent my day holed up in the office, far away from prying eyes, which really was the only advantage of the stakes of paperwork that laid on my table. All these people staring made me itchy.That´s how the twelfth week of my pregnancy went by. I´d usually wake up in Eric´s apartment, after him tiring me out the previous night. He would wake me with fresh fruit and juice, before I´d went home to sleep some more. Then I would join Belle for lunch in the mess hall, being all too aware of the stares and whispers I was attracting. The afternoon was spent working through hideous paperwork, self-made dinner with Eric and going to bed with him, while indulging in sinful activities.I found out that Eric was surprisingly a great cook at one day, when he told me I shouldn't stand long periods of time. I especially loved his lasagna.Time flew by as I grew accustomed to my new routine.But the Friday before the choosing ceremony, which would be held this Sunday, I found myself all alone in the middle of the mess hall, desperately searching for a Belle, that was nowhere to be found.I clutched my tray, until my knuckles turned white, swaying my gaze over the rambunctious Dauntless members, until I meet the eye of my brother, who I managed to avoid ever since the fight at the ground of the pit.His glare was murderous, almost promising manslaughter as he ranked his gaze all over my now trembling body, analyzing me.Someone touched my elbow making me jump. Beside me I saw Uriah looking at me worriedly, before taking a glimpse at my brothers seething form."Four saw you coming and going to Eric´s flat all week. He´s on a murder streak. The initiates will be sure in for a treat with the both of them in one room.""Oh damn.. I didn't even think of them…" A wave of fatigue suddenly hit me, making me drop the tray, to clutch Uri´s arm and keep me from falling over."Hey what's wrong, Amy?" he caught my arms, holding me steady. I leaned my head on his shoulders for support, I know he would never drop me.Turning my head, I caught a glimpse of my brother, who worriedly looked over at us. He was half out of his seat, but seemed hesitant to come over. The worried look was replaced with a sneer, as two big arms wrapped themselves around my middle, pulling me into a hard chest."I´ve got you love."Resting all of my weight on Eric, he nodded a thanks at Uri, before guiding me to one of the raised tables, where the leaders and higher ranking members usually sat.I was aware that most of the cafeteria went still, having seen my moment of weakness and how accommodating their youngest leader had been towards me. Seeing him help me when I was so weak, instead of taking advantage, like he usually would, made sure every last ounce of our relationship being labeled as only a rumor was squished.Eric helped me to sit down and I immediately laid my head on the table. He seated himself beside me, pulling me into him, so he could support my weight. Slinging his arm around my lower back, he prevented me falling off the bench, I was sure."Have you eaten today? Anything other than the toast this morning, it is." Let the Spanish inquisition begin."No, I was too nauseous." I mumbled, while he fixed me something to drink and I gratefully took it."That´s not normal after the first trimester. You should be over morning sickness, not only getting it just now.""Every pregnancy is different. I´ve had patients that still got nauseous after 5 months, so it´s no big deal." I soothed him.I was then presented with a plate full of food. Eventhough I felt too tired to even think, I managed to munch down at least half of it.Being finished after a few minutes, Eric picked at the remaining food, while talking to Wayne. Something about Initiate numbers and bets on the faction of the first jumper.His deep, calming voice managed to lull me to sleep in only a few short moments.Being out like I light I wasn't aware of a lot of things that happened around me. I didn't see the glances Eric threw me, as he swept my hair out of my face, nor the curious stares he got from his friends and the other leaders in return.I didn't feel his lips against my furrowed brow, before he gently lifted me into his arms, laying my head against his chest, as he walked slowly through the rows of openly gaping members, for once not caring about his reputation, but showing everyone that I was his and that if they messed with me they´d have to answer to him.But the most important thing I missed was a certain blue eyed man, sitting beside the love of his life, having witnessed every single minute of Eric´s and mine interaction. He was now calculatingly staring at our retreating forms, cogs starting to turn inside his head.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Today was choosing day. Eric, being once again the leader to oversee initiation, had to get up at four o´clock, to prepare the arrival of today's Initiates.The ceremony would start at eight o´clock, so they would be here at twelve. After a tour of the compound, Max would give his speech in the mess hall, something I looked forward to every year.Before that, we had to inspect the net, where the kids would jump into from off the ledge, as well as the bathroom, that was less than hygienic and could be considered a crime to mankind.I actually found Eric snickering over a report, that was about the catastrophic conditions in the dorms. He looked like a little boy that got a candy bar. A evil little boy, but a child none the less.I woke up to Eric shuffling around, as he pulled up his combat pants and fastened the belt.He had meticulously ironed his clothes the evening before, to make them look flawless. No doubt an intimidation attempt. Control freak.The rest of his leader uniform consisted of a black V-neck t-shirt and a jacket with a stiff collar, with red lines around the seams, emphasizing his muscular built.He looked edible.Realizing I was awake and ogling him, Eric rounded the bed and sat down on the edge. I pushed my hair away from my face and leaned against him."You should go back to sleep. Today will be strenuous." He caressed my cheek."What exactly will be strenuous for me? You forbid me from even setting foot on a train, so I can't go to the ceremony. You got me off from work for two weeks. And you even banned me from leaving the apartment, so there will be nothing strenuous for me." I started to pout, only for Eric to shut me up with a kiss."You know it´s for your own best. Stubborn woman."He got off the bed, leaving my whining self behind."Can't make me late for choosing, love. Try to go back to sleep." The last part of the sentence was called over his shoulder, because he was already halfway out the front door.Being frustrated, but still tired, I huffed, throwing myself back onto the bed and tried to, for once, follow his advice.I awoke again much later. It was almost eleven o'clock and I started to prepare myself for the day. I wasn't just going to sit around in the empty flat, while the whole faction was up and about.Eric had called his brother after my falling-asleep in the cafeteria, which kind of surprised me since they seemed to not really get along.Doctor Coulter had then ordered me on bedrest for at least two days. He assumed that all the stress I was currently going through caused the fatigue, so I had nothing to do all day long.But today I was going to change that. The arrival of the fresh meat, what a lot of people called them, was a spectacle, no one wanted to miss. Starting with the declaration of the first jumper, the initiates would all be paraded into the mess hall, like young bulls used to be at auctions before the great war. That's also when the betting would start. Someone could think the Dauntless had too much points to spare.Choosing day was also my all-time-favorite holiday, since it was the day, I escaped hell. Sometimes not just metaphorically spoken.Since Tobias would be waiting downstairs at the net and Eric would be up the roof, I decided, that now was the perfect time to join the rest of my friends in the dining hall. Toby would sit with the initiates, like every year, so I took advantage of the situation to find out, how mad the rest of them were at me.When I walked through the compound I realized, that Belle had been right. Most people would still look at me wearily, but they soon turned away, speaking about more interesting topics.I spotted my table, or at last what it used to be, right away. Zeke was busy assaulting Uriah, as he kept him in a headlock and screamed at him to take something he said back. Lynn was talking to Marlene, while Will read through some report of sorts. Tris and Christina were gone, since they were Instructors.Christina and Lauren trained the dauntless born, while Toby and Tris would have the transfers.That was exactly how it had been when I arrived, two years ago. Since we had them, otherwise also known as Four and Six, I haven't seen much of Eric, while I was being trained myself.But apparently he had kept some sort of tabs on me, from what I learned the other night.When they saw me coming towards them, they all went quiet, looking at me."Hi", I greeted them shyly."There she is.", Uriah exclaimed, gripping my arm and pulling me onto his lap. "Damn girl, you sure know how to keep us on our toes."I had to laugh and wiggled my way off his lap onto the hard bench. "Believe me, that´s not what I wanted.How are you?""We?", Zeke snorted. "We are fine. You´re the one almost fainting. Your lovely brother is the one with the foul mood. Christina is pissed as fuck and your lover has some little protector complex shit going on. But we", he gestured around the table" are just dandy.""Well… that's great to know." I grimaced, not knowing what exactly to think of that or reply.We chatted for a few minutes and it was nice to talk to them without having to worry, too much. I now knew that all these people here where not exactly happy with what happened, but they accepted it.Tris and Christina came darting towards our table, cheeks flushed with the exertion."Have you heard?""No, what?" Uriah immediately being enraptured by the prospect of gossip."The real first jumper is some Amity boy. But that's not the best. Apparently some candor wanna-be managed to piss Eric off to an extent, that he threw him off the roof.""HE didn't?!" Uriah screamed, jumping up and down. "Wait you mean into the net, right?"This accusation, even if it was playful, kind of bothered me. "No matter what you might think of him, Eric wouldn't just kill anyone just because he´s annoyed. Especially not a transfer on his first day."Christina raised her eyebrows at that."You mean, just like he didn't almost let me fall into the chasm just because I conceded a fight?" She sassed sarcastically."Oh come on. That´s not the same and you know it. I´m not justifying his actions, not at all. It was an asshole-move. And He could have handled it a lot differently, but you did break the rules. He had to punish you to some extent.You should understand that, especially with you being an instructor yourself.""Woooow." Christina drawled. "He managed to transform you into a carbon copy of himself. Tell me, are you now too strutting through the compound, wallowing in your air of superiority in comparison to us mere mortals?""That´s not true and you know it."Tris glared at the both of us."Stop it right now." She hissed "Christina you know that it´s not true, leave her alone." As Christina strode away, looking murderously, to sit beside Will, Tris turned towards me. "You know better than to provoke her like this. If Christina is angry, all reasoning is lost with her.""I know. But I don't like how they all think the worst of him. He really isn't that bad." I looked at the floor.Tris sighed. "It´s just that we don't get to see this side of him much. But I saw how he carried you out of the mess hall, it was kinda sweet."The thought made me smile. "He can be sweet sometimes, you know?""I will believe it when I see it. And don't worry about Tobias. He´ll come along. "I looked at her skeptically."After what he said..."She looked me in the eyes, demanding all of my attention. "Don´t ever think that he meant what he said. He loves you to pieces and his conscience is killing him, after what he said to you.A few nights ago I found him sitting on the roof at three in the morning. He didn't even hear me coming and you know he is always on alert."Her portrayal of his mental state made me tear up. He was hating himself."I don't want him to hurt…" Tris started to rub my arm, which was a lot of body contact for her. It almost equaled a hug from any other person.We sat in silence, lost in our thoughts, until I felt a presence looming over me. I craned my neck, to see an annoyed Eric laying his hands on my shoulders."You shouldn't be here. Come on."He pulled me softly up from the bench, guiding me along."I had to get out of the flat. It was so boring. ", I whined at him, clinging to his elbow."Shouldn't a former Abnegation be familiar with boredom? What did you do for fun as kids, counting tiles?"He earned himself a stinky eye, as we arrived at his usual table."And what exactly did you do for fun? Counting bacteria cultures like the rest of those noses or were you the exception, who tortured squirrels at night?"Wayne´s booming laugh interrupted our playful glaring match."She got you good, man." He hold out his hand for me. "The name´s Wayne, by the way. I believe we haven't been formerly introduced, yet." I took it, studying him. He was undeniably attractive, with his tall, lean build, his brown messy hair and the tattoo-sleeves on his arms, that intermingled in artistic patterns and swirls."No, we haven´t. I´m Amy." I smiled, while he just chuckled. "Oh believe me, I know. You´re the only thing our badass leader over there talks about these days."Eric glared at him, shutting him up with a well-placed punch to the shoulder.After Wayne rubbed his shoulder and glared at him, we slipped into an easy conversation.Everyone peeked up, as the initiates came into the room. The transfers, that were still wearing their former faction´s clothing, were huddled together in a group, eyes wide and staring, while the confidant dauntless born slipped right into the open places in the now completely stuffed cafeteria.My brother lead them to a table that was reserved for them and sat down, like I had predicted. I counted seven candor, five erudites and two amitys. Making 14 transfers and with the dauntless born, where only two had deflected, 31 in total."You see that redhead candor asshole over there?" I perked up."That´s what I wanted to ask you! Did you really throw someone down the roof?!""Yup, little fucker had it coming. Who does he think he is, switching to dauntless and telling your future leader that he doesn't look like `leader material`. He was lucky that I didn't miss the net on purpose."Wayne stared at him wide-eyed. "He insulted you in front in front of all the initiates and you didn't kill him?!" Wane turned to me "What the hell have you done to him?"Eric scoffed at his best friend. "Don´t exaggerate, she didn't do anything. He just wasn't worth the paperwork I would have to fill out at his sudden demise."I soon realized while we bantered, that I really liked Wayne. He had a bubbly personality, throwing jokes all the time and making fun of Eric. He reminded me of Uriah, eventhough I knew Wayne could be a scary bastard in his patrol officer-mode or when someone decided to mess with him.We somehow came to talk about our jobs. Like many others, Wayne couldn't believe that I chose to work as a nurse, despite my high ranking, so I tried to explain it to him."I could never be a leader. For obvious reasons. I´m nowhere near authoritative enough, not to mention that I wouldn't want to be one. There are some people that are born to lead and I´m not one of them.My combat skills are not the best, so that eliminated every chance of being instructor or patrol officer. Weapon development wasn´t really my style, so there was only one higher ranking job that would have suited me.I actually toyed with the thought of becoming ambassador, but the prospect of meeting my father and going back to Abnegation kind of ruined it for me."Eric looked at me as if I´ve gone mad."So you took a job as a nurse, to not be send back to Abnegation?""Kind of. And I like to help people so I thought I would like it. And I was right."Wayne threw me a strange look, while Eric pinched the bridge of his nose."What?" I swayed my gaze between them.Wayne cleared his throat, before asking "You are aware that you can choose, which faction you will be send to?""You can?""I´m going to talk to Max. There will be a place available at Amity, soon. You´ll be perfect for that one." Eric sighed, before standing up."You´d do that for me?" His efforts touched me on a deep level."Don´t pretend you didn't know that, princess. I have to get up there, Max is waiting for me." Eric kissed my forehead, before strutting trough the rows of tables.Waynes shouted "Whipped!" followed him all the way up to the stairs.After a few minutes of chatting with Wayne, Max appeared on the ledge of the iron platform, that was built for announcements. Standing on it, one could overlook the whole mess hall.To Max` right, Maggs and Eric were standing, each one a few feet behind him. To his left, the other leaders Harrison and Bud were mirroring their stances. Hands interlocked behind their backs and chins raised high, they looked ready to take on the world.Gripping the railing, Max raised one of his hands to stop his members from banging their cups onto the metal desks.His voice rang out, drowning out even the last chatter."Today we welcome our new Initiates, the future of Dauntless. You´ve chosen the warrior faction.You chose to protect the members in this city with all you have, even if it is your life. But furthermore, you chose us as your family.Now listen to these words. And listen closely, for all they will determine the rest of your lives. These words shall be what you think about every morning after you wake up and every evening before you go to sleep. They are to influence your deeds and shall become the values you teach your children. So listen good to your new family. Pay attention to your new laws."We believe that cowardice is to blame for the world's injustices.
We believe that peace is hard-won, that sometimes it is necessary to fight for peace.
But more than that:"Max started to speak on his own, the other leaders soon following suit. More and more people joined them, until at one point, everyone inside the cafeteria, except the transfers, were reciting the manifesto, in a way that never ceased to enthrall me, just like the first time I heard these words in these same four walls.Our voices echoed through the compound, as we all once again were reminded of the contract we signed with our blood, as it hit the coals, the moment we choose to be brave."We believe that justice is more important than peace.
We believe in freedom from fear, in denying fear the power to influence our decisions.

We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.

We believe in acknowledging fear and the extent to which it rules us.

We believe in facing that fear no matter what the cost to our comfort, our happiness, or even our sanity.

We believe in shouting for those who can only whisper, in defending those who cannot defend themselves.

We believe, not just in bold words but in bold deeds to match them.

We believe that pain and death are better than cowardice and inaction because we believe in action.

We do not believe in living comfortable lives.

We do not believe that silence is useful.

We do not believe in good manners.

We do not believe in empty heads, empty mouths, or empty hands.

We do not believe that learning to master violence encourages unnecessary violence.

We do not believe that we should be allowed to stand idly by.

We do not believe that any other virtue is more important than bravery."

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Eric had been true to his words and talked to Max, much sooner than I would have guessed.At Monday, the day after choosing, eight o´clock sharp, someone banged against Eric´s front door. Groggily as I was, I didn’t bother with my appearance and stumbled to the front door, my hair all over the place. I think Max, who was standing on the other side, thought it was the beginning of the Zombie apocalypse, our ancestors were so obsessed with.But they proved us that they didn’t need a virus or some foreign species to destroy them, they managed to do it on their own just fine. So now I was standing here, in front of our head leader, only dressed in one of Eric´s shirts.He came for my application, that I had supposedly submitted to him yesterday and he wanted to talk about the prospects of my new job. I was to join a special program, close to the ones leadership candidates had to absolve. Cursing Eric, I knew that the saying was right: Nothing works as fast as an Erudite´s mind. I invited Max in, before going to close the door. From the corner of my eye I saw one of the CCTV cameras zooming in and I kind of knew, that my brother had just witnessed the whole scene... When I came out of the bedroom, now fully dressed, Max had plastered the whole dining table with time tables, brochures and a manual that was called “How to survive the peace serum”. Talk about being positive.We went over my new duties, on how to file certain files and to which extend my condition would obstruct my training.I was to work at an office for most of the time, with some trips to amity, which were to be permitted by Eric, so it would be safe...Apart from my professional changes, I was now beginning to notice certain things about my body slowly transforming.I wasn’t one to being overly concerned with my appearance, so I didn’t spend much time in front of the mirror. Despite that Eric found me one morning in front of his´, openly admiring the little bump that slowly started to show. Coming up behind me, he caressed my stomach, while kissing along my neck, before he started the shower and stripped me out of his t-shirt, that has become my favorite nightwear.Having no Christina around and not fitting in my jeans any more was certainly a problem only leggings could solve. So I wore them, day in, day out. Mostly paired with one of Eric´s sweatshirts, Belle called me `casual, but beautiful`. With my hair in an abnegation like bun and no trace of make up one my face, I was sure she was lying, but her amity upbringing prevented her from telling me the truth....At fourteen weeks, two weeks into initiation, I was well situated at my new office, exactly three doors down from Eric´s.Having gained at least five pounds, much to Eric´s pleasure, because of my new found addition to the infamous chocolate cake, I had to make a detour to the cafeteria to get some, before informing Eric, who was with the transfers, of my impending departure to Amity. Maybe the cake was just to soothe my nerves, before coming into a close proximity with my brother.Stuffing my face, I walked, on aching feet may I add, towards the training room and hearing the initiates, before I even went inThrowing open the large metal doors with a little too much force, I interrupted what looked like an intense knife throwing lesson. The bang of the door meeting the wall made all of the heads snap towards me. Feeling more than fifteen pairs of eyes, especially deep blue and steely grey ones on me, I blushed. “Has anyone told you to stop throwing?!” Eric shouted, before coming to meet me halfway across the room, playing almost threatingly with a knife.“How are they doing?” I asked fascinated, taking a few more steps towards them.Eric scoffed. “How do you think they do? Half of them wouldn’t hit the target, if it was five feet in front of them, much less getting the knife to actually stick.”“I always loved throwing knifes. Did you know I was the best at that?” I asked him dreamily, while unconsciously rubbing my belly.“I know. I watched you nail some guys sleeve to the target, without scraping his wrist. You claimed that it slipped, but I heard him calling you a worthless stiff only a few minutes before.” Eric smirked, making my eyes bulge. “You knew that I did it on purpose and you didn’t punish me?”He placed his hand on my bump, while whispering to me. “What can I say? He had it coming.”“He did.”, I smiled, trailing off ”That were the times…” “Certainly. However I like to spend all my day talking to you, I have initiates to torture. So to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?”“Johanna has called for an inpro-meeting, so we have to leave in like half an hour.” From Eric´s facial impression he was less than pleased about that.“Why on such short notice? Now we have no one to clear the routes to amity. There are factionless everywhere.”“Max knew you would order something like that, so he already did. And I don’t know what the meeting is about, she wouldn’t tell us.”He scowled. “I still don’t like it.”“I know, but I have to get going.” I shut him down, before he could manage to sway my decision. He certainly had a way with that.Looking over at the initiates, I met my brothers gaze. Instead of the wild hate that they held a month ago, they were now indecipherable. It wasn’t really a cold look either, so I smiled at him, but he just turned away.I already turned to leave and kiss Eric goodbye, but I heard two of the candor girls whispering something that made my insides burn hot with white furry.“Man, what did she do to Four, to make him look at her like that?” the blonde one whispered loudly.“I´m sure she fucked him and then went over to do Eric. But I wouldn’t know how she would manage that, with the way she looked.” That made the other one snicker, while the boy beside her, that I recognized as the first jumper, looked between them and then to me and Eric, who had gritted his teeth so hard, that it looked like he´d break his jaw any minute. Placing a hand on his arm to tell him, I was alright, I stepped away from him, snatching the knife out of his hand and proceeded towards the brown haired bitch, that managed to piss off the wrong pregnant woman.“Hey Candor.” I called, smiling sweetly at her. Too sweetly. And she knew that. “Didn’t your mother teach you, when to shut up? From your smart mouth I´d say not.” I was now right in her face and cocked my head to the side.“Do you really think it is any of your busy what or who your instructor is doing in their time off? Or are you just jealous that you´re never going to feel their hot muscles moving against you, as they drive themselves inside you over and over and over again.. until you don’t even know your own name anymore.” I breathed the last things into her ear, so lowly that only her friend and the Amity boy could hear me.Then I took a few calculated steps backwards, smirking at her fear filled face. But just as I decided to walk away and don’t teach her a further lesson, she opened her mouth to be brave again.“Don’t think you´re something special. I heard they both have their whores all over the compound.” She taunted me, while looking from Eric to Four, only now realizing that she made an inexcusable mistake. Never insult your instructor.“The problem with you transfers is that you sometimes don’t see the line between bravery and idiocy. But someone being as blind as she is, is something I´ve never heard off.” I told all of them calmly, but I think she got the message. I walked towards the door, that would lead me to the truck,that was waiting for me, playing with the knife in my hand.Eric, Four and everyone else watched me, as I turned around one more time, throwing them a wink. The brunette one turned her head right when I called.“Oh and bitch, don’t you ever make the mistake to mess with me again.” With that I threw the knife, not even bothering to look where it went. As I strode out the door, the thud and the piercing scream told me I had hit dead center.I smiled to myself, picturing the scene inside my head:The knife, stuck in the bullseye of the target, while it has liberated my new friend from her almost waist long ponytail in the process, single strands of hair still floating in the air, as I had long ago disappeared into the depths of the dark compound.....Max had was too busy to go to amity, so I found Bud, one of the other leaders, waiting for me. He asked me what took me so long, but I just laughed and told him to wait for the gossip, while we got into the large military truck.Secretly I was glad it wasn’t Maggs, who was chaperoning me, since she scared the shit out of me, especially with her outburst, when I informed them of the shots being mixed up.Bud was a great guy, being married to Tori, who had created the masterpiece on my back in a few, painful sessions. He owned the tattoo parlor and to keep the time of our travel short, he told me all the funny stories of massive guys crying like babies when they were tattooed, which made me cry in laughter, in return.In no time we arrived at amity and were greeted with the all present kindness of its members.It wasn’t my first time here, far from it. Every year being the selfless man he is, our father send me and Tobias here to help with the harvest. I would pick apples, while he helped to plow the land. It was tedious, but satisfying work.We´ve spent many great falls here and if it wouldn’t have been for Tobias deflecting to dauntless, I could have imagined living my life here, full of happiness and joy, many children of mine playing in the fields.But in the end, I choose to be brave, to be able to be near the most important person of my life, or what he used to be, since he hasn’t said one word to me in more than a month.Shaking these thoughts out of my head, I got out of the car and was greeted by a middle aged blonde man, tanned from being outside all year.He lead us to the barn, where Johanna´s office was located on the second floor. As we walked through the stables, I caressed a beautiful white horse, before Bud placed a hand on my back, softly shoving me further along.At the top of the stairs we were greeted by Johanna.“Bud, it’s so nice to have you here, after such short notice. Oh, and you must be the new ambassador. I´m Johanna, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” She said enthusiastically, pulling me into a hug. Before I could tell her, that we actually already have met before, I saw a man stepping out of the side of her office from the corner of my eyes. He spoke up, making the blood freeze inside my veins, knowing who he was without even turning around. “Amelia” I turned around, looking into the eyes of my nightmare, the man who I haven’t seen for more than two years. “Marcus”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

If this was some sort of karma for cutting the bitch´s hair, then I was really sorry.I was standing an Amity soil, facing the man that made my life hell for 18 years.How do you do that?Was I supposed to be angry, scared and demur or should I stay calm and rational? One thing was sure, he would never dare to lay hand on me here, not in front of two leaders.I realized, as I looked at him, that I wasn’t the same girl that left abnegation two summers ago.No.I didn’t flinch any longer if someone touched me, I didn’t get flustered, just because a door banged somewhere besides me and the most important thing, I was no longer weak.So I squared my shoulders and looked him into the eyes, something I never dared to do back home, since it would have earned me extra lashes.As I did so, I saw the malice flicker through them, no doubt he was riled up by my open display of defiance. Seeing him like that, unable to expose his true nature, I smirked at him.He went to take a threatening step towards me, but stopped himself as Bud cleared his throat, stepped casually into the space between us. But the weary glance he shot me, was confirmation enough that Bud remembered my fear landscape. Or at least Toby´s.“Marcus, it´s a pleasure to meet you.”, he shook my father´s hand, before clapping them once. “Let´s not waste time with empty phrases, let´s get to work. Why was our presence so desperately needed here?” Bud got right down to business. Johanna´s smile never faltered, while my father looked as if he swallowed a lemon.“You see, the number of factionless in between Abnegation and Amity is increasing at a worrisome speed. There have been attacks to members and no dauntless patrol was anywhere near to help them. The factionless are getting more and more restless, because of the lack of food, which was ordered from Erudite. We have to give them bigger rations or you have to send more patrols out.”Marcus informed Bud, who looked positively livid.“And why are we hearing about this just now? There was neither a report of increasing numbers, nor of an attack? Instead of running to Amity you should have come to us.” Bud hissed at him, making Johanna step in to keep the peace.“Settle down, my friends. I´m sure we will find a suitable solution for all of us.” “If the dauntless would do their jobs right we wouldn’t have to...” “No, if you´d reported that shit, we would have known where to send our patrols to.”Both of them were now speaking simultaneously, until Johanna called out, to stop them.“Gentlemen, there is no need to shout. Not here, not now.” Marcus´ face was pretty red and he seemed flustered. “Just because the dauntless think they are above us all, doesn’t mean that Abnegation has to answer to them. We provide the city with its government, we don’t have to report anything.” “That’s not true.” I contradicted him in a calm voice.  “Failure to report incidents that threaten the faction system or it´s members, mean sanctions against said faction. I´m sure you´re aware of that faction law, Marcus?”The facial expression he was now sporting, was the one that promised the worst beating possible and two years ago I would have run, but that would have been me, breaking one of our most treasured laws.

We believe in facing that fear no matter what the cost to our comfort, our happiness, or even our sanity.

So I stood my ground.“If this is some conspiracy against me or Abnegation, be aware that you will never lead this city.” His lunatic antics, which I knew too good, just made me laugh humorlessly.“If you think that I want to even have the tiniest thing to do with leading our city, after I saw what it does to a person, first hand, you must be even more senile, than when I left you.”That was the last straw. Marcus came at me, to strangle me, no doubt, but Bud grabbed his collar and pushed him away from us.This exchange enraged the so peaceful Amity representative to an extent, that she resorted to shout. “That is quite enough! There will be no fights on Amity soil!”Bud turned to her and raised his hands in a calming gesture. “There won’t be one, Johanna”, before addressing the both of them. “I´m afraid we have to leave now. Got Faction business to take care of.We will send someone out to investigate further. Have a good day.” And with that he ushered me out of the office towards our vehicle. I was only able to wave at Johanna, before we were already down the stairs.When I stepped out of the barn I released a breath, I didn’t even know I was holding.“You alright?”, Bud asked lowly, placing his hand on my lower back.“I´m fine”, I smiled reassuringly. “I´ve dealt with him before. He is kind of delusional and that doesn’t seem to get better. But I´m used to it.”“How we can let someone like that rule our city.”, he shook his head, helping me into the truck. “You were really brave up there. It was the right decision to make you ambassador. You are born to do something great.”“Well, it was the dauntless thing to do, so I didn’t have much choice.”The motor roared to life and we made our way towards the wall, back into the city, but I could still feel him staring at me, from the huge windows of the second story of the barn.....When I came home, physically and mentally exhausted, I was greeted by men that hauled packing boxes through Eric´s flat. I stood in the door, gaping at the scene. Where these the photographs that should be hanging on my bedroom wall?“I´m sorry, but what exactly do you think you´re doing?” I demanded answers from them.“We´re just moving stuff from one of the flats down from the infirmary´s floor up here. Leaders orders.” One of them told me.“Oh and the inhabitant of that flat gave you permission?”“Yes, I mean where else would we get the keys from?” My eyebrows shoot up at that. I made my way over to the bowl where I usually kept them. And nothing. They were gone.Rubbing my temples, I shook my head, because I knew there was no arguing with them.“Just… just make sure to close the door behind you.”I went into the en suite bathroom of my new apartment and took a desperately needed bath. I was dead tired, but that didn’t stop the thoughts from running through my mind.How I stood up to my father and how that would make Tobias proud. How Eric had apparently decided that it was time for me to move in. How he didn’t even ask, which kind of bothered me. Of what my new job would entail and how we would be able to stop the factionless attacks from happening further on… Before I could fall asleep in the tube, I got out, braided my hair and laid down to take a nap....My ´nap´ lasted over three hours and I woke up to something or rather someone lying on top of me, kissing my neck.“You know, one could say you´re taking advantage of me” I murmured, making him chuckle.“Oh princess, we both know you are willing to take everything I have to give to you.” Eric teased me and on que, I blushed.Despite being completely engulfed by darkness, I knew because of his chuckling that he knew too.“You are so easy to tame. And here I thought you unleashed your inner bitch today.”“Well I had, but I guess the meeting with my father this afternoon kind of put her in her place.”Eric almost jumped off me, his body taunt like a bow. “Your what?!”I pushed his chest down, laying my head onto it, nestling myself into his embrace. “He was at Amity, waiting in Johanna´s office.” As he went to get up again, I had to double my efforts on keeping him pinned. “Don’t worry, nothing happened. He was just a little bit more delusional and a lot less scary than I knew him to be. Could have been Bud standing in front of me, but still.” Now it was Eric´s turn to pull me to him.“Did that bastard do anything to you?”“No, but he was close to when I reminded him of his incompetence.” I chuckled. “He was really afraid of Bud. Especially when he grabbed his collar.”Eric raked his neck to look at me.“They got handy in Johanna´s office?” He started to laugh. “How did the tree-huger take that?”“Well, she denied them the permission to carry on.” I laughed with him.“That’s kind of feisty for her.”“Mhm…” I kissed his jaw.”Now that we´re already talking about permission…” I straddled him. “Who gave you permission to move all my things in here?”Eric rolled his eyes at me. I just realized now he did that often.“First of all, I´m a leader, I don’t need anyone´s permission. And secondly,” he flopped me over, so he was on top “you haven’t been to your flat, since we became an item. And we already talked about you being all alone, so don´t pretend it came out of nowhere or to be it so big of a change, love.”His patronizing ways made me pout.“But you could have at least asked me…”“Fine.”, he huffed exasperatedly. “Amy would you like to move into the flat, you´ve been calling a home for the last five weeks?”I pretended to think about it, before beaming at him.“Well since you asked so nicely… I would love to.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

At 16 weeks my little bump could be seen through t-shirts and tank-tops, so to avoid the rumor mill, that had finally calmed down a little, I switched to sweatshirts and loose cardigans. Every time Eric would see me dress in something baggy, he would frown disapprovingly. He wanted to declare my pregnancy to the whole compound. Not that he had to wait much longer.I´ve had my second ultrasound, again with Eric´s brother being our doctor. I think he was one of the only people Eric trusted, to not fuck anything up.The initiates have been here for a month now and I started to realize that the constant overseeing of the training, drained Eric´s energy. He didn´t only have the transfers to turn into suitable members, but he also had to make sure the dauntless born didn´t get too cocky to fuck up their ranks.The first stage would take 10 weeks in total. After that, 5 weeks of emotional training, also known as the sims and one final week to prepare them for the fear landscapes, with the final test, that would wrap initiation up.The war games would take place in the last week of combat training, while visiting day was exactly two months after choosing. My brother had made the first weeks of initiation hell for Eric. Defying him at every turn, Eric was close to snapping, especially since the tight knit group of candors caused a lot of problems.The two girls from the training room were always found, wondering around the halls after hours. They spent a lot of time inside the member’s apartments and I could only guess what they were up to.The brunette one, Kayla, hadn’t forgiven me for cutting her hair into a bob-style and glared at me every time I walked by, making me snicker in satisfaction.The Redhead candor, Eric threw off the roof, managed to nail an erudite girls hand to the target, claiming `the knife slipped`.He earned himself a punch to the nose from Four and after waking up in the infirmary, with the latter being broken, he was sentenced to 4 weeks of cleaning duty in the mess hall.I often met Belle for lunch or the others throughout my day, eventhough my new program was keeping me on my toes constantly. Metaphorically spoken, since I was really sitting all day long.I tended to work out in the morning for at least half an hour, before going to the office, to make up for that.I wasn’t really going out at night, since I was way too tired. They usually consisted of a quiet dinner and some adult time....Today marked the start of my eighteenth week. I had gained more than 13 pounds and I was slowly starting to show, despite my sweaters. According to all the pregnancy books I horded, my baby was now a little bit bigger than a pear.For the last few days I had felt strange flutters in my underbelly, every time I sat down or walked. Since I didn’t want Eric to worry, I never told him.As I was walking towards our usual table in the mess hall, consisting of Eric, Wayne, and a few other leaders, I placed a hand on my belly, furrowing my brow.Not being fooled by my smile, Eric looked at me concerned, pulling me into him.“Is everything alright, Amy?” he asked. I turned my upper body towards him, wanting to answer his question, but I felt something inside me move and I gasped.“Amy?!” Eric called concerned, making a few heads turn around to look at us.“Everything’s alright… I guess…”“What do you mean, you guess?” He asked on high alert.“Nothing’s wrong... I just think… I think our baby just kicked me.” I soothed him, rubbing my stomach.Eric just stared at me, like Wayne opposite of him, before his face contorted into a large grin. He proceeded to stuck his hands under my sweatshirt and waited.“I think he likes when you talk to him.”, I whispered, leaning my head against his shoulder.“No, don´t” Wayne cried in mock horror. “Don’t give that egocentrically asshole another reason to spew his bullshit. He already loves his voice as much as he loves that little alien, that’s growing inside you.”“Oh fuck you, Wayne.” Eric replied, smirking. ”We both know even you couldn’t resist me, or that voice of mine.”I looked between them, a little creeped out by the turn our conversation was taking.“Did I miss something? I´m getting a vibe of Bromance here.”“No love you didn’t.” Eric glared at Wayne. “And don’t you insinuate something like that again, or I will have to show you exactly how straight I am.” The moan that was bubbling out of me, couldn’t be stopped, as he nibbled on my earlobe.Wayne was gagging at our obvious PDA. The strange sensation occurred again and I jumped.Eric, who still had his hand on my belly, looked down in wonder.“I felt him.”“It´s so strange, to have something move inside you.”Eric fretted at this words. “It´s not strange. It´s a wonder.”I didn’t know what to reply to that, so I just kissed him.As I felt the baby moving inside me again, Eric pressed his forehead against mine, looking into my eyes.“You know, I love you. The both of you.”His confession made my heart stop and my jaw drop.I looked at him for at least a minute, without saying anything, before I brushed the tears away from my face, pressing my lips to his to retaliate.“I love you, too.”  And then Wayne had to ruin the probable most romantic moment of my entire life.“That was so sweet, I want to puke”...Later that week I was on a detour through the whole compound. I was training under Maggs, to learn the fine lines between diplomacy and insulting people.Since Maggs wasn´t quite one, to shy back from any confrontation, her teaching me, was a little bit of a dubious technique.But I was wrong, there was an easy solution for that problem. Maggs intimidated everyone around her to an extent, that they had to be the diplomatic ones.Problem solved. Not.Something like that wasn’t really my style, so I had to work a new technique out on my own. . I was her slave for the day, so Maggs send me to the training room to get Eric sign a paper, which I had to bring to the different side of the compound, to the weapon-tech lab. There I had to get another folder, to bring that one to the pit. And as a last stop, Maggs wanted a coffee from one of the shops in there, since the one from the mess hall apparently `tasted like shit`.On a good day that would have taken at least half an hour, but my feet were aching and I was already tired, so there was no way I would be that fast. I arrived at the training room and looked for a sign of Eric, but there was none. Only my brother stood in the middle of the room, overseeing a fight.Since he was my only chance of getting this shit done today, I made my way over.Toby saw me coming, but kept his gaze at the fight in front of him.I stopped besides him, watching the first jumper and another boy fight. They had gotten pretty good, being already more than halfway through the first stage.My brother saw my scrutinizing gaze and to my surprise, he shared his opinion with me.“They are slowly getting better. Though the candors are still insufferable.” He eyed me, before turning back to the fight. “He´s not here, but he should be soon. He took someone to the infirmary.”“Oh…” I smiled at him. “He just has sign something for Maggs, so I can take it to the labs.”Frowning his forehead, he looked at me again. “Should you be walking so far?”“I´ll be fine. I´m pregnant, not hurt or something like that.” I chuckled. “But I have to get going, I don’t want Maggs to think, that I don’t respect her orders or something equally horrendous.”I went to leave, but Tobias grabbed my elbow.“Amy, we have to talk.”“I know, Toby. But I really have to go now.”He frowned before suggesting “Are you free tonight? You could come over, Tris is cooking.”“Nothing is better than a good ole abnegation meal. I would love to.” I joked.He nodded curtly, no doubt dismissing me and I walked to the doors, where Eric appeared, with a smile on my face.“Did I just see you talking to number boy?” He raised one eyebrow.“Yep, he invited me to dinner.” I beamed at him, before presenting the documents.“Just great.” Eric drawled, thumbing through the notes and signing on different places.“You´re good to go.”“Thank you, mister. See you later.” With a goodbye kiss I was out of the training room, before he could reply...One way to the tech-labs, where people like Will invented new weapons, took me 25 minutes. So I was positively drained, when I was back at the pit. I delivered the folder I got there to one of the patrol officers who was, surprisingly, Wayne.“If I would have known, that you´re the one hauling that thing through the compound, I would have done it myself.” He said, snatching the heavy thing up.All of these people patronizing me, started to rile me up. “I´m pregnant. Not disabled.”“That has nothing to do with that. The compound is dangerous, especially for pregnant women. Listen to me when I say, that no one wants to know what Eric would be capable off, if something happened to you.”I haven’t often seen Wayne as serious looking, as he was now.“I´ll be fine. I promise.” I quieted him down, before I dragged him to the coffee shop...We had a great time, Wayne even bought me a muffin. As we parted ways, I with the coffee for Maggs in one hand, I was already halfway down the stairs, as some of the initiates came towards me. I turned around, to wave a last goodbye to Wayne, when I felt someone barreling into me, making me stumble.I tried to grab something, anything, but there wasn’t anything near to prevent me from falling.The last thing I saw, before I tumbled off the ledge, where the railing should have been, was a female with short, brown hair.Free falling, I felt weightless for only a moment, before I hid the ground.Hard.Pain exploded all over my right side and I felt something inside my wrist snapping, before my head hit the ground and everything went black....I came back to consciousness, blinking rapidly, to hear people shout all around me. I realized, that I couldn’t have been out for long, just as someone dropped down besides my head.Feeling drowsy and as if my mind was made of cotton candy, I wasn’t able to focus on anything.Until something washed over me, making everything clear.Pain.Everywhere.From my hip, to my wrist and my head, everything was hurting so bad. So I did the only thing I could.I screamed.
As loud as I could.
“Amy! Amy!”, a blurred face came into view. “Shhh. Everything is going to be okay. Stay calm. I need you to stay calm.” He had his hands on both sides of my head, speaking frantically, before shouting through the pit. “Someone go call a doctor!”I don’t know how long I was lying there, before someone lifted my sweatshirt, to examine my belly. I heard gasps all around me. Someone spoke, someone who sounded almost like…“Adrian, she´s bleeding.” Wayne`s voice rang through my head.Bleeding…? Where…?“We have to get her to the infirmary to make sure, nothing´s ruptured. She may need surgery.”But I only wanted Eric.Or my brother.One of them would know what to do.
I was sure of that…
My eyes dropped shut, but Adrian wouldn’t let me sleep.
Why wouldn’t he let me sleep?
“Amy, I need you to stay awake for me. Can you do that?”“But I´m sooo tired…”“I know, Amy. I know. But you have to. For your baby.”My baby…I felt myself being lifted onto something like a stretcher. It probably was one.The swinging of that thing made me dizzy, so I closed my eyes.The last thought that was running through my mind, before I was engulfed by darkness, was, why only I hadn’t aimed at her neck.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Eric walked over to Four, they had been busy all morning with fights. The initiates were a lot more skilled, since when they arrived, but still had a long way to go.After dismissing them for lunch, Four dragged matts through the training hall, while Eric set up the knives.He took one and swirled it around his fingers, while leaning against the table and addressing Four, who was now standing a few feet away from him.“I see you grew some balls and decided to apologize to your sister.”“I intend to.” Four narrowed his at the young leader. “But as you are the one responsible for this whole mess, you should keep your mouth shut.”Not being intimidated in the slightest, Eric rolled his eyes at him.“I was drunk. So was she. And no one of us could have known that Erudite fucked up, so you should cut the bullshit and acknowledge, that I, and believe me I don’t want to say that, am going to be a part of that family bullshit you two have going on.”Four looked at Eric, as if he´d grown two heads.“Family? As in family you and me? What kind of a disaster would that be.?!”“Come on. You two are the poster childs for dysfunctional families. Just think about the possibilities.” Eric sighed dreamily. “Throwing daggers at each other, while celebrating faction day, training our kids to fight each other, but come on. We all know my son would beat yours any time.”Four started to look concerned. “Are you feeling alright? I think you just lost the rest of your marbles.” Eric laughed loudly. He didn’t know what it was, but he felt content. He just hummed in confirmation, before letting silence take over.“So the baby is a boy?” Four asked, squatting down, to pick up one of the weights.“What? Oh, no. I mean we don’t know yet. But I could picture us having a son running around here, scaring people.”At the mental image of a little boy with Eric´s face, Four had to grin. “As long as he doesn’t look like you”“What is that supposed to mean, number boy?” Eric shouted offended from his side of the training room. “I´m a pretty attractive man, if I say so myself. Just ask your sister.”“Dude.” Four deadpanned, making Eric laugh. They stayed silent for a few minutes. But their reverie was interrupted by the first jumper, barging into the room, breathing heavily.“What happened?”, Four asked, switching to Instructor mode.“Sir. Eric, Sir.” He stumbled over his words.Rolling his eyes Eric snarled at him.” Spit it out, already.”“Your, uhm, girlfriend? Sir. Something happened?”“What happened?” Four repeated, ready to snap someone´s neck.“Sir, the stairs in the pit… she fell down, where there’s no railing. They´re taking her to the infirmary, Sir. I didn’t know she was pregnant.” Eric and Four exchanged panicked looks.“What do you mean, she was?” Eric took predatory steps towards him, but Four stepped into his way, holding out his hands.“I don’t know anything, Sir. But she fell pretty far. But there was a doctor right away, so... I have no idea!”, he was getting distressed.Without another glance at him, both men ran out of the training room, towards the infirmary....When Wayne, who was pacing in front of the treatment room, running his hands through his hair, heard the doors being slammed against the wall, he knew exactly, who had arrived.He hurried towards Eric, who looked ready to murder someone.“Where is she?”, he shouted, making several nurses flinch.Wayne grabbed the front of his vest, to prevent him from doing something stupid.“They had to take her into surgery. She broke her wrist when she fell and she had bleedings. They don’t know if your baby will be fine. I´m so sorry, man.”“What do you mean, they don’t know?” Eric pushed him away. “I want to know what is happening, right now. I have to see her.”“You can’t go in there, Sir. They are operating.” A nurse approached him. “As soon as we…”“Who the hell do you think you are, telling me what I can and can’t do?!” Eric got more riled up every second.But Four had enough of it. Grabbing the front of his vest, like Wayne did, he slammed his superior against the wall, his head recoiling off the stone.“Now you listen to me.” Four hissed. “That is my sister and my nephew in there, so don’t think you´re the only one who cares, because we all do.”“That is my child in there. And it could be dying.” Eric screamed, resulting in another slam against the wall.“If you would shut up for just a second, Wayne can tell us everything you want to know. You behaving like a selfish asshole will result in nothing for once.” He let go of the vest, pushing Eric away from him. Four raked his hand through his hair, before asking Wayne to recount everything, now that he successfully shut Eric up.“She brought me a folder and we went to get something to eat. As she was walking away, to bring Maggs her coffee, she came close to a group of initiates and the brown haired one, you know Kayla, I think, stumbled into her. You know the one she threw a knife at.”Four looked at Eric, who look deadly calm by now.“Are you telling me what I think you do?”Wayne closed his eyes and dropped his head in defeat.“I don’t know. But it didn’t really look like an accident. She staggered way too unnatural… And it would be too big of a coincidence…”Eric had balled his fist so tight, that his knuckles went white.He walked to the front desk, where the nurse informed him that he would have to wait at least an hour for news, since Amy was just being prepped for surgery.Having his answer, his walked to the doors. Crossing the hall, he was halted from Four´s hand on his chest.“Don’t do something impulsive or something you might regret.”Eric looked him square in the eyes, before replying.“Don’t worry, I won’t.”And with that he was out the door....Eric knew exactly where he would find his initiates. Arriving at the mess hall, the way took him almost half of what it usually would. He barged through the doors like the man on a mission he was.Taking a glance at the raised platoon, where he would normally sit, he saw with satisfaction that none of the other leaders were there to stop him.And there she was. The innocent looking little girl, that could in this moment have destroyed his life.He came to a halt right behind her, feeling calm and completely content with what he was about to do.“Initiate, stand.”She did as he said and turned around to look at him. She even dared to smile at him suggestingly. “Sir?”“I have a few questions for you, initiate.”He saw her gulping. She was afraid.Good. She should be.“Everything for you, Sir.”“Great. Let´s start.” Eric took her hand and pulled her into the middle of the mess hall. Everyone around them stopped, to look at what expired in front of them.To give his victims a false sense of security has always been one of Eric´s strengths.Some could say it was a treat only sociopaths possessed, but he didn’t care.It was getting the job done.“Let´s begin with an easy question. Where have you been half an hour ago?”He played with her fingers.Being quite smug with the outcome, she answered him. “I was at the pit.”He smiled at her. “Seems plausible. Have you witnessed what happened there?”She blinked rapidly.“Oh, you mean that chick falling down the stairs? I saw it, but I was nowhere near her.” This time Eric beamed.“Wrong answer.” And with that he took her pointer finger and thrusted it back, hard.The crack of the bone and the following scream vibrated through the stone, bringing a strange feeling of satisfaction to Eric.“Why don’t we try again?” he said, grabbing another finger.“Stop, please stop. I was walking the opposite direction and she came than the stairs, okay?” Kayla wailed, trying to get out of his death grip.“That wasn’t so hard, was it.”, Eric asked softly. “Keep up the good work.”The initiate cried, trying with pleading eyes to will anyone to help her. But no one would even think of speaking to Eric, much less asking for mercy. “I want you think good about your next answer. You see, I don’t like people lying to me. So…were you the one that pushed her?” The girl started wailing, as he took her middle and ring finger into his hand.“Yes, I stumbled against her and she fell.”Eric hummed in appreciation. “Tell me, did you do it on purpose? Maybe out of… revenge?”“No, no! I didn’t. It was an accident. She just fell. Why would I do that?”He sighed. “Why don´t I believe you?”Pushing the two fingers back, they broke just like wigs, nothing to keep against his strength, just like the first one had.Her ear-piercing screams slowly caused Eric a headache. “Last chance to tell me the thruth, sweety.”“Okay, I pushed her! I pushed her because she had it coming! She threw a knife at me! She could have killed me!” She screamed at him, clutching the broken fingers to her chest.“Oh, you´re going to wish she did.” He whispered softly in her ear, before speaking up.“Seems like this was the first time in your life that you managed to hit bulls-eye.”He grabbed her hand and dragged her out of the mess hall, calling over his shoulder to the petrified initiates. “Follow me.” He lead them into the pit and up the stairs, Amy fell down only a few hours ago. Having a sense of foreboding, the initiate started to struggle in his grip, but she was no match to him.They arrived at the top of the ledge and Eric looked over the edge.“It´s pretty high, isn’t it? No one would survive such a fall.” And with that he took her arm with the unbroken fingers and swung her over the drop. Her scream was matched by another one. Undoubtly the one of the blonde candor. “Let´s make this interesting, shall we?” he managed to sound professional. “You hang there for, what can I say… An hour? And I will forget that you may be responsible for the death of my girlfriend and my unborn child.” At this revelation, not just the initiates gasped, but also all of the members that were watching them in horror. Only a few ever saw Eric losing control to this extent.“Please, I didn’t know, I didn’t know!” she wailed, clinging to Eric’s arm.He lowered her, until her hand gripped the edge of the stone, then let go and rose to his full height.“So now you have three options. First: hang here for an hour, let go and die or give up and become factionless. Please be aware that I am pretty considerate right now, since you somehow managed to hurt your hand. What a shame.”“Please, Sir. Can’t you let her off please?” her candor friend at least tried to help her, but Eric´s glare shut her down.“If you don’t plan on sharing her faith, you better shut up, right now.” Whimpering, she retreated.“What will it be?” Eric asked in a voice that reminded of one of a talk master. “Number one, two or three?”“I can’t. I give up!” She screamed. Eric being aware of that, gestured to two of the boys to hail her up.Realizing, he had to get back to the infirmary, he pushed through the people, that were parting like to red sea.“Oh, and Kayla? You better be out here as soon as possible. I´m going to the infirmary and if I find out, that one of them died, I will hunt you down and end you.”...Fifteen minutes later, Eric was once again at the infirmary. Leaning his head against the door, he took a deep breath and pushed the door open.The first thing he saw was Four talking to his brother.What was he doing at dauntless?Four was rubbing his forehead, before his shoulders sagged. He couldn’t say if it was in relief or grief.The young leader walked towards them, looking wearily at his brother, who gave him a sympathic smile. “She just came out of surgery.”“How is she? How are they.” Eric wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear the answers. But before anyone could say anything, Four had thrown his arms around Eric, squeezing him, who just stood there and couldn’t belief, what was happening right know.From all the persons to hug him, he would have pegged Four as the last one on his list.But as he spoke, Eric knew why he did it.Relief.  “They´re okay. They will both be okay.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

I was fading in and out of consciousness for what felt like ages, being faintly aware of the people, that surrounded me. Sometimes I could feel a warm pressure engulfing my hand, or lips pressing onto my face.Other times I was back in Abnegation. My mother running her hand through my hair and being held by Tobias, as we gave food to the factionless.I was back in Tobias´ room, he was eight, I was five and he promised to protect me from anything. Especially from our father.He picked me up from school, to walk with me through the abandoned parts of this city. We would pick flowers or play hide and seek, where no one could find us. Or we would stare at the wall, speculating about what lied behind.On the worse days, we would make plans, how to get past it. Toby said we could go to Amity, to get supplies and then wait until the Dauntless would go to bed.If only it had been so easy...From time to time the dull pain, that was now a part of my existence, would grow and burn me like hot irons. But never for long.There was always someone around to dull the pain and every time I felt something could on the back of my hand, before I would fall back into unconsciousness.Maybe that was what made it impossible for me to open my eyes, despite hearing many voices pleading to me....When I was finally able to open them again, all the lights in the room were dimmed, so I assumed, that it was night.I immediately recognized the room I was lying in, since I had been here before many times, treating patients that got out of surgery and had to stay at the infirmary.Since Dauntless had a high injury-rate, we were the only faction with something akin to a real hospital. All the others had to send their members to the Erudite hospital, at the heart of the city.Scrutinizing my surroundings, it took me embarrassingly long to notice the man on my left side, his head lying on the mattress, hands engulfing my left one, that held an IV.It was someone I wouldn’t have expected to be here.“Tobias?” I asked him, my voice raspy.His head shot up and he tumbled backwards over the chair, falling to the ground.“I must look horrid to get such a reaction out of you.” I laughed, but stopped immediately, to clutch my right side. I didn’t even know where to, because it hurt so much, everywhere.From my knee, to my hip, my ribs and especially my shoulder and wrist, that was, which I only saw now, in a cast.“Ouch” Tobias stared at me with red-rimmed eyes, before storming towards me. He grabbed my head softly and kissed my forehead, before hugging me carefully.“Amelia, thank god you´re awake.” He rasped out. “How are you feeling, A?”Hearing the nickname, he used to call me as a child, I decided to put on my big-girl panties. Or was it pants?“I´m fine. A little sore, but I´ve felt worse. This isn’t my first time at the hospital, you know?” I teased him weakly, hinting at the time I was attacked by `factionless monsters`. A monster he was, but sure as hell not factionless.Understanding my innuendo, Toby looked at me darkly.“Don’t joke about these things. You could have died. Not to mention your child.”I looked at him and started to panic. The stairs, blood, my baby…“What is wrong with it?” I feverishly tried to pull the blankets away from my belly with one hand, but Toby grabbed it and held it down.“Stop, Amy! Nothing’s wrong. Your baby is alright. Everything’s alright.”I stared at him, breathing out in relief.I hung my head low. Remembering what I saw, I decided to change the topic. Because only thinking about losing my child… I couldn’t bare it.“You know, I dreamed of you… Do you remember when you told me you would take be beyond the wall to found our own city?” I smiled at him.Smiling he shook his head. “Of course. I wanted to give you the world…”We lost ourselves in reminiscence of the few good memories, we had of our childhood...Someone knocked softly on the door, before entering.Adrian came towards us and smiled. “It´s so good to finally see you awake, Amy.”“What do you mean, finally?” I fretted.“Well you have been out for two days.”I gaped at him. It couldn’t be possible…“You´re kidding me, right?!” he looked up with sympathy.“I´m afraid not. You hit your head pretty hard. It´s a miracle that you hadn’t had brain bleedings.” At the memory that flashed through my mind, I cringed.“I guess… So, what’s the verdict?”Adrian took out his tablet, where all charts were saved.“Let´s see… You have bruises all over the right side of your body. You dislocated your shoulder, broke your wrist, cracked three of your ribs and had smaller internal bleedings, which we managed to get under control.”I looked down my body, before turning to my brother, who had his fists clenched.“How could that happen? I only remember waving goodbye to Wayne…”“Memory loss is normal with head injuries, don’t worry. I´ll see you again, later. I have to go, set a broken bone right. Someone thought it would be fun to drive a skateboard through the halls. Idiot…I´ll see you.”After Adrian left the room, I turned to my brother. When he still didn’t meet me eye, I scooted painfully to my right. Tobias went to stop me, but I glared at him.When there was enough room, Toby laid beside me, knowing that I needed his comfort.So before I asked him again, what had happened, I laid my head on his chest.“You remember Kayla? The one you threw the knife at?”“How could I forget that?” I huffed.“She admitted to pushing you. She didn’t know you were pregnant.” “She did? How did you get the wrench to admit something like that?”Tobias laughed humorlessly. “Don´t you wonder why Eric isn’t here right now?”I shot up, pushing the pain back.“He didn’t kill her. Tell me he didn’t?!”Pulling me back to him, he hushed me. “No, he didn’t. Doesn’t mean I wish he hadn’t.” Tobias mumbled the last thing into my hair.“She´s a bitch, but she doesn’t deserve to die.”Tobias went rigid under me. “And you tell me that you deserved what she did to you?! You could have died and then the last words I would have said to you… I could have never forgiven myself and you should not forgive me that I even thought of something like that. I didn’t even speak to you, instead I behaved like a toddler, but I was just so mad at you. And at me for not protecting you. And at Eric, because I thought he would use you to get back at me. God, I could have killed him…But I watched the both of you. How he seemed to get less of an asshole when you´re around and you actually looked happy.You never were happy, not even when you finally became dauntless. I see the way he looks at you, like you are everything to him.And if I was even half the man I claimed to be, I would have never treated you like I did… I am so sorry!”At the end of his rant, I felt him shaking and I knew, that my brother who hasn’t cried since the day our mother died, was sobbing against my back.I turned around and snuggled against him, while he pulled me closer, to make sure I wasn’t going anywhere.“There never was anything to forgive you.”...It didn’t took long for Tobias to fall asleep and I lay there, feeling content, despite my pain.I was only missing one person.Have you ever heard of the phrase “Speak of the devil and he shall appear?”As I raised my gaze, Eric was leaning against the door and looked at the two of us, before pushing away from it and coming to a halt beside me.Without saying a word, he bend down and kissed my lips.“If you ever do something like this again, I will punish you.”I smiled at him.“I missed you, too.”Another kiss.“I mean it. And you are banned from leaving the apartment, ever again.”Pushing the hair out of my face, he raised his eyebrows at me.“That´s such a nice way for you to declare your love for me.”Eric just chuckled and shook his head, before kissing me again.“Oh, how I missed your smart mouth.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The next few days, that I had to spend in my hospital room, things were starting to go back to normal. And with normal I mean the time before everything went down the drain with my friends.So I found myself a few days after I woke up with the lot of them, all squished into the tiny room. And since Uriah and Zeke took the phrase “Three is a party” literally, we had a … party.As soon as Christina stepped into the room, she started bawling and excused profusely to me, while Will just rolled his eyes at her antics.Uriah and Zeke both almost choked me with their bear hugs. Thank god, for painkillers. Tris, being reserved as she is, only squeezed my hands, but I knew that she was relieved, because I was well and had finally made up with Tobias, who was standing beside her, arms around her waist.We spend at least an hour like that, joking around, while they told my all the things, I had missed.That was, until Eric arrived. All of them went silent and Eric was about to excuse himself again, when surprisingly my brother went on and said, that because they would see a lot more of Eric in the future, they could just suck it up and get used to it now.So Eric joined us, sitting behind me on the bed, while being a substitute-pillow and listening to the slowly livelier getting conversation, only occasionally chiming in.In this moment, I remembered the things my brother said to me, about being happy… I had always knew something was missing.But as I was sitting here, all battered and bruised, with the people that meant the world to me, I got my first glimpse of what genuine happiness felt like....I spent two weeks at the infirmary, before I was discharged.  With 20 weeks, I was now halfway through my pregnancy and you couldn’t overlook that.I had ultrasounds, since being here, because Adrian wanted to make sure, our baby would be alright. As I found out, he was to one to stop the bleedings I suffered, effectively saving our both lives in the process. And I knew I could never thank him enough for that, so I simply had to say yes to a family dinner with him and the whole rest of Eric´s family in Erudite It would be in about two weeks, on the evening of the annual leaders dinner, that followed visiting day.Eric almost went ballistic, when I told him, but I played the pity card and he had to give in.  My baby was now almost half the size it would be at his birth and romped around in my belly, efficiently keeping me from falling asleep at night. Since the only voice that could soothe my child was the one of his father, Eric was basically camping in the room, claiming that I needed my rest, so he had to “tame his little warrior”.Since I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to know the gender yet, something Eric disagreed about with me, Adrian wrote it onto a piece of paper, which he put into an envelope.And despite Eric promising me annoyed, that he won’t look, I knew it wouldn’t stay sealed for long....A few days after that I was discharged. Since walking with cracked ribs and a bruised hip wasn’t easy, Eric had hired a help, that would take care of me, since I couldn’t really do anything, except reading through the manuals I had got for my ambassadorship training.Our flat was packed once again with cartons, but when I asked Eric for what they were, he just told me he had bought things for a home office and that I shouldn’t fret about it. How can he easily say such things? Of course I will fret about something like that. His office is only 10 minutes away, why would he need another one in our home?But because Eric was Eric, I didn’t waste my time arguing with him. Being an erudite-born he had an unfair home-field advantage. Especially since Abnegation never argued.It really wasn’t fair. Another sore topic of Eric´s was seeing me with other men. I´m sure if he could, he would have locked me away in a gilded cage long ago.So imagine my surprise, when I came out of the bedroom, the day after I got home and found Uriah standing in my kitchen, cooking breakfast, apron and all.“What the hell, Uri?”He turned around from his place on the stove and shoot me his most charming grin. Not that it worked on me.“I see mylady has awoken. How would you like your eggs this fine morning, your highness? Scrambled or sunny-side up?”I gaped at him, pondering if he was kidding me or if he really had gone nuts.Laughing at my facial expression, he brought his hands down on my shoulder. And not in a gentle way. When I flinched from the pain he raised his hands in a submissive gesture and frowned.“Sorry ´bout that. I kind of tend to forget you´re hurt…” “At least one of you.” I snorted.  “So tell me, Uri, what the hell are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be out on patrol?”At that he started to grin proudly, making me think that I must have missed something.“You see, my dear Amy…” he started.“And it begins” I muttered, wiggling my way onto a barstool.“… your bestest friend here, was recommended to participate in the leader-in-training program.” Uriah beamed at me. I threw my hands around his neck, to hug him and I may or may have not in the process, hit his head on purpose with my cast.Revenge can be a sweet thing.“That’s so great, Uri!” I exclaimed, while he rubbed the now sore spot. “But it still doesn’t explain why you are here.”“Ah, that’s the catch.” He winked at me.  “Eric came looking for someone to babysit you…”“I do NOT need a babysitter!” I interrupted him, but he went on as if I never said anything.“… and I heard him. And then I thought, I would simply be perfect for that. Since I stopped going on patrol and the training starts after Initiation is finished. Not to mention that I´m your best friend and I luv you.” Uri spread his arms wide, spinning through the room.“But, Uri… you can’t even cook…?”He stopped turning and looked at my murderously wounded.“I can´t cook…? I can’t cook?! How dare you say something like that? You see that pan over there? That will be the best tasting eggs you will ever get the honor of eating.” He lectured me, not noticing his precious eggs started to smoke.“Uri… your eggs are burning.” I informed him dryly.“What?!” he shrieked, running towards the stove and shoved the pan into the sink, letting water dim the fire.“Damn.” He muttered, before smiling sheepishly.“You know you just totally proved me right?” I laughed.“Oh, shut up, you!” Uri called, before throwing a dishtowel at me, only causing me to laugh harder....I think it was unnecessary to say that the next weeks were a lot of fun. Uriah, being the comedian he is, did everything he could, to cheer me up. Not that I needed it, because for the first time in my life, I had everything I could wish for.Since he really couldn’t cook, he always went to fetch something from the mess hall.Eric didn’t exactly liked us being so close, but he begrudgingly allowed it. Not that his words would change anything.Belle was out on the fence for most of the time, so I only saw her once or twice, which bothered me a lot....My first trip out of the flat was to go shopping. Since I had earned Christina´s forgiveness with my near-death experience, which really wasn’t one, she granted me her time and expertise.Uri had strict orders to not let me leave the apartment, so my hand, that was holding a sleeping pill, might have slipped above his coffee.When he was softly snoring, I made my way towards the pit, for the first time since the accident, three weeks ago. Seeing me walk through the compound, many Dauntless openly gaped at me. No doubt had they heard about the incident and me being pregnant with the baby of my brother´s biggest nemesis.The name gossip didn’t even live up to what was happening around the compound.Seeing me waddling through the halls, my bump already pretty big, only added fuel to the it. Not that they were only rumors anymore, more like facts, since Eric had declared his impending fatherhood, when he was dangling the bitch from the edge of the wall.I still didn’t like what he did. Being from abnegation, I was raised to forgive people. Not that I would ever forgive her for endangering my child, but I had long ago learned to let my anger go, otherwise it would consume you.A problem my brother has had to face, but he managed it with a lot of help from Tris....The clothing shops were on the higher levels of the pit, so I had to face the stairs, that almost caused me to lose the most precious thing I ever knew.I was standing before them, not really knowing if I could risk it again.Someone placed his hand on the lower of my back, ending my internal debate.I turned around and came face to face with my brother, who smiled at me.“So he let you out, huh? Wouldn’t have thought he would.”“You knew? And you didn’t even think to come to my rescue?” I asked, pretending to be outraged. “Do you know what I had to go through? Being enclosed with Uriah 24/7 on limited space is going to drive me nuts and before you know it, I will dance through the pit, naked, as the day I was born.” I saw how Toby didn’t know if he should laugh or glare at me, so I began laughing at him.“Don’t let Eric hear you say something like that.” He just rolled his eyes, before hinting at the stairs. “You wanna go up there?”I looked at him. “I do, but I don’t know if I can. Not after…”Knowing exactly what I meant, he wrapped an arm around my waist and guided me towards the stairs.“Come on.” He smiled at me, soothing my nerves. ”I´ve got you and you know I would never let you fall.”...Christina was waiting for me at the shops, ready to go all out. She somehow got Eric´s card and I don’t know, if I want to know, how she managed to do that.Since I was still hurting, she spared me from changing into things, only taking my measures and picking out shirts, pants and stuff like that. Additionally, to the maternity clothes she bought for me, she also picked a few baby clothes in blue and pink, proclaiming that my child should come home in a ´fashionable´ way.All of that took the better of one and a half hours, so we were done by the time, lunch was served. Making our way towards the mess hall, we met Wayne, who hurried over, asking me if Eric knew that I was here, while carefully guiding me down the stairs.I hadn’t seen him often since my accident, because he took over Eric´s leader duties, so he could spend his time with me.At the mess hall I sat down with all my friends, that had lunch break, knowing it would only be a matter of minutes, before Eric would barge in here, searching for me.And I was right. Proximally 7 minutes and 43 seconds later, he stormed into the mess hall looking positively livid, Uriah in tow.He spotted us and marched over, slamming his hands on the table in front of me and glared, while I smiled innocently up at him.“If you weren’t pregnant and hurt right now, don’t think for even one second, that I wouldn’t take you over my knee right here to spank the living daylights out of you for the shit you pulled, princess.” Eric hissed at me, making me huff. So I replied, rolling my eyes.“Don’t be so dramatic.”“Dramatic?! You spiked his goddamn drink to get out of the apartment. Don’t look at me like that I saw the wrapper.” Damn, he´s good.As I looked over at Uri, to measure the damage I´d done to our friendship, he only gave me the evil eye. Ups.“So you can kiss your evenly chocolate cake goodbye.” Eric glared at me, but this time I wasn’t amused by that. I gaped at him wide-eyed.“But you can´t…?” “Oh believe me, love. I can and I will.”I stared at him for another few seconds, before bursting into tears.The only thing that was heard, was a lowly muttered “Shit”.“You can´t… you can’t take that away from me.” I wailed, while Eric scooped me onto his lap, softly rocking me.“I´m sorry, I won’t. You can have your cake anytime you want, love.”, he apologized, softly caressing my face,“You promise?” I asked him, while brushing the tears away and sniffling.“I promise.” He declared with a kiss to the top of my head.At that I looked at him hopefully. “Can I have two pieces tonight?”Eric sighed, before he answered.“Anything for you, love.”          With that I beamed at him, before kissing him passionately, almost pushing him off the bank.From the other side of the table you could hear Lynn curse.“Damn pregnant women and their hormones”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Today was visiting day and it promised to be a busy one. The parents of the transfers could now come to visit their children between 10 am and 4 pm. But they weren’t the only ones, who were allowed to be here. As the factions had kind of like an open door day, family members of people, who had transferred before, could come too, just like the 17-year olds that wanted to have a look at the compound, before choosing next year.Since the later was frowned upon, not many would use this chance. To round the day up and display the solidarity of each faction to the whole faction system, the annual leaders ball would take place.It was less dancing and more eating and politics, but it was tedious either way and since Eric´s father was one of the leaders, I would meet his whole family there.Starting at 7 o’clock, it was going to last till late at night.I wasn’t really looking forward to squeeze myself into the tight fitting dress, Christina has chosen for me, claiming to do Eric a favor. Just great.The only outlook was the thought of food. Good food....Eric left our flat at 8 am, claiming to set everything up for the visitors. I had no doubt in mind that he would drill the initiates to not show feelings.As if.Faction loyalty was important, of course, but to held that higher than your own family?The people I considered family would always come first to me, no matter what.In the moment I only counted three and a half of them. My brother, Tris, my baby and Eric. It was strange that he was a part of that, when we hadn´t even defined our relationship, but he always took care of me, he protected me and he loved me, as I did him.He was family to me So I seeked him out, as he strutted through the compound, looking as intimidating as ever with his, once again, neatly ironed leader uniform.Lacing my arm through his, he glanced at me, with no doubt knowing, that I would ask him something strange, as I did, all the time for the last few weeks.Really, we´ve had a three-hour discussion about why he couldn’t stand peanut butter, which only ended, as he threw me onto the bed face down, to shut my mouth and distracted me in a skillfull way. “Make it quick.” He came to a halt, facing me.“Okay, I have two life altering questions for you.” I began.“If you want to talk about again pots and how evil they are, can we do that tonight? I really have things to do.” He rolled his eyes at me and went to leave, but I stopped him by throwing my hand around his waist and pulling me to him. Sighing, he mirrored my movements.“This is serious. Even more than evil pots that could take over the city. I mean they could burn everyone with hot water and side with the factionless in exchange for food…” I began rambling, but Eric shushed me and looked into my eyes.“Amy, focus.” I nodded at that. Where was I…?“Okay, focus.. Two questions.First would you value your faction or your family more?And second, what are we exactly? I mean am I the woman that carries your child and warms your bed or do you want to marry me or something like that?”Looking at him expectantly, he pinched the bridge of his nose.“Let´s see. You are my girl.”“Yeah, but what does that mean?” I interrupted him, earning myself a death glare and a squeeze of my buttocks.As I tried to get out of his grasp, I pushed myself further against him, what was exactly, what he wanted. Then he whispered into my ear.“It means that you are mine and that no other man will ever touch you. We won’t need to marry to make that one clear. And for your other question,” he straitened himself up, ”I am a leader for a reason, Amy. That is the one rule I will always have to obey.”“So you wouldn’t visit our child if it would deflect?” I stared at him dubiously.“Our child would never do such a thing.” Eric glared at me and I instantly knew, that it was a sore topic. Just the thought of it must have hurt his ego pretty badly.“But it could always be possi…”“No, it won’t. End of discussion. I will see you later. Goodbye Amy.”And with that he was gone.But I knew, as I watched his retreating back, that he could never disown his children, no matter what they would do....As I walked into the pit, it was like a sea full of colours. Our usual black was mixed with a lot of white and blue, only a few occasional flickers of grey and yellow or red. I pushed through the people, my hands protectively slung around my noticeable bump. As I attracted a few stares, like always, I guessed gossip really knew no boundaries, not even the ones of factions....Craving a heavenly piece of chocolate cake, I made my way to the mess hall to get some, greeting a few people, I arrived in front of it.Knowing what I would have to endure tonight, I treated myself to a massive piece of chocolaty heaven.The cake and peanut butter, were one of my few cravings and I almost got as territorial over it as my brother and that says a lot.Uri thought it would be funny to steal my cake, but he stopped laughing, when he had to go to the infirmary, to get the fork out of his hand.What can I say? Hormones…I raised to my tippy toes, which isn’t easy when your pregnant, let me tell you. I was pretty unbalanced at normal times, but know I had to make sure, I wouldn’t fall over like a chopped down tree. At one of the tables in the back, there was Tris sitting with her mother, Natalie Prior. Since I adored her and haven’t seen her for ages, I decided to join them.As I came to a halt in front of them, I sat my plate down, making them notice me.“Oh my dear, Amy! I haven’t seen you for so long!” Natalie exclaimed and pulled me into an, for an Abnegation, atypical hug.“Natalie, it´s so nice to see you again!” I beamed at her, while she pulled back, to look at me.“And your little bump, so adorable. You look amazing, but Tris already told me everything. Your leader is a pretty special boy.”I blushed at that. Natalie had always been something like a substitute mother for me. Especially in the year before I choose. Since both of her children had deflected, she took care of me, like I was her own, much to my father’s dismay, since he thought I was being selfish.So her compliments meant the world to me.“Beatrice actually just wanted to tell me something about a pregnancy. Who´s pregnant my dear?” Natalie asked, still holding my hand. “I am, mother. Four and I are having a baby.” If I would have had something in my mouth, I would have spit it out.
My brother was going to have a baby?

“Oh my, I´m going to be a grandma.” Natalie exclaimed, before almost crushing Tris in her embrace. “How far along are you.” Brushing Tris´ hair out of her face, her eyes only hold love and excitement.“I´m roughly eleven weeks. We just had our first ultrasound. Do you want to see?” As Tris pulled out a sonogram picture, so much like the one that got me months of silence from my brother, I had to ask myself, if he still held hate for me.Why, if not, would he not tell me…?“Amy?”, Natalie´s voice brought me back to reality. “Don’t you think that it´s great? Just think of all the possibilities. Your children will grow up like siblings!Dear, are you alright? You are so pale.”“I´m fine.” I pulled myself together and hugged Tris. “I am so happy for you. Congratulations.” I managed to get through my closing throat, before I walked away....Hurrying through the compound, I brushed my tears away, but there were always new ones there, to replace them, as I asked myself why. Why didn’t he tell me he was having a baby? Was he still angry at me?And why was there no one to love me as unconditionally as Natalie, when I declared my pregnancy. All they did was turn away from me, when I told them who the father was.Why had my life to be such a clusterfuck of emotions and unfortunate events?Why, just why?I stumbled into a person, that grabbed my arm to prevent me from falling.“Amy, are you alright?”Blue eyes stared concerned into my grey ones.But I couldn’t. Not now, not here, where all the people could see us. I didn’t want another scene to keep the rumor-mill going.So I teared myself away from him and hurried into the corridors, his voice calling my name over and over again. By now I was full on sobbing.I should have known better, then to assume I could outrun my brother. Not in the condition I was in.So he pulled me back, right into his chest, in an abandoned corridor, before he rocked me softly back and forth. Then he asked again.“Amy, what happened?”I looked at him through blurry eyes.“Do you still hate me?”Tobias stared at me, before he brushed my hair away.“Why would I ever hate you, Amy?”“Because you are still mad that I am having Eric´s baby!” Wailing, I tried once again to get him to let me go.“I´m not mad and I never hated you. I spend a bit of time with him and he isn’t so bad, when he tries to be… accommodating.”“But…”“No but´s, Amy. Why would you even think of something like that?” “Because you didn’t tell me you were having a baby!” I cried, pushing him away. “Oh, Amy…” Tobias looked at me, before softly shaking his head.He once again pulled me into him, but this time I crumpled, my head coming to lie on his pectorals.“Now you listen to me, Amy. Okay?” He bended his head to look into my eyes.“I was an asshole and I was mad, but I never even once hated you, only myself for not taking good enough care of you” As I went to protest, he just shushed me. ”I didn’t tell you about the pregnancy, because we only found out last week and I haven’t told anyone.Since you know, I assume Tris told her mother and you heard.” I nodded into his chest.“Good. Now I want you to know that you would have been to first one, I would have told.Mainly, because you’re my sister, but also, because you are good at stuff like that and I am really freaking out here.” That one was making me laugh, because I knew how right he was.“I never pictured myself having children, so you seriously have to help me out here, okay?And I beg you, never, ever, think again that I could hate you. You´re to first person after mom that ever loved me, you are my blood and my sister and I promise that I will never leave you alone again.”His declaration made me cry again. “I just wanted someone to hug me when I told you…”“Shhh, I know.”“But you were all so mad at me.”“I know, Amy. But something like that will never happen again.”“You promise?” I hiccupped.“Cross my heart.” Tobias said and I knew, he meant it, as I replied. “And hope to die.”...As I arrived at home, completely drained from my tear fest, Christina was greeting me, armed with a thing, that looked deadlier than a few of the weapons in the tech-lab.
Eyeliner.
“I decline, I really don’t want to be blinded today, but thanks.” I told her off-handedly, while throwing myself onto the couch and pulled off my boots, to massage my aching feet.“What on earth have you done to your eyes to look like that?” Christina rounded the sofa, before examining my face like something akin to an insect.“Pollen allergy.”  I replied dryly.“But we are underground?”“There’s moss. It’s a cavern.” I informed her, but she just frowned at me, before pulling me up and sitting me down on a chair.“Whatever the hell it is, we only have three hours to fix is. Where is the foundation?”What can you say… 
Let the torture begin.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

I was staring at the person in front of me. Her hair was professionally slung into a beautiful French braid, while the black chiffon dress with the dark red embeddings hugged her protruding belly perfectly. A few branches from the cherry tree on her back gave her an almost fairy-like air. Her makeup was on point, but naturally, her blood red lips the only accent in the ensemble. She looked absolutely stunning.And I couldn’t believe, that was me, as I stared into the mirror. Christina had done an incredible job, transforming me from a red, puffy eyed monster, to someone, who looked like she deserved to accompany a leader.And to be able do so, she had banned Eric from his flat, leaving him no other choice, then to dress at Wayne´s, who would as a high-ranking member, accompany us. At 6.25 on the dot, there was a knock on the front door. Christina hurried over to me and handed me a little clutch with necessities. Or what she felt was necessary. I don’t want to brag, but even I know that condoms don’t work at this point anymore.And for the flick knife, let´s just say I hope, I won’t need that. She placed me in the middle of the room, to without a doubt, display me as if I was a mannequin. With dramatic gestures she threw the door open, before shouting.“Bow down to my masterpiece, peasants.”But the only one paying her attention was Wayne, because standing beside him, was Eric in a suit.A suit.If I thought he would look edible in his leader uniform, I don’t even have a word to describe him now, clean shaven and dressed to impress. How his jacket hugged his muscles, without making him look too bulky, or how the slacks made him look like he came right out of one of those old TV-series. The dark red tie over his black shirt, perfectly matched the embeddings on my dress.We were a match made in heaven. While I ravished him with my eyes, I could see him do the same. His eyes were dark with lust and he was through the room and in front of me, with three steps.Eric buried his head in my neck and inhaled deeply, before lightly kissing up to my jaw, making me moan.“You have no idea, how beautiful you are, my love.” He whispered into my ear.“And I can’t even describe how handsome you are, Eric.” I breathed in response, before I tilted my head to kiss him. However, shortly before my lips could met his, a harsh swat to the back of my head, pulled me out of the seduction, I planned to take further.“Yeah, yeah. You both are beautiful. There will be no kissing, you will ruin her lipstick!” Christina chastised us, before shooing us out of the flat, as if it was her own.“You must hurry, children. Your car is waiting for you.”Since she was right, I grudgingly linked my arm with Eric’s, before we went to the garages.“Have fun. But not too much, if you know what I mean!” Christina called, before we rounded the corner, her voice echoing through the empty halls....The leaders ball was traditionally held in a huge assembly room at the hub, underneath the one, where the choosing took place.We, as in Eric, the other leaders, a few higher ranking members and I, arrived at 7.30 o´clock, not really bothering with being on time. We had all taken cars, since I was pregnant and forbidden from riding trains (thanks to Eric), while the other woman couldn’t jump in their tight dresses and high heels, either.All of us made our way to the door, where a few Abnegation were waiting. They had without a doubt offered their help. I knew, because I always used to. Even if it was forced. Eric grabbed my hand, locking our fingers together, before he pressed a kiss to the back of my hand and led me inside.The ball would be held in two separate rooms. The first one, where we would eat and the second, where we would intermingle and had the opportunity to dance. Not that many did. Erudite thought it to portray a person of lesser intelligence, while the abnegation would find it selfish, to participate in such an activity.We were led to the first room, where dinner would be held. As late as we were, we were the last ones to arrive.I scanned the room, meeting Adrian’s gaze. As he recognized me, he grinningly wiggled his eyebrows and raised his glass at me.I smiled widely, but it soon vanished, as I saw grey eyes staring at me, for the rest of the people here undecipherable. But I could see the always present glint there. The one that promised pain.As I tightened my hold on Eric´s arm, he followed my gaze. Spotting my father, he took my arm off of his, instead slinging it around my waist.“He won’t come even near you, Amy. I promise.” He then pressed a kiss to my hair and lead me to the end of the table, near the Erudite. From what I had learned in my studies for the ambassadorship, the seating plan was a carefully constructed thing. Erudite didn’t really like the Abnegation, so they couldn’t sit next to each other. The same with Dauntless and Candor towards Amity. They were too peaceful to tolerate endless debates or rambunctious behavior.So that’s how it was: First Erudite, then Dauntless, followed by Candor. Besides them were the Abnegation and then Amity, who were also sitting next to Erudite.They established this seating order after one painful evening, how I had learned. Erudite was fighting with Abnegation, Amity tried to chastise the drunk Dauntless and Candor where discussing who was the most stupid, out of all of them.I just hoped tonight wouldn’t turn into a disaster When we arrived at our seats, Adrian came and pulled me into a hug.“It´s so nice to see you up and running around again, Amy.” He said to me, before going over to Eric and pulling him into a man-hug. “Little brother.”“Adrian.” Eric pulled himself out of the embrace, before wrinkling his nose. “I see you´ve used the opportunity and helped yourself to free drinks.”“Indeed I have. And I advise you to do the same. Mother is her usual self and this…” he waved around, before pointing at my belly. “This will be painful.” He added conspiratorially.Eric pinched the bridge on his nose, before he approached the head leader of Erudite, Jeanine Matthews. She had analyzed our behavior from the moment we stepped into the room and her eyes revealed the real curiosity, they held.“It´s nice to see you again, Eric.” She acknowledged him, before tilting her head at me. “And who do we have here?”“I´m Amy.” I smiled at her anxiously, while shaking her hand.“You seem familiar, Amy. Any Family in the higher rankings of the city?” She asked, nailing it.“She had some, but not anymore.” Eric answered in my stat.“So I guess you transferred to Dauntless. May I ask from where? You haven’t been Erudite and you seem too shy to be Candor, so it either was Amity or Abnegation, which is pretty unusual in itself.”I nodded, a little freaked out by her perception. “Yes, ma´am. I´m from Abnegation. But I haven’t been the only one, lately. My brother defected, too.” I rambled on, before Eric squeezed my hand, telling me silently to shut up.“Interesting. There was only one male transfer from Abnegation to Dauntless, Tobias Eaton. He is your brother? So you must be Amelia Eaton, of course. The daughter of the head council leader.”My eyes went wide at that. How the hell did she know all that stuff?!“Former Eaton.” Eric says harshly. “And soon to-be Coulter.”Excuse me, but whaaaat?What was going on here?!I was now starring at Eric. It seemed as if I wouldn’t be able to break out of my shell-shocked state tonight.“How interesting. So that must be your child, she´s carrying?” As Eric nodded curtly, she went on.“From the size of her belly she should be around twenty to twenty-two weeks, so she should give birth roughly two months after the end of initiation. That´s good, your child will have more time to prepare for it, went it is time for it to choose.” After that strange exclamation, Jeanine decided to grace someone else with her presence, effectively leaving me flabbergasted.Don’t get me wrong, I was relieved that she was gone, but only, until I remembered the real challenge.Eric´s parents.Wayne caught my look of desperation and only laughed at my misery. Bastard. “Hello, mother. Father.” Eric addressed two strict looking people.His father had greying hair, and was tall. Despite the lack of physical activity, most Erudite suffered, he had a similar build to Eric´s bulky one.His mother was a petite looking woman, her grey hair was slung into a complicated looking knot at the back of her head. She looked cold and sophisticated in her deep blue ensemble and the way she scrutinized me.I smiled at them, but his mother only raised his eyebrow, while his father ignored me completely.“Son.” He shook his hand, both not really comfortable. Beside his father, Adrian snickered into his scotch glass.We then sat down and while all the people around me exchanged meaningless phrases, the first course was served.I was sitting there, only picking at my salad, when Eric nudged my knee under the table.“You alright?” he asked lowly.I smiled at him. “Yeah, it´s just kind of overwhelming.”“You will get used to it, with the time.” He reassured me, before kissing the back of my hand lovingly. “So she is the mother of your child?” Eric´s father asked, before taking a bite of his steak.“She has a name.” Eric replied. “It´s Amy.” “Good to know.” He replied. “How did you two meet?”“He was overseeing initiation, so we knew each other from the start and then we kind of… just happened.” I started speaking, before knowing what exactly I wanted to tell them, so I trailed off.I mean I could not tell him that I was drunk and had a one-night stand with his son, resulting in his unborn grandchild. That wouldn’t give them the best impression of me.Wayne choked on his wine, while Max snickered into the china, knowing exactly why I had paused, earning themselves a few dubious looks from the Erudite congregation.“Yeah, she woke up one morning and just couldn’t deny, how my charm had stripped her down.” Eric told his father.I only registered what exactly he had said, as Wayne roared with laughter. My jaw was slacked and I stomped on his foot. Hard.“What he is trying to say, is that he was obsessed with me from the beginning, but hadn’t had the guts to ask me out.” I smiled sweetly at his father.By now, all of the Dauntless were staring at me, as if I´d lost my mind, while Max just chuckled and Wayne “Burn.” whispered.They had never seen anyone talk to the youngest leader in such fashion, without being factionless in less than 2.5 seconds. I think his murderous glare only fueled their concern for me.So I laid my hand on his face in a loving gesture, before he could say anything.“You remember what I told you about spanking. Well I think I changed my mind.” He hissed at me, making me blush.“Well, then I hope you have enough lotion.” When he looked confused, I added. “Since I won’t carter to your needs anymore.” I whispered into his ear, making him laugh loudly.“As if. I could take you right here and you wouldn’t do a thing about it, love. So stop poking the bear.”I decided that this was going too far, so I just pouted and resumed eating my fancy dish. “So I guess you two are not married?” Eric’s mother decided to speak up after a few minutes.“No we are not.” Eric replied, squinting his eyes and as she spoke again, I knew why.“Then you have surely had a paternity test done?”My fork clattered loudly on the plate, while I stared at her, not really believing what she had just said.“Excuse me?!” I managed to get out, while Eric grabbed my knee under the table, to get me to calm down.“Since Dauntless isn’t known for its chastity recording intercourse, it wouldn’t be a surprise if it wasn’t his child.”“Maybe Dauntless isn’t, but that doesn’t mean I am.” I frowned, while Eric sighed.“Believe me mother, it is mine.” Maggs, who was listening to us, decided to voice her opinion. “Since we decided to bring up the prejudices right now, tell me nose: When do you exactly plan to pull out the stick of your ass?”I chocked on my water, wishing it was wine. Eric´s mother just huffed. “Real eloquent. Spoken like a true dauntless.”“What can I say. We do not believe in good manners.” Maggs quoted the manifesto.  Eric´s father picked up our conversation, as if no one ever said anything insulting.“Amy, you told us, Eric was overseeing your initiation. So I take it, you were a transfer?”“Yes.” I nodded. “I transferred from Abnegation.” As I said that to him, I looked over to Marcus and saw him glaring at me.I had, for the first time, piqued the interest of Eric´s father. “How unusual. Tell me did it take you long for you to adjust?”“Don’t mind him, before he became leader, he was a psychologist with a focus on behavioral studies.” Adrian called, nursing his fourth glass of scotch. Not that I counted.“Well, it certainly wasn’t easy at first. But my brother and his girlfriend are both from Abnegation, too, so I had someone to guide me.”I had to smirk, as I saw my father clutching his knife, his knuckles turning white.“How fascinating. Would you call the three of you an association within your faction?”“Ehhm, I would call them family?” I asked, more than stated.The word family seemed to dim his interest, so he just replied“Is that so?”, before turning back to the dessert, that was now brought in.For the rest of dinner, I conversed with Eric, Aiden and the rest of the dauntless, trying my best to ignore all the strange people around me....Shortly after the servers had cleared the table, Jeanine, who was hosting the event, ushered us all into the next room. There were other servants with trays full of drinks walking around.The scene reminded me of one of those historical TV-dramas, that were hosted before a certain World War. Why they called it that, I had no idea, because those certainly didn’t do as much damage to the world as the great war, but whatever. I excused myself to go to the bathroom, since the little warrior, how Eric called our child, decided it was fun to do exercises on my bladder.After I had finished and touched up my makeup, like Christina had shown me, I made my way to the ballroom.But I was pulled back on my elbow and slammed into the wall.“Look who we have here.” An all too familiar voice sneered at me. “Who would have thought that the daughter I raised, was going to get herself knocked up by some wanna-be leader?”His breath was laced with alcohol, something that I had always detested about him.“Well, then it should be liberating for you to know that you didn’t raise me. Not really.” He gripped my upper arms in a vice like grip.“You ungrateful little bitch. It was for your own good!” he snarled at me, slamming me into the wall once more.“I am only speaking the truth! Tobias was the one who raised me, since you were the one to always put your selfish needs over the ones of your children!” I hissed right back at him.“How dare you?!” When he raised his hand, I prepared myself for the blow, but it never came.Something, or rather someone pulled him of me. When I opened my eyes, I saw Eric, slamming the man, I refused to call father, into the wall, his hands around the other man´s throat.“Now listen to me, you old bastard. Because this is your last chance. If you ever even come near her or my son again, I will not hesitate to end your pathetic, little life.” As Eric squeezed his throat, Marcus´ face was turning a shade of purple, before he released him. Marcus fell to the ground, gasping for air, as Eric came towards me.“Are you hurt?”“No, I´m fine.” I reassured him. He then grabbed my hand and pulled me back to the room, but not before turning to my father again, who had stood up again and planting his fist into the old leader´s guts.“It´s for your own good.” Eric mocked him, before he came towards me and we made our way back into the ballroom....Inside, he pulled me aside and took a look at the faint bruises, that were now covering my arms. “I should have killed him.” He seethed, before caressing my face.“I´m so sorry I broke my promise. I should have never left you alone.” Eric leaned his forehead against mine and I placed my hands on either side of his face, kissing him lightly.“You came to help me and that is all that matters.” I bit my lip, before I looked up at him. “I really love you, you know?”“You better.” He laughed, pulling my waist to him and deepening our kiss. Wayne cleared his throat beside us, making Eric growl. “Go away, I´m busy.”Sighing exasperate, Wayne interrupted us again.“But there is someone who would like to greet Amy and she looks too scared to interrupt your dry humping.”At his words, I basically pushed Eric away, blushing a deep shade of red.“And there is our little Abnegation.” Wayne teased me. He then pointed at a woman in a modest, but still beautiful looking grey dress.“Natalie!” I exclaimed, before I flew at her, engulfing her into a bear-hug. “I haven’t seen you before!”“Well I certainly noticed you, as every male in this room did. You look absolutely stunning!” She complimented me, while lightly touching my braid.“Christina held me hostage.” I laughed.“Certainly seems like something she would do.” Natalie joined me, as Eric came up behind me and pulled my back into his chest.“Eric, I would like you to meet Natalie Prior. She is Tris´ mother.”“I figured as much.” He replied dryly, before shaking her hand. “Pleasure to meet you.”“Oh, the pleasure´s all mine.” She beamed at him, as her husband and another young man appeared on her side.“I would love you to meet my husband, Andrew, and my son Caleb.”“I already had the pleasure of meeting them both.” Eric replied calmly, but I shrieked. “Caleb? Is that you?!”Caleb just laughed at that, before pulling me into a hug.I heard Eric growling behind me, so I turned around and raised my eyebrows at him. “Chill, his sister is having a child with my brother. What you think of would almost be incest.” I laughed at Eric, who still scowled.“Basically, it´s not…” Caleb started to explain, but I clasped my hands over his mouth, to stop him from speaking further.As he had freed himself from my assault, he looked at his mother. “So Tris is pregnant?”“Yes, she is.” His mother gloated.I turned around again, to see Eric frowning at me. “How long have you known?”Natalie placed her hand on her son’s arm. “She only told us today, right Amy?” At the memory, I lowered my gaze.“I´m really sorry about my reaction, earlier. I think my hormones were raking havoc.” Ashamed, I didn’t meet her eye, but Natalie placed her hand on my cheek. “Dear, I understand and Tris does to. There is no need to apologize.” She spoke softly.“What happened?” Eric´s questioning gaze only managed to make me feel worse.“Tris told us and I kind of… freaked out. I thought Tobias was still mad at me and that’s why he haven’t told me.” I murmured, but Eric heard and pulled me to him.“And now?”“I talked to him and he reassured me that he wasn’t mad and was just waiting for the right time.” At my explanation Eric rolled his eyes.“Figures that you would think only the worst again.” “Don’t pretend that you´re such a sun shine person, either.” I called him out on his bullshit. That’s how the rest of the night went. I was introduced as the new ambassador, spoke about my pregnancy and about dauntless, while Eric stayed by my side the whole time, always waiting and watching.Always watching out for me....We came home at around 2 am and I was beat. The only thing I wanted to do was fall into the massive bed and maybe a foot massage from Eric.But before I could make a beeline to the bedroom, Eric grabbed my waist and guided me towards one of the four unused rooms inside the massive apartment. It was the one he had, a few weeks ago, turned into a home office and ever since then, the door was locked. Believe me, I tried more than once to open it. “I´ve got a surprise for you.” He breathed into my ear, before taking the key out of his slacks and unlocking the door.When he gestured for me to open it, I hesitated. Knowing Eric, there was a slight possibility, that he had a torture chamber installed in our home.“Go on.” He urged me, so I opened the door to the dark room and searched for the light switch. As soon as I found it and switched it on, I let out a gasp of surprise. The room was painted in a midnight blue, almost black colour. The Dauntless emblem was embedded at the wall opposite of us, but that wasn’t what had me gasping.It was the crib standing in one side of the room, a mobile over it with cars and little trucks hanging from it.It was the changing table on the other side, decorated too with little cars.It were the toys littering the floor, from teddy bears to miniature throwing knives, made out of wood. It were all those little details, that showed me how much he really cared about his child and it was this more than sweet revealing, of the gender of our baby, that had me in tears, almost hysterically crying into Eric’s shirt, while I had grabbed his tie in one of my hands and his jacket in the other.He wrapped his arms around me, rocking me softly forth and back, while whispering sweet nothings into my ear.But I could only hear one thing, he repeated over and over again. “We´re having a boy.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The first stage of initiation was slowly coming to an end and it was time for the war games. Eric was all hyped up and ready to finally beat my brother’s ass. The only time he was able to do so, before, was my year of initiation.Eric picked me first, not because of my physical abilities, even if I was pretty good at shooting, but to spite my brother. Or so I thought.He had told me a few days ago, that he picked me to check out my real capabilities and he had to pick me first, since my brother would have done the same.His master plan was to play at Tobias´ sympathy and protectiveness and he was proved right. Eric played me against my brother, as the puppet-master he is. All of that lead to me, standing in front of Toby, who couldn’t shoot me, so Eric shoot him in the back and one of our team mates was able to retrieve the flag. Sneaky bastard. Since Eric didn’t have me by his side this time, he had brooded, over the last few weeks, on a masterplan. One I was forbidden to see.He told me that he loved me too much, to be able to execute me for treason, so he always put away every single piece of paper, when I came into the room, where he was scheming.He even went as far, as to try to sneak me into the “enemy camp” as one of his spies, since no one would suspect a pregnant woman to undergo such endangerment.When he saw my deadpan glare, he grouchily let it go. I was waiting in the pit with Tris and Christina, while Eric and Toby went to wake up the initiates, who had to pass this last test, before they would swap over to the sims.Only a few, who weren’t capable of being dauntless would have to leave, so this would most likely be their last chance to prove to themselves and their instructors, that they belonged here.They were slowly trickling into the pit, when their two instructors arrived. Eric and Toby joined us, scrutinizing their initiates.“If they don’t start to wake up, I will shoot every single one of them.” Eric spoke up, pointing at the transfers, that were looking like the walking dead, while the dauntless born looked pumped and ready to shoot shit. “Initiates!” My brother shouted. “We will now catch the train for capture the flag. Grab a gun and a box of ammo and hurry up. Everyone not inside the train will deal with the consequences!”As they all scattered to grab the required things, Eric came over and gave me a lingering kiss. I grabbed his vest, not wanting to let go.“Please, take care of yourself.”At that he just laughed. “You should worry about your brother, love.”“As if!” the later called through the pit.Eric rolled his eyes and bowed down to kiss me one last time. “I love you, princess.”“I love you, too.” I replied, before I watched him lead the initiates to the tracks, followed by my brother, Lauren and Christina, who would also participate. Tris was ordered to sit out, just like me, since she was pregnant.I had nothing else to do and it was past midnight, so I went with Tris to her and my brother´s flat, because I found out, at one of Eric´s night shifts, I was incapable of spending the night on my own.We had fun watching an old TV-show, before we fell asleep soon after one am....I was torn from my peaceful sleep, feeling as if I closed my eyes five minutes ago, as my phone started continuously ringing. Groggily I picked it up.“Hello?” I rasped, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, while Tris beside me stirred.“Is this Amy?” A slightly panicked voice asked. Being on instant alert I shot up and teared the blankets away from me.“Yes.”“I know you don’t work at the infirmary any longer, but you have to come in. We are mobilizing all our medical forces, since there is a large number of injured people coming in.” My mind instantly went to Eric and my brother.“What happened?” I asked, while frantically shuffling through the room, pulling on my clothes. Tris was now awake and staring at me in concern.“Apparently there was an attack from the factionless, targeting the initiates.”  I closed my eyes, starting to feel the familiar tightening of my throat. The feeling of panic.“Have you heard from the instructors? Are they hurt?” I managed to get out.“There is no further information available. But you have to hurry, they will arrive with the next train in approximately 13 minutes.”“I´ll be there.” I reassured him, before ending the call.Tris was now standing in front of me, freaked out herself by my panicked state.“What. happened?” She asked, trying hard to stay calm.“Factionless attack. They don’t know anything yet.” I told her, while trying to control the raging fear inside of me.But as I looked at Tris, I only saw determination inside her eyes. She grabbed my shoulders, shaking me lightly.“There is no need for panic, alright? They will both be okay. And we will start to worry, when we have to. Now, let´s go. You have to save lives.”With that she grabbed my arm, handed me a pair of shoes and pulled me out of the flat....As we arrived at the infirmary, there were people running around everywhere, trying to prepare for a large number of patients. This scene reminded me so much of the first time I was alone with Eric, if you don’t count our drunk encounter, which I didn’t.I just hoped that he would come home with only a scratch, again.Eric being the soldier and leader, he is, would never leave anyone behind and I knew he would risk his life for every single one of the initiates, even if he strongly disliked them.That´s what scared me the most. To calm myself down, I prepared the treatment rooms with everything that could be needed. The many bags of fluid, that were given through the IV, when the patient suffered immense blood loss, managed to make me anxious again. They were expecting heavily wounded.As I heard frantic calling from the corridor, I went out of the room, only to be pushed back by a horde of nurses that were hurrying two bodies on stretchers to the OR´s.“Amy, we need you!” one of them screamed at me, knowing I had a lot of experience with pulling out bullets, so I hurried towards them. I scrubbed as fast as I could and went into the OR, where they had him already under. As I looked down at his red hair, I knew it was the Candor boy, Eric threw of the roof.He had suffered massive blood loss, that was mirrored in his vital signs. His heart was pumping furiously, trying to compensate.The fluid, a mix out of isotonic saline, a substance that was mirroring the function of blood, carrying oxygen and some kind of fast healing serum, was already being pushed into him at the highest speed possible.He had a bullet wound in his abdomen, where it must have grazed one of the major arteries. He was lucky, he was still alive.So I picked up the scalpel, to make the incision larger. I worked at him for more than forty-five minutes, as I tried to locate the bullet and the place, where it had done the most damage.I finally found, where the bullet had grazed the spleen artery and pulled it out with a pair of tweezers.After I was done with that, I used one of erudite´s special transplants, effectively repairing the artery again.Since these transplants were provided with a special biochemical responder, they were able to locate damaged tissue on their own and in this case, successfully coiling itself around the artery, repairing any damage there might have been.The bleeding was stopped and he would live. I left the others to close him up again. He would be injected with a serum that would speed the healing up, making him able to participate in the sims, in about two weeks.I was too anxious to stay here any longer. The whole procedure took me over an hour and I couldn’t stand the uncertainty anymore. The stress was not just affecting me, but also my baby, so I had to go and search for him and Toby and Christina.After I had cleaned myself up as fast as I could, I hurried back to the front desk, where Keith nodded to me.“What do we have?” I asked him, knowing, if something has happened to Eric or Toby, he would be the first to tell me.“Two initiates in critical condition, 7 bullet wounds in non-critical areas, two of them just grazing shot. A lot of them have bruises and abrasion, from when they ran away and one broken arm.”“How many patients in total?”“All of the initiates are here, 28 in total, to get them checked out regarding to trauma. And three instructors.” He told me, before pointing towards one treatment room. “He´s over there.” Knowing ´he´ only could be one of two people, I rushed over and barged through the door. “Thank god!” I breathed out, then rushed into his arms, before pulling back and checking for injuries on his bare abdomen. Except for a few scratches he was fine. “I´m not hurt, Amy.” My brother reassured me, before pulling me back into him. “Doesn’t mean it wasn’t a close call.” “What do you mean?” I stare wide-eyed at him. The thought of losing my brother was agonizing and I flinched from the pain it caused me. “What happened out there?” Toby sighed, shaking his head.“We were just done with the game and wanted to gather everyone, before heading to the train, when they arrived. There were at least fifteen factionless and they were all carrying guns, while we only had our stunt guns, from which most were already empty.We somehow managed to get out of there. All of the initiates started to fire at them and they managed to take out at least seven, since we were almost the double of them. But when we were shoot, it didn’t stop hurting after five minutes, so we had to get the fuck out of there.On our way to the tracks we got separated and a few initiates got shot, so we, as in the instructors and I, went back to get them. I carried the candor and the rest of the initiates were able to get into the train on their own.” Tobias recounted, looking more than exhausted up at me. And his look was almost apologetic.“Toby?” I asked, starting to put the pieces together. “Keith told me that only 28 initiates were reported. Where are the other two?”He hung his head low. “I have no idea.”“Tobias.” I now started to panic, when he wouldn’t meet my gaze. “Tobias, where is Eric?!” My always so reserved brother, that would never show his feelings and never show weakness, slugged his shoulders in defeat.“I don’t know.” He whispered, almost too low for me to hear.“What did you say?” My self-control was slipping and I stared to really loose it.Sighing he repeated his words louder.“I don’t know where he is. He went to help the initiates and never came back.” “You´re kidding me, right?” My sight got blurry, but I wouldn’t be weak. Not now. “I´m sorry, A. There was nothing I could do to help him.” He was starting to get defensive. “So you just left him there?” I stared at him, not recognizing him. “You left him there, fighting against 15 man on his own?!” I clenched my teeth, glaring at the man in front of me.Tris steeped up, no doubt to defend him, but I wouldn’t have any of that, so I just glared at her. “Don’t.” “What did you want me to do? To go back to help him and let the others fend for themselves?” Toby asked incredulous. “You just said they were all already inside the train, so they would have been perfectly fine on their own.” I showed him how he contradicted himself. “So what? You wanted me to go back and get shot myself? Is that what you want?! Is he really more important to you than I am?!” Tobias got of the examination table now shouting at me. “HE is the father of my child!” I screamed right back.“I am your brother.” He hissed. “And I am terribly sorry that I wasn’t able to go back to help him, but he knew what he was doing. So what was I supposed to do, Amy?! Tell me!” “Anything, you should have done anything to help him.” I glared at him through tear-filled eyes.“Going back in there would have. been. suicide.” Toby said slowly, emphasizing each word. I let out a breath, before chuckling humorlessly. Shaking my head and closing my eyes for a few seconds, I then stared at my brother, not recognizing him.“Wooow.” I drawled out. ”I would have never pegged you as a coward.” I stated, before turning around and walking away.Pausing at the door, I addressed him one last time, without turning around. “If something happened to him, I will never forgive you.”...I was pacing through the hallways, running my hands through my hair, my tears found their own way, streaming down my face. But I refused to be weak, so I brushed them away, as fast as the new ones were coming.All the initiates have beem treated and the ones in critical condition were stable. As someone walked through the doors, I hurried towards them, but Max raised his hands, stopping me from bombarding him with questions. He came towards me and laid his hands on my shoulders.Since Eric was Max´ prodigy, they shared a deep connection, so he was the only one in this fucked up compound, that even knew in the slightest what I was going through, right now. “There hasn’t been word yet, but we send four patrols out. They will find him and they will bring him back unscathed.So don’t worry, Amy.In times like these, we have to be brave.” He comforted me, before lightly touching my cheek and as I nodded in understanding, he turned away to let Keith brief him about the situation at hand.Knowing that the long standing and the stress wouldn’t do me any good, I retreated to the waiting room, to… wait.  I sat down on one of the uncomfortable chairs, continuously wiping the tears away, I pulled my knees up and hugged them to my chest, the best I could, thanks to the little man inside me.And that’s how I was sitting here, waiting and hoping, hoping and waiting until the night turned into dawn.And as the sun was rising over our caged city, I was still sitting here, waiting for the love of my live to come back to me.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

I haven’t slept all night, not even for a minute and everything seemed to drag on forever.Wayne found me somewhere before dawn and joined my pity-party. Now we were waiting together, not speaking at all.It was his idea to get out of the waiting room and settle down at the pit, since this would be the first place, they´d arrive. If they arrive.So he pulled me up and guided me through the abandoned corridors, always supporting my weight and keeping me from falling, as I tripped numerous times on the uneven cave floor. The pit was relatively quiet, at six thirty am, which I found out from the massive digital clock, that was built into the stone. There were more members than usual out at this time, because Max had mobilized every patrol squad and doubled the forces inside the compound.There had been more attacks from factionless lately and with the one from tonight, the factions were getting restless. Why they had dared to assault such a large group of dauntless or how they got all their weapons, was a question that unsettled the leadership.I´ve seen it with my own eyes, as I was skimming through Eric´s reports on my search for a few documents.The sightings of large groups of factionless were increasing, which the CCTV only confirmed. My first visit as an ambassador to amity occurred for the same reason.It was getting scary.Being neglected and starved for years, they now seemed to gather. The factionless seemed to prepare themselves.But the question was, for what....Throughout the time I was sitting there, I had declined everything, Wayne offered me. I could neither stomach a muffin, nor could I drink orange juice. Just the memories of our first real night together hurt me so much, when I had to fathom, that it was possible, that I would never lay in his arms again.So I sat there on of the cushioned-chairs, Wayne had some guys bring out for us, since he wouldn’t have me sitting on the cold cave floor.As if I cared in this moment.My arms were still slung around my knees and I was staring into nothingness, as I heard people running into the pit.I looked up with tired eyes and saw a bunch of infirmary workers run towards a tunnel, leading to the train tracks.“They´re coming!”I looked up sharply, meeting Wayne´s eyes, who was now standing in front of me.“Do you think…?” I rasped, speaking for the first time in hours.“Yeah, it must be him.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me up. “Let´s go.”We walked towards the crowd, that had gathered around the entrance, but before we reached them, I stopped.“Amy?” Wayne inquired, looking concerned.“I can´t… What if he´s… What if he´s not coming back?” My voice broke at the last words andWayne grabbed my shoulders. “Come on, Amy. As if Eric would something so trivial like death part you two.” He attempted to cheer me up and it worked. If even just a little bit. I turned towards the crowd, just as it parted for a lone figure.There he was standing in all his glory. Battered and bruised, full of dirt, but he was alive.As I met his eyes, I could finally breathe for the first time, in what felt like hours. He came striding towards me, to no doubt pull me into him, but I didn’t let him.The crack of my hand against his cheek echoed through the whole pit, making all heads turn towards us. “How could you?!” I sobbed, hitting his chest over and over again. “How could you do that to me? How could you...? How…?!”Eric, no doubt being aware of my fragile state, grabbed my wrists and pulled me into his chest and I collapsed, not having the strength to stay upright anymore. So he scooped me into his arms, one of them behind my knees and lifted me up, as I continued to sob relentlessly, while he walked away from prying eyes.“Princess.” He sighed, hugging me even closer to him. “I told you not to worry about me. I can handle myself, you know?”“How can you say that?” I sniffed.“Because it´s true?” He asked, mocking me lightly.“You´re an asshole.” I stated, while I pressed my face into his neck. He smelled of dirt and sweat, but I didn’t care.“You´re just realizing that now?” Eric laughed loudly, before shifting my weight and fishing a key out of his pants. It was just now, that I realized that we weren’t in front of our apartment, but instead at his office.I glared at him. “If you tell me, that you´re here to do paperwork, I am going to skin you alive.”Eric chuckled at the not just metaphorically meant threat and sat me down in a chair, facing his desk. “And here I was hoping, that you´d missed me.”“Make another joke about that and suffer the consequences.”He wiggled his eyebrows at me. “Dominating Amy is kind of hot.” I shut him up with another glare, so he just busied himself with god knows what.Eric was rummaging through stakes of papers, as someone knocked on the door, before stepping into the room.“Eric, son. It´s so good to see you back, unharmed.” Max walked towards him, clapping his shoulder.“Thanks Max.” Eric grinned, before he shifted his gaze at me. “See, love, that´s how you greet somebody you missed.”I grinded my jaw, before glaring at him with all the hatred, I could bring up. “Fuck you.”Max laughed at that. “Don’t make it too hard for her. She was out of her mind with worry.” At his words, I could see the first glimpse of regret shadowing Eric´s face, but it was as soon gone, as it came.“I hope you took care of my child.” He stated disapprovingly and as I just looked away, he sighed. “Of course not.” Max looked between the two of us, before addressing Eric. “You wanted me here to witness something?” “Yes.” Eric answered, as he pulled a sheet of paper out of a folder. “Here it is.”With that he laid an official looking document in front of me. “What the hell is this?” I asked Eric, not really believing, he would drag me into his office, after I was up all night worrying about him, to sign paperwork.“This, my love,”, he started, while handing me a fountain pen. “is a marriage certificate. It will make you mine. Not that you weren’t before, but it will be official.” I looked from him to the paper, incredulous, that he would do something like this, now, of all times.“Now would be the perfect time to pretend to be happy.” Eric informed me, incredibly smug and amused by my expression.“Are you kidding me right now?” He was really testing my patience.“No, princess. I´m not.” He raised his eyebrows, challenging me.“Why? Why now?!” I inquired, still unbelieving that he would throw something like this at me, after I lived through hell. “What happened to you not wanting to marry?” “I realized something tonight, as I had a gun pressed against my temple.” Eric stated, seemingly not bothered at this fact, while my eyes widened at the information of how easily I could have lost him tonight. “I realized that I would leave you with no savings to raise our child or take care of yourself.”I blinked rapidly. “That´s your reason for proposing to me? Money?”Eric inhaled deeply and turned to me.“What do you want me to say? Do you want me to declare my undying love for you? Fine, I love you.You want me to tell you I won’t sleep with other women? Okay, I probably won’t.You want me to tell you that I will forever take care of you and our children? I will do my best.You want me to recite a poem, I know a lot of them.But don’t think I only do this out of practical reasons, it would have happened anyway, so why the hell not now?”His declaration was pure delight for my wounded heart, but one of his words was bothering me to no end.“Probably?”Eric chuckled lowly, before he sunk to his knees in front of my chair.“It´s so typical for you to only hear one thing…” He trailed off, as he caressed my face. Closing my eyes, I leaned into his soft touch. “So, what do you say?” He breathed against my mouth.“You´re an idiot.” I whispered back. “You are my idiot.Where do I have to sign?”Smiling at me, Eric pulled me up and lead me to his desk, were the document lay, that would make us one. I picked up the pen, signing on the dotted line. Eric´s signature was already donning the paper.I put the cap back on the pen, as Eric took the document and handed it to Max, who signed as a witness. He then looked up at us, smiling widely. “As a leader of Dauntless I now declare you husband and wife. May you always take care for each other and may your love never fade.” After Max spoke, Eric pulled me into him and tilted me backwards, before he kissed me passionately, our tongues intertwining.“Now there´s only one thing left to do.” Eric informed me and as if on que, someone knocked on the door.Tori entered, carrying a large bag with her. “You wanted tattoos?” she asked, smiling at me, before scowling at Eric. Since he and her brother had a huge fight, she couldn’t stand the young leader anymore.“Yes, I already selected them.” Eric told her, before telling her to start already. “Very well.”, she answered before fastening the tattoo pads around our ring fingers. She then programmed the machine, before pushing a button.I felt a piercing pain all around the base of my finger, where the pad was located, pushing hundreds of tiny needles into my skin. The burning sensation was something, almost every Dauntless was familiar with, so I wasn’t really freaked out by that.The tattoo on my back had hurt a lot more.“You´re all done.” Tori said, before taking off the pads, revealing the sign of the bond we now shared.Eric´s ´ring´ was a black, solid band around his finger, only interrupted by an ´A.C.´, on the side of his palm.Mine was equally simple, but beautiful none the less. A few thinner lines were intertwining, slinging themselves around my finger, until they meet the initials ´E.C.´. I stared at it in awe, pondering what it would mean for the two of us, as Eric scooped me up and carried me out of the room, only leaving me enough time to call a thanks to the both of them. That’s how I got married in an office, dressed in scrubs, as my, now husband, came home from a near-death experience, looking like he crawled through dirt, which he probably really did.And I wouldn’t change a thing about it....We agreed, that our first deed as a wedded people would be a shower, since we both desperately needed one.Eric had carried me all the way, through the compound and the threshold of our apartment, into our bathroom, stripping me out of my clothes, while he did the same.Who said anything about men not being able to multitask? We were standing under our large shower head, as Eric sensually ran the sponge over my whole body, lingering on my belly and my breasts. As he was done washing me from my calves up to my neck, he bypassed the place, I wanted him to touch the most.Pressing open mouthed kisses up my whole body, he paused when he arrived at my mouth, before reaching down, grabbing my thighs and kissing my deeply.Hosting me up, he walked out of the shower, not bothering to dry us or breaking our kiss.Then he flung me onto the bed, making me bounce a few time, before he crawled up on my body, facing me again.His grey eyes never leaving mine, as I grabbed down and guided him into me.Reveling in the pure bliss, I thought I would never experience again, I arched my back, as Eric peppered kisses all over my neck.With his long, hard thrusts, he inflamed me once again, like he did many times before. But this time, I felt our bond growing as he sunk himself into me over and over again, not once looking anywhere else than my eyesWith a hand on my hip, Eric anchored me to him, while he relentlessly guided us to our own world of bliss.Exploding against him, he followed me suit, collapsing on top of me, rightfully consuming our marriage.Eric lazily raised his head and grinned at me.“If I may say so myself, your husband is a skilled man”...We spend the whole day in bed, alternating between catching up on sleep and losing ourselves in each other.After our third round, I found myself snuggled up on Eric, lightly tracing the muscles of his abdomen.“What happened out there tonight?” I asked him lowly, making him exhale deeply.“We were just done with Capture the flag. I won, by the way.” He joked, before becoming serious again. “Then the factionless arrived. They had surrounded us and the only weapons we had, were the stunt guns. So we used them and managed to break out. They chased us up until the train tracks, when we, as in the instructors and I, realized we have been separated from a few of them. So Four and I went back, while Lauren and Christina guided the others to the train.We found the lost ones and took a few factionless out. Four grabbed the Candor and ushered the others away, but as I went to follow them, I heard someone scream, so I went back.”I lowered my head at that. I had been pretty harsh with my brother last night…“What happened after?”Eric shifted slightly, pulling me closer to him. “I followed the screams and saw them holding one of the erudite girls and the second amity, that tried to help her. I followed them for at least an hour, since I couldn’t take ten of that bastards out, on my own. But they spotted me, as I crossed a street, so one of those idiots waved his gun in front of my face, not thinking, that I could easily disarm him. So I did, shoot at least five of them and the two initiates freed themselves.Then we had to hide, because those idiots somehow called back up. So it was early morning, when he spotted one of the patrols, that took us back to the compound”Eric concluded his report with a kiss to my head. “They really are getting stronger…” I trailed off, knowing that the large number of them could be a serious threat to us.“They are, but don’t worry. We´re working on it.”Eric promised, before rolling on top of me again, successfully ending our little conversation....We hadn´t left the bed all day long, not even for food. So as dinner time arrived, we dressed, to eat in the mess hall. An easy meal with my friends, sounded, after these tiring 24 hours, like heaven.As we arrived, I went to sit down with my friends, but Eric pulled me up to his table. “You can join them in a few minutes, love.” He told me, before sitting down and pulling me onto his lap.“What do you mean?” I asked him, but was interrupted by the clanging of many cups on metal, announcing a proclamation from one of our leaders. As usual, it was Max, standing on the platform, raising his hands to quiet down the dauntless, that were paying him tribute, in this way. “I am standing here in front of you, today, to tell you that our initiates were viciously attacked, as they were honoring one of our traditions. That none of them were killed and that they all found their way back to us, proves us their bravery.” At that, the whole cafeteria erupted into cheers again. “For that we will add 3 days for them to recover, since two of them were in critical condition. Phase 2 will start in 5 days, starting from now.” I looked at Eric. “The redhead won’t be able to participate so soon.”, but Eric just shrugged his shoulders. “Then he will start later. He will still have over a month to catch up.”Since that made sense, I turned back to Max, catching the second half of his speech. “But this is not the only reason, I´m standing here, right now. We have something to celebrate as well.”I turned rigid. “He wont…?”Eric chuckled at my panic. “Oh, he will.” “We are here to celebrate the newly made union between two of our most highly regarded members. I am delighted to announce the marriage of our youngest leader and defense expert, Eric and our newly assigned ambassador to amity, Amy.” The stunned silence that held the room hostage for a few seconds was interrupted by ferocious cheering.All the noise from the cups banging and people screaming, made me hide my head in Eric´s biceps, but he, being not bothered by it, at all, just raised his cup, tilting it towards his superior, who beamed down at him. Sadly, I wasn’t able to hide for long, since Wayne jumped at Eric, calling him a bastard, before hugging him hard. And it wasn’t even the usual man-hug, but a real one.Eric grabbed my hand, as more and more people came streaming towards us, to congratulate their leader and his wife. First were all the higher ranking members, that were sitting around us. Even Maggs came to give me a brief, almost non-existent hug, before slapping Eric´s shoulder.It went on for what felt like ages, as almost every member inside the mess hall came to wish us well.After about fifteen minutes I was facing all of my friends, who were staring at me in a mixture of awe and incredulousness. I had to laugh at their faces and Eric, who had spotted them, too, pulled me into his chest, laid his chin on top of my head and locked his hands on my belly.“Before you start to accuse her, for not being invited, I kind of sprung it on her and refused to hear a no. So deal with it.” Eric said the last sentence not as serious, as he usually would, so I figured, he slowly started to warm up at them. “Congratulations!” Christina screamed, before ripping me away from Eric and into her. “Since I couldn’t be bridesmaid, I expect at least a celebration party. And I will host it!” She looked at Eric threatingly and as he just rolled his eyes, she understood it as a victory. Uriah and Zeke pulled me into bear hugs, raising me from the ground. Belle almost choked me to death, as she gripped me, jumping up and down like a rabbit on peace serum.Lynn´s hug was short, while Marlene´s was warm.Tris smiled at me, before pulling me into a light one.As she stepped to the side, I was facing my brother.Once again in awkward silence.He surprised me, when he started to smile and went to shake Eric´s hand, before whispering something into his ear.After that, he turned to me and held me closely to him, while resting his chin on top of my head. Apparently I was short.“I would have never thought that you get married before me.” He chuckled, before looking into my eyes.“You´re not mad?” I asked, not quite trusting him, yet.“I told you, I will never act like that again. Even though I´d wish to have been there, it was the right thing to do.And I am sorry for last night.”Raising my gaze to him, I saw that he was genuine, so I smiled hesitantly. “What I said was wrong. Don’t think that I would ever want something happening to you, I was just…” I stopped, not knowing how to explain, what I was feeling.“You were upset. And don’t worry, A. I know all of that.I love you.”“I love you, too, Toby.” He grinned at me, before looking over at Eric. That’s when his grin turned mischievously. “Hey, Eric!” As the latter turned around with raised eyebrows, my brother went on.“I hope you´ll get used to me calling you brother-in-law.”Eric looked confused for a minute, before his facial expression turned to a slightly disgusted one, causing our whole group to erupt into laughter. “If that´s the price to pay, I will suffer the consequences.” Eric exhaled deeply and as he smiled at me, I knew that he meant, what he just said. I was surrounded by my husband, my friends and my family. I was finally happy.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The next few weeks went by, without further drama for any of us. Eric was working late almost every day, analyzing footage and trying to come up with a suitable plan, to raid the abandoned warehouses.Whoever said “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”, never met Eric on one of his missions to seek revenge. So I spend my days with whoever of my friends was off work, mostly Belle, Uriah or Tris, who was suffering because of her pregnancy, before meeting Eric for lunch, if he was free. It was the only time at day, when I was able to see him, before he woke me up in the middle of the night, as he slipped into bed, since he was always gone in the early hours of the day.I was still working through all the folders, I received for my ambassador training. Knowing I wouldn’t have much time, after my baby was born, I tried to internalize as much of the given information, as possible. Christina was true to her word and hosted a celebration in honor of the both of us. She somehow managed to squeeze me into another tight dress, much to Eric´s delight, who was wearing a tux, much to mine.The festivities were held in one of the conference rooms, that she decorated accordingly, while all our friends and colleagues mingled with each other, drinking and laughing.They even somehow managed to invite Adrian, who arrived with a large grin on his face, congratulating us both with a hug.He had somehow been able to sneak his way into my heart, with his strange attics and his sarcastic humor, and I strongly assumed, I wasn’t the only one.Where I used to see resentment and disdain from Eric´s side and arrogance on Adrian´s, there was now something, that displayed, that they indeed shared a brotherly bond, no matter how small it was. Adrian reminded me as we made small talk, that I had another ultrasound in a few days. Being 27 weeks, I was starting to feel really tired after standing short periods of time, so Eric ushered me home after three hours and leaving regretfully to the control room, since there had been new sightings of factionless....So I found myself a few days later, walking to the infirmary on my own. Eric had once again been called this morning to lead an expedition group, to investigate an abandoned warehouse close to the merciless mart, in candor.It was most unlikely that he would come back in time, as I had learned the last few weeks, so I had to do the examination on my own. One of the nurses, I used to work with, draw my blood and took my weight and vitals, before guiding me to the room and telling me to prepare myself.As I lay there, staring at the white ceiling, I was reminded of my first ultrasound.The first shared moment with Eric, the first moment ever, when I was able to envision a future with him, even when the foreboding anger of my brother scared me, from hindsight, everything was worth it.My child will be worth it.  I hadn’t had to wait too long, before Adrian walked into the room. He greeted me with the obligatory hug, before he busied himself on the machine.“So I take it, Eric won´t be here today?” He asked after a few minutes.“He wanted to, but he had to go on a patrol near Candor, so it´s highly unlikely that he will make it. They´re usually out there the whole day.” I informed him sadly.Hearing my sadness, Adrian rolled towards me on his little chair, grabbing my hand.“Don’t worry, they will soon have them under control again.” “I hope so.” He smiled, while unrolling the cable and squirting the gel onto my belly.“They will.” He reassured me. “Let’s have a look at your little man. That will cheer you up.” Pressing the wand on my already huge bump, it took him a few minutes to measure the baby and check for certain diseases or deformities.“Have you had any troubles?” “Well, I can’t stand anymore for longer periods of time, my abdomen sometimes feels tight and the Braxton-Hicks-contraction sometimes get worse.” I informed him, thinking of a certain night, where they were so bad, Eric was freaking out and carried me all the way to the infirmary, even when I told him, that it was normal.“I heard about that.” Adrian laughed. “Little overprotective, isn’t he?”“Always.” I agreed, chuckling.He then showed me once again, my babies face, his arms and his legs. “From what I can see here, I would say he is about 16 inches long and about 2.5 pound heavy, which is over average. But if you look at his father, I would say it´s normal.”“Great, I´m having a giant.” I grumbled sarcastically, making Adrian snicker, as he examined me further....I was just leaving the infirmary, as Eric came striding towards me.“Did I miss it?”As I smiled regretfully at him, he closed his eyes, trying to calm down. “He couldn’t wait any longer, he had to get back to the hospital, but it´s okay, Eric.”“No, it´s not okay!” He shouted, before punching the wall.I gasped, running towards him to prevent him from hurting himself further. “Stop it, Eric!” I grabbed his hand with the now bloody knuckles.“It was one ultrasound. You will be there for the next one. So suck it up.” I tried to cheer him up, with using one of his most used phrases.But he still looked conflicted, as he pulled me into him, burying his head into my hair.“I feel like I don’t get to see you anymore and it´s driving me nuts. I don’t like the thought of you being alone in our flat, with no one to check up on you.”“You´re exaggerating.” I lectured him. “I am almost always with one of my friends, so you don’t have to worry about me.”“I will always worry about you, no matter what.” He murmured into my hair.“And I wouldn’t want it any other way.”...Later that week I decided to spent my afternoon with Tris, since we shared the same abandonment regarding our men.When my brother was done with the fear simulation of the initiates, he would either join the workers in the control room or lead patrols through the factionless sectors. So the two of us spent most of the time together.Tris had now to face the same problem, I had 10 weeks prior.Not many knew of her pregnancy, since she and Four were big on being private, but she was starting to show. It didn’t help that she felt a lot more awful, than I had, what kept her from going to work in the control room, since she was done being instructor for this year.That was also the reason, why we met at her flat. Like normally, I arrived and first checked up on her, when I saw she was sleeping. Then I brought her lemon water, since that helped with the nauseous, before cooking. The greasy food at the cafeteria made it worse, so we usually ate something light, like chicken and bread. “I don’t even know what I would do without you.” Tris murmured, as she came out of the bedroom, wearing one of Toby´s shirts and leggings. Her hair was all over the place and she looked like hell.I laughed at that.“I will be my undoing If I become my obsession.I will forget the ones I love If I do not serve them.I will war with others If I refuse to see them.Therefore I choose to turn away from my reflection,To rely not on myselfBut on my brothers and sisters,To project always outwardUntil I disappear." (1)
 
I jokingly quoted the abnegation manifesto, that was drilled into me.Literally.With a belt. “And only God remains.”Tris concluded with the sentence, that really was the only thing we could choose in that faction.That sentence wasn’t mandatory, so we could choose at least one thing in our lives.How generous. “The good ´ole times.” I muttered, sarcastically.“Hey, it wasn’t all bad!” Tris called over her shoulder, but realized her mistake, as she saw my raised eyebrow. “I mean the faction itself, not Marcus.” “Yeah, the only good thing about him was that he drank so much, that he passed out, before he hit us.” I clicked my tongue, remembering, how I had to drag him into his bed at times. And let me tell you, he´s a heavy bastard. “I still can’t believe, my parents never noticed.” Tris shook her head, lost in thought. “Oh, your mother knew.” I stated, as I turned the chicken in the pan.“What?!” She shouted, making me drop the spatula.I stared at her. “Yes, she always suspected something, but she found out when my choosing was only a few months away. It wouldn’t have been worth it.” “Are you kidding me?! Of course it would have been worth it!” She exclaimed, but she didn’t know what she was talking about. “Yeah, it would have looked real good, running to the council crying, a few months, before deflecting to dauntless. It would have made me look weak.Not to mention what it would have done to Tobias. Maybe not many people know him as anything other than Four anymore, but they would have found out and he would have gone through hell here, just as he started to build his new life. Trust me, I thought a lot about it and suffering through a few months of abuse, when I had already survived 17 years of it, was a small price to pay for my brother’s happiness.”At first, Tris seemed ashamed, but then a look of understanding crossed her face and she came up to me. “Still as selfless as ever.”“What can I say? Abnegation in mind, but dauntless at heart.” I joked, while Tris embraced me. Or at least tried to.It was like hugging with a medicine ball between our bodies, awkward and uncomfortable, so we were just able to press our shoulders together. “Oh man, these two will have a lot of fun together.” I sighed, rubbing my belly and waiting for my son to respond to the touch.That has become Eric´s favorite pastime. No matter, if I was sleeping or not, he would uncover my belly and lay beside me, his face really close to it. Then he would lightly push two fingers on my bump, waiting. Usually it took less than ten seconds for a little hand or a foot to appear, the shape pressing the skin upwards.But the most beautiful thing about the whole ordeal was his facial expression. When he was awake and in proximity of people he always stayed guarded, even with me.But when he thought I was asleep, I could see his face light up with utter delight and contentment. It was the thing I treasured the most in this world.Seeing the father interact with my unborn child, while his face spoke of adoration. “If their father´s won´t stir up the competition between them, too badly.” Tris joked, but I sensed a hint of seriousness behind it. “Well, then let´s hope yours will be a girl. Then there would be not as much testosterone wreaking havoc.” I sighed, now seasoning the chicken breasts.“I´m afraid your prayers won’t be heard this time.”I turned around, a little confused. “What do you mean?”As I saw her smile, something clicked in my head. “You´re having a boy?!”As she nodded, I grabbed her hands, squeezing them. There would be no more hugging, I learned my lesson. “Wait, until Eric hears… I bet he´s going to establish a toddler-orientated training plan with exercises for mind and body.” I joked, making Tris laugh.“Well, Tobias certainly already started the moral lessons.” She followed my lead. “What´s that supposed to mean? You´re talking about my husband, you know?” Pretending to be offended, I glared at her, making us both loose it completely.Something that was unheard of in Abnegation and I was glad to be here instead....It was already late at night and I was snuggled up on the coach, wrapped up in my blanket like a burrito, as rapid and loud knocks ripped me out of my almost slumber.My heart started beating rapidly, since the last time something like that happened, Eric was missing.Being woken up abruptly and late at night was never a good sign, so I hurried over to the door and pulled it open.I came face-to-face with a puffy-eyed Uriah. He just stood there, staring at me, while silently shaking.“Uriah? What´s wrong?” I asked concerned. Everyone that was dear to him, was dear to me.At my words, a tear escaped his eyes.“Did you know…?” He rasped out, looking at me with his big, sad eyes. Not being able to stand seeing him in pain, I pulled him into the apartment, closing the door behind him. “What should I know?” I asked, but he turned his head away from me. So I placed my hands softly on his cheeks, turning it back and making him look into my eyes. “Uri?” “Marlene cheated on me…” he whispered, hanging his head against mine in utter defeat. I took in a sharp breath of air, just as he leaned against me.Marlene and Uriah always seemed so in love… How could that happen? Not being able to support his weight any longer, I guided him towards the coach, sitting him down. Knowing what I would want to do in that situation, I went to one of the cupboards and took out a full bottle of scotch, not bothering with a glass.As if he would need one.Handing him the bottle, he took huge gulps, as I sat down beside him, laying my head on his shoulder. “Tell me about it… Who was he?” Uriah just chuckled darkly, not a trace of humor in his voice. “He? Why would you think she´d choose a guy? Since obviously I couldn’t satisfy her, she choose someone else. Someone without a dick.” “Are you serious?!” I turned my head so fast, I got whiplash. “Who did she sleep with?!”Uriah looked up to the ceiling, obviously trying not to cry again. “Lynn.” 
What?!
 “You´re kidding, right?!” That was something that just couldn’t be true, but he just stayed silent. “She slept with her best friend? Uri, tell me you´re kidding.”He took another gulp.“Nope, obviously she wanted to see how green the grass is on the other side, before tying herself to me for all her life.” Uriah pulled on his hair, as he rested his elbows on his knees.“Why tying herself down?” I asked, mildly confused.“Ohhhh, I haven’t told you the best part, yet” He chuckled darkly. “I asked her to marry me. I fucking proposed and she thought it would be the perfect opportunity to tell me she´s been fucking her best friend.”“You wanted to marry her?” I breathed. “Oh, Uri…” “You heard the plural, yes?” “For how long…?” I asked, not really wanting to know.“At least two months.” He told me. ”She wouldn’t tell me more, but apparently she didn’t consider it as cheating, since Lynn isn’t a man.”“That´s bullshit!” Alone that statement enraged me to a point, where I would have loved to slap the shit out of the both of them. I´m a woman, I´m allowed to do that.“Yeah, isn’t it.” He muttered, staring into the nothingness of the now half-empty bottle. At some time, Uriah had to lay down, being drunk out of his mind. He told me everything. From how the ring looked, how he even went down onto one knee.How she then started to cry, telling him that she´s been sleeping with her best friend for months.How they fought and how he couldn’t think of anyone besides me, that he wanted near him. Not even his brother, since Zeke´s wife was Lynn’s sister.He knew my Abnegation upbringing would support him, as well as condemn the act of something as utterly selfish as cheating. His head lay in my lap, as he cried and then, as he finally fell into a deep, scotch-induced sleep. That’s how Eric found us, cuddled up on the couch, as he threw his keys into the bowl and turned around, only now noticing us. “What. the. Fuck?!” he growled, making me roll my eyes. “Don´t. Just don’t. He just fell asleep.” I told him, before lifting up Uri´s head. Getting the hint, Eric begrudgingly came over and placed a pillow under his head, before pulling me into him possessively.“What happened to him?” He gestured with his head towards Uriah, without a doubt being aware of his condition. He reeked of alcohol.I shook my head, that still lay on his chest.“Let´s just say, if you ever cheat on me, I will castrate you.” Eric laughed loudly at that idle threat.“Well, I suppose it´s good that I already got one monster on the way.” He chuckled, before tilting his head on me.“With who?”Sighing I told him. “Lynn.”“Damn.” He muttered. “Don’t even think that I would ever allow something like that. The next person to touch you like that will be dead.”“I guessed as much.” I confessed to him, before pulling him into the bedroom. All I wanted to do was sleep.This was one hell of a day....I woke up late the next morning, being exhausted from the events of yesterday.So as I came into the kitchen, Uriah was already siting there, drinking a coffee with Eric, who was surprisingly still here. They were talking quietly and as he saw me coming , Eric slapped his back, before turning around to bring me Orange juice and eggs, my usual breakfast.We ate mostly in silence, that was only interrupted by my embarrassingly bad attempts at small talk.Soon after that, Eric had to go to the office, but he promised me to meet us in the mess hall for lunch.So I spent my morning with trying to cheer Uriah up and at noon, I could tell it was starting to work. But it may have also been my embarrassing performance, as I wanted to bake him cake and managed to pour all the flour over myself, making him laugh out loud.So after a thorough shower we were ready to tackle the crowd. But as we came closer to the mess hall, I felt his mood worsen again....We made our way through the cafeteria, our destination, the leader table. But as we were walking through the rows of dauntless eating, I spotted the two woman in question sitting at my old table, discussing feverishly. I guess that’s when my motherly instincts set in, because white, hot fury washed through me, burning ever last remaining concern, of making an inappropriate scene.I decided to shout for him, since he couldn’t even whisper right now. “Amy? What are you doing?!” Uriah hissed, as I marched towards Marlene and Lynn, but I ignored him, making him running after me, but he was to slow. I banged my hands against the table. Hard.Both of them looked startled up to me, but while Marlene´s eyes widened in fear, Lynn just rolled hers.“Great, here comes the upholder of moral standards.” She said sarcastically, signaling me that my presence wasn’t welcome.But right now I didn’t give a shit.“You find that funny?” I asked her.“No, I think this is kindergarten. What? Has he not the guts to do this himself?” Lynn sassed right back at me.“This has nothing to do with that!” I raised my voice.“It has everything to do with that!”Finding her straightforward character otherwise deliberating, it only stunned me now, that she dared to speak like that, after she was the one, who did something wrong. “No, this is about you not seeing that you destroyed a relationship and screwed over one of your best friends.” “It wasn’t my relationships, was it? So don’t accuse me!” Lynn stood up, shooting me dirty looks. Her hateful reply stunned me, but I looked over to Marlene, who had tears streaming down her face. She didn’t even dare to meet my eyes.I shook my head at that. “Have you absolutely no feeling of dignity or decency?” I whispered, incredulous by their behavior. “And there she is. The stiff.”At her loud reply, most people around us gasped. It wasn’t just an insult for Abnegation, but she also dared to insult the wife of a leader in front of the whole faction.From the corner of my eye, I saw Eric, who just walked in, stiffen “Oh, you think that’s something bad?” I smirked at her infidelity. “You think it’s not worth to stand up for someone else? To bring up the courage to tell someone that they did wrong? So you don’t believe in our manifest?And since were already talking about courage,” I added, knowing I had to beat her with her own weapons, before Eric would do something, I would regret. So I went on.” It wasn’t really brave for a dauntless-born, who was told her whole life how important bravery is, to hide an affair for months, instead of speaking up the second it happened. Seems cowardly to me.” Knowing I hit bullseye, Lynn scowled at me.“As if you understand anything about bravery. The only thing you are bothered by, is that I´m fucking women, something you stiffs think of as a sin.” “The thing I care about is your cowardice. Love is Love. So you can fuck whoever the hell you want, if it´s a woman or a man, but if you screw over my friends you will have to answer to me.”With that I turned around and walked away, but some assholes comment made me freeze in my steps. “Looks like someone couldn’t satisfy his lady.” A guy behind me snickered, making me turn around slowly, glaring murderously at him. “If you don’t want to spend the rest of your life working on the fence at night, I suggest you keep your mouth shut. That applies to all of you.” I shouted the last sentence, before glaring a last time at them, grabbing Uri´s arm and pulling him to the leader table, meeting a smirking Eric at the aisle, his face showing nothing but Pride.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

It was initiation day and I was on my way to the fear landscape room inside the huge glass building, where the final test was held, right in this moment.Eric´s been there for hours, while I busied myself with cleaning up the apartment. Since I had moved in, the once spotless flat wasn’t as clean as it used to be, which made me feel guilty. So I scrubbed the floor for over an hour on my knees, as my belly was weighting me down. In the end, I was exhausted, but everything was shining and I decided to take a well-deserved Nap, before going out. Now I was hoping to catch a glimpse of Eric, before they went off to discuss the rankings. I arrived at the landscape room, just as the last initiate came out of it, causing the people around me to cheer so loudly, I had to cover my ears.Throughout my pregnancy, I had become more vulnerable for headaches, so I tried to avoid loud noises as much as possible.So I squeezed through the throngs of dauntless and stepped into the fear landscape room, trying not to look through the glass.I wasn’t afraid of heights, like my brother was, but looking down into the pit from such a height, made me dizzy.Inside, the floor was made of stone, once again. Otherwise, my brother, who was smiling at me, as he put away the equipment, wouldn’t have been able to work here.I just know it. I spotted Eric talking to Max, so I waited patiently, to not disturb them. Max saw me waiting and gave me a small nod, acknowledging my presence. Registering his movement, Eric turned around and as he saw me standing there, my hands folded above my huge belly, he beckoned me over. “What brings you here today, Amy?” Max asked, as Eric slung his arm around my back and kissed my head.“I just wanted to see this big oaf here, before he would disappear again.” I joked, lightly nudging Eric, who scowled at me, seemingly not happy that I was here.“So you walked over narrow pathways, without a railing, because you couldn’t wait a few more minutes to see me?” He asked, sounding pissed.I stepped out of his embrace, crossing my arms in front of my chest. “Why are you so angry?”“Maybe,” he started, widening his stance, trying to intimidate me. “because my wife thought it would be okay, to risk the health of our baby, by coming up here without a valid reason.”His harshness, made my tear up.“So you think I´m not a good mother?” I asked him, deeply wounded, as I took a step away from him.“For fucks sake, Amy!” Eric groaned. “Don’t always twist my words.”I turned around, to blink away my tears and I came to face broad shoulders. Looking up, I met deep blue eyes, that looked down on me in concern.Needing my brother´s comfort, to soothe my feelings, I wrapped my arms around him and hid my face in his chest. He sighed, mirroring my movements, before talking lowly to me. “Amy, he just had to watch 30 fear landscapes, with the lowest amount of 10 and the highest at 18 fears, he´s just annoyed. You know he didn’t mean it like that.”I sniffled, turning my head slightly, to see Eric running his hands through his hair.“Really?”Toby gave me one of his rare, genuine smiles. “I promise.”Turning away from Tobias, I once again faced to two leaders, from which one looked amused and the other exasperated.“I´m sorry.” I addressed Eric meekly, still sniffling, making him roll his eyes.“You´ll be the death of me, you know?”“I know.” Chuckling faintly, I grabbed his hands and gazed at him, lovingly.“Your hormones are making you an emotional wreck.” Eric stated, but he still couldn’t stop  playing with my fingers, that were locked with his.“I know” Whispering, I snuggled closer to him and he finally wrapped me into his broad arms.“And if you ever accuse me of something like this again, I will punish you.” He whispered into my ear, his raspy voice causing tingles to erupt all over my spine.“I count on it.” I breathed against his lips, as I ran my hands adoringly over his abs. “In fact, I have a little time at hand, now…”Eric grabbed my wandering hands and pressed them against his chest, as he bowed down to capture my lips in a searing kiss. “Be careful what you wish for, princess. You might not be able to handle everything I could give to you.” “Aaaand that´s my cue.”, my brother declared, looking slightly disturbed and a little disgusted.As I realized that we were, in fact, in a room full of people, with the head leader only a few feet away from us, having witnessed my embarrassing performance of sadness and desperation, I excused myself hastily and with burning cheeks, almost running out of the room.Max booming laughter followed me all the way....The celebration of the new members, after the announcement of the rankings in the mess hall, would be held in the pit.So as I walked to the cafeteria, I watched as all the workers were carrying around large beer kegs, while the bartenders made sure, they were all stocked up, as well.At a few corners there were guys, trying to stay unnoticed, as they sold substances to some of the members, that wanted to broaden their horizons. Most of that stuff was peace serum, but there were a few other things, coming without a doubt from an erudite lab, that weren’t as harmless as the latter.Taking drugs was frowned upon, but not forbidden, so I couldn’t do anything about it. But everyone who got addicted to them and failed to comply their assigned tasks, would be factionless, without a second thought from the leaders....I arrived in the mess hall just in time for the leaders to step onto the platform.This time it would be Eric´s turn to hold a speech. I already know it by heart, since I caught him rehearsing it in front of the mirror.As I burst into a fit of giggles, he glared at me and threw me onto the bed, careful not to hurt me. But he had to teach me a lesson.His words, not mine. Eric stepped forward, raising one hand to silence the dauntless all around me. “We´ve gathered here today, to celebrate the end of the four-month long initiation process and to welcome our new members. They have learned to endure, in countless hours of shaping their bodies into perfection, they have suffered and they all shed blood.Then they had to live through their worst fears and beat them, to prepare for the fight there is to come.The factionless are rising and we have to be the one to stop them.Because this is dauntless.We are strong.We are protectors.And we leave the speeches to erudite, so here are the rankings.”  Eric gestured behind him and on cue, the board on the wall lit up. But I was only able to see the first three names, all dauntless born, the second one was Hector, Shauna’s brother, before someone grabbed my elbow and pulled me through the throngs of dauntless.“What the hell, Toby?” I asked my brother, as he hurried me through the pit and then the empty corridors, that lead away from the festivities and towards his apartment. “We have to talk and this is the only way, without making Eric suspicious. Hurry up, we don’t have much time.” Tobias informed me, talking so quietly, I almost missed it. Throwing his door open, he ushered me in, before locking it behind us.“Tobias, what is going on here?” I demanded to know, as I saw him pacing in the living room. He looked frantic and he quite frankly really started to scare me. “I´ve got a letter, a few weeks ago.” He stopped in front of me, looking deeply into my eyes.I fretted at that information. “Well, that’s great for you, but no reason to drag me through the compound like a rag doll.” Toby pulled his hair, before walking brusquely into his bedroom, leaving me a little confused. Who am I kidding, I think he lost it.Ten seconds later, he came back, almost throwing a piece of paper at me. “It´s from our mother.” I stared at him dubiously, before laughing out loud. “Yeah, right. And I´m sure our founding fathers left a little present for you today, didn’t they?”But Tobias just clenched his jaw and gestured to the paper in my hands. “Read it.” Still staring at him in humor, I slowly unfolded it and lowered my gaze, to read the inconspicuous looking note. But my smile went smaller with every word I read, until it was non-existent. “It can’t be… She died. We were at her funeral…” I muttered quietly to myself.“She faked her death to get away from Marcus.” Tobias had his back towards me, his head tilted to the ground. “She´s alive.” I stared at my brother, not knowing what to reply. I haven’t been so confused in all my life and I had no idea how to express my feelings.I didn’t even know what I was feeling, so I read the note again. “Johnson?” I whispered, looking at my brother questionly.“Her maiden name.”“Are you sure…? Here stands that you should meet her at the train tracks at midnight. Did you…?” I asked him, glancing at him, unbelieving that something like that was happening to me.
My mother was alive…

“I did.” He managed to get through gritted teeth, his posture rigid.“It could have been an ambush! Someone could have framed you!”Throwing my worries at him, seemed like the best thing to do right now.“Don’t worry, I´m not stupid. It was her. And I am supposed to deliver her greetings to you and her eagerness to meet her grandson.” The last part he spat, sounding disgusted by it. “I want to meet her, too.” I exclaimed, overwhelmed. Being torn between excitement, to see her again, and resentment for her, since she left us alone with a monster, I fiddled with the piece of paper.Toby´s knuckles were turning white, he clenched them so hard. “No, you won’t.” “Of course I will!” I shouted, enraged. “She is my mother…” “You don’t get it!” Tobias screamed, turning around, striding towards me and grabbing my shoulders, shaking me hard. “You don’t fucking understand!”I pushed him away from me, frightened. I haven’t seen him as mad as he was now, in ages.
If ever.
Even his fit of rage, when he found out Eric had knocked me up, was a temper tantrum in comparison to this. “Tobias, stop!”He staggered away from me, burying his head in his hands. “You don’t understand.”I walked cautiously up to him, grabbing his arms. “What don’t I understand?” “It´s her. She is the one behind all this. She knows everything.” “Everything what, Toby?” I asked him, trying to get him to look at me, by grabbing his chin. “Simply everything. She knows about Tris and Eric, about you being pregnant. She even knows where we live. But Amy, you can’t tell anyone. Not even Eric. Especially not Eric.”Tobias ranted, looking up to the ceiling. “What can’t I tell him. Damnit Toby! Fucking tell me already!” Only when he heard me screaming at him, he looked into my eyes. Grey meeting blue. “She´s the one behind all the attacks. She´s the one to seek revenge. Our mother is the leader of the factionless rebels and she wants us by her side, as she aims to destroy the faction system.”....It was late at night and I was already in bed, as Eric arrived. He came into the bedroom, looking beat.“I hate this day. Too much damn work for me.” He muttered, as he undressed himself, neatly folding the items and placing them on a chair.He came towards me in only his boxers, his beautiful abs on display, looking at me with questioning eyes. “I haven’t seen you there at all. Where were you?”My hands, that were creaming my arms, faltered for a moment.“Oh, I was exhausted, so I came here to lay down.” I smiled weakly at him, trying to make my lie convincing.Technically, it wasn’t a lie. Not entirely. After Toby´s confession, my knees went so weak, I had to sit down, to avoid to fall onto the floor.“Are you feeling alright now?” Eric inquired, sounding concerned, which made me in return feel guilty.“Yeah, nothing a little rest won’t cure.”He laid down beside me, lightly tracing my arms, scrutinizing me. He reached the place, where Tobias had grabbed me and I flinched from the dull pain.Nothing escaped his sharp gaze, so he pulled himself up and guided my arm into the light. “Are those bruises?!” He hissed, glaring at me. “Who the hell did this?!”I ripped my arm away from him. “Could you be calm for once?!” I asked sarcastically, as his frown deepened. “I tripped and some guy grabbed my arms to prevent me from falling. No harm done.”Eric was perceptive as hell and I saw, that he didn’t really buy my story, so I got defensive. Not the best move with someone that could be considered a predator.“Is that so?” He murmured, still staring at me, as if trying to solve a puzzle.“Yes.” I answered, before turning away from him and the light on my nightstand off. And that was the first night, since I arrived at his flat, that I fell asleep with my back to the man that I love.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

There is one thing I learned over the last few weeks: Avoiding Eric is like trying to capture smoke with bare hands.Impossible.Since the night of initiation day, he didn’t let me out of his sight anymore, not even for a second. Everywhere I went, he was there, leaning against walls or trying to look busy as he talked to his subordinates.I felt seriously stalked, especially because I suspected he had someone in the control room watching me.I knew he tried to find out was I was up to, without having to ask me, since that always escalated quickly, causing him to leave the apartment angry and me being left behind in tears. So he stopped and tried a different approach.For a man who prides himself in his tactical skills, he was awful at being a spy. Or he was that obvious on purpose, that I wouldn’t suspect anything else he was thinking of doing.I just asked myself, why he thought I was planning something, because I didn’t. I would never search my mother out, not while being in my 36th week. Not even I was that stupid.Or maybe it was the fact, that I resembled a beached whale, while I waddled through the compound on aching feet.After a few almost face-plants, I had declared gravity as my biggest enemy, or maybe it was the uneven floor and all this shit. So I let Eric scheme, while at the same time planning the arrival of our little warrior.And boy, it wasn’t easy.Between breathing exercises, I should perform during birth, finishing the nursery and stocking up on baby stuff, like diapers, I had to handle my brooding husband.Not to mention finding a suitable name, the both of us liked. With an Abnegation sounding name, he would have it hard in dauntless, but I didn’t like the ones that were normal here and neither did Eric. So we experimented with a few , mostly shorter forms of conservative sounding names. Neither I, nor Toby have heard anything else from Evelyn and I was kind of glad of that. She only had told Tobias that she planned to overthrow the government, but she didn’t brief him further.For one, I was glad she didn’t. Because that would be something I couldn’t keep from Eric. And I wouldn’t. I would never betray him in that way.My brother had it way easier. He told Tris already everything, since she wouldn’t have to act on that information. And for that, I kind of detested him a little.On the other hand, I was really scared, to not know what my mother was planning behind closed doors, because it would affect the whole city.And therefore my baby. My head was constantly filled with these thoughts, I even started to dream about dark brown hair and blue eyes.And guns. All of this was making me restless and furthermore Eric agitated. It came to the point, where he was so mad, that one comment from the former candor initiate had him bursting.Obviously it wasn’t enough for that guy, that I saved his life once.He just had to gamble.And loose.He spend three days at the infirmary with a broken nose and a concussion and he was lucky Wayne and my brother were near. Toby, being the only one able to beat Eric in a fight, pulled him off the guy and restrained him.He knew full well why Eric was behaving like that, he wasn’t stupid. But still he insisted that I would keep this secret, until he´d figure a way out of this mess. But time was the only thing, Eric wouldn’t grant me. That’s why he came storming into the flat one afternoon, catching me totally of guard, since he was supposed to be in a meeting. He slammed the door so hard, that I dropped the book I was reading, while turning around so fast, I got whiplash. “Are you telling me what the hell is wrong with you, or should I spell it out for you?!” Eric marched in front of the couch, slamming his hand onto the coffee table, a piece of paper under his fingers. “What do you mean?” I asked innocently, buying my time, I tried to not freak out, as soon as I saw the paper.“Don’t give me that shit, Amy!” He growled, looking positively livid. His whole posture and the way, he was shacking in anger, was making me sick with worry.If he found out…“Come on, have a look at it.” He mocked me, but his next sentence was nothing but a hiss. “And let me tell you, everyone involved in that will die.” I felt my eyes widen, as my heartrate exhilarated. I tried really hard not to panic, but it was a futile attempt. My throat was closing and the only thing I could hear, was the fast beating of my heart inside my ears.That was, until a sharp pain in my belly made me hunch over and as I slung my arms around it, I felt something warm and wet running down my thighs. “Amy?!” Eric shouted, falling to his knees beside me, not daring to touch me. “What´s wrong?”I could hear the panic in his voice, but I closed my eyes and tried to breathe through the pain. As it abated a little, I turned towards him.“I´m having contractions. My water broke.”“What?” he bellowed, jumping to his feet. “But you´re four weeks early!”“For a former erudite, you aren’t the brightest match.” I clenched out through my teeth, too agitated by a new wave of pain, to comfort him.But as he went to heave me up, I slapped his hands away. “Stop the attitude! Let me carry you to the infirmary. I have to call me brother and we have to get down there as fast as possible. So stop bitching around!” He shouted at me, as he was running through the flat like a headless chicken, searching and scanning for all the things, that might come in handy. I got up slowly, supporting myself on the couch, as I stepped into the room and positioned myself in front of Eric, who once again tried to garb me. “We have to go!”As I successfully stopped him from manhandling me, I glared at him, sporting the same facial expression, he had, when someone pissed him off.And I was pissed off.“No, now you listen to me!” I hissed at him and his face showed nothing but surprise at my ferocious behavior.“I am 36 weeks, that means our child almost isn’t a preemie anymore and since he´s almost a pound heavier than other fetus at this time, he will be perfectly fine.And stop manhandling me! I am supposed to walk, it will speed everything up and let me tell you, there won’t be a need to hurry, since this birth will be slowly and painful. I´ve helped with a lot of births and I know what I´m talking about.Everything is fine and since you won’t be the person in excruciating pain for the next, let me guess, 13 hours, you don’t get to freak out, right now.”Eric was still stunned, starring at me as if I lost it.Maybe I had.As he still hadn’t moved 30 seconds after I was done speaking, I sighed.“Could you please be a darling and fetch me the overnight bag? I know I said we don’t have to hurry, but I would like to get there, before our baby comes.”That pulled him out of whatever was happening inside his head. Glaring at my patronizing tone, we disappeared into the bedroom and came back a few seconds later, with everything I had asked of him.Smiling in gratitude, I grabbed his elbow and we made our way to the infirmary, Eric still brooding besides me....I´ve been right. Like I told Eric, there wasn´t the slightest need to hurry. Adrian came an hour after we´d arrived, hurrying through the doors.I was already on the examination table, dressed in one of these awful gowns and he started right away. After a throughout and slightly embarrassing examination, he told me that my cervix was only opened for about an inch and that it would be the best for me to walk a little.So that’s what I did.For hours.Eric was following my every step like a lapdog, grumbling to himself, but at least he had offered me his sweatshirt, to cover myself up a little. As I hunched over after an especially vicious contraction, he stepped in front of me.“About earlier…” He started, making my heart speed up a little. “It wasn’t right to shout at you like that. If something happens to the both of you, it will be my fault.”Hearing the strain of self-loath in his voice, I grabbed his shoulders, running my hands up to his face and turning it, so he had to look at me.“Nothing will happen. Your brother is here, so don’t worry.” I smiled at him, before going on cautiously. “That paper… what was it about?”Eric rubbed his hands over his face and pressed them over his eyes. Sighing, he thought about, if it was appropriate to talk about that now.I knew him that well.“I thought back, to where all this shit started, Amy. And it was initiation day. So I went to the control room and let them check the recordings.”I closed my eyes. Why had my brother, who knew full well that everything we did was on camera, not thought about deleting the footage.“I saw him dragging you into his flat, Amy. And I saw you coming home with bruises. He will pay for that!” Eric declared fierce, his voice full of hatred.I froze, not knowing, what exactly he meant, so I stared at him in confusion.“Don´t look at me like that, Amy! I know he did something to you.”Blinking rapidly, I tried to understand what he was saying and suddenly something clicked inside my head.“You think Toby hits me?! You think he´s like my father!” I exclaimed, unbelieving that he would ever think something so vile.“Of course! Ever since that day you haven’t been yourself! You´re avoiding me, Four drags you through the whole compound and you always look at him with fearful eyes. I have no idea, how I could have missed this!” Eric shouted, raising his arms.“He would never, ever, do something like this to me!”“You don’t have to pretend anymore; I will handle it.” Eric declared, looking ready for manslaughter. “For fucks sake, Eric! He´s trying to protect me!” My mouth spewed out, before my brain could even register what I just said.I saw Eric going still, completely rigid, while I folded my arms over my head.

Stupid move, stupid, stupid…

“Protect you from who?” He asked, deadly calm.I paced the hallway, where we would´ve created a scene, no doubt, if it wasn’t the middle of the night.“Eric, I can’t….” I begged him, to drop it, but he knew he broke my resolve, so he pressed on.“Yes, you can and you will.” His calm demeanor scared me more, than his shouting, because I knew he was most deadly, when he was calculating. “You have ten seconds to tell me, before I go on a search for number boy and break every single bone in his body, until he tells me, what the hell is going on. So enlighten me, Amy.Who do you need protection from?” That was the moment of truth and I knew it. “Eric, promise me not to hate me, okay? We had nothing to do with any of this. I swear to you. You can’t condemn us for what she did.”I started to cry, seriously worried about the outcome of this.“Amy. Tell me now. Who.do.you.need.protection.from?!”Eric gritted through his clenched teeth, glaring at me. I shook my head, trying to blink the tears away. “My mother.”Admitting this with defeat, my whole body slumped, releasing the tension that has been there for weeks.“Your mother is dead.” Eric informed me, his facial expression showing nothing, expect a little apprehension.Without a doubt he was worrying for my mental stability.“No, she isn’t.” Hearing the seriousness in my voice, he turned to look at me, just scrutinizing me for more than a minute.As I saw the change in his posture, I knew he believed me and tried to connect the dots. In his erudite mind, the gears were turning. “Where is she…?” He started, but was interrupted by my scream of agony, as the worst contraction so far, hit me. “We have to go back. It´s starting!” I managed to rasp out.Eric was by my side in an instance, ushering me to the infirmary, where the real torture would take place....“Aaaand push!” Adrian told me for the thousandth time, or so it felt. It was 4.30 am and I was exhausted. I´ve been lying here for at least three and a half hours, going through immense pain, even after the stuff he injected me with.I pushed with all I had, until the contraction got weaker and I was finally able to breathe again.The intensity of each one had gained with time, going from painful to excruciating. And we weren´t even at the worst part yet.Not at all. Eric sat beside me, letting our argument go and holding my hand. I´ve already heard his crack for a few times, but being the tough guy he is, he never even made one sound of discomfort, while I was screaming in agony.He brushed my hair out of my sweat-slicken brow and the tears from my face. Always muttering words of comfort into my ear. “Amy, you will have to push harder, when the next contraction comes, okay? It won’t take long now.” Adrian said, as he sat in front of my most intimate parts, but all discomfort was long forgotten, mostly because of the pain.“I can’t.” I looked frantically from Adrian to Eric. “Please, it´s too much. I can’t handle it anymore.” Eric grabbed my head in his hands, while I just wanted to bury my face in his chest and sleep until it was over.“Look at me, Amy.” Searching for my gaze, he held it, as he spoke serious. “You´re not one to give up. And you won’t. Because your dauntless.And dauntless never give up.”As he searched for confirmation, that I understood him, I weakly nodded my head, before turning back to Adrian. “Okay.” So with the next contraction I pushed and pushed…Until I felt an indescribable pressure in my lower abdomen, causing me to push harder. “There is the head. Only one more time.” And I did.I pushed.Until Adrian rose up and a small scream sounded through the room. Eric pressed a lingering kiss to my forehead, before he stood up and walked over to Adrian, who was examining my baby. They were both hunched over, as one of the nurses did the same to me. I closed my eyes, feeling utterly exhausted. After a few minutes, Adrian was done and Eric walked over to me smiling softly, a little bundle in his arms.  He bowed down towards me and laid my son onto my exposed chest. I looked down at the little creature, that had quiet down and was now wiggling inside the blankets. I unwrapped him, to let him feel my skin, making us develop a bond.It was the moment, I met my firstborn, my son.And as I looked into his blue eyes, for the first time and into a scrunched up face, that resembled his father´s so much, I knew I lost my heart.I knew I would do everything I ever could to protect him from harm, no matter the price. Factions be damned, he would always come first. He and Eric.My little family. “Theo.” Eric breathed, admiring our little boy, the same way I did. He embraced us and kissed my forehead first, before repeating the gesture with our son.Eric looked into my eyes and for the first time, since I knew him, I saw raw, genuine happiness.“His name is Theo.”...Eric had let me rest for a few hours, as Theo snuggled up at me. He was 7 inches long and weighted more than 7.2 pound. A lot for a premature born baby and Adrian assured us, he was fully developed, so we could take him home with us the next day.My little boy was simply beautiful.I adored him the whole time, not wasting any with sleep. So my eyes were about to drop, as Eric finally decided to speak up. “How did you find out your mother was alive?” I looked up, to see him standing at the end of the hospital bed, his arms propped up onto its railing.Maybe it was my sleep deprived state or maybe I was just tired and needed his support, so I told him.“She send a letter.”“To you?” Eric inquired, thinking hard. As I shook my head, he huffed. “Of course. Your brother… Where is she now?”I lowered my head and bit my lip, avoiding to answer him. But he knew me too well.“So I take it, she´s factionless. A shame really, but no reason to be afraid of her like that.” Eric observed me and I could practically see him thinking.“You don’t understand it… She isn’t just any factionless, Eric.” I didn’t dare to look into his eyes, but I knew he would figure it out soon.“So she´s with the rebels.” He stated, but then, his face hardened.“Tell me what exactly do you know about them?” Tilting his head, Eric´s sharp gaze drilled holes into me.I could hear the accusation clear as day, so I looked up and glared at him. “I don’t know anything. Not to even mention that I would never betray you in such a way and you know it!”“But do I?” He asked, coming closer, not once averting his eyes.“Eric, stop accusing me, please. Just sit down and I will tell you everything I know. Even if it isn’t much.” I pleaded to him, too tired to do anything else.He remained standing, but gestured to me to start talking.So I did.“What you saw on tape, was the day Tobias told me he got a note, a few weeks before. He was to meet someone on the train tracks. It was signed with my mother´s name. Her maiden name. So he went.” I started, while looking at Theo, knowing his presence alone would protect me, if anything happened.“He meet our mother and she talked to him. Saying how she missed the both of us and how much she would like to get to know us more. Eric, she knew everything. That I was pregnant and living with you. She knew of Tris and our professions. Everything.That’s why Toby told me not to tell anyone. Someone is working with her and he assumes that it´s someone high ranking. That´s why he didn’t take it to the leaders. Because she would find out.”Eric was stoic, not showing any emotions. “There’s more to it.”I exhaled deeply, knowing this would be the last straw.“She´s the one leading them. And she wants us to join her.”Eric stood still for a long moment, before he looked at me, his eyes hard. “What you did,” He started, letting me know I wouldn’t like what was to come. “was lie to your husband and leader. You kept information that could be vital for our fight, to yourself, for weeks. What you did could be considered faction treason.” Eric´s voice was calm and deadly, so much so, that I almost missed their true meaning.“That´s not true!” I cried out, startling my newborn son, who started to cry.I immediately rocked him back and forth, humming lowly, while staring at my husband. “Eric, please. I would have told you if it was something vital. I know nothing of her tactics or their numbers. I have no idea where they hide or what they plan. I just know that my mother is alive and helping to lead them. I didn’t even spoke to her, nor did Toby again after the first time. I would never betray my family like that. Not you and especially not him.” Looking down at my son, who started to fall asleep again, there were a few stray tears falling down my face.I looked back up at Eric, who still seemed to contemplate my words.“She is your mother. So basically she is your family.” He baited me, knowing how I viewed our motto in this city. “You always say, family is more important than your faction, so tell me, why should I believe you?”“She may be my mother, but she´s not family. She left us, when I was four, to deal with a monster on our own, because she was too selfish to do anything about it. She didn’t call him out on his actions and she didn’t take us with her. She just up and left. So she died to me, the day she decided to save herself and leave us behind.”As I held his gaze, I saw the change in his posture, as he relaxed so slightly, you would have never guessed it, if you didn’t know him. “And what am I supposed to know? A lie by omission, is still a lie, so according to faction law, you have to be punished. What should I do about that?”Well, that’s the question of all questions. Faction before Blood?OrBlood before Faction? “It´s up to you. And I´ll take anything you have to give me.” I admitted, smiling at him through my tears, to let him know it would be okay.He shook his head rapidly, before rubbing his face. I´m sure, if Theo wouldn’t be here, he would have thrown things through the room.I even saw his hand twitching.“For fucks sake!” He murmured angrily, before storming to my side. Careful to not wake the, once again, peacefully sleeping infant, he bend down and captured my lips in a searing, almost punishing kiss. Our tongues intertwined, before he pulled back and bit my lip.Hard.“If you ever keep something like this from me again, I will lock you inside the apartment and you will never see sunlight again.” He growled lowly. I was in awe how he managed to show his anger and still don’t wake his son up. “And I will take him for a while. You seem like a bad influence.” Eric said, while stealing my baby away from me.I whined loudly at that, but I knew he was making fun of me.Sort of.  I dozed away from time to time, as Eric walked through the room, rocking Theo back and forth gently, as he spoke softly to him.It was quiet and relaxed for some time, until a faint knock sounded through the room. I looked up and saw my brother and Tris coming in, who was massive for 27 weeks. Tris went over to Eric, as Toby came towards me and caressed my face.“I just heard. Congratulations, A.” He beamed at me, before gazing lovingly at Tris. “I can’t wait for our little one to be here, too.”“I´m sure Tris will be thrilled to hear that.” I muttered sarcastically, making her laugh.Eric and Tris came over to me to us and he handed me Theo back. I gave him to Toby, who admired him for quite a while, with Tris by his side.As they were watching our son, Eric waved his hand through my hair and kissed my head, before turning to address Tobias.“Four, give Theo back to Amy, please. We have to talk.” At his nonchalant behavior, Toby raised one eyebrow, before looking at me. As I gazed at him guilty, I mouthed “I´m sorry” to him and he sighed in understanding. “Yeah, I guess I have to clear a few things up.” With that, he handed me my son, kissed Tris goodbye and followed Eric out the door. I stayed back with Tris, who grinned at me. “Theodore? A little Abnegation, don’t you think?”I laughed at that, knowing her choice of names wasn’t much better. I talked to her a long time, mostly about how adorable my baby was.But I was still worried.Worried for my brother and myself.  I was hoping that Eric would be reasonable, but I knew one thing for sure. He had chosen his Blood over his Faction.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

I was discharged the next day. I´d been asleep when Eric came back into the hospital room, late at night and only woke up in the morning. For the first seconds I was confused, because I didn’t know what had happened or where I was, but then I heard a little gurgling noise and looked to the chair in the corner. There was my husband, sitting relaxed with our boy in his arms.I smiled at the sight, sitting upright and holding out my arms. Knowing what I wanted, Eric rolled his eyes and got up, walking through the room. He handed me the little bundle of blankets and I unwrapped my son to feed him.After I had positioned him right, I turned to Eric and scrutinized him, nervously biting my lip.“How did it go yesterday? You were gone for so long…” I asked him carefully, while trying to find out, if he was still angry.But as usual his face portrayed nothing.Raising one eyebrow, he folded his arms behind his back, while watching me.He was always watching.“Let´s just say…” He started, coming closer. “He won’t be executed.”I blinked rapidly, trying to figure out, what exactly he meant.“And that´s something good?” Realizing how it sounded, I hurried to explain, what I was thinking. “I mean of course it´s good, but did something bad happen? What did he tell you?”Eric scoffed at me. “So I am supposed to tell you everything now, am I? Even if you failed to inform me of something, that could help us win against the rebels?”I knew he was right, of course he was, but being spoken to, like that, still didn’t feel good, so I lowered my head in shame.“I´m sorry, Eric. I wanted to tell you, but…”“Your brother told you not to, I know.” He interrupted my pitiful attempt to get his forgiveness. “He also lied to you.”My eyes shot up, glancing at my husband confused, I demanded to know what he was saying.“I´m saying, that your dear brother met your mother more than once. A few times actually. And he was able to get tactics and numbers.”Staring at him dubiously, I didn’t realize, that Theo stopped drinking. Eric gestured towards my chest.“He demands your attention.”Quickly, I looked down, seeing beautiful blue eyes staring back at me. Playing with his tiny fingers, he then grabbed one of mine with his little hand, before sucking on it. I smiled, looking back at Eric, who was watching the two of us.I extended my arm towards him and he took my hand and took a seat on the bed.“Does he know a location?” I asked Eric, torn between wanting the factionless to be defeated and at the same time, hoping to keep my mother safe.“Yes, there are several warehouses. They have a whole freaking compound to themselves. And a lot of guns. Where they´ve got them from, I have no idea, but we will have to attack soon. We will order a pre-emptive strike against them, before they attack dauntless.”Eric informed me, while keeping his watchful gaze on his son. “When…?” I rasped out. Eric saw my distress and caressed my face, pulling it towards his.As he leaned his forehead against mine, he was cautious of the infant between us. “As soon as possible. Within the week.” At this information, I closed my eyes, trying to hide my sorrow.I would lose my mother again. I know, I told Eric she wasn’t family and I understood, that it had to be done, but she was still my mother. Still the woman who gave me my live.But she was also the woman who left me and as I was staring at my son, I wondered, how she was ever able to do that.Because I couldn’t and I would never do something like that. No matter if Eric turned into a carbon-copy of my father, which I knew wouldn´t ever happen, I would never leave my child behind.“I´m sorry, Amy.” Eric told me, still embracing the two of us. I sighed, knowing he was genuine, I agreed.“It has to be done.”...We arrived home in the late afternoon. Adrian had come by earlier and cleared the two of us, so we were free to leave, after a nutrition-boost for my boy and an injection of healing serum for me.I was seriously glad for that, since everything still hurt. Being split in two isn’t a pleasant experience. On our way home, we had to stop several times, because people wanted to see the leaders baby.Eric being the patient person he is, not, snatched Theo out of my arms, after the third person came to look at him, knowing, no one would dare to do that with him.No one except for Max.Who we met.He was coming out of an emergency meeting, regarding the impending attack on the factionless. He stopped and congratulated us, making fun of my two men, as he observed, that Theo already looked, as if he´d mastered his father´s scowl. It made me laugh, because it certainly seemed like that, with the way he was sleeping, but Eric just gave his superior a deadpan stare.Typical.I pondered, because I hadn’t seen Eric scowl or even glare once, when Theo was near. Okay, maybe it was the fact that he was only a day old, but still.We were making progress. We arrived at our apartment after taking forever and I was beat. Walking still hurt, I was still sporting my pregnancy pounds and Eric carried Theo, so he couldn’t carry me.Even if I pretended to hate it, it was still nice to be carried around sometimes and Eric knew it.He was scary perspective.But I loved him for it.And I especially loved him for cocking dinner that night, while taking care of Theo. If he decided to end his leadership career, he would be the perfect houseman. But he didn’t appreciate my comment and I earned me a swat with the dish towel. I guess he was making his spanking threats true, so I had to be careful from now on.Or get pregnant again.
No, Amy! Too soon, much too soon…

So I admired my skilled husband from my seat on the couch, while I fed Theo, before burping him. After I was done with that, Eric came and picked him up, so I could avoid lifting heavy things.Not that my baby was heavy.Together we laid him down in his crib in the new nursery, both of us kissing his forehead, before turning on the baby phone and retreating back to the kitchen.We ate our dinner, talking about everything and nothing at once, just being ourselves, without the stress of the previous weeks.And I was thankful for that.I was thankful for my husband.For our little family....It was the middle of the night, a few days later, as loud crying woke me up. I groggily turned around, my hands searching for Eric, but his side of the bed was cold and empty.I shot up and looking around the room and saw, that he wasn’t anywhere in the bedroom and the bathroom light wasn’t on, too.So I turned on the light on my nightstand and walked over to our closet, throwing open the doors.His uniform was gone, the bulletproof one and I knew, where he went.
He didn’t even tell me he was leaving…
I stood there for a moment, unbelieving that he would do something like that, but the crying alerted me once again, that my son was calling for me, so I put on a robe and hurried over to the nursery.As I picked him up, I could already smell what was causing him to cry like that, so I laid him onto the changing table and put a new diaper on. After being done, I went to the bedroom, Theo in my arms, but a knock on the front door stopped me.There was definitely too much late-night action in my life and not the good sort. Opening the door, I came to face Tris, who was rubbing her belly, smiling lightly at me. I embraced her with one arm, before inviting her in.“I woke up and he was gone.” She told me lowly, making me huff.“Then I guess they planned this, because it was the same for me.” I busied myself with the pot for tea. With only one arm it wasn’t that easy. “I liked them better, when they hated each other. At least then they wouldn’t gang up on us.”Seeing me struggle, Tris made her way over and took hold of Theo, always supporting his head. I smiled gratefully at that.“I haven’t really had the chance yet, to hold my nephew.” Tris said, as she played with his little fingers, making me laugh.“If only he would ask you the question. You two have been together for too long, to not to be married.” Glancing at her, I put the teabags into the mugs. They would only have to brew a few minutes, since we both didn’t like tea so strong.Abnegation habit.Grabbing our mugs, after the tea was done, we went to sit down on the couch. Tris still held Theo, as she looked at me and shook her head.“Well, you don’t have to wait too long now, to really be able to call me sister.”It took a moment, before I understood, what she had said, but then I started squealing. Quietly of course.I didn’t want to frighten my baby.“He asked you?! When?!”
And that moron didn’t even tell me…
“A few days ago. He cooked dinner and when he made dessert, I knew he had something planned. But I didn’t knew what it was. He even went down onto one knee.” Tris beamed at me and I chuckled.“Definitely a better proposal than Eric´s. He just dragged me into his office and let me sign some shit.” At this, Tris scoffed, gently rubbing her huge belly. Being 28 weeks, she looked ready to burst, but she still had 12 weeks to go.Or something like that.“Of course he did. I doubt he even has one romantic bone in his body.”I clicked my tongue, mockingly glaring at her. “As if my brother is any better.”“Well, at least he asked.” We chatted for a while, both avoiding the topic we really wanted to talk about. But around three am, I was too tired to stay up any longer. So I grabbed Tris´ hand and pulled her into the bedroom. She laid down on my side, while I was on Eric´s, Theo on top of my chest.“Do you think they will be okay?” Tris whispered from beside me. I patted the bed a few times, before finding her hand and squeezing it gently.“I hope so. I really do.” All the while, Theo was once again soundly asleep and I envied him.For not being concerned.For being carefree.For having such a great father, who was at this moment fighting for his safety.So he could grow up in a city, without having to worry for food or shelter or being attacked on the streets......It was after 11 am the next morning and I was standing in the kitchen, cooking breakfast for Tris and me, after taking care of Theo, when the slamming of the front door startled me. I looked up, to see Eric coming in, followed by my brother, who had his left arm in a sling.Sighting him, Tris hurried over and embraced him, but I remained at the kitchen island, resting my hands on my hips.As Eric took in my stance, he knew he was in trouble, so he held up his hands, to stop my rant, that he was sure was to come.“Before you even start, I didn’t tell you, because you would have freaked out and I couldn’t risk that. Not when you had to take care of our son.”His little declaration enraged me. “So you kept this from me, because you thought I was incapable of handling stress and our son?!” I glared at him, but he once again just rolled his eyes.“No. Stop twisting my words. Look at them.” He gestured to my brother and Tris, who were whispering to each other in a loving embrace. “Why can’t you be glad, too, when I come home from something, that could have possibly killed me?”“Maybe because I´m too mad at you, that you would risk your life, then just being glad that you´re back.” Fretting at him, I walked over and kissed him passionately.“Still as crazy as ever.” He chuckled, before tilting my head back and deepening our kiss. “Shut up and tell me what the hell you were doing last night.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“I sneaked out, when you were asleep, because I didn´t want to worry you.” Eric started his story, addressing both, me and Tris. “We called everyone out for an emergency at 1 am, so all available soldiers were gathered in the pit. There we briefed them and gave the marching orders, always watching for suspicious activity. None of them knew beforehand what was happening, which was exactly how we had planned it.” He stated, looking awfully pleased with himself.“We moved out at 0200 sharp and arrived 45 minutes later at their main quarter. They didn’t expect us, so we had a huge advantage, because most of them were asleep and not armed. We had not just our normal guns, but also the stun guns, filled with sleeping drugs, so we wouldn’t have to shoot everyone.Just as we went into the warehouse, they gave alarm. But either way it was too late for them.” Eric shrugged his shoulders at that, while watching me.Tris had pulled away from Tobias, looking at Eric dubiously. “What the hell does that mean?!”Eric, being not in the least intimidated by the small woman with the huge bump, only rolled his eyes. “We put explosives everywhere and send them to hell. Way easier than to execute the lot of them after imprisoning them.”I took a step back, unbelieving, that what he just said was the truth. “Eric, there could have been children in there!” I hissed at him.From the corner of my eye, I saw Toby shaking his head exasperatedly. “He’s kidding. We would never do that. We went in and shot as many people with the drugs as possible, only using real bullets when inevitable.”I slapped Eric’s shoulder. He really ought to lay off these jokes, they were the reason, people thought he was a psychopath. “You bastard!”He just looked at me, without blinking.
It was scary.

“Nice to know what my wife thinks of me. I think I´ve earned her undying love and trust.” Eric said sarcastically, making me want to stick out my tongue at him. Not that I would do something as childish as that.
I totally did.

It cracked Eric up and he came over to me, to hug me to him.
Have I ever mentioned, how I love it, when he does that…?
“We could do some trust building exercises?” Smiling mockingly, I faltered, when I saw an evil glint flash through his eyes.“If you want to. We can totally go down to the chasm now and I´ll show you what trust means.” I gulped, knowing exactly what he meant. “Oh, love, that won’t be necessary. Your wife trusts you with all her heart. And you have to tell her what happened after that. The way Toby looks, there must have been a fight.”As he looked a lot annoyed and slightly amused, by my avoiding techniques, that were totally awesome, I let out a breath.
Crisis averted.
“Yeah, your brother was intelligent enough to get himself shot.”“Hey!” Toby shouted insulted. “I covered your ass, so show a little gratitude.”“I guess…” Eric answered, before turning at me and smirking. “If nothing else, knocking you up has in fact saved my ass. A few months ago, number boy over there, would have let me take the bullet and then would have danced on my grave afterwards.”“Well, I guess he´s right…” I heard my brother mumble from somewhere behind me.I looked from one, to the other, freaked out by their casual joking. “If you don’t tell me right now, who the fuck shot my man, so I can get out there and kill him with my bare hands, you both will be sorry!” Tris shouted, took a vase and hurled it against the wall, where it shattered into thousand pieces.
Hormones.

All three of us were staring at her, as if she´d gone mad and I waited anxiously for a cry to sound through the flat, but it didn’t come. I guess my boy was a heavy sleeper, like I used to be, before I came alerted to every single sound in our house. Always looking for the impending doom, I knew was to come.  “All right…” Eric trailed off, looking cautiously at Tris and taking a seat on the counter. “We got in there, while most of the factionless were still asleep, as were those, who got shot with the stunt guns. Then we cornered them in different rooms, to our best abilities, with the plans Four was able to sneak out. The two of us and a few of our best soldiers then went to the leader quarters, where were more guards stationed and we had to kill a few of them, to get in there.”Eric stopped talking, as I handed him a coffee, knowing he´d need it to get through the day and looked over to my brother, who was thoughtfully fiddling with the straps of his sling. “So you found them?” Meeting his gaze, he knew, who I was talking about.“Yeah, we did.” Tobias exhaled deeply, biting the inside of his cheek. “Evelyn was still awake and in what seemed like a meeting with one of her commanders, or what the hell they call them.”As Eric saw my questioning expression, he took mercy on me. “We got her in custody. Down in the cells. But the other guy was able to shoot Four, luckily only hit his shoulder. We´ve got him, too, since he seemed important. But not enough to get real gun training, the way he held his handgun.”
She was still alive and somewhere here in the compound. The woman I thought dead for 16 years…
“What will happen to them?” Tris inquired, watching her fiancé with sympathetic eyes.“They´ll face trial in candor.” He replied, taking her hand. “And all the factions will decide together, since it was a major threat to the whole faction system.” Stepping in between Eric´s legs, he slung one of his arms around my waist and I sagged against him, as he supported my weight. “What will happen to them?”“As of faction law, it´s either exile or execution. Since there are so many of them, I don’t know yet, but the important ones will be injected with the truth serum at their trial.” Eric said, being the best informed out of us. “Amity and Abnegation will vote for exile, while Dauntless and Erudite will demand execution, so it will be on Candor to decide their fate.” I observed, not knowing if that was good or bad. They were supposed to be the most suitable ones for that, but I don’t know… I turned my face, so it was only inches away from Eric’s and looked deeply into his eyes. “Do you think I can see her?”“Absolutely not.” His voice was as hard and cold, as his eyes and I found myself pleading with him.“Only five minutes, Eric, please! I haven’t seen her in 16 years and if she´s…I just want to say goodbye to her…” I buried my face in his chest, as I started to tear up. I didn’t want this to happen like that. And I wanted to see her for a last time. There was one question I had to ask her.“Eric…” I heard my brother from behind him. “She deserves it.” “You damn stiffs.” Eric cursed under his breath, before grabbing my chin and lifting my head up, so he could see my tear stricken face.“Theo stays with me. You have five minutes. Not one second more.”...The first thing I realized, as I was walking to the holding cells, that were located far under the pit, at least seven stories, was, that it was cold.Really cold.I even could see my breath forming little clouds in front of me, as I walked down seemingly endless flights of stairs. At the end of the last one was a metal door, only accessible with a special card. The guard in front of me, that had orders from Eric himself, hold his against the scanner, successfully unlocking it. I stepped through the door and the air got slightly warmer, but it was still freezing, as the guy led me through rows and rows of steel doors, all holding a little window, showing the captives. Every single one of them looked like they´ve been captured last night, as roughed up as they were, so I guess that they were all part of the factionless rebels.The guard finally stopped in front of one of the doors in the back and started to unlock it.“You have five minutes.” He informed me passively, holding the door open. I hesitated for a second. Thinking if this was really what I wanted, but I knew I had to face my mother, otherwise I would forever regret it.So I summoned all the courage I could and stepped through the door. The cell was sparsely equipped, only a simple metal bed, screwed to the floor, with a thin blanket on top of it, a facet and a toilet in the corner. The walls were all as dark, as the stone our whole compound was built of and the light came from a single fluorescent tube, that shone bright, but cold. And there, on the uncomfortable bed sitting, her almost black hair going down to her waist and deep blue eyes looking up at me, was my mother.She looked like I remembered her, only thinner, a little older and a lot less bruised. “Amelia, is that you?” She breathed, before standing up and rushing over to me, holding out her arms.But I shied away from her embrace.Noticing my reaction, she let her arms fall to her sides and smiled somehow regretfully.“Mother.” I acknowledged her, almost flinching myself, because of my cold voice.“You´ve become a beautiful young woman. The only flaw you ever had were your eyes. The same colour as your fathers.”She tilted her head and took all of me in. “Don´t call him that! He never acted like one, so I won’t grand him that title. Not now, that I know, how a real father should treat his child.” I exclaimed, being hurt by her statement. The first thing she said to me, after 16 years was, that I resembled my father. “You are right. I´m sorry, my dear.” Evelyn smiled at me. “I believe congratulations are in order. My daughter having her own baby. I wish I could meet him, but under the circumstances…” She trailed off, before taking my hand.“I know you have a lot of questions…”  I interrupted her, being fed up by her attempts at appeasing me.“Oh, do you? I mean sure.
Let´s start.
But where? Maybe why you left us with an abusive bastard, left us behind, in a house, where we could have died.Or shall we speak about all the time I thought you were dead, but you were really much alive?Why you never told us or how you wanted us to betray our faction, our family the moment we were free of him?If you´d asked me in the 18 years I was living in hell, I would have followed you without looking back once and I´m sure, Toby would have done the same. But to come here, to destroy the life, we had to fight so hard for, that is something I can’t forgive you.” Evelyn sighed deeply, before looking at my chest and smiling. “I know, you´re mad at me and you have every right to be, but I did everything I ever did, to protect you. Living the life, I was living, was not something I wished for any of my children. At least the two of you were warm in the winter and had enough food to survive.You have no idea what they would have done out there, with such a beautiful, young woman like you and I pray, you´ll never find out.” She took a step towards me, raising her hand and pulling the necklace out of my sweatshirt.She looked down at the locket, the one I had left at Eric’s apartment and only recently started to wear again, and smiled melancholic.“This was your late grandmother´s, I always loved it and I see you hold it dearly, too.” I looked at the woman in front of me, the one I shared most of my appearance with, the one who smuggled orange juice into our home and suddenly, I felt it.All the years of suppressed pain, when I was thinking of her.Every memory that sliced my heart like shards of glass.And I knew that eventhough she did all these unspeakable things, she was still my mother and I loved her.I would always miss her.Or at least the woman she used to be. Or maybe it was the little girl, I missed. The one that was painfully unaware, of what was expiring behind closed doors in that grey house.In her grey life.Where there was no good or bad, only in between.Where no one was focused on themselves, as they blurred, as they lost themselves.By turning away from their reflections, they really disappeared, fading into the shadows, that surrounded them.By choosing not to hear one of their owns crying, they managed to turn her world from grey to black.Her despair, her pleading for someone to come rescue her.And none of them could see it. Not until her blood was sizzling on burning coals. Not until she defied her father, defied her destiny and defied the laws of this fucked up society. Not until she chose to change from grey to black, chose to be brave, instead of selfless and chose to rescue herself, instead of relying on others to escape her personal hell.  And in a cell, hundreds of feet under the surface of this city in ruins, one of the only stains of colour in her once grey life, was brushing away the tears, that after all this time, managed to fight their way out.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Three days after the visit to my mother, that was abruptly ended, by the guard who told me that the time was up, the trials were hold at the candor headquarters.News of the raid in the factionless sector, traveled fast and at this time, every single soul inside the fence knew what had happened.Knew, that the wife of the leader of their government, planned to overthrow the system. Knew that her son and son-in-law were the ones, to capture her and bring her to justice.Like I said, news travel fast. Eric didn’t want me at the trials, but there was no way in hell, I wouldn’t watch my mother´s. Her fate wasn’t insignificant to me, even if she committed treason.The only problem was, that I couldn’t bring Theo with me. Not to the hearing and certainly not to the execution, that I was sure, was to follow. Since Tris would accompany my brother, even if he was adamant, she wouldn’t, I had to go on the search for a babysitter.And I found one.Christina.She already knew of my predicament, coming towards me in the hallway with a newfound swing in her steps, stating she was the perfect fit for the job, since she hadn’t really had any alone time with her nephew and she craved it.Knowing of her erratic moods, I only accepted, when she told me, Will would join her.His erudite brain should be able to calculate, what would happen to the both of them, if something happened to my baby.And I´m not talking about, what Eric would do. They would be lucky, if he´d find them, before I do.The death by his hands would be fast, but I would make it hurt.A lot.After they had confirmed, that they indeed knew, what they were doing and what impended, if my baby would get hurt, I made my way to the train station for the first time in over seven months.I just hope that I still know, how to jump on. They say it´s like driving a car, you can’t forget it, but since I never really have driven one, I can’t compare. But I know, I made it on the train safely. Eric had been in candor for hours, preparing everything and talking to the other leaders.Tedious stuff. The train ride took the better of twenty minutes and once I reached a patch of grass, I jumped. Walking over the stone plates, that made out, what they called merciless mart, I made my way to the expressive building, completly out of glass. As I went through the doors, my first impression was that they certainly liked to gloat. The whole foyer was made of black marble, only their symbol, the unbalanced scale, was out of white marble. The glass symbolized the see-through-ness, their honesty.Which can, in certain situations, deeply wound you.I knew that words could cut deeper into your soul, than a belt could ever in your back, so I stayed wary of them, who were hurrying through the compound, dressed in their immaculate pantsuits and dress shoes or in high heels, a few of the dauntless broke their ankles with, in our dark corridors.Eric gave me the directions to the interrogation room, before he left and as I made my way over to the elevators, I was met by none other than Caleb Prior and Jeanine Matthews, who were on their way up, too, I was sure. Caleb was the one to spot me first and he was happy to do so, judging from the huge grin on his face. His leader stayed impassive, as always, just watching and analyzing. “I believe congratulations are in order, even if we take into consideration, why we are meeting here today.” Jeanine stated and hold out her hand. I took it, out of politeness.“Yes, thank you.” My fake smile didn’t reach my eyes.I know, she knows, that it´s my mother’s trial. She knows everything. Caleb gave me a small hug, instead of one of his bear hugs, no doubt because of the woman standing beside him.“Congratulations, A. He´ll be a beast.” I chuckled at that, knowing, it was true.“He certainly will be, as a dauntless born.” The elevator appeared with a loud ding, opening its doors. We let the people in there get out first, before we made our way in. A lot of members from different factions, dressed in different colours, followed us, so we were standing there, cramped. “A shame, really. How an erudite born with the possibility of reaching great goals can become the leader of a badge of savages. But I guess her fate was sealed, when she joined Abnegation and then later faked her death.” Jeanine stated, as she readjusted the flawless collar of her elegant jacket.I looked inquisitively at Caleb, who just shrugged his shoulders.“Uhm, who are you talking about?” I asked, not really sure, if I wanted to know.“Your mother, Amy. I´m sure you know she was an erudite born?”Her words left me dumbfounded and judging her pleased expression, it was exactly what she aimed to achieve. Seeing my confusion, she went on, making it even worse.“Then I guess you didn’t knew that your father is a former candor, either? I guess he´ll be happy to be back here, today.”“He´s here?” I croaked, knowing this day would be hellish.“Of course he is. He is after all the head of our government.” Jeanine seemingly reveled in my unknowingness and smiled gleefully.From beside me, I felt Caleb reach for my hand, squeezing it slightly, before letting go again. 
My mother was erudite and my father was candor… Ironic for someone who had always hidden the truth…

All these things were fucking with my mind and I felt a headache developing. Massaging my temples, I was glad when the doors finally opened and we poured out into the highest story of the building.The walls of the interrogation room were completely made of glass, signifying what would happen here.
Truth always finds a way.
 I stepped into the room and searched for Eric. I met his gaze and he smiled lightly, before pointing to a place at my right, where my brother was sitting with Tris. I knew, Eric had to stay with the other leaders, so I made my way over to the both of them.Sitting down beside Tobias, I was still thinking about what Jeanine told me.He nudged me lightly with his elbow, looking concerned.“Is everything alright, Amy?”I rubbed my forehead, not knowing what to reply. “Yeah, just had an informative talk with Jeanine Matthews.”At the mention of her name, he looked even more concerned, while Tris huffed and something muttered that sounded like “Awful witch.” “She told me that Evelyn came from erudite, while Marcus is from candor…” I told them quietly. Toby´s eyes bulged out at that.“Seriously?! She´s certainly not smart, when she´s sitting here and he is the epitome of deceit.”“At least now we know, why he is able to hide his true nature to such an extent.” I replied, but was shushed, like everyone else, by Jack Kang, who came onto the stage in his white suit and black dress shirt. “I want to welcome all of you today, since you are here to seek the truth.
´Dishonesty is rampant, Dishonesty is temporary, Dishonesty makes evil possible.´

(1)

Therefore, we will inject all suspects today with our truth serum. They are accused of the conspire against our five factions, while hording weapons to start a war against the system, that keeps us all alive.We will judge them, according to their crimes, after they have confessed under the influence of our serum. Then the five factions as a whole will decide as one, for the first time in our history, what will happen to all the traitors.Execution or exile.May the truth set them free.”And all of his faction members answered him, while the rest of us was sitting there, watching how everything expired before our eyes.
"Truth makes us transparent. Truth makes us strong. Truth makes us inextricable."

(1)

The first few trials didn’t take long. Most of them were lower in the ranking system of the factionless and they didn’t know much. A few of their darkest secrets, they had to confess at the end, made my skin crawl.
Maybe mother wasn’t that wrong to leave us behind with him…

I was spacing out a lot of the time, as the factionless made their confessions, but after the better of three hours, arising whispers grabbed my attention and I raised my gaze, to see the black haired woman, I didn’t know whether I should call mother, or not.She was brought in, in shackles, like the rest of them, but her aura of superiority and the knowledge, that this was the wife of their head leader, which was presumed to be dead, made the audience murmur.They knew who she was and what she did.They just wanted to know why…
Oh, no…

“Tobias!” I whispered urgently, but he shushed me, wanting to not miss a word. I yanked on his sweater.“Amy, stop it!” He hissed, glaring at me. So I sat back, anxiously waiting for what was to come.
Truth always finds a way.
 On the plateau, my mother was injected with the truth serum, wincing, as the needle pierced the soft skin on her neck.Jack stepped forward, face impassive, to lead the interrogation.“State your name and your origin.”My mother closed her eyes, looking slightly pained.From the serum, I was sure.“Evelyn Johnson-Eaton. Former Erudite, then Abnegation, now factionless. I have two children, Amelia and Tobias.”She reported keeping her eyes closed.“You are the leader of the factionless. Is that correct?” Jack raised his eyebrows.“Yes, I am their leader.” Evelyn stated, turning her head and smirking at Marcus, who tried hard to keep a passive face. After all, the whole room was full of people, who were able to read faces like open books.She was scrutinized from everyone, as he asked the next question.“And you planned to overthrow the faction system? Why did you wanted to do that?” “Because,” Evelyn squeezed out, seeming reluctant to answer, but forced. “you deserve it. All of you. Being judged if you don’t fit into one category, you follow a leader, who is supposed to be selfless, but is everything but. He is the prime example of the corruptness of this whole system!”I looked over to my father, whose face was slightly redder than at the beginning, but he was still holding on, while from everywhere murmurs erupted.“Quiet!” Kang demanded, before turning back to my mother. “I understand it, that you faked your death, to join the factionless, while being married to Marcus Eaton. Why did you feel the need to do so and how did you do it?” At that she laughed, right in his face.“Because he would have never let me leave. He would have killed me himself, before admitting, that he couldn’t keep his own wife. So I faked my suicide with the help of Natalie Prior and Catherine Black. They didn’t know what expired in this house, but they guessed enough and being the selfless women they are, they helped me, without a single question.” Both mine and Tobias´ head whipped to Tris, who stared back, wide eyed.I was so enthralled by this information, that I almost missed the next question.“What do you exactly mean with expiring? What happened to you?” Evelyn started to laugh.Loudly.And all the faces stared back at her in confusion, but I lowered mine in defeat.
Truth always finds a way.
“You want to know what happened?” She was still chuckling and Jack looked at her suspiciously. “Well, then let me tell you. My dear husband over there has an obsession with his belt. No, not with wearing it. That would be to selfish. It´s just because it leaves lovely scars at one´s back.”I felt Tobias going rigid at my side, not moving, not even breathing.
I had tried to warn him, but he wouldn’t listen…
 The whole room went dead quiet and my father looked ready to strangle her, as I met Eric´s gaze from across the room. He looked regretful and concerned, so I just shrugged my shoulders.He couldn’t do anything about it now. The cat was out of the bag and wouldn’t go back in, either. “So you are telling me your husband, Marcus Eaton hit you? With a belt?” Kang asked, looking as shocked, as everyone else.Everyone except a blond woman in the front, who smiled smugly, knowing she just gained a lot more of power. “Oh, not just me, but also his own children.” She looked over at us, smiling regretfully, as everyone turned around to stare at the two of us.I squared my shoulders, looking right ahead, while grabbing Toby´s hand. He glared at them, making them turn around to face the stage, as fast, as they had turned towards us. 
#Rule number one for dauntless: Never show weakness and never admit defeat.
 Eric was rubbing his jaw and the other leaders were looking between the members of my dysfunctional family, analyzing, thinking.
Great, just great…
 “She is a liar and obviously gone nuts, so don’t believe one word she says.” Marcus gritted through clenched teeth, still trying to keep up his appearances.“We both now, who is the liar between the two of us, you bastard!” My mother screeched, looking ready to murder him, but Kang went to interfere. But he couldn’t stop the truth from coming out.Like a tsunami it washed trough the room. “Don’t you ever think I didn’t watch you! I always saw my son limping home, after you beat him so severe, I am sure you can still see the scars! Or how you started to beat Amelia, when she turned six! Your own daughter!I also know that you locked them inside the closet, for days on end, until I thought you had finally killed them!And I couldn’t take them with me. Not to the factionless. You heard what they would have done to my daughter, so don’t hold that against me. Even though I left the both of them, with a vile person, I knew he had to keep appearances, so they would be fine.When they´d finally get to choose, they could escape this hell.But I wouldn’t have. He would have killed me, if he´d find out. I couldn’t stay there any longer with a husband, that beat me every day. If I´d stayed, he would have killed me, because I was pregnant with another man´s child”...I don’t know how I got out of there, but I somehow did. I was now standing outside in the drizzle, that was so typical for this time of the year. I must have looked like some insane person, pacing in front of the candor headquarters, running my hands through my now wet hair.At some point, I couldn’t hold the chuckle in any longer, that threatened to make its way out of my throat for quiet some time now. I knew, I was hysterical, but I couldn’t stop it.
Truth always finds a way and the bastard will get what he deserves.
 That’s how Eric found me a few minutes later, in hysterics and completely wet, from the rain that had gained intensity. He came close to me and like always, in these situation, he pulled me into his arms.And like always, his strength and the security he was emanating, managed to calm me down instantly.“If I´d known how that turns out, I would have requested the hearing to be closed.” He murmured into my soaked hair and I chuckled.“Why? Don’t want to broadcast your wife´s tale of woe over the whole city and tell them what a fuck up her family is?” My sarcastic remark made him scowl and growl at me. “Our family is not fucked up. Maybe a little if you count number boy, but who does these days?” He mocked me, but I was grateful, that he´d corrected me, before. Because my family may be fucked up, but our family was perfect. And it didn’t take me to know that, till I was standing soaked in front of candor, embraced by my husband, after my rebel mother had exposed my abusive father to the whole city. No, I have known it since the first time, I heard my baby´s heartbeat in that examination room, so many months before.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

After a few minutes, Eric told me that he had to get back in there and I decided to do the same. I knew that it probably wasn’t the best decision right now, but my mother was going to be charged and my brother was up there as well.It was the brave thing to do and even though I knew, Eric wouldn’t think any less of me, if I went home right now, he would frown upon it, instead of being proud, that I faced my fear.I don’t really have a choice.Being drenched from the rain and because candor wasn’t known for its warmth, I started to shiver. I had left my jacket upstairs, as I hurried out of the room, resulting in my shirt being soaked, while my husband was a little smarter than I am and wore his waterproof jacket.He always is. We were inside the elevator, alone this time. Eric sighed, looking over at me and started to pull of his sweatshirt.“Take your shirt off.” He demanded.“Excuse me? This isn’t really the appropriate time for…” I exclaimed, but Eric interrupted me by pulling my shirt off himself. He had a lot of practice, so it didn’t take long.As I started to protest and cover my modesty with my arms, he pulled his dry sweatshirt over my head, effectively trapping my arms by my side. Grudgingly, I freed myself and put my arms into the sleeves“I´m still awed, that you think I´m some kind of crazy Sex monster. I mean come on, we´re in an elevator in the middle of candor with all the leaders a few stories above us. That’s not a huge turn on, princess.”Eric chuckled, while I raised my eyebrows at him, as always disagreeing. “If I remember it right, we had Sex in a janitor’s closet, while the initiates threw knives less than 10 feet away. Not to mention, that my brother was overseeing training and I could hear him grumble, how pissed he was, that you left him with these idiots on his own.”Eric laughed out loud, his face contorted as if he was reliving the memory.
Seems like he loved it…

“Oh that… That’s something we can repeat anytime you want, love.” With a quick, but passionate kiss and a wink, he pulled me out of the now open elevator, back to the interrogation room.We parted ways at the entrance, but not before he kissed my head and glared at anyone, that was looking at me in a strange way.So I stayed there, fiddling with the too long sleeves of my giant sweater, not wanting to draw attention to myself, by making my way back to my old seat, always being near the exit.You never know, when you have to bolt for it. The crowd looked outraged, there were people screaming everywhere, and Jack Kang wasn’t able to get them back under control.I felt a surge of cold air hit me and I pulled Eric’s sweater closer to me, just as a loud gunshot echoed through the room.Everyone went deadly quiet, turning their heads to the source of it and there he was.My husband.Standing in front of the open window, gun raised into the air. As everyone was just staring at him, not making one sound, he calmly put the safety back on and put the gun into its holder.“It´d be nice, if you would shut the fuck up, so we can get this over and done with. I don’t know about you, but I have a shitload of work to do, so you either sit your asses down and listen to Jack, or you´ll be my next target for shooting practice, do you understand?” Eric stood there in a military pose, feet shoulder wide open and hands folded behind his back. No one met his challenging gaze, as it wandered over the people, so he smiled slightly.“Good. Feel free to go on.” He addressed Kang, who nodded back at him, but didn’t seem really convinced by his methods.
My little psychopath…
 “I know you are outraged by what you heard, but be assured, we will do everything in our power to investigate this further.” His gaze wandered through the room, first staying on Tobias, who still looked as shocked, as he did when everything came out, before swaying it to me.I looked right back, trying not to show any emotions, only portraying the mask I learned to wear so long ago.“We have heard everything there is and will now deliberate over the penalty in private. Since this will take a few hours, feel free to visit our canteen. We will ring the bell three times, when we are ready to declare our decision.”With that he dismissed us and the people started to stream towards the doors, weary of me, as I was standing there, unmoving. I stayed behind, waiting for my brother, while Eric smiled at me, before disappearing with the other leaders through an adjoining door near the platform. The last people had trickled out and the only remaining were my brother, who was sitting with his head in his hands, and Tris, by his side. It looked, like she was trying to convince him of something, as she intensely talked to him.I slowly made my way over, running my hand through his hair. Tobias sighed, as Tris looked up to me.“Would you please bring us something from the canteen? If it´s not too much to ask.” I gave Tris a meaningful look and she understood.“Not at all.” She smiled at me, before kissing Toby´s cheek and leaving the room. I waited, until she was too far away to hear anything, before I turned to my brother.“Well that turned out nicely, huh?” My attempt at humor was met with a deadpan stare.“You don’t say.” He sassed, pulling me to the bench and laying his head on my shoulder.Tobias exhaled deeply and I could tell from his lack of composure, that he was exhausted. That’s why I send Tris away, because I knew he would never let her see him, this weak. He could only show this side to me, since we shared the worst moments of our lives.Except that mine got worse, when he was away.A trouble shared, was a trouble halved, or so they say. “Are you alright?” I asked him softly. He got off my shoulder and rubbed his face, before pulling his hair. A sign that always showed his distress.“Why shouldn’t I? I mean it´s not as if someone just told the biggest smart mouths in this city about how we were beaten by our father, or how our mother got pregnant with another man’s baby. Not much to worry about right?”He chuckled humorless, shaking his head in disbelief.“At least he´ll get what he deserves now…” I trailed off, as I felt Toby´s heated gaze on my face.“And we are paying the price. You don’t know the dauntless as well as I do, Amy. They will see this as a sign of weakness. And they detest it. They are like bloodhounds, triggered by blood. And they will be after it.There´s nothing we can do.”I rolled my eyes at his dramatics. “Calm down for a second, okay? Just because they know, will make no difference in our lives, Toby. Of course they will gossip. Half of them are too stupid to form a whole sentence without the words gun, fight or fuck in it. Let them talk.In a month this will all be water down the river. No one will care anymore and if they harass you, just punch them. You could kill half of them with one arm, so do it dauntless style.”His gaze was questioning, as he watched my outburst, clearly thinking about what I had to say.“So you want me to beat anyone who was to say something about this topic?”“No. Only if they say something stupid. Make an example of them.”Tobias stared at me with a strange expression, before bursting into laughter. Now it was my turn to stare.“How could I never see how perfect you and Eric are for each other?” He rasped out, holding his belly as if he was in pain. “An example, really?”“Of course.” I stated. “It´s the easiest way to shut them up.” Feeling the need to defend myself, I frowned at him.Still chuckling, my brother pulled me into him and slung his arm over my shoulder, guiding me out the room. “Let´s go find Tris, before you feel the irrepressible need to beat someone to a pulp.”...We found Tris sitting on a table, stuffing her face with the famous ice cream, and spent more than four hours waiting for the leaders to call us back.There was only one thing.Toby had been right.I was ready to hit people.Not only did the dauntless look kind of wary, but I could hear the candors gossiping, whilethe amity talked about how sorry they were and the erudite just smiled their slimy smiles. And the wort thing was, that I was missing my baby. I haven’t been separated this long from Theo, since his birth and the urge or instinct or what the hell it was, to make sure he was safe, grew worse with every second. I was getting restless and agitated.Not a good mixture, since I didn’t want to blow up here.I knew that Toby wouldn’t have it as easy as I would. He was supposed to be the strong one, so they would shame him for deflecting to dauntless, just to escape our father. Plus, I had Eric. And no one wanted to mess with him. So they wouldn’t mess with me. Not if they wanted to avoid Kayla’s faith.Just a reminder, it´s the bitch that pushed me down the stairs. A few minutes, after the bell had rung, everyone was once again inside the interrogation room.The leaders stood united on the platform, facing the lot of us. The prisoners were back in the holding cells, where they had been transferred to, from dauntless. “I am standing here in front of you, to announce our decision. But before we do so, we have a scientist from erudite inform you of one of their newest inventions.” Johanna Reyes spoke up, no doubt taking up my father’s place, who wasn’t seen anywhere nearby. I pondered, about what they did with him, now that they knew of the abuse, as said scientist came up. He looked like your typical nose. Skinny and pale from the lack of sunlight and exercises, medium long brown hair, a blue suit and the fake glasses.He looked quite smug with himself, to present his invention in front of his idol. Obviously Jeanine. “What we have here is hard to explain to those, who haven’t studied the usual technical devices, we use nowadays, but either way, I will try to explain it, so even you can understand this.”Yep, alone his first sentence made me want to punch him and I could see Eric cracking his knuckles behind the man’s back. Hearing that, the nose paled and looked behind him, to turn around again instantly. “However,” he hurried on, this time without the pretentiousness and hold up something that looked like a tiny bullet. “This thing here can be implanted in any human body, close to a major artery. If triggered, the metal rods, that are slung around said artery, will pull and with enough force, they are able to destroy it, making them bleed out internally in minutes.” Every single soul in the room was staring at him with wide eyes, after this declaration.
Damn… what were they inventing in their damn labs?!
 “Thanks to these great devices, we have found a suitable solution for the rebels. Every single one of them, which we will make out in further questioning, will get implanted one of these. Then they will be deported out of the city by the dauntless, beyond the amity farms and beyond the X-zone. There they will be freed, everyone stacked with a small care package, including seeds to farm, to fend for themselves.Once activated, the implants will go off, if they come within a two-mile radius to the X-zone, as monitored and programmed by the erudite.There won’t be any executions and the deportation will take place in 7 days. Thank you for your regard.” Johanna informed us, before dismissing the meeting. All around me, the faction members were starting to discuss (candor), analyze (erudite), agree (amity) and disagree (dauntless), while some stayed silent (abnegation). “I don’t even wanna know what else they have, behind closed doors.” Toby mutters, before slinging his arm around Tris. “Let´s go.”I followed them, before furrowing my brow in thought. “Hey, Tris? How the hell did you get here? I hope you don’t think about riding the train?” “As if.” She scoffed.“And damn right so.” My brother piped up, fretting at his fiancé. “I had to bribe Eric to get one of those damn cars.”“How did you do that? I tried that for months! When I mentioned it, he just told me to stay at the compound.” Pouting at him, he just chuckled.“Theo has earned the right to spent one night with us. But don’t even think about telling me what the hell you are planning to do.Just know, it´s too early to have another nephew on the way, so at least be cautious.”The first one was news for me, but I didn’t want to hear the rest, so I started to hum loudly, while covering my ears. As I got into the sleek, black car, that would bring us back to dauntless and to my baby, I was kind of getting exited for the night alone with my husband, that was to come in the following weeks....But my excitement didn’t last for long, quenched through the strange looks and snickers, me and Tobias were attracting, as we made our way through the compound.And as we went to have dinner at the mess hall, I finally had enough of them.Like I said. News travel fast. So it was obvious, that everyone inside knew. They went quiet, as soon as we stepped into the mess hall and I shifted Theo´s weight in my arms, getting uncomfortable. Ignoring the lot of them, I made my way to the leader table, where we were joined by Uriah, like usual, but this time, also by my brother and Tris.“I see you found your way to leadership, despite declining all the time, Four.” Max joked, making Eric roll his eyes and me chuckle.My brother diverted his eyes, before huffing. “There always is a reason and I´m sure now you can think of mine.”I clicked my tongue, being annoyed with that declaration.My brother. Always playing the blame game. “Stop talking shit Toby. Everyone knows you’re a lot better than that.” Glaring at me, he opened his mouth, no doubt to deepen the sibling fight, but was interrupted my none other, than my arriving husband, that slammed the tray onto the table. “If you would all calm down for a second, then maybe we could take about the fact that the chief tree hugger got us to pack a care package for these little shits, like for an elementary schooler. The only thing I care about is a bullet between their eyes.”I glanced over at him, noticing how annoyed he seemed by all this shit.“Do I have to remind you that one of those shits, is in fact, your mother-in-law?” As he clenched his jaw, I knew better than to taunt him further.“Funny.” He gritted out, before taking a huge bite out of his steak.  After our little quarrel, the conversation started to flow easier. The leaders informed us, that in fact erudite had voted against execution, while candor and dauntless demanded one. They were pretty outraged by that and voiced it clearly. All the while I was playing with Theo’s little fingers, while Uriah made funny faces, making him smile. And let me tell you, it was adorable. Marcus on the other hand, had been taking into custody for further questioning. Since there wasn’t really a law against abuse, he wouldn’t face severe consequences, but it still wasn’t something that was tolerated in our city. So I was sure, that he would at least be stripped of his leadership position. The last thing he called his own, after we had defected.His hearing would be closed and only accessible for high ranking members. I wouldn’t make a statement under the influence of the truth serum, but maybe my brother would.We didn’t know about that yet....I had almost forgotten about all the stares and whispers, until we made our way out of the mess hall and wanted to walk through the pit. But before we could leave, some idiot, with tattoos all over his face, stepped in front of us, clearly not knowing, that one wrong word would be his death sentence. “So, is it true? That the legendary Four and his little sister were beat by their father? What happened, were you not brave enough to stand up to him? As fat as he is, he wouldn’t have been a strong opponent, so could it be that our Four is weak?” I had handed Theo to Uriah, after the dauntless man had spoken his first words. I muttered to him. “Please bring him back to the apartment. I don’t want him upset by people fighting.” Uri, being the best friend one could only wish for, nodded and hurried away, while I stepped forward.Eric tried to grab my arm, but I ripped it away. “Do you want to repeat that?” Smiling at him, he narrowed his eyes slightly, but still acted as brave, as one could be. Not. “And there we have the little girl. Did daddy beat you, too, or were you just there for his entertainment?”I chuckled unbelievingly at his audacity.“No, he never molested me, if that’s what your insinuating. But what exactly do you try to prove here?Do you want me to take off my shirt so you can see the scars on my back?” At that I could hear Eric growl lowly behind me. “Sorry, but they are covered by a tattoo and before you could even feel them, I´m sure you wouldn’t have a hand left to do so. Courtesy of my husband.”On que, he went pale, as Eric stepped besides me, chest puffed out and a murderous glare on his face. “Or maybe you want me to tell you the story where I´ve been attacked by `factionless` or the one time I was eight and `fell` down the stairs.” Both statements were followed by quotation marks, I made with my fingers, just to be sure, he´d notice the sarcasm.With some, you never know.“Or maybe, you want me to show you, how much it hurts to walk with a broken elbow, two broken ribs and a hairline fracture of your ankle, from the abnegation compound to the hospital. Do you?”I went to step closer, to pull his head down to meet my knee, but Eric was faster.Grabbing his throat with one hand, he twisted his elbow with the other, until a crack and a pained scream echoed through the mess hall, before he pulled the guy’s head to his knee, breaking his nose, like I´d planned to do. I never felt our connection as close as now. We really were soulmates. “At least now you can relate to the elbow thing.” Eric stated, smirking at the guy who was withering in pain on the ground. “And if someone of you wants to know how a belt feels like, when it hits your back, I´m always happy to help out. And not at least in theory, so consider yourself warned.” He shouted to his members, throwing daring glares into the crowd, that was shivering back in fear. Satisfied, that no one else had dared to speak up, he ushered us all out of the mess hall and into the pit. “Aww, that´s what I wanted to do with his nose, too!” I gushed at him affectionately, before jumping into his arms. Chuckling he caught me and carried me bridal style towards our apartment.“I know, love. I know.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Like Johanna had declared, the rebels were deported exactly one week after the trial. There were exactly 127 of them, mostly younger men, that didn’t make it into dauntless or were already born factionless. Eventhough, they wouldn’t have posed a real threat to the faction system with these numbers, they still could have done enough damage, if they´d made it into our compound.Eric came home a day after the trials, seething. He just found out, that there indeed was a traitor in dauntless. He was a lower ranking patrol officer, but still had enough clearance, to get into the control room and forward information to the rebels. He was added to the 127 and deported with them. Neither I, nor Toby went to see our mother a last time. It would have caused too many questions and accusations, as that we could ´fraternize with the enemy´. But Eric, being the love of my live, managed to sneak some letters to and from her.I wrote in mine, that I was sorry, that I couldn’t see her again, but that I was glad, she wouldn’t be executed. Her letter to me also contained excuses, but hers weighed heavier. I didn’t know, if I could ever forgive her for leaving us like that, but I wasn’t someone to hold onto anger, so I knew, I would eventually forgive her, but never forget.She explained a few things, how she managed to fake her suicide by leaving a note and just disappearing, how she survived in the factionless sectors and how she finally managed to gather their forces.But what she didn’t say was, what happened to her baby, my half-brother. I guess, he didn’t make it.Eric was highly interested in the aspects of how she managed to unite the factionless, since they usually always fended for themselves.Once erudite, always erudite. Not only were the factionless deported to the X-zone this weekend, but Marcus´ trial was held the day after. This would mean, I had to spend two days completely alone. Eric was busy with both, overseeing the first and functioning as a judge at the second, leaving me on my own to take care of Theo.Not that I had to do much usually, he was an overall pretty easy infant to handle. He only screamed when he was hungry, or needed a diaper change and let himself be calmed down easily. Especially by Eric. But that didn’t mean that it was easy all the time.Not at all, because if he really started to scream, Eric would be the only one who could calm him down. But he had to attend countless meetings as a leader, so that made it hard for him to be able to do so. And Theo was having a meltdown right now. He had been screaming for the better of two hours, refusing to drink anything or fall asleep and I was exhausted.I´d been getting up all night, because he was fussy and when he finally fell asleep, it was 7 am, meaning I wasn’t able to get back to sleep. Theo slept for almost 4 hours, before he woke up screaming bloody murder.The only solution for me now was finding Eric. So I strapped my son into the harness, Eric had brought home with him, and left the flat. On my way to the training room, where I knew he would be, to keep up his stamina, a lot of people were staring at me and the wailing toddler in my arms.I had one of my hands protectively folded behind his head, while humming to keep him quiet. It only worked little to keep him from screaming through the halls, so I hurried, while making sure I wouldn’t fall on the uneven floor. I finally arrived in the training room, where a lot of people were sparring, running around or beating the punching bags.One of them was luckily my husband and for one moment I was so mesmerized by his shirtless back, riddled with muscles and glistening with sweat as he pummeled the bag, until an extra loud scream brought me back to reality. A lot of the exercising dauntless turned towards me, curios about what was wrong and Eric was one of them. Recognizing it was his son crying, he bowed down and grabbed the towel and water bottle that were lying at his feet. He first wiped the sweat off his face, before slinging it over his shoulder. As he came towards me, he was tilting his head to take a mouthful of water, his Adam’s apple jumping deliciously with each gulp. I knew he was putting on a show for me. And it would have worked, if the little man here, hadn’t put me on the brink to exhaustion. “Who do we have here?” Eric asked, as he freed Theo from the harness, taking him and rocking him back and forth. “Na na, there´s no need to cry like that.” He muttered softly to the infant in his arms and being the traitor he is, Theo instantly calmed down.“That´s right. I can see who´s going to be your favorite parent.” He joked, smirking at me.
 Not funny.
 “Well, I´m sure his favorite parent will have no objections to feed him from his breasts, sincemine are pretty sore, so have fun.” I glared at Eric, making him roll his eyes in good humor. “Don’t take everything so serious, love.”Rubbing my hands over my face, I sighed. “That would be a lot easier if your little monster hadn’t been screaming for three hours without a break.” This made him frown.“Why didn’t you call me?”“Because you were in a meeting and I didn’t want to disturb you.”“You would never disturb me with something like this.” Eric declared, still rocking Theo in his arms, before looking up at me. “Why don’t we go to visit that idiotic uncle of yours in the control room, while mummy is taking a little nap? She´s not really friendly when she´s sleep deprived.” He addressed Theo, while stripping me of the harness, using it for himself.I could feel all the people staring at us, too fascinated and still unbelieving of what was happening in front of their own eyes, to look away. Not one of them ever saw Eric smile, nevertheless act lovingly or take care of a helpless creature.Their dubious faces were almost comical. “Language, Eric! And I don’t want you to insult my brother in front of my child.” I scolded him, only making him chuckle.“You see what I mean, little man?” It was so adorable I almost didn’t roll my eyes.Almost.Sensing that I was annoyed as well as tired, Eric smiled at me. Not his cruel one, or the one that was supposed to mock people, but one of his rare, genuine smiles, as he grabbed my hand and guided me out of the training room. “You look as if you´ll pass out any second. Go home and take a nap, you can meet us later for dinner at the mess hall. I´m going to take care of Theo.” Eric said lowly, making me turn towards him.“Don’t be ridiculous, I can handle it. And you have to work.” I stated, going to grab Theo, even if the nap sounded like heaven right now.But Eric stopped me. “I mean it. Go home. No one will care if he´s with me and if they do they won’t dare to say anything. Not to mention that it´s never too soon to start leadership training.” His last sentence was accompanied with a wink, showing me, that it was a joke. But knowing my husband, there was always a truth behind his words and that, when he really wanted something, he would get it. So I kissed the both of them goodbye, but not before telling Eric how much I loved him.All I got in return was a swat to my behind and a shouted order to get my butt into bed. With glowing cheeks, I did just that and as I fell into bed, dead tired, I knew that having Eric as a husband was like winning the jackpot.Whatever that means....The next day, every available member was mobilized, to cover the compound and the patrol sectors, since 300 of the guards were needed to transport the rebels out of the city. Eric had told me last night, after we finally lay in bed, that they didn’t expect a riot or complications at the transport, since every rebel had one of the devices implanted, that could be triggered by the leaders.He had taken Theo to the control room with him, where he had peacefully slept, while Eric and my brother were talking about things and monitoring the factionless sectors.At dinner that night, Max had indeed been joking, that our little one was starting to follow in his father’s footsteps. The rebels were loaded into special tanks, that have been modified to transport prisoners, while our soldiers were following with their tanks. At 8 am the dauntless started to load them into them and were ready to drive away at 9.30 am. Since they would transport them that far out, I was really starting to worry. Not one member of our city had been as far out there as they were all going to be, for 100 years and no one knew, what to expect.Therefore, my farewell to Eric had been a little dramatic, but he just shrugged it off and kissed me goodbye.One way would take approximately 3 hours and they had a lot of organizing to do, so I didn’t expect him to be back before 6 pm. In reality it was later, much later. I was already in bed at 11 pm, half asleep with Theo snuggled up on me, as Eric sauntered into our bedroom.Seemingly exhausted he stripped out of his uniform, only sparing me a glance, before disappearing into the bathroom. I heard the water starting to fall, as he took a shower.Five minutes later he emerged, still wet and only dressed in briefs, as he let himself fall into bed beside me.As I turned to face him, he was already watching me with hooded eyes. “Why are you home so late?” I inquired, while reaching out to caress his jaw. I could feel the tiny stubbles under my fingers.He needed to shave. “Had a few flat tires. Not to mention that the forest got so thick, we had problems to get through it.”I concluded from his annoyed tone, that the soldiers, that accompanied my husband today haven’t had it easy. I let my gaze trail over his face, memorizing the line of his jaw, how his grey eyes, that usually seemed to burn with intensity, were now sleepy and how his eyebrow piercing moved, when he frowned at me. Following my gaze with my fingers, I traced his face, until I was lightly running them through his hair.Eric closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation of my short nails against his scalp. “What was out there?” Opening one eye, he scrutinized me.“A lot of trees and beyond that, nothing really. A few train tracks leading into vast spaces and a damn lot of grass, but no signs of civilization.” He muttered, before closing his eyes again.I watched him for a few minutes and as he started to snore quietly, I, too, closed my eyes and slipped into dreams about foreign places and foreign people....The next day promised for Eric to be as tiring, as the last one. He had to go to candor, to supervise Marcus´ trial, that would only be accessible for a few chosen people.Tobias and I being one of them, but I had decided after my mother´s trial, that I wouldn’t go. I had neither someone to watch Theo, nor did I want to listen to my father, as he spilled his guts.I didn’t want to know what was happening in that demented brain of his. So I stayed home, busying myself with cleaning, taking care of Theo, who was laying on a blanket in the living room, fascinated by his mobile, and helping Eric out, by filling out some of his paperwork. Since the ambassadorship training dealt with such things, I knew what to fill out, so I could disburden him a little, since he usually, too, got up in the night, to change diapers. And it was a great way to divert my attention and keep the anxiousness, I was feeling at bay, as the day went on. Around 2 pm, someone knocked at the door and I opened up to find Tris and Uriah standing there. They came in and while Uri went straight to cuddle Theo, Tris flung herself onto the couch, rubbing her belly.They´d came to keep me company and so they did. I hadn’t had much chance to think about Marcus, while Uri was trying to get Theo to smile (not that it took much) with making funny faces and Tris complained about being a beached whale.I had to laugh at that, since I knew exactly, what she meant.  Time flew by and I was just finishing dinner, Uri setting the table, as Eric came storming through the doors, flinging his jacket onto the couch and disappearing inside the bedroom. All of us were staring after him, flabbergasted, as Toby came through the door, closing it behind him with a sigh.Tris went to hurry over, but he just waved one of his hands dismissingly, before walking over to the cabinet and pulling two scotch glasses out, filling them. He raised one, to question if someone wanted one, too, but only Uri agreed, since I was breastfeeding and Tris, well she was pregnant. Eric came back out of the room, now dressed in a wifebeater and combat pants, snatching the glass out of Toby´s hand and downing it in one go.I stayed silent, just watching the two of them. Only months ago they were beating the shit out of each other in front of the whole faction and now it seemed, as if they were able to read one another´s mind.Eric swayed his gaze through the apartment, stopping for a moment, when he saw Theo sleeping on the couch, inside a prison of pillows, to make sure he wouldn’t fall down, before stopping at me. He strode over, pulling me by my hips towards him and kissing me deeply. Almost needy. “Promise me one thing.” He spoke softly against my lips.“Anything.” My response was breathed, breathless.Eric leaned his forehead against mine, before going on. “If I ever even think of doing some of these horrid things to you or my children, shoot me on the spot.” Shocked by his demand, I looked over to my brother who snorted into his glass. “She wouldn’t be able to get you first.”“I hope that´s a promise.” Eric replied, letting go of me, before sitting down at the table with his head in his hands.The both of them looked utterly exhausted and repulsed and I knew what they had been through.I lived through it for eighteen years. “So what did daddy dearest tell you?” I asked, seemingly unbothered. But I couldn’t hide the slight shake of my hands and I knew Eric saw it, as I was fiddling with glasses. “Do you want the lively recount of all the things he did to us or do you want to know why he did them?” Tobias sassed, looking as if he was ready to drown himself in the depths of his scotch glass.But instead he downed it.“What, you mean? ´It´s for your own good´ wasn’t a valid reason?” My voice was dripping with sarcasm.“No, apparently he´s always had the urge to hit things, but didn’t want to deflect to dauntless, because he was sure he wouldn’t make it through the harsh initiation they had at that time.” Toby´s speech was interrupted by Eric´s muttered “Coward”, but he went on. “Not to mention that he wanted to lead the council, so he chose abnegation. Because he knew that he could make it to the top with manipulation and acting.”“Yeah, in pretending things he was always the best.” I muttered. “No wonder you were able to take that beating in initiation.” Uriah piped up from the couch, looking thoughtful. “I never saw anyone take so many hits before blacking out.” “Don’t talk about that!” My brother scowled at him, clearly remembering that one incident from my choosing year.We were fighting and I was paired with the biggest guy in my class, thanks to Eric. He knew I was Tobias´ sister, so he thought he would test my fighting abilities.Just too bad I had none. “Well, the only reason I made it into dauntless was my ability to endure pain. Oh yeah, thank you Eric, for that great experience. It´s marvelous to wake up in the infirmary and be told that you had been out for two days.” Raising my eyebrows at him, I tried to give him my best glare, but I wasn’t really mad about that.It´s dauntless life. Get used to it or become factionless.That’s how it is. Eric rubbed his neck and looked slightly apologetic, before straightening up and smirking at me. “I´m glad, too, since that was the first time I actually noticed you. Your endurance impressed me and let me tell you, only a few initiates were ever able to do so.” “What an honor.” My brother snorted, glaring at Eric. “I swear I never wanted to kill you as bad, as when you let some asshole beat the women, who mean the most to me.”Chuckling, Eric turned to Tris, who only stared at him, clearly waiting for an outburst. “What can I say? Number girl was another one to impress me, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t stupid of her to protect that coward. How´s the ear by the way?”“Just great.” Tris deadpanned, making us all chuckle.  “So did he say anything that made sense at all, or was he just condemning us and justifying his reasons?” I turned to Toby, wanting to know what the old bastard told all of our leaders.“Not really. Just that he was sure, it would teach us discipline and order so I could take his seat at the council and you would make the perfect housewife, not like our mother who obviously was a disappointment. But the rest he blabbered was just nonsense.” It was Tris´ turn to ask a question, since I was too lost in my thoughts. “And what will happen to him?”“Since there is no law against abuse and the abnegation voted for forgiveness, he won´t become factionless. He knows to much about our city and the government. Secret information. Him as a replacement for Evelyn could be deadly for all of us, so he will stay in abnegation.” Tobias sounded disgusted as he said that.How much bad luck can a person have when it comes to parents? “Either way he won’t be leader anymore and most likely be an outcast in the community. So Prior will take over for him. Seems like a good man. Congratulations, stiff.” Eric addressed Tris, making the both of us gape at him in surprise. “Seriously?!” Tris squealed, throwing her arms around him. “That’s so great!” She beamed, still hugging Eric. His face was contorted in confusion, since he has most likely never been hugged, after insulting someone, even if it was meant to be playful. In fact, all of us were gawking at her, as she somehow awkwardly held Eric in an embrace, her protruding belly making it hard for her to reach him.But she managed. Then, a few seconds later she seemed to realize, what exactly she was doing and let him go as fast as possible.Straightening her shirt, she looked as embarrassed as one can be and cleared her throat. “I mean that´s great for him, I guess.” Her awkwardness and the lower pitch in her voice seemed to amuse Eric, because he started to chuckle, making us all follow suit. “Who would have thought the stiff liked to cuddle?” He mocked playfully, but smiled at her.Taking her into a protective embrace, Tris hid her red face in my brother´s chest, as he raised an eyebrow at Eric “Stop harassing her.” “Okay.” I intervened, not wanting it to get out of control. Smiling brightly, while displaying a bowl with gratin, I asked with my sweetest voice. “Who´s hungry?”....Ten weeks later, we all rushed to the infirmary at six in the evening. My brother had called around 10 am, in hysterics, claiming Tris´ water had just broken. I told him to calm down and take her to the infirmary, which he did.We arrived, to a baby screaming and Tris lying in the hospital bed, exhausted. I envied her for her eight hours of labor, since I had to endure more than 14, but I was thrilled to see that everything was alright.Eric was carrying Theo, while I went over to my brother, who awkwardly held his son in his arms. The little one was screaming his lungs out, so I took him, rocking him back and forth, while shushing him.After a few minutes he had calmed down enough and I took a look at him.  His face resembled my brothers a lot and I had to say, he looked a lot like Theo.But when he opened his eyes, instead of the slowly turning grey ones, I was looking into deep blue eyes.“He has your eyes.” I smiled at Toby, before walking over to Eric. He took a look at him, before doing the same with Theo, then turned to me and whispered loudly.“I bet Theo would win.” I laughed loudly, as Tobias scowled mockingly at him. “Let´s talk in a few years, shall we?”Walking over to Tris, I bowed down and laid the now calm infant on her chest. “What´s his name?” Tris gazed lovingly at her son, before smiling at me.“Ben. Short form of Benjamin.” Laughing, I looked over to Eric. “If we go on like that, dauntless will only have dauntless born with short forms of abnegation names.” “I always told you they want to take over the city!” Uriah exclaimed in mock horror, as clasped his hands in front of his face, before he slapped Eric´s shoulder, who was standing beside him. That earned him a glare. “Yeah, you could certainly say this is the start of a dauntless dynasty.” Eric declared, as he threw me one of his charming smiles, leaving no doubt about the things he had in mind to stake his claim further.Not that I had anything against it.No, in the contrary. Because as I held my son in my arms, listening as Tris quietly sang to her boy, I knew this was only the beginning. The beginning of our family. The beginning of a family that would indeed one day be considered a dauntless dynasty.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

I was trying to heave the huge birthday cake, Eric had got for Theo´s second birthday, onto the table. Not an easy task considering it was the hugest dauntless chocolate cake I have ever seen. It was his favorite flavor, so Eric bribed the cooks to make the cake huge.I guess it was either blackmail or threats. Seeing my predicament, Uri hurried over and took it from me, lifting it up with no difficulties. Pouting at him, I crossed my arms.“It´s unfair.”“Considering that your 35 weeks pregnant I think is reasonable that you can’t lift such heavy things. Man, I think I´m in love.” Uri stared at the huge cake with loving eyes, as I did the same with my belly.I was rubbing it in circles, as Belle appeared out of nowhere and slipped under his arm. “And here I thought you would be in love with me, considering we only got married last week.” She joked.“Yeah, but we didn’t have such an awesome cake. Can we switch?” He asked me, still pouting about the cake. “If Eric can get me such a cake, I´m sure you would love to leave him to me and take Belle in return.”His child-like grin was adorable, but didn’t stop his wife from elbowing him in the guts. Doubled over in pain he wheezed. “Just joking.”“Damn right you are.” Belle wiggled her eyebrows at me. “I´m way better than some cake.”Uriah looked ready to protest, but when he saw her threatening gaze, he was fast to agree.“How´s my little niece doing in there?” Belle asked me, while staring at my bump.“She´s great. Theo was a lot heavier, so I hope she will come when it´s scheduled and still not be as huge as he was.” I felt someone wrap his arms around me, caressing my huge bump. Relaxing into his chest, Eric pressed a kiss to the back of my head, before addressing the newlyweds.“I´m sorry, Uriah, but only you learned some of the moves my wife here has perfected inthe last two years, I have to decline.”Swatting his biceps, I turned my head away to hide my blush. He still managed to make me uncomfortable with his jokes, no matter how often he used them.“Yeah, that woman can use her hips.” Belle agreed and I could practically hear her wiggling her eyebrows.She always does that. “When´s the birthday boy coming home?” I asked Eric, to divert the attention, while doing the finishing touch at the decorations, that were sprawled everywhere in the flat.My husband loved to spoil his son. “Four should be here with them, soon. I guess he´s picking up Tris and the other ones.” And Uriah was right. He wasn’t even able to finish his sentence, before the door opened and two toddlers came storming in. Being only 3 months apart, Theo and Ben could have been twins. They had the same brown hair, coming from my part of the family, most likely my mother´s. Theo´s face was a little rounder, like Eric´s, while Ben obviously had his father´s chiseled jaw. My son had our grey eyes, while my nephew had deep blue ones.They even loved each other like brothers. Eric and Toby worked a lot, especially since my brother took over the senior position in the control room, so I spent most of my time with Tris and the children.I had started working again, a year ago, but I only made visits to amity, when Theo was either with Tris or in the dauntless daycare.I enjoyed spending time with my son and with my sister-in-law. When they had started speaking, Ben wasn’t able to pronounce Theo´s name right and so the nickname Teddy came to life. By now, everyone was calling him that and it was really sweet, but I was sure it would start to bother him, when he got older.No dauntless man wants to be compared to a cuddle toy. Said little man came running towards me with unsure steps, stumbling here and there. As I crouched down with open arms, he jumped into them. His little foot collided painfully with my belly, making me huff. Eric, the ever-observant one, noticed of course, and snatched him out of my embrace. Pouting at him, I got up, rubbing the sore spot, as Toby and Zeke came into the flat, closing the door behind them. “Sorry that we´re so late. Teddy wanted to climb the climbing wall once more.” My brother wasn’t often breathless, but handling two hyperactive toddlers, that thought they were full-fledged dauntless members, was sheer exercise.“I hope for you, you had him strapped in.” I told my brother, raising my eyebrows at him, as I squatted down again to take something Ben was holding out for me.“Banana.” He said proudly, making me chuckle.“Yes, Ben, that´s a banana.” My brother rolled his eyes and heaved up his son. “Those walls are no higher than 50 inches and the floor is packed with soft matts, there is nothing that could happen to them there. At least they´ll be tired tonight.”“There is always something that could happen.” I contradicted him, walking over to my two men. Theo was telling a story, to his best abilities, as he waved his hands around in front of Eric´s face, who was smiling at him.As he spotted me, Theo´s face lit up with new eagerness.“Mommy. We climbing today!” He exclaimed, touching my cheek. “And I was soooo high.” He stretched his arms as far up in the air as he could. “Wayyy higher than Ben.” He ended his little speech with a smirk, that would have suited his father. In fact, it did. Both of them were smirking at me. I didn’t want to roll my eyes at Eric, because I didn’t want Theo to think I wasn’t interested in his tales.But it was hard. “That’s great, munchkin! But next time you could help him. Then you both can get so high.” I exclaimed with a lot of enthusiasm. “I will, mommy!” As Eric rolled his eyes, it was my turn to grin.“This is dauntless. Competition is everything.” He lectured me, shifting Theo´s weight on his hips, before setting him down, since he wanted to. “Family is everything.” Winking at my husband, I took my sons hand and let him pull me towards my brother and the rest of our little group, where Ben was sitting in the middle.He let go and walked over to his cousin, before grabbing his shoulder and flopping down onto the carpet beside him. Since they shared everything, Ben immediately handed over one of his miniature dauntless trucks and both of them started to play and make grumbling noises, letting the cars crash into each other. I watched the two of them, as I conversed with the people sitting around our coffee table and soon Eric joined us. We talked about the changes to come, like a retirement complex for especially dauntless, but available for every faction member, that wanted to spend the rest of their lives with people the same age, instead of living alone.Or the huts near amity, where pregnant women or sick people, be it mental or physical, could spent some time, after getting permission from the leaders.All that and a lot more work, was in progress, often build by the factionless in exchange for supplies and medical care.Our city was becoming pleasanter each year, thanks to Andrew Prior as the head of our government. Interfaction relationships with family members were now permitted to a certain degree, even encouraged. It took away the pressure from the teenagers, that had to choose their faction.Tris´ father was doing a great job at uniting our city. Soon after, Tris herself was stepping into our flat, looking like she´d been hit by a truck, Christina and Will following.Tris and Will were carrying two toddlers, as Christina held her newborn daughter in her arms. The two almost one-year-olds with the mischievous facial expression were in fact, Tris and Toby´s children. I can’t even begin to explain, how astonished I was, when Tris told me she was having twins, only a few days after Ben turned 4 months. Especially with them being from abnegation, I would´ve guessed Tris and Toby could wait a few more weeks, like we had, but I guess not…And my brother tried to tell me to be careful. At least my second pregnancy was planned… “Your sons thought it would be funny to paint the couch with baby food.” Tris exclaimed, shoving her son, who was grinning like a thief, into his father’s arms. “It´s your fault.” My brother´s voice went a few octaves up, as he tried to defend himself. “How is that my fault?!”Tris turned around and glared at him. “Because,” she pointed her finger at him. “You were you one telling me we didn’t need to use condoms!”Her reply made all of us laugh loudly, as my brothers face turned beet red. Muttering embarrassed to himself, he went over to the kitchen area to get some wipes, since Andrew´s face resembled a war zone. Even if she was stressed out by handling 3 toddlers on her own and voicing that fact out loudly, I knew Tris would never change a thing about her family. Not to mention that the twins were simply adorable. Jonathan and Andrew both had dirty blonde hair and Tris´ doe eyes, with a certain sparkle in them. Taking a good look at them, I knew two things for sure:
Those two (just like Theo and Ben) would break a lot of hearts here in dauntless
They would replace the Pedrad brothers, as the kings of trouble
 Never considering myself as a huge beauty, or even pretty, I knew that, if Theo only looked a little like his father or his uncle, he would never be amiss of female attention.But for now I was happy with him playing truck driver. Eric got up from the couch and slapped his knees. “So, who´s ready for some cake?”The sentence you should never ask, when any children are near.Theo and Ben threw away their trucks, before standing up, with some difficulties, and screaming in unison “I am, I am!”, while the actual twins portrayed their enormous vocabulary by joining in with “Cake!”. Laughing, Eric and Uriah made sure Theo and Ben wouldn’t hurt themselves while running towards the table. Tris was now carrying Jonathan in her arms.All the screaming had woken up Christina´s daughter, who was now joining our little ones in shouting through our apartment, so she went into the bedroom to calm her down. Exhausted from all the standing around, I took a seat beside Eric who was standing with Theo in his arms in front of the cake. Uriah had Ben on his lap, Tris Jonathan and Toby had Andrew. Zeke lit up the two candles for Teddy to blow out.“Make a wish.” I told him, before he could start. Furrowing his forehead in concentration, Theo thought hard about what he would wish for. As his face lit up in pure delight, I knew he had thought of something.“I wish to marry Ben. We can share a room like mummy and daddy an play all day long.” I burst into laughter, like the rest of the table, while Eric scowled. “You can’t marry him.”“But whyyyy?” He whined, looking close to tears.“Because he´s your cousin.” Eric deadpanned, throwing me a `what-the-fuck´ look. Knowing that Eric was a great father, but sometimes not the most talkative, I started to explain. “Look, honey. You can’t marry him, because you marry someone to build a family. You two are already family so there is no need for that, okay?” Theo nodded, seeming to have understood what I told him.“Can he sleep here tonight?”“Of course he can.” I said, as I looked over to my brother, who looked relieved. One night without a toddler that is already able to walk around, must be pure bliss. Especially if you have two little monsters already crawling through the apartment, deliberately manipulating things.Seriously.Last time I was there, I witnessed how one of them made a mess in the kitchen, by throwing down a bowl of tomato sauce, as the other one was stealing the cookies from the coffee table.Little devils. Theo took a huge gulp of air, before blowing out the two candles. I hope our guests like cake with toddler spit on it. Oh well… I took over the cutting of slices, while Eric was now sitting with his son on his lap.We chatted and laughed a lot and after everyone got a slice of the infamous dauntless cake, the children were way too occupied with eating, to make any sort of ruckus.At least that’s what I thought. “Jonathan, NO!” Tris screeched, but it was already too late. The mischievous little man had grabbed a handful of cake with a lot of frosting and hurled it across the table. He hit bullseye. As Eric brushed away the cake from his eyes, the only thing that was heard in the whole apartment, was a simultaneous chuckle from both of the twins, leaving me wondering, if they had planned this all along.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Today was family day. Okay, not really, but Tris and I decided to pay our husbands a visit. Yes, husbands.Tris and Toby finally managed to get hitched. After having three children.Not really abnegation of them.The twins and Ben had kept them on their toes all the time, so they only recently were able to sign their marriage papers.
Procrastination much.

However, the both of us decided that we had to visit our men in the training room, where they once again trained the new bunch of initiates. This year the first jumper was, like usually, a dauntless born, but there were two abnegation and one amity transfer. Looks like Toby, Tris and me broke some sort of taboo with switching factions in our years. We no longer got strange stares as we walked through the compound, since all members knew the Coulter/Prior-clan. Yes, my brother decided to end the era of the Eaton name and changed his last name to Prior.Now he could tell everyone his maiden name was Eaton.This little fact caused him much grief in form of jokes coming from his best friend and his brother. That was, until he challenged Zeke in the ring and shut him up for good. When my brother isn’t in the mood for joking, he won´t tolerate it. So here we are, Tris with Ben and the twins, while I had Theo on one hand, carrying my two-year-old daughter. I could see Theo or Ben becoming authorities, much like their fathers, or the twins pranking everyone, but I knew Harper would be the dauntless princess.Being a daddies-girl, Eric got her everything. From a pink room to pink throwing daggers. Everything was pink and sparkled.In handling she was a lot more difficult, than Teddy had been. She didn’t like to eat certain things (or everything at times) and when she was fussy, I wasn’t even aloud to touch her.Eric only.It was great to see, how much they adored each other, but for my liking, he was spoiling her a little too much. But that didn’t mean that I loved her any less than Theo, god no.She loved to have her dark blonde hair braided and her grey/blue eyes were sparkling, whenever she saw something she liked.Harper was a beautiful child. And a really outgoing one at that. In the daycare, there was no child she wasn’t friends with, but I had no idea where she got that from, since I´m not that outgoing and Eric… Let´s just say he and people didn’t mingle good. Throwing open the door of the training room, Theo and Ben stormed inside, while Tris managed to catch it, before it could slam into the twins.“My four-year-old son can throw better than that!” I heard Eric shout from inside at one of the initiates and he was probably right.Growing up with wooden daggers in the nursery, Theo threw his first knife with one and a half years, making me so concerned, that I packed away all of the kitchen knives.With those dauntless children you never know. I stepped through the door, to just see in time the two boys jumping onto their father’s legs. Seeing Eric, Harper demanded for me to let go and like the good slave I was, I complied.My little princess, too proud to accept help, denied my outstretched hand and paraded over to her father, while the twins disappeared into thin air.Like they always did. Eric heaved his daughter up, while throwing me a questioning gaze. I replied with a shrug of my shoulder. “What the hell is this? A family center?” A guy asked and I would bet my monthly wage, that he was a former candor.“No, for you this could be a learning experience, since obviously you have no idea how to throw knives.” My response shut him up fast and as his face turned red, I knew he wouldn’t talk again. Smirking, my husband picked up his son and stood him on the table, where the throwing knives lay, shooting Tobias a competitive grin.Not one to back down, he did the same with Ben, handing the both of them some dull blades, that would make the target light up, where they had hit. “May the best one win.” Ben told Theo, as they did their ritual. It consisted of this phrase, no doubt stemming from my brother, before the two would nod at each other and afterwards shake hands. I fear that this was my fault, since Tris and I tried to dim in their competition. Not that it was necessary. I have never seen them fight, like never.They either find a compromise or just forget about the source of their conflict. Harper, on the other hand, would never do that. She even got in a fight with Krissy, Christina´s daughter, over a piece of toast. And I am talking about hair pulling and slapping each other.Like a real dauntless. Both of them got their punishments and as I took away her favorite pair of pink throwing daggers, Harper glared at me and didn’t speak to me the whole day. She then went back to Krissy and resumed playing, as if nothing ever happened.Eric had to put her to bed that night and I was being ignored for three days, until Eric decided to put his foot down and had a lengthy discussion with her. I have seriously never heard a toddler argument with such ferocity.I´m afraid she´ll chose candor. The two boys threw their daggers simultaneously, like they always did. Since they turned two, they had been watching their fathers train, trying to copy their movements. I once walked in on them, wrestling on the nursery floor and thought they were seriously fighting. But when I screamed at them to stop, they looked at me with big eyes and told me they were practicing to become as strong as their fathers.At that point I didn’t knew if I should be worried or proud. The two of them hit the target pretty good, inside the inner circles, after countless hours of practicing. They only managed to hit bullseye with luck, since their movements were still not as coordinated as the ones of older kids. But everyone could see that these two would make it far here, if they decided to stay.The thing I loved most about them throwing knives, was to watch how their faces contort in concentration. Theo narrowed his eyes, while Ben bit his tongue.Talk about adorable. Throwing the three knives took them under a minute and they were getting faster with each time. The scores lit up over the boards and my brother fist-pumped, as Ben´s was a few points higher than Theo´s.The two little men were now shaking hands, as one of the bigger ones glared and the other beamed.Sometimes I was wondering, which ones of them were the adults here. As the two boys were safely on the ground again, Eric who still had Harper in his arms, walked over to me. He shouted over his shoulder at the poor transfers, that still looked shell-shocked by what they had just witnessed.“Get back to throwing, or my son will throw real knives at you!”This managed to scare them enough. They were hurrying back to their stations and resumed practicing. Harper was chatting happily about her new dress in his arms, while Eric now tried to reign his bad mood in.Rolling my eyes, I kissed my cheek. “You know as well as I do, that these scores are coincidental. There is no need to fret over such a petty thing.”“And you know as well as I do that a few points in initiation can decide, if you are first or second, if you become leader or not.” Scowling at me, he satisfied Harper with a reply, as she demanded his attention.I could see my brother, grinning like a Cheshire cat, with Ben in his arms, chatting with Tris, who held Theo’s hand. No, at the moment there was no one of us pregnant. At least not that I knew of. “And he has over 14 years to learn everything, so stop worrying or scheming or whatever you do up there.” Lightly tapping his forehead, he caught my hand and pressed a kiss to my palm.Our little moment was interrupted by someone meekly clearing their throat. We both turned our heads and saw a petite girl standing there with an apologetic look on her face.“What do you want, stiff?” Eric asked annoyed, but still reasonable, since there was a child in close proximity. So that was one of the abnegation transfers.Interesting. I smiled at her, letting her know she didn’t have to fear him and she smiled weakly back.“I´m really sorry to bother you, Sir, but you see… my knives… They are kind of… missing?” Her voice was getting higher, the longer she spoke and Eric huffed at her, rolling his eyes.“Really? They are missing?” Clenching his jaw, he smiled sarcastically at her. “And where the fuck are they supposed to be? Was there a magical unicorn or did they just walk out of the room and decided to form a mariachi band?”“Eric!” I hissed, for one being pissed off, that he treated someone as nice as this girl like shit and cursing in front of our child.He just rolled his eyes and sighed exasperated, before turning towards the other initiates, that were all watching him curiously.“Someone else missing knives?” He asked and furrowed his brow, as two others held up their hands. “Then why the hell didn’t you speak up?!” He shouted at them and I was kind of glad that Harper was used to him screaming at other people.But him screaming at her would be something she wouldn’t tolerate. I was sure she would give him the third-degree, even with her limited vocabulary. The twins on the other hand, were more of the silent communicators. The seemed to read each other´s minds, instead of speaking to each other, or their parents. Sometimes it was really creepy.I swayed my gaze over the room, looking for the three-year-olds with the mischievous eyes. But I couldn’t find them.
Oh, fuck…
 “Eric!” I grabbed his arms, to divert his attention to me, as now everyone was looking for the lost knives. He raised one eyebrow in question. “The twins…” He huffed annoyed, before shouting over to my brother. “Eh, number boy!” Both he and Tris turned around. “Can´t you watch your little brats for once? Or take them on a leash or something.”Groaning in understanding, Toby pulled his hair, while Tris just exhaled deeply.Finding those two after they disappeared, was like finding your missing sock in the washing machine.Nearly impossible.And all of us knew.From experience.Eric even suggested once to implant them a tracking device, but even he stopped talking as he saw Tris murderous glare.But I had to admit, my husband was inventive. “Okay, initiates listen up!” Eric shouted through the room, making every head turn towards him. “The first one of you to find these little brats will rise one place in rankings. So give your best! To master complicated situations will be something you have to learn, so get a moveon!”“Can you do that?” I asked my husband with wide eyes. I got an incredulous stare in return.“Do I look like I fucking care? I´m a leader, I can do what I want.” Almost instantly after his declaration, every single one of them was searching with new found eager, so we established after five minutes, that they weren’t here anymore. We just had to comb the rest of the compound.
Child´s play.

We separated when we left the training room and hurried towards the pit. Theo and Ben were with Tris, who was walking in a slower pace than the rest of us. Like Harper, who was bored in Eric´s arms, we all had been through this ordeal at least a dozen times.The first time it happened, every single one of us went into hysterics, but the more often it happened, the more desensitized we got.Of course we were still worried, but these two knew their way around. It was only a matter of time, until they would be found again. So we searched through the stores in the pit. Toby had called the control room and they were watching the footage and would report back, if they saw them. All the sales people wore an amused expression, since everyone knew the infamous devil twins. If they would find them, they would bring them back instantly, like usually. We´d been in the pit for over 45 minutes, before an initiate came running towards us, being breathless but also looking triumphant.“They´re… they´re in the kitchen.” He wheezed out, holding his side.Tris eyes widened, while Eric threw me a deadpan stare and we all started jogging simultaneously.“You see, Sir… They somehow managed to get into the munition storage…” The initiate panted, just as Eric threw the doors to the kitchen open, the screaming of the chef could be heard in the mess hall. And there they were. Sitting in their chaos, like a black hole in its orbit. But instead of fragments, their orbits seemed to be a strange mixture of cake, flour and… paint?Well, it certainly looks as if they found the paintball bullets, that were stored for the children to play with.
Damn.
 “When is there one day those two devils don’t make a mess out of my kitchen?!” Alfred, the chef screamed, face red with rage. “Look at that. They cut holes in all our flour bags, stole a fucking cake and destroyed countless paintball bullets! I mean who the hell taught them to do shit like that?!”“Hey! Those are my children you´re talking about!” Tris exclaimed offended.“Children?! Children?! Hah! Those two are monsters! Not even the Pedrad idiots were that bad!” Alfred screeched, crossing his hands over his head in despair.“Hey!” Hearing the whining, I turned around to see Uriah standing there, pretending to cry. “And I thought, what we had was special!” Squeezing through us, Uri looked at the twins in wonder.“The Legacy lives on.” “Then you will have no qualm about cleaning up.” Eric told him with a dead-pan stare, handing him a broom. “Because these two monsters are having a bath.”Sighing, I smiled apologetic at Alfred, before picking up Jonathan.I had to say the green paint really accented his eyes.Tris did the same with Andrew, who was covered in red, letting the two older boys walk on their own.“And a bath they shall have.” I muttered, looking down at the boy, who´s front was covered in green, his back in white and chocolate all over his face.If he wouldn’t have my brothers facial structure, I´m sure the whole compound would have been flooded with rumors about their heritage. With those two, Uriah would never have to worry again, because one thing was sure: His legacy would live on.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

I had been home alone all week. Eric had been called to the fence in the middle of the night for an emergency. Apparently there was a hole in the fence and the whole government was in turmoil, because they were afraid that something or someone managed to get inside the city. To not cause a mass panic this little fact was hidden from the faction members and only the leaders had access to this classified information.But there was nothing on the camera feeds and the extra patrols didn’t find anything suspicious either, so I wasn’t really worried about it.What I had to worry about were the three children I had to take care of. Theo was already in third class being nine years old, while Harper just got into school last year. The separation of her father, on her first day of school caused a major temper tantrum, followed by a tear-fest. Only the promise, that she would get a new, sparkling dress, managed to get her to attend that day. She stopped to cling onto her father’s leg, brushed her tears away and strode into the building, like she owned the place.Like I´d already said, she is a little princess. Alexis was our youngest daughter. With three years she was a lot shyer than Harper had been, but was adored to pieces by everyone who knew her. Something about her drew people in, even if she was still a toddler.Maybe it was her smile, that could light up your whole day, or maybe the way she looked at people. With so much trust, love and happiness.She wasn’t really good with meeting new people, so I was overjoyed that she had chosen Sam, Uri´s and Belle´s firstborn son, as her companion.While Ben and Theo seemed to be equally strong in their friendship, and Harper and Krissy fought like cats and dogs, Alexis seemed to depend on Sam. He was always the one to initiate contact to other toddlers and always pulled her with him, never letting go of her hand.But her shyness made her that much more lovable.The third in their party, even if she wasn’t as close to them, as the two were with each other, was Aurora. She had been the long-hoped-for child of Zeke and Shauna. Both of them wanted one for the longest time and it finally happened, when I was expecting my second daugther. She was a few months younger than Sam and Alexis, which would mean she would get to choose a year later. In abnegation I, myself, had never had such a close friend growing up. Not just because of Marcus, but because it was frowned upon. So I was delighted that every single one of my children seemed to have someone, they could later rely on.Someone who would always have their back, who would die for them.In dauntless friendships were made for life. It was once again the time of initiation and tomorrow would be visiting day. Andrew and Natalie had invited us all to come over and that´s exactly what we had planned.Eric was supposed to come home tonight, while Theo would spend the night at Ben´s and Harper would have a sleepover with Krissy.I had volunteered to take care of Alexis, Sam and Aurora this afternoon, so they would spend the night with Shauna. She wished for another child, but somehow it wasn’t really working out, so Shauna was thrilled, whenever she could have the little ones over and I was thrilled to finally have a night off.A night with Eric. While the children played in the living room, where I could see them, I prepared dinner. I had bought steaks and would cook them with roasted potatoes for us.Preparing the potatoes, I mashed a few of them and gave them to the kids as lunch with a few vegetables on the side.Healthy food for healthy children.I made sure to hide to dessert from their prying eyes, since I had plans for it tonight. While preparing everything for tonight and watching over the toddlers, time flew by and before I knew it, it was time for Shauna to pick up the kids.As she turned to leave, all three of them clinging to her, she wiggled her eyebrows at me and told me to have fun.I would have fun.Protected fun at that.Three children were enough and even if Eric wanted more, there was no way I could take care of four kids, while working as an ambassador and making trips to amity at least once a month. When I was finally alone, for what felt like the first time in years, I let out a deep breath. Swaying my gaze over the clean apartment and the already covered table, the only thing I had to fix, was my own appearance.I´m not sure if an oversized t-shirt, covered with mashed potatoes, leggings and a bun, that resembled an explosion of hair, were considered sexy.So first pit stop would be a bath. Also one thing I hadn’t been able to fully enjoy, since there was always at least one person to want anything from me, so long relaxing baths weren’t usually on my schedule.It was pure luxury and something I never really appreciated, when I was still single and living on my own. I spent the next two hours in the bathroom, shaving, straightening my hair and making myself look presentable. As clothing, I only choose my favorite robe and was just done with heating up dinner, as the front door slammed shut in the living room.“Hello? Is someone home?” I heard Eric call, sounding confused. It indeed was an almost never occurring thing, that our flat was as silent as it was now. I stepped out of the bedroom and smiled at him. Eric looked back suspiciously.“Where are all my little monsters?” “They are all gone. And they will be gone all night.” Biting my lip seductively, Eric´s eyes darkened with lust.Smirking he strode over and pulled me towards him, hands firmly grabbing my waist. “I think I know what you are planning, Mrs. Coulter.” He breathed against my lips, before claiming them in a passionate kiss.“I have no idea what you´re talking about.” I gasped, as he gripped my ass, squeezing it roughly. Planting my hands on his chest, I gripped his vest. “I made dinner.”Eric laughed loudly. “Great to see that I get dinner, before you seduce me.”That made me pout. “Don’t pretend I never cook for you.”“Would never cross my mind.” Pecking my lips, he pulled away from me. “But before dinner, I have to shower.”“You do that.” Smiling at him, as he went into the bedroom, I hurried over to serve the food. After ten minutes he came back, wearing nothing but low hanging sweatpants. I have to admit, with 32 years, my husband looked even better, then when we first got together. He had matured a lot and managed to get somehow even bulkier. Not to the point, where it turned ugly, but just right.He was perfect.
Mouthwateringly perfect.
 And he would most likely take over the position of the head leader, when Max would retire. Not that this would be in the next few years, but I guess in maybe six or seven years. He would still stay as a leader though at first, overseeing and advising Eric.And I knew Eric thought he was sneaky in training Theo and Ben in tactics and fight techniques, but I knew everything.He had finally accepted that those two would never work against each other, so he switched to training them both. Eric and Tobias even went as far as letting them fight against older kids. They both managed to knock out 14 year olds and together they were a serious threat to a full-fledged dauntless soldier. Being trained since they were able to walk, Theo and Ben knew each other’s movements by heart, a fact everyone could see clear as day, when they fought.Like their fathers, they seemed to move on instinct, knowing where their opponent would strike, before they even knew it themselves.It made me proud to see the both of them so skilled, but I had put my foot down, as I heard Eric talking about them taking over Max´s and Bud´s places in leadership, after they had gone through initiation.I seriously was so mad about that, I screamed at my husband and my brother for over an hour. By pressuring them to such an extent, I was worried the boys would either break down one day or change factions, to get out of something they might not even like to do as adults.I had ignored both idiots for over a week, till Ben and Theo came talking to me. When they had assured me, that it was what they wanted and loved, I begrudgingly started to stop ignoring them.But neither Eric, nor Tobias ever dared again to speak of leadership in front of me. They could start with that shit when the boys turned 16 or so, but not any sooner. Harper didn’t seem like an overly authorial personality, even if she liked to boss people around. I guess she would later do something like Christina. One day manage her own clothing shop or something like that. “I see you made steak. Juicy.” Wiggling his eyebrows at me, his piercing glistening in the light, I rolled my eyes, while pouring us both a glass of wine. I picked up the fork and cut my steak, putting a piece in my mouth.It was deliciousWe conversed for some time, eating slowly and just reveling in the fact the we were alone and had only ourselves to worry about “So how was it out there?” I asked, while pouring myself a second glass of wine.“Wet and dirty. Those erudites were all paranoid, panicking when there was the slightest sound. If they would have been my men, I would have left them there for annoying me. It wasn’t even a big hole. Only big enough for a man to crawl through, so whatever caused it, couldn’t have been that bad.”I snorted unladylike into my glass. “I know. I´ve been married to you for nine years.” “That´s right.” He purred at me. “And guess who will spend their ten-year anniversary in the cabins at amity. Without the kids.”“You´re joking, right?!” I squealed, jumping up and onto his lap. He just laughed, as I threw my arms around his neck and squeezed with all my strength. I´m sure I would have chocked a normal person, but Eric was far from normal.Laughing, he kissed me deeply and repositioned me on his lap.“You´re. the best. Husband. Anyone. could ask. for.” Pecking his lips over and over again, Eric caught my lower lip with his teeth and nibbled lightly at it. “Oh, I forgot something!” I exclaimed, before jumping off him and running towards the fridge. From behind me, Eric groaned deeply and muttered something that sounded like “Tease.”.Grabbing the bowl, I closed the door of the fridge and put the bowl onto the counter. I walked around to the other side and leaned against it, so Eric could see me perfectly.He had turned on his seat and looked over at me in anticipation. “Do you know what´s in there?” I asked Eric.Raising his eyebrows at me, he lightly shook his head.“Enlighten me, love.” “Well,” I drawled. “I had to bribe Alfred, but this is a bowl full of chocolate frosting.” As he began to chuckle, I loosened the belt of my robe, until I was able to shrug it off my shoulders.I stepped out of it, swiping my finger through the frosting and seductively closed my lips around it, tasting the rich chocolate.Eric´s eyes darkened in lust, as he saw the black and purple lingerie I was wearing, and he stood up so abruptly, pushing over the chair, he had been sitting on.In less than three strides, he was in front of me and lifted me up onto the counter with his hands on my hips.Eric grabbed the bowl and swiped his own fingers through it, spreading it all over my neck, before he slowly and seductively ran his tongue from my collarbone to all the way up to my ear.“Delicious.” He rasped with a rough voice, earning him a low moan in return.Kissing me fervently and with bruising force, he pulled on the bow that held my babydoll together. I have to admit that we didn’t make it into our bedroom that night and the last coherent thought that crossed my mind, before my husband guided me into a world of bliss, like he had done so many times before, was that scrubbing the frosting from all those kitchen surfaces before the children came home, would take me the rest of the night, that wasn’t dedicated to passionate love.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Abnegation was still as dull as I remembered it to be. Mark, the guy that was usually responsible for keeping the inter-faction relationship’s intact, managed to break his leg in three different places, as he tried to jump onto a roof and missed it. He was lucky that the roof wasn’t that high that he landed on a bush, otherwise he could have died.Therefore, the leaders asked me to go to abnegation. Knowing there was no one else capable enough to do so, I agreed. I actually liked to work with the council since Andrew Prior took over. Under his gentle, but firm thumb, the city was thriving. The factions all seemed to be more in flow with each other, all except for erudite.Jeanine Matthews managed to seal the whole faction off, not satisfied that the power of the government wasn’t handed over to her, she held a grudge against all of us.This resulted in none of us really knowing what was happening there behind closed doors, but since they still supplied us with everything necessary, no one really cared.And the speculations, that they were experimenting on people was only labeled as that.A rumor.Why should they test attitudes and reaction of certain individuals to the serums?It wasn’t often that people had more than one aptitude for a faction, but it wasn’t unheard of, either.I, myself was one of them, just like my brother and Tris and I would guess, my children.If contemplated, Eric´s way of thinking everything through, paired his sometimes unpredictable behavior, could indicate an aptitude for dauntless and erudite. But as I asked him, he just told me that was ´classified information´.Yes, he could be an ass.After twelve years of marriage and three children, I knew that too well.And I still loved him, even if I wanted to kill him sometimes. Alexis, or Lexi, how Sam called her lovingly, had been in school for a little less than a month. On her first day of school, Eric had to go out on a patrol of the factionless sector, since the control room monitored suspicious activity. But as they arrived, there was nothing there. It was close to the old factionless compound of the rebels, but no one could have been there, since it was destroyed in a controlled bombing of the dauntless, to ensure there would be no place to hide in the future.I didn’t have much to do that day. Like Harper, Alexis wanted to stay with me, but she was never one to make a scene. And as Sam came, he just took her hand and they left together. The only thing I could do, was stand there and longingly watch my youngest child concur a huge huddle of her life. But I knew Sam would watch out for her.He always did. Shivering, I pulled my coat closer, looking around the abnegation sector. For early October the air was frigid and the wind biting could. Sensing someone’s gaze on me, I looked over my shoulder, scanning the area like I´d been taught to.As a soldier you are always alerted and I placed my hand on the gun, that was resting in a holster on my side, making sure it was still there and ready.The numbers of factionless attacks had dwindled down, after we banned the rebels, but there had been a few in the last years. So Eric decided, that every time I was out without a guard by my side, I would have to carry a gun with me.I didn’t object because I felt safer, knowing I could defend myself and others. Reaching the doors to the abnegation headquarter, I paused and looked around one last time, only seeing a blur of grey disappear behind a house.Knowing it was probably a member in hurry, I pushed the door open and went inside. I was greeted by warm air and rubbed up and down my arms. I was greeted by a kindly smiling Andrew Prior, who’s hair was streaked with grey strands of hair. He grabbed my hand and held it slightly longer than a normal abnegation would have. Over the years and because his daughter was married to my brother, we had become close acquaintances and I somehow considered him family.“It´s so nice to see you, Amy. There are a few things I´d like to talk to you about.” Andrew said and gestured with his hands to follow him through the dull looking building.It was still how I remembered. Grey walls and blunt wooden benches in front of a podium, where the council would hold its meetings.We walked passed it, towards a room that used to be my father’s office and as I steeped in, I saw that it hadn’t changed much.There was only a computer on a desk and three chairs, one in front of it and the other two for visitors, that would like to speak to the head of the council.My visit was only a pleasantries and to find out how they handled the factionless and stuff like that.Not one to waste anything, not even time, Andrew got right to business and we started to compare numbers, statistics and progress reports....We only talked for about an hour and before I knew it, I was bidding Andrew farewell and was once again out in the cold.Walking briskly to the train tracks, I skidded to a stop as a lone figure stepped into my way. Immediately I placed my hand on the handle of my gun, but let out a breath when I saw who it was.“Marcus.”I was sure he could tell from the iciness in my voice how pleasant I found it, to meet him here.“Amelia. I didn’t expect to see you here.”“I just took over for someone else. I would say it was nice to see you, but that would be a lie.” Nodding, I walked around him towards the tracks, but halted in my steps as he spoke again.“You know, you destroyed my life. You, Tobias and Evelyn. You are the reason I lost everything.” Marcus didn’t sound angry, just resigned, but his words caused me to laugh humorlessly.Turning around, I looked at him incredulous and shook my head. “You didn’t lose everything. You still have a place in this faction, even if you are as far from selfless as anyone could be. And losing your place in the council is a small price to pay for making mine and Tobias´ life a living hell for eighteen years, so don’t come crying to me.”He took a step closer. “I´m not crying over anything. Everything I did was for your one good.” The voice he used now, was usually the one that was able to convince anyone of anything.It always worked.But I knew him to well and the only thing I saw now, was a resigned, bitter old man, having nothing better to do than to ponder over the bad things that happened to him.And he had been lucky to get away with so little consequences.Now it was my turn to take a step closer.“And you have to understand, that you not being our leader was for the good of our city.” Smiling patronizingly and a little sarcastic at him, I turned to walk.“Nice chatting with you, but I have to go. I got more pleasant things to do.” Rolling my eyes, I muttered the last thing. “Like an enema or something like that.” From a little distance away I could hear the train coming around the corner. Swearing under my breath I broke into a sprint, knowing if I missed this train I would have to wait over an hour in the cold, for the next one to bring me to the dauntless compound. This train was usually only used by dauntless, that had to run errands. The children would take one in a few hours, so this one would either be completely empty or filled with only a few members. But I knew, when I heard the horn of the train from a distance that I was too far away to still catch it. Cursing Marcus and his lunatic brain, I doubled my efforts, trying to reach the handle of the last door.It was too far away and I was too slow to grab it.The train disappeared behind a corner. I slowed down to a jog, before coming to a halt and doubling over, trying to catch my breath. The cold air hurt my lungs and I wheezed slightly, massaging my side that hurt from the strenuous activity, without any form of warm up. Suddenly hearing a loud blast, from where the train must have been this minute, I jerked violently. The explosion was followed by a fireball that I could see from where I was standing. Staring at the black clouds of smoke that rose into the air, completely shocked at first, I grabbed the gun out of my holster.Holding it away from me, but always ready to shoot, I turned towards the abnegation that had come out of their houses, rattled by the explosion.“Stay inside. Lock your doors.” I shouted towards them, before jogging along the train tracks.It took me three minutes jogging as fast as I could, while still being attentive to my surroundings, until I arrived at the scene.I lowered my gun in shock, looking at the train wreck in front of me. It seemed as if the train ran off the tracks, where it normally rounded a corner.Only it didn’t round the corner, but slammed head-on into one of the decaying skyscrapers.I swayed my gaze over the burning wreck, knowing no one inside could have survived a collision with such speed, or the explosion that followed. Putting my hand over my mouth, I was in shock. Knowing that, if Marcus hadn’t delayed my department, I would have been in there now, wasn’t really registering in my mind.I knew it was the shock to face such a situation, but I wasn’t capable yet to realize how lucky I´d been. Time seemed to be an abstract thing as I was standing there, watching the train burn and the building slowly crumble. Every single window that had remained in the decaying construction was now burst, just like the ones of the nearby buildings, paving the street with shards of glass. It seemed like forever and just a moment at once, until I registered the trucks arriving.The dauntless were here.From the shadow of the building I was standing in, I could see them flowing out and inspect the damage. The shock on their faces said it all, as the machine guns hung motionless at their sides.The train was used by all of us. Any single one of us could have been in there, if fate would have played us. One late truck arrived and a single, bulky figure, sprung out, running towards the wreck.“Amy!” Hearing him scream my name, pulled me out of my shocked state and I stumbled towards him, the gun still in hand.I saw him pulling his hair, pacing in front of the wreck, but I wasn’t the master of my voice and couldn’t call out to him.Tripping on my way towards him several times, because I couldn’t feel my legs or anything for that matter, I drew the attention of a few soldiers to me.They whirled around and pointed their guns at me, but lowered them instantly again, when they saw, who I was. “Eric!” One soldier called him a few times, but he only reacted, when Wayne, who was standing beside him, trying to hold him back from going any further, turned him around with as much force as he could muster.Instantly catching side of me in the gap, the soldiers had formed around me, Eric pushed Wayne away and ran towards me, catching me, before I could fall once again and cut my hands on the glass that lay everywhere.He slung his arms around my waist, as I slung mine around his neck, squeezing as hard as I could, letting the gun slipping out of my fingers.As it hit the ground, I felt him taking a shuddering breath, before exhaling deeply.“I thought you were in there.” Pulling back a little, he grabbed my faces and stared deeply into my eyes. He was red-eyed, looking deeply exhausted, but also relieved. “You were supposed to be in there.” Breathing against my face, he laid his forehead against mine. Opening and closing my mouth for a few times, I searched for the right words to say.“Marcus… He came up to me… talked bullshit… about how I destroyed his life… And I missed it… I missed the train.” Looking up at him, I blinked rapidly. “I missed it. Only a few seconds earlier and I would have been on it.”“But you´re fine.” Kissing my forehead, he pulled me into him once more, holding me securely to his chest. “You´re fine.”Eric held me towards him, as the building behind us collapsed, sending a cloud of dust over the whole city....This evening, I was sitting on the couch, wrapped into a blanket, a cup of tea in my hands and Alexis curled up on my lap, while Theo and Harper were leaning onto me, on both sides. The girls were both asleep, but Theo stayed awake with me, waiting for his father´s report.We´ve been waiting for quite some time, when he came through the front door, gently closing it to avoid waking up the kids.I stopped running my fingers through Alexis´ hair and looked up at him.He lightly shook his head, looking over to his son. “It´s past your bedtime.” Eric fretted, looking at Theo. “But daaad.” He whined, jumping off the couch.“No. Let´s go. You have school tomorrow.” Eric said, picking up his oldest daughter and carrying her into her room, before coming back and repeating the action with his other daughter.I stood up, too and set my cup down, before pulling Theo into a hug.“I love you.” Kissing his hair, I gently pushed him towards his room.  “I love you, too, Mum.” Theo replied, before closing his door behind him, just as Eric came out of Alexis´ room. Grabbing my hand, Eric pulled me into our bedroom, before undressing himself and me.When we lay both snuggled up in our huge bed, I looked up at him.“Do you know what happened with the train?”Sighing deeply, Eric stared onto the ceiling. “Not really. The cameras weren’t really working. The feed was interrupted yesterday and your brother was only able to fix it a few minutes ago. Luckily there was no one inside. You would have been the only one.”Furrowing my brow at that coincidence, I traced his abs.“And why did it derail?”“We don’t know anything yet for sure, but it looks like someone messed with the rails.” Bolting upright I stared at him. “What do you mean, someone messed with it?”Exhaling deeply, Eric rubbed his face, before looking me in the eye. “I mean someone deliberately manipulated the tracks.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

It was an important day for all of us.Initiation day.But not just any Initiation day. Today Theo would become a full-fledged dauntless member.His choosing ceremony was 4 months ago and he made us all proud as he and Ben chose dauntless without the slightest hesitation. Not that they had to worry about competition, despite the large numbers of dauntless born this year. Normally there were up to 20 dauntless born going through initiation at once, but because of the mixed up serums from erudite, that caused my pregnancy in the first place, there were 34 this year.Three of them deflected, one of them to erudite, one to candor and the last one to amity. The later had caused a slight uproar under our members, since they couldn’t understand the wish of a peaceful life.I, myself knew that there were worse things than living in peace and amity seemed like a decent place to spend the rest of one´s life.Without pressure.Only love. However, I was glad that my boy decided to stay, not that we had to worry much about him deflecting in the first place. Theo and Ben started to participate more in leadership matters even before initiation, to prepare for their chosen profession and to, without a doubt, prove everyone what they were really capable of.Both unbeaten in the fights, managed to set a record for the longest lasting fight between two initiates. Over two hours they struggled against one another, refusing to concede or let the instructors, who were thankfully not their fathers anymore, but two higher ranking members, call a tie.Only when Ben slipped on something, which I strongly assume was blood, Theo was able to knock him out, with a well-placed hook to his jaw.I wasn’t able to stand Eric´s gloating, which lasted over a week, until it became clear that Ben was a little ahead in the sims.This time my bother boasted, as Eric sulked like a toddler. The both of them were awful.It was a neck-to-neck race, even tempting the members to bet, which one would be the first ranking initiate this year. But the boys didn’t seem bothered by it.There was competition between them, of course, but they weren’t sore losers and it didn’t really matter anyways. Their profession had been, like I always assumed, determined, soon after they had been born and had been fortified after everyone knew, just how gifted they really were.When it came to fighting, especially when the two were tag-teaming, there was no one who could take them on.Not even Eric or Tobias. The first time we discovered this fact was when the boys were sixteen. They had come home from one of the excessive parties the dauntless hosted, drunk out of their minds. Eric had always been Theo´s role model, but the next morning as he tried to punish the both of them for breaking their curfew and one of my favorite vases, Theo refused to listen to anything his father had to say.So Eric dragged him to one of the fighting rings to handle it there, since he would have never laid hand on his children in any way, except in a controlled fight, where he was always in control.Theo won that day, but still got his punishment, just like Ben did.I strongly assume the two of them are our most skilled fighters.And I was proofed right through the duration of these weeks of combat training.  Like the two years before, it was Max´ turn to inform the faction of the rankings, like Eric used to do, when I was in initiation. This happened, after he had decided to assign Eric the position of our head leader. Something he had worked hard for since he transferred from erudite. Guided by Max´ expertise and experience, my husband managed to master this hurdle without great difficulties.He had always been a little nerd. Standing in the mass of dauntless, beside my brother and Tris, who were both smiling as widely as I was, I swayed my gaze over the throngs of people, searching for my children. The first one I spotted was Harper, as always encircled by her clique of friends and admirers. Like always she was in the spotlight, flicking her hair over her shoulder and smiling brightly at some guy, I knew from listening to her countless hours on the phone with Krissy. Trough that, I was getting to know things about my eldest daughter I never even wanted to know.Apparently that guy was a meathead, but a great kisser, so she kept him around.Harper was the typical popular girl, mesmerizing with her blonde hair and blue eyes, absolutely stunning in her appearance and she knew it.But eventhough she could be a total diva, especially to Alexis, she was never a bully. Only an annoyed teenager.She would go through initiation in two years and if she decided to deflect, I would guess she´d go to erudite.Harper could never live without a mirror, or without any form of drama, so no abnegation or amity. And since I caught her lying about her whereabouts several times, when she came home, sneaking into the flat at 2 am with her heels in hand, I guess candor was out, too.In erudite she could be a princess, since she was actually really smart, but I don´t think she would ever leave her entourage, or Krissy at that.The later was standing beside Harper, her midnight black hair as straight as Harpers blonde one, her bronze skin beautifully emphasized by the light, that was shining through the roof.Standing there, complete opposites in appearance, they were one at heart. The next one I spotted was Alexis, like always with Sam, and Aurora trailing behind them. He was constantly brushing his medium long, dark brown hair out of his face, as Alexis gestured wildly with her hands, obviously telling him one of her captivating stories, she was known for.Hell, she could even make a manual sound enticing, if she wanted to.Not that Sam wouldn’t know that already, since those two were joined at the hip. They were even worse than Ben and Theo who could go, if needed, a few days without seeing each other. That was something impossible with Alexis and Sam.The three of them mostly kept to themselves, Sam being the leader of their group. With twelve years, he was already sporting muscles, like any dauntless born.But he was also the sweetest boy I knew, always polite and smiling. I loved him like one of my own, especially since he was the oldest child of my best friend, only having 14-year-old sister named Isla.Sam was always the one coaxing Alexis out of her shell, making her interact with the people around her, while always keeping a watchful eye.I knew too well that my youngest daughter, was also the most fragile one of my children and I sometimes asked myself if it was because Theo´s confidence and Harper´s popularity intimidated her.But maybe she was just like me and had a little more abnegation in her, than dauntless.Either way, I knew Sam would keep her save with his life, if he had to. Smiling I watched, as he rolled his eyes at her bubbliness, before pushing her away playfully. When Alexis hit his arm, he pulled her back into him and ruffled her hair, making her squeak in protest. In the throngs of dauntless, who were feverishly anticipating the announcement of the rankings, I spotted the twins. With seventeen, they let Theo and Ben take over the responsibilities and concentrated at wreaking havoc in the whole compound. Both of them were devilishly handsome, with their dirty blonde hair that fell into their foreheads and huge eyes, that made every girl around them swoon.They were like two peas in a pot, even their smirks identical.And it always promised mischief.The last time I saw that expression, they planted glitter bombs in the leader offices. It´s needless to say, they were intelligent enough to build them with a long distance release button, while pretending to be interested in a control room job. They watched the monitors, portraying the offices and as soon as every leader was inside, they ignited the bombs, making every single leader´s office to a place, where an unicorn would be happy to spend the rest of its days. The livestream of my husband coming out of his office, every single inch of his body covered in pink glitter, made its round through the compound -and the whole city-, with lightning speed, causing the twins to hide for two weeks straight to escape the murderous rage of their uncle.But when it came to cleaning the offices, they weren’t happy, because let me tell you, that stuff will never go away again.
Like ever.

Worrying about what they had planned and the whole population of dauntless, I went on with my search. Furrowing my brow, I was getting worried, since Ben and Theo always were in the middle of the spotlight, most of the times unwillingly. I exhaled deeply, as I saw them by the stairs that led to the platform. Leaning against the wall, both of them seemed pretty calm and laid back, as they talked to two girls, that were constantly playing with their hair. But I could see the small signs of distress, like hands running through hair and fists that clenched and unclenched.Our grown up boys were both nervous.
But why?
They didn’t have to worry about rankings and there were no other things, I was informed of.I hadn’t seen Eric, who was now appearing on said platform, for the whole day, so I had no idea how the boys did in their fear landscape.But Eric´s facial expression told me enough.He granted the spot in the front to Max, who held this privilege for so many years.Raising his hands and beaming towards the crowd, Max spoke up. “Dauntless. I am standing here in front of you for one last time, to announce the rankings of our initiation.” Whispers erupted all over the room, as people tried to digest this information. Max was resigning.
Interesting…
 “I know, I know. Shocking, right?” He joked, demanding attention once again. “But it´s the truth. And I won’t be the only one to leave. Harrison will be right by my side. It is time for us to hand over the scepter to the new generation.And we will.From tomorrow on, there will be two new leaders joining leadership, while Harrison and I will stick around long enough to teach them the ropes.And no.They won’t be going through leadership training, because they proved us from minute one, that they would be our future leaders.That they are loyal to dauntless, to this faction.That they will guide us to unknown and true greatness.Our new leaders are brave, fierce and good-hearted.And when I look at the rankings, I´m glad that we decided to do it this way.” Where the main part of his speech was spoken, like the true leader he was, Max started to chuckle as he said the last sentence. I furrowed my brow at that and looked over to Eric, who met my eye. He smirked and shook his head, before starting to chuckle.I was getting more and more confused by the second, as Max concluded his speech. “I don’t want to bore you with unnecessary details and speeches aren’t our things, so here are the rankings!” Turning around with one arm raised and pointing towards the screen behind him, it turned to life. But it didn’t show the rankings. Oh no, it showed a video my husband and brother, drunk of their asses, arms slung around the others shoulder, slightly swaying to a melody that could be considered a folk song. The whole mess hall erupted in roaring laughter, as I turned to look at a speechless Tris and a beet red Toby, before hiding my face with my sleeves.Glancing through only one eye, I saw the video rapidly changing to Tobias with green dyed hair, chasing the person holding the camera, only dressed in a towel, portraying his abs to the whole faction.Then it switched to a furious Eric, covered in glitter, as he stormed out of his office, destroying everything in his wake.Next were Theo and Ben, both seemingly drunk, without shirts on, just as they both stood up, pulling their pants down. Wolf whistles could be heard from all around us. “Oh my god.” I breathed, looking at the screen in horror, but it turned black before anything inappropriate could be shown. Now on the screen you could read the words, written in cursive writing:                                    We present our new leaders to the faction! “Jonathan! Andrew!” Eric shouted, red with anger and irritation. “Four! Get your damn brats under control!” Just then the screen lit up, this time really with the rankings, whereas there was no trace of the twins anywhere in or around the mess hall.Hacking into the system like this and disappear under Eric´s nose took skills…  Shaking his head in resignation, Eric gestured towards the board. But what we saw, made us all go silent, before the first exclamations of confusion rang through the cafeteria.Raising his hands in a calming gesture, Eric addressed us all. “I know, I know. You are all confused by this, since it never happened before. But yes, we have two first ranking initiates this year.Both with eight fears, Ben was the one being a little faster in the fear landscape, while Theo beat him in the fights.These two are so close in all of their abilities that we weren’t able to determine who was the better one.” Eric sounded resigned, as I looked up at him, my mouth slightly open in confusion.Something like this has never happened before…Figures it would be those two to carry on the legacy, they inherited by their fathers. The curse that no one in the whole compound would ever know, who of those two was the superior.But unlike their fathers, they both revealed in this fact.It could be worse than being called the undefeatable two. “Theo and Ben, who worked hard for this, since they were able to walk without once thinking about giving up, will take over Max´ and Harrisons positions.Congratulations.”The smile Eric wore proudly, was as sincere and as loving, as it could get and I watched with teary eyes, as Ben and Theo sprinted up the metal stairs, giving each other a high five, before turning to hug Eric and the other leaders.I´m talking about man hugs. Like real men do it. Turning my head, I watched my brother giving Tris a deep and passionate kiss, twirling her around, as Harper beamed at her brother and cousin. I saw Alexis smiling widely, while the twins and the two boys on the platform grinned, reveling in the roaring of the dauntless all around us. In the middle of all this great chaos, I once again met Eric´s gaze and he smiled at me. Beaming at him, I kissed my hand and held it towards him, making him place his own hand on his chest, directly over his heart. He had gotten what he always wished for, Theo becoming a leader, leading this faction by his side, just like Ben would. Both were flanking him on each side of the railing, looking over their new found kingdom and I knew they would do great things. In that moment, I also knew, that I´ve got everything I could have dreamed off. I had a loving husband, three beautiful children and the whole faction supporting me and my family.To make everything perfect, the person that stood up for me since day one, was now standing by my side, holding my hand and watching his own son with blurry eyes. Everything we had been deprived off as children, we were now able to give our own ones. We had never felt the love, support, or pride of anyone except ourselves and as I was standing here, I was overwhelmed from all these feelings, turning my soul raw. As Eric appeared out of nowhere in front of me and pulled me close to him, I knew, that every single one of my dreams had come true.I had people to love me unconditionally and I loved them as fierce in return, never knowing before, that humans could feel emotions like this. In the embrace of the love of my life, still holding my brother´s hand, I knew the true meaning of love.The true meaning of happiness.The true meaning of family. 
Blood before Faction.

Always.
...
Notice the big time jump
...I was sitting in my office, reading through reports of increasing factionless activity. In the last two years, since Theo and Ben took over as leaders, there had been more and more reports of burglaries, lighter attacks on food trucks, with no injuries, but also assaults, that resulted in two dauntless being brought into the erudite hospital, unconscious.It was worrisome to me, but the boys and Eric did everything they could to keep everyone safe, by increasing the numbers of patrol officers and CCTV cameras in the factionless sectors. The twins went through initiation last year, coming out first and second because of their low number of fears. Obviously that was something to be inherited.Andrew and Jonathan were masterminds in scheming, manipulating computers and control feeds, while being really creative to do so.Both of them were a huge asset to the weapon development, just like the tech department.Since they were so good, leadership just let them do whatever the hell they wanted, it just had to benefit the faction.It was my strong belief that those two and their inventions, were a real threat to the scientists in erudite. Harper managed to score the third place in ranking this year, making us all proud. She was as fierce in fighting, as she was in arguing, when someone annoyed her. And that happened a lot. Being the fashion freak she is, she started in the department that designed combat clothing, that was just as bulletproof, as it was elastic. And Harper, being the smart one she is, managed to find a solution for that problem in the two months she was working there, while the rest of them didn’t manage it in two whole years.And Harper was able to make it look as fashionable as it could get.As Andrew mocked her about that, she said something about the lines of:Nothing is as scary, as a impeccably dressed woman, coming to kick your ass, while wearing 10-inch heels. Chuckling about my own thoughts, I placed my pen on the desk, just as my cellphone started to ring obnoxiously. Furrowing my brow, I looked down to see a message. Bolting upright, I ran out of my office, just as they turned on the speakers. “All soldiers to the pit. I repeat. Every soldier is to report to the pit.” Running through the corridors, there were soon a lot of other dauntless joining me. The numbers only grew, the closer we got to the pit.Squeezing myself through the crowd, I frantically searched for someone who could tell me what the hell was going on and why on earth they had called in a code red.Highest safety measures, only executed, if something bad had happened. Spotting Theo in the crowd, I hurried over. He saw me coming and before I could register the despair in his face, he had already grabbed my shoulders. Looking deep into my eyes, before lowering his gaze, he shook his head.“Mom… I don’t know what to do, Mom...” I grabbed his face and pulled it towards me.“Tell me what happened Theo.” As he looked anywhere, but at me, I knew it was bad. “Tell me.” It took me shaking his shoulders for him to answer.“They took her, mom. Both of them. They were on their way home from school and…” Theo´s voice cracked and I stumbled back. The only person that would cause such a reaction of his was…
No…
 “Mom!” Theo called, but I had seen Eric over his shoulder and made my way over as fast as the people surrounding me, allowed it.“Amy.” Eric said, as he placed his hands on both side of my head. He looked determined, but also worried out of his mind.Pushing him away from me, I stared at him. “Tell me it´s not true, Eric.” As he stayed silent, I screamed at him. “Tell me they didn’t take my daughter!”“Mom…” Harper appeared at my side, her eyes welling over with tears. Engulfing her, she laid her head on my shoulder and started to sob silently.Running my fingers through her long hair, I locked over to my son and husband. “Tell me what happened.” They both knew I was trying with everything I had to stay calm, but I was sooo close to exploding. And I didn’t know, what I would do. “Sam and Lexi were on their way home from school, apparently they argued over something. I have no idea about what. But they were shouting at each other…” Theo shook his head, to chocked up to go on. “How do you know?” I asked my husband, not looking him in the eye. I wouldn’t have been able to blink away the tears, that already threatened to spill over. 
I could not be weak. I would not be weak.
 “Aurora was following them. It was almost an hour ago. They had missed the train, because of god knows what. And they walked through the factionless sector, where they were ambushed. Aurora was behind them, so she could hide before any of the factionless could spot her. They hit Sam over the head as he tried to fight them, he went down…Alexis… They injected her with something, because she was struggling and she just went… limp.” Eric managed to sound emotionless through his explanation.Controlled and unaffected.Underneath he was anything but. But he had to keep his façade upright.In front of his faction.In front of his family, that was slowly falling apart.Closing my eyes, I buried my face in Harpers hair and her grip around my waist tightened.Alexis was my child, my blood, but I was almost as worried about Sam. He was a part of my family and I loved him. I had known him since his birth and he had always spent time with us. He was like a second son to me, like Ben, like Jonathan and Andrew and I prayed to god to bring them both home again.Safely. Feeling someone’s grab on my shoulder, I turned my head. Eric was looking at me in concern.“I will find her. I promise. I will find them.” He said lowly, before slinging his arms around me and Harper, pressing a kiss to both of our head. “There is no way in hell I will let this scum hurt our girl, okay?”Staring at me to see if I had understood, I nodded slightly and he pulled away, giving me a light kiss, before grabbing Theo´s arm and guiding him on one of the higher levels to speak to the soldiers that had gathered in the pit. As Eric spoke, someone slipped his hand in mine and interlocked our fingers. Turning my head, I came face to face with a red-eyed Belle, wearing a determined expression.I just nodded at her, incapable of any words. After 20 years of friendship we didn’t need to say anything to understand one another.We just promised us one thing.
That we would find our children.
 Looking up to my husband, I saw the men that would lead the search expeditions. My brother had the strap of a machine gun slung around his chest, just like his son beside him. Uriah looked as devastated as Belle, but just like she, he looked ready to murder. The twins were up there, too. Both equipped with their newest inventions, while Eric and Theo stood in front, displaying their strength in the face of the worst, that could happen to someone.That could happen to me. That day, 15 patrol teams with 12 members each were sent out to search for the factionless, that had abducted the child of their head leader and her best friend.180 dauntless were combing through the city, while at least 40 members in the control room, were watching every single camera feed, there was. As I looked up to my husband, as he instructed the patrol officers and briefed the ones that were responsible for defending the compound, I knew he wouldn’t give up until he had found his daughter. What I didn’t know yet, was that he would be victorious. That he would find her and would bring her back. But it wouldn’t be that day, that week or that month. I didn’t know, what would await us, when we finally managed to free her. What she would have to live through in order to survive. And I didn’t know, how hard it would be to keep our family from breaking apart, when the once so cheerful girl, that had left the compound that one, significant morning, would come home, her soul and mind as badly bruised and broken, as her body.  The only thing I knew right there was, that my faction was trying to save my family. In that moment, where every single soldier in the pit would have followed Eric into their own demise, to rescue my daughter, I knew that my faction is my family.  That my Faction is my Blood.